Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV 14 L, VPRESENTED IN HDAcross a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight.THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! The show opens with a few of the OAOAST Superstars sharing their New Year's resolutions.BIFF ATLAS My New Year's Resolution... to make it to see 2010. *crosses fingers and prays* ------MARV My New Years Resolution...man, its to party my ass off, score as many hot chicks as I can, and get the tag titles back over shoulder of my and my brother from the same mother.MEL MEL YEAH! ------UNO The only News Years Resolution Dos and I have made is what our night mother has given us; to spread the black hand's cancer through the OAOAST, and to bring a crippling death blow of hatred, misery and suffering to anyone who doesn't give their undivided loyalty to our queen of the damned. ------JADE My New Year's Resolution... uhm... well, it's... I hadn't really though about it, actually... sorry... uhhh... give... give me a minute and I'll try and think of one... ------THEODORE MONEYMAKER When you're a man who has everything you don't need a New Year's resolution. BWAHAHA! ------SIMON We don't have everything, but Theodore Moneymaker has something we want.NED His head on a silver platter. That's our New Year's resolution.SIMON Violent as it is. ------JADE ...hmm... ooh, I don't know... well, there's to lose some wei... no, wait, Mom wouldn't like me saying that... hold on, I'll... New Year's Resolution, New Year's Resolution... hehe, sorry about this, improv isn't really my thing... ------BLONDE My New Year's Resolution is to set ALL the trends that matter this year. That and make Landon proud, of course! Go Internacional! ------SPENCER REIGER Do you know what my New Year's Resolution is? To take a gigantic wad of spit and hurl right at the camera *SPIT* Mission accomplished. Who says no one ever keeps their resolutions? ------TIM CASH The New Years Resolution I've made is a promise to our great fans to continue fighting to bring back honor, sportsmanship, integrity and class to the OAOAST. Times may seem tough and the outlook may be bleak around here. But you can count on me to always work for the side of good! ------JADE Uhhh... well, I guess... to have more fun? Is that okay? ------MR. DICK My New Year's resolution is the same as it is every year -- to be the biggest dick that there is.MALAYSIA (staring at MD's crotch) Mmm, and it is big. ------MARIACHI Our New Year’s resolution is to be gayer!MORACCA And by gayer we mean happier.MARIACHI/MORACCA ------LEON Well, it's pretty simple. Some people give up drink, some people give up cigarettes. Me? Nerdlys! Leon slaps a nicotine patch on his arm with the word 'NERDLY' written on it.LEON I used to be a 40 a day man you know. ROLL VT!NEW YEAR'S SPECTACULAR '09 An instrumental version of "Auld Lang Syne" plays as we head inside the Palace of Auburn Hills where 20,000+ OAOAST Marks have converged this New Year's night.BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"OAOAST LIVE! Detroit, Michigan Over at Sofa Central, Coach sports a suit and tie while Michael Cole is in full tuxedo and wearing a party hat. COLE 83 days away from AngleMania VIII and 24 till Anglepalooza, the OAOAST welcomes you to its first event of the new year. And on behalf of everyone here in the OAOAST, Happy New Year! Michael Cole and Da Coach with you for our 3nd annual New Year's Spectacular, where 4 titles are on the line tonight. COACH We've got Alfdogg defending the U.S. title against Todd Cortez, the Women's belt up for grabs in an 8 person gauntlet match, Team Heyross and Brock Ausstin challenging Cucaracha Internacional for the 6-man gold, and then Leon Rodez's first televised title defense. This is in addition to 2 first round Anderson Cup bouts and the one I'd really looking forward to, the Dildo on a Pole -- yes, you heard me right -- match between Krista Isadora Duncan and Malaysia. Unzip your pants for that! COLE Enough talk, it's time for action! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Oh No by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoahe Monche hits, and Todd Cortez makes his way through the curtains. COLE And here comes Todd Cortez, as he gets one more crack at Alfdogg's United States title! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFERThe following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST United States championship! If the champion is disqualified or counted out, the championship WILL change hands! Introducing first, the challenger, hailing from Hollywood Boulevard, weighing in at 226 pounds...representing Cucaracha Internacional, he is the URBAN LEGEND, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! COLE And you can see Cortez limping noticeably as a result of that heinous attack by the Deadly Alliance two weeks ago, Sandman bringing out a PORCUPINE to attack Cortez's knee! Josie Baker told Cortez he could have a rematch if he was up to it tonight, and here he is! Cortez waits in the ring, as Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg makes his way through the curtains. BUFFERHis opponent...weighing in at 237 pounds...he is the leader of the Deadly Alliance, and the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST United States champion...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!! Alf rolls into the ring and raises his belt in the air, drawing boos. The referee checks Cortez, then checks Alf, who then gives the referee his belt. The referee raises Alf's belt in the air, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Alf and Cortez circle the ring, then tie up. Alf takes Cortez down in a side headlock, but Cortez quickly grabs Alf in a headscissors. Alf kips up to escape, then taunts Cortez. COLE Some wrestling here to start us off! COACH Well, I think if it comes down to a wrestling match, you'd have to give the advantage to Alf! COLE And remember, if Alf is disqualified or counted out here, he loses the title! The two tie up once again, and this time Cortez goes behind, then takes Alf down by the legs, and starts to grind his face into the mat! Alf gets to his feet and goes after Cortez, who catches him with an armdrag! Alf rolls to the outside to regroup! COLE Alf frustrated over that last sequence! Alf slides back into the ring, and goes in to tie up, but delivers a thumb to the eye instead. He then wrings the arm, and takes Cortez down to the mat, switching to a standing wristlock. Alf then lightly kicks Cortez in the head a couple times. COACH And that's insult to injury right there, Cole! Cortez fights his way to his feet, then backs Alf into the ropes and whips him across. Alf takes down Cortez with a shouldercheck, then hops over him. Cortez leapfrogs Alf, then catches him with a monkeyflip! Cortez gets to his feet, and clotheslines Alf to the floor! COLE And Alf to the outside once again! Cortez follows Alf out, then grabs him and tosses him back inside. Cortez follows Alf in, then takes him down from behind with a neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez then catches Alf with an armdrag, then bars the arm. Alf works his way to his feet, then backs Cortez into the ropes and shoves him across. Cortez ducks a clothesline, then catches Alf with a crucifix! 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez sets up Alf for an Irish whip, but Alf reverses. Alf drops down, then leapfrogs Cortez, before catching him with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK~! COLE Big kick from Alf! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf stomps away on Cortez, until Cortez rolls to the outside. Alf follows Cortez outside, then scoops him up, and rams his lower back into the ringpost! COLE Cortez back-first into the post! Alf rolls Cortez back inside, then whips him into the ropes, and catches him in a sleeper! COLE Submission hold applied! Alf positions Cortez in mid-ring, and Cortez slowly fades. The referee checks the arm... 1!!! 2!!! ...but Cortez holds through! Cortez pulls himself up, then delivers an elbow to the gut! And another! And a third! Alf releases the hold, then Cortez runs to the ropes. Alf drops down, then comes up and catches Cortez in a AA SPINEBUSTER~! COACH Yeah! COLE Beautiful recovery by Alf! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But Cortez not out of it yet! Alf backs Cortez into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf attempts an Irish whip, but Cortez reverses. Alf hops to the second rope, and comes off with a bodypress...but Cortez rolls through! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! COLE And Cortez almost able to sneak out of here with the title! Alf gets to his feet first, then catches Cortez with another CHOP~!, knocking Cortez right back down to the mat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf scoops up Cortez, but Cortez slips behind, and goes for a slam of his own, but Alf falls on top! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE I think Cortez's knee may have given out on him on that slam attempt! Alf goes to the floor with the momentum, but quickly climbs back onto the apron. Cortez tries to suplex him back inside, but Alf floats over, then executes a GERMAN SUPLEX~! 1... 2... Kickout! COACH Almost! COLE VERY close call there! Alf executes a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf complains to the referee about the count, which gets him nowhere. He then attempts a suplex...but Cortez counters into a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Another close one for Cortez! Alf delivers another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then attempts an Irish whip, but Cortez reverses. Cortez attempts a tilt-a-whirl, but Alf spins through to his feet, then scoops up Cortez, and plants him with a TOMBSTONE~! COLE Tombstone piledriver! COACH That is IT! Alf makes his way over to the corner, and starts his climb. COACH No, THIS is it! Alf gets his balance, and attempts the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111...but Cortez rolls out of the way! COLE But nobody home! With both men down, the referee begins a count. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! Cortez sits up, then turns to his side, then Alf does the same. Alf goes after Cortez...but gets caught in the CROTCH DROPPAH~! COLE Cortez with that inverted atomic drop! Cortez backs into the ropes, and floors Alf with a clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez follows with an STO~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Cortez picks Alf up, and delivers a foot to the gut, then follows with the URBAN ASSAULT~! COLE The Urban Assault! That could do it! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE WOW! How close was that! Alf tries to crawl to the outside, but Cortez grabs him by his foot. Alf pulls himself up by the ropes, then floors Cortez with an ENZIGURI~! COACH What a move! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Cortez gets the shoulder up! Alf then picks up Cortez in an atomic drop, then sets him up on the top rope, pulling him back into a tree of woe! COLE And that injured knee of Cortez hung up in the ropes! Alf kicks away at Cortez as the referee lays a count on, then backs off. Alf lets the referee free Cortez, while taunting the crowd, to their negative reaction. Once Cortez is free, Alf moves in, taking him over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE Alf setting up the big kill! Alf follows up with a T-BONE~!!, then rolls through to the legs of Cortez, and hooks him in a FIGURE-FOUR~! COLE And a figure-four locked in by Alf! Cortez holds his face in his hands, as Alf locks in the hold. COACH Cortez has got to give it up here, I think! His career could be at stake! Cortez lays on his back. 1... 2... Cortez springs up, then lifts his right arm in the air and spins it around, as the crowd gets on his side! COLE And Cortez could be trying to reverse this, Coach! Cortez lets out a yell, as he turns the hold over! COLE And the hold is reversed! Alf gets to the ropes, then turns the hold back over, using the ropes for leverage until the referee's count reaches four, at which point he breaks. Cortez moves to a corner, where Alf continues to work on the knee, then picks Cortez up...but Cortez lands an ENZIGURI~! COLE And Cortez with an enziguri now! Cortez lays on the mat for a few seconds, then pulls himself up, and whips Alf hard into the corner! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Alf gets the shoulder up! Cortez picks up Alf, and executes a Russian legsweep, followed by a legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Cortez gets up and waits on Alf, then delivers the SITOUT SPINEBUSTER~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE Cortez coming so close! You get the feeling that one more big move could put Alf away! COACH Come on, Alf! Cortez picks Alf up, and delivers a CROTCH-DROPPAH~!, followed by the HOLLOW POINT~! COLE And that could be it! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COACH And now you've got to give some credit to Alf here, taking some of the best moves of Todd Cortez and still fighting! COLE Absolutely, that's why he's a former two-time World champion, and the reigning US champion! Cortez hammers away on Alf, who takes a big swing, which Cortez ducks, and hooks him in a sleeper! However, Alf gets to the ropes, and as the referee attempts to break the hold, kicks him leg up between the legs of Cortez! COLE And a low blow by Alf! The referee didn't see it! Alf turns to Cortez, and hooks him in the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE And now Alf with the Sharpshooter! Cortez is in tremendous pain, but fights his way over, and reaches the ropes! COLE And Cortez to the ropes! What a match! Alf hammers away on Cortez in the corner, then picks him up and sets him on the top. Alf starts to follow him up, but Cortez counters with right hands, then grabs him in a front facelock, and lifts him in a suplex, dropping him face-first to the mat! COLE Alf going face-first right down to the mat! As Alf tries to get to his feet, Cortez slides down, jumps on Alf's head...and executes the RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!!!11111 COACH Oh no! COLE He got it! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE NEW CHAMPION!!! COACH Damn it! BUFFERLadies and gentlemen...the winner of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWW OAOAST United States champion...TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! COLE Todd Cortez has done it! Injured knee and all, Todd Cortez has kicked off the new year as the NEW United States champion! The referee presents Cortez the belt, and Cortez raises it high in the air, to the delight of the fans, while still hobbling on his bad knee. COLE The first singles title for Todd Cortez in the OAOAST! And you wonder if this will raise the respect level of Todd Cortez within Landon's stable! COACH I can't believe this. COLE Well, you better believe it, because it's official, Todd Cortez is the new OAOAST United States champion! And we'll be back with more as the New Year's Spectacular continues after this.New Year's SpectacularA RIVALRY RENEWEDThe Heavenly Rockers vs. Beverly Hills BlondsFIRST ROUND ANDERSON CUP ACTION NEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 In rare non-COD duty, Terry Taylor is alongside the Heavenly Rockers and Colonel Abdullah Nerdly at the backstage interview area. TAYLOR Moments away from their Anderson Cup bout, I’m joined by the #7 seed in Los Infernales Conference and 2006 Anderson Cup champions, the Heavenly Rockers, accompanied by their promoter Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. ABDULLAH Brother Rooster, are you not apart of the Anderson Cup tournament committee? TAYLOR Well, I was until this year when the OAOAST went to a computerized system. SYNTH/LOGAN ABDULLAH Computerized system?! That certainly explains our bogus ranking. Does the OAOAST not know computers are the tool of the devil? Computers direct bombs to kill my brothers and sisters, corrupt our youth with online pornography and ruin college football! But a computer will NOT determine the fate of the Heavenly Rockers. LOGAN We sent the Beverly Hills Blonds packing with their tail between their legs the last time we met and I see no reason why we won‘t do it again. As far as I’m concerned, it’s gonna be second verse same as the first sayeth the Macho MACHO Mann! SYNTH Ain’t nobody can say it any better than dat, son. All that’s left to do is kick ass and put on one helluva show in the process. Praise be and shit! THR and Abdullah exit. TAYLOR That does it from here. Let’s go to my colleague Tony Brannigan with the Beverly Hills Blonds. We catch up with the OAOAST Original and the BHB in the locker room. BRANNIGAN Simon, Ned, in just a few short minutes you’ll be renewing your bitter rivalry with the Heavenly Rockers. But I want to ask you about an incident that occurred 3 weeks ago where under the orders of your former employer, Theodore Moneymaker, you were viciously assaulted by V.I.C.E.OAOAST FLASHBACK HeldDOWN~! December 10, 2008DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and CPA blindside the BHB. Theodore Moneymaker’s hired guns do a number on their former associates. CPA with his bare hands, Bosley with his telescopic nightstick. Then to everyone’s surprise, Molly jumps on the back of CPA. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" It’s not long before Molly finds herself on her back. Detective Bosley ready to strike until Moneymaker orders him to halt. He summons the Alpha Male of the Group and whispers something that makes him a very happy boy. Molly pleads for mercy as CPA drags her over to Theodore by the hair. Face to face with her former employer Molly is forced to bow in servitude and kiss the ring of Theodore Moneymaker, as are the unconscious Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. Moneymaker produces a pair of documents and stuffs them down the throat of the BHB. Adding insult to injury Detective Bosley impounds the Siclopse. MOLLY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! THEODORE BRANNIGAN As if that wasn’t bad enough, Moneymaker then stuffed a pair of documents down your throats! Just what were the contents of said documents? NED Wow, you don’t beat around the bush, do you Tony? I admire that, and you aren’t the only inquiring mind. It seems old moneybags is claiming to own the rights to the Beverly Hills Blonds name, despite the fact it was our creation. SIMON See, Tony, Teddy is your typical billionaire. When he can’t buy what he wants, he goes out and tries to take it no matter the consequences. It’s why you’ve seen Ned and I come to the aid of Baron Windels the past few weeks. We know Teddy operates under the motto “strength in numbers.” If you go back and check, you’ll notice the only people to have success against him had backup. Now anybody who gets in a pickle with Teddy we’ll have us as backup! You want us to cease and desist using the BHB name, Teddy? Beat us for it. I don’t mean with sneak attacks or in the courts, but inside the squared circle. Let the ring be our judge, jury and executioner. But if we beat you, then you gotta return the Siclopse. NED And kiss our ass! SIMON NED Figuratively speaking because I wouldn’t want his lips touching my ass, but I‘d sure love to shove my boot so far up his sorry ass he‘d floss using my laces! SIMON BWAHAHA! Settle the score like a man for once in your life, Teddy. Leave the money and courts behind and fight for what you want. Something we proved by leaving your Enterprise. BRANNIGAN What about the Heavenly Rockers, gentlemen? NED Hey, they like to talk about what they did to us the last time we met. What they fail to mention is the numerous times we beat their ass down before they finally got a W. Yeah, it’s gonna be second verse same as the first, but for you a whole lot worse. The BHB exit. BRANNIGAN What a battle this should be. I can’t wait. Guys, let’s head back out to you.HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! The stage lit by multicolored spotlights, Colonel Abdullah Nerdly leads out the Heavenly Rockers to the tune of “Heart-Shaped Box“ by Nirvana. BUFFER The following contest is a first round Anderson Cup bout! Introducing first, COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Here they come, Cole, one of three teams attempting to become two-time Anderson Cup champions, and minus Holly by the looks of it. COLE Indeed you’re right. The Angel of Death involved later tonight in the New York Knockout Gauntlet. COACH That’d explain her absence. She's probably backstage preparing for it. It’ll be interesting to see whether Molly Nerdly accompanies the Beverly Hills Blonds since she's also involved in that match, although she wouldn’t be too big a loss. COLE Logan taunts OAOAST Marks ringside as Synth and Abdullah hold a prayer session that’s interrupted by the music of Lupe Fiasco.If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah BUFFER And their opponents, ranked #2 in Los Infernales Conference… “BOX-OFFICE” SIMON SINGLETON and “THE HANDSOME HUSTLER” NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Like their arch-rivals, the Beverly Hills Blonds too are without their female companion, walking the red carpet with only their clapboard. COLE Coach, you wondered if Molly would accompany the Blonds and there’s your answer. COACH I’m even more worried for the Heavenly Rockers now. Molly is the Jessica Simpson of the OAOAST. Her men perform badly when she’s present. It’s no coincidence the BHB never regained the tag titles once they kicked Lorelei DeCenzo to the curb in favor of Molly. COLE That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard this year! COACH What’s ridiculous is the BHB blaming Teddy for their stupid decision, and whining about a camera that‘s the rightful property of the Enterprise. Let’s not forget using the BHB name without the expressed written consent of the E! The Heavenly Rockers don’t allow the BHB to enter the ring peacefully, pouncing on them the moment they step through the ropes. * DINGDINGDING * COLE And this one’s already underway! COACH We shouldn’t have expected anything different from these two teams, Cole. Hate doesn’t even begin to describe this longtime rivalry. Down early the BHB fight back to take control. They whip THR into the ropes for a pair of baaaaack body drops, and then clothesline them over the top rope! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The Colonel reorganizes his men and sends them back for battle, but the BHB are ready, executing stereo hip tosses. Synth rolls outside and Simon wipes him out with a SLINGSHOT CROSSBODY as Ned covers Logan! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Unimaginable a couple years ago, Logan begs off, offering Ned his hand in a symbolic gesture. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As the OAOAST Marks urge Ned not to shake Logan’s hand, the Macho Macho Mann swears he’s being sincere, crossing his heart and all. But the Handsome Hustler is no fool. He’s a former rule breaker who knows all the dirty tricks in the book, which is why he accepts Logan’s gesture, then ducks a WICKED LEFT HOOK~! and delivers an atomic drop that sends Mann crashing into Synth! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Logan staggers back towards mid-ring and a DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK by the BHB! Abdullah hops on the apron to protest the double-teaming and Simon dropkicks him off! COACH Where’s the ACLU when you need them? Simon Singleton just violated the Colonel’s first amendment rights. Cover made. ONE! TWO! NO! The Handsome Hustler is raked across the eyes by Synth, leading to a Heavenly Rockers tag and double-team as they put the boots to him while Simon is restrained by the referee. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Forget the ACLU. Where’s the damn ref? COACH Doing his job and a fine one at that. It’s not his fault Simon is just another dumb blond. Synth brings Ned to his feet and presents him with a GIFT FROM ALLAH, head butting him with his goggles on, followed by a vertical suplex. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! SAB stomps Blanchard on the side of the face, then heads up top, pausing to praise the heavens. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" He then struggles to maintain his balance as Simon begins to shake the top rope, causing him to lose his balance and CROTCH himself on the turnbuckle! SYNTH "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Blanchard rolls to the corner and tags out. Simon quick to unload with a series of stinging overhand chops on SAB, then a preemptive strike on Logan for good measure before hitting a SUPERPLEX ON SYNTH!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Logan recovers to make the save. Scoop and a slam, which Simon capitalizes on with a FLYING ELBOWDROP! Simon hooks the leg. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The BHB tag and perform their trademark drop toehold/pointy elbow combo. This leads to another fast tag and the launch of THE ATOMIC BLOND…BUT SYNTH GETS THE KNEES UP!!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COACH The Blonds went for it all and it just may well cost them the match, Mikey Cole. They were in control but got greedy. THR tag and Simon gets decked by a back elbow, then a jumping knee drop. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Introduced violently to the buckle, Singleton is then pounded by an array of short left jabs to the face and body. But Logan makes the mistake of paint brushing the BHB and has the tables turned on him. * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Logan reverses a whip and, upon hitting the ropes, Simon is nailed with a knee to the back from Synth, and then a running sledgehammer by Logan that knocks him outside. COLE The referee better keep a close eye on Simon. He’s in no man’s land. COACH Like they Heavenly Rockers would do anything illegal. Just as Coach finishes his sentence Colonel Abdullah thumps Simon with his shoe. Again. And again. COLE You were saying, Coach? COACH Obviously Simon must’ve uttered a racial slur. COLE :stupid: Tossed back in by Abdullah, Simon is the recipient of a SWINGING NECKBREAKER by the new legal man, Synth Abdul-Jabbar. “SIMON!” “SIMON!” “SIMON!” Ned whips up support for his partner, but it doesn’t prevent the PILEDRIVER that ensues. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY NED! Abdullah screams over at Ned who responds with a single gesture, or rather a single FINGER. ABDULLAH :firedevil: Blanchard’s act earns him the wrath of SAB. * WHAP * NED A slap to face baits Ned inside, giving THR the opportunity to finish Simon off with DOUBLE PERCUSSION…BUT A PAIR OF LOW BLOWS STOPS THAT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh, my! COACH What a blatant disregard for the rules, Cole. Not to mention a sheer act of desperation. Had the referee been doing his job he would’ve seen that and disqualified the Blonds on the spot. COLE But earlier on you said the official was doing a fine job. COACH I never said that. COLE We’ve got you on tape! COACH Well there’s your problem right there. Don’t you know everything’s digital now? The “SIMON” chants ring throughout once again as B.O.S.S. seeks to make the all important tag. He crawls towards Ned looking back every so often to check the status of THR, both just starting to stir. ABDULLAH (to THR) Get up! Get up! Synth does as Simon lunges forward and makes the tag! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE What an ovation! COACH I can barely hear myself think, Cole. You’d think the Lions just won single game. Blanchard comes in kicking ass, leveling the Heavenly Rockers on numerous occasions. DOUBLE COCONUT knocks THR into next year, with Logan falling out to the floor and Synth into the arms of Ned Blanchard and a STUN GUN! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Abdullah pulls the referee outside, and then he gets yanked onto the apron for a face to face with Ned. The Colonel does his best lawyer’s plea to no avail. Ned prepared to wish him a Happy New Year in his own special way, until he hears footsteps and moves aside. A head-on collision with Abdullah a certainty, divine intervention sets in and Synth is able to put on the brakes. Disaster averted the two men share a hug and kiss on both cheeks. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ned interrupts and it’s… …KICK, WHAM, SLINGSHOT SU… NO! SAB floats over and holds Ned in place for the Colonel. COLE What’s going on here? Abdullah opens a small bag and THROWS POWDER INTO THE EYES OF SYNTH! COACH Oh, no! COLE Ned ducked! Blanchard grabs the CLAPBOARD in the BHB corner and WALLOPS Synth, which goes unnoticed by the official who also got hit with some of the powder, blinding him momentarily! COACH Wait a minute. The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, advancing onto the second round of the Anderson Cup… THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Simon and Ned embrace outside, raising their arms in victory. COACH The Blonds aren’t winners, they’re cheaters! COLE Simon and Ned resorting to some of their old tricks to move onto the next week. COACH But they cheated! Didn’t you hear me? COLE Not with this great crowd on hand. Stay with us fans. We'll be back.New Year's SpectacularWill Continue... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 COLE: And we’re BACK from break and- The Arena goes DARK – violins begin, with white and blue lights pulsing in time with them. Remember the Name by Fort Minor. COACH – Shit this is hot- The song kicks in and there’s suddenly a PERSON on the stage. Tall, lean, dressed in a tailored suit with a red silk tie. Short hair and sunglasses. COLE: Who the hell is that, C? COACH: I don’t know. And never call me C again. The stranger strides confidently down the aisle and easily slips through the ropes. He paces the ring. There’s something about his demeanor. Something dangerous. Like a lion in a cage that it knows it can get out of anytime It wants. The music dies. The stranger takes the mic from some random ring vixen. He nods at her, causing her to smile big and lick her lips. He smiles and turns to the inside of the ring. STRANGER: Hule Bartowski. COLE: What? COACH: Sounds like a name, Cole. STRANGER: That’s my name. It’s the name my momma gave me anyways. But let me ask you: what’s in a name? A name identifies you. People hear it and they instantly have things to think about you. It’s a label. Well you don’t know me, but I just signed an excluive contract with the OAOAST friends. Let me tell you what that means: there’s a new lion in town. COLE: A new Superstar! COACH: Fereal, Cole. And kid looks like he’s here to throw it down. The crowd buzzes a bit, but is unsure how to respond. STRANGER: See, there is no label for me. There’s just a clean slate! Well let me start the process of definition for you. And this isn’t just for the fans, this is for every man in the locker room! You can just call me The Name. I’m going to be THE NAME from now on. The first name you think of when you think of this company, the name of the guy that you face next, the name of the guy that just BEAT YOU. And come hell or high water, I’m gonna be the Name on the belt. I’m talking whatever belt I get near. There’s nowhere to go but up so every damn belt in this place is a target. Starting NOW. I’m the last Name you need to know. COACH: Hell yeah, I like this guy. The Name just dropped a warning to every title holder in the building! A VOICE comes over the SPEAKERS: Whoa, whoa, whoa! LUNAR PHOENIX emerges at the top of the ramp! The crowd BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSS!!! COLE: Phoenix! And what an unforgiving crowd! COACH: The hell? PHOENIX: Who the hell do you think you are? Listen, kid. It takes an admirable pair to come out here and assert yourself, but I crap more superstar power than your entire career could dream of. COLE: That sounds… painful. PHOENIX: So why don’t you just leave the ring and go to some weekend show and work on your elbow drop, okay? Phoenix laughs, but the crowd doesn’t follow along. Instead, they BOOOO louder! NAME: James Cone. Let me think… oh, yeah, that’s right – a promising has-been that’s wasted his comeback with ego. From what I’ve seen, brother, you need to head to the indies and work off some ring rust. COLE: Snap! The crowd LOVES IT! All that negative energy turns POSITIVE with a huge CHEER! Phoenix is FURIOUS. PHOENIX: You want to play in the big leagues, you got it! He THROWS THE MIC DOWN and SPRINTS for the ring! COACH: Shit! Here we go! By the time Phoenix SLIDES IN, Name has lost his coat. He LEAPS over Phoenix’s still sliding form and is off the ropes by the time Phoenix is on his feet. BOOM! FLYING FOREARM OFF THE ROPES! Phoenix is down, sunned. He’s quick to get back to his feet, however, and NAME is waiting by the ropes. STAREDOWN~! Phoenix darts in, gets a few RIGHT HANDS in, but Name shrugs it and WHIPS HIM! On the rebound, Phoenix takes a huge CODEBREAKER! He springs back up and goes WILD over the ROPES to the OUSIDE! Name is up, watching and waiting. Outside, Phoenix gets to unsteady feet. He wants none of it. He heads back for the ramp, yelling lots of unsavory things as he goes. In the ring, NAME just watches, a hungry grin on his face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Blue spotlights move in a speedy horizontal pattern as “Makes Me Wonder” plays to a rocking accompaniment of overjoyed cheers. Thousands of Detroiters come out of their (overpriced) seats to welcome one of their very own, Tyler Bryant. The hometown reception isn’t lost on Tyler, and he explodes through the entrance doors with incredible energy. Down goes his denim jacket, cast to the steel floor, and up go his arms in salute to his native city. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of thirty minutes! Now making his way to the ring, weighing in at one hundred and ninety six pounds, he hails from right here in Auburn Hills, Michigan, he is Tremendous Tyler Bryant! The ovation from the sold out audience grows even greater, as Tyler happily slaps hands with those who have come to give him their love and support. COLE This match is so personal. So personal. Mister Dick has needlessly attacked Tyler with cheap shots, insulted him, targeted his personal hero in Krista, and tried to keep his best friend from making his long awaited return to the OAOAST. COACH Bad things happen when good men do nothing. Good men were doing nothing and a bad thing like Tyler Bryant being employed by the OAOAST continued to happen. First PRL, then Brave, and now Bryant? Damn, you think if I drop some hints, Mister Dick’ll take a bus and back it over the Love Doctors? Tyler dives into the ring, and leaps to his feet to offer one final nod to a roaring and approving audience. COLE Can you imagine how much it would mean to Tyler if he could beat Mister Dick here in the arena he grew up watching live wrestling events at? COACH It’d be like the Tooth Fairy leaving some delicious crack rock under your pillow, you may dream about it, you may even rip out some of yo teef stick em underneath yo pillow and pray, but in the end it just ain’t gonna happen. You stuck smoking that section 8 crack! COLE I’m quite fond of section 8 crack. Folks, Tyler Bryant had a few things to say about his match with Mister Dick. Let’s take a listen.TYLER Mister Dick, I’m an easy going type of guy. In a sport full of hot heads, I’m the one guy you can look too to have a mellow attitude. That is until you came along. You hurt my best friend, you've threaten my former manager and good friend, and you've hounded my idol. That means I'm here to give you a Detroit style beatdown! COLE Very tough talk from Tyler Bryant. I see he's taking Krista's advice to heart!I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride! I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls!Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer The All American Dick receives the type of cross reaction one would expect from someone with his execrable rap sheet. The sizzling sparks of the golden pyro fall from the arena ceiling adding their own heat to the flaming one of the audience. Into this atmosphere emerges the Texas stud muffin, Mister Dick. He allows his bath robe to fall away from his broad shoulders where one of the stage hands quickly whisks it away. His dark tan skin holds a beautiful sheen from light body oil covering his entire body, serving to highlight the definition and tone of his hard muscles. He twirls around inside gold and white spotlights, showing himself as the poster boy for every underwear add you’ve ever seen. Thighs as thick and muscled as both of Tyler’s put together, not to mention arms as thick as tree-trunks as he held them above his head taunting crowd. When he slowly turns, it isn’t the definition of his tight "six-pack" stomach however, but the monster-sized prick between his legs that indeed stand out stiff, long and almost threatening. COLE I can’t believe you, the person so homophobic he can’t even keep his clothes in the closet, is an unabashed Mister Dick fan. COACH Every straight man is allowed one vaguely homosexual crush. This is written in the book of man laws. Listening to you, the library must’ve forgot to lend you a copy. Mister Dick slowly turns on his way down the ramp so that his legion of haters has an opportunity to add with penis envy to their list of reasons to despise him. BUFFER Now making his way to the ring from San Antonio, Texas, weighing in at two hundred thirty six pounds, representing the Deadly Alliance, he is the multi Angle Award winning MISTER DICK! The award winning Dick performs a graceful slide into the ring, nearly slicing through the legs of Tyler, who was lucky to be able to back up. With a perverse and lecherous eye on a young lady in the front row, the Human Hard On furiously plows his pork n beans into the ring mat. Bryant looks on disgusted and outraged, hardly able to keep himself from cheap shotting Mister Dick before the bell even rings. COLE Mister Dick had a great a night at the Angle Awards, but what kind of night will he have here, facing Tyler Bryant? DING DING DING! Immediately after the bell rings, an angered Bryant charges towards Mister Dick. But his fury and energy isn’t much of a match for the Human Hard On, and the former Texas A&M QB dsucks his rival into a headlock. The Tremendous one tries to pull himself free of MD’s muscular arms, but those powerful limbs are harsh jailers and refuse to release him. Tyler won’t give up on his quest and peppers MD’s side with piddling shots. Though annoying, they don’t do enough damage to the Cocky Prick to prevent him from flinging the former HI-YAH tag champ over with a headlock takeover. Bryant hits the ground hard, with force that should knock the wind out him. Yet he keeps himself sharp and composed and continues to try and fight out of Mister Dick’s arms. “MISTER PENCIL DICK! MISTER PENCIL DICK!” the fans chant, trying to throw MD off his game. They appear to have some success as Tyler is able to bring himself and his foe upright. Back onto his feet, Tyler finally manages to rid himself of The Cocky Prick with a hard shove into the ropes. But The Human Hard On rumbles back with his powerful leg raised for a Stiff Kick! Tyler ducks beneath the signature move and prepares to slash his rival with a spinning wheel kick. But before he can even get off the ground the ultra athletic Mister Dick knocks him over with a dropkick! “BOOOO!” hisses the audience as they watch the hated villain spit on the boybander. But rather than get mad like the audience, Tyler gets even, and douses Mister Dick in spittle! His eyes brimming with horror and outrage, MD looks downward to find that Bryant’s loogie has landed right on his favorite body part. “YEAAAA!” the audience screams, doing nothing to calm Mister Dick’s flaring anger. His rage causes him to blast Tyler in the neck with a boot as the boybander begins heading back to his feet. Struggling for breath, Bryant stumbles back into the corner where he uses the ring ropes to support himself. There’s no time to catch his breath though thanks to MD attempting to use his shiny metal dick to return the spit back into Bryant’s mouth. But Bryant uses the ropes slide himself out the way, and MD crashes cock first into the ring posts! COLE It should come as no surprise that Mister Dick missed that move, as he’s 0-8 on it when 70% or more of Baltimore fisherman catch crab the day before. COACH What galaxy did you pull that stat from? Thanks to his ever important steel cup, the Cocky Prick’s prick is able to avoid any serious damage. But the steel cup can’t prevent him from being brought down to the ground by a springboard lariat! “YEAH-UH!” Tyler shouts to his fanbase as he leaps to his feet. Mister Dick quickly follows him back up, but is brought back to the canvas by a crowd popping arm drag. He tries to scurry away, to put some distance between he and the teen idol, but Tyler shuts down his escape with an armlock. “LET’S GO TYLER! LET’S GO TYLER!” chants the sold out crowd, getting an appreciative nod from their fellow Detroiter. Unfortunately Tyler’s moment to acknowledge his people comes at a heavy cost, as it allows MD to find his way back upright. He snaps his arm free of Bryant’s hold and then batters his foe’s slender midsection with brutal kicks. COLE When Mister Dick throws at least thirty kicks in a match and wears trunks with red lettering he is 12-3 against wrestlers that way under 220 lbs but over 165 pounds. COACH Damn, son, you suckin real hard, now. You suckin Day The Earth Stood Still hard. COLE These are valid stats, my friend, part of the new OAOAST360 computer program designed by Melody Nerdly in conjunction ESPN! All the up to the minute in depth stats on your favorite stars. After weakening Tyler with enough stomps Mister Dick attempts to throw him towards the opposite end of the ring. But the Detroiter reverses the hold and sends his rival into the ropes. The Texan comes roaring back trying to flatten Tyler with a shoulder tackle. But Bryant succeeds in guiding his charging adversary onto his shoulders and then falls backwards to plant him onto the canvas with a samoan drop! COLE In games decided by three or less points in December, the Patriots are 7-0 when it snows with more than 8 minutes to go before halftime and the sum of the quarterback's and running back's numbers is less than 50, when such a situation occurs on an even dated Sunday when the moon is 3/4th regression, Tyler Bryant is able to get at least a two count off a Samoan drop. COACH My brain! I can’t feel my brain! Mister Dick hurries to a standing position, but all his haste does is cause him to be captured by a running snap stunner! Although it leaves him with horrific pain in his neck, he remains upright, woozy from the strike. This allows Tyler to bounce off the ropes and lacerate him with a diving lariat! As soon as Mister Dick hits the canvas, Bryant slides on top of him for a pinfall that’s scored by Charles Robinson ONE! TWO! Mister Dick pulls his shoulder off the mat. Now free of the pinfall, Mister Dick crawls towards the corner in order to use it as a base to catch his breath. Problematically, the adorable teen idol follows him in and begins cutting into his baby oiled skin. Tyler’s fast moving chops do quite a bit of damage to Mister Dick, but they come to a sudden close when the Human Hard On blasts him in his own mister dick with his cowboy boots. “BOOOOOO!” Detroit spews their venom at Mister Dick as their hometown hero falls over into the ropes, howling in agony. Robinson tries to warn MD against repeating that dirty play, but the Texan remarks that its not his fault Tyler hasn’t come as well equipped as he has. COACH Hehehehe. One of Detroit’s most eligible bachelor’s just got a lot less eligible. Now ignoring the continued admonishments of Robinson, Mister Dick grabs onto the back of Bryant’s head and throws him face first into the near by ring posts. The teenage girls in the audience shriek in panic over their crush’s possibly wounded face. Their object of affection almost topples over to the ground, but Mister Dick keeps him upright and launches him to the opposite corner. Tyler smacks into the ring posts, his back absorbing the brunt of an awful blow. MD smiles cruelly at the pain he’s inflicted, and then runs in with his arm raised into a lariat! But his approach is far too telegraphed, and this allows Tyler to kick up his sneakers and block his attack. While his friends and family applaud his counter, Tyler quickly leaps onto the top rope where he plans to execute a moonsault press. He takes a second to pump the audience up with eager hand clapping. And although the fans respond in earnest, he leaves himself open to Mister Dick (no homo) who leaps onto the second rope next to Bryant. The boybander tries to elbow his rival away from him, hitting him in his handsome face with furious blows. But the flurry of strikes comes to a decisive and violent end when The Human Hard On flings him backwards with a side Russian leg sweep. “OOOOOOH!” is the reaction from the Motor City crowd as the two warriors land with ring shaking impact on the mat. COLE OAOAST 360 tells me that whenever Mars is in retreograde and Detroit weather is bellow forty degrees between the times of 5:15 and 8:07 Shayne Brave has a 76% chance of hitting a move from the second rope. Did you know that, Coach? COACH I know you oughta choke on a dick dipped in rat shit. Bryant rolls around the mat with his hand held against his badly injured back, as Mister Dick mocking stands above him crying unsympathetic crocodile tears. Once done with taunting his foe, MD covers his body for a fall… ONE! TWO! Bryant gets his shoulder off the canvas. Beyond that, he’s able to accomplish little more as an angered Mister Dick drops a leg directly onto his face. He returns to his feet and lays his spurred boots into Bryant’s chest. After the third stomp lands, Mister Dick drops down for another cover… ONE! TWO! Once again Bryant finds a way to avoid certain defeat. But just like before Bryant isn’t able to return to the offense, thanks to Mister Dick clamping his chiseled arms around his face in a camel clutch. “LET’S GO TYLER! LET’S GO TYLER!” his hometown fans begin to rally behind him. Tyler’s teeth grit together hard, almost grinding themselves into white ashes as he attempts to stomach this rising pain. Above him his opponent’s thick Texas accent hollers at the referee to call for the bell. COLE Its not often we see a camel clutch end a match in the OAOAST, but the strength of Mister Dick is enough to get something like that done. Bryant hollers defiant “no”s to the referee’s constant asking of if he’ll submit. While his mouth screams the negative, his aching body yearns for the positive. “Give it up, boy! You ain’t got nothing for me!” The Human Hard On shouts at him. COLE Its disgusting to see that some of our most talented young superstars, Reject, Mister Dick, Spencer Reiger, come with such poor attitudes. COACH Hell is wrong with you? Turn on that OAOAST 360 program and tell us how Zack Malibu has a perfect winning percentage when he lies you down on the bed and does you raw. “TYLER! TYLER! TYLER!” Detroit sings, and their support is rewarded by their hometown hero attempting to pry Mister Dick’s fingers away from his face. Even though MD has a grip tighter than the jaws of life, Bryant finds some success and uses it to slowly push himself upright. Mister Dick is forced to follow suit, as he tries in desperation to keep his hold applied. This becomes frustratingly difficult when Bryant begins ramming his elbow into MD’s super ripped stomach. The audience’s chants grow louder and louder, as Bryant’s elbows grow all the more furious. But, his rebellion is shut down as Mister Dick floors him with a forearm across the back. “BOOOOO!” the fans spit their venom, neither amused nor aroused by Mister Dick grinding his magnificently proportioned body above the boybander. COLE Now I’m not one to complain about a half naked man shaking what his mama gave ‘em but what can be gained by insulting our great OAOAST Marks? COACH The first part of that sentence is why the second part exists. Mister Dick never had the kind of success he has now when he was pandering to these clowns. He’s in it for him and not the Marks, and that’s why he’s a future world champion. The Cocky Prick grabs onto to Tyler’s designer denim and pulls him to his feet. Now upright Tyler is brought into a front facelock, and feels a firm grip on the hip of his pants. Within moments he’s brought into the air for a vertical suplex. But the move is never completed as Tyler counters by falling backwards and rolling up the Angle Award winning superstar into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Mister Dick kicks out right as the fans were preparing to celebrate an upset victory. Tyler slowly gets to his feet, trying to plan a move that will keep MD down. But his lethargic movement greatly hinders him as Mister Dick tears through him with a lethal stiff kick! The teenage girls in attendance shriek with dismay as they watch their cute idol fall to the ground in a battered heap. COLE Mister Dick doesn’t always hit the Stiff Kick, but when he does, its lights out! Mister Dick mounts Bryant and begins throwing a barrage of punches into his face, all while making kissey faces at a group of girls wearing “D*LUX” sweatshirts in the front row. The official pleads with MD to cease his use of closed fists, but the Cocky Prick refuses to hear his request. Finally, the referee is left with no choice but to threaten DQ. This causes MD to end his battering of Tyler, but then leads to him ordering the referee “to mind yer damn business!” COLE He’s the assigned official of the contest. If its anyone’s business, its his! Mister Dick’s argument with the referee affords Bryant much needed time to recover. With some of his strength back, he stumbles back to his feet. Unfortunately, his comeback ends before it starts; Mister Dick leaves him on the mat with a running neckbreaker. A second after Tyler hits the mats, he’s covered by Mister Dick… ONE! TWO! Tyler kicks out the pin and there’s a loud ovation from the Motown fans. There’s also a roar from Mister Dick, who lets his frustration over the count be loudly known. Thankfully for the front row audience’s ear drums, Mister Dick goes onto more productive activities by hooking Tyler into a rear chinlock. COLE With the beating Mister Dick has given Tyler, I don’t know how he’s going to handle this type of move. Tyler wails with agony as MD wrenches his neck back and forth between his powerful hands. Pain stretches all across his countenance and even the support of his native city doesn’t do much to stifle his misery. COACH This right here, dawg, is why the Deadly Alliance recruited Mister Dick. Because he can pound a dude out and then torture him until he submits. Tyler begins a painstaking struggle to get himself off the canvas. Despite Mister Dick’s tough hold on his chin, he succeeds in his efforts. But his opponent still has his deadly submission intact. Thus Tyler begins fighting against it by shooting elbows back into his six packed stomach. These strikes do just enough damage for Tyler to be able to upend MD with a back body drop! “YEAAAAAA!” COLE Yeah! Way to go, Tyler! The fans put out shouts of encouragement to Tyler, urging him to get to his feet and take the fight to Mister Dick. He slowly crawls to the ropes, seeking to use them in support of granting their wishes. Unfortunately a well recovered MD rushes towards him, intending on planting his boot into his skull. But, Tyler moves out the way at the last second, and only MD’s quick reflexes prevent him from being impaled crotch first on the second rope. So shocked over nearly destroying his prized possession, MD doesn’t notice Tyler rolling upright. This is a serious problem as the teenybopper leaps off the third rope and connects with a springboard leg lariat. The audience sends out a gigantic cheer as the hated Mister Dick is slammed to the ground. COLE A beautiful springboard dropkick from Tyler Bryant! There aren’t too many that can fly like him. What an athlete this guy is. COACH He ain’t better than Mister Dick! Bryant barely made the JV hockey team in high school, while Mister Dick was starring for the Aggies at the QB position. COLE Oh please. He was third string and god knows how many times his poor attitude nearly got him kicked off the team. Tyler gets back to his feet and rushes towards the ropes. He bounces off with the intent on striking a slowly rising Mister Dick with a cross body block. But midway through the move, MD reclaims his strength and with unerring ease throws Tyler over with a powerslam. The referee drops to his knees to count the fall.. ONE! TWO! A kickout by Tyler brings a massive ovation from his fans. Mister Dick quickly hops to his feet, and with a grip on Tyler’s shaggy cut brings him to his feet. He slams his knee into the side of Bryant’s head, drawing a horrible cry of agony from the youngster. Three more knees follow and leave Tyler doubled over, fighting a miserable battle just to be able to stand. Rather than capitalize on his foe’s wounded state, Mister Dick sees this as a perfect opportunity to grab his crotch and spit at the disdaining audience. “MISTER PENCIL DICK! MISTER PENCIL DICK! MISTER PENCIL DICK!” Mister Dick runs to the ropes and comes back with a knee aimed towards Tyler’s face. But the Detroiter sidesteps the strike and stuns his foe by hooking onto his arms and bringing him down with a backslide pin. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick recovers from his moment of shock just in time to kick out. COACH That was too close, man! How’d this bum almost beat a prolific don juan like Mister Dick? Back on their feet, Tyler keeps the heat on Mister Dick by tagging him in the jaw with a left-right combo of jabs. Mister Dick’s head snaps back and forth like a basketball dribbled on the court. Out on his feet, he can only watch through dazed eyes as Tyler runs towards the corner and springboards off with a moonsault press! “Let’s hear it, Motor City!” he hollers, leaping back to his feet. “YEAAAAAAAAH~!” they return back, as Mister Dick tries to scrape his body off the canvas. Halfway up, his head is rocked forward by the tremendous power behind Tyler’s shining enziguri! Nearly concussed by such a devastating attack he falls to the canavs, where the rock hard ring mat muffles his screams. COLE I think there could be an upset in our future! Tyler senses an impending victory as well, and impatiently bounces back and forth on his feet, awaiting Mister Dick’s rise. A victorious hunger sprouts in his eyes, and his hands twitch with an over eager anticipation. COLE He’s feeling it, Coach. He’s feeling it! COACH I’m feeling it to. It being “like barfing at your wacked out man love for this Tiger Beat clown” Tyler finally gets his wish as Mister Dick finds his way upright. He pounces upon his foe, taking his long slender body onto his shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. A large pop comes from the stands, the fans happily awaiting his execution of the Idolizer. But their desired finisher is put on hold by Mister Dick overpowering his way through Tyler’s clutches. Immediately upon touching down on the canvas, The Human Hard On wraps his powerful arms around Tyler’s in a full nelson. Seconds later, Tyler is being flung to the canvas and KO’ed by the Pure Penetration! “OOOOOH!” reacts the audience, feeling the pains of going from the highes of victory towards the low of defeat. COLE Damn it. Damn it. I thought Tyler had this one. Mister Dick rolls Bryant onto his back for a crucial pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! Annoyed groans leave the lips of the fans, who can’t believe they’ve seen one of their favorites fall in defeat. The bell ring signifying the unwelcome victory, while Buffer rises off his chair to make the match ending announcement. BUFFER Your winner as a result of pinfall…MISTER DICK! Womanizer blasts back through the arena to even louder boos than it first entered with. Mister Dick celebrates this victory in the most despicable manner imaginable, dropping on all fours and lifting up his leg to simulate pissing like a dog onto his fallen foe. COLE He started 2008 a beloved and respected tag team champion and he starts 2009 peeing on a former friend. Mister Dick, everyone.New Year's SpectacularKITTY CAN SCRATCHWomen's title on the line in New Year's Knockout Gauntlet MatchNEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 COLE Folks, we're having a blast here in Detroit and things are about to get even wilder, because I have COD standing by! We cut bakstage to the COD dressing room where Krista Isadora Duncan, wearing a white bath robe, stands with regularly dressed Alix, clad in a white polo shirt and heavily destroyed jeans. The two seem to be engaged in an argument. KRISTA I am telling you this with all absolute honesty. Steve Nash would kill you in seconds. ALIX But, like, I don't mean attack him just like all up front and stuff. I mean, like you know, get a group of dudes, some lazer rifles, and some flying barracudas, and just let em do what they will. No more playoff games for that rat faced Canadian dork! KRISTA I think you'd be slapped by a zooolgst for violating the laws of the animal kingdom. Flying barracudas? Anyway what do you care about Nash, I thought you were a clippers fan? ALIX I have love for my brothers in purple and gold. KRISTA Jumping on the bandwagon are we? ALIX Noooooooo. Its more like I'm paying a friendly visit. Like if Jay does a song with Lil Wayne, doesn't mean he's not part of the Roc anymore. KRISTA Uh-huh. Sorry bandwagon full. But, hey, the colours look real nice next to your Los Angeles Angels of Anhaiem of California of Orange County of Southern California of Costal California jersey. ALIX Shut up! COLE Um...girls. ALIX Ahhhhh! Who said that? God? God! God, is speaking to us! COLE Well, thank you. But its actually me, Michael Cole. Krista last week on HeldDOWN, The Deadly Alliance invaded your family baseball game and left you with a mild concussion. We want to know, how is your head? ALIX How do you think it is, you communist monster? You Islamic terrorist! You savage raper of god's earth! You degenerate white devil! HOW DO YOU THINK IT IS, SON OF SATAN! I dunno, Krista, how is your head? KRISTA The doctor said I have a mild concussion, which I guess is different from a regular concussion in that the headaches aren't horrific and soul shattering. Just plain soul shattering. Lucky Krista! Also the painkillers they gave me, have less value on the black market. Um I see two of everything, but that may be because I've been injecting Martini's into my blood. My vision is blurred sometimes. My jaw feels like its being beaten with a dumbell and my judgement is completely out of wack. Today...I actually wore a bra. ALIX I noticed your nipples weren't as erect as they usually are. COLE The Deadly Alliance were neither suspended nor fined for their attack on you, even though it took place outside the OAOAST confines. Does it upset you that Josie Baker did not levy a punishment on Mister Dick and his crew? KRISTA That's a fantastic question from a fantastic man. ALIX Fantastic man? Wow, you're really not feeling good! Usually ya just call him "Hey Assface" or if you're feeling extra cranky you just throw a brick at him. KRISTA The answer is why would I harbor any sort of malice or ill will to the greatest female leader this side of Caroline Kennedy? The very fact that Deadly Alliance and Mister Dick haven't been suspended for insulting my thirteen year old daughter, sexually threatening my eighteen year old, flying cross country to bean me with a baseball, flying to Detroit to attack one of my biggest fans, tying me up, molesting me, promising to target and hurt every single person I hold dear, the fact that no one has even got a "Ya know that just ain't very Christian of ya, Mister Dick" takes me to a happy place. A happy place where love fills the air, hope springs eternal, and republicans are hunted and brutally devoured by a gigantic dragon that looks Jesus Christ. Honey, this my come as a shock to you, but I actually requested to Josie that she conduct of all her appearances inside the San Diego Chicken suit. Its unique, its fun, its a giant chicken. When that didn't take, I managed to connivence her not to fine Mister Dick or the Deadly Alliance. You might be saying to yourself why would she do that? I would reply you shouldn't say things to yourself, honey, talking to yourself is a sign of paranoid schizophrenia. I would then say because by giving Mister Dick and Malaysia carte blanche to do whatever they want to me, I've got carte blanche to do whatever I want to the both of them. And what I want to do is call in an Israeli air strike and bomb them both off the face of this terrestrial planet Hamas style. COLE You'll get your chance tonight when you face Malaysia in the first ever dildo on a pole match. ALIX I think the key to winning this match, is to use that teleportation device Melody and I have been working on to teleport yourself to the dildo! KRISTA Its not a teleporter. Its a Lucky Charms box with the word charms crossed out and teleportation written in crayon and spelled with a p. Peleporation. ALIX I don't see you coming up with any genius ideas, miss thang. KRISTA Oh no? I think I do have idea. Not sure if its genius or not. ALIX Lay it on me, sister of soul and funk, and I will be judge, jury and executioner of its geniuses. KRISTA My idea is for you to shut up. ALIX My idea is that you're a retard. KRISTA That's not an idea that's an observation. ALIX Says the retard. KRISTA I don't know how to continue this argument. ALIX You shouldn't because you're a retard. KRISTA Oh, good one. ALIX I thought so. That's why I said it. COLE Um...Mister Dick has made a challenge to you at the grandest stage of them all.. KRISTA No way! They're putting Soul Train back on the air? You best not be messin wit' a bitch, fool! COLE No. Not Soul Train. Anglemania! KRISTA Oh. Leon Rodez is a poor substitue for Don Cornelius. Oh, honey, what am I saying? Believing he'll still be champion by then is like believing gay men and black women from lower income areas AREN'T the only ones who can get aids. Absurd! Yes, now back to Mister Dick. Honey, its hard to fit in Anglemania on the Blackberry between lunch with Angelina, dinner with J-Lo, sweaty monkey sex with Alix, so be a darling and remind me when it is. COLE Anglemania comes to you live from Indianapolis on April the 5th. KRISTA April the 5th. Not the 4th. Not the 6th. But the 5th. Gee shucks, Bubba! I was supposed to perform the ceremony for Terry's marriage to a naked mole rate. TERRY (O.S) I won't marry him! ALIX He comes from good stock, and we need the dowry to keep the land! You wanna see this family go under? Do ya? Do ya? KRISTA Honey, forget the naked mole rat. Let it crawl back up Christian Wright's ass, I gots me some fightin to do! I happily accept Mister Dick's invitation. I happy accept the opportunity to castrate him. I happily accept the opportunity to undo said castration, only to re do it, and I happily accept the opportunity to leave him in a pool of his blood, urine, feces and if I can find just the right sledgehammer, brain fluid. Basically I accept the right to make April 5th the most terrible, rotten, no good, very bad day of Mister Dick's pointless existence. ALIX Do you accept the right to do an Irish jig? KRISTA But of course! ALIX Yo, non fiction dialogue, home skillet! Word to mother, MD's foul way just bought him some of dat gun play! :9mm: BLAT BLAT BLAT ALL UP IN THE SAN ANTONIO UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT! KRISTA What is that? ALIX It could either be the declaration of independence or it could be a gun. KRISTA Why do you have a gun? ALIX Uh hello, this is planet earth, calling for Krista. Unlike some people I'm not gonna get raped, shot or murdered when I'm drinking 40s on Skid Row. KRISTA Why would you ever go to Skid Row? ALIX Um, we're feeling pretty retarded today, aren't we? I'd go there to rape, shoot, or murder. How am I gonna do that without a piece? COLE That actually does make sense, Krista. KRISTA You wanna brick thrown at your head? COLE No ma'am! I'm sorry. Thank you for joining us and good luck tonight against Malaysia. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the NEW YEAR'S KNOCKOUT, for the OAOAST Women's Championship! Two women will start the match and eliminations will occur by pinfall, submission, disqualification or by count-out. The last woman standing will be the OAOAST Women's Champion! Introducing at this time, the participants. Fallout Boy's cover of "Beat It" fires up first, bringing out the OAOAST's chief Fallout Boy fan (that includes the band, the Simpsons character and the resulting comic series), Melody Nerdly. Melody's wrestling tights of choice for the night are black, lined with green '0' and '1' computer code. BUFFER First, eminating from The Fortress Of Nerdlytude... "THE GAME GENIE"... MMMEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOODDYYYY... NNEEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" As Melody climbs to the top ring step and strikes a superheroic pose, "Slide Away" by Oasis hits. BUFFER Introducing next, from Providence, Rhode Island. She represents Cucaracha Internacional... MMMMEEEEEEGGAAAAAANN... SSSSSKKYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan shadow-boxes on her way to the ring. Standing on opposite sides of the ring, Megan and Melody shoot glares at each other. Meanwhile, "Renegade" by Jay-Z and Eminem plays out Nerdly number two, Melissa. BUFFER Representing The Deadly Alliance, from The Bronx, by way of Edmonton, Alberta Canada... MMMEEEELLLLLIIIISSSSSSAAAAAA... NNEEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Melissa takes a position on the outside as well, as another in the parade of Nerdlys makes her way out. To the sounds of Lupe Fiasco's "Superstar", Molly Nerdly heads to the ring still sadly missing her once trusty Siclopse. BUFFER Next, also from Edmonton, Alberta Canada but fighting out of New York University... MMMMOOOOOLLLLLYYYYYYYY... NNEEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Next to hit is "Crushcrushcrush" by Paramore to a big cheer from the crowd. Bounding out through the smoke, Maggie Nerdly throws out heavy doses of "RAWK" to all. On the way down the aisle she tosses her bouqet of black flowers into the crowd, caught by a balding man who presumably isn't next in line for anything except collecting his dole money. BUFFER From Edmonton, Alberta Canada, she is a former OAOAST Women's Champion and YOUR It Girl on the scene... ladies and gentlemen, MMAAAAAAAAGGIIIIIEEEEEEE... NNEEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Sliding into the ring, Maggie climbs the turnbuckles and salutes the fans. COLE All eight women drew lots before the show to determine what order they'd enter this gauntlet style match. And drawing the short straws were the two former Women's Champions in the field, Holly and Maggie Nerdly, who will start this match off. And speaking of Holly, it's she who emerges next as "Another Body Murdered" hits. Sour-faced as ever Holly stalks to the ring, pulling her arm angrily away from the reach of fans who try to reach out and tag her. BUFFER Hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada... another former OAOAST Women's Champion, she is "THE ANGEL OF DEATH"... HHHHOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Still stood staring at those same over-zealous fans, Holly eventually pulls herself away to head to the ring. As she and Maggie are kept apart by the referee assigned to the in-ring action, Charles Robinson, "Sex And Money" plays. It's a case of new name but same reaction, as boos follow the newly re-christened Lorelei DeCenzo on her walk to the ring. BUFFER Representing The Enterprise... "THE MONEY HONEY"... she is LLLLLOOORRRRRREEEEELLLLEEEEEEIIIIIII... DDEEECCCEEEEEEEENNZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits, to a BIG reaction. No, I mean SUPER BIG. Okay, she may have officially re-located from Detroit. But clearly family ties still run deep as Jade is welcomed like a homecoming hero all the same as she bounds through the entrance way. And in return, Jade greets the fans with the exuberance of a homecoming hero, pumping her fists in the air on both sides of the stage. The excited Women's Champion jogs to the ring and even a small confrontation with Lorelei can't wipe the smile from her face. BUFFER And finally, she now resides in Los Angeles, California! The second generation starlet with a heart of gold... ladies and gentlemen, she is the reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... "LITTLE MISS DETROIT"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Little Miss Detroit!? Oh Jade, kiss goodbye to that inheritence. COLE Well if you're going to risk your life, might as well be when the potential killer has a concussion. Let's hope it worked. Greeting the fans on her way with her newly honed Duncan public relations skills, Jade pitches up in friendly territory next to Melody. Lorelei, Melissa, Megan, Molly, Melody and Jade now surround the ring with only Melody and Jade making anything approaching communication. As Jade passes away her Women's Champion, attentions now turn to the ring where Holly and Maggie continue to wait in opposite corners. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Alright, here we go. Maggie and Holly to start and when one woman is eliminated, they'll be replaced by the next competitor. It's winner stays on with high-stakes, the Women's Title goes to the last woman standing. With the sounding of the bell we're underway, with Maggie quick to get the crowd a-clapping. The rhythmic sound ends quickly though, as when Maggie squares up to Holly she gets slapped to the canvas. Holly gives the crowd the 'up yours' gesture to show what she thinks of their clapping. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Picking Maggie up, Holly slaps her across the face again. And a second time. Holly then shoots Maggie across into a corner. Taking her time following up costs Holly and her nonchalant charge into the corner is met with two boots from Maggie up into the chest! Holly rolls through to her feet and Maggie knocks her down with a back elbow attack. Back up, Holly takes a clothesline. And then a dropkick, forcing Holly to retreat from the Nerdly firecracker! COLE Oh yeah! Maggie Nerdly all fired up! COACH Maybe if she showed this much passion to Leon they'd still be together. COLE WHAT!? COACH I've heard stories. COLE You've heard nothing but the results of talking out of your ass. Shut up. Holly backs away on her knees into a corner. Maggie looks to press home her advantage but falls right into Holly's trap, the veteran pulling her down with a double legsweep and putting her feet on the ropes... 1... 2... With a little help from Jade and Melody, referee Robinson notices the feet on the ropes and makes Holly break her pinfall. COLE Holly almost stole this fall but those on the outside weren't going to stand for that. Holly curses being caught out, but mainly curses Jade and Melody for doing the catching. She directs her abuse at them and even SPITS at the Women's Champion who just about weaves out of the way. Referee Chad Patton keeps order on the floor, while Holly's distraction is punished by a Maggie Nerdly schoolgirl... 1... 2... No! First up, Holly cuts Maggie off with a kick to the gut. COLE If Holly or Maggie are to leave Detroit with the Women's Title, they're going to have to win seven straight matches, so the quicker they can get this first one out of the way, obviously the better. COACH That's not Holly's style though. Clearly not. Holly takes longer admiring the results of her kick than actually following up on it and when she goes for an irish whip, it's easily reversed by Maggie. As Holly rebounds Maggie leaves her feet with a clothesline to knock her down. Maggie jumps back up and throws out that RAWK to cheers from the fans. Hitting the ropes herself, Maggie looks for another clothesline, but is thwarted by a two handed shove from Holly. As Maggie rolls back to her feet Holly loads up her own clothesline..."AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!" ...and the rock bitch gets the SCREMO treatment, sending her reeling away with ringing eardrums. COLE Now Holly knows how we all feel having to listen to The Heavenly Rockers! COACH Again, if Maggie made some more noises like that maybe things'd be different. I'm just sayin'. COLE Please stop "sayin'". With Holly dis-orientated, Maggie gets her flying clothesline. Maggie then subjects Holly to some Rick Rolling and goes for the cover... 1... 2... No! As Maggie charges again, Holly cuts her off with a knee to the gut, then uses two handfuls of hair to throw her down to the canvas. Scowling, Holly eventually stops rubbing her jaw as Maggie starts to try and sit up. Grabbing hold of her by the wrists the scowl on Holly's face intensifies as she pulls Maggie up a little, then STOMPS her back into the canvas!! COLE Ooh! That was nasty! The back of Maggie's head, just driven into the mat with that reverse curbstomp! Maggie's sisters cringe on the outside... well, Melody and Molly do, Melissa manages a smile at her sis's misfortunes because she's cruel like that. But the other two cringe as Maggie holds her head in pain. Holly takes this time to stroll around a little, picking her spot for a stomp to the back of the head. And then a second. Slowly, Holly brings Maggie up by the hair and throws her face-first into the turnbuckles, delivering a couple more stomps before being reprimanded by the referee. Not bothered at all, the blasé Holly ignores the ref and pulls Maggie out of the corner, then punches her right in the face. COLE Holly is just mean, plain and simple. COACH Yeah, great ain't it? Down goes Maggie in a heap holding her face. Showing her typical levels of compassion, Holly pulls her up by the hair and delivers another slap. Holly then turns to the crowd, twirling the finger. COACH There it is, the international sign for the Percussion DDT! By the time Holly puts on the front facelock though, Maggie is recovered enough to run her opponent backwards into the turnbuckles! Backing up Melody then takes her over with the Backflip Northern Lights Suplex, better known as the Swagger Jacker!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE What a move that was, this could do it for Holly! Leg hooked... 1... 2... NO! COACH Nah, Holly's as tough as they come. Takes more than that to put her down. I hear the same about Maggie actually, which might be why her romance wit... COLE Enough! Maggie gets over the surprise of the close 2 count just in time to grab Holly for the Hammerlock DDT... but Holly counters, spinning out and pulling Maggie into a knee to the ribs. Underhooking both arms, Holly shows a rare moment of directness as she quickly plants Maggie forward into the mat with the Angel's Wings!! COLE What a recovery from Holly, she really planted Maggie with that one. Back to not caring, Holly makes a very relaxed pin... 1... 2... 3!!! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, MAGGIE NERDLY has been ELIMINATED! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And that suddenly, Maggie is gone. Holly's a dangerous competitor when she can be bothered. As Holly shoves Maggie away from the ring, she's replaced by sister number two as Molly enters. The unpaid intern doesn't take the cheap option of attacking Holly while her back is turned and pays for it as Holly cuts off her attempts to lock-up with a raised knee. Holly clubs Molly over the back with a couple of forearms, then throws her into the turnbuckles. COLE Holly and Molly, this could get confusing. COACH Are you kidding? Compared to the endless sea of sisters that keep miraculously popping up this is like calling Woody Allen fighting 50 Cent. Actually that's a good character comparison I stumbled on too. Go me! Holly stomps a mini-mudhole into Molly's chest, before sending her for the ride corner to corner. Not so much charging as wandering, Holly misses on her follow-up elbow in the corner though. Molly strikes her in the chest with forearms, then sends Holly back to the corner they came from and produces a Boxoffice Bust in the corner! Winded, Holly falls into a hiptoss and a cover... 1... 2... No! COACH A hiptoss? Really? Come on now. COLE Well she did hit the avalanche beforehand. But, yeah, that was more than a little hopeful. COACH Forget being an unpaid intern, I hope Molly's also being treated as an unpaid wrestler if that's anything to go by. Otherwise we need to look at our hiring policies. Staying on the attack, Molly clubs away on Holly as she climbs back up. Holly cuts her off with another kneelift and actually stops in mid-match to put her hands on her hips out of frustration. Once she's portrayed her mood enough, The Angel Of Death hooks up the arms and prepares to deliver the Angel's Wings on Nerdly sister number two. Molly fights her way free though and doubles up Holly with a kick, applying her own double underhook. Holly fights out just as quickly, shoving Molly backwards towards a corner. Not connecting, Molly stops short and tells Holly to bring it. And Holly does, throwing a very elaborate clothesline, which Molly very easily counters into a schoolgirl... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH What!? COLE Take your taunts back Coach, because the unpaid intern just pinned a former Women's Champion in the middle of this ring! BUFFER HOLLY has been ELIMINATED! Looking shocked, once the reality sinks in Holly slaps the ring with frustration. As she rolls out of the ring Lorelei tries to console her, but Holly is pissed and just storms off cussing up a storm. COLE Holly was too cool for her own good and she took the Oscar Bait served up by Molly Nerdly. And now, look at this, it's going to be Nerdly versus Nerdly because in comes Melody next! Sisters square up as it's Molly and Melody paired off. Hopping on her heels an eager Melody initiates a lock-up and the two sisters struggle for position before Melody sneaks behind with a waistlock. After an initial look of confusion, Molly reverses into her own waistlock though. MELODY Hey, is that Martin Scorcese in the third row!? MOLLY *gasps* Where!? With Molly distracted Melody reverses the waistlock and Molly soon realises she's been duped. He was actually in the fifth row. "LET'S GO NERD - LY!""LET'S GO NERD - LY!" "LET'S GO NERD - LY!""LET'S GO NERD - LY!" COLE This crowd split right down the middle... uh, sort of. Unable to find an escape this time Molly backs up and drives Melody back into a corner. Molly then grabs hold of Melody's arm, whipping her across the ring. But Melody avoids another Boxoffice Bust by sidestepping Molly's corner charge. Melody leaves the ring and heads to the top rope quickly, getting there just before Molly can regain her feet and taking off bringing both knees down to drive Molly backwards!! COLE It Came From The Top Rope! Melody jumps back to her feet, then dives on top for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Melody realising she needs to get some quick pinfalls, some quick eliminations to aid her hopes of leaving as Women's Champion and become the third family member to hold that honour. COACH Hmm, I guess third out of fourty six ain't bad. Melody hits a snap suplex and tries another quick cover... 1... 2... No. Coming off the ropes Melody throws a dropkick, which is swatted aside. Molly grabs Melody in a side headlock as she gets up. Going to the ribs, Melody shoots the Little Hitchcock off to the ropes but gets gets knocked down on the rebound by a shoulder tackle. COLE These two of course know each other very well. COACH Are you kidding? The size of their family they probably didn't get within six sisters of each other at any point in their lives! COLE Well they're certainly getting well-acquainted tonight. Molly hits the ropes again, but Melody is waiting with a two handed thrust to the chest! MELODY HADUKEN~! COLE FIREBALL TO THE STOMACH! OH THE HUMANITY! With Molly doubled over from the devestating video-game attack, Melody goes up and over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Molly catches Melody with a jawbreaker on the way up, then sends her for an irish whip. As she lifts Melody looking for a sideslam though, Melody is able to swing up and around the back. Taking hold of Molly's head she then drops out with a Diving Reverse DDT! COLE Melody taking a trip to the darkside with The Imperial Death Drop. 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And that'll do it for Molly! BUFFER MOLLY NERDLY has been ELIMINATED! As soon as the three is counted, Melissa Nerdly jumps into the ring and attacks Melody from behind giving her no chance to relax! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Things just got Deadlier, Michael. COLE Melissa wasting no time in going on the attack on her older sister. Melissa mounts the back of her sister and strikes her with punches to the back of the neck, before pulling her up for a crossface strike! Another cruel blow is delivered before referee Robinson steps in to call her off. Naturally Melissa has a go at the referee while Melody crawls to the ropes looking for a reprieve. COLE First time we've seen Melissa in OAOAST competition, usually serving her purpose as Reject's arm candy. And I'm sure she's far from popular here in Detroit considering her past discretions with one Leon Rodez. COACH He had it coming. Besides, Melissa's more than arm candy. She was always the ambitious one of the family, always the one who was willing to do whatever it took to succeed in life. In a ruthless way, not the work-shy shortcut way most of her sisters have taken. With Melody backed against the ropes, Melissa grabs the top for leverage as she fires a roundhouse kick across Melody's chest cavity. And then a second. COACH Nice flexibility. Always good to see. Staggering away from the ropes, Melody is tracked by Melissa but wheels around with a forearm shot! Melissa is initially stunned, but fires back with a right hand. Another forearm from Melody. Another right hand from Melissa. Breaking the sequence, Melissa shoves Melody back a step and takes advantage of her being off balance by delivering a clothesline. Fed up with the abuse of the crowd Melissa turns away and sneers their way before getting into an arguement with a section in front of her. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" Melissa looks outraged and tries to take her frustrations out on her sister by trapping her in a Texas Cloverleaf... but Melody has long since recovered and kicks her away. COLE A little loss of concentration by Melissa, could it prove costly? Landing on her butt, Melissa kicks her feet having a mini-tantrum before stomping back to her feet. She throws another clothesline, but Melody ducks underneath and hooks up on the arms, then angles Melissa down with the Backslide Driver! COLE It certainly looks that way, Sega Mega Driver connects. With Melissa dazed, Melody hooks her up with a knee in the back of the head and a hold of the far arm, falling back and THAT JUST HAPPENED!! A cheer goes up of genuine delight as Melody covers her sister up... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BUFFER MELISSA NERDLY has been ELIMINATED! COLE Melody Nerdly eliminating two of her sisters in quick succession, the first lady in this match to get some momentum going with a couple of victories. And I have to say I'm very impressed with Melody. She has been a revelation in the past month or two, long-gone are the days of Melody being our most pointless employee. Sorry Coach. As Melody gets back on her toes, it's Megan Skye who's the next entrant. Megan takes her time about getting involved though, hoping some of that momentum will evaporate in the time she takes to climb the ring steps. COLE Half the field gone, we're down to four. Melody and Megan who met one on one four weeks ago with Melody coming out on top, plus Lorelei DeCenzo and the Women's Champion herself still to enter. Jade at least experiencing some luck of the draw, this could have been a VERY tough prospect if she'd entered second or third. COACH She's still got some work to do though. Melody's time's running out, but there's still Megan and there's still Lorelei. With Jade and Lorelei looking on, Megan faces up to Melody. The two recent rivals in both management and in-ring action exchange some words, or in Melody's case some e-words, which are more acronyms than words really. They're also kinda confusing, which allows Melody to get the first shot in on Megan. The two exchange forearm for forearm until Megan gets in a good one and forces Melody back a step. Megan then swings with a punch, but Melody ducks it and hooks hold of Skye's arms, setting her up for the Backslide Driv... NO. Megan squirms free and shoves Melody into the ropes. A baseball slide puts Melody through her opponent's legs, but a mule kick catches her once she's back up. COLE Megan so dangerous with her hands and her feet with that kickboxing background. Turning Melody around Megan looks to take her up for a back suplex, but Melody floats all the way over and lands on her feet. Megan throws a clothesline, but Melody rolls underneath it, Lara Croft style. On one knee, Melody then catches Megan with a Claude Van Damme esque punch to the stomach! COACH I guess that'd be Melody's nerd-fu background? Melody stays frozen in position after her punch, but her tribute to any bad kung-fu B-movie doesn't pay, as Megan shrugs off the effects of the punch with Melody still in mid-pose... AND KICKS HER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH HA-HA! You have much to learn, young grasshopper. Cover by Megan... 1... 2... NO! COLE Give Melody credit though, showing plenty of resiliance to kick out. Throwing Melody into a corner, Megan climbs to the middle rope. With her left leg on the rope, she places her right across the side of Melody's head and starts to SCRAPE the sole of her boot across the Game Genie's face repeatedly! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIV..." Megan steps off the ropes with her hands innocently over her head. COLE We've seen Megan do that before and it always makes you cringe. Melody sits in the corner clutching her face and Megan hits her across the midsection with a hard kick. Pulling her to her feet, Megan puts Melody's face into the top turnbuckle and then backs away across the ring, charging in with a corner elbow smash. As Melody falls to her knees Megan steps right over her to the middle rope and waves her opponent up. COACH Tornado DDT, coming up. Jade instinctively tries to warn her friend as Megan lies in wait. To her feet, Melody looks dazed and starts to stagger towards Megan... but suddenly springs to life... MELODY SHORYUKEN~! ...but Megan DODGES THE LEAPING PALM STRIKE!! COLE Megan had it scouted! As Melody lands, Megan comes off the middle rope with a clothesline right to the back of the head! Melody's face skids off the canvas and she looks to be out of it as Megan flips her over and hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE Four weeks ago Megan tasted that palm strike and this time she was ready. But still, not able to finish Melody off just yet! "MEL - O - DY!" "MEL - O - DY!" "MEL - O - DY!" "MEL - O - DY!" The Detroit crowd get behind Mellow Yellow. But Megan looks to silence them, lining up the CHICK KIC... ...DUCKED! Melody again hooks up for a backslide, but Megan turns free and sends Melody into the ropes. She then ducks her head for a backdrop, but pays the price as Melody places the knee AND PULLS MEGAN DOWN WITH THAT JUST HAPPENED!! COLE Out of nowhere, she got her! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLEThree straight for Melody Nerdly! BUFFER MEGAN SKYE has been ELIMINATED! Despite getting the fall Melody stays down suffering from her efforts so far. As Megan is rolled out of the ring, attentions then turn to the outside. And to a roaring response from the crowd it's JADE who is motioned into the ring. COLE Wow, how about this! The Women's Champion is in and she's in against her best friend Melody, who's just picked up three straight victories and is really rolling so far. How ironic would it be if Melody were to pin Jade and be responsible for her losing the Women's Title? COACH Hey I'd like to see it. Either way, this sets things up perfectly for Lorelei. Fantastic. Jade is understandably cautious about getting the fall underway and instead checks to see if Melody is okay. She insists she is and accepts Jade's help to get to her feet. The two friends soon realise they're opponents though, which neither seems all that comfortable with. Robinson signals for them to compete and Lorelei DEMANDS they do, eager to see her two potential opponents tear each other apart. Not looking sure what to do, Jade looks around the fans who are urging her on. And eventually she and Melody slap hands in a sign of respect before circling around the ring. COLE Alright we're going to see it. Looking weary, Melody goes for the quick victory as she surprises Jade with a leg trip and stacks her on her shoulders... 1... 2... No! Back up and Melody goes for a schoolgirl... 1... 2... No! Trying to fend off her high-energy challenger Jade finds herself retreating and doesn't want to get cornered, so lashes out with a forearm. She catches Melody perfectly and after all the shots she's taken already, Melody hits the mat, to Jade's initial shock. COLE Jade is clearly not comfortable fighting her friend here. COACH She'd better get comfortable with it and quick. If she loses the Women's Title, Krista won't be happy. If she loses it and the expence of friendship, how pissed is Krista gonna be!? Jade looks apologetic as Melody recovers, but realises she has to stay on her opponent, friend or not. Even so, she's hesitant as she executes a DDT. Cover by Jade... 1... 2... No! After helping Melody up the Women's Champion hooks her up for another DDT. Melody lands a shot to the gut though. And a second. After two "OW"s Jade strikes back with a shot to Melody's back just out of irritance. But Melody suddenly shrugs Jade off of her, then WALLOPS her in the face with a Big Boot! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Doesn't look like Melody's got too many problems fighting a friend. She's sneaky, see. Just ask Maggie. If it weren't for her, she and Leon would still be together and that's fact. COLE You've changed your tune. Melody makes the pin... 1... 2... NO! The Detroit fans applaud Jade, getting to her feet nursing her jaw. Melody takes a hold of an arm and looks for an irish whip, but Jade reverses. Into the turnbuckles goes Melody and Jade proves she's Always Thinking Of The Little People by using Leon's double knees in the corner! Jade rubs her jaw again as she sets her opponent up on the turnbuckles. The Women's Champion turns her back trying to grab hold of the arms. Melody fights her off though and delivers a slightly comical but nonetheless effective tomahawk chop across the top of the head. COLE There's more of that... unorthodox offence. Jade lets out another "OW" and holds her head. Adjusting her feet, Melody comes off the middle rope with a sunset flip attempt... but Jade hooks the legs and drops to her knees to counter... 1... 2... 3!!! COLE Got her, great counter move! BUFFER MELODY NERDLY has been ELIMINATED! With another apologetic look, Jade makes no celebration and instead helps Melody up as she looks hopefully at the referee. It's all cool between the two though, nice and understanding. Unfortunately, it's all broken up by Lorelei DeCenzo, who barges Jade from behind, causing her and Melody to clock heads! COLE Hey, come on! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lorelei dumps Melody out of the ring, then stomps away on Jade to sounds of derision. COLE Well we're now down to two, Jade Rodez-Duncan the Women's Champion and Lorelei DeCenzo. This New Year's Knockout is now for all intents and purposes a regular one fall Women's Title match, except for the few minutes Jade was in with Melody. That and the sneak attack from Lorelei. A confident look appears on Lorelei's face as the referee breaks up her attack and gives her a warning. Once that's shrugged off, Lorelei pounces on Jade by pinning her in the corner and putting the Tramp Stamp on her with shoulder thrusts into the kidney area. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Lorelei backs off long enough to appease the referee again, then drags Jade out of the corner. Two clubbing shots to the back leave Jade hurting, allowing Lori to come off the ropes and ram a knee into the lower back. As Jade goes down, Lorelei pounces again as she applies a Camel Clutch. COLE The ruthless Money Honey in aggressive mood tonight. COACH She knows Jade can be intimidated and overwhelmed. So that's exactly what she's gonna do. The support of the crowd wills Jade to fight the Camel Clutch and she starts to push up. Lorelei cuts her off with a stomp to the back though. Flipping Jade onto her back Lorelei then drops the Moneymoon across the chest and demands a count... 1... 2... Jade kicks out! But as soon as she does, the Camel Clutch is re-applied by the relentless Lorelei! COLE Again focusing on the back, just trying to pick apart Jade. But we know by now from everything she went through last year, Jade is made of tough stuff. COACH Bones are made of pretty tough stuff too. They still break. Observe. Refusing to give in Jade tries to fight again, the crowd instantly getting behind her. COLE And this crowd solidly in Jade's corner. COACH They do realise she doesn't live here anymore, don't they? COLE Hey, when you spend all season supporting the Lions, you take what you can get I suppose. COACH When you're making Jade look like a hope for your city, you know you suck. Jade struggles her way to her knees and forces Lorelei to release the hold, jamming her knee into the small of Jade's back again. Scoop and a slam follows. Pitching up next to Jade, Lorelei infuriates the Detroit fans by digging a grave for their hero, then goes so far as to SPIT on the imaginary grave, before she drops the leg. COLE Gold Digger, and the cover... 1... 2... No! Bearhug is applied from Lorelei this time as Jade starts to try and get back up. Lorelei applies the hold from the side putting the squeeze on the ribs and leaving the hurting Women's Champion slumped over, energy being sapped. There's still no quit in Jade yet though. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" With Jade starting to struggle, Lorelei again looks to cut her off before she can mount a comeback. She runs Jade back into the turnbuckles before re-applying her bearhug again. Jade cringes and slumps again for a few seconds, before getting another surge. Lorelei feels it and goes to run Jade in again, but Jade turns it so that Lorelei ends up hitting the turnbuckles instead. And with Lorelei momentarily stunned, Jade comes to life with a sudden flurry of wild punches!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" After taking a half dozen shots, Lorelei manages to cut Jade off by elbowing her in the midsection. Lori then grabs the hem of Jade's cheerleader skirt and yanks her forward into a sternum first collision with the turnbuckles. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lorelei pulls Jade down across a knee, then hooks her up for a cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE I have to say, Lorelei is looking dominant so far. But so many times we've seen Jade in seemingly dire situations and come back. And it's that fire and that heart and that desire that's won over the OAOAST Marks, not just in Detroit or LA, but around the world. Picking Jade up, Lorelei clubs her in the back and then puts the badmouth on her. Which proves a mistake, as when Lorelei pulls her up again she gets SOCKED in the mouth with a hard slap! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" As Lorelei shakes it off and looks for some payback, Jade paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360 and knocks Lorelei down with a big clothesline! COLE And here... comes... Jade! Shaken up, Lorelei walks right into a forearm strike. A second. And a third. Jade whips her into a corner and delivers the Rodez favourite DOUBLE KNEES in the turnbuckles! Getting a run-up, Jade then delivers a second dose of DOUBLE KNEES! The crowd are fired up and so too is Jade, growling under her breath as she lines Lorelei up for a THIRD DOUBLE KNEES~! COLE Lorelei has woken something up inside of Jade and now she's paying the price! COACH No no, come on Lori. These Duncans can't keep doing this. As Lorelei stumbles out of the corner she swings weakly with a clothesline attempt, which Jade ducks. Hooking onto Lorelei's arm she applies a cobra clutch and brings her down across the knee with a backbreaker! Leg hook... 1... 2... NO! COLE The newly renamed Lorelei getting an Extreme Hollywood Makeover to go with her new moniker. COACH But she kicked out. How about putting over Lorelei's heart, huh? How about talking about her resiliance? No? COLE The only way I'd describe Lorelei's heart is black. Rolling away from Jade, Lorelei is suddenly struck by forgiveness and tries to beg off from Jade. Jade is not so forgiving, but referee Robinson blocks her path as Lorelei is in between the ropes. The distraction is all Lorelei needs, lunging forward and clipping Jade with a punch to the stomach. The fans boo as their girl lurches forward in pain. After a tap of the brain to show she's smart, Lorelei then hooks Jade up in a uranage, lifting her up only to bring her forward with a gutbuster! COLE A cheapshot and Lorelei back to the ribs again, is she going to steal this one? Lorelei covers... 1... 2... NO!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Lorelei drags Jade up by the hair. Another uranage sets up another gutbuster, again knocking the wind out of Jade! COLE Ungh, another one! And Jade is hurting this time. COACH New Champion Cole. Cover is made... 1... 2... NO!! "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" With a handful of hair again Lorelei stops momentarily to look at the crowd, then makes her point by slapping Jade across the top of the head. And a second time. Jade is too hurt to do anything about the abuse and sensing this, Lorelei lets her go and starts to join the fans in willing her back up with some mocking clapping. COLE Oh, Lorelei is just so arrogant, so disrespectful. COACH She's rich, she can be whatever she wants. And she's also seconds away from becoming the Women's Champion, which is going to make her even richer! Jade fights back to her feet thanks to the support of the fans and not the faux-support of Lorelei. As soon as she's up, Lorelei forgets the mocking and goes in for the kill as she sets Jade up in a uranage again. And after a last insulting word in the ear The Money Honey takes Jade up and brings her do... NO!! JADE COUNTERS WITH A DDT!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Third time was NOT the charm! Both women are back to their feet quickly but both look unsteady. Jade has to use the ropes to pull herself up and breathes heavily resting up against the turnbuckles. Shaking out the cobwebs, Lorelei scowls at the pain the DDT's caused her but still has the energy to charge in... ...but Jade manages to glance behind her, spotting Lorelei coming, in time to step off the bottom rope and float up and over the top! Lorelei hits the turnbuckles chest first and then falls prey to the REVERSE X-FACTOR OUT OF NOWHERE!! COLE GOT IT FROM MY MOMMA, CONNECTS! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE AND JADE SURVIVES THE NEW YEAR'S KNOCKOUT!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Rolling to her feet, Jade looks surprised for a second before jumping to her feet in celebration. The Detroit crowd go wild for Jade as the Women's Title is passed her way, while Lorelei rolls out of the ring a defeated woman. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, LORELEI DECENZO is the final competitor eliminated... your winner of the New Year's Knockout and STILL OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... JJJJAAAAAADDEEEE... RRRRROOOOOODDEEEEZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE She's done it again Coach. Jade just keeps on proving the doubters wrong, keeps on finding that will to win and remains the Women's Champion! What a start to 2009 it's been after such a rough and volatile 2008. COACH I don't know how she keeps doing it. All I know is I don't like it. Jade climbs the turnbuckles with the Women's Title raised high overhead for her fans. At the foot of the ramp, Lorelei takes a look back and it's far from a happy one, pointing a finger as Jade continues her celebrations. Punching her fists into the air the Women's Champion invites Lorelei to come back into the ring since she's got so much to say, but The Money Honey declines, leaving Jade to stand tall. COLE Emotional scenes here in Detroit as Jade retains her Women's Title in front of this capacity crowd. Will we see similar scenes later tonight when the World Heavyweight Champion, Leon Rodez, defends his title for the very first time here in his hometown? Standing by our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews is with the World Champion. We cut to the New Year's Spectacular interview area, where Leon looks on with pride at the scene unfolding in the ring. Once he realises the camera is on him he soon perks up though, fixing his best on-camera smile and making sure his World Title belt is well in shot. MATTHEWS Victory for one Rodez here in the Motor City, but will the same be said for the other Rodez when tonight is over? Leon, you're going to be defending your World Title for the first time in a matter of minutes. And this must be a special night for you. LEON Special night is putting mildly Josh. This is the night I've been dreaming about my whole entire career. Think about it. New World Heavyweight Champion. First title defence. Hometown crowd in my corner. Big welcome when I come out the curtain. Huge support once the bell rings. Spotlight on bright. It's all set up perfectly for me to go out there and show the world just why I'm the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion by defeating the... uhm... sorry, but, who am I facing again? MATTHEWS Uhm... well... LEON Doesn't matter. Because this... Leon makes the Detroit 'pointing to the spot on his palm' sign. LEON This is all that matters. Whoever Josie's got lined up for this first defence is going to be behind the eight ball the moment they step in the ring, because I'm home. Detroit. Home of the great car manufacturers of these United States. Home of the record breaking Detroit Lions! MATTHEWS ...uhm... you mean the 0-16 Detroit Lions? LEON Record breaking! After a nervous laugh, Leon just sighs. LEON But anyway, that's not important either. What's important is, Detroit's up 1-0 so far tonight, albeit by way of LA. And I'm fully intending on making it 2-0 and by the time tonight's up. Leon pats Josh on the back as he exits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 The lights turn blood red as purple/orange smoke begins to blanket the stage, “Creeps” by Fedde Le Grande playing in the ground. BUFFER The following is a first round Anderson Cup bout. Currently on their way to the ring, Port Au Prince, Haiti, the minions of the underworld… LOS CONQUISTADORS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Uno and Dos drop to their knees ringside in praise of their voodoo gods, kendo sticks with shrunken heads in their possession. COACH Even I’m freaked out by these guys, Cole. COLE You wouldn’t want your daughter to bring either one of them home for dinner, that’s for sure. Fear gives way to hope as “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy hits. BUFFER And their opponents! First, from Peoria, Illinois, 220 pounds, wrestling’s last real good guy… TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH! His tag team partner, hailing from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Cash and Windels head down the aisle slapping hands and kissing babies. No really. One lady holds out her baby for them to kiss. COLE Just as we suspected. Baron Windels is the new partner of Tim Cash, Coach. COACH We saw them come together last week and they’ll really need to be if they expect to defeat Los Conquistadors. The pre-match garb is removed and the bell is signaled. * DINGDINGDING * The good sportsman that he is, Tim offers a handshake, which Uno answers with the old Great Muta throat slash and thumbs down taunt. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CASH COACH COLE Come on, he was only trying to be a nice guy. Once the disappointment wears off, Cash locks up and is placed in a painful side headlock. He shoots Uno into the ropes and drops down, leapfrogging the Conquistador on the rebound before utilizing a drop toehold to his advantage. BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK finds its mark and we have our first pin attempt. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash wrings the arm but is raked across the eyes. Scoop slam and a beauty. Off the ropes Uno plants a knee into the heart of wrestling’s last real good guy and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Uno shimmy’s to the corner, where he performs a Jerry Lawler-esque middle rope piston punch…BUT EATS A BOOT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Fortunately for Uno he lands near his corner and easily tags out. Unfortunately for Dos he gets caught with a hip toss and then a standing dropkick. A tag is made and Baron Windels comes in firing. He whips Dos into the ropes for the MYSPACE COMEBACK, then shoots him off again and drops down as the new legal man Tim Cash scores on a MISSLE DROPKICK! COLE What excellent teamwork being displayed by Tim Cash and Baron Windels. If this is a sign of things to come, they’re gonna make one helluva team. COACH Yeah, but let’s not go crowning them yet, Cole. The match is far from over. Los Conquistadors aren’t warmed up yet. Another 5 minutes and they’re gonna be dangerous. COLE Not warmed up, another 5 minutes? Who do you think they are, Greg Valentine? COACH Do you even know who Greg Valentine is? COLE Do you? COACH Well, uh… Don’t we have Ed Werder standing by at Valley Ranch? Amidst the banter we have a cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The excellent teamwork from Cash and Windels continues, as Cash leapfrogs Dos and BW drills him with the BANDIT KICK! Cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Save by Uno! Irked by the interference, Baron hurls Dos towards the Conquistador corner and challenges Uno. At first hesitant Uno eventually accepts…and charges into THE DEVIL’S ADDICTION! Yet another exchange is made by Cash and BW, and the duo hit a DOUBLE SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! Meanwhile, outside, Dos reaches for his voodoo stick in order to reverse his team‘s fortunes, but his plot is foiled courtesy of a baseball slide by the 6’7 Baron Windels. With no forces of evil to stop him, Tim Cash entertains the crowd with the CHUCK BERRY DUCK WALK (Stump Puller), and picks up the submission! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing to the second round of the Anderson Cup… TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Cash and BW celebrate. COLE Oh, yeah. Tremendous win for Tim Cash and Baron Windels in their tag team debut. More great act-- BACKSTAGE – YEEEEEAAAARRGGHH! Lunar Phoenix is not happy. In the background, BLACK WIDOW hass found a corner to stay in. Phoenix continues to RAGE, turning over benches. Near the door he punches the wall – and PAUSES as THE NAME is suddenly in the doorway. STAREDOWN~! NAME: What’s your problem, dude? PHOENIX: My PROBLEM? My problem is punks like you showing up out of nowhere and getting the royal treatment! NAME: It’s business. PHOENIX: Business? He looks to Widow, who shrugs. PHOENIX: Alright. Fine. Let’s talk business. Since no one else in this company is going to make you earn your name, I will. NAME: (smiles) Heh. Alright. Lay it down. PHOENIX: Next week. You and me. If you win, I leave you alone. If I win… you curtain jerk for the next year. NAME: Fine by me, brother. Phoenix nods. Clearly this is over for him. But Name just stands there. Phoenix can’t back down or he loses face so he stays locked in the staredown. NAME: You know, brother, I thought you were the man. You had a name, man. Respect. But over the last year and tonight you’ve shown nothing but contempt for this great sport. I’ll see you in the ring. You need to be taught a lesson. You need a new name. A better class of opposition. I’ll be happy to give it to you. Name walks away. Phoenix is SEETHING.New Year's SpectacularFANTASY MATCHDildo on a Pole: Krista meets MalaysiaNEXT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 In the center of the ring, announcer Michael Buffer stands within a purple spotlight as the rest of the arena remains darkly illuminated. BUFFER The following contest is the first ever dildo on a pole match! “YEAAAAAAAA!” COACH I can’t wait! We see the dildo hanging from a golden and glittering pole before the view returns to DA BUFF MAN! BUFFER The rules are simple. Once a competitor captures the dildo they may use it in anyway they see fit. The match can not be won until the dildo is removed from the pole. Buffer’s announcement is ended by hard driving metal as “Wildside” rocks its away into the arena. The entrance doors spread apart bringing out a wall of smoke that carries Malaysia Nerdly with it. Her fit and ripped body is packed into a black leather halter top, and red leather boot shorts. The cat of nine tails is swung wildly, lashing out at the audience that attacks her with so much anger. BUFFER Hailing from Edmonton, Alberta Canada. She is a former Women's Champion and The Ultimate Combination Of Beauty And Beatdowns... representing the Deadly Alliance, she is the Angle Award winning….MMMMAAALLLLLLAAAAAYYYYYSSSSIIIIIIAAAAAAAA... NNEEEERRRRRRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYY!!! Moving her tongue across the edge of her whip handle, Malaysia strolls along the entrance ramp. The fans near the guard rail give her much space, not wishing to incur a “Roots” like lashing. COLE I’ve heard some really good things about the dildo being used in this match. COACH What did you just say? COLE The suction cup at the bottom is very study. This makes positioning of your dong practically limitless. Whether you like to have nice clean fun in the shower at the gym where it can attach to the tile wall, or you're like me and enjoy suctioning it to your car seat where you can have some traffic jam fun this toy won't budge once its sealed into place! COACH So you've heard. Malaysia charges up the steel steps, swinging her whip overhead to leave the nearby audience in a state of pure fright. She performs a agile yet powerful leap over the ropes into the ring, and throws up her whip free hand to the booing fans. COLE Krista all set to take on her daughter’s old tormentor. A smoking hot battle between the two toughest girls in the OAOAST! “HOW DOES IT FEEL IN MY ARMS?” Kylie Minouge’s bumping dance track brings out a mammoth cheer from an audience that rises to their feet. Camera flashes click off at rapid pace, as fans try to immortalize the image of the incoming Hollywood Starlet. The barely clothed dancers take on a jungle theme, outfitted in zebra print loin clothes and bikini tops. Their beautiful bodies bump and grind against each other between nightclub like pink and red lights. The queen of this jungle, Krista Isadora Duncan, stands proudly in the center. Her pride has much to do with what she’s wearing, or not wearing in this case, as her gorgeous figure is shown off in white high heels, a tiger print mini skirt and a sparkling orange halter top, while her golden hair is decorated by cute red ribbons. Conspicuous in its absence is her usual martini, oddly replaced by a live snake! COACH God is good! Praise be to Allah! BUFFER And the opponent! Hailing from Los Angeles, California she is a New York Times best selling author, a reality TV star, the founder of the FIT with KID line of exercise videos, a member of the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, a loving mother, a four time tag team champion, a 12 time Angle Award winner, the current Money In The Bank contract holder, and the 2009 WRESTLER OF THE YEAR she is Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan! COLE Its just as Mister Buffer said, Krista Isadora Duncan is the wrestler of the year, and if she didn’t have enough people gunning to beat her, the voters just added another reason to go after her. First up, Malaysia Nerdly! Krista bounds down the ramp that’s carpeted with pink and red glitter with the grace and style one would expect of a former model. Reaching the end she offers a little twirl and a sly smirk to her army of fans before heading to the ring. “WRESTLER OF THE YEAR! WRESTLER OF THE YEAR! WRESTLER OF THE YEAR!” Such a nerdy, nerdy, nerdy chant sours Krista’s mood beyond all belief. Thus the fans are punished for their geekiness by her refusal to do her usual upside leg hanging trick. Malaysia decides to take that opportunity by showing Krista up by jogging in place… COACH Its on now! *DING DING DING* Malaysia’s wide sapphire blue eyes stare at Krista full of carnal lust. Her tongue traces a hungering trail across her ruby red lips, eager to ravage every part of Krista’s body. Miss California glares back, but her intensity rests behind a sharp desire to hurt Malaysia. That desire sends Krista rushing forward at the Canadian. But Malaysia sends out a lariat to greet her arrival. Krissy dips bellow Malaysia’s body builder worthy arm and bounces off the nearby ropes. Any hopes she had of catching her bigger rival by surprise are immediately dashed when Malaysia lunges forward and grabs onto her ready for the red carpet hair. Krista stumbles backwards, but manages to regain her balance in order to snatch onto Malaysia’s hair. For several seconds the two ladies war back and forth, using their powerful strength to painfully twist each other’s necks. The sounds of their quick heavy breathing, grunts, and moans echo through the arena. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Soon Malaysia’s strength begins to win out, as Krista is slowly being pushed downward. A vile grin spreads across Malaysia’s face, watching Krista struggle to stay standing. Suddenly the wrestler of the year stops pushing back and instead pulls Malaysia towards her. Just as she hoped, the dominatrix is thrown off balance and confused by the tactic. As her breasts press into Malaysia’s, Krista pulls one foot back and swivels her torso; Malaysia is thrown overhead and lands with a thud that shakes the ring! “YEAAAAAAA!” “Thank you, thank you! That’s actually a judo throw called the Hayaku inakunare-yo!” “No!” a young Asain boy pipes up. “Hayaku inakunare-yo literally translates into I would like to expand my juices across the surface of your mother’s donkey.” Krista is annoyed, “Hey Captain Sulu, why don’t you tell us what this translates to Go ahead and break that one down Karate Kid.” Still bothered by the fan’s comment, Krista takes out her aggression on Malaysia with a hard slap across her cheek. “AGAIN!” Malaysia screams, as Krista’s hand print burns bright red on her golden skin. SLAP! “AGAIN!” Malaysia’s body rocks beneath Krista, brought to the early stages of ecstasy by her perverse pleasure. “Nah. Honey, I know all about the kinky sex fiend beneath the leather and I like to choke on a ball gag as much as the next lez, but today I want to know about-“ “SLAP ME!” “About the kinky middle eastern politics fiend beneath the leather. Ron Paul said there can be no such thing as Independent Israel. Your thoughts?” “SLAP ME NOW!” “Your answer had absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand and yet still its a shade smarter than anything ever said by Elizabeath Hasselbeck. Bravo, honey, time for a treat.” Krista’s hands slash across Malaysia’s face in rapid-fire fury. Not lost on the audience is the way Malaysia’s tits heave and bounce with each powerful slap. Unfortunately for the Angle Award winning wrestler of the year, a barrage of slaps isn’t the ammunition needed to KO Malaysia, and she manages to regain her composure in order to grab Krista’s hands. “My turn!” She says through a seducing smile, as Krista works in vain to pull her hands free. Krista’s painstaking efforts come to a harsh end as Malaysia succeeds in rolling over onto her back with one powerful turn of their bodies. Although stunned to be on her back, Krista has enough of her wits to put her arms up to shield herself against the hellish slaps Malaysia throws into her face. Even with her arms used in her defense, the blows sting fiercely and force Krista to try and grab her hands like the Edmontonian had grabbed hers. But although Malaysia is too strong to be hindered by such tactics, she grows incredibly frustrated with her inability to be able to punish Krista the way she wants. And so she takes a firm and hurtful grip on Krissy’s hair, but this time she leans far over her head in order to pin her arms down. Much to Malaysia’s depraved delight, her ample breasts smother Krista’s face like twin flesh pillows. Both ladies are engage in an aggressive dance of leather and lace with Krista writhing towards freedom, and Malaysia fighting with all her strength to keep the buxom blonde in her dungeon of passion. COLE Hands were I can see them, Coach! Krista can feel the wrestling mat beneath her and Malaysia’s firm sweaty body sliding against her. The constant shifting of positions locks her into the task of moving her head in search of breathing room underneath her breasts. Her senses fill with the aroma and taste of their flesh as Malaysia plows them into her face. That her nipples are erect aren’t lost on Krista as they brush against the edges of her mouth. Like a tiger irresistibly drawn to its prey, Krista’s lips wrap around the nipple as she guides it into her hungering mouth and begins to suck and flick it with her tongue through the leather top. “Oh god – yes! God that's what I like!' Maylaysia hisses through pursed lips. Captivated by her performance as Krista’s lusty snack, the muscle goddess fails to notice that Krista is slowly guiding them both upright. Krista’s soft fingertips stroke the hardened nipple, making the ache and need in her boil over and she moans softly, arching towards her touch while she continues to rise. “Yes baby! That's what you do!” Malaysia bellows with guttural fire. Little does she know that Krista is moving with deliberate pace to remove herself from her body. Once Malaysia realizes something is a foul, Krista is already retreating to the ropes! The fitness queen bounces back with a flying forearm that throws Malaysia off her feet and into the canvas. The audience cheers the strike but their joy doesn’t last long with Malaysia quickly moving back upright. Not bothered by her foe’s resiliencey, Krissy casually scoots to the ropes and bounces back with another flying forearm. Again Malaysia goes down to delight the audience, but she again makes a speedy return to her feet. Now upright she thrusts her breasts at Krista’s face, a demand to resume the wild pleasuring. Krista doesn’t need to be asked twice, “If there’s one thing the great Julia Child taught us its that few things go better with nipples than light beer. Lay it on me, random fan in the crowd!” She shouts, and then receives a bottle of Coors light from helpful random fan in the crowd. With drink in hand she glides over to waiting Malaysia and dumps liquor on her chest. Malaysia’s voice cracks with a squealing glee as Krista does this… The audience shares a similar overjoyed reaction as Malaysia, however Krista is surprisingly keen to return to business. She finds the will to break her tongue away from her beer soaked treasure and irish whips the fierce beauty to the ring ropes. As soon as she returns, Malaysia attempts to power through her foe with a lariat. But Krista ducks the oncoming strike, causing Malaysia to skid to an off balance halt. She tries to stage a quick recovery and retry her attack on Krista, but she can do nothing besides turn into several kicks to the leg. After her high heels batter Malaysia’s powerful calves, the wrestler of the year further weakens them by throwing her back into the cables. However Malaysia reverses the hold and sends the 4 time tag team champion rushing towards the ropes. Krista comes off the cables with a forearm leveled at Malasyia’s head, but she easily swoops bellow the oncoming strike. Once she reaches the opposite end of the ring she elevates herself to the top rope and dives backwards with a corckscrew moonsault press. Her billion dollar figure crashes into Malaysia and the scantily clad blonde babes topple into the canvas. The sold out Detroit audience gives the aerial display a rollicking round of applause COACH Screw this. Suck her nipples! “Malaysia, you gotta admit, “Krista begins. “Moonsaults, nipple sucking, boob play? I’m at least ten times as good as your prom date. Although according to Maggie, your prom date was just a mustache drawn on your hand that you claimed as Lou Diamond Phillips. I make no judgments, honey.” Emotional Pain. That’s the type of pain Malaysia doesn’t enjoy, and its also the type that sends her hurtling at Krista. But as she arrives the wrestler of the year flips her overhead and lands her across the canvas with an arm drag. Moving with incredible haste, Krista spins around into a moonsault. However, Malaysia shocks her by rolling out the way. Krista recovers from her surprise quickly enough to make an abrupt landing on her heels. But Malaysia still manages to strike her concussed head with a standing knee. COLE I wonder how Mister Dick will feel if Malaysia’s the first person to beat Krista. Its unpredictable because I don’t know who wears the pants in that relationship. COACH Neither. They both wear assless chaps. Malaysia face illuminates with a desire as she watches Krista whimper while holding her aching head. Eager to gain more pleasure from Krissy’s pain, the former women’s champion rushes forward to attack her with another knee strike. But it turns out the fitness queen catches onto Malaysia’s thick leg flap acks her into the air. The ring ropes catch her on her descent and force a gurgle of distress to seep from a face that’s painted by agony. “YEAAAAAAA!” the crowd chants as Krista feels a burst of aggressive tension grip her. In an almost barren ring, there’s little way to channel this sexually charged aggression. But what is there, Malaysia’s whip, is the perfect instrument to do so. Krista gathers it up and both her’s and the audience’s spines tingle with excitement. With a sudden flick of her wrist, Krista sends the whip slicing into Malaysia’s ass. The wire feels like a streak of fire burning into her; the pain is exquisite. She cries out in a mixture of pain and pleasure and strained at the ropes that bound her in place. “MORE!” she screams as Krista watches the beautiful sight of her butt snap and bounce from her lashes. Again and again, she strikes Malaysia stirring her firm ass around for the simple delight of her carnal fantasies. The crack of leather on leather joins with Malaysia’s enchanted screams of pleasure to further quench Krissy’s thirst. “My turn!” Malaysia hollers. “Nah. Don’t think so.” “My turn!’” “Honey, let it go. Move on with your life! Draw that Lou Diamond Phillips mustache on your hand and live again. LIVE! See movies, take walks, and finally get into the Harry Potter books your brothers and sisters swear by. You know Molly says she roots for Gryffindor, but secretly she loves her Slytherin boys. Ha ha!” Fine literature does not please Malaysia one bit, and she grabs onto the whip to take matters into her own hands. Scowling at her foe, she raises it above her head to strike down like the hammer of thor. But Krista counters by dropkicking her over the ropes! “YEAAAAAAAH!” scream the fans, though their joy is tempered when Malaysia lands on her boots. “I can’t send you home all sad.” Krista comments as she slowly slides down her skirt into… Much like the audience Malaysia stands mesmerized, captivated by the luscious body on full display. Unlike the audience Malaysia is in the middle of a match, and her enchantment proves costly; Krista comes over the ropes and flattens her with a picture perfect shooting star press. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant and receive a little ass wiggle in return. She then grabs onto Malaysia’s tight top and drags her upright. An irish whip sends Malaysia skidding into the guard rail, where she hollers a cry that’s all pain and zero pleasure. More pleased is Krista who watches the former women’s champion stagger away as she runs towards the stairs. Once she reaches her destination the California sex kitten uses it as a springboard to launch herself at her foe. She lands with the precision of a cougar across Malaysia’s back and wraps her claws around her in a piggy back sleeper hold! A bubbling grunt comes from Malaysia’s throat as she struggles to cope with the vice grip locked around her neck. The nearby front row fans urge her to tap out, adding to the frustration of the situation. COLE Krista looking to weaken Malaysia with a choke. But, someone like her has to be pretty familiar with asphyxiation. Indeed she as, as Malaysia calms down to wisely use her strength to try and maneuver Krista off her. The hold of Miss California is painfully tight, as she’s totally unwilling to relinquish her submission. “When I went to Disney Land as a kid I never got my piggy back ride from the bear from the jungle book. You’re the closest thing I’ve come across since, so you’re going to walk around and like it!” Krista demands. Malaysia’s shows no intention of yielding to Krista’s request and continues jerking and tugging at her cumbersome guest. Eventually her struggles give way to results; she’s able to shift Krista in front of her into her thickly muscled arms. Having the tanned beach bunny and her soft skin totally submissive within her dominant chains thrills Malaysia and ecstasy explodes on her face. COACH Suck them nipples girl! Krista jerks futilely against her bonds and her face contorts with anguish. Constrained by arms stronger then a boa constrictor, Krista has little recourse besides screaming in shock when Malaysia begins undoing the strap of her shirt. COLE She’s not! “I am!” “Oh, honey lemme help.” Malaysia’s eyes widened as she peels off her top, displaying round, firm breasts and an image made for a museum… COACH "Why don't you try em out?" Krista purrs to Malaysia MALAYSIA TO KRISTA ROBOCOP While the fans, Robocop and Malaysia rejoice, its again only Malaysia who suffers thanks to her lost hold on Krista. The chesty covergirl covers her boobs with one hand, and uses her free arm to shove Malaysia into the ring. While the former womens champion takes a moment to recover, Krista slips back on her skimpy top to the disgust of the fans. “What? I will not catch pneumonia because you can’t masturbate quick enough!” She shouts back. Deciding to do something nice after that insult, she climbs to the top rope in a rather bent over way. Once that asstastic display concludes she flies at Malaysia and brings her down to the canvas with a cross body block! COLE No pin on that because you can only pin someone after you reach the holy dildo! Molly Nerdly reliably informs me this same dildo was in American Pie, Requiem for a Dream, several episodes of the L Word, and has done Shakespeariean theatre. Its good to work with a professional. Latching onto Malaysia’s shoulders, Krista is able bring the brawny lass upright. She keeps her staggered with a few elbow strikes to the collarbone, and then attempts to launch her at the ropes. But, Malaysia recovers her strength just in time to reverse the hold and send the high heeled babe trotting to the ropes. Krista springs forward with her trusted flying forearm, but all that does is allow Malaysia to catch her and drive her downwards with a crushing bossman slam! Horrified gasps fill the arena from the fans that watch Krista spasm in agony. "I’m going to have fun now." Malaysia steps close to her and grabs her hair in a painful grip. She winces as the muscle goddess hisses in her ear, "So much fun.” A painful twist of her hauls Krista upright and pulls pained groans out her mouth. Her cries are muzzled and her pain worsened when Malaysia sends a knee into her stomach. Miss Money In The Bank is left hunched over in distress, an easy target for the horrible backrake Malaysia inflicts her with. Krista is all too close to toppling over to the canvas, but her descent is halted by Malaysia letting her down gently across her knee. “Now its time for fun” Malaysia chuckles, taking in the sight of Krista’s firm and round cheeks. She watches them flex as Krista moves to be free, and she can no more stop herself than an earthquake. Her hand strikes out and begins spanking her. With each sharp blow her ass rebounded. He struck her until her asscheeks almost glow red and curses seem to flow perpetually. That pleases Malaysia enough to end the spanking and transfer Krista onto her shoulders. Giving Miss California no time to fight out she drops backwards and smashes Krista against the canvas with a Samoan Drop. Pain shoots throughout Krista’s aching body, a welcome occurrence to the sadistic Malaysia. COLE Overwhelming tenacity by Malaysia! COACH What’s overwhelming? COLE Her tenacity. COACH No. What’s overwhelming? What’s that mean?! COLE It means you’re a moron. As Krista is left crippled by Malaysia’s ruthless offense, the Nerdly bruiser is given the perfect opportunity to chase after the coveted dildo. A quick stride carries her to the corner, where she leaps onto the second rope and begins to unhook the dildo. The capacity crowd grumbles their distaste as Malaysia gets closer and closer to unchaining the marital aid. COLE It looks like Malaysia might have it! This match is more exciting than getting Joey Lawrence's album for the 10th anniversary of my coming out! COACH Girl, you know its true. But Malaysia’s triumph is delayed when Krista hauls her weary bones upright and rushes to her position. Not wanting to lose the victory she so was close to obtaining, Malaysia kicks her stiletto boots back at the wrestler of the year. Krista bobs and weaves, swiftly moving to avoid the furious kicks. Malaysia continues to slash away at Krista, but meets only with failure; Krista reaches up and hauls down her leather shorts! “YEAAAAAA!” Malaysia tries to take a page out of Krista’s book… The wondrous rump shaking turns the tables on Krista and transforms her into a drooling wreck. Pleased with using Krista’s tricks against her, Malaysia quells her booty and resumes going after the dildo. But just as soon as her butt stops bouncing, does Krista stop drooling. Now recovered, Krista hauls Malaysia off the top rope with a mighty heave! Unable to get her hands up in defense, the Deadly Babe’s fetching face smacks off the turnbuckles. The fans applaud in happiness at Malaysia’s misfortune. But the Edmontionian recovers from the stinging blow with remarkable speed, and whirls around with a punch. But Krista blocks the blow by swiping Malaysia in the gut with a boot. She leaps onto the third rope and then springboards back with a dropkick that sends her rival careening back into the ringposts. Exhausted by Kris’ rapid fire assaults, Malaysia slinks to the canvas and rests against the posts to recover her breath. “WRESTLER OF THE YEAR! WRESTLER OF THE YEAR!” “Hey now, that’s not very nice to exclude Malaysia in your chants. There’s plenty she can do. Such as…and…and then there’s that thing with the stuff and the thing, no that’s someone else. I bet she can eat her own weight in Twinkies!” Having fulfilled her compliment quota for the month, Krista struts to the center of the ring. One last look to a bone weary Malaysia, assures her that her foe is well weakened. That leads right into… “YEAAAAAA!” the boisterous cheers scale up the decibel charts when Krista finally engulfs Malaysia within her bethonged booty. The touch of Krista’s golden flesh is glorious pleasure, a firebrand on her nerves, almost painful in it’s intensity. Far from humiliated or hurt, Malaysia cups Krista’s perfectly shaped butt, enjoying their weight and the smooth silkiness of the skin. Krista jumps, electricity coursing through her veins. She starts to pant; her breathing coming in short sharp bursts as Malaysia’s hands awaken every inch of her skin. “OWWW!” Krista suddenly whelps, a result of Malaysia’s sharp fang like teeth puncturing through her tanned flesh. The dominatrix can’t control her frenzied urges, and gnaws away at Krista’s bottom. Krista can no longer take being treated like a tenderloin steak and pulls herself away from Malaysia’s teeth. “That’s it! I am about to bomb on you! I’m The Dark Knight, and you’re Catwoman starring Halle Berry!” That proclamation sends her darting towards Malaysia. But much to her horror the BDSM fanatic springs to furious life and slams her shoulder through her stomach with a spear! Despite her fitness queen abs, the attack hurts mightily, and Krista moans in misery. “That’s what I like to hear, baby.” Malaysia purrs in response to her opponent’s hurt groans. Desperate to inflict more pain on Krista, Malaysia tugs on her hair to bring her upright. Now standing, the blood rushes to Krista’s brain, and that energy spurs her to attack the queen of mean with a flurry of elbows to the midsection. They do enough damage to win her her freedom and she rushes to the ringropes. Bouncing back she shoots forward in a graceful cross body block. But the move is wasted as she lands right inside Malaysia’s arms. Malaysia lips curl into a devilish grin, and she drops down to crush Krista with a fall forward slam! COLE How can Krista overcome the speed and raw power of Malaysia? How can anyone? Clutching a sore back, Krista makes a frustratingly slow return to her feet. But there’s no chance for her to attack due Malaysia clamping her arms around her with a front waistlock. Instantly Krista exerts a hellish effort to slide herself through Malaysia’s bonds. But her struggle is futile and she’s required to take alternate steps. “Wait, honey, wait. Before you powerslam, press slam, or NBA jam, me hear me out, okay? If you knew that inflicting horrible, awful, soul shredding pain on me would save a child’s life would you do it?” “No. Never. Hell no!” “Of course not, because you’re a hateful bitch, and god bless ya for it. But somewhere out there in ABC’s wide world of sports is a little child sick with cancer, who loves you. And he and/or she, not sure what I meant by and/or but you’re squeezing the oxygen out me, they’re thinking, if you could be the first person to do the impossible and beat me 1 on 1, they’ll have hope that they can do the impossible beat this disease. Are you really going to let this child not die the miserable death they so richly deserve? “I hate children. They break too easily.” Malaysia creepily complains as she agrees and let Krista down. “You did the right thing. For yourself. And for the earth.” Krista soothes her. Less soothing is the knife edge chops she throws at Malaysia that sends her stacked bosoms heaving and bouncing. Taking great personal sacrifice she ceases her chopping in order to throw Malaysia into the ringposts. The Deadly Nerdly slams into the turnbuckles, drawing a gasp of exhaustion out her mouth and staggering her backwards. As she struggles to stay upright, Krista zips past her to the ropes. The cables bounce her back at full force, which she uses to throw Malaysia down with a nasty Blonds Never Pay a Cover (side effect)! The audience pops huge, but the move isn’t as devastating as they would’ve liked; Malaysia promptly rolls off the canvas. But Krista lies in wait and strikes her back down with a dropsault. She comes off the dropsault on her heels, then immediately flips upright with a breathtaking standing shooting star press. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista beams a red carpet smile towards her adoring audience as she glides to the pole. Her heels climb up the ring posts, and the audience’s cheers grow even more excited. Yet their celebration is a bit premature due to Malaysia storming towards Krista. A pair of vicious clubbing forearms smash into Krista’s spine, ending her ascent and causing her to cry in pain. Her weakened state allows Malaysia to grab onto her legs and lift her onto her shoulders in setup for a powerbomb. COLE The wrestler of the year in danger! But not for long, as she uses her amazing agility to peel over backwards and bring Malaysia down with a hurricanrana. However, her muscular legs can’t hold back Malaysia’s monster strength and the dominatrix uses it to push Krista back to the canvas. Her heart races and her blood thunders as her sexual soul is stirred by Krista’s angelic position. She shuffles forward to bring herself onto Krista’s face. Her hands rise to the soft curls of her hair, a sign of pounding ecstasy that already fills her. Her hot breath caresses her body, so close that Malaysia feels the backwash from each breath she exhales. “Oh, yeah! Give it to me. God, I love it. Ooooh, yes! Give me more!” Malaysia hollers. Krista’s fingertips were draws little diagrams on her captive’s inner thigh and, although not touching her groin, are sending fireworks up and down Malaysia’s left leg, Malaisya’s alabaster skin is flushed and her makeup is smudged with sweat. Krista stops, withdrawing her tongue for a moment, eliciting a groan from Malaysia’s lips. She teases her with a long, slow puff of air played out over the glistening wetness of her skin. And then suddenly she stops. There’s confusion from Malaysia as Krista uses all her might shove her away. Shocked by Krista’s sudden self control, referee Billy Silverman turns to her. SILVERMAN Are you okay? KRISTA SILVERMAN Krista? Are you okay? KRISTA :throwup: MALAYSIA :firedevil: KRISTA Understandably peeved over that slight, Malaysia rushes at Krista with arm raised in a lariat. But the wrestler of the year ducks bellow her weapon of choice. As they both angle their bodies towards the other Krista flurries her heel forward with a side kick. But Malaysia catches the expensive piece of footwear in her hands. The dominatrix groans a long, sustained agonized groan of full-bodied lust and then slides her tongue up and Krista’s thin ankles. Krista is as repulsed by foot fetishes as your fried P’OG and strikes a victory for us all with an enziguri! However, Malaysia manages to lower head just before it can be taken off by the lethal kick and Krista is forced into landing in a vulnerable position. The Deadly Babe is quick to take advantage of her poor spot by snatching her inside a waistlock and throwing her over with a release German Suplex! The pain is excruciating, leaving Krista feeling like its made ribbons of her back. COLE God, what a suplex! And what a statement Malaysia could make here if she beats the Angle Award winning wrestler of the year. A bitter laugh escapes Malaysia’s lips as she turns her back on her fallen foe and makes her way up the turnbuckles. Fingertips within mere centimeters of the dildo, Malaysia explodes with deep-throated cackles of triumph. But in an example of pride coming before the fall, Krista miraculously powerbombs her off the ropes. The OAOAST Marks pour out wild cheers as Malaysia touches down with a resonating thud. COACH You can’t let homegirl deny you like that! Bark like a dog and smush her face on like you Kevin Garnett and she a 5’9 euro! Krista pauses for a moment to lean against the ropes and let her breath come to her. It doesn’t arrive as fast as she would like, but with Malaysia stirring there’s little time to waste. She begins moving towards the ropes, but is held in place by a solid tug on her hair. Malaysia uses her pretty blond locks as a leash to yank her into an inverted facelock. Her cobalt eyes spewing hatred, she falls downward and hits and further damages Krista’s concussed head with an inverted DDT “MINE!” Malaysia screams pointing to the dildo. “I don’t care how much you scream in all caps that dildo is mine!” Krista announces, stomaching her pain. She then proves her point by kipping up and pointing an angry finger at Malaysia. The former women’s champion dismisses her with a sneer and continues to the turnbuckles. This is to her detriment; the GLAADiator runs forward and grabs her with a side headlock. Within moments Malaysia is being twisted and twirled before she’s dumped face first onto the ground by Krista’s stratusfaction. “BOOOOOO” hisses the audience, their joy for Krista’s comeback deflated by Melissa Nerdly rushing down the ramp. Ignoring the chants of “SLUT” from the audience Malaysia’s younger sister quickly scurries onto the apron to distract Krista. KID is no Woody Allen, as the Scarlet Johanssen lookalike has little effect on her. Thus all Melissa does is attract the attention of the referee, while she watches with dreading hurt as Krista climbs onto the top rope. “By taking this dildo I hereby vow and swear to uphold the holy noble truths and use it only for the greater good of pleasuring cute, Mexican girls that rack up charges on my credit with constant purchases of magic beans. This is my promise.” Krista finishes her solemn vow and takes on the heavy burden of being the one and only dildo bearer! COLE She got it! “It's gettin' it's gettin' it's gettin' it's gettin' it's gettin' It's gettin' it's gettin' it's gettin' its’ getting its getting’ kinda heavy Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh I’ve got the POWER!” This power that she speaks of is displayed through a dildo assisted top rope lariat aimed at a slowly rising Malaysia. But Malaysia’s speedless rise was only a ruse, a clever way of playing possum that allows her to easily catch across her shoulders in position for her Canandian Backbreaker Pilerdriver. The fans hold their breath and utter silent prayers for Krista’s safety. Those are prayers that don’t go unanswered as Krista slides down Malaysia’s back and brings her down with a crippler crossface! The dildo aids her by forcing itself into Malaysia’s mouth, stretching out her jaw, neck and shoulders! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” As much as Malaysia enjoys the kinky pain Krista has brought her, the shouts from her sister tell her she needs to focus on winning. And so reluctantly, she uses her awe inspiring muscle to roll through the hold. She moves back upright, cocking her fist to terrorize Krista. But she’s assaulted by a face full of boobies… MALAYSIA Malaysia blinks back her grogginess and with the ferocity of a werewolf, lunges at her enemy. But this attack proves fatal as the blond bombshell drives the dildo right into her mouth! Her whole body tenses, and for a moment Krista thinks she might throw her off, but she shudders visibly overcome by the erotic spell Krista’s cast. She has Malaysia suck it hard and fast, bobbing her head quickly on the dildo. She grabs her by the back of the head, Malaysia’s hips thrusting forward involuntarily, as she groaned. Krista moans in response, increasing Malaysia’s own arousal. She salivated all over its head and shaft until it was slimy-wet, and then, without any warning, rips it out of Krista’s hands. “My turn!” She bellows once again in her deep lioness roar, and then stabs the dildo at Krista’s throat. Fortunately (or unfortunately) Krista sidesteps the approaching sex toy. “Hey hey hey, I didn’t pay 35 dollars in GLAAD membership for forced oral and not to receive my gay cheese of the month. This month’s is the transsexual super cheese Monterey Jackie!” Malaysia hasn’t any interest in LGBT cheeses, and rushes forward to lower down the dildo like the sword of damacles. KRISTA TO MALAYSIA Krista picks the fallen dildo up, and with her face frozen in dramatic heroism, slowly turns into the camera. “Who’s got the power…I GOT THE POWER!” “YEAAAAA!” Krista wraps the dildo around a stunned Malaysia’s neck and uses the prop to pull her downwards as she leaps up with knees tucked into her chest. The KIDology bounces Malaysia off her knees onto the mats, leaving the ferocious tiger as harmless as a newborn kitten. While the audience celebrates an impending victory, Krista hooks Malaysia’s leg for a pin.. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Melissa dives into the ring! CROWD THREE! Melissa falls onto Krista but she’s a nanosecond to late, and the audience is allowed to throw a gargantuan pop into the air for Krista’s win. “In My Arms” returns to the arena sound system as the fans continue their cheering and applauding. BUFFER The winner…KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! The most wild celebrating is done by the Detroiters, as Krista’s victory party extends no further than sipping a martini and wiggling her booty at a few lucky fans. COLE Put it in the books! Concussion and all, Krista ends 2008 as the wrestler of the year, and starts 2009 defending that crown with a hard fought victory over her daughter’s old archenemies. And the Deadly Alliance finishes the night with 1-2 record. Not so great for the stable of the year.EULOGY BY REJECT COACH HA-HA! You were saying! The fans throw a maddened fit over what they’ve just seen, blasting Reject with heat that burns as hot as a furnace. He, however, only stares at Krista with a distant, frostbitten stare. However his emotionless response is deeply contrasted by Malaysia, who’s face fills with colour and life. She rises back upright, expanding her arms and roaring her queen of the jungle roar. COLE This is totally unnecessary! Unnoticed in Reject’s arrival and Malaysia’s return, Melissa had creeped outside. But her return back into the ring is within everyone’s eyes due to her bringing a chair with her. The tool is dropped in front of Krista, and Reject and Malaysia nod an agreement on an unspoken plan. He brings her upright, but merely does so to shove her into the arms of Malaysia. The Deadly Babe lifts Krista onto her shoulders and then smashes her head against the steel chair with a her dangerous pile driver finisher! “BOOOOOOO!” The audience may hiss and holler all they want, but there is nothing they can do to stop Reject and Malaysia from battering their victim with stomps. “YEAAAAAAAA!” What’s that cheer for? Why its for Tyler Bryant and SHAYNE BRAVE rushing to the ring! COACH Its good to see they changed pants and washed their hands before coming out here. The DA members scatter the moment the hometown heroes hit the ring, but with Krista left KO’ed in the center of the ring the damage is done. Melissa and Reject point menacing fingers at D*LUX while Malaysia licks her lips at the image of Krista’s wounded body. Tyler and Shayne stand on the ring ropes, loudly and courageously daring the DA to come and fight. “D*LUX! D*LUX! D*LUX!” COLE Thank god, Detroit’s very own D*LUX was here to rescue Krista. But Krista came into this match with a concussion and she’s not leaving it in any better shape.New Year's Spectacular6-MAN TAG TITLE MATCHTeam Heyross & Brock Ausstin challenge Cucaracha InternacionalNEXT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Backstage, we find a contented looking Jade Rodez-Duncan walking the hallways with her recently retained Women's Title around her shoulder. Jade hums away to herself as she pours herself a coffee from the concession table. But the humming stops and she suddenly freezes up, as a familar face pitches up next to her. And over her. Jade quickly puts down the coffee jug before her shaking hand spills any, before smiling up at BOHEMOTH, who lowers his orange-tinted sunglasses. BOHEMOTH Done with that? JADE ...uh... go ahead! Bo picks up the coffee jug himself, while Jade uses the coffee to hide the look on her face. She just about disguises the fact she burns her mouth taking a sip too. Good girl! BOHEMOTH Listen, congratulations. You did great out there tonight. JADE Oh, well, thanks. It was nothing special really. BOHEMOTH I dunno about that. I enjoyed it. Then again, it's about time that bitch got what's coming to her, whatever her name is this week. JADE Heh, yeah. Finishing pouring his coffee, Bo picks up a muffin to go with it. BOHEMOTH Anyway, Happy New Year. Bo leans forward and gives Jade a PECK ON THE CHEEK, much to her clear surprise, before re-lowering his sunglasses and walking off! Struggling not to hyper-ventilate Jade manages to play it cool until he's out of sight before her jaw suddenly drops. COLE Boy, 2009 just keeps getting better and better for Jade, doesn't it? Did that really just happen? COACH Jealous much? COLE Coming up next, the World 6-Man Tag Team Titles are on the line. Cucaracha Internacional to defend against Team Heyross and Brock Ausstin, themselves former 6-Man Tag Team Champions. This all started four weeks ago, when Quentin Benjamin was the victim of a completely unprovoked attack from the wild savage Faqu backstage. COACH To which Team Heyross have turned around and started some unprovoked war with Cucaracha Internacional. I mean, they said sorry! COLE Are you kidding? James Blonde may say he tried to play peacemaker, but from where I'm sitting he just tried to cover his hide. Trying to make out like it was no big deal and that Benjamin should just 'forget about it'? COACH Faqu didn't mean anything by it. He just gets over-excited sometimes. COLE You're almost as bad as Blonde is. If that were possible. Let's go to the ring. "Shine" by Collective Soul plays, bringing out a motivated looking Team Heyross. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall and is for the OAOAST WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Introducing the challengers. First, CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN... together, they are TTEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM... HHHHEEEEEEEYYYYYYYRRRRRROOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Into the ring slides Benjamin, Moss taking the route up the steel steps. They pose on the turnbuckles before pointing out to the entrance. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." "Punishment" by Biohazard hits and through the smoke filling the entrance way Brock Ausstin marches out. Brock hops back and forth for a few seconds before suddenly coming to life and making his way to the ring. BUFFER And their tag team partner. From Victoria, Minnesota... weighing two hundred, ninety pounds... BBRRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKK... AAUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Pyro BLASTS from all 4 ring posts as Brock leaps onto the ring apron from the arena floor. Luckily Team Heyross are off the turnbuckles by now, probably best I make that clear. COLE Brock Ausstin coming off maybe one of the biggest wins of his career last week, pinning Landon Maddix in the last OAOAST match of 2008. Will 2009 start as '08 left off for The Current Big Thing? Brock lines up with Team Heyross and they stand facing the aisle. As "The Church Of Hot Addiction" hits, the trio of Cucaracha Internacional make their way out, initially lead by James Blonde. Once he takes one look at the ring, Blonde suddenly decides to hang back beside Faqu, who holds his 6-Man Title between his teeth. Nathaniel Black marches right past the two of them, grumpy as ever. BUFFER And their opponents. Total combined weight, seven hundred and fourty seven pounds. Together, they represent Cucaracha Internacional and are the reigning, defending, OAOAST WORLD 6-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! The team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFFFAAAAAAAAQQQQQUUUUUUUU... and, their tag team partner, from London, England... NATHANIEL BLACK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black doesn't show fear in the face of the opposition, entering the ring without the back-up of his partners. Referee Mike Chioda keeps order as Black mouths off to the challengers. Faqu stomps up the ring steps and Blonde follows close behind him. Really close. Close enough for him to be shielded. COLE 2008 was a year of ups and downs for Cucaracha Internacional, but a year in which they won the 6-Man Tag Team Titles on three occassions, once with Todd Cortez in place of Nathaniel Black of course. COACH Which is why there's been ups and downs. He's a disruptive influence on everyone else. COLE In which case, why doesn't Landon just give Cortez what he wants and throw him out of Cucaracha Internacional? COACH He's got his reasons. COLE Yeah, fear for his life. To no surprise, Blonde stays out on the apron and as Team Heyross make a move forward he leans as far back as possible with Faqu held out in front of him. Brock cools the former World Tag Team Champions down a little and they relent, for now, leaving Brock and Black to start it out. *DINGDINGDING!* As the bell sounds Black squares up to Brock and they go forehead to forehead exchanging words. COLE A real battle of the bulls here, neither man budging. Giving Brock a shove, Black hits the ropes and delivers a shoulder block which Brock is able to absorb. The Current Big Thing just dares Black to try again, which he does, managing to knock Brock back a couple of steps. He stays on his feet though and the two square up again with Black PIEFACING Brock for getting too close to him. Brock decides after that to hit the ropes himself. A dropdown by Black evades the contact though and as Brock rebounds, Black charges into him with another shoulder. Brock is sent reeling backwards, but he comes right back off the ropes with a shoulder tackle of his own that knocks the Brit off his feet! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH Woah! COLE Big show of power from Brock! Brock grabs Black in a side headlock as he gets to his feet. A shot to the ribs softens him up a little. And then a second. Black then shoots Brock off the ropes, dropping his head looking for a backbody drop. Slamming on the brakes, Brock instead hooks Black up and delivers a vertical suplex. Cover... 1... 2... No! Keeping control of his opponent Brock makes the tag to Quentin Benjamin. After coming in off the top with an axehandle to the back, Benjamin opens Black up for a thrust kick to the midsection. COLE Cucaracha Internacional may have dominated possession of the 6-Man Titles in 2008, but let's not forget Brock and Team Heyross are former 6-Man Champions in their own right. And just like Cucaracha Internacional, they're a team with a bit of everything. Speed, power, technical ability, it's all there. Benjamin takes Black to the ropes and goes for an irish whip, but Black is able to reverse. As Benjamin comes back he goes down with a baseball slide right through the legs. Quentin then backpedals and comes back off the ropes again to knock Black down with a crossbody block... 1... 2... No! A wring of the arm looks to set up another tag, but Black drives a knee. And another. Black whips Benjamin to the ropes again and this time as he hits them, another knee is waiting, this time courtesy of James Blonde! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Benjamin quickly shrugs off the knee and wheels around to grab a hold of Blonde... but yet another knee blindsights him, Black charging in from behind! COLE From all angles Benjamin's getting hit and it started with a cheapshot from the outside by James Blonde! COACH No, I don't think so. JB was just showing somebody in the crowd those swag gold shoes of his and Quentin just happened to run into his knee. COLE Oh you guys are just full of excuses, huh? After clubbing Quentin with a few forearms, Black reaches out and tags in Faqu to a groan from the crowd. The Samoan gets psyched up by Blonde on his way in, as if he needed it. A wild attack up against the ropes is inflicted on Benjamin with his partners begging the referee to try and enforce some sort of rules. Faqu is backed up eventually, thanks in part to Blonde's words. COACH How's that deja vú taste Quentin? Faqu turns to the opposition corner and beats his chest, then turns around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and gets his chest beat by Benjamin's knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another! Looking for more momentum Benjamin comes off the ropes. Faqu swings out with a chop of his own, but Benjamin is able to sweep underneath. A clothesline is then also ducked, allowing Moss to get the blind tag. Coming back, Quentin takes off with a crossbody. And although Faqu catches him in his arms, a dropkick from Moss forces Benjamin down on top after all. COLE The former Tag Team Champions and Anderson Cup champions showing just why they're such a great team. Moss drops an elbow on the big Samoan. And a second. Going to the legs, an attempt at a kneebar is thwarted though as Faqu uses his powerful legs to push off. Moss rolls to his feet in his corner and tags Benjamin again. Together Team Heyross send Faqu for the ride, ducking a double clothesline and attacking those powerful legs with a double chopblock! Faqu goes down to his knees and is then faceplanted into the mat by his opponents. In rushes Black to try and help, but Team Heyross guide him up and over the top rope to the floor... and when James Blonde tries to come in, Brock starts to move in and he hightails it to the outside. COLE Boy, Blonde wants no part of Brock Ausstin. I can't say that I blame him. COACH Why should he want any part of him? They're not the legal men, incase the referee hadn't noticed! Together, Team Heyross come off the ropes with a double flying shoulder tackle which is enough to knock Faqu off his feet! Once referee Chioda has put Brock out, he does the same with Quentin. But that allows Nathaniel Black to sneak back into the ring... and LAY MOSS OUT WITH A LARIAT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Referee didn't see a thing. With Moss down, Blonde 'encourages' Faqu to give him the tag, which he does. Blonde comes in and puts his gold wrestling shoes to Moss repeatedly. "BLONDE SUCKS!" "BLONDE SUCKS!" "BLONDE SUCKS!" "BLONDE SUCKS!" Smirking, Blonde delivers a snap suplex on Moss and covers... 1... 2... No! Blonde delivers a measured right hand as Moss sits up. Backing away into a corner, Blonde gives Benjamin a mock thumbs up before delivering the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop from the second floor. BLONDE WHAT ABOUT IT NOW, DETROIT!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Before he can antagonize anyone else, if there's anyone left, Blonde accepts the tag from Black. The Englishman drags Moss away from his corner and rocks him with a European uppercut, then applies a 3/4 headlock to control him. COLE Black looking to slow things down and start dictating the pace, leading by example. He used to be the leader until Landon came along, makes you wonder what he's been thinking recently with Landon's tirades. And I don't think James Blonde ever looked at him 'that way' back then. COACH You mean with respect? COLE Yeah, sure, if you like. Black keeps Moss in check as he looks for an escape, then lets go to unload with an elbow smash. Irish whip sends Moss off, Black ducking down and driving a headbutt into the midsection to double Moss up. Black then takes a detour and lashes out at Brock and Benjamin, drawing them into the ring. Referee Chioda steps in, while James Blonde comes off the top rope with a knee to the side of the head on Moss! COACH A little Brand Labelling from The Trendsetter. Diving out of the ring Blonde starts up an innocent conversation at ringside, while Black covers Moss... 1... 2... No! Tag made, bringing Faqu back in. Moss is passed over to the Samoan and gets laid out with a headbutt. Laid flat out on the mat Moss is then struck in the chest with a sharp thrust. COLE Charlie Moss is in big trouble at this point. COACH About 300 pounds of trouble. Faqu sits Moss up and strikes him in the head, setting him down for a big legdrop! Cover by Faqu... 1... 2... NO! Faqu rants at the referee in his native tongue for not counting the three. Worried about a possible disqualification James Blonde calls his buddy over and tags himself in. Faqu continues ranting, even as Blonde delivers a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on his partner and opponent. Of course, opponent comes off the worst... 1... 2... ...but Moss kicks out. COLE That's some interesting 'teamwork' there. And by teamwork, I mean James Blonde using Faqu as a weapon, as always. COACH Hey, if you've got a Samoan skull, use it. Hardest substance known to man after diamond. Picking Moss back up, Blonde fires off a few jabs. With Moss rocked The Trendsetter then takes a moment to, for no reason, do a little shoulder shimmy. COACH Leon Rodez eat your heart out! Blonde hits the ropes, but gets caught on the rebound with an Inverted Atomic Drop! And Moss holds Blonde in place as Benjamin launches himself off the top with a Springboard Clothesline! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Come on, there was no tag there. COLE There was no tag from Black earlier either. You're very observant when it suits you. As Benjamin is put out, the referee is right next to Moss as he gets the tag to Brock Ausstin! And the crowd go wild as Brock comes in and knocks Blonde down with a clothesline. In comes Black to taste a clothesline. And Faqu comes in as well, Brock driving him backwards with an elbow. Faqu bounces out of his team's corner unaffected though and beats his chest, looking to charge Brock. Backpedalling, Brock lures him in and ducks down as Benjamin flies with a Missile Dropkick!! COLE And down goes the big Samoan! Right back up, Faqu finds himself put to the floor as Benjamin SPRINTS into him with a clothesline. Both men go up and over the top rope, but Benjamin hangs on and skins the cat. Benjamin waits for Faqu to get back up, then LAUNCHES HIMSELF OVER THE TOP WITH A PESCADO!!! COLE A little bit of payback from Quentin to Faqu! In the ring, Brock catches Blonde with a Powerslam... 1... 2... NO! Brock waits for Blonde to get back up... but from behind, Black pounces with forearms. The Englishman clubs away on Brock repeatedly with Blonde eventually joining in. Together, they send Brock off the ropes with an irish whip. It's there that the teamwork breaks down though, as Blonde's eagerness to try and get at the front of the queue leads to them both getting wiped out with a Double Clothesline! COLE A little miscommunication from the Champions. And Brock makes them pay. COACH Get it together guys. Landon's watching you know. Grabbing Black and pitching him to the floor, Brock turns his attentions to Blonde again and looks for the finish. Blonde staggers to his feet and Brock sets him on his shoulders for the F-STUNNER-5.... ...but Blonde squirms free! As Brock turns around, The Trendsetter quickly catches the head and sits out with a Jawbreaker. A fancy roll backwards puts Blonde on his feet and he charges in... but Brock catches him and LAUNCHES the Canadian halfway across the ring with an Overhead Belly To Belly Suplex!!! COLE WOW! It looked like Blonde just got shot out of a cannon! Brock crawls over and hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! With Blonde struggling to get to his feet, Brock comes off the ropes ready to meet him. However, Black jumps to the apron to cut him off with a knee to the back, then delivers a European uppercut from the outside. A hiptoss then dumps Brock outside in a heap and a fight breaks out on the floor between the two. COLE We've got a fight on the floor, but look in the ring, Team Heyross ready to pounce! Having slid back inside, Benjamin and Moss lay in wait as Blonde dusts himself off. When Blonde turns around Moss dodges past him. That causes Blonde to do a double-take and turn again, leaving himself prone for the DOUBLE GOOZLE~!~!~1#!# "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Endgame's coming! COACH Come on JB, think of Landon and the strength will follow! Benjamin signals for Moss to 'take him up' and he exits to the apron. The crowd rise to their feet as Moss lifts Blonde to his feet and starts to take him up into the electric chair. But, before Benjamin can take flight, he gets RIPPED off the apron and HURLED into the announce table by Faqu!! COLE OH JEEZ! The ever-cowardly Double C take cover behind their sofa as Faqu starts ripping it to shreds in a fit of rage! Rolling out of the ring, Moss tries to grab a hold of Faqu, but gets a DESKFAN TO THE FACE!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The bell sounds and although the crowd don't like it, they can't really complain once Faqu has dumped the top section of the table onto the head of Quentin Benjamin. The Samoan nudges the table aside with his hefty hips and grabs onto the sofa next and sends Coach and Cole further scurrying for help. Both referee Chioda and James Blonde leave the ring to try and reason with Faqu, but he's not listening and tips the sofa on top of Team Heyross!! And then, the timekeeper's table, luckily bouncing off of the sofa rather than Moss or Benjamin's skulls. People cower for cover as Faqu picks up a steel chair by the legs and holds it over his head, ready to add that to his pile of furniture, but luckily James Blonde is able to step in front of him before he can. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" The quick-talking Blonde finally manages to talk reason to Faqu and the Samoan tosses the chair aside, still staring down at Team Heyross. Referee Chioda yells at Blonde to get the Samoan out of here and almost gets charged by the raging bull, but Blonde steps in again and manages to lead Faqu away. Nathaniel Black helps out there and they escort Faqu around ringside with Blonde desperately trying to keep him calm. At least until he remembers they've left the belts behind, then he bolts back and steps over the fallen Team Heyross to grab them before Brock can take a swipe at him. BUFFER (sounding shaken) Ladies and gentlemen... the referee has ruled this match, as a result of a disqualification, to TEAM HEYROSS and BROCK AUSSTIN!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BUFFER However, the titles do not change hands... therefore still OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions, CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Blonde manages a quick cheer before going back to sooth-saying his Samoan pal. In the chaotic mess at ringside, Brock lifts the sofa off of his tag partners and checks they're okay after the beating they've just taken.Lethal Rumble match; winner receives OAOAST Title shot at AngleMania VIIILIVE! SUNDAY NIGHT, JANUARY 25th EXCLUSIVELY ON PAY-PER-VIEW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Backstage in the lavishly decorated Enterprise dressing room (I feel sorry for the dude who has to redecorate a new room every week!) Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo are in the middle of a conversation with an unseen third party. WRIGHT I dare not place fate within the hands of untested carriers. And yet my choices are limited. The enforcement of the law is a thing rarely done inside the OAOAST, and if done it is rarely done well. To turn to you though… LORELEI What we’re saying is that when it comes to investigations the OAOAST is hell. Its Escape From New York Hell. Its Mad Max hell. There’s no law and no order. Few people want to see the right criminals brought to justice. WRIGHT It is why men such as Bohemoth are given free domain upon gentle sprits such as I. Why creatures of filth are emboldened to brandish weapons against angels of piety. It extracts tears from even the most brutish of knave. LORELEI For that reason, its takes a person with the strength of Herclues and skin thicker than iron to handle these lawless maniacs. You seem nice. But that’s the problem. You can’t be nice with these people. Ever. Plus, well, we know your family. I know them very well and I don’t like them. At all. I hate them in fact. That gives me pause on hiring you. But, Mister Moneymaker said to hire the best. And supposedly that’s you, Morgan Nerdly. The camera swings around to reveal Morgan Nerdly. LORELEI It still befuddles me how a Nerdly can be the best at anything, besides being an obnoxious nusicance. MORGAN What my sisters and brothers do, has nothing to do with me. If you’ve got a problem with them then well, its with them. Even if you can’t separate me from the others you need me. LORELEI We do? Why is that? MORGAN Because I am one heck of a private investigator. So if you really wanna know who tried to blow up Mister Moneymaker’s limo and who stole his award, then I’m your girl. Nerdly or not. WRIGHT It is a day fraught with regret and lament that the right and just have not heard a call to arms when my good leige’s vehicle was destroyed. Instead the baboons amongst us continued their tiresome prattling and shenanigans while a symbol of strength toiled in flames. How now have these fiends thieved away a man’s rightful recognition of excellence! They are fools who know not what they do! Even still ignorance of the law is no excuse and punisheded they must be. MORGAN If you mean any of what you say, you’ll put me on the job. LORELEI You’ve got some attitude about you. That’s a good thing, because the morons here are going to give you plenty of it. MORGAN I have…ways of dealing with people with attitude. LORELEI In that case, welcome to Enterprise Inspector Nerdly. Malibu immediately goes after Moneymaker, but Moneymaker spins the ref around and shoves him towards Zack, telling him to keep him back as the bell hasn't rung yet. Charles Robinson obliges and tries to do his job by keeping the opponents apart until the bell sounds...but Moneymaker leans over his shoulder and slaps Malibu across the face, further drawing his ire! Malibu shoves Robinson aside and goes after Moneymaker, but the wily one ducks out of the ring and yanks Alison in front of him, using her as a human shield to protect himself from the prep's wrath! Malibu looks to head out of the ring, but Robinson pulls him back and asks him to stay in the ring, then calls for the bell. DING! DING! DING! COLE Here we go, Coach. This one has a lot of history behind it, and it was a long time coming, but here it is. Zack Malibu and Theodore Moneymaker, finally one on one in the ring together! COACH It took a damn bribe to get here! That Malibu is a shady character, Mikey Cole, with all his backdoor dealings. COLE Backdoor dealings? Coach he handed Josie the money on an episode of HeldDOWN~! broadcast worldwide! Moneymaker comes up the steps slowly, smiling at Malibu in true villanous fashion. Zack is not impressed, however, and as Moneymaker steps through the ropes, Zack comes over and grabs him, bringing him into the ring and rocking him with a flurry of forearm shots! Moneymaker gets sent to the ropes, then sent high up in the air with a back bodydrop that shakes the ring when he lands! As the soreness encompasses his body, Moneymaker gets up, only to be blasted with one of Malibu's trademark leaping lariats! Zack goes to bring ol' Teddy back to his feet, but Moneymaker rolls away as quickly as he can, again escaping to the comforts of ringside! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Moneymaker scolds the fans, then turns to see Zack ducking out of the ring after him! Moneymaker begs off, backing up around ringside before rolling back into the ring. Zack follows, and Moneymaker rushes him, looking to deliver a cheapshot of some sort...but Zack slides into the ring and immediately tackles him at the legs! Zack moves into a mount and starts delivering hard elbows as Moneymaker desperately tries to cover up, but he's not doing that good of a job! Zack brings him up and runs him to the corner, then smashes him face first into the top buckle! He then sets Moneymaker up in the corner and climbs up onto the middle rope, delivering punch after punch with fury...until Moneymaker carries him off and delivers an inverted atomic drop! Zack reels from it, then gets hit with a clothesline, and Moneymaker starts putting the boots to the downed Malibu, stomping him as he lay on the canvas! He pulls Malibu up and fires him off into the ropes, but when Moneymaker drops his head, Zack responds by countering with a seated dropkick to the crown of his skull! Moneymaker rolls around on the canvas holding his head, and when he comes up he's sent back to the floor, this time courtesy of Malibu as he nails his foe with a lariat that splatters him at ringside! COLE Well, Moneymaker is quite fond of being out of the ring, so Zack did him a favor there! COACH Real clever, Mikey Cole. Alison heads over to check on Moneymaker, while Malibu runs the ropes and comes at him with a baseball slide...but Alison yanks on Teddy's arm and pulls him out of harm's way! The crowd boos loudly as Alison stands in front of Moneymaker and scolds Zack, telling him to get back, then turns to Moneymaker and encourages him to "end him once and for all!" She moves away from Moneymaker, but as soon as she does Zack comes FLYING with the Apron Run Diving Clothesline, and then once again uses a mount and hammers on Moneymaker! He pulls him up and sends him crashing into the ringside barrier, but when Zack charges in, Moneymaker drives a boot into his face! Zack staggers, and Moneymaker scoops his legs out from under him and drives his boot into Zack's lower region, then walks with a swagger in his step as he takes a few deep breaths, happy about his dirty deed. COLE Zack just got the wind knocked out of him there! Teddy pulls Zack up, but Malibu comes back with chops, laying them into Moneymaker's chest until he gets taken by the head and slammed into the ring apron! Moneymaker then leans Zack against the apron and hits a series of his own chops, until Malibu fires back again, this time with right hands! Moneymaker gets dazed, and Zack tosses him back into the ring. He sets up for a springboard, but as he leaps up, Moneymaker comes up and shoves him back down! Zack lands on both feet, on the apron, but Moneymaker snares his head and brings him over the ropes with a suplex...but Zack slips out and lands behind him! He tries for the ANGLE SLAM~!, but Moneymaker dodges it, slipping out and then hooking Zack's arm in an attempt to apply the BANK VAULT~! Zack squirms and reaches back, bringing Moneymaker down with a jawbreaker to stop that! He takes Moneymaker and brings him to the corner, ramming his head into the top turnbuckle numerous times before bringing him out of the corner, only to whip him to the far side! Zack races across the ring and leaps up, delivering a crushing corner splash to his foe! Moneymaker then gets hoisted up onto the top rope, but as Malibu follows up, Moneymaker shoves him off! Zack catches himself and lands on his feet, but Moneymaker connects with a double axehandle off the ropes, taking Zack off his game while he collapses to his knees, needing a moment's rest! He brings Zack up and traps him in a side headlock, and wrenches the head, then drives a fist into the crown of Zack's head! Zack backs away, and Moneymaker grabs him in a headlock again, using the same tactic to stun the popular prep. Zack stumbles back against the ropes, and he's brought up to his feet and sent racing across the ring, caught for a sideslam but floats over into a Russian legsweep on Moneymaker! Zack drapes himself across Teddy after catching him off guard, and waits to hear the ref's hand hit the canvas! ONE! T-KICKOUT! A shoulder comes up quite easily for Moneymaker, but now it's Zack who looks to control the tempo of the contest. Zack brings Moneymaker up and delivers a kick, but his leg gets caught by Moneymaker! Quickly, Malibu connects with an enzugiri, and the big-mouthed billionaire flops to the canvas facefirst, then rolls out of the ring to avoid any further harm! COLE Zack's turning the tide on this one, and there, yet again, Theodore Moneymaker scurries away from confrontation! COACH The man is PACING HIMSELF, Mikey Cole. Ain't no need for him to go all kamikaze. Battles take place in the mind, not just the ring! COLE Well, that was...profound, Coach. Alison looks Moneymaker over, and the fans boo his avoidance of Zack, causing him to grow angrier. Holding his head, he walks around ringside, going so far as to whack a beer out of a man's hand. He has words with the fan, but the referee comes darting out of the ring to prevent any harm from coming to the ticket buyer. COLE Here we go with the fighting fans again! Moneymaker turns away from the ruckus, and that's when Zack LAUNCHES himself through the ropes, crashing into Moneymaker with a beautiful tope! He climbs on Moneymaker and brings the fury~!, leveling him with punch after punch before bringing him up to his feet and ordering the fan to pick up the remainder of the beer...AND THROW IT IN MONEYMAKER'S FACE~! COACH That shit ain't cool! The fans roar at the act, a small piece of payback for Moneymaker's constant attempts to brainwash them against Malibu, and certainly for attacking the fan last week. Moneymaker staggers around ringside, wiping his face off in the referee's shirt, which draws a "what the hell!!?" reaction from Charles Robinson! Moneymaker then turns around and gets rocked with another right hand, then whipped into the guardrail! He crashes in, and Malibu winds himself up, then charges him...only for Moneymaker to move! Zack crashes into the railing, and then Moneymaker rams him headfirst into the steel steps out of desperation! COLE I have a feeling this is going to get ugly! Robinson comes over and orders Moneymaker back into the ring, but Alison comes over and tries to get at Zack, drawing his attention away from Moneymaker! The blonde haired referee becomes preoccupied with Alison, and that's exactly what was wanted, because Moneymaker now picks up the steps and rams them into Zack's head, dropping him back down to the cold ringside floor! COLE He just coldcocked Zack with the ring steps! Moneymaker throws the steps down, looking down as the blood starts to seep out of Zack's forehead and cover his face. Robinson turns away from Alison and looks down at Zack, then notices the steps out of place. He asks Moneymaker what he did, but Moneymaker doesn't answer, cold shouldering the referee as he picks Malibu up. Moneymaker holds Zack at bay, displaying him to the fans, asking if this was their hero, right before running him over to the steps and smashing Zack's head into it again! The pain pounds through Zack's skull as he lay hunched over the stairs...and then Moneymaker takes it one step further by raking Zack's head across the rigid steel! A puddle of red has formed on the metal as Zack is pulled away again, and Robinson has seen enough, ordering Moneymaker to get back in the ring. Leaving Zack to suffer on the outside, Moneymaker climbs back into the ring and taunts the crowd, causing them to collectively jeer him as their hero tries to bounce back. COLE Theodore Moneymaker is loving this! COACH And why shouldn't he, Mikey Cole? Zack's a hater, plain and simple, and now he's finding out the hard way that the fight that he wanted isn't gonna go in his favor! Zack struggles, but grabs the ropes and starts to pull himself up onto the apron, but a baseball slide by Moneymaker sends him staggering back into the railing! Moneymaker goes to exit the ring again, but Patrick has had enough, and keeps him back. This is the perfect opening for Alison to rush over and get physical, as she takes Zack and uses the guardrail to try to choke him out, as she forces his throat down on it! COLE Come on now! Alison acts quickly, then moves away, avoiding the referee and keeping him out of the loop as far as what she's doing. Zack falls to the floor, clutching his throat and coughing as he tries to breathe normally. Moneymaker comes to the ropes again, and this time pushes Patrick aside, then goes and seizes Zack from the floor, bringing him back into the ring. An elbowdrop connects to the back of Malibu's neck and keeps him on the mat. Moneymaker then seats himself on Zack's back and wrenches his head back, using a camel clutch to crank his neck back as the blood drips down his face, forming a crimson mask! Robinson checks in on Zack, but he is able to mutter the word "no" when asked if he plans on quitting. Moneymaker pulls back on Zack's head, forcing more pressure on his neck, as Alison looks through the ropes, telling Zack to "just give it up". Malibu won't surrender, so Moneymaker hits a seated splash to his lower back, then uses a camel clutch again, trapping the wounded superstar in a precarious position! Charles Robinson keeps his eye on the situation, while the fans begin their rally, hoping to motivate the former World Champion. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Moneymaker continues to use the clutch, but then breaks it on his own accord, and drops another elbow across the back of Zack's neck. He plants a knee in the base of Zack's spine, then uses a chinlock to wrench Zack's head back again. Malibu tries to crawl out from the hold, and is slowly able to power up...but Moneymaker turns it into a headlock takeover, bringing Malibu back down to the canvas, but Zack uses a leg scissors to pull Moneymaker off of him! Moneymaker hurries to get up after the quick counter, and grabs Malibu for a neckbreaker...but as he twists him around, Zack hooks his arms and brings him down to the canvas with a backslide! ONE! TWO! NO! The fans applaud, proud to see Zack with enough fight left in him to put Moneymaker thisclose from defeat. Zack starts to come to, but Moneymaker grabs him, only to be fired into the ropes and sent airborne with a huge back bodydrop! Zack falls against the ropes, trying to regain his senses long enough to mount a comeback against his rival. Moneymaker comes up, and Zack rushes up behind him, hooking the waist...but Moneymaker counters and moves behind him, using a German suplex, but continuing to roll to his feet, pulling Zack up for a second one...AND COMPLETELY MOCKING ZACK BY USING HIS OWN TRADEMARK AGAINST HIM! COACH HA~! COLE What a cocky bastard. The crowd boos loudly as they come up to their feet, but Zack keeps himself grounded and fires back a pair of elbows, then snapmares Moneymaker over, stopping his mockery. A series of hard soccer kicks to Moneymaker's back follows, turning it as red as a rose, and then Zack pulls him up and uses the chain of suplexes on him, starting with one German and following up with two more, as the crowd roars! Slowly, Malibu rolls them up to a standing position for a fourth suplex, but Moneymaker struggles, then kicks a leg back, giving Zack a low blow! He then turns and hits a quick DDT and covers, hooking the leg as to not take any chances with the man known to be extremely resilient. ONE! TWO! NO! The resiliency shines through in spades, as the bloody Malibu forces his shoulders up, not to be defeated by the man seeking control of the OAOAST. Moneymaker pulls Zack up, but Zack grabs a waistlock and quickly carries him over with a Northern Lights suplex, surprising the fans with this attempt at victory! ONE! TWO! NO! Moneymaker kicks out, and as he and Zack get up, he doubles Zack over with a knee, then whips him hard into the corner! Moneymaker charges in, but Malibu kicks a leg up, smashing Moneymaker's cheek in with the bottom of his boot! The hated superstar staggers back, while Zack climbs the ropes, executing a picture perfect moonsault bodyblock that wipes his opponent out! Both men lay on the canvas, mentally and physically exhausted, as Charles Robinson looks on. COLE Great high-risk move by Zack that paid off, and now it's coming down to whichever man can make it to his feet! The crowd begins to rally, and Malibu himself starts to pound on the canvas with both hands, leading the rally before pushing himself up to his knees to a big pop! Bloody, but not beaten, Zack brings Moneymaker up and strikes him with a chop across the chest, and another, and a third backs him into the corner! He goes up onto the middle rope and starts hammering Teddy with punches, only to be shoved off...which Malibu responds to by rocking him with a European uppercut! The dazed businessman staggers against the ropes, then finds himself sent across the ring, crashing into the opposite corner...then has both of Zack's knees driven into his chest, as Malibu runs full throttle across the ring and delives a ZACK ATTACK II to Moneymaker! Moneymaker staggers, and Zack follows up with a high knee in the corner, then lifts Moneymaker up onto the ropes. Zack follows him up, and brings Moneymaker onto his shoulders, leaping from the ropes down into the ring, rolling his body so that he delivers a crushing HONOR ROLL~! to his rival! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! KICKOUT BY MONEYMAKER! COLE SO close! That fire is raging inside Zack Malibu, and Moneymaker is taking the brunt of it right now! Again looking to stay on top of things, Zack brings Moneymaker up, then hoists him up for an ANGLE SLAM~!, but Moneymaker slides out of it, then shoves Zack forward...and he bonks heads with Robinson, then stumbles back and bangs heads with Moneymaker! All three men fall to the canvas holding their heads in agony, and now this grudge match is without a referee! COACH Everyone's down! COLE Charles Robinson just got his bell rung, and Zack and Moneymaker are still hurting as well! Zack and Moneymaker come to, and they start trading punches, each man firing off a shot like in an Old West duel! Moneymaker quickly thumbs Zack in the eye, then shoots him to the ropes, but Zack counters and yanks him into an inverted atomic drop...AND BLASTS HIM WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT~! before falling on top of him for the pin! ONE! TWO! THREE! ...is what the fans are counting, because there's no referee to do it! Charles Robinson is still out on the canvas, as Zack lay on Moneymaker, pinning his arch rivals shoulders to the canvas. Zack calls out to Robinson, trying to wake him without breaking his pin, and then suddenly... WHACK! ...Malibu is blasted across the back with a steel chair by ALISON, who has entered the ring! COACH Oh MAN, did you hear that shot? COLE After all these months, now she's certainly picking her spot, isn't she!? Zack rolls off Moneymaker, his back aching after that shot. Alison puts the chair down and starts to drag Moneymaker on top of Zack, when suddenly a HYOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE pop echoes through the building. BECAUSE CANDIE IS RUNNING TO THE RING~!~!~!~!~!~! COLE It's CANDIE! COACH No way! Alison is shocked to see Zack's significant other slide into the ring, but that shock quickly turns to pain as she is SPEARED INTO NEXT WEEK! Candie then reigns hell down upon Alison, ramming her head into the canvas before pulling her up to her feet and running her face first into the turnbuckles! Alison drops to the canvas, groggy, and tries to crawl away, but Candie grabs her by the hair, pulls her up to her feet, and whips her through the air by her hair, sending her face first to the canvas! COLE She has badmouthed Candie for months, she has gone after Zack, and now justice is being served to Alison here tonight! Candie picks Alison up and tosses her out to the floor, watching her splat at ringside. With her attention focused on the former In Crowd valet, Candie doesn't notice Moneymaker coming up behind her...not until she turns around and encounters him face to face! Candie gets frightened, as Moneymaker cackles while stalking her...but Candie's presence is enough to distract him, as Malibu comes up behind him and hits him with the ANGLE SLAM~!~! COLE HE GOT HIM! Zack covers, and Candie hurries to wake Charles Robinson up, alerting him of the pin! Still dazed, Robinson struggles to get there, and starts to make the count slowly! ONE! TWO! THREE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! KICKOUT! COACH Did he get him? He didn't get him, did he? COLE Sadly, no! Candie looks on in shock, having been sure that Zack would have gotten him. Malibu gets up and turns, only now realizing that his longtime girlfriend has come to aid him...and they embrace in the center of the ring! Zack and Candie get a huge pop from the crowd...but Alison returns to the ring and clubs her down from behind! Alison attacks, and Zack goes to stop her...but as he does, Moneymaker creeps up behind him and rolls him up with a schoolboy, grabbing a handful of tights as well! COLE HE'S GOT THE TIGHTS! The girls roll out under the bottom rope, brawling for all its worth as a slew of referees come down to break them up, while Charles Robinson only notices Zack being pinned down! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE No...COME ON! COACH Haha! Outsmarted once again! Zack Malibu just can't catch a break! As soon as the bell sounds, Moneymaker rolls out of the ring, and amidst the melee at ringside, he plucks Alison away from it all and the duo raise their hands, as "Sympathy For The Devil" airs loudly. BUFFER Here is your winner...THEEEEEEEEEEEEDORE MOOOOOOOOOOOOONEYMAAAAAAAAAAAAKERRRRRRRRRRR! Moneymaker laughs loudly, having gotten the last laugh here tonight. Alison looks all too pleased, even in her disheveled state, as Zack rests on his knees, peering through the ropes at the two of them. Candie comes back into the ring and puts a hand on Zack's shoulder, and the happy couple are all but happy tonight, as victory was just stolen by the leader of The Enterprise. COLE Zack Malibu had that match won, plain and simple, but that conniving SOB pulled the rug out from under him! COACH Don't be sore, Mikey Cole. I'm sure Zack will bounce back in some other way now that he's learned he can't beat ol' Teddy Moneymaker! COLE I don't think he wants to beat him anymore, Coach. I think this is going way beyond that now. At the top of the ramp, Moneymaker and Alison take a bow, drawing more hatred and venom from the fans who feel their hero was screwed. Candie hugs her bloody beau in the ring, and the two of them continue to eye Alison and Moneymaker as we fade to commercial here tonight at the New Year's Spectacular.New Year's SpectacularTHE NEW CHAMP IS HERELeon Rodez defends the OAOAST ChampionshipNEXT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is set for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Ghosts" by Ladytron hits and Jereme simply walks out. Hey, I'm just going by what I'm given. BUFFER From Marseille, France... weighing one hundred, ninety pounds... he is the OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION... JJJJJEEEEERRRRREEEEMMMMMMMEEEEEEE... GGRRRRRREEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Jereme Grey, the Intercontinental Champion, not getting a great reaction from the crowd. COACH Let's be honest now, nobody's here to see Jereme Grey. This is all about Leon. I mean, it's been built up as 'Leon Rodez vs. Opponent', they could have thrown out some homeless hobo off the streets and he'd have got the same reaction. And stood the same chance of winning. As if to prove the point, all eyes are focused on the entrance way, an excitement building over the dramatic pause. Before a BOOMING reaction echoes through the arena as the drums kick in on "Rock The Casbah". The Detroit crowd positively erupting as Leon Rodez spins through the entrance way with a beaming smile on his face. Shooting a finger to the sky, Rodez undoes his robe to reveal the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship that lies beneath, then begins to jig his way on down the aisle, tagging hands with his left. BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen introducing his opponent! From Grand Rapids, Michigan!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Weighing two hundred, eighteen pounds. "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, he is your OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!!"YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE HOLY CRAPOLA, WHAT A REACTION!! Leon makes his way around the entire ring on his hand-slapping journey, eager not to miss out any of his fans, at least the ones who bought tickets in the first two or three rows. Once he's done his full lap Leon jumps to the ring apron and soaks in the atmosphere for a moment before entering the ring. COLE What must Leon Rodez be feeling right now, to have this sold out crowd in his hometown going wild, returning as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion? COACH Dude, he's not even from Detroit. He's from Grand Rapids. COLE Well... uh... it's close enough. As the title is shown to the crowd by the referee, Leon disrobes which is apparantly a much more interesting sight to the females in the crowd. Blushing at the loud shriek that goes up Leon teases the crowd by putting the robe back on, only to slip it off seconds later to another howl. *DINGDINGDING!* "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The smiling World Champion waves to acknowledge the crowd, before it's time to get down to business. He and Jereme size each other up and then lock up. A quick side headlock is scored by the challenger, but Leon quickly throws him off the ropes. Jereme hits a shoulder tackle, but Leon pops right back up as he carries off the ropes again and counters with a hiptoss! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Boy this crowd are fired up. Detroit hasn't had much to cheer in the past 6 months, I've got a feeling they're going to make the most of every opportunity tonight. Jereme lays on the mat for a few seconds before surprising everybody with a kip-up. Leon just looks at him like "are you for real?" and sweeps his legs out to knock him back down. COLE Jereme's not going to show Leon up tonight. Stomping back to his feet Jereme starts to complain about the mis-treatment, so Leon calmly listens to what he has to say, before sweeping out his legs again. Jereme is mad and gets caught with a side headlock takeover. 1... 2... Shoulder up. Leon pushes him back down... 1... 2... Other shoulder up. Letting go of the headlock Leon locks up the knuckles instead, forcing both shoulders onto the mat... 1... 2... BRIDGE! Some of the crowd are impressed, but Leon evidently isn't. He sweeps away the legs again and drops an elbow making Jereme's show of strength null and void. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" As the crowd break out into another chorus of approval for their favourite son, Grey gets back to his feet. Again he marches forward, but again he pays for it... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...this time with a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" COACH I wonder if Jereme brought his white flag. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" COACH You know, cause he's French? *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" COLE Yeah, I got it. An irish whip sends Jereme to the ropes, Leon swinging and missing with a back elbow. He reacts quickly though, catching Jereme off the far side with an Overhead Suplex! Cover... 1... 2... No! Leon swings with his elbow again but Jereme ducks underneath and takes hold of the other arm, using it to whip the World Champion to the ropes. His subsequent charge is met with a knee to the face though. Running out of the corner Leon brushes past the challenger and tumbles forward, delivering the Shack Attack!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Cover again... 1... 2... No! Pulled back up, Jereme is measured... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chopped again. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and again. LEON C'MON BABY! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" As Leon stops to fire the crowd though, it gives Grey an opening to RAKE THE EYES! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE This partisan crowd in Detroit booing Jereme Grey which I'm sure he's not used to. COACH He should be used to it if he's French. Nobody likes the French. COLE Touché. COACH Hey, don't be comin' with no French shit with me pard'ner! Jereme clubs Leon with a couple of forearms after the cheap reversal of fortune, then steps behind and looks to execute a German suplex. He tries once, twice, three times, all to no avail. A quick switch suddenly puts Leon in danger of a snap suplex instead. But Leon pulls Jereme down with a small package... 1... 2... No! Rushing back to his feet Jereme blindsights Rodez with a boot to the back of the head. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The World Champion looks to draw off the crowd as Jereme drives the point of his elbow across the neck a couple of times. Picking Leon up, Grey then slams the elbow into the jaw. And again. Off the ropes comes Jereme, looking for momentum behind a clothesline. Ducked by Leon! Coming to a stop, Jereme turns around and eats a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Jereme in the back of the head with the enziguri! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Momentum carries Jereme to his feet, but a drop toehold puts Grey throat first across the middle rope. Jumping to his feet, Rodez then delights the Detroit crowd with a weird sort of jig before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving his weight into the spine of the challenger! COLE And Call That Bitch Bojangles! With Jereme on dream street, Leon hoists him onto his back and jacks his jaw with the backpack stunner! COLE BANANA HAMMOCK! Boy, we're seeing all the old favourites tonight! Leon makes the pin... 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh boy, Jereme was saved by ring positioning right there, no way he was kicking out. In an attempt to buy some time Jereme rolls underneath the bottom rope. Leon won't allow that to happen and grabs onto Jereme's ankle, but the Frenchman kicks him off and retreats to the outside. Make your own jokes at this point. The World Champ looks a little frustrated at this, with victory so close at hand and he reaches to try and pull Jereme back inside... but gets caught with a surprise ace crusher, hanging his throat across the middle rope! COLE Ooh! Leon got caught! Jereme motions to the crowd, forgetting they hate him. He then springboards to the top and soars in... right down across Leon's knee with an inverted atomic drop! COLE OOH LA LA~! With Jereme hurting, Leon rolls him up... 1... 2... NO! Back up, Leon watches Jereme getting to his feet. COLE Uh-oh. What could Leon have in mind here? COACH I dunno but I'm sure these idiots'll cheer it, whatever it is. Haven't shut up all damn match. As Jereme turns around Leon trips him and goes for the Liontamer! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Told ya. COLE Leon looking for the submission, can he get it? With Jereme's legs hooked Leon tries to turn him but the Frenchman manages to struggle against it. Leon tries to turn him the other way, but again Jereme is able to block it somehow. Kicking and squirming, Jereme is able to stop Leon from getting a good hold on him. And eventually he manages to get his legs free and apply the TRIPOD!! COACH He's trying to teabag him! COLE No, that's the Triangle Choke Coach. COACH Oh. Man, MMA is so Ghey. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd fear for Leon as he's locked in the choke... ...but just as quickly, he's out of the choke, breaking apart the legs and LOCKING IN THE LIONTAMER!!!! COLE HE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN! Jereme struggles for a second, before giving in! *TAPTAPTAPTAP* *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COLE DETROIT, WUT!? To a massive response from the crowd Leon throws Jereme's legs aside and raises his arms in a triumphant homecoming victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... and STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLLLEEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Leon takes his World Title belt from the referee and amidst a sea of flashbulbs he hoists it over his head, smiling from ear to ear. COLE Leon Rodez returns to Detroit a World Champion and he leaves Detroit a World Champion! General Motors... Kid Rock... The Supremes... Tom Selleck... this one was for you! Leon's celebrations continue as the closing credits roll.FADE OUT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts