OAOAST IntenseZone - 6/9/03

[Chanel #99]

A black screen...fading into the familiar IntenseZone logo...fading into shots of action from last week...VINCE MCMAHON MASK stuns the crowd and the Masked Man...the new Featured Attraction crush some jobbers...Banky and Dangerous A get it on...Jay retains the NA title....fading into the large face of Jim Ross.

The camera quickly backs off.

JR: Good evening everybody and welcome to another stacked edition of OAOAST IntenseZone! Where the big boys play!

Jesse: Will you stop going on about big boys?

JR: No! I'm too excited! I'm so excited, I'm going to talk some more! Now-

Cue: "Sleeping Awake" by POD

Reveal

To me

The mystery

Can you tell me what it means?

Explain

these motions and metaphors

Unlock these secrets in me

SPIDERPOET~! Emerges from behind the curtain and takes the stage! He surveys the crowd for a brief moment as a POP~! is heard! He looks down for a moment before making his way to the ring.

Describe the vision

the meaning is missing

Won't anybody listen

Define the riddles in my mind

Nothing is really what it seems

SP slides into the ring and gets to his feet. He turns and hauls himself up in the corner, and surveys the crowd again, throwing an arm in the air.

Dreaming of Zion away

Sleeping Awake

Dreaming of Zion away

Can't stop sleeping awake

Can you see what I see

Can you hear what I hear?

Do you feel like I feel?

Poet leaps down from the corner as the music dies down and the light comes back up. It was being drowned out anyway by the strange, huge POP from the crowd.

SP looks around the ring and soaks in the strange reaction from the audience. He looks down to the mat for a moment before raising to the mic to his masked mouth.

SP

. . . Thank you. I don't deserve any of that . . . not one bit, but you give it anyway. I don't know what to say, truly . . . except thank you.

(The audience cheers for him again)

SP

Let's get down to business . . . I've let too much cheering get to my head lately. Last week, El Dandy and I were robbed. Robbed of belts that we earned, whether we were wrong when we did it or not. We fought hard in the Cell at AngleMania II, and we didn't come out unscathed. I don't think I've been the same since JINGUS pulled my leg out of place. Sure, it can be popped back in, but the body isn't meant to suffer those kinds of things.

But I'm not going to sit here and whine and cry about it. No. No, I'm out here to issue an apology to someone, and to try and right a wrong.

JR

Wow . . . big words from SpiderPoet.

JESSE

That turncoat bastard. He should be kneeling before Stephen Joseph, begging forgiveness!

SP

First . . . El Dandy . . . I'm sorry. I've let you down, I've let us down. Just as much as I've let Widow down, as I've let myself down. Well I'm tired of letting myself down. I'm tired of rolling over, of running away, of changing my tune just to try and fit in. I stand here before all of you to make a new vow. I will not die, I will not go quietly into the night. I will not live in fear of Stephen Joseph, his minions, or the false God that he serves. That's right, Joseph. You do not serve the God I know, the God I knew before you came crashing in to warp my views. And I was weak . . . you should have never been able to do that to me.

Your God would deliver swift and unmerciful punishment on me for turning away as I did. But I've made my peace with my Merciful King . . . and I forgive you.

(Crowd boos, sensing that they've been duped)

SP

(Looks around and frowns, shaking his head) You all misunderstand. I forgive you, Joseph. But I will not run from you, I will not lay down and die for you, and I will NOT be steamrolled! Your reign of tyranny will come to and end soon, no matter what part I play in it personally. The beginning of your end begins RIGHT NOW!

(Crowd POPS!)

As a former Tag Champion, and given the circumstances of our defeat last week, I went and I had a little talk with the head authority around here. A guy I think you know well, Stephen. THE DAMES~!

(Crowd Pops HUGE!)

And the contract has been signed. As a former champion, I have exercised my RIGHT to a rematch. But I will not drag Dandy into what I've prepared. This match is ONE . . . on . . . ONE. ME against ANY member of the TRINITY at GREAT ANGLE BASH~!

(The AngleTron flares to life, and Stephen Joseph, Jacob X, and Ed appear on the screen)

Joseph

I can't believe you, Poet. You sniveling, sinful little bitch. So you found a loophole to exploit to try and get your tag titles back. Returning to your old sins too, I see. Trying to win tag titles in singles matches. We recieved our notification of your rights and your choice. We can do nothing about it . . .

Ed

But we can choose who we wish to send after you.

SP

(raises chin defiantly) I don't care which one of you does it.

Ed

Oh, but you should. A man with an agenda is a dangerous man, Spidey.

SP

We all have an agenda, Ed. It's only a matter of which one is truly noble that will determine if it wins.

Ed

(Sneers) Please. I've heard you say that you respect Zack malibu despite the things you've done to him in the past. Your off-hand comments that he's the reason that you've tried to grow, to become better while you're here. That he has . . . inspired you.

. . . HE IS NO INSPIRATION! Zack Malibu is a virus, a leprous dark spot upon the fabric of the OAOAST. He betrayed me and he will betray you. If it isn't one thing you need saving from, it's another. I will make you understand, Poet. I will keep you from the two idols you seek, and I will destroy any respect for Zack Malibu you may carry in your heart. I will face you at Great Angle Bash. One on One for the Tag Championship. I will put you through Hell.

SP

(nods) Good. I look forward to it.

Ed

I'll be seeing you ar--

SP

Oh, wait, there's something I forgot to tell you. Slipped my mind, I guess. Heh, see, I'm a fair man. I don't believe two belts should be won with a single pinfall.

Ed

(Exchanges looks with Joseph and Jacob) . . . go on.

SP

Eddie, you speak of punishment. You speak of Hell. And I agree with you, will go through Hell at the Bash.

. . . THREE STAGES OF HELL.

(Crowd POPS OUT OF THEIR FRIGGIN' MINDS~!~!)

JR

OH BOY! BUSINESS IS PICKIN' UP TO THE THIRD DEGREE!

SP

(Ticks them off on his fingers) Singles Match . . . Barbed Wire Ropes . . . and HELL . . . IN . . . THE CELL!

(Crowd is going absolutely nuts)

Ed

One thing I've yet to understand about the wicked, Poet, is why they're so eager for their damnation. What, is getting walked on not enough for you? Is getting led about like a beast of burden by "friends" like Zack Malibu not enough? Is physical destruction not enough? You'll die soon, and you'll burn. Maybe that'll be enough. I have no desire to see another man suffer, at the hand of Zack or of my brethren; I'm no masochist you now. But I will abide by your request. You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into, boy . . . no . . . idea. I'll take you to hell friend, but remember, there's no return.

SP

We'll see who walks back up the aisle, Ed. AngleMania has proven that my legs are stronger than circumstances.

JR: GREAT ANGLE BASH! THREE STAGES OF HELL! THE CELL! BAH GAWD~!

Jesse: I need a drink . . .

JR: Mah gawd, that was worth getting interrupted for!

Jesse: I think we can all agree on that.

JR: I'd talk now, but I'm hearing that Vitamin X is in the house!

[Chanel #99]

A dark room is shown with Vitamin X flicking on a lighter and immediately fucks up his attempt at looking cool by burning his finger.

X: Ow! Well, regardless....

He turns on the light and we are sort of led to believe this segment is taking place in a janitor's closet.

X: Yes, it's not my most extravagant of choices to be in this closet, but it's what I will have to deal with. You see, at intenseZONE's last PPV, I lost a match that I proclaimed I would win. The winning streak was all set to begin, the Vitamin X legend would have begun to write itself, if not ONLY for those two miserable sluts that Sonic Youth dares call ringside assistants. I have stood by, watching and waiting, and I struck my bit as part of joining the Lightning Crew. Aside from my self being part Cuban, and Puerto Rican Lightning's origins being obvious, the match seemed obvious to anyone here either ways. But there is beyond reason for all this, and I need to explain myself tonight.

He stands up and nearly trips over a bucket in the closest, becoming frustrated and kicking it over. He looks up and smashes the door open out of the closest, breathing heavily in the process. He turns around and his nerves have overtaken him, his hands shaking with fury, and his eyes red with anger.

X: You know what.... All the hype, all the things that should have been, all the triumphs and glory that were to be in my path are GONE, A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. Do you realize the standards I've set for myself? Does anyone here even realize that your main event is boring you to DEATH? Because it surely has been for me. This whole Banky I'm more important than you all, and some asshole I don't even know wanting to confront him about it. Once again, I refer to my earlier comment that it is just something I have to deal with.

He starts marching down the hall, determination overcoming every inch of his body.

X: Tonight, things will change. And it no longer will be me having to deal with things that are dealt to me in life, but it will be everyone else dealing with what I am about to unleash. Ladies and gentlemen, have you had your Vitamin X today?

He sports a sarcastic smile, before opening a door reading "THE DAMES" and closing it shut.

JR: What is he talking about, Jesse?

Jesse: Pay attention, Jim Ross. Vit X is destined for greatness!

JR: Tonight, as ever, we bring you our IZ North American title match- Jay Darring will defend against K-Ness. Plus, Jay pulls double duty as he tries to take the Puerto Rican title from PR Lightening! We also have the leader of the Trinity, Stephen Joseph in action against the man they call Sonic Youth.

Jesse: A busy night for the NA champion- I predict no belts for him by the end of the night.

JR:Jay has certainly been busy in the OAOAST. Featured Attraction V2.0 picked up a good victory last week...but I'm hearing from backstage there's been an incident between Jay and Sonic Youth...we'll take a look after these messages!

[Chanel #99]

"Shooter" Jay Darring is marching through the hallways backstage, a kendo stick in his hand and a look of intense anger on his face. He finds the door he's looking for and KICKS IT DOWN...

To reveal Sonic Youth, Lauren, and Janet, with shocked looks on their faces! Jay charges forward and *THWACKS* Sonic across the back with the kendo stick!

Jay: "YOU TWO, GET OUT, NOW!"

Lauren and Janet, fear and shock on their faces, quickly oblige.

Sonic (wincing in pain from the cane shot): "What in the hell did you do that for?"

Jay: "What the fuck was that shit in the NA Title match last week? First that fucking goofy smile, and you TAP OUT?!"

Sonic: "C'mon Jay, we're partners, and friends, I thought, what's wrong with smiling before a match, it's friendly competition, isn't it? And what's wrong with tapping out, you had me beat."

Jay: "NO, THIS IS NOT FRIENDLY COMPETITION, there is no such thing as friendly competition, that's a fucking oxymoron. The only time you're allowed to smile is when your hand is raised, got it?"

Sonic: "Yeah, I got it."

Jay: "And EVERYTHING is wrong with tapping out. To me, tapping out is telling someone 'I'm inferior.' You should have fought, you should have clawed and and bitten my arms and reached for those ropes like they were your fucking drowning mother. From now on, you NEVER tap out again, you hear me?"

Sonic: "Jay, take it easy..."

Jay: "THIS ISN'T A GAME SONIC, THIS ISN'T A FUN LITTLE HOBBY OF MINE! While you were hitting raves, I was hitting the gym, doing squats until my back gave out. While you were watching Buffy reruns on the WB, I was watching hours upon hours of Palookaville Championshit Wrestling, from Bumfuck, PA, trying to see if I could squeeze out the tiniest nugget of knowledge about this sport. While you were engaging in freaky three-ways with those two out there, I was shredding my body in the freakiest matches Big Japan could come up with. I mean, my G-d Sonic, I picked you as my tag partner because out of everyone on IntenseZone, YOU have the most potential. YOU have the chance to be one of the greats in this company. YOU have more natural talent than I could ever dream of. If you'd just have a little more discipline, and got serious and realized what we're up against, I swear to every potential deity in existence that we'd be unstoppable."

Sonic: "Jay, I get it, calm down, you can trust me. I know full well how formidable the Trinity is, and I won't drop the ball like your last partner did. Tonight, Stephen Joseph is going to find out how lethal Sonic Youth and Featured Attraction can be."

Jay: "I'm still not sure you do know what you've gotten yourself into. The Trinity is EVIL, Sonic, they can and will kill you in the ring, with no remorse, if you show weakness. "

*THWACK*

Sonic: "OWWW!"

Jay: "That, my friend, is just the flimsiest of samples of the pain Stephen Joseph can inflict on you Sonic. He's very angry that he lost to you, and when he's angry, lives are snuffed out. He's not Jesus, Sonic-he's Damien."

Sonic: "Hit me again."

*THWACK*

Sonic (face contorted in pain): "HIT ME AGAIN!"

*THWACK*

Sonic: "AGAIN!"

*THWACK*

Sonic: "AGAIN!"

*THWACK*

Jay: "PAIN FOR FAME SONIC, YOU'VE GOTTA BE READY TO MAKE THE SACRIFICE!"

*THWACK*

*THWACK*

*THWACK*

Sonic: "I'M READY! I'M READY DAMMIT!"

Sonic charges out of the locker room toward the ring, the pain of the cane shots overcome by his intense rage and motivation. Before he leaves, Jay grabs his arm.

Jay: "Hey Sonic."

Sonic: "Yeah?"

Jay (smiling): "I knew you had it in ya. Kick ass."

Sonic (grins): Hey, if you can't handle the pain, don't play the game, right?"

Sonic exits the locker and heads toward the gorilla position, the adrenaline making the young contender lose himself in the moment...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The camera fades out...and cuts back to the face of Vitamin X!

X: So what you're saying is, you'll think about it? Damesy boy, I've never seen you be one to turn down an opportunity like this. This is equally beneficial to you as well as for me!

Vitamin X is in a conversation with Dames, now joined by the rest of the Lightning Crew, Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez.

Dames: I'm sorry, but it's-

X: IT'S WHAT? Another opportunity for you and me to score some p-u-double s-y?

Dames: It goes against me being unbiased as commissioner. No matter how much I wouldn't mind trying your idea, it just wouldn't be right. I mean, Sonic Youth?

X: What about him? Who the fuck cares?

Dames: You obviously do.

X: Pfft. You think that loss means anything to me? Come on man, a competitor and an athlete as genetically perfect as myself, sinking myself to the level of Sonic Youth for one night, means absolutely nothing. And personally, I believe the match should be stricken from the record. I mean, come on bro, it was all over because Janet wanted some Vitamin X and SY couldn't handle losing one of chicks.

Dames: I don't care what you're telling me, I'm not going to join you.

Vitamin X and PRL almost at the same time, slam their fists down on Dames' table, somewhat startling him.

X: You know what you need? You need people like me, so you can point your fuckin fingers and say..THAT'S the bad guy!

Dames: Don't even rip that off.

X: Why? It's true. Hasn't this whole Trinity bullshit been boring the fuck out of your skull? Isn't it about damn time this place got a little interesting, ESPECIALLY away from the "main event" we have here? The Lightning Crew is THE next big thing OAOAST has to offer.

Dames: Prove it then, then maybe I'll think about it.

PRL and X look at each other, and X looks down, sighs.

X: Alright man, have it your way. If things have to be a little more difficult, then so be it. But this is a brand new day, and a brand new golden opportunity awaits.

X storms out of Dames' office, the Lightning Crew trailing behind him...

Dames: Hey, where did my letter opener go....

[Chanel #99]

Sonic Youth is walking out, in preparation for his match with Stephen Joseph.

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Vitamin X all of a sudden attacks from behind, and runs straight into a door, completely missing Sonic Youth or whatever else he may have been aiming for, apparently.

Sonic: Still haven't got how to attack me down right, have you?

At that point, the rest of the Lightning Crew swarm in and put the boots on Sonic Youth, his two girls sent scurrying aside, as Ms Lindsay Gonzalez gets in a HISPANIC CHICK FIGHT~! with Lauren and Janet.

PRL: One rule, you never mess with an angry Latina.

PRL holds Sonic Youth in a full nelson, as Vitamin X then utilizes that opportunity to use him like a punching bag. Sonic Youth wrestles free from PRL's grip, and kicks him away, running down the hall. X chases after him, but not before he and the rest of the Lightning Crew are stopped by security on the way out to the ring.

X: I'll get him before the night's up, you'll see...

Vitamin X and PRL turn around and see Janet, Lauren, and Ms Lindsay Gonzalez, having something of a 3-way catfight of their own. X grabs a bag of popcorn (where do people seem to always automatically get these anyways?), and sits down in a corner, as the 3 men all watch before Lauren and Janet get away.

JR: What a disgusting attack on Sonic Youth! His match with Stephen Jospeh is right NOW!

Jesse: Sonic Youth asked for it! He deserves to LOSE this match, and lose it badly!

Sonic Youth vs Stephen Joseph

"Come Out and Play" hits as lights hit throughout the ramp. Out walk Sonic along with Lauren and Janet, clad in her new jester costume. The trio make their way down the ramp as Sonic slides in and climbs onto the second turnbuckle, spreading his arms into a crucifix pose. Suddenly, "Come to Me" by P. Diddy strikes up as Stephen Joseph walks out amidst white pyro showering him. Joseph slides into the ring and immediately walks up, face to face with Sonic with a sneer on his face.

~Stephen shoves Sonic hard, causing Sonic to fall on his back and roll into the corner. Sonic gets up, looking a little weery as he ties up with Joseph and again gets the same maneuver. Sonic gets up and ducks a right hand, peppering Joseph with a series of his own. Sonic whips Joseph towards the ropes and goes for a dropkick but Joseph rolls beneath it, gets up and nails Sonic with a lariat to the back of his head. Joseph stomps away at Youth and picks him up, tossing him into the corner.~

~Stephen sets Sonic onto the top rope, looking for a superplex but Sonic punches Joseph in the gut and hits a tornado DDT! Sonic covers. 1.....2...kickout by Joseph. Sonic gets up and climbs onto the top rope. He leaps off, looking for a flying back elbow but Stephen sidesteps it, letting Sonic splat into the mat. Stephen smiles, dropping a couple elbow drops onto Sonic. Stephen grabs Sonic's arm and locks on a reverse armbar as Sonic clenches his jaw in pain, reaching for the ropes. Sonic grabs for the ropes and does but Joseph won't break. 1.....2.......3........4....and Joseph breaks the hold at the very last second.~

~Joseph lifts Sonic to his feet and slings him shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Sonic clutches his shoulder in pain as Joseph grabs his arm and lifts it up, snapping it across his shoulder repeatedly to loud boos and chants of "you suck". Stephen smiles and delivers hard kick to the arm. Stephen lifts Sonic to his feet and delivers a kick to the stomach before hitting Sonic with a snap suplex. Joseph makes a cover. 1.....2...kickout by Youth. Joseph whips Sonic into the ropes and bends for a back body drop but Sonic telegraphs it with a jumping legdrop to the back of Joseph's head, driving him to the mat.~

~The crowd cheers as Sonic gets to his feet and grabs Joseph. Youth nails Joseph with a solid dropkick to the face, obviously trying to use moves that don't effect his arm. Sonic tries for a superkick but Joseph catches his foot, spins Youth around and levels him with a lariat. Sonic is in pain as Joseph smiles, grabbing Sonic's injured arm and locking on a Fujiwara armbar. Sonic desperately reaches for the ropes as Stephen wrenches back, each time harder then the last. Lauren climbs onto the ring apron to distract the referee as Janet slides into the ring from the opposite side and stomps Stephen square in the face. Stephen breaks the hold, clutching his face as Janet slides out and Lauren climbs down off the apron.~

~Sonic gets up and blocks a Joseph right hand with a right hand of his own and again. Youth whips Joseph off the ropes and nails a spinning wheel kick, sending Joseph's head smacking off the mat. Sonic lifts up Joseph and lifts him into the air with a gutwrench before finishing with a powerbomb and the shoulders are on the mat. 1.....2.....kickout at 2 1/2. Sonic waits for Joseph to get up and charges for a lariat but Joseph ducks and nails a standing superkick, KOing Youth.~

~Stephen smiles and lifts up Sonic. Joseph is setting Sonic up for the Fallen Angel however Sonic manages to flip out of the suplex position, and Sonic is setting Joseph up for a Russian Leg Sweep however Stephen elbows Sonic repeatedly in the head to break it. Stephen now locks Sonic in the full nelson position and is looking for the Synchronicity Bomb however Sonic knees Joseph low and there's the Flowing DDT! Sonic is now locking on Twilight and what the hell!?!~

~Suddenly, racing down the ramp is Edward Robbins(Formerly Evenflow DDT). Edward slides into the ring, DDT on Sonic Youth! Youth is out cold and Janet slides into the ring! Edward blocks a right hand, kick to the stomach and DDT!! Here comes Jay Darring!! Jay slides into the ring, behind Edward and Stephen just hit Lauren with the Fallen Angel! Jay nails Edward with a low blow and there's the Afterthought! Look at Stephen slinking to the back now, up the ramp. Stephen and Jay have a staredown from the ring to the ramp as Jay checks on his fallen comrades~

JR: Damn that Trinity! Sonic Youth was about to score a huge victory!

Jesse: He would never have won, Jim Ross.

JR: We'll be back right after this!

[Chanel #99]

As we come back, the lights in the arena are dim…very dim. The crowd is going crazy…very crazy. The signs are insane…very insane. Then, the lights go out completely…one-hundred percent completely.

“AAAAALLLLLL ABOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

Ozzy Osbourne’s voice calls across the sound system as his hit song “Crazy Train” belts across the arena, and the fans jump to their feet in 100% sheer excitement, although they’re not sure why. Finally they find out, as MASKED MAN!!!!!!!!!! Enters the arena with his announcers Simone and Garfunkel right behind him, checking out his hot ass! They blow kisses to MM as they walk to the announce table and take JR and Jesse’s place.

Simone: My my, dear Garfunkel, are we set for a hot, sexy night of action on the IntenseZone!?!

Garfunkel: I am just simply in awe over the fact that Masked Man, after being hospitalized once again by Vince McMahon Mask, is actually wrestling tonight!

Simone: That Vince McMahon Mask is nothing but a bastard…he’ll get his due.

“Battery” by Metallica fires up and the crowd once again begins cheering as relative newcomer Adam Roy walks out onto the stage. Focused, he walks to the ring without taking his eyes off of his opponent.

Simone: This boy looks delicious! And he’s barely legal!

Garfunkel: His buttocks is not as shapely as my Masked Man’s.

Roy enters the ring and leaps into the air a few times, before raising his arms to the fans, who cheer him appreciatively! Finally, the referee, who is quite old, signals for the bell to begin this contest!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Roy and Man circle each other, before MM extends his hand for a shake…and Roy takes it! However, after they do, Masked Man reveals that he had just spit in his hand, and the crowd begins LOLing!!! Even Roy cracks a smile, but quickly locks horns with Masked Man and goes behind him with a waistlock, before dropping MM to the canvas and riding him around like a true amateur wrestler.

Simone: Ooh, I think I’ve just seen a new position to try!

Garfunkel: Quiet! I get to use it first! Masked Man loves me more!

Masked Man quickly gets to his feet, buy Adam grabs a front facelock on his opponent and grabs a handful of his tights, before snapping his hips and arching back, sending MM over with a beautiful snap suplex! Roy quickly covers:

ONE!

TWO!

Kickout!

Roy picks Masked Man up and whips him into the ropes, before putting his head down. MM thinks quickly and reaches forward, grabbing Adam’s head and twisting sideways, sending Adam sloppily to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker. The crowd doesn’t care how bad it was, and they cheer anyway! Masked Man brings his foot down on Roy’s chest a few times, jarring him, and then drops down to the canvas and wraps his hand around Adam’s throat, choking the life out of him. When the referee reprimands him, he looks at him with puppy dog eyes and the crowd just eats it up!!

Simone & Garfunkel: Aww! He’s so cute! Jinx, personal jinx! Tee-hee!

Masked Man then grabs Adam’s arm while he’s still on the canvas, and twists it into an overhead wristlock! Adam screams in pain and has his shoulders down to the canvas! So the referee counts!!

ONE!

TWO!

Shoulder up!

Simone: I used to think Masked Man didn’t know a wristlock from a wrist watch. But then I realized that those two things are quite easy to distinguish between.

Garfunkel: I realized that he knew what he was talking about when he executed it while we were mingling under covers! It was fun!

However, Adam Roy is able to roll of the canvas and escape the waistlock by grabbing Masked Man in a front facelock before falling backwards, driving his head into the canvas! Adam then grabs Masked Man’s legs and twists them together, before turning him over, onto his stomach with a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF!!! Masked Man’s back is contorted into an odd angle as he begins screaming for help, mercy, pain, suffering, and sweet refuge. He tries to reach the ropes, and he gets there…NO! Roy pulls him all the way back to the center of the ring!

Simone: Oh my! He’s never going to be able to have sex again!

Garfunkel: My poor lover! Please, love, fight out of this hold and show that Roy fellow what you’re truly made of: heart, soul, and life!

Showing inhuman strength, Masked Man pushes up on his hands and flips Roy down to the mat! And the crowd cheers immensely! Roy runs at Masked Man but he takes a punch! And then a chop! And then a kick! And then he ducks behind Adam and lifts him up into the air, only to bring his buttocks down across his knee with an atomic drop!! But Adam no sells it and kicks Masked Man in the stomach, before putting his head between his legs! He then hoists Masked Man up and SPIKES HIM DOWN TO THE CANVAS WITH AN OLD JAPAN STYLE POWeRBOMBB@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Simone: Nooo! I mean, he just literally SPIKED, no, seriously, SPIKED Masked Man to the canvas!

Garfunkel: His back! His back! Ooh, baby.

Adam Roy covers and the crowd counts along!

ONE!!!

TWOOOO!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, Kickout!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Masked Man kips up and begins sending punches and chops at Adam Roy! Roy charges with a clothesline, but Masked Man ducks…and then grabs him in a front facelock and grabs his tights and lifts him into the air, before dropping into a sitting position and knocking Roy out cold!

Simone & Garfunkel: DON’T TAKE MY MASK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly, “No Chance in Hell!” fires up and the crowd moans in displeasure as none other than Vince McMahon Mask struts out!! And he has something in his hand…what is it?!?!

Simone: Oh my Goodness! That’s a framed picture of Masked Man’s grandmother!

With Masked Man looking him right in the rubber eye, VMM then throws the picture on the ground and begins stomping on it! He then pulls a lighter out and tries to ignite it…but he can’t! No wait, he’s got it…no, hold on…oh, there’s the flame! THE PICTURE IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Masked Man begins crying at the sight! And then Adam Roy comes behind him and hoists him onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry before dropping him down headfirst onto the canvas!

Garfunkel: THE HAND OF GOD! OH NO!! *I* might have to be using my hand more often now! Don’t let this be!

Vince McMahon Mask cackles with glee as Roy covers:

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Vince McMahon Mask hustles into the ring and throws Adam Roy out! He then picks Masked Man up and SLAPS him! He then wraps his arm under MM’s chin and drops into a sitting position, jarring Masked Man’s jaw! He falls to the canvas and begins convulsing as another ambulance pulls up! And it takes him away!

Simone: No! Damn it all! Masked Man is taken away in an ambulance for the third time!

Garfunkel: Excuse my language, but SCREW Vince McMahon Mask! We'll be back-

JR: No, *we'll* be back!

[Chanel #99]

JR: Welcome back fans! Why do we have to give those two air time each week?

Jesse: I presumed you hired them.

JR: Well, next up-

JR is, not surpisingly, interupted.

::"How I Could Just Kill A Man" hits and Jailbait makes his way to the ring. Jailbait is not in a good mood today, but then again, when is he ever?::

Jailbait: All right kill the beat. Now, two weeks ago, some drunken bitch came out and asked me a couple of questions that I didn't find too endearing. So I had to whip his punk ass. But the point still remains kids and I'm still looking for some of you "upper level OaOast superstars" to come out and fight me, not wrestle, but FIGHT. So, which one is it gonna be? Which punk-bitch is gonna step into this ring and accept my challenge. Man up! Get out here!

::Jailbait continues to berate the entire locker room, egging on any willing competitor to come out and face him. After a long wait, "Too Cold" hits and Mystery Eskimo makes his way to the ring.::

JR: "Oh man, this is gonna be a slobberknocker here to tonight! We havn't seen Mystery Eskimo since School's Out, but he's back and he's crazy as a pet coon, bah gawd!"

Jesse: "Stop with the whole Oklahoma thing JR, its so 99 punk."

::Eskimo and Jailbait go face to face and Jailbait attempts to strike first! Eskimo blocks and send Jailbait in the corner. Eskimo lays in the chops and right hands, but Jailbait clips his left knee! Eskimo is down in pain and holding his left kneecap. Jailbait continues to hammer on that leg until officials come down and break up the action.

JR: "My god, he may have dislocated Eskimo's knee there, it was a sick sick move by this bastard Jailbait!

Jesse: "Yeah, Eskimo is down in pain, but what else should've he expected, Jailbait's from the hood jack and he won't fight ya fair, nor should he!"

::Jailbait once again attacks the ring and hammers the leg with a steel chair. The violent thud of the chair against the knee has caused Eskimo to scream in pain! Jailbait has left an impression on not only the crowd tonight, but also Mystery Eskimo!::

JR: Jailbait is demanding attention here in the OAOAST, but has he angered a dangerous foe?

Jesse: Nah.

JR: Let's take a look at some action from backstage!

(Blurricane is seen backstage drinking coffee when someone walks up behind him)

TEDDY LONG

What's up Playa!?

(Blurricane spits coffee out and spins around. He looks at the coffee, looks at Teddy, and then looks around)

BLURRICANE

Holy Smokes~!! Someone must have laced this coffee with Kryptonite!

TEDDY

Say what playa? Let me see that coffee.

(Teddy takes the coffee and smells it and then takes a sip)

TEDDY

Tastes okay to me, but that's not what I came to talk about. What happened last week playa? What is going on between you, Reject, and Orion?

BLURRICANE

I'm glad you asked that. I want to apologize to Reject. My actions last week were unbecoming of a hero. I was a little upset about what happened in my match with PRL earlier in the night. You see, believe it or not heroes have bad days too. If Reject wants a match I will not reject the Reject! I will be more than happy to make it up to him.

TEDDY

That's all fine and dandy, but what are your thoughts on Orion?

BLURRICANE

Orion has become a thorn in my side. He's the Lex Luthor to my Superman...the Kingpin to my Daredevil...the Michael Minelli to my Blankman!

TEDDY

The who? Damn Playa you been smoking the weed?

BLURRICANE

You know that The Blurricane doesn't use drugs! Drugs are bad mmmkay! If Orion shows up again I'll have to take a bite out of crime!

TEDDY

Preach on brotha! Fo Sheeze!

BLURRICANE

You really should get that cold checked out Teddy. (Hokey Thumbs Up!)

(Blurricane swooshes away as Teddy looks on confused)

[Chanel #99]

IZ fires back onto the screen, but suddenly cuts...to a scene...a hallway... bob squad is arguing with a random authority figure

: Camera pulls back to show job squad peering down the hallway he them looks into the camera:

Job squad: krikes look at that one they belong in their natural habitat a land fill not here in the city. So we will knock them unconscious so we can easily move them in special trucks.

: Job squad runs up to bob squad as friendly as possible and caves in his skull with a exploding barbwire thumbtacks mousetrap stop sign:

job squad whoops oh well there is one dead squad well we better send him back to his natural habitate anyway.

: Job squad puts bob squad in a glad bag and throws him in a dumpster. :

JR: Well....that was interesting, as ever! Its been wild so far here tonight! And now, fans, onto something serious. 2 weeks ago on IntenseZone, we witnessed one of the most brutal, barbaric, and unprovoked assaults in IntenseZone and OaOasT history.

Jesse: Unprovoked? It was not unprovoked! Mad Cappa accepted PRL's challenge and he knew EXACTLY what he was getting himself into.

JR: How can you be so heartless? Let's go back to the main event of IntenseZone from two weeks ago. Puerto Rican Lightning vs. The Mad Cappa for the Puerto Rican Championship.

::Cut to The Mad Cappa/PRL/P.R. Title Video Package::

(Clips of the PRL/Mad Cappa match are shown as some music is played)

::Cappa punches PRL and sends him into the corner...::

::PRL does a Flair Flip and gets clotheslined off the apron...::

::PRL does his patented leap frogs...::

::Cappa with the IMPACT!...::

::PRL elbows Cappa down and dances to mock him...::

::PRL misses the FU Elbow Drop...::

::Sharpshooter by PRL...(which fades into)...Walls of Cappa by TMC...::

::Both Bust A Cap's are shown back to back...::

::(Suddenly the music becomes dark sounding as Vitamin X shows up)::

::Taser shot by Vitamin X!...::

:R Nightmare! 1...2...3!!!::

JR: BAW GAWD~! I Don't believe it! I Don't believe what I just saw! I don't believe it!

::The PR Nightmare and Chokeslam on Cappa are shown...::

::Cappa is handcuffed and hit with the taser 4 more times...::

::PRL wails on Cappa with a chair...::

::PRL is shown breaking Cappa's arm and leg with the chair...::

::PRL leaps off the top rope with the ringbell smashing Cappa's throat into the guardrail...::

::Cappa is taken away on a stretcher...::

::The final shot is of Puerto Rican Lightning raising the Puerto Rican Championship while grinning angrily. He then laughs an evil laugh as the screen fades to black::

(As we fade out we hear JR in the background)

JR: Cappa may never wrestle again thanks to that no good Puerto Rican Lightning!

::Cut Back To: The Annoucer's Table. JR has a look of sadness in his face. Jesse "The Body" Ventura has a happy smile on his face::

JR: And what are you so damn happy about?

Jesse: I am happy that Cappa got his comeuppance.

JR: Comeuppance.

Jesse: He kept injecting himself into PRL's life. HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED!!!

JR: You make me sick.

Jesse: The feeling is mutual.

JR: Anyway, folks, last week, immediatley following the match on IntenseZone, The Mad Cappa went into emergency surgery as doctors found out through x-rays that Cappa had a crushed layrnx thanks to Puerto Rican Lightning slamming the ring bell into his throat. But that was not all he suffered. Here now is one of the doctors that worked on Mad Cappa, Dr. Leroy Johanseen with a report on Mad Cappa's current condition.

::Cut to a hospital room. In the room is Dr. Leroy Johanseen. He is a middle-aged man with grey hair and wrinkles. He is wearing glasses and is standing next to a x-rays of The Mad Cappa.::

Dr. Leroy Johanseen: On the May 27th episode of OaOasT IntenseZone, The Mad Cappa suffered a beatdown at the hands of The Lightning Crew. From numerous x-rays and examinations we found that Mad Cappa had suffered a severe concussion from the 10 chairshots given to him by Puerto Rican Lightning.

:r. Johanseen points to several x-rays which show Mad Cappa's legs, arms, and ribs::

Dr. Johanseen: As you can see here, The Lightning Crew also managed to break Cappa's ribs. They will heal and so will Cappa's right ankle and left arm. However, it will take some time. Thankfully, we were able to surgically repair his layrnx. However, it is severly recommended that he retire from wrestling for if he gets back in the ring, he riskes further harm to his injuries. His other injuries will heal in about 18 months. Right now, he can't even talk.

I am afraid that The Mad Cappa may never wrestle ever again.

::Cut to: The annoucer's table. The crowd is shocked by the annoucement and are chanting "Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!" Some fans are even crying as they can't believe what they just heard::

JR: Oh my. I....just.....can't. This is very heartbreaking for Mad Cappa and for us.

Jesse: Not me.

JR: Will you stop? A man's career is over and you can't show even *one* bit of compassion.

Jesse: Compassion is for the weak, JR. Only the strong survive and PRL proved he was strong enough to take on Cappa.

JR: Strong? Are you kidding me? He cheated to keep the Puerto Rican Championship! HE IS A NO GOOD, LYING, CHEATING, SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!

Jesse: Easy, JR. Easy! Let's cut to something before Jim Ross detonates!

Vince McMahon Mask is walking around backstage, very proud of himself! Then interviewer Josh Matthews runs by him!

Josh: Vince McMahon Mask, why are you so happy? You’ve hospitalized Masked Man again!

VMM: And that’s why I’m happy, you good son of a bitch! Masked Man said he had a major announcement? Well I guess now…………HE DOESN’T!

However, the security gate in the back of the arena open and in comes…an AMBULANCE!!!!!!!!!! And guess who it’s driven by?!?!

If you guessed Masked Man, you’d be wrong! Because Masked Man is in the passenger side! And he jumps out of the car and punches Vince McMahon Mask! He then grabs a plastic pipe and hits Vince with it right in the HIP! And then uses a shot to the head! And he hoists McMahon up and brings him down to the floor with a DON’T TAKE OFF MY MASK ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!!!! VMM IS DEAD!!!!!!

Masked Man then peers down at Vince McMahon Mask…

MM: You want to play games with myself, and also my life? Vince McMahon Mask, I challenge you to a match at the great Angle bash. But it will be a special match……….

MASK

VERSUS

MASK

The crowd gasps in horror as we go to a commercial break!

[Chanel #99]

A camera catches up to Mystery Eskimo, limping through a corridor backstage. Eskimo grabs it.

ME: I've been away a while...healing up...and I come back, and that little bastard, Y2Jailbait, starts kicking up trouble? If he wants it, he's found it. He just has no idea what he's found.

Eskimo pushes the camera away and limps on.

JR: MYstery Eskimo, an OAOAST veteran, not at all impressed by Y2Jailbait!

Jesse: I'll tell you who *is* impressive!

JR: Who?

Jesse: Just take a look at this:

As Sonic Youth is wandering around backstage after his match, he quickly is looking for his bags, as well as his two assistants keeping an eye out for the Lightning Crew. He quickly grabs what he needs to get and start exiting the arena. A homeless man is sitting out front, and he appears to be a bit on the heavy side. He is asking for change from anyone walking in or out of the arena, as apparently the police and security are nowhere to be found.

Janet: I feel bad for him.

Lauren: Screw it, let's go.

Sonic Youth takes pity on the man, walking up to him. He reaches into his wallet and pulls out a dollar to give to him, as the large homeless man stands up, not even looking at Sonic Youth.

Man: I can't thank you enough.

Sonic Youth: Well, um...you're welcome...?

Man: Where are your assistants?

SY turns around to see that Lauren and Janet are nowhere to be found. He cautiously eyes the homeless man again, taking a step back and realizing the man is too large to be Vitamin X or Puerto Rican Lightning. As soon as he does this, he gets put into a full nelson again, from behind. He hears PRL's voice behind him as he screams for Vitamin X to get this overwith so they can get home.

X: You know, Sonic Youth... I don't care what you've done out there against Stephen Joseph. I don't care that you even supposedly beat me. What I care about is making an impact. And while for one day some might have seen and I might have felt as though you may have gotten the best of me, always remember that every day, every time, everywhere I....am always just THAT...MUCH....BETTER....THAN YOU.

Vitamin X cheapshots SY in the jaw, as PRL uses the taser gun from last week's attack on Mad Cappa, stunning Sonic Youth, limping him to the ground. X uses that opportunity to kick him in the back of the head, as the large homeless man is revealed to be Mr. Boricua, who, accompanied by Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Puerto Rican Lightning, hold down Sonic Youth, while X stands over him.

X: You little worthless, pathetic bitch. I never thought you were anything and now you want to go after the Trinity for their tag team gold? Don't you realize that you're nothing but the North American Champion's lackey? Don't you realize you will never amount to anything, and you shouldn't have amounted to anything if it wasn't for your little sluts.

Vitamin X looks closer at Sonic Youth, and sees his eyes are glazed over.

PRL: Come on X, finish this. We've got to get out of here, and he's already out like a light.

Vitamin X sighs, as he is visibly enjoying this brief moment of triumph.

X: Fine. Sonic Youth, here is something you can remember me by..

He pulls out the letter opener from earlier, and carves a X into Sonic Youth's chest with it. He stands up, as the rest of the Lightning Crew (excuse the pun) bolts out of there in a hurry, not wanting to see the repercussions of what X has done. X takes the letter opener and leaves it on Sonic Youth's chest, as he walks away. We see him pull off the gloves he had on, and put them away in his pocket, as the camera zooms in on Dames' name on the letter opener, fading out.

[Chanel #99]

JR: Mah gawd! That was vicious! Disgusting! Evil!

Jesse: I know! I told you it was great!

JR: Fans, we have as ever our NA title main event to come. That match will be with us very soon but it seems we have a very important piece of video tape to look at!

Scene a hallway cyc squad is arguing with a random authority figure

: Camera pulls back to show job squad peering down the hallway he them looks into the camera:

Job squad: krikes look at that one they belong in their natural habitat a land fill not here in the city. So we will knock them unconscious so we can easily move them in special trucks.

: Job squad runs up to cyc squad and caves in her skull with a exploding barbwire thumbtacks mousetrap stop sign:

job squad: whoops oh well there is one dead squad well we better send him back to his natural habitate anyway.

: Job squad puts cyc squad in a glad bag and throws her in a dumpster with bob squad. :

thus endith the squad wars

JR: ....well...that's over.

Jesse: Thank god for that!

JR: It's almost time for the main event...but I'm getting word that somethings happening outside...

Cameras backstage show Zack Malibu and Alison putting their bags in their rental car, getting ready to head out of the underground parking deck and back to their hotel.

The camera is jostled, and three men run past the shocked and frightened cameraman. Two men dump Zack into the trunk, slamming it shut while the third grabs Alison by the hair, throwing her down.

Alison, crying, claws forward as the three men get into Zack's car, and it drives away just as security arrives, along with Jay and a badaged up Youth...not in time this time.

JR: BAH GAWD! Whats going on?!

Jesse: Bwahahahaha!

JR: Someone get after them! Get some help for Alison and Zack! This is awful!

Jesse: Time to call a match, Jim Ross.

JR: The NA title is on the line, next!

[Chanel #99]

Ring Announcer: The following contest is your main event of the evening, and is for the OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first...

(*"Trans Magic" begins to play over the PA.*)

RA: The challenger, from Samar, Philippines, weighing in at 221 pounds, K-NESS!

JR: Since his amicable split from job squad, K-NESS has promised that he's a new man, a different K-NESS, a more serious and focused competitor.

Jesse: In this match K-NESS plans to go back to his roots, his Japanese strong style training. Jay Darring has mostly been in garbage brawls since arriving in OAOAST, and defending against K-NESS's mat assault might take Darring off his game.

RA: And his opponent...

(*The blue spotlights hit, the opening notes of "The Fake Sound of Progress" strike up, and out walks a visibly weary

"Shooter" Jay Darring.*)

RA: From Boston Massachusetts, weighing in at 173 pounds, he is the OAOAST North American champion, "SHOOTER" JAY DARRING!

JR: What a courageous young man "Shooter" Jay Darring is, putting his title on the line moments after his grueling hardcore street fight with Puerto Rican Lightning!

Jesse: Bah! He has to defend his belt! Dames' rule. He was monumentally stupid for agreeing to the street fight, and now he's ripe for the plucking!

Jay Darring is slow to get in the ring, he pauses to look at the camera, smirks, and says, "Just another day at the office." Jay enters the ring, and the bell sounds.

K-NESS locks up with Darring, and promptly shoves the champion to the mat!

Jesse: Bad move by Darring, he's one of the smallest competitors in OAOAST to begin with, and in his condition there's no way he can match power with K-NESS!

Darring, unfazed, goes back to the lockup, K-NESS with the go-behind, takes Jay down amateur style, and starts to rain STIFF crossfaces down on the champ! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 shots!

JR: K-NESS means business tonight! He's determined to be taken seriously, and he's making Jay even uglier with those crossfaces!

Jesse: I didn't think that was possible.

K-NESS immediately locks on the Dragon Sleeper!

JR: THIS MIGHT BE OVER EARLY!

K-NESS has the Dragon Sleeper locked on tight! Jay's eyes are glazing over, he looks out of it!

K-NESS: "CHECK HIM!"

Jesse: I can feel it JR, new champion!

The referee raises Jay's hand. It goes down once! He raises it again, it goes down twice! He raises the hand a third time....

IT STAYS UP!

JR: JAY DARRING HAS THE HEART OF A CHAMPION!

Jesse: HE HAS THE HEART OF A MENTAL PATIENT JR! WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD CANE HIS OWN TAG PARTNER!

Jay, with a burst of energy, gets to his feet and elbows out of the hold. Jay bounces off the ropes- AND IS DECAPITATED BY A WESTERN LARIAT!

JR: Bam! What a devastating move by K-NESS!

Jesse: That's why he was ranked #159 by the DVDVR Playboyz!

COVER!

1....

2....

KICKOUT AT 2.9!

JR: SO CLOSE TO A NEW CHAMPION!

K-NESS: "THAT'S IT" He picks the prone champion up-BACKDROP SUPLEX! The challenger holds on- BACKDROP SUPLEX #2! A THIRD BACKDROP SUPLEX!

JR: Tremendous combination of rolling Backdrop Suplexes by the challenger!

Jay has tumbled to the outside as a result of those deadly suplexes. K-NESS calmly follows Jay to the outside. Picks up the prone champion- and PLANTS HIM WITH A HIGH ANGLE EXPLODER SUPLEX ON THE CONCRETE!

JR: JAY'S BACK AND NECK MAY BE PERMANENTLY DAMAGED!

Jesse: A brilliant display of high-impact wrestling by K-NESS. He's studied Jay, knows he has a history of back injuries, and he's exploiting that weakness to the fullest!

K-NESS promptly rolls Jay into the ring for the cover.

1!

2!

SHOULDER UP!

JR: Jay Darring is kicking out on instinct at this point.

Jesse: This lasts any longer, he's dead meat!

K-NESS picks the champ up again, irish whip, somehow reversed by Jay. K-NESS off the ropes, met with the STIFF~! SUPERKICK! This time K-NESS falls to the outside, Jay tries for a suicide dive, CUT OFF WITH AN ENZIGUIRI KICK!

Jesse: Well, that didn't last long.

K-NESS runs into the ring and covers!

ONE,

TWO,

THRE-SHOULDER UP!

JR: MY GAWD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

Jesse: Why can't he Kput this deranged idiot away?!

K-NESS, visibly frustrated, signals for the Tiger Suplex '85, REVERSED BY DARRING- AFTERTHOUGHT!

JR: AFTERTHOUGHT, THE BY GAWD AFTERTHOUGHT, BY JAY CAN'T COVER!

Both competitors are down, and the referee begins the count- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5- Jay is crawling over to the fallen K-NESS- 6, 7, 8 -COVER!

1....

2.....

KICKOUT!

JR: The Afterthought is a match-ender most of the time, but Jay gave K-NESS too much time to recover!

Both competitors gradually get back to their feet, closed-fist punches by K-NESS stagger Jay, K-NESS off the ropes, Jay ducks another Western lariat, K-NESS slaps on a katahajame- Darring quickly reverses INTO THE KT DRILLER!

1!

2!

3!!!!

JR: IT'S OVER, JUST LIKE THAT!

RA: Your winner of the match, and STILL OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION, "SHOOTER" JAY DARRING!

Jesse: K-NESS was DOMINATING the entire match, but NOBODY escapes the KT Driller!

JR: Well, I'll tell you one thing Jesse, K-NESS proved that he is a force to be reckoned with in OAOAST. Championship gold and many more main events are certainly in his future.

Jay shakes the hand of a proud but disappointed K-NESS in a sign of respect, and promptly collapses on the mat, belt in hand. As Jay slowly gets up, he sees that PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING has come out of the crowd, and he starts taunting Jay with his Puerto Rican title from the outside! Jay steps outside on the apron to yell at PRL....

WAIT, VITAMIN X and MR. BORICUA have hit the ring, ladder in tow. The Lightning Crew SMASH the ladder across the back of Jay Darring, and Jay goes FLYING off the apron, THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, AND CRASHES RIGHT THROUGH IT!

JR: MY GAWD, MY GAWD, THE LIGHTING CREW, WITH ONE SWIFT STRIKE, HAS BROKEN JAY DARRING IN HALF! THE DESPICABLE #1 CONTENDER HAS MADE A STATEMENT TONIGHT ON INTENSEZONE, MY GAWD WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT WEEK?

The Lightning Crew is laughing in the ring, and there is one final shot of Jay Darring lying limply in the wreckage of the announce table.

(*Fade Out*)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

But our camera fades back in....................

We see Stephen Joseph standing in a dark cemetary

I'm Sorry Zack.

Don't you see it had to be this way. I'm gone Zack, gone way past what I was...I can't go back...I'm beyond redemption, I know the trail I've lead wasn't one of righteousness...it was one where I tried to take back control. I lost it then...and you couldve helped me!

But I'm not like you Zack...I'll sacrifice everything to stand up...to save my friends...to save you. That's what this is all about. You and I, we're actors in a Shakespearean play...and we each have that one tragic flaw. It's too late for me, my lust for power is unquenchable. But you Zack, there's still a chance to save you from your lust for acceptance. I KNOW that's why the title is so precious to you, but you have to understand, YOU'RE A BETTER MAN WITHOUT IT.

The fans accepted you without it. Ed did, I did, everyone did...We all accepted you, but your pursuit for more...more popularity, made you into some hellish creature.

What gets me the most, is that everyone says you deserved the title reign. AND I DONT? After all I've been through, all that I've done...And then I find out...they're going to have you win? What is this...NWA...and are you Jarrett to my Raven?

No, that's not how its going down. Things change, that's the only constant in life. At the Great Angle Bash, the lights will be out, the match unrecognized...and most of all..no refs...no one to screw with the finish. If I lose, I will lose of my own accord, not of some armchair booker's wet dream.

Till then Zack...Rest in Peace.

The camera pans down, Zack laid in a casket inside an open grave. Stephen Joseph kicks the lid down, and slowly, shovels dirt over the casket as the show fades to black...