OAOAST Anglepalooza 2009

[Chanel #99]

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *

TV 14
L, V

PRESENTED IN HD

Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight.

THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egmMMzt28g8

The opening scene is that of a pristine Midwestern suburb, ripped right out of Pleasnatville or Leave It To Beaver. Stepping outside the door to greet the morning sunshine is ThunderKid. Wearing a tuorquoise blue robe and Kermit the frog slippers, he smiles gingerly as he walks past his well manicured front lawn to grab his morning paper. But as he reaches down to start his morning routine he’s sadistically ran over by a Dodge Neon driven by his own stable mate Alfdogg.

To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard
Call me morbid, or absurd
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

Fresh off his inexplicable murder of his one time friend, Alfdogg pulls his Dodge Neon into the parking lot of an Indianapolis Home Depot. He fails to spot a shadowy figure quickly approaching him with his hand tucked into his pocket. By the time Alf notices this unusual character we see that its Landon Maddix. Alf greets Landon with a bright and cheery smile. But, Landon returns the gesture with a knife to the stomach. He pays Alf not a second’s glance as he walks away from his dying OAOAST coworker.

To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard
Call me morbid, or absurd,
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

Now that Alfdogg has been removed from the gene pool of life, Landon is free to patrol the aisles ways of Home Depot for Winnie The Pooh themed lamp shades. But from out of nowhere Faqu launches through the air with a roar at his leader. The impact knocks the unfortunate Spaniard off his feet and a pitchfork finishes the bloody job.

To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard
Call me morbid, or absurd,
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

With blood soaked pitchfork in hand Faqu exits the massive hardware store. Though the weapon easily feel Maddix it does little protect Faqu from Ragdoll who casually walks behind him and leaves an axe in his back. Giving a simple, innocent smirk, Ragdoll retrieves the discarded pitchfork and continues his walk to the parking lot.

When I go fishing for the words
I am wishing you would say to me
I'm really only praying that
The words you'll soon be saying
Might betray, the way you feel about me

Ragdoll makes it only past the first row of cars before the Christ Air Express and James Cone conspire to leave him in a pool of his own blood in drive by shooting.

But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

After their heinous and unexpected slaying of Ragdoll the three perpetrators immediately turn on each other. They brandish pistols and the car becomes bright with hellish gunfire that sends the car spinning into traffic. There are several near misses from motorists that are frightened out of their wits. However, a bus driven by Spencer Reiger shows zero inclination to avoid the car full of his fellows OAOASTers. The bus barrels into the car, sending it up in flames and destroying everyone within it. Through the fiery wreckage, Spencer smiles the chaos he’s created.

EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF
THE LETHAL RUMBLE




From the opening we fade into an arena that’s jam packed with OAOAST Marks eager to see sports and entertainment’s biggest January event. They stand on their feet, waving their signs and chanting the names of their favorite OAOAST stars. The gigantic video screens in the shape of Gotham City that make up the entry way feature the graphics of the various hotly anticipated contest on tap tonight.

COLE
Folks, welcome to Anglepalooza! The biggest pay per view extravaganza of the New Year is even bigger this year with the most unpredictable Lethal Rumble field in history. Pundits haven't reached a consensues on who could go home with the Anglemania mainevent title shot. Some like Bohemoth, some like Reject and some see a darkhorse like Faqu winning the thing. Either way we've got one heck of a show!

COACH
Plus the Beatles are performing!

COLE
No they aren't.

COACH
I have a Kazoo and I know the chorus to as my guitar gently weeps. The OAOAST Marks are stupid they won't know the difference. Some people tell me I look quite a bit like John Lennon.



“I WANT CANDIE!”

The arena lights drop and Melanie C’s “I want Candie” " hits the PA system. A deep red hue settles on the AP set and a series of pyro sparks go off in front of it, starting from opposite ends of the stage and converging in front of the entrance. Suddenly, a stream of red spotlights flood the arena and begin roaming the crowd as on stage, Candie emerges through a thick cloud of smoke. She gets a good pop from the crowd as she walks out to the top of the ramp and pauses, taking in the crowd's reaction. Candie a inhales deeply as she looks to her left, then to her right, then down at her feet as she places both hands on her head and begins to run them through her blood red hair. After frizzing her hair up, she tosses it back and thrusts her arms into the air...

*BOOOOOM...BOOOOOM...BOOOOOOOM...BOOOOOOOOOM...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!*

...and more pyro sparks begin to fire down from the rafters behind her. She flashes an angelic smile into the crowd before starting down the ramp to ringside.

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall and has a 15-minute time limit. Currently on her way to the ring, hailing from Providence, Rhode Island, she represents the In Crowd…she is CANDIEEEEEEEE!

COLE
We kick things off with a very personal contest between Candie and Allison! Candie coming out of retirement and leaving her happy home life to protect the man she loves.

COACH
Yo, if you need your baby’s mama to get your back, you ain’t much of a man at all. Its disgusting to see Zack drag his family in to this because he can’t handle The Enterprise on his own. You in a stable with the world champion and the biggest dude on the roster, and you gotta get a housewive to handle yo business. That’s like the Steelers signing a retarded 3rd stringer on a Pop Warner team to back up Big Ben.

She continues down the ramp, tagging the hands of a few ringside fans before sliding under the bottom rope and jogging over to a far turnbuckle. She climbs to the second rope and pumps her fist into the air, eliciting another pop from the crowd as the ring is practically engulfed in a bevy of camera flashes. After a few seconds of playing to the crowd, Candie hops down from the buckle and looks down to the asile.

The opening notes of "Money Talks” blast through the loud speakers, and the fans waste no time showing their disapproval for the oncoming superstar. Allison, clad in white pants and black tanktop, steps onto the stage with a smug look stretched across her face.

COLE
I personally never thought we’d see Allison again, but Moneymaker’s dirty tricks and dirty money have brought her back to torment Zack Malibu. But, tonight she reaps what she has sewn. At least I hope so.

BUFFER
And the opponent, hailing from Hartford, Connecticut, she represents The Enterprise….ALISSSSSOOOOON!

Allison stands on the ramp for several moments, looking out at the crowd that so vehemently despises her. She dismisses them with a shrug of her shoulders and continues to the ring. Once inside the squared circle she shoots Candie a look that could stop an Army Batallion dead in its tracks. But, Candie isn’t intimidated and merely returns the angered glare.

Right as the bell rings, Candie launches herself forward at Allison. But as soon as Mrs.Malibu nears, Allison fires a kick her way and deftly swats Candie away. Candie  isn’t dissuaded by the near miss and again lunges for her hubbie’s former love. But Allison again uses her tennis shoe to swat Candie away. A slight chant of "CANDIE, CANDIE" can be heard from the right side of the arena which does not sit too well with Allison. She turns around to order the audience to be silent. But taking her eye off of Candie proves to be fatal as the feisty Rhode Islander bulldogs her to the ground. Allison immediately tries to roll away from Candie, but there’s little escape from the torrent of punches the diva throws against her head.

COLE
Candie is going to town! That a girl!

COACH
That a girl? What kind of way is this to settle disputes? Did Jennifer Aniston come onto the set of Changeling and just bulldog Angelina Jolie for no reason?

After suffering through a seemingly endless wave of punches, Allison manages to find her way back to her feet. However, she can’t find any escape from Candie as the Rhode Islander grabs her by her hair and flings her to the canavs. Allison hits the rock hard mat with a hard thud and screams in agony. Her cries are music to Candie’s ears and she draws out even more with vicious stomps to Allison’s back.

COLE
I don’t think Allison came prepared to deal with someone as angry as Candie!

Allison no longer has the will or the desire to continue the fight. Thus acting out of sheer desperation, she boots Candie away with a kick to the stomach. Candie staggers backwards with her hands falling to her hurt midsection. This moment of weakness permits Allison the opportunity to slide out the ring to catch her breath. The fans in the front row aren’t happy with this act of cowardice and let Allison know it with insulting taunts. Soon the rest of the area is joining in in belitting Allison for her less than courageous bheavoir.

COACH
Are these people crazy? They want her to step back in the ring with a woman who’s clearly out of her mind!

Candie decides to take the fight to her unwilling opponent. She builds up speed off the ropes, and then dazzles the sold out fanbase by diving onto Allison with a body press!

COLE
Oh my!

Candie pops back up to give high fives to several fans in the front row. Once, she’s done celebrating with the crowd she picks Allison off the canvas and hurls her back into the ring. Although, dizzied Allison is able to get to her feet surprisingly quickly.  Out of the corner of her eye she spots Candie charging at her with a shoulder block. She barely sidesteps the Rhode Islander and manages to shove her away. This leads Candie to crash stomach first into the ring posts.

“OOOOOOH!” is the audience’s reaction as Candie grimaces from her air being ripped away. Allison is quick to pounce on her and brings her down with a side Russian leg sweep into a pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

Candie kicksout and the fans are thrilled. She gets to her feet under her own power, but is thrown under assault by slaps from Allison. Leaving Candie weak on her feet, Allison heads to the ropes.  She bounces back and puts Candie down with a diving lariat! A pinfall follows….

ONE

TWO!

Once again, Candie kicks out!

COLE
You just know Candie isn’t going to let this match slip away. She’s going to do everything it takes to get the win.
 
A few fans at ringside begin clapping in unison in an effort to rally Candie as the confident Allison-who's pacing the ring with an extra bounce in her step after the first exchange--motions for her to rise. A scowl forms on Candie’s face as she rises to meet her foe, only to be caught with a vicious kick right to the stomach. Allison promptly coils her arom around Candie’s head in a front facelock and calls for a DDT!

COACH
Here it comes!

Candie violently shoves Allison away, breaking the hold with impressive strength. Allison frowns at Candie’s escape and charges forward to make her ex’s love pay for the counter. But she runs herself right into a powerful School’s Out! Down goes Allison as a pop comes down from every corner of the arena.

COLE
It runs in the family! School’s Out and Allison is out!

Candie smiles broadly as she hooks Allison’s leg for a decisive pinfall…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

“YEAAAAAA!”

The referee helps Candie to her feet and raises her hand in victory. Candie boasts a wide grin, that’s full of relief and satisfaction at having gotten revenge on Allison.

COLE
She got it! What a win! What an emotional heartfelt victory for Candie here at Anglepalooza! Allison tried so hard to ruin Zack Malibu’s good name, but the love of his life has defended it in awesome fashion.

COACH
None of that is gonna matter when Moneymaker bodies Malibu tonight in the Survive or Surrender match.  The Malibu family won this battle but The Enterprise is gonna win the war!

BACKSTAGE:

Hule Bartowski waits just outside of the “Gorilla” position. Dressed in his NEW ring gear – a black leather suit with a white X on the front, along with his now customary arm sling. He’s obviously trying to stay pumped and focused for what’s to come.

The crowd begins to BUZZ, then –

ZACK MALIBU (in a very good mood, obv) walks up from behind.

The crowd goes INSANE!

Hule and Zack size each other up for a second.

HULE: Sup?

ZACK: Sup?

Hulie raises a hand… not to HIT, but for DAP! Zack takes it in a Bro embrace.

ZACK: Just wanted to wish you luck. And give some advice.

HULE: I’m all ears.

ZACK: I’ve met up with Phoenix once or twice. Don’t let his disappearances and lack of ring time over the last few years fool you. He’s got the goods. If he’s trained this Die Hard guy, then he’s gonna be a handful, no matter how… ridiculous… he seems to be. Stay focused, watch him close, do what you do –

Zack pokes a finger at Hule’s injured shoulder

ZACK: - don’t be stupid, and you’ll be fine.

Hule looks at his shoulder.

He looks at Zack.

He smiles, and offers a hand. Zack takes it with a smile and a nod.

HULE: Word. Thanks, Zack. And good luck yourself, tonight.

Zack winks at the camera and disappears back the way he came.


February 26th, 2009
Celtic Spectacular - Boston, MA
The Luck Of The Irish Runs Out

[Chanel #99]

We cut backstage where a CONVERTIBLE driven by DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY (Inspector Nerdly riding shotgun and poor CPA stuck in the back) escorts a LIMO inside.

CPA
Man, with a brother in the White House I thought days like this were over.

INSPECTOR NERDLY
You snooze you lose.

BOSLEY
The lady’s right, buddy. You got plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead. That’s why the AMOG never falls asleep; sleep falls to me!

CPA


INSPECTOR NERDLY
That's...uh...that's deep. Only time Papa Nerdly got that deep was when he was planting his seed in a woman's garden.

The motorcade stops and V.I.C.E. open the door for THEODORE MONEYMAKER.  

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
With that kind of entrance you’d have thought the President was showing up.

COACH
(laughs)
Not even the President has the kind of power Theodore Moneymaker does, Cole.

CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and MS. DECENZO greet their employer. Then a stagehand arrives with a GIFT BOX. Before he can approach Moneymaker he’s stopped by V.I.C.E. and given a strip search. For real, they strip him down right then and there.

INSPECTOR NERDLY
(holding box)
What is this?

STAGEHAND
A present, miss.

INSPECTOR NERDLY
I can see that, Sherlock. What I want to know is who’s it from?

STAGEHAND
Dunno. It was delivered FedEx.

INSPECTOR NERDLY
Well it’s not ticking, so that‘s good. But just to se safe, open it for us.

STAGEHAND


INSPECTOR NERDLY
We don’t have all night.

LORELEI
I like this girl's style.

The stagehand opens the box and pulls out a DECAPITATED ANGLE AWARD. Theodore Moneymaker’s Angle Award! (***)

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

MONEYMAKER
:firedevil:

CPA shoves the stagehand away as Inspector Nerdly reads a NOTE hanging from the Angle’s neck.

INSPECTOR NERDLY
“Misery loves company.” Yep, that confirms it. We’re dealing with a total whack job.  

Bosley whips out his telescopic baton.

BOSLEY
I can’t wait to whack that punk ass bitch with this!

CPA
Don’t worry, boss. We’ll get this sick fuck for you.

MONEYMAKER
You guys handle this. I got a big money match to worry about. I promise you this, though: Whoever’s trying to get a good laugh at my expense won’t be doing so when it’s all said and done. You can put that in the bank!

[Chanel #99]

COLE
Up next, the Women's Title on the line! Let's go to the ring.

Fallout Boy's cover of "Beat It" powers through the arena and the OAOAST's most searched for wrestler on Yahoo of 2008... is not here. But the OAOAST wrestler who's done the most searches on Yahoo in 2008 is! Melody Nerdly jogs out through the curtains, hitting a triumphant pose on the stage as the multi-coloured strobe lights freak out around her like something from an Anime cartoon. With seizures caused around the world Melody makes her way to the ring with a skip in her step.

BUFFER
This contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger. Eminating from the Fortress Of Nerdlytude... she is "PLAYER ONE"... MMMMEEEEELLLLLLLLLLOOOOODDYYYYYYY... NNEEEEEERRRRRRRDDLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

Melody enters the ring and adopts both a corner and a fighting stance.

"PLAY - ER ONE!"
"PLAY - ER ONE!"
"PLAY - ER ONE!"
"PLAY - ER ONE!"

COLE
Looks like Melody isn't the only one who played WWF Warzone.

COACH
WW-WTF!? Oh man you're gonna get sued now. You gonna get Panda raped boy!

COLE
...sorry Vince!


"Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy)
And you don’t care what they say
See, every time you turn around
They screamin' your name

Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy)
And you don’t care what they say
See, every time you turn around
They screamin' your name"

The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits. The Women's Champion bounds through the entrance way with her usual youthful exuberance, but Jade's face falls slightly at the sight of her opponent. Jade unstraps the title belt from around her waist and slings it over her shoulder before heading down the aisle. With every hand slapped in support, Jade's eyes drift towards Melody, as if trying to make a point. Whatever point that is apparantly isn't lost as Melody seems to scowl.

BUFFER
And ladies and gentlemen, introducing the opponent. Now residing in Los Angeles, California... she is the reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJAAAAAAADDEEEEE... RRROOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

Jade goes a little further around the crowd, before sliding in underneath the bottom rope on the far side from the hard cam. She climbs the turnbuckles and smiles a more confident and contented smile than we're accustomed to seeing from her.

COLE
Jade riding on a wave of momentum, now nearing five months as Women's Champion, recipient of numerous Angle Awards...

COACH
...for what that's worth...

COLE
...and slowly but surely settling in her LA life. But the question and the issue between these two friends is whether that wave of momentum has gone to that shy young lady's head or not. Melody seems to think so, where-as Jade puts it down to jealously on Melody's part. And this week on OAOAST.com, we advised our OAOAST Marks to text in and have their say in our exclusive text vote.


HAS JADE CHANGED, OR IS MELODY JUST JEALOUS?
TEXT OAOASTJADE OR OAOASTMELODY

RESULT:

ROUGHLY $30,000 PROFIT FROM TEXTS RECIEVED

COLE
And on behalf of the OAOAST and our accountants we thank everyone who participated.

No longer smiling, Jade hands over the Women's Championship and tries to psyche herself up. Referee Charles Robinson shows the belt to Melody, who drops to one knee and places a hand on the belt, head down, as if expecting to gain some kind of super-powers from it.


*DINGDINGDING!*

The two girls don't move at the sound of the bell, stuck staring at each other from opposite corners.

COLE
No doubt about it, Jade has proven herself inside the ring as Women's Champion. And Melody has made a remarkable improvement from her work-shy beginnings. But this may not resemble much of a wrestling match, this could get very catty, shall we say.

COACH
Except neither of these kitties have got much in the way of claws. At least not from out behind a computer screen.

Eventually the girls walk towards each other with scowls on their faces. Melody patronises Jade, by bowing and curtseying to her "highness". Yelling at her to "knock it off", Jade SHOVES Melody in the chest, knocking her on her butt! Ooohs echo around the arena as Melody dusts herself off and MIMES CUTTING OFF HER HEAD ALA HEROES' SYLAR!

COACH
See. Nerdiest threat ever.

Jade momentarily checks her forehead for any blood, before realising how stupid she must look. Jade then lashes out and grabs Melody by her hair. Instinctively Melody does the same and before you know it, the girls both have two handfuls of each other's locks and are tussling back and forth trying to scalp each other without the benefit of super-powers! Referee Robinson manages to get in between them and prise the two apart before it comes to that. Once seperated, Melody rushes in and knocks Jade over with a Lou Thesz Press, then starts slapping at her with left and right hands! After a few shots Jade manages to turn herself out on top and slaps at Melody in response!

COLE
These two, once good friends are really going at it! And there's no McDonalds employees to step in tonight!

Melody turns the tables again by grabbing onto Jade's hair for leverage. Grabbing back Jade causes Melody to shriek in pain and they go back and forth with the referee looking on helplessly.

COACH
Can I get a CAAATFIIIGHT!?

Eventually Jade and Melody wind up tangled in the ropes and both roll out of the ring, pausing and staring at each other for a moment with the same look of 'what the hell was that for?' Robinson leans through the ropes to tell them to get back inside, but when Jade tries to, Melody pulls her off the apron spitefully. Simply trying to be the one who enters first. However, Melody is then pulled from the apron by Jade. The girls get into another shoving match on the outside

COACH
Okay, nevermind those catfight shouts. It's like two sisters fighting over who gets top bunk at summer camp... not erotic at all, just kinda sad.

Robinson audibly sighs, heard by both girls. They both roll back into the ring and encourage him not to be such a fuddy-duddy and to mellow out a little, before remembering they're bitter with each other and not him. They shove back and forth again, before Melody FLICKS Jade in the eye!

JADE
OW!

Jade responds with an attempted eyepoke, but Melody pulls the THREE STOOGES COUNTER and flicks Jade again!

JADE
OW!! STOP IT!

The Women's Champion responds by STOMPING Melody's foot! Hopping up and down, Melody grabs Jade by the nose and SLAPS down on it, causing the worst pain imaginable! Seriously, try it.

COLE
I've been on the recieving end of that more than enough times in my life.

COACH
That doesn't surprise me.

With Jade holding her face, Melody executes the first wrestling move of the match with a waistlock. Jade counters with a wrestling move of her own, a wristlock. Then she grabs a headlock. Melody shoves Jade off into the ropes and shows fine agility by leapfrogging Jade on the rebound. Surprised Jade slows to a stop and walks into a side headlock by Melody. Just as the catfight threatens to break down into a wrestling match, Mel punishes Jade with a NOOGIE, forcing her to push out and send Mel the ropes. As Melody comes back, Jade tries her own leapfrog. But in spite of the cheerleader costume Jade's leapfrog leaves a lot to be desired and Melody shoves her away, Jade unable to land safely either and losing her balance. Embarrassed, Jade picks herself up, faced with Melody laughing at her.

COLE
Melody's going to be wanting a .gif of that after the match!

Where-as once Jade would have taken that kind of teasing lying down, she's come a long way. And determined not to be laughed at anymore Jade is riled up by Melody's abuse... and paws the challenger with an open left hand.

COLE
OH!

Jade paws Melody with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360 and knocks Melody down with a big clothesline!

COLE
Exclusive: Rich Little Blonde Girl Kicks Ass! Jade has been pushed too far and if these friends were holding anything back before, I think that's officially gone out of the window now.

COACH
She's definately got a temper on her this one, especially for such a meek little girl.

Looking down at her friend, Jade breathes heavily as she makes a cover...


1...



2...



NO!

Jade picks Melody back up and having calmed down, she hesitates a little before stinging her with a forearm smash. Melody doesn't hesitate in striking back though, punching Jade in the stomach. Backing Melody against the ropes, Jade whips her across but misses with a clothesline. Off the far side Melody knocks the Champ down with a crossbody...


1...



2...



NO!

First to her feet the mighty Melody loads up with a devestating TOMAHAWK CHO... NO! Jade gets her hands up and blocks the shot!

COLE
Oh thank goodness, Jade's head could have been split clean in two if Melody connected with that!

Despite Melody's efforts to force the hand down, Jade is able to keep her blocked, long enough to boot Melody in the stomach. Jade then delivers a vertical suplex and covers...


1...



2...



No!

With Melody backing away into a corner, the Women's Champion appeals to the crowd before delivering a clothesline against the turnbuckles. Melody stumbles out of the corner and Jade appeals again. That wasted moment proves costly, as when Jade turns back to dish out another clothesline, Melody is waiting with a raised BIG boot to the face!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Wow, that was a stinging shot! And Jade hits the mat like a sack of potatoes!

COACH
As opposed to dressing like a sack of potatoes, as she does out of the ring. Although, I guess if she's going to get drinks thrown at her by her friends everytime she wears something expensive, maybe we can't blame her too much.

Jade lays looking up at the lights and checking her face is still in one piece, nevermined her vision which must be a little blurred. For a second Melody stands looking down at Jade, something approaching compassion on her face. Until she remembers she's in a match and starts to head for the top rope. Jade eventually picks herself up, still looking shaken as Melody perches up top waiting. When the Women's Champion turns around, Melody takes flight, driving with both knees to smash Jade back into the mat!!

COLE
It Came From The Top Rope! Are we going to have a new Women's Champion?


1...



2...



SHOULDER UP!

After hitting the triangle button, or rather making a triangle shape with her hands and pressing the thin air in the middle, Melody argues with the referee. Purely to fill up her momentum meter. Melody then picks Jade back up, stepping behind her with the makings of a backslide.

COLE
Could be going for the Sega Mega Driver.

Melody tries to take Jade over, but the Women's Champion struggles free and rolls Melody up...


1...



2...



NO!

Aiming with another big boot Melody misses and is caught in a cobra clutch, before being dragged across a knee in a backbreaker!

COLE
No, counter by Jade, giving Melody an Extreme Hollywood Makeover!

Leg hooked...


1...



2...



NO!

"LET'S GO JADE!"
"MEL - O - DY!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"
"MEL - O - DY!"

Jade gets over her disappointment, distracted momentarily by the chants of the crowd as she stalks behind her challenger. Once she's back up, Jade grabs Melody around the head looking for the reverse x-factor... but Melody counters, dropping to a knee and throwing Jade forward by the arm. Rolling through to her feet, The Prodigal Daughter winds up backed in a corner. Melody charges in but Jade is able to push up on the ropes, getting her knees up into Melody's face.

COLE
This crowd split, but you can barely split these two in terms of action so far. Back and forth, this could really go either way at this point.

Pushing up again, Jade puts herself on the middle rope. In the time taken to get her footing however Jade gives Melody an opening...



MELODY
SHORYUKEN~!

...TO DELIVER THE JUMPING PALM STRIKE!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

COACH
There goes Melody, showing her age again. Street Fighter, Warzone, Sega Mega Drives?

COLE
It's retro.

COACH
It's Melody being old, that's what it is. Gimme my hot jailbait Nerdlys, get this wrinkled has-been outta mine and my sight!

Jade rocks around sat on the top turnbuckle, narrowly avoiding tumbling over the top to the floor. Steadying her opponent Melody begins to climb the ropes as well in front of the Champion. She sets Jade up ready for a super hurricanrana. Jade fights back though, punching Melody in the gut. And again. A shove then sends Melody falling backwards off the top, unable to grab onto anything to stop herself. Melody just about lands on her feet, but hurts her ankle in the process. Looking to take advantage, Jade wraps her legs over Melody's shoulders and pushes off the ropes with a Victory Roll...



...NO, MELODY SITS DOWN AND COUNTERS...


1...




2...




KICKOUT!!!

COLE
Was that three!? No! No, only two! Melody almost caught Jade, in similar fashion to how the Women's Champion caught her off-guard at the New Year's Spectacular!

After checking the count, Melody runs at Jade, who sidesteps. Melody bumps into the turnbuckles and gets schoolgirled as she falls back...


1...



2...



NO!!

Jade swings and misses with a clothesline, Melody catching the arm and twisting Jade into a boot to the gut. She sets the knee in the back of the head looking for the finish, but Jade twists out at the wrist. Wringing the arm, the Women's Champion goes behind with a hammerlock, but lets go of the arm and surprises Melody by pulling her down with the reverse x-factor!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Jade scores, could this be three?


1...




2...




3!!!!

COLE
Yes it can! The OAOAST Women's Champion retains her title, with a page from Mom's playbook!

*DINGDINGDING!*

Jade clenches a fist in relief as her hand is raised in victory.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... and STILL OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... JJJAAAAAAAAAADDEEEEEEE... RRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAANN!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Referee Charles Robinson passes Jade her Women's Title belt and she puts it over her shoulder, but seems more concerned with her opponent. Melody has enough consciousness left to roll to a knee, hung over the ropes holding her head in pain and defeat.

COACH
Poor Melody. She hasn't felt this bad since she realised her copy of No Mercy 64 was one of the corrupt ones that lost saved data with no warning. Or since she saw the Phantom Menace. Or some other such nerd thing.

Setting down her title belt, Jade goes over to Melody and helps her up. Once Melody realises who it is she flinches a little, but soon realises Jade means her no harm. Infact Jade just wants to check that she's not hurt. The two girls reconcile for a few seconds, before they embrace (like friends, before you get all excited), with their differences apparantly put aside.

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Well thank goodness for that! Jade and Melody seeing the errors of their ways after this hard fought Women's Title bout!

COACH
So now they're all best buddies again? Just like that?

COLE
I guess you don't understand real friendship.

COACH
You've got a better grip on feelings of over-emotional teenage girls than I do, admitted.

Jade and Melody's apologies lead to Melody raises Jade's hand in victory for the crowd.

COLE
A happy ending to this Women's Title situation. Hurrah!

[Chanel #99]

COLE
Folks, its about that time. Time for one of our more unusual matches on the card, Malaysia’s Dungeon Match between Krista and Malaysia. It takes place at the fortress of Nerdlytude in Edmonton inside Malaysia’s dungeon. The rules are very simple the first person to escape the dungeon wins the contest. Let’s take it to Edmonton, and we’ll see you after the match!

FORTRESS OF NERDLYTUDE
MALAYSIA’S DUNEGEON!

Krista slams the door shut behind her, locking herself in a room that’s part  erotic dreamland and part Satanic nightmare. The walls are covered with a glossy black paint that’s occasionally broken up by odd red pentagram symbols. Adding flash and glitz is a neon sign that reads Malaysia’s Dungeon. The floor is plush red carpet, and on top of it rests all sorts of nasty, vile bondage tools.

Without warning, Malaysia lunges from the shadows. Ivory fangs glisten in the candle light as the dominatrix leaps at Krista who’s taken unaware by the woman’s savage attack. Krista’s hands immediately scan for an object to aid her paltry defense.

“Welcome to my dungeon. Its not your Beverly Hills mansion, but we can still find something to do.” Malaysia says through a sickening smile.

She snarls loudly as her hands reach down for Krista’s neck, and her hot breath steams the cold air. The beach goddess surely might perish but she manages to use her muscular legs to buck Malaysia off.  Quickly, she moves to her feet, and snatches a bloodwood paddle off a metal wall mounted rack.

“Now, you’re getting into the sprit!” Malaysia celebrates.

Krista strikes out at the muscle queen  only mere moments before she can regain her hold on her.  Hardwood slices into Malaysia’s stomach, and spit sprays from her mouth. Although wounded, Malaysia whirls around and snaps at Krista’s outstretched paddle arm. Powerful hands clamp down on her wrist, punching through her defenses and wrenching the weapon away.

Malaysia slides her hands along the edge of the paddle, “Don’t think you get to have all the fun.” Malaysia’s hands take tight grip of Krista’s vibrant platinum hair and drags her onto a spanking swing.

“Lift up your skirt, my little slut. Show me your sweet ass!”

Krista presses her face downwards and reaches behind her. She slowly raises up the short hem of her little pleated, plaid skirt. Is as if she’s unveiling an offering to the on the altar of a pagan church. The sudden coolness of the air on her skin and the vivid image of what’s to come has her trembling violently.

CRACK. The wooden paddle lands hard across both her ass cheeks. CRACK. Again, the paddle whooshes through the air and lands full force on Krissy’s ass. Each time, the flesh of her smooth, round globes bounced and recoiled under the blow. Next, she began a steady, relentless rhythm, delivering a hard smack to each cheek in turn, every 10 seconds. Krista is squirming and whimpering on the swing. Her ass is on fire from the paddle’s repeated smacks across her flesh. Malaysia grabs her hair and pulls Krista’s back and pinned her legs with her own to restrain her movements.

He thrust his fingers into her mouth and down her throat to stifle her cries. “Suck on my fingers, bitch! Taste them!”

Krista was rendered incapable of speech as she forced her hands down her throat.

“Suck them!”

Four wicked CRACKs of the paddle on her ass, followed by her fingernails raking across her hot flesh reinforced her demand for immediate pleasure. But instead Krista buries her teeth into Malaysia’s fingers, puncturing the flesh. The tangy taste of blood fills her mouth, and carries a rush of adrenaline through her bones.

“AAAAAAH!” Malaysia rips her hand from Krista’s fangs, stunned by the pleasurable pain just brought to her.  Attending to her bleeding fingers, the Nerdly barely notices Krista twisting herself on the swing. This is to her detriment as Krista uses it to propel herself at her foe. Her arms coils around Malaysia’s neck and she brings her down onto the flame red carpeting with a tornado DDT! Convulsions rock Malaysia’s body as a hideous pain powers through her head.
Through strands of her yellow hair Malaysia can see Krista unhooking chains that hold a leather harness above her queen sized heart shaped bed. Malaysia has no intention of being victimized by Krista’s brutal plot and thus fights her way upright. A feral snarl comes from her curled lip and she surges forward to Krista. Before the fitness queen can prepare for Malaysia’s arrival, the dominatrix is spearing her onto the bed with full force. The unusually shaped furniture bounces and shakes from the sudden impact of the two beautiful ladies touching down.  

Landing on top, Malaysia reaches for Krista’s head and grabs a fistful of her, silky hair, winding it around her hand to ensure that she could not jerk away from her
“You are so beautiful, like this. You are the perfect masochist.  You’re what I’ve been searching for.” Next, she reaches around her waist, her arms encircling her body, flipping her over. Her hands flat on the small of her back, holding her down. Her arms are like the pincers of a trap, imprisoning her with power. Krista feels her find the hook and the zipper on the back of her little plaid skirt. She holds the zipper for a minute without opening it to further unnerve Krista. But, her torturous delay gives Krista some time to find a weapon to aid in her quest to escape. All she can come up with is a lone bottle of massage oil resting atop a nightstand. However, she uses it to its maximum effectiveness by smashing it back against Malaysia’s head. Oil, glass, sweat, it all goes flying away as Malaysia is beaten away from her conquest of Krista.

Now free of Malaysia’s tormenting hands, Krista seizes the moment to search out more weapons of destruction. She needn’t take very long, coming up with her previously discarded chains. Quickly they find a home around the Nerdly’s neck, causing her to gag and cry.  Her misfortunes continue as Krista leaps forward off the bed to hit Malaysia with  a chain assisted diamond cutter! Malaysia hits the floor with tremendous force and cries out in frustration and agony. Krista pauses to catch her breath, and reassess the troubling situation she finds herself in.

On the floor Malaysia’s anguished screams devolve into the howling of a ravenous beast. And before Krista knows it Malaysia’s thick arms are lariating onto the top of a steel cage. Her smooth flesh strikes the rough bars, producing a harsh metallic ring. An annoyed snarl greets the noise, along with her spiked heels kicking away at Malaysia.

“Now, now.  What kind of way is that to treat your host?” Malaysia wonders, lazily dragging her fingers along Krista’s bronze skin. “I may have to teach you some manners, Princess.” With her heart pounding in her throat, Malaysia swings her long brawny legs over Krista to mount her helpless victim. Mayalsia thrust her milky white tighes against her unwilling lover, just as the blonde tries to escape. Both women let out ragged grunts as their bodies meet like gears twisting together. Malaysia’s Amazonian frame deeply plows into Krista, their eyes were screwed shut, their foreheads strained, their bodies shaking like houses in a hurricane.
"Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck you…" the blonde muttered into her lover's ear as her body works a surprisingly strong, jerky, pistoning motion. The darker girl let out a little "ih!" at the top of each thrust as the blonde speared her crotch into her’s "ih! ih! ih! ih! ih! ih!" Unawares to Malaysia is that Krista is slowly gathering the chain into her arms. Stretched across the cage, and her weapon strewn about the floor, retrieving it is an exercise in frustration. But its one Krista has no choice but to participate in if she wishes to survive.

Finally the chain reaches Krista’s fingertips and is gripped tightly within her fist.  Within moments its brought against the side of Malaysia’s face and she’s violently thrown off the fitness queen. She tumbles over onto the floor, landing beside a bondage chair. Her hands pound the stainless steel legs as she screams her annoyance.

Krista tries to gain uneasy footing with her spiked heels on the thin bars as she gets to her feet. She crouches over like the meanest of jungle cats, blue eyes eyeing her foe with malicious hunger. She leaps from her shaky mount with feline speed. But, her quick descent carries right into the all powerful grip of Malyaisa. Mere seconds later the wrestler of the year is being slung over onto the bondage cheer. The steel cuts into her flesh and generates tormented cries as she wonders if any of her bones are broken. While she struggles to cope with her searing pain, the BDSM fanatic takes advantage of her weakness to try and bound her inside the chair’s leather straps. Krista instantly realizes the misery that would come to her if Malaysia is successful and thusly kicks away at her with full force. Her heels leave bright red imprints on Malaysia’s bare stomach and succeed in backing her away ever so slightly. But the Deadly Nerdly recovers her strength and comes charging in with the speed of a raging boar. Krista meets the arrival of her foe by pressing up on the arms of the chair and tightening her lovely legs around Malaysia’s neck. She then whirls around and throws Malaysia over with a modified hurricanrana.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

“What!” Malaysia barks, dizzied from Krista’s creative counter.

“Would you and your friend like some of my peanut butter cookies?” Mama Nerdly wonders.

“Go away, mom!”


“But…”


“I said go away! I’m busy! You always do this when I have company! Always!”

Malaysia wisely turns her aggression away from the woman who gave birth to her, towards the woman who gave her that bomb ass booty! Barking furiously, she hops to her feet as Krista does the same. But Krista has risen with a riding crop that etches fear and horny anticipation on Malaysia’s face. Malaysia’s anticipation may be misguided but her fear is well founded; Krista  strikes the woman between the eye with her weapon. She yelps in pain as the force of the shot knocks her back against the far wall of the room. Malaysia stays in her stunned position for only a few seconds before affixing a look of malice on her face and grabbing hold of an electric wand. With her lethal sword brandished in front of her like the sword of Excalibur she closes the gap between she and Krista with only a few short steps. The wand swings out at the walk of famer, but with her dancer’s agility she manages to roll beneath it. She comes up in front of the wall and uses that same agility to run up it and spring back at Malaysia with a spinning kick. Her heel strikes her rival with flawless accuracy, knocking her over and more importantly knocking the wand out her hand.

Malaysia’s eyes explode with horror, as very real fright settles over her. Her movement resembles a prairie dog, scurrying across the floor to reach her errant wand. But right as her fingers are about to fall on the desired weapon, Krista swoops down and takes it into her hand.

Malaysia’s worst fears become reality, but her fright manifests itself as outrage as she springs upright to face Krista. A growl escapes her lips as she drops into am attack posture. She her arm at Krista, who ducks beneath and butted her head into her chest almost hard enough to crack her ribs. Gasping in pain, Malaysia staggers backwards. Krista smacks the wand against Malaysia’s skull as hard as she can. Despite the incredible pain of the blow, Malaysia fires off backwards kick that sends Krista toppling over a double penetration sex machine. A startled cry ends abruptly as Krista lands face first on the floor. There’s little time to collect her thoughts as Malaysia is hovering above her with the state of the art sex machine raised high above her head. The multi dildo tool comes down like a judgment from Christ, and Krista is barely able to avoid being crushed beneath its sizable girth. Though she avoided the dildo machine, she can’t avoid a swift boot Malaysia throws into her head. A high pitched shriek gives way to agonized groans as Krista feels like she’s been impaled by Malaysia’s stiletto boots.

With Krista crawling to her feet, Malaysia lowers her body and attempts to spear Krista from the right. But mustering all her strength and energy Krista springs from the ground and leaps over the dominatrix’s head, nimbly landing behind her foe. Before the startled Deadly Alliance woman even realizes what has happened to her, Krista sweeps her leg out from under her. Malaysia falls forward onto her knees, but just as soon she’s trying to return upright. But its already too late. Clutching her electrical wand, Krista clubs her foe across the back of her head. Bone cracks and the dominatrix falls face-first onto the red carpet. Blood and brains spill across the floor. Okay, not brains, that’d be weird and disturbing.

In a matter of moments the mêlée is over. Krista stands triumphantly over the body of her fallen assailant. She’s breathing hard, she’s barely able to stand, but as she carries herself to the door she knows she’s victorious. With a heart and mind that’s much lighter than she entered, Krista slips out the door. The referee on duty raises her hand to signify her brutal and violent victory.

“Mrs.Nerdly…about those peanut butter cookies?” Krista wonders and we return to Sofa Central

COLE
Krista Isadora Duncan, the wrestler of the year, pulling off a big win in Malaysia’s domain. There’s no time to relax for the fitneess queen, though. She’s got a world title affair coming up in her hometown of Los Angeles at the 300th HeldDOWN~!

COACH
What Malaysia couldn’t do, Mister Dick is gonna do with ease and with class.

COLE
He has to get past Leon Rodez first, Coach. That's no easy task, as many of our superstars have found out.


***LIVE FROM INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA!***

[Chanel #99]

MICHAEL BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, ARE YOU READY!?

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

MICHAEL BUFFER
ARE...YOU...READY??

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

MICHAEL BUFFER
Then for the thousands in this arena and the millions watching across the globe, LETS GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

COLE
Does it get any bigger than this? Or first match in our triple mainevent here at Anglepalooza. And its a match that could change the future of the OAOAST!

COACH
For the better if Mister Moneymaker wins. Its time for the new breed of superstars to become the "Franchise" in the OAOAST, and no one makes a better poster boy then a billion dollar heir.

MICHAEL BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, and the viewing public watching live on pay-per-view, THIS is the SURVIVE OR SURRENDER MATCH! Notice that the cage above the ring has been constructed with four solid walls of steel mesh, and a roof over it. There is no door, and thus, no entry. Once both participants have entered the ring, the cage will be lowered over the ring, and attatched to the ring apron. The only way to win is for one man to quit...submit...SURRENDER. Tonight, their are no titles at stake in this contest, but the careers of Zack Malibu and Theodore Moneymaker lay in each other's hands. One man will emerge victorious, and seal the fate of his eternal foe. And now...the participants...

The entire goes dark aside from several fans using the glow of their cellphone to see what's become a crazed and excisted atmosphere. The scene turns all the more enthused as Getting Away With Murder kicks in and the Angletron shines bright with images of Zack Malibu's greatest moments.

Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness
I need to calculate what creates my own madness
And I'm addicted to your punishment
And you're the master, and I am waiting for disaster”

BUFFER
From PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND, he weighs in tonight at two hundred and five pounds...he is a 3 time OAOAST World Champion, a former tag team champion, and 24/7 champion, he is the leader of the In Crowd and the Franchise of the OAOAST he is the 2008 face of the year......ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Sizzling sparks of pyro flood down from the ceiling onto the powerful image of Zack Malibu standing with head lowered, his face shielded by his In Crowd hoodie. As the song continues to blare its violent aggression Zack throws his arms outward and gives the fans a look at a face that's frozen in somber determination.

COLE
What a fitting song, because who ever wins this match will have to cross the line into murder. Neither man is going to surrender unless their very life depends on it. We saw Candie pull out a big victory against Allison, but Theodore Moneymaker is far more fearsome and resourceful foe. He is limitless in his tricks, strategies, and ways to win. He is what you'd call a thinking man's wrestler, and in a match that's driven by emotion, a calm level headed and intelligent approach just may win out.

COACH
Ha! You coppin pleas for ya boy already. It shouldn't matter if Mister Moneymaker is Brainiac from Superman if this is Zack's match like he says it is, he should have this thing on lock. Problem is Zack's been caught slippin too many times. Let Leon Rodez get that world title, and step out his sidekick role. Had to call in his chick cause he couldn't deal with his old girl. Had to ask the Beverly Hills Blonds and Krista to help with The Enterprise cause his In Crowd was too weak. This man is on the downturn and Mister Moneymaker is on the upswing!

Walking down the entrance ramp, Malibu slowly raises his arms into the air, holding them high above his head to send blue pryo missiles scorching through the air in front of the entrance stage. The fans continue their massive cheers and applause, everyone of them urging him on in this pivotal battle.

COLE
I don't think you'll find any superstar on the roster as intense and as dedicated as Zack Malibu. He is a model for all wrestlers to aspire to.

COACH
He's an emotional hothead! He gets provoked at the slightest little thing. Leon doesn't get angry. Bohemoth plays things cool. Krista gets mad but keeps a sense of humor. But this guy is always running around like Iran dropped nuclear missiles on a puppy farm. Mister Moneymaker is playing him like a fiddle.

Malibu circles the ring, as though he were stalking prey. His face is lined with an angered anticipation, and though the audience loves him they know better than to interfere with him while he's in his zone.

Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith  
 
The hateful booing of the audience almost drowns out the music as searing red flames appear on the video screens. Red and green spotlights flood the stage, as green lazers scream out towards every inch of the arena. Into this bright collection of lights steps Theodore Moneymaker wearing the type of smile that makes it seem like he's on a date with a super model and not with a man who wishes to end his life. In a flash, Zack charges up the ramp and tackles Moneymaker, hammering on him as the crowd goes wild! Zack brings Moneymaker up to his feet and drags him to the ring, hurling him inside so that the cage can be lowered around it. Malibu enters as well, but Moneymaker quickly rolls out the far side, going and leaning onto Sofa Central for support and to regain his breath.

COLE
What are you doing here? Get in the ring!

COACH
You can't tell him what to do, Mikey Cole!

COLE
I can...OH JEEZ!

Cole and Coach are both startled by Malibu coming over and ramming Moneymaker headfirst into their commentators table! Moneymaker staggers away, trying to keep Zack at bay and delay the confines of the cage for as long as he can! Malibu chases after him, taking him by the head and spinning him around into a European uppercut that floors the braggadocio billionaire! Moneymaker doesn't stay on the ground for long though, as Zack yanks him right up and sends him into the ring, ready to start their match! Moneymaker gets up and heads for the far end, trying to escape, but Zack comes up behind him and grabs a rear waistlock, which Moneymaker blocks by grabbing the top rope! The filthy rich superstar hangs on, then kicks his leg back, striking Zack with a low blow and then throws HIM out of the ring, as the lowering cage is stopped due to the combatants spilling out to ringside!

COACH
Smart thinking by Mr. Moneymaker!

Zack gets up, but gets nailed from behind by Moneymaker, knocking him into the guardrail! Moneymaker then picks Zack up and drops him with a snake eyes on the guardrail, knocking the wind out of him! As Zack slumps over the railing, Moneymaker takes to using it as a weapon, choking Zack over the top of the railing as fans scream for him to stop!

COLE
Enough of this! Back off him and get in the ring, Moneymaker!

Moneymaker does indeed back off just seconds later, and he shoves referee Charles Robinson violently to the floor as the official tries to lure the combatants into the squared circle! Moneymaker then turns his attentions to the fans, jawjacking with several of them at ringside...then pushes some of them aside, and grabs a steel chair! Folding it up, he cocks it over his head before bringing it down across Zack's back, sending a surge of pain up his spine! Zack falls to his knees, howling in agony, as the fanbase continues their jeering of Theodore Moneymaker. With the weapon still in hand, Moneymaker waves Zack on, asking him to get to his feet. Malibu powers up, but as soon as he does, the steel comes crashing down on his head, thanks to Moneymaker waylaying him with a hard chair shot! Zack flops to the floor, and the crowd grows hushed as Moneymaker stands over him, the damage done.

COLE
OK, this REALLY needs to stop. We haven't even officially started this match, and already Theodore Moneymaker has leveled Zack with a brutal chair shot!

Moneymaker stands over Zack, then starts driving the edge of the chair into his throat, choking him again. Suddenly, the crowd goes wild as BOHEMOTH and LEON RODEZ, members of Zack's In Crowd, hit the ringside area! With them also is Candie, Zack's beloved, and all three tend to Zack. Bohemoth stalks Moneymaker, intimidating him into backing up, and a slew of officials come out to check on Zack Malibu.

COACH
C'mon, this is Survive Or Surrender Malibu! Get off your ass and fight, or give it up while you're still breathing!

Everyone tends to Zack, making sure to keep Moneymaker away. As Zack is helped to his feet, blood trickles from his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, and starts to mask his face. Moneymaker enjoys this visual, smiling at Zack, who suddenly breaks away from everyone's aid and tackles his rival! Zack unleashes a flurry of punches, beating Moneymaker viciously with elbows and strikes mixed in for good measure! He brings Moneymaker up and rolls him into the ring, and when his friends approach, he asks them to back off, as he grabs the same steel chair that has bloodied him and climbs through the ropes! Theodore Moneymaker stands up, his back to Zack...and that leaves him wide open for a hard chair shot across his shoulder blades that drops him down!

COLE
Zack Malibu, already bloody, already hurting, is ready to start this match proper!

Candie hops on the apron, and with the cage coming down, begs Zack to recuperate. Zack goes over and holds his beloved by the arm, telling her "I have to do this", and she's helped off the apron by Bohemoth just as the cage lowers, encasing the squared circle in a prison of mesh, with no escape whatsoever!

DING! DING! DING!

The bell has sounded, and the brawl that started this match is now confined to the steel walls of a Survive Or Surrender match! Zack drops the chair on the canvas, then pulls Moneymaker up and sends him into the corner, then races in with a corner clothesline before climbing up on the middle rope and going to town with more punches! The crowd counts along, but at the count of five it's stopped abruptly by Moneymaker, who hotshots Zack onto the top turnbuckle! Zack's hunched over the turnbuckles now, and Moneymaker takes the tag rope and uses it to strangle Malibu!

COLE
There is a vicious streak inside Theodore Moneymaker that is being unleashed tonight, and Zack Malibu is feeling the effects of it!

The rules allow Moneymaker to keep choking Zack, but he doesn't do it for long, as he simply starts clobbering Zack across the back. He takes Zack out of the corner, then runs him into it chest first before pulling him back and hitting a back suplex to put him down. Moneymaker sits up and smiles at the crowd, then gets up and kneedrops Zack across the forehead, staining his white kneepad with the blood of his foe. He gets up and this time hits a fistdrop, then starts biting Malibu's wound, causing the Preppy One to kick and scream in pain! He brings Zack up and sends him to the ropes, but rather than rebound Zack clings to the ropes, and ducks when Moneymaker charges, sending him up and over, down to the ringside floor with a belly flop!

COACH
That's like diving into a pool with no water!

Zack rests against the ropes, then decides to exit, heading out to the floor. He pulls Teddy up and runs him headfirst into the cage wall, and Moneymaker bounces off the steel mesh, trying to protect his head from the impact. Zack takes it and sends him into it again, and then starts kicking him down in the corner of the cage, repeatedly stomping and kicking as Moneymaker crumbles to the floor! He brings Moneymaker up and Irish whips him into the far wall, and with Moneymaker pinned against the cage Zack follows up with a splash...THAT MISSES! Zack dives right into the cage wall, and now Moneymaker takes Zack by the head and begins grating it across the metal, adding more wounds to his already bloody face!

COACH
Right there, Mikey Cole, that's gonna be a brotha's downfall. Moneymaker knows that Zack goes balls to the wall, and even more so now that he's the walking wounded. He's made Zack desperate already, and that desperation is gonna cost him tonight!

Malibu clings to the cage wall, using it to pull himself up...but then Moneymaker hits a kneelift to the back, sending Zack pressed into the cage again! Zack then gets tossed back into the ring, and Moneymaker walks around ringside, going so far as to push the camera man out of the way!

COLE
Moneymaker has taken control, and these fans are not liking it one bit!

Back in the ring, Zack tries powering up, coming up on all fours, but Moneymaker rolls into the ring and then drops an elbow across the back of his head, ending that quickly. He yanks Zack up and fires him to the corner...or tries to, but winds up getting sent in himself thanks to a well timed reversal! Malibu charges in, but eats boot when he does! Zack falls to one knee, and Moneymaker hops up on the ropes...but when he comes down with an axe handle, Zack clubs him in the gut, the impact of which flips Moneymaker over! Back on his feet, Malibu's eyes widen, and like a man possessed he hits the ropes, coming off with a leaping lariat to the billionaire! Zack rolls to his feet, and when Moneymaker comes up after him, he floors him with a solid right hand! Moneymaker goes down, but comes right back up, and walks into an inverted atomic drop, then gets sent to the ropes...but now he reverses, and sends Zack in! Teddy drops his head, so Zack greets him by delivering a hard kick, then a series of chops that cause Moneymaker to backstep, before it culminates in Zack wrenching his arm and connecting with a final chop that puts Moneymaker down! Zack then stands over him and hammers away again, with Moneymaker doing his best to cover up. Finally, he manages to send Zack off of him and out of the ring, but Zack winds up on the apron, catching his fall! With Moneymaker unaware, Malibu springboards in...but he's caught, and Moneymaker throws Zack overhead with a fallaway slam, putting Zack down!

COACH
Once again, Zack takes a risk, and Moneymaker gets the reward!

Zack struggles to his feet again, and now Moneymaker measures him up, finding him prone for the BANK VAULT~!...but Zack desperately reaches for the ropes, not allowing himself to become trapped in the hold! Zack clings to the top rope with his left hand, as Moneymaker scrambles to trap it in a chicken wing, repeatedly hammering Zack across the back to get him to break! Moneymaker then spins Zack around and hooks him for a suplex, but Zack slips behind him and hits a release German that throws Moneymaker halfway across the ring!

COLE
But all it takes is something like that to turn the tide!

Malibu sits up and huffs for air, his puffy cheeks reddened by his own blood. Hoping to capitalize, he gets up and rushes Moneymaker, who comes up holding his neck...but a second attempt at a German is thwarted, as Moneymaker back elbows Zack! He tries to send Zack to the ropes, but Zack counters, yanking Moneymaker into an inverted atomic drop! Zack then tries for SCHOOL'S OUT, but it's caught, and Moneymaker swings the foot around so that he can catch Zack in THE BANK VAULT~!

COACH
He's got him locked!

Zack desperately reaches for the ropes again, as he tries to get Moneymaker off of him, but Theodore is the one with the advantage, and he's able to lure Zack towards the center of the ring! Zack desperately tries to free himself, as Moneymaker gets a gleam in his eye, wrenching his signature hold in the hopes of getting Zack Malibu to surrender!

COLE
Malibu's fighting it, he's fighting it as much as he can!

The crowd is electric as Zack flails, looking for a way to get out of this predicament, and luckily manages to slip somewhat free, escaping by dumping Moneymaker over with a fireman's carry! His shoulder and neck aching, Zack comes up to his feet, but not before Moneymaker, who takes him by the waistband and hurls him into the corner, sending Zack shoulder first into the ringpost! Zack screams, and comes up holding his shoulder...and that leaves him in the perfect prone position for Moneymaker to lock on The Bank Vault yet again!

COACH
Alright, alright...THIS is it!

The chants of "ZACK" eminate loudly from the capacity crowd, as again, Zack struggles to free himself. Moneymaker, feeling in his heart that Malibu is nearly done for, tells the referee to ask Zack if he quits, and to hold the mic up to his mouth so that he can announce it.

"Zack, what do you say, Zack?

"Nnnnnnnnnnhhhh..."

"C'mon Zack, what do you say? Do you surrender?"

"NnnnnnnnnnNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Angered, Moneymaker breaks the hold on his own, turning Zack around to deliver a hard low kick, and then DDT Zack when he doubles over! He shoves Robinson and takes the mic, then stands over Zack's fallen body, berating him.

"Say you surrender Zack!"

Malibu lay on the mat motionless, except for his body rattling as Moneymaker delivers a hard stomp.

"Get up, Zack! Get up and tell the world that you surrender!"

Malibu lay there, and Moneymaker delivers another stomp, then drops the mic and rolls Zack over, getting on his shoulders and hammering away, much like Malibu did to him earlier! Frustrated, he heads out of the ring and looks around, then finds what he wants...the chair from earlier! The same chair that busted Zack Malibu open earlier tonight is now held by the man who did it, and he crawls back into the ring with his hands firmly wrapped around the chair legs.

COLE
I don't like this one bit...

Zack tries pushing up, but falls back to the canvas, completely unaware of what awaits him. Moneymaker stands frozen, waiting for his moment to strike. Slowly, Zack pushes up and looks around, not seeing Moneymaker just off to the side. Moneymaker comes at him, the chair ready to be swung...AND THAT'S WHEN ZACK MALIBU HITS A SCHOOL'S OUT OUT OF NOWHERE, SMASHING THE CHAIR INTO MONEYMAKERS FACE BEFORE COLLAPSING!

COLE
THAT I liked!

COACH
Damn!

The crowd roars, as we now have a double KO! Moneymaker is laid out, the chair having been driven into his face by the powerful trademark superkick of the former World Champion!

COLE
They're both down! Zack Malibu, with perhaps his last bit of strength, just knocked Theodore Moneymaker cold with that superkick!

COACH
You mean that chair!

Exhausted, both men soak in their wounds, using the time to regain some of that lost energy and come to their senses. After what must have felt like a lifetime to them both, they do...and then Zack shoots for the legs, pulling them out from under Teddy! Zack tries to hook them, seemingly for a figure four leglock, but Moneymaker will have none of it and kicks the prep away, stopping the submission from being applied! Zack rolls to his feet and approachs again, but as Moneymaker gets up he takes the chair up with him, and rams the edge of it into Zack's ribs! Zack doubles over, and Moneymaker hits the ropes, going for the Billion Dollar Kneelift...but in ONE SWIFT MOTION~! Zack hooks the leg, pulls Moneymaker up onto his shoulders, and falls to the canvas, driving him down headfirst with a death valley driver!

COACH
YO~!

COLE
Amazing! Zack Malibu will not be denied his chance at vengeance here tonight!

Zack stands up, a bit wobbly after all he's been through tonight, and picks the chair up. With Moneymaker buried face first in the canvas, Zack takes the chair and starts driving it down hard across Moneymaker's back, hitting shot after shot after shot, one for every time Moneymaker has tried to undermine him or oust him from the company he loves!

COACH
He's going too far!

COLE
Too far? He's not doing enough, after what Moneymaker has put him through!

The only defense Theodore can muster is to roll away, but Zack follows, connecting with shots until the moment Moneymaker rolls himself under the bottom rope and falls to the floor. Zack angrily throws the chair down, his facial expression saying it all, as he is a man on a mission here at Anglepalooza!

COLE
Moneymaker escaped by the skin of his teeth, but Zack Malibu is on the warpath!

Zack hops out of the ring, as a bruised Moneymaker tries to get back to a vertical base. He comes up behind Moneymaker, but Moneymaker kicks his leg back and hits a low blow, sparing him from Zack's wrath! Zack aches from the blow, and Moneymaker takes him and sends him headfirst into the steel stairs, further opening the gaping wound on Zack's forehead! Moneymaker then pulls the stairs away from the ring, positioning them at ringside just the way he wants, then starts to bring Zack up.

COLE
What's he doing to do here?

Moneymaker pulls Zack up, but Zack is dead weight, and falls back to the floor. He pulls him up again, but when he does Zack pushes up and backdrops Moneymaker ONTO THE STEEL STAIRS~!

COACH
That's GOTTA hurt!

Moneymaker howls in pain, sliding off the stairs and holding his back. Panting and breathing heavy, he uses the cage wall to pull himself up, and turns around...JUST IN TIME TO SEE ZACK RACE ACROSS RINGSIDE AND SPRING OFF THE STEPS, NAILING HIM WITH A ZACK ATTACK II AGAINST THE CAGE WALL~!

COLE
WHATTAMANUEVER!

Moneymaker would be down if it wasn't for the cage wall, so Malibu takes him into a facelock and lifts him up in the air...THEN DROPS HIM WITH A VERTICAL SUPLEX ONTO THE STAIRS~!

COACH
HE JUST BROKE HIS BACK MIKEY COLE~!

The scream from Theodore Moneymaker is heard even through the deafening cheers that Zack Malibu is getting, as his back is FUBARed thanks to that suplex! Moneymaker just lay on the floor, screaming in pain, as referee Robinson comes out of the ring.

"Theodore? Theodore, what do you say?"

"Aaaaaaaah..muh...my back..."

"What do you say? Do you surrender?"

"Aaaugh..guhhh...GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE!"

Moneymaker gingerly sits up, then yanks on Robinson to pull himself to his feet! Zack comes from behind, but Moneymaker takes the mic out of Robinson's hand and turns around, whacking Zack across the head with it, sending a loud THUNK sound throughout the arena! Zack stumbles back, while Moneymaker can barely stand...and when Zack comes forward again he hits a low blow, then rolls Zack into the ring!

COLE
How EITHER of these men are still walking right now is nothing short of a miracle!

Moneymaker slides back in, but is crawling, looking to put as little pressure on his back as possible. He uses the ropes to get himself up, and moves towards the corner, and undoes the turnbuckle padding! With the steel exposed, Moneymaker limps over to Zack, who is again trying to get up, and takes him by the head. Running him as fast as he can, Moneymaker slams Zack chest first into the exposed steel, then LOCKS HIM IN THE BANK VAULT AGAIN~!

COACH
Yeah, they're walking, and Zack walked right into that!

The crowd screams, and Malibu screams with them, although it's not encouraging to hear the Preppy One in so much pain! He kicks off the ropes, trying to float over, but Moneymaker drags him off, holding him tightly with the trademark clutch!

COLE
Fight it Zack! Fight it!

COACH
You want some pom-poms and a skirt while you're at it? Stop being so biased!

That bias has stretched to the fans, however, as they chant for their favorite, the OAOAST Franchise. Zack does his best to wriggle free, but Moneymaker stretches him for all it's worth...until a final effort by Zack drives Moneymaker backwards, into the exposed steel turnbuckle, and Moneymaker BELLOWS a painful yell!

COLE
He broke it!

Zack staggers away, then turns around, charging in fast and furious with a brutal ZACK ATTACK II against the turnbuckles, then hoists Moneymaker up on top! Zack climbs up, driving several headbutts into the temple of Moneymaker, doing further damage to both mens bloody heads! Zack then struggles, but puts Moneymaker up across his shoulders, and powers to his feet while he's on the ropes...

...AND ZACK MALIBU BRINGS HIM CRASHING DOWN WITH THE HONOR ROLL~!

COLE
DID YOU SEE THE RING SHAKE~!?

Speaking of shaking, that's all Moneymaker is doing, as his body convulses, nerves running up his spine as his back is beaten into jelly! Both men lay on the canvas, physically and mentally DONE. Moneymaker rolls around, hurting every time his body bends in the slightest, while Malibu comes up on all fours, looking past the blood falling from his head and at his rival. He comes up and comes over to Moneymaker, then quickly grabs him by the legs, hooking one under each arm...and then he rolls him over into a BOSTON CRAB~!

COACH
C'mon man, his back!

Moneymaker SCREAMS, as Zack uses the traditional hold to put his weight on the base of Moneymaker's spine! Moneymaker screams, but he's not screaming surrender, so Zack wrenches back, pulling back on the legs to bend the body of the billionaire!

"YyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

COLE
Quit! Quit you son of a bitch!

Charles Robinson looks at Moneymaker, checking to see if he's ready, and almost immediately upon seeing the ref, Moneymaker starts screaming and pounding his hands on the canvas as if to tap out!

"I surr...I, augh...I SURRENDER! I SURRENDER, GET HIM OFF OF ME!"

Robinson jumps up and waves for the bell to be rung. Upon hearing it, Zack just flops face first to the canvas, no longer needing to exert himself against the leader of The Enterprise.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAALIBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

"Getting Away With Murder" hits, and its music to the ears of Zack Malibu. Looking nothing like what a winner should look like, the bloody prep is helped to his feet by Charles Robinson, who then raises the arm of the wiped out warrior in the air, signifying a much deserved victory.

COLE
Zack Malibu was put through hell by Theodore Moneymaker for the last six months, and now here tonight, Zack brought some of that hell back to him!

COACH
Yeah, and Zack's looking like hell for it!

COLE
I'm sure in Zack's opinion, Coach, that it was worth it!

The cage rises, and Zack exits the ring, with Robinson leaving the ring to aid him. Zack stumbles up the ramp, and Candie comes out to meet him halfway, greeting her beau and embracing him, drawing yet another pop from the crowd!

COACH
Ugh.

COLE
What a moment! Zack Malibu and Candie, together tonight, put an end to the Enterprise threats! The Malibu family certainly has something to celebrate here tonight at Anglepalooza!

Candie raises her man's hand one more time, getting one last, loud pop from the OAOAST's diehards as they continue to enjoy the annual January outing. After having his hand raised, Zack is helped to the back by Candie, while Theodore Moneymaker is only barely able to stand, being helped out of the ring by trainers. The booing for Moneymaker continues, even after what was a tremendous effort, and we cut away.

[Chanel #99]

COLE
It's now time for one of our feature match-ups here at AnglePalooza 2009, the battle for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Champion Leon Rodez defends against the red-hot number one contender, Mister Dick, a match intensified by a war of words in the past couple of weeks. As you'd expect, both of these outspoken superstars have had plenty to say in the run-up. But whatever you think of what's been said, one thing that can't be denied is the impressive run Mister Dick has been on in the past few months. A run which could be topped off with not just the biggest win of his career tonight, but he hopes the two biggest wins of his career in the space of a week. First though, he's going to have to get through the World Champion, who hasn't shirked a challenge and has no problems getting in the ring with the OAOAST's hot streak player. Leon is looking for the same as his challenger, to pick up these victories and prove himself as a World Champion. Coach, your thoughts on this one and let's keep the innuendo to a minimum, okay?

COACH
Fine. There'll be plenty of time for dick jokes during the match.

COLE
I was afraid you'd say that.

COACH
What isn't a joke though is Mister Dick's checklist. You call it a hot streak, I call it a dominant streak. First off, he joined The Deadly Alliance and you don't do that without something special. Then, he took out the former World Champ, Tha Puerto Rican. Put him on the shlef. He put Shayne Brave out of action. He's tormented Krista for months, not like the rest of the OAOAST who are left quivering wrecks within a few weeks, he's took it right to her, no fear. Couple of weeks ago, he pinned Baron Windels 1, 2, 3. Then Thursday night, how else can you describe the performance against Los Diablos but dominant? Face it, Leon's in trouble.

COLE
If Leon's got anything to worry about, he's not letting it so far. Let's not forget the run of BAD luck Leon had to overcome in order to fulfill his dream of becoming the World Champion. He's fought so hard to turn things around, you can bet he won't be giving it up without a fight.

The cameras pan across the sold-out Seattle crowd in this time, bringing each section to their feet at the chance of getting their faces on TV and DVD. Yeah, we see ya, sit down already.

COLE
World Title at stake, part of our triple main-event. Let's go up to Michael Buffer for the introductions.

*DINGDING*

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!



I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls!
When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside
I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide
I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride!
I date a girl who whips my hide
And my 12 inches is my greatest pride
I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls!

Mister Dick's loving ode to himself fades into "Womanizer" by Britney Spears, her loving ode to the I'm sure many men who've hurt her in her life. Not appreciating the irony of coming out to a song expressing disgust for men like him, Mr. Dick stands beneath a golden shower of pyro. Mr. Dick rubs his well-toned upper body amongst the sparks before emerging into a shower of boos. Now that the sparks are behind him, Mr. Dick is no longer a fire hazard and douses himself in baby oil. Far too much baby oil!

BUFFER
Introducing first, the challenger! He hails from San Antonio, Texas and weighs in tonight at two hundred, thirty eight ROCK HARD pounds! Representing The Deadly Alliance. One of the most controversial superstars that the OAOAST has ever seen, tonight he looks to establish himself a an entity unto himself by winning his first singles championship. Ladies and gentlemen, he is "THE HUMAN HARD ON"... MMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSTTEEEEERRRRRRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Wearing a special pair of metallic gold short shorts for the special occasion Mr. Dick slithers into the ring. Smirking to himself, he breaks the new shorts in, rubbing himself against the ring canvas before humping into life.

COLE
Not neccessarily a popular choice for number one contender, but a choice made on merit by OAOAST President Josie Baker.

COACH
Mister Dick deserves every bit of this number one contendership and if you ask me, the World Title's just the natural progression. Tonight the belt, then Krista, after that immortality. From The Real American Dick to the Immortal Dick.

Mr. Dick climbs the turnbuckles and 'treats' the crowd to a better look. As he hops down, referee Mike Chioda attempts to check him over for weapons. Mr. Dick proves why he's called Mr. Dick by making life unneccessarily difficuly for him, rubbing some baby oil off his chest and into Chioda's face, then making some rather unsavoury pelvic movements when he goes to check the boots. Chioda tells Mr. Dick in no uncertain terms to 'cut it out'.

COLE
Referee Mike Chioda well aware of Mister Dick's track record. He was the official in charge of the match with Baron Windels two weeks ago who missed Mister Dick's match turning lowblow. I spoke to Mike earlier and he's watched that match back and tonight, he's vowing to be EXTRA vigilant where Mister Dick is concerned.

COACH
That sounds like bias to me.

COLE
If Mister Dick plays by the rules like he should, there'll be no problem, will there?

Watching the entrance way, Mr. Dick continues to 'lather up' with the baby oil.

COLE
Wait until you hear this ovation.


.:CUE: "Rock The Casbah", Trust Company:.

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

A predictably loud reaction greets the arrival of the World Champion, Leon Rodez sweeping out through the entrance way. Leon pops open the lavish robe to reveal the World Title around his waist and points a finger to the skies.

BUFFER
And introducing his opponent! Coming to the ring, hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan! Weighing in tonight at two hundred, eighteen and three quarter pounds. He represents The In Crowd! Since winning the belt in late November, this superstar has vowed to be a fighting champion and take on all comers, in a bid to solidify himself as not only one of the most charismatic and entertaining, but also one of the very best wrestlers in the OAOAST... he is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORRRRLLLLDD... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

The smiling Rodez glides his way down the aisle, tagging hands with the Seattle crowd. He stops at the end of the aisleway for a second, staring up at Mr. Dick who leans over the ropes mouthing off at him. Leon brushes it all around, surrounding himself instead with the cheers of the crowd as he goes to the corner of the barricade and kneels on it to get a better view.

COLE
Leon Rodez is rapidly beginning to find out what it's like to be a wanted man. And not by female admirers. All eyes are on the World Champion, all focus on that belt with AngleMania VIII fast approaching.

Leon disrobes before entering the ring, well aware of the chances of being jumped by his opponent. He jumps up onto the ring apron and blows a kiss to the crowd. Coiled and ready, Mr. Dick watches as Leon enters the ring, but doesn't make a move with the World Champion watching him closely. Giving Mr. Dick something to watch closely Leon removes the title belt and raises it over his head.

COLE
The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion!

COACH
Yeah. Make the most of it.

Handing over the World Title, Leon pats the centre plate for good luck. Chioda shows the belt to the challenger, who tries to get good luck by rubbing it against his more intimate areas, but Chioda manages to avoid that happening and holds the belt up for the crowd.

COLE
And now, all the side issues must become non issues. Krista's LA title shot, the Lethal Rumble outcome, all must be forgotten and all focus must be on the here and now and the number one contender Mister Dick.


*DINGDINGDING!*

Both men are ready and with the belt out, the match is underway.

"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"

Coming out of their corners Leon and Mr. Dick square up, with Mr. Dick's mouth running a mile a minute as usual. What he's saying we can't hear, but the grabbing of his crotch is a pretty self explanatory threat before he lands with a right hand. And Leon quickly retaliates as the two men get into an exchange of punches!

COLE
We're not wasting any time here!

Back and forth, champion and challenger go, before Leon tries to gain some control with a side headlock. Mr. Dick quickly throws him off into the ropes and sets himself to knock Leon down on the rebound with a firm shoulder tackle. Quickly getting back up Leon is undaunted and comes off the ropes again, but hits the mat again from another shoulder tackle. Mr. Dick dares Leon to try again and the World Champ does. As Mr. Dick tenses up Leon pulls out of the contact this time and instead goes behind with a surprise waistlock. An attempted takedown fails though and Mr. Dick turns in, backdropping Rodez.

COLE
Mister Dick using his power and using it to good effect.

Leon backs into a corner and with a look of digust, he wipes his arms and hands against the turnbuckle pads.

COLE
Of course, it helps if your opponent can't get a grip on you to lift you because you're covered in baby oil.

COACH
You've gotta be strong and brave to get a good grip on Dickzilla. Go with both hands.

COLE
And we are back.

Tentatively sizing his opponent up, Leon's thoughts of a lock-up are put aside with Mr. Dick rubbing his oily torso with a perverse smile.

COLE
This man could be our World Champion you know. Think about that for a second.

Forced to take an alternative attack, Leon sneaks behind Mr. Dick and dropkicks him in the back. Falling into the ropes, Mr. Dick stumbles back into a second dropkick and winds up hung across the middle rope! Leon does the jig, but as soon as he comes off the ropes, Mister Dick is out of the ring calling for a timeout.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

The anti-social number one contender gets into it with the crowd. Which distracts him as Leon comes off the apron with an axehandle to the back of the neck, sending Dickzilla spilling forward into the barricade. Leon stays on MD with a couple of right hands, before suddenly getting an idea. He drags Mr. Dick by the head (on his shoulders) around ringside, putting his face into the announce table.

COACH
Hey... hey, get out of here!

Despite Coach's protests, Leon uses Coach for assistance, grabbing hold of him by the shirt... and with Mr. Dick in a headlock, uses the hapless announcer's top to rub the baby oil off of Mr. Dick's torso!

COACH
(off mic)
GET HIM OFF OF ME!

COLE
I'll be right over partner!

Once Mr. Dick has been de-oiled, Leon drags him back to the ring and sends him into the ring apron. Back inside, Mr. Dick without proper lubrication is like Samson without hair and is forced to BEG OFF from the World Champion! Nothing doing, as Leon delivers a dropkick with MD on his knees and makes a cover...


1...



2...



No!

Rodez follows Mr. Dick into a corner, delivering a right hand...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and a knifedge chop.


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

Another chop connects. Not liking this, Mr. Dick shoves Leon away and loads up a Texas sized right hand. Ducking underneath Leon catches Mr. Dick in another waistlock and this time EXECUTES the takedown, to a completely unwarranted pop. Mr. Dick squirms around on the mat trying to escape Leon's clutches but with his lack of oil he's unable to get free and can only drag his way to the ropes with Rodez still riding him.

COACH
Dude, Leon just wiped Mr. Dick off on my shirt.

COLE
Don't know why you're complaining. You could probably get a bundle for it on eBay after the show.

COACH
Hey, homo, I know what name you use on eBay, don't even try it with me.

COLE
We'll talk in private.

Mister Dick rants at the referee about his lack of slipperyness and Leon capitalises with a boot...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and another knifedge chop. Irish whip sends Mr. Dick to the ropes and Leon goes for a hiptoss, but can't get MD over. Blocking a second time, The Human Hard On swings and misses with a clothesline, getting caught in a backslide...


1...



2...



No!

Mr. Dick is up quickly, only to get caught in another waistlock. Again unable to slide out Mister Dick is beside himself and calls the referee over to complain some more. It's just coincidence surely that this pulls the referee out of position. With Chioda in front of him Mister Dick gripes, but is clearly thinking. And when the time is right, he throws his leg back...



...and it gets caught.

MR. DICK


"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Uh-oh, Leon had that idea well scouted and Mr. Dick just got caught red handed!

With Mr. Dick's foot in his hands Leon looks to the referee with a shrug. Chioda chastises Mr. Dick for the attempted lowblow and threatens to throw the match out, which causes Dickzilla to apologise profusely, near begging. This allows Rodez to let Mr. Dick go and connect with another dropkick to the back, sending him sprawling forward. With Mr. Dick on the middle rope, Leon does THE JIG~! again, to a roar of approval from the Seattle crowd. And so, they get an EXTENDED jig! Leon then hits the ropes, shooting back...


...into a STIFF KI...



...NO! Leon ducks underneath and rolls Mr. Dick up...


1...



2...



No!

COLE
Mister Dick is struggling to get anything going so far. Could Mister Dick be having trouble rising to the occasion?

COACH
Yeah, leave the puns to me.

With Leon hounding him locking to apply a hold, Mister Dick again leaves the ring and throws his arms up in disgust. Leon is told not to follow by the referee and he's happy to play to the crowd instead.

COLE
This is what Leon is capable of doing, taking opponents off their game. Something which Mr. Dick usually does with his antics, but not tonight.

"JOCK ITCH!"
"JOCK ITCH!"
"JOCK ITCH!"
"JOCK ITCH!"

Hearing the chants, Leon smirks and makes the money sign with his fingers as he smells potential royalties from his coined phrase.

COLE
And this crowd is, dare I say it, riding Mister Dick right now.

COACH
Well, I thi...

MR. DICK
(slamming his hands into the table)
HEY! YOU MAKE THESE DICKLESS WONDERS QUIT WITH THAT CRAP NOW, YA HEAR ME!?

COLE
What do you expect us to do about it!?

We'll never know, as before Mister Dick can respond Leon leaves the ring and spins him around into a right hand! Thrown back inside, Mr. Dick is finally able to work an opening though, catching Leon on the way in with a boot! Mr. Dick stomps away on the World Champion before turning his frustrations to the crowd and invites them all to kiss his ass, extending the invitation to referee Mike Chioda now he's not on the verge of being disqualified. Mr. Dick then goes back to Leon, hanging him across the middle rope and choking him across it.

"ONE!"
"TWO!"
"THREE!"
"FOUR!"
"FI..."

Mr. Dick steps off the ropes and gives Leon an insulting pieface. That sparks Leon into firing out with his boot, but Mr. Dick is able to avoid it and places the flat of his boot on the throat to choke him again.

COACH
As I was saying earlier, I think if Leon plays with fire, he's going to get burned. And if he plays with Mister Dick, he might just ge...

COLE
Make your point! Without the innuendo please!

COACH
If he makes Mister Dick mad, he might just pay for it.

COLE
Thank you!

Pulling Leon off the ropes Mister Dick drags him into the centre of the ring, scoop and a slam. Off the ropes a kneedrop follows...


1...



2...



No!

Mr. Dick mounts Leon and after a tense, awkward and scary moment, he thankfully opts for the mount punches.

"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"

With the crowd getting behind their Champion, Mister Dick takes another moment to insult them all before whipping Leon to the ropes. Another slam attempt is countered as Leon floats over the back, running Mr. Dick into the ropes with a roll-up...


1...




2...


Mr. Dick kicks out. Sent towards the ropes by the momentum, Leon shows great agility to hurdle himself over the top and land safely on the apron with time to recover and pop Mr. Dick in the face with a forearm. Rodez runs down the apron and up to the top turnbuckle, looking to come off the third floor. Mister Dick runs to try and cut him off at the knees but Leon leaps off the top and over him just in time! The relief is short-lived though, as when Leon turns around Mr. Dick runs out of the corner with a STIFF KICK to the face!!

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COACH
Nothing hits harder than a Stiff Mister Dick!

Cover by the challenger...


1...



2...



NO!

Sitting up trying to shake off the effects, Leon is rammed with a knee in the back and pulled right back up. Mister Dick senses a momentum change and after short clothesline tries another pin...


1...



2...



No!

Unhappy, Mr. Dick gets on the ref's case.

COLE
More intimidation by this overbearing individual. But Mister Dick should be worrying about staying on the World Champion, not making himself feel big by scaring a referee.

COACH
For once you're right. Gotta stay focused Dickie!

Mister Dick's lack of focus is punished, Rodez punching him in the midsection as he goes back on the offence. Fortunately for Mr. Dick, his midsection is firm and his boot is firmer, slamming it into Leon's face. With the Champion down, MD prepares to just be a dick, spreading Leon's legs and preparing to lower the boom. But Chioda is right on him and threatens a DQ if he does so.

COLE
There we go, show him who's boss Mike!

COACH
What right does a referee have to stand up to a competitor in the middle of a match like this!?

COLE
Uhm... the fact that he's the referee?

Not wanting to risk that Mister Dick backs off and instead pulls Leon to his feet, "nice and friendly like". Not so friendly, the right hand that follows. Leon staggers back into a corner and Mr. Dick stomps a mudhole and starts walking it dry. Referee Chioda interjects himself again and Mr. Dick breaks on four. Once that warning's over, Mr. Dick places his foot on Leon's throat again.

"ONE!"
"TWO!"

While Chioda is counting, MD takes the opportunity to start untying the top turnbuckle pad!

COLE
Is there anything Mr. Dick won't stoop to?

COACH
You?

Mr. Dick backs away and ends the choking. As he drags Leon from the corner Chioda starts to re-adjust the turnbuckle pad...



...allowing Mr. Dick to drop the headbutt into the Silky Smooth nether regions of the World Champion!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

COLE
Ugh, Mr. Dick, Just Being A Dick and manipulating the referee expertly.

Concealing the pain his opponent is in with a tight pin cover Mister Dick yells at Chioda to turn around and count...


1...




2...



NO!

Mr. Dick applies a rear chinlock, muffling Leon's attempts to explain what happened to the ref.

"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"

Drawing on the support of the crowd, Leon starts to fight back to his feet. And after working out some of the discomfort lower down his body, he delivers an elbow to the ribs on the challenger. A second elbow catches Mr. Dick hard enough to loosen his grip. And a third breaks him free. Quickly off the ropes, Leon then knocks him down with a clothesline!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

COLE
Back comes the World Champion!

Off the ropes again Leon connects with a second clothesline, bouncing Mr. Dick off the mat again.

COACH
He must have been wearing a cup. Come on, check him referee!

Leon delivers a third straight clothesline and is ALL FIRED UP, doing the same for the Seattle crowd. Getting back to his feet Mr. Dick throws a right hand. A timely weave by Leon pulls him out of the way, connecting with the Rolling Sole Butt to knock the wind out of Mr. Dick's sails. Rodez grabs a 3/4 headlock and points to a corner. As he runs The Human Hard On in though, a shove in the back blocks the shiranui. Leon just about gets his foot up to block himself in the turnbuckles. Mr. Dick sees a chance and charges, right into a drop toehold, putting him face-first into the middle turnbuckle!

COACH
Ooh!

COLE
Great counter move!

With Mr. Dick stunned momentarily, Leon is able to hook him up and slice the bread this time!

COLE
Feedback THIS!


1...




2...



NO!

Using the ropes to pull himself back up Mr. Dick is reeling and falls into the corner in a daze. From across the ring Leon lines him up and charges in, going high with the double knees...



...but Mr. Dick steps out, catching Leon and dropping him face-first into the top turnbuckle!!!!

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
OH, Leon got caught and DUMPED, face first! He could be out!

COACH
Cover, cover!

Mister Dick drags Rodez away from the ropes and hooks a leg...


1...




2...




NO!

This time Mister Dick is incensed and risks DQ once again as he gets in Chioda's face.

"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"

COLE
A kickout, but the World Champion looks groggy and that could have been the turning point in this Championship match.

COACH
I believe it is. Mister Dick's just got to finish up... I mean finish off...

COLE
We know what you meant.

After realising he's wasting his time with the referee Mr. Dick goes back over, stomping on Leon. He picks the World Champion up before he can climb up, delivering a hard right hand against the ropes. And gets another warning. Not listening, Mr. Dick shoos the ref out of the way and whips Leon to the ropes. A clothesline is ducked, but as Leon comes back he gets caught with a big boot to the face. Rodez hits the mat and with a grin on his face, Mr. Dick DICK-CUPS to one side of the crowd!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

COACH
Oh yeah! What better was to finish him off than this!?

Mr. Dick cups his pride and joy to all four sides of the crowd trying to figure out who wants it most. The answer would be nobody. But Mr. Dick ends up picking a side eventually and very slowly hits the ropes, BEFORE DROPPING THE BIG LEG!!!

COACH
THAT'S IT!

COLE
The Legdrop from The Real American Dick, don't tell me this is it!

COACH
I JUST DID!


1...





2...





KICKOUTOMGWTF!?!?!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Mr. Dick can't believe it... and CERTAINLY can't believe it when Leon starts to shake back to life.

MR. DICK
You gotta be shittin' me!

With Leon on one knee Mr. Dick clubs him in the back... NO EFFECT!!

COLE
Oh my god... the World Champion is... he's... uhm, Rodezing Up? Does that work? I dunno, who cares!?

Mr. Dick clubs Leon in the back again... NO EFFECT! Actually, tell a lie, it does has some effect as Leon stops in his tracks for a second and cringes in pain, but very quickly shakes it off and points the finger at the shocked Cocky Prick!

YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~!

COACH
Don't punch him! Whatever you do, don't try and punch him!

Either stubborn or stupid, Mr. Dick goes for a punch and it gets blocked.

COACH
Ah damnit!

Having blocked the punch, Leon fires back with a jab!

A jab!


A jab!



A jab!


Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels...



*SMACK!*


...and nailing Mister Dick in the back of the head with the enziguri!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!

Not quite a legdrop, but maybe good enough as Leon makes the cover...


1...




2...




KICKOUT!

Not letting disappointment get the better of him, Leon encourages Mister Dick to his feet.


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

Knifedge chop!


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

A second!


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

And a third. Mr. Dick is hurting, but still manages to reverse an irish whip and send Leon into the turnbuckles instead of him. He then follows up and dives in, connecting with BITE MY GIANT DICK!!

COACH
Yeah, how does that taste!?

Hitting the crossbody clearly relaxes Mr. Dick and he happily slaps Leon around a bit, before jogging towards the opposite corner signalling for a second one. Little does he realise that Leon is jogging a couple of steps behind him. And as he backs up in the corner, Mr. Dick is shocked to get sandwiched against the turnbuckles with a DOUBLE KNEE attack!!

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Where the hell did that come from!?

COLE
I think Mister Dick is wondering the same thing!

Leon pulls Mr. Dick into a front facelock and hits a vertical suplex, setting him in perfect position to head up top! The Seattle crowd rise to their feet as Leon leaves the ring, giving the universal twirling fingers sign for the 450!

COLE
The World Heavyweight Champion is heading to the top, maybe seconds away from staying at the very top of the OAOAST ladder!

Getting his footing up top Rodez draws the crowd behind him, before tumbling...





...and bailing out as Mr. Dick rolls out of the way!! Leon is BARELY able to land on his feet after just 360 degrees and while he's still unsteady, Mr. Dick reaches out and shoves him forwards into the path of referee Mike Chioda...



...and a NEAR collision, Leon able to stop himself just in time...




...BUT CHIODA ISN'T SO LUCKY TONIGHT, AS MISTER DICK TAKES HIS HEAD OFF WITH A STRAY STIFF KICK!!!!!

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COLE
OH! Referee Mike Chioda goes down and I think that was unintentional... but then again, who knows!?

COACH
What do you mean 'think', why would Mister Dick kick the referee in the face?

After a moment of shock Mr. Dick is spun around by Leon and given a boot to the stomach. The World Champion begins to set him up for a Tiger Driver. But Mr. Dick drops to his knees AND DELIVERS A LOWBLOW!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

COLE
THAT'S why, right there! Just like with Baron, no referee in sight!

As Leon crumples in a heap, Mister Dick makes the cover, forgetting for a second with the title within his graps that there's no-one to count.

COLE
Only difference this time is Chioda isn't just unsighted, he's unconscious! And thank goodness, it doesn't look like Mister Dick is going to get away with it this time after all!

Still covering the Champ Mr. Dick reaches over and grabs Chioda's hand, dropping it and realising he's out. A couple of slaps to the back of the head fail to revive him so Mr. Dick crawls over and tries to SHAKE Chioda into waking up. Which unsurprisingly doesn't work, leaving The Human Hard On cursing the referee. Nevermind that he's the one that knocked him out, Mr. Dick is furious with the ref and shows what he thinks by kicking him out of the ring! Mr. Dick then waves to the back for another referee.

COLE
Hey come on, what the hell was that for!?

COACH
Well he's no use in the ring if he's knocked out, he's just in the way.

COLE
Give me a break.

Mr. Dick looks around and with no referees in a rush to help out he curses again. By now Leon is beginning to recover and seeing this, The Human Hard On leaves the ring and heads for the timekeeper's table yelling at everyone to get out of the way. He snatches a discarded chair and slides back in, lining Leon up.

COLE
Oh no... come on, not like this. NOT LIKE THIS~!

COACH
Yes, LIKE THIS!

Pulling himself up by the ropes, Leon nurses his nether regions as the crowd scream warnings of what's waiting behind him. Mr. Dick can barely contain himself, chair shaking in his hands as he prepares to swing. The screams get louder and louder as Leon struggles to recover. Until a thunderous cheer sounds out around the arena.

COLE
WAIT A MINUTE!

Mr. Dick suddenly has the chair ripped from his hands...



*CRACK!*


"YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

...AND GETS BLASTED OVER THE HEAD BY THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!!

COLE
WHAM! MISTER DICK JUST GOT BEHEADED!

PRL drops to his knees and cusses a blue streak at Mister Dick before hurling the steel chair out of the ring in a fit of energy. Still nursing his bicep injury a little, Tha Puerto Rican leaves the ring and collects his expensive sunglasses from the arena floor. PRL then makes an effort to revive the referee, before leaving through the crowd where he came from.

"P - R - L!"
"P - R - L!"
"P - R - L!"
"P - R - L!"

Hundreds of hands pat Tha Puerto Rican on the back as he retreats watching the scene in the ring with a satisfied look on his face. Leon is still winded as he pushes himself off the ropes, seeing Mr. Dick knocked stupid and on wobbly legs.

COACH
No, this isn't right! THIS ISN'T RIGHT AT ALL! Wha... whe... THA PUERTO RICAN~!?

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican, the man put on the shelf by Mister Dick's rampage, has extracted his own form of revenge here tonight at AnglePalooza!

Staggering around, Mr. Dick walks into a boot, then gets taken up with a BRAINBUSTER, putting him in position. Leon crawls through the ropes, dragging himself up on the apron before heading to the top rope.

COACH
I can't believe you're going to condone this!

COLE
Mister Dick had it coming, what can I say?

Referee Chioda hauls himself back into the ring, just in time, as Leon reaches the top. He steadies himself, before delivering the 450 SPLASH!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
450, that's gonna do it!

Chioda makes it over to count...


1...





2...





3!!!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

*DINGDINGDING!*

The fans erupt, Leon slowly rolling off of Mr. Dick with not quite so much enthusiasm.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of this contest... and STILL OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOORRRLLLDD... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Leon's hand is raised in victory by the groggy referee, not looking 100% himself as he takes the World Championship belt. Leon raises the belt over his head in victory, but something on his face seems to say he suspects something isn't quite right.

COLE
Leon Rodez is still the World Champion and moving on, looking ahead and to pull one from your bag of puns, Leon Rodez well and truly beat the Dick!

COACH
No, PRL did! You know it and I know it, Mr. Dick would be the World Champion right now if Tha Puerto Rican hadn't stuck his nose into this match!

COLE
And Mr. Dick might not have been on the verge of victory if he hadn't kicked the referee in the face, delivered a lowblow and tried to use a steel chair! Karma is a bitch!

Rolling out of the ring Leon hangs the title belt over his shoulder and looks back at his defeated challenger. Unable to shake the feeling that something's up he doesn't make much of his celebration, a simple finger raised in victory before slapping a couple of hands as he backs up the ramp. Mr. Dick begins to stir in the ring holding his head in pain.

COACH
And to think, all the talk we've had from Leon, all the crap about being an honourable fighting champion. Where's the honour in taking advantage of a man after he's been waffled with a chair? Some World Champion he is!

COLE
Well the fact is, he IS the World Champion. And he can watch tonight's Lethal Rumble match with greater interest for having gotten this title defence out of the way.

Leon continues to leave as Mister Dick drags himself up in the ring. Making himself scarce referee Chioda avoids the full force of Mr. Dick's anger, The Human Hard On kicking the ropes once he fully realises what's happened. Leaving the ring, Mr. Dick picks up the steel chair used on him and points out the indentation his skull made in it, before hurling it at the cameraman who narrowly avoids getting smacked.

COLE
After all those guarantees of victory, I guess Mister Dick will have to make some alternative plans for the 300th HeldDOWN.

COACH
Mark my words, you haven't heard the last of Mister Dick! Nobody has! Not Rodez, not Krista and certainly not Tha Puerto Rican!

COLE
I'm being told that we've got to go backstage right now. Josh Matthews, take it away!

The camera quickly cuts to the backstage area. Josh Matthews is running with a cameraman following him.

JOSH MATTHEWS
P.R.! P.R.!

Josh Matthews catches up with Tha Puerto Rican, who is walking back to his dressing room. P.R. stops and rolls his eyes.

JOSH MATTHEWS
P.R., what are you doing here? Doctors said that you would be out for upwards to 6 months!

THA PUERTO RICAN
Josh, let it be known, that Tha Puerto Rican will not let NOBODY, ESPECIALLY a man named Mr. Dick, put him down and out for good!

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

THA PUERTO RICAN
I am here! The bicep has been healed! And I am BACK and ready to get back MY World Heavyweight Title! I said that I would return, and like all of Tha Puerto Rican's GUARAN-DAMN-TEES, it has come true! Don't you EVER doubt my word! Tha Puerto Rican will NEVER EVER let his Lightning Bolts down!

The crowd cheers again.

THA PUERTO RICAN
Tha Puerto Rican will NOT be a one year wonder! I vow to make 2009 just as good as 2008 was for me, if not BETTER! And it starts tonight! For you see, earlier today, I OFFICIALLY entered into the Lethal Rumble Match!

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

THA PUERTO RICAN
So in just a few moments, Tha Puerto Rican will walk down The People's Ramp, slide into The People's Ring, and throw 29 other jabronies over the top rope and onto the floor! And then, just like last year, it will be off to AngleMania VIII and the main event for the World Heavyweight Championship! And you can bet your ass that Tha Puerto Rican will win the OAOAST Championship at back-to-back AngleManias and that's the truth, Ruth!

The crowd cheers some more!

THA PUERTO RICAN
If you thought that my first World Title reign was something, brother, you ain't see nothing yet! Tha Puerto Rican's Road To AngleMania VIII begins right now!

Tha Puerto Rican snatches the microphone away from Josh Matthews and shoves him aside. Tha Puerto Rican tilts his head back and then brings the microphone to his lips.

THA PUERTO RICAN
THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP...HAS...SPO-KUN~!!!

Tha Puerto Rican drops the microphone and does The People's Eyebrow directly into the camera. The crowd cheers loudly.

(Cut back to Sofa Central with Double C!)

COLE
Oh my! What an announcement! Tha Puerto Rican is BACK in the OAOAST and he is IN the Lethal Rumble Match!

COACH
Oh crap...and I was just getting used to being out here without fearing for my own safety!

COLE
You'll have to find a good hiding place once again, partner. Tha Puerto Rican is coming out here in just a few moments to compete in the Lethal Rumble!

COACH


COLE
Tha Puerto Rican came within one man of winning the Lethal Rumble Match last year! Can he finally win his first ever Lethal Rumble Match, thus guaranteeing his second straight AngleMania main event appearance? Unlike last year, we won't know his entrant number until his music hits. He will be one of 30 men in the Lethal Rumble. The winner to receive a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VIII coming up on April 5th! We are just a heartbeat away from the 2009 Lethal Rumble Match, fans!

COACH
I hope he's #1!

COLE
He almost won it last year at #1, Coach, if it weren't for Stephen Joseph Popick.

COACH
Crap!

OAOAST HeldDOWN 300TH EPISODE
LIVE FROM DODGER STADIUM IN LOS ANGELES
***FEATURING***
WRESTLER OF THE YEAR KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN COMPETING FOR THE WORLD TITLE AGAINST LEON RODEZ
SECOND ROUND ANDERSON CUP MATCHES
RICO DE JANERIO VS LUCIUS SOUL (the 30,000th biggest match in HeldDOWN history!)
AND MUCH, MUCH, MUCH MORE
January 29th 2009
OAOAST HeldDOWN 300TH EPISODE

[Chanel #99]

30 MEN ENTER
29 MEN FALL
ONE MAN FUFILLS HIS DESTINY
THE 2009 LETHAL RUMBLE
Featuring: Phoenix, Ragdoll, Bohemoth, Sandman9000, Alfdogg, Ned Blanchard, Landon Maddix, Christian Wright, AND MORE!
Who will live their dream at Anglemania?



COLE
Well folks, it's now time!  30 men enter, one man goes to AngleMania for a shot at the OAOAST World title!  It's the Lethal Rumble match!  Let's go up to Michael Buffer!

*DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic)

BUFFER
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time, for our main event of the evening!  Tonight, 30 of the OAOAST's premier superstars will do battle...in the LETHAL Rumble match!

*crowd cheers*

The rules are as follows...earlier, the 30 superstars involved drew numbers at random.  In just a few moments, the participants drawing numbers 1 and 2 will enter the ring, with a new participant entering every two minutes in order of the numbers drawn!  Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown over the top rope, and both feet touch the floor!  The last man in the ring after all participants have entered will be declared the winner, and will go on to receive an OAOAST World title shot at AngleMania VIII!  ARE YOU READY???

*crowd cheers*

Seattle, Washington...ARRRRRRRE YYYYYOUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYY???

*crowd cheers louder*

Then for the thousands in attendance here in Seattle, and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say.  Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

As the crowd's cheers die down, the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life.

Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature.

I ask you please just give us/
Five Minutes Alone.”

COLE
Oh my!

The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature.

White America/
I could be one of your kids.”

The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety.

Final Prayer/
Final prayer for the human race.”

The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits.

HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!

The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them.

BUFFER
Coming to the ring at this time...the participant who drew #1...he represents the Deadly Alliance, and is the OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN
NNNN NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNND!!!!!

COACH
Well, #1 is typically considered a bad draw, but I don't think it matters with Sandman!  He could tear through this whole thing!

COLE
But what happens if it comes down to him and another member of the Deadly Alliance?

COACH
Hey...every man for himself!

Sandman climbs into the ring and removes his bandanas, then moves to the far side of the ring.  Oh No by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoahe Monche hits, and Todd Cortez comes through the curtains, to a mixed reaction of mostly cheers.

BUFFER
And now, the participant who drew #2...representing Cucaracha Internacional, he is the OAOAST United States champion..."THE URBAN LEGEND" TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZ!!!!!

COLE
So we've got the Heartland champion and the US champion to start us off!

Cortez gets halfway down the aisle, then runs the rest of the way to the ring, and slides in, engaging in a slugfest!

*DING DING DING*

COLE
And the Lethal Rumble is underway!

Sandman gets the better of the slugfest, then whips Cortez into the ropes.  Cortez ducks a clothesline, and catches Sandman with a flying forearm!  Cortez slugs away at Sandman on the mat, then picks him up and whips him into a corner.  However, Sandman gets his foot up!

COLE
Cortez had some nice offense going, but got stopped cold right there!

Sandman slowly makes his way towards Cortez, then picks him up and backs him into the same corner, firing away with some forearms, then brings him out and executes a snapmare, followed by a seated dropkick!  Sandman gets up, then picks up Cortez slowly, scooping him up in a fireman's carry, and attempting to dump him to the floor!

COLE
And Sandman going for the early ouster!

Cortez struggles, then thumbs Sandman in the eye.  He slides off his back, then scoops him up in a slam, and attempts elimination himself!

COACH
And now it's Sandman on the brink!

After a brief struggle, Sandman goes to the apron, then grabs a hold of Cortez's leg, before reaching up and delivering a shot to the gut.  Sandman then rolls back inside, and pulls himself up in the corner, pausing a second before making his way over to Cortez and hooking him, executing a snap suplex!  Sandman then hops to the second rope, and attempts a senton bomb, but Cortez rolls out of the way, as the countdown begins!

COLE
And here comes our third entrant!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

If you are what you say you are
A superstar
Then have no fear
The camera's here
and the microphones and they wanna know
Oh oh oh yeah

The crowd comes to its feet, as Superstar by Lupe Fiasco plays, and Simon Singleton runs through the curtains towards the ring.

COLE
And it's one half of the Beverly Hills Blonds, Simon Singleton!

Simon slides in and picks up Cortez, backing him into a corner, and hammering away.

COLE
Simon, ever the opportunist, taking advantage of the situation, with Sandman and Cortez both down!

Simon lifts one leg of Cortez, attempting elimination, then sees Sandman coming from behind, and delivers a shot to the gut.  He then slips behind, and executes an atomic drop, sending Sandman into the ropes, where Simon then pounces and attempts to push him over!

COLE
Sandman in trouble once again!

Sandman blocks, then pokes Simon in the eye.  Sandman kicks Simon in the face, then takes a shot from Cortez.  Cortez then backs up Sandman, and executes a Russian legsweep, followed by a legdrop!  He then gets to his feet and sizes up Simon, and hits him with a springboard dropkick!  Cortez then picks up Simon, and sets him up in a standing headscissors.  Simon blocks, and backdrops Cortez over the ropes!

COACH
Wow, Cortez almost eliminated there!

Simon gets up, and is met with a running sleeperhold drop by Sandman!

COLE
And Simon may be eliminated after that move from Sandman!

Sandman then meets Cortez rolling back inside, and stomps away, as another count begins.

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

Like the Angel by Rise Against, and MARV gets a nice response as he makes his way to the ring.

COLE
MARV of the Christ Air Express, the #4 entrant!

MARV slides in and ducks a clothesline from Sandman, running to the ropes, and catching him with a flying shoulderblock!

COLE
And a big flying shoulderblock on Sandman!

MARV follows up with a scoop slam, followed by a double stomp to the midsection!  MARV then goes after Cortez, while Simon comes to and goes over to Sandman, and separate assaults occur in opposite corners.  Simon and MARV then look across at each other.

COLE
Simon and MARV looking to team up for a move here!

Simon whips Sandman, and MARV whips Cortez, and the two collide mid-ring!  MARV then executes a JAWJACKER~! on Cortez, while Simon sends a foot to the gut of Sandman, and executes a swinging neckbreaker!

COACH
This isn't fair, these two are working together!

Simon extends a high ten, and MARV accepts...but Simon then delivers a foot to the gut, and tosses MARV over the top rope!

COLE
Not anymore!

However, MARV hangs on, and comes back in, then hits Simon with a knee from behind, sending Simon halfway over the top!  MARV then moves over and tries to dump him the rest of the way.

COLE
Simon could be in trouble here!

Simon braces himself with his right hand on the apron, then swings his left elbow back and connects with the face of MARV!

COACH
Ooh, what a shot!

Sandman delivers right hands to MARV, then Simon delivers a shot to the midsection.  Sandman holds MARV for Simon, and Simon delivers some shots.

COACH
How about this double team?

Sandman then tosses MARV to the mat, before getting met with a thumb to the eye from Simon, then the countdown starts.

COACH
Here comes another one, Cole!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

The Church of Hot Addiction hits, and the arena fills with boos as James Blonde jogs through the curtains and towards the ring.

COLE
Another member of Cucaracha Internacional, James Blonde!

COACH
One-third of the six-man tag champs!

Blonde slides in the ring as Simon is working over Cortez, and attacks him from behind.

COLE
And Blonde coming to the aid of his stablemate, Todd Cortez!

Blonde hammers Simon on the back, as Cortez comes to.  Blonde then holds Simon for Cortez, who lays in some shots to the midsection.

COACH
And if these two can keep working together, this will be a big advantage for Cucaracha Internacional!

COLE
And that's long been a problem for that stable, particularly when Todd Cortez is involved!

Blonde and Cortez back Simon into a corner, and each lift a leg, attempting to force him over.

COACH
Well, maybe they can get rid of Simon here!

Cortez pushes back on the forehead of Simon, as he and Blonde lift him up by the legs, but MARV makes the save, hammering Cortez in the midsection.  Blonde then attacks MARV, as Sandman comes over and grabs Cortez.  When he does, Blonde tosses MARV over the top to the apron, then jumps Sandman from behind.

COLE
And now it's the two CI guys doubling up on the Deadly Alliance member!

COACH
And he could go here!

Cortez and Blonde have Sandman set up on the ropes, as MARV comes back after Blonde, and Simon reaches through the middle and top rope, grabbing Sandman by the head.  Sandman manages to maneuver himself between the ropes and back into the ring, as Cortez stomps away at him, and Simon chokes.

COLE
Sandman able to hang on, but still taking a beating!

MARV has Blonde set up on the ropes, as the countdown begins once again.

COLE
#6, coming up!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

No Chance in Hell by Bradley Royds hits, and Cuban Wall makes his way down the aisle.

COLE
And here comes last year's winner of the Lethal Rumble!  He'll have to last a long time if he hopes to repeat, the Cuban Wall!

Wall takes his time getting to the ring, and steps inside, spinning MARV around, and executing the WALLBREAKER~!!!.

COLE
And getting started right away!

Wall then flattens Sandman with a BIG BOOT~!  Simon charges, but gets scooped up, and hit with a shoulder breaker!

COACH
Cuban Wall looking really good in there so far!

Blonde and Cortez hammer Wall from behind, then set him up on the ropes.  They whip him across, setting up for a double clothesline, but Wall runs right through them with one of his own!

COLE
Wall's gone through them all!

Wall makes his way over to MARV, and scoops him up, moving to a corner with him, but MARV slips behind the back, and shoves Wall into the corner!  MARV then hits Wall with a dropkick!

COLE
But MARV fighting back, has got the big man stunned!

Simon chokes Cortez on the mat, as Sandman rolls to the outside.

COLE
Sandman on the outside here...

COACH
What's he doing?

Sandman flips the ring apron up, and rummages underneath the ring, until he finds a garbage can full of assorted goodies!



GARBAGE DAY~!!!

COACH
Uh-oh!

Sandman rolls back inside, then empties the trashcan out in the corner, before raising it in the air, and bringing it down on the back of James Blonde!

COLE
And the Heartland champion marking his territory here!

Sandman then raises the can again, and slams it onto the head of Wall!  He then tosses it into the hands of Simon, before driving it into his face with a YAKUZA KICK~!  Sandman then walks over and grabs a KENDO STICK which was laying on the mat!  He delivers a shot to the shoulder of Cortez, then one to the back of MARV, as another count begins.

COACH
I pity whoever's being counted down at #7!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats plays, and Biff Atlas walks slowly through the curtains and towards the ring.

COACH
Oh, poor Biff!

COLE
Biff Atlas, with the not-so-lucky number 7!

Biff jogs slowly to the ring, and rolls inside, as Sandman is choking Cortez with the kendo stick.  Biff takes a couple steps around MARV, and lays in a stomp, and another...before Sandman whacks him over the head with the kendo stick, sending him backwards over the top rope to the floor!

COLE
Nice knowin' ya, Biff!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1st elimination: Biff Atlas
entered: #7
time in ring: 0:09
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Sandman9000
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Simon Singleton, MARV, James Blonde, Cuban Wall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COLE
We may have seen a record set right there, as Biff is out as fast as he got in there!

Sandman then stalks Blonde, who executes a drop toe hold, sending Sandman into the trashcan!

COACH
Nice move there by James Blonde!

Blonde then grabs a road sign which was inside the trashcan, and brings it down on the back of Sandman!  Cortez joins the assault, while in another corner, MARV and Simon each have a leg of Cuban Wall, and are trying to dump him out.

COLE
Cuban Wall's repeat bid could be in jeopardy here!

Wall manages to escape, as Blonde and Cortez once again try to dump Sandman to the outside.  Wall makes his way over to help, hammering Sandman's midsection with right hands.  Simon comes from behind and grabs a leg of Blonde, attempting to dump him, as well, at which point Cortez releases and drills Simon with a right hand.  Sandman snakes back through the ropes, where MARV meets him with a chokehold.  Wall turns his attention to Cortez, hammering him with soupbones from behind, as the count begins once again.

COLE
Sandman continuing to escape elimination, as we're ready for #8!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

by David Guetta plays, and Spencer Reiger twirls onto the scene.

COLE
Spencer Reiger!  Big opportunity for this young man!

Reiger saunters down the aisle, then rolls inside, and grabs MARV from behind.  He pulls back for a right hand, but MARV blocks, and fires off with rights of his own!

COLE
But right away, Spencer gets caught!

MARV whips Reiger into the ropes, and backs in himself, catching Reiger with a flying forearm!  Reiger rolls into the ropes, and MARV charges, but runs into Reiger's elbow!

COACH
And now MARV gets caught!

Spencer takes MARV over the top to the apron with a hiplock, then waits for him to get to his feet, and executes an ENZIGURI~!, causing MARV to somersault off the apron to the floor!

COLE
And MARV is eliminated!  What a move by Spencer Reiger!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2nd elimination: MARV
entered: #4
time in ring: 8:33
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Spencer Reiger
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Simon Singleton, James Blonde, Cuban Wall, Spencer Reiger
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reiger celebrates his feat, but is ambushed by Sandman, as Blonde executes a LIONSAULT~!!!111 on Simon!

COLE
And there's a Lionsault from James Blonde to Simon Singleton!

Cortez and Blonde then pick up Simon, and pitch him over the top to the floor!

COLE
And Simon is gone!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3rd elimination: Simon Singleton
entered: #3
time in ring: 10:50
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Todd Cortez, James Blonde
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, James Blonde, Cuban Wall, Spencer Reiger
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blonde also celebrates...but his fate is different than that of Reiger, as Cortez suddenly grabs him and tosses him to the floor!

COACH
What the hell?

COLE
Cortez just eliminated James Blonde!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4th elimination: James Blonde
entered: #5
time in ring: 7:02
eliminated: Simon Singleton (co)
eliminated by: Todd Cortez
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Cuban Wall, Spencer Reiger
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blonde is in disbelief on the floor, as he shouts insults at Cortez.  Wall hammers Cortez from behind, then whips him into the ropes, and attempts a big boot, but Cortez ducks, and executes a CROTCH-DROPPAH~!

COLE
And Cortez stays on the offense, with his inverted atomic drop on Cuban Wall!

Reiger then jumps across the ring with a trashcan lid, connecting with the head of Wall!

COACH
And look at Spencer making use of the weapons!

Reiger then picks up the kendo stick, and drives it into the gut of Cortez, then down onto the back!  Reiger then raises the stick in the air, and turns around, only to be met by Sandman, who drives a foot into the gut, and drills him with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111

COLE
Sandman with the Archangel's Wings, as the count begins to #9!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

hits, and the crowd comes to its feet.

COLE
Uh-oh!

The dancers lead DJ Giant Jesus into the entryway, and they put on a brief dance routine, before making their way towards the ring.

COLE
Another hot newcomer, 453 pounds, 7 feet tall, DJ Giant Jesus!

DJ Giant Jesus pulls himself onto the apron, and climbs over the top rope, as everyone in the ring looks on.  Sandman makes the first move, but gets floored by a double forearm body check!  DJ Giant Jesus then blocks a right hand from Wall, and delivers a HUGE headbutt!  Big boot for Cortez!  Reiger is just coming to, as DJ Giant Jesus sizes him up, then lifts him high over head.

COACH
Oh no, Spencer!

DJ Giant Jesus carries Reiger to the side of the ring, and tosses him all the way down to the floor!

COLE
Oh my God!  Spencer must have been 15 feet in the air!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5th elimination: Spencer Reiger
entered: #8
time in ring: 2:35
eliminated: MARV
eliminated by: DJ Giant Jesus
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Cuban Wall, DJ Giant Jesus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone backs off once again, as Sandman attempts to communicate.

COACH
I think Sandman's trying to pull everyone together here against this big monster!

Sandman, Cortez, and Wall slowly move in on DJ Giant Jesus, then after a few seconds, quickly pounce, and go to his legs.

COLE
And they're gonna try to dump the big man!

However, after a few seconds struggle, DJ Giant Jesus reaches down and shoves all three men off!  All three men move in individually once again, and are all turned away with right hands and headbutts!  They then back off again as the count begins.

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

Rock Your Baby by George McCrae hits, and the effects kick in, as Vinny Valentine struts through the curtains.

COLE
Very confident, Vinny Valentine coming out, but I think he'll want to wipe that expression off his face when he sees what awaits him!

Tony Tourettes follows Vinny out and down to the ring, where he slides in and spots DJ Giant Jesus, and begins to strike up a conversation.

COLE
What do you think Vinny's saying to him?

Vinny suddenly backs off, and breaks into a dance routine.

COACH
I think they're going to have a dance-off!

Tony joins in as well, moving his ass back and forth violently and spinning around in a circle.  Vinny then stops and points to DJ Giant Jesus.

TONY
TOP THAT, YOU FAT FUCK!

DJ Giant Jesus then begins to dance, winning the cheers of the crowd.  When he turns his back to Vinny, Vinny comes from behind and lays a forearm into his back, which of course has no effect.  

COACH
Vinny, what are you doing?

DJ Giant Jesus slowly turns around, then grabs Vinny by the face and pie-faces him over the top rope!

COLE
I think we have a winner in our dance-off!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6th elimination: Vinny Valentine
entered: #10
time in ring: 0:44
eliminated: none
eliminated by: DJ Giant Jesus
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Cuban Wall, DJ Giant Jesus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As DJ Giant Jesus turns around, Cortez tosses the trashcan across the ring at him, then Sandman starts hammering him with the kendo stick!

COLE
And now these guys pulling out all the stops!

Wall joins in with a road sign, as they all hammer DJ Giant Jesus down to the mat.

COACH
Well, they took him down, but they've got to take him up and over the top rope!

The three other combatants lifts DJ Giant Jesus up off the mat, and set him up on the ropes, but once again, he manages to fight his way free, as the countdown begins once again.

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

[Chanel #99]

The crowd looks into the entryway, but no one walks out.

COACH
...is anyone coming?

COLE
I don't see anyone!

Cut back to the ring, where DJ Giant Jesus is looking out to the entryway.  As he does this, Wall attacks him from behind, but DJ Giant Jesus turns around and clotheslines him to the mat.  He then goes after Sandman and Cortez, when suddenly, Black Sweat plays over the speakers.

COACH
Oh, for fuck's sake.

The crowd goes crazy, as MISTER Warrior runs down the aisle, and rolls into the ring.  He looks at DJ Giant Jesus. then raises his arms in the air and pumps them up and down.  He runs to the ropes, past DJ Giant Jesus, then ducks a clothesline, and hits one of his own!

COLE
And a big clothesline from MISTER Warrior!

MISTER Warrior backs into the ropes, and hits a second clothesline, staggering DJ Giant Jesus into the ropes, then pounds on his chest, before backing into the ropes and hitting a third clothesline, bending DJ Giant Jesus over the top rope and lifting his right leg in the air, at which point Sandman, Cortez and Wall all swarm in.

COACH
Oh, he could go here!

Sandman and Cortez grab the right leg, and Wall lifts the left leg as MISTER Warrior pushes, and the four men force DJ Giant Jesus OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!

COLE
And he does!  DJ Giant Jesus is gone!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7th elimination: DJ Giant Jesus
entered: #9
time in ring: 4:36
eliminated: Spencer Reiger, Vinny Valentine
eliminated by: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Cuban Wall, MISTER Warrior
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Cuban Wall, MISTER Warrior
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MISTER Warrior pumps his arms in the air once again, until Sandman blasts him from behind with the kendo stick!  MISTER Warrior falls into the ropes, then turns around, and is drilled by a Cuban Wall boot, sending him over the top to the floor!

COLE
And there's gratitude for you in the Lethal Rumble!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8th elimination: MISTER Warrior
entered: #11
time in ring: 0:52
eliminated: DJ Giant Jesus (co)
eliminated by: Cuban Wall
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Cuban Wall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cortez is choking Sandman in a corner, and Wall slowly makes his way over and grabs him from behind.  Wall hammers Cortez on the back, then sets him up for a powerbomb onto the trashcan!

COLE
And Wall looking to powerbomb Cortez onto that trashcan!

However, Cortez blocks and executes a backdrop!

COLE
But it's Wall who goes crashing into the trashcan!

Sandman follows up by slamming the road sign into Wall, then goes back to Cortez as the count starts.

COLE
And this will be #12!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

hits, and Denzel Spencer runs to the ring.

COLE
Denzel Spencer's had some big wins as of late, could tonight be the biggest win of all?

Spencer slides in, and delivers right hands to Sandman.  He then delivers a foot to the gut, and hits him with a SCISSOR KICK~!

COLE
Denzel with a scissor kick on Sandman, and you got to think time is going to start catching up with Sandman and Todd Cortez before too long!

COACH
That's right, those are the two men who started this match, and we've been out here over 20 minutes now!

Spencer then attempts an Irish whip on Wall, but Wall reverses.  Spencer bounces off the ropes, then slides under the legs of Wall, and hits him with a dropkick!

COLE
And a nice dropkick!

Spencer picks up Wall, and sets him up on the ropes, lifting his left leg and attempting to dump him over.

COACH
I think Denzel's gonna need some help if he wants to get the big Wall out of there!

Wall gains his senses, and clubs Denzel on the back.  He then whips Denzel into a corner, and follows him in with an AVALANCHE~!

COLE
And a big avalanche from the Cuban Wall!

Sandman and Cortez fight over a suplex, which Cortez eventually wins, setting Sandman up in the corner.  Cortez then tries to follow Sandman up, but Sandman shoves him off.  Sandman then steps to the top rope, and jumps off at Cortez, but Cortez catches him with a shot to the gut!

COLE
Sandman caught there, as we count it down again!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

Breathe by Fabolous hits, and the Mad Cappa runs down to the ring.

COACH
And here's the Mad Cappa making his yearly appearance!

Cappa slides in, and takes Wall down by the legs, then starts slugging away at thim.

COLE
And going right after Cuban Wall, the biggest man out there!

Cappa picks up Wall, and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a spinning wheel kick!

COLE
Nice spinning wheel kick by the Mad Cappa!

Cappa then cuts off a double axhandle attempt by Sandman, and delivers a right hand to the gut, followed by an inverted atomic drop!  Cappa then backs into the ropes, and floors Sandman with a clothesline!  Cortez then hits Cappa from behind, then whips him into the ropes, catching him with a SITOUT SPINEBUSTER~!

COLE
Sitout spinebuster, trademark move of Todd Cortez!

Meanwhile, Denzel and Sandman have Wall set up in a corner!

COLE
And look at this!  Denzel and Sandman working together trying to dump the Cuban Wall!

Denzel has the right leg, and Sandman has the left, and Denzel reaches up and pushes back on Wall's head.  Soon after, Sandman reaches over and decks Denzel with a right hand!  Wall comes down to the mat, and decks Sandman with a right, knocking him to the mat!

COLE
Well, I'm not sure what Sandman was thinking right there, but Wall is out of trouble now!

As Wall assaults Sandman in a corner, Denzel makes his way over to Cortez, and picks him up from behind in a back suplex, attempting to dump him to the floor!

COLE
And now Todd Cortez in trouble!

Cappa gets to his feet, and goes after Wall, as Cortez reaches down and rakes the eyes of Spencer.  Cappa sets up an Irish whip on Wall, who reverses.  Cappa ducks a clothesline, but Wall catches him with a BIG BOOT~!

COLE
Wall with that big foot to the face of Cappa!

COACH
Just in time for another man!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

It's Not My Time plays, and Tim Cash walks through the curtains, waving to the fans.

COLE
Hey, it's Tim Cash, Wrestling's Last Real Good Guy!

COACH
Well, good guys finish last in this match, Cole!

Cash walks down the aisle, slapping hands with fans, switching sides every few seconds.

COLE
And he's taking his time to get into the match, too!

Cash takes a lap around the ring slapping hands, then climbs inside and gets ambushed by Wall.  Wall whips Cash into the ropes, but Cash ducks a boot, then floors Wall with a dropkick!

COLE
Tim Cash in with a nice dropkick!

Cash then floors Cappa with a clothesline!  As Wall gets to his feet, Cash calls over Denzel, and the two join to execute a double bodyslam on Wall!

COLE
Nice double slam!

Cash extends a high ten, and Denzel accepts.  Cortez then goes after Denzel, while Sandman attacks Cash.  Assaults occur in opposite corners, then Sandman and Cortez execute Irish whips.  Denzel and Cash meet mid-ring and DO-SI-DO~!, and both hit jumping back heel kicks on their senders!

COLE
Look at that!

Cash and Denzel then attempt to dump Sandman and Cortez, respectively!

COLE
And the first two entrants into the match now in big trouble!

Sandman goes to the apron, as Cash pushes with everything to shove him off, but Sandman hangs on.

COACH
Look at that, Cash is the freshest guy in the ring, and is giving Sandman, who's been out there since the beginning, everything he's got, and can't get him out!

Meanwhile, Cortez has evaded elimination, as well, as he and Denzel are choking one another while laying on their sides, as the countdown begins.

COLE
And we're about to reach the halfway point!  #15, coming up!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!


"THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..."

*DUN DUN*

"...IS..."

*DUN*

"...HERE!"

With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, Know Your Role 2000 plays, and Tha Puerto Rican makes his way to the ring.

COLE
And here he comes!  Tha Puerto Rican making his return to the OAOAST!

COACH
And he better watch his back, Mr. Dick is still in the building!

PRL runs to the ring, and slides inside, spinning around Cuban Wall, and delivering right hands!

COLE
And right after his former stablemate!  The runner-up of last year's Rumble, slugging it out with the winner!

Wall takes a big swing at PRL, but PRL ducks, and hits him with a superkick, sending him into the ropes, then follows up by clotheslining Wall over the top to the floor!

COLE
And Cuban Wall is eliminated!  A small measure of revenge for PRL, seems to be a running theme tonight!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9th elimination: Cuban Wall
entered: #6
time in ring: 18:09
eliminated: DJ Giant Jesus (co), MISTER Warrior
eliminated by: Tha Puerto Rican
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Denzel Spencer, The Mad Cappa, Tim Cash, Tha Puerto Rican
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRL then turns around, and locks eyes with Cappa.

COLE
And PRL and Cappa have locked eyes!  Long-time rivals, set to do battle here!

PRL and Cappa move in on one another, and Cappa throws the first punch!  The two do battle, and Cappa gets the better of the exchange, then whips PRL into the ropes.  He drops down, and PRL hops over, then ducks a clothesline, and delivers a kick to the gut, setting up the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!11111

COLE
PRL setting him up!

However, Cappa blocks, and backdrops PRL over the top rope!

COACH
He's out!

However, PRL hangs onto the top rope, and stays on the apron, then rolls back inside, and grabs Cappa from behind, tossing him over the top!  However, Cappa also hangs on, and rolls back in, and he and PRL clothesline each other!

COLE
Double clothesline, both men down!

Cash hammers away on Cortez, as Denzel attempts to dump Sandman.

COLE
And Sandman in trouble once again!

Cash executes a gutwrench suplex on Cortez, then goes over and helps Denzel, as the countdown begins.

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

Final Ride hits, and the arena fills with boos as Reject makes his way through the curtains, led out by Melissa Nerdly.

COACH
Uh-oh!

COLE
And here comes the second Deadly Alliance member to enter the match, one half of the tag team champions, Reject!

Reject plants a big one on Melissa, then rushes down to the ring.  He slides in, and makes the save for Sandman, driving a knee into the back of Denzel, then hammering Tim Cash with right hands.

COLE
And right away, Reject coming to the aid of his stablemate, Sandman9000!

However, Cash begins to fight back, delivering rights of his own, then a foot to the gut.  He runs to the ropes behind Reject, and hits him with a BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK~!

COLE
Cash with that spinning wheel kick to the back of the head!

Cash then waits on Reject to pull to his feet, and when he does, hands him a foot, and attempts an enziguri...but Reject ducks, then as Cash comes back to his feet, hits him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111

COLE
And Cash gets hit with the Eulogy!

Reject sits on the mat for a few seconds, then gets to his feet and picks up Cash, tossing him to the outside!

COACH
He's outta here!  Go shake some more hands!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~
10th elimination: Tim Cash
entered: #14
time in ring: 4:13
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Reject
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Denzel Spencer, The Mad Cappa, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~

Reject and Sandman then go to work on Denzel, as Sandman holds him back for some kicks from Reject.  Reject and Sandman back Denzel into the ropes, then whip him across, and drop him with a double elbow!

COLE
And now the two Deadly Alliance members sticking together!

Reject then stomps PRL as he attempts to pull himself up on the ropes.  Sandman knocks Denzel to the mat once again, then responds to Reject's call for help, as the two attempt to dump PRL!

COLE
And PRL could be in trouble here!

Cappa makes his way over, and rakes Reject's eyes from behind, as Cortez gives Sandman another hand.  However, PRL slides through the bottom and middle rope as another countdown starts.

COLE
And this will be #17!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

Makes Me Wonder plays, and Tyler Bryant runs to the ring to the high-pitched screams of the ladies.

COLE
Tyler Bryant, looking perhaps for a big boost for a solo career, winning the Lethal Rumble!

Bryant slides in, and grabs Cortez from behind, assaulting him in a corner.  He attempts an Irish whip, which Cortez reverses.  Bryant jumps to the second ropes, then does the AUBURN HILLS FAKEOUT~!, sending Cortez dropping to the mat, before climbing to the top, and hitting Cortez with a missile dropkick!

COLE
Nice fakeout by Tyler, and a great dropkick!

Tyler celebrates his move, as the fans cheer him on, then picks up Cortez, and tosses him over the top!  However, Cortez hangs on once again!

COACH
But how about Cortez and Sandman?  Still hanging in there!

COLE
It's been over half an hour now for those two!

Bryant spots Cortez on the apron, and tries to shove him out with his feet.  However, this opens himself up for Cappa to drive in an elbow!

COACH
Tyler left himself wide open right there!

Reject delivers right hands to PRL, who starts to fire back, and a slugfest ensues!

COLE
Big slugfest going on, PRL against Reject!

PRL gets the better of the exchange, then backs into the ropes and hits a spinning wheel kick!

COLE
DODGE THIS, BITCH~!

PRL then grabs Reject and attempts to dump him over the top!

COLE
And now going for the elimination!

Sandman comes over to help Reject, but Denzel cuts him off, hitting him with a spinkick!  He then assists PRL in attempting to dump Reject!

COLE
Two guys working trying to get Reject out of there!

Reject drops to the apron, as Bryant sits on the mat and tries to shove him off.  Cortez comes over and grabs Bryant in a choke/sleeper, while Sandman comes to and rakes the face of both PRL and Denzel.

COLE
But the Deadly Alliance sticking together!

Reject slides back inside, and trips up PRL, then chokes him on the mat.  Cappa hammers away on Cortez, while Denzel and Sandman go at it.  Cappa tries to dump Cortez, as the count begins...

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

Rebirthing by Skillet hits, and Lunar Phoenix makes his way through the curtains, an arrogant grin on his face.

COACH
Phoenix!

COLE
Two of the last three winners of this match have drawn #18, can Lunar Phoenix become the third?

Phoenix stops at the front of the entryway, then jogs the rest of the way to the ring, and slides inside.  Phoenix stands back as Cappa is still attempting to dump Cortez, then once he has a shot, drills Cappa with a SUPERKICK~!!!111, sending him over the top of Cortez all the way to the floor!

COLE
And Phoenix getting to work right away, eliminating the Mad Cappa!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11th elimination: The Mad Cappa
entered: #13
time in ring: 10:15
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Lunar Phoenix
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Todd Cortez, Denzel Spencer, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Tyler Bryant, Lunar Phoenix
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phoenix then goes after Bryant, delivering a shot to the gut, followed by a snap suplex.  He picks Tyler back up, and dumps him over the top rope, but Tyler lands on the apron.  But before Phoenix can attempt to shove him off, he is grabbed from behind by Denzel, who delivers a European uppercut, then executes a back suplex!  Meanwhile, in a corner, Cortez is attempting to dump Sandman over.

COLE
And here we are again, the two men who started this match, going at it!

PRL charges at Reject in a corner, but Reject gets his foot up!  Reject sinks to his knees, then notices Sandman on the brink, and pops back up to deliver a shot to the gut of Cortez.

COACH
But there's Reject again!  Where there's one, there's usually another!  Cortez should have thought about that before he double-crossed James!

Reject helps Sandman down, and the two make their way back to PRL, working him over in a corner.  Bryant works on Cortez, while, Denzel scoops up Phoenix for an attempted elimination!

COLE
And Denzel's got Phoenix on the ropes!

Phoenix, hanging upside down, delivers a shot to the groin of Denzel, then reaches down to the apron, using it to push himself back inside.

COACH
And you can't bitch about it in this match, Cole!

Reject and Sandman hoist PRL for elimination once again, as the countdown begins...

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

A cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way.

"Come on God, Answer Me.
For Years, I've Been Asking You Why?
Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive?
Where is Justice? Where is Punishment?
. . . . . . . . . . .
Or Have You Already Answered?
Have You Already Said to the World,
Here is Justice. Here is Punishment.
Here....
In Me."

Punishment by BIOHAZARD plays, and the crowd gets up for Brock Ausstin, as he does his HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! in the aisle.

COLE
Here's a guy with a great chance coming out at this time!  The Current Big Thing, Brock Ausstin!

Brock jogs to the ring, and hops onto the apron, then climbs inside and catches Reject and Sandman coming at him with a double clothesline!

COLE
Big double clothesline!

Brock then catches Denzel with a clothesline!  He then scoops up Phoenix, and executes the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111

COLE
F-Stunner-5 for Lunar Phoenix!

He then sizes up PRL, and executes an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY~!  After he gets to his feet, Sandman reaches up and takes him down by the knee, as Cortez and Bryant hammer him on the back, and Sandman holds his legs as Cortez, Bryant, and Reject stomp away on him.

COACH
We'll stop that momentum in a hurry!

COLE
Brock came in like a house afire, but the other combatants have joined to extinguish those flames!

PRL sneaks in some kicks, as well, as Reject and Sandman pick up Brock, and prop him up in a corner.  Reject lays in a CHOP~!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

And another!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

And another!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

As PRL and Phoenix slug it out, Reject and Sandman each grab a leg, and attempt to force Brock to the outside!

COLE
And now they're going to try to dump the big man out!

Brock struggles, and eventually manages to free himself by hammering Reject with his right arm, then delivers a big right to the gut of Sandman.  He then grabs the heads of Reject and Sandman, and rams them together!

COLE
The old double noggin knocker!

Meanwhile, Denzel and Bryant work over Cortez, as the countdown begins.

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

hits, and Nathaniel Black runs to the ring.

COLE
2/3 of the way through the field with another Cucaracha Internacional member, Nathaniel Black!

Black slides into the ring, and hammers on Bryant from behind, then executes a HAMMERLOCK DDT~!  He then grabs Denzel, and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a BLACK LARIAT~!

COLE
Nathaniel Black making a big entrance, coming to the aid of his stablemate, Todd Cortez!

Cortez comes to, and assists Black, as they attempt to dump Bryant to the floor!

COLE
And now they've got Tyler Bryant in trouble!

Denzel comes to Bryant's aid, ramming the heads of Black and Cortez together!

COLE
But there's Denzel Spencer!

Reject and Sandman continue to work over Brock, while Phoenix chokes PRL in a corner.  Denzel gives Cortez one of his feet, then turns over and does a somersault on the mat, using his leg to drag Cortez across the ring!

COLE
Denzel with another nice move on Cortez, who along with Sandman is closing in on the 40-minute mark!

Cortez lands at the feet of Reject, who stomps away, until Denzel comes over and rakes Reject's eyes from behind.  Meanwhile, Phoenix scoops PRL up and sets him across the buckles!

COLE
And Phoenix looking once again to dump the former World champion!

Black makes his way over to give Phoenix a hand, but Bryant follows over and hammers away on Black.  PRL lifts his right leg up and hammers Phoenix repeatedly with it until Phoenix releases his hold, then PRL slips back into the ring, as the count begins...

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

[Chanel #99]

*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!*

COLE
OHHH YEAH!

The crowd erupts as Liberate by Disturbed kicks in, and Bohemoth walks through the curtains.

COLE
One of the odds-on favorites, representing the In-Crowd, Bohemoth!  And a great draw at #21!

Bo runs to the ring, and slides through, where Reject awaits.  Bo quickly wins a slugfest with Reject, then shoves him backwards into the ropes, and catches him with a SPINEBUSTER~!

COLE
Big-time spinebuster!

Bo then delivers a forearm to Todd Cortez, staggering him backwards into the ropes, then follows him in, clotheslining him to the floor!

COLE
And Todd Cortez is finally gone, courtesy of Bohemoth!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12th elimination: Todd Cortez
entered: #2
time in ring: 38:26
eliminated: Simon Singleton (co), James Blonde, DJ Giant Jesus (co)
eliminated by: Bohemoth
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Denzel Spencer, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Tyler Bryant, Lunar Phoenix, Brock Ausstin, Nathaniel Black, Lunar Phoenix, Bohemoth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bo starts handing out clotheslines like candy!  Phoenix!  Denzel!  Sandman!  Bryant!  He then grabs Black, and executes a running powerslam!  He then gets to his feet, to spot Brock Ausstin staring him in the eyes, as the crowd starts to buzz.

COLE
Big-time staredown right here!

As the two stare each other down, PRL then steps into the scene.

COLE
And now a three-way staredown!

Brock and Bo both look over to PRL, who responds by throwing up the "Killa B" hand sign in both men's faces.

COACH
Uh-oh!

PRL steps back, then Brock starts doing his Happy Happy Hoss Dance, before pointing in the face of PRL, then pointing in the face of Bo, before holding his hands in front of him, and making the motion as if he's bending a bar.

COACH
Nothing fancy with Brock Ausstin!  "I'm gonna bend you in half!"

Bo responds to that by holding a thumbs up in the face of each man, then bringing the THUMBS DOWN~!

COLE
And the big thumbs down!

Brock throws a right hand at Bo, who blocks, and returns one of his own!  PRL then delivers right hands to Bo, as Brock shakes the blow off, and delivers a double axhandle to the back of PRL!  He then grabs Bo by the neck, and both men roll into a corner, each attempting to choke the other out.  PRL rakes the eyes of Brock from behind, as another count begins.

COACH
Who's coming out #22?

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid comes through the curtains and jogs down to the ring.

COLE
And it's Thunderkid!  So both tag team champions will be in the ring at the same time, a big advantage!

TK slides in, and drives a knee into the back of Bryant, who was attempting to dump Reject over the top.

COLE
And as expected, right to the aid of his partner!

COACH
And Sandman still out there, too, so there's a good chance now that all four Deadly Alliance members could be out there at once!  If that happens, I've got to think one of them will be the one headed to AngleMania!

Reject holds Bryant, while TK lays in body shots.  Denzel comes from behind TK, and spins him around, delivering right hands, but TK quickly overpowers him.

COACH
Denzel's been out there for quite a while, he's not going to win a slugfest with a fresh TK, or against TK under any circumstance, for that matter!

COLE
It's been a little over 20 minutes for Denzel Spencer, a nice showing on his behalf, as well!

Black has PRL in the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING~!!!!!11111, as Phoenix stomps away on him.

COACH
Look at this, Black with the chicken wing on PRL!  I love it!

COLE
And Lunar Phoenix with a little insult to injury, stomping away as PRL is trapped in the hold!

Bo knocks Phoenix to the mat, then stomps Black until he breaks the hold.  However, he is then ambushed by TK and Reject, who bring him to the ropes and attempt to dump him over!

COLE
And the tag team champs have got Bo in trouble!

Phoenix comes over the give TK and Reject a hand, but soon after, Bryant hammers on the back of Reject, and that's enough for Bo to push himself back inside.  He knocks TK off with a right hand, then delivers a foot to the gut of Phoenix, followed by a clothesline, as the count begins.

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

"We're running with the Shadows Of The Night
So baby take my hand, you'll be alright
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They'll come true in the end"

COACH
Oh yeah!  Prepare for Landon!

As

plays, Landon walks out into the aisle and holds his arms out to the side.

COLE
Another favorite to come out the winner here, Landon Maddix, the leader of Cucaracha Internacional!

Landon walks down to the ring, then climbs up the steps and steps through the ropes.  He nails Denzel from behind, then sends him into the ropes, and catches him coming back with a THESZ PLANT~!

COLE
Landon with that modified Thesz press!

He then gets to his feet, and starts pounding on the chest of Brock Ausstin, which has no effect.

COLE
And Landon could be in trouble right here!

Landon backs off, as Brock stalks him around the ring, until Black trips him up by the legs, then Landon starts to stomp away on his head.

COLE
But there's Nathaniel Black, coming to the aid of his stablemate!

Bryant attacks Landon from behind, leveling him with right hands, but Landon goes to the eyes.  He whips Bryant into the ropes, and attempts a clothesline, but Bryant ducks a clothesline, and hits one of his own!  He follows with a dropkick!  He then charges Landon, but Landon ducks, and backdrops Bryant to the floor!

COLE
And there goes Tyler!  He went for a big move on Landon, but Landon avoids the move, and sends Tyler packing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
13th elimination: Tyler Bryant
entered: #17
time in ring: 13:24
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Landon Maddix
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Denzel Spencer, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Lunar Phoenix, Brock Ausstin, Nathaniel Black, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Denzel comes from behind Landon as he celebrates his feat, and attempts to dump him to the floor!

COLE
Landon in trouble, as we're ready for another one!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

I Wanna Be Your Dog hits, and Ragdoll makes his way through the curtains, as the crowd goes crazy.

COACH
Uh-oh!

COLE
The hits just keep on coming!  Ragdoll, the reigning Intercontinental champion, entrant #24!

Ragdoll slowly walks to the ring, then slides inside, and starts dishing out right hands to anyone who gets in his way!  He catches Reject in a corner, and unleashes an assault of fists, forearms, and elbows!  He then turns his attention to Phoenix, drilling him with a spinning back elbow, then measuring him, and clotheslining him over the top to the floor!

COLE
Oh no!

COACH
And Ragdoll has just eliminated Lunar Phoenix!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
14th elimination: Lunar Phoenix
entered: #18
time in ring: 12:42
eliminated: The Mad Cappa
eliminated by: Ragdoll
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Denzel Spencer, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Nathaniel Black, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Ragdoll
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Landon hammers Ragdoll from behind, but Ragdoll quickly turns the table, assaulting Landon in the corner just as he had done Reject before.  He then chokes Landon down into the corner, before Black comes from behind and rakes his eyes.  PRL then comes from behind Black, and hammers him on the back.  TK chokes Bo with his boot in a corner, as Sandman stomps away on Brock, and Reject attempts to dump Denzel over the top.

COLE
Denzel's been out there a long time, maybe he goes right here!

Denzel slips back in, and Reject stomps away on him, as Sandman leaves Brock and helps TK work over Bo, as another count begins.

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

by ZZ Top plays, and Christian Wright makes his way through the curtains.

COLE
A member of the Enterprise, Christian Wright, getting a very nice draw here!

Wright runs to the ring and slides in, then goes to work on Brock Ausstin, stomping away on him in the corner.  Meanwhile, TK and Sandman have Bo set up in a corner!

COLE
Bo in trouble once again!

Wright comes over, and helps TK and Sandman, but Brock comes to, and hammers Wright from behind, then Sandman lets go to go after Brock.  Bo is able to fight his way free against TK.  Sandman and Wright double team Brock, until PRL makes his way over and hammers away on Wright.  Meanwhile, Denzel is working over Landon in a corner, and Reject makes his way over and delivers a kick to the face of Denzel, then takes over on Landon in the corner.

COACH
Look at this, Reject against Landon!

Reject lays in a CHOP~!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

And another!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

Reject brings Landon out, and attempts a Irish whip, but Landon blocks, then pulls Reject into him, scooping him up for the GO 2 SLEEP~!!!!!11111

COLE
Landon going for the GTS!

However, Reject slips behind, then spins Landon around, and attempts the EULOGY~!!!!!11111, but Landon shoves him off, right into a SPEAR~!  from Ragdoll!

COLE
Ragdoll with the MANHUNT on Reject!

Sandman is choking away on Wright in a corner, while Brock takes over on Ragdoll, lifting him overhead for a PRESS SLAM~!

COACH
This could be it for Ragdoll!

However, Ragdoll reaches down, and pokes Brock in the eye, then slips behind the back!  Meanwhile, Black attempts to lock in the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING~!!!!!11111 on Denzel, but before he can get the fingers locked, Denzel spins out, then backdrops Black to the floor!

COACH
What??

COLE
Denzel just eliminated Nathaniel Black!

COACH
That's got to be a major upset right there!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
15th elimination: Nathaniel Black
entered: #20
time in ring: 11:40
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Denzel Spencer
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Denzel Spencer, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Ragdoll, Christian Wright
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black is shown on the floor looking up in disbelief, as the countdown starts.

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

If you are what you say you are
A superstar
Then have no fear
The camera's here
and the microphones and they wanna know
Oh oh oh yeah

Superstar plays as Ned Blanchard runs to the ring.

COLE
And it's the other half of the Beverly Hills Blonds, Ned Blanchard!

Ned slides in, and starts slugging it out with Christian Wright!

COACH
And you knew this was coming!

COLE
Ned battling it out with his former stablemate, Christian Wright!

Ned gets the better of the exchange, then takes him into a corner, and rams his head into the buckles, as the crowd counts along!

1!!!

2!!!

3!!!

4!!!

5!!!

6!!!

7!!!

8!!!

9!!!

10!!!

Wright drops to the mat, as Sandman approaches Ned, but gets met with a shot to the gut.

COACH
And how about Sandman, still in there!

Ned whips Sandman into the ropes, and catches him with a back drop!  Landon then spins Ned around from behind, and throws a right hand, but Ned ducks, and scoops Landon up, attempting to eliminate him!

COLE
And Landon Maddix in trouble!

Denzel comes over to assist Ned, but Wright drives a knee into the back of Ned, breaking everything up.  Landon goes to the apron, then rolls back inside and hammers Denzel in the gut from the mat.

COLE
And Landon able to save himself, much like we've seen Sandman do for 50 minutes upon the next entry, which will be #27!

Wright stomps away on Ned, as Reject and TK double up on PRL.  Ragdoll chokes Sandman on the mat, as Brock and Bo go at it in a corner.

COLE
And Brock Ausstin and Bohemoth, the two big guys, going at it once again!

Reject and PRL once again scoop up PRL!

COLE
PRL in trouble again!

COACH
TK and Reject are really going at PRL here!

Wright comes over to help, but takes a low blow from Ned!  Sandman and Landon come over to help, as well, while Denzel hammers on Sandman.

COLE
They're all cluttered up on that one side of the ring!

Denzel then tries to dump Landon over the top of PRL!

COLE
And now Landon's going again!  This could be two at a time!

Landon grabs onto PRL's leg, and both men fall to the apron simultaneously, as the count begins...

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!

by LA Symphony hits.

COLE
Oh my God...

Faqu walks through the curtains and toward the ring.

COACH
Another member of Cucaracha Internacional!

Faqu climbs into the ring, and hammers everyone in the group attempting to dump PRL and Landon.  He then grabs Denzel, and delivers a big headbutt, followed by a thrust kick!  He then scrapes Denzel up, and tosses him over the top to the floor!

COLE
And Denzel is gone!  An excellent run by Denzel Spencer, but the fresh Samoan Wrecking Ball just too much!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
16th elimination: Denzel Spencer
entered: #12
time in ring: 30:29
eliminated: Nathaniel Black
eliminated by: Faqu
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Ragdoll, Christian Wright, Ned Blanchard, Faqu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COACH
And also Faqu getting revenge for the elimination of Nathaniel Black!

Faqu then delivers a big chop to Ned, then a Samoan drop!  Big headbutt for Sandman!  Thrust kick for PRL!  He then assaults Bo in the corner, but Bo fights back!

COLE
Faqu going after everyone, but look at Bo fight back!

Bo wins the slugfest, then backs into the ropes, but Faqu catches him with a Samoan drop!

COLE
And look at the show of strength by the Samoan Wrecking Ball!

Faqu gets to his feet and lets out a big yell, before Ragdoll hits him with a LOW BLOW from behind!

COLE
And Ragdoll coming from behind with a low blow!

COACH
That might be the only thing that slows down Faqu right now!

Immediately, Sandman pounces onto Faqu, choking him, and executing BOOT SCRAPES~! as the countdown begins...

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

hits, and Colin Maguire Jr. runs through the curtains and towards the ring.

COACH
Alright, Colin!

COLE
Colin Maguire Jr., #28!  Terrific opportunity for the relative newcomer!

Colin slides in, and hammers away on Ned, then hits him with an IRISH SUPLEX~!

COLE
Colin uses a lot of suplexes, and he just used one there on Ned Blanchard!

Colin then goes to work on PRL, whipping him into the ropes, and catching him with a clothesline!

COLE
Nice clothesline by Colin Maguire Jr.!

Colin then goes over and helps Wright attempt to dump Brock over the ropes!

COLE
And now teaming up in an attempt to eliminate Brock Ausstin!

Brock manages to fight it off, then hammers away on Colin and Wright!  Brock then hooks Colin, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~!

COLE
Big-time suplex by Brock Ausstin!

TK, Reject and Sandman stand back in a corner, as Ned makes his back over to Wright.  A slugfest ensues, won by Ned, who then tries to dump Christian!

COLE
Christian Wright in trouble!

After a brief struggle, Wright rakes Ned in the eyes, then slips down behind him, and takes him down with an STO~!  Sandman goes after Bohemoth, while TK and Reject go over to Ragdoll, and overpower him in a slugfest, as the countdown begins.

COLE
#29, the real lucky guys, coming up!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

Like the Angel by Rise Against plays, and MEL runs to the ring.

COLE
And it's MEL, the other half of the Christ Air Express!

MEL slides in, and goes after Landon, taking him down from behind, and laying in right hands.

COLE
The #29 entrant, the Christ Air Express's MEL!

COACH
And you know who #30 is now, right?

COLE
A huge advantage for Alfdogg, who will be the final entry, and will have the support of all three of the Deadly Alliance's other entrants!

MEL whips Landon into a corner, and executes a backdrop!  However, he turns around right into Faqu, who catches him with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~!

COLE
Oh, Faqu is dominant in there!

Bo comes into the scene and clotheslines Faqu, staggering him into a corner.  He then drives in knees, as Landon jumps onto his back, and rakes his eyes.  Meanwhile, PRL has got Reject in trouble, while Brock hammers TK in a corner!

COLE
And look at Reject in trouble!

PRL manages to send Reject to the apron, but Reject hangs onto the top rope, keeping his feet from hitting the floor.  He rolls back in, as Colin hammers away on PRL.  PRL fights back on Colin, hitting him with right hands, then taking a step back and hitting a SUPERKICK~!

COLE
Nice kick from PRL, making a nice showing in his return to the ring!

TK pulls Reject over into a corner, where Sandman also stands.

COACH
And you notice the Deadly Alliance has stuck together!

COLE
And they'll be adding another member in just a few seconds!

10!!!


9!!!


8!!!


7!!!


6!!!


5!!!


4!!!


3!!!


2!!!


1!!!


BUZZ~!!!

Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg walks through the curtains.

COLE
And here he is, the only man to compete in every single Lethal Rumble match, getting the best draw of the night!  Alfdogg could go onto AngleMania VIII, and could become a three-time OAOAST World champion!

Alf takes his time, walking slowly to the ring, and surveying the scene, then climbs inside into the corner which the Deadly Alliance occupies.

COACH
And I think these guys are getting ready to take control here, Cole!

Ned has Wright set up for a piledriver, but Alf connects from the side with a SUPERKICK~!

COLE
And Alf strikes with a big kick on Ned!

Alf then scoops up Ned, and pitches him over the top to the floor!

COLE
And Ned is gone, at the hands of Alf!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
17th elimination: Ned Blanchard
entered: #26
time in ring: 8:46
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Alfdogg
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Ragdoll, Christian Wright, Faqu, Colin Maguire Jr., MEL, Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COACH
We've still got a lot of guys in there, Cole!

COLE
I'm counting 13 guys on my list, four of them from the Deadly Alliance, and one of those, the #1 draw, Sandman9000, who has been in there since the very beginning, 57+ minutes now!

COACH
Got two from Cucaracha Internacional, Landon and Faqu...Christian Wright from the Enterprise...

COLE
We've also got Tha Puerto Rican...

COACH
:throwup:

COLE
Bohemoth, representing the in-crowd...Colin Maguire Jr., MEL of the Christ Air Express...

COACH
Ragdoll still out there, as well, the Intercontinental champion!

COLE
And one of them will challenge for the OAOAST World title at AngleMania VIII!

The Deadly Alliance discusses some strategy in a corner, as Colin takes down Bo with a chop block, then chokes him on the mat.  PRL battles it out with MEL, while Brock slugs Faqu down in a corner, and Ragdoll presses his knee into the face of Landon.  MEL then attempts to dump PRL!

COLE
And look at this!  MEL has got PRL going!

With PRL halfway over the ropes, Wright sneaks up from behind, and dumps both over the top!  MEL goes down to the floor, but PRL manages to hang on with one hand on the middle rope and one foot on the apron!

COLE
Wright going for the double elimination there, but only eliminates MEL!  PRL still in there!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
18th elimination: MEL
entered: #29
time in ring: 3:49
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Christian Wright
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Ragdoll, Christian Wright, Faqu, Colin Maguire Jr., Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wright celebrates his feat, until Landon sneaks up from behind, scoops him up...and executes the GO 2 SLEEP~!!!!!11111

COACH
Whoa!

COLE
Landon with the GTS on Christian Wright!

COACH
CI vs Enterprise!

Brock then comes from behind Landon, and scoops him up onto his shoulders!

COLE
F-Stunner-5, coming up!

However, Faqu save his leader, delivering a thrust to Brock's throat!  Faqu then lets out a yell, and clotheslines Brock to the floor!

COLE
Big clothesline from Faqu, and Brock is gone!

COACH
Wow!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19th elimination: Brock Ausstin
entered: #18
time in ring: 23:56
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Faqu
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Ragdoll, Christian Wright, Faqu, Colin Maguire Jr., Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faqu then lets out another yell, before catching Bo with a back kick to the gut.  Landon joins in on the assault, as the two hammer on Bo.  PRL and Wright slug it out, as do Ragdoll and Colin.

COACH
No love lost between Colin and Ragdoll!

COLE
And this time, the stakes a spot in the main event at AngleMania!

Faqu holds Bo for Landon, who runs to the ropes, and goes for a clothesline...but Bo slips out of the way!  However, Landon stops at the last second, and doesn't make contact.

COLE
And Landon able to stop himself right there!

Landon points to his head, telling people how smart he is, then turns around as Bohemoth charges in, and CLOTHESLINES BOTH LANDON AND FAQU TO THE FLOOR!

COACH


COLE
And look at the strength of the Metrosexual Monster!  Landon gone!  Faqu gone!  Nine men left!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
20th elimination: Landon Maddix
entered: #23
time in ring: 16:55
eliminated: Tyler Bryant
eliminated by: Bohemoth

21st elimination: Faqu
entered: #27
time in ring: 9:02
eliminated: Denzel Spencer, Brock Ausstin
eliminated by: Bohemoth
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Ragdoll, Christian Wright, Colin Maguire Jr., Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bo lets out a yell, as Wright approaches him, and gets floored by a forearm!  PRL then picks up Wright, and pitches him out to the floor!

COLE
And Christian gone, that'll make it eight!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
22nd elimination: Christian Wright
entered: #25
time in ring: 13:23
eliminated: MEL
eliminated by: Tha Puerto Rican
currently in ring: Sandman9000, Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Ragdoll, Colin Maguire Jr., Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COACH
And look at the scene, Cole!  Eight men left, and still all four Deadly Alliance members!

COLE
The Deadly Alliance currently with a 50% chance of sending one of their members to AngleMania!

The camera pans around the ring, showing the Deadly Alliance in one corner.

COLE
We've reached the one-hour mark in the Lethal Rumble match, and Sandman9000 still out there!  Could he take his undefeated run through AngleMania and challenge for the World title?  Or will it be Alfdogg, looking to duplicate Zack Malibu's achievement of three OAOAST World titles?

COACH
And you know Reject would love to get another crack at Leon!

COLE
And imagine what a World title would do for Thunderkid's career!

The camera goes to the next corner, where Colin Maguire Jr. stands.

COLE
An admirable performance from CMJ, only been here a few months, but he is one of the final eight men in the Lethal Rumble!

Pan over to Ragdoll, on his right knee in the corner, with his right hand on the mat.

COLE
Ragdoll, sizing up the competition, it could easily be him challenging Leon Rodez, or whoever the champion may be!

Cut to Bo, standing at the ropes between two corners.

COLE
Bohemoth could make it an all In-Crowd main event, and could become the third In-Crowder to hold the sport's biggest prize!

Cut to PRL in the final corner.

COLE
And Tha Puerto Rican, this would be an amazing comeback bid if he could win here tonight, and earn a rematch with Leon Rodez!

The eight men start to move in on one another, and Colin strikes the first blow, attacking Ragdoll in one corner, while the DA splits off in twos, with TK and Reject attacking PRL, and Alf and Sandman going after Bo!

COACH
Nice strategy here by the Deadly Alliance, doubling off on both Bo and PRL!

COLE
Nice strategy, but Colin IMO should have gone for one of the Deadly Alliance guys!

COACH
Yeah, real smart, jump into a group of four guys and start swinging!  I'm glad you're not a manager!

TK and Reject stomp PRL into the mat, then TK hammers Colin from behind.  TK sets up a back suplex, but Colin flips behind the back, and shoves TK into the ropes, catching him with the CAMBRIDGE CURSE~!!!111

COLE
And there's that stun gun from Colin!

Colin gets to his feet, and PRL meets him with a kick to the gut, followed by the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!11111

COLE
P.R. Nightmare from PRL to Colin!

Bo stands behind PRL, waiting, then hits him with the EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!!!!!11111

COACH


COLE
And PRL gets taken down by Bo!

Reject waits from behind Bo, and hits him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111

COLE
And the Eulogy from Reject!

COACH
This is great, Cole!

Alf gains his balance on the top rope, and hits PRL with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111

COLE
Alf strikes with the splash on PRL!

Ragdoll strikes immediately, drilling Alf with the DEVIL DOLL~!!!!!11111

COLE
DEVIL DOLL~!  Ragdoll out of nowhere!

Sandman then delivers a foot to the gut, and plants Ragdoll with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111

COACH
And look at Sandman, still dishing out big moves!

Sandman sits on the mat for a few seconds, as Reject helps TK come to.  Reject picks up Ragdoll, and TK lifts him in a hangman's hold.  Reject measures, and delivers a STIFF roundhouse kick to the abdomen!  TK then works over PRL, as Sandman goes over and lifts Bo up off the mat.  Sandman hooks Bo, grabbing one arm...but Bo breaks the grip, and BACKDROPS SANDMAN TO THE FLOOR!

COACH
Oh no!

COLE
And Sandman is finally gone!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
23rd elimination: Sandman9000
entered: #1
time in ring: 62:47
eliminated: Biff Atlas, DJ Giant Jesus (co)
eliminated by: Bohemoth
currently in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Ragdoll, Colin Maguire Jr., Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COLE
Almost 63 minutes of fighting, but Sandman9000 finally done in by Bo!

Meanwhile, PRL ducks a clothesline from TK, and hits him with a superkick, sending him backwards over the top to the floor!

COLE
And Thunderkid gone!  The Deadly Alliance, just like that, from 4 down to 2!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
24th elimination: Thunderkid
entered: #22
time in ring: 22:53
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Tha Puerto Rican
currently in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Reject, Bohemoth, Ragdoll, Colin Maguire Jr., Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRL goes to work on Alf, as Reject stomps away on Bo.  PRL grabs Alf, and drives him with the LATIN SLAM~!, as the crowd starts to boo.

COLE
Wait a minute!

The camera cuts to the aisle, revealing Mr. Dick making his way down.

COACH
I told you, Cole, this wasn't over!

Mr. Dick stops at the end of the aisle, holding his arms out, as PRL spots him.

COLE
And he's got PRL distracted here!

PRL and Mr. Dick jaw jack at ringside for a few seconds, then Mr. Dick comes to the apron, and starts to climb, then hops back as PRL tries to take a swat at him.  Alf gets to his feet in the ring, as PRL backs up a step, right into Alf, who grabs him from behind and pitches him to the floor!

COLE
Wait a minute, NO!

COACH
:headbang:

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican eliminated, thanks to Mr. Dick!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
25th elimination: Tha Puerto Rican
entered: #15
time in ring: 37:42
eliminated: Cuban Wall, Christian Wright, Thunderkid
eliminated by: Alfdogg
currently in ring: Reject, Bohemoth, Ragdoll, Colin Maguire Jr., Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COACH
He had it coming, Cole!  He had no business getting involved in Mr. Dick's World title shot!

PRL charges after Mr. Dick, taking him down in the aisle, as officials pour out of the locker room to separate them.

COLE
PRL is livid, and I don't blame him!

It takes three or four officials to hold each guy back from the other, and they are both ushered off into the locker room.  Meanwhile in the ring, Colin has Ragdoll scooped up, and dumps him over the top, but Ragdoll holds on, and manages to counter Colin to the floor!

COLE
And Colin Maguire Jr. eliminated!  Nice showing by the young guy, making it all the way to the last five men!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
26th elimination: Colin Maguire Jr.
entered: #28
time in ring: 12:20
eliminated: none
eliminated by: Ragdoll
FINAL FOUR: Reject, Bohemoth, Ragdoll, Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COLE
And now, it's the Final Four!  Bohemoth!  Alfdogg!  Reject!  Ragdoll!  Which of these men will challenge for the OAOAST World title at AngleMania VIII?

Alf and Reject move in from one side of the ring, and Alf goes after Bo, while Reject goes after Ragdoll.  Reject backs Ragdoll into the corner, and delivers a CHOP~!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

However, Ragdoll fires back, hitting Reject with forearms and right hands!  He then whips Reject across, and floors him with a flying axhandle!

COLE
Ragdoll taking control of Reject here, and what a match that would be, Leon vs Ragdoll!

COACH
Any one of these guys would be a great match for Leon!

Alf goes after Ragdoll next, but Ragdoll catches him with a shot to the gut, then whips him hard into a corner.  Ragdoll attempts a hurricanrana...but Alf blocks halfway through the move, then steps in between his legs, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111

COLE
Sharpshooter on Ragdoll!

Alf cranks back on the hold, as Ragdoll reaches for the ropes.  Bo comes to his senses, and clotheslines Alf from behind.

COACH
That's a cheap shot!

COLE
Bo comes to the rescue, indirectly, of Ragdoll right there!

Bo scoops up Alf, looking for a running powerslam,  but Alf slips behind the back, shoving him into a corner, then catches him with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~!  He then comes from behing Ragdoll, delivering a low blow!

COLE
And Alf with a low blow to Ragdoll!

Reject immediately follows with the EULOGY~!

COLE
And the Eulogy from Reject!

Alf and Reject pick up Ragdoll, and scoop him up for a double slam, carrying him to the ropes.  Ragdoll fights it for several seconds, but is eventually overpowered by the two DA members, and dumped to the floor!

COLE
Ragdoll is gone!

COACH
Three guys left!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
27th elimination: Ragdoll
entered: #24
time in ring: 21:51
eliminated: Lunar Phoenix, Colin Maguire Jr.
eliminated by: Reject, Alfdogg
currently in ring: Reject, Bohemoth, Alfdogg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COLE
And the odds do not look good right now for Bophemoth!

Bo looks on as Alf and Reject approach from different sides.  Bo switches off nailing both guys, but Alf ends up trapping Bo by his tights from behind, as Reject lays in some blows.  Alf and Reject send Bo into the ropes, and catch him with a double clothesline!  Reject then hooks Bo, as Alf taunts the crowd, drawing boos.  Alf backs into the ropes...but Bo moves out of the way, and ALF HITS REJECT, sending him over the top rope!

COACH
No!

COLE
Miscommunication between Alf and Reject, and Bo back in control!

Reject lands on the apron, as Bo hammers away on Alf.  Bo sets Alf up for a powerbomb, but Alf drops down, and executes a LOW BLOW~!  Alf then takes Bo over to the ropes, attempting elimination!

COLE
Could Bo be the next to go!

Reject gets to his feet in the ring, and just stands in the background.  He looks to both sides of the crowd...then sneaks up from behind, and DUMPS ALF TO THE FLOOR~!

COACH
Oh, no!

COLE
Reject just eliminatied Alf!  Can you believe that?  We're down to two!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
28th elimination: Alfdogg
entered: #30
time in ring: 11:04
eliminated: Ned Blanchard, Tha Puerto Rican, Ragdoll (co)
eliminated by: Reject
currently in ring: Reject, Bohemoth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=

Reject thinks he's eliminated both guys, and starts to celebrate, but Bo has just gone to the apron, and rolls back inside and comes to his feet.  Reject and Bohemoth stare each other down briefly from across the ring.

COLE
Two men left!  The Deadly Alliance vs the In-Crowd!  Reject vs Bohemoth!  Which one of these men will go on to AngleMania?

Reject charges, and throws a right hand, which is blocked, and a slugfest ensues!  Bo gets the better of the exchange, then whips Reject into the ropes, and attempts a PRESS SLAM~!, but Reject slips behind the back, and tries for the EULOGY~!!!!!11111, but Bo blocks, shoving Reject into the ropes, and clotheslines Reject to the mat!

COLE
Bo strikes the first big blow!

Bo then whips Reject into a corner, and charges, but Reject gets a foot up!  Reject then climbs onto the shoulders of Bo, and rolls over into a victory roll, then gets to his feet, hooks Bo's legs, and turns him over into the R-LOCK~!!!!!11111

COACH
R-Lock!

Bo crawls to the ropes, then grabs the middle rope, and uses the momentum to pull Reject over the top rope!  Reject hangs on, as Bo puts his hands on his knees in the middle of the ring, and skins the cat, then comes back in and tosses Bo over the top!

COLE
Ooooh, not quite!

Bo narrowly avoids the floor, then rolls back inside and quickly gets to his feet, catching the charging Reject with a SPINEBUSTER~!

COLE
And Reject gets caught!

Bo picks up Reject, and THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR~!!!!!

*DING DING DING*

COACH


COLE
REJECT IS GONE!  BOHEMOTH!!!  BOHEMOTH IS GOING TO ANGLEMANIA!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
29th elimination: Reject
entered: #16
time in ring: 40:59
eliminated: Tim Cash, Ragdoll (co), Alfdogg
eliminated by: Bohemoth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

********************************************************************************
WINNER: Bohemoth
entered: #21
time in ring: 31:02
eliminated: Todd Cortez, Landon Maddix, Faqu, Sandman9000, Reject
********************************************************************************

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen...the winner of the Lethal Rumble match...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

COLE
Bohemoth has done it!  He has reached the top of the mountain, and he is on his way, to AngleMania!

COACH
You know what this means, Cole!

COLE
Absolutely, if everything stands, it will be In Crowd vs In Crowd at AngleMania, Bohemoth challenging Leon Rodez for the OAOAST World title!

Confetti pours from the ceiling, as Bo poses on the buckles.  The camera shows a dark shot of Reject walking back to the locker room.

COLE
And credit to Reject, as well, he was out there over 40 minutes, and was with INCHES of winning this thing!  But it didn't happen for him, and that's the man of the hour right there, the Metrosexual Monster, Bohemoth, headed to AngleMania VIII!  Ladies and gentlemen, for the Coach, I'm Michael Cole!  We'll see you on HeldDOWN~!  Whenever that is!

The camera shoots up from the floor at Bo posing on the buckles as we...

FADE TO BLACK