The Great Angle Bash 2003

[Chanel #99]

The Great Angle Bash, the embodiment of triumph, courage, blood, sweat, tears, and all that ever made wrestling worth everything. Besides Anglemania, no one event is captures the spirit.

An event that never was, but that always is.

A dare to a dream.

An unheard whisper.

That feeling of slow creep up the back of a neck.

The possible. The impossible.

The possibility.

The Great Angle Bash

[Chanel #99]

Cole: Okay folks, it's time for Shattered Dreams and Alix Spezia versus the team of Choko and Slacker.

Coach: How come you said Choko's name before Slacker's. You said Shattered Dreams' name before Alix's but Choko comes before Slack daddy. Why?

Cole: Does it matter? Honestly. Fans, this feud has been a wild ride...

Coach: Tell me about it! The feud started over XM radio and penis pumps. Then it went on to broken noses and plastic surgery.

Cole: Yeah, then you and I had to get involved in one of their matches. You KO'ed the Slacker!

Coach: Got that match on tape.

Cole: I bet you watch it every night. Moving on, we've seen the introduction of Choko and Alix Spezia.

Coach: One half of that last sentence is hot, the other half is a freak.

Cole: Puhleeze! Finally, we've seen Shattered Dreams morphing into, I'm going to be honest here, an arrogant, self centered S. O. B. He claimed that Slacker's jealous of him and that Slacker will never be successful in this business. I have to believe that Slacker needs to win this match in order to build himself back up in the fans eyes. Because we've yet to see a serious rebuttal against Dreams' claims from the Slacker.

Coach: Oooooh, rebuttal. Big word. Who you think you are? Mark Twain?

Cole: Ugh. Let's get ready for the match.

"Sweet Dreams" by Marylin Manson plays over the speaker. The fans sit silent until Dreams and Alix come out from the crowd, then they attempt to boo them the fuck out of town. OAOAST security has to prevent a few drunken fans from attacking Dreams and Alix. When the couple hops over the railing, they're pelted with beer cans and cotton candy.

Coach: New music for my main shorties. Holla! The crowd likes them so much that they're giving them free cotton candy!

Alix holds the ropes so Dreams can enter the ring without trouble. He climbs to the top rope and blows a kiss to the crowd.

Cole: I don't like him. Never have. Never will.

"Back up" by 12 stones plays and the crowd greets the duo of Slacker and Choko with a melting pot of reactions.

Cole: Weird some people boo the Slacker and cheer for Choko. Other's cheer for them both. However, No one is booing Choko.

Coach: Do you have some sort of ability that allows you to differentiate between boo's for Slacker and Choko. Because all I hear is, 'ahhhhh' and 'ooooo', and some 'blaaaaaa's'.

Cole: Stop it.

The announcer rings the bell and the match is underway

Trash talking by Dreams leads to a slap in the face from the Slacker. Dreams pushes Slacker to the ground and hits a Superman pose. Slacker takes out Dreams with a double leg take down. Stomps by Slacker followed by a couple of elbow drops. Slacker goes for a Crossface but Dreams bails.

Cole: I suppose you'll find some way to defend this act of cowardice

Coach: It's all part of the master plan. All part of the master plan.

Back in, Dreams hits a gutwrench suplex. Slingshot splash by Dreams gets a one count. The two men brawl for a bit until Dreams bails.

Cole: It's a tag team match, couldn't he just tag Alix if he doesn't want to fight?

Back in, Dreams hits Flatliner. Slacker powers out of an armbar and gets a neck vice. Dreams gets out of that and catches Slacker with a Pumphandle back breaker. Tag to Alix.

Crowd: Alix does anal! Alix does anal!

Alix goes to the top rope and hits a moonsault. Tag to Dreams. Pin attempt 1....2....kick out.

Cole: I hardly think a glorified splash from 105 lb woman is going to put away the Slacker.

Slacker's comeback attempt is halted with a T-bone suplex. Underhook suplex by Dreams gets a two count. Dreams argues with the ref. Roll up by Slacker gets a one count. Tag to Choko

Crowd: Go Choko! Go! Go Choko! Go

Dreams ducks a lariat but gets hit with drop kick. He tries to bail but Choko stops him with a chop block. German suplex attempt by Choko gets rolled into a pin that gets a one count. Arm drag takedown into an armbar by Dreams.

Coach: The plan comes to fruitation!

Cole: Don't you mean fruition?

Choko fights out of the armbar but gets dumped out of the ring for her trouble. Alix slams Choko into the steel steps face first while Dreams hits a body builder pose.

Coach: Such form. Such poise. Such grace. 8.8!

Back in the ring, Dreams gets scoop reverse DDT. Dreams rips the cover off of the turnbuckle and makes the tag to Alix. Big Al slams Choko's head into the exposed turnbuckle TEN FUCKING times drawing blood and boos from the crowd. Alix rakes her nails across Choko's wound drawing even more blood. Choko howls in pain while Dreams laughs like drunken hyena and Alix licks her fingers.

Cole: This is sick. They think this is some sort of game? Some sort of joke? She's just a kid for goodness sakes! Show some mercy. Show some heart.

Coach: Mercy wasn't part of the plan.

Alix tosses Choko shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Choko falls out of the ring and Dreams slams her face first into the steel steps. He rolls her back into the ring and Alix locks on a not-so mega magical sharpshooter. Choko makes the ropes. Alix hits a series of Facecrushers on Choko leaving smatterings of her blood across the ring.

Cole: Never has such a pedestrian move meant so much.

Coach: All part of the plan.

Cole: Shut up about your damn plan. A seventeen year old girl is bleeding in the ring and all you can talk about is some stupid plan and try to act like you're hip. You make me sick.

Coach: It was just a joke

Alix rakes Choko's face across the ropes. Alix hits a diamond cutter and locks on a Texas Cloverleaf, but Choko is to close to the ropes. Alix nods suggestively to Dreams. The former child model pulls some sort of packet out of his pocket and tosses it to Alix. Alix giggles as she opens the packet and dumps the contents on Choko's bloody forehead.

Coach: Wait a minute....That's salt! She's pouring salt Choko's bloody head!

Cole: Rubbing salt in Choko's wounds? Despicable. That's low. Even for pro wrestling, even for Shattered Dreams and Alix Spezia, that's low.

Coach: Despicable but kind of clever.

Alix smears the salt across Choko's wound. Choko summons the last of her strength to softly cry out to the Slacker. He tries to get into the ring but the ref is holding him back. Alix hits a diamond cutter and tosses Choko to the outside where Dreams hits her in the face with a chair. He spits on Choko before rolling her back into the ring. Alix smiles sadistically as she rubs the heel of her shoe into Choko's wound.

Cole: This isn't even a wrestling match. This is a god damn slaughter, and I'm sick to my stomach from watching it. Alix and Shattered Dreams get off on toying with and hurting people, and that's exactly what they're doing right now. I hope they're happy. I hope all the blood thirsty cretins at home are happy.

Alix makes the tag to Dreams who saunters into the ring. Dreams gives Slacker the finger and hits Choko with a Breakdown. Slacker tries to charge the ring but once again the ref halts him. Dreams just shakes his head and grins.

Coach: I've got to say one thing, at least Slacker looks like he's finally interested in something.

Dreams gingerly picks away at the lose skin on Choko's forehead. He gathers the skin in his hands and walks over to Slacker

Dreams (throwing Choko's skin at Slacker): This is for breaking my nose!

Dreams (throwing another piece): This for the $8,000 surgery!

Dreams (throwing another piece): This is for being an ugly sonofa bitch!

Dreams (throwing the final piece): This is for the wild ride Choko gave me last night.

Slacker: You're lying!

Dreams: You'll never know that. Will you?

Dreams stands Choko up and starts to French kiss her. Choko tries to get away but Dreams is holding on too tight. The audience boos and some members of the crowd have to be restrained by security as they try to hop the railing and enter the ring. Dreams throws Choko to the ground and kicks her in the face.

Dreams: Who's gay now? Huh? Huh? Faggots.

Cole: I can't stand it! I can't stand it!

Dreams goes for a powerbomb but Choko jumps out of it and DDT's him. The move stuns Dreams long enough for Choko to crawl to her corner

Cole: Hurry up Choko. Slacker reach out farther. She needs your help!

The hot-tag is finally made to Slacker.

Coach: Not part of the plan! Not part of the plan!

Slacker enters the ring and glares at Dreams. Dreams tries to tag Alix but she jumps off the apron. Dreams begs for mercy but Slacker remains silent. Dreams creeps closer to Slacker and tentatively offers his hand in friendship.

Crowd: Beat his ass! Beat his ass! Beat his ass!

Slacker smiles at Dreams and gives him a hug. That hug is turned into a belly to belly suplex.

Cole: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Coach: No! No! No!

Dreams gets destroyed with a MONSTER LARIAT!!! Slacker hops on top of him and proceeds to BEAT THE SHIT out of him with closed right fists. Slacker starts to bite Dreams but the ref pulls him off. Dreams tries to bail but Slacker kicks him straight in the face. Dreams falls to the ground and clutches his nose. Slacker lifts Dreams up and sends him crashing back down with a MOTHERFUCKING STIFF POWERBOMB. AND ANOTHER ONE. AND ANOTHER ONE. AND ANOTHER ONE IN CASE YOU MISSED IT THE FIRST THREE TIMES! Slacker gives the signal and Dreams is destroyed by a Slack off. Pin attempt 1.........2.........3.......4.......5.......6

Announcer: Your winners....The Slacker and Choko.

The ref tries to raise Slackers hand but gets crushed with a SLACK OFF!!

Cole: The moral of today's match, we reap what we sow. Am I correct? I think Shattered Dreams would say I am

Coach: Thank you Aseop.

The Slacker helps Choko back into the ring and raises her hand in victory. Choko falls into Slacker's arms as paramedics rush to the ring. Slacker refuses to let them help his partner. He heads to the back with Choko held tightly in his arms, and the crowd showing much love and respect for the girl.

Crowd: Go Choko! Go! Go Choko! Go!

Cole: Shakespeare couldn't have written it any better.

Coach: Dude...

[Chanel #99]

WELCOME TO THE GREAT ANGLE BASH!

JR: Fans, we're starting things off with one of the best feuds to date in the OaOasT, a unification match pitting ShooterJay against PRL!

Jesse: PRL is coming home with both belts tonight!

*The arena goes dark. The crowd cheers because it can only mean a few things. A single spotlight shines in the center of the ring. The crowd cheers as the spotlight shows two belts hanging from the center of the ring. Those belts are the OaOasT North American Championship and the Puerto Rican Championship. The belts are dangling on a hook about 10 feet above the ring. The crowd cheers as it can only mean one thing. The camera then heads to the entrance as a ladder is shown in the middle of the aisle.*

JR: And now folks, it is time for the OaOasT IntenseZone main event!

Jesse: That’s right JR! It is time for Puerto Rican Lightning to prove to The Lightning Crew, to all the millions watching around the world on pay-per-view and here in Tampa, that he IS better than “Shooter” Jay Darring! He IS the best Puerto Rican Champion in history! He IS the best OaOasT star today!

JR: Well, PRL will have to win this match to prove that. Folks, it is now time for the Ladder Match for the North American AND Puerto Rican Championships! This is sure to be a slobberknocker folks!

*DING DING DING*

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest…is the LADDER MATCH for both the OaOasT North American and Puerto Rican Championships! The rules of the match are as follows: the wrestler who grabs BOTH BELTS will become a double Champion!

*The crowd cheers. *

Jesse: PRL will become a double champion tonight!

JR: Not if Jay Darring has anything to say about that!

*A lightning bolt hits the entrance. Fireworks shoot from the sides of the entrance. The crowd boos as they know it can only mean that one person is coming out to the ring.*

Jesse: You know what that means, Jim Ross!

JR: Unfortunately.

*Fog and smoke cover the entrance. On the AngleTron, a Puerto Rican Flag is shown waving proudly. In big blue blocky letters the words PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING appear. The crowd boos as “Bulls on Parade” by Rage Against The Machine starts up. The crowd starts booing with some starting the “P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!” chants. Smoke and fog cover the entrance and from it enters the one and only Puerto Rican Lightning. He does the Curt Henning gum swat as the crowd greets the Puerto Rican Champion with boos and jeers. He just evilly smiles it off and from behind him comes PRL’s right hand man, Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who is wearing a forest green vest and pants. Her hair is down and she is wearing hoop earrings and a gold necklace. She has black heel boots on and is smiling as PRL puts his arm around her and begins walking to the ring with Vitamin X next to him and Mr. Boricua following behind. Puerto Rican Lightning is wearing his special PPV-Only face paint with the Puerto Rico flag covering his face in Sting-like makeup.*

*DING DING DING*

Ring Announcer: Now coming down the aisle, weighing in at 223lbs. Accompanying to the ring by the Lightning Crew. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. He is the Puerto Rican Champion, PUERTO RICAN LIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTTTNNNNNINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

*The crowd boos the moment his name is mention as The Lightning Crew continue their walk to the ring. PRL is cocky as usual and jaws with several fans as he enters the ring. He, wisely, doesn’t walk underneath the ladder before he enters the ring as he yells out “You don’t fool me twice in a lifetime!”*

Jesse: PRL wisely not walking underneath the ladder. I’m telling you, this is his night, Jim Ross! Puerto Rican Lightning will become the OaOasT North American Champion tonight! I can feel it!

JR: Puerto Rican Lightning no stranger to the Ladder Match. Puerto Rican Lightning has been in several ladder matches in his career. He has wrestled them in Puerto Rico in the International Wrestling Association, the IWA: Puerto Rico league and in Mexico.

Jesse: He also wrestled in a Ladder Match the night he won the Puerto Rican Championship.

JR: IT WAS A LIE!!!

Jesse: No, it’s not! PRL told me so.

*Puerto Rican Lightning enters the ring and does the HBK pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd cheers the pyro but boo as Lightning hits a turnbuckle and raises his fists in the air. He then heads to the outside to jaw with several fans and waits there while “Bulls on Parade” by Rage Against The Machine dies down. The lights go back on but then turn off again. The crowd cheers as they know it can only mean one thing (and yes I know I’ve said that one too many times in this match before it even begins).*

Jesse: And here comes the loser!

JR: You mean the champion!

Jesse: No, the loser of tonight’s match!

*The crowd cheers as PRL sneers. “Cloud Connected” by In Flames starts up. The crowd pops for the theme music. Then, navy blue, flashing spotlights begin coming out after the first notes of the song. The crowd cheers wildly as from the entrance comes “Shooter” Jay Darring all by himself. He is wearing his leather bomber jacket and Matt Murdock style sunglasses and acknowledges the fans cheers by raising his fists in the air. Unlike, PRL, Jay walks underneath the ladder. With a determined look on his face, he begins walking down to the ring, his theme music playing the entire time.*

Ring Announcer: And coming down the aisle at this time, weighing in at 173lbs. From Boston, Massachutesetts, he is the OaOasT North American Champion—“Shooter” JAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY DARRRRRRIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

JR: The crowd is solidly behind Jay Darring tonight!

Jesse: Because the fans are idiots. If they knew any better, they should be rooting for the man who is STILL the Puerto Rican Champion despite the brutal Hardcore Street Fight last Monday on IntenseZone! Speaking of idiots, does Jay relize he just gave himself bad luck by walking underneath the ladder?

JR: Jay must be confident tonight then. The only reason PRL is Champion, Jess, because of a bogus rulebook!

Jesse: It is not bogus! You must follow the rules to be Puerto Rican Champion!

JR: PRL makes me sick!

Jesse: And you make me sick also!

JR: Shooter Jay has been in several Ladder Matches also. This is his first Ladder Match in the OaOasT as well as Puerto Rican Lightning’s first OaOasT Ladder Match. The two have used the Ladder in combat against each other and it was due to that that IZ General Manager, Damien Gonzalez made this a Ladder Match.

Jesse: A GM should be unbiased. But, Jim Ross, Dames has a grudge against PRL and he is only making this match to toy with him!

*”Shooter” Jay Darring enters the ring and raises his fists in the turnbuckle. He then takes off his jacket and sunglasses as the lights go back on and “Cloud Connected” by In Flames dies down. The bell rings and PRL gets into the ring. Nervous, but he enters the ring as the camera does a close-up of the ladder in the center of the aisle.*

*DING DING DING*

JR: And here we go, folks! The Ladder Match for the North American and Puerto Rican Championships is on!

LADDER MATCH FOR THE OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN & PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIPS: “SHOOTER” JAY DARRING (North American Champion) vs. PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING (Puerto Rican Champion w/ Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, & Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez)

Puerto Rican Lightning and “Shooter” Jay Darring circle each other. The crowd is pumped up for the Ladder Match chanting “P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!” during the course of the match. Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are all surrounding the ring, giving PRL a 4-on-1 advantage in the match.

JR: This ain’t fair. The Lightning Crew is surrounding the ring while Featured Attraction isn’t.

Jesse: Hey, anything goes in a Ladder Match, Jim Ross.

PRL and Jay circle each other and lock up. They start the match by doing some amateur wrestling moves. They each try to get a hold on the other but they keep blocking. PRL with a fireman's takedown, but Jay comes back with a Belly-To-Back Suplex. Jay holds on but PRL gets up. Jay goes for a Full Nelson, but Lightning reverses and grabs Darring’s legs, sending him to the mat. He goes for a cover, but Shooter Jay gets up and the two separate. The crowd cheers and gives each man a standing ovation. Some of the crowd is chanting “Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay!”

JR: Two gifted men are giving their all.

Jesse: Wait a minute. Did you actually say something NICE about Puerto Rican Lightning?

JR: I am not denying PRL’s abilities. He is definitely a talented young man. But his attitude and flat-out arrogance is what annoys me.

PRL and SJD trash talk. They lock-up once again, and this time, Puerto Rican Lightning gets a headlock on Darring. He clenches it on but Jay Darring elbows P.R. Lightning in the stomach several times. Darring whips PRL into the ropes, but PRL comes back with his signature leapfrogs. The crowd pops for the leapfrog and pop again when Puerto Rican Lightning does the reverse leapfrog. He goes for a dropkick but Jay holds on to the ropes, and PRL lands back-first on the mat.

JR: Smart thinking by the North American Champion!

Shooter Jay grabs PRL and whips him into the ropes…roaring elbow. He picks up Puerto Rican again, and whips him into the ropes again, he bends down, but Lightning flips over his back and hits a spinning heel kick. He picks up “Shooter” Jay Darring and whips him into the turnbuckle. He follows up with a Stinger Splash. He then hits a Russian Leg sweep and heads to the ropes to drop several fists into Jay’s chest.

JR: Puerto Rican Lightning, with control early on in the match.

Jesse: That’s right, P.R.! Isn’t PRL a legend in this business! He is a great P.R. Champion!

JR: He may be the P.R. Champion, but he’s also a P.R. Menace!

Jesse: Bull!

JR: Puerto Rican Lightning with a neck breaker on Jay. Lightning—whipping Jay into the turnbuckle—wait, Jay reverses!

PRL hits the Flair Flip that lands him right on the ring apron. The crowd boos the fact that PRL actually landed fine and boo more as PRL signals to the crowd how smart he is. However, PRL doesn’t notice Jay running to the ropes and intentionally bumping into PRL sending the P.R. Menace into the barricades.

JR: Whoa! What a move by “Shooter” Jay Darring! Incredible!

Jesse: That sneak! Why couldn’t he have waited for Puerto Rican Lightning to get back into the ring!

Puerto Rican Lightning sits on the barricade for a few seconds while the Lightning Crew go over to take care of their leader. This allows Jay the perfect oppturnity to hit the ropes…Reckless Endangerment onto the Lightning Crew.

JR: RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT! RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT ON THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! JAY HAS ELIMINATED THE LIGHTNING CREW FROM THIS MATCH!

*The crowd cheers wildly. Some are chanting “Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!”*

The Lightning Crew are out on the floor. Jay gets up, a little dazed, and grabs P.R. Lightning.

JR: Jay…slams PRL’s face into the barricade. And again. And again. Jay, now throwing back Lightning into the ring. Double-Pump Brainbuster. Neither indivual able to get to the ladder yet. Jay, seems intent on softening up Puerto Rican Lightning before he heads for the ladder and the belts. Jay with the Floating Neckbreaker.

Jesse: As much as I hate Jay Darring, I have to admit, even though it pains me to say it, that Jay is being smart in this match. Softening up Lightning so he won’t be able to get Jay when Jay climbs the ladder.

JR: I just said that.

Jesse: But I said it better.

“Shooter” Jay Darring whips PRL into the ropes and hits a Yakuza kick. He then does the double-arm ddt and heads to the top rope. The crowd cheers as he waits for Puerto Rican Lightning. Jay hits the Missile Dropkick. Jay then heads to the second-rope. Second rope tumbleweed. Jay once again waits for PRL to get up. PRL does…but then Flair Flops back onto the mat making the crowd laugh.

JR: It is quite obvious now that “Shooter” Jay is in control of this match.

Jesse: PRL will find a way to come back. Trust me. He will!

The crowd cheers. The cheers become louder and crazier as Jay waits for PRL to get up. Once he does, Jay hits the Shinning Black. He then hits the DDT. He then picks up Lightning and whips him into the ropes.

JR: Whoa! A Reverse Tornado DDT! Jay could win this match! It could all be over right now!

Jesse: Jay better not get too cocky. If I know Puerto Rican Lightning, he is bound to get back in this match.

JR: Jay, picking up PRL. Ooh! Cheap shot. Lightning hits a low blow! And hits his own Shinning Wizard!

Jesse: HAHAHA!

PRL with a DDT. Puerto Rican Lightning then heads to the top rope with the boos becoming louder and louder. The crowd obviously hates the guts of the P.R. Menace. Puerto Rican Lightning comes off the top rope…with a leg drop.

JR: PRL with one of The Mad Cappa’s signature moves!

Jesse: That’s right Jim Ross. P.R. told me that he is now adding that move into his repertoire. He is now calling that move “The Mad Cappa Killer 2003”.

JR: That’s disgusting.

Jesse: The move or the name?

JR: THE NAME? What else would you think?

Jesse: Lightning also told me that he is debuting several new moves to now be included in his moveset during tonight’s match.

JR: PRL with a German Suplex. Fujiwara Armbar. We are at about the 10-minute mark and the ladder has yet to appear in this match-up. Both men seem more intent on softening each other up then getting the two belts.

The crowd boos and the “P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!” PRL yells at the crowd and tells them to shut up. The chants just continue and get louder and louder as PRL covers his ears. When that doesn’t work, he slaps himself in the forehead 4 times then grabs Shooter Jay and whips him into the turnbuckle. He chops Jay in the chest several times. The crowd “Whoos!” with each chop. PRL rips Jay’s shirt off and chops him again and again as Jay’s chest becomes red. PRL then slams Darring’s face into the turnbuckle 10 times and follows by picking Jay up and slamming his throat on the top rope.

JR: Such harsh moves by the Puerto Rican Champion.

Jesse: This match will be harsh, Jim Ross.

“Shooter” Jay Darring rests on the middle rope. PRL looks at Jay and smiles evilly. The crowd boos loudly as PRL yells out “6-1-9!” PRL heads to the ropes and hits Jay with the 6-1-9!

Jesse: There is PRL’s second new move. The 6-1-9.

JR: PRL with the 6-1-9 on Jay Darring.

Jesse: Except he calls it the Lightning Bolt.

Puerto Rican Lightning waits for Jay to get up, when he does, PRL heads to the top rope and gives Jay a hurricarana. The West Coast Pop!

Jesse: Another of PRL’s new moves. This is the San Juan Jam!

JR: The San Juan Jam!

Jesse: In honor of PRL’s hometown of San Juan, Puerto Rico.

JR: PRL is now heading to the top rope.

Puerto Rican Lightning heads to the top rope. He throws off his left elbow pad. Does the “Up Yours!” sign to the crowd then comes off the top with the FU Elbow Drop.

JR: The FU Elbow Drop. One of PRL’s signature moves.

Jesse: And now, it looks like the Ladder is ready to be use.

With “Shooter” Jay Darring down and out, Puerto Rican Lightning yells at the crowd and heads to the outside. He walks to the middle of the aisle and grabs the ladder that has been standing there since the match began. The crowd boos as PRL happily brings the ladder into the ring.

JR: And now, business is about to pick up!

Jesse: Don’t waste any time, Lightning! Get the two belts now.

JR: Those two belts. The North American and Puerto Rican Championships. Hanging 10 feet from above the ring! It is a dangerous climb for these two men!

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs the ladder and places it in the center of the ring. The crowd begins booing loudly as the P.R. Menace begins climbing to the top. The booing gets louder as PRL is almost to the top.

JR: PRL now close.

Jesse: He has it! He has it! He has it!

Suddenly, “Shooter” Jay Darring is able to get up. Before Lightning can get the belts, Jay punches PRL in his back. The crowd cheers as Jay continues punching P.R. Lightning. Finally, Jay grabs PRL’s back and brings PRL down to the mat with a back body drop. The ladder shakes but still stands as both men lie on the mat.

JR: Incredible speed from Jay Darring! He has stopped PRL from gaining the North American Championship!

Jesse: For now, Jim Ross. For now.

Both men lie on the mat. The crowd cheers waiting for one of the men to get up. By now, half the face paint on PRL’s face has disappeared.

JR: This match has already taken a toll on both men. You can see the paint on Puerto Rican Lightning’s face has disappeared.

Jesse: Both men are probably aching right now.

JR: Hopefully there aren’t any injuries in this match. PRL, the first to get up. Lightning is now grabbing the ladder.

Jay Darring is on the mat trying to get up. Puerto Rican Lightning grabs the ladder…and smashes it across the back of Jay Darring. The crowd groans as Puerto Rican once again slams the ladder across Shooter Jay’s back. He does it again and again and again. He laughs evilly as he smashes it across Jay’s back and waits for Jay to get up.

JR: BAH GAWD~! I am amazed at how Jay is not crippled from those brutal shots from the ladder by Puerto Rican Lightning! And what kind of man is PRL?

Jesse: A man who wants to win! He WANTS to become North American Champion. He WANTS to be a double champion.

JR: Puerto Rican—WHOA!!! PRL just sent the top of the ladder into Shooter Jay’s face!

Jesse: Jay may have been flattened by it.

The crowd begins booing as PRL poses for the crowd. The “P.R. Sucks!” chants begin once again as PRL waits for Jay to get up. Once he does, Lightning goes to hit Jay with the ladder, BUT Jay manages to hit P.R. with a drop toehold that sends Puerto Rican face first into the ladder! The crowd pops as Jay gets up. Jay grabs PRL and sends him into the ropes for a leg lariat. He then grabs the ladder….but Puerto Rican Lightning dropkicks him sending the ladder on top of Jay.

JR: This match has now gotten brutal with the ladder in play.

Jesse: Go PRL! GO!

JR: PRL now heading to the outside once again. A chair! PRL now has a chair.

The crowd boos again. The Lightning Crew cheer their fearless leader as Puerto Rican Lightning heads into the ring with a chair in tow. He uses the chair and smashes it into the ladder hurting Jay Darring even more, who is still underneath the ladder. The crowd boos and groans at every chair shot as PRL throws the chair away and heads to the top rope.

JR: MOONSAULT!

Jesse: Puerto Rican Lightning with a moonsault on Jay hurting Jay even more with the ladder in front of him.

JR: And probably hurting Lightning himself! Lightning looks to be in pain following that moonsault onto the ladder! The ladder has become a weapon in this Ladder Match! PRL now placing the Ladder in a turnbuckle.

Jesse: I wonder what’s next in this match?

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs “Shooter” Jay Darring and whips him into the turnbuckle. He begins stomping a mudhole in him then whips him into another turnbuckle where the ladder is placed. However, Jay reverses and PRL backflips out of the ring hitting the ladder on the way out! The sound of the ladder hitting PRL is loud enough to be heard throughout the arena. The crowd groans as PRL lies down on the floor in pain and dizzy. The Lightning Crew go to take care of him.

The crowd cheers and a chant of “Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay!” blares throughout the arena.

JR: WHAT A MOVE BY JAY DARRING! WHAT A MOVE!!! THE MATCH IS NOW ANYBODY’S!

Jesse: Jay better not get cocky!

Jay grabs PRL and whips him into the stairs. Jay then proceeds to beat on Puerto Rican for several seconds, as the paint on PRL’s face is ¾ gone. Jay throws PRL back into the ring but Mr. Boricua hits Jay in the back. Jay is quick to respond by knocking Mr. Boricua to the ground with one shot! The crowd pops for Jay’s actions as Jay grabs the ladder. Unfortunately, PRL runs to the ropes and baseball slides the ladder into Jay’s face.

JR: WHAT ANOTHER INCREDIBLE MOVE BY THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION!

Jesse: PRL HAS JAY RIGHT WHERE HE WANTS HIM!

JR: Puerto Rican Lightning. Tope’ Sucicida! WHAT ANOTHER GREAT MOVE!!!

The crowd begins chanting “Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!” Both superstars are knocked out on the floor. They get up.

PRL brawls with Jay for a bit and then heads back into the ring. He waits for Jay to get up, and when he does, PRL runs from the ropes and goes for another tope Sucicida. However, Jay is ready for this one by smashing a chair directly into Lightning’s face the moment he comes out of the ring! The crowd cheers again.

JR: WOAH!!! UNBELIEVEABLE! THESE TWO MEN CONTINUE TO AMAZE ME! Let's see the replay!

*Replay is shown of the chairshot*

Jesse: Me too, Jim Ross. These two are giving their all for a chance at the Puerto Rican and North American Championships!

JR: The ladder is on the outside the ring once again. Puerto Rican Lightning now getting up. Puerto Rican goes to hit Jay with the ladder again, but, Jay hits PRL in the stomach with a chair. He goes for another chair shot. VAN DAMINATOR!!! PRL HIT THE VAN DAMINATOR ON SHOOTER JAY DARRING!!!

The crowd is shocked at all that’s happened in this match in these past 15 minutes. PRL now grabs the ladder again and throws it into the ring. He then grabs “Shooter” Jay Darring and throws him into the ring. The crowd boos PRL. The chants of “P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!” PRL sneers at the crowd. He yells shut up at them.

Jesse: No respect. No respect at all!

JR: I have to admit. I am gaining some new respect for PRL thanks to this match!

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs the ladder and places it near a turnbuckle. He sets it up near the turnbuckle and begins climbing.

JR: What’s PRL going to do now?

Jesse: I think I know what Puerto Rican is going to do now. One of PRL’s favorite wrestlers is “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels and he told me that one of his favorite matches is the WrestleMania X ladder match between Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon.

JR: Oh no. You don’t think.

Jesse: I think so Jim Ross! We’re about to see what PRL says is a “WrestleMania X Flashback”.

JR: PRL is now at the top of the ladder. The crowd is buzzing.

Puerto Rican Lightning is at the very top of the ladder. PRL jumps off the top of the ladder…and does a splash right onto “Shooter” Jay Darring just like HBK did at WrestleMania X.

Jesse: Splash from the top of the ladder just like his hero, Shawn Michaels did!

JR: What another incredible move! The will to fight. The chance to become a double champion! This is what it is all about folks! These two are battered and beaten but not out. This can end any time soon.

Both men are out. Now some fans are beginning to chant “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” obviously respecting P.R.’s resilience in this match. Both men are still out but both are trying to get up. Puerto Rican Lightning, face completely gone of face-paint, is up first. He finds the ladder, with the crowd buzzing the entire time. He grabs the ladder and begins to climb.

JR: This could be it! The match could be over! PRL now, slowly climbing the ladder. The ladder to the championships. The crowd is going crazy with PRL getting closer and closer to the belts.

Jesse: He can do it! Oh no! Jay is up, damnit! Damnit!

JR: Shooter Jay is up! He’s up once again with a chair to the back of PRL! He hits him again with the chair. PRL is up to the top of the ladder but Jay has PRL right where he wants him.

Darring grabs Lightning from the back. He hits a Razor Edge from the ladder. The crowd cheers again. They begin chanting “Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay!” Both men are now weakened from this long and brutal match. They both begin to get up. Jay is first and grabs the ladder again. He places the ladder on a ring rope then grabs PRL. PRL pokes him in the eye then whips Jay into a turnbuckle. He slams Jay’s face into the ladder and rests him there. PRL then heads to the top rope.

He jumps from the top rope and into a different part of the ladder that makes the part of the ladder Jay’s head is on smash into his face hurting him even more. The crowd boos Lightning’s actions, but Lightning smiles not caring about the fans.

JR: UNBELIVEABLE! I HAVE PROBALBY SAID THAT MORE THAN ONCE DURING THIS MATCH BUT I DESERVE TO! THESE TWO HAVE GIVEN THEIR ALL TO WIN! UNBELIEVEABLE!

Jesse: Now all PRL has to do is climb the ladder! That’s it!

JR: PRL is back up with the ladder. PRL places the ladder on a turnbuckle.

Puerto Rican Lightning places the ladder on a turnbuckle then climbs the top rope once again. Leapfrog over the ladder onto Jay. PRL gets up again and climbs the turnbuckle to the top rope. PRL has an arrogant look on his face. The crowd boos the P.R. Menace as he signals that he is going to slam the ladder once again into Jay.

Jesse: Ride ‘em cowboy!

JR: PRL is going to use that ladder as a weapon once MORE!!!

Just as Jim Ross says this, Puerto Rican Lightning pushes the ladder right onto Jay with PRL on top of the ladder. The crowd groans. Some begin booing the arrogant P.R. Champion as he begins to get up. “P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!” Lightning acts like he doesn’t hear any of the chants.

JR: WHAT A MATCH! WHAT A MEMORABLE MATCH IN THIS ALREADY MEMORABLE PAY-PER-VIEW!

Jesse: Come on PRL! Come on! Come on, Lightning!

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs the ladder AGAIN and places it on another turnbuckle.

Jesse: Shooter Jay is finished! Why is PRL wasting his time? CLIMB THE LADDER AND GET THE BELTS!

JR: PRL is doing all he can to win this match and win the North American Title! But more importantly keep the Puerto Rican Championship!

Puerto Rican grabs Jay Darring.

JR: PRL has used the ladder mostly as a weapon in this match. PRL whips Jay into the ladder, no wait a minute! Jay reverses with a Spinebuster! AFTERTHOUGHT ON PRL! AFTERTHOUGHT!!!

Jesse: NO! NO! NO!

The crowd is going wild as PRL screams in pain from the Afterthought. He is crying and taps. Suddenly, Mr. Boricua enters the ring and stops the Afterthought with a choke slam on Shooter Jay!

JR: THAT DAMN MR. BORICUA! THAT PIECE OF CRAP!

Jesse: ANYTHING GOES IN A LADDER MATCH JR! ANYTHING!

The crowd boos as Mr. Boricua leaves the ring. With “Shooter” Jay knocked out, PRL gets up. He grabs Jay and arm drags him. He then grabs Jay again and Rock Bottoms him onto the ladder. The crowd groans as Jay screams in pain.

JR: BAWD GAWD THE PAIN DARRING MUST BE FEELING!

Jesse: Another of PRL’s additions! He calls this the Boriqua Bomb!

JR: The Boriqua Bomb?

Jesse: That’s right the Boriqua Bomb!

JR: Well, after the “Boriqua Bomb”, Jay is out on the mat and PRL is now in control. PRL whips him into the ropes, SPINEBUSTER!!!

Puerto Rican Lightning trashtalks Jay who is knocked out on the top of the ladder. The Puerto Rican Champion stands over the fallen Jay in the middle of the ring and then gets ready. The crowd cheers then boos once again. They stand up and chant “P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!” PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, then throws it onto Jay’s face. The crowd boos as PRL then moves his arms around and bounces across the ropes.

Jesse: It’s time JR! It’s now time for the Most Electrifying Move In Professional Wrestling NOT Sports Entertainment, The Puerto Rico Elbow!

JR: And it hits!

The crowd boos as Puerto Rican Lightning has just hit the Puerto Rico Elbow on top of the ladder on “Shooter” Jay Darring. PRL grabs the ladder once again and places it on another turnbuckle.

JR: The P.R. Menace is now in control again! UNBELIEVEABLE!

Jesse: Will you stop saying UNBLEIVEABLE?

JR: PRL now grabbing Jay and whipping him into the ladder. PRL repeatley slamming his face into the ladder. PRL grabbing “Shooter” Jay and climbing up with him!

JR: He’s climbing up with him! What’s PRL going to do to Jay?

The crowd is buzzing once again as Lightning and Jay are both at the top of the ladder. Each man is on different sides of the ladder. PRL slams Jay’s face onto the top of the ladder. He grabs him by the neck....and gives Shooter Jay a Diamond Cutter from the top of the ladder! The crowd groans and shouts “Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!” Both men are knocked out.

JR: MY OH MY! THIS MATCH HAS GOTTEN EVEN MORE INCREDIBLE! I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!

Jesse: The last move PRL is debuting in this match! The Diamond Cutter or as PRL calls it “The Lightning Strike”.

JR: The Lightning Strike has probalby hurt Jay even more. Both men are out! And what a sign of disrespect! PRL just threw the ladder on top of Jay!

The crowd boos again as PRL gets up once again. PRL grabs Jay and whips him into the ladder. He then grabs him and takes him to the top of the ladder again.

JR: Oh no. Oh no. I can’t imagine what PRL has up his sleeve. What is going to happen next in this incredible match? What next? What next?

Jesse: I don’t know but…OH MY GOD!!!!!

Puerto Rican Lightning has just hit a Belly-To-Belly Suplex from the top of the ladder! The crowd boos and begins chanting “Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!” Both men are knocked out again. They try to get up.

JR: I CAN’T BELIEVE MY EYES!

Jesse: It’s got to be over now! It has to be! It has to!

JR: PRL is now getting up again. He grabs Jay…but JAY COMES BACK WITH A SAITO SUPLEX!!! And the crowd is going crazy!

Jesse: NO IT CAN’T BE! GET UP LIGHTNING! GET UP!

The crowd goes crazy as Jay is up again. PRL is down on the mat as he trash talks him and heads to the ladder.

JR: What is Jay going to do now? What is he going to do?

Jesse: I don’t know but I don’t like where this is going!

JR: Jay is up. He continues climbing up and up! He’s up top! He looks to be going for the Diving Headbutt! Can he do it? YES! NO!!!!

The crowd groans and boos as “Shooter” Jay Darring missed the Diving Headbutt from the top of the ladder. Both men are down and out again. Jay is partly bruised and PRL is sweating from head to toe. His hair is wet and his facepaint is absolutely gone. Both men are out but a 10 count cannot begin because it’s a Ladder Match. Both guys try to get up one more time. PRL is first to get up. He whips Shooter Jay into the ropes and comes back with the Flying Forearm. The crowd boos because they know what it means.

JR: Oh no! PRL is setting up for the P.R. Nightmare. He waits for Jay to get up…another Flying Forearm.

Jesse: YES! HAHA! PRL hits another one.

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs Shooter Jay and whips him into the ropes for the other Flying Forearm. And the kip-up. The crowd boos again as PRL sneers at the crowd. He yells at them and then heads to a turnbuckle.

Jesse: PRL with his 17th wind.

JR: PRL “calling up the band”.

Lightning heads to a turnbuckle and begins stomping his foot a’la Shawn Michaels. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. He waits patiently for Jay to get up.

Jesse: Here it comes! The Sweet Chin Music! Here it comes!

Puerto Rican goes for the Sweet Chin Music and it hits. Darring goes down hard. PRL is up and proud and picks up Jay one more time. He goes for the P.R. Nightmare, but Jay reverses into the Foreshadow! The Foreshadow sends PRL down and the crowd up. The crowd is going crazy as Jay hops up and down more and more ready to finish the match.

JR: Shooter Jay with his 2nd wind!

Jesse: STOP HIM PR! STOP HIM!

JR: Jay waiting for PRL to get up. He attacks. Whip into the ropes…Stiff Superkick~! STIFF SUPERKICK~! Lightning is down! Jay is up again! He grabs the ladder and places it in the center of the ring. But first, he’s signaling for the Harsh Reality! The Harsh Reality could end this match once and for all!

The crowd is going crazy as Darring picks up Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL tries to fight out, but Jay hits the Harsh Reality. The crowd pops HUGE.

JR: HARSH REALITY! HARSH REALITY! HARSH REALITY!

Jesse: Say it a few more times.

JR: HARSH REALITY! HARSH REALITY! HARSH REALITY!

The crowd is getting crazy. While all this is going on, Mr. Boricua whispers something in Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez’s ears. She listens and heads to the ring apron.

JR: Wait a minute. What’s Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez doing?

Jesse: I don’t know but I like it.

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez calls Jay over to her. She whispers something in his ear. He likes what he hears and she begins to unzip her vest. The crowd begins to cheer as Lindsay unzips her vest and takes it off to leave her in her black bra.

JR: OH NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!

Jesse: Why are you complaining, Jim Ross? This is great!

JR: NO IT ISN’T! The jezebel has done this to all of PRL's oppoents. Andrew Hyland. Blurricane. And The Mad Cappa.

Jesse: Can you BLAME them for being distracted? Look at her JR! She's beautiful!

JR: She is beautiful, but she has no right to do this.

Jesse: Why not? It's a ladder match! Anything goes in a ladder match!

The crowd cheers as Lindsay teases Jay once again by taking off her belt and pants and shaking her ass in front of Jay. The crowd certainly likes it and Jay seems to like what he’s seeing. He knows the girl is hot, even if it is PRL’s girlfriend. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez shakes her ass in her matching black bra and thong and flirts with Jay. The crowd wants more.

Jesse: MORE! MORE!

Lindsay teases for more and begins to take off her black bra. While all of this is going on, Vitamin X enters the ring and prepares to attack Jay with the Lightning Crew Stun Taser.

JR: LOOK OUT, JAY! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!

But, before Jay can attack, Sonic Youth comes running into the ring and attacks Vitamin X. The crowd cheers. Sonic hits X with a Tornado DDT. But that’s not all. Jay has had no idea any of this is going on. Lindsay is still teasing Jay by acting like she is going to take her bra off. But before she can actually take it off, Lauren and Janet run to the ring and grab Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez’s legs hitting her face on the ring apron. The three hot girls get into a catfight on the outside. Jay turns around, places the ladder in the center of the ring, and begins climbing the ladder, relaxed knowing that he has nothg to worry about since Sonic Youth has Vitamin X in the Twilight and the catfight continues.

JR: CHAOS! THIS IS CHAOS JES!

Jesse: But Jay is climbing the ladder! He’s almost got the belts!

Jay continues climbing and finally is at the top. Several referees have come out to break up the catfight and the Sonic Youth/Vitamin X fight. But, Puerto Rican Lightning has finally gotten up and grabs the ladder from underneath Jay, leaving him dangling from the hook with the belts. The crowd is screaming and going crazy.

JR: BAWD GAWD~! JAY IS HANGING 10 FEET IN THE AIR~! JAY ALMOST HAS THE BELTS!

Jesse: Not if PRL has anything to say about it. He’s grabbing at Shooter’s legs.

PRL continues to grab at Shooter’s legs hoping to bring him down. However, Sonic Youth comes into the ring and spears PRL down and locks him in the Twilight. Another referee tries to break that up. The referee for the match watches as Jay Darring hangs on the hook with the belts hanging from it.

The crowd continues to go crazy as Jay grabs the North American Championship belt from the hook. He places the belt between his legs, and then grabs the Puerto Rican Championship belt. He now has both belts then falls 10 feet to the mat. The referee rings the bell and the crowd cheers while Sonic lets go of the Twilight submission on PRL.

*DING DING DING*

JR: WE GOT A NEW PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION! WE GOT A NEW PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION! JAY HAS DONE IT! JAY HAS FINALLY DONE IT! BAWD GAWD KID~! WAY TO GO!!!

Jesse: NO!!!! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! IT CAN’T BE! NO FAIR! SONIC YOUTH INTERFERED!

JR: Anything happens in a ladder match right!

The crowd goes wild and crazy as “Cloud Connected” by In Flames starts up. Jay Darring lies on the mat holding both belts and crying. His theme song continues to play as The Lightning Crew helps PRL out of the ring.

Ring Announcer: The winner of this match and STILL OaOasT North American Champion and NEW Puerto Rican Champion, “SHOOTER” JAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY DARRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

“Cloud Connected” by In Flames continues to play over the P.A. as Featured Attraction enter the ring and pick up their fellow member. Sonic Youth places an arm over Jay’s shoulder and helps him raise both titles to the roar of the crowd.

Lauren and Janet each give Jay a kiss on the cheek and help him up also. Jay is tired and beaten and so is PRL as he watches from the aisle, furious. He starts yelling and screaming and crying at the same time. The Lightning Crew calm him down as they leave, Vitamin X, beaten, Mr. Boricua, beaten, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, in her black bra and forest green pants, and Puerto Rican Lightning, beaten, battered, and crying and vowing to fight another day.

JR: After being screwed of the Puerto Rican Championship last Monday on IntenseZone, “Shooter” Jay Darring has gotten his revenge against the P.R. Menace by keeping his North American Title and winning the Puerto Rican Championship in the process!

Jesse: This won’t stand! This will not stand! You bet your ass that tomorrow night on IntenseZone, PRL will have something to say about this! PRL WILL MAKE THINGS RIGHT TOMMORROW NIGHT ON IZ! I GURANTEE IT!

JR: Oh sure! What rule can PRL make up this time? Anything goes in a Ladder Match!

Jesse: He will FIND a rule in the Puerto Rican Championship Rulebook somewhere. He will!

JR: PRL STILL ain’t the North American Champion!

Jesse: PRL WILL become Champion soon, Jim Ross!

JR: I gotta say, this was one of the most memorable, most unforgettable Ladder Matches I’ve ever seen, and probably the best Ladder Match in the history of the OaOasT. My hat goes off to Puerto Rican Lightning for fighting till the very end.

Jesse: Until getting speared by Sonic Youth. Tell it right JR! There has to be a rule in the Rulebook somewhere regarding that.

JR: Whether you love him or hate him, you gotta admit, Puerto Rican Lightning put on the fight of his life tonight and came up empty handed. I have some new respect from Puerto Rican Lightning thanks to this match!

Jesse: He will make things right tomorrow! HE WILL MAKE THINGS RIGHT TOMMORROW! THIS INTEREFERENCE FROM THE FEATURED ASSHOLES WILL NOT STAND!

“Shooter” Jay Darring raises both the OaOasT North American and the Puerto Rican Championships high before leaving.

JR: Go on kid. Celebrate. You deserve it! You are a double champion!

Jesse: NOT FOR LONG!!!

JR: Fans, what an amazing match we have just seen. I am certain that the PRL/Shooter Jay feud is far from over. What an amazing, incredible, unbelievable match we have just saw. What an amazing show we have had so far. And we are still not done yet!

[Chanel #99]

JR

Next up we have a Three Way for the F13 Title. Blurricane, Orion, and Reject have been at each others' throats for weeks now.

JESSE

Blurricane is in no way focused for this match JR. His head is all messed up.

JR

That's because someone has been stalking Blurricane for the last couple of weeks and he's caused a lot of tension between these three men. I don't see how any of them can be focused.

JESSE

Well regardless my money is on Orion.

JR

Well we are about to find out if you're right.

RING ANNOUNCER

This match is a Three Way Elimination Match for the F13 Title! Introducing first...

CUE: Hate Me Now

RING ANNOUNCER

From New York, New York...weighing in at 225 pounds...REJECT!!!!!

(Reject slides into the ring and throws his arms in the air. The crowd gives him a decent pop as he warms up in the ring. The music fades out as we await the next competitor.)

CUE: Rock You Like a Hurricane

RING ANNOUNCER

From Parts Unknown...weighing in 191 pounds...THE BLURRICANE!!!!!

(Blurricane comes flying out of the stage with arms extended. As he hits the ground he comes swooshing down the ramp. He slides into the ring and gives Reject a "hokey thumbs up". He then twirls his cape around and tosses it to ringside. Blurricane poses on the ropes, which gets a pop from the crowd.)

CUE: Headstrong

RING ANNOUNCER

From Las Vegas, Nevada...weighing in at 212 pounds...ORION!!!!

(Orion walks to the ring, but refrains from entering. He walks around showing his title to the crowd. A few fans in the front row heckle him and he moves as if to backhand one of them. The fans continue to yell at him as he climbs the ring steps and stops before getting in. Reject and Blurricane stand ready.)

Blurricane does a baseball slide to the outside and catches Orion's feet on the way out, causing him to fall and hit his face on the ring apron. Blurricane then grabs him and sends him into the ring where Reject drops an Elbow Drop on him.

JESSE

Whoa! That's not fair JR!!

JR

I don't see any rules being broken.

*DING DING DING*

Reject backs off as Blurricane slingshots in and hits a Leg Drop. Reject hits the ropes and goes for a Rolling Thunder, but Orion rolls to the outside before Reject can get there. Orion takes a break and walks around the ring some more. Blurricane runs to the ropes and fakes a Slingshot move. Orion moves out of the way and is caught by a Flying Wheel Kick off the apron by Reject.

JESSE

Someone tell the ref to get control of this match!!

JR

You get up there and tell him!

JESSE

I'm needed here.

Reject tosses Orion back in the ring and Blurricane hits a Leg Drop off the second rope. Cover. 1...2...No!! Reject and Blurricane whip Orion to the ropes and go for a Doubleteam Clothesline, but Orion ducks it. Orion holds on to the ropes and waits for them to come to him. Blurricane comes in first and Orion Back Body Drops him over to the apron. Blurricane grabs him for a Suplex to the outside, but Orion reverses it and Suplexes him into the ring. Reject comes in for a Clothesline, but Orion ducks it and then Hip Tosses him onto Blurricane. Orion climbs up top and comes off for a Elbow Drop. Blurricane moves and the elbow hits Reject. Cover. 1...2...No!!

JESSE

This is brilliant! Orion is using Reject and Blurricane as weapons against each other!

JR

Well Orion may be a jackass, but he's also a smart wrestler.

Blurricane comes running in, but Orion Drop Toe Holds him onto Reject. Orion pulls Blurricane back to his feet and tosses him to the outside. Orion then pulls Reject to his feet and hits a Belly to Belly Suplex on him. Cover. 1...2...No!!

Orion picks Reject up again and whips him to the ropes. As Reject comes bouncing back Orion hits him with a Clothesline. Out of the corner of his eye Orion sees Blurricane getting up to the apron. So Orion grabs Reject and Catapults him into Blurricane, which knocks Blurricane back to the floor. As Reject stumbles back Orion grabs him and hits a Scorpion Death Drop. Cover. 1...2...No!!

JESSE

What did I tell ya JR? Orion is a genius!

JR

If that man is a genius then I'm Santa Claus!

JESSE

In that case I want a keg of beer for Christmas!

Orion gets up and doesn't see Blurricane climbing to the top rope. As Orion turns around Blurricane comes off with a Flying Cross Body. Cover. 1...2..No!! Orion stands and is taken back down by a Spinning Heel Kick from Reject. Reject with a cover. 1...2..No!! Reject moves as Blurricane hits a Moonsault off the top. Cover. 1...2..No!!

JESSE

Ref get control!! Dammit JR you're Santa! Do something!!

JR

.....

Reject pulls Orion to his feet and goes for a Suplex. Orion manages to drop behind Reject and shoves him into Blurricane. Reject and Blurricane's heads collide leaving both men out cold on the mat. Orion rolls out for a break and comes to the announcers table. He actually sits down and puts on a headset.

ORION

I liked doing commentary so much a few weeks ago that I've decided to join you two.

JR

What the hell is the matter with you? You're in the middle of a match!

JESSE

JR don't be so rude to our guest! There's a pause in the match and he decided to grace us with his presence!

The ref is giving Reject and Blurricane the 10 count, which keeps him from counting out Orion.

1...2...3...4...5...6...Blurricane starts to get up...7...8...Blurricane slides to the outside and comes over to the table.

ORION

What's this? I'm sorry I don't see you on my program here...you'll have to leave.

Orion gets up and decks Blurricane in the face with a right hand. He then pulls Blurricane on top of the table and punches him some more. Orion takes off the headset and climbs onto the table. He then picks Blurricane up and Superplex's him off the table to the ground!!

JR

BAH GAWD!! HE'S BROKEN BLURRICANE IN HALF!!

JESSE

Holy sh*t!!

Orion stands to taunt the crowd when Reject hits a Slingshot Cross Body to the outside. Orion catches him and tosses him forward sending him crashing through the announce table! The impact causes JR to fall out of his chair and hit his head on the guardrail.

JESSE

Ummm.......JR is out folks! I guess I'm going the rest of the way alone?

Orion turns to focus on Blurricane, but Blurricane is nowhere to be found! Orion looks around confused. Orion grabs Reject instead and tosses him into the ring. Cover. 1...2....No!!! Orion picks Reject up and whips him to the corner. Orion takes a few steps back and comes running in for the 315!! Cover. 1...2....No!!!

JESSE

Where the hell did Blurricane go? Did he get scared and run away? Who the hell am I asking these questions to?

Orion looks around again to see if Blurricane is sneaking up behind, but he's still nowhere to be seen. Orion picks Reject up again and whips him to the ropes, but it's reversed! Reject manages to hit a Spinning Wheel Kick that knocks Orion down. Reject is slow to get up, but when he does he bounces off the ropes, but he's stopped dead in his tracks by a Low Blow...from Blurricane!

JESSE

He was hiding under the ring! I told you he was scared!........I can't do this alone......I'll have to cover for both of us.

JESSE (as JR)

That's a helluva point Jess....he is scared. Bah gawd he's the biggest yella belly I ever did saw!!

The crowd is stunned by Blurricane's actions as Blurricane climbs into the ring. Blurricane looks at Orion and points to Reject as if to say "let's get him!" Blurricane picks Reject up and whips him to Orion who hits a Spinebuster! Blurricane stands in the corner and laughs as Orion makes a cover. 1...2...No!!

JESSE

What's with this sudden mood change by Blurricane? I kinda like it!

JESSE (as JR)

Yeah Jess...the old Blurricane was as boring as my wife in bed.......har har har!!

Blurricane comes over and picks up Reject, but Reject quickly counters into a Jawbreaker that sends Blurricane down. Orion comes running in, but Reject hits a Back Elbow that knocks him down. Reject then drags Blurricane and Orion to one side of the ring, he sets them side by side, and then takes off running to the ropes. He then hits a Rolling Thunder to both men! The move took just about all the energy Reject had left and he is slow to make the cover. Reject finally makes the cover on Orion. 1...2.....No!!

Reject picks Orion up and Slams him back down. He then slowly climbs to the top rope and drops down so that he bounces off the top rope in a sitting position and flips over for a Split Legged Moonsault...but no one is home! Blurricane drapes an arm over Reject. 1...2......No!!

Orion is to his feet and picks up Reject, but Reject Dropkicks Orion back down. Reject then goes over to Blurricane and asks for some help in taking out Orion. He tells Blurricane something and then turns around and waits for Orion to stand. As he does Blurricane Superkicks Reject from behind sending him into Orion's arms and Orion hits a Forward Release Tazzplex into a Texas Cloverleaf to complete the Fade to Black!!

JESSE

Fade to Black! Reject is about to be eliminated!

JESSE (as JR)

Bahh garsh Jess! He's gonna make him squeal like a scalded dog!

JR (Sitting up quickly and looking confused)

I LOVE YOU ALBERT!........umm.........errr what's going on?

JESSE

Aw crap!

Reject struggles for the ropes, but Blurricane stands in the way and laughs. He even slaps Reject in the face a couple of times.

JR

Bah gawd what the hell is going on?

JESSE

Blurricane is finally come to his senses that's what!

Reject finally has enough and taps out!

YOUR FIRST ELIMINATION IN 17:23 - REJECT!

JR

Bah gawd Reject tapped!

Blurricane shoves Reject to the outside under the bottom rope and looks at Orion. Orion and Blurricane circle each other before locking up. Orion gets the advantage and shoves Blurricane back. Blurricane looks pissed and locks up again. This time Blurricane elbows Orion in the side of the head and grabs him for what looks like an Eye of the Hurricane, but suddenly he turns it into a Roll the Dice!

JESSE

Wait....when did Blurricane start using that move?

Cover by Blurricane. 1...2...3..No!! Blurricane whips Orion to the ropes and goes for a Superkick, but Orion catches it and spins him around. Orion grabs him and hits a Pumphandle Slam! Cover. 1...2.....No!!

Orion then picks him up and goes for a Piledriver, but Blurricane hits a Back Body Drop. Blurricane goes to the ropes, but he's pulled down and out of the ring by Reject! Reject shoves him and yells at him about the superkick. Blurricane flips him off and tries to go back into the ring, but he's pulled down again. This time Blurricane hits Reject with a right hand that sends him to the ground. Blurricane climbs back to the apron and yells at Orion. The crowd lets out a loud gasp and then an extremely loud pop. Blurricane is startled by the noise so he turns around. There he sees.......The Blurricane???

JESSE

WHAT THE F*CK!!! I'm seeing double!

JR

What the hell!? There are two Blurricanes!!!

The second Blurricane has a partially torn mask and some blood on his face. He pulls the other Blurricane down and stalks him around the ring. The ref is totally confused as is Orion. The non-bloody Blurricane grabs a chair as he backs away and he dares the bloody Blurricane to come at him. The bloody Blurricane comes running at him and leaps on top of him. The two Blurricane's trade punches back and forth. Orion distracts the ref as the non-bloody Blurricane sends the bloody Blurricane into the ring post. He then blasts the bloody Blurricane with a chairshot and rolls him into the ring.

JR

This sonofabitch is going to cost Blurricane the match! Who is this guy??

Orion grabs the bloody Blurricane and hits the Youthanasia! He then goes up top and hits a Lo Down. Cover. 1...2...3!!!

*DING DING DING*

YOUR WINNER IN 25:45 AND STILL F13 CHAMPION - ORION!!!

Orion celebrates his win in the ring. The ref brings the belt to him and he yanks it away before holding it in the air. The other Blurricane takes a mic.

MYSTERY BLURRICANE

Your time is up. Tomorrow night I will reveal the truth. Tomorrow night you will finally come home where you belong. Father is waiting for you Number 13.

JR

Number 13?? What the hell does that mean?

JESSE

I need a drink!

[Chanel #99]

::”How I Could Just Kill a Man” hits and Y2jailbait makes his way out to the ring! Jailbait is not alone though::

JR: “What the hell? Why does Jailbait have those police officers with him?”

Jesse: “Parole officers?”

:: Jailbait and the policemen make the slow saunter into the ring and Jailbait grabs a mic ::

Jailbait: “So, Great Angle Bash 2003 and I am scheduled to face one Masked Mystery Eskimo. Now, I think ya’ll remember what happened last week on IZ with ol’ Eska and his domestic violence issues. I challenged Eskimo for a match and now was to be the time for it, but something occurred to me as I was on my way to the arena.”

JR: “Jailbait is just stalling here, get on with the match and take your ass-whipping like a man!”

Jesse: “Damn JR, calm down. Who’s to say Jailbait is scared of Eskimo? He’s gotten the better end of almost all their battles as of late and is 100 percent healthy, unlike Eskimo and his bum leg!”

Jailbait: “I ain’t no saint, don’t get me wrong here. But I don’t want to wrestle a known woman-beater like Eskimo. I mean, that just ain’t right kids.”

JR: “Jailbait knows that Eskimo hasn’t done anything wrong, this is all just propaganda!”

Jesse: “We’ll, Eskimo is a known drinker and maybe he had a few that night…”

JR: “Oh, will you stop!”

Jailbait: “So, I brought some of your cities finest out to escort me out of the arena tonight and help me announce that the match with Masked Mystery Eskimo and Jailbait will not proceed as planned tonight as I have filed a restraining order against that heathen Eskimo. I ain’t scared, don’t get me wrong, but with what he did to this woman (points to screen with a beaten woman’s face on it), I don’t think it would be in my best interest to fight a felon here tonight! (Crowd heavily boos!!).”

JR: “That hypocrite! “He’s no saint”, that BS! He may be a devil himself.”

Jesse: “Hey now, how many people can be the devil JR? Al Pacino? Vince McMahon? Jon Lovitz? I mean when does it end cowboy?”

JR: “This is serious Jesse. Jailbait is duckin’ Eskimo and he knows it.”

:: Jailbait begins to leave the ring when “Too Cold” hits to a huge reaction! Masked Mystery Eskimo walks out to a shielding police force! ::

JR: “This is crap Jesse, those police officials have no business here.”

Jesse: “What are you talking about JR, these officers have every right to protect Jailbait, he has a restraining order and their there to maintain law and order, ya know, like the Big Boss Man?”

JR: “Ray Traylor? The Guardian Angel? Damn, nice history lesson there ol’ timer.”

Jesse: “Bastard….”

:: Eskimo calmly asks for a mic and the officers allow him to talk. ::

Eskimo: “Jailbait, I’m gonna say this one more time just for those who didn’t hear it previously. I had nothing to do with this! This is all lies brought upon by you and whomever else who is aiding you in this. My personal problems have nothing to do with this woman. So with that out of the way, how bout’ we have this damn match! (Crowd Cheers!!)”

:: Jailbait looks into the crowd and their all over him. A chant of “JAILBAIT SUCKS!” begins and Eskimo is leading the chant! ::

Jailbait: “This is out of my hands kid. The officers have a job to do and I don’t think it would look good on your record to have assaulting an officer mixed with domestic violence on there. But hey, if ya really want to wrestle me that bad on that bum leg of yours, be my guest. Just get through them first!!!”

:: Just then, the police force begins attacking Eskimo!!! ::

JR: “These aren’t cops Jesse! Look at this, they’re removing those uniforms!”

Jesse: “Yeah, these guys ain’t no police JR, these look like friends of Jailbait’s from the streets! Eskimo is being decimated here and he deserves all of it for what he’s done!”

JR: “What has he done bah gawd, what?”

:: The “officers” remove their uniforms to reveal all sorts of tattoo’s and inscriptions on their bodies. These men are obviously affiliated with Jailbait, but why? ::

:: Jailbait yells at the gang of men to bring Eskimo to the ring. They roll a beaten Eskimo into the ring and a referee rings the bell! ::

JR: “What the hell, this isn’t even match! How could the ref call this a match after that beat down? He should just call it and get Eskimo out of here.”

:: Jailbait watches Eskimo slowly attempt to get to this feet. Eskimo is so dazed that he falls several times trying to grab hold of the ropes. As Eskimo finally gets to his feet, Jailbait nails him with a right hand! ::

Jesse: “That right hand from Jailbait sent Eskimo into the middle of next week, oh I love it JR. Come on, get excited, this is OaOast action at its best!”

JR: “This is a damn shame and Eskimo cannot last much longer in his condition.”

:: Jailbait begins to attack Eskimo’s leg like a vicious animal and Eskimo is screaming in pain! Jailbait picks up a limping Eskimo and sends him into the ropes. Eskimo cannot even keep his balance and falls short of the ropes, landing head first into the middle rope. Jailbait sees this and hits his 619 variation! ::

JR: “That move may have put Eskimo’s lights out. He’s been dazed already, and that maneuver may have put him out of the game.”

:: Jailbait goes for the cover! ::

1........2……..Kick out!

:: Jailbait relentlessly picks up Eskimo and hits a flair-style knee breaker. With Eskimo down on the mat, Jailbait begins to stomp and knee drop the injured leg of Eskimo. ::

JR: “Eskimo leg has to be shattered into pieces after this assault!”

:: Jailbait signals for the “officers” to leave ringside and makes a motion saying “this’ll be over in five minutes. Jailbait begins to pick up Eskimo and kick him in the leg to take him down. Jailbait sends Eskimo to the outside and sets up Eskimo for a side suplex onto the ringside barrier. Eskimo flips out though, but lands on that leg and falls to the ground. ::

Jesse: “Eskimo tried to flip out there, but the punishment to his leg took affect there as he couldn’t even put weight on it.”

:: Jailbait sets up Eskimo onto the ring barrier, straddling him onto it. Jailbait climbs the top rope and nails Eskimo with a DROPKICK INTO THE FANS!! ::

JR: “That has to be it, Eskimo was not protected at all on that shot and landed very hard on the concrete floor. “

Jesse: “Jailbait is down as well, but he didn’t take the bump Eskimo did on that shot!”

:: Jailbait gradually gets back to his feet and heads right towards the timekeepers table. He grabs three chairs and tosses them into the ring! ::

Jesse: “Oh yeah, here we go JR!! We’re gonna see the end of Masked Mystery Eskimo tonight!”

JR: “Good Lord I hope not, I hope not!”

:: Jailbait sets up a chair between the middle and top ropes horizontally. He then takes a second chair and does the same in another corner. He then takes the third chair and unfolds it in the middle of the ring in a seated position. ::

Jesse: “This is so dastardly, I love this!”

JR: “My god, what does he have planned?”

:: Eskimo gets to his feet while Jailbait is setting the chairs up and nails Jailbait with the Igloo DDT! But he can’t even go for the cover! Jailbait slowly gets to his feet and Eskimo snatches Jailbait and destroys Jailbait with a Blizzard Bomb!!!!! After a couple of seconds, Eskimo barley gets an arm over Jailbait for the cover! ::

1……….2………..Kick out at 2!!!!

JR: “Where does Eskimo get it from? He nailed Jailbait with that Blizzard Bomb! Eskimo has to build some momentum and get this thing over with as soon as he can.”

Jesse: “Your right, Jailbait has been beating on him for damn near 10 minutes and Eskimo is inches away from death.”

JR: “Death? What the hell Jesse, can you be any more bias?”

:: Jailbait rolls out of the ring and Eskimo limps out after him. Eskimo catches Jailbait midway up the aisle and slams him on the floor. He picks him and whips him into the ring apron. Eskimo looks into the crowd and they’re going crazy!! ::

JR: “This crowd wants Eskimo to not only beat Jailbait, but get him the hell out of the OaOast for good!”

Jesse: “It’s just like you JR to want another man out of work and in the unemployment line just for your enjoyment!”

:: Eskimo gingerly walks towards a winded Jailbait. As Eskimo attempts to grab Jailbait, Jailbait gouges his eyes. Jailbait then nails theNo Mas on the outside!! Eskimo is completely out! ::

Jesse: (Laughing) “That was beautiful, that fish-lovin’ freak was planted.”

:: Jailbait picks up the dead weight of Eskimo and rolls him into the ring. With his feet on the ropes, he goes for the pin! ::

1….........2…………Kick out by Eskimo! Jailbait goes for the cover again!

1………..2…………Kick out again!

:: A frustrated Jailbait picks up Eskimo onto his shoulders into a DVD like position. He walks over the set up chair in the middle of the ring and nails a leg-first F-5 onto the chair!!!! ::

JR: (Jumping from his seat) “That’s enough, ring the bell!!! Eskimo’s leg is shattered!”

Jesse: “Well, Jailbait needs to cover Eskimo and end this match.”

:: Jailbait does not go for the cover and the crowd is in dead silence. The ref attempts to plead with Jailbait to end the match, but gets a right hand for his troubles! ::

JR: “Jailbait is looking to end the career of Eskimo, this has got to end by gawd!!”

Jesse: “Jailbait has a point to prove, he wants respect and this is the only way to get it in OaOast.”

JR: “That’s B.S. Jesse, Jailbait doesn’t need to destroy a man’s life by demolishing his leg to earn respect. Bullshit Jesse!!!”

:: Jailbait picks up a lifeless Eskimo in a belly to back suplex position and sprints towards the corner with the chair set up in it! Eskimo is driven leg first in the buckle and is screaming in pain! Jailbait doesn’t let go and runs into the other pre-set corner with a chair with the same maneuver. Eskimo’s limp body falls to the ground. The crowd chants “HOLY SHIT” followed by another “ESKIMO” chant to try and revive the Masked one. ::

:: Jailbait stand in the middle of the ring and the fans begin to throw garbage into the ring. Several cups and crumpled up programs pelt Jailbait as he stands defiant in the middle of the ring! He grabs Eskimo covers him, but there is no referee. So he counts himself! ::

1………..2…………3!

:: Jailbait gets up and celebrates his “win” and demand his music be played! A horde of officials come to the ring and attempt to rid the ring of Jailbait and attend to Eskimo, but he won’t leave until his hand is raised. ::

JR: “This is the most unforgivable, appalling and deplorable act I’ve ever seen. Jailbait has ended the career of Masked Mystery Eskimo….”

:: The original ref gets to his feet and calls for the bell. Jailbait has been disqualified and the match is awarded to Eskimo. Jailbait is angered and throws all the officials out of the ring. Jailbait grabs the mic.::

Jailbait: “Eskimo, you may be a known felon and a bastard, but damn if you didn’t make this slaughter hard on me. It’s time you be phased out Eskimo, not because I want to, but because I have to for me to survive in this game of pro wrestling!”

Winner: Masked Mystery Eskimo by DQ at 23:44

[Chanel #99]

(Sonic Youth is stretching in the back, as brand new unified champion Jay Darring walks into the room, still spent from his grueling ladder match.)

Sonic (grinning): Hey champ, ready to go one more time?

Jay: I'm not in the scramble match anymore Sonic.

Sonic: What? Why not?

Jay: I'm too messed up Sonic, too beat up from the ladder match, and I don't want to let you down like the last time we got a tag title shot. Listen, you're the man tonight, you've got the talent to beat all of those guys. I've got confidence in you. Not only that, I've got a plan...

(Jay whispers in Sonic's ear as we fade out)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JR: Folks, up next is a very interesting concept, a texas tornado style six man tag team match, tags can either be made the normal way or by leaving the ring. The winners get a title shot at either Los Infernales or the Trinity!

("Little Crazy" by Fight fires up)

RA: The follwoing contest is a SCRAMBLE match, with the winners coming #1 CONTENDERS TO THE OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the team of JOB SQUAD AND K-NESS, the I...O...U!

JR: They've gone their separate ways recently following their loss to Los Infernales at Living Angleously, but they've reunited for another grasp at tag team gold!

(THE LIGHTS GO OUT-and when they're back on, Toy Machine are in the ring!)

RA: Their opponents, AMAZING RANDO AND AMAZING ZERO, TOY MACHINE!

JR: The hottest new tag team on HeldDown!

Jesse: That isn't saying much.

JR: The former X champion and his massive partner came *so* close to beating the Trinity, they want one more shot!

("Come Out and Play" by the Offspring begins playing)

RA: Finally, representing Featured Attraction, SONIC YOUTH!

JR: Sonic Youth coming out by himself, what could he and Jay have up their sleeves tonight?

Jesse: How about nothing JR? Like always, Jay only cares about himself, leaving his partner twisting in the wind!

JR: Because of this type of matchup, the action will be coming too fast and furious to call, so this will be a "Sounds of the Ring" special feature!

job squad and Sonic Youth will be starting the match off. Lockup, Sonic grabs a quick armdrag, job recovers quickly with a Japanese armdrag, Sonic recovers, tries to trip him, job jumps to avoid, tries for the spinning heel kick, Sonic tries for a back suplex, job lands on his feet! STANDOFF to applause!

Sonic hits job with some jab punches, with the shots returned in kind by job squad. Sonic and job lock up again, this time job grabs a headlock, Sonic pushes him off, job hits the ropes with a shoulderblock, Sonic goes down. Job hits the ropes again, Sonic ducks down, off the rebounds job tries for a clothesline, the arm is caught by Sonic, spins him around, Russian Legsweep!

While Sonic still plays to the crowd, job tags in K-NESS, who RIPS Sonic's head off with the Western lariat, and Sonic falls out of the ring! Amazing Rando is in now, K-NESS hits a quick dragon screw legwhip, Rando recovers quickly with a Hayabusa-style dropkick. K-NESS falls out, and Rando looks to capitalize. He goes for a clothesline, ducked by K-NESS, BACKDROP DRIVER! And Rando heads to the outside! AMAZING ZERO is in now, K-NESS looks for another Western Lariat, but Zero ducks, picks K-NESS up, RUNNING POWERSLAM INTO THE CORNER! Zero has K-NESS up for a gorilla press- and TOSSES HIM onto the crowd on the outside!

Zero isn't done, FAT GUY OUTTA CONTROL PLANCHA to the outside, hitting everybody but Sonic! Sonic dashes back into the ring, climbs the ropes, NO HAND SOMERSAULT PLANCHA on the crowd! job squad is on the apron and HE joins in with a running senton to the pile!

job and Sonic are again back in the ring. job knocks down a dropkick, and locks on the magic number! Sonic may tap!

NO! RANDO breaks up the submission with a basement dropkick! Rando grabs the dazed job, picks him up-DOUBLE-ARM BRAINBUSTER, followed up by the STANDING SSP!

1

2

K-NESS saves! TIGER SUPLEX '85 BY K-NESS! COVER!

1

2

SAVE by Zero! Zero grabs K-NESS and hits a shoulderbreaker, drops an elbow, cover!

1

2

Zero takes quick advantage, and picks K-NESS up from behind, SCHOOLBOY BUSTER!

1

2

FOOT ON THE ROPE!

KICKOUT! Zero looks frustrated, tries for a running elbow drop, and gets DRILLED with a missile dropick by Sonic Youth! Sonic covers!

1

2

KICKOUT! Sonic looks for the Flowing DDT, but Rando charges in with the RUNNING ENZIGUIRI! Rando looks for another brainbuster, Sonic slips out the back, rollup into the Twilight!

But Rnado is already in the ropes. Sonic tries to pick him up, but Rando with a KIPUP RANA, dropping Sonic right on his head! Rando is climbing to the top rope, looking for that famous senton elbow...

WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE, the fan in the SpiderPoet mask has hit the ring!

Jesse: We apologize for interrupting, but what the hell?

The Fan has SHOVED Rando off the top rope, and he crashes with a THUD to the floor. He sees Zero getting up and grabs him from behind, ROLL OF THE DICE CONNECTS! K-NESS tries to catch him from behind for a german suplex, but the Fan lands on his feet on the release, and does a german suplex of his own to the OUTSIDE, and K-NESS lands on Rando! The Fan isn't done, he hits the ropes, SOMERSAULT TOPE SUICIDA TO THE OUTSIDE, LANDING on RANDO AND K-NESS.

JR: This must have been Jay's plan!

This leaves job squad, Amazing Zero, and Sonic Youth in the ring. Zero is down, job looks to take advantage by heading to the top rope, Zero isn't moving- SHOOTING STAR HEADBUTT CONNECTS!

job pops up woozy and disoriented from the headbutt, Sonic takes advantage, rollup from behind!

1

2

3!

RA: Your winner of the match, SONIC YOUTH!

JR: SONIC TAKES IT HOME, SONIC TAKES IT HOME, FEATURED ATTRACTION GET ONE MORE DANCE WITH THE CHAMPS!

Jesse: All thanks to that masked man, who is that guy!

--------

(Sonic, still on an adrenaline high from the match, runs into the still-celebrating Featured Attraction locker room!

Sonic: TWO AND ZERO BABY!

(Janet jumps into his arms in jubilation, and Jay takes his arm off of Lauren to give his tag partner an emotional hug.)

Jay: I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT. DID I TELL YA? YOU'RE THE FUCKIN' MAN TONIGHT!

(Suddenly, the man in the SpiderPoet mask is in the locker room! And Sonic and Jay hug him too!)

Sonic: Thanks for coming through for me buddy!

Jay: Good to have you back in OAOAST and on board with the winning team. Now show all the good people at home who you really are!

(The Fan unmasks to be...THE SHOCKER~!)

Shocker: Shocked, ain't ya? (grins). Well, get ready for an even bigger shock, as myself, the champ, and the icon, the Feautured Attraction, bring down the Trinity, and bring the light back to IntenseZone-'NUFF SAID!

JR: The Shocker has made his return to OAOAST, and he's with IntenseZone and Featured Attraction! The Trinity better watch out, because business-IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cole: Up next, we have a big match from the Helddown! brand of OAOAST!

Coach: Next is the match that I've been waiting weeks for! That ugly, steroid filled, Brock Ausstin, against the luscious, beautiful Crystal!

Cole: So, I’m guessing you are rooting for Crystal to pick up the win tonight, eh?

Coach: There is no doubt in my mind that Crystal is going to kick Brock’s ass!

Cole: A lot of tension between these two have been leading up to tonight! Brock and Crystal, finally meet one on one, in the middle of that ring! First, let’s go back, and show how this whole thing started!

(Cut to the titan-tron as a video package showing the history of Brock vs. Crystal starts up.)

One Month Ago

Brock turns around, as Lupus leaps off the top rope, with another Cross body, but Brock catches him in mid-air! Brock tosses Lupus up into the air, onto his shoulders in a DVD position, before spinning him off, and driving him face first into the mat, with the F-Stunner-5! ::

Michael Cole: F-STUNNER-5 ONTO LUPUS! THERE IS THE COVER! NO ONE KICKS OUT OF THE F-STUNNER-5! ONE! TWO! THREE!

Coach: Brock Ausstin picks up the win, and is still undefeated in the OAOAST!

Michael Cole: Brock welcomes another new guy into the OAOAST, the hard way!

:: Brock gets up to his feet, as Jim Heyross enters the ring. Jim starts screaming, as Brock lets out a murderous yell from destroying Lupus. Jim tells Brock to continue the attack, and Brock does! Brock grabs Lupus around the neck, and lifts up into the air, choking him. The referee tries to stop Brock, but Jim just pushes him away. Lupus struggles to breath, but Brock show's no signs of letting go, when out from the back, runs Crystal holding a steel chair! She slides into the ring, and lifts the chair back, slamming it into the back of Brock. Brock drops Lupus, and turns towards Crystal, who wacks him with another chair shot, across the skull! Jim jumps out of the ring, not wanting to get in the middle of this, as Crystal smacks the chair across Brock's head again, knocking him backwards through the ropes, onto the floor. Brock lets out a yell, and tries to get back in the ring, but Jim pulls him away, and towards the back, as Crystal holds the chair up, ready for Brock. ::

Michael Cole: Crystal saved Lupus, thanks to the steel chair, and Brock is ANGRY!

Coach: That is not good for anyone!

Brock growls at Crystal, pointing a finger at her. The Female Phenom stands tall, as the cameras fade out.....

(Voice over as “Three Weeks Ago” flashes over the screen.)

Michael Cole: Tonight, Crystal will team with Brock Ausstin, to face K-Money and Foshi in tag team action, with the winning team facing OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Zack Malibu in a Triple Threat Match!

(Cut to footage)

KM takes his time getting back to his feet as Crystal goes to the outside and climbs up. As she's about to come off, Brock steps in and shoves KM out of the way. He catches Crystal off the top and sets her down gently. There is a moment of confusion before Brock hits a devastating clothesline that actually takes himself down as well.

Coach:"YOU SON OF A BITCH! LET ME AT 'EM!"

MC:"COACH! SIT DOWN!"

Brock rolls to the outside and he and Heyross depart together without looking back to massive boos. Foshi comes in and goes over to Crystal to check on her. As he does, KM shoves him to the outside and places Crystal in the Bounced Check. As Crystal is already out, the ref calls for the match.

DING DING DING

Coach:"I don't believe it! Brock Ausstin cost himself the match!"

MC:"I think he felt a bit overshadowed by Crystal tonight, and that temper of his got the best of him. They don't call him Unstable for nothing."

(The screen goes blank, when the words “The Challenge” appear on the screen.)

Crystal (ignoring Heyross and focusing on Brock): “So Brock, why did you cost me a title shot at the World Title, huh? Were you feeling a little overshadowed? Maybe a little jealous?”

Heyross: “My client…”

Crystal: “Shut it, Heyross. I want to hear it from (also dripping with sarcasm) “The Current Big Thing” himself. So Brock, why?”

::Brock just glares at her. Instead of responding, he steps towards her, coming face-to-well, chest to her. Crystal isn’t going anywhere and glares right back.::

Crystal: “I am NOT intimidated by you Brock. I don’t care how big and strong you are. You don’t fuck with me, and guess what? You have. You want to fight me so badly? Why don’t you do it face-to-face in a match at the The Great Angle Bash? (smirks) That is, if you have the guts.”

::Brock is fuming at this point::

Heyross(smirking): “Brock would just love to kick your ass in a match, Crystal. See ya at Great Angle Bash...kid.”

(The words “The Attack” appear on the screen....)

(Crystal begins running after Heyross, who knows when to get his pudgy ass out of there. Heyross starts running down the hallways, screaming for his life, with Crystal following right behind him. They pass several wrestlers, and workers, as Heyross starts tossing things on the floor, to try and stop Crystal, but she just moves out of the way, or jumps over them. Heyross runs into doors, pushing them open, and runs into the back lot, where all of the OAOAST's trucks are parked. Crystal quickly follows him out, and Heyross, out of breath, finally gives up running.)

Jim: Come on Crystal, let's work this out!

(Instead of talking, Crystal just walks up to him, and decks him with a right hand, knocking the heavy Heyross to the ground. Out from the corner of the side, runs Brock Ausstin, who lets out a big grunt, as he picks the unexpecting Crystal off the ground, and runs her back first into one of the OAOAST trucks! Brock backs up, still holding on to her, and charges at the truck, once again driving Crystal back first into it. Brock tosses Crystal to the ground, and backs away, waiting orders from Heyross.)

Jim: BROCK! DO IT NOW! FINISH HER OFF!

(Brock lifts Crystal off the ground, and up onto his shoulders. Brock carried Crystal to the truck, and without warning, he spins her off his shoulders with an F-Stunner-5, but Crystal's body crashes into the truck in mid-air, then falls hard, face first onto the cold pavement! Heyman continues Brock, and Brock lifts Crystal back up to her feet, and back up onto his shoulders. Brock spins Crystal off again, with a second F-Stunner-5, and again, Crystal slams into the giant truck! Crystal falls face first to the ground again, and Brock goes to stay on the attack, but officials run out, and surround Crystal, keeping Brock away from her. Heyross gets back up to his feet, and starts pulling Brock away, with a big smile on his face. The camera closes in on the downed Crystal, as officials call for EMT's to come out to help.)

(The words “Focused” appear on the screen.)

Crystal: “You know, all I’ve heard since my match with Brock was announced is that it is a battle of David and Goliath. The underdog who needs a miracle against the unstoppable monster.”

::Crystal pauses, and then turns her head towards the camera, her eyes still shielded by her sunglasses::

Crystal: “What makes me the underdog? Is it because Brock is bigger and stronger than me? Well I have news for you. It takes more than just strength and size to win a wrestling match. It takes skill to win a wrestling match. It takes speed to win a wrestling match. It takes stamina to win a wrestling match. But more importantly, it takes heart to win a wrestling match. So really, am I the underdog?”

“See, I don’t think Brock realizes just how important this match is for me. Winning this match would send me over the top. I would be seen as a legit threat on HeldDown. It seems that you think that I will just be your stepping stone. I am NOT a stepping stone. I’ve had to work damn hard to get where I am.”

::Crystal takes off her sunglasses and looks directly into the camera, her eyes blazing::

“Brock, you think you know me, but you have no idea. But you will know. I don’t care what I have to do this Sunday, but I will be victorious. All the pain throughout the years, all the sacrifices will be worth it when my hand is raised in victory. Pain is temporary, but pride is forever.”

::Crystal puts her sunglasses on and strides out of the room. ::

(The following words appear on the screen...)

“The Female Phenom”

Crystal

Takes On...

“The Current Big Thing”

Brock Ausstin

OAOAST Great Angle Bash 2003!

Cole: Let’s get to the ring!

(“War Ensemble” by Slayer begins to start up, as “Good Ol’ ECDub” Rick Heyross walks out through the entrance way, followed by “The Current Big Thing” Brock Ausstin. Brock begins to hop around, doing his HAPPY HAPPY HIPPO~! Dance. They both make their way down towards the ring, as Crystal runs out from the entrance way, holding a steel chair. Brock, not realizing Crystal is behind him, gets struck from behind, as Crystal slams the chair into his back. Brock turns around, as Crystal lifts the chair up, and smacks Brock over the skull with it again! Brock stumbles back, as Crystal leans back, and smacks Brock with the chair again!)

Coach: Crystal is beating Brock down with the chair! She is getting her revenge on Brock!

(Brock tries to fight back, but Crystal swings the chair again, and nails Brock once more over the skull, sending him backwards into the steel post. Crystal sets up, pulling the chair back, and swings for the hills, but Brock dodges out of the way, and Crystal slams the chair into the steel post, forcing her to drop the steel chair, and squeeze her fingers in pain. Crystal turns around, as the giant Brock charges at her, lifting her off the floor, and driving her back/shoulder first into the steel post! Both instantly collapse to the floor. The referee jumps to the outside, and checks on both of them.)

Cole: What a quick start to this match!

Coach: What are you talking about Cole? THE MATCH HASN’T EVEN STARTED YET!

Cole: Well, Crystal is holding her left shoulder in pain. I think the shoulder got caught with most of the impact when Brock drove her into the steel post.

Coach: If Brock seriously injured Crystal, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO!

Cole: Stop yelling Coach. Jeez...

(Jim Heyross screams at Brock, as Brock begins to make it to his feet. Brock grabs Crystal by her hair, and pulls her up to her feet, lifting her over his shoulder in a powerslam position. Brock charges at the ring post, and lets go of Crystal, causing her to fly off his shoulder, and goes shoulder first into the steel post!!)

Cole: How gruesome!

Coach: Crystal! Brock’s going to break her arm!

Cole: She knew what she was getting into when she challenged Brock!

Coach: DON’T SAY THAT!

(Brock grabs Crystal by the hair, and pulls her up to her feet, rolling her into the ring, all the while, Jim Heyross gives out an evil laughter of enjoyment as The Female Phenom gets manhandled. Brock slides into the ring after Crystal, as does the referee, and he signals for the bell. Brock gets to his feet, and stomps away on the left shoulder of Crystal, while she tries to cover it up, but it’s no use. Brock continues pounding away on the now injured shoulder of Crystal, when Heyross starts screaming at him to end it already. Brock grabs Crystal by the hair, and pulls her up to her feet, and lifts her onto his shoulder in a powerslam position, once again. Brock backs up into a corner, and charges out into the middle of the ring, where he drops down to one knee, driving Crystal shoulder first into the open knee with a massive shoulder breaker! Crystal bounces from the impact, and lands on her back on the mat, holding her shoulder in pain, while Brock goes for the cover.)

Coach: ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! CRYSTAL KICKED OUT! THAT-A GIRL!

Cole: Brock almost won the match real quickly there.

Coach: I know, Cole. We all just saw it! But Crystal will fight back out of this! That I know for sure!

(Brock gets to his feet, and pull Crystal up behind him. Brock pulls Crystal’s arm out, and begins to pound on it with his elbow. Brock pushes Crystal back into the ropes, and whips her across the ring. Crystal runs across the ring, bouncing into the ropes, and comes charging back towards Brock. Brock ducks his head, planning for a back body drop, but Crystal sees it coming, and stops short, throwing her leg up, kicking Brock in the face, stunning him momentarily. Crystal nails Brock with a right hand, using her good arm to get full impact on the attack. Crystal nails him a few more times, before turning around, and running into the ropes facing Brock.)

Coach: CRYSTAL IS MAKING A COME BACK!

(Crystal bounces into the ropes, and comes running back full speed at Brock, ready to leap up for an attack, but Brock throws his giant boot up into the air, nailing Crystal in her left shoulder, causing her to flip inside out, and land on her back, griping her shoulder in pain.)

Coach: Damn it!

Cole: Brock went straight for the arm again, stopping Crystal from getting an advantage over him. Smart move by the Current Big Thing!

(Brock stumbles backwards into the ropes, to get his head together, before walking over to Crystal, and pulling her up to her feet. Brock wraps his giant arms around Crystal’s small body, and lifts her straight into the air, making a full 180 turn, and driving Crystal down, shoulder first into the mat with a Belly to Belly Supelx!)

Cole: Belly to Belly Suplex by Brock, but instead of dropping Crystal on her back, he drove her into the mat on her bad shoulder!

Coach: Brock going for the cover! One! Two! THREE!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!

Cole: Crystal just barely kicking out!

(Brock gets back up to his feet, obviously angry at not getting the pinfall. Brock grabs Crystal by the hair, and drags her across the ring towards the ring ropes, where he pulls her up to her feet. Brock whips Crystal across the ring, into the ropes. Crystal bounces into the ropes, and comes running back towards Brock. Brock bursts out of the spot he was standing in, and goes for a Clothesline of Mass Destruction, but Crystal ducks under it! Brock turns around, wanting to catch Crystal before she can do anything, but it’s too late, as she stops short, turns towards Brock, and leaps into the air, dropkicking Brock in the chest! Brock stumbles backwards towards the corner, as Crystal gets back to her feet, and leaps into the air, dropkicking Brock again! Brock stumbles back, waving his arms around as he almost falls backwards into the corner. Crystal gets back to her feet, and runs towards Brock, leaping into the air, hitting a front dropkick to Brock’s chest, that sends Brock flying into the corner! The crowd pops at the impact of the dropkick to Brock, and begins a “Go Crystal Go” chant, as she makes it up to her feet, shaking her fist as if getting a second wind.)

Coach: Crystal with the advantage! You Go Girl!

(Crystal walks to the corner opposite of Brock, and bursts out of it, diving to the ground with a front roll, landing half way across the ring from where she started. Crystal leaps into the air, going for a monkey flip to Brock, but Brock jumps out of the corner, and catches Crystal around the waist, and locks her in KILLING HULKAMANIACS~! Brock begins shaking her body violently, trying to get her to lose consciousness.)

Coach: Oh No!

Cole: Brock locks in the Killing Hulkamaniacs onto Crystal! If Crystal passes out from the pain, this match is over!

Coach: Fight it, Crystal! Fight it!

(Brock continues the shaking, until Crystal appears lifeless in his arms. The referee runs around to check on Crystal, and begins raising her arm, to see if she is out cold.

HE RAISES HER ARM ONCE.......!

IT DROPS!

HE RAISERS HER ARM TWICE.......!!!!!

IT DROPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE RAISES HER ARM FOR THE THIRD AND FINAL TIME...................!!!!!!!!!

IT DROPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Crystal holds her arm up, as the crowd continues cheering her, as she tries to fight the hold off! Brock squeezes with all his might, but Crystal begins to drive her elbow into his forehead. Brock refuses to let go of the hold! Crystal does the only thing she can think of............

AND BEGINS BITING BROCK’S FOREHEAD! BROCK LETS GO OF THE HOLD, AND CRYSTAL DROPS DOWN ONTO HER KNEES IN FRONT OF THE STANDING BROCK...........

AND HITS A LOW BLOW UPPERCUT TO BROCK’S GROIN!!!!!)

Coach: CRYSTAL IS FIGHTING BACK THROUGH ALL THE PAIN SHE IS FEELING!

(CRYSTAL GETS TO HER FEET, AS BROCK HOLDS HIS GROIN IN PAIN. CRYSTAL USES BROCK’S SHOULDERS TO LEAP UP, AS SHE WRAPS HER LEGS AROUND HIS HEAD, AND FLIPS BACKWARDS, FLIPPING BROCK FORWARD WITH A HURRICANRANA!!!!!! CRYSTAL GOES FOR THE PIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAR GOD NO!

Cole: Brock got a shoulder up at the last second!

Coach: It was almost over right there! She was two thirds of a quarter away from getting the three count!

(Crystal rolls on the mat, under the bottom rope onto the apron, where she gets up to her feet. Crystal begins to climb towards the top rope, as Heyross screams at Brock to get up. Brock begins to get to his feet, holding his groin, still feeling the affects of the low blow. Brock gets to a full standing position, and turns towards the corner where Crystal is.....

AND CRYSTAL LEAPS OFF THE TOP ROPE, CONNECTING WITH A TOP ROPE CROSSBODY TO BROCK! BROCK HITS THE MAT, AS CRYSTAL HAS THE MATCH WON!!!!!!!!!!)

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO ½!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO 3/4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THRE..........NO! BROCK KICKS OUT!

Coach: It was almost over! She almost had the match won with the Top Rope Crossbody!

Cole: Brock looks to be in a lot of pain, but is refusing to give up the win.

(Heyman starts screaming at both Brock and Crystal, trying to figure out how to help his client, as Crystal gets to her feet. Crystal walks over to Brock’s legs, and hooks his legs up, flipping him over into The Crystalling! Brock screams in pain, as Crystal pulls back with her submission finisher!!!!!!)

Coach: Crystal is going to make Brock tap out! Look at all the pain he is in!

Cole: Is Brock Ausstin going to lose his first one on one match up to Crystal via submission?? We are a few moments away from finding out!

(Heyross, not sure what to do, leaps up onto the apron, and begins screaming in a frenzy, causing the referee to get out of position, and yell at him to get off the apron. Crystal continues pulling back on Brock, and BROCK TAPS OUT! BROCK TAPS OUT TO THE CRYSTALLING!!!!!!! IT’S ALL OVER!!!!!!! IT’S ALL OVER!!!!!!!!! BUT THE REFEREE IS DISTRACTED!!! Crystal releases the hold on Brock, and marches over to the referee and Heyross.......

AND CRYSTAL GETS HER REVENGE, AS SHE NAILS HEYROSS WITH A RIGHT HOOK THAT KNOCKS HIM OFF THE APRON TO THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!)

Coach: That fat slob got what was coming to him!!!!!

Cole: Heyross may be knocked out after that right hook!

(Crystal turns back towards Brock, who is now struggling to his feet. Crystal leans down, ready to strike, and begins her charge at Brock, as Brock turns around. Brock sees Crystal coming, and sidesteps her, but in his confusion, HE SIDESTEPS TO THE WRONG SIDE, AND CRYSTAL STILL HITS BROCK WITH A SPEAR!!!!!! THEY BOTH FALL TO THE MAT, AS CRYSTAL HIT BROCK WITH HER INJURED SHOULDER!!!! BROCK HOLDS HIS RIBS, AND CRYSTAL HOLDS HER SHOULDER, AS THE REFEREE IS FORCES TO START THE COUNT OUT, AS BOTH COMPETITORS ARE DOWN!)

Coach: Crystal hit Brock with the Spear!

Cole: But Brock sidestepped Crystal, so instead of Crystal hitting Brock with her good arm, like she planned, Brock moves onto the OTHER side of Crystal, causing her to hurt her arm, once more! Very smart move by the Current Big Thing!

Coach: Cole! We want Crystal to win!

Cole: Oh...uhh....right!

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Brock begins to move, as he turns over onto his stomach.)

SIX!!!!!!!!!!

SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Crystal turns onto her stomach, still clutching her shoulder, as she begins to make her way up.)

EIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TE.......NO!

(Brock gets up to his feet, and stumbles around, just BARELY breaking the ten count. Brock turns towards Crystal, who is doubled over, facing away from him, holding her shoulder in pure agony. Brock walks over to Crystal, and grabs her by her tights, and hair, and charges towards the corner, still holding her, AND SPIKES CRYSTAL SHOULDER FIRST THROUGH THE MIDDLE AND TOP ROPE INTO THE STEEL RING POST, CAUSING A LOUD THUD SOUND TO ECHO THROUGHOUT THE ARENA!!!!!!!)

Coach: OH MY GOD! THAT WAS SICKENING!

Cole: GRUESOME ACT BY BROCK AUSSTIN!

(Brock stumbles around a bit, shaking the cobwebs out of his head, before making his way back to Crystal, and pulling her small, lifeless body out from between the ropes. Brock lifts Crystal up onto his shoulders, Death Valley Driver style, and makes his way into the middle of the ring, where he swings her body off of his and drives her face first into the mat with the F-Stunner-5! Brock makes the cover, as the unconscious Crystal lays under him.)

ONE!!!!!!!!!

Cole: Brock did the smart thing, by driving Crystal into the ring post. Crystal has no energy left to kick out of the F-Stunner-5!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The referee gets up, and signals for the bell, and Brock rolls off of Crystal, and lies still on the mat, catching his breath.)

Ring Announcer: Here is your winner of the match, “The Current Big Thing” Brock Ausstin!!!!!

Cole: These two put on one hell of a match up tonight, but Brock Ausstin came out on top!

Coach: But Crystal stood toe to toe with the Monster of Helddown!, and she deserves a round of applause.

Cole: That she does.

(“War Ensemble” starts up again, but instead of getting out of the ring, to celebrate his victory, Brock gets to his feet, and walks to the ring ropes, where Jim Heyross, back up after getting nailed in the jaw by Crystal, hands Brock a steel chair! Brock takes the chair, and turns towards Crystal, who is still out cold. Brock lifts the chair above his head, and slams it down, into the chest of Crystal, causing massive boos from all around the arena. Brock lifts the chair up again, but suddenly, a unknown man slides into the ring, and quickly low blows Brock!! Brock drops the chair, as he stumbles backwards to see the assailant. The man picks up the steel chair, and smacks it over Brock’s head, causing Brock to fall backwards through the ring ropes, onto the floor! Brock instantly gets to his feet, and goes to get back in the ring, but Jim Heyross grabs Brock, and starts to pull him back away from the ring, towards the locker room, as the man drops the chair, and checks on Crystal, as EMT’s rush to the ring.)

Coach: Crystal is hurt....

Cole: Brock destroyed Crystal’s shoulder, only to end her suffering with an F-Stunner-5. No one has ever kicked out of the F-Stunner-5, and tonight, it still stands. Brock is still undefeated, and has injured another worker.

Coach: But who was that mystery man that saved Crystal?

Cole: I don’t know, but I’m sure we will find out, as this feud may be far from over!

(The camera fades to black, to show a promotional video for the main event of the evening, Zack Malibu vs. Stephen Joseph in a Casket Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship!)

[Chanel #99]

JR: Well folks, tonight you will be witnessing the in ring debut of not one, but two OAOAST stars. The match you are about to witness has actually been building up for longer than any of us could have expected.

Jesse: That's right, JR. You've got country music sensation, Banky, in one corner and a half legend from Japan in Dangerous A.

JR: Now come on Jesse. Dangerous A is an accomplished and highly skilled wrestler from the Orient. We are glad to have him compete here in the OAOAST. Banky, well, I'd just rather not touch that right now.

Jesse: Why are you hating on Banky so much, JR? Are you jealous that you weren't invited to his ranch for one of his legendary parties like I was at this last weekend? Ernest "The Cat" Miller and I were there and we had a blast.

JR: I'm sure you did. I hope for his sakes that he's also been training and getting in some last ditch training because he'll have his hands full tonight.

Jesse: JR, he hardly hosted the party. He was busy showing everyone at the party the tapes of DA and how he was going to deal with him tonight.

JR: I am getting word that Kevin Kelly is backstage ready to talk with the one and only Banky. Take it away, Kevin.

(cut to backstage interview area)

Kevin Kelly: I am here with country music star and future wrestling star, I assume, Ban...

(Banky spits tobacco in Kevin Kelly's face)

Banky: That's what you get for cutting me off last night on Aggression, you little pissant! No one cuts off Banky. Not you, not the fans, not Dames, not my music production assistants, not anyone! (Kevin begins to wipe the spit off his face and is shoved out of the picture frame by Banky)

Go on, get the fuck outta here! Dangerous A, this has been a long time coming. Longer than when you kicked me in my grill a couple of weeks ago. This goes back some 10 years, boy. You don't want to train me? Fine. I wouldn't want to train me neither. Especially if I saw that I would eventually surpass my teacher. And that was just it, wasn't it? You saw that I had potential to break out and be a star. So what'd you do? You held me back. You refused to train me. Well, I went on without you and got training and now that training is fixing to get in your ass! You have no idea about me or my style. I leave promotions too quickly for anyone to get a fix on my weaknesses. That's also why I have not one, but two trainers. Chainsaw and Hector. That's right. Those guys aren't just my bodyguards and backup. They trained me into the fine precision athlete you see before you today.(takes vest off to show highly defined pecs and muscular arms) The time for talking is done. I'm heading to the ring now, DA. Let's just see if your neck, you know, the one with the yellow streak running down it, will hold up. Let's just see if you've got the guts to play a tune with this country music badass!

(Banky leaves the set)

JR: That was uncalled for. Kevin Kelly did not deserve that.

Jesse: Anyone bullying Kevin Kelly is a friend of mine. Hold on JR, I'm getting word from the back that Kevin Kelly has cleaned up that tobacco spit and is with Dangerous A right now. Man, he's fast.

(cut to the back with Kevin and DA)

Kevin: Jesse, I heard what you said and I really don't appreciate it. Anyways, I am here with the incomparable Dangerous A and his son, Christopher. How about a high five, Chris! (Kevin hangs his hand up to get a high five, but Christopher sees he's a dork and leaves him hanging) Well, I am not sure I should say that since we haven't even seen you in the ring here in the OAOAST yet.

Dangeorus A: That's ok Kevin, because very shortly I will let my wrestling do the talking for me. Speaking of talking that is what that bastard Banky has been doing a lot since the contract signing. He's been saying this and that about how he hasn't been avoiding me or Dames request to speak with him about a match. He's been running his mouth like the jackass he is ever since that contract has been signed and I'll tell you why. Because he's scared. He's scared of what I can do to him. He is scared of what I will do to him now that he's involved my family. You see, now that he's involved my family, this has become more than a match. It's become a lesson. A lesson that Banky needs to learn. That lesson is that you don't mess with a man's family. Especially if that man is the Scourge of the Orient. Especially if that man can kick your head off your fuckin shoulders and Banky, that's exactly what I'm coming to do to you. (DA and Christopher leave the area)

Kevin Kelly: Back to you, JR.

JR: Wow. Dangerous A looked to be mighty pissed and he has a right to. Banky had no business kidnapping his son or going on his property for whatever reason.

Jesse: How can DA raise his kid the way he does, swearing on live television like that. He's a bad role model.

JR: Your friend Banky has been swearing like a sailor since he stepped foot in this promotion.

Jesse: But my friend Banky is a mainstream country music star. His albums are clean. They don't even have parental advisory stickers or nothing. Besides, it's the thought of combat that gets him all riled up and out of control.

JR: Lets go to the ring!

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen the next match is scheduled for one fall with a forty five minute time limit. Introducing first, from Tokyo, Japan weighing in at 240 ibs, accompanied to the ring by his son Christopher, this is Dangerous A!!!!!

"Mr Brownstone" begins blaring out of the speakers.The lights go out in the arena and a lone spotlight hits the entranceway. Standing there with Christopher is Dangerous A. DA is wearing his customary entrance gear of sunglasses and a long leather duster. Christopher is dressed exactly like his father.

JR: Listen to the ovation that Dangerous A and Christopher are getting here at the Great Angle Bash!

Jesse: Christopher looks like a DA mini-me. This may not be a smart move bringing young Christopher to ringside. I said it last week on IZ and I'll say it again tonight, that it's dangerous down there. The danger level gets higher if Banky brings Hector and Chainsaw.

JR: Yeah, Hector and Chainsaw. There's two outstanding citizens. They've only committed trespassing and kidnapping the last month.

Dangerous A and his son step inside the ring and DA hits the four posts with his fists in the air. DA removes his duster and sunglasses calmly. He is not in the least nervous.

Ring Announcer: And introducing the opponent, from Bakersfield, CA weighing in at 248 ibs, Banky!!

"Walk on the Wild Side" now blares from the speakers. Banky, anchored by Hector and Chainsaw, skips his way to the ring. Banky is wearing a black leather vest that says BANKYWOOD Industries on the back and a cowboy hat. He is also carrying his trustee guitar. Trash is thrown from several areas towards the aisleways.

JR: This crowd seems like they want to take Banky apart before he even gets in the ring and he's deserved every curse thrown at him for what he's done.

Jesse: I am not gonna sit here and listen to you player hate on my favorite country music star, Banky.

JR: Did you just say player hate? Gosh, the level of your announcing has hit an all time low.

Jesse: What are you talking about, JR?

Jr: Nevermind. Watch the replay of the show and listen to yourself.

Banky enters the ring and mocks playing his guitar. He looks to take a swing with the guitar at DA, but DA stands there, unphased. The ref steps in before he can think about it. Both men finally have their entrance garb off and begin to circle each other to start their war.

Dames appears at the entrance ramp.

Dames: Before this match up begins, I have to iron out some last minute things for this match. First off, at the request of both men, the match is now a no DQ match. (crowd errupts)

Dames: Now to address something personal. Last monday, Hector and Chainsaw put their hands on me and restrained me from going about my business in attempting to stop a physical altercation between Banky and Dangerous A. I don't appreciate that and as a result, I AM BANNING BOTH CHAINSAW AND HECTOR FROM THE MATCH AND THE BUILDING!!!! Security, will you please escort the two gentlemen off the premises. (15 security guards come out from all sides of the arena and start shoving Chainsaw and Hector around)

JR: What shocking developments right before the match!!!

Jesse: Hey, this isn't fair. Why do Banky's guys get booted but DA's ratty little son Christopher get to stay at ringside? This isn't fair at all, JR.

In the ring, Banky is livid. Banky screams obscenities at Dames. Dames waves goodbye in a mocking manner as he walks behind security. Banky stomps his feet on the ground and then charges Dangerous A!!

Banky pushes DA into a corner and begins waffling DA with lefts and rights. The ref signals for the bell to start the match.

JR: Banky pounced DA like rabid dog!

Jesse: He's pissed. I've seen Banky pissed and you don't want him that way.

Banky wails away at DA. DA slumps in the corner. Banky starts stomping with bad intentions all over DA's head and body. Banky stands on DA's head with both feet and holds his hands up mockingly to the crowd!! The ref tries to get Banky away from the corner, but Banky just shoves the ref to the floor. DA gets back up to a vertical base, but Banky takes him back down with a snapmare takeover and then football punts DA right in the back.

DA gets up very upset. DA and Banky lock horns up and Banky slowly starts to overpower DA. DA starts to come back up to his feet. Banky puts DA down with kick to the solarplexes. Banky goes for a short arm clothesline which is ducked. Banky's chest is met with a pec splattering chop that echoes through the arena. Banky does down in a heap. His eyes bulge out of his head like he just saw God. Banky bails out to the floor.

JR: Wow, the force on that chop just sent shivers up my spine.

Jesse: He put all his hatred into that blow.

DA measures Banky on the outside, pulls back a few steps and bursts through the ropes with a tope suicida!!!

JR: Wow! Dangerous A, not normally known for flying, takes a huge risk and hits a high risk dive on Banky!!

Jesse: Just goes to show you that these guys are gonna do things they normally don't do to kill one another.

DA gets up first, but is met with a rake to the eyes. DA tries to rub it off and charges after Banky, who drop toe hold's DA into the guard rail. Banky then gets behind DA and German Suplex's DA on the floor!!

JR: We are just minutes into this one and already Banky has hit a match turning move on the floor.

Jesse: It shows the brilliance of Banky. Banky injured DA's neck last monday and that's what he's going after.

Banky heads back in the ring and prances around. He mocks the injured neck of DA. He looks over at young Christopher and gives him the finger. Christopher gives it back. Banky gets back out of the ring and goes after Christopher. DA's son starts to run towards his dad for salvation. Banky goes in for the prey and is met by a Yakuza Kick to the face! Another chop. And another chop. DA winds Banky up and whips him into the guardrail. DA, tired of the outside the ring antics, takes Banky back into the ring.

Jesse: See, Christopher is nothing but a distraction.

JR: He was being chased by Banky. Banky initiated the whole thing.

Inside the ring, DA whips Banky into the ropes and goes for a back body drop, but Banky puts the brakes on and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Banky hits the chinlock to work away on DA's neck.

Banky cranks away at the chinlock. Christopher pounds on the mat trying to rally his dad. The crowd rallies in unison with young Chris. DA slowly moves to a vertical base and starts to pump himself up through the cheers of the crowd. He pumps his fists to show he knows they are pulling for him. He elbows Banky. Banky won't let go. He elbows Banky again. This time Banky lets go. He lays into Banky with more chops. He chops Banky's chiseled chest red as a beet into the corner. DA backs himself out of the corner. He then runs full speed at Banky and drills him in the face with a running high kick in the corner!

JR: The velocity of that might've given Banky whiplash.

Jesse: Why is Dangerous A trying to mess up Banky's face? He's got a singing career and needs to look good for album covers for crying out loud!

Banky crumples to his knees in the corner. DA measures him and kicks him across the chest with his shin. He does it again. Three, four, five times. The crowd just ooohhhs with every thumping kick to Banky's chest. DA takes Banky out of the corner, whips him into the ropes and gets a belly to belly overhead throw. Banky tries to sit up, but is kicked back down by DA. DA stands Banky back up and nails a backdrop driver. DA goes for a cover. 1..........2....nope. Banky kicks out.

DA sends Banky into the ropes and misses a lariat. Banky comes back the other way and hits a flying shoulder block that knocks DA off of his feet. Banky grabs DA and starts to give forearm slug shots to the back of DA's neck. Each shot echoes into the air. Each shot sends DA into more and more pain. Banky screams to the crowd "you wanna see me break his fuckin neck?!" Boos reign down on the country music star.

Banky lifts DA over his shoulder and hits the Banky Driver '69!!!(sitout tombstone) Banky goes for a cover 1.....2....DA kicks out.

Banky lays DA on his stomach and grabs his legs, puts them in a figure four postion and drops back.

Jesse: It's the Banky Deathlock! (indian deathlock)

Banky keeps getting up and bumping back down, twisting up DA's knees.

Jesse: This is sound strategy, JR. Banky saw that the kicks are DA's big weapon and he's attempting to soften up the legs so the kicks won't be so harsh.

Banky, while holding the Banky Deathlock, bridges backwards so his nose is touching the mat and grabs DA's neck in a neck crank while holding the Banky Deathlock!!

Jesse: This is a stunning debut by the country singer! Look at that. He's working the neck and the legs at the same time. Banky is a genius!

JR: He has been trained well and his gameplan is outstanding here Jesse, as much as I hate to admit it.

Banky screams at the ref to ask Dangerous A if he wants to quit. DA tells the ref no. DA starts to slowly inch his way to the ropes. As DA's fingers grab a hold of the ropes for the break, Banky is already up. Banky comes crashing down on DA's neck with an elbow drop. Banky goes for a german suplex, DA reverses behind him and attempts a german of his own. Banky gets away from the german attempt, faces DA and slaps him right across the face! DA IS STUNNED! Banky slaps him again!! DA gives Banky a look like "did you just fuckin do that?"

DA tears into Banky with a combination of chops and right hands. He gets him in the corner and and starts up more rapid fire soccer kicks to Banky's face. More pec splattering chops! It's an ass whuppin galore

JR: What the hell was Banky thinking when he slapped Dangerous A?

Jesse: After that beating, I don't know either.

DA pulls Banky out of the corner and lands Banky straight on his back with a slammin STO! DA covers

1

2

2.9 kickout by Banky

DA lifts up Banky blasts him with an enzigiri. Banky is still standing. DA decides to hit him with a gamengiri straight on into Banky's face. Banky is now opened up hardway from the corner of his eye.

JR: Dangerous A will kick your head right into the middle of next week if he can.

Jesse: I wonder how much money Banky is going to lose in endorsement deals if he is disfigured by this maniac.

As DA is about to cover, Banky punches DA square in the balls!!! Not a low blow, a flat on swing that connects with DA's nuts. DA goes down in a heap.

JR: The nerve of the bastard.

Jesse: It's no DQ. Dames called it and Banky is taking advantage of it.

Banky starts to slowly shake some of his cobwebs loose. He reaches down into his tights and pulls out some Skoal chewing tobacco. He puts a wad into the side of his cheek. The crowd gasps in a collective "EEEEWWWWW". Banky gives the audience the middle finger salute.

JR: Not very sanitary. Kids, please don't do that at home.

Jesse: I gotta agree. I love the Bankster, but I wouldn't chew tobacco that's been neighbooring around my scrotum.

Banky starts to rapid fire kick DA in the face just like DA did earlier. Banky prances around DA's prone body and as DA is about to get to his feet, he kicks him back down. Banky even does a Ralph Macchio style and crane kicks DA in the head!!

JR: That's just not right. Now he's mocking him.

Jesse: Hey, it's an ass whipping with style to it.

Banky tries to go for one of DA's favorite kicks, the shin kick across the chest. Banky goes for it. His foot is caught by DA!! Banky is stuck on one foot hopping around. DA looks to possibly go for a dragon screw leg whip, but Banky lifts his other foot and attempts to enziugiri DA.

DA ducks!! Banky lands on his stomach. DA half crabs Banky, pinches the front of Banky's ankle across his thigh, reaches back and crossfaces Banky.

IT'S THE DREADED STF!!!!!!!! BANKY IS FUCKED!!!!

JR: That's DA's finisher made famous by his legendary trainer and master, Masahiro Chono!!

Jesse: Banky, fight it out and make the ropes! Your singing career hangs in the balance!!

DA cranks the hold in hard. Banky screams and shrieks in pain, tobacco juice dribbling down his chin and on DA's arms. Banky slowly inches for the ropes. Slowly, but surely, Banky gets closer. Banky is now just inches away from the ropes, but DA hammers on Banky's free hand that is trying to grab on the ropes.

DA grabs Banky's arm and hammerlocks Banky's free arm behind him and continues to squeeze on the STF!!!!

JR: What a ring general DA is! He felt and saw Banky going for the ropes and cut it off at the pass!

Jesse: Banky is in big trouble right now.

Banky starts swiveling his way way towards the ropes using his free leg. He inches slowly, but surely and finally his foot breaks the plane where the ropes are. Ref calls for the break. DA drags Banky to the middle of the ring and goes for a cover...

1

2

Banky with a shoulder up!!!

JR: Banky is very resilient, as much as I hate to admit it.

Jesse: He can pull this out. Just watch.

DA elbow strikes Banky to the face. Banky returns fire. DA elbows him again trying to send a message. Banky gives him another elbow back telling him he didn't get the message.

Both men blast each other in the face with elbow after elbow!!! Hardway blood flies from both men's faces, yet they are not letting up. Each elbow shot gets faster and harder!! SHOT FOR SHOT! ELBOW FOR ELBOW! CRASHING BLOW AFTER CRASHING BLOW!!!!

JR: BOTH MEN ARE JUST DROPPING BOMBS ON EACH OTHER FOLKS!! THIS IS LIKE A BOXING PRIZEFIGHT WITH ELBOWS!!!

Jesse: I think Banky has forsaken his looks and is just trying to survive this match! This is heated and it's both men's first matches in the OAOAST!!! They are drawing blood from those blows and both men are wearing elbow pads on those elbows!!!

Both men finally hit each other at the same time with elbows and both go down in a heap. The ref starts up a standing 10 count.

1

Both men are shown with hardway blood flowing from anywhere on their faces. DA has a bloodied mouth and a cut above the eyebrow. The cut in the corner of Banky's eye is opened up even more and his nose is gushing blood and tobacco chunks scattered around his mouth.

2

Both men slowly start to move their limbs, trying to get feeling back in their extremities.

3

Both men get to their knees. DA looks over and glares at Banky. Banky glares right back. The crowd is clamoring for both men to get to their feet.

4

DA gets to his knees and starts removing his elbow pad.?!

5

DA rolls his elbow pad over to Banky. Banky starts to remove his elbow pad and rolls it over to DA!?

6

Banky starts putting DA's elbow pad on!! DA takes Banky's elbow pad and does the same!!! The crowd is in a frenzy!!

7

Both men slowly start to get to their feet, neither one taking their eyes off the other.

8

Both men are now back up to their feet. DA screams at Banky "LET'S FINISH THIS!!"

Banky answers through his blood and tobacco stained mouth, "BRING IT, BITCH!!"

The crowd is roaring.

JR: BAH GAWD! WE'VE JUST SEEN THE BIGGEST SHOW OF RESPECT AMONGST THESE 2 COMPETITORS WHO DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER!!!

Jesse: I've never seen this before in my life, JR. This show of respect is surreal!!

And both men go right back to elbowing the shit and piss out of each other!! Each elbow more sharper than the next. Both men dropping elbow strike after elbow strike! The crowd is hopping up and down at the thunderous exchange!!

JR: These men have shown their respect and are now going back to killing each other!!

Jesse: How much punishment is there left to take? The human body isn't meant for this kind of brutality!

DA gets the upper hand with three straight unanswered elbows. He flings Banky into the ropes and decapitates Banky with a Lariat!! Cover by DA

1

2

3....no, last second shoulder nudge to beat the count!!

DA waits for Banky to get up and DA drills him with yet another Yakuza Kick. The kick flings Banky opposite of DA. DA comes off the ropes and drills him again with another Yakuza Kick. DA goes for a third, but Banky sprays tobacco juice in Dangeorus A's eyes(a la Tajiri)!!! He snaps him up and delivers a Banky Bone Suplex (exploder suplex)

JR: What a counter and desparation move by Banky! The chewing tobacco has come into play!

Jesse: Now go in for the kill.

Banky gets DA up, hooks his arm around his neck and lifts DA up to the air! He moves his body to the side and slingshots DA's legs and brainbuster's DA!

Jesse: THE SLINGSHOT BANKY BUSTER!!! THIS THING IS OVER!!!

Banky gets a cover...

1

2

3.....not really! A split second kickout by DA!!!!!!!!!

JR: This doggone fight isn't over yet! There's still fight left in DA!!

Jesse: That was a slow count, JR. No one gets up from a Slingshot Banky Buster, especially when you already have a bad neck! [/]i

Christopher slides his way into the ring to hand his dad a towel to wipe the horrid tobacco spit from his face. Banky sees this and stalks his way towards DA's son.

Jesse: This is not good for Christopher. I told you he shouldn't be there at ringside. Now he's gonna get it.

Banky grabs young Christopher and flings him across the ring. Boos roar from the crowd. Banky slowly walks towards Chris, chewing his tobacco with his mouth open very disgustingly. He mocks a japanese karate stance and attempts to kick Chris. Christopher ducks out of the way and Yakuza Kick's Banky's knee out from under him!!! Banky crumples down to one knee!!

JR: CHRISTOPHER WITH A YAKUZA KICK!!! CHRISTOPHER WITH A YAKUZA KICK TO BANKY!!!

Dangerous A sees this in the corner of his eye.

He kips up from a kneeling position. DA runs toward's Banky, springs off of Banky's own leg, AND DRILLS HIM DEAD IN THE FACE WITH AN UNHEARD OF.......

SHINING YAKUZA KICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The crowd hops up and down at the sight of the move!!!

JR: Did you see the impact of that kick?!?!? DID YOU HEAR IT, JESSE?!??!! I've never before in my life seen a shining Yakuza Kick!

Jesse: OH MY GOD, LOOK AT BANKY'S FACE!!! IT'S COMPLETELY DESTROYED!!!

The camera pans down to see Banky lying on the mat. Blood is pouring out of every orifice in his face. It pours out of Banky's mouth, nose, ears, even his eyes!! It looks like Banky is crying tears of blood. His nose looks completely shoved into his face!!

DA grabs Banky and drags his carcass to the center of the ring. A huge path of blood and teeth smears the canvas where Banky's face was dragged. Banky groans like he's half dead.

DA lays Banky on his stomach, crosses his legs into a figure four shape, pins the front of Banky's ankle onto the front of his thigh, and crossfaces him!!

IT'S AN INDIAN DEATHLOCK STF!!!!!!

JR: OH MY GAWD!! Banky's going nowhere. Is he even conscious??!! DA only uses that move in extreme situations!!

Jesse: The ref has got to stop the match!! It's not about his career anymore, but his well being!! Look at his face, JR!! This is the result of all those kicks to the face and it culminated with that spectacular Shining Yakuza Kick.

DA squeezes harder and harder on the facelock. Banky, who unfortunately is still conscious, lets off a horrid sound out of his mouth. It's not words, but sounds. The sound is horriffying to anyone who can hear them. The ref looks like he's going to be sick. The ringside fans have stopped cheering and watch in horrror because Banky is just a feet away from them and the sound is sickening to them as well.

The sound is the sound of gurgling!! Banky is gurgling his own blood!!!

Slowly Banky's arms flail away with less and less life in them. Then the flailing stops. DA does not. He continues to pull across Banky's hamburger-like face. All movement from Banky except heavy breathing. The ref checks Banky's arm to see if he can continue.

Banky's arm drops once.

JR: Banky's finished, Jesse.

Banky's arm drops twice.

Jesse: I am calling EMT's right now. This is no longer a match. It's an execution. I now know why they call him the Scourge of the Orient.

Banky's arm drops for a third time.

DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!!

Winner of the match in 19:44 by knockout: DANGEROUS A!!!!!!!!!

EMT's immediately hit the ring. "Mr Brownstone" blares from the speakers as Dangerous A grabs his son and heads towards the aisleway. He knows his son shouldn't see what he's done to Banky. The EMT's cover the face of Banky immediately because there are children watching the show. Banky is loaded onto a gurney.

Dames makes his way onto the entrance. He has a look of remorse on his face as he stares at the EMT's working on Banky. Dangerous A and Christopher make their way past him. Dames gives DA a look like he went too far. DA just glares back.

JR: I think even Dames has concern for Banky right now. Banky's face looks absolutely horrible. However it happened in the context of the match and Banky asked for it. He messed with a man's family and now, unfortunately, he's just been given that lesson Dangerous A had promised him.

Jesse: How can you sit there and say that what happened was in the context of the match? If it wasn't for Christopher's interference, Banky wouldn't be lying there on a gurney. His wrestling career is probrably over and his singing career could be over. You can't sell albums with a Phantom of the Opera look, JR. Dames is the one who let Christopher stay at ringside and that's why he's out here looking at the results of his decision. There's blood on Dames hands. That's why he's out there.

JR: What a debut. I've never seen such a heated OAOAST debut that may have featured the first and last match of one of the participants. We'll have to keep you fans posted on the condition of Banky as we get more info. As for Dangerous A, he's made a huge impact in his very first match. OAOAST stars should beware of the Scourge of the Orient.

[Chanel #99]

“Another Brick In The Wall” By Pink Floyd hits and The Superstar stalk to the ring with a determined look in his eyes. Superstar reaches under the ring and pulls out a chair and tosses it into the ring, he also pulls out a table and sets it up in the middle of the ring. “SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT” by Nirvana screams through the arena. Cobainwasmurdered walks down the ramp carrying a Ladder. CWM props the ladder up outside and climbs up it and poses for the crowd as his PYRO~! Hits.

Superstar charges out of the ring and before CWM can climb off the ladder he tips it over sending CWM head first into the barrier wall! Superstar stomps on CWM and bashes it into the barrier for extra effect. Superstar taunts the crowd and body slams CWM on the fallen ladder. Superstar waves the Ref over and tells him to start the 10 count. 1…2…3…CWM starts to stir though and Superstar lays the boots to him and tosses him into the ring.

Superstar picks up a chair and motions for CWM to get up. CWM gets to his knees and Superstar swings but CWM rolls out of the way. Superstar tries again but CWM dropkicks the chair into his face. CWM climbs back to his feet and pulls Superstar up by his hair. CWM picks Superstar up for a suplex but drops him chest first on the top rope. CWM pulls Superstar over to the table and lays him on top of the table. CWM climbs to the top rope and goes for a flying splash but Superstar rolls off the table and CWM goes through! The Ref starts the 10 count on both men. 1…2…3….4…Superstar uses the ropes to get up…5….6…CWM starts to move…7…CWM staggers to his feet, blood running from his forehead where a table shard cut him up.

Superstar circles around the broken table and tries to sneak up behind the still dazed CWM, but CWM catches him and Irish whip him into the turnbuckle and hits a Body Splash! CWM tears off the padding from the top turnbuckle and rams Superstar into it! Superstar is wearing a crimson mask! CWM goes to ram Superstar into the exposed turnbuckle again but Superstar blocks it with a mule kick and this time it’s CWM’S cranium meeting the exposed steel! Superstar rolls out of the ring and picks up the fallen ladder and pushes it into the ring. He uses it to smash CWM repeatedly in the ribs before setting it up in the corner.

Superstar picks CWM and goes to whip him into the corner but CWM reverses and Superstar flies into the ladder hitting it as such a high velocity he falls out of the ring! CWM tells the ref to start the count. 1…2…3…4…5…no sign of life from Superstar…6…7…8…Superstar starts to move…9…Superstar uses the Ring Apron to get to his feet, and just in time! CWM goes for a baseball slide but Superstar dodges and hits a Superkick knocking CWM onto the announce table! Superstar scales the ropes and goes for a Moonsault…it hits! Both men are lying unconscious in a pile of broken wood! The Ref starts the count once again 1…2…3…4…5…both men start to regain their senses and as the count reaches 8 they use each other to get to their feet!

You can see the exhaustion setting in on both men, their blood is dripping down their bodies so badly it’s a shock they haven’t passed out from blood loss. Superstar slaps CWM but it seems to invigorate CWM who tosses Superstar into the ropes and hits a BIG Back Body Drop! CWM picks Superstar up…CONSPIRACY BOMB~! The ref starts the count 1…2…3…4…5…6...7…8…But CWM stops the ref! He isn’t done yet! CWM goes outside and grabs another steel chair! CWM picks up Superstar and goes for the home run swing…but Superstar collapses to his knees and CWM’S swing misses! Superstar has enough energy left to hit a low blow! Superstar sets a table up and Superstar signals for THE FALL FROM HEAVEN TOP ROPE BRAINBUSTER! He lifts CWM into place and tries to lift him into the air but CWM blocks! Superstar tries again but CWM hits him hard in the ribs and stands up on the top rope carefully balancing he picks Superstar up…oh my god…TOP ROPE CONSPIRACY BOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!

Both men are dead! The ref starts the 10 count…1…2…3…4…5…no one is moving…6…7…8…CWM stirs!…9…Just at the Ref is about to count to 10 CWM NIPS UP! 10! CWM WINS! CWM WINS!

Winner: Cobainwasmurdered

CWM stumbles into the crowd where he can be seeing drinking beer…Canadian of course with all of his fans.

[Chanel #99]

CUE: "Simply Ravishing"

JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA (Voice-Over)

It's time once again for everybody's favorite talk-show --

THE BODY SHOP!

JESSE (V.O.)

Tonight's guest -- challenging for the OAOAST Championship in a Casket match -- leader of the Trinity...STEPHEN JOSEPH~!

Crowd boos.

JESSE (V.O.)

And Tony reads VIEWER MAIL~! All that NEXT on THE BODY SHOP!

The PRYO shoots off as the sold-out crowd BOOS TONY "THE BODY," who walks onto the TBS set, still sporting a bandage on his head after getting hit by a lightbulb last month -- and sits behind his desk.

TONY

Welcome again, my fat, out-of-shape, snicker-eating fatasses, to another installment of "The Body Shop."

SOMEBODY IN CROWD

You're worse than Kilborn!

TONY (CONT'D)

Yes, I have yet to quit. And I won't because I know all you little people need me in their sad lives.

Ladies, please don't worry. I know I have a bandage over my head; tripped over a fan who passed out after fainting when she saw me. I do that to a lot of females. But unlike our World Champion, I can actually get laid with a woman who's awake.

*RIMSHOT*

Crowd groans and boos Tony.

TONY

And yes, I love verbally abusing Zack at any chance I have. There's only room for one pretty boy, and that's me!

Okay. A week ago, I got a call from TSM officials asking me to go to their offices and pick up all the viewer mail they've been receiving since TBS returned on pay-per-view. For those who have nothing better to do than write letters to me, I'm going to read some of these before bringing out my guest, one of my good friends -- the president of the Some Guy Must Die fan club, Stephen Joseph.

Crowd boos at the mention of Stephen.

TONY

Letter #1.

To Tony,

YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!

Matt

Philly, PA

TONY

Matt, you brat, you are clearly confused. Being as perfect as I am, people become jealous at success.

Letter #2

Tony,

What in the world is wrong with the Yankees? I'm trying everything to get these guys to bust their butts, but nothing seems to work. Satan is right behind and we must keep them at bay.

George

Brox, NY

TONY

Georgie, baby, you gotta start sending those over-paid babies a lesson. I say fire Joe and hire yourself as manager. You still have years left.

Letter #3

Hi-ya,

Tony, why do you always pick on Zack? Instead of bashing him, you should have me on the show. He's soooooooo cute, you'd get more women watching your show.

Pam

RI

TONY

First off you dumb bitch, the ONLY cute man in the OAOAST is ME -- TONY "THE BODY~!"

My staff conducted a poll with FOX NEWS, and we found out 99.9% of America dislikes Mr. Malibu. We want ratings, not low-lifes.

By the way, add an 'S' to your name and it spells SPAM. That's what your letter was.

Last letter.

What up, Mr. T

What are your thoughts about what's going on in the world?

"Jammin'" Salmon

CA

TONY

I didn't expect a serious question after the opening to your letter. But my thoughts are this: call the OAOAST hotline at 1-900-909-9900, and "Mean" Gene was tell you what to think.

We close up the mailbag with that. When we returned...Stephen Joseph!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK...

TONY

And we're back. Gotta love those 5 seconds commericals, huh.

Please welcome, the leader of the Trinity -- Stephen Joseph!

TONY

Please welcome...Stephen Joseph!

CUE: Puff Daddy, "Come With Me". The Stage explodes in a swath of white blinding heat, knocking Tony out of his seat. He calmly covers for himself, brushing his silken designer shirt off with the care of a poor boy to his new car. Stephen Joseph walks out admist the greatest booing of his lifetime, and that can't knock the confidence off his face. It's all a mask anyways.

TONY

Welcome to The Body Shop, Mr. Joseph.

Stephen, some people are still a little befuddled at how the Trinity came about. For the people who are tuning in for the first time tonight, to see ME, how did this group come together?

STEPHEN

Well Tony, I don't think they came to just see you firstly, though I'll rightly admit that since we added the BODY SHOP to our PPV's, our buy-rates have gone up fifteen percent. They came Tony, because they wanted to know why? SO I've got a fairy tale to tell Tony…Smores?

TONY

Sure.

STEPHEN

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was a just man named Zack, who stood up for his friends against an evil emperor. He even befriended people society said he should shun, teaching them how to be "cool" and "hip". Life was good.

Then things changed Tony. Zack's best friend in the whole wide world, Ed, had himself a right fine girl. A girl ANY man would want. But very good, and very faithful girl…that is, until Ed ran into a rough time. Of course Zack was right there to help out, even if it meant spending more and more time with Alison. They were just friends right? No, for everything Zack had, he didn't have the love of a woman…we all know what happened in his last relationship. You know, Zack has QUITE the ego that needs to be fed, and if it isn't fed.

TONY

This is the greatest story ever!

STEPHEN

So Edward lost his girl to Zack, who was better looking, richer, he had everything. About this time the evil emperor was kicking his invasion into high gear, and each side had its knight. One on, was a man named Jake, the other had one named Stephen. Jake and Stephen fought often, neither really winning. But each time they met, Jake told Stephen that Zack, the man who Stephen served faithfully, was a lying, cheating bastard. Of course, I'm a headstrong bastard, so I ignored this.

We won of course…and then the next night, everything Jake had said came true. But Jake had left…and Ed too, these men whom Zack had wronged. And then, with Stephen having his heart ripped into pieces, things just naturally fell into place…We wanted to hurt Zack back. Now, we had to keep this secret, so we borrowed a couple of fairly hated knaves who were way too trusting, and well, things played out rather well don't you think…I guess you could say, we were just imitating Zack when we took their precious too…

TONY

Very interesting. Now, a lot of people were stunned when SpiderPoet and EL Dandy were kicked out of the Trinity. Many are saying it's because they got tired of doing your dirty-work and weren't thrilled with the way you were treating them.

STEPHEN

Ha, didn't I just talk about that. No, no, they were clueless the whole time. I never intended for them to be Trinity. Their heart isn't in it. What they had was the tag team titles, and an ability to float. I NEEDED that to get back at Zack, so the fact that I created the Infernales in the booking room back in November, and that they owed their push to ME, they owed the titles to MY influence…they were MY puppets. And like most puppets, Tony, they simply served their purpose and then were thusly discarded into the trash. So sad…so sad…

TONY

What's the deal with Jacob X and ED? Are they Trinity?

STEPHEN

100% pure and unadultered Trinity. We're the pure ones here…Think about it. Jacob was just striking out and becoming THE MAN for the aWo to turn too, and who took that away? Zack. Who took Jake's sister away? Zack. Who took Ed's woman away? Zack. Who took me out, nearly permanently? Zack. We are a trinity allright, a trinity of Zack and his wicked ways.

TONY

A few months ago, our very own Jesse "The Body" Ventura said, you're like the United States of America: Do things because you feel they're right, but people end up using it against you. When people actually look at the facts -- which many of the morons don't -- you're truly an American hero.

Why do you think you're hated, or should I say misunderstood?

STEPHEN

Even you felt that way Tony! Remember the 60-minute match we had? Why do people hate me…Oh you got it right. I'm the Kurt Freaking Angle of the OaOasT…I'm just more talented. Look at it. I started as NOTHING, NOTHING Tony. I started out jobbing to the Dungeon of Doom, and had to wrestle on the pre-show for the first few months in go nowhere feuds. But dammit, I kept plugging away. I got a title, and I made it mean something. I may not like Jay all that much, but he's a fighting champion like I was. I'll give him that. Now, because I was faithful to the OaOasT, and because the OaOasT kept taking off for higher and higher ground, peeps were needed to make it run. I stepped up to the plate, volunteered my services, and they were accepted…I mean, I've been producing IntenseZone since it began…I THOUGHT UP the show names and concepts. Along with you Tony, I MADE the PPV advertisements, we MADE the logos. We even tried to bring order…People didn't like our order Tony, the idea to logically push and book things. They wanted chaos. We even tried to listen to them, but you and I were new at this, and people used this against us…Instead of helping out, they whined, quit, and came back to whine again. They're what America is today, a bunch of sniveling, groveling, power-hungry bastards. They're not heroes Tony. Heroes are you and me, who despite the animosity, have the courage to stay fast with the vision, no matter the cost. Men before us, like Patrick Henry, like Martin Luther King., like John Kennedy. American heroes Tony, and what did America do to them. America can go to hell as far as I care. It has. And now we're saying "No more, no more, let us save you. Our truth hurts, but it is truth. Purity through pain.

TONY

Last month at School's Out, you clearly beat the living daylights out of OAOAST Champion Zack Malibu.

Crowd boos and starts chanting ZACK!

STEPHEN

Why do they cheer a man who cheats?

TONY

After you had beat him all over the ring, Zack show the worst act of sportsmanship I've ever seen -- being the sore-loser, man-whore, egomaniac that he is; he ATTACKS YOU with the OAOAST championship! Add to the fact he's more obsessed with the title than he is with his own, lovely girlfriend. Such a pity.

STEPHEN

What did I foretell. We, the Trinity, had as our goal to reveal Zack Malibu to the world for the kind of man he is. We did that because he's so false. And guess what? Zack hitting me with the Title only proves it. That kind of man is unworthy of even being called champion. He's obsessed with what the title brings him, not what he can bring to the title. I hope he's enjoyed his stay in dream-land. Sandman's gonna get ya…

TONY

That brings me to my next question. Tonight, you against Zack Malibu in a Casket match for the OAOAST title. You have never lost such a match, you gotta be foaming at the mouth as you know you're walking away with the gold. Tell me, you have his tombstone ready, don't ya?

STEPHEN

Ask Rando what happens when you tempt the Trinity. How's his neck by the way, didn't you hear how it was nearly broken in half? Ask Sonic Youth what it's like to be caught in the new Synchronicity. As far as I know, he's still seeing flashes of white. It's funny you said Tombstone Tony, because that's precisely what that move has become. A history lesson. What's often repeated? History. Last time I was in a casket match, I set that damn casket on fire, and Synchronized a hapless Angle-Plex through it. Tonight, I'll do the same thing, but this time, Zack Malibu will not get up. As far as I'm concerned, after tonight Zack Malibu will be a permanent denizen of hell. And maybe then Tony, maybe then Zack will be "saved"

TONY

Ahem. Thank you Stephen Joseph. Folks, that does it for this month's installment of TBS. But join us next month at "License to Pin" with a wrestling roundtable discussion with managers Jim Cornette and Teddy Long.

Till then, have a bad night. I'll see ya next time.

CUE: "Simply Ravishing"

The lights dim slowly, the Body Shop is disassembled, and Stephen and Tony leave to jeers. Roll TBS CREDITS

WRITTEN BY

Tony149 and Big Poppa Popick

GRAPHICS BY

LaParkaYourCar

PRODUCED & DIRECTED BY

Tony149

The Body Shop

©2003

OAOAST Entertainment

All Rights Reserved.

The lights go OFF.

"THE SHOWSTOPPER!"

CUE: "Kick Start my Heart" by Motley Crue. The thousands of fans in the arena rise to their feet simaltaneously (sp?) as purple lights flash and fade with the three opening chords. The main guitar kicks up, which is followed by the drum, causing gold lights to flash with every beat. Random clips of K-Money are shown, until gold and purple pyro explode! The singers voice echoes through the arena, but is being drowned out by the MIXED REACTION!~ from the crowd. Suddenly, out from behind the curtain steps K-Money. He quickly turns his back to the crowd and sticks out his left arm, which holds the NWA/UPW/Zero-One Jr. Heavyweight Title, then slowly sticks his right arm out, which holds the OAOAST X Title Belt! He quickly twirls around, showing the two belts off to the roaring and booing crowd, before cockily walking down to the ring, Josie following close behind him. Josie wears a purple shirt with a big black "X" in the middle. The back of the shirt reads "I Fuck the OAOAST X Champion" and a black and red school-girl skirt. K-Money wears his normal skater clothes, which consists of Black Label t-shirt, Emerica shoes, and Innes Pants (All GREAT companies, JSYK!). Money slowly climbs into the ring and looks around at the fans, who are now chanting "You Sold Out!" for some reason. Money looks at them like they have arms growing out of their heads before asking for a mic. He receives it-

COLE

What does he want?!

COACH

Shut up, I want to hear him...

COLE

Hear him or stare at Josie?

COACH

I can do both, stupid

K-MONEY

Ok, you people are WAY too stupid...how the hell did I sell out? How?! I was rich to begin with, you idiots! What the hell is the matter with you morons?!

-The fans now boo, and the "You sold out" chant turns to...-

CROWD

ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE!

-Money shrugs-

K-MONEY

Ok, that's better...but seriously, on to matters that...well...MATTER...

-Money looks around, then looks at the shrugging Josie-

K-MONEY

...and that's ME

-The fans boo. A "You suck" chant now starts, and Money just mouthes "You Suck" along with them-

K-MONEY

Right...the reason I came out here tonight is to say two things...One, is Fuck You People...

COLE

What an asshole...

COACH

Yeah...so?

-More boos, obviously-

K-MONEY

...and Two...Tonight is the Great Angle Bash, and for some odd Fucking reason, I am not on the card...Now, why is that? Could it be because there isn't enough time for one more match? No, there's plenty of time...Could it be that you people wouldn't appreciate a stellar match involving me?

-The fans cheer-

K-MONEY

...Well, that's obvious, but nobody really cares what any of you twits think...So...

-Money is cut off by the enormous boos-

K-MONEY

Oh shut up! You all know it's true..."Denial" isn't a river in Egypt, people!

COACH

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

COLE

I don't get it...

COACH

Oooof course you don't...

-The boos grow louder, and Money just shrugs it off-

K-MONEY

Whatever...anyway...what is the reason WHY I'm not on this show? I'll tell you...I have no DECENT competition! NONE! Who do I have? Zack Malibu? Anglesault?! I already beat Anglesault! I already beat Malibu! Who do I have? No-One! THAT, my incredibly dirty and inbred friends...

-The boos grow incredibly loud now-

COLE

What the hell kind of thing to say is that?!

COACH

Well, they ARE! He's only telling the truth!

K-MONEY

...is why I am issuing an open challenge...ANYBODY that wants a title shot can get it...

-the fans start chanting "MAL-I-BU! MAL-I-BU!"-

K-MONEY

Ok, let me be more specific...someone I haven't already beaten and embarassed...Well...I guess that leaves no-o...

-Before Money can finish talking, the lights suddenly shut off...

COLE

Who could this be?!

COACH

Settle down, don't shoot here, man...

CUE: "Voodoo Child" by Stevie Ray Vaughn

COLE

RAGDOLL! K-MONEY'S BROTHER!!

-The fans erupt as RAGDOLL! and Melanie step out from behind the curtain as the lights go back on. K-Money's face has a look of complete disbelief on it as Ragdoll and Melanie climb into the ring. Ragdoll takes a slow drag off of his cigarette before stepping into the ring. Money makes a cut motion with his hand as the music slowly fades out-

K-MONEY

Wait wait wait...what the hell is this? Ragdoll...man, c'mon...I was being serious...What do you want?

-Ragdoll slowly leans in the corner as he puffs on his cigarette. He raises his hand and makes a "ring the bell" motion with it

DING DING DING!

COLE

I guess Ragdoll accepted Money's open challenge!

COACH

STIP! We need a stip to this match!

-Ragdoll slowly pushes himself out of the corner and cracks his neck, still puffing on his cigarette-

K-MONEY

You're serious? You actually want to face me?

-Ragdoll smiles and nods-

K-MONEY

Heh...oh my god...you're serious...all right, but before we start, we need some sort of stip...

COACH

HA! Called it!

K-MONEY

Right...since I'm a fighting champion...we'll make this a double falls match. The first fall is a Hardcore fall, and the winner gets the NWA/UPW/Zero-One Jr. Heavyweight Title...the winner of the second fall, which is a...oh, I dunno...Ladder Match, gets the OAOAST X Title, all right?

-Ragdoll shrugs as Money nods and hands the belts to Josie. Money rolls his shoulders and does a "Your funeral" look to Ragdoll-

COLE

K-Money v. Ragdoll is underway!

COACH

THIS is gonna be good, Mike Mike...

-Ragdoll slowly hands the cigarette to Melanie, who proceeds to smoke it. Ragdoll and Money slowly circle each other before going into a collar and elbow tie-up. Money gets the upperhand, pushing Rags into the nearest corner. The ref quickly gets between the two, trying to seperate them. Money slowly backs off and smiles, patting Rags chest. Ragdoll smiles a sinister sneer as Money backs into the middle of the ring, wiping his mouth with his forearm. Ragdoll slowly moves in and fakes a collar-and-elbow, but instead drops down and chops the knee out of Money, causing the champion to fall to a knee. Ragdoll quickly gets up and circles Money...and COMES RUNNING TOWARD! Ragdoll's looking for the Devil Doll!-

COLE

DEVIL DOLL COMING UP!

-Money, having the move well scouted, quickly brings his hands up and swats the knee away before quickly rolling out of the ring into Josie's waiting arms. The fans erupt as Ragdoll paces in the middle of the ring, watching his brother the entire time-

COACH

The first fall was almost over before it even began, Cole!

COLE

That was INSANELY close...

-Money glares at Ragdoll before quickly standing and heading over towards the announce tables and Howard Finkel-

COLE

What's K-Money doing over here?

-Money quickly grabs Finkel by the suit collar and glares at him, right before picking him up, wrapping his arms around the announcers waist, and delivering a vicious overhead belly-to-belly Suplex onto the mats!-

COLE

WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!

COACH

FINKEL'S HARDCORE!

-the fans boos turn to cheers as Money picks up the chair and folds it. He slowly turns around, just in time to see Ragdoll on the top turnbuckle! Ragdoll leaps off...CRASH!! Ragdoll hits the mats with a hard thud, clutching his face. MONEY THREW THE CHAIR AT RAGDOLL! The fans groan as the replay is shown on the AngleTron. Money slowly stands over Ragdoll and looks down at him. "YOU Wanted this, Austin...NOT me...remember that", Money says as he picks his brother's lifeless body up. Money grabs Ragdoll's hand, and quickly whips him towards the big black barricade. However, Ragdoll leaps up onto it, turning quickly. Ragdoll waits a split second before leaping off and wrapping his legs around Money's head. Ragdoll quickly turns, sending Money flying onto the mats. Ragdoll slowly stands as the fans erupt-

COLE

Ragdoll got his second wind and he capitalized on it!

-Ragdoll slowly motions for Melanie to come over to him. She nods and does so, walking slowly past Josie. Melanie gives a bitchy smile towards Josie as she walks past. Ragdoll's eyes slowly move away from his brother, who is now clutching his neck, to Melanie, who hands Ragdoll his weapon of choice...

COACH

Singapore Cane time!

-Ragdoll slowly paces around Money, who is slowly getting to his feet. Ragdoll twirls the cane as he paces, his eyes locked on Money-

COLE

Ragdoll is like a caged lion, Coach...he's just waiting for Money to expose himself for attack...

COACH

Well, NOW is the perfect time! His back is turned!

-Money, now standing, slowly turns towards Ragdoll, who winds up...CRACK! The fans groan as Money slowly topples backward, the cane now broken because of his skull. Ragdoll softly throws the broken cane into the cheering crowd as he picks Money up and rolls him into the ring. Instead of following, Ragdoll reaches under the ring, pulling out a...-

COLE

Table! We got a table!

-Ragdoll slowly slides the table into the ring as he points to Money. The fans erupt as Ragdoll slowly picks up his brother, pushing him into the corner. Ragdoll measures Money....WHACK!-

CROWD

WHOOOOOO!!

-WHACK!-

CROWD

WHOOOOOOOOO!!!

-WHACK!!-

CROWD

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

-Ragdoll slowly backs off as Money crumbles to the bottom turnbuckle, cowering in fear. Ragdoll quickly picks up the table and...throws it to the outside, shaking his head and tapping it-

COACH

Ragdoll's got a better idea...

COLE

This can't be good for K-Money...

-Ragdoll slowly slides out of the ring and sets up the table before reaching into the ring and pulling out K-Money, who now has a massive gash on his forehead from the Cane shot. Ragdoll slowly sets Money onto the table as he points to Josie. Melanie nods and grabs Money's girlfriend by the arms, holding her back. Ragdoll gives her the thumbs up as he quickly climbs onto the apron and onto the top turnbuckle. The fans rise along with their cheers, seeing what this insane kid from Las Vegas will do next-

COLE

I don't like where this is going, Coach...

COACH

I do!

-Ragdoll slowly stands on the top turnbuckle and looks down at Money, who is still motionless. Ragdoll does the sign of the cross...before leaping off and DELIVERING A SHOOTING STAR PRESS! THE LAS VEGAS NIGHTMARE! The fans erupt - and Josie screams - as Ragdoll clutches his ribs, crawling back-first onto the damn-near-dead K-Money. The ref slides to the outside...

1!

2!!

3!!

RAGDOLL PINNED K-MONEY! The bell rings, signaling the end of the first fall. Lilian Garcia, who has since come out to replace Finkel stands and makes the announcement-

LILIAN

Ladies and Gentlemen...the winner of the first fall...at 10:36...and NEW...NWA/UPW/Zero-One Jr. Heavyweight Champion...RAGDOLL!!

-The fans erupt with half cheers, half boos as Ragdoll raises his fist in the air-

COACH

That....I...What?...

COLE

Ragdoll...is....insane!

COACH

Now, all he has to do is set up a ladder, climb it, and retrieve the X Title, and he's a double champion!

COLE

These two STILL have a ladder match to compete in! They are machines!

-A few minutes pass before both Ragdoll and Money begin to stir. Oddly enough, the first to stand is K-Money, who slowly slides into the ring. Ragdoll clutches his ribs as he stumbles into Melanie's arms. Josie, who is slowly recovering from the trauma, quickly reaches under the ring and pulls out a ladder. She slaps the mat, waking K-Money, and slides the ladder in. Money slowly gets to his feet, but stumbles backwards into the ropes. He shakes off the cobwebs and moves towards the ladder, picking it up and unfolds it. Ragdoll has now slid into the ring, a chair in hand. Melanie screams, warning Money, who quickly moves out of the way of the shot. Ragdoll misses the swing and twirls. He finally faces Money, the chair in front of his face and....WHAM!! Ragdoll flies back, clutching his forehead, courtesy of a Superkick into the chair-

COLE

K-Money is incredible! He recovered so quickly, and he is now in charge!

COACH

I think Ragdoll hurt himself with that Las Vegas Nightmare more than he did his brother...

-Ragdoll now joins Money in wearing the crimson mask. Ragdoll slowly pulls himself up in the corner as Money folds the ladder again, and runs towards Rags. CRASH! Money slams the ladder vertically into Ragdoll, and rests it there, before running towards the opposite turnbuckle.

K-MONEY

FUCK IT UP!

-This brings back a pleasant memory for the crowd, who cheer in anticipation for the Dr. Smooth's Secret Recipe. Money runs forward and leaps, driving his feet onto one of the steps. The force pushes the ladder into Ragdoll as Money moonsaults off. The fans erupt as the ladder falls over, which is followed shortly by Ragdoll, who lands face-first on the ladder. Money sees the opportunity, and quickly hops through the middle and top rope to the apron. Money grabs hold of the top rope and leaps up and over...CRASH!! SLINGSHOT LEGDROP ONTO RAGDOLL ONTO THE LADDER! Ragdoll writhes in pain as Money clutches his knee-

CROWD

HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!

COACH

HOLY SHIT! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!

COLE

My god...

-Money is the first to stand, so he is the first to pick up the ladder, once again unfolding it, and once again setting it under the title belt. Money slowly starts to climb as Ragdoll slowly stands, clutching his neck. Money is almost there, but Ragdoll is catching up on the other side. Money slowly reaches up, trying to grab the X Title, but he's too far. One more step, he thinks...but Ragdoll has other plans...WHAM! A Vicious punch causes Money to reel, but the blue chipper delivers a right hand of his own. The Hollywood Showstopper and the Las Vegas Nightmare volley right hands, jockeying for a clear advantage...which is what Money gets! He scores with three right hands, which cause Ragdoll to reel. Money looks up...he's right underneath! He reaches and grabs the ring holding the title, but so does Ragdoll! The Baker Brothers simaltaneously kick the ladder over, causing them both to dangle twenty feet above the ring!-

COLE

This does NOT look good!

-Both men are pushing at each other with their feet, but neither can get the clear advantage, until Ragdoll uses all of his upperbody strength and lifts his legs up, wrapping them around Money's head, trying to force him off-

COLE

Ragdoll has the advantage...we could have a New X Champion very soon!

-The pressure is to great for Money, who loses his grip. But on the way down, he grabs Ragdoll by the stomach, causing him to let go!.....CRASH!!!! THE FANS GROAN AS RAGDOLL CLUTCHES THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND ROLLS OUT OF THE RING, COURTESY OF A HUGE POWERBOMB FROM K-MONEY!!-

COLE

WHAT THE FUCK?!

COACH

HOLY SHIT, MIKE! K-MONEY JUST POWERBOMBED RAGDOLL TWENTY FEET!

COLE

RAGDOLL IS DEAD!

-Money slowly gets to his feet as he grabs the ladder again, setting it up underneath the title belt. Money slowly climbs, having all the time in the world...he's three steps away...two...one...K-Money grabs the belt and unhooks it! The bell rings, signaling the end of second fall and match!

LILIAN

Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the second fall, at 25:00 even....and STILL...OAOAST X Champion...K-MONEY!

-CUE: "Kickstart My Heart." Josie quickly climbs into the ring as paramedics come out to attend to Ragdoll. Money slowly climbs down the ladder and collapses in his girlfriend's arms. The fans erupt out of respect for K-Money, who just put on a hell of a match. K-Money and Josie slowly slide out of the ring, Money limping slowly up the rampway as Josie helps him-

COACH

...Wow...that match was incredible...

COLE

It certaintly was...Both men walked away with a title belt tonight, so both can be proud. But I think the major props go to Ragdoll...he would not quit...

-Meanwhile, the paramedics slowly help Ragdoll up as K-Money's music fades away. Ragdoll clutches the back of his head as the EMT's try to help towards the back, but he pushes them away. The fans rise to their feet and applaud as Melanie brings him the NWA/UPW/Zero-One Jr. Heavyweight Title and a cigarette. Ragdoll earned his standing ovation tonight. The screen fades to a promo for the next PPV, the final shot being Ragdoll limping slowly up the ramp-

[Chanel #99]

Tampa’s a hot place

And it’s about to get hotter

Mask versus Mask, NOW!

Masked Man and his foe,

Vince McMahon Mask, have fought lots.

Settle the score, NOW!

“Crazy Train” plays loud

The crowd could not be louder

Masked Man enters, NOW!

“There’s No Chance in Hell”

As Vince McMahon Mask struts his stuff

The crowd jeers him, NOW!

The men look angry

They want to see their own blood

Ref calls for bell, NOW!

They chain wrestle first,

Start feeling-out each other.

The crowd likes it, NOW!

They jockey for moves,

As Masked Man grabs a wristlock.

V.M.M. screams, NOW!

V.M.M. reverse,

An eye-poke and body slam.

He has control, NOW!

Vince taunts the mad crowd,

Shaking his ass and laughing.

The crowd jeers loud, NOW!

Masked Man, a surprise!

Roll-up gets a short two-count.

He’s on fire, NOW!

Swinging neckbreaker

Could V.M.M. be unmasked?

No, he kicks out, NOW!

Vince gets a low blow,

Struts around like he owns the place.

M.M. is hurt, NOW!

Headlock and a punch,

Masked Man reverses; knee lift.

Who’s running in, NOW!?

Stephanie McMahon-

Mask, that is, slaps Masked Man’s mouth!

What a bad bitch, NOW!

Vince laughs and smiles

Proud of his sexy “daughter”

They make hot love, NOW!

Masked Man is shaken,

Vince gives him a camel clutch

Crowd chants, “Masked Man,” NOW!

Masked Man fights out hard

Clothesline, clothesline, and suplex.

But wait, who’s out, NOW!?

Shane McMahon Mask runs

Top-rope elbow through table,

For no reason, NOW!

DDT, Cover.

But Vince McMahon Mask kicks out

Masked Man in charge, NOW!

No, wait, V.M.M.

Hits a standing savate kick

Masked Man slumps down, NOW!

Vince goes for Stink Mask

Rubber ass-jiggling fun

Mask and ass meet, NOW!

Vince enjoys the touch,

But Masked Man gets a low blow!

Advantage change, NOW!

But here comes Linda

McMahon Mask, that is; she stares

A hole in mask, NOW!

The stare pierces hard

Blinding Masked Man…almost death!

McMahons share kiss, NOW!

Masked Man is blinded

Vince going for Mac Stunner

This match will end, NOW!

But Masked Man flips out!

Vince falls on his ass and eats

A moonsault press, NOW!

“ONE TWO THREE” says ref

Crowd roars as the match is done.

Masked Man has won, NOW!

Masked Man goes to Vince

But Vince counters with Stunner!

What injustice, NOW!

Vince goes for Mask, but

He tastes a kip-up face kick!

Masked Man finish, NOW!

Don’t Take Off My Mask!

It hits with velocity.

The mask removed, NOW!

…

…

…

IT’S THE SUPERSTAR~!

Shocked and appalled are all.

He says “…the fuck?” NOW!

“I thought he’s Blacker Scorpion?”

Superstar just walks away.

A failed gimmick, NOW!

What a main event

“This was the match of the show.”

The crowd loves me, NOW!

[i worked hard on this]

[You will appreciate me]

[Vote this: “BEST MATCH”, NOW!]

/BPP OOC:: Yes I knew all along...Got you Alll!!!

[Chanel #99]

COLE

Next up we have one of the most brutal matches man could ever think up. A Glass Table Match! Neither The Dream Machines or Totally Endorsed will be the same after this.

COACH

I can't watch this Cole. This is just too much! (Covers his eyes)

COLE

Coach the match hasn't even started!

RING ANNOUNCER

This match is a GLASS TABLE MATCH!! The team who puts BOTH members of the other team through the glass tables will be declared the winner!

The arena goes dark.

CUE: I Ran

White lights strobe throughout the arena while spotlights shaped like the Pepsi, Gap and Ford logos sweep through the crowd. Insane boos rain down from the crowd as the stable of Totally Endorsed make their way on to the stage. Candie, Terry and Slacker hold up a banner with a big red X over Parka, Knight, and Eddy’s faces, and Calvin and Colvid bust through it like football players charging on to the field, sprinting down the aisle, patting the two small stacks of glass tables (about 8 total) into the ring and hitting the corners, fans going hoarse from booing so much. The rest of the group follows, applauding the team. The music fades and the crowd buzzes, awaiting the entrance of their opponents.

RING ANNOUNCER

Accompanied to the ring by their fellow Totally Endorsed members...at a combined weight of 422 pounds...Calvin and Colvid!!

COLE

This can't be good for the Dream Machines! Every member of Totally Endorsed is at ringside.

COACH

That entrance got me pumped up! It's like a pep rally!!

“Yo Tampa, it’s time to kick it West side with some California Love. 2Pac, RIP.”

COACH

OH MY GOD!! IT'S...IT'S...DOCTOR DRED!!!

COLE

Ummm.......it's Dr. Dre not Dred.

The crowd EXPLODES at the voice of Dr. Dre and keeps it up as the El Camino bounces onto the stage. Parka is at the wheel, Knight (with a bandage covering the cut on his forehead from HD) is riding shotgun, lightly bopping their heads to the beat. Eddy sits next to Dre, covering his ears to block out the loud music blasting from the PA.

DR. DRE:

California...knows how to party

California...knows how to party

In the citaaay of L.A.

In the citaaay of good ol' Watts

In the citaaay, the city of Compton

We keep it rockin! We keep it rockin!

Parka stops the car at the top of the ramp and the Dram Machines pile out, leaving Dre in the back who continues rapping.

DR. DRE:

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west

A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness

The track hits ya eardrum like a slug to ya chest

Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex

We in that sunshine state with a bomb ass hemp beat

The state where ya never find a dance floor empty

And pimps be on a mission for them greens

Lean mean money-makin-machines servin fiends

I been in the game for ten years makin rap tunes

Ever since honeys was wearin Sassoon

Now it's ’03 and they clock me and watch me

Diamonds shinin lookin like I robbed Liberace

It's all good, from Diego to tha Bay

Your city is tha bomb if your city makin pay

Throw up a finger if ya feel the same way

Dre puttin it down for

Californ-i-a

The crowd is rocking as the Machines hit the ring. Calvin and Colvid exit to talk strategy as the Machines hit the corners, flashbulbs popping.

DR. DRE:

Uh, yeah, uh, longbeach in tha house, uh yeah

Oaktown, Oakland definitely in tha house hahaha

Frisko, Frisko

Hey, you know LA is up in this

Pasadina, where you at

Yeah, Ingelwood, Ingelwood always up to no good

Even Hollywood tryin to get a piece baby

Sacramento, sacramento where ya at? Yeah

The entire crowd raises their arms in the air and raises the roof of the arena as Dre finishes the song.

DR. DRE:

Throw it up y'all, throw it up, throw it up

Let's show these fools how we do this on that west side

Cause you and I know its tha best side

Yeah, That's riight

West coast, west coast

Uh, California Love

California Love, love…love…love…love.

“PEACE, Tampa!!”

COACH

I've gotta get to the back and get an autograph!!

COLE

You've got a match to call....stay here!

The crowd cheers Dre as the Camino backs back off the stage. The ref assigned to the match explains the rules to the two teams as they stare each other down. Calvin shares some words with Parka, who shoves him. Calvin shoves back and Parka delivers a right hand as Knight and Colvid get into it.

*DING DING DING*

The pairs brawl in opposite corners. TE gets the advantage and sets their opponents up for a whip. Knight and Parka head for a collision, but they do a do-se-do and clothesline their opponents down. Colvid crawls out of the ring and Parka follows. In the ring, PK pounds on Calvin and sends him to the ropes. Calvin ducks a clothesline but PK knocks him down. He bounces off the ropes, jumping over Calvin and coming back into a hiptoss attempt but Knight blocks it and sweeps Calvin’s leg out from under him. Colvid and Parka fight on the floor with Parka ducking a punch and getting a belly to back suplex on Colvid. Parka goes for a whip, but Colvid reverses the momentum and sends Parka into the post as Calvin escapes a suplex and spears Knight in the back to take him down. Colvid tosses Parka back into the ring as Calvin picks Knight up by the hair. They whip the DM’s into the ropes and hit stereo back body drops and Colvid slides out of the ring, lifts up the apron, and tosses in a pair of chairs.

COLE

TE has chairs now!! It wasn't enough to have glass tables now we have to have chairs!?

COACH

Are you sure I can't go to the back? I really don't wanna see this much blood!

Calvin takes one, readies for a shot, and smacks Knight in the back while Colvid tosses the chair to Parka and dropkicks it into his face. Calvin puts a chair on both DMs faces and nods to Colvid, who lets Calvin pick him up for a back suplex, but instead Calvin drops him forward and Colvid drops a leg on both chairs. Calvin nods at Terry, who smirks before going to the stacks and picking up a table, some fans cheering and some booing. Before he can do anything, Parka jumps him, causing Calvin to drop the table to the mat. Knight fights off Colvid and joins his partner in pounding on Calvin. They whip him into the ropes and hit a double team spinebuster and Parka sets up the glass table. Parka puts his head between his legs and raises his arm, the crowd getting to its feet and readying the cameras. Parka picks him up for the Deep Sleep, but Colvid quickly comes over and low blows Parka, causing him to drop Calvin to the mat. The crowd boos at the interruption.

COLE

Whoa we almost had our first elimination! The crowd isn't happy about not getting to see it.

COACH (Covering his eyes)

Oh my God, oh my God...is it over??

COLE

There wasn't an elimination Coach.

Knight goes after Colvid and tosses him into the corner, pounding away on him. He picks up a chair and NAILS him with a huge chairshot. Another one and Colvid is busted open. Calvin takes the other chair and sneaks up with another shot to the back, crumpling Knight to the mat. Parka charges at Calvin and ducks a swing, but Slacker pulls down the top rope, sending Parka toppling to the floor. Terry and Slacker pound on Parka, the ref unable to do anything because of the no-DQ rules and send him into the steps. Terry powerslams him to the floor to take him out while Candie retrieves a glass table. She sets it up on the floor and Terry puts Parka on it, choking him with one hand while giving thumbs up to Calvin. Eddy tries to help Parka, but Candie just shoves him away and laughs. Calvin nods and gets his partner’s attention, pointing to the prone Parka. Calvin leans against the ropes and motions Colvid to come. The crowd gets to his feet again and Colvid charges at him. Calvin backdrops Colvid over the top and Colvid SENTONS ONTO PARKA THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE!!!!

COLE

OH MY GOD!!! Parka has been eliminated thanks to Totally Endorsed's strength in numbers!

COACH

He....the....glass everywhere........(faints)

The crowd groans a collective “oooooohhhhhhh” and breaks out a loud “Holy shit!” chant for that. Knight looks out at his partner and Colvid and looks in shock at the carnage. His blood begins to boil as he looks at Calvin and Knight spears him, firing off the right hands. Colvid reenters the ring and pulls Knight off, but he just punches Colvid down and goes back to Calvin. Colvid goes out and gets a garbage can from under the ring and smacks Knight in the back with it to finally get him off. Calvin superkicks him down and Colvid goes out to retrieve a piece of the broken table. He picks up a big one and slides it in, but Parka, back bloody and outfit torn up, grabs his foot to stop him and trips him to the floor. Calvin picks up the piece and goes to smash Knight, but he boots Calvin in the gut, causing him to drop it. Calvin backs up and charges, so Knight drop toe holds Calvin facefirst onto the glass, but it doesn’t break. Calvin weakly swings at Knight, who ducks the punch, goes behind Calvin and faceplants him onto the pane, which still won’t break. Knight sighs and picks it up, waits for Calvin to get up, which he does, spaghetti-legged a bit. Knight charges and SHATTERS the glass on Calvin’s head!!

COLE

Holy Sh*t! Parka's elimination has lit a fire under Knight! Knight is trying to mutilate Calvin's face!

COACH (Wakes up and sees what Knight did)

That.......blood.........I'm going to faint again.

COLE

Snap out of it!

Knight plays to the crowd a bit, pointing to the tables, but doesn’t see Colvid sneaking into the ring with a pipe in his hand until it’s too late and Colvid whaps him in the face with it, reopening the cut. Colvid chokes him with it until Parka reenters the ring and yanks Colvid off. Knight and Parka take the pipe and clothesline Colvid down, doing the same to a now bloody Calvin when he gets up. Knight goes to the ropes, but Candie and Terry grab his feet and trip him up, dragging him out to the floor to boos from the crowd. The three TE members kick away on Knight and Eddy once again tries to help, only to get shoved down by Slacker and laughed at again. Eddy walks back to the other corner, a little angrier this time. He breathes to calm himself down.

COLE

Eddy is desparately trying to help, but he keeps getting shoved down.

COACH

It's like the man holding him down!

COLE

No...it's nothing like that.

Meanwhile, Calvin picks up one of the small shards of glass and, while Colvid holds him, slashes Parka’s mask, cutting him open and tearing the mask. Calvin slaps him and takes hold of the mask, ripping the front off and exposing Parka’s face once again to huge boos due to the sentimental value Parka had with that mask.

COLE

My God!! TE is destroying the La Parka mask that Parka found!! Damn them!

COACH

Hey....is....did they cut his face........I......(faints again)

COLE (Pours water on Coach)

Wake up Coach! Hey Coach...Dr. Dre said you're invited to the after party!

COACH

I'm awake!!

Parka gets a fire in his eyes that has never been and sweeps his foot back, low blowing Colvid to get him off and clotheslining Calvin down. Parka becomes a casa en fuego, beating on Calvin and Colvid, taking both down with HUGE chairshots (with Colvid joining the bleeders) as the crowd goes bonkers. He takes off the tattered mask and tosses it to Eddy and sees the TE trio pounding on his partner. Parka charges towards the ropes, looking to go for a plancha as he dives over the top rope, causing the TEers to duck, but Parka changes direction and lands on the apron, waiting for them to come back up. When they do, he bounces off the second rope and hits an Asai moonsault, knocking all three to the floor, to a huge pop and another “Holy shit!” chant from the crowd.

COLE

Parka is running on pure adrenaline!! TE don't realize the monster they've awakened!

COACH

We have monsters now?? MOMMY!!!

He helps his partner up and whispers something into his ear before sliding back into the ring. Knight goes over and lifts up the apron, pulling out the table with Calvin’s name on it!! Knight slides it into the ring and Parka sets it up in the middle, waiting for Calvin to get to his feet. When he does, he stumbles around a bit and charges at them, but they both duck and Calvin goes off the opposite ropes. Parka catches him in a spinebuster position and turns to face the table. The crowd gets ready again, knowing what comes next. Knight bounces off the ropes and jumps up to HIT THE AWAKENING THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Another “ooohhhhh” from the crowd and a “Holy shit!” chant.

COLE

Calvin has been eliminated!! Everyone is bleeding! This is total carnage!

COACH (Now sucking his thumb)

I can make it......I can be strong.

COLE

Will you stop!? Do you know how many people are watching?

The DMs look at the prone Colvid and smirk at each other. They share a high five and Parka carefully disposes of the shattered table and sets up the fresh one while Knight goes out again. He lifts up the apron again and leans in, this time pulling out a LADDER!

COLE

Now we have ladders! This is totally out of control!

The crowd pops huge for that as Knight slides it back in and sets it up. Parka goes to climb the ladder while Knight gets Colvid and puts him on the table, making sure he doesn’t move. Parka slowly makes his way to the top as the crowd remains on their feet, intently waiting for what Parka is going to do now. Parka gets to the top and steadies himself, but Calvin manages to crawl over to the ladder and shove it over, sending Parka tumbling over the top and towards the TE members on the outside, which catch him and toss him into the post. Knight boots Calvin in the gut and starts the Knight Roll as Colvid still lies on the table. He hits the first suplex, hangs on, hits the second, still hangs on, and picks him up for the finish, but points him towards where he believes Colvid still lies, but unknown to him, since he wasn’t paying attention, Colvid had gotten off and moved the table out of the way. Knight hits the Falcon Arrow, but is a bit surprised to see Colvid appear with a chair to the gut. Colvid puts Knight’s head between his legs and picks him up for the Volume Spiker, driving his head into the mat. Colvid stirs his partner and slides out, lifting up the apron and pulling out a pair of GLASS LIGHTUBES!!! The more bloodthirsty side of the crowd cheers ferociously for that.

COLE

Holy Sh*t!! TE has just pulled out Light Tubes!!

Colvid brings them into the ring and gives one to a woozy Calvin. They taunt Eddy as they wait for Knight to get to his feet. Knight, blood soaking his face, gets to his feet and the crowd screams at him to watch out. Colvid and Calvin get ready to strike and rear back, but Knight ducks at the last minute and the team smashes the tubes in each other’s faces!! Knight uses the ropes to get back up and picks up Colvid, putting him on the table and slowly going to the top. Parka gets back into the ring and pounds on Colvid to keep him there. He notices Calvin getting to his feet and charges, but Calvin drop toe holds him into the ropes which crotches his partner on top. Terry hits Parka with a chair as Colvid stumbles off the table and follows Knight up, looking for a superplex, but Knight holds on to the ropes and blocks it. Colvid tries again, but Knight blocks again and forearms him in the gut. Knight tries to drop him on his face, but Colvid blocks that. Knight elbows him in the face to knock Colvid woozy and gets ready for a move. Candie sees this, and jumps into the ring, sliding the table away as Knight hooks Colvid’s head, turns around, and hits a TORNADO DDT OFF THE TOP ROPE, knocking them both out!!!!! Calvin and Parka are also laid out, so the crowd buzzes at what will happen next.

COLE

Everyone is out! Coach? Where'd you go?

COACH (Hiding under the table)

I'm down here! I'm waiting until the carnage stops.

That buzzing turns into a pop as CRYSTAL runs down and into the ring. She slides Knight to the middle of the ring and sets up the ladder in the corner. The crowd readies the cameras as she climbs, facing away from the ring. She pauses halfway up, looks back to check the distance, takes a deep breath and hops onto the next rung, and onto the rung after that, hitting the Daimond in the Rough on Knight!!!! She hooks the leg as the ref slides in.

1…..

2…..

3!!!! Crystal goes to the timekeeper and takes the 24/7 title, hopping over the barrier and leaving through the crowd, belt raised in the air.

COLE

I can't believe it! In the middle of all this chaos Crystal just won the 24/7 title!!

COACH

Crystal is here!? (Tries to get up, but smacks his head on the table) Ow!! Where's Crystal?

Candie and Terry decide to take matters into their own hands and slide into the ring, pounding on the DMs to huge boos. Eddy comes in to try and stop it and Candie shoves him away. Eddy tries again and Candie slaps him. A fire gets lit in Eddy’s eyes and he charges again, this time ducking another slap, bouncing off the ropes and SPEARING CANDIE to a HUGE pop.

COLE

Whoa!! Eddy finally did it!!

COACH (Still under the table)

Did what??

COLE

He speared Candie!

COACH

Lucky Bastard!

Eddy runs his mouth, but when he turns around, Terry grabs him by the throat. Eddy kicks him in the breadbasket and goes off the ropes, hitting ANOTHER SPEAR ON TERRY!!!! Slacker comes in, but Parka is up and pounds on him. The three TEers back to the ropes and Parka and Eddy clothesline them out. Parka looks in disbelief at Eddy and even makes exaggerated breathing motions to try and calm him down, but Eddy won’t have any of that and picks up a chair. He waits for Colvid to get up and CRACKS him in the head. In his rage, he goes for Knight, so Parka gets in his way and slaps him, snapping Eddy out of it. Panting and embarrassed, Eddy looks around and slides out of the ring, going back to his cheerleading role.

COLE

Eddy was in a rage! He didn't even know what he was doing!

Parka decides to take advantage of the situation and gets his partner to his feet. Parka gets Colvid and puts him on the table. The DMs both drag a finger across their throats as to say “It’s over” and the fans respond. Knight goes to get Calvin, but he had reached into his tights and gotten some powder, which he throws into Knight’s face. Parka comes over, but Calvin punches him in the throat and Colvid hits him with a superkick.

COLE

The Machines almost got the upper hand, but Calvin threw powder in Knight's face!

COACH (Under the table)

Well that sucks.

Calvin puts Knight on the table as Colvid goes to the top, looking for the Colvid Crunch. Calvin holds Knight down, but doesn’t see Eddy reach into his pocket and toss a bottle of mace to Knight. Knight catches it and sprays it in Calvin’s face to get him off and quickly stumbles to the corner to crotch Colvid. He puts Colvid on his shoulders and Parka goes to the top. He leaps off and hurricanranas Colvid off Knight’s shoulders!!!!

COLE

Dream Catcher!!!

COACH (from under the table)

That's cool.

The fans go rabid as Knight sets up the table and puts Colvid on again. Calvin, redeyed and nearly blind from the mace, climbs to the top. He goes for a crossbody, but Knight catches him. He smiles and nods and puts Calvin on his shoulders!! The crowd roars in approval and get the cameras ready as Knight takes some deep breaths. He turns Calvin and KNIGHTMARES CALVIN ONTO COLVID THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!

*DING DING DING*

COLE

Dream Machines did it!!! They won!

COACH (pops up from under the table)

It's over? Yeah what an awesome match!

YOUR WINNERS: THE DREAM MACHINES

California Love plays over the loud speakers and crowd gives them a standing ovation as all three hug and raise their hands before exiting the ring. Candie, Terry and Slacker slide into the ring to check on their stablemates while the DMs play to the crowd all the way back to the Camino. Parka gets in the drivers seat and starts it up while Knight and Eddy take their seats. Parka makes the car bounce extra high in celebration (Eddy almost getting tossed into the crowd) before backing it off the stage and through the curtain.

COLE

The Dream Machines survive a blood bath and finally defeat Totally Endorsed!

COACH

This has to be my new favorite match!

COLE

But you.......aw nevermind.

[Chanel #99]

Cue: Hell’s Bells

*DONG*

*DONG*

*DONG*

The familiar guitar strains of the AC/DC song hit the speakers, and the crowd POPS for El Dandy~! Dandy emerges from the back, wearing the zebra stripes and his regular tights. Clearly ready to officiate, but clearly ready for action. He makes his way down the ramp.

Ring Announcer: Approaching the ring now, serving as special GUEST REFEREE for this match, which WILL DECIDE the OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS . . . EL DANDY~!.

The crowd pops huge as Dandy slides into the ring. He stands and turns to the ramp as his music dies out, watching and waiting.

Cue: “I’m Only Shooting Love”

The music signals the arrival of Ed, who comes down the ramp with a scowl on his face, the two Tag Titles slung over his shoulders. He looks angry, focused, determined. He stops at the middle of the ramp with Stephen Joseph in tow, who the steps in front of him and faces him and “preaches” to him with strong words. He looks like a drill sergeant trying to pump up a pupil, only this sergeant is deadly and his pupil is out to destroy in the name of righteous indignation over the perceived wrongs done to him. Joseph, satisfied, steps away and allows Edward to continue on down to the ring, looking more focused than before, somehow. Tonight the Trinity is aiming to dominate, and this match is a huge advantage in that war.

RING ANNOUNCER

Making his way to the ring, defending the OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS on behalf of THE TRINITY, EDWARD ROBINSON!

Edward hits the ring and poses, holding the two belts up in the air, taking in the thousands and their collective hatred of him, as if he intends to capture it and use it to fuel him. Finally, he lets his arms fall to his side, stands in the middle of the ring, and faces the entrance ramp intently.

The lights go out.

Cue: “In Vain” by Mad at Gravity

A guitar’s yearning sounds, distorted, echo through the arena, and soon the bass and drums begin. The AngleTron lights up with a pair of boots, walking towards the camera in time with the beat, the image jumping and distorting to match it. The music escalates and the view moves up the body, revealing the costume and eventually the masked head of SpiderPoet.

Lines (It’s cold outside)

Will go unbroken (Close the door)

Thoughts (Once complete)

Will fade away (Nevermore)

RING ANNOUNCER

Making his way to the ring, one half of LOS . . . INFERNALES: SPIDERPOET!

Spidey emerges from the back to a huge pop and makes his way towards the ring, looking just as focused and determined as Edward. He pauses and looks at the bundles of barbed wire waiting on spools along the aisle, and the ominous Cell suspended above the ring. He regards it all, and knows the danger he’s walking into full well. He knows that this could go many ways over the next three matches, and he knows that there’s always the possibility of taking one hit too many and ending everything. All this he considers in a moment before jumping to the apron and walking to the ring post and climbing, throwing an arm up to the roar of the crowd as the chorus hits.

I’m reaching to find

the words to define

the meaning entwined

in every aching line

In vain

Poet looks at Ed and hops to the top of the turnbuckle. The two regard one another across the ring intently, and a crackle of energy can almost be felt between them. A hush falls over the audience as they stare and the music dies out. The lights come up and - he’s going for a move! Poet leaps - HURRICANRANA! HURRICANRANA TO START THINGS OFF!

*DING DING*!

Ed is slung across the ring, unprepared for the ‘rana. Spidey is on his feet quickly and he runs the ropes as Ed tries to get to his feet. Poet drops and slides in for a dropkick as Ed is on his hands and knees, and Ed is sent spinning over. This time he’s quicker on the recovery, and Spidey’s attempt to haul him up is blocked with several shots to the midsection. Poet stumbles back and it’s all Ed needs to launch up into a tackle. Poet absorbs the shock and somehow keeps his footing, but Ed siezes the opportunity he has. His arms already around SP, he locks his hands together and lifts up -FLAPJACK!

Poet hits hard, and nurses his masked face even as he bounces up from the impact and contorts himself in mid-air to roll away. Poet slings himself over to his back as Ed lunges at him, but Poet throws his feet up and Ed lands. Ed is irate as he lies, leaning forward, suspended above Poet as Poet holds him up with his legs. After a brief moment, Poet clocks him with a right hook and pushes him off. Ed, though dazed, lands on his feet and stumbles backwards. Poet kips up to a pop from the crowd and is on the attack again. He charges Ed, but Ed dodges and snags him, and RUNS HIM INTO THE CORNER! Spidey unwillingly shouldertackles the turnbuckle hard, but goes limp on the way in to try and absorb the impact.

Ed moves on him, and Poet sees. He grabs the top ropes right where they connect at the turnbuckle and, with his rear to Ed, kicks his back legs up. He snags Ed’s neck between his ankles and pushes back off the ropes, dropping low, and rolling on his shoulder - HURRICANRA TO THE TURNBUCKLE! Ed lands upside down in the corner, perfectly in the tree of woe!

JR

This one’s getting off to a high impact start!

JESSE

I haven’t seen Poet wrestle like this since he first got here.

JR

Bah Gawd, they have harassed him, beaten him, and taken his woman! That boy’s got a fire under his ass now!

Poet lands on his back, feet in the air, right in front of the turnbuckle. Ed gets his eyes open just in time to see Poet kick his feet out to kick him in the stomach. It’s a hard kick, and it jolts the entangled Edward. SP gets to his feet and runs to the opposite corner. He charges out towards Ed, but Ed scouts it and PULLS HIMSELF UP! He had his feet locked between the top and middle ropes and just sat up! Poet was already in motion, going for a dropkick. Instead, his crotch meets steel and he cries out.

JR

Ed must have quite the six-pack.

JESSE

I wish I had a whole keg.

Ed seizes the opportunity and gets his balance, standing on the top rope. With a quick look back, he simply jumps backwards - AND PLANTS BOTH FEET IN POET’S CHEST!

Ed bounces back off of Poet’s chest and lands on his feet perfectly. Poet is doing a half-sit-up on his own from the pain racing through his ribs. Ed quickly moves in, stomping away on SP’s chest. Harsh boots to the ribs he just landed on, not allowing his opponent the opportunity to get away. Finally, after a horrific pounding, he reaches down and hauls SP to his feet. He pushes the Poet back into the corner and rears back - CHOP~! Poet falters from the chop, but Ed quickly pushes his chin up and delivers another - CHOP~! Edward whips Poet to the opposite corner and quickly follows - POET LEAPS TO THE TURNBUCKLE - MOONSAULT - HOOKS THE LEG! DANDY SLIDES IN FOR THE COUNT!

1

2

ED KICKS OUT! Poet doesn’t have the energy to immediately get to his feet, instead automatically clutching his ribs again from the impact of the moonsault, hunched down on all fours, save for the arm clutching his torso. Ed gets to his feet, frustration etched in his features. He rears back and kicks Poet in the ribs again! And again! Spidey tries to roll with the force of the kick and goes over onto his back. Ed kneels beside Poet and cradles his head, pulling him up slightly. WHAM! He punches SP in the face!

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

After several vicious shots, Edward hauls SP up to his knees. He then draws back and SLAMS Spidey with a hard forearm across the back of the neck. Satisifed that Poet is subdued, Ed picks him up and whips him to the corner. Ed runs to the opposite corner and CHARGES towards Poet! But Poet hauls himself up to the top and leaps - MISSILE DROPKICK TO ED! BOTH men flail to the mat, Poet again nursing his ribs, and Ed curling up as he thuds to the mat to nurse his own upper body. Dandy quickly checks on both of them and begins to take advantage of his count.

1!

2!

3!

4! Poet stirs, and begins to get to his knees.

5!

6! Edward is on his knees, and the two eye one another!

Poet lunges first, and delivers a forearm to the back of Edward’s neck. After a second one, he hauls Ed up, but keeps him doubled over. Spidey yanks him in and hooks him up - SUPLEX! Poet keeps it hooked and hauls Ed up again for ANOTHER SUPLEX! He keps it and rolls up for another but Ed BLOCKS! Spidey tries again but it’s blocked again and this time Ed acts quickly. He fights his way out and staggers Poet backwards. He moves forward before Poet can regain his footing and lays into him with two stiff right hands before whipping Spidey off to the ropes. Ed rebounds back off the ropes behind him and charges at Poet, but Poet leaps for the DROPKICK - and ED PUTS ON THE BRAKES! Poet falls flat on his back, and Ed is there, snatching his legs up and twisting for a BOSTON CRAB! He rolls Poet on over and hauls it back, sinching it up tight. The pressure is clearly taking a toll on Poet’s already busted up upper body, and it can be seen as he reaches out his hands, flexing his fingers in agony but refusing to tap!

JR

That son of a - he knows Poet’s had bad wheels ever since AngleMania!

JESSE

Rock it back, Ed! Destroy those legs!

Dandy keeps asking and Poet keeps denying, and Edward just keeps hauling it back more, rocking back and forth with the hold. Finally, Poet plants his hands and pushes himself up off the mat, and tries to crawl to the ropes. He only gets a few inches when Ed rocks it back harder and Spidey is forced to halt, screaming out in pain. Again, he tries to get to the ropes, and again Edward denies him. After several long moments of trying to force Poet to tap, Edward finally releases the hold. Spidey’s legs flop down, aching and exhausted. Before he can do anything, Edward is all over him, hurling thunderous kicks to his ribs and back. Again and again and again until Dandy has had enough and tells him to knock it off. Edward stops and turns slowly to the referee and the two stare each other down for a moment.

Whether Ed wanted to take Dandy down or not, we don’t know, but he does turn his attention back to Poet with one more stomp, aimed at Spidey’s kidney. He then steps around and grabs Poet’s legs to hook in the Crab again. SPIDEY WIGGLES A LEG FREE! He pushes himself over on his back as Ed tries to grab his leg again, but Ed gets nothing as Poet KICKS HIM IN THE FACE! Edward is intent on the hold, though, and doesn’t let go of the leg he’s got. He moves in again, but SP kicks him right under the chin again, and this time a spurt of blood flies out of Ed’s mouth! He’s dazed, and Spidey takes advantage, locking his legs around Edward’s waist and twisting - SCISSORS TAKEDOWN!

JR

THE POWER OF THE POET!

JESSE

Oh please! Rush of adrenaline, if that!

Poet, nursing his ribs, hauls himself to his feet with the aid of the ropes. He assesses the situation and sees that Ed is laid out in front of the corner. Poet wearily stomps his way over and the crowd’s volume rises with every step. He looks to the top turnbuckle and grasps the top rope on both sides with his hands and begins to haul himself up. He reaches the top and signals for the -

JR

SPIDAHSAULT! THIS IS IT!

Poet backflips perfectly, gaining quite a bit of air, and comes down - RIGHT ON ED’S RAISED KNEES!

JR

NOO!

JESSE

HA! He had him scouted! THAT is the sign of a TRUE Champion!

Spidey rebounds off, clutching his ribs and screaming in agony. He lands face down, but automatically lifts his mid-section off the ground, cradling it, kicking his feet against the mat. Edward gets to his feet and runs at SP - SLIDING DROPKICK TO SP’S FACE! Poet’s head whips around and he falls limply to the mat. Edward is all over it, rolling Poet over for the pin. Dandy has no choice but to count!

1!

2!

2.9999! POET THROWS AN ARM UP!

JR

BAH GAWD WHERE DID HE PULL THAT FROM?!

JESSE

NO! DANDY COUNTED TOO SLOW!

Ed, disbelieving, bears back down on poet again!

1

2

SP KICKS OUT! The crowd is going NUTS! Flustered, Ed wipes the blood draining across his chin from his mouth away and proceeds to haul SP up. He gets Spidey to his knees and SLAMS him with another forearm. He jerks Poet up to his feet and hauls back and punches Poet right in the jaw. ANOTHER PUNCH! AND ANOTHER! AND ANO- POET BLOCKS! POET FIRES BACK! ED FIRES BACK! POET! ED! BRAWL~! The two exchange stiff punches in the center of the ring before Ed finally blocks and WHIPS Poet to the ropes with AUTHORITY! Poet on the rebound - DROPS! SLIDES BETWEEN ED’S LEGS!

Ed doesn’t turn to be punched, instead he bolts to the ropes himself. He erbounds off of them and comes back -

ED LEAPS FOR A FLYING FOREARM!

SP CATCHES HIM!

THROWS HIM UP IN A PRESS!

~!

JR

TILDEBANG! TILDEBANG! TILDEBANG! ~!~!~! POET CRAWLS OVER FOR THE COVER!

Dandy is on it!

1!

2!

3!

The ring crew immediately springs into work as a breathless SpiderPoet and a severely stunned Edward lie motionless in the ring. The second fall hasn’t started yet, awaiting the instruction of El Dandy as if it were a living creature. But matches are, aren’t they? They take on a life of their own sometimes, even in death.

Barbed wire is unspooled as the ropes are taken down, the ring left as an open area. SpiderPoet rolls to his belly, still cradling his ribs. The TildeBANG~! Visibly took a lot out of him, and the pin was most likely made on adrenaline alone. He rocks back on his knees to see better, and through his mask his eyes lock with Ed’s, which have just fluttered open. Ed’s head lulls to one side and the two stare at each other as the ring is transformed all around them. Barbed wire is strung up and cris-crossed into huge X shapes between ringposts, with seven more lines of wire strung up behind them for reinforcement. Though not spoken aloud, the giant spools of barbed wire outside the ring could conceivably be used somehow. The only rule? Win. Inside the ring.

Both men turn this information over in their minds as they eye one another, and both know what’s coming. Both know that the ‘wrestling’ portion of this exhibition is over, and that vengeance is about to be waged. Vengeance for a best friend wronged, vengeance for a lover taken. But vengenace, no matter the cause, is a harsh and cold thing. Often bloody, and almost always brutal in some fashion. Whether emotional or physical. Someone pays. And someone pays dearly.

The ring crew, satisfied with their job, back away and retreat up the ramp. El Dandy glances at the two competitors as Ed and Poet find their footing and stare at one another. He takes a step back and looks outside to the timekeeper.

*DING DING*

Let vengeance begin.

Poet and Ed circle one another. The game has changed, the rules are different, and the setting is lethal. Poet is the first to strike, but Ed matches, and we return to the wrestling standard of the lockup. Ed gains the advantage and tries to whip Poet to the wire, but Poet reverses. ED reverses, however, but Poet manages to put the brakes on before crashing into the spiny, sharp wire. He whirls around, perhaps hoping that Ed would have stupidly charged, but Ed stayed where he was.

Circle again, Poet favoring his ribs and Edward again wiping a line of blood from his chin as they walk. Again, Poet lunges first, and again they lock up. Struggle for power, and this time Poet gains the advantage with a well-placed knee to Ed’s gut. Ed falters and Poet hooks him up for a suplex to the barbed wire, but Ed blocks. Poet tries to haul him up again, but Ed reverses in mid-air, twists, and lands behind Poet. Poet thinks fast and throws his arm around Ed’s head, and makes for the barbed wire, trying for the bulldog, but ED PUSHES POET FORWARD AT THE LAST SECOND!

A camera is close enough to record the prolonged grunt as the barbed wire rips at Poet’s costume and flesh as he’s sent tumbling over it to the outside. It sags, but holds. SP is on all fours, trying to take count of all the scratches and tears in his costume while nursing his troubled torso. In the ring, Ed backs up as far as he can and sprints before vaulting over the barbed wire. Poet had gotten to his knees, and looked up just as Ed came crashing down on top of him. Poet goes limp and rolls with it to the barricade, where he uses the momentum to roll on to straddle Ed. Bewildered at his sudden detrimental position, Ed has no defense as Poet lets a hard right fist fly. It smacks into the side of Robins’ head, and is followed by a left fist doing the same.

SP plunges his right hand down and holds Ed by the throat as he punches him twice more with his left fist. The final time, a sick *POP* can be heard, and a small splattering of blood flies from Edward’s nose, along with a groan from Edward’s throat. Whether his senses suddenly return or the sight of his own blood suddenly fuels him, we simply do not know. But Edward swings his own right fist around and clocks Poet in the side of the head. It stuns the costumed man, but Poet draws back to continue his own assault. Ed heads him off by popping him again, forcing Poet to stagger to his feet.

Ed is quick to act, sneering as he spears his feet out, wrapping them around Poet’s waist. Ed twists, much like how Poet did in the first match, and in a scissors-like maneuver, forces SP over and down against the side of the ring. Poet’s chin lands right on the edge of the ring itself, and his head snaps back as he’s clearly stunned. He sits on his knees, swaying back and forth as if trying to gather his wits. Ed is on his feet and at Poet’s side quickly, wiping the mass of blood running from his nose away with a *SLURP* kind of sound that causes some of the viewers at home to cringe in disgust.

Ed grabs Poet by the head and yanks it back so Poet is looking up at him. Ed says something garbled, but the camera can pick up the word, “Widow,” in there somewhere. He than pulls Poet’s head back and then FRAM’S it into the edge of the ring again! Ed pushes Poet over, who slumps to the ground lazily. He looks over to the spools of barbed wire sitting by the entrance ramp and a smile slowly creeps across his bloodied face. He makes his way over there and begins inspecting the spools as Poet begins to stir at ringside. Ed moves around behind the huge spool and grabs it’s round, flat edges. He pushes it, and it begins a slow roll towards the ring. So intent on this is he that he doesn’t notice that Poet has regained his bearings, ripped costume and bloodied chest and all, and is haphazardly perched at the top of a nearby ringpost. He is forced to take this into account, however, when he looks up just in time to see Poet flying through the air with a FLYING CROSS BODY! SP CRASHES into Ed, sending them both tumbling back onto the hard, metal ramp. They both stagger to their feet similarly, and Ed comes at Poet with a punch. Poet blocks and returns one of his own, which lands, but Ed doesn’t seem fazed. He instead answers with a right hand of his own, and the two begin to brawl, heading up the ramp towards the stage.

Finally, Poet blocks a punch attempt and darts around behind Ed. He locks his arms around his waist, looking for a German, but Ed blocks it and elbows his way out. Ed whirls around to see Poet going for a standing dropkick, but Ed steps back to avoid, and instead catches Poet’s legs in mid-air. Poet has no choice but to continue his fall, winding up in an upside down position as Ed holds his legs. Ed hauls back and hoists SP up to a sitting position on his shoulders. Sensing what’s coming, Poet tries to fight his way out, but Ed quickly hops back and falls flat on his behind, POWERBOMBING SPIDERPOET ONTO THE STEEL RAMP!

JR

THAT IS UN-FOR-GIVING STEEL! POET CAN’T CONTINUE AFTER THAT!

JESSE

Get him in the ring, Ed! Pin his sorry carcass!

If he somehow heard him, Ed ignores Jesse’s advice and shrugs Poet’s legs away from his shoulders before rolling to his knees and getting to his feet. He looks at Poet, who lies with his back arched, his mind trying to process which is more important: his hurt back or his hurt ribs? Edward then looks back towards the spool of barbed wire at the end of the ramp and at the ring beyond, and begins moving back that way.

JR

That cheap sonofa – if he wins this thing by forcing Dandy into a countout, I’m gonna -

JESSE

What? You’ll sit here and cry into your barbecue sauce? He can’t. It has to be pinfall, in the ring.

Edward stops at the spool of barbed wire as, up the ramp, El Dandy kneels by his partner. An almost imperceptible nod from Poet is enough for Dandy, who stands and backs away. Down the ramp, Ed tugs on the loose strand of barbed wire and tugs, trying to unravel it. Back up the ramp, Poet is on his hands and knees, his mask above his nose, gasping for air. After several long moments of Edward slowly pulling a line of wire free of the spool, and Poet trying to get to his feet, Spidey is standing. He begins making his way down to Ed, and breaks intoa limping sprint for the last third of the way. Ed sees him approaching though, and ducks out of Poet’s initial CLOTHESLINE attempts. He whirls around just as Poet does, and throws his leg up to boot Spidey in the gut. Poet doubles over and Edward pulls him in to try for a Suplex, but Poet blocks, reverses, and tries to haul Ed up for a Suplex of his own! Halfway up and over, though, Ed reverses and lands right behind SP, quickly locking his arms around his waist.

Ed moves quickly - RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!

POET LANDS ON TOP OF THE BARBED WIRE SPOOL! HIS BACK ARCHED, SPRAWLED OVER THE WIRE, HE IS MOTIONLESS as he SCREAMS!

JR

IN ALL MY YEARS I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS!

JESSE

Good L - that kid’s got to be dead!

Ed pulls himself to his feet using the barricade for support, and looks at Poet. At first his face is expressionless, but slowly a sadistic grin spreads over it. Edward walks around the spool, where Poet is twitching slightly, and goes up the steps to the ring. He looks from Poet to the audience and back before throwing his hair back from his face and leaping - LEGDROP TO POET! FROM THE RING APRON TO THE BARBED WIRE SPOOL!

JR

DAMN HIM!

JESSE

“ . . . “

Poet flips off of the spool from the legdrop and lands face-first. His back is ripped to shreds, both in costume and in flesh. Through the torn fabric of his costume, blood pours from deep cuts where the prongs in the wire not only deeply penetrated his skin, but tore from that deep level as he tore away from the spool when he was dropkicked. Ed lies a few feet away, having taken great care to hit Poet with his leg and move away to avoid the spool. Edward rolls over to his hands and knees, and blood pours from his nose before he looks up, pooling lightly on the protective mat outside the ring. He sees the blood running down the sides of Poet’s back and takes it in for a moment before pushing himself on up to his feet.

Edward reaches down and picks Poet’s more or less limp form up from the ground and drags him around to the side of the ring where Poet originally tumbled over the wire to the outside. The side where the wire is weak. He hoists Poet up above his head in a press and HURLS SP INTO THE BARBED WIRE “ROPES”! Poet crashes into them and they snap and break at the ends under the pressure, snaking out and around him as he continues on into the mat. Droplets of blood get on Edward and the ring mat as the barbed wire rips and tears at SP’s flesh as he collides with it. And then SP lies in the ring, save for the random - but frequent- spasm, crumpled, tangled amidst quite a bit of barbed wire. Edward surveys his work for a moment before carefully climbing into the ring. He stands above SP and sneers at El Dandy, who regards his fallen partner with worry in his eyes. Edward reaches down and begins pulling the barbed wire away from SP, seeming to take joy in every small *pop* as prongs pop free of Poet’s body. After a moment or two of this, Edward drags Poet away from the barbed wire and pulls him to his feet. With a wicked smile of bloodied teeth and lips, Ed boots SP in the stomach and delivers an EVENFLOW DDT~!

Poet is planted, and he rolls over easily as Ed pushes him. Ed looks at Dandy and smugly signals before draping an arm over SP. Dandy has no choice . . .

1!

2!

3!

JR

My God, Jesse, SpiderPoet looks to be very, very hurt.

Jesse

It doesn’t seem like a lot has happened, but the things that have would take their toll on anyone.

JR

Nobody’s pulling their punches here, folks.

The arena lights dim significantly, and the stage lights flash in colorful sequence to signify the transition to the final part of this match: Hell in the Cell. Edward stands in the ring as Dandy kneels beside Poet, Edward with his arms outstretched as he looks up at the descending Cell, Dandy talking to Poet who is indeed nodding at his words. The camera angle is from the stands, facing the side of the ring, as is standard for most wrestling shows. It’s zoomed in on Ed, though, and it’s a disturbing image to see his grinning, bloodied face as the cell begins to descend over the frame.

El Dandy stands as the Cell sets down securely, and he catches Edward’s attention with a light shove to the shoulder to break him from his maniacal thoughts. Ed sneers at him, but Dandy is undaunted. Dandy tells him the things that he needs to know for the match, a measure every ref that comes after him has to go through who has the displeasure of working inside the “INTENSEZONE” Cell.

JR

I’d hate to be in El Dandy’s shoes right now. Earlier, we all received word that an IntenseZone sponsored Cell match has the added stipulation that Warzone Rules are in effect. And as we learned a while back with SpiderPoet, that means that contracts stipulate that no matter how badly injured - or worse - a man becomes, not a soul is liable for it except for himself. This is truly the epitome of . . . anything goes.

JESSE

Judging by what we’ve seen so far, once Spidey gets his second wind, things aren’t going to get pretty.

JR

You know, Jesse, part of he hopes that Poet never gets that second wind. The Tag Team Titles are one hell of an incentive, but if this drags on much longer . . .

JESSE

You’re right, Ross. Exhaustion is never a good thing in the ring. If your body, your strength fail you, nobody’s safe.

Dandy finishes explaining the Warzone Rules implications for the Cell to Ed, whose grin somehow widens with every ounce of knowledge passed on.

JR

Look at ‘im. He’s loving every minute of this.

JESSE

He’s just looking forward to the task at hand. Like a preacher converting someone. The Trinity is, after all, all about purity through pain. Poet’s going to be very . . . very pure when this is over.

Dandy steps away and signals the time keeper.

*DING DING*

We’re on. Edward reaches down and begins to haul SpiderPoet to his feet. Ed pushes Poet back, non-chalantly, and Poet just topples over, dangerously close to the pile of bloody barbed wire that was once serving as the ring ropes. Ed chuckles and limps over to Poet, and raises him to his feet again.

And again pushes him over. Clearly amused, Edward takes a moment to toss off a smug, bloodied grin to El Dandy before playing to the crowd, which is chanting for SpiderPoet’s recovery. Ed raises a fist to his own eye and moves it back and forth in a, “Boo-Hoo” motion, which draws boos from the less committed. But most of the audience ignores him and continues chanting for their fallen hero. Ed shakes his head in disgust, no doubt counting a cheer for Poet as a cheer for Zack Malibu. He turns back to Spidey and again goes to haul him up - BUT POET WAS READY!

Poet whips a fist around and punches Edward in the side of the head. Edward stumbles back and Poet goes on the offensive. A flurry of un-wrestling-like punches force Edward back . . . back . . . SPIDAHKICK! ED GOES FLYING BACK INTO THE OPPOSITE BARBED WIRE ROPES AND ON DOWN BETWEEN THE CELL WALL AND THE RING TO THE FLOOR!

JR

I’ve never seen anyone move like that!

JESSE

I have, Ross. On heldDOWN. On the rooftop of the arena.

JR

You watch the competition?

JESSE

For this epic? I TIVO that joint.

Poet stands, leaning to the side to favor his ribs and leg. His costume is torn, tattered, bloodied, but still he stands. He sits on the edge of the ring and slides down to the floor beside Ed, who is writing as hundreds of barbs are embedded into his skin. Poet carefully picks him up and ROLLS HIM into the ring, causing Ed to become even more tangled up in the barbed wire, and countless more barbs to dig into him.

JR

Every move you make can hurt like hell when there’s barbed wire all over you.

Poet crawls back into the ring now as Dandy checks on Edward. Dandy looks up to see Poet standing in the middle of the ring, and for the briefest of moments a smile plays across his face. He hides it quickly, though, and returns to officiating. Poet moves to Edward and goes to pick him up, but Edward whips a fist around - a fist wrapped in barbed wire. It connects with Poet’s cheek, and the sound of both flesh and fabric ripping can be heard as Poet’s head snaps around and he falls to one knee. When he looks back up, we see that the left side of his mask is torn, his cheek sports several small gashes, but the blood welling up makes it look like one big one. Poet staggers to his feet and backs off of Ed for a moment. He turns and looks at the AngleTron and sees his shredded cheek.

So caught up is he that he doesn’t notice Edward stirring behind him, ripping the barbed wire from him, ignoring the more gory aspects of doing so. All of it . . . except for his wrapped fist. Poet is mesmerized by the AngleTron view and he reaches up and lightly touches his bloody cheek. The view on the Tron switches though, just in time to show Ed charging at Poet. Poet can’t turn fast enough, though, and Ed’s barbed wrist plunges right into the small of his back. Ed rakes it away, ripping fabric and flesh as Poet spasms from the hit. Ed spins him around and punches him in the face again, ripping away more mask and skin. He knees Poet and then forearms him across the base of his neck, sending Poet to his hands and knees. Ed kicks him in the ribs, sending Poet onto his back in pain.

Ed drops and straddles Poet and wraps his free hand around Poet’s neck to hold his head still and then begins RAKING THE BARBED WIRE FIST ACROSS POET’S FOREHEAD, digging in as hard as he can, ripping away mask, skin, meat. Again and again he rakes, his knuckles becoming covered with blood - both his own and Poet’s. He doesn’t notice it at first, but Poet grasps his wrist around his throat and struggles it free. Ed tries to force his hand back around his opponent’s throat, but Poet resists with everything he’s got, and it must have been quite a sight for Ed, with blood flowing down across the white eyes of Poet’s mask. Poet pushes the hand away and Ed draws back to make another run with the barbed fist, but Poet lurches up quickly with a HEADBUTT that stuns Ed! Spidey then brings a fist across Ed’s jaw, and then another, and finally punches him right in his already broken nose, sending Edward toppling off of him.

Poet scrambles to his feet and staggers to Ed and tries to pick him up, but Ed slams him with the barbed fist to the gut and Poet doubles over, pain racing through his ribs and torn flesh. Ed plows him in the face with it again as he gets to one knee, and as Poet falls to one knee himself, Edward HEADBUTTS POET! Edward gets to his feet and picks Poet up and

HURLS POET OUT OF THE RING!

POET CATCHES THE CAGE!

Edward looks on in disgust as Poet hangs from the side of the cage wall, holding on to the fencing with his hands. Ed leaps to drag poet down, but SP spears a leg out behind him and ROCKS Edward, sending him flying back into the ring - INTO THE PILE OF BARBED WIRE! No sooner does Edward start to untangle himself than POET LEAPS FROM THE CAGE - CORKSCREW SPIDAHSAULT FROM THE CELL WALL! Poet ignores the barbed wire pawing at him and hooks Ed’s leg!

1

2

2.999 ED KICKS OUT!

JR

SONOFABITCH! HE HAD HIM! HE HAD HIM!

JESSE

Even I thought that was it, Ross!

Poet crawls away from Ed, unable to muster the will to get to his feet again. Everything he had, ignoring his ribs and other wounds, went into the near-impossible SpidahSault from the cage wall.

JR

Damn it. It looks like there’s no more gas in the tank . . .

JESSE

Come on, Kid . . . do something.

Edward comes up behind Poet and hauls him to his knees. He reaches down and hooks Poet’s arms up in a Full Nelson and drags Spidey backwards a few feet before jerking him up - FULL NELSON SLAM TO THE BARBED WIRE! Poet just lies on his shoulders, arse in the air, legs folded back over his head.

JR

HE’S DEAD! HE’S DEAD!

Edward turns and pulls Poet’s legs down, hooking one. Dandy slides in and sadly goes for the count.

1

2

2.99999999999999 HOLY SHITE, POET THROWS AN ARM UP!

JR

HE’S ALIVE! SOMEHOW, SOME WAY, HE’S STILL KICKIN’!

JESSE

SLOW COUNT! THAT BASTARD REF IS SLOWING THE COUNT!

Ed rolls away from Poet, both men too exhausted, apparently to do much of anything.

POET KIPS UP!

JR

YES! I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE GOT IT FROM, HE PULLED DOWN FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS BOOTS, BUT HE . . . KIPPED . . . UP!

Staggering, almost drunkenly, Poet makes his way to Ed and kicks him in the head for good measure before continuing on to the corner. He almost collapses across the turnbuckle but holds himself up. One side is ropes, the other is not, and for a moment Poet gazes at the edge of the ring where the ropes have been broken. He looks back at Ed with bloodstained, masked eyes, and raises his foot - *STOMP*

Ed begins to stir and the volume of the crowd rises with every *STOMP*

*STOMP*

*STOMP* Ed gets to his knees.

*STOMP* Ed is on one knee

*STOMP* Ed is up! Poet comes rocketing in - SPIDAHKICK!

JR

HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM!

JESSE

Ah, to hell with it. Wrap it up, kid! You’ve got him!

Poet collapses backwards onto Ed, facing up. Dandy is there for the count!

1

2

POET SITS UP.

JR

What the - wait!

JESSE

The cell roof! It’s HIM!

Poet is sitting up, Edward forgotten, gazing up at the Cell roof. Standing there is THE DARK POET. The two Poets stare at each other and SP slowly gets to his feet, never taking his gaze away from TDK. Sp then stumbles to the edge of the ring and reaches out to grab a handfull of cage and BEGINS TO CLIMB! Within a few steps, though, he goes to move his leg, but can’t. He looks down to see BLACK WIDOW securing his leg against the cage wall with a strand of barbed wire from the spool sitting at ringisde where Edward had rolled it earlier!

JR

NO! THAT JEZEBEL!

JESSE

DAMN!

Poet looks at her and she looks back at him, expressionless. Her eyes are glazed over and she seems to just be staring off into space. Poet looks at his foot, to Widow, and back to TDK. He thinks for a moment before just RIPPING HIS FOOT FREE! Barbs tear at his boot, but don’t do much damage, and he continues on his way up the side of the cage. Up top, TDK makes with a “Come one” gesture.

JR

Look at the way the bastard is dressed.

The camera angle changes to see the top of the Cell better, and indeed TDK has strayed from his usual black and white version of Poet’s costume. His mask is the same, but he wears a long coat now, that buttons up to a high collar. SP reaches the top of the cage and swings - monkey bars style - across the roof, to the door at the top. The same door he had to go through to win the Tag Titles at AngleMania. Only this time, it isn’t locked, and this time, TDK is there to rip it open. He reaches down and snags Poet and lifts him out of the Cell, tossing him down on the roof. TDK slams the door shut.

JR

I have a bad feeling about all of this.

JESSE

Me too, Ross. Me too.

In the ring, Edward is stirring. He is sitting on his knees, untangling the mass of barbed wire from two torn down sides of the ring. El Dandy doesn’t see, as he’s watching the two Poets on top of the cage. At ringside, Widow begins pulling more and more barbed wire free of the spool.

Up top, SP gets shakily to his feet, and the two face each other. For a long moment they simply stare, both unaware that a boom mic is being lowered from the rafters by the OAOAST Production Crew. Neither of them cares if this moment, this conversation, is made public or not. It’s too important to care. And in a way, being public might rest both of their souls much easier. The Dark Poet slowly unbuttons the coat before sliding it off his shoulders. He reveals a sick display . . . he is wearing a violet sleeveless shirt and black tights with thick boots. But his body . . . his body is tattooed with green scales. Small things that almost-but not quite- blend in with all the scars that are now apparent, running the lengths of his arms and likely continuing on all over his back and chest. He then reaches up and removes the black mask, to reveal a scarred and tattooed face. It is no longer the twin of Poet . . . he has forced himself into something opposite. Something not even human-looking anymore.

Into a Goblin.

TDK

So very much the same, brother. We are. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to change it, change it all, I couldn’t stand to be associated with you. But when it was over, when the ink dried and the scars healed, I realized that I had become something even more tied to you and your persona. I had become your worst enemy. I wept.

But then I remembered. I remembered what this . . . creature . . . this . . .Goblin . . . did to your namesake.

((TDK looks over at Black Widow, who robotically continues unspooling barbed wire))

He robbed him of his first love. Off a bridge she went, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t save her. And neither . . . can you.

SP

((Poet reaches up to his own mask and sticks his thumbs under the fabric at the base of his neck. And slowly . . . he begins to lift. He lifts it up, up, over his nose, but doesn’t stop there. He continues. And removes it completely, revealing a face red with his own blood, pouring from his various scars from the match. His hairline is matted with drying blood, and his right eye is swelling. But he stares right at TDK and says,

SP

My name is Peter James Cone. I don’t need this mask. I don’t need you, your approval, or our father’s. I am my own man. And I’m telling you right now, that if you kill her . . . I will kill you.

Goblin

(Wicked smile) Oh . . . she’s not going to die. Not yet.

Goblin spears a hand out and grabs Poet by the throat, applying just enough pressure that Poet can feel his strength draining, his body finally failing. Down in the ring, we see that Edward has been very busy, methodically stringing the free barbed wire across the ring from corner to corner, creating . . . a web. He looks on as El Dandy regards him with cold contempt.

And he never sees Dandy come after him. Dandy clocks Edward in the side of the head as a roar goes up from the crowd, and quickly snatches him up - EL DANDYNATOR TO THE OUTSIDE!

JR

FINALLY! WARZONE RULES FOR EVERYONE!

Dandy makes for the cage door and flings it open, going after Widow. Just as he gets there, though, she reaches to the side of the giant spool and grabs something. The last thing he will remember is Widow swinging a chair wildly and with full force at his head. El Dandy falls, a vicious shot sprawling him. Few people would have been standing anyway. She looks up at the top of the Cell, where Goblin is holding Poet out at an arm’s length, signaling her. She takes the end of all the unspooled barbed wire she’s managed to take out, and begins climbing the side of the Cell.

Widow reaches the top of the cage with barbed wire in tow.

Goblin

I may not be a Spider anymore, but she’s a Widow. (To Widow) Do what I told you to.

Widow stares at SP, that same spaced out gaze, and begins wrapping the barbed wire all around him. After a few moments, he’s secured . . . in a cocoon of barbed wire. Goblin grins wickedly and suddenly tightens his grip, and Poet can’t do a thing. He spits up blood and sputters and gags, but ultimately . . . he loses consciousness and sags in Goblin’s grip. Widow silently walks over and opens the cell door.

Goblin holds the cocooned Poet up over the roof door and drops him.

JR

NO! NO! NO!

Poet lands in the web of barbed wire with a harsh thud and doesn’t stir. Edward, however, throws an arm over the edge of the ring from the outside, and hauls himself into the ring. He crawls over to Poet as another ref comes flying down the ramp from the back at the sight of a pinfall to end this thing. Ed ignores all the cutting and scraping of crawling over the barbed wire web, and drapes an arm over Poet’s neck.

The ref uneasily makes the count in a free area of the barbed wire web.

1!

2!

3!

JR

NO! NO! ED RETAINS THE TITLES!

JESSE

Somebody get the damned Medics out! It’s over!

The Cell begins to lift immediately, and Goblin and Widow merely ride it up and out of sight, disappearing into the shadows of the rafters. Medics flood from the back, some checking on Edward, but most flocking to Poet. With wire cutters they quickly cut him free of the barbed wire and begin checking his battered body. One of them removes a radio from it’s holster on hsi uniform and begins requesting something.

JR

Folks, we’ve just been informed that an ambulance has been requested. SpiderPoet’s not breathing . . .

[Chanel #99]

::A video package starts::

*Voice over: Two men, once allies in battle, two men now bitter enemies. They were never considered equals, but times have changed. One man has returned to The OAOAST to recapture greatness and far surpass his previous the accomplishments. The other strives to prevent his former underling from attaining that greatness at his expense. Two men who went to war last month…

::Some Guy gets up and grabs AS by the legs and cinches him up. SG picks him up and nails him with a Wheelbarrow Someplex, and another, and another, a fourth connects so hard that AS flips over on to his stomach. SG floats over and gets a full nelson camel clutch

Cole: SG has the Somemission locked in; we saw this move on heldDOWN! Thursday!

AS tries to fight out the move but SG won't let go. SG lets out a primal scream and pulls back as hard as he can forcing Anglesault to tap out.::

::AS picks SG up, he tries to whip him into the ropes but SG reverses it and sends AS in. SG hits the opposite ropes as AS is coming off and goes for another Thesz press. AS catches him, hooks his head and leg and hammers Some Guy with a Fisherman's Buster.

Cole: Salt Shaker on SG! What a move by Anglesault!

AS hooks the leg and the ref starts to count.

One…

Two…

Three.::

::Out of nowhere SG kips ups on one foot and the crowd goes nuts. SG hops over to AS and hits him with three of the hardest punches he can muster. This staggers AS as Some Guy starts to tune up the band again!

SG goes for a left footed Somekick but AS grabs SG's foot, jerks him to the mat, and locks in The Screams of No Reply!

Coach: AS has him in the anklelock again! No way can SG get out of this.

SG is screaming in pain as Anglesault cranks on his ankle. SG makes a vain attempt at getting to the ropes but AS pulls him back and drops down to grapevine SG's legs with his own. AS twists SG's ankle as hard as he can and Some Guy finally taps out!::

Cole: SG has the Somemission locked in; we saw this move on heldDOWN! Thursday!

AS tries to fight out the move but SG won't let go. SG lets out a primal scream and pulls back as hard as he can forcing Anglesault to tap out.::

…This month will go to HELL*

::The Hell in a Cell music starts to play and the lights fade as the cage lowers halfway to the ring::

Coach: Here we go!

Cole: Anglesault and Some Guy are about to enter the most hellacious, the most barbaric, the most brutal, the most savage, the most demonic structure in the history of this business!

Coach: Jeez and people say I'm a hyperbole spewing shill?

::The cage lowers all the way to the floor as the crowd buzzes with anticipation::

"Sexy Boy" bursts out through the speakers and the crowd goes crazy.

Ring Announcer: Making his way down the aisle from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 225 pounds Some Guy!

Some Guy explodes through the curtains to a massive pop and DANCES~! his way down the aisle. SG circles the Cell and then climbs to the top. He spins around and hits his pose as the pyro shoots off behind him.

Cole: What an entrance!

SG climbs down and enters the ring as "Dream On" hits.

Anglesault walks through the curtains with his robe flowing and saunters to the ring to chorus of hate filled boos from the crowd.

Ring Announcer: Now coming down the aisle hailing from NY, NY and weighing in at 230 pounds Anglesault!

Coach: Anglesault looks pretty confident coming down to the ring.

Cole: That's kind of surprising considering how he feels Commissioner Moysey has stacked the deck against him.

'Sault enters the Cell and climbs into the ring soaking up the jeers of the crowd with an arrogant smirk on his face.

Cole: These two men had a tremendous 2 out of 3 falls match at School's Out which Anglesault won after losing the first fall. Although many feel that had it not been for an attack on Some Guy before the match that he may has been able to win.

Coach: This time there are no possible excuses. It's one on one and the strongest will prevail.

The bell rings and both men circle each other in the ring.

Cole: AS is keeping his distance after what happened at School's Out when SG attacked him right away.

SG and AS lock up and AS quickly armdrags him to the mat. SG gets right back up and they lock up again. Quick go behind by SG who tries to pull 'Sault's legs out but get nailed with an elbow. AS turns around, lands three hard punches and whips SG into the ropes. SG springs back and get back dropped up and over the top. SG's feet hit the cage and he takes a nasty fall onto his shoulders.

Coach: Ohhhh! That had to hurt.

AS goes to the floor picks SG up and whips him hard into the Cell. AS catches SG on the rebound and hits a Sweet Emotion belly-to-belly suplex splattering SG on the floor. AS lays in a few stomps and poses for the crowd.

Cole: This one might be over quickly.

AS tosses SG back into the ring and goes for a cover.

One…

Two…

Kick out.

AS picks SG up and whips him into the buckles. AS follows him in with a clothesline and then hits a succession of hard chops leaving SG's chest beat red and gasping for breath. AS goes to whip SG into the buckles again but it's reversed and AS hits them hard. SG follows him in with a back elbow, snapmares AS down on his ass and drop kicks him in the back of the head. AS sits back up and SG hits a "Perfect" rolling neck snap.

SG attempts an elbow drop but AS moves and gets to his feet. SG lands a chop and AS returns the favor. The two men trade chops so hard that they echo through out the arena.

Coach: It's chop fest 2003 at the Great Angle Bash!

Cole: Dork.

AS finally stops the chop fest with a kick to the gut and a snap suplex. AS drops an elbow and grabs SG's leg.

Cole: He's going to start taking SG's leg apart.

SG shakes his leg free and kicks AS right in the face, bloodying his nose. AS stumbles back to the ropes and gets clotheslined over the top by SG. SG skins the cat back into the ring and go to the top rope. Just as 'Sault gets to his feet SG jumps and comes crashing into him with a double ax handle to the head. AS goes down and SG walks over and grabs the top part of the ring steps. SG nonchalantly drops them on AS' back and goes back to the bottom half of the steps. SG moves the steps so they are about 4 feet away from the cell wall.

Coach: What the hell does he have in mind here?

AS gets up and charges at Some Guy only to receive a drop toe hold ramming his face into the ring steps.

Cole: Anglesault's nose has to be broken by now. It's just gushing blood.

SG grabs 'Sault by the legs and drags him up onto the steps. SG cinches him up and goes for a Wheelbarrow Someplex off the steps to the floor. Just as SG get AS vertical AS shifts his weight and drives SG face first down into the steel steps.

Coach: What a counter! AS just bulldogged SG right into the steps and it looks like SG's nose might be broken as well.

AS pick up SG on the steps, bearhugs him and flings him right into the cage with a belly-to-belly suplex. SG bounces off and crashes down head and shoulder first on the floor. AS picks him up and once again belly-to-bellys SG into the cage but this time the cage slightly breaks.

AS throws SG back into the ring and covers him.

One…

Two…

Thr…

SG kicks out!

AS can't believe it. AS picks SG up on his shoulder and places him on the top.

Cole: AS is going to try and end this with a Suplex!

AS backs up and runs to the corner, climbing the turnbuckles, and grabs SG for a tope rope Sweet Emotion. SG hooks his leg on the rope and takes AS over the top with him as they crash into the damaged section of the cage, break it completely open, and tumble to the outside.

Coach: The Cell has been broken open! And both men might be dead!

After a long while AS starts to gets up as does SG. AS picks SG up and rams his head into the cage and then German Suplexes SG on the entrance way floor. AS grabs SG's legs ands catapults him face first into the cage. AS drags SG around to the other side of the Cell and lays him on a table. AS starts to climb the cage.

Cole: What the hell is AS thinking? He should have just put him in the ring and pinned him.

Anglesault gets about half way up when SG rolls off the table and grabs a chair. SG throws the chair at 'Sault and misses by inches, SG grabs it and goes to throw it again but AS climbs all the way to the top of the cage to avoid it. SG hooks the chair around his shoulder and climbs up after AS. SG reaches the top and is met by a kick to the head that nearly knocks him off the side. AS grabs SG by the hair and pulls him to the top. AS grabs the chair from SG and swings it as hard a he can, but SG rolls out of the way. AS swings it again and again SG moves. SG gets to his feet, ducks yet another chair shot and kicks 'Sault's leg out from under him.

Coach: SG has never really gotten untracked in this match. AS has pretty much dominated. That's not what I expected.

Cole: Well when you get back dropped over the top in the first minute of the match it's a little hard to get going.

SG waits for AS to get up and dropkicks him back down. SG picks him up and DDTs him on the cage splitting AS' forehead open. SG stomps the back of AS' head, forcing his face straight into the cage. The blood is just pouring out of AS now from both is forehead and nose. SG grabs hold of AS' legs and lurches back for a Wheelbarrow Someplex. SG rolls over and hits a second and a third. AS bounces up off the cage with each one and crashes back down.

Cole: That's not a ring mat up there, it's cyclone fencing and it can cut you up.

Coach: Yeah, and I heard that you can get a finger caught in it too.

SG slowly gets to his feet and picks up AS. SG grabs him by the shoulder and starts to run him to the side of the cage.

Cole: Oh my God! He's going to throw him off the cage!

AS low blows SG to counter and both men fall down. SG gets up first, starts to pick AS up but gets hit with another low blow. AS hooks SG up before he can even fall and plasters him with a Salt Shaker! SG is out and bleeding from the back of his head.

AS picks up SG and waste locks him from behind. AS grunts and sends SG over his head with German Suplex so vicious that SG lands on the back of his head and flips over the side of the cage. SG barely holds on to the side with his arms and chin on the top and the rest of his body dangling over the edge. AS walks over to him and kicks him square in the face sending SG flying backwards and crashing down through the Spanish announce table!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Cole: Good God! Oh My God! He might be dead! Some Guy was just kicked 15 feet down to the floor through a table. Somebody get out here to help him!

AS stands on the top of the cage looking down proudly at his accomplishment as the EMTs come to ringside with a stretcher. They slowly load SG on the stretcher and start to take him to the back. AS still on top of the cage signals to the back and Brock Ausstin comes out and knocks out the EMTs. Brock grabs SG off the stretcher, carries him to the announce table, and lays him down on it.

Cole: What the hell is he doing out here? The man is seriously hurt. What the hell is wrong with Anglesault and Brock? Those sadistic bastards are trying to end Some Guy's career!

Anglesault walks to the edge of the cage and turns his back to the announce table.

Coach: What is he going to do? What the hell? Who the hell is that? Somebody just came out of the crowd and hit Brock with a chair.

AS doesn't notice this and leaps backwards of the cage.

Cole: Holy Shit! A Salt Sault off the top of the cell! That's 20 ft!

The man from the crowd pushes SG off the table just before AS comes crashing through it.

Cole: I don't even know what to say anymore! I think Anglesault may have just broken every bone in his body!

Coach: Who was that who helped Some Guy?

The man who attacked Brock picks up SG and carries him around the cage and rolls him into the corner of the ring. The man lifts his head and the camera gets a close up. The crowd pops HUGE!

Cole: It's Big McLargeHuge! Big is here!

Big STRUTS~! in the ring to a massive pop!

Brock carries Anglesault to the ring and rolls him out to the middle. Big jumps on Brock and they fight to the back!

SG very slowly drags himself up to his feet by the ropes, nearly falling back down twice as he doubled over coughing.

Cole: Some Guy is coughing up blood!

SG sees AS trying to get to his feet. SG lifts his foot about 4 inches off the mat and slightly taps it back down, he does it again, and again.

Coach: Some Guy is tuning up the band!

AS finally gets to his feet but is barely conscious and stumbles toward SG who with one last burst of energy cracks AS in the jaw with a Somekick! Blood flings from SG's mouth and from AS' face as the kick connects. SG falls on top of AS and the ref counts:

One…

Two…

Three.

::The bell rings and "Sexy Boy" starts to play::

Ring Announcer: The winner of this match and number one contender for the OAOAST Championship SOME GUY!

Cole: Some Guy did it! He did it! He beat Anglesault!

Coach: Whoa! What a brutal match! Neither man is even moving.

Cole: Some Guy showed last month that he would just keep coming and showed it again this month. But Anglesault just gave him the beating of his life. Neither man will ever be the same again!

Coach: How is Some Guy going to be able to fight the World Champion on heldDOWN! in this condition?

EMTs come to the ring and stretcher both men out.

[Chanel #99]

The power in the arena shuts down, cloaking the fans in darkness. "Come With Me" begins to play over the loudspeakers, and the entrance ramp is lit up by the blast of white, sparkling pyro. Stephen Joseph emerges from behind the curtain, standing atop the ramp and striking a crucifix pose, tilting his head back and soaking in the negative responses of the crowd. He turns back for a moment, and pulls something out from behind the curtain...the casket. Metallic silver in nature, the object normally used to house the dead will be used tonight, as one of these men are leaving the ring by way of it. Stephen pushes the morbid tool down the aisle, positioning it at ringside as he enters the ring. The leader of the Trinity stands in the center of the ring, removing his jacket and sunglasses, as the spotlights shine down on him. After a few moments, they again dim, causing a total blackout.

The piano intro to "Bring Me To Life" starts to play, causing a stir amongst the fans in the crowd. As the song kicks into it's first chorus, the arena is lit up again in a blinding flash of pyro, which shoots up from either side of the stage. Through the sparks walks Zack Malibu, the OAOAST World Champion and the victim of the last two months of Trinity assaults. Zack hesitates for a moment, looking more focused tonight then perhaps ever before. Fans in the crowd yell in adulation for the champion, as he begins his journey to the ring for a match that he has a decisive disadvantage in.

JR:"This one is not going to be pretty, folks. In fact, this one's gonna be a..."

Jesse:"Slobberknocker?"

JR:"Yes, Jess. How did you guess?"

Jesse:"Because you haven't changed your material in 6 years."

As the announcers bicker, the camera closes in on Zack, who is posing on the second rope to the delight of the fans. He hops off the ropes and paces the ring, staring intently at Stephen Joseph. The referee comes over to Zack, who hands him the World Heavyweight Championship belt. The music shuts down, the lights come up, and the referee raises the title, signalling that this title match is now underway!

The two men inch closer to each other, taking the steps that bring them face to face in the center of the ring. Zack and Stephen have a silent staredown, and Stephen backs off, extending a hand to Zack Malibu!?

JR:"You have got to be kidding me."

Jesse:"Why is that so wrong of him, JR? Don't you believe in turning the other cheek?"

Zack looks down at the hand, and then back up at Stephen. He's not the slightest bit moved by this gesture.

JR:"See, Zack knows better."

Stephen steps back, annoyed that Zack won't accept his offer of sportmanship. He steps forward again, and offers his hand. Zack seems reluctant again, and looks back up at Stephen Joseph, his glare doing his speaking for him.

JR:"3 months of torture, and NOW he wants a handshake?"

Jesse:"Let bygones be bygones."

JR:"Tell that to Zack."

Stephen takes his hand away, and now the two circle each other, setting up for a lockup. Before they can however, Zack stops, and offers HIS hand to Stephen!"

Jesse:"HA! Check that out, JR!"

Stephen stops, and seems perplexed. He goes to shake Zack's hand, much like he wanted Zack to do earlier, but Zack pulls it away and cracks Stephen across the face with a hard slap!

JR:"Hehe, how about that, Jess?"

Stephen, eyes wide and full of rage, charges at Zack, who ducks the oncoming blow. Zack gets up and turns around, and meets Stephen with a punch of his own, staggering him against the ropes. Zack takes another shot, and another, until Stephen backdrops him over the top rope, to the floor. Zack lands on his feet, and reaches in, pulling SJ's legs out from under him and then dragging him out to the floor under the bottom rope.

Zack takes Stephen Joseph and Irish whips him into the guardrail hard, seperating the piece he collides with from the rest of the barrier. Zack walks over, and pulls Stephen Joseph up by the hair and drags him around ringside, then throws him OVER the barrier on the opposite side! SJ is now amidst the ringside fans, and Zack pulls him up out of the heap, then suplexes him from the crowd, onto the ringside floor!

JR:"He'll need some massage therapy after that one!"

Stephen is howling in pain, as Zack continues the assault, taking out all frustrations on his enemy. He starts crawling backwards, away from Zack, who obviously didn't come to play. Stephen keeps backing up, but then kicks his leg forward, catching Zack below the belt. The cheap move allows Stephen enough time to get up and charge forward, tackling Zack and ramming him backwards into the guardrail!

Jesse:"An eye for an eye."

Zack has had the wind taken out of him, and Stephen continues on offense, picking Zack up and violently flinging him headfirst into the ringpost! Zack's forehead collides with the steel pole, and he is sent toppling forward, laid out on the ringside floor.

Stephen Joseph stands above Zack, and leans down, pulling him up so that the cameras get a closeup view of his now bloodied face. SJ slams Zack's lower back into the apron, and then props him up against it, the ring supporting Zack. SJ backs up, and then runs forward, clotheslining Zack and causing his back to bend against the apron! Zack starts to slowly fall to the ground, but SJ picks him up, and rolls him back into the ring. Stephen then goes rooting around under the ring apron, in search of something.

JR:"Now what is he looking for?"

Jesse:"Probably the pieces of Zack's spine!"

Stephen's search does not come up empty, as he reveals a Singapore cane in his hand. He enters the ring, and just as Zack is getting up (with his back to SJ), he feels the sting of a cane shot, brought down upon his back!

JR:"Good God!"

Zack stumbles forward, only to be hit again, another stinging blow coming down upon him. He turns around, towards Stephen, who brings a third shot down on Zack, only this time cracking him in the forehead and laying him out!

Jesse:"Haha, this one is going to be over very soon, Ross. I can feel it!"

SJ reaches down, dragging Zack by the arm towards the ropes, where the casket sits on the outside. SJ continues to pull, and doesn't notice Zack reaching back and swiping the cane with his free hand. As SJ struggles to drag him, Zack reaches up and jams the cane in an unpleasant spot, causing Stephen to grunt in agony! Zack stands up, raising the cane up high, and starts raining caneshots across Stephen's back, sending him scurrying around the ring and unable to keep his balance. Zack grabs him, however, and pulls him back. The champ spins him around, and lifts him up high, then press slams him OVER THE TOP ROPE, and ONTO THE CASKET~!

JR:"BAH GAWD HE'S BROKEN IN HALF!"

Zack falls to the mat, having used a lot of himself to pull that off. Stephen Joseph lay in a crumpled ball on the floor, a dent visible on the lid of the casket from where his body landed. The crowd chants "Holy Shit" at an amazing volume, as those at home are treated to a replay of the spot.

We cut back to full view, as Zack is still coming to in the ring. SJ reaches up, using the casket to help pull himself off the ground. Zack notices this, and just as Stephen is up on his feet, Zack runs through the ring, sliding out under the bottom rope and catching SJ with a baseball slide, kicking him into the side of the casket! Zack pries the lid of the casket open, and then looks out to the crowd, who are cheering him every step of the way!

JR:"He's gonna toss his ass in there!"

Jesse:"No way Ross, Stephen is not going down that easily!"

Zack picks Stephen up, and tries to get him into the casket, however SJ struggles, finally breaking free and escaping defeat by raking Zack's eyes. He grabs Zack and drags him around ringside, then hurls the champion into the timekeepers table, sending the timekeeper himself diving into the crowd to avoid being hit! Zack lay amidst the table, chairs, the ring bell, and anything else that was in the general vicinity, as Stephen Joseph starts wheeling the casket around the ring.

JR:"What is he doing?"

SJ takes the casket to the side of the ring Zack is on, and then pushes with all his might, sending the casket rolling at full speed towards Zack!

JR:"God Almighty, Look out!"

Zack rolls out of the way just in time, as the casket crushes the timekeepers table and the chairs against the security barrier. Stephen Joseph storms over to where Zack is, picking him up and ramming his head into the side of the casket. He tosses Zack back into the ring, and throws a chair in as well.

JR:"We didn't expect a scientific classic tonight. These two are going to decimate each other!"

Stephen Joseph reenters the ring, and starts kicking Zack, almost playfully. He's toying with the World Champion. He picks Zack up and whips him to the corner, where Zack hits backfirst against the turnbuckles. SJ picks up the chair, and charges the corner, slamming the chair down, but Zack gets a leg up and kicks it right into his face! Malibu comes careening out of the corner with a lariat, and Stephen Joseph takes the impact so hard he nearly comes out of his boots! Both men lay on the mat, exhausted from the brawl thus far.

Zack pushes himself up first, as he staggers but quickly regains his balance. He calls for SJ to get up, and when he does, Zack belts him with a chop across the chest. SJ tumbles back a bit, and Zack follows up with another chop. Again, SJ backs away, but Zack is right on him, nailing him with a THIRD chop. Zack takes him by the arm and goes for an Irish whip, but SJ blocks and pulls Zack towards him, kicking him in the ribs and then going for a powerbomb, but Zack slips out and lands on his feet! He kicks SJ in the ribs, and then grabs him, planting him on the mat with a sitout powerbomb of his own! Zack tosses SJ's lifeless body aside, and rolls to the floor, pulling the casket away from the crash scene and setting it up near the apron. Zack opens the lid, and starts to reenter the ring, however SJ is up,and kicks Zack in the head as he steps through the middle ropes, sending him tumbling backwards and falling into the casket!

JR:"No! No!"

Zack lay in the steel box, and SJ steps out onto the apron, reaching down to shut the lid! Zack kicks his feet up and pushes up with his arms, not letting it close on him! Stephen puts all his strength into closing the lid down, but Zack will not let him! Zack uses his right leg to start kicking at SJ's knee, taking his attention away from the casket. Finally, SJ breaks his attempts, as he holds his knee, allowing Zack to climb out of the casket and onto the apron. He pulls Stephen up, but the Trinity leader knocks Zack's hand away, and fires off two jabs that daze him, and then clotheslines Zack over the top rope and back into the ring. SJ steps back in as well, and grabs Zack around the waist as he stands up, then takes him over and slams him headfirst into the mat with a backdrop driver!

JR:"His neck might be broken!"

Jesse:"Hey, he did that to Stephen Joseph once."

JR:"Aw you make me sick, Jess."

Stephen stands over Zack, slamming his arm down across the back of Zack's neck. He looks to the side, and sees the Singapore Cane still laying on the canvas, and picks it up. As Zack Malibu stands up, SJ runs forward, hitting Zack in the throat with it and taking the breath out of him! Zack clutches his throat, and SJ stands him up and wraps the Singapore Cane around his neck again, going for a Cane assisted Russian Leg Sweep, however Zack starts elbowing out of it, finally backing Stephen away. Before Zack can do anything, SJ takes a home run style swing with the cane, and Zack falls backwards, using the MATRIX DUCK~! to block the shot. He comes back up to a standing position and reaches back, grabbing Stephen's head and dropping him with a neckbreaker!

JR:"Great counter!"

Zack grabs Stephen and drags him towards the ropes, and then picks him up, trying to lift him again in a press slam position, however SJ falls back behind him, and grabs him in a waistlock! Zack fires an elbow back to break the grip, and turns himself around to come face to face with Stephen. SJ charges, and Zack sidesteps it, using a drop toehold that sends Stephen falling throat first on the middle rope! SJ hangs across the rope, his arms limply hanging over it. Malibu takes a few steps back, and runs forward, catching Stephen in the side of the head with a Zack Attack that sends him through the ropes and landing halfway in the casket!

JR:"All Zack has to do is get the rest of him in there, and this one is ancient history!"

Jesse:"Ancient like your cliches."

Zack hops out to the floor, looking at SJ's legs sticking out of the casket. He grabs each of Stephen's ankles, and rather than stuff the rest of him in the casket, pulls him OUT, causing Stephen to go SPLAT, face first on the floor! The crowd is absolutely nuts as Zack Malibu is not going to let this one end until HE wants it to end! Zack grabs Stephen by his head, and walks him over to the aisleway, where he just tosses SJ several feet down the aisle, watching him roll along the floor. Zack then walks back to ringside, and over to the casket, closing the lid on it and wheeling it away from the ring.

Jesse:"What's he doing, Ross? What is he up to!?"

Zack manuevers the casket into the aisleway, and readies himself behind it. Stephen Joseph picks himself off the ground, and turns to see Zack charging ahead with a full head of steam, and RAMMING THE CASKET INTO HIM!

Jesse:"He ran him over! Is that legal!?"

JR:"Anything goes here tonight!"

Stephen looks half dead as he lay in the aisle, while the blood covering Zack's face cannot hide his determined eyes. He paces over to his rival, trying to catch him but instead having to chase Stephen, who starts crawling away, up to the entranceway. Stephen tries to stand up, and winds up stumbling forward, through the curtain into the backstage area, with Zack in hot pursuit.

Stephen looks behind him and sees Zack coming, and moves frantically through the back, trying to get away from his nemesis. He blows by two staff workers who are packing up light tubes from earlier in the night, and then grabs a crate of them, hurling it at Zack, who barely gets out of the way as the crate and glass tubes shatter upon impact! Zack tries to pick himself up before Stephen can capitalize, but only feels the sting of glass on his back, as a light tube is smashed on it, causing various cuts to open up on him! SJ takes Zack and throws his bloodied form out to the arena again, as he drags a crate of light tubes with him into full view of everybody!

JR:"This guy is sick! This isn't a light tubes match!"

Jesse:"Ah, but Zack is eating his words now, JR! Remember, he said that one of them would have to be killed in order for the other to win!"

JR:"He meant figuratively, Jess!"

Jesse:"I don't think Stephen Joseph took it that way!"

Zack walks on his knees, trying to make it back to ringside, as he is stalked in the aisle by Stephen Joseph. Zack reaches the casket, and pulls himself up with the support of it. He turns his head, and sees Stephen coming at him, a light tube raised above his head, and Zack ducks out of the way, the light tube shattering as it crashes down on the lid of the casket! Zack takes advantage of this opportunity and uses a double leg takedown to get Stephen on the floor, and then mounts his shoulders, firing off shot after shot after shot to daze the Bible-thumper. Zack pries him off the aisle floor, and takes him over to the casket, where he sticks Stephen's right hand into it, and then SLAMS THE LID DOWN ON IT!

JR:"Mah Gawd, his hand is broken! It's broken, Jess!"

SJ HOWLS in pain, as Zack found a way to counter the light tube shots, albeit in a way that Stephen Joseph never imagined. SJ holds his injured hand in his other one, looking down on it. Zack picks up a light tube, and now it's Stephen Joseph's turn to feel the shrapnel dig into him, as Zack takes a mighty swing, the tube popping upon impact across Stephen Joseph's back!

Jesse:"JR, look at this! These two are taking the words Blood Feud to a new extreme here tonight!"

Zack pushes the casket so that it rolls down the aisle, eventually crashing into the ring apron. He takes Stephen and walks him down the aisle, then sends him flying into the ring steps, taking them out of their usual position and further hurting SJ. Zack then tosses him back into the ring, where Stephen Joseph's blood stains the canvas as he rolls on it.

Zack Malibu climbs up on the apron, and enters the ring again, watching as Stephen Joseph pulls himself up with the assistance of the ropes. Zack comes up behind him, and grabs his head under his right arm...he's locking on the California Dream!

JR:"We haven't seen him use this move in ages!"

Jesse:"He's trying to put him to sleep, JR!"

Zack cinches down on the hold, but Stephen won't allow Zack full control over it. He manages to shift position so that he's facing Zack, and then breaks the hold by throwing Zack over with a release Northern Lights Suplex! Zack slowly gets up, and then heads for the corner to pick himself up, only for Stephen to grab him and send him into the other side...NO, ZACK REVERSES! Stephen hits hard, and Zack charges, diving into the corner with a Stinger style splash, only for Stephen to move out of the way! Zack's sternum collides with the top turnbuckle, and that stuns him, as he walks into a boot to the gut, and then Stephen hits the Fallen Angel!

Jesse:"It's OVER, JR!"

JR:"He's got to get him in the casket, Jess!"

Stephen Joseph stands on his knees, pushing Zack towards the side of the ring where the casket lay. He steps out of the ring to position the casket right by the apron, and then reenters to shove Zack in, however the champion locks his legs around the bottom rope, preventing Stephen from getting him into the casket!

JR:"Great thinking by Zack there, doing what it takes to survive this brutality!"

Flustered, Stephen Joseph pulls Zack back to the center of the ring, where he unloads a rampage of stomps to keep the champion down on the mat. Stephen Joseph then exits the ring for what must seem like the millionth time this contest, as he is again poking around under the ring.

JR:"What's he doing now!?"

Stephen Joseph reaches under with both hands, and slowly pulls out a PANE OF GLASS from under the ring!

JR:"Bah Gawd, what is he going to do with that!"

Jesse:"That must be leftovers from the Glass Table match, JR!"

Stephen slowly slides the pane into the ring, under the bottom rope. He then grabs two chairs from ringside and throws them into the ring, one nearly landing on the head of Zack Malibu. SJ enters the ring, and sets up one chair, then the other a few feet away. He then reaches down and picks up the pane of glass, setting it across both chairs.

Jesse:"He's making his OWN Glass Table!"

Stephen Joseph looks down at his improvised instrument of destruction, then back to Zack Malibu, a sickening smile overcoming his crimson masked face. He hooks the champion in a front facelock and pulls him closer to the setup. Stephen Joseph readies Zack Malibu, and lifts him up...FALLEN ANGEL...NO! ZACK LANDS ON HIS FEET! Malibu fires off shots to Stephen's ribs, but SJ hammers Zack down, pounding on his back, and then grabs him again, lifting him up for the Fallen Angel a second time...NO! ZACK AGAIN LANDS ON HIS FEET! In one fell swoop, Zack breaks out of the facelock, grabs SJ in Rock Bottom position, lifts him up, slamming him down on his knee with his now-trademark Rock Bottom Backbreaker~! Stephen yells out in pain, his back having taken the worst punishment in this match, while Zack collapses to all fours, bruised but not beaten.

JR:"The effort of both these men, love them or hate them, is undeniable. Whoever survives this contest deserves to be World Champion!"

Zack pushes himself to his feet, nearly falling over in exhaustion. Stephen paws at the ropes, dragging himself up to his feet, as Zack crouches behind him, waiting. Stephen Joseph turns around, and sees nothing but the right foot of Zack Malibu flying his way...SCHOOL'S OUT...BLOCKED! Stephen Joseph throws Zack's foot down, and then grabs him by the throat...HE'S GONNA CHOKESLAM HIM THROUGH THE GLASS! Stephen lifts Zack up, but only slightly, as Zack elbows his way out of the hold! Stephen Joseph staggers away, turning his back to Zack, who grabs him in a waistlock...RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX THROUGH THE GLASS! GLASS IS EVERYWHERE!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH HAS BEEN BROKEN IN TWO!

JR:"BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD DID YOU SEE THAT!!!!"

Jesse:"I saw it, and I can't believe it!"

Neither man moves, as both are out cold. Stephen Joseph is laying on the glass shrapnel, some pieces penetrating his skin. Many people begin a HUGE "Holy Shit" chant, while the others are speechless at what they've just seen.

JR:"That's got to be it. No normal man can withstand anymore punishment!"

Jesse:"This is the OAOAST, JR. Who said we were normal?"

Zack Malibu rolls out of the ring, falling down onto the floor, as Stephen Joseph lay motionless in the ring. Zack starts to walk over to the casket, but instead he heads back up the aisle!?

Jesse:"Coward's way out!"

JR:"I doubt that!"

Zack walks all the way up, and disappears into the back. The cameras cut to the ring, where Stephen Joseph still lay still, looking up at the lights. We start to hear a sound in the background, like the "whir" of a motor, and the cameras cut to see Zack rolling down the aisle in THE SPIRIT LIFTER~!

Jesse:"What the hell is THAT THING doing here?"

JR:"I can't say I'm sure, Jess!"

Zack pulls up close to the ring, and raises the forklift blades just over the ropes. He climbs out of the seat and paces ringside, lifting up the apron and sifting through whatever is under there, his search turning up a LADDER~!

JR:"NOW A LADDER?"

Zack slides the ladder in, and the look on his face makes it seem like all of his leftover energy is slowly draining. Bloody, sore, and battered, Malibu climbs back in and picks up the ladder, as Stephen Joseph is just now moving, albeit very slowly.

Zack takes the ladder and opens it up, and then tries to lift it up, onto the forklift blades (!) As he's trying to do so, Stephen Joseph crawls behind him, raising his arm between Zack's legs and catching the champion with a low blow. Zack drops the ladder, and it lands in standing position on the mat. Stephen Joseph stands up, using Zack's own body as leverage, and then takes Zack and throws him, unmercifully, into the ladder, his head mashing into the steel steps! Stephen loses his balance for a second, weakend by the blood loss, but quickly recovers. He grabs the two steel chairs from his makeshit Glass Table, and folds one up, leaving it on the mat. He then takes the other one and SMASHES it down across Zack's back, bringing the champion down to the mat. He lays Zack's head on the one chair, and puts the other one on top of him, sandwiching his head. After looking down, then spitting on Zack, Stephen takes the ladder, pulling it a little closer to where Zack lay.

JR:"This cannot be good."

Stephen starts to climb, slower than he usually could. Rung by rung, he makes his way up nearly 3/4 of the way, and then turns around so that he's facing Zack, who lay prone on the mat. Stephen takes a deep breath, and then jumps off the ladder with a Tajiri Style Double Stomp...AND CATCHES A CHAIR TO THE FACE~! ZACK THREW A CHAIR UP TO BLOCK~!

Stephen falls back to the mat with no bracing of his plummet. He sickly bounces off the canvas, landing right next to Zack. Malibu looks up at the ceiling from the canvas, unable to pry himself up. Finally, after a few minutes of both silence and stillness from both men, Zack rolls onto his stomach, planting both hands flat on the canvas and pushing himself up from what Stephen hoped to be his final resting place. Zack stands up, the fans clapping and applauding his ability to do so after all he's been through tonight. Malibu staggers to where Stephen lay, and reaches down and pulls him up. Zack hooks him in a front facelock, and prepares to POP DROP~! The Trinity leader...

JR:"This is it! It's over after this one, for sure!"

Zack tries to lift Stephen, but has trouble doing so, as Stephen just collapses to the mat. Zack reaches down to grab him, but takes a thrust shot to the throat, taking his breath away! As Zack keels over, Stephen stands up and grabs him, lifting him up and HITTING THE FALLEN ANGEL ON ONE OF THE STEEL CHAIRS~!

Jesse:"You're right JR, it IS over! It's over for Zack Malibu!"

Stephen rolls out of the ring, his back cut in various places due to the glass. He opens the lid of the casket, and climbs back in, grabbing Zack by the leg and dragging him towards the ropes. They reach the ropes, and Stephen drops Zack's leg, and kicks him under the bottom rope, into the casket!

Jesse:"Haha, one lid shut away from the end, JR!"

Instead of reaching over though, Stephen exits the ring, and goes over to the set of ringsteps that hasn't been used in this match. He pulls the stair up, and reveals a small item duct-taped under the stairs.

JR:"What in the world..."

Stephen takes the item and clutches it in his grasp, and then looks under the ring, pulling out a gas can.

JR:"A gas can? What does he..."

JR's question is interupted by Stephen raising the small item into view. It's a LIGHTER~!!

JR:"He's SICK! Someone stop this !"

Stephen starts pouring the gasoline around the outside of the casket, onto the lid, etc. As he makes his way around the casket, he stops and looks in at the prone body of Zack Malibu. He lifts the gas can again, as fans are loudly booing this act. Just as he's about to pour the gasoline into the casket, Zack kicks at him weakly, trying to deflect him from doing so. Zack kicks again as Stephen tries, and this time succeeds in knocking the gas can out of his hand. Stephen turns to recover his item, and Zack rolls onto the apron, picking himself up and looking wild-eyed and maniacal. He stands perched on the apron, and when Stephen turns back to the casket, he's met with the APRON RUN DIVING CLOTHESLINE~!

JR:"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!"

Zack has a sudden burst of adrenaline, as he starts HAMMERING ON Stephen Joseph, angered by the fact that he tried to burn him alive! Zack gets off him, and picks up the gas can, motioning for Stephen Joseph to come at him. Stephen gets up, and Zack tosses a shot of the liquid into Stephen's eyes, blinding him! Stephen reels back, rubbing his eyes in hopes to see, but Zack steps back and then flies forward with SCHOOL'S OUT~!

JR:"Get him Zack! End this right now!"

Zack picks up Stephen Joseph, and hurls him into the ring, rolling him across the canvas. Zack then starts poking around under the ring again, and pulls out a table from beneath the ring!

Jesse:"Don't we have any storage space BACKSTAGE?"

Zack slides the table in, and sets it up in center ring. He stands over Stephen, who is all but dead on the mat. Zack reaches down and picks him up, then drapes him across the table. Malibu then turns his attention to the ladder, which he's trying to lift up.

Jesse:"He could have had this won by now, but no, he's got to show off, doesn't he?"

JR:"No, he's got to end this. He's putting an exclamation point on this feud, once and for all."

Zack tries lifting the ladder up onto the forklift blades, which are risen over the ropes. After some struggling, he finally does so, but is clubbed from behind by Stephen Joseph, who has somehow managed to pull himself off the table and onto his feet.

Jesse:"See that, now Stephen's got his second wind going for him. Say goodbye to Zacky boy, JR."

Stephen throws Zack onto the table, and then climbs up on it himself. Wiping the blood, gasoline, sweat and hair off his face, he looks down on Zack, and then looks up, as if to receive some type of guidance from above. Stephen then reaches down and pulls Zack up, into Fallen Angel position...AND GETS BACKDROPPED OFF THE TABLE ONTO THE GLASS SHRAPNEL FROM EARLIER~!

JR:"Eat those words, Jess!"

Jesse:"NOOOO!"

Stephen doesn't even have the strength to howl in pain, as this has finally done him in, seemingly. Malibu literally falls off the table, he too spent from this war. Finally, after a minute or so, he stands up and walks over to Stephen, and picks him up. The cameras get a shot of Stephen Joseph as he's pulled off the mat, the blood running down his back like a stream. Zack quickly pulls him into a front facelock, and tries for the POP DROP~!...NO! Stephen Joseph pushes forward, ramming Zack backfirst into the corner! As Zack stumbles out, Stephen Joseph reaches up with what may be his last wind, and takes Zack up, then DRILLS HIM INTO THE MAT WITH SYNCHRONICITY~!

Jesse:"DID YOU SEE HIS HEAD BOUNCE OFF THE MAT, JR!?"

JR:"I did...I did."

Zack lay face down on the mat, as the man we once knew as Big Poppa Popick stands above him, striking a crucifix pose and basking in a feeling of glory and victory. He scoops Zack up, picking him up over his shoulder, and walks to the ropes, where the casket sits a few feet below. Stephen tries to dump Zack into the casket, but Malibu reaches out and grabs the ropes, blocking himself from being tossed down into the match ending device. Stephen knocks his hands away, but Zack shifts his weight, falling behind Stephen Joseph, then spinning him around...POP DROP ON STEPHEN JOSEPH~! POP DROP~!!!!!

JR:"Did YOU see HIS head bounce off the mat, Jess?"

Jesse:"..."

Zack and Stephen lay next to each other, both men having seen better days. After a few moments of rest, Zack stands up, and now he looks down at Stephen Joseph...and strikes his OWN Crucifix Pose, to the delight of the fans! Malibu then turns away from Stephen, and steps through the ropes, coming around the corner to near where the casket it.

JR:"Zack preparing that casket...no...wait!"

Zack Malibu reaches down and picks up the can of gasoline, as well as the lighter!

Jesse:"Security! Stop this criminal!"

Zack enters the ring and stands above Stephen Joseph, who has been put into dreamland thanks to the effects of the POP Drop by Malibu. Zack raises the canister up, showing it off to the fans, who are behind him every step of the way in this bloodbath. He tips the canister, and douses Stephen and then the wooden table, with gasoline!

Jesse:"Are you telling me you condone this, JR!?"

JR:"Hell, all I can say is that irony is a cruel mistress, Jess!"

Shockingly enough, he doesn't light it, however, and instead just stares at his arch enemy, laying unconscious on the wooden prop.

Zack then heads over to the forklift, and grabs one of the blades, pulling himself up onto it, though there isn't much room with a ladder there. So Zack starts CLIMBING THE LADDER~?!?!?!?

JR:"Aw hell no...HELL NO..."

Jesse:"He's SICK JR, SICK!"

Zack looks down, and then raises his hand up to the crowd...HE'S STILL HOLDING THE LIGHTER~!

With a flick of his fingers, the flame comes up, and Zack drops the lighter some 15-20 below, right onto the table! THE TABLE GOES UP IN FLAMES, WITH STEPHEN JOSEPH ON IT...

and then it happens...

ZACK MALIBU DIVES OFF THE LADDER, 20 FEET IN THE AIR...GUILLOTINE LEGDROP THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE...LEGDROP THROUGH THE TABLE FROM THE LADDER~!

Both men crumble to the mat, as security quickly rushes the ring to extinguish any leftover pieces of shrapnel from the table. The fans are completely awestruck, mixing chants of "Zack" and "Holy Shit". Zack yells in pain, obviously the toll having been taken on him, as Stephen is still motionless.

After several minutes of laying there, and having security and road agents rush the ring to check on them, Zack stands up, and waves them all off. He drags Stephen Joseph across the ring, towards the casket. Zack drops down and rolls out under the bottom rope, and pulls Stephen by the leg, into the casket. Once he's there, Zack climbs back up on the apron, and looks out to the crowd, who are roaring for him and applauding. Zack reaches out with his right hand, gripping the top...

And shuts the lid!

Winner:Zack Malibu (put Stephen Joseph into casket in 25:47)

A weakened Zack falls onto the apron, his body hanging over the closed casket, as "Bring Me To Life" begins to play. Suddenly, we see Shooter Jay, HeldDOWN~! GM Tim Moysey, CWM, Foshi, and countless other faces rushing the ring. Jay and Foshi pull Zack off the apron, giving him support to stand up, while Tim retrieves the OAOAST World Title for Zack, and carries it over to him. The faces help Zack up the aisle, and midway up the ramp, they stop, as Zack takes the title and raises it up high, as the fans rise to their feet, giving the man a standing ovation.

JR:"Stephen Joseph put Zack Malibu through hell, but Zack made his way out of it. It seems that the Trinity has failed their mission, Jess."

Jesse:"I still can't believe what I just saw, JR!"

JR:"Zack said that one of them would have to be close to death tonight...and BOTH of them were. However, the book, or the casket as it were, is now shut on this rivalry, for good! Folks, we thank you for tuning in tonight, and remember, OAOAST action returns to PPV next month! Until then, I'm Jim Ross, alongside Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Michael Cole and The Coach were your hosts for the HeldDOWN portions of this event, and on behalf of all of us, thank you and good night!"

[Chanel #99]

DA CREDITS~!

Because He Runs Everything, This OaOasT Produced by:

Big Poppa Popick

Salute your Ring Leaders! Associate Producers:

Zack Malibu

Tony the Body

Fireworks Display Artists:

LaParkaYourCar

SpiderPoet

Big Poppa Popick

Anthems Sung and Performed:

(In No Particular Order)

Jailbait

LaParkaYourCar

K-Money

Rando!

SpiderPoet

CobainWasMurdered

Tony the Body

Zack Malibu

EvenflowDDT!

Dangerous A

ShooterJay

CanadianChick aka Crystal!

BrocKK AuSStin

Superstar~!

SomeGuy

Puerto Rican Lightning!

All those Dream Machines (but mainly GOOD OLE KINGPK!!!)

and these Anthems brought to you by

The RIAA! and

Totally Endorsed!

The Following Was an OaOasT Fantasy Production, not for resale, plagarism, or attempted fakery of said fakeness. Any infringement on this is punishable by watching "The Best of John Tenta" on VHS for 6 months to a year...

CopyRight, OaOasT 2003

OaOasT Productions

Have a patriotic 4th of July!