OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 7/24/03

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

Before the music, before the show, before the opening graphics - we have the Totally Endorsed locker room. Calvin Szechstein sits at the head of a table, Colvid on his right at Candie on his left. The bleached-blond leader of Totally Endorsed looks at Colvid, smiling.

"I was wrong about the bleach idea, man. Black is totally your color."

Colvid grins back, and Calvin looks at the camera, ready to do business.

"Candie... Colvid. Tonight, three days before License to Pin, you two and I are in an interesting situation. We have one sponsor - Little Ceaser's, God bless them. We have three members, we've been rocked by two people leaving. Tonight, we must make sure this all changes."

Calvin stands up, pulling down a chart. On it is a breakdown of revenue, month-by-month, since the beginning of the OAOAST.

"This, my friends, is a breakdown of revenue, month-by-month, since the beginning of the OAOAST, per wrestler. As you can see by the patterns here, the leading revenue gainer is the man with the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship - except for the Alfdogg days, but those were an abberation.

Now, what does this mean?"

Calvin pulls down another chart, reading it aloud.

"The OAOAST Heavyweight Championship equals revenue."

Calvin pulls down another chart.

"Revenue equals sponsors. What does this mean?"

Calvin pulls down a final chart.

"The OAOAST Heavyweight Championship equals sponsors."

Colvid raises his hand.

"Yes, Colvid?"

"Forgive me for my brutal honesty, Calvin... but how is one of us going to win the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship?"

"Glad you asked that, Colvid. Candie's not going to win it, obviously, as she's not up to the level of a Zack Malibu or a Shattered Dreams. And you and I aren't going to win it, Colvid, because Zack Malibu does not feel we're strong enough competitors to give us a title shot. As a result, we are down to one option. None of us can attain the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship on our own - so instead, Totally Endorsed recruits the OAOAST Heavyweight Champion."

Silence, and then Candie speaks up.

"You think Zack Malibu is going to join up with us?"

Calvin looks at Candie.

"Candie, there's nothing stronger than the pull of money."

"No, there's not. Unfortunately, you guys don't have any money, the only pull you had. There's plenty of other people pulling down just as much money as you are, and guess what? They have interesting personalities and good looks, too! I'm sick of putting up with your scheming, Calvin, you're going nowhere and I'm sick of riding your coattails there."

Candie gets up, leaving the room angrily. Calvin stares at her back as she walks out, then turns back to Colvid.

"Just you and me, man. This makes it all the more necessary that we get that title in our stable. Colvid, tonight, you and I are going to make absolutely sure that the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship... is Totally Endorsed."

[Chanel #99]

Opening Graphics~! Theme Song~! Pyro~! Fans~! Signs~!

And our hosts...

MC:"What's up everybody? Michael Cole here, holdin' it down as always with The Coach, and what a show we have in store for you tonight!"

Coach:"That's right fans, we are just several days away from License To Pin, an event that could be this years sleeper hit of Pay Per View events for the OAOAST. We'll have plenty of news concerning that PPV throughout the show tonight, however..."

Cole and Coach's opening schpiel is interrupted by Wally, a skinny road agent. He drops a piece of paper on their desk. Cole and Coach both read it.

Coach:"Oh no."

Wally goes to walk away, but Cole grabs him by the shirt.

MC (whispering):"What do you mean they can't make it. We have a show to do!"

Wally:"Hey, it's not my fault CWM wanted to have the Canadian Beer Olympics last night at the hotel!"

MC:"For the love of...you didn't have to say it so LOUD, Wally."

Wally:"Sorry, sir."

Cole turns back to the camera, as Coach watches Wally walk off.

MC:"Well, eh, hehe, ok. Apparently several of the HeldDOWN~! stars will not be appearing tonight, thus throwing our card in disarray. CWM, Caboose, Some Guy and Anglesault are all indisposed..."

Coach:"More like intoxicated."

MC:"...Coach, what the hell are we going to do. We've only got ONE MATCH to fill 2 hours now!"

Coach:"You hang tight, I'll be back shortly."

MC:"Sure, bail now. Get out while you can, Jonathan! Fans, we'll be right back."

[Chanel #99]

Coach:"OK, sorry about the mishap during the opening segment folks. We're back, and we have a very special match for you right now. Let's go up to our annoucer for this first contest!"

Announcer:"Ladies and Gentleman, the following match is scheduled for one fall, with an added stipulation. On the line: No. 1 contendership for the OAOAST North Amerian championship!"

MC:"Coach, you are a true work of art. Not only were you able to book this match during the break, but you managed to talk The Dames into sending the North American Title to HeldDOWN~!"

Coach:"That's right, Michael. He felt that Shooter McGavin or whatever that kid's name is on IntenseZone had pretty much done it all over there, so now we're going to crown a number one contender to take him on at the PPV and bring the belt here, daddy!"

MC:"Doesn't he have like, 5 matches already?"

Coach:"Hey, if you wanna work, you're gonna work here in the OAOAST."

MC:"Simply amazing, Jonathan."

*"Downfall" hits and the Superstar makes his way out.*

Introducing first, from Naples, Florida, weighing 212 pounds...THE SUPERSTAR!!!

(crowd boos)

MC:"Wait...you brought SUPERSTAR back?"

Coach:"Hey, when you want surprises, I know who to call!"

*"aWo PORNO" plays and Sandman9000 strolls out. He is carrying a turkey with him for no reason.*

MC:"Jacob X?"

Coach:"Sssh, listen!"

Representing the aWo...from South Philly, weighing 220 pounds...SANDMAN 9000!!!

(crowd boos)

MC:"He's back to his old ways?"

Coach:"That's right. Only Jacob X got retired. The Sandman did NOT!"

MC:"Neither did the old aWo music, apparently."

*"God of Thunder" hits and TK comes to the ring.*

And weighing 235 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!

(crowd cheers)

MC:"THUNDERKID? Coach, I bow in awe to you."

Coach:"Aw, it ain't no thang, Mikey."

*bell rings*

The three men move in on each other...then SS and TK both attack Sandman! They whip him to the ropes and catch him with a double backdrop! They then pick him up...DOUBLE STUNNER! Both men climb the top rope...TK hits a Harlem Hangover! 1..2..TK moves, and SS hits SM with a MOONSAULT! 1..2..no! TK gets a sliding dropkick to stop the count! TK and SS have a shoving match, and SM gets up and starts cheering them on. TK and SS stop...and give SM a double clothesline! Then they slug it out with each other, but SM sneaks to the top rope, and gets a DOUBLE BULLDOG!!

Coach:"YO~!"

SM covers SS, 1..2..kickout! SM covers TK, 1..2..kickout! SM puts a Camel Clutch on SS, as TK is still out of it! SS struggles to his feet, as TK rolls to the apron. SS manages to work SM onto his shoulders, then TK springs to teh top, and gives Sandie a HURRICANRANA off the shoulders of SS! 1..2..no! SS breaks the count. SS grabs TK, and delivers the rolling germans~! SS plays to the crowd, who start a chant...

Crowd: SHAVE YOUR LEGS! SHAVE YOUR LEGS! SHAVE YOUR LEGS!

MC:"*sigh* I missed that chant."

Coach:"Really? Even when it was directed at you?"

While SS is distracted by the chant, SM somehow makes his way up and delivers the GODSMACK~! TK gets a FALCON ARROW~! on SM! TK grabs SS' legs and rolls over into a bridge, 1..2..no! SS kicks out. TK follows with a powerbomb, but as he tries to pick him back up, it leaves him open for a sunset flip from Sandman, 1..2..no! TK gets out. SS rolls up SM, but he's too close to the ropes. TK charges, but both guys duck and TK goes flying over the top! Sandman flys off the top rope onto him! They slug it out, but get nailed by a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA from SS! SM is out, as SS takes TK back into the ring with him. Tiger Driver! 1..2..no! TK manages to get the shoulder up. SS follows that with a Brainbuster! 1..2..NO! TK gets it up again on an even closer count! SS delivers a GHETTO BLASTER~! and signals for the end...STAR POWER~!!! But wait! SM is holding up a razor outside the ring! SS looks at the razor...looks at TK...looks at the razor...then lays down on the mat and pulls his pant legs up!

Coach:"Shave it! Shave 'em both!"

MC:"OK, now this is just bordering in weird fetish territory with you, Coach."

Superstar gets relaxed on the mat, and doesn't even notice TK crawl over to make the cover..1..2..no! SM sees TK out of the corner of his eye and breaks the count...but in doing so, cuts SS's leg with the razor!

MC:"Bladejob!"

SS gets a chair from ringside, and nails SM! But wait...out of the crowd comes THE GOLEM!!!

MC:"YOU GOT EDWARD TO REDO THE GOLEM CHARACTER!?!?!"

Coach:"Sssh...it's only GenerationNever under the mask."

MC:"You got HIM back too? Man, Coach...you're a regular Cornette tonight! The booking gods are in your power!"

SS sees him as he raises the chair again, and Golem gets decked! But SS turns right around into a PSYCHO DRIVAH~!!! 1..2..NO!!! TK is able to break the count. TK signals for the ORANGE CRUSH~! prompting Angle-Plex to run out!

MC:"AGNES~!"

Coach:"I try, Michael. I aim to please."

But he is followed quickly by Alfdogg, who rams Agnes into the steps! Sandman grabs his turkey and nails Alfdogg...who lays groggy on the floor???

MC:"ALF? ALFDOGG? YOU BROUGHT ALFDOGG BACK?"

Coach:"Why yes, I did."

MC:"WHY?"

Michael is in awe, Coach is bragging left and right. This is one of the most shocking and intense matchups in HeldDOWN hist...what the hell?

Black lines go up and down the screen, the match fizzling into static blurriness.

Coach:"What did you do, Michael?"

MC:"It appears we're having camera difficul...aw Coach, we can't do this. Did you really think we could overdub a match and pass it off as brand new!"

Coach:"Why couldn't we!?"

MC:"NOBODY IN THAT MATCH IS EVEN HERE ANYMORE!?!? At least pick something that resembles continuity!"

Coach:"Fine. I didn't see YOU with any big ideas when we got stuck with a missing roster tonight."

MC:"Look, we'll think of something I'm sure. Right now I know that Totally Endorsed is here, and they're standing by in the back."

Coach:"Hopefully they rehired Candie. I can't...I mean, WE can't afford to lose that girl!"

MC:"Perv."

We cut to a shot of Shattered Dreams, relaxing in his locker room. The door bursts open, and Calvin Szechstein and Colvid walk in, Calvin's eyes gleaming.

"Shattered Dreams, next OAOAST Champion. How the hell are you, man?"

Dreams sits up, grabbing Calvin's outstretched hand and shaking it. He looks at Calvin suspiciously.

"Like, what do you want?"

"Oh, Shattered Dreams, this isn't about what I want. This is about what you want! You see, Dreamsy, there's only one thing in this world more powerful than anything else - money. As the next OAOAST Champion, you'll have plenty of opportunities to get money, and you'll also have plenty of opportunities to lose it. However, Dreams, if you join up with Colvid and I, here, you'll be Totally Endorsed - all the best sponsors, all the perks, all the money. You can retire by thirty-five and never have to worry about anything again. All you have to do, Dreams, is win that title - and Totally Endorsed's arms are wide open."

Calvin and Colvid both open their arms on cue, grinning widely as the speak - "The money is YOURS, with TO-TA-LLY... EN-DORSED!"

Dreams looks Colvid over, then Calvin, trying to make sure they're not playing them... and then he extends his hand.

"You can bet on that title, like, being mine and yours at License to totally Pin."

Calvin shakes his hand enthusiastically. "Good man, Dreams - you're not making a mistake."

Calvin taps Colvid on the shoudler, and they both exit, grinning to themselves. As they exit the locker room, Colvid looks at Calvin.

"What if he doesn't win?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you really think Zack Malibu is going to join Totally Endorsed?"

"Don't be a Candie, Colvid. If Zack Malibu can't be the light, then toss me a flashlight, baby - I'll show it to him myself. Let's jet."

Calvin and Colvid walk away as we cut to a commercial break.

[Chanel #99]

We return to HeldDOWN~!, to a shot of Calvin and Colvid, standing outside of Zack Malibu's locker room. Calvin looks at Colvid with a smile.

"You ready?"

"I'm ready, Calvin."

"Then let's roll."

Calvin opens the door to Malibu's locker room, entering it to find Zack sitting there, looking up at them, OAOAST title over his shoulder. Calvin grins as he looks down at Zack, beginning to speak.

"Zack Malibu!"

"...Calvin Szechstein."

"You don't sound too chipper, champ. Don't say anything, though - Colvid and I can but the Malibu back in Zack Malibu."

"...nobody ever took the Malibu out of my name."

"It's an expression, Zachary. You see, Colvid and I have a proposal for you. As our esteemed champion, your revenue is the highest of anybody in the federation's."

"Calvin, I don't do this for money, I do this because I love it."

"Yes, but Zack, you don't understand. Right now, you're making a million a year. A million dollars! Now, that's a lot of money. But if you join up with Totally Endorsed, that amount will triple. No... quadruple! You'll be paid and made, baby, and if you want to be laid too, we can arrange that."

"Calvin... I don't mean to be a jerk, but if you have problems, you really shouldn't tape them to put on heldDown."

"What are you talking about?"

"You said it yourself, your only sponsor right now is Little Caesar's."

"Oh, Zack, Zack, Zack. You don't understand. We're merely in a slump - trust me, if you were in the fold, we'd never have that problem."

"I don't trust you, Calvin."

"That's fine, Zack. Just shake my hand and tell me that you're in after License to Pin, if you still have the belt."

Zack looks up at Calvin, and his outstretched hand... and he shakes it.

"Don't take this as a promise, Calvin."

"It's not a promise, Zack, don't worry. It's an... agreement."

Calvin smiles.

"It's been a pleasure talking to you."

Calvin turns around, walking out of the locker room, Colvid close behind. The two grin as the door closes behind them.

"Calvin, my friend, you are a genius."

"I know, Colvid... and after License to Pin, you and me, we're both going to be rich geniuses. I promise you, Colvid, you didn't make a mistake sticking with me."

Cut back to Michael Cole and The Coach, who are still debating ways to continue the show and not have ratings plummet.

Coach:"No, no I am NOT going to do a dance act in the middle of the ring, Michael."

MC:"Look, I've got my NSYNC CD in the car. People would get a kick out of you doing the Bye Bye Bye hop."

Coach:"You're mocking me, aren't you."

MC:"OK, let's at least stick to the matters at hand. Earlier tonight, Candie became the latest member of Totally Endorsed to get fed up with the way things were going, and suffice to say, I don't blame her."

Coach:"Totally Endorsed got so much so fast, at one point they were the most dominant entity here on HeldDOWN~!, having scored wins over The Boogie Knights, The Dream Machines, Shattered Dreams, and Zack himself."

MC:"Speaking of Zack, as well as Shattered Dreams...how about this recruiting mission? Calvin is trying to score the World Champion for his stable! That's either his most effective plan in a while, or a desperate move by a desperate man."

Coach:"Speaking of desperate men, they'll all have their eyes locked on the TV when that sexy snob Alix Spezia joins us next. I understand she's got something to say to Alison tonight, and we'll find out what it is when we return!"

[Chanel #99]

HeldDOWN~! is back, and just as we return the opening beat of Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" begins, the song marking the entrance of Alix Spezia, personal assistant to the Number One Contender, Shattered Dreams!

MC:"This Sunday should be awesome when Zack and Dreams finally lock up in the ring. Dreams may not have the right attitude, but you cannot deny how far he's come since being the third man on the Dream Machines way back when."

Coach:"Way back when? It was what, 3-4 months ago!"

MC:"Let's just here what Alix has to say, OK?"

Coach:"Backing down, as usual."

Alix:"I don't have much time, so I'll get right to the point. Alison, please join me in the ring so we can have a little one on one."

Coach:"YO~! I'm down for that!"

MC:"She meant to TALK, Coach!"

Coach:"You sure?"

The fans pop loudly, as Alison, somewhat reluctantly, heads down the aisle.

MC:"This could always be a trap. Alison has been used as a target before, people know she's one of Zack's weak points."

Alison walks up the steps and into the ring, Alix Spezia waiting on her.

Alix: "Okay Allison. I called you out for some girl talk. But I have no intention of talking about guys or giving you hair care tips, because quite frankly that would take more time than I have. Allison, I want to talk about you and career in the OAOAST. How do you see yourself? Do you think that you're a strong female role model?"

Allison slowly nods. The fans cheer as well.

Alix: "Then you're wrong! Don't kid yourself by thinking that you're something you're not. You're no role model, you're no strong female character. You've set women in wrestling back thirty years. You're nothing more than a pawn in someone's game. To be tossed aside whenever you out live you usefulness!"

Alison scowls, and shakes her head no. Alix cockily shakes her head yes in response.

Crowd: You suck! You suck!

Alix: "Don't get mad. Just think. You were brought into the OAOAST by Evenflow to make Sandman mad, you were a pawn in that game. When it ended you nothing more than the rope in a cruel game of tug of war with Zack and Evenflow. But that's over. You're shelf life has expired. You're rotten goods. Not even worth being in the bargain bin. You serve no purpose. All you do is wave to the crowd and kiss Zack on the cheek. Any ditz out of the Bronx can do that. Look at the other women in the OAOAST. I'm the personal assistant to the future world champion, Crystal can hold her own against any man, and even Choko can take a beating. Could you have survived the thrashing that my honey bunch and I gave Choko at GAB? I don't think so. Allison, you're just a superficial wannabe. Welcome, to reality."

Alison's jaw has dropped, her eyes a blank state, as she seems to be lost in thought. Alix Spezia drops the microphone on the mat, and walks by Alison, slyly grinning in her face like a Cheshire Cat. The cameras close in on Alison, and it seems like something has struck a nerve in the beautiful one, as we fade out and pace ourselves for another commercial break

[Chanel #99]

MC:"I can't believe the nerve of that...that BITCH!"

Coach:"Man, did she exploit a weakness or what?"

MC:"No, she just made up something in her head, and used it against Alison. You and I, as well as anyone in this company, or any fan for that matter, know the role Alison has played!"

Coach:"Damn right. If anything, that's just going to fuel Zack's adrenaline heading into the title match this Sunday."

MC:"Speaking of which, I understand the Number One Contender is with our GM. Let's cut to them right now."

(The show cuts to a shot of Shattered Dreams talking to Tim Moysey inside the GM's office. Shattered Dreams is sitting in an expensive leather chair and blowing bubbles in Moysey's face)

Shattered Dreams: So Timboroski, have you finally jumped onto the Shattered Dreams band wagon, standing room only? Have you finally accepted moi as the savior of this god forsaken wasteland we call the OAOAST? Have you finally come to the realization, that I'm the man who will revolutionize this industry?

Moysey (popping a bubble): No.

Shattered Dreams: Did you know that in fifty years wrestling historians will mention me in the same breath as Lou Thez, Bruno Smamartino and Chris Jericho, who by the way stole gimmick.

Moysey: Stole your gimmick? I think it's the other way around. Seem to me that your the one.......

Dreams (singing poorly): Can you put your hands my waistline

Want your skin up against mine

Move my hips to the baseline

Let me get mine, you get yours

Hang a please don't disturb sign

Put my back into a sloooow grind

Sending chills up and down my spine

Let me get mine, you get yours

Moysey (bangs his fist on the oak table) What the hell are you doing?

Dreams: Oh, sorry. For some reason, when you talk I just get kind of bored and start singing. It's not your fault. Not at all. I mean, very few peeps can be as entertaining and charismatic as yours truly. I think being the pinnacle of quality entertainment is my super power. Don't fell bad

Moysey: I don't fell bad, I fell confused.

Dreams: Why so? Come sit on my lap and tell Uncle Ed all about it.

Moysey: I'll pass. I'm confused over the fact that you're not taking this seriously at all. You have a shot at the most prestigious championship in the world. You have finally got a title shot after all your bitching and moaning and now you're just pissing it away. You've spent more time at the manicurist than you have in the gym! Have you ever actually watched Zack Malibu wrestle?

Dreams: Yeah, sure. When I tagged with him once or twice.

Moysey: That's just it! You're always the first to leave the arena. You don't even stay to the end of show. I watch your fellow rookies like Crystal and Peter Knight trying to soak up knowledge and then I see someone like you, a little boy who talks on his cellphone during matches become the number one contender and it makes me wonder if I'm in the right industry.

Dreams: C'mon! I've got to use those minutes or else they go to waste. Stupid Verizon. Anyway, I think I'm taking this as serious as I possibly can! I got Allison to dump Barbie! That's good, right?

Moysey: You didn't get Allison to dump Zack, Alix did. You were wandering around the back trying to score weed. Since you've become number one contender you've done nothing but make vague threats, wild accusations and rack up an obscenely large hotel bill.

Dreams: Oh my god, you totally need to cut me some slack. How am I supposed to take a wannabe like Barbie, seriously?

Moysey: A wannabe. More wild accusations. I could've sworn just two months ago you and Zack were hitting the clubs together. What's changed?

Dreams (standing up): How many times do I have to tell you people?! We were only friends because Zack preyed on me like a perverted child molester. It was weird but I didn't mind hanging around him. He seemed like an all right guy. But when the Boogie Nights left me to rot in this hell hole it stripped away all the pre conceived notions I had about this company and I started to see the real Zack Malibu. The Zack Malibu that has to con people, trick them into thinking their his friends, and when he's finally done leeching off their popularity he'll stab them in the back!!

Moysey: Now why would he do that?

Dreams(shouting): Because he has to survive! His entire world is crumbling around him. Wanna know why it's crumbling? Because it's not even real! It's a world made up of marketing gimmicks, cheap ploys and poorly designed T-shirts made in a sweatshop in Mexico. His world's been crumbling for months, I'm just here to finish the job. Zack Malibu, is a washed up has been who will be nothing more than a double bonus question on Jeopardy. He's dead, his world's dead, his relationships are dead and his career is dead. He's the old generation and he's about to be replaced by the leader of the new generation, Shattered Dreams. Once I'm done with Zackie, I'll move on to Caboose, Anglesault and Some Guy. They'll crumble at my feet like the fallen superstars they are. As champion I will remake the OAOAST in my image. The perfect image.

Moysey: Those are some interesting thoughts, Dreams. But for now let's stick with the match on sunday, eh. I can only assume that it would be mighty easy for you to beat some who you have labeled as a has been and a trivia question. Am I correct?

Dreams: Yes! Finally, you're getting it! Welcome to the band wagon, brother!

Moysey (waving off Dreams): Would you claim that you're capable of beating Zack Malibu multiple times?

Dreams: Fuck yeah! Dude, like I so wish that LTP was nothing but me Vs Barbie matches. Because, I'd totally beat his ass six ways from Sunday.

Moysey:............Done.

Dreams: What?

Moysey: You said you that you wanted LTP to feature multiple matches of you fighting Zack. Unfortunately, I can't grant you that request and for that I do apologize. However, I can give you the next best thing. Your match against Zack, will be an Iron Man match. Now if you'll excuse me, I have much work to be done.

(Moysey gets up and walks out of camera shot)

Dreams: Dude! Dude! It was a joke sweetie! A figure of speech! I didn't mean it! I don't want a fucking Iron Man match! You hear me Moron? I don't want it! This is bullshit! You're off the bandwagon, pal! See if I send you the secret decoder ring!

(fade to black)

[Chanel #99]

MC:"How about that one! An IRON MAN MATCH will now headline License To Pin!"

Coach:"BIG props to Tim Moysey for that one! Shattered Dreams is going to have to put his money where his mouth is for once!"

MC:"Man, I wonder what Zack has to say about this! We're...what? OK, I guess we're going to his dressing room now for a word with he and Alison!"

Backstage, in the posh dressing room that she and Zack Malibu have been accustomed to since the days of The In Crowd, Alison is throwing things into a bag. Tears run down her face, and she sniffles, still sobbing after the vicious verbal attack from Alix Spezia.

The door creaks open, and in the doorway stands Zack Malibu, OAOAST World Champion, and Alison's significant other. His mood is more somber than usual.

ZM:"What are you doing?"

Alison:"I'm leaving, Zack."

ZM:"Leaving? Look, what she did wasn't right, and it's certainly not true..."

Alison:"YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU!?"

Zack is shocked by Alison's shout.

ZM:"Get what?"

Alison:"What she said out there, Zack. It IS true. My whole time here, it's always been about my brother overprotecting me to the point of bodily harm. About Ed becoming a headcase and targetting you and I. Zack, you've been great, and I love you, but it's about ME now."

ZM:"I know you need time. After the Pay Per View we can..."

Alison interrupts with a slight laugh.

Alison:"I'm not going to be at the PPV, Zack."

Malibu is now confused, as he eyes his love.

ZM:"Why not? I need you there."

Alison:"Zack, I can't do it anymore. I really don't mean to sound selfish, because you have been so good to me Zack. I love you with all my heart. It's just time to put things in perspective."

ZM:"Ally, I'll help you, just like I always have. You know that I'll stand by you whatever you decide!"

Alison:"Then stand by me now, Zack. Please. I need to do this. I need to sort my life out. I need to see if I can salvage what's become of my family."

Zack is now getting visibly shaken. His heart is breaking on live TV.

ZM:"I know you can't put a timeframe on things, Alison. I just need to know...I need to know if you're coming back."

Alison sighs, and cries a bit more, staring at Zack. She walks over to him, kisses him on the cheek and gives him a huge hug. After her embrace breaks, she picks up her bag, and looks up at him, stroking his cheek.

Alison:"I don't know, Zack."

Zack's head drops, his eyes staring at the floor. Alison takes one last look at him, then exits the room, closing the door quietly behind her. Zack runs his hands through his hair, lifting his head up so that we see his tear soaked face, and then cut to commercial.

[Chanel #99]

Coach and Cole are stunned, sitting in the booth.

MC:"That's not what I expected."

Coach:"Me either."

MC:"God damn...I gotta go see if he's OK. Cover for me."

Coach:"Michael, we're LIVE!"

MC:"Just think of SOMETHING. I'm going to check on my friend."

Cole throws down his headset, and walks off in search of Zack Malibu. Coach looks to his side, and starts rummaging through a pile of tapes.

Coach:"Ah ha! Fans, this Sunday you'll be treated to a revival of old rivalries, as Stephen Joseph, the former Big Poppa Popick, takes on Anglesault and Some Guy in seperate matches! Here now, is a taste of what some of this rivalry was like back in the day, as Stephen Joseph, then known as BPP, does battle with Some Guy and another HeldDOWN~! star, CWM~!"

*Coach pops the tape in*

BPP Vs. CWM/SG

DA PORNO MUSIC~! Hits and CWM and Some Guy make their way to the ring. BPP comes out to no music and no pyro by order of CWM.

Some Guy starts off in the ring with Popick. They tie up and SG grabs a headlock

BPP pushes SG off and grabs a headlock of his own. SG makes the blind tag to CWM and CWM grabs BPP from behind and nails a Overhead belly to back suplex. CWM hits a snap suplex and a neckbreaker before tagging SG back in. SG goes for a piledriver but BPP reverses and hits FINALITY!! CWM runs in and breaks it up with a DDT to Popick. SG tags in CWM and CWM hits a POLLYCUTTER1…2…NO! BPP kicks out! CWM can’t believe it, he picks him up for a conspiracy bomb but BPP reverses it into a facebuster 1…2…NO SG breaks that up and hits a WHEELBARROW SOME-PLEX! SG picks him up and he and CWM hit the REVERSE 3D 1…2…3!!

Winners: CWM and Some Guy

*The cameras quickly cut back to Coach, who is leaning with his feet on the desk, and drinking a Slurpee.*

Cameraman (off camera):"Jonathan!"

Coach drops his slurpee, and quickly puts his feet down.

Coach:"What, that's IT?"

Cameraman:"Yeah, we're live again."

Coach:"My luck, I pick tapes from the clipped show bin. Fans, Michael Cole still isn't back yet, so let's take a break while we get things sorted out. This is going to be a memorable HeldDOWN~! for all the wrong reasons."

[Chanel #99]

We're back, and so is Michael Cole.

Coach:"How is he, Michael?"

MC:"He didn't want to talk, Coach. I can understand why, and I don't blame him. I'm just worried that this is going to cause him to lose focus, which is not something he can afford 3 days before a title match of this caliber."

Coach:"Let's just try to get through this and not dwell on it ourselves. License To Pin is 3 days away, and we've got quite a bit going on. No thanks to The Goblin and Black Widow, my girl Crystal is on the injured list, and has to vacate the 24/7 Title. At License To Pin, there is an Open Invitation to enter the 24/7 Battle Royal. First pinfall wins the belt, but you have to make it out of the arena with the belt, which means the title could change hands once, twice, twenty times!"

MC:"Hey, Crash Holly is looking for work. Maybe he'll show!"

Coach:"We've also got the HUGE X Title match featuring Ragdoll vs. K Money, Title vs. Career, brother vs. brother."

MC:"That'll be huge as well. Those two are teaming tonight as well, let's not overlook that scenario either!"

Coach:"That's right! Shit, we DO have a match to air! Can we go to it now?"

MC:"*takes a deep breath* It has been a wild night, but let's do this, Coach!"

Coach:"About damn time!"

The cameras cut to the ring for, FINALLY, a live match for tonight's show~!

Cole:This should be a great match.

Coach:Yes we got Black Label against Mad Matt and Axel. These four wrestlers had a classic four way X-Division Match Last Week. Tonight they pair off for a tag team match.

Cole:That was the match that Mad Matt thought he finally had his revenge on Ragdoll by scoring a pin but K Money took it out from him.

Coach:Mad Matt is out for blood. The real question is can Black Label get along.

Cole:This Sunday they meet. One will leave after that show.

"Kickstart My Heart" by Motley Crue plays and out comes K Money with Josie. K Money is making his way down the ring.

Coach:This doesn't look good for tag team unity. K Money and Ragdoll are making seperate entrances.

Cole:Well they ARE fighting in a match at License to Pin.

"Voodoo Child" by Stevie Ray Vaughn plays and out comes Ragdoll with Melanie. Ragdoll joins his brother inside the ring.

"Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys plays and out comes Axel through the crowd. He stops by the guardrail. He then enters the ring.

The lights go out and the purple spotlight goes up. The lights on the Angle Tron spell M-A-D M-A-T-T. We see Mad Matt standing on the entry way with a towel over his head. Black Label run down and attempt to attack Mad Matt but it ISN'T Mad Matt. It is a bald stagehand. Mad Matt now runs out from the crowd and hits both members of Black Label with a crossbody.

Coach:Mad Matt takes out both members of Black Label with that crossbody. Axel runs up the ramp to join the fight.

Axel and K Money are trading punches while Mad Matt smashes Ragdoll's head into the barricade. Mad Matt throws Ragdoll into the ring. Mad Matt pounds Ragdoll with punches.

Cole:Mad Matt has gone psycho.

Coach:Ya think.

Out comes the referee squad and they pull this apart. We are going to try and get a tag team match going right.

Finally after a couple of minutes we are ready to start this tag team match. Ragdoll and Mad Matt will start out this match. Ragdoll does not look too pleased with this arrangement. Mad Matt goes after Ragdoll but Ragdoll ducks. Ragdoll with a dropkick to Mad Matt. Ragdoll now picks up Mad Matt and chops him away. Mad Matt spins around Ragdoll and fires some chops of his own. Mad Matt whips Ragdoll into the ropes and flying headscissors.

Cole:That was a vicious move. Very X-Division like.

Coach:It was just a flying headscissors Michael. Mad Matt has other more impressive moves in his offense.

Mad Matt now picks up Ragdoll and backbreaker. He tags in Axel. Mad Matt holds on the backbreaker while Axel flies off the top rope and crushes Ragdoll with a Top Rope Legdrop while he was draped over the knee of Mad Matt. Ragdoll is hurt and Axel is going into the cover. One......Two.......K Money pulls Axel off.

Cole:K Money makes the stage. He almost acts like it isn't worth his time.

Cole:There is some tension between these two because they are facing this Sunday you know. Oh hi Mad Matt.

Mad Matt:Cole, you still here. Anyway I am just commentating for this tag team match when I am not in. Axel picks up Ragdoll.

Axel with a gutwrench suplex to Ragdoll. Axel now with an elbowdrop. Axel with a cover hooking the leg. One.....Two.....Kickout. Axel picks up Ragdoll and Axel with a kick. Axel with another kick. Axel now whips Ragdoll up and Axel with a spinebuster. Ragdoll was drilled. Axel now goes into the Axe Grinder. He is trying for a submission.

Mad Matt:This is a deadly submission move. DEADLY. Axel is cranking on this hold. Axel pulls back on the hold.

Cole:Ragdoll is struggling in this hold. Ragdoll is scratching and pulling towards the ropes.

Coach:K Money is in the ring and pulls off Axel. K Money now goes back to the corner.

Axel now picks up Ragdoll but Ragdoll with a low blow. Ragdoll now with a DDT to Axel. Ragdoll now tags in K Money. K Money with a flying bodypress to Axel. K Money with a cover hooking the leg. One.....Two.....Kickout. K Money picks up Axel and K Money now with an inverted DDT. K Money climbs to the top rope. K Money with a Moonsault. K Money with a cover hooking the leg. One.......Two......Kickout. K Money picks up Axel and K Money whips up Axel but K Money ducks the head. Axel with a sunset flip. One......Two......Thr....kickout.

Cole:Axel nearly gets a pin. He could have scored a quick pin on K Money.

Coach:That quickness is what could get him a pin over Brock Ausstin at Lincense to Pin. Any predictions for that match Mad Matt.

Mad Matt:Well I think Axel can pull it out. After all Brock Ausstin is not a great overall wrestler. He just tries to pound you. You need technical and high flying wrestling skills in this day and age.

K Money meanwhile has hit a spinning wheel kick during that commentary. K Money picks up Axel and K Money slaps him. What cockiness show by K Money? K Money now picks up Axel and whips him into the ropes. K Money goes for a rana but Axel drops him with a sitout power bomb. Axel is starting to crawl towards the corner.

Mad Matt:Looks like my partner wants a hot tag. I got to go.

Coach:Mad Matt bailing out of the announcers table. He wants in as he leans over the top rope ready for a tag.

Cole:Can Axel make it in time? K Money looks closer to Ragdoll.

K Money does indeed make the tag to Ragdoll. Ragdoll grabs the ankle of Axel. Axel is reaching and Axel kicks Ragdoll off. Hot tag to Mad Matt. Mad Matt enters the ring with a missile dropkick on Ragdoll. Mad Matt now pounds away with forearms. Mad Matt whips Ragdoll into the ropes and Mad Matt with a flying headscissors. K Money enters the ring but Mad Matt ducks and Mad Matt with a neckbreaker to K Money. Mad Matt now is going to the top rope. Ragdoll staggers to his feet and Mad Matt hits the Dragon Rana on Ragdoll.

Cole:Mad Matt hits a move off of the top rope. That was innovative offense.

Coach:Indeed. Mad Matt keeps pulling out these moves. He hits that high flying move and he is going for the cover.

One.......Two.......K Money pulls off Mad Matt. Mad Matt with a kick to K Money. Mad Matt now chops K Money over the top rope. Mad Matt now bounces off the ropes. Mad Matt with a tope no K Money ducks down. Mad Matt with a fake. Mad Matt now hops to the top rope and hits a Split Legged Asai Moonsault.

Cole:I know we have seen Mad Matt use that move before but it still is impressive. It takes a great deal of flexibilty.

Coach:Indeed it does. Keep your eye on Ragdoll however.

Ragdoll is on the top rope and Ragdoll with a SHOOTING STAR PLANCHA to Mad Matt. Ragdoll knocks down Mad Matt with that move. That was the most impressive move in this match so far. Ragdoll now throws Mad Matt back into the ring. Mad Matt is limp and Ragdoll slides in for the cover. One......Two........Thr.....shoulder up.

Cole:Mad Matt is still in this one. He was wiped out by that move but he had enough to get the shoulder up.

Ragdoll now picks up Mad Matt and Ragdoll whips him into the ropes. Ragdoll with a dropkick to Mad Matt. Both feet bouncing off of the chest of Mad Matt. Ragdoll with a backflip splash. Ragdoll with a cover hooking the leg. One.......Two.......Thr.......shoulder up. Ragdoll now picks up Mad Matt and Ragdoll with a German Suplex. Ragdoll now doesn't go for the cover. Ragdoll rams Mad Matt headfirst into the buckles.

Cole:It looks like we are going to have a repeat of June 19th. Ragdoll is targeting the head of Mad Matt.

Coach:This time the career of Mad Matt might be ended. He said himself he couldn't take too many more shots to the head.

Cole:How many is too many more?

Coach:Ragdoll looks willing to test that.

Ragdoll now picks up Mad Matt and smacks him out with the White Label. Mad Matt was drilled down to the canvas. Ragdoll now with a legdrop to Mad Matt. Ragdoll picks up Mad Matt. Ragdoll is going for a piledriver. This will end his career for sure. Thankfully Mad Matt backdrops out of it. Mad Matt is down but Ragdoll is getting back up. Ragdoll steps on the back of the head of Mad Matt. Ragdoll now picks up Mad Matt and whips him into the ropes. Ragdoll with another White Label. Mad Matt is dead weight and he is tagging in K Money to finish the job by the looks of it. K Money now hooks Mad Matt and brings him down on his head with a brainbuster. This should do it. One.......Two.......Thr......Axel breaks up the pin with a double axehandle.

Coach:Axel saved the day right there Michael. If he didn't, Mad Matt would have most likely have been pinned.

Cole:Mad Matt could be a blow to the head or two away from his career ending.

K Money now picks up Mad Matt. K Money now hooks Mad Matt but Mad Matt with a small package. Mad Matt was playing possum. One......Two......Kickout.K Money with a kick to the head. K Money now kicks Mad Matt into the gut. K Money hooks Mad Matt. K Money is going for the Show Stopper but Mad Matt trips up K Money. Mad Matt sends K Money flying into the ringpost with a slingshot. Mad Matt flops facefirst onto the canvas.

Cole:The post saved K Money from landing hard on the outside.

Coach:Saved by the post. He could have been knocked out by the post.

Cole:Anyway Mad Matt is slowly crawling towards his corner.

Coach:Oh good, Mad Matt gets to join us for commentary.

Cole:I don't think Mad Matt will be doing any commentary in his condition, Coach.

Coach:Well excuse me.

Ragdoll is in and Mad Matt tags in Axel. Axel is in fists of fire. Axel with a lariat to Ragdoll. Axel with a lariat to K Money. Axel now with a STO to Ragdoll. Axel now with a kick to K Money knocking him to the outside. Axel with a cover hooking the leg. One.....Two......Kickout. Axel picks up Ragdoll and Axel lifts him up. Axel holds up Ragdoll and drills him with a sitout power bomb. Axel with a cover hooking the leg. One......Two.....Kickout. Axel now picks up Ragdoll and hits him with the Axel Slam.

Coach:Axel Slam. This should do it. Axel is going for a cover.

One......Two.......Thr......K Money attempts to break up the cover with a Moonsault but Axel moves and Ragdoll gets hit. Axel now with a kick to the midsection. Axel with with a T-Bone Suplex on K Money. Mad Matt now enters the ring and throws K Money to the outside. Mad Matt bounces off the ropes and Mad Matt hits a 450 Plancha taking out K Money.

Cole:That was....that....not another new move.

Coach:It was Michael. Another new move by Mad Matt. How many moves does he have tucked in his offense, I wonder?

Axel now is slugging it out with Ragdoll into the ring. Axel wins the slugfest. Axel now with a belly to back suplex on Ragdoll. Axel goes up top and Axel goes for a Top Rope Legdrop. Axel misses. Axel hits canvas. Ragdoll now with the dropkick on Axel as he gets up. Ragdoll now is looking for the tag but K Money is down on the floor. Axel meanwhile lariats Ragdoll down and tags in Mad Matt, who has returned to his corner just a few seconds earlier.

Cole:Mad Matt is in. He can feel it. His revenge is TONIGHT.

Mad Matt enters the ring and hammers Ragdoll with punches. Mad Matt with a big roundhouse right knocking Ragdoll down. Mad Matt whips Ragdoll into the ropes and Ragdoll is knocked down with the roaring elbow. Mad Matt with a cover. One.....Two....Kickout. Mad Matt now picks up Ragdoll and goes for the Peoria Plunge but Ragdoll slides down the back. Mad Matt forearms Ragdoll down to the canvas. K Money is in and Mad Matt punches him. Ragdoll holds Mad Matt. K Money goes for a big punch but Mad Matt ducks and Ragdoll gets hit. Ragdoll pops up and he shoves K Money. K Money shoves back. Axel and Mad Matt take down Black Label with stereo rollups. Mad Matt to Ragdoll and Axel to K Money. One.......Two........Thr.....double kickout. The referee gets knocked down in the confusion

Coach:Mad Matt and Axel almost surprised Black Label to get the pin in a middle of an arguement.

Axel charges at K Money but gets backdropped to the outside. K Money now has a steel chair.

Cole:K Money has a chair. What is he going to do with it?

Coach:He is going to sit down on it Michael. No, he is going to waffle someone with it.

Ragdoll and Mad Matt are trading punches. Ragdoll now with a dropkick to the knee. Ragdoll looks to be preparing for the Devil Doll and he bounces off the ropes but K Money steps right in front of him. K Money raises the chair. He looks to hit Mad Matt but Ragdoll spins K Money around. Ragdoll shoves K Money. K Money raises the chair and brings it down on the head. The chair is dented.

Cole:K Money hit his own tag team partner. K Money has wiped out Ragdoll.

Coach:K Money raises the chair again and brings it down on the back of Mad Matt.

K Money now disposes of the evidence. K Money now is going back to his corner. He is stretching out his hand for a tag from Ragdoll like nothing happened. Axel is still down on the floor. He took a nasty spill off of that backdrop. Ragdoll is crawling over the corner. He is disoriented. He took a sick shot to the head with that chair. Ragdoll is a few inches away but K Money drops off the ring apron and raises his hands in the air. K Money now heads back to the lockeroom.

Cole:That no good....rotten. He is walking away.

Coach:K Money is walking away from his partner.

Ragdoll pulls himself in his corner and he sees his partner is not there. K Money is standing on the top of the stage and Ragdoll is reaching out for the tag but K Money just gives Ragdoll a middle finger. Mad Matt meanwhile kips up from behind Ragdoll. Mad Matt taps Ragdoll on the shoulder and Ragdoll spins around. He looks like he has seen a ghost. He forgot about Mad Matt during this Black Label breakdown. Ragdoll charges Mad Matt but Mad Matt ducks. Mad Matt with a knee to the back. Mad Matt picks up Ragdoll and drills him with a Vertical Drop Reverse DDT. Mad Matt yells out:"Thats the Shadow of Madness, baby."

Cole:Mad Matt with a vicious move. He calls that move the Shadow of Madness.

Coach:He damn near broke Ragdoll's neck with the Shadow of Madness.

Mad Matt with a cover hooking the leg. One, Two, Three. Mad Matt has done it. Mad Matt has pinned Ragdoll.

Cole:Mad Matt has scored the pin over Ragdoll. K Money walks out and Mad Matt scores the pin.

Coach:This Sunday Ragdoll vs K Money. The Retirement Match. Mad Matt gets his hand raised and Axel joins him to celebrate this win. Axel vs Brock Ausstin this Sunday as well.

[Chanel #99]

MC:"That match saved the show, IMO."

Coach:"Damn skippy! Mad Matt gets his revenge, more tension building for this Sunday's X Title match. Those kids really delivered tonight. Big props to all of them!"

MC:"We've also gotten confirmation that the match we were supposed to have tonight featuring Caboose and CWM vs. Hex Machina and Naz Mistry will happen THIS SUNDAY~!"

Coach:"Caboose and Hex have gone flat out brutal at PPV's before. Throw in Naz and the drunken lumberjack, and you've got the makings of a classic brawl right there!"

MC:"Well folks, that's it for tonight. Those of you who have stuck with us throughout this...odd show, we thank you, and we'll see you at License To Pin, this Sunday live on Pay Per View! For The Coach, I'm..."

"Fighter" hits, interrupting Michael's closing speech.

Coach:"Are you kidding? He's stopping us from closing the show!"

MC:"What a primadonna! He's been all over the show tonight already!"

Dreams climbs into the ring, and calls for the microphone. The announcer seems perplexed, as they thought that it was time to pack it in, but Dreams has other intentions.

SD:"People, this is just a friendly reminder from moi to tune in this Sunday, when I beat Malibu Barbie's ass again and again and again. In fact, right now, I'm going to come out and take bets on how many falls you think I'm going to beat him by! Now, I say at LEAST 6. Do I hear 7? 8? C'mon, pony up, place your bets!"

Shattered Dreams drops the mic, and starts walking around ringside, swiping a baseball cap off a youngster, attempting to use it as a collection basket. One fan flips Dreams off, and he mistakes him for saying that Dreams would win by one fall!

Dreams continues to coax the crowd into gambling on the Iron Man match, but no one is having it. Finally, the crowd ROARS as Zack Malibu comes running down the aisle after Shattered Dreams!

MC:"He's back!"

Coach:"There's not going to be a PPV match. Dreams is going to be KILLED!"

Dreams runs from Zack around ringside, and then slides into the ring. Zack does so as well, but Dreams pounces on him, stomping him and then hitting him with wild forearms. Zack powers up, and he starts wailing away on Shattered Dreams, staggering the showoff, then pausing to raise his fist before flooring him with a haymaker punch! Alix Spezia runs out and slides into the ring behind Zack, jumping up on his back in an effort to pull him away, and she gets snapmared over his shoulder! Alix rolls away from Zack, but now he stalks HER, visibly upset by the events of earlier tonight. Zack stands over her, Alix cowering away from the World Champion...AND HE GETS NAILED WITH A YAKUZA KICK TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD~!

Dreams came bursting out of the corner with that one, flooring Zack thanks to Alix's distraction. Dreams picks him up, hooking one leg Fisherman style, and nails THE RODEO DRIVER~!

MC:"What an assh..."

Coach:"Yo! Easy, MC!"

Dreams looks down on Zack, and helps Alix to her feet. Dreams picks up the mic, and after catching his breath, utters these words:

SD:"Here lies Zack Malibu, a broken, defeated man. An old saying states that The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh away. Well Zacky-poo, I am A GOD, and this Sunday I'll give you the beating of your life, and take the one thing you have left...The OAOAST World Championship!"

Dreams throws the mic down on Zack's chest, and poses above his fallen body with Alix, as garbage starts to fill the ring. "Fighter" cues up again, and Dreams jumps up on the turnbuckles, sneering to the crowd, as the cameras close in on the champion, laid out in the middle of the ring.

*FADE OUT*

[Chanel #99]

PROPS:

Calvin

Dreams

Mad Matt

Zack Malibu

Whoever wrote the oldass skits

CWM, since you're match didn't take place, I didn't use the promo. I still saved it though (in case you didn't) for use on the PPV where your match will happen.