Chanel #99 Posted December 2, 2012 Report Share Posted December 2, 2012 The screen fills with darkness... Stephen Joseph sits cloaked in the boiler room underneath OaOasT arena, a small fire flickering flames of orange and yellow off his chin, blue eyes, and black cloth. His mouth moves, words coming out in a torment of linguistical lament. SJ Fire's real beauty is that it destroys responsibility and consequences. A problem gets too burdensome, then into the furnace with it. Now, Jay, you’re a burden. And fire will lift you off my shoulders, clean, quick, sure; nothing to rot later. He always said, don't face the problem...BURN IT. Welcome to Hell. Welcome Jay, to MY world. Burn baby burn. HaHaHahahahaha... ::The screen goes to black as the audio trails off:: BOOM! JR: Welcome to INTENSEZONE! I'm Jim Ross, and I'm so excited I'm not going to introduce Jesse "The Body" Ventura! Jesse: ... JR: We're heading straight into the big INFERNO match, bah gawd! Just a second- we have an unscheduled arrival! Red" by Treble Charger rocks the arena, and it can only mean "Undisputed" Christian James is out with something to say. JR: Here comes your winner of last week's North American Battle Royale! Jesse: I've gotta admit, that was a pretty impressive performance last week. Undisputed stands in the center of the ring takes a microphone, but before he can say anything, the lights go out! JR: What in the hell is going on now? A minute passes, the arena shrouded in total darkness. Jesse: Maybe it's a technical difficulty- Dames hired those WCW crew guys last week didn't he? Suddenly, grunting noises are heard in the ring, and the light flash back on to see the Trinity, Stephen Joseph, SpiderPoet and El Dandy pummeling Undisputed in a three-on-one assault. JR: This is heinous, what cowards the Trinity are, they need to turn the arena lights off to attack their foes, 3 on 1 no less! Jesse: Are you kidding JR, it's genius- Process of Elimination. JR: He can't even fight back! Infernales have Undisputed up for the Tilde-BANG~! Stephen Joseph is directing traffic on this vicious attack. Infernales have brought round metal objects to the ring. JR: They're hubcaps! Jesse: They told me about this, they took them off Zack Malibu's car! Infernales picks Undisputed up, and bash the hubcaps across UD's head Conchairto style! Undisputed is down again, but that doesn't keep the Infernales from raining stiff hubcap shots on Undisputed's head and back! JR: Wait a second, Stephen Joseph has pulled a bag from out of his jacket. The contents empty out in the center of the ring... Jesse: Thumbtacks. JR: There's gotta be thousands of thumbtacks in the center of the ring! Stephen Joseph motions for the Infernales to finish the job. Tilde-BANG~! on the thumbtacks! Undisputed is SCREAMING in pain. Jesse: Where's Jay to save him, where's his "loyal" partner? JR: I don't think he's even arrived yet! He doesn't know what's going on! Stephen Joseph is telling the Infernales he want Undisputed to himself now. He throws the prone Undisputed out of the ring and drags him onto the Spanish Announce Table- PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, RIGHT ON HIS HEAD! JR: GOOD GAWD, STOP IT! STOP IT NOW! Stephen Joseph calmly enters the ring and takes the stick: "Featured Attraction has just been critically panned, and tonight, I burn the final print." JR: In all my years of broadcasting, I've never seen a man who embodies pure evil as much as Stephen Joseph. Jesse: Process of Elimination JR. First Eskimo gets taken to task by the Trinity, now Undisputed, Jay is next, and after that Malibu will be all alone and defenseless on IntenseZone against the Trinity, I can't wait! EMTs are attending to Undisputed, who hasn't moved since the piledriver. One of the EMTs solemnly shakes his head as he loads him onto the stretcher. JR: His career is most likely over. Jesse: Meh. Let's get on with the match! Elsewhere, "Shooter" Jay Darring has just arrived at the arena. A young production assistant walks up to him and tells him what's just happened in the ring. Jay's face contorts into a mask of pure rage and hate as he hears the news. Jay spots the Trinity backstage, drops his bags and blindly rushes at all three of them! He manages to get a couple of punches in on Stephen Joseph and the Infernales, before the referees and road agents grab him and hold him back! The Trinity runs into their dressing room and locks the door! Jay: "You're dead motherfucker, you hear me, YOU'RE FUCKIN' DEAD! Come out of their and face me Stephanie! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM THE HARSH REALITY FOREVER FUCKER!" JR: The Trinity has barricaded themselves in their dressing room! Can't face their enemies out in the open huh? Well, Stephen Joseph won't have anywhere to hide in the inferno match tonight! Jesse: More like Jay won't have anywhere to hide. After that match next the Trinity's process of elimination will be complete. JR: Jay has gotten hold of a camera man- let's see whats happening- ("Shooter" Jay Darring is in the locker room, alone, nobody but him and the camera man.) "Stephen Joseph, for a man who drapes himself in religion, you've certainly failed to heed the words of a certain section in the New Testament, Revelations 7:12 - 'And I looked, as he opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake, and the sun became as black as sackcloth. And the moon became as blood. And the seas boiled and the skies fell.' Steve-o, you have just opened that sixth seal by challenging me to an inferno match." "Don't think I don't know the thought process that was going through your feeble mind. That a man who promotes himself as a "shooter" and believes in the idea of wrestling as a pure sport would be terrified and out of his element in an inferno match. Well, Stevie, you obviously haven't done your research, and your ignorance will be your downfall. You see, when I was in Japan before I arrived in OAOAST, I didn't wrestle for New Japan, or All Japan, I competed for BIG JAPAN, the sickest, most gory, most stomach-turning promotion on earth, trained in the hardcore style by the ultraviolent monkey himself, Jun Kasai. There's a reason I wear a shirt when I compete, you know." (Takes off his t-shirt, to reveal disgusting pink scars criss-crossing his chest.) "See this one? Barbed wire, 100 light tubes, exploding ring match. And this beauty right here? Weedwhacker shot in an exploding anal bomb death match." (Puts shirt back on.) "You see, Stephanie, I have no loved ones. No one cares if I live or die. All I have, the only thing that keeps me going, is professional wrestling, and I do whatever it takes to make it to the top. Pain for Fame my friend, Pain for Fame, it's a trade-off that I've lived with my whole life, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. Tonight, you're dealing with someone who has nothing to lose, and that should make you very, very afraid." Jesse: Pah, afraid? Stephen Joseph? That kids going to get HURT, Jim Ross, seriously HURT. If he dies, the insurance company shouldn't even pay out, there must be a stupidity clause somewhere. JR: He's got guts Jess. You can't deny that. This match is coming up after this break! COMMERCIALS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2012 Our arena darkens, blue lights swirling around, signaling the arrival of one Jay "Shooter" Doring. A rising star on iZ, he faces Andrew Hyland at School's Out for the North American championship. Tonight, he faces Stephen Joseph, leader of the terrible Trinity, without a partner...Undisputed is...no more. "The Fake Sound of Progress" sounds and the blue lights strobe in effect, bringing out the #1 Contender to a rousing chorus of cheers. He wears his bomber jacket this time into the ring, hoping it offers him some semblance of protection from the flames. As Jay checks out the ring, we see that the ropes have been oiled, and on the ring floor there is a gas can per turnbuckle...Stacked on the sides are tables and other assorted wooden objects. Yellow-shirted security surrounds the ring floor barricade to ward off any debris from the fans... The lights go back down, the arena becomes even more silent. A blood-red crucifix appears on the Angle-Tron, with "Come with Me" slowly filling the arena ominously. Stephen Joseph, clad in his normal attire save for a full-length black cloak and hood, marches toward the ring...His cloak thrown off, he poses crucifix-like on the nearest turnbuckle, oblivious to the reaction of the fans. Jumping into the ring, Jack Doan from the time-keeper's position rings the bell. Stephen Joseph Finisher: FallenAngel (Stalling Vertical Suplex Rock-Bottom) Perhaps the greatest Technical iZ Wrestler Large Experience Edge Fanatic Jay Doring Finisher: AfterThought (Old School Expulsion) Fastest-Rising iZ Star Still Green Intense Will to Win ::Ding, Ding, Ding:: Stephen Joseph stares into Doring's eyes...beckoning him with a right handed gesture to come towards. Rather, Jay paces back and forth on his side of the ring...finally causing Stephen to start circling around. As they circle, Stephen ducks and lowers...assuming a more MMA-style stance which seems to be pulled out for "the big matches" Jay turns with a standing side-kick, caught into a dragon-screw slam~ by SJ...The flames emerge and fire up as Jay's impact is felt, then gradually subside. SJ grabs Jay's leg and folds into a Stretch Muffler...Each ripple of SJ's bumping motion hurting Shooter's leg. Jesse: I think he's already got a body part picked out. JR: Cmon Shooter! Closing in on thirty seconds in the muffler, SJ jumps up at the apex of the ripple and tries to swing Doring into a piledriver. Jay counters by rotating on Popick's shoulder blades, planting a ddt to light the ropes again...quick cover by Jay gets a 2 count before a resounding kickout. Popick tries to get up, but Jay is there with a kick into his midsection...then a running kick to his head! SJ rolls close to the ropes. Popick begins pulling himself up by the ropes when Jay charges in with a spear that Stephen sidesteps! Jay flies through the middle rope and onto the ring floor! Stephen slides under the bottom rope and grabs gas can, opening it up and pouring it on Jay and the wooden table...He throws both into the ring, and grabs a blowtorch from under the ring...SJ comes in as Jay has recovered...running SHINING BLACK and Joseph drops the torch! A large "shooter" chant erupts from the crowd as the flames once again register an impact...Shooter picks Popick up and throws him towards the ropes...And shooter back bumps as Stephen hits the ropes...SJ's back burns! He flails around, rolling to put out the flames as Doring places the table against a turnbuckle...it too catches Fire! JR: This isn't going to be good. Jesse: He's sick! Popick stands up, turning around into a Double-Arm DDT...Jay, thinking Popick is groggy enough, flows with the move and picks him back up...Irish Whip to the flaming Table...NO! Stephen Reverses...Overhead BELLY TO BELLY! Jay crashes back first into the flaming table...his bomber jacket in flames...The pain acting to energize, Jay rolls onto the arena floor throwing off the jacket and rolling around to put out the flames...Stephen Joseph stands, arms outstretched Jay on the outside grabs another gas can...THROWING it into the ring. He also picks up a table...but Stephen runs by and jumps atop Jay and the table with a TOPE! Amazingly, Popick lands near on his feet, and thus sets up the table on the outside...putting Jay on top of it. Joseph grabs a nearby cigar from a fan, and flicks it at the table...Jay rolls off as the cigar hits, alighting the table with flames! Jay Spears Popick! And now he is on fire (figuratively!). Jay throws Popick back into the ring, placing him atop a turnbuckle...Shooter signaling to the fans...He calls an Old School Expulsion to the table outside...Both men now perched on the top rope...Stephen begins fighting it off...Jay picks Popick up...but Popick kicks down and reverses the momentum... STANDING TOP ROPE FALLEN ANGEL THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE! JR: He beat Angle-Plex with that move! Jesse: Get in the ring and PIN HIM! Both men are slow to recover, both mencovered in flames...Popick half-heartedly throws a still burning Jay into the ring, rolling himself in as well...Adding insult to injury...Popick picks Jay up...STUNNER! He thinks its all over...proving his point, he covers Jay, hooking the far leg... Jack Doan slides in to count 1! 2! 3...NO! SHOOTER GOT HIS HAND UP!!! Popick looks on in amazement...How the Hell? Several kicks to the gut later...Popick picks Jay up...this time for a Second FallenAngel...Jay TURNS IT INTO A HANGMANS NECKBREAKER! 1... 2... NO! Stephen turns his shoulder over! Jay looks at him as the fallen man gets up...yelling "I got you now!" Jay with ANOTHER shining black, but that's not how he wants to put him away...Jay goes outside and rolls back in with a FLAMING KENDO STICK...He Swings...misses! Popick yanks it away and cracks it broken over Jay's back! Jay's back is burning, but so is Popick's hand! And HE DOESN'T Care...ANOTHER SHOT and Jay gets on his knees...and Jay BEGS FOR ANOTHER SHOT! Popick swings, Jay ducks under and picks up Popick in an Electric Chair spot...Stephen goes for a reverse hurricanrana, but Jay STOPS THAT AS WELL.. REVERSE STYLES CLASH! 1... 2.... 3....NO! Popick got his shoulder up from that! Jay furiously pulls Popick up...and Flicks him off...STUNNER! Stephen slumps to the mat, and Jay goes back to the outside, grabbing the last gas can and blowtorch...He pours the gasoline all over Popick...Stephen slipping to get away...Jay tries to light the blowtorch....but before he can...Popick uses the slippery wet apron to spin around...SPINKICK to Jay's shin knocks him down as he lights the blowtorch... And then, the world for them...flashed in pain The ring ERUPTS in flames as both men burn...Even the ring ropes catch on fire, the ring showing signs of bending...But there they are...Popick and Jay, aflame and all...rolling off of opposite sides of the ring. Popick is the first to get to his feet, and he begins ripping off clothes, stripping down to his wrestling tights and shoes...everything else is burned...His chest is pink and red...and his eyes still arage. Jay turns around as well..pulling off his wrestling shirt and belt...The ring still burning...both men run back in...meeting in the middle with a flurry of fists... The crowd BOOS as DA POET runs from the back towards the ring with FLAMING BARB-WIRE...Poet yells at Popick who twirls around to grab the Wire...CRACK TO JAY and he goes down... Poet watches on but not for long....THE MAD CAPPA jumps from the apron railing, hitting a Deep Sea Drop on Poet! Popick stops his beating to meet Cappa coming into the ring, but Cappa ducks the shot...PLANTED DDT and Popick is down...Cappa pulls Jay up and hands him the Barb Wire Board... Flesh on Metal...Popick's back is ripped apart from the shots...burned and battered... Jay picks Popick up, and signals for his AfterThought...but Popick still has fight...and a few tricks...FIREBALL to Jay's face! Cappa and Poet both fight to the back on the outside...the barb-wire board, still aflame...rolls towards the middle of the ring...that sweet soaked spot...Popick clasps Jay... and the world goes red again...Flame meets gas...gas goes boom. A thud is heard admist the flames...shadows move in the smoke...and they still continue...ring or no ring, flesh or no flesh...the smoke going away. Popick and Jay are burnt, ripped apart and bleeding, still jockeying in a facelock ... Jack Doan stares in horror...and 4 members of the ring crew run out ... with DAMIAN GONZALEZ bringing up the rear...Damian yells at Jack...STOP THIS MADNESS! as the crew use extinguishers to calm the flames. Damian gets in the middle of both men, pulling them apart...AND THEY FLATTEN DAMIAN to the ring mat! Doring throws a punch again at Popick, and the two spill out of the ring...fighting around the ring until the late-arriving security pulls them apart... JR: MAH GAWD, THAT WAS BRUTAL! What a way to start a show! These two men just put everything on the line! The Dames is NOT going to take being treated like that! Jesse: He had it coming Jim Ross! JR: And so did Stephen Joseph! Jay Darring took it to him tonight! Jesse: He's just lucky. JR: The ring has been totally destroyed...we better get some clean up guys out here....guys? Guys? Jesse: Kevin Kelly should be here somewhere, he works for food, you know. JR: I'm getting some information, we're going to cut- COMMERCIAL BREAK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2012 The camera focuses on the parking lot of the arena. Suddenly, a black corvette drives into the lot. The crowd is growing with anticipation on who is in this nice car. The driver door opens....and out steps Puerto Rican Lightning. The crowd boos the moment his face is shown and the "P.R. Sucks!" chants start up. P.R.L. has a smile on his face and has the Puerto Rican Championship over his left shoulder. He is carrying a present as the passenger door opens and out comes Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. The male side of the crowd cheers when she is shown. Her hair is down and she is wearing a tight short blue dress with bracelets around her arms and black heels. She is also smiling and carrying several presents. Out from the car steps Mr. Boricua. The crowd boos him and he is unusually happy today. He is wearing a tuxedo and is smiling a big dumb grin. Puerto Rican Lightning: Ah, I feel great today! A week off will do that to ya. But, tonight, will defintley be a special night. For it is Mr. Boricua's birthday! Boricua, today we celebrate your birth and your mission in this world: to protect me from that no-good street punk MAD CAPPA at all costs!!! The crowd boos. PRL: Boricua, you just rode in your new black corvette. You like it? Mr. Boricua: Um-- PRL: Of course you do. After all, you got it from me. Puerto Rican Lightning. The BEST DAMN PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION EVER AND THE GREATEST ATHLETE IN THE OAOAST TODAY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!! The crowd boos. Chants of "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" are heard. PRL just won't shut up though. Puerto Rican Lightning: But enough about me. Tonight is your night Mr. Boricua! Smile that big smile you idiot--I mean, you big lug. IntenseZone is going to witness the Mr. Boricua Birthday Bash! The crowd pops. PRL sneers then smiles an evil grin. Lightning: But the audience will NOT be invited. The crowd boos. PRL: This is ONLY for me, Lindsay, and Mr. Boricua. NO ONE ELSE! Mad Cappa will NOT ruin this night for me--I mean Mr. Boricua. So, Mr. Boricua, are you ready? Mr. Boricua: YES! PRL: Lindsay, you ready? Lindsay: Ready P.R. PRL: Then let's get this party started, Lightning Crew style! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!! Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez all enter the arena. They are all carrying presents as the crowd boos. However, the camera picks something strange going on in the parking lot. This turns out to be Mad Cappa! The crowd pops as The Mad Cappa is seen standing in the parking lot. He looks at Mr. Boricua's corvette and gets an idea. He smiles wickely. Jesse: I got a bad feeling in my gut about this, JR. JR: This may be a memorable birthday for Mr. Boricua. And a memorable night right here on IntenseZone! We still have that big NA title match to come! Jesse: If we have a ring, JR. Look at those guys clearing up! How much do you think they get paid for this shit? JR: Minimum wage. Er, I mean...lets go backstage! *The camera opens up to the lockerroom where Sonic is pacing about. Janet is seated on the bench, clad in black jeans and a revealing white t-shirt with a black bra showing through. Sonic continues pacing as Janet just sighs* Janet: Look Sonic, calm down alright. Sonic: Uh-uh....you know full well what happened last week. Somebody's gonna pay tonight damnit. Janet: Just chill and try and focus on the North American Title match tonight okay? *Sonic pauses and stares at Janet* Sonic: Did you see what Drunken Fuck did to Lauren? He nearly broke her back on the guard rail with a Piss Drunk damnit. What the hell am I supposed to do? Just forget that ever happened? I mean come on Janet, christ... *Janet opens her mouth to begin to say something but shuts it as Sonic once again talks* Sonic: As far as Vitamin X is concerned, his ass is as good as mine. First he eliminated me and then he starts touching you. I respect your willpower and intensity Janet but if anybody touches you or Lauren, somebody's paying for it. *Janet gets up and touches Sonic's arm* Janet: Don't worry yourself over what Vitamin X did to me alright. Plus, you got in a few shots afterwards so tonight, I got something planned. You, just concentrate on your Title match tonight. *Janet kisses Sonic on the cheek before leaving as Sonic looks after her confused.* Sonic: North American Title match...Hyland, thanks for saving Janet but if you don't want to feel the pain, don't play the game *With that, Sonic walks out of the locker room, slamming the door shut hard before walking away down the hallway* JR: Sonic Youth means business tonite, I can't wait for that SLOBBERKNOCKER! Fans, when we come back we have K-Ness in action against a very special opponent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2012 (Ace Reporter Gary Holmes is seen walking backstage when he runs across Orion) GARY Orion. Just the man I was looking for. ORION What the hell is this? You come to gloat about throwing me out of the battle royal? GARY Have you been smoking the reefer? I wasn't in the Battle Royal! ORION Oh that's right...I forgot you're Gary Holmes Ass Reporter for the Daily Suck. I have an idea how about I take that stupid hat you're wearing and stuff it down your throat till you choke just like you did in the Battle Royal. GARY Boy you insane in the membrane...insane in the brain...he's insane got no brain! (Dances a little bit) I wasn't in the Battle Royal. I am not The Blurricane and I'll prove it to you. (Whistles loudly and in the distance Blurricane steps out of a room and gives a hokey thumbs up) ORION (Shaking his head) Cute...real cute. Well since you're "NOT" The Blurricane I want you to take a message to him. (Hauls off and decks Gary sending him to the ground and walks off) Jesse: Look whats next, JR. JR: Oh great, more of this? Jesse: Are you jealous there isn't a Jim Ross Birthday Bash? The camera cuts to the Mr. Boricua Birthday Bash dressing room. PRL, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Mr. Boricua are all shown watching Mad Cappa's match. PRL has an angry look on his face and glares menacigly at the T.V. Puerto Rican Lightning: I....hate....Mad....Cappa. He will pay for what he has done to me! You hear that Cappa! (PRL Stands up and yells at the T.V.) I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! NEVER! YOU HEAR THAT! I WILL DESTROY YOU! YOU WILL NEVER WRESTLE AGAIN ONCE WE FIGHT! NEVER EVER! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! Lindsay Gonzalez: Calm down P.R. Calm down! (P.R. sits back down. Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez comfort him) P.R.(Breathing hard): Okay. I'm cool. But Cappa will get what's coming to him. Am I right? Lindsay: Yup. Mr. Boricua Grunts. P.R.: Good. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!! JR: What a cryptic message from the Puerto Rican Champion. Jesse: Great athlete AND a fortune teller. Can this kid do anything else?!! JR: Next up we have a somewhat unusual promo...HURRY UP WITH THAT RING DAMMIT! ::Drunken Fuck stands with the British flag:: Hey, hey, hey, who the fuck do you think you are G-Money? You think you're Mr. Robin Fucking Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous Leach here? And you think the British are better than Americans? You gotta be fucking kidding me, you ugly stupid slack-jawed wanker. So, get your ass out and face me, otherwise you can take your fucking Sporty Spice girls with you and get the fuck out! And take the Union Jack too! ::Drunken Fuck throws the flag at the camera like a spear:: WHOO! FUCK THEM DIRTY BRITISH WANKERS! WHOO! JR: Yes...well, obviously we don't condone the opinions- Jesse: I do. I hate the British. JR: Ahaha, you don't mean that Jess. Jesse: I do. They're a bunch of- JR: Let's catch up with Blurricane! (Blurricane is standing backstage with Kevin Kelly. who's looking rather the worse for wear) KEVIN Blurricane I want to get your thoughts on last week's battle royal. BLURRICANE Well Citizen Kelly the Battle Royal will go down as one of the most entertaining things I have ever been a part of or ever seen! I have never laughed so hard in my life. KEVIN Why do you say that? BLURRICANE Why Kevin did you miss Orion's imitation of The Greatest American Hero? It was one for the ages. KEVIN I'm not quite sure I follow. BLURRICANE I'm talking about when Orion flew! He flew right over that top rope and came crashing down! I've never seen such grace. All I did was give the man a nudge! (The crowd cheers) He must have super powers! Why I bet he could scale tall buildings just like Spiderman. He'd stick right to the side with his Super SUCK-tion Powers! *hokey thumbs up* (The crowd laughs) KEVIN You seem to have no love lost for Orion. BLURRICANE I saw the man out here picking on BPP not long ago. No matter what things BPP, or whatever he's calling himself now, has moved on to it does not excuse what Orion did. As Intense Zone's newest hero I cannot stand by and watch such things happen. He walks around with a F13 belt? Whazzamaddawithim? Everyone knows there's no F13 key on a computer Keyboard! What does that even mean? KEVIN Orion is a very confident individual and he also has a dirty ref in his pocket so he's not one to be taken lightly. BLURRICANE You're talking to a super hero Kevin. I will happily take on any and all challengers including Orion, but it seems Reject wants a piece of him first. So someday down the line our paths will cross and the dastardly Orion will know that crime does not pay! KEVIN Crime?? (Kevin looks a little confused, but regains his composure) Blurricane before time runs out I wanted to ask you another question. What happened in the Battle Royal when you were eliminated? Take us through what went wrong. BLURRICANE What went wrong? (Stands in a thinking pose with his hand on his chin) The only thing that I can think up is that my super strength must have shifted the ring as I leaped off the top rope for the Blurred Reality causing me to land on the top rope! Sometimes I don't know my own strength! KEVIN (Looking like he's about to start laughing) Well thank you Blurricane it has been a pleasure. BLURRICANE No thank you Citizen Kelly! Remember kids be cool stay in school. Say no to drugs. Always look both ways before crossing the street! Eat your vegetables. Wash behind your ears. Don't do that or your face will stick that way. Dont...(the screen fades out as Blurricane rambles on) JR: I've heard that Stephen Joseph is STILL in the arena! Jesse: That just shows the strength of the man. JR: Right now we're due- Cue: By_Myslf (Reanimation Remix) by Linkin Park The electronic beeping serves as a guide for the arena's lights as they pulsate to match it. The bass drops in along with the guitar and the OAOAST Arena is rocking for a few moments, wondering what's going on before the music dies out with a faint scream in the background . . . What do I do to ignore them behind me? SPIDERPOET emerges from behind the curtain to tremendous boos and slowly . . . very slowly, makes his way towards the ring! Do I follow my instincts blindly? Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams and give in to sad thoughts that are maddening? Do I sit here and try to stand it? Or do I try to catch them red handed? Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness? Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin I make the right moves but I'm lost within I put on my daily facade but then I just end up gettin' hurt again By myself. SP slides in the ring and climbs the turnbuckle I can't rely on myself I ask why, but in my mind I'm fine I can't rely on myself I can't look around (it's too much to take in) I can't hold on (when I'm stretched so thin) I can't slow down (watching everything spin) The music dies down and Spidey takes a mic as the lights come up. The crowd regards him with a mixture of curiosity as he removes a knife from the long, blood red, white webbed trench coat he wears. It's a large, curved knife, it's handle an ivory dragon. Sp looks down at the ring for a moment while waiting for the crowd's booing to subside. SP Boo me. Go on, I'm not going to stop you. You have your voices and you make your own choices. Voices which give their talent to thoughts that I cannot prevent, nor would I want to. For I deserve it. I have failed the most important ones to me, I have lost the respect of someone dear. I had a job to do and I couldn't do it. I couldn't offer my strength when this person needed it. I couldn't get the job done. My heart bleeds, my insides scream, and my future has never, ever looked this dark. Any light I once possessed is truly gone now, and I welcome the darkness. But since the heart I speak of is not physical, it's blood has no voice. I stand here and you boo, your hearts and emotions somehow finding a voice I know not how to provide my own. ::SP raises the knife and looks at it:: At least . . . until now. JR: Oh my God, I hope we're not about to see what I think we're about to see, Jesse . . . Jesse: The son of a bitch is off his rocker. SP I have failed you, so often and so hard that my future has been forever altered. It's course has been irrevocably changed because of my failure to you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. ::SP opens his free hand and sets the mic down for a moment. He hovers the knife over his palm for a brief moment before SLICING OPEN his hand!:: SP (Picks the Mic back up) I make a vow to you now. I will not fail again, I will not falter. I will find my strength in this darkness and I will return. With the spilling of my blood, I promise you that I'll be back, though I'm not leaving. I may not be recognizable in my darkness, without my light, but I'm trusting you to know I'm in here. I'm trusting you to know. . . ::SP closes his wounded hand into a tight fist, squeezing blood out through his fingers. It drips from between them and from the bottom of his fist, pouring to the mat:: SP This is my vow. I'll be back. I'm sorry I've failed you. (SP collapses to his knees, still clenching his fist, blood still running into a pool on the ring canvas) Cue: Come With Me by Puff Daddy/Jimmy Page Uh hu, yeah Uh hu, yeah Uh Uh hu, yeah Uh Uh hu, yeah Uh Uh hu, yeah Uh Uh hu, yeah Yeah ::White Pyrotechnics fire off the stage as Stephen Joseph, absorbed in his black cloak, covering his burned body. His eyes are ashen, darkened on the sides, blazing with infernal light. He continues to march down towars the ring, oblivious to all.:: Hear my cries Hear my calls Lend me your ears See my falls See my errors Know my faults Time halts See my loss ::Stephen Joseph leaps onto the turnbuckle, posing Crucifix-style on the turnbuckle, before slowly turning his head to the bleeding poet.:: Know I'm lacking Backtracking Where I met you Pistol packing Itchy finger Trigger happy Try to trap me Bear rap Wire tap me Back-stab me Break the faith Fall from grace Tell me lies Time flies Close you eyes Come with me ::Stephen Joseph floats over the ropes and into the ring, SpiderPoet rising to meet him, one hand drenched in red, the other holding the knife of wondrous woundage.:: You said to trust you You never hurt me Now I'm disgusted To stand adjusted Certainly you fooled me Ridiculed me Let me hangin Now shit's boomerangin Right back at you Big long range Narrow minded Let be blinded I cosigned it Shit backfired But I'm bouncing back I'm grinded Not many were there Pressure You comprehend me You want to end me You offend me Drama Feel the trama Come with me ::Stephen Joseph grabs the knife, wenching it away from SpiderPoet. Ever so slightly, he draws the blade over his left hand, clasping bloody left hand with bloody left hand...blood dripping down in a pact not meant for the pure.:: close my eyes And I see You Standing there I cry Tears Of sorrow I die Uh hu, yeah I fought my enemies Fought my foes Damn these hoes You steppin on my toes Back up off me Take your hands off me Give me room to breathe I'm not hearin I'm not fearin it I'm up to my ears in it Bullshit I'm destructive So when they find that deductive So say it's lunacy But luckily I'll be movin on I ignore you Sorry if I bore you I neglect you Don't mean to disrespect you Can't you see I love you dearly And that's sincerely But you annoy me You can't afford me I'm here to stay Forever, and ever In a day that's never I can't let you go I can't forget it Why you did it I won't permit it I wanna quit it I wanna fight you I'll fuckin bite you Can't stand nobody like you You can't run You can't hide No surprise Close your eyes Come with me ::Stephen throws the cloak down, revealing a new shirt. On it, on the back, runs the blood-red pictures of BigMcLargeHuge, CobainWasMurdered,Angle-Plex,Superstar,Some Guy, Caboose along the sides. In the middle, a white portrait of Zack Malibu. The trinity logo is emblazoned over them all. On the front, the shirt reads in gothical text, "The Quit Squad" and underneath in dripping red "Your time has come" Hear my cries Hear my calls Lend me your ears Uh hu You're ready now Come on, check this out Here my cries Here my calls Lend me your ears Uh Oh yeah, that's right Oh yeah, that's right for you Hear my cries Hear my calls Lend me your ears See my falls See my errors Know my faults Time halts See my loss Know I'm lacking Backtracking Where I met you Pistol packing Itchy finger Trigger happy Try to trap me Bear rap Wire tap me Back-stab me Break the faith Fall from grace Tell me lies Time flies Close you eyes Come with me I wanna fight you I'll fuckin bite you Can't stand nobody like you You can't run You can't hide No surprise Close you eyes Come with me I'm gonna take you with me I'm here to stay Forever, and ever In a day that's never Come with me ::'Come with me' fades out as Joseph is handed the microphone by the Poet. The boos subside, the crowd wondering what now shall befall them.:: SJ This is my ANTHEM, Stanza Two. Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free. Stand up and be proud Michael...be very proud. The humble man is a fearless man, faith sets him free, unstoppable. Even mighty Saul had to repent, and look what came of him, the greatest of all the prophets...You are my greatest prophet, my greatest child. Look unto these men... ::Shows the back of his shirt to the camera:: These men have one thing in common. They tried to run. You cannot run from me. They leave and they leave quickly when the sunlight's glow slips away. When their GLORY run ends. It's because in this dream, that's what you do. And if you spare a last thought, maybe it's the ghosts you think about. Ghosts like these men. You think those who have come back have any soul...They are false men, hollow men, ghosts of a shell of a man. THEY are NOTHING. And HE surrounds himself with them, these false prophets, these GLORIOUS wrestlers. THEY QUIT! THEY'RE COWARDS! But love is what matters...maybe that's all we get to take with us when we go out of the blue and into the black. And that Poet, I have love for you, and Dandy too. I wish he was here tonight, but Dandy....Dandy is on a mission of salvation for someone dear to us. Dandy will bring HIM back...back to ourselves, back to the Trinity of hope. Hope hurts. It is that sliver of Pandora that stays in your finger, aching to be let out, and when you do, it hurts, but its relief is addictive. We hope...we hope to show the world that we are the true ones. Remember that hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. Bad things die Poet. Bad People die too...Like these men ::Again, he shows the camera the shit:: These men are dead in their soul, if not outright dead. They are the obstacle to which our righteous reign is impeded. No more...no more. You can't outrun the Dark Man. Life is such a wheel that no man can stand upon it for long. And it always, at the end, comes round to the same place again. That's why Zack, that's why its you and me once again, our soul intertwined in destiny. A destiny of salvatory light, of greatness. Zack, I Shall RESCUE you from your material bondage! Help us to be true o' Lord - help us to STAND !! To follow one star is to concede the power of some greater force, some Providence; yet is it still not possible that the act of following itself is the taproot of even greater power? Your GOD, your DEVIL, owns the keys to the lighthouse. That is the power I have. Everything here revolves, in some way, around ME. The contoversy...ME...the glory...ME, the day to day bullshit ME...Poet, its like they think I'm the one around here...Well, I'm not...I'm a pawn and a tool myself, but for what end? I serve my GOD, who sayeth to me to persevere these tribulations, cast away from the flock of fowl lemmings, and bring those pure sheep to the glory of his power...I seek to save this federation...not for me, but for GOD himself. My first Epistle shall be the cleansing of Zack Malibu. We're here under the fiat of powers we don't understand. I do not question my role, I simply play it out my role, my acting. Oh God guide our hands in heavenely grace. Let not our foes strike us down in hate. Let us see oh God, that we love them...But we shall not die for THEM! I swear - by my life and my love for it -- that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine. I ask him to live for truth instead. The truth sets you free...Swing Low, sweet Chaaariooot...Coming forth to take Zack home...Swing Low, sweet Charrioot...Coming forth tom make us freeee. This is a tale of rememption. This is a tale of love...But mostly, this is a tale of pain. Our pain is our love, our misguided friends. Poet, let not the pain fool you, for we are among angels now. WE are the salvation water, the holy eucharist, the penance of all here. If we be punished, we be punished to take away their sins, not ours...We, are graced divinity...We are the hope. We are the Trinity. Quit...never. We shall overcome. CUE: Come with Me Stephen Joseph and SpiderPoet walk out of the ring and land softly on the ring floor, walking to the backstage in heretical grace. Their eyes shone brightly, the crowd stayed still...These men...something was dreadfully wrong. COMMERCIALS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2012 We cut to the locker room of Mystery Eskimo, to a pop from the crowd. Our favourite masked Inuit has a file on his lap. A shadow falls over him, and he leaps up, almost decapitating TONY SCHIAVONE~! Eskimo: Tony? What the hell are you doing here? Tony: I heard a ring needed putting up. And I thought I'd do some interviewing while I'm here. Eskimo: We're not PAYING you, are we? Tony: Minimum wage. Hey, whats that there? Eskimo: *turning serious* Medical records. Tony: For JINGUS? Eskimo: You got it. I'm trying to find...something, anything. Everyone knows he got his super strength from those mutant steroids. Maybe there's a way to reverse the process. Give him his life back. Or end it, if it comes to that. Tony: If he finds you've got those... Eskimo: I don't think I can get him any madder than he already is. An explosion shakes the locker room. We cut to the ring, where clouds of smoke are billowing out from under the ring. JINGUS appears through the smoke, mic in hand. JINGUS: JUST GET THE HELL OUT HERE NOW, YOU SON OF A BITCH! DON'T MAKE ME KIDNAP DEREK! Jesse: Old skool, Jim Ross! JINGUS stomps the ring. A couple of security guards slide into the ring, only to get CLAWSLAMMED straight out again. JINGUS: OK, HAVE IT YOUR WAY! The Devilman races out of the ring, and backstage, into the locker room, where he meets Eskimo coming out. He snatches the medical notes and they burn in his hands! JINGUS grabs Eskimo by the throat and CHOKESLAMS HIM THROUGH THE WALL~! JINGUS roars and charges in after him, a close up of his wild eyes filling the screen, knocking the camera to the floor...we lose feed for a second before... We're back once again with Mr. Boricua's Birthday Bash. All the presents have been unwrapped and there are paper and drinks lying around. The crowd boos the moment PRL is shown. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is shown putting her head on Lightning's shoulder. Lightning smiles as he looks at her then the Puerto Rican Championship. Chants of "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" Puerto Rican Lightning: Ah. Like I said, I feel great. I got my girl, my bodyguard, and most important, my belt with me. The Mad CRAPPA is nowhere to be found and we are celebrating Mr. Boricua's birthday. Yes, there is nothing that can possibly go wrong now. PRL smiles...but his smile quickly turns into worry as he looks at the T.V. screen. The camera shows the parking lot and centers on Mr. Boricua's corvette. Jesse: What the hell is going on? JR: The WarZone concept is making for a hell of a show, no one knows what could happen next! The camera zooms in to a certain area of the lot as loud honks are heard! The Mad Cappa shows up from the darkness as he is guiding something! JR: It's Mad Cappa! Jesse: No! What the hell is he doing here? He's already had a match! He should just go take a shower now and go back to the hotel! HE SHOULD NOT BE HERE NOW! *HONK HONK* A huge cement truck shows up! The truck accidentally runs over some lights in the process! The crowd cheers madly as the camera cuts back to Puerto Rican Lightning, who is shocked. JR: This probalby won't end up good for Puerto Rican Lightning! Jesse: You damn right it won't! Cappa's mission in life is to make Lightning's life a living hell! How dare Cappa do this! Cappa directs the truck to Mr. Boricua's black corvette. Cappa takes his trusty bat and smashes one of the windows! Jesse: That car cost millions of dollars! Cappa is just destroying it in seconds! JR: And the fans are loving every minute of it! The crowd cheers wildly. The cement truck driver comes out and directs the pourer through the windows at Cappa's command! Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are all shown pleading for the cement truck not to do what they think it is going to do. PRL: NOOOO!!!! Cement is now coming out of the truck and into the car! The crowd is going wild. JR: CEMENT! CEMENT! CEMENT! Jesse: You always wonder how low PRL will go? How can you justify what Cappa is doing right now?!! So much cement is poured in that all the other windows shatter as the cement overflows! Cappa is laughing loudly! "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Happy Birthday, Mr. Boricua! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jesse: Mr. Boricua must be heartbroken! His best gift is gone! All gone! Cappa should be ashamed of himself! That no good street punk! He should be ashamed of himself! The cement truck driver stops the flow and drives away as Cappa walks away in glee! Some production members then walk over as they gasp in the awe of the destroyed car! The camera cuts to PRL, Mr. Boricua, and Lindsay. They are simply stunned. PRL is furious. He leaves the dressing room as Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez comforts Mr. Boricua who is crying. JR: BAW GAWD, business is about to pick up! Jesse: Puerto Rican is looking for some payback. JR: And we will bring it to you right after this - wait! Bah gawd, more mayhem backstage! IntenseWarZone is making life very unpred- COMMERCIALS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2012 We're back to a confused looking Jim Ross, then cut to JINGUS and Eskimo brawling through the OAOAST main office. JINGUS slams Eskimo into the wall again and as he comes off SPEARS him through a convinient window. Eskimo is busted open, and JINGUS closes in. JINGUS: Not long to go, Eskie. Not long till your pain is mine and I take your damn soul back to hell with me. School's out...you must have wondered what I had planned for you. Well...I thought about all the ways I want to hurt you...all the ways I want to see you bleed out...and I just couldnt chose...I saw you chatting to that bitch Schiavone...well here's another WCW throwback: Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal And I can guarantee that every damn match on that wheel will make you throw up with fear. I want every second between now and School's Out to be filled with your doubt and your indecision. What do you say, Eskimo? Are you up to this? C'mon boy, answer me! Eskimo drags himself out of the pile of wood and glass, and looks JINGUS in the eye. JINGUS pauses for an evil laugh, and Eskimo kicks him in the gut and gives him a KILLERWHALEPLEX onto the floor! Eskimo: Oh, I'm up to it, J. Bring your wheel, bring your pain, bring it all. JR: BAH GAWD! A SPIN THE WHEEL MAKE THE DEAL MATCH! Jesse: Meh, they suck. JR: But JINGUS is going to make each match a BLOODBATH, BAH GAWD! Jesse: This is going to be awesome! Mystery Eskimo is going to DIE, Jim Ross! Ahahahahaha! JR: Easy there Jess- take a look at this! (Cut to the backstage area. Puerto Rican Lightning is furious and is walking down an aisle) Jesse: There is Puerto Rican Lightning! JR: Puerto Rican Lightning looks furious. Jesse: As well he should. After what Mad Cappa did to him, he deserves whatever he gets. JR: What a humanitarian you are. Jesse: Thank You. Lightning yells out: "CAPPA! MAD CAPPA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU CRAPPA! YOU CAN'T HIDE FOR LONG! MAD CAPPA!!!" Puerto Rican Lightning sees a lockerroom door marked "IntenseZone Superstars." Lightning smiles and opens the door. Jesse: Here we go Ross! The IntenseZone WarZone is in effect! JR: Indeed it is Jess. The WarZone starts now! The locker room door busts open as Puerto Rican Lightning flips out of there onto a stack of OAOAST magazines! The Mad Cappa walks out with his bat and swings wildly at Lightning! The crowd cheers. JR: BAW GAWD~! It looks like Cappa has PRL's number! Jesse: Strike one. Strike two. Strike three! Cappa struck out! Lightning crawls away to avoid Cappa! Lightning starts to crawl quickly with Cappa following! Lightning gets up to run away! JR: PRL is such a coward! He is afraid of The Mad Cappa! Jesse: He is not! He is just going to look for a weapon to combat Cappa with! He is NOT AFRAID OF MAD CAPPA! JR: Cappa swings again as Lightning ducks! Lightning trips over the power cords and knocks over a makeup table! Cappa is about to swing at Lightning again, but Lightning grabs some make up powder and blows it at Cappa's eyes! JR: What a cheap move. Jesse: Cheap...but effective. JR: Cappa is screaming! Lightning grabs a lightbulb and gets up. OH MY! I CAN'T BELIEVE! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS JUST SHATTERED A LIGHTBULB OVER MAD CAPPA'S HEAD! Jesse: Don't try this at home, kids. JR: But it looks like it has only made Cappa more mad. He swings the bat at Lightning's gut! Jesse: This feud just gets more intense every week on IntenseZone. The Mad Cappa swings the broom on the floor with his legs to knock down Lightning's legs! Cappa walks over to a chest while Lightning is trying to crawl away! Cappa quickly pushes the chest towards Lightning! Lightning leaps away as the chest breaks open on impact on the wall! Jesse: HA! PRL got out in the nick of time. Only a man with his speed could do something that amazing. Oh, how great Lightning is! Lightning grabs a busted open paint can and spills red paint all over Cappa! Lightning furiously tosses the can at Cappa! Cappa steps away to avoid the can! JR: Cappa grabs Lightning by the bandana. He's now going for a piledriver. Lightning grabs a mirror and smashes it over Cappa's head! Cappa goes down! Jesse: GIVE IT TO HIM P.R.! GIVE IT TO HIM! Lightning starts kicking away at Cappa! Lightning grabs Cappa's bat, but Cappa low blows Lightning! Jesse: What a cheapshot! I bet you'll defend that aren't you JR?!! Cappa smashes Lightning's face on a door! Lightning clutches his face in agony! Cappa grabs hold of Lightning and goes for a powerslam to the wall and then to the tile floor! Lightning clutches his back in pain! Cappa yells out, "One More"! Jesse: No more Cappa! No more! Leave him alone! He goes for it again, but falls back to the gate fence with Lightning on top as Cappa loses his balance! Cappa sprains his ankle! Lightning runs away as Cappa mends to his ankle! A loud door slam is heard off camera. (Cut to the annoucer's table) JR: Well. That was certainly interesting. Jesse: Cappa is a heartless punk. That's all he is. How could he do this? How could he possibly attack Puerto Rican Lightning? A poor, defenseless Puerto Rican Lightning? It's not fair damnit! PR does not deserve this! JR: There are many people who disagree with you Jess. Anyway, folks, we are not done yet with the WarZone coverage. Jesse: We ain't? JR: No. I am being told that as soon as we get more cameras in postition, we will go back to the action. I am being told that Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa are brawling backstage as we speak, but next we have our main event, that match for the OAOAST North American Title. COMMERCIALS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2012 North American Title Andrew Hyland© vs Sonic Youth w/Janet "Come Out and Play" blasts over the speakers as the crowd stands to their feet, cheering as Sonic Youth makes his way out followed by Janet, Lauren absent from her injuries on last week's Intense Zone event. Spotlights light the ramp as Sonic makes his way down towards the ring, high fiving fans along the way. He helps Janet in as Sonic climbs onto the 2nd turnbuckle and does a crucifix pose when "Also Sprach Zarathrustra" starts up as Andrew Hyland walks out to loud boos and cat calls from the fans. He points to his North American Title and makes his way to the ring, grinning and mocking the fans. He slides in and eyes Sonic before taking his Title off and handing it to the referee. JR: As you can see Jesse, Sonic Youth is without Lauren due to events at last week's IZ however he still has Janet in his corner and Andrew better watch his back at all times. Jesse Ventura: Come on Jim Ross, Andrew is the North American Champion for a reason. He'll have no problem taking out this chumpstain. Both men lock up and jockey for position as Sonic presses Andrew into the corner but releases and backs away. They lock up again and Andrew drives Sonic into the corner but breaks the hold. Andrew releases and backs up before extending his hand in a handshake. Sonic accepts but gets a thumb to the eye from Hyland as Hyland smirks to the booing crowd. Andrew kicks Sonic in the mid-section and irish whips him to the ropes, catching him with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. Andrew makes a lazy cover. 1.....2....kickout by Youth. JR: Andrew Hyland obviously thinks Sonic Youth is no match for him. Jesse Ventura: Sonic Youth is a newcomer JR, he stands no chance against a Hero like Andrew Hyland. Andrew is poised as Sonic gets back to his feet. Andrew charges at Youth but Youth leapfrogs as Hyland bounces off the ropes, Youth catching Andrew with a dropkick to the knee. The crowd cheers a little as Sonic grabs Andrew's leg and drives it down knee first to the mat a couple times. Andrew slowly hobbles to his feet as Sonic bounces off the ropes and delivers a chop block, Andrew clutching his leg instantly as he hits the ground. Jesse Ventura: That's illegal! DQ him! JR: What are you talking about Jesse? Jesse Ventura: That was a chop block which is illegal in football JR, thus it should be illegal in the squared circle. JR: Oh please, you sicken me Ventura. Sonic climbs onto the apron and waits. Andrew gets to his feet as Sonic tries for a springboard dropkick but Andrew sidesteps the move causing Sonic to splash into the mat hard. Andrew picks up Sonic and delivers a snap suplex and smiles to the crowd. Hyland hobbles a little as he rolls Sonic onto his back and climbs onto the apron. Andrew slingshots himself in, hitting a somersault senton to a little applause as he makes the cover with 1 hand. 1....2...another kickout by Youth. JR: If Hyland doesn't watch himself, he may end up getting surprised. Jesse Ventura: Come on JR, Hyland's a veteran. That somersault maneuver was impressive and you know it. JR: Indeed it was and I'm not doubting his skills at all. Jesse Ventura: I'm sure you aren't JR. Hyland chops Sonic across the chest hard repeatedly, sending Sonic towards the corner. Andrew nails a couple right hands but Sonic nails a kick to the stomach and shoves Hyland into the corner. Sonic lifts up Hyland and sets him on top. Sonic tries for a Superplex but Hyland reverses it with a front suplex, sending Sonic crashing into the mat hard. Hyland goes the cover. 1....2....kickout by Youth. JR: What a reversal there by Andrew Hyland however Sonic was able to kick out. Jesse Ventura: That's the way to do it Hyland. JR, stop kissing Hyland's ass. JR: Shut up Jesse. Hyland picks up Sonic and delivers a series of backbreakers as Sonic clutches his back in pain. Andrew picks up Youth and lifts him up for a powerbomb however Youth rolls through with a sunset flip! 1....2....3..no, kickout by Hyland at the last possible second. Hyland gets up and charges at Youth, trying for a clothesline but Youth ducks it and nails a spinning wheel kick, sending Hyland to the outside. Janet backs away as Sonic measures Andrew and charges towards Hyland, nailing a beautiful No Hand Somersault Plancha to a HUGE pop. JR: what a maneuver by the young man known as Sonic Youth. Jesse Ventura: Come on Hyland, stay outside! You'll keep your title that way. As the referee reaches the count of 7, Sonic rolls Andrew back into the ring. Sonic climbs onto the apron and waits for Hyland to stand up. Sonic hits a springboard hurricanranna, grabbing both legs. 1....2....2 and 1/2 as Hyland kicks out. Sonic sighs in slight frustration and gets back to his feet. Sonic nails a few quick jabs and goes for a clothesline but Hyland ducks it, nails Sonic in the back with a forearm shot and hits a Dragon Suplex!!! Hyland is exhausted and lifts up Youth...there's a 2nd Dragon Suplex!!Hyland barely has the strength to lift Youth up again. The 3rd Dragon Suplex connects but Hyland doesn't have the strength to keep the bridge. Hyland crawling, he places an arm across Youth's chest. 1.....2.....3! No!! Janet placed Youth's foot on the rope! Jesse Ventura: That jezebel! The witch, get her out of here!!! JR: Youth's foot was on there before Janet walked over Jesse. Jesse Ventura: Oh bullsh** JR! Andrew gets up, irate and walks over towards Janet. Andrew leans over the ropes, threatening Janet as Sonic slowly stumbles to his legs. Sonic spins Andrew Hyland around and whips him towards the ropes. Sonic catches Hyland with a roll through into a Half Crab!! Sonic is wrenching on Hyland's leg as Hyland screams in pain! Hyland is desperately reaching for the ropes! He's crawling with his fingertips and manages to grab the bottom rope with his pinky and ring fingers, breaking the hold to loud ohhhs from the crowd. JR: My god, Sonic almost won the North American Title there. Jesse Ventura: That's what a Hero does JR, defeats the odds. Sonic waits for Andrew to stand up and catches him with a couple forearm smashes. Sonic whips Hyland towards the corner as Hyland hits with a hard thud. Sonic charges at Andrew Hyland but Hyland gets his boot up and catches Sonic flush in the jaw! Andrew kicks Sonic in the mid-section, Brainbuster!!! Andrew makes the cover, hooking the leg. 1....2....3! No, Sonic gets the shoulder up at 2 and 3/4ths as the crowd ohs at the near fall. Jesse Ventura: Sonic's shoulder was down JR!! JR: He got it up at the last second Ventura and you know it. Andrew picks up Sonic and sets him up for the HERO DRIVER. Andrew has Sonic up but Sonic slips out, gets Hyland in a Full Nelson and hits a Dragon Suplex of his own!! 1....2....kickout at 2 and 1/2 by Hyland. Sonic climbs onto the top rope and waits for Hyland to get up. Moonsault onto the standing Hyland! 1....2....foot on the ropes at 2 and 3/4ths. Sonic is growing increasingly frustrated at this point. Sonic charges at Hyland but Andrew tosses Sonic over the top rope....wait a minute, Sonic skins the cat to a big pop but gets nailed with a dropkick from Hyland. Andrew Hyland heads towards the corner and climbs onto the top rope. JR: Could we be seeing the Herosault? Jesse Ventura: It's all over JR, kiss the chumpstain goodbye. Andrew is perched, HEROSAULT but Sonic moves! Sonic barely manages to roll out of the way in time. Sonic draping an arm, 1....2.....no! Shoulder up by Hyland as the crowd nearly has a heart attack. Both men make it to their feet at the same time and begin to slug it out. Andrew grabs the ref by the shirt collar and low blows Sonic Youth! FISHERMAN'S BUSTER! There's a cover and Hyland hooks the leg. 1.....2.....3!! NO, Youth manages to kickout! JR: Oh my god, what a match folks. Jesse Ventura: He had it JR, Hyland had the match won there damnit. Youth is stumbling to his feet. Hyland charges for a lariat but Youth ducks the lariat. Sonic with a boot to the stomach, FLOWING DDT! Youth planted Hyland square on his head with that. Sonic with the cover. 1.....2....2 3/4ths! Youth pounds the mat in frustration. Sonic waits for Andrew to get to his feet. Russian Leg Sweep by Youth! Sonic grabs Andrew's feet, there it is, Sonic's locking in his TWILIGHT finisher! Hyland's screaming in agony as he is desperately grabbing for the ropes! Youth has it cinched in the middle of the ring as Hyland is grabbing at his hair in the agony. JR: Wait a minute, what the hell? Jesse Ventura: Looks like someone's coming for a visit JR. Out on the ramp walks Vitamin X! Huge boos as Vitamin X makes his way down the rope as Janet catches him and begins to motion to Sonic. Sonic sees Janet's franticness and releases Twilight. Sonic turns to the ramp and spots Vitamin X! Vitamin X begins to back away as Hyland is still on the mat, writhing in pain. Sonic is shouting and pointing at Vitamin X as Andrew Hyland is finally able to make it to his feet. Hyland hobbles over to Youth, spins him around and kicks him in the stomach! Hyland lifts up Youth for the HERO DRIVER and connects!!! Hyland makes the cover. 1.....2....Janet once again pulls Youth's leg onto the bottom rope! Here comes Vitamin X! Janet quickly scampers to get away from X as Hyland is absolutely beside himself. The referee is trying to separate Vitamin X and Janet. Andrew's left the ring and grabbed the North American Title! He slides back in as Sonic is using the ropes to help get himself back to his feet. Hyland swings the belt but Youth ducks it and attempts another Flowing DDT but Hyland low blows Youth and hits a 2nd HERO DRIVER! JR: My god Jesse, so much chaos. Jesse Ventura: Hyland hit the Hero Driver JR, the match is over! Lauren comes out of the crowd as Janet falls onto the ramp and begins to back away. Lauren winds up and cracks the chair across the back of Vitamin X! The referee turns and spots Andrew Hyland covering Sonic Youth!! The referee slides in, 1.....2......3!!! Hyland retains his North American Title. On the ramp, Lauren lays another chair shot on Vitamin X! Lauren and Janet quickly make their way backstage as Vitamin X is laid out on the ramp. Sonic Youth is laid out in the ring and Andrew Hyland is holding up his North American Title to HUGE boos from the crowd. COMMERCIALS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2012 JR: What a main event Jesse! Andrew Hyland retains his North American Title with a 2nd Hero Driver while Lauren and Janet got revenge for Vitamin X's actions in the NA Title Battle Royal last week. Jesse Ventura: I told you Hyland would beat Youth Jim Ross! As far as what happened to Vitamin X goes, what goes around comes around and Lauren and Janet will get what's coming to them soon enough. JR: Come on Jesse, like being sexually molested was not enough? Jesse Ventura: Oh JR, Vitamin X was merely trying to keep Janet's bra from falling down any further last week. JR: You make me sick Jesse Ventura. Jesse: The feeling's entirely mutual. JR: What a way to end- wait- I am being told...that we now have cameras following The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning. Jesse: We do?!! JR: Yes. They are now heading to the kitchen area of this arena. And...yes...we can now go back there. Let's head backstage to the kitchen where Mad Cappa and PRL are brawling in the WarZone! Jesse: What are we waiting for? The kitchen door swings open as The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning are trading blows! All of the chefs in the kitchen run away in shock! They crash over to the stove area! JR: It is utter chaos here, Jess. Jesse: And I am loving every minute of it! HAHAHA! JR: Mad Cappa smashes Lightning’s face on the stove top! Lightning elbows Cappa on the gut as Cappa steps back! Lightning grabs a hot pan from the stove and swings at Cappa, but Cappa ducks and charges Lightning to the stove! A pot of boiling water gets knocked over both Cappa and Lightning! JR: OH MY! THE MAD CAPPA AND PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAVE PROBALBY BEEN BURNED BY THAT STEAMING HOT WATER!!! They are both screaming in pain! “AAAAAGGGGHHHH!” Cappa takes a couple of steps back as Lightning grabs an another pot and throws it at Cappa! Cappa gets hit! Cappa charges at Lightning as Lightning opens up the oven door! Lightning steps out of the way as Cappa spears right into the oven! JR: Puerto Rican Lightning grabbing a broom and breaks it on Cappa’s back! Cappa gets out and smacks Lightning with a pin! Cappa grabs Lightning, smashes Lightning’s face on the oven door that is still open, and places his hand near the edge as Cappa slams it shut! However, Lightning snatches his hand away at the nick of time! Jesse: Great move by Lightning. His intelligence really plays a part here. He must outsmart Mad Cappa at every turn! The Mad Cappa grabs a cookie sheet and smacks it over Lightning’s back! Lightning leans forward as he knocks open the fridgerator! Lightning grabs a bottle of ketchup. Lightning takes an egg and cracks it open near Cappa’s eyes! Cappa goes down and takes a jar of mayonnaise. He breaks it open over Lightning’s head! JR: And Lightning goes down! Cappa kicks down at Lightning a couple of times. Cappa goes to get a beer. He open it, takes a couple of chugs, and slams it near Lightning! Lightning rolls away and grabs a bag of flour. Lightning gets back and smacks the bag at Cappa as lots of flour fly everywhere and on Cappa and Lightning! JR: BAW GAWD! Things are a mess back there! Jesse: I hate to be the guy who cleans this up. JR: They probalby will continue fightning until one of them is not breathing! Lightning uses the cloud of flour as a chance to run away! As soon as the flour settles, Cappa runs out after Lightning. Cappa opens an another door as an another cameraman is on the other side. They are all in the cafeteria now! JR: And we now head into the cafertia now! Jesse: P.R. hyping "School's Out" this way. JR: Cappa grabbing hold of Lightning and glides him on the table through all the items! Lots of plates and glasses shatter and lots of food gets thrown off! JR: Cappa gets up on the table and goes for a legdrop, but Lightning tosses some hot coffee at Cappa’s face! Jesse: HA! Cappa clutches his face in agony! They both get off the table as Lightning throws a bag of chips! Cappa grabs a big bag of popcorn and smacks it over Lightning’s back! Lightning sells it like he was hit by a chair! Cappa slams some ice cubes near Lightning. Cappa grabs Lightning, smacks his head on the table, and sets him up on the table. Cappa gets up and does a CAPPABOMB through the table! The table breaks big time! JR: CAPPABOMB! CAPPABOMB! CAPPABOMB! Lightning however also smacks Cappa’s head with a glass bowl during the CAPPABOMB! Cappa also goes down! Lightning slowly crawls away, then gets up to run away as Cappa slowly gets up. Cappa then runs out after Lightning! The camera loses feed as Lightning darts out of the door! Jesse: No! Not now! JR: Wait. We are now following them. Jesse: They better JR! I am loving this all! A cameraman runs to the streets as The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning are slugging away at a bus stop! They are giving each other stiff punches! JR: Cappa Irish whips Lightning onto a soda vending machine! Lightning hits the machine so hard that a soda pops out! Cappa opens it up and starts drinking it. He immediately spits it out at Lightning’s eyes! He yells out, “YUCK! DIET”! He smacks the can at Lightning’s face! JR: What a sign of disrespect from Cappa! Jesse: Didn't his parents teach him any manners?! Cappa takes out a cigarette, lights it up, takes a couple of puffs, and proceeds to burn a mark on Lightning’s face! Lightning goes to clutch his face! Jesse: The Mad Cappa is defintley NOT a role model for children unlike Puerto Rican Lightning! JR: Cappa trying to rip out a STOP sign and smacks it over Lightning’s back! Cappa now taking Lightning over to a phone booth. The phone rings. Cappa answers it, “Hey. You want to speak to a loser? Well, here he is!” He wraps the phone cord around Lightning’s neck! JR: Some harsh words from The Mad Cappa! He deserves his shot at the Puerto Rican Championship! He chokes Lightning for a couple of seconds as Lightning low blows Cappa and slams his head on a newspaper stand! Lightning sees a baby about to have a lollipop. So he goes over to steal the candy from the baby! The baby starts crying! JR: What a role model, Puerto Rican is! The mom complains and takes out the pepper spray! Lightning knocks over the mother and takes the pepper spray! He then goes over to spray at Cappa’s face! JR: That no good-- Jesse: Easy, JR! JR: Cappa cowers his face as he screams, “AAAAAGGGGHHHH”! Cappa is in serious pain. Cappa is woozy and... OH MY! GOODNESS GRACIOUS! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS JUST SUPERKICKED THE MAD CAPPA THROUGH THAT PLATE GLASS WINDOW!!! Lightning gets up and runs to the actual street! Cappa catches up slowly behind him as they are slugging away in the street! Lots of cars stop as they honk for them to move out of the way! Lightning grabs Cappa and smacks his head on the car’s hood! Lightning then opens the driver’s door and tries to carjack the car ala Grand Theft Auto! JR: Puerto Rican Lightning should be arrested! However, the driver puts up a fight and punches him in the gut as the driver yells out, “PUNK ASS BITCH”! The driver speeds away! Cappa grabs Lightning and walks over to the other side of the street as they disappear into the woods! JR: Jess, I am being told that we are running out of time! Jesse: What?!! Just as it was getting good?!! JR: I'm afraid so Jess! But don't worry folks. Our cameras are still following Cappa and Lightning and we promise to bring you what happens next next week on IntenseZone! Jesse: Who knows where PRL and TMC are going now? JR: We will find out next week. Folks, its been a wild night, for Jesse "The Body" Ventura- Jesse: I can say it myself, Jim Ross. JR: -I'm Jim Ross saying Good Night and see you next week on IntenseZone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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