Living Angleously 2003

[Chanel #99]

The following presentation is from the OAOAST. The worldwide leader in parody e-fed entertainment.

TV

14

L,V,D

FRIENDS (Frends) n. 1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. 2. One that supports or patronizes a group or cause. 3. Chandler, Monica, Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe. 4. Popular NBC comedy series.

Clips of EvenflowDDT, Zack Malibu & Alison, during their days apart of the once popular IN CROWD. As the package rolls, the happy memories turn into the bitter Evenflow/Zack feud of today.

NARRATOR (Voice-Over)

Friendship is one of the most valuable assets in life. Most people can name dozens of acquaintances they have, but how many are lucky enough to be able to count as their own more than three or four friends?

Acquaintances are those people you've come to know in the general course of everyday life. The butcher in the supermarket where you buy your food; the driver of the bus that takes you to work or school; the clerk at GAP; your drug-dealer.

Friends are something quite different. Friends can call each other at any hour of the day or night to discuss the most personal of problems. Friends can count on each other in a crisis for help and support. Friends often know each other better than they know themselves or familes.

Zack Malibu and EvenflowDDT were once friends. They once shared each other's problems, helped each other in times of crisis, and celebrated each other's triumphs as if they were their own. They know each other's strengths and weaknesses perhaps better than they know their own. They have been as close to each other as two professional athletes can probably be.

And now they're going to war for the biggest prize in the OAOAST -- the OAOAST World heavyweight championship...at Living Angleously.

Pyro shoots off from the ringposts and rampways as the sold out crowd inside the Dunkin' Donuts Center go wild.

JR

What's that? Okay. Fans, I understand Orion is backstage with "Mean" Gene, demanding this time. Gene.

The camera cuts to "Mean" Gene standing backstage with a very confident looking Orion wearing the F13 Title belt on his shoulder and an "F vs. J: 8/15/03" T-shirt over his wrestling tights.

"MEAN" GENE

I'm here with the so-called 'F13 Champion' Orion, who, after only debuting in the OAOAST just a few weeks ago, will be facing the legendary Big Poppa Popick in just a few moments. Orion, two weeks ago on IntenseZone you had trouble beating Big Poppa Popick when he was in a wheelchair and seriously injured. How do you expect to beat him tonight now that he's 100%?

ORION (smiling confidently)

Well, Gene, as you've seen over the past few weeks I've shown my incredible wrestling abilities and uncanny quickness in my easy victories over Popick and over Reject; why could I possibly have any difficulty winning tonight? And besides, (chuckles) the security's pretty tight coming into the arena tonight; I heard he might have gotten held up on the way in here.

The camera suddenly cuts to an entrance in another part of an arena, where Popick is fighting off two burly masked men. One swings at Popick's head with a bat, but Popick ducks it, picks up the man's legs, and sidewalk slams him onto the concrete floor. The other assailant tries to sucker punch him from behind, but Popick turns around in time to block the punch and DDT him onto the concrete floor. Undaunted, Popick gets up and walks out of camera range.

The camera cuts back to Orion, whose smile has been replaced with a look of sheer terror. He numbly backs out of camera range and heads toward the ring.

Cameras get a shot of the unforgiving BLACK BARRED STEEL CAGE hovering above the ring.

THE SET: Two entraceways connect to the ramp in a triangle rock concert-like position, with a small triangle in the middle, where fans get to see not only the action up close, but the wrestlers themselves as they walk to the ring.

The set for the returning "The Body Shop" is located in center of the IZ & HD entranceway, shaped as the logo of "Living Angleously.

THE RING: Navy blue ringposts, black ropes, black and purple turnbuckle pads with the "burned" OAOAST logo, black ring aprons with the OAOAST logo.

LIVE

LIVING ANGLEOUSLY

PROVIDENCE, RI

JR

Hello again everybody. Welcome to Living Angleously. I'm Jim Ross, alongside hizzonor Jesse "The Body" Ventura.

Jess, it's a young night, and it's already started off wild. Big Poppa Popick, attacked by two masked men, but lucky for him, he was able to fight them off.

JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA

I'm not shocked at all at these turn of events. Popick is a marked man by many past and current OAOAST wrestlers; it could be just a random mugging gone bad; or it may be somethin' more, I don't know.

JR

Judging by the before and after look of Orion, I highly doubt it's a "mugging gone bad."

JESSE

Why do you have to be so cynical?

JR

Anyway, "Body," what a night of hard-hittin' wrestling action we have tonight, capped off with the battle for the OAOAST championship, as Zack Malibu makes his first title defense on pay-per-view in his hometown against former friend EvenflowDDT.

JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA

Zack shouldn't expect a homecoming, he should expect a massive beating at the hands of a man he BRAINWASHED--

JR

No he didn't.

JESSE (CONT'D)

in EvenflowDDT. He even took the guy's girl.

JR

You and your boy Tony "The Body" have been reading too many of 'Flow's crazy little notes. Half the stuff he's saying are lies.

JESSE

I'll take 'Flow's word over Zackie anyday of the week. Unlike the recently released movie "Mailbu's Most Wanted," tonight's feature presentation of "Malibu IS Most Wanted" will be a HIT at the hands of EvenflowDDT, who I predict will walk out as the new World heavyweight champion!

And speaking of "my boy," Ross; Tony's back with "The Body Shop." And I'm personally proud. Years ago, I used to do that very show, and seeing a man with the talent of Tony makes me so proud to be involved in his political hell-hole.

JR

Jess, Tony has been running around backstage all day saying he's got a huge scoop given to him by Evenflow on the, and I quote: "Homewrecker Zack Malibu." What's with that?

JESSE

Ross, I've seen what Tony's gonna show tonight on "The Body Shop" with special guest EvenflowDDT--

JR

Well that means it's bullshit.

JESSE (CONT'D)

Don't knock it till you see it. And all I'll say is, Zack Malibu IS a homewrecker. I couldn't believe my eyes. You know, Alison better watch out, that Zack may be a Scott Peterson type of guy.

JR

That's enough outta you. Let me send it to our colleagues Michael Cole and Jonthan Coachmen, who will call the HeldDOWN portion of Living Angleously.

JESSE

Who says gays don't receive equal rights?

JR

Hey now.

JESSE

I'm mean look at those guys, they're always happy.

The cameras pan behind JR & Jesse, where Cole & the Coach are sitting, just where the WWE spanish announcers do.

MICHAEL COLE

Thanks JR and Jess...I think. Anyway, fans tonight we've a great line-up of action on the HeldDOWN side of things; the returning SOME GUY facing-off with The Superstar inside a steel cage and much more.

COACH

Michael, everybody was shock to see Some Guy return. Many thought we'd never see him again. But with the returns of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Sable to the business, you never know what'll happen. Things are gonna be whacked and off the charts!

COLE

The promo he cut sent shockwaves throughout the office, but Some Guy is back! And he returns to face The Superstar inside a steel cage. That's sure to be an awesome match. Back to you, JR.

JR

All right, thank you, Michael. Before we kick things off with Orion vs. Big Poppa Popick. Let's welcome in the Chairman of the OAOAST Board of Directors "Cowboy" Bill Watts.

Bill, you saw what happened at the top of the show involving BPP, any comments?

BILL WATTS

First off, Jim. Another OAOAST pay-per-view has arrived and I'll like to thank you, the fans, for allowing us into your homes for without a doubt in my mind, the greatest company in the world of professional wrestling today.

As you know, tonight is the first OAOAST pay-per-view since the brand extension. Myself and the OAOAST Board of Directors have been in constant contact with both brand's commissioners. We don't except any games tonight, but that's not a sure bet, as we saw earlier. Something fishy is going on, and we'll find out one way or another.

The main event tonight is for the World's heavyweight title match will sure-to-be a barn-burner. With that said, let's hook 'em up!

JR

Let's head to the ring for our first -- what's this?

JESSE

It's the sound of music.

The arena goes dark, and odd, ambient music begins playing over the PA system, culminating in the ever-familiar "Connecting!" that heralds the start of "Komodo." THE SPIRIT LIFTER~! appears on the stage next to the LA entranceway, now with NEONS~ and BLUE AND GREEN L.E.Ds~ to illuminate its surroundings! The arena is also swept over with multi-colored lights and a massive disco ball lowers from the ceiling of the Dunkin' Donuts center. The crowd pops when the lights come up for a moment to finally show Max Zorin and Kotzenjunge, both with microphones, standing atop THE SPIRIT LIFTER~!

JR

The show was to start off with IZ talent, then HeldDown, but...

JESSE

Come on, Ross...it's the Boogie Knights, these guys are great. Shake your booty.

JR

My doctor says I shouldn't.

ZORIN

HOW IS EVERYONE DOING?? MAKE SOME NOIIIIIIIISE!!!

The crowd explodes and the arena goes dark again, save for the swirling lights and blacklight now in the place of real light.

KOTZENJUNGE Welcome to the first EVER Boogie Knights DANCE PARTY!!!!

ZORIN

Yeah, we know we don't have a match on this show, but we know a show isn't a show without us! Kotz, get the cannon!

Kotzenjunge goes into the cargo hold built into THE SPIRIT LIFTER~! and produces a small cannon. Zorin grabs a box and pours the contents into the cannon.

ZORIN

Before we begin though, everyone must be properly equipped!

The cannon fires, and a huge mass of glowsticks blows into the crowd! They reload it and fire it at the other side of the crowd also.

KOTZENJUNGE

Just snap the middle of the stick and bask in the glow!

The snappings are almost deafening on such a mass scale, but the arena is soon resembling a green anthill, with little green lights moving around perpetually. The "living" nature of the crowd now is a sight to see.

ZORIN

We know Evanescence is going to be here later to play our boy Zack to the ring...

KOTZENJUNGE

And while that singer IS hot...

ZORIN

That kind of stuff just isn't us!

KOTZENJUNGE

So, for you people tonight, we have, all the way from Italy...

BOTH

GIGI D'AGOSTINO!!!!

A black wall near the stage falls away to reveal a DJ stand with GIGI~ himself standing behind a pair of turntables!

ZORIN

Gigi, tell the crowd what you're here for!

Gigi speaks Italian.

KOTZENJUNGE

Um, what?

Gigi speaks more Italian.

ZORIN

Um, Kotz, could you come over here for a moment? Uno momento, por favor Gigi!

Gigi looks puzzled, but sits contentedly behind the DJ stand. Zorin brings Kotz over to a corner of the stage.

ZORIN

Kotz, you said he spoke English.

KOTZENJUNGE

He did when he was on the phone with me!

ZORIN

Are you sure you were talking to him and not his agent?

KOTZENJUNGE There's one way to find out!

They walk over to stand before Gigi.

KOTZENJUNGE

Gigi, can you say "high price for appearance?"

GIGI

High prize for appreance?

KOTZENJUNGE

Hmm...

He drags Zorin back to where they were talking.

KOTZENJUNGE

Yup, I talked to his agent only.

ZORIN

YOU SPENT $20,000 FOR HIM TO BE HERE!!!

KOTZENJUNGE

Calm down, man.

Zorin looks at his watch.

ZORIN

Crap! And we're already out of time! The next match is supposed to begin!

Zorin goes to pay Gigi while Kotzenjunge addresses the crowd.

KOTZENJUNGE

Okay folks, sorry this didn't go as planned, but don't you worry! We're having the Knights Dance Party for REAL next month at School's Out! That's right, we challenge the winner of the Tag Title match tonight to a match at School's Out! Whether it be those two rejects J.O.B. Squad and K-Ness...

Zorin has paid Gigi by this time and returns to address the crowd.

ZORIN

Or the robotic EL DANDY~ and his excuse for a partner SpiderPoet...

Gigi walks up behind them as they speak and leans in to say...

GIGI

Thanks for the money guys, off I go!

BOTH OF THE KNIGHTS

DAMMIT!!!!!

Gigi runs like hell, and they take off after him.

ORION vs. BIG POPPA POPICK

[Chanel #99]

CUE: "Trapt by Headstrong"

The ever cocky Orion comes out as the strobe lights cue after the thundering intro. He pounds his head and chest, psyching himself up for this one on one matchup he's been after since day one of coming to work at the OaOasT.

Orion reachs the ropes, pulls down on them and turns around to face an attractive fan.

ORION

Who's the Man?!

GIRL

BPP!

ORION

He's not a man, he's a cripple! Come here and look at a real...

The main lights in the arena shut-off.

JR

You know what this means.

JESSE

The man more hated than the United States of America is on his way to the ring.

On the AngleTron, a single crucifix appears, melting down into a pool of blood.

Blackness.

CUE: "His Time Is Now"

The white pyro spiraling up hung strings as Puff Daddy's "Come with Me" blares. The crowd standing, cheering, at the sight before them. Big Poppa Popick is walking to the ring with his steel crutches. He has a microphone, and calls for the music to be cut. Orion stands in the middle of the ring, punching his chest and getting ready...never staying still. BPP pulls the microphone slowly up to his lips, the crowd cheering frantically and then, as his hand motions for silence, all is still.

BPP

Orion. That's a bright and shining star isn't it? What I see in the ring isn't a shining star, it's a pathetic excuse of a wrestler. Who trained you anyways, the Planet Uranus!

Crowd laughs.

BPP

Now seriously, you've run around for the past month making my life a complete hell. Buddy, you're lucky you even have this match. What is this, your first PPV? And you're good enough to step into the ring with the Most Valuable Player of the OaOasT? You're not good enough to wipe the shit off my ass...I've got way bigger fish to fry than you, little punkass bitch.

These crutches? You see these? Guess what...you're in trouble.

BPP drops the crutches and runs into the ring, Orion wild-eyed...

JR

He was faking his injury, he lured Orion into a trap!

JESSE

I told you something was up.

JR

It's brilliant! The referee for this contest, Senior Official for IntenseZone, is Jack Doan.

GUY IN 3RD ROW

Get some glasses!

* DING DING DING *

Popick and Orion start off by staring into each other, closing the gap until they stand nose to nose. The partisan crowd chants for the commissioner, drawing Orion to scowl at them, turning away from Popick so that he may yell at the fans "I'm the Man!". Orion turns back, sneers, and spits on BPP's shoe. BPP looks down, then up, and spits in Orion's face. Dripple coming down off his right cheek, Orion turns and squares back to look at BPP straight in the eye. The tension is mounting.

Popick steps back, and draws am imaginary line across the ring, daring Orion to step over it. Orion looks, sneers, and spits. He then lunges into Popick...pressing him back into the mat, taking him down with flurries of rights and unrelenting lefts...Popick tries to get his hands up in vain, but that only exposes his kidneys.

Orion pulls BPP up, and gets a swift kick in the junk...the great equalizer. Jack Doan admonishes BPP, but Popicks shoves the ref away...kicking at the back of Orion's neck.

JR

The sound technician, Popick got the advantage and immediately concentrates on the neck.

JESSE

Well, he should worry about his own.

Orion rolls around the ring trying to avoid Popick, and he finally decides to bail outside. Popick pursues, hitting a running baseball slide to kick Orion into the ringside barrier. Wasting little time, Popick throws Orion back into the ring, and into the first cover as well...Orion gets the shoulder up after 1.

Kick, Wham, Stunner! and Popick just glares at a fallen Orion. He picks him up again. Kick, Wham, Stunner! No! Countered into a reverse DDT by Orion. Quick cover and it gets a two count.

JESSE

Give Orion credit...That was a great counter!

BPP writhes on his neck...allowing Orion to catch his breath. Both men resume standing, but its Orion who gets the first blow, clotheslining BPP down...Orion looks around...and yells out "WHO DA MAN~!?" Popick catches him with a small package!

1...

2...

3...No! Orion kicks out and pounds BPP's head into the ground...lifting him up... and delivering his own Stunner. Orion pounds on himself as a way of saying "That was good" Popick is rolling to the corner, but Orion stops him...and whips him to the far side...Orion charges, and Popick gets a boot up...Quick Spinning...FINALITY on Orion!...

1...

2...

3...NO! Foot on the ropes.

Popick launches into a tirade against Doan, and the crowd boos. Orion's crooked ref appears on stage, grabbing a steel crutch and running into the ring...sliding it into the ring. Popick runs over and grabs the referee, pulling him in...and then he's admonished by Jack Doan...Paying no attention to Orion, Popick back both referees into a corner...The evil ref pulls Doan down...and Popick is Avalanched by Orion... Orion has the steel crutch, and plants a baseball swing shot right on Popick's noggin...He bleeds...

Orion disposes of the weapon and picks up the evil ref...and tells him to go get his belt...Doan sees Popick a bloody mess and asks what happened?

ORION

It Doesn't Matter what happen, just watch this...

A near unconscious Popick is picked up, pulled up..and Rock Bottomed...but Orion holds on to BPP's left leg...It's the FADE TO BLACK.... Popick struggles towards the ropes, blood bleeding down onto the wrestling mat...He makes...no! Orion pulls him back...and locks in the CLOVERLEAF again!...The Commish's face hits the mat soaked in blood, and never comes up...Doan checks on BPP three times...and that's all it took. Doan signals for the bell.

* DING DING DING DING *

RING ANNOUNCER

The winner: Orion!

JR

What a way to lose a match! Orion and his crooked ref are too much.

JESSE

I don't know why you call him crooked; he's a referee. It's BPP's fault! You attacked the ref--

JR

This next match should be a barnburner folks! It is for the OAOAST North American Title! Puerto Rican Lightning! Andrew Hyland! These two have been at each other's throats in recent weeks and that is where we are today. The North American Title is on the line! Here we go!

A lightning bolt hits the entrance stage. The crowd pops for the pyro as smoke rises from the entrance.

JESSE

Whoa!

However, the AngleTron shows a Puerto Rican flag. Then in big block letters the words "PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING" appear. The crowd boos as they know who is coming.

JESSE

You know what that

means.

CUE: "Bulls on Parade"

"Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine starts as smoke continues rising from the entranceway. The crowd boos and then out from the smoke, comes Puerto Rican Lightning along with his bodyguard, Mr. Boricua, and his valet and girlfriend, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who is dressed in leather black pants, a black tanktop, and a leather jacket. She is wearing heels and has her hair pinned up. Because this is a ppv, PRL is wearing a Puerto Rican flag around his neck as a cape and has the Puerto Rico flag painted over his face. He is carrying the Puerto Rican Championship on his left shoulder and begins walking down to the ring.

*DING DING DING*

RING ANNOUNCER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheldued for one fall, and is for the OAOAST North American Championship! Coming down the aisle, at this time, accompanying to the ring by his bodyguard, Mr. Boricua, and his manager, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, weighning in at 223 lbs, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, he is the self-proclaimed Puerto Rican Champion, Puerto Rico Lightning.

JESSE

Self-proclaimed? Puerto Rican Lightning won the Puerto Rican Championship in a tournament in San Juan at Roberto Clemente Stadium! What do you mean self-proclaimed?

JR

Give me a break, Jess. You don't seriously buy the bogus story Lightning gave to the fans do you?

JESSE

He is a truthful, honest man and it's by that that I believe him.

JR

Oh Jess.

Puerto Rican Lightning walks down to the ring cool and cocky as "Bulls on Parade" blares on the P.A. System. He does the Curt Henning gum swat and jaws with the fans before he heads into the ring. He sneers on the ring apron.

JESSE

And here he is, our great Puerto Rican Champion! He has made that belt more prestigous ever since he won it and he has made me proud! The man deserves a standing ovation. Come on JR! Get off your Oklahoma butt and applaud this man!

JR

I rather not.

The crowd greets PRL's entrance into the ring with boos and chants of "P.R. Sucks!" P.R.L. just ignores it and does the HBK pose as pyro explodes behind him. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez poses with him and she kisses him. PRL then gets on the turnbuckles and poses with the Puerto Rican Championship. He continues to jaw with the fans as he poses with the belt.

JESSE

What an entrance for Puerto Rican Lightning! And what a lovely outfit Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is wearing tonight! I keep saying she gets more beautiful by the day and she keeps on going! You go, girl!

"Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine finishes as PRL goes out of the ring to get a microphone. He heads back in as the crowd boos. The more time he's in the ring, the louder the boos get. Lightning seems annoyed but once the "P.R. Sucks!" chants begin, he puts his fingers in his ears to drown them out. But the chants continue and P.R. Lightning slaps his forehead four times. When that doesn't work, he goes over to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez who comforts him.

JESSE

These fans just won't give Puerto Rican the respect he deserves! What is wrong with these people?

JR

I think the fans just don't like Puerto Rican Lightning's actions ever since he came into the OAOAST.

JESSE

What actions? Defending the Puerto Rican Championship to the best of his ablities each and every week and putting on stellar matches against everyone?

JR

He's a great athlete, I'll give you that. But he lies, cheats, and does whatever he can to keep his belt.

JESSE

He's a fightning champion JR--hold on! The Lightning is going to speak!

PRL

People of America, I AM YOUR *REAL* HERO! Lend me your ears!

The crowd continues booing. PRL sneers.

JESSE

No respect.

PRL (CONT'D)

Now, before I take the North American Title away from that scrub, Andrew Hyland, there is one little issue I have to address: Last week on IntenseZone, Myself and Los Infernales took on the team of....Mad CRAPPA and the Mystery Something or another. Before the match, I added a stipulation that stated that if Mad Cappa would pin me, he would get a shot at the Puerto Rican Championship. Well...(struggling to say it.) He...He...B-b--bea-bea-He be-b-b-He-Bea-He-B-HE BEAT ME!

The crowd pops.

PRL

Shut up! Yes, I am man enough to admit it. And yes, Cappa will infact.....get a title shot.

The crowd pops.

JR

Yes! Yes! Finally!

LIGHTNING

Yeah, yeah. I know. You're all happy. Woooooooo! BUT! I didn't actually say WHEN he would get the title shot! As a matter of fact, I could hold off the Title Shot as long as I want. Afterall, it is MY Title. So Cappa, pat yourself on the back, but I just want to let you know.(Turns to directly face the camera): It's going to be a damn long time before you actually have the match. HAHAHHA

The crowd boos.

JR

I don't belive it.

JESSE

What do you mean you don't believe it? It is HIS belt afterall, Puerto Rican Lightning can put up the belt anytime he wants and he feels Cappa doesn't deserve it yet.

JR

Puerto Rican Lightning is afraid of Mad Cappa!

JESSE

WHAT? What are you talking about?

JR

He's doing all he can to NOT face Cappa one-on-one.

Jesse: That's ridicolous. PRL can beat Cappa with one arm tied behind his back.

JR

That's prepostrous. You and I both know that, deep down, Puerto Rican Lightning knows in that dark heart of his, that he can't beat The Mad Cappa.

JESSE

Whatever! And enough of that, we got a match to call!

CUE: "The Theme From 2001: A Space Oddeysey"

Andrew receives a mix reaction. Fireworks shoot off from the sides as out steps Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland with the OAOAST North American Title around his waist. The crowd continues giving him a mixed reaction as he begins walking down the aisle with a look of confidence on his face.

RING ANNOUNCER

And coming down the aisle, weighning in at 235 lbs, from Toronto, Canada. He is the OAOAST North American Champion, Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland!

JESSE

Now here is a man that DOESN'T deserve his belt! He has shown no respect for Lightning or his girlfriend, the lovely, the beautiful, Lindsay Gonzalez! How DARE he say those awful things he has said about her!

JR

Maybe he isn't that far from the truth Jess.

JESSE

He is defintley FAR from the truth.

Andrew enters the ring. However, just as he is, Puerto Rican Lightning attacks! He begins beating down on Andrew before he can remove his jacket and belt.

*DING DING DING*

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP

ANDREW "YOUR HERO" HYLAND vs. PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING

Puerto Rican Lightning continues laying shots in left and right.

JR

PRL absolutely beating down on Andrew so early in the match.

JESSE

Give it to him! Give it to him, P.R.! Give it to him!

Lightning takes off Andrew's jacket and begins choking him with it. Soon, he takes off the NA Title from Andrew and is about to hit him with it.

JR

No P.R.! Don't do it!

JESSE

Yes! Do it! Do it! HAHA! I'm loving it!

Suddenly, the referee grabs the NA Title. The crowd applauds as Andrew lays in a corner to get himself together. Puerto Rican Lightning starts complaining to the referee but it doesn't work.

JR

Thank goodness the officating in THIS wrestling organazation ain't blind.

JESSE

Did Andrew pay-off the referee before the match?

JR

No he didn't and that's a ridicolous thing to say.

JESSE

How ridicolous can it be?

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs Andrew and whips him to the ropes. When Andrew comes back, P.R. Lightning leapfrogs over him. When Andrew comes back again, Lightning does a reverse leapfrog over him. He then connects with a dropkick that sends Andrew out of the ring.

JR

And Puerto Rican Lightning is controlling the early part of this match-up.

Jesse Applauds.

While Andrew is resting on the outside, Mr. Boricua appears. He grabs Andrew and starts ramming his back onto the ringpost. He does this several times. Again and again. Again and again.

JR

Damnit! Will the referee please stop this? Andrew is 3-on-1 in this match-up.

JESSE

4-on-1 if you count the Puerto Rican Championship.

Mr. Boricua continues beating down on Andrew when suddenly, Puerto Rican Lightning rushes towards the outside.....and hits a pescado onto both Andrew and Mr. Boricua!

JR

BAW GAWD! What a move! What a move by Puerto Rican Lightning!

JESSE

There ya go, JR! There's your proof that Puerto Rican Lightning IS the best wrestler today! Infact, he may be the greatest wrestler of all time.

The referee begins counting:

1......2.......3.......4......5......6.....7.....8.....9..

Andrew and PRL both make it into the ring at the count of 9. Puerto Rican gets up and begins stomping his boots on Andrew. He lays several knees in while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Mr. Boricua cheer him on.

JESSE

There they are JR. Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. PR has told me he calls them his "Lightning Crew."

JR

"Lightning Crew?"

JESSE

Yes. He saids he wants to continue adding on to the Lightning Crew.

JR

He'll have a hard time though. Pratically all the OAOAST hates him.

JESSE

That's just B.S.

The crowd boos every move Puerto Rican Lightning does. P.R. ignores it but then the "P.R. Sucks!" chants begin. "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" P.R. stops and notices the chants. He gets angry and demands that the fans treat him with respect. However, the chants get louder. Finally, Lightning covers his ears to drown out the noise. When that doesn't work, he slaps his forehead 4 times.

JESSE

No respect. No respect.

P.R. Lightning grabs Andrew again and whips him into the ropes. However, Andrew reverses....and comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The crowd pops as Andrew continues by doing a snap suplex on Lightning. But he's still not done yet. He once again whips Lightning to the ropes and comes back with a clothesline. And another. And another. And another.

JR

What a rush by Andrew! He is finally taking offensive control for the first time tonight.

JESSE

Don't let that get to P.R. Come on P.R.!

Andrew waits for Lightning to get up....and hits a gutwrench suplex. He now goes for the cover.

1....2....kick out!

JR

Andrew, now feeling the momentaum. Fisherman Suplex. He goes for the cover. 1, 2, and he kicked out.

Hyland now grabs Lightning and sends him into a turnbuckle. He now begins chopping him. The crowd "Woooooooos!" every chop.

JR

Andrew with shades of the great Ric Flair!

Andrew whips Puerto Rican Lightning to another turnbuckle. However, Puerto Rican Lightning does the Flair Flip and lands on the ring apron.

JESSE

More shades of the great Ric Flair!

Lightning begins trashtalking to the fans about how smart he is. However, Hyland clotheslines him onto the floor.

JR

Not a "Smart" move by Lightning. Wouldn't you say Jes?

JESSE

Shut up.

The ref begins the 10 count as Andrew waits in the ring. The crowd counts along with him but Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez throw P.R. back in. Andrew waists no time in continuing his assault. He hits a vertical suplex on Puerto Rican Lightning. He goes for the cover.

1...2....Kick out!

Andrew goes for the cover again.

1...2...Kick out!

Andrew goes for it again.

1...2....Kick out!

JESSE

The heart of a champion. Puerto Rican Lightning has got a heart of a champion!

JR

Funny. I didn't even think he had a heart.

JESSE

He needs a heart J.R. You know, to survive?

JR

I KNOW THAT JESS!

Andrew goes for the Figure Four, but P.R.L. kicks him in the face, and goes for a roll-up.

1....2....Kick out!

Puerto Rican Lightning does a necksnap on the North American Champion. Then applies a chinlock. He knees Andrew Hyland several times in the back. The crowd boos but P.R. tells them to shut up. They begin the "P.R. Sucks!" chants but P.R.L. still holds on to the chinlock. By this time, half the facepaint on Puerto Rican Lightning's face is gone. He is sweating while Andrew looks to be in pain. But, he still manages to get up and elbows P.R. several times in the gut to break the chinlock. Hyland does a swinging neckbreaker and goes for a cover.

1...2...Kick out!

JR

Andrew Hyland once again takes control in this match. Andrew going for an arm-bar.

Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland applies an arm-bar to Lightning. Lightning struggles while the crowd cheers Andrew on.

JESSE

I don't get it JR. Andrew is not usually a fan favorite, yet tonight, the fans are 100% behind him. It's a conspiracy I tell you!

JR

They hate Puerto Rican Lightning's actions and so they'll cheer whoever faces him.

JESSE

We got alot of fair-weather fans in the OAOAST, JR.

Andrew lets go of the arm-bar and heads to the ropes. He goes for a clothesline but P.R. ducks....and hits the Edgeomatic. He goes for the cover.

1...2...Kick Out.

Puerto Rican Lightning heads to a corner and waits for Andrew to get up. When he does....P.R.L. hits the Shinning Wizard! He goes for the cover.

1...2...Kick out.

Lightning grabs Andrew and does a Russian Legsweep on him. Andrew gets up and P.R.L. armdrags him. Andrew gets up again and P.R.L. hits a hurricarana on him. He goes for the cover.

1...2...Kick out!

Lightning goes for the cover again.

1...2...Kick out!

Lightning goes for the cover again.

1...2...Kick out!

JESSE

DAMNIT!

JR

Puerto Rican Lightning just can't keep Andrew Hyland down!

Lightning with a neckbreaker. A backbreaker but he turns it into a surfboard stretch.

JR

BAW GAWD, Andrew must be in serious pain.

JESSE

Think about it JR. Andrew might have some pulled muscles after this match is over.

Lightning lets go of the surfboard stretch as now most of his makeup is gone. He takes off his Puerto Rico flag bandana and begins choking Hyland with it.

JR

Now come on! That's just not fair! How low will Lightning go?

JESSE

He's just doing whatever he can to win the North American Title! Win if you can. Lose if you must. But always CHEAT~!

JR

I'm sure that philoshopy has played well in your life.

JESSE

Indeed it has, JR.

Lightning stops choking Andrew before the count of 5 as the crowd boos. They once again begin chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" Lightning ignores it this time and drags Andrew's legs to the ropes. He begins beating down on them. He puts Andrews head on the second rope. Lightning heads to the ropes....and hits the 619!

JESSE

Awesome! Awesome! Simply awesome!

JR: Lightning continues on Andrew. Irish Whip to the turnbuckle. Stinger Splash!

Another Irish Whip. OH!!!!! Hyland took a chest first bump into the turnbuckle. Puerto Rican Lightning now going for the cover.

1...2...Kick out!

P.R. Lightning grabs Andrew and sends him to the ropes. Spinebuster. He hooks the sharpshooter!

JR

SHARPSHOOTER~! SHARPSHOOTER~! SHARPSHOOTER~! SHARPSHOOTER~!

Lightning hooks the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring. The crowd is growing with anticipation. Andrew is in pain. The facepaint is completly gone from Puerto Rican's face. Andrew starts to reach for the ropes.

JR

Sharpshooter clenched in! Andrew heading for the ropes! Come on! Come on! Come on Andrew! Come on!

JESSE

You be quiet JR! Come on Lightning! Clench it! HURT HIM!

Andrew starts making it to the ropes. Puerto Rican Lightning continues putting it on him. However, Andrew finally makes it to the ropes. The crowd cheers.

JR

Whew!

JESSE

No fair! No fair! Damnit!

Puerto Rican Lightning has a look of frustration on his face.

JR I bet he's thinking "If that won't get him. What will?"

Lightning grabs Andrew. He goes for the German Suplex but Andrew holds on. He goes for it again and it connects. But he's not done yet. He continues doing it. The Rolling Germans!

JR

I can't believe it. Andrew STILL won't give up. Puerto Rican's now heading up top.

JESSE

P.R. is going to fly now!

Lightning heads to the

top....and comes down with a Flying Crossbody! He goes for the cover.

1...2...Kick out!

JR

That could have been it! I am suprised. Lightning once again heading up top.

Puerto Rican Lightning heads to the top rope. The crowd boos and the boos keep getting louder. Lightning shakes it off and removes his left elbow pad. He throws it to the crowd then does the "UP YOURS!" sign to them. He then hits the FU Elbow Drop from halfway across the ring!

JR

What power! What agility! Puerto Rican Lightning now going for the cover.

1...2....And Andrew kicked out! Unbelieveable.

Puerto Rican Lightning has tears in his eyes. He starts to cry as the "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" chants begin. He yells for the crowd to shut up and covers his ears to drown out the noise.

JESSE

Oh boy, it's getting to him.

Lightning hits his head four times. When that doesn't work he flips the crowd the middle finger. They continue booing as Puerto Rican goes for an Asai Moonsault. However, Puerto Rican Lightning hits Andrew's knees. Andrew gets up and hits a snap suplex. He then grabs P.R. and sends him to the ropes. But Puerto Rican Lightning comes back with the Flying Forearm! The crowd boos.

JESSE

Alright JR! This is it! This is the end! These are the moves Puerto Rican Lightning uses to set up for the P.R. Nightmare! YES! We will have a new North American Champion!

JR

Puerto Rican Lightning

waiting for Andrew to get up. And another Forearm. He waits for him to get up again...and another one!

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs Andrew and whips him into the ropes....and hits a Flying Forearm. He kips up and the crowd boos. Puerto Rican Lightning heads to a turnbuckle and begins stomping his right foot a'la Shawn Michaels. The crowd continues booing.

JESSE

This is it! I feel it coming! We got a new OAOAST North American Champion!

JR

Lightning cueing up the band.

Puerto Rican Lightning continues stomping his foot. Andrew gets up and he goes for it. Sweet Chin Music connects!

JR

The Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music! It connected.

JESSE

Yes! We got a new North American Champion!

P.R. goes for the cover.

1...2...Kick out!

What? What the? NO! It can't be! It just can't!

JR

Yes it did! And the crowd is going wild. Andrew is up and furious.

Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland gets up and starts beating up Puerto Rican to the approval of the crowd. Chops. He hits a snap suplex. Andrew goes up top....and hits the diving headbutt. The crowd is going wild by now. Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua is whispering something to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Back in the ring, Andrew gives Puerto Rican Lightning a backbreaker and a spinning neckbreaker. The crowd is cheering.

JR

This could be it! This could be all over!

JESSE

But wait a minute. Look.

Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland goes for the Hero Driver. However, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is on the ring apron. She has Andrew's attention.

JR

Oh boy. I'm getting de'ja vu here.

JESSE

What's she doing up there?

Ms. Lindsay removes her jacket. She then removes her tanktop. The male section of the crowd is cheering. Andrew seems mesmerized by her stripping.

JR

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is using the same tatic she used at AngleMania last month.

JESSE

More! Give us more! More!

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez takes off her leather pants. She is now down to a red bra and thong.

JESSE

They are red, JR. Red! That's my favorite color! I think we should make it an OAOAST rule whereby Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez will have to wear red bra and thong every show.

JR

Andrew....seems quite interested in Ms. Lindsay.

Meanwhile, while all this is going on, P.R. has the Puerto Rican Championship behind his back. Lindsay continues distracting Andrew by shaking her ass. Andrew slaps her ass as the crowd cheers.

JESSE

That's no fair way to treat a lady!

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez gets off the ring apron as Andrew mouths off to her. He doesn't notice P.R. standing with the Puerto Rican Championship. But he soon does when P.R. goes to hit him with it. Andrew ducks....and hits the Hero Driver!!!

JR

The Hero Driver! The Hero Driver! The Hero Driver! It's all over! Cover him! COVER HIM!!!

JESSE

No! Don't cover him! Don't!

Andrew goes for the cover.

1..2...But Mr. Boricua comes in and knocks out Andrew. The referee calls for the bell.

*DING DING DING*

JESSE

YES! Andrew didn't pin Lightning!

JR

But Lightning just blew his chance of winning the North American Championship!

JESSE

Oh yeah. DAMN!

Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez all enter the ring. They begin beating down on Andrew. The bell continues to ring.

JR

Now this is just unjust. The match is over. Puerto Rican Lightning lost. That's 2 losses in a row.

JESSE

He didn't get pin so I don't count it as a lost.

JR

It is techinally a lost seeing as how Lightning didn't win the NA Title.

The beatdown continues. Puerto Rican Lightning gives Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland the P.R. Nightmare. Mr. Boricua chokeslams him. And Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez finishes with a slap.

JESSE

Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.

JR

Please stop the madness.

RING ANNOUNCER The winner of this contest, as a result of a disqualification, Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland!

The crowd cheers as the beatdown continues. P.R.L. gives Andrew the Annexation of Puerto Rico! Then the crowd cheers. The Mad Cappa runs into the ring!

JR

It's Mad Cappa! He must be pissed at what P.R.L. said before the match!

JESSE

It's that no-good punk again! When will he just stay out of P.R.'s buisness.

Cappa begins laying lefts and rights on Puerto Rican Lightning. He beats on Mr. Boricua. BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP on Mr. Boricua! Mad Cappa beats on Lightning in a corner. He goes for the BUST A CAP....but Puerto Rican escapes. He runs into Andrew who gives him the Hero Driver again!

JR

And another Hero Driver!

JESSE

This is absolute torture for Lightning!

Andrew and Cappa proceed to beat down on Lightning to the crowd's approval until Mr. Boricua comes in and grabs Lightning and the Puerto Rican Championship. The crowd boos.

JESSE

Cappa will pay. Andrew will pay. They will regret the day they messed with Puerto Rican Lightning.

Mr. Boricua, Puerto Rican Lightning who is still knocked out, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez who is still in her red bra and thong leave the ring with the Puerto Rican Championship. The Mad Cappa and Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland are left in the ring. They shake hands. The crowd approves.

JESSE

This just makes me sick.

"Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)" by DJ Kool begins playing. The crowd does the wave and chant "Go Cap-pa!" as Cappa dances for them. He invites Andrew to join and Andrew dances quite stiffly. They leave the ring together with Cappa dancing the entire time.

JESSE

I've said it once and I'll say it again. The Mad Cappa will regret, he will REGRET the day he ever, EVER messed with Puerto Rican Lightning. Mark my words.

The Mad Cappa and Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland pose with the OAOAST North American Title to the roar of the crowd. They leave together.

The screens go blank for a second as a blue X on a black Titantron flashes with growing itnensity.

MAN (Voice-Over; narrating)

The OAOAST thinks they have seen everything. The OAOAST has think they've heard everything. Worst of all, the OAOAST thinks they know everything.

The X stops flashing and the voice grows angrier, more INTENSE~, and louder.

MAN (CONT'D)

How weak you all have become. You're blinded by the fact that your world champion has little claim to fame other than being some preppy asshole. None of you have any personality, any connection with these people, because you all believe you are larger than life. Worst of all, in this business, you want, no you DEMAND not only professionalism, but athleticism. Both of which you lack. But don't worry.

Flashes show very quickly shots of Vitamin X with various titles, but too quick to get a good glimpse of him.

MAN (CONT'D)

The OAOAST is sick. And I'm here to cure it. I'm Vitamin X. And I am just THAT much better than you.

JESSE

How about that?

JR

A newcomer by the name of Vitamin X, has arrived. Apparently he believes the OAOAST is sick, and he's the cure.

JESSE

That would explain the mass firings.

JR

Before we go back to the ring for some hard-hittin' tag team action, we send it to Kevin Kelly.

JESSE

How many announcers do we have?

KEVIN KELLY

I'm in the back with "Shooter" Jay Darring. Jay, tonight you're going into the biggest match of your short career here in OAOAST- against the Mad Cappa, to determine the #1 Contender to the North American title.

JAY

Out of all the wrestlers in OAOAST, the one guy I've been looking forward to facing the most is the Mad Cappa. You don't know this Cappa, but I saw one of your first matches in DC. You were putting over some fat piece of garbage- probably the promoter's kid. You didn't care though, you were beaming the whole time you were out there; I've never seen a kid so happy to be in a ring. You're enthusiasm and smile on your face brought a smile to MY face. I've followed your career since then, and you've gotten a lot better, and your enthusiasm hasn't dampened a bit. We're kindred spirits, you and I, wrestling is what we live for, and there's no doubt in my mind that that passion will carry over into that ring, and we're going to put on a match for the ages, unlike any OAOAST has ever seen. The fact that it's for one of the biggest prizes in the game, the OAOAST North American Championship, is going to make it that much sweeter, and that much more intense. So as you said, let the better man win Mad Cappa. (smiles) but I have a feeling that the better man is gonna end up being me.

KELLY

But Jay, why in the world, on the same Pay Per View, have you agreed to a tag team match against the Mystery Weirdness Connection? And who is your partner?

JAY

For the competition

Kelly, I live for it. With every match, you learn more strategy. With every match, it's a bigger payday. With every win, you climb further up the ladder, more chances at the gold and TV time. As for my partner, well, let's have him finish this promo, shall we?

"Undisputed" Christian James enters the frame and shakes hands with Jay.

JAMES

After our match last night, Jay and I gained a tremenous amount of respect for each other. Never in my life have I had my limits pushed like I did last week on IntenseZone, and I'm sure Jay will agree. As opponents, we're evenly matched. As tag team partners we're unbeatable. So IOU, MWC, Infernales, get ready to face the most deadly tag team in OAOAST history- Featured Attraction. So Jingus, Eskimo, get ready for the coming Attraction, 'cause you're about to get steamrolled by the two biggest breakout superstars in OAOAST.

[Chanel #99]

THE MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNECTION vs. FEATURED ATTRACTION

JR

Many experts have said the MWC are the greatest tag team in OAOAST history.

JESSE

For a number of months, they were the only tag team.

JR

True. But having been pushed aside in the tag title scene, Eskimo & JINGUS have signed a contract to face the rookie team of Undisputed & Jay.

JESSE

They must be desperate for a win to get back on track.

JR

In this match we have vast experience matched against freshness, with Featured Attraction looking for a debut win for their team to give them instant credibility. The Attractions have to use speed and agility as they face a large size disadvantage.

JESSE

The MWC should have too much for the newcomers here, JR.

CUE: "Ice Ice Verdi"

We get our mix of Ice Ice Verdi, and the MWC walk down to the ring, drawing a good pop. The masked men look determined as they slide into the ring.

CUE: "The Fake Sound of Progress"

"The Fake Sound of Progress" beckons Jay Darring down the ailse, swiftly followed by Treble Charger's "Red" for Undisputed. The two shake hands and prepare for battle.

* DING DING DING *

Eskimo starts with Jay, and they lock up, jockying for the advantage. Eskimo pushes Jay back into the turnbuckle, and we get a clean break. A second lock up is turned into a wrist lock for Jay. Eskimo rolls through it and gets one of his own, but Jay runs to the ropes to break it, and there's another clean break.

JR

All very sporting so far.

JESSE

How dull.

Jay tries for a take down on Eskimo, but ME evades him and grabs a side headlock. Jay pushes Eskimo off into the ropes, and catches him with a kick to the jaw that sounds throughout the arena. The cover, 1, 2, but ME kicks out. Jay drags Eskimo over to the Attraction's corner and tags Undisputed, who leaps into the ring with a springboard dropkick that sends Eskimo crashing down again. The cover gets another 2.

JR

What a manoeveur! Eskimo being

overwhelmed by these two.

UD picks up Eskimo and hits a sweetly time brainbuster for 2 again. Eskimo is whipped off the ropes but ducks UD's lariat and fires back with a flying forearm. Eskimo rolls over to tag JINGUS, who steams into the ring and flattens UD with a clothesline. UD gets quickly up again but JINGUS throws him into the turnbuckle like a ragdoll and smashes his head with clubbing fists. UD starts to go down but JINGUS grabs him up CLAWSLAMS him onto the top turnbuckle!

JR

What impact! The back of Undisputed could be BROKEN IN HALF!

JINGUS covers, 1, 2, but UD gets foot on the bottom rope somehow. JINGUS growls in anger and sets UD for a DEVILBOMB, but Undisputed wriggles out and dropkicks the left leg of JINGUS, taking him down to one knee. Again, UD dropkicks the leg. A third time. UD grabs the head of JINGUS and tries for a DDT but JINGUS just stands up, shakes UD loose and powerslams him.

JR

Undisputed needs to make the tag in the baddest way.

JESSE

C'mon JINGUS, rip his head off. We don't need to see anymore of this.

JINGUS delays the cover as he holds his left leg. The cover only gets two. Undisputed is still fighting and tries to roll over to make the tag to Jay. JINGUS laughs and stomps a mudhole in the fallen UD. JINGUS whips him off the ropes and hits a SPINEBUSTAH FROM HELL, cover, 1, 2, NO! Undisputed out again!

JR

This kid has got tremendous heart! JINGUS, the biggest and strongest man in the OAOAST, can't put him away!

JINGUS shakes his head, and tags in Eskimo, who gets a spinning DDT and covers for 2. Eskimo plants UD with a Falcon Arrow and heads up top, leaping off with the Flying Icicle Headbutt, but UD somehow kips up and DROPKICKS Eskimo in the head! Both men crash to the mat.

JR

Mah Gawd, how the hell did he do that?

JESSE

A fluke, JR!

Eskimo is DEAD, and UD is able to crawl over and tag Jay to a pop. JINGUS charges in but can't catch Jay with his punches. Jay kicks the leg that UD was working on and JINGUS falls back a little. Jay runs off the ropes and hits a baseball slide kick to the leg, and JINGUS is down. Jay turns to Eskimo who is trying to get up, and runs and hits a SHINING BLACK! One, Two....THREE!

* DING DING DING DING *

RING ANNOUNCER

The winners of the match, in 7.35, FEATURED ATTRACTION~!

JR

What a win for Featured Attraction! That dropkick to the head left Eskimo wide open!

JESSE

That was a great move, but what was Eskimo thinking leaving himself open to it?

JR

C'mon Jess, no one could expect Eskimo to be ready for something like that!

UD and Jay hug outside the ring as the crowd applauds a huge win. In the ring, JINGUS is pulling himself up, limping a little on the injured leg. Eskimo starts to stir a little. JINGUS goes over to pull him up.

JR

That's the great thing about the MWC -- they can taste victory and defeat and still stick together -- they're that close.

DEVILBOMB TO ESKIMO!

JR

...

JESSE

YES! He should have done that a long time ago!

JR

BAH GAWD! JINGUS has DESTROYED Mystery Eskimo! The MWC has been together for so long! Eskimo is hurt badly!

JINGUS isnt finished. He drags Eskimo out to the floor and removes the padding from the floor.

JR

Oh no, he can't do this...

JESSE

He's going to kill him JR. That's the price of defeat.

JINGUS hoists Eskimo up for a DEVILBOMB onto the concrete, when Jay and Undisputed run round to the other side of the ring and grab hold of JINGUS, pulling Eskimo down and away. JINGUS roars but doesn't pursue.

JR

Eskimo escaped thanks to charitable opponents, but his best friend has just become the most deadly of enemies!

JINGUS leaves the arena as the stunned crowd wakes up and starts to boo the Devilman.

JR

We must applaud the effors of Featured Attraction in scoring a great win, Jess, but this is a sad moment, when a man turns his back on a comrade in arms.

JESSE

If I were Eskimo, I'd retire right now, before JINGUS rips OFF his arms.

[Chanel #99]

Cameras cut to JR & Jesse standing up, near their broadcasting table.

JR

"Body," I'm still stunned at the recent turn of events, involving the M--well, former tag tag of the MWC. I'm sure we'll have more on that -- if not tonight -- then tomorrow night on IZ.

Our next contest is for the OAOAST Tag Team championships -- Los Infernales vs. IOU. Oddly enough, Los Infernales defeated the MWC is the tag tournament finals, last month at AngleMania II.

JESSE

Tag team wrestling, when done right, can be some of the most exciting action. I had the honor of being AWA World tag team champions, with the late great "Adorable" Adrain Adonis, as part of the East-West Connection. We scared tag teams all over the world; much like Los Infernales.

JR

I don't think the IOU are scared.

JESSE

They're too stupid to be scared. I'm sure the close-captioning guy is a fan of the IOU.

JR

Fans, we're going to present this match in our "Sounds of the Ring" feature. Enjoy.

OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

IOU vs. LOS INFERNALES

CUE: "Trans-Magic"

TRANS-MAGIC hits to signal the arrival of I-O-U. K-Ness and job squad emerge from the back, job holding the co-number 3 draft pick trophy high . . . spikes and flames and all.

RING ANNOUNCER

Now making their way to the ring, The challengers at a COMBINED WEIGHT of 416 pounds, K-NESS and JOBITUDE: VERSION 3, I . . . O . . . U!

Job and K hit the ring and the turbnuckles, Job pumping the trophy in the air and making a "3" symbol with his free hand while K-Ness gazes towards the entranceway.

BREEAAAK~!

CUE: "Tear Away"

TEAR AWAY hits, the stage explodes with pyro, and a moment later SPIDER POET and EL DANDY are on the stage, standing at the top of the ramp to a chorus of boos.

The two survey the crowd for a moment before tey begin making their way to the ring.

RING ANNOUNCER

Making their way to the ring at a combined weight of 505 pounds, the WORLD TAG TEAM - CHAMPIONS, SPIDERPOET and EL DANDY: LOS . . . INFERNALES!

Poet and Dandy hit the ring but waste no time posing. They immediately set on the attack, Dandy clotheslining K-Ness out of the ring while Poet quickly fires job off to the ropes - BELLY TO BELLY! While job is stunned, Poet slides down for the cover.

1 . . .

2 - KICKOUT! Poet pulls job up off the mat but knees him in the jaw before hooking him for a Snap Suplex, and going for the cover again.

1

KICKOUT! Poet goes to haul Job up again, but Job swings his legs up and wraps them around Poet's abs and powers him over to his back. Job snags his arm and yanks back in an ARM BAR, but Poet is close enough to snag the ropes. The ref breaks it up and both men get to their feet, circling the ring a few times to get their bearings after a hectic opening minute. Lockup in the middle, and Poet powers Job back into the corner where the two struggle. The ref comes in and breaks it up, but Poet is right back in with a hard right hand. BAM. BAM. BAM. Poet shoots Job off towards the other corner but Job puts on the brakes and REVERSES, and sends Poet off that way. Job charges and nails Poet with a spear into the corner before climbing to the second rope for PUNCHEZ~!

1! 2! 3! 4! 5-- Poet shoves Job away! Job bumps and Poet jumps back to the second rope - ELBOW DROP! And the cover...

1

2 - KICKOUT! Before Poet can do anything else, Job thinks fast and quickly maneuveres himself around to ROLL POET UP IN A SMALL PACKAGE!

1

2

KICKOUT, and Poet rolls away. Poet charges in for a lockup again, and Job obliges. Poet quickly sinches up a HEADLOCK, but he can't get it in good and Job gets away and behind and locks his arms around Poet's waist! Job goes for the German but Poet blocks and tries to elbow his way out but Job evades and tries again. Poet blocks again and again goes for the elbow, but Job shakes it off and this time hits it - GERMAN SUPLEX and he BRIDGES!

1

2

KICKOUT and Poet breaks out, rolling back over his shoulders. He lands on his knees while Job gets to his feet. Poet scrambles forward and takes Job down again, Amateur style, and scrambles around, trying to lock in a Camel Clutch. Job scurries to the ropes, however, and we again have a standoff. SSP backs up a few steps and straightens his tights, strangely giving job some breathing room. Poet waves his hands in a, 'Get up' gesture as Job eyes him wearily. Job gets to his feet and wipes his hands on his tights and the two circle again. Poet asks for another lockup! Job moves in but just short of locking in, Poet knees Job in the gut, runs off the ropes and dives coming in behind to take Job's knee out with a shoulderblock.

Poet DROPS THE LEG~! and then goes to pull Job back up. SP fires him off to the ropes but Job ducks through a clothesline. Off the ropes again and SP drops. Job leaps and comes off the ropes again and this time Poet seems set for a Belly to Belly but Job puts on the breaks. SP looks up at him, surprise. Job holds up three fingers and NAILS SP WITH A QUICK DDT! While SP is stunned, Job moves to his corner to TAG IN K-NESS.

K comes in as SP gets to his feet and fires off a right hand to the staggering Poet. Another. And another, and K whips SP off. SP drops on the return and slides between K's legs. SP springs up - FULL NELSON SLAM! K is stunned and SP makes for the corner. TAG TO EL DANDY! Dandy comes in and it looks like there's some energy crackling. Lockup, but K is quick to hit a Suplex. He holds on and goes for a second, but Dandy blocks and elbows his way out, spinning to get a lock from behind on K-Ness. K tries to elbow his way out, but Dandy holds on and runs him towards the ropes. They hit and Dandy rolls it back and over for a pin!

1 . . .

2-KICKOUT! K is getting to his feet so Dandy bolts by, rebounds off the opposite side and he's looking for the Shining Wizard! K DUCKS! and springs up behind Dandy! K is quick with a SITOUT POWERBOMB~! and he sits his legs on Dandy's arms for the pin!

1

2

KICKOUT and Dandy hooks one of K's legs and forces himself upright PINNING K!

1

2

KICKOUT and K reverses it back to the sitout pin!

1

2

KICKOUT~! and Dandy reverses back!

1

KICKOUT! and K forces Dandy off of him. El Dandy rolls to his feet and K springs to his. Dandy charges but K is on it - DROP TOE HOLD, and K goes for the ANKLELOCK! He locks it in and Dandy's got nowhere to go in the middle of the ring. K sinches it up hard while Dandy slowly tries to make progress towards the ropes. They get near and Dandy almost gets his fingers around the bottom rope but K yanks it back, not willing to give up such an advantage. Dandy tries again for the ropes and again K yanks him back. While K pulls back, however, Dandy flips over and starts kicking K in the chest to break free. K lets go and stumbles back, and Dandy is quick to launch from his knees into a HARSH SPEAR~! to nail K!

Both men are stunned, El Dandy with a hurt ankle and K nursing his ribs from the big spear. They both start making for their corners, as Job and Poet are reaching in for the tag. Dandy gets there, K gets there, and the HOT TAG IS MADE AND THE LIGHTS GO OUT.

The arena is in total darkness, fans screaming and booing in confusion. People slamming in the ring can be heard, and then . . . the lights return.

A masked man stands on the stage, while Job Squad is laid out at the bottom of the ramp, bloodied. In the ring, K-Ness is sprawled as well, with Spider Poet standing over him, looking down at him with a wicked smile. Poet slowly pulls K-Ness to his feet, and he fires him off to the ropes - TILDEBANG~!

Poet nudges K onto his back with his boot and then drops to his knees before hooking K's leg for the pin.

1

2

3!

* DING DING DING DING *

RING ANNOUNCER

Winners, and STILL Tag Team Champions, LOS INFERNALES!

Poet and Dandy take their belts and leave the ring as the fans boo with all they've got. The two men look up at the masked man on the stage and nod. Poet takes a mic and kneels over Job Squad. He reaches down and lightly slaps Job to wake him up. Job is so dazed that all he can do is look at Poet distantly.

Whatever happened to him, he got his bell rung good. Poet smiles thinly and winks at him. "You know, Job . . . three is a magic number. Trust me.

Poet throws the mic down, and the Tag Champions make their way back up the ramp. Victorious . . . by any means.

[Chanel #99]

JR

We just saw a great match, with the champions retaining.

JESSE

No surprise there. IOU are on their backs more than a hooker. And I know that for a fact, I was in Vieitnam; hookers ALL OVER the place.

JR

You know what's next, don't you.

JESSE

Ooooooooh, yeah. Don't hide your excitement. You know it's time for the return of "The Body Shop!"

JR

No, for real?

JESSE

And guess who gets to introduce him?

JR

I'm dying with excitement to find out.

JESSE

The truth sets you feel, don't it? But I'M gonna introduce him!

Jesse climbs on top of the announce table, mic in hand.

JESSE

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present to you the man -- who besides me -- tells it like it is...Tony 'The Body!'

CUE: "Simply Ravishing"

THE BODY SHOP

A mixture of cheers and boos ring through the sold out Dunkin' Donuts Center, as Tony "The Body" makes his short-awaited return to OAOAST programing, wearing a tuxedo.

THE SET: A fancy TONIGHT SHOW-like set, complete with desk and couch; pictures of Tony -- with Presidents, Prime Ministers, celebrities, etc -- hanging on the wall, with a GIANT statue of Tony's head, sculpted out of ice, with a see-through glass covering, to without a doubt, ensure it doesn't melt -- sitting on a shelf made out too look like 'The Body's' body.

Tony stands in-front of the set, like he's about to deliver a monologue.

TONY

Welcome my friends to the show that always ends. For those who only know me from my days as a shitty babyface, my name is Tony 'The Body' --

Boos and cheers heard from the crowd.

TONY (CONT'D)

And I'm the man who made the OAOAST famous WORLDWIDE! And the originator of the OAOAST talk-show format.

Before I get to tonight's guest -- EvenflowDDT -- I wanna make it clear how I lost a "retirement" match -- those things never last anyway -- but got a spot on the show.

At AngleMania II, I lost to a wannbe trying to be a somebody. I lost the match 'cuz I wanted too. That's right, I threw the match. I got tried of busting my ass for little pukes like you only to be shitted on! The next night on IZ, I let you assholes know how I feel.

You see, I wanted to debut 'The Body Shop' on OAOAST TV. I give the producers of HD first shot since I debuted there AND came up with the name. But the producers on HD told me in a diplomatic way 'no'; too controversial, you'll outshine the roster, blah blah blah. BULLSHIT!

When TSM executives find out about that, they freak. They wondered why the producers didn't want to put the higest rated OAOAST show of ALL-TIME on HD. The son of a bitch who blocked TBS from returning to OAOAST TV, and the same son of a bitch who said no, got his ass FIRED.

Three weeks ago, I get a call from TSM executives asking if I'd like to bring TBS to pay-per-view. I said: "$5 million and I can say and do whatever the hell I want, and you got a deal." TSM officials -- being the greedy freaks they are -- quickly say 'yes'

Now the females can once again play with themselves thinking of me. And some guys -- 'some guys,' Some Guy. Aw, yes...Some Guy.

Crowd pops.

TONY

Two weeks ago, Some Guy returned. Yippie! Seems like Guy is still a little hurt by the aWo screw up. Well SG...YOU'RE THE SCREW UP! Think about it for just one minute. It's July 2002, CWM presents me this "master plan" you and Caboose created. So I look at it and tell CWM: "I don't want to be apart of the storylines." We talk about it some more with BPP inside the VM "BOOKERS" -- I know you love that word -- folder. I didn't want to do it at first, but CWM got me to change my mind. I then send you a revised verison. Now, you folks who don't know this stuff need to consider the fact I was only the so-called "Executive Producer" for only a month or so at that point, so I have no idea how the OAOAST worked except for the fact I suggested coming onboard to make sure things were smoothed in the win/loss department. My plan sees me winning in almost -- if not -- everything. I didn't know what I was doing! Instead of crying over that, look at how the aWo reunion went; I lost nearly ALL my matches. I was supposed to be a LEGEND (!), but I turned out as a joke! Unlike other people, I didn't cry about it. You know why? I'm a man, I don't worry about something that won't affect me or others, such as "how my character is handle."

Later that month, "The Quit Squad" of SG, Superstar and Caboose -- hell, I'll thrown in that crooked Commissioner of HeldDown that Anglesault owns -- raise concerns that the OAOAST has (pretending to sob) "changed." FUCK YOU!

You see, they were upset that the OAOAST went from being a place full of mindless-neanderthals posting ::belt shots:: to becoming a legit e-fed, wheather they liked it or not. Of course, being the one who appears to have power, I feel like I'm taking the heat, when in-fact, I hardly did anything. BPP & CWM were running the shows. If you wanted to place blame on somebody, it would be them. Things get kinda fuzzy after that. We end up using bits and pieces of the SG/Caboose plan in October 2002 since I deleted the original idea; I never save anything. But the Quit Squad wants you to think it was some giant conspiracy...not an honest mistake.

By the time we got around to the aWo reunion, SG hung around for a while, but he was basically finished with the OAOAST.

I have nothing but RESPECT for Some Guy. But pal, if you aren't a religious man, you better start praying to all Gods in the world, because if I wasn't such a clam person, I would of beat the shit out of you and your Quit Squad long ago. Too bad I'm retired, as I could've done it now.

Mixture of cheers and boos.

TONY

You're shirts and jeans; I'm custom-made suits. You're a broken down car; I'm a long limo. You're commerical planes; I'm a private jet.

Tony takes off his tux jacket and throws it in the air.

TONY (CONT'D)

You're beer; I'm the finest wines in the world! You're fat women; I'm with women who have more curves, that I can't make a turn without banging into one! (Tony humps the desk) You're laid twice a week; I get laid every hour (!) AND I don't have to pay for it Hahaha.

Tony pulls down his pants, turns around to show is bare-ass.

TONY

Quit Squad, this is my ASS! So what I'd like for you losers to do right now, is to close your eyes, pucker your lips, place them on your monitors and feel THE POWER by kissing my ASS!

Cameras get a tight-shot of 'The Body's' ass, as a kissing sound effect plays.

TONY

You get the point?

P.S. You people better remember who built this house. Sure, AS & CWM were the foundation. But I was the architect who built the house. And without the architect, you have nothing but boards laying around.

CUE: Rock-like music

The cameras pan the crowd as Tony goes to his desk, to bring out his guest.

[Chanel #99]

TONY "THE BODY"

What I'd like to have right now, is for all you providence, donut eating, ass-pickin', scumbags ... Please welcome, the first man on the re-debut of 'The Body Shop -- and the man who will DETHRONE Zack Malibu, later on tonight -- EvenflowD...D...T~!

CUE: "As Heaven is Wide"

The crowd boos as EF makes his way to the TBS set.

TONY

Welcome to 'The Body Shop,' 'Flow. Please, take a seat.

Tony sits behind his desk, while EF sits on the massive couch on the incredible TBS set.

TONY

'Flow, last year on pay-per-view, you beat the hell out of Zack Malibu -- as a matter of fact, we're gonna show clips from that match as we speak. You're the only man he hasn't beaten.

COURTESY:

OAOAST HOME ENTERTAINMENT

AngleSlam 2002

MAY 3rd, 2002

...evenflow gives him a low blow and a

neckbreaker. Evenflow picks up Zack and snap suplexs him over.

Zack irish whips Evenflow into the turnbuckle but Evenflow reverses and sends Zack in and hits the EVENFLOW DDT. 1..2.. NO!

TONY

Just so the folks at home know, you let him, just to beat his ass again. Zack didn't kick out.

...Evenflow picks Zack up and goes for the rolling german suplexs...

Evenflow gets up and punches him in the gut and then gives him a SuperPlex for a two count.

Zack gives Evenflow a fameasser and a brainbuster for a 2.9 count.

TONY

Lucky shot. The only offensive move Zack hit during the match, I might add.

JR

That's not true.

JESSE

A picture's worth a thousand words.

JR

Not when ones been edited into a minute and a half highlight package.

Zack is frustrated and jaws at the fans, when he turns around Evenflow boots him in the gut and gives him the SUBURBAN ANGST~! 1…2…3!! Evenflow wins! Evenflow wins!

TONY

Look at that! You own him! Too bad he decided to brainwash you. And while I'm on that subject, I'd like to let you know, when I teamed with Zack for War Games, he tried to brainwash team OAOAST, and was talkin' smack about you. How he carried you during the In Crowd days, how he was scared straight by you and prayed to Jebus, he would never have to face you again, how he was banging Alison behind your back.

Crowd boos, as they know Tony is lying and trying to stirr things up.

TONY (CONT'D)

One time he even told a story how he banged Alison while you were taking a shower after a hard-fought match. To be quite honest, I was sick to my stomach hearing that B.S. It's such a shame, because of him, you lost it all. Your wonderful girlfriend. Your career. Everything. Now he's trying to duck you; it wouldn't be the only time Zack's tried to duck opponents. He's ducking half the OAOAST roster. The Board of Directors have to force him to defend his title.

Crowd starts a ZACK chant.

TONY

How do you feel about the things I mentioned. And how do you feel about Zack brainwashing Alison, who I feel is your soulmate?

evenflowDDT

You know, a lot can happen a moment. Even more can happen in a year. I remember... I was so angry, so mad, at who? Why? Who can say? Who can say if I was right, or wrong? I do know one thing... my wrath brought results. Note my opponent for tonight, Zack... remember how Zack used to be? I remember in those days all I knew of him then was that he was a selfish, rich man. All he looked out for was himself, and I changed that. I showed him that he wasn't on top, that nobody was on top. And it was good. It was right.

I've heard a lot of things about Zack, before, after, and during my tenure with the In Crowd, and indeed, it isn't the first time I've heard some of the things you mentioned. Did I believe it then? Maybe. But I let it slide... Zack, Superstar, and I were brothers, and we loved each other like brothers. We brought out the best in each other, we watched each others backs, we gave and took. But then Zack... he started taking more. Superstar got out. I didn't. I couldn't see through my devotion, and now what do I have? Nothing. I enter the ring tonight as I entered the ring 12 months ago... an angry man with nothing to lose. The difference is that now I'm focused. I'm bitter. Forgive my cynicism, but all I have to live for is beating Zack tonight. I'll retain my dignity. It's all he hasn't taken from me. And Zack? Hopefully that will reinstate the humility, the friendship, the compassion into him, like last time I beat him. Look at him... ever since he started pursuing that title, he's become so wrapped in taking, taking, taking, and destroying other people's lives... anyone can see this, he can see this, but he's so wrapped up in it that he doesn't want to change back. He's crossed over, and he refuses to let me or anyone else help him. Why else would he deny our long friendship? Why would he try to run? Why wouldn't he let us help him? He's a different man. He's an evil man. And sadly, the only way to fix that is to literally beat the sense and morality into him. It pains me, but it's the only way.

TONY

Did you hear

Evanescence will be IN PROVIDENCE~!...

Crowd pops.

TONY (CONT'D)

singing Zack's theme? Man, those guys suck big-time, don't ya think?

evenflowDDT

Who? I really haven't been keeping up with music. I can barely keep up with my life, with all that's changed.

TONY

Disgusting; that's the best way I can describe Zack Malibu -- sadly, our World heavyweight champion.

Crowd boos.

TONY

I understand we even have footage of you, Alison and Zack "chillin'" with boy scouts, correct?

evenflowDDT

Yea, this was taken when we were in the In Crowd...and it's real.

JR

Surrrre.

JESSE

Oh shut up, Ross! It's clear to me, Zack has been screwing around for nearly a year, brainwashing 'Flow and Alison.

JR

If I didn't know anybody, I'd think you and Tony were brainwashed, believing Evenflow, gimmie a break.

JESSE

You need one.

DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING FOOTAGE CONTAINS ACTS OF ADULTERY, CRUELTY AND TOTAL DISREGARD FOR CHILDREN. WE ENSURE YOU, THIS FOOTAGE IS SOOOOOOOO REAL, IT'S BEEN VERIFIED BY THE C.I.A. ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS REAL. WE'RE TELLING THE TRUTH. NO, SERIOUSLY. WE'D NEVER LIE!

SOMETIME LAST YEAR

A GIANT sign, hanging on a lodge, reading BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA, is shown.

Yep, the footage appears to be real, as Zack, EF & Alison are at a park, with a lake in the background, talking with boy scouts, and helping sell candy at the official IC booth, complete with IN CROWD banner.

JESSE

Did it clear up your worries, JR?

JR

I admit, I was wrong.

Cameras cut to EF's face; the back of

"Zack's" head, as we pick-up the following audio:

"ZACK"

(whose voice sounds different, and hair is now out of place)

Man, 'Flow. I hope one day to be OAOAST champion, so I can stop wearing the toy OAOAST title, made out of foam.

A FATHER & SON give EF the money for the candy, whiling chating with him. The camera then zooms at the backside of Alison and Zack PINCHES Alison on her ass. Wideshot shows Alison smiling while EF is being a fantasic role model, talking with the young man and his father.

JESSE

Zack's a homewrecker!

JR

Awwww, this is BULLSHIT, Jess! Folks, I'm sorry for the strong language, but Evenflow & Tony are smearing Zack's name. This is slander!

JESSE

Prove! That's what this is. Today is a sad day, the world now knows of Zack's sexual advances towards Alison, BEHIND 'Flow's back, I might add.

The wideshot now looks like it's in front of a blue-screen, as "Zack" & "Alison" are all over each other as EF is still talking with the father and son.

JR

This is sick.

JESSE

I know. The entire OAOAST should be ashamed of Zack Malibu. Or should I say "The Homewrecker?"

"Zack" & "Alison" hop into a boat called "IT'S SCREECH" and start ripping off their clothes as the boat floats off.

FADE TO BLACK

JR

That wasn't Zack. It was Dustin Diamond -- better known as "Screech" on "Saved by the Bell."

JESSE

No, no. That was Zack. You just can't admit the shocking video proof was indeed "Homewrecker" Zack Malibu.

JR

I thought Dustin was one of Zack's friends. What some people would do for a buck.

TONY

'Flow, before he end this great, insightful interview... When you win the OAOAST championship TONIGHT...

BULLSHIT chants from the sold out crowd at the Dunkin' Donuts arena in Providence, RI.

TONY (CONT'D)

Can you believe these morons? How does any owner approve the name of a donut shop for an arena? Anyway, as I was saying. When you win the title tonight, and leave Preppie for dead...what do you plan on doing?

evenflowDDT

I'm going to destroy it. It's... like any false idol, it's just so evil. Like a curse it invades and forces you to denounce all your beliefs, and to hurt all the people you love, love you, and believe in you. I'm not an idol worshipper... I'm not doing this for gold. I don't need gold. I can live without gold. I'm doing this for Zack... I want the old Zack back. The real Zack. I hate the new one. And I'll destroy it. Such I have proclaimed, such shall be so.

EF gets up and leaves.

Tony looks to make EF is gone.

TONY

That guy is crazy as hell. Now I'm sorry -- well, not really -- to tell you little people, the show is over, and I have to go. So remember this: I only love myself, my dick, and myself. As always, it's been YOU'RE honor!

CUE: "Simply Ravishing"

The cameras shown Tony leaving the stage, as we cut back to JR & Jesse.

JESSE

That's an Emmy award in the making. No doubt.

JR

I'm still disgusted at the slanderous claims of 'Flow. Uh.

[Chanel #99]

JR

Fans, for the second time tonight, we're going to present a match in our "Sounds of the Ring" feature. You saw it during the tag title match; now it's time for singles action.

JESSE

Don't b.s. the people...we're too lazy to do commentary for this match.

CUE: "Let Me Clear My Throat" (Old School Mix)

"Let Me Clear My Throat" (Old School Mix) by DJ Kool hits up on the loudspeakers as the lights turn dark as a spotlight hits up on the set! The Mad Cappa dances out to cheers and "Go Cappa" chants! He climbs in the ring as he poses to the crowd while pyro comes out of the turnbuckles!

CUE: "The Fake Sound of Progress"

Then "The Fake Sound of Progress" by Lostprophets hit up as the lights turn blue with flashing spotlights as

"Shooter" Jay Darring comes out to loud cheers from the crowd! When he climbs in the ring, does his signature "gun gesture" which the crowd mimmicks.

The normal lights turn back on as the smoke clears! The bell sounds as Jay and Cappa shake hands to the crowd's approval! They circle around each other as they measure each other out. They lock up in a neck and collar tie up as they jockey for position. They make it over to the ropes as the ref breaks it up.

Cappa backs off as Jay goes for a hiptoss! Jay then delivers with a stiff kick to Cappa's back! Cappa takes Jay down when Jay turns around! He hurries over to elbow Jay's back! He goes to slap on a chinlock, but Jay locks Cappa's leg down to knock him down! Jay holds onto bend back to make it into a STF!

However, Cappa quickly grabs the ropes as Jay lets go. Cappa gets up to dropkick Jay. Cappa tries to slap a half crab, but Jay rolls him up for a count of 1! Jay tries to superkick Cappa, but Cappa grabs hold of it and takes him down to slap a half crab!

Jay quickly grabs the rope as Cappa lets go! Jay gets up and tries to clothesline Cappa, but Cappa ducks and side suplexes him! Jay rolls back to get up to drop toe hold Cappa down! Jay slaps on a Fujiwara armbar with some extra crankage on Cappa's back!

Cappa flaps over to crawl to the ropes to get it broken! Jay gets Cappa back up and slaps on a dragon sleeper with some leverage on Cappa's back as Jay is kneeing Cappa's back!

However, Cappa manages to get his legs up to turn it into a head scissors takedown!

Cappa then X-Factors Jay. He climbs the turnbuckle and does a legdrop from the top turnbuckle! He accidentally hits Jay's nose with the legdrop and Jay's nose starts to bleed! Cappa goes for the cover.

Jay gets pissed off and gets up at 1! Jay delivers a STIFF~! Superkick! Jay goes for a cover.

1………..2……Kickout!

Jay yanks Cappa back up and Irish whips Cappa to the turnbuckle with vicious force! It was so vicious, that Cappa bounces off the turnbuckle! Jay does a Saito suplex! He goes for a cover, but Cappa is under the rope!

Jay pulls Cappa back in and tries to pin him again, but Cappa rolls him up into the Walls of Cappa! However, Cappa lets go due to back pain! Jay gets back up and double arm DDTs Cappa! He sets Cappa back up for a bridge suplex pin.

1……..2…….2.9999 as Cappa kicks out!

Cappa does a snap German suplex as Cappa goes for a weak cover.

1…….2……..Kickout!

Jay then does a German suplex of his own! Jay then turns Cappa on his stomach. Cappa climbs the turnbuckle and does a diving headbutt on Cappa's back!

The crowd ooos!

Jay takes his time to recover. He finally goes for the cover after a while.

1……2………..2.9999999! Cappa kicks out! The crowd is cheering this match!

Jay then sets Cappa and does the Shining Black! Cappa has been taking a beating!

Jay signals for the Afterthought! Jay picks Cappa back up for the Afterthought, but Cappa starts fighting back by elbowing Jay into a reverse DDT!

Jay quickly gets back up and Cappa starts throwing punches at Jay! Cappa Irish whips Jay to the turnbuckle. They alternate chops as the crowd WOOOS every time a chop is done! Jay tries for the last cop, but Cappa ducks and does the Final Cut on Jay.

Cappa runs off the top turnbuckle and does the side swinging moonsault! The crowd ooohs over it!

However, it also hurts Cappa's back as Cappa gets back up as he clinches his back!

Both men slow to get to their feet, Jay looks for the roaring elbow- Cappa ducks! BUST A CAP~! Jay is falls back like he's been shot!

Cappa is still hurt, he's slowly...crawling...over. 1,2......

JAY PUT HIS HAND ON THE ROPE! THE CROWD IS IN SHOCK!

Cappa- "GATEMALA!" The crowd is roaring for the Cappa! He drags the bloody, groggy Jay to the Turnbuckle, and sets up IT'S SHOWTIME!

Wait a second! Vince Rusco is sprinting to the ring and climb on the apron! He's got a cane in his hand, hard caneshot to the injured back of Mad Cappa! Cappa, screams in pain!

Jay looks to take advantage- AN AFTERTHOUGHT FROM THE TOP ROPE! Both men are down, Jay manages to drape an arm over Cappa....

1....2.....3! "Shooter" Jay Darring is the #1 Contender to the OAOAST North American Championship!

* DING DING DING DING *

RING ANNOUNCER

The winner of the match...Shooter J...

Vince Rusco is coming in the ring- he whacks Cappa again with the cane! Caneshot to ShooterJay as well. And here comes Boricua and Puerto Rican Lightning. Cappa is still out, and PRL adds insult to injury with the PR Nightmare! Boricua picks up the bloodied and dazed Jay, and powerbombs him right on his head!

Wait a minute, here comes Undisputed to save his new tag team partner! PR sees him, clothesline- DUCKED! CHAMPIONSHIP MATERIAL TO PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!

ShooterJay is back up, he and Undisputed have got ahold of Boricua- BREAKOUT BOMB! PRL and Boricua roll out of the ring. Vince Rusco sees the damage, he's trying to get away- but Cappa is up and has him by the hair! BUST A CAP~! Russo flies out of the ring! The Puerto Rican crew flees like scalded dogs as Jay, Cappa and Undisputed stand tall, battered but proud.

[Chanel #99]

JR

Jess, that's going to do it for us. What a night it's been for the Intense Zone.

JESSE

We saw a major upset, Orion beating BPP--

JR

I question the way Orion won it, but yes, he defeated BPP.

JESSE

You question everything. ut on thing you can't question, JINGUS turning on long-time partner Eskimo, after the lost to the rookie tag team of Featured Attraction.

Los Infernales retained the tag titles by beating IOU. Tony returned with "The Body Shop," which was FANTASIC! "The Quit Squad?" Ha. I'm sure they're glad Tony never decided to beat them all up.

JR

For Jesse "The Body" Ventura -- I'm Jim Ross. We'll see you later tonight for the Zack/Evenflow -- OAOAST championship match. Michael, Coach, it's all yours.

COLE

Thanks, Jim. Coach, what a night it's been.

COACH

Michael, the action we've seen so far has been incredible. It's sure to pick up with the HeldDown roster, tearin' down da house.

COLE

Let's go to the ring.

BLACK WIDOW vs. CRYSTAL

I linger in the doorway

of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name

let me stay

where the wind will whisper to me

where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story

Black Widow calmly walks down the ramp with Imaginary blaring through the speakers.

in my field of paper flowers

and candy clouds of lullaby

i lie inside myself for hours

and watch my purple sky fly over me

Widow patiently waits for Crystal, looking completely focused. The beat suddenly changes and "I'm Just a Girl" comes on.

CUE: "I'm Just a Girl"

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes

I'm exposed and it's no big surprise

Don't you think I know exactly where I stand

This World is forcing me to hold your hand

Crystal jogs to the ring, enjoying every moment of the crowds cheering.

MC

You know Coach, this is Crystal's debut Pay Per View.

COACH

It's Widow's wrestling debut too, Michael.

* DING DING DING! *

COACH

Here we go! Remember folks, if Widow loses, she has to go and stay on HeldDown!

Widow and Crystal make their way to the middle of the ring and shake hands, showing respect and sportsmanship between the two. The two ladies circle each other and start with a tie-up. Widow gets the wristlock on Crystal, who responds by flipping out of it and returning with a wristlock of her own. Widow flips out also, and hiptosses Crystal, and Crystal quickly gets up and returns with one of her own. Both ladies are up quickly and both attempt a dropkick. They get up and are in a fighting stance.

MC

These ladies are obviously evenly matched and know each other very well.

COACH

They sure do Cole.

Another tie-up and Crystal whips Widow into the ropes and clothlines her. She runs to the ropes and Widow rolls out of the way. Widow catches Crystal and uses her own momentum against her with a thunderous Belly-to-Belly. Widow puts the boots on Crystal and picks her up. Widow goes for the German Suplex, but Crystal blocks it and goes for the roll-up.

1…

Kickout!

Widow is a little flustered at just what happened and blindly tries for the clothesline. Crystal ducks and hits THE SPEAR~! She quickly goes for the cover.

1…

2…

Kickout!

Crystal quickly picks up Widow and whips her into the corner. Crystal goes for the corner spear, but Widow moves and Crystal goes full speed into the steel post and falls outside. Widow follows and puts the boots on Crystal. She then picks Crystal up and rams her back into the post. Widow throws Crystal back in, then locking in a STF. Crystal quickly scrambles to the ropes and forces Widow to unlock the painful submission. Widow picks up her up, hits a double-underhook suplex and goes for the WIDOWSAULT. She hits it fully and goes for the pin.

1..

2…..

NOO!

MC

I can't believe that Crystal kicked out!

Crystal barely kicks out and Widow looks a little frustrated. She goes to the top rope and signals Crystal to get up.

COACH

I think she is going to hit the Widowcanrana!

Widow goes for the Widowcanrana but Crystal reverses with a thunderous sitdown-powerbomb! The crowd is on their feet, waiting to see who gets up first.

1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

Crystal and Widow start to stir

6!

7!

Both the girls are slowly getting to their feet

8!

COLE

Widow and Crystal are up at the same time!

Widow throws a right hand, but Crystal blocks and responds with one of her own. Widow tries for another right, but the same thing happens. Crystal whips Widow to the ropes and tries for a clothesline. Widow ducks and grabs Crystal from behind. Crystal quickly elbows out of her grip and goes behind Widow and hits a German Suplex followed by a standing moonsault and a pin.

1..

2…

Kickout!

COACH

What a kickout by Widow! I thought it was over right there!

Crystal picks Widow up to whip her to the ropes, but Widow reverses it. Widow goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam, but Crystal turns that into a flying headscissors. Both girls get up and Widow charges at Crystal, only to get caught with a spinning heel kick. Crystal goes to the top rope and hits the DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!

1….

2….

NOOO!

Widow had got her foot on the rope.

COLE

Great ring presence by Widow.

Crystal argues with the ref, not believing that Widow had her foot on the rope. This gives Widow enough time to get some of her wits back. Crystal picks up Widow, only to get a boot to the gut. Widow tries for the MISSES TIDELBANG, but Crystal pushes her into the ropes. Crystal ducks Widow's clothesline and Widow comes at her again with a Widowcanrana. But Crystal catches her legs, flips her around and locks in the CRYSTALLING! Widow tries to scramble to the ropes, but Crystal just drags her back into the center of the ring. Seeing no way to escape, WIDOW TAPS!

* DING DING DING DING *

RING ANNOUNCER

In 10:32, THE WINNER IS…CRYSTAL!

COACH

What a match these two ladies had!

COLE

Kinda makes me remember the match we had last night at the hotel.

COACH

Uh...

The ref raises Crystal hand while Widow is stumbling to get back up. In a show of sportsmanship, Crystal and Widow hug and Widow leaves the ring while Crystal celebrates some more.

COACH

Ooooooooh, yeah, mamaaaaaa!

COLE

As Coach discharges, the next OAOAST pay-per-view event is May 25th.

EXT. - PITTSBURGH HIGH SCHOOL

GIANT statue of Kurt Angle, with his arms raised, stands in the middle of the legendary Pittsburgh High (school), which all of the great OAOAST superstars, past and present attended.

INT.- PRINICPAL H'S OFFICE

Inside Prinicpal H's office, an office filled with HHH posters, bodybuilders..."The Game" himself, Triple H, monitors the students who can't grasp the idea of holding people down.

Many of the students are writing something except one...ZACK MALIBU!

PRINICPAL H

(HHHonk)

Class, hurry up and uh finish your essay on why I am-uh "The Game," and why "I'm that damn good" uh!

Zack looks at his watch...

2:59

TICK-TOCK, TICK-TOCK, TICK-TOCK....

Zack looks at the bell in the office, then his watch again...

The hour hand hits 3!

CUE: "Flintstones" theme (insturmental)

School bell RINGS, ala the bird's tail being pulled in the opening of the "Flintstones."

ZACK

See ya later, Mr. H.

Zack jumps out of his chair and hands Prinicpal H his paper, and smashes through the door.

Prinicpal H looks at it, then turns RED.

Drawing of HHH holding his torn quad.

Prinicpal H's head EXPLODES.

ZACK

(singing)

Malibu, Zack Malibu

Zack runs through the halls, turns, jumps on, the slides down the hand-rails.

He's the greatest champion in One and Only Anglesault Thread history

Passes by the school cafe, and lunch-lady Stephanie McMahon...picks up a Pepsi soda.

From the, town of Providence

Exits the cafe and nearly runs into the school janitor, Test

He looks like he just walked off the set of "Friends"

Runs into the gym, holding the OAOAST title, in front of Coach Angle's wrestling team.

Let's ride, with this pissed off prep

Goes inside the girls lockerrom, comes out with up Alison.

Through the, couresty of pay-per-view

Zack and Alison get into a sports car and drive off...blowing smoke at the mass crowd of Coach Angle's wrestling team.

When you're with Zack Malibu

As Zack and Alison drive off, Zack holds up the OAOAST title.

You're not 4-life, not 4-ever, just 4-real

SCHOOL'S OUT

MAY 25th, 2003

LIVE

ONLY ON TSM PAY-PER-VIEW

The voice of James Earl Jones greets us...

JAMES EARL JONES (Voice-Over)

THIS... is Totally Endorsed.

We fade in on the Totally Endorsed headquarters where Calvin Szechstein sits, staring directly into the camera.

CALVIN

As you may have noticed, Totally Endorsed is unbooked for this show. This does not make our sponsors happy, as they feel that men and woman of our caliber should be on every show, winning no less. And yet, we go unbooked. What gives?

Well, I'm here to reassure all you fans that we will not fade out. We will not become the punchline to your jokes and we will never... ever... be taken lightly. We defeated the World Champ and three other men last week. And yet he has the nerve to see to it that we go matchless? Where's the fairness in that?

But on behalf of Pepsi, I am here to make a promise to you - Totally Endorsed will OWN School's Out. This show is named after Zack Malibu, but when you order that pay-per-view nad you watch it, you will say that you just watched the Totally Endorsed Three Hours of Thrills, and you will love every moment of it more than you love your Pepsi in the morning. And that's a promise.

Thank you for your time.

We fade out of the TE headquarters, Jones taking us back...

JONES (V.O.)

This has been Totally Endorsed.

[Chanel #99]

The Parka and Peter Knight walk backstage towards the entranceway, discussing Parka's strategy for his upcoming match. The crowd boos both heartily.

KNIGHT

Remember, tell him he has split ends, and then kick him in the teeth.

PARKA

This guy is going to realize I'm not to be messed with.

KNIGHT

Hello, what's this?

They come upon Simmons and Calvin discussing future endorsements and whatnot.

KNIGHT

Want a little warmup?

PARKA

You take it; I'm saving my pain for one man.

Knight approaches the 24/7 champ as Parka roughly pushes away Simmons.

PARKA

Easy there, hombre, this will only take a minute.

Knight approaches Calvin and decks him with a right to the jaw. Knight scoops him up and slams him through a table and covers. A ref runs into frame and makes the three count. Knight brushes himself off and takes the 24/7 belt and Parka and Knight resume their walk.

COACH

At least Knight got to do something tonight.

PARKA

Nice belt.

KNIGHT

Yeah. Now, the most important thing is to make him cry, that gives you a BIG opening.

[Chanel #99]

CUE: "California Love"

The music plays as Parka walks to the ring alone. He seems very focused as he steps through the ropes and paces around the ring for a few seconds before sitting on the top turnbuckle. He tosses his mask to a ring attendant and sits there with his hands folded, waiting for Shattered Dreams to arrive.

COLE

The Parka seems to be all business tonight as he takes on his former partner and friend.

COACH

After they way Parka left SD laying at the end of HeldDOWN~! I doubt these two are friends anymore Michael.

Fighter plays as Shattered Dreams makes his way out. Bubbles fill the entrance area as he dances a little for the fans. The fans cheer loudly, especially the girls. SD pauses for a second and motions back to the entrance way. After a couple of seconds a young woman appears wearing a Union Jack shirt and short denim shorts. She walks up to SD and takes him by the arm. SD lowers his sunglasses a little and gives the crowd a thumbs up. SD comes to ringside and grabs a microphone.

SD

Ladies and Gentlemen! I bring to you the hottest young lass from the UK! Welsh Lolita~!!

Everyone cheers as Welsh Lolita raises her arm and smiles and some guys in the second row start whistling and hollering at Lolita asking her for her number.

COACH

Whoa baby! SD just became my new favorite wrestler!

COLE

Why is that?

COACH

Just look!

COLE

Yeah SD is quite the physical specimen.

COACH

...

Parka has had enough and reaches over the top rope, grabbing Lolita by the hair causing her to scream. This enrages SD and he leaps up to the apron and punches Parka.

Parka lets go of Lolita and stumbles back as SD enters the ring

*DING DING DING*

COLE

Big right hand to Parka to start things off!

SD wastes no time spearing Parka into a corner and plants a couple of shoulder blocks in Parka's midsection. He then whips Parka across to the other corner and follows him in with a clothesline. Parka falls forward face first to the mat and SD quickly goes for the cover.

1

2...NO!!!

COLE

Only a two count! SD will have to do more than that to put Parka down.

COACH

SD has come out of the gates with a fury if he can keep this up he could win this thing.

SD picks Parka up and hooks him up for a suplex, but Parka punches his way out and shoves SD to the mat. He gets back to his feet and locks up with Parka. Parka backs him into the corner and lays in some chops and even gets in SD's face yelling at him.

PARKA

Come on Dreams!! Show me what you've got!

COACH

Just listen to Parka. He's already getting into the face of Shattered Dreams.

COLE

Harsh words from a harsh man.

COACH

Where did you come up with that?

SD chops Parka back and flips him around into the corner. SD throws some punches and climbs up for a 10 punch flurry. The crowd and Lolita count along.

1

2

3

4

5

Parka with a low blow!!!

COLE

Low Blow! Come on ref!

COACH

Parka doesn't care about a win/loss record he just wants to make SD pay!

The ref warns Parka as he shoves SD down to the mat. SD starts to get up but Parka kicks him in the head sending him back down. He then leaps into the air and crashes down with a fist drop to SD's head. He then picks SD up and takes him down again with a Russian Leg Sweep.

Cover...

1

2

NO!!!

He picks SD up again and whips him to the ropes. Big Clothesline on SD and another cover.

1

2

NO!!!

COLE

SD just won't stay down. The heart and determination in this kid is incredible.

COACHHey don't I usually say that?

Everytime SD tries to get up Parka shoves him back down with a boot to the face in a cocky manner.

PARKA

Come on SD get up! Hahahaha

Finally SD grabs Parka's foot and leaps at him with a clothesline and then he starts punching Parka. He then grabs Parka by the head and begins slamming his head on the mat. He picks Parka up and hits a Mega Magical Swinging Neckbreaker~!

Cover....

COLE

Parka was too busy trash talking SD to focus and now SD is going for a cover!

1

2

NO!!!

SD whips Parka to the ropes goes for a Mega Magical Superkick~!, but Parka catches the foot and kicks his other foot out from under him. He then leaps into the air and crashes down on SD with an Elbow Drop. Parka then runs to the rope and hits a Legdrop on SD. No cover though as Parka climbs to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a DiBiase-like Falling Elbow Drop that hits SD! Parka looks at his fallen opponent and laughs. Cover...

1

2

Parka picks SD up!!!

COLE

What the hell is Parka doing? He just picked SD up before the three count.

COACH

Three Count is here? I love those guys!

COLE

No I'm talking about the ref's three count.

The ref asks Parka what he's doing, but Parka just laughs it off and hits a DDT on SD. Instead of covering Parka waits for SD to get up and then Bulldogs him back down. Parka still doesn't cover, but instead drags SD out to mid ring and locks in a STF! SD screams in pain as Welsh Lolita hits the ring apron to get the crowd and SD to come alive. Parka really wrenches back on the STF as the ref asks SD if he wants to give up.

SD

No!

The scene quickly switches to Peter Knight watching the match on a monitor, his newly won 24/7 belt over his shoulder. Suddenly, a 2x4 with the Pepsi logo painted on it is broken over his back and Calvin rolls him over and covers. The same ref as earlier comes in and makes the three count, giving the belt back to Calvin, who runs off before Knight can recover. Knight grimaces in pain and struggles back to his feet, resuming his position in front of the monitor.

COLE

Calvin has given Knight a taste of his own medicine and got his title back!

COACH

Suddenly I want a Pepsi, where's that damn soda guy?

As we come back to the action in the ring the ref grabs SD's hand and raises it once...and it drops. He raises it a second time...and it drops. He raises it a third time and Parka lets go of the STF and shakes his head as if to say "it's not over!" Parka waits for SD to get up and runs in for a Float Over DDT!

Cover...

1

2

Parka picks up SD again!!

COLE

Again Parka pulls SD up! Damnit Parka is just toying with him!

COACH

The Parka is relentless! He's not going to stop until he's ruined this man's career!

Dangerous Backdrop Suplex on SD! Parka immediately picks SD up and tosses him to the outside. Welsh Lolita comes over to check on SD as he lays on the mat outside. Inside the ring Parka relaxes in the corner as the ref counts SD out.

COLE

Parka is in complete control right now!

COACH

This doesn't look good for Shattered Dreams.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

Parka tells the ref to stop counting as he goes outside the ring. Parka begins to stalk Lolita around the ring and she backs away. He then grabs SD, but SD pulls Parka by his pants into the ring steps. Parka's forehead catches the edge of the steps opening up a gash.

COLE

Parka is busted wide open!

COACH

It's just a trickle right now Cole!

Parka feels the blood on his head and becomes angry. He goes to the time keeper's table and grabs the ring bell, but the time keeper tries to stop him and like always the time keeper is knocked on his ass.

COLE

Now Parka is abusing the time keeper. This has gone too far!

COACH

If he comes over here I'm gone!

This time the ref comes out and grabs the ring bell from Parka. All this has given SD a chance to get to his feet. Parka turns around right into a Mega Magical Superkick~! from SD! SD grabs Parka and tosses him in the ring and slowly pulls himself up onto the ring apron. He waits for Parka to get up and hits a Mega Magical Springboard Cross Body, but it doesn't have much spring on it since SD is still tired. Parka catches SD and hits a powerslam on him!

Cover...

1

2

And once again Parka picks SD up!

PARKA

We're playing by my rules! This match ends when I say it ends!

COLE

Enough is enough!

COACH

It's time for a change??

COLE

Parka isn't even worried about the damn match anymore! This has to be stopped!

Parka grabs SD and hits a Brainbuster on him, but he holds on and hits another brainbuster! He still holds on and follows with another Brainbuster! He then pulls SD up and finishes off with a Michinoku Driver to end a new variation of the Super Charger, that he calls The Ultra Charger!

COLE

Parka calls that the Ultra Charger~! This is over!

COACH

But he's not going for the cover! Parka isn't going for the cover!

COLE

Yeah I heard you the first time.

The Parka does not go for a cover, but instead locks in a Dragon Sleeper! SD is out and all the ref has to do is drop his arm three times, but Parka drops SD and tells the ref to count a Knock Out. Parka relaxes in the corner as the ref counts.

COLE

That's it. SD is out like a light!

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Parka goes to pick SD up, but out of nowhere SD rolls Parka up!

COLE

Roll up out of nowhere!!

1

2

3NO!!!!!

Parka kicks out with a shocked look on his face! Parka gets up and yells at the ref that SD was pulling his pants during the pin. Then again out of nowhere SD tackles Parka through the ropes sending both men crashing to the outside! Both men appear to be out. The ref starts his count.

COLE

Both men take a nasty spill to the outside!

COACH

That's the break SD needed! If he can get to his feet first he could regain control!

1

2

3

4

5

6

Parka starts to stir

7

SD starts to stir

8

Parka slowly pulls himself up and crawls half way into the ring to stop the count, but SD pulls him back out and shoulder blocks Parka into the ring steps. SD is doing all that he can to hurt Parka even in his weakened state. As Parka rolls around in pain SD takes the time to recover. Parka starts to get back up, but SD throws himself at Parka again this time driving Parka's back into the side of the ring.

COLE

Finally SD is regaining control of the match!

Parka falls to the ground and SD pulls himself up using the guard rail. The crowd cheers as SD is on his feet and SD gives a little smile as he plants a couple of kicks to Parka. SD uses all his strength to throw Parka into the ring. The ref has decided not to count them out anymore and just let them fight. SD follows him in and pulls him to the corner. He grabs the top rope and plants a boot to Parka's throat, choking him. The ref gives him a five count and he breaks at 4. SD throws Parka to the other corner, but in the process SD falls to the mat. Parka hits the corner hard and slumps down.

COLE

This is it! All SD has to do is get to his feet and take the fight to Parka!

COACH

What heart and determination!

COLE

Hey I...nevermind.

After a few moments both men reach their feet and meet at mid ring as the fans begin to roar with anticipation. Slowly both men start trading punches causing SD to go down to one knee. SD uppercuts Parka knocking him down. The blood has now covered Parka's face in a crimson mask. SD kicks Parka in the head a couple of times and drops an Elbow. Cover.

COLE

SD with the cover!

1

2

3

COLE

No! Only a 2 count!

Parka barely kicks out and SD throws punches at Parka's head and then picks him up. Mega Magical Reverse DDT by SD! Cover.

COLE

Another cover by SD!!

COACH

He could have him this time!

1

2

3

COLE

No! Still only a 2 count!

Parka kicks out again and the fans are really getting behind SD. Lolita gets the fans to start a "Let's go Dreams!" chant as SD picks Parka up again. This time SD goes for the Mega Magical Tiger Driver, but has trouble lifting Parka up for it. Parka fights it and Back Body Drops SD! Cover.

1

2

2.9!!! SD kicks out!

COLE

SD kicked out!! He's still in this!

COACH

I can't believe it! I thought for sure that was the end!

Parka picks SD back up and sets him up for the Day of the Dead!, but SD slides down Parka's back and tries to bring him over into a Backslide! SD struggles to bring Parka over as Parka struggles to stop him. Parka breaks the hold and grabs SD up for a Backdrop Suplex, but SD flips over and lands behind him. SD grabs Parka for a Mega Magical German Suplex, but Parka Elbows his way out. The crowd is going crazy over all the reversed moves as both men are on their

last wind trying everything.

COLE

These guys are countering everything!

COACH

Neither has the strength left to finish a move!

Parka grabs SD for a Half Nelson Suplex and hits it. Cover.

COACH

Well I guess I spoke too soon!

1

2

COLE

No SD's foot is on the ropes!!

Parka is frustrated and goes to the outside for a weapon. He grabs a chair and slides into the ring. The ref comes to stop him, but Parka lightly shoves him to the side and raises the chair above his head!

COLE

Ref get that damn chair out of the ring!

COACH

This could be a disqualification for Parka.

LOW BLOW by SD! and the ref throws the chair into the corner of the ring. Mega Magical Roll Up! by SD!

1

2

3...NO!!!

SD goes to the corner and waits for Parka to stand. SD comes out with a Mega Magical Superkick, but Parka falls over at the last second and the kick connects with the ref sending him to the outside!

COLE

The ref is out!!

COACH

I'll say. He went flying out of the ring!

SD stands shocked as Parka comes up behind him with the chair and hits him in the head as he turns around.

PARKA

How does it feel punk!?

COLE

What a sickening thud! The ref is out and Parka is taking advantage by hitting SD with a chair!

The chairshot opens a cut on SD's head as Parka picks him up into the Day of the Dead position and hits the move onto the chair!! The crowd is booing mercilessly at Parka as he stands with a cocky smile and taunts the crowd. He then pulls SD to the middle of the ring and slaps on a STF! The ref is still out, but Parka is just toying with SD.

PARKA (says in SD's ear)

It's all over now! Just go to sleep and the pain will all be over.

COLE

Parka is sadistic! Did you hear what he just said?

COACH

This very well could be all over.

Parka starts to grow frustrated with there being no ref so he releases the hold and goes outside to check on the ref. He sees that he's still out so he grabs a fan's coke and throws it in the ref's face, waking him up. Parka then grabs him and throws him into the ring! He then goes back to SD to put the STF back on, but SD rolls Parka up!

COLE

ROLL UP BY SD!!

1

2

3

COLE

NO!! Parka kicks out! The ref is counting too slow! He's still groggy.

SD gets up and waits for Parka to stand. Kick to the gut and a Mega Magical Rodeo Driver~!!! on Parka!! Cover!

COLE

Mega Magical Rodeo Driver~!! That's it!!

COACH

Mega maniacal what?!

1

2

3

COLE

No! Parka still kicks out of the slow count!

SD once again waits for Parka to stand and goes for a Mega Magical Superkick! NO! Parka catches SD's foot at the last second and spins SD around! Parka goes for a Half Nelson Suplex, but SD fights his way out and kicks Parka in the gut. SD runs to the ropes and leaps over Parka for a Mega Magical Sunset Flip, but Parka grabs SD's legs and leans forward as SD tried to bring him over.

1

2

No SD pulls Parka back into a pin!

1

2

3!!!!!!!!

COLE

SHATTERED DREAMS DID IT!!! HE'S PINNED THE PARKA!

COACH

I knew he could do it!

*DING DING DING*

RING ANNOUNCER

Here is your winner in 32:28 Shattered Dreams!!.

Welsh Lolita comes into the ring and gives SD a big hug as he celebrates! Out of the corner of his eye SD sees something being swung and pushes Lolita out of the way as a chair crashes down on his head. Parka has hit SD with a chair out of anger!

COLE

That damn Parka! What a sore loser!

Lolita screams in horror as Parka starts to wail on SD with a chair.

PK comes running down to the ring and actually pulls Parka off SD to try and calm him down. The Parka refuses to lay off, and squirts out of the grip of PK to go after SD again, and Lolita is seen waving someone in from the back.

"Connecting..." Komodo's opening notes hit and the crowd cheers as the rest of the Boogie Knights rush the ring. The Parka and PK see them coming and quickly slide out of the ring and escape through the crowd before Kotzenjunge and Max Zorin can get their hands on them. They stop for a moment to check on SD, tell Lolita to get him to the back, and then run back through the crowd after the Machines, who are being pelted from all sides by the glowsticks from the Knights' Dance Party earlier.

[Chanel #99]

COLE

And we keep things moving. Foshi vs. Paul Stanley...

CUE: Psycho Circus"

"Psycho Circus" by Kiss hits as our next match is set to begin. The crowd boos as the Starbearer makes his way down the aisle. As he does, clips of this past HeldDown's battle of the bands and the ensuing events in which the challenge for this match occured are shown.

RING ANNOUNCER

Making his way to the ring from Detroit, Michigan and weighing in at 240 lbs: The Starbearer Paul Stanley!

Stanley gets in the ring and makes his way across the ring. He requests a mic from the outside.

STANLEY

You know something? It's become very apparent that you people like to boo me.

The crowd boos even more.

STANLEY

Well, that's just fine. Boo all you want because I'm better than you and I'm better than these losers you cheer. My musical talent and my in-ring ability are unrivaled. I mean, come on. Let's just look at it from the most basic level. I am from Detroit, Michigan! The rock city! The greatest in the world! Where's that idiot Mongoose Foshi from? Japan? The only good things to ever come out of Japan are sushi and Robotech. And where are we now? Providence, Rhode Island?

YEAHHHHHHH

STANLEY

Yeah, hurrah. Let's throw a party. Rhode Island isn't even a real state. I've taken craps bigger than this place. You don't even have any real sports teams. And what wrestlers or musicians have ever come from Rhode Island? That's what I thought. I don't even want to......

COLE

I don't think anybody is going to be asking for an encore.

COACH

I don't think anybody thought this match would take place tonight.

CUE: "Alien Shore"

"Alien Shore" by Rush interrupts Stanley as Mongoose Foshi makes his way out to a nice pop. Stanley looks on from the ring.

RING ANNOUNCER

And his opponent from Japan, weighing in at 208 lbs: Mongoose Foshi!

* DING DING DING *

Mongoose quickly jets to the ring and slides in as Stanley tosses the mic aside and meets Mongoose in the middle of the ring as the music fades out. The two stare each other down and exchange words. Stanley smirks, turns away, and then quickly rears back for a cheap punch, but it's blocked by Mongoose as he hits a punch of his own and another and one more. He sets up Stanley, whips him into the ropes, and hits a spinning heel. Mongoose goes for the cover, but only gets 2. He scoops Stanley up and once again whips him into the ropes, but it's reversed.

Stanley leap frogs over Mongoose on the return, but Mongoose stops short and hits a devestating kick to the head of Stanley taking him down. He covers and again gets 2. He attempts to retrieve Stanley, but is hit with a poke to the eyes as the Starbearer rolls out of the ring to regroup. Mongoose goes after him and grabs at him from in the ring, but Stanley quickly jumps up and hits a jawbreaker through the ropes sending Mongoose down to the mat. Stanley comes in with a slingshot elbowdrop. He gets up and comes off the ropes with an arrogant strut and drops a knee across the face and gets a cover for 2. He sets up Mongoose in the corner and whips him to the turnbuckle on the far side. He runs at Mongoose and hits a leg lariat that sends Mongoose to the mat and himself to the mat on the outside. Stanley launches himself back in and onto the second rope and hits a springboard moonsault and covers for a 2 count. Stanley complains of a slow count and covers again for another 2.

COLE

Stanley complaining about the count, but it was fair.

COACH

The ref's have been on the money tonight.

Stanley picks up Mongoose and hits a scoop slam. He goes to the outside and takes his time getting to the top. He comes off with a flying splash which hits and covers, but only gets a 2. Stanley is becoming frustrated. He once again goes the outside and ascends to the top. As he is rising up on the top turnbuckle, Mongoose quickly kips up and meets Stanley coming off the top with a brutal kick to the midsection. As Stanley recovers, Mongoose bullies him into the corner with a barrage of kicks and chops. He sets Stanley up on the top rope and climbs up with him. Mongoose hits a devestating superplex and then rolls through into a fisherman's suplex and covers but Stanley manages to kick out. Mongoose stays right on him and sets him up and hits a dragon suplex but again, Stanley kicks out. Mongoose scoops Stanley and whips him into the ropes and it's reversed, but Mongoose puts on the breaks and hits a kick to the midsection and then a brainbuster. He covers, but Stanley again manages to kick out. Mongoose goes to the outside and ascends to the top, but Stanley begins to rise, so Mongoose drops down to the second rope. He waits too long as Stanley gets a shot into the midsection and brings Mongoose down with a spinebuster. He picks him up and whips him into the far corner. Stanley charges, but Mongoose shoots out with a violent kick. Stanley quickly dodges out of the way, but the ref doesn't and he is out. Mongoose goes over to the ref as Stanley heads outside and comes back with a chair. He holds it up ready to strike, but Mongoose turns in time and kicks out Stanley's leg causing him to drop the chair. Mongoose sets up Stanley, runs to the ropes, and comes off with a tornado ddt. He covers, but there is no ref to count.

COLE

The ref is down! Mongoose is looking like a lost goose trying to wake the ref.

Mongoose goes over to the ref and tries to wake him once again. Stanley has time to recover and retrieves the chair once more. He waits and nails Mongoose in the back of the head and then drops the chair. He sets up Mongoose and hits a death valley driver onto the chair before sliding it out of the ring. Stanley covers as the ref begins to come to and make the count:

COLE

Oh my!

1.....2.......3......

* DING DING DING DING *

RING ANNOUNCER

Here is your winner: The Starbearer Paul Stanley!

Stanley slides out of the ring and gloats over his victory. He raises his arms and backs slowly down the aisle as Mongoose slowly comes to. The two make eye contact as Stanley arrogantly smiles. Mongoose's face is filled with rage and clearly tells Stanley that it is not over.

COLE

Let's go backstage, with "Mean" Gene and The Purist.

The Purist is pacing back and forth, as Jim Cornette stands still next to "Mean" Gene.

"MEAN" GENE

Jim Cornette, this past Thursday on HeldDown, you made some pretty bold claims, saying--

CORNETTE

Shut up, you senile old fool! You think I don't remember what I said? Mister camerman, get a close up -- no, not of me, but my tennis racket--

"MEAN" GENE

Loaded tennis racket.

CORNETTE

It's not loaded, pops! Betty Crockett's son Jim Crockett, Jim Herd, Bob Armstrong, Jack Tunney and Gorilla Monsoon have all cried foul, as they think my tennis rackets are loaded. Well ladies, my mama gave me those rackets; I swear on the first President of the United States of America, George Washington, when I'm forced to hit somebody, it's the spirt of Mama Cornette hitt' ya, not some loaded object.

Cornette holds up racket, ZOOM IN...

PURIFIED

SANDMAN
ZSASZ
GLADIATOR
ANGLE-PLEX

CORNETTE

Angle-Plex, like I said on HeldDown, you're gonna join the club of men who've left in shame after facing The Purist. So I only have one thing to say to ya: You better get a camera and have somebody take a picture of you with the X-title, because in a matter of minutes, you're going to be back-first, looking at the cage above the ring, then you're gonna see The Purist wearing the X-title. Not even if you had Sylvester Stallone dressed as the amazing Rambo, would you have a chance. You can count on that chump!

OAOAST X-TITLE MATCH

THE PURIST VS. ANGLE-PLEX

COLE

Cornette is very confident about The Purist's chances hear tonight.

COACH

As he should be. The Purist has ran a number of men out of the OAOAST.

RING ANNOUNCER

The following contest is set for one fall, and is for the OAOAST X-title! Coming to the ring, to be introduced by his manager.

Jim Cornette enters the ring, waving his trusted tennis racket.

CORNETTE

Ladies and gentlemen, here he is, the man who has more moves than Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson and T-Mac combine -- The Purist!

The screen goes black and white as The Purist heads to the ring, crowd booing and all.

RING ANNOUNCER

And his manager...Mr. Jim Cornette!

Cornette climbs the second turnbuckle and heckles the fans.

As The Purist is about to enter the ring, he's attacked by Angle-Plex.

COACH

What the hell?!

COLE

Angle-Plex -- the champion -- has attacked The Purist.

COACH

Before the match even started! AP wasn't even introduced yet!

* DING DING DING *

AP suplexes The Purist on the ramp, then tosses him onto the arena floor before whipping him into the STEEL STEPS on the side of the ramp.

AP sends The Purist back into the ring as Jim Cornette looks like he's about to explode on the outside. AP takes time out to flex his bicep at Cornette, futher upseting the many times manager of the year.

COLE

Cornette looks like he's having flashbacks of his experiences with a banana.

AP whips Purist into the turnbuckle, sending The Purist back into the arms of AP, who delivers a belly-to-belly suplex. Jim Cornette climbs the ring apron; AP grabs Cornette by his tie, the ref tries to break it up, but as that happens, Cornette tosses his tennis-racket to The Purist. Once The Purist grabs the racket he quickly nails AP in the back with THE TENNIS RACKET!

COACH

Aw, what a big man he is. The Purist hit AP with that loaded racket.

As Cornette continues to

distract the ref, The Purist hammers AP with the racket. He then places it in the middle of the ring and picks AP up, then connects with his lastest finisher PURIFICATION (jumping piledriver) ON THE RACKET! The Purist then throws the racket to the otherside of the ring, and Cornette quickly jumps off the apron to go get the racket.

COLE

The damage is done. AP looks out of it.

The referee sees AP laying on the mat not moving, The Purist covers AP....

1....

2....

3!

COLE

Aw, man...we have a new champion.

* DING DING DING *

RING ANNOUNCER

The winner of the match in 4:49, and NEW OAOAST X-Title champion -- The Purist!

Cornette looks at the camera and says "Another one bites the dust! Haha!"

The scene goes from the antics in the ring to the backstage area, where we see TOUGH ENOUGH JOSH!~ standing beside K-Money. Money is smiling wide as he looks around, shaking his head in a cocky way.

JOSH

Guys, I'm here with the man that will be facing huge opposition tonight in Anglesault...K-Money...

The fans go nuts as Money smiles wider and nods at the camera.

JOSH

K-Money, I'd like to start off by saying you are incredibly confident going into this match later tonight...do you have a game plan?

K-Money looks at Josh oddly, then scratches his chin.

K-MONEY

Duh, genius...next question...

JOSH

Um...do you have anything that you'd like to say to Anglesault tonight?

K-MMONEY

Yes, Not Toughenough...I do

K-Money slowly takes the mic from Josh, who looks slightly nervous. Money nods a kind of "Yeah...you should be" nod and shoos him away.

K-MONEY

Go...run along...this is grown-up time...go and talk to your girlfriends about...boys...and music...and jellybeans....and stickers or whatever it is you girls talk aout these days...

Josh doesn't move.

K-MONEY

GO Nidia!

Josh hangs his head in shame as the fans laugh. Money cracks his neck and looks at the camera.

K-MONEY

Anglesault...I believe a while back...before a match with our very own Tim "Treble Charged" Moysey, you cut a rather cutting-edge interview...so...you migt recognize this...

Money clears his throat.

K-MONEY

A is for Asshole...that's exactly what you are.

N is for the Nausesnous that you cause near and far

G is for the gayness, that you bring to the ring...

L is for how lame it was, for us to hear you sing...

E is Everything, that is what you're NOT...

S is for Suck...you do that A LOT!...

A is for the Asanine, comments that you make

U is for the U-Phoria I'll feel, when I hear your neck break

L is for Lack of what you bring to the fight

and T is for the ASS-KICKING THAT YOU WILL GET...TONIGHT!

The fans erupt as K-Money tosses the mic into the air and walks away.

[Chanel #99]

COLE

The Purist is the new X-champion. You never know what will happen in the OAOAST. Backstage we go.

Anglesault is backstage with HeldDOWN backstage announcer RANDY SAVAGE~!

MACHO MAN

OOOH YEAH DIG...

ANGLESAULT

Just shut up. Now. Anyway, tonight The HEARTBREAKER, DREAMMAKER, LOVETAKER of the OAOAST faces off against the...well, whatever K-Money wants to call himself, I suppose. He can put it on his tombstone for all I care. But, you see, Money, you won't need a tombstone tonight. Yes, I'll make your life not worth living, but really, was it ever? In fact, this song fits you perfectly!

Little ditty, 'bout Jack and Diane, Two American kids growin' up in the heartland.

(The crowd boos viciously)

ANGLESAULT

Ya know what? You assholes don't deserve the whole song. I'll cut to the chase.

Oh yeah, life goes on! Long after the thrill of living is gone!

Oh yeah, life goes on! Long after the thrill of living is gone!

(AS grabs the mic away from Savage who was trying to get it back.)

ANGLESAULT (CONT'D0

K-Money, tonight I'm gonna bling-bling your ass straight to hell.

COACH

Bling-bling. Remember T-Money from Battledome?

COLE

What?

COACH

T-Money. There used to be a show called "Battledome," basically an "American Gladiators" rip-off, where a brotha named T-Money would hang out with gold, and his posse. He had tons of bling-bling.

COLE

Word. Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom, wanna come?

COACH

Sure.

Both drop their headsets.

KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE!

CUE: "Dream On"

The fans rise to their feet, filling the arena with massive boos as the curtain opens, and out walks Anglesault. He slowly makes his way down the ramp, his red, white, and blue robe flowing behind him.

HOWARD FINKEL Entering first...from New York City, New York...weighing in at Two Hundred and Twenty-Five pounds...he is a TWO TIME...OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION (!) ANGLESAULT!

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!! Three HUGE explosions go off as Anglesault climbs into the ring, taking off his robe.

CUE: "Kickstart My Heart"

A heavy guitar chord suddenly hits the PA system, and the fans are deafening. The second chord plays, and the lights flash purple along with it, gold lights doing the same with the drums...BOOM! Massive amounts of pyro suddenly go off as Nikki Sixx's voice hits the PA System, signaling the arrival of Anglesault's opponent. The curtain flies open and out walks K-Money!

HOWARD FINKEL AND HIS OPPONENT...weighing in at One hundred and 95 pounds...from Hollywood, California...Ladies and Gentlemen The SHOW STOPPER, and the NEW NWA/UPW/ZERO-ONE JR. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...this...IS...K-MONEY!

The fans are now thunderous as Money stops and smiles, doing a little dance, before walking 'boy-band'-esque towards the ring, slapping hands with the fans. He suddenly sees a beautiful girl in the crowd...it's Josie! He extends his hand to her, she takes it, and she quickly climbs over the guardrail, walking the remainder of the way to the ring with him. K-Money climbs onto the apron and sits on the second rope, allowing Josie to step seductively through. K-Money smiles wide as he climbs the turnbuckle and spreads his arms in a crucifix pose towards the crowd, right before jumping off, landing beside Josie. The two move to the middle of the ring, K-Money doing the classic HBK pose, Josie blowing kisses towards a cameraman, just before taking K-Money's jacket off of him.

The music slowly fades out as K-Money helps Josie out of the ring.

Josie starts clapping rythmically, causing the fans to do so as well. K-Money looks at AS, who stares right back.

* DING DING DING! *

The match is now underway. Money moves in cautiously to the center of the ring, Anglesault doing the same. The two slowly circle each other before meeting in a collar-and-elbow tie-up, which K-Money gets the advantage of, putting AS into a side headlock. AS tries to power out of it, but Money has it locked in tight...BAM! AS drives his elbow into the gut of Money, he groans in pain...BAM! Another elbow, another groan. Money's grip is now loosened, and AS quickly slips out, going behind Money and pulling his arm into a hammerlock. Money shrieks in pain as AS wrenches on the arm, before quickly tripping Money up, driving him to his stomach. AS quickly pulls Money's arm off of his back and locks it between his legs in an armbar! The ref drops to one knee, asking Money if he wants to end it. "NO!" Money screams as he tries to squirm out of the hold, but to no avail. Money slowly starts to get to one knee, then both...Money reaches his other arm around to AS' hands, which are gripped tightly around Money's other hand. K-Money quickly grabs AS' hands and stands, picking him up! The fans erupt, foreseeing a Money Powerbomb, but AS shifts his weight backwards, flipping Money over and out of the ring. Josie rushes to his side as the fans start clapping thunderously.

K-Money holds his arm to his chest and glares at Anglesault, who is now sitting on the middle rope, inviting K-Money back into the ring. Money quickly slides in, and is met by stomps from AS. After the third stomp, though, Money grabs AS' ankle and twists it, causing the attacker to fall to his stomach. K-Money quickly gets up and drives his knee into the back of AS' knee, just before locking in a side Ankle Lock. Anglesault screams in pain as Money wrenches the ankle, just before standing up and stomping on the back of AS' thigh. Money then quickly moves to AS' head and locks in a side crossface. Josie starts clapping wildly as Money wrenches back, causing AS' screams to turn louder. The ref once again drops to a knee, asking Anglesault if he wants to give up. AS screams a no, just before getting to a knee. He quickly starts elbowing Money in the gut again as the two stand, just before running the ropes. AS bounces off...BAM! Anglesault is dropped with a kick to the jaw, and now he rolls out of the ring! The fans erupt as K-Money moves over to the ropes and sits on the middle, inviting Anglesault in.

Josie once again starts a clapping riot from the fans as K-Money bcks up to the middle of the ring, doing the HBK pose as he waits for Anglesault to get back in the ring. A few seconds pass before he finally does, and Money starts it off with some hard stomps. Three stomps occur before Money quickly picks AS up and pushes him against the ropes, sending him in an irish whip. AS bounces off the adjacent ropes and ducks a Money clothesline. He rebounds again, just as Money jumps in the air, wrapping his legs around AS' head. Money quickly leans back, sending 'Sault across the ring with a hurrancanrana! AS clutches his back in pain as he slides out of the ring. Money smiles wide and nods at the fans, just before running towards AS. Money leaps and plants his feet onto the top rope, but Anglesault moves! Money sees this coming, and backflips off the top rope, landing in the middle of the ring. "WHOOOO!!!" Money yells, prompting the fans to do the same. Anglesault once again slowly slides in and stands, glaring at Money. The two start to circle each other before quickly locking in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. AS gets the upper-hand by pushing Money into the turnbuckle. The ref gets between them, yelling for a clean break. Anglesault slowly backs away, raising his arms...WHOO! Thunderous chop by Anglesault! WHOO! Money clutches his chest as AS smiles at the crowd...WHOO! Another chop, this one even more devastating than the last...AS winds up for a fourth chop, but Money quickly grabs him in a collar-and-elbow, turning AS around and pushing him into the corner. Once again, the ref asks for a clean break, and Money gives it...SLAP! But NOT before delivering a sickening slap to Anglesault's face! The fans are going crazy! Money quickly backs up to the center of the ring, awaiting AS' next move.

Anglesault cautiously makes his way to the center of the ring, where K-Money has his hand in a test of strength position. AS looks at it, and obliges, reluctantly locking his fingers with Money...who suddenly delivers a kick to the gut of Anglesault! AS doubles over as Money runs the ropes...BAM! Out of nowhere, AS explodes with a huge clothesline, dropping Money right onto the back of his neck! Both men are down...

1....

2....

3....

4....

Anglesault starts to slowly stir, as does K-Money. AS gets to a knee...

6....

7....

8....

AS is now on his feet, grabbing K-Money by the hair. He quickly picks Money up and whips him into the ropes. Money rebounds, and ducks an Anglesault clothesline. AS turns quickly...WHAM! A HUGE SUPERKICK CONNECTS! Anglesault flies back, falling through the bottom and middle ropes to the outside! The fans are on their feet as Money runs to the turnbuckle closest to AS and jumps to the the top rope. Anglesault is now standing...and MONEY CONNECTS WITH CORKSCREW CROSSBODY!! The fans erupt as both men are now out on the floor!

Josie covers her mouth as a small box appears in the upper right hand corner of the screen, replaying the Corkscrew Crossbody a few times before going away. The two slowly start to stir, but it is K-Money who gets to his feet first. Money slowly picks up Anglesault and rolls him back in the ring, where we get the first cover of the match

1!....

2!!....

ThNO!

The fans groan along with K-Money, who glares at the ref, before doing a come here motion with his finger. The ref slaps his hand twice, then moves his shoulder, showing that AS kicked out. Money slowly shakes his head before getting to a standing position, grabbing AS' head. WHAM! The fans groan as Money clutches his groin, courtesy of an Anglesault low blow. AS suddenly springs to his feet and wraps his arms around Money's waist, before tossing him through the air. HUGE BELLY-TO-BELLY OVERHEAD SUPLEX! Money clutches the back of his neck as he squirms in pain. Anglesault quicly goes for the cover!

1!...

2!!...

THNO!! Money gets the shoulder up! Josie puts her hand over her heart and lets out a big breath as Anglesault stands up and starts walking towards the ref, before shaking his head. He slowly walks towards Money, who is starting to get up, and grabs him by the head, picking him up. Anglesault quickly whips Money towards the turnbuckle, where he connect chest first. Money lets out a loud grunt as he stumbles back...RIGHT INTO AN ANGLESAULT GERMAN SUPLEX! The fans writh as Money bounces off of his neck and lays face first on the mat, his leg spasming uncontrollably.

Anglesault smiles a cocky grin towards the fans, before crawling towards K-Money. AS covers arrogantly...

1!...

2!!

3!!! NO!! Money somehow got the shoulder up! Anglesault's eyes go wide as he sees the ref's two fingers raised. AS quickly stands and pushes the ref, raising three fingers.

The ref PUSHES BACK!, raising two fingers! AS looks at the crowd, almost shocked that the ref touched him. In a fit of rage, AS grabs the ref by the collar and pulls his fist back...but, instead gets rolled up by K-Money! The ref counts!

1!

2!!

Th!NO!!! AS quickly stands and starts stomping Money viciously. Fed up, AS picks Money up and whips him into the closest turnbuckle, where he hits with a huge thud. AS backs up to the center of the ring, and charges...and he meets nothing but turnbuckle! AS clutches his chest and turns so his back is on the turnbuckle. K-Money leans in the opposite corner, catching his breath. "FUCK IT UUUUP!" Money yells, getting a tremendous ovation from the crowd. Money dashes towards AS, leaps, and plants his feet square into his chest, before backflipping off and landing in the middle of the ring. DR. SMOOTH'S SECRET RECIPE! "WHOO-HOO, BA-BAY!" The fans erupt with applause as Money raises a finger, signaling for one more. Money backs into the opposite corner as Josie starts clapping slowly, the fans following her lead. K-Money rears his head back, and screams "FUCK IT UUUUP!", the fans screaming along with him! Money charges, leaps, and once again places his feet onto AS' chest, but 'Sault quickly grabs an ankle as Money backflips! AS flips Money onto his stomach! SCREAMS OF NO REPLY!! Money screams in pain as AS stands completely, wrenching the ankle! Josie screams in terror as Money tries to crawl for the ropes, but to no avail! AS turns and drags Money into the center of the ring! K-MONEY HAS NOWHERE TO GO! Money slowly lifts himself, trying to move towards the ropes, but AS has it locked in too tight! Money screams...then rolls under himself, dragging Anglesault down onto his stomach! Money grabs an ankle...SCREAMS OF NO REPLY BY K-MONEY!! The fans erupt as Money wrenches AS' ankle, causing the former champion to scream in pain! However, AS knows the move too well, and with a simple twist of his body, he reverses it! BAM! AS drives his boot into the face of Money, causing the young gun to let go. AS quickly pulls himself up in the turnbuckle as Money clutches his face! Seeing his opportunity, Money rushes towards AS, grabbing him by the head in a 2/3 Neck Lock. Money runs up turnbuckle...could we see the Sliced Bread #3!?! AS quickly moves his arm in the right position and turns the opposite way...ANGLE SLAM!! Josie jumps and screams, trying to get Money to wake up, but it's no use...AS slowly covers!

1!!

2!!!

3!!!!NO!!!!!

Anglesault's face gets an immensely disappointed look on it, almost as if he's crying. The fans, however, are not. They are on their feet, giving a thunderous applause to K-Money for kicking out. AS suddenly stands, an aggravated look on his face. "I'M SICK OF THIS!" he yells, and signals for the SaltSault! The fans rise with each step that AS takes up the turnbuckle. He stands upright on the top and leaps off, delivering a picture perfect SaltSault....CRASH!! He hits nothing but mat! Money rolled out of the way! The force of the impact causes AS to get to his feet, clutching his stomach and groaning. In a surge of adrenaline, Money stands and grabs AS' head, once again in a 2/3 Neck Lock position! Money runs up the turnbuckle, turns...SLICED BREAD #3!!! The fans erupt as Money quickly covers, hooking a leg!

1!!!!

2!!!!!

3!!!!!!

The fans erupt as Money rolls off of AS, "Kickstart My Heart hitting the PA system! But the referee is waving off the pin. Josie quickly climbs into the ring and runs over to Money, who is leaning against the bottom rope, almost in tears. Josie kisses him passionately as Finkel stands.

FINKEL

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! YOUR WINNER...THE SHOWSTOPPA -- K-MONEY!

COLE

We're back fans. Coach & I were watching in the bathroom what was going on, and AS had his shoulder up at 2; that's why the ref is waving off the pin.

COACH

Money doesn't know it either. He thinks he won.

The fans go wild as Money slowly stands, a look of happiness and shock on his face. The ref grabs his wrist and quickly raises it, causing the fans cheers to from thunderous to deafening. Josie hands Money his NWA/UPW/Zero-One Jr. Heavyweight Title, prompting him to raise it high above his head. Money slowly drops to his knees...AS sneaks up from behind and PINS Money with an OKLAHOMA ROLL!

FINK

Ladies and gentlmen, the decision has been reversed as Anglesault had his shoulder up at 2. You're winner...Anglesault!

AS picks up Money and ANGLE SLAMS HIM OUT OF THE RING!

The fans boo as AS slides out of the ring and walks angrily up the ramp.

COLE

The fans are booing, but AS wasn't pinned.

Well, we're going to send it back to JR & Jesse after the Some Guy Superstart Cage match for the main event. For the Coach -- I'm Michael Cole. We'll see you Thursday on HeldDown.

COACH

Peace!

[Chanel #99]

STEEL CAGE MATCH

THE SUPERSTAR vs. SOME GUY

RING ANNOUNCER

The following contest, is the STEEEL CAGE match! The match can be won by pinfall or submission only.

COLE

What a night it's been so far at Living Angleously, but Coach, are you ready for this?

COACH

You bet your ASS I'm ready, Cole. Superstar and Some Guy, one on one, inside the confines of a steel cage.

COLE

Don't be fooled. Just because it isn't a chain-mesh cage, doesn't mean it isn't dangerous. Those black bars are brutal.

CUE: "Sexy Boy"

RING ANNOUNCER

Ladies and gentlemen, making his way to the ring, from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 225 lbs, SOOOME GUYYYYY~!

The crowd goes INSANE as Some Guy dances out of the curtain, and all the way to ringside. From the outside, he shakes the cage, and climbs up to the top, where he poses. The crowd cheers wildly and holds up signs. He climbs down the cage inside of the ring and does one more pose as pyro SHOOTS off.

CUE: "Heart-Shaped Box"

RING ANNOUNCER

On his way to the ring, from Naples, Florida, he weighs in at 230 lbs, he is THE SUPERSTAR!

The crowd goes from wild cheering to hateful jeering as The Superstar walks through the curtain. He has an extremely determined, almost somber look in his eyes as he slowly approaches the cage. Like Some Guy, he shakes the cage before carefully entering the ring through the cage door.

COACH

Rumor has it that this may very well be The Superstar's LAST match in the OAOAST!

COLE

If it is, let's just hope these guys put on a hell of a performance and that Superstar goes out with a bang.

COACH

Literally.

*DING DING DING*

Both men stare a hole in each other from opposite sides of the ring, until Some Guy stalks to the middle of the ring, and motions to Superstar to do the same. SS walks forward, but LUNGES into Some Guy with a right hand, and the two immediately begin going at it, throwing the hardest punches they can! Superstar ducks a wild punch by Some Guy and hooks him up for a vertical suplex, but Some Guy drops behind Superstar, and grabs him for a Reverse Some-DT, but Superstar elbows out of THAT, and runs at SG but gets caught in an SOMEDRAG which finally takes him down.

COLE

No one here has the clear upper-hand during the early stages of this cage match!

COACH

Speaking of cage, c'mon guys, USE IT! I WANT VIOLENCE!

Some Guy works an armbar, but Superstar quickly escapes and throws Some Guy over his shoulder in a type of Judo-throw. He hooks SG in a chinlock, but SG fights it, rises to his feet, and drops back down, as Superstar's chin crashes into the head of Some Guy. SS is dazed, as Some Guy runs to the ropes, and attempts a SOMELINE, but Superstar ducks, grabs his head, and sends him RIGHT into the cage, face-first!

COACH

YEAH! That's what I want to see!

COLE

Some Guy's nose may be BROKEN after that!

Some Guy staggers back from hitting the cage, and Superstar hooks him up, brings him into the air, and drops him down on his NECK in a beautiful high-angle back suplex! With SG down stomach-first, Superstar runs into the ropes and jumps high into the air, crashing down with his knee across the neck of Some Guy! Superstar forcefully brings SG to his feet, hooks him in reverse DDT position, but instead sends him up and drops him down with an inverted suplex!

COLE

And RIGHT AWAY you can see that the focus for The Superstar in this match is the neck of Some Guy.

COACH

Oh yeah! You think we'll see the Fall from Heaven tonight? From the TOP of the CAGE?!

COLE

Don't give him ideas.

With Some Guy on the ground, Superstar latches in a front face lock. The crowd begins to clap in rhythm to revitalize SG, and he starts feeding off of the crowd. Superstar tries to fight it, but SG makes it to his feet and begins to land in punches and elbows to the midsection of SS, and using all the force he can muster, Some Guy charges and pushes Superstar back-first into the steel cage! With Superstar weakened, Some Guy drops back and brings SS over with a Northern Lights Some-plex! The referee drops into position!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!!!!

COACH

OH MY GOD! That was a close call for The Superstar.

COLE

I'm sure he didn't expect that from Some Guy, to just come back like that.

Caught off guard with the surprise suplex, Superstar hustles to his feet and runs at Some Guy with a clothesline, but Some Guy ducks, runs off the opposite ropes, and catches Superstar with a Neckbreaker Some-drop! He waits for Superstar to hurry to his feet, and SG catches him with a Someline! This time, Superstar is slower to reach his feet, but once he does, Some Guy runs to the ropes behind SS, and nails him with a Somedog! Some Guy quickly lands on Superstar with a lateral press!

ONE!

TWO~!

NO~!!!!!!

COLE

Quite the flurry of offense there by Some Guy!

COACH

I've missed seeing this flamboyant guy in the ring.

Some Guy brings Superstar to his feet, but SS drops to his knees and lands a big low blow on SG! Some Guy doubles over in pain, and Superstar shocks him with some knife-edge chops. He brings SG into the corner and begins to pound on him with punch after punch, and he then brings him out of the corner, right into a SNAP suplex! Superstar floats over right into a pin attempt!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT~!

COLE

What a back and forth match this is!

COACH

For REAL! I thought Some Guy had the advantage, but Superstar shows us just how tenacious he is.

Some Guy quickly gets to his feet again, blocks a Superstar punch, and begins firing off shots of his own, including a few Some-edge chops! However, Superstar catches him with a knee to the midsection, grabs him by the head, and sends him FACE FIRST once again into the cage! However, with a burst of energy, Some Guy NO SELLS this, stares a shocked Superstar right in the eye, smiles, and grabs SUPERSTAR by the head, and he sends him into the CAGE! AND AGAIN! AND A *THIRD* TIME! Superstar just falls flat on his back to the mat, and Some Guy grabs the legs of SS and brings them over into a Some-bridge!

ONE~!

TWO~!

NO!!!!!

COACH

Superstar got NO POBO'D, and ended up getting his ASS KICKED as a result! I LOVE IT!

Superstar slowly gets up, with help from the ropes, and Some Guy, seeing this, runs off the opposite ropes, and hits Superstar with a knee to the back of the head, which sends him into the cage once again, and staggers back into a RELEASE GERMAN SOME-PLEX! Without missing a beat, Some Guy grabs Superstar by the legs and sends him AGAIN into the cage, with a CATAPULT!

COLE

Would you look at that? Superstar is BUSTED OPEN!

COACH

BLOOD! YES! FINALLY!

Indeed, Superstar has quite the flow of blood on the top of his head, as Some Guy drops a Some-elbow drop onto his sternum. He covers SS, but this pinfall gets reversed into a small package by Superstar, with a hold of the tights!

ONE~!

TWO~!

THR-KICKOUT~!!!!!!!

COLE

YES! Superstar tried to steal one, but Some Guy was able to escape the predicament!

Both men reach their feet at roughly the same time, and Superstar extends his leg out, catching Some Guy in the face with a big boot! This sends him bouncing off the ropes, right into a NECKBREAKER by The Superstar! Superstar picks up SG, but immediately drops him back to the canvas with a sickening DDT!

COLE

You think Superstar forgot about working on the neck of Some Guy?

COACH

Hell no he didn't, and this may get even uglier within the next couple of minutes.

Superstar utilizes a blatant choke on Some Guy, and then picks him up off the mat by the throat, and sends the back of Some Guy's head RIGHT into the cage! AND AGAIN! Superstar turns Some Guy around, and DROPS him with a HALF-NELSON SUPLEX, with a bridge!

ONE!!

TWO~!!!!

THRE-NO~!!!!!!!!!

COLE

My GOD this is sick! You were right when you said this would get uglier!

COACH

And LOOK! Now SOME GUY is busted open, too! This is going to turn into a bloodbath before it's over.

Noticing the blood on the forehead of Some Guy, Superstar picks him up and brings him to the side of the cage…and begins GRINDING THE FOREHEAD AGAINST THE METAL BARS OF THE CAGE~! As Some Guy tries to recover in the corner, Superstar stares at him with a sadistic smile. He brings SG to his feet, and puts him in a front face lock, and brings his arm over his head, lifting him up for a BRAINBUSTER…but Some Guy drops out, grabs Superstar, and gives him a WHEELBARROW SOME-PLEX! AND ANOTHER! AND THE THIRD!

COLE

YES! YES! THE ROLLING WHEELBARROW SOME-PLEXES! Do NOT count Some Guy out yet!

COACH

This match is AMAZING in both its brutality and the wrestling ability shown by both men!

COLE

WAIT! Some Guy is in the corner…YES! He's TUNING UP THE BAND!

COACH

Superstar could have a Some Kick on the way!

Superstar staggers to his feet, and Some Guy flies out of the corner with the Some Kick, but NO! Superstar grabs the foot, turns SG around, and scoops him up onto his shoulder, and sends him HEADFIRST into the cage! He then puts his head down, and has him set up in position for the STAR POWER DRIVER…but NO! Some Guy drops out of this position, kicks Superstar in the midsection, and puts his head between his legs. He lifts him up, and drops HIM head-first onto the canvas!

COLE

SOME DRIVER~! SOME DRIVER~!

Some Guy soaks in the adulation of the fans, and then, noticing Superstar down and out on the canvas, he begins to slowly scale the cage!

COACH

What the hell is Some Guy doing? You can't win the match by escaping the cage!

COLE

I think he may be doing something that he ALWAYS wants to do- give the fans their money's worth.

COACH

…and be a big show-off in the process.

Some Guy, rung by rung, climbs up the cage wall, until he's at the very top of the cage. He turns around, and glances down at Superstar, 15-feet below. He then looks at the fans, which are going absolutely crazy at this point. He acknowledges them, and then points at Superstar. Then, without hesitation, Some Guy DIVES OFF THE CAGE WITH A SOME SPLASH…BUT SUPERSTAR ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY~!!!! SOME GUY FALLS 15 FEET AND LANDS ON HIS STOMACH!

COLE

OH MY GOD! SOME GUY'S RIBS MAY BE DESTROYED!

COACH

Sometimes pleasing the fans just isn't worth the risk.

Superstar grabs Some Guy by the head and hastily brings him to his feet, sets him up in Fisherman's Suplex position…and DROPS HIM WITH THE STAR POWER~!!! SS floats into a cover, hooking both legs!

ONE~!!!!

TWO~!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE-NO~!

KICKOUT~!!!!!!!!!

COACH

UNBELIEVABLE!

Superstar motions backstage for something, and then clasps the resilient Some Guy into the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER~! Some Guy's eyes flutter shut, and it looks like he's out cold. Superstar tries to ensure this by wrapping his legs around the midsection, in a body scissors. With this double submission, SG fades quickly, and the ref checks for the submission.

THE ARM DROPS ONCE!

THE ARM DROPS TWICE~!

THE ARM DROPS THRICE~!

NO~!!!!!!! Some Guy's arm doesn't touch the canvas, and he begins feeding off of the adrenaline of the crowd, who are getting behind him with a loud "Some Guy!" chant! He begins fighting the hold, and rises to a knee! Superstar stops the alleged-momentum shift by dropping Some Guy to the mat on the back of his head, and then we see what Superstar was motioning for!

COLE

ANGLESAULT~! Superstar's Un-Stablemate, Anglesault, is running to ringside with a steel chair!

COACH

I thought the cage was to PREVENT interference from the damn Un-Stable!

Sault reaches ringside, and he slides the chair under the cage door to The Superstar! The referee on the outside of the ring tries to send him backstage, but Anglesault ignores him. This is until K-MONEY RUNS TO RINGSIDE~! K LUNGES at Anglesault with punches and a clothesline over the ring barrier! The two continue to brawl all the way until they are out of sight.

COLE

But the more important matter here is that Superstar has the steel chair that Anglesault brought with him, and Some Guy will be at his mercy!

With a sadistic smile and blood soaking his face, Superstar raises the chair above his head to bring down on the still-grounded Some Guy, but SG hits a shot to the midsection on SS, which causes him to drop the chair! Some Guy continues to rally with punches to the face of Superstar, and with SS dazed, SG runs off the ropes, and nails Superstar with a SPEAR~! Some Guy, eying the chair, grabs it as the fans go crazy knowing what's next!

COLE

OH YEAH~! It's time for Some Guy to get some revenge!

COACH

PAYBACK'S A BITCH~!

Once Superstar gets to his feet, he sees SG holding the chair and begins to beg off! Some Guy ignores this plea, and takes a MIGHTY SWING…but Superstar ducks! Some Guy sees this coming and quickly turns around, and he tosses the chair in Superstar's face! Superstar, instinctively, catches the chair, and Some Guy nails him with THE SOME-DAMINATOR~!!!!!!

COLE

WHAT A MANUEVER!

Some Guy quickly hooks a leg and pins the fallen Superstar!

ONE!!!

TWO~!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREEE~~!!!!!!!!!!

NO!!!! Superstar shoots his shoulder up at the VERY LAST SECOND!

Some Guy is shocked, but he picks Superstar up and puts his head between his legs for the SOME BOMB! NO, wait, Superstar backdrops out! He picks SG up and whips him into the ropes, but Some Guy nails him with a FLYING FOREARM SMASH! Superstar tries to quickly regain his composure and get to his feet, but Some Guy is waiting for him, and he jumps onto his shoulders for the SOMECANRANA~!! NO, SUPERSTAR REVERSES INTO A POWERBOMB, and SOME GUY IS DROPPED RIGHT ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK~!!!

COACH

OH MY GOD~! That's SICK!

COLE

As Some Guy's neck gets weaker and weaker, Superstar's work on it will just be even more vicious.

Superstar doesn't even go for the pin, and he instead scoops Some Guy up onto his shoulder, and nails the STAR POWER DRIVER~!!!!

COLE

TOMBSTONE! Two moves that can DIRECTLY impact the neck in a ROW!

COACH

I hate to say it, but Superstar has Some Guy BEAT after that Star Power Driver.

COLE

But wait, where's Superstar going? He's CLIMBING UP THE CAGE!

COACH

I think he wants to show Some Guy that HE can come off the top better than him!

COLE

But what could he be going for? Oh my God, wait…

Superstar signals for a move he hasn't attempted in 3 months…and COMES OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE WITH THE SUPERSPLASH~!!!!! NO!! SOME GUY MOVED OUT OF THE WAY~!!!!! We have a double knockout in the middle of the ring as the fans are going RABID with a "Some Guy!" chant. Some Guy begins to stir first, and he crawls to the corner to help himself up. Superstar looks completely out of it, but he slowly climbs up the ropes to reach his feet. Some Guy is standing in the corner, and begins stomping his foot!

COLE

Oh, IT'S TIME~!

Superstar walks towards Some Guy, and Some Guy bursts out of the corner…SOME KICK~! SOME KICK~! SOME KICK~!!!!!! Some Guy falls to the mat next to Superstar, but begins to crawl over, and he hooks a leg for the pin attempt, and the crowd chants with every referee hand slap on the mat!

ONE~!!!!!!!!!!

TWO~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREEEE~!!!!!!!!!

NO~!!!! Superstar once AGAIN shoots his shoulder up at the very last millisecond!

COLE

Coach, can you BELIEVE THIS?!

COACH

What the HELL!? I can't believe the Some Kick didn't put The Superstar down and out! What resiliency by these two men! Unbelievable!

Some Guy sees Superstar down again, looks to the corner of the cage, and, hearing the reaction of the crowd, begins slowly scaling the cage wall one more time! Unbeknownst to him, though, is the fact that slowly, The Superstar follows him up the cage! Once Some Guy reaches the very top of the cage, Superstar hits him with a LOW BLOW~! Superstar turns Some Guy around, and sits him on the top of the cage, laying in some stiff punches afterward.

COLE

Oh my…Coach, you don't think…

COACH

I TOLD YOU, COLE! The Superstar is going to give Some Guy the FALL FROM HEAVEN from the VERY TOP OF THE CAGE~!

Superstar stands Some Guy on the top of the cage wall, and brings him up in the air…but SOME GUY DROPS OUT, lands a few rungs below The Superstar, and turns around so he's facing him! He returns one of the favors to SS by giving him a low blow, and then puts Superstar on his shoulders…

COACH

NO WAY. You think he would do this?

COLE

I KNOW he'll do this.

Some Guy, standing on one very top rungs of the cage, LEAPS OFF, WITH A SITOUT SUPER SOME-BOMB FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE~!!!!!

COACH & COLE

OH MY GOD~!!!!!!

The crowd is speechless, but immediately breaks into chants of "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

COACH

I couldn't agree more! UNBELIEVABLE!

COLE

But will Some Guy be able to make the cover? YES, HE DOES!

Some Guy valiantly hooks both legs of The Superstar, as the referee leaps into position to count the pinfall:

ONE~!!!!!!!!!!

TWO~!!!!!!!!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!!!!!

*DING DING DING*

The crowd ERUPTS into cheers as the bell is rung, and "Sexy Boy" blasts out of the speakers.

RING ANNOUNCER

Laaaadies and gentlemen, THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, in 28:59...SOOOOOME GUYYYYYY~!

Neither man is responsive, but once the referee raises the hand of Some Guy, it gives him new life, as he jumps to his feet much to the delight of the crowd! He begins dancing and posing as confetti falls from the rafters to celebrate the return victory of the OAOAST legend.

COLE

What a match that was. The fans were on their feet for each and every second of it, and they weren't disappointed.

COACH

I don't think I've EVER seen a match quite like that. Truly amazing.

The Superstar slowly, slowly gets to his feet with the help of the ropes, and stands behind Some Guy, who's posing to the fans. The crowd begins to boo, and Some Guy turns around. The two men are nose to nose, the blood on their faces almost mixing. And then, Some Guy extends his hand. Superstar stares at Some Guy, the crowd, the cage, the ceiling, backstage, and back at Some Guy. With tears in his eyes…

The Superstar hugs Some Guy. The crowd bursts into cheers as the two men who just waged war with each other embrace in the ring. Fireworks shoot off from the turnbuckles as the fans soak in this emotional moment. Superstar takes the hand of Some Guy and raises it. The cage is raised, and Superstar exits the ring, allowing Some Guy to celebrate. However, as Superstar slowly walks up the aisle, he turns around, with tears in his eyes, and raises his arm one more time before heading backstage.

[Chanel #99]

COACH

I'm still in awe at what those two warriors did here tonight. As Some Guy heads to the lockerroom, we hope Michael Cole can get a word with him. But first, let's go backstage to "Mean" Gene.

We cut to The Purist's lockerroom, where a business-like atomsphere is present.

"MEAN" GENE

Jim Cornette, you said it, and I didn't believe it, but you were right. How come you aren't celebrating?

CORNETTE

It's a bitter-sweet moment for The Purist, Gene. You see, from day one, The Purist has entered the OAOAST with the goal of becoming the OAOAST champion. But past and present OAOAST champions have tried to duck to NEW X-champion, especially that Peter Engel star wannabe Zack Malibu. This goes to the winner of Evenflow/Zack; The Purist is challenges the winners, let's see if anybody has the boys to take us up on the offer. We've waited too long for a shot.

"MEAN" GENE

There you have it. The Purist wants a OAOAST title shot, but who doesn't. Let's send it over to Michael Cole, standing by with Some Guy.

Some Guy is seen walking backstage towards his locker room after his grueling bout with Superstar. Michael Cole catches up to Some Guy.

COLE

Some words on the match?

SOME GUY

Like I had said before....

WHACK. A Steel Chair slams into the small of Some Guy's back, forcing the man down onto both knees. His attacker, clad in black but facing away from the camera, slowly pulls Some Guy back up.... SYNCHRONICITY onto the CHAIR!

Some Guy lands with a sickening thud, a crack of metal or bone piercing the sounds of the arena. Cole stands there...agast

Stephen Joseph

Like I said, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. No one messes up my reputation.

Stephen pauses and looks at Cole, stalking him up against the wall

SJ

It could be you next time Cole. By the way, didn't Some Guy have a bad back before...

SJ looks down at Some Guy, laid out on the floow.

SJ

Gee, I umm, hope I didn't hurt it. [/sarcasm] Gotta run ColeSlaw, one last thing to do tonight...Got a promise to keep, gotta go back up my bud.

[Chanel #99]

A hush falls over the crowd, as the lights dim. A few seconds later, "As Heaven Is Wide" begins playing, and the combined reaction from the crowd sounds like one thunderous boo, as EvenflowDDT makes his way out. 'Flow walks to the ring with a confident swagger, not phased by the pro-Zack crowd here in Providence. Evenflow gets in the ring and taunts the fans with his arrogant posing.

'Flow's theme fades out, and a spotlight shines on the stage area next to the ramp. A group of people, four men and a woman, walk up the stairs and onto the stage. One of the men takes a mic.

What's up Providence!

Loud cheers from the Rhode Island crowd.

My name is Paul McCoy, and I'm from a band called 12 Stones. Tonight, I'm here as a special guest of the World Heavyweight Champion, ZACK MALIBU...

Another large cheer.

And so are these people, the hottest band on the charts today...EVANESCENCE! We've got Rocky Gray on the drums, Ben Moody on lead guitar, John LeCompt on guitar, and the lovely Miss Amy Lee on vocals!

Yet another large cheer.

So, Providence...let us BRING YOU TO LIFE!

The familiar piano keys fill the arena with the melodic opening of the hit song. The crowd cheers upon hearing it, and quiets down as Amy begins the vocal portion.

How can you see into my eyes, like open doors

Leading you down into my core, where

I've become so numb

Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead...it...back...home."

BOOM~!

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

As the song plays, Zack Malibu and Alison come out onto the stage, in more of a frenzy than usual. The hometown crowd goes crazy for Zack, as this is his homecoming. Evanescence seemingly plays louder, trying to outdo the cheers Zack and themselves are getting.

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

Zack and Alison make their way over to the stage, and climb up the stairs, walking on while the band continues the set.

Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real

Bring me to life

Zack raises his belt up high, as pyro goes off again, this time on each side of the stage. Zack poses for the crowd, while Paul McCoy bounces about the stage, getting the crowd into the song.

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life

(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)

Bring me to life

Zack and Alison head down the stairs and walk down the aisle. Evenflow gives them the evil eye, as he paces the ring, waiting for his former friend.

Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling

Only you are the life among the dead

Zack and Alison get to ringside, and look up at Evenflow. The two whisper something in each other's ear, as onstage, Amy and Paul stand face to face, singing their duet

All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything

Without a thought without a voice without a soul

Don't let me die here

There must be something more

BRING...ME...TO...LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!

Zack and Alison stand tall in the ring, as pyro rains out from all four corners, showering them, as well as the referee and Evenflow, with pyro.

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)

I've been living a lie, THERE'S NOTHING INSIDE!

Bring me TO LIFE!

The song ends, and the crowd goes wild! The band waves to the crowd, as they exit the stage. The camera cuts back to the ring, where Zack stands on one side with Alison, Evenflow on the other. Alison gently rubs Zack's back,and then exits. Once she does, the two men come close to the center of the ring, engaged in a staredown. Zack hands the World Title to the referee, not taking his eyes off of Evenflow for a second. The referee raises the belt in the air, signalling that this is a title match, and calls for the bell.

Neither man flinches, nor blinks. The crowd starts a loud Zack chant, which seems to get to Evenflow. We see him trash talking Zack, but can't hear it, as it's too soft. Finally, the tension comes to a head and Evenflow slaps the taste out of Zack's mouth! Evenflow grabs Zack by the jaw, and starts mouthing off at him, then lets go and swings with a wild punch, but Zack ducks it, then responds with right hands of his own! Zack nails Evenflow once, twice, then pauses a la The Rock before sending him flying over the top with a third shot! Evenflow tumbles over, but lands on his feet, and wanders around in a daze, with Zack headed out right behind him.

Zack grabs Evenflow by the hair and spins him around, then punches him again, this time sending Evenflow to the floor. Evenflow scurries to his feet, backing up away from Zack. Zack charges forward, and clotheslines Evenflow over the guardrail and onto the front row fans!

The referee jumps to the floor, and urges Zack to get back in the ring. Zack simply brushes by him, and grabs Evenflow by the hair, flipping him over the guardrail and back onto the concrete. Zack stands above him, and the referee is literally begging him to return to the ring, before this gets out of hand in the early goings.

JR

Zack Malibu has held it in long enough...just let them go, ref!

JESSE

But is that really wise, JR? Zack is a great worker, technically sound. Does he really want to get into a brawl with a man who's had light tubes shattered on his back at one time?"

Zack climbs back into the ring, while Evenflow pulls himself up. Enraged, Evenflow turns around and slides into the ring, going right after Zack! The two trade punches, firing off shot after shot and taking in every blow. Before Zack can hit him again, however, Evenflow gouges his eyes, then tosses Zack over with a release belly to belly suplex! Evenflow gets up, smirking, and flashes three fingers in the air, and then in Zack's face!

JR

What on earth...

JESSE

Don't you get it JR? A belly to belly suplex, three fingers...he's mocking Shane Douglas, one of Zack's idols!

Evenflow puts the boots to Zack, dropping the heel of his boot on Zack's shoulder blades several times. He reaches down to pick Zack up, and Zack reaches up and grabs his head, rolling him up into a small package...Not even close! Evenflow EASILY kicks out, but the mere attempt at trying to end this one early has incensed him! He comes at Zack again, but Zack ducks and swings his feet out, sweep kicking Evenflow to the mat! Zack then climbs atop Evenflow, pinning his shoulders down and hammering away with more punches to his forehead. Zack gets up, and waves Evenflow on. As Evenflow gets up Zack bounces off the ropes, runs to the other side, then leaps up, soaring through the air and knocking Evenflow out of his boots with a flying clothesline! Zack powerwalks around the ring, waving his arms up and working the crowd, while Evenflow rolls on the mat.

Zack crouches in the corner, waiting for Evenflow to make it up to his feet. When he does, Zack comes at him, and the two actually lock up for the first time in this match! They both jockey for position, forcing each other back a few steps, until Evenflow grabs a headlock. He's immediately shoved off, into the ropes,and comes off with a shoulderblock that takes Zack down. Evenflow decides to run the ropes, hops over Zack and runs to the other side. As he comes off the other side, Zack ducks for a back body drop, but Evenflow stops short, and hooks Zack in a front facelock. He lifts him for a suplex, but walks forward, and drops Zack stomach first on the top rope! Evenflow lets him hang there for a minute, then grabs Zack by the head and throws him toward the mat, so that the weight shift flips him back into the ring. As Zack lay there, holding his stomach, Evenflow grabs his legs, then catapults him so that his throat hits the bottom rope! Zack starts coughing loudly, as Evenflow is pushed back by the ref.

JESSE

Excellent strategy by Evenflow! First, he took the wind out of Zack's sails when he dropped him on the top, and now he's preventing that second wind from getting in by choking Zack with the bottom rope!

JR

That's blatant shortcutting!

JESSE

Like I said...excellent strategy!

Evenflow pulls Zack out from under the ropes, setting him up near the turnbuckle. Evenflow props himself up on the second rope, and comes off with an elbow a la Bret Hart, nailing Zack in the sternum. Evenflow covers without hooking the leg...Just a 2 Count!

Evenflow pulls Zack up,and grabs his jaw with his right hand. He teases Zack, yelling at him while shaking Zack's own head, and backs him into the corner. He smacks Zack in the chest with a sick chop that has everybody reeling, and then grabs Zack and talks more smack. Evenflow grabs Zack by the left arm and whips him to the opposite side, sending Zack crashing into the corner hard,and follows it up with a running knee that again knocks the wind out of Zack! Malibu hunches over, but Evenflow stands him up, then climbs to the second rope and starts punching at Zack's forehead. After a few shots, Zack grabs Evenflow by the legs, walks forward a bit, and then drops him with an inverted atomic drop, then follows up IMMEDIATELY with a lariat that floors him! Zack caught Evenflow by surprise, and now has a chance to recover!

Zack backs up into the corner, still struggling a bit for air. Alison comes over and he audibly mentions he's OK to her. Zack pulls himself to his feet as soon as he sees Evenflow getting up,and when 'Flow turns, he's met with a Thesz Press that takes him back down! After firing off even more shots, Zack gets thrown off by Evenflow. 'Flow comes at him, but Zack takes him down with a drop toehold, then grabs a headlock on Evenflow. They both get up, Evenflow locked in the hold, until he slips out and locks on a full nelson on Zack. Zack squirms a bit, and is able to break free, seguing into a waistlock...Evenflow kicks back, catching Zack low! As Malibu keels over, Evenflow runs the ropes, and comes off with a swinging neckbreaker on Zack! He grabs the leg...COVER...2 Count!

Evenflow sits up, on his knees,and lets out a sigh. He pulls Zack up off the mat, grabbing him in a facelock, turning him around to drop him with another neck...NO! Zack counters...RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Evenflow folds up like an accordion, and actually rolls backwards, so that he's face down on the canvas!

Zack rolls over and pops up to his feet, now standing tall above Evenflow. He picks him up, and hooks both of his arms, then carries him over with a butterfly suplex...and HOLDS ON! ROLLING BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! Zack rolls to his feet a third time, but this time Evenflow uses his arms to grab Zack by the legs, lift him up, and hotshot him onto the top turnbuckle! Zack staggers into Evenflow's grip again, and 'Flow picks him up and puts him onto the top rope. Evenflow decks Zack for good measure, making sure he's not going anywhere, and climbs up after him. He lifts Zack for a superplex, but Zack hangs on. Evenflow tries again, same result. Evenflow pounds on Zack's shoulderblades, trying to wear him out, but Zack grabs Evenflow by the leg and throws him outward, so that he flapjacks down onto the mat! Zack takes a second to recover, and starts to stand up just as Evenflow pushes himself off the mat. With Evenflow hunched over, Zack jumps off the top rope...FLYING FAMOUSER~! EVENFLOW'S HEAD BOUNCED OFF THE MAT! Zack rolls over onto him for the cover!

1!

2!!

KICKOUT! EVENFLOW KICKED OUT!

Zack rolls onto his back, laying in the ring to relax for a second. He gets up off the mat, as Evenflow barely moves, still dazed from the impact of that last move. He again goes to pick Evenflow up, but this time gets caught with a lowblow from his ex-best friend, then gets Dragon Screwed to the mat...its' the DIRTY FRANK...NO! ZACK BLOCKS THE SECOND LEG WHIP WITH AN ENZUGI...NO! EVENFLOW DUCKED! ZACK JUST KICKED THE REFEREE IN THE FACE!

The ref goes down,as Zack caught him flush in the face with a stiff enzugiri kick meant for Evenflow. As he's getting up, Zack gets grabbed by Evenflow and tossed through the middle ropes, to the floor,while Evenflow paces the ring, straightening himself out.

Alison comes over to check on Zack, who is using the apron for support to get...BASEBALL SLIDE BY EVENFLOW SENDS ZACK CRASHING INTO THE GUARDRAIL! Alison BARELY escaped getting scathed by the manuever, as Zack got hit and she jumped away in fright. Evenflow slides under the bottom rope, grabbing Zack by the hair and ramming him face first into the metal barrier. He then takes Zack and chokes him on the railing, forcing his throat down on it. With no one to admonish him, Evenflow continues the assault, reaching over the railing and grabbing a chair. Alison starts coming closer, wanting to help Zack, but Zack shouts "Get out of here!", urging her away from the psycho that was once their friend. Alison won't budge, and now Evenflow turns his attention to her, backing her up the ramp as he walks with a sadistic gleam in his eye. Alison has a look of terror on her face, as he inches in...SPEAR BY ZACK! ZACK TAKES EVENFLOW DOWN! Undaunted by his weariness, Zack rains down with fury, hitting lefts and rights to both of Evenflow's cheeks. He pulls Evenflow up off the ground, leading him by the hair, and then sends him crashing headfirst into the stage setup! Zack turns back to Alison, pointing to the back. She looks upset that he wants her to go, but he says "I can't let you get hurt out here." Alison reluctantly turns to go, as Zack turns his attention back to Evenflow. He walks over to him, but is met with a kick to the gut, and then Evenflow pops up and hits the EvenflowDDT ON THE FLOOR!

JR

Bah Gawd, he hit it! He dropped him right on his head!

JESSE

He's got him down, Ross. Now he

just has to get him back to the ring!

Evenflow, a bruised, sweaty mess, stands above Zack, and looks out to the crowd, raising him arms in triumph. The crowd jeers like there is no tomorrow, and watches as Evenflow walks away from Zack, and disappears behind the stage.

JR

Where did he go?

Evenflow comes back around the stage a minute later, carrying a table under each arm!

JR

Aw no, NO!

Evenflow sets both tables up in the area between the stage and the actual rampway. He picks Zack up off the mat and slams his face onto one of the tables, then lays him across the both of them. Evenflow then looks up at the stage (which is about 10 ft. high) and goes to the side of it, climbing the stairs to the base of it.

JESSE

This doesn't look good for Zack!

Evenflow walks around the stage, kicking the musical instruments out of his way, and ripping the wires off one of the guitars. He raises the guitar up, showing it off to the crowd, then tucks it under his arm. He runs to the end of the stage, and JUMPS OFF ONTO...NO! ALISON PULLS ZACK OFF THE TABLES!

MEGA POP throughout the arena, as Alison has run out and just saved Zack from being sent through two tables via a flying guitar shot! Evenflow lay in a heap of wood and metal, as Alison tries to help Zack to his feet. Zack is up, and turns to look at Evenflow, who is curled up into a ball,hurt from the fall. Zack picks up a large piece of wood from the table, then pulls Evenflow to his feet...AND SHATTERS THE TABLE PIECE OVER HIS HEAD! Evenflow goes down, blood trickling from his forehead, as Zack looks down on him. Zack reaches down and picks Evenflow up, slinging him over his shoulder! He slowly walks down the aisle, and as he gets closer to ringside, sprints a bit...then jogs...then RUNS, SLAMMING EVENFLOW'S BACK INTO THE APRON!

Evenflow hollers in pain, his lower back mashed against the side of the ring. Zack grabs him,and sends him towards the ring steps, but it gets countered in mid move,and Evenflow sends ZACK into the opposite stairs! Zack nails his head on impact, and holds his neck, as Evenflow can't even stand while holding onto the apron. He crawls around ringside on all fours, and starts lurking under the ring apron...AND PULLS OUT A SINGAPORE CANE!

Zack gets up from the stair shot, holding his head. With his head down, he doesn't see Evenflow swinging for him...CRACK! EVENFLOW NAILS ZACK OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CANE! ZACK GOES DOWN!

Alison comes sprinting down the aisle, having seen enough of this for one night. She heads over to Zack, but Evenflow pushes her down in the aisleway! He then turns and nails Zack across the head AGAIN, and now Zack is bleeding from his forehead! Evenflow jabs at Zack with the cane, poking at his beaten body. He goes and uses his free hand to pull Zack to his feet, and roll him in under the bottom rope. Evenflow turns to Alison and says "Watch this" before following Zack into the ring.

'Flow climbs in, jus as Zack is trying to get up. The referee is also getting up as well, and we may finally get an end to this carnage. Evenflow runs up behind Zack, and puts the cane around his neck, then takes him backwards to the mat with a cane assisted Russian Legsweep! Evenflow covers, and now the groggy ref crawls over slowly.

1...

2...

2 3/4! ZACK KICKS OUT!

Evenflow is irate, getting up and standing over the referee. He starts poking at the referee with the cane, who attempts to knock it away. Evenflow keeps antagonizing him, and doesn't see Zack standing up slowly behind him. Evenflow starts getting rough with the ref, in his face, making the ref beg for mercy. Evenflow turns around, and is shocked to see Zack coming at him with...NO! SCHOOL'S OUT HITS THE REFEREE! EVENFLOW DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY!

The referee goes through the middle rope and to the floor, while Evenflow hits a home run swing with the cane and sends Zack flying. Evenflow reaches down, grabbing Zack by the hair, and drags him across the mat to near the ropes. Evenflow then rolls under the bottom rope, and goes over to the ring stairs, moving them aside.

JR

What is he planning now?

Evenflow feels around under the stairs, in the hollow part, and peels off a slice of duct tape that was holding HANDCUFFS under there!

JR

Aw no, c'mon, someone needs to stop this!

Evenflow dangles the handcuffs in front of Alison, and climbs back in. She moves towards him, but he notices and stares her down, causing her to back away in fright. Evenflow enters the ring, and grabs Zack's left wrist, wrapping the handcuff around it and then attatching it to the top rope! Zack has nowhere to go!

Evenflow pokes Zack again with the cane, provoking him to get up. Slowly but surely, Zack does, but can't move much further. Evenflow backs up, taunting Zack, who is struggling to break free, and then rushes forward, smashing the cane on Zack's head again! Zack turns from the shot, hanging over the top rope, and Evenflow considers it open season on Zack's back! He starts wailing away on Zack's back, just like Sandman did to Tommy Dreamer back in the day. Alison, who is teary eyed on the outside, finally gains the courage to slide into the ring, and she grabs the cane in mid-swing, before it can come down on Zack again!

JESSE

She's nuts! Absolutely insane!

JR

Alison, for God's sake get out of there now!

Evenflow stalks his prey, swiping the cane back from her and sending her bravery back into a sense of shock. She falls back, now sitting on the mat, and slowly sliding away, before he grabs her by the hair. Standing over her, he pulls her up, but she stops in a rather...compromising position.

JR

Oh Good God no, he's sick!

Alison slides her hands up Evenflow's legs, and tugs on the waist of his pants, pulling THE KEYS OUT FROM HIS WAISTLINE! ALISON THROWS THE KEYS TO ZACK! Evenflow turns around in a flash with a LEAPING CANESHOT that splits the end of the cane in two, and prevents Zack from reaching them!

He turns his attention right back to Alison, and now backs her into a corner. He grabs her by the jaw just like he did Zack, then backs up and swings...ALISON DUCKS! ALISON GOT OUT OF THE WAY! Evenflow gives chase, as she heads for the other end of the ring, leading him into a SCHOOL'S OUT! SCHOOL'S OUT BY ZACK MALIBU!

Zack collapses, as his last burst of energy was used to protect his girl. Alison reaches in and grabs the keys, then hops up on the apron and uncuffs Zack! Malibu falls to his knees, his face a crimson mask. He turns to Alison and says "Go." and points to the back. He makes the "please" gesture, and she obliges, as she knows he needs to finish this. Zack gets up, barely able to stand, and picks up the cane. Evenflow lay on the mat, knocked cold from the School's Out, and now Zack swings the cane as he paces around his body. Suddenly, Zack starts swinging the cane repeatedly across the back of EvenflowDDT, sending his body into spasm every time a shot connects. Zack keeps going, hitting and hitting and hitting, until the cane breaks in two! Zack throws the broken weapon aside, and picks up Evenflow, holding him in a facelock and reaching down, hooking his leg...POP DROP~! ON EVENFLOW~! Zack looks over, and sees the ref still on the floor, just barely stirring. Zack turns around and looks at Evenflow, and pulls him up again...POP DROP FOR THE SECOND TIME~! This time, with Evenflow down, Zack leaves the ring, and goes to help the referee to his feet. After shaking the cobwebs loose, the referee re-enters the ring with Zack, and Zack goes for the cover, hooking the leg!

1!

2!!

3...NO! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE!

Zack gets up, because Los Infernales have rushed the ring! EL DANDY~! enters first, and gets a few Malibu right hands to daze him, as does SpiderPoet! As Zack turns his attention back to Dandy, SP nails him from the back, and Los Infernales each grab an arm and whip Zack to the ropes. SP presses him up as he comes off...tildeBANG~!, NO! Zack slips out, and shoves SP in Dandy, then cracks EL DANDY~! with School's Out! SP pounces on him like a shark that smells blood, and now the crowd cheers as Big Poppa Popick has come out, slides into the ring and spins SP around! SP and Popick are eye to eye, and now BPP...KICKS ZACK IN THE GUT! FINALITY ON ZACK MALIBU! THIS ONE IS OUT OF CONTROL!

* DING DING DING DING DING *

The referee calls for the bell, and is promptly disposed of by SpiderPoet, who throws him unceremoniously over the top rope and to the floor. The crowd boos and throws garbage in the ring, as SP helps Dandy to his feet, while BPP grabs the microphone from the announcer.

[Chanel #99]

Dandy gets helped back up, and admist the boos, motions for Stephen Joseph to hand him the microphone. SJ obliges as Dandy brings the mic to his lips, a man of few words, but a man of much meaning. Dandy pauses with a pursed lip and breath on its mind. He begin slowly, solemnly.

"This is how it has to happen. There is no such thing as coincidence, every action we take leads to a consequence we already know. And we cannot help but do that which we are ordained to do. Threfore we do not ask for your forgiveness, we are already forgiven. This is the way your world ends Zack, this is the way your world ends...not with a whimper but with a bang."

Dandy hands the mic to SpiderPoet who, up until now, has stood off to the side, his head bowed. Malibu, bloodied, sagging in the arms of El Dandy and Stephen Joseph, looks at Poet with something akin to . . . hurt. And disappointment. Poet meets his gaze as he walks around in front of Zack and kneels down in front of him. They stare at one another for a long moment before SP draws a fist back. He fires it towards Malibu's face, but it stops short . . . very short.

"This . . . close."

Poet looks at his fist, hovering mere millimeters from Zack's nose, and then back to Zack. "This close, Zack. This close to quitting. Because of BULLSHIT. Because everytime I'm settled in and I'm enjoying myself, some new piece of shit comes up, it's foul stench filling my nostrils. I get to the offices, so to speak, and I see people warring over shit. Over pushes, and decisions. People quitting because they wouldn't speak the fuck up before it got to the point where they just couldn't take it any more."

Poet opens his hand and lightly slaps Zack twice, smirking. "Relax, kid . . . Hang out for a few minutes. I figure I'll make like the old guys, like the legends . . . the 'heroes' around here and I'll spew some shit of my own, okay? Good." Poet stands up, and turns towards the still stunned audience. "Y'see, I came in here fresh faced and ready to go, ready to wrestle my heart out for everyone. Ready to stretch my abilities and get better at my craft. It looked like a good place to do that, looked like it was . . . fun. So I come around and I settle in, found a good mask to slap on and a buddy to hang around with. Even had a little tidbit in my original profile about my good friend Cobain, made a lil' joke!

"But it didn't take long. No, didn't take too very long at all before the shit hit the fan. Before the Cobains and the Cabooses and the Superstars started falling away. And then the mocking and that bullshit came up. Taking it outside of our little sandbox at the bottom of the board, taking it public. A smear campaign against one man because several were unhappy. Because people can't face their problems and try to make change. Instead they want to back out of the building and yell obscenities." Poet pauses and turns back to look at Zack.

"Afraid . . . Zack." SP lingers on Zack for a moment before turning back to the audience, and beginning to pace back and forth from one side of the ring to the other in front of Zack and Joseph, and Dandy.

"And I watched all this going down from afar, saying what I felt needed to be said here and there. And I've come to a conclusion. Zack . . . just like how a fresh faced kid can come in ready to have some fun and wind up bitter and agitated . . . things change. See, Zack . . . this is a realm of the written word, ultimately. We, you and I, must evolve, must change, must GROW. Beyond our original forms. And so must our environment.

"So people came along that had a real PASSION for this. For me. For you. For the others here. And a thread begat shows, and shows begat Pay-Per-Views. And organization took place. And people had to start stepping up, trying to keep it held together. People who, if they didn't care, if they didn't enjoy it, wouldn't have stepped up to do those things. People who have school, or work, but who still spend some of their free time . . . stretching their creative fingers. And helping others do it, too. But people did. Guys like Tony. Like Popick. And sooner or later, decisions have to be made, if only to try and make what everyone wants to do fit together.

And so people became unhappy with what was going on, with progress. With change. I guess they want it to remain stagnant, to never change. And so things started happening, people started...getting angry. It spilled over into other parts of the board, in people's sigs, in threads. Know what it amounts to, Zack?"

Poet turns back to Malibu, smoldering eyes trying to lance a hole in the Prep's skull. "Childish bullshit. BULLSHIT, Malibu. And we both know it. But I stuck it out, channeling my fondness for this place into graphics and making a tag team work. And then the bullshit helped push Sandie over the edge and he left. And then the big idea for the roster split comes up and we're all over it and then . . . aww . . . what happened? Supes bolted on ya, didn't he? He wasn't

happy anymore so he backed out the door . . . just like all the others. Of course, HeldDown has survived and has become a fine show in it's own right, having hosted myself and Dandy from time to time." Poet pauses, looks around at the audience, and at the two men holding Malibu. And then back to Zack himself. "But then somethin' happened on your little show, Zack. See, we were watching, hell, Dandy and I were in the back . . . and Some Guy comes out. He comes out with the stick and he starts jackin' his jaws about this and that, but mostly about Popick. But what he said then, and what he said again this past week, about Angle-Plex and his losing streak and such. But you know, Zack," and Poet kneels down in front of Malibu now, looks him in the eyes. "I can understand why SomeGuy would idenitfy with Plex . . . and the

others that left. They all share one common denominator. They wouldn't take charge themselves. Sure, it's easy to bitch and moan about things long after you've stopped having fun and you're ready to leave, and then it's even better to try and figure out how you don't have to be accountable for yourself. But you know what, Zack? They are. The only person accountable for Plex's losing streak is Angle-Plex himself. The only people responsible for not having fun are the people who have forgotten how. Sooner or later, Plex shoulda spoke up and said, 'Hey fuck you, I'm takin' the win this week bitches.' Or, 'Hey, I'm gettin' tired of this bullshit, it's time we did something serious with me.' That's all it woulda taken, Zack. That's all it would have taken for Supes. For anyone that had a problem with what was going on. Fuck Cobain. Fuck Some Guy. Fuck Superstar, and Fuck Angleplex. They left. While the men who have a passion are still here. Still standing."

SP leans in close to Malibu and reaches up, grasping Malibu's jaw in his hand and jerking his face over to meet his own. "You're not standing right now, are you Zack? No? Do you know why, old friend?" Zack seems about to answer but SP belts him one good time across the jaw. "I learned something recently, Zackie. I learned, that the nice guy, the guy that contributes and sticks around and burns the midnight oil. The guy that gives his all and tries to be there for everyone . . . that guy pays a price. See, Zack . . . your neutrality has left you blank, and now we will fill that void. You are the worst of the sniveling little worms, for you take no side. You stand for nothing. And you see where that gets you, Zack. It leaves you not standing at all. Fuck you too, Zack Malibu. Now it's time you felt the pain of being turned on, trampled on for all your work. You are our World Champion, you are the representation of everything that has been achieved, of all our change and progress and you represent our future. And now you will be a Martyr."

Poet stands and backs up a few steps from Malibu, watching him carefully. "Welcome to IntenseZone, Zack. Welcome to your Reign. We are the ones who will Judge and destroy now. And we will be right behind you, no matter where you go or what you do. I . . . We will not tolerate betrayal any longer. Fuck the politics, and fuck the ones who live in them. That time has passed. A new era has begun. An era of Justice. An era of Retribution. The Trinity...has arrived."

Stephen Joseph and Dandy drop Zack down to the mat, Poet begins to revel in the hateful jeers thrown at the Trinity from the OaOasT crowd. And in a move just out of spite, Poet drops down to one knee, prays for a brief moment, and then just as fast as a glint of lightning from the corner of your eye...slaps on a Crossface submission. The microphone is dropped.

Stephen Joseph bends over and picks it back up, tapping on it a few times to check its still working status. "ughh huh nghhh!" as the former "Big Poppa" clears his throat.

"Let me set this straight. 'Big Poppa' is dead and buried, lost forever to that dark and musty tomb, lost because of betrayal, mistrust, dishonesty...all sorts of sin and vice. That man that you cheered, is no man to cheer anymore. I don't want your approval, I don't care for your approval, and quite frankly if you got hit by a car I would NOT CARE. Life itself is nothing but a worthless journey of disappointment for you...think about it, everyone's so pre-occupied with fearing rejection. Oh FUCK that. Your rejection will only harden my resolve."

BPP pauses to overlook the crowd, allowing them to reign down more boos. SJ drops to his right knee and puts the mic in Zack's face. "So you're probably wondering why all of this happened Zack, and why you're our Jesus, our sacrifice for a higher purpose?

Why me, right? Oh Zack it's so simple. You and I, we were friends. We hadn't seen eye to eye before, but then, with the bastards in the aWo ... all of whom are nothing but cowards EXCEPT for Anglesault, who's just a jealous and bitter man, but at least he ain't a coward."

BPP drops to both knees. "See Zack, you get to find out what Some Guy, that cowering shell of a man found out. You don't Cross the Boss. And what happened to him Zack...After his match...BAM~! Out of nowhere he gets hit with a chair, and then Synchronicity, that sweet succulent move...right on the chair. He's already got a bad back Zack, and I took him out in ONE shot."

"So why you Zack? Why are you the saving grace? You're not! Know what you are... You're the man who tried to kill me. See? I figured that out...that move wasn't botched...you knew exactly what you were doing. You wanted me out of the game. That's why you didn't support your "friend" BPP when the pathetic pieces of

rooster shit stared their campaign of lies and deceit.

And if anything, that hurt Zack. You were Cain Zack, Cain reincarnate... and I was Abel. Well tough luck Sherlock...Abel lives, and he's pissed. Why the fuck couldn't you even face me in the hospital, where I lie. YOU NEARLY KILLED ME!"

Stephen Joseph begins a maniacal laugh.

"Nearly...But man did I recover fast...Turns out it was just a phantom paralyzation or something. I forget what they told me. Some snips and tucks and a few minor tears and ole Popick was ready to go again. And I was ready to be happy ole Popick, but then I lost my focus...again...and lost to Orion. I lost too...Orion...WHAT THE FUCK?

"So what's the point of this? When the chips start coming down, when your enemies mount...count on your friends. And I thought to myself, who could I count on. And that Zack, was the easiest answer I've ever heard. Who met SpiderPoet and Dandy at the door. Who said they'd make a great team? ME! Who told em to stick it out and one day they'd be the greatest? ME! And then, after their success, who did they thank? ME! They stuck by me Zack! Like them or hate them, they're loyal to the core, and they'll at least tell ya to your face that YOU SUCK. Poet, Dandy, they're my family here. And between the three of us, we're the only ones who are safe.

Oh yeah, that's right. IntenseZone is exactly what Dames said. A warzone. Who gonna mess wit dat Trins? Huh? Does anyone there have the cajones? No...because I'm running the show! They know not to piss me off...they shall have hell to pay if they do....Abuse MY power, JOB out wrestlers...I didn't them, but if I am going to be hanged as a guilty man then I might as well do something worthy of being guilty over. So you know you're not safe on iZ right Zack? But here's news. You're not safe on HeldDOWN either..."

Dandy grabs the microphone.

"But Stephen, you're not a tag team champion or world champion?"

SJ takes the handed microphone back.

"You're right Dandy, I am neither. But I hold the world title right here in my hand. And I'm MANAGER of the World Tag Team Champions by a nice little contract we signed earlier tonight. Ohhh...Isn't that something...I get to be on BOTH shows....muwahahaha....It's about time HeldDOWN had three genuine Superstars, because you know the best thing going on HeldDOWN is getting your second dose of the Infernales..."

Men here are hollow men, ghosts of past glory, living in the revelry of the flesh and the present fame. Canst thou not see how sinful this is? Truth hurts y'all, and Pain is the only thing constant in life. Not love, not goodness...Pain. We offered salvation from this pain, we worked hard, we led a good life...and we were persucuted...But unlike Jesus we choose NOT TO DIE FOR YOU. OUR Salvation lies in your CONDEMNATION. And by Condemning you, by hurting you Zack, we will SAVE YOU.

You talk Saviors? I'm the mother-fucking Savior of the OaOasT. Love me or hate, you HAVE to respect me. And if you don't, we're beating it out of you just like little Zack here. School's in session Zack. First lesson... Tick Tock Zack. First lesson? Your title means nothing to me, but it means everything to you. We call this...comparative advantage, preference theory. So if You'd prefer to get your title back from me, then you'll have to wait until School's Out Zack...Be seeing you in the parking lot. Better Pray ack...Better Pray lest ye wear a crown of thorns.

SP unlocks Zack from the hold and the Infernales with Stephen Joseph pose with their respective titles over the bloodied pulpit of Zack Malibu, testament to the new Order.

END SHOW

[Chanel #99]

DIRECTED BY

Tony149

WRITTEN BY

Kingpk

CanadianChick

SpiderPoet

Undisputed

VS

ShooterJay

Tony149

EvenflowDDT

Zack Malibu

Anglesault

What?

Mystery Eskimo

Big Poppa Popick

The Superstar

Slickster

Foshi

LaParkaYourCar

Scott Keith's Biggest Fan

Kotzenjunge

The Mad Cappa

GRAPHICS BY

Big Poppa Popick

SpiderPoet

PRODUCERS

SpiderPoet

Mystery Eskimo

Jingus

Kotzenjunge

SENIOR PRODUCERS

Zack Malibu

Big Poppa Popick

EXECUTIVE CONSULTANT

Tony149

OAOAST CREATED BY

Anglesault

CWM

Tony149

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER

Anglesault

© 2003

OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED