OAOAST IntenseZone - 4/14/03

[Chanel #99]

::Fade in Backstage, where a blonde man is sitting in a chair in a locker room::

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a new segment on IZ that we like to call INTENSTLY INTERVIEWING! I am your host, former WWE employee, Kevin Kelly. Alongside with me is the stoic half of the world tag team champions, Los Infernales. You all know him as EL DANDY~! Welcome to the interview, DANDY~!

ED: My pleasure. (Adjusts his belt and puts it over his knee)

KK: Of course, the big talk of the locker room is the hellacious match between you and the Mystery Wierdness Connection at AngleMania II, where somehow, someway, you and your partner, SpiderPoet, came out on top with the belts. Tell me, how did it make you feel?

ED:(quiet, calm tone) It felt good and it was quite a battle.

KK: Indeed it was. Please tell the people watching at home what plans are in store for Los Infernales in the future!

ED: We plan to win.

KK: Well, that certainly is right to the point. Now, you say you are going to unveil a new move soon?

ED: Yes.

(Long silence.)

KK: Would you mind telling us what it’s gonna be?

ED: (stares at Kelly) You’ll have to wait and see.

KK: Do you have a time as to when this move will be unveiled?

ED: Soon.

KK: Uh huh...well, I’m gonna play a little bit of word association with ya, ok?

ED: Sure.

KK: Anglesault

ED: The creator of this federation. Much respect.

KK: Zack Malibu

ED: The man to beat.

KK: Angle-Plex

ED: Heh...(no answer)

KK: Alright then. SpiderPoet.

ED: Tag partner.

KK: Black Widow

ED: Black.

KK: Intense Zone

ED: My place to fight.

KK: EL DANDY~!

ED: A man amongst men...

KK: Well, that was certainly an entertaining interview! I’d like to thank my guest EL DANDY~! for stopping by! Until next week, I’ll see you all next time on INTENSELY INTERVIEWING!

::Fade Out::

LAST WEEK ON INTENSEZONE!

::Maintaining his composure, K Money looks at the fallen Zack, and drops an elbow on him to keep him down. He then motions for the top rope, and makes the belt motion again, drawing jeers from the many Zack fans in attendance. Money starts climbing up the ropes, shouting out to the fans, and not seeing that Zack is up behind him! K Money stands on the top rope, his back to the ring, and Zack comes charging, jumping up with a dropkick to the back of Money's leg, taking him down crotch-first and HARD onto the top turnbuckle! Money falls backwards to the mat, and is howling in pain, on his knees. Zack sees him down, and backs up, then charges ahead...ZACK ATTACK TO K MONEY! Zack is on fire now, worked up by sheer adrenaline and the rush of the crowd cheers. He calls for the P.O.P. DROP, but...WHAT THE HELL?

EvenflowDDT has made his way down the aisle! Alison tries to block him, but he lightly shoves her aside. She continues to block him from interfering, and finally he SHOVES her to the floor! Zack sees this and leaps up, springboarding off the top rope and flying through the air with a bodypress onto Evenflow! Zack looks to the crowd, who are chanting his name, and then goes to check on Alison. As he does so, he doesn't realize Evenflow is quick to get up. 'Flow, still sporting a neck brace (like he said he would earlier) knocks a fan over, and grabs their chair! He spins Zack around...EvenflowDDT BY EvenflowDDT, on the steel chair! Zack is out cold, as Alison screams at Evenflow. K Money slides out of the ring, seeing as how Evenflow just cost him the title, and starts to question his actions. Evenflow raises his hands in surrender, saying his problem is with Zack. Money looks discouraged, but before anything can come of it, Evenflow kicks him in the gut, and DDT's HIM on the floor! The crowd drowns 'Flow in boos, as he backs up the ramp. Both women look on to their men, as the camera gets a final shot of Evenflow's sick smiling mug . . . ::

[Chanel #99]

JR: Ladies and gentlement welcome to INTENSEZONE! We are here LIVE and we've got quite a show rearin' to go! Good ol' JR here with Jesse Ventura in the booth. Tonight, we've got El Dandy against J.O.B. Squad, we'll hear from EvenflowDDT, have an update on BIG POPPA POPICK'S condition, and more!

Jesse: Damn it, Ross, I thought I told those interns to have a cooler sitting under the table!

BREAAAAAAK!

TEAR AWAY hits the sound system and the "Spectacular" Spider Poet wastes little time making his way down to the ring. He's dressed in slacks, black shoes, a t-shirt and a blue vest, black shades decorating his face, drawing attention away from his hair, pulled back in a pony tail. He certainly doesn't appear to be here for a match. On the way down the ramp, he pauses once or twice to point and berate some fans who are booing him, but for the most part walks with a measured, hard stride.

JR: Now what in the world is he doing? It's a little early for him to be starting trouble, isn't it?!

Jesse: It's never too eary to start trouble, Ross. It's never too early to start drinking either.

SP is in the ring, and he hits the turnbuckle to throw an arm up. He drops down and snatches the mic from the ring announcer, and turns towards the ramp as the music dies down and the lights come up. In place of the music, the crowd's chorus of boos is rather loud. Poet looks around with a smirk before raising the mic. "I know, I know. I'd boo any wrestler that came out here too if my hometown hero got his ass whupped by a kid that botched a backflip off the top rope."

MAD HEAT at the Kurt Angle reference.

JR: Now that's just not right.

"I mean, it's really too bad that you poor people can't have someone as awe-inspiring as the Spectacular Spider Poet." More boo's. SP widens his smirk as the crowd pours on the heat. "Or, you could have another broke-neck has-been like BPP to represent you," he says, unable to stifle a chuckle that choked the end of the sentence. "No, no, wait. Wait! I," and SP begins laughing hard now. He holds up a hand and leans over, selling the laughter. "I -- I got it. I got it." Poet manages to calm himself down enough to look around the crowd. "How about . . . Shane Douglas?"

The crowd erupts in a nice cheer at the mention of another Pittsburgh native. Spidey allows them the reprieve from booing for a moment or two while he reaches up and removes his shades. "You, ah, you like Shane Douglas, eh?" Cheers again. "Man that answers a big question I've been asking myself about you people, then. I mean, you seem to lose your minds when ZACK MALIBU shows up around here!"

Crowd pops HUGE, so huge that SP seems startled initially, playing it off by throwing his shades down and pacing around the ring until it begins to subside. He finally stops near the ropes and shakes his head. "Yeah that, that makes sense. I see that you love your fighting Champions. That Douglas guy, what a fighter. Says he'll be a fighting champion but, much like our own Pissed On Prep, he just handles the curtain-jerkers! The has-beens!"

JR: Now that's just not true! Zack Malibu has listened and isn't keeping anyone away from a fair shot at the biggest belt in the business.

Jesse: He'd better be careful. Sometimes the crafty little guy will rob you blind.

The crowd BOOS hard at that one, having just seen highlights from Malibu vs K-Money from last week. "I mean, come on, Zack. You'll give a title shot to that little bitch with the bodyguards? There's a difference between being a fighting champion . . . ," and SP trails off for a second and allows a grin, "and being a coward that dodges the real threats." The crowd again erupts in a chorus of boos as the OAOAST's resident hero's character comes under fire. SP shakes his head. "Tell you what, Zack. Prove me wrong, man. I'd love for you to, I don't want to serve under a lame-ass World Champion. Take on somebody that can put you in yer place. Why don't you go one on one with ol' S-S-P?!"

JR: Oh please. Zack defeated longtime champion AngleSault in one of the greatest matches to ever grace an OAOAST ring. He's more than proven what he needs to prove.

Jesse: Not against Poet, and Poet's the only guy that counts in his mind.

The crowd continues to boo, not liking Poet's bashing. Suddenly the soft piano filters over the speakers, and the AngleTron lights up with a man looking in a mirror. The crowd POPS HUGE as . . .

*WAKE ME UP*

ZACK MALIBU makes his way to the stage, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder. He doesn't look happy as SpiderPoet looks on from the ring, pacing back and forth. Malibu signals for the music to stop and once it does, the chants of his name are just as loud. He smiles at the warm reception, allowing himself a few moments to take it in before finally speaking.

"So it's come down to this. The Poet, a supposed man of words, has to resort to petty name-calling in order to get my attention? Bro, I've got news for you...the match is signed, so you can keep the lame ass Showtime At The Apollo act to a bare minimum. You see SP, actions speak louder than words. Cliche? Oh yes, yes it is. But it's a proven fact. Because while you run my heroes down, run myself down, and mock circumstances that could not have been prevented, you forget one thing. I hold a win over you already, don't I?" As Malibu pauses, the crowd cheers at the one-up he has over Spidey.

Poet shakes his head violently and points over the top rope at Malibu. "Fluke, Prep. Nothin' but a fluke and you couldn't do it again if your life depended on it. Fine, whatever, I got no problem with acknowledging a fluke win. Sure, you beat me."

Malibu shakes his head with a smile. "Yes, and as a matter of fact...well, it was in a tournament to get a shot at this belt! Now, I don't deny you're talent, but an intelligent man like you shouldn't have to run his mouth. A man like you shouldn't have to resort to the ends you go too. And a man like you, a Tag Team Champion, someone who should maintain some honor and dignity, should NOT belittle, berate, or attack women!"

Poet's face twists in rage at the mention of is ongoing ordeal with Black Widow and Crystal. "The little bitch deserved it! There's lots of things I'll let go but you DO NOT MESS with MY FAMILY. Forget that noise, Champ, it's none of your business. What IS your business is tonight. Right here, 1, 2, 3, I'm gonna cut your title reign short. Just like you cut your little buddy's career short. Another fluke. Hell, I'm almost afraid to step in the ring with you, that is, if I weren't more talented than an army of Malibu's and Popick's."

Zack tenses but ultimately refuses to take the bait. "You're full of talent, Poet, but you're also full of yourself. I'm willing to go the distance with you tonight. The Prep vs. The Poet, round 2. This gold belt is just a three count away, SP. Unfortunately, the ref isn't going to make it that high, at least not while my shoulders are on the mat." Malibu, unwilling to risk this degenerating into mud-slinging at BPP any further, throws the mic down and backs behind the curtain, watching Poet with cold, angry eyes.

JR: Bah Gawd, the Prep and the Poet hook up again and it's only on IntenseZONE~!

Jesse: I'm tellin' ya, JR, Zack better be watching his back.

JR: We've got it tonight, and we've got it here, so stay tuned!

::Cut to Commercial::

[Chanel #99]

(Fade in to JR and JESSE looking into the Camera from behind the commentary booth)

JR: Well after what we just saw, I'm not sure what to expect for our Main Event tonight, fans, as Zack Malibu has apparently signed on to defend the OAOAST World Championship against Spider Poet.

Jesse: Haha, Ross, did you see the look on Spidey's face when Malibu mentioned his lady troubles?

JR: That bastard deserved it. Taking pot shots at injured people . . . Well, earlier today we caught up with j.o.b. squad and K-Ness as they were preparing for this evening. Have a look . . .

(job squad is standing with his co-number 3 draft pick trophy which has grown since it was presented to him at the last iz before the roster split due to job squad addind spikes as well as painting flames on it)

j.o.b. squad- "k-ness tell me how many times must the ref's hand go down when you pin some one"

k-ness -"3 times"

job squad and how many times must my oponents hand go down when i slap on any of my many and devestating submision holds before i have won "

kness - 3

job squad - and after i whip the floor with el dandy tonight how many matches will i have competed in

kness - 3

job squad - and if you take my won loss record after i defete el dandy tonight and find out my loseing percent it is 33.33%with threes continuing into infinity. as you can see threes are the key to sucess in wrestling.

kness - how is it that such a number as 3 is the key to sucsees in wrestling.

job squad - well it is obvious isent it a number does not just appear so many times in a sport without a large amount of paranormal powers. not only do you win in wrestling on threes as well as my record containing threes. there are a lot of other things surounding wrestling that has 3's in it.

kness - like what.

job squad - well the oaoast has 3 forums i have 388 posts my member number is 3126 and i joined thesmartmarks.com on 31-January 03 its becoser it is three

kness - I can see

job squad - its a magic number. And that is why we as co-number three draft picks not only do we have the destiny to become the greates crappy team in the history of the oaoast. But we have the destiny a manifest destiny if you will to become the greatest tag team in the history of history. and as such next week we anielate the mysterie weirdness conection. Then it is on to living angleosly where we will make the crapternals tap like angle in a rear chinlock

job squad(looks right into camera) - THATS RIGHT PEOPL IT IS THREE YOU CAN SEE IT IS A MAGIC NUMBER

::Cut to the OAOAST Arena, panning the crowd::

::Hells Bells by AC/DC plays::

JR: Well fans that was certainly an interesting take on our great sport.

Jesse: I wonder if that guy eats alot of sugar before he gets here . . .

Out comes el dandy and he enters the ring.

Then the ring anouncer gets on the micraphone and says "now comeng to the ring weighing in at 195 pounds one half of the third draft picks, the man with half of a destiny, the greatest crappy wrestler in the world today JOBITUDE V3

::live in baghdad by Yoko Kanno::

JR: JOBITUTDE?

Jesse: Version 3? I need a drink.

Out comes job squad in his new wrestling gear which consists of a red mask covered in black threes along with a t shirt covered in 3's and black pants with red threes

job squad brings with him his co-number three draft pick trophy complete with spikes sticking out of the top and flames painted on.

El Dandy grabs the mic: "Why does he get that long introduction and I only get my music?"

job squad grabs the mic: "Not only did I book the match but by virtue of me being the number three draft pick I have the destiny to become the greatest crappy wrestler alive as well as 1 half of the greatest crappy tag team in the world with the beast from just south of of the far east k-ness and because ITS THREE YOU CAN SEE IT IS A MAGIC NUMBER

El Dandy, enraged, attacks job squad and gives him a t-bone suplex that drops him right on his head

JR - My god he's killed him

JESSE - And he knows he's killed him and he's going to finish this off quick. He's not even going to look at that loser while he climbs to the top turnbuckle

When dandy reaches the top rope, job squad does a kip-up and runs to the corner and jumps to the top rope and locks el dandy in the ITS A MAGIC NUMBER

JR - My god he is going to rip off the face of eldandy

JESSE - Yeah he wont quite be so dandy after that move

But do to Dandy being on the top rope the ref starts the five count job squad breaks the hold at 4

El Dandy hits job squad with a mule kick which knocks jobsquad off the top rope. Grabing his nuts, El Dandy hits the missle drop kick knocking jobsquad to the opposite corner

job squad uses the ropes to get up and he climbs to the top rope. El Dandy gets up and job squad gives Dandy the top rope hurricanrana into an abdominal stretch.

But El Dandy gets to the ropes forcing job squad to let go, and Dandy gives job squad a belly to belly throw to the outside of the ring

JR - my god

JESSE - you said that already

Dandy goes to the top rope and gives job squad a Big Time Frog Splash from the top rope to the floor

JR - With god as my witness he is dead

venturah - Yeah if you were allowed to pin people on the outside of the ring this would be over.

El Dandy picks up jobsquad and throws him back into the ring he then follows him into the ring but job squad kicks out at 2 and 9/10ths

Dandy then waits for job squad to get up. Dandy goes to hit him with a yakuza kick but job squad catches his foot and trips the other leg.

job squad then turns over and locks eldandy in the stf/ITS A MAGIC NUMBERits a magic number combo and El Dandy starts looking like he's going to tap, but passes out instead.

Winner: Jobitude V3.0 by Submission

JR: I can't believe we just witnessed that. What an upset!

Jesse: Yeah and I bet Dandy's pretty upset.

JR: . . . We'll be right back.

[Chanel #99]

JR: "Well, we have quite the encounter coming between Reject and the Missing-in-action-as-of-late, y2jailbait."

Jesse: "Yeah, where has he been as of late, he got his ass whooped by Brock and we haven't heard much from him since."

JR: "Maybe he lived up to his promise and smoke himself into oblivion?"

Jesse: "Or maybe he's been caught up watching loops of "The George Lopez" show..."

::"How I Could Just Kill A Man" Hits as Y2jailbait makes his way to the ring. He is greeted with a mix of cheers and boos, but defiant as ever, Jailbait flips the crowd off and grabs a mic::

Jailbait: "All right, I've had enough of this crap. I've been ignored for damn near two months in asking for my world title shot and the next thing I know, I got a match with this nothing Reject. Well Ill tell all you trash this one thing and you remember it..."

::Just then, Reject comes running down to the ring and spears Jailbait to the ground!::

JR: "Oh man, what a devastating spear that was!"

Jesse: "I'd give it 0.5 Rhyno, no more, no less"

::Jailbait, still recovering, gets hit with a monstorous clothesline and is reeling. Reject goes UPTOP and hits a missle dropkick to the jaw. Jailbait tries to flee the fast and furious action, but gets pulled by his jeans back into the ring.

Jailbait then looks Reject dead in the eye and slaps him across his face and cusses him out in spanish!::

JR: "Oh man, Jailbait's done it now!"

Jesse: "Jailbait is fired up now, but Reject is too!"

::Reject and Jailbait brawl all over the ring and spill out to the floor. The ref begins to count both wrestlers out. Reject just brutally tosses Jailbait into the steps and jailbait looks broken in half.::

Jesse: "Oh my god, did you see his back? It bent backwards, he looked like a tyson chicken with his legs bent like that!"

JR: "Jailbait is hurt, badly, I think this one is just about over."

::Reject rolls in the ring and rolls out, breaking the refs count. He actually checks on Jailbait! The ref is counting at 8 and just then...Jailbait slams Reject into the guardrail and into the crowd! Jailbait quickly rolls into the ring, but its too late, the ref has counted both men out.::

JR: "That dirty no good Jailbait, trying to cheat to win, that never flys well around here!"

Jesse: "Hey, win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat I say!"

::Jailbait and Reject lock eyes from a distance and Reject just puts up a finger symbolizing that he wants one more match with jailbait. Jailbait looks at Reject and nods!::

Jesse: "What the hell, a mutal respect angle? Dammit, who writes this crap!"

JR: "Jesse, were on..."

Jesse: "..."

Winner: Double Countout @ 8:35; No Winner

[Cut to a Locker Room]

El Dandy is pulling on a shirt, having showered after the loss to job squad. While it's clear that he's agitated, he's not lost the cool, stoic nature he's known for. The door opens and he whirls around, but it's only . . . Black Widow. He nods to her and turns back to his locker, packing his bag.

"Hi, Dandy. Have you seen Spidey?"

"No."

"Oh." Widow seems visibly relieved for a moment before she collects herself and smiles. "How'd your match go?"

"I lost."

Surprised, Widow moves to his side. "I'm sorry. You okay?"

"It happens."

She frowns, seeing the same closed nature that Spidey at times displays. "Well . . . what happened?"

"Surprised me. Submission. I didn't tap."

"Oh." She pauses, uneasy. Finally, she says, "Look . . . this whole thing with Crystal . . . do me a favor and let me know if Spidey starts plotting, okay? She's a good kid and --"

Dandy holds up a hand. "Gotcha . . . I got some stuff to do. Later." And he leaves, leaving Widow with a frown.

::Fade To Commercial::

[Chanel #99]

JR: Two weeks ago on iZ a horribly botched P.O.P. Drop nearly paralyzed Big Poppa Popick. Aside from 1 OaOasT superstar, support for his recovery has been non-stop

JESSE: Last week we heard from Bill Watts and found out Popick's condition, one that wasn't looking good due to some damage in his brain. While I am known to be a jokeful guy, injuries are nothing to laugh about

JR: BPP received a medical release this morning, and is slated to be here tonight for a very important announcement concerning his career. And given what we've been hearing about the lingering effects of his dementia ...

JESSE: It's pretty obvious he's going to retire tonight.

::My Hero flares up, perhaps for the last time, and fans everywhere stand up to applaud. Through the backstage curtain, Big Poppa Popick comes rolling himself out to the top of the entrance ramp, his wheelchair his only means of maneuver. He raises a microphone, leading the crowd to much bigger cheers

JR: These fans sure love the Commissioner.

JESSE: Do they have any idea what he's about to say?

BPP drops his head, almost crying it seems, making choking with his throat to hold back tears. Again he lifts the microphone, and the crowd roars louder, melting into a BPP! chant unlike any that has been heard. BPP looks up, eyes glassed over and mouths "Thank You" He then raises the microphone a third time, and now the crowd calms down

BPP: Thank you very much for that reception. It's appreciated... ::BPP spaces off for 30 seconds...the crowd remains silent::

BPP: Sorry, bout that. This affliction I have sometimes makes me think things I don't care to talk about

JR: This has got to be rough on BPP

BPP: So the doctors, the doctors, oh they tell me bad things. I've got brain damage people. Now I'm not going to lie, its really bad. So, they tell me I need to reduce stress, that a change of scenery might be in order

::crowd boos::

BPP: I know...But hey, it's been a fun fun year. But as for BPP the wrestler...I think he's done. Another injury ...

::BPP fades off, the camera pans away, some of the crowd is in tears::

BPP: Sorry again. Another injury and ... I'd rather not think about it. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is. Big Poppa Popick is retiring. It's been a great run, and I'm glad I can at least go out as someone you all respected. To the boys in the back, thanks. And Zack... Zack Malibu.

BPP: I forgive ... I DONT FORGIVE YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU DID THIS, YOU TRIED TO TAKE ME OUT

::BPP eyes are inflamed and his expression are not himself...The wheelchair begins to rattle.

BPP: THEY SAY I SINNED AND THIS IS WHAT I RECEIVE AS PUNISHMENT I AM NOT THE GUILTY SOUL! I ...

::BPP slumps in his seat, the fans taken aback bye what they just heard. BPP, still slumping, pulls the microphone back up::

BPP: Sorry. See, that's what's happening...I'm slipping in and out of a personality that is me, and a personality that, I guess....could be me. I don't like that side much. Zack ::face contorts for a second, then calms down:: Zack, I forgive you... I know Evenflow and Sandman were full of shit. It was a fun run man.

::The fans, regaining as sense that ole BPP is back, start back the BPP! chant He speaks over it::

Goodbye.

Orion's voice is suddenly heard on the PA.

ORION

"All right, Popick, enough is enough. You've gone on and on about this 'injury' bullshit long enough; it's time for a TRUE CHAMPION like myself to get the respect I deserve."

JR

What blatant disrespect to an OAOAST legend!

ORION

"Popick, since you're here and I'm here, and because I'm feeling especially generous today, I'm going to give you yet another shot at my F13 Title. I'll see you in the ring later tonight....or how about RIGHT NOW!??

Suddenly, "Headstrong" hits and Orion runs out from the back and grabs the handlebars of Popick's wheelchair. Sprinting dangerously quickly down the ramp, Orion lets go of the handlebars and sends Popick careening into the ring steps. A chorus of boos echoes from the irate crowd.

Orion grabs Popick by the neck and shoulders and rolls him into the ring. The middle-aged, balding referee (from Orion's 'match' at AM2) quickly slides into the ring and calls for the bell.

F13 Title Match: Orion © vs. Big Poppa Popick

Orion starts stomping away at Popick's midsection as Popick tries to cover up and block the shots. With a malicious laugh, Orion turns and begins to expose the middle turnbuckle to set him up for the 315. Meanwhile, Popick uses the ropes to get to a vertical base.

Leaning on the ropes to stand up, Popick painfully propels himself forward toward Orion. At the same time, Orion removes the middle turnbuckle and is taunting the crowd. Letting go of the ropes and falling forward, Popick chop blocks Orion while his back is still turned, dropping him face-first onto the exposed metal of the turnbuckle.

JR

Now Orion gets a taste of what he deserves!

Screaming in pain, Orion rolls to the outside, clutching at his face. In the ring, Popick again uses the ropes to stand up and leans in one of the corners. Sporting a look of frustration (and a trickle of blood coming from his forehead) Orion climbs back inside and blindly charges Popick's corner, only to run face-first into Popick's extended leg. The crowd roars as Popick valiantly charges out of the corner and clotheslines Orion, the impact of which knocks both men to the canvas.

The referee begins a ten-count and watches both men intently. Popick crawls onto Orion and drapes his arm across his chest. The ref suddenly looks away and continues the count, staring straight ahead. The crowd furiously boos the ref's blatant assistance of Orion. At the count of 7, Orion slowly gets to his feet and bounces off the ropes. Popick, seriously injured and in the center of the ring, is unable to avoid Orion's crushing elbowdrop to the head. Orion covers and the ref makes a lightning fast 3-count.

JR: SON OF A BITCH! Somebody get some help down to the ring! He could have killed him!

Jesse: Somebody cut to something else, and bring me some of the hard stuff . . .

::Fade Out::

(Scene- open up zoomed in on a rat, who quickly scurries across the floor. Tilt up to a door, which opens up to reveal Jay Darring.)

*Startled by the camera*

"Oh, you guys are actually here this week? Well, alright then, hang on one minute."

(The camera follows Jay as he walks around his apartment. The walls are desperately in need of paint. Dirty clothes are scattered across the floor. Tapes and magazines are piled up by the couch and television set, the only furniture in the living room. There are no decorations, except for a wrestling school certifcate mounted on the wall and a framed photo of Jay with Bret Hart. Jay checks his answering machine.)

"You have...no...new...messages."

*smiles*

"Just the way I like it."

(Opens his cupboard- empty except for peanut butter and bread.)

*sits down and starts making a sandwich*

"I've been signed with OaOasT for close to two months now. In that time, I have had no matches, and no airtime until last week. This is...somewhat incovenient for me. No matches equals no money. No money equals no food on my table, no gas for my Dart, and late rent payments for this palatial estate right here."

"You see, I have nothing to fall back on. I dropped out of college to wrestle. I have no financial support from family because I dropped out of college to wrestle. I don't subject myself to the indignity of minimum wage scrub work at the Save-O-Mart, answering to some retard with half of my intellectual prowess because I spend all my time with my tapes and in the gym, trying to become a better wrestler."

"Wanna know why I think I haven't been booked? Fear. I've had no matches, because everyone in OaOaST is afraid to deal with the harsh reality that I have more desire, more training, and more G-d-given talent than anyone on this damn roster. They know I'm destined to be the next breakout superstar, and they figure if they ignore me, I'll go away. Let's debunk this misguided notion right now: I'm not going away anytime soon, and if no one steps up to the plate to take on Jay Darring, I'm going to start making my own opportunities around here, and that should make you all very, very afraid. I'm beggin ya, from the champs on down, to grow some balls and test yourself against the mainstream superstar- it'll be for your own good."

(Finishes peanut butter sandwich and takes a bite.)

(Fade out)

::Commercial Break::

[Chanel #99]

We cut to the AngleTron where there appears Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. The crowd boos upon the first image of PRL. Puerto Rican just sneers at the crowd and smiles.

Puerto Rican Lightning: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Greetings. It is I, YOUR Puerto Rican Champion, Puerto Rican Lightning here to do what that piece of Mad Crappa couldn't do and be here live in the arena for this week's IntenseZone!

The crowd boos.

Jesse: What a great man, Puerto Rican Lightning is.

JR (disgusted): Please.

PRL: Now, I am out here today in front of all you pieces of trailer park trash, because, I have anwsered the challenge of one Shooter Jay Darring. He is new and green and actually has the gall to challenge anyone in the OAOAST! Well, Jay, I have come out here to say that YES! I will accept your challenge and face you tonight!

The crowd pops!

P.R (stops to think): Hmmmmm. And how about let's sweeten the deal. Instead of this being a standard match, how about I put the Puerto Rican Championship on the line! That's right. Puerto Rican Lightning vs. "Shooter" Jay Darring for the Puerto Rican Championship tonight on IntenseZone!

The crowd pops again.

JR: YES! It's on! PRL is gonna put the belt on the line!

Jesse: JR, do you see what a fightning champion Puerto Rican Lightning is! Putting the belt on the line even though he doesn't have to! That's the kind of champion that's missing in today's wrestling world.

PR: But Jay, get ready. Because just because you're new doesn't mean I won't take it easy on you. To me, you are another jobber. To me, you are just a loser. To me you are a NOBODY! And I am going to show the world, I'm going to show the OAOAST, I am going to show Mad Cappa that I am the best Champion in the world today! Hell, I am the greatest wrestler that ever lived. And when it is all said and done, you too will suffer the P.R. Nightmare! So, Jay, pleasant dreams while they last. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

"Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine starts playing as the P.R.'s image leaves the AngleTron and we get a crowd shot. The crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!"

JR: Well, it looks like we'll be having a slobberknocker tonight folks! Stay tune for the Puerto Rican Championship match right here on IntenseZone!

Jesse: PRL is indeed the greatest champion that ever lived.

JR: Will you stop?!

:: Cue "Red" By Treble Charger as Undisputed makes his way down the ramp, to a decent pop from the crowd::

:: 'Theme from 2001' starts up, as Andrew 'Your Hero' Hyland, the reigning North American champ, enters the Arena, to a mixed reaction ::

:: The bell sounds ::

Undisputed and Andrew lock up, then break, with neither man gaining an advantage. A second attemt yields the same result. Andrew decides to forgo the technical side of things, and punches Undisputed in the mouth. A brawl ensues, and Undisputed ducks a punch, and follows up with a backdrop suplex. Undisputed begins to put the boots to the champ, and poses to the crowd.

JR: Bah Gawd, Jesse, he's like a Hoss that does stuff!

Jesse: He's a lil' saucy too, JR.

Undisputed picks Hyland up, and whips him into the ropes. He goes for a dropkick, but Hyland hangs onto the ropes. With Undisputed down, Andrew drops an elbow, and begins to go to work on Undisputed's neck with various holds, in order to set up the Hero Driver.

Suddenly, PR Lighting and his bodyguard rush into the ring, and begin to put the boots to Andrew and Undisputed! PR picks Andrew up, and Plants him with The Annexation of Puerto Rico!

JR: Now what the hell is THIS all about?!

Jesse: Something about annexing Hawaii or something . . .

::He grabs a mic ::

"Last week, you tried to take my Puerto Rican title from me. Now, I'm gonna take the North American title from you! I'll see you at the PPV."

[Cut To:]

NEARLY ONE YEAR IN EXILE

THE HIGHEST RATED PROGRAM IN OAOAST HISTORY

DEEMED TOO CONTROVERSIAL FOR TV

THE BODY SHOP...

RETURNS AT LIVING ANGLEOUSLY

THE BODY IS BACK!

LIVING ANGLEOUSLY

APRIL 27TH

LIVE! ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW

[Chanel #99]

::"As Heaven is Wide" plays over the loud-speakers and evenflowDDT is met with boos as he makes his way to the ring, with a mic in hand.

evenflowDDT:

To answer your question, no, I'm not going to waste my breath on another tirade last week. None of you listened, you all went out on a fucking piss break! And those who stayed had ADD so bad that they cheered everytime I said "Zack", totally ignoring all else I said about him. I was going to ask if you were really that stupid, but since you're taking HIS side in this whole ordeal, I suppose so.

::The boos continue, and a "Zack" chant, which began when evenflow first mentioned Zack, grows even louder.::

JR: Well, if you didn't act like an ASS . . .

Jesse: Leave the Donkeys out of this, Ross.

evenflowDDT

But you know what? That's not even why I'm here tonight. I'm here because of two men, tonight, in this very ring... Zack Malibu defends his title against SpiderPoet!

::The crowd pops

evenflowDDT

SHUT UP I'M NOT FINISHED YET! Zack, you took all I had to gave, and then you turned your back on me. You knew that you couldn't beat me, so you brainwashed me. You had my absolute faith... I'm still second-guessing you, I half expect you to come down now and apologize, saying it was all a joke. A sick gag. I'd still be mad, but I guess I should know better, right? I laid out my heart and soul for you last week. One last time, I devoted myself to you, let you know exactly how I felt... and you haven't even ACKNOWLEDGED IT? No, instead you're defending that precious gold idol against SpiderPoet. I'm telling you how I feel, I'm trying to work things out, my faith's hanging on shreds here, so you go to dance with SPIDERPOET?!

JR: In a way I can see what he's saying . . . but damn it, that doesn't make it right, 'Flow!

Jesse: Well, you gotta dance with the one that brought ya, isn't that what you say, JR?

JR: Poet didn't bring Zack. Zack Malibu brought Zack Malibu to the dance.

Jesse: Ha! What a loser! Showing up the dance alone!

Well, I hope you don't ignore me this time, because this is it. I've given all I can give; I've naught left but my faith, but for you to flat out IGNORE ME? I've finally realized... you traded me for the title. You stepped on my back and I carried you there the whole time with a stupid smile on my face. Well, if that title makes you feel so proud that you'll give title-shots to anyone on a lark, because winning it again and again makes you feel better, instead of dealing with those who really help you, really care for you, then I'll make you learn, make you listen, the only way I know... Remember back when we first met Zack? Remember how I kicked your ass? Remember how all was better after that? Because I do. Is that why you've been ignoring me? Because you remember too? Why don't you want to get better? Because getting another ass-kicking will hurt your pride? Well too bad. Pride's a sin you know. But then so is selling out your friends for gold.

That's right, I forget what audience I'm talking to. For the benefit of the audience's attention spans... Zack! Bad! No fight now! Coward! Bad! Can't run forever! Living Angleously... you and me, mano y mano. I'll kick your ass again. I'll kick your ass a thousand times to turn you around again. But why Zack? Must I kill my God to receive my blessing? I'll let you think about that, as you count the days. As you pray for miracles to that gold around your waist and the dollar in your pocket. But it won't save you from me. It's a false god Zack, and no force of man or beast shall stop me from destroying it or destroying you.

Oh... good luck in the match tonight.

::evenflowDDT smirks, takes the "Raven crucifix stance", then uses his left hand to motion for slitting his throat, and leaves the ring.::

JR: Now that just looks, and SOUNDS, ominous.

Jesse: I hope 'Flow gets some justice on Zack Malibu one day, Ross.

JR: You would . . . Fans, earlier today, Michael Cole caught up with The Mad Cappa, who was kind enough to have a few words while he recovers from last week's huge Hell in the Cell Six Pack.

(With an “Earlier today” graphic on the top left of the screen. The Mad Cappa is laying down on the hospital bed while Michael Cole is talking to him.)

Michael Cole: “Cappa, after going through last week, how do you feel?”

The Mad Cappa: “Well MC, I feel like shit!”

MC: “What makes you say that?”

TMC: “That Hell in a Cell match last week took me to the limit! At the end, I just couldn’t get the job done! That match took me out Cole! Hell, I’m still recovering from the match! I had sores and bruises comin’ out, but at least I came out alive! However… (pauses) the reason why I’m still here recovering is because of what happened after my match.”

MC: “What do you mean?”

TMC: “My pride was bein’ torn by Lightning Craptacular and Mr. Rusco! I couldn’t let them continue bashin’ my name! I thought it was over, I thought he won, but they continued! However, I found it to be some sort of sweet poetic justice seein’ Rusco screw over Lightning!”

MC: “So why you still recovering?”

TMC: “I’m goin’ to ignore that idiotic comment. Well, I was still in the zone and I decided to take the opportunity to go out there and make my rebuttal known! I went out there to BUST A CAP on the both of them! By goin’ out there, on pure adrenaline, aggravated my injuries, makin’ them worse!”

MC: “But didn’t Vince ask you to take him back?”

TMC: “Yea, he did! I actually thought it over, but when I remembered the times he screwed me over, I had to give him an answer only he would understand! Why that old….”

(Loses feed as the feed gets cut off as another cameraman goes over to production truck as Vince Rusco is paying off the production staff to cut off the feed!)

Vince Rusco: “Good to see that dumb ingrate get cut off! Cut to a commercial!”

(Cuts to a commercial break)

[Chanel #99]

A lightning bolt hits the entranceway as pyro shoots off and smoke covers the entranceway.

Jesse: You know what that means.

The crowd begins booing as "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine begins playing. From the smoke comes out Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. P.R. is carrying the Puerto Rican Championship on his left shoulder and does the gum swat. He laughs an evil laugh and begins walking down to the ring jawing with the fans along the way.

*DING DING DING*

Ring Annoucer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheldued for one fall. And is for the Puerto Rican Championship! Coming to the ring at this time, accompanying to the ring by his bodyguard, Mr. Boricua, and his manager, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, weighing in at 223 lbs from San Juan, Puerto Rico. He is the Puerto Rican Champion, Pueeeerrttttttoooooooo Ricccccccccaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn Ligghhhhhhhtttttttttninnnnnnnggggggggg!!!

Puerto Rican Lightning plays the belt like an air guitar as the crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!"

JR: Crowd not too appreciative of Puerto Rican Lightning.

Jesse: And they should be ashamed of that. He is one of the best OAOAST wrestlers today and the fans are too dumb to relize that!

JR: Maybe they don't approve of Puerto Rican Lightning's actions since he entered the OAOAST.

Jesse: They don't appreciate the great matches he's put on and defending the Puerto Rican Championship proudly?

JR: No, I'm talking about his cheating, his outrageous claims to keep the title--

Jesse: He's just doing what he has to do to keep his most prized possesion.

Puerto Rican Lightning enters the ring and sneers at the crowd before doing the HBK pose as fireworks go off behind him. He goes to the turnbuckle and poses on there than heads outside to jaw with the fans. He heads back into the ring as his entrance theme dies down.

The arena darkens. The crowd pops as they don't know what's going to happen next. Suddenly, navy blue flashing spotlights center on the entrance way as "The Fake Sound of Progress" by Lost Prophets begins playing. The crowd pops as out enters "Shooter" Jay Darring.

JR: And here he is making his IntenseZone debut!

Ring Annoucer: And the challenger. Weighing in at 173 lbs. From Boston, Massachutesetts. "Shooter" JAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY DARRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

The music continues playing as Jay Darring slaps hands with the fans.

JR: This young kid is looking to making a name for himself in the OAOAST and he starts tonight by taking on our self-proclaimed Puerto Rican Champion.

Jesse: What do you mean self-proclaimed? He won the title fair and square in Puerto Rico!

JR: Come on Jes! You don't honestly believe PRL's bogus story do you? Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco proved he brought the belt from a pawn shop.

Jesse: Mad Cappa is out to destroy Puerto Rican Lightning! He set that whole thing up! And besides, Vince Rusco turned on Cappa at AngleMania so now Cappa is all alone! HAHA!

JR: He will lose that belt! And what a way for Shooter Jay's career to start by beating Puerto Rican Lightning and winning the Puerto Rican Championship!

Shooter Jay has entered the ring and is looking right at Lightning. PRL has a look of confidnence as the house lights go back on and his entrnace music dies down. The crowd cheers on Jay and irritate Lightning by beginning the "P.R. Sucks!" chants again. PRL is annoyed and puts his fingers in his ears to drown out the chants. When that doesn't work he slaps his forehead four times. When that doesn't work he heads out of the ring and hugs Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez.

Puerto Rican Lightning gets his cool and hands the Puerto Rican Championship to Lindsay. He gets a kiss for luck and heads into the ring. The camera does a close-up of the belt and once again, some of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez's clevage.

Jesse: You know, JR, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez gets more beautiful by the week.

*DING, DING, DING*

PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP

Puerto Rican Lightning (w/ Mr. Boricua & Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez) vs. "Shooter" Jay Darring

Puerto Rican Lightning and Shooter Jay engage in a staredown. They trashtalk each other. Suddenly, Puerto Rican slaps Shooter Jay.

JR: What a cheapshot!

But Jay comes back with a shove that sends Puerto Rican to the turnbuckle.

JR: What a comeback! And here we go!

Shooter Jay begins laying it on Puerto Rican Lightning on the turnbuckle. PRL is in pain already as Shooter Jay lights him up with chops as the crowd "Woooooooooos!" every slap. Jay then whips Puerto Rican Lightning to the other turnbuckle but there, Puerto Rican Lightning does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron.

Jesse: Quick thinking from our Puerto Rican Champion!

Puerto Rican Lightning laughs and taunts the fans about how smart he is. However, Shooter Jay uses the time to grab P.R. and do the stun gun on him which puts PRL on the floor. The crowd cheers.

JR: What an impressive start for Jay Darring!

Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez come to help Puerto Rican Lightning. Jay doesn't stand there and hits a baseball slide that sends PRL into the barricade. Mr. Boricua throws PRL back in where Darring grabs him and whips him into the ropes. However, Puerto Rican Lightning does a leapfrog over Darring and then a reverse leapfrog than hits a arm drag and a dropkick that sends Jay to the mat. The crowd boos.

Jesse: There ya go! Show Jay why you're the Puerto Rican Champion!

Now, Puerto Rican Lightning goes to work on Jay. He applies an arm-bar while the crowd begin chanting "Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!" PRL yells at the crowd to shut up and he and Jay do some amatuer wrestling. When that doesn't work PRL reverses a waistlock into a Russian Legsweep. He goes for the cover.

1..2..Kick out.

JR: Puerto Rican Lightning now applying a sleeperhold on the newcomer.

Jesse: He is carefully timing his attack. He is weakening him before he can deliever his finishing move. What great planning from our Puerto Rican Champion. I wouldn't be suprise if he challenges the OAOAST Champion, Zack Malibu, someday.

Puerto Rican Lightning puts his legs on the ropes to gain leverage on the sleeperhold. The crowd begins rallying behind "Shooter" Jay Darring and begin chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" but it does not affect Lightning this time. P.R. jams his knees into Jay's back several times but Jay gets up and elbows him in the gut several times. Puerto Rican Lightning heads to the ropes and knocks down Darring with a shoulderblock. But when he goes to the ropes again, Jay comes back with a leg lariat!

JR: What an incredible move by Jay!

Jesse: No fair!

Jay grabs Puerto Rican Lightning and whips him to the ropes again...roaring elbow! He goes for the cover.

1...2...Kick out!

Jesse: Close call.

Jay grabs Lightning again and hits a floating neckbreaker. He again goes for the cover.

1...2...Kick out.

Jesse: It's gonna take alot more than that to put P.R. Lightning down.

JR: Double-armed DDT. But Darring heads to the top rope. He waits for Puerto Rican Lightning to get up...and hits a missle dropkick. He goes for the cover. 1,2, kick out!

Jay then goes for the Fujiwara armbar but PRL kicks him in the face. PRL waits for Darrin to get up...and hits the Shinning Wizard! He picks up Darring and does a snap suplex. He picks him up again and hits a vertical suplex. He goes for the cover.

1...2...Kick out!

The crowd begins booing again and begin chanting "Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!"

JR: The crowd trying to psych out Puerto Rican.

PRL looks irritated but continues the assault by dragging Jay's right foot onto the bottom rope and dropping several times on it. However, Jay puts his foot up and it lands on PRL's crotch.

Jesse: Jay cheated! Jay cheated! That's considered a low-blow JR! He cheated!

JR: I thought you had nothing against cheating!

Jesse:.......

Jay whips Puerto Rican to the ropes and comes back with a STIFF~! superkick.

JR: What a blow!

Jesse: He probalby won't look so good to Ms. Gonzalez after that shot.

Jay heads to the second rope and follows with a Tumbleweed. He goes for the cover.

1...2...Kick out!

Jay looks frustrated but keeps going nonetheless. He waits for Puerto Rican to get up...and hits the Shining Black! He goes for the cover.

1..2..Kick out!

He still keeps on him.

1..2..Kick out!

One more time.

1...2..Kick out!

The crowd is now heavily into it and begin chanting "Let's go Jay! Let's go Jay! Let's go Jay! Let's go Jay! Let's go Jay!"

JR: The crowd 100% behind Jay.

Jesse: Morons.

JR: Jay Darring now heading up to the top. Diving headbutt. But Jay looks out of it to cover.

Jay struggles to get up. The crowd roots for him to get up and when he does he goes for the cover.

1...2...no!!!!

JR: What a heartbreak for the kid!

Jay gets up. He does angel wings on his hands and then picks up Puerto Rican Lightning. He follows with the Foreshadow!

JR: Whatamanevuar.

Jesse: That is called the Foreshadow. Will this foreshadow a victory for Jay.

Reverse Tornado DDT by Jay. He then grabs Puerto Rican Lightning and whips him to the ropes. He clotheslines him over the top rope! Puerto Rican Lightning struggles to get up.

Jesse: Come on champ! Get up! Do it for the millions of Puerto Ricans around the world! Do it for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! Do it for the millions of Puerto Ricans who idolize you!

JR: Please.

Just as Puerto Rican Lightning gets up, Jay heads to the ropes and jumps at Puerto Rican Lightning with a running springboard senton bomb to the outside. The Reckless Endangerment!

JR: The crowd certainly liked that one. And it looks like Shooter Jay can win the Puerto Rican Championship! It looks like it's all over. All he has to do is get P.R.L. back into the ring and pin him! Come on! Come on!

The crowd is going wild as Shooter Jay gets up first and grabs Puerto Rican Lightning. He whips him into the stairs. He then throws him back into the ring. There, he goes for the cover.

JR: 1....2....NOOOOO!!! Puerto Rican Lightning kicked out!

Jesse(almost having a heart attack right there): YES!

Jay picks up Lightning again and puts him in the Dragon Sleeper!

JR: Dragon Sleeper! DRAGON SLEEPER! DRAGON SLEEPER! THIS COULD BE IT!!!

Jay continues putting the hold as Puerto Rican Lightning gets weaker and weaker. He looks to be out of it. The crowd is going wild as Jay puts the hold on stronger.

JR: The referee is now checking on Puerto Rican Lightning. If his arm drops three times, it's over.

The ref puts P.R.'s arm up once. It drops. He does it again. P.R.L.'s arm drops again.

JR: One more should do it.

The ref holds Puerto Rican Lightning's arm up one more time. But it doesn't drop! Instead, PRL looks to be revatilze and whips Jay to the ropes. Flying forearm!

Jesse: Alright JR! You know what's going to happen next! He's setting up for the P.R. Nightmare!

JR: Another Forearm! And another!

Puerto Rican Lightning picks up "Shooter" Jay Darring and whips him to the ropes. Lightning hits the fourth flying forearm. He then kips up! The crowd boos! As Puerto Rican Lightning jumps up and down.

JR: Oh no.

Jesse: He's ready. This is all an adrenaline rush. What a great wrestler Lightning is! He has the heart of a champion!

JR: Funny, I didn't know he even had a heart!

Puerto Rican Lightning heads to the turnbuckle. He begins stamping his foot a'la Shawn Michaels. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3.

Jesse: Here it comes. I can't wait.

He continues stomping his foot waiting for Jay to get up. The crowd anticipates the move. Jay gets up....and Puerto Rican Lightning hits the Sweet Chin Music!

JR: Sweet Chin Music! Down goes Jay!

Puerto Rican Lightning kips up again! He signals to the crowd "THAT'S IT!" and gets in postition.

Jesse: Oh boy, PRL is not done yet. He's going for it! He is going for the P.R. Nightmare.

Puerto Rican stands in position to deliever the P.R. Nightmare. A dazed Jay Darring gets up....and Puerto Rican goes for the P.R. Nightmare! However, Jay holds on and kicks P.R. in the gut. And he hits the Afterthought!!!

JR: AFTERTHOUGHT! AFTERTHOUGHT ON PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!

But Jay is not done yet. He heads to the top rope and goes for a diving elbow drop...but misses.

JR: Last second move by Puerto Rican Lightning.

Jesse: A smart move at that.

Puerto Rican Lightning struggles to get up. He climbs to the top rope. He then struggles to remove his left elbow pad. He throws it to the crowd then does the "UP YOURS!" sign to the crowd. He then follows with the FU Elbow Drop! But he is too tired to go for the pin.

JR: I guess the elbow drop knocked the wind out of Puerto Rican Lightning.

Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez cheer P.R. on. P.R. finally gets the strength to get up. He then goes for the cover.

1............2.............Kick out!

JR: NO! Baw GAWD~! This kid is pretty impressive in his first match!

Jay gets up. He grabs Puerto Rican and goes for Harsh Reality but P.R. kicks Jay in the gut to go for the P.R. Nightmare. But Jay kicks him in the gut and then does the Harsh Reality on Puerto Rican Lightning!

JR: It's all over! It's all over! It's all over!

Jay goes for the cover.

1...2...BUT Mr. Boricua comes in to knock Jay in the head with the Puerto Rican Championship belt. The referee calls for the bell.

*DING DING DING*

JR: No! No! No! Damnit! Jay had it! He almost had it!

Jesse: But he didn't! HAHA!

The crowd begins booing and chanting "BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!" as Mr. Boricua and Puerto Rican Lightning begin beating down on "Shooter" Jay Darring. Mr. Boricua does a powerbomb on Jay.

Jesse: You see this?! This is what happens when you mess with Puerto Rican Lightning!

JR: Stop it! Stop it! He is just a kid! Does Puerto Rican Lightning have a heart?! Why? STOP IT! STOP IT DAMNIT!

Puerto Rican Lightning does the P.R. Nightmare on Jay Darring as the crowd chants "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" Boricua does a chokeslam on Jay.

JR: STOP IT! STOP IT!

Jesse: I'm loving every minute of it!

Suddenly, the crowd cheers as Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland enters the ring.

JR: Here comes Andrew! Last week he was screwed out of the Puerto Rican Championship by Puerto Rican Lightning!

Jesse: Hey, he used the cane! He didn't win the belt fair and square!

Hyland beats down on Puerto Rican Lightning! Right and left hands that send Puerto Rican Lightning out of the ring! He celebrates but Mr. Boricua grabs him and does the Baldo Bomb on Andrew!

JR: Damnit! Andrew is down!

Jesse: He should have never even entered the ring JR.

JR: Now, PRL is back in and he and Mr. Boricua are beating down on Andrew and Shooter Jay.

The crowd boos but they turn into cheers when suddenly making a suprise appearance is the Mad Cappa!

JR: It's Mad Cappa! It's him!

Jesse: What? I thought he was in the hosptial! What the hell is going on!

JR: He is going right after Lightning but I don't think Lightning is too happy to see him.

Cappa enters and goes right into beating down on P.R.L. He also goes after Mr. Boricua. BUST A CAP! on Mr. Boricua! BUST A CAP! He then goes after Lightning. He whips him into the ropes and goes for the BUST A CAP....but P.R. reverses and escapes.

Jesse: Close call.

JR: No fair! PRL chickened out.

Jesse: He did not chicken out. He made a smart decision.

Puerto Rican Lightning takes the Puerto Rican Championship and leaves with Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. The Mad Cappa has cleared the ring and goes to help Shooter Jay and Andrew Hyland.

Ring Annoucer: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match as a result of a disqualification...."Shooter" Jaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy Darrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggg!!!

The crowd cheers.

Ring Annoucer: But STILL Puerto Rican Champion, Puerrrrrrrttttttttooooooooooo Ricccccccaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn Lighhhhhhhhtttttttttttnnnnnnnninnnnnnngggggggggggggggg!!!!

The crowd boos as Puerto Rican Lightning raises the Puerto Rican Championship belt. "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine plays as he leaves leaving Mad Cappa alone with Andrew and Jay. Jay and Andrew get up and shake hands with Cappa. Cappa raises them both as "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)" by DJ Kool plays as the three stand in the ring alone. The crowd begins chanting "Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa!" The three leave together to the cheers of the crowd.

JR: Mark my words, Jess, one of these days, The Mad Cappa will beat Puerto Rican Lightning and win the Puerto Rican Championship! Mark my words!

Jesse: In your dreams! Mad Cappa can't beat Lightning! It's a proven fact!

JR: Will you stop?!

::Commercial Break::

[Chanel #99]

We come back from commercial to backstage where we head to an IntenseZone interviewer.

Interviewer: I am here backstage to try and catchup with the Puerto Rican Champion, Puerto Rican Lightning following his chaotic match just a few minutes ago. Oh wait, here he comes.

Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are shown backstage. They all are unhappy and pissed off.

Interviewer: Puerto Rican Lightning. Puerto Rican Lightning.

Puerto Rican Lightning(annoyed): What?!!!

Interviewer: Puerto Rican Lightning, it seems that since AngleMania II, The Mad Cappa has been gunning for you and your Puerto Rican Championship yet you have yet to face him in the ring. Will you now fight him in a one-on-one match-up?

Puerto Rican Lightning: Face Cappa? You mean me, Puerto Rican Lightning, the greatest Puerto Rican Champion of all time, take on, The Mad Cappa? You mean me? Moi? I'm sure that's what you and the fans all want right? I'm sure that you all want to see me take on The Mad Cappa in a one-on-one match-up for the Puerto Rican Championship? Is that what you fans want?

The fans pop and anticipate Puerto Rican Lightning's anwser. Puerto Rican Lightning hesistates and has a look of fear on his face. He gulps than says.

PRL: Well, I don't give a crap about what the fans want! I only care about what I, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez want! And I say no! I say I WILL NOT give Mad Cappa a Puerto Rican Championship Shot! I repeat. I WILL NOT GIVE THE MAD CAPPA A SHOT AT THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

The crowd boos. P.R. Lightning smiles.

P.R. Lightning: But I'll tell you what. Since I am such a nice guy, I'll gladly have a match with Cappa. BUT, I need some backup because, uh, um....I want alot more people involved. Yeah, yeah, that's it. I think. Uh....anyway. So, how about, next week on IntenseZone, let's have....a SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH!

The crowd pops.

PRL: That's right! Next week, I and two partners of my chosing will take on you, Mad Cappa, and two partners of your chosing! But, you better find two GREAT competitors in the OAOAST, because I have in mind, two of the best OAOAST wrestlers (besides myself) to be on my side. And, if you are so lucky enough to pin me! And I said PIN ME! Not my partners, I'll GLADLY give you a shot at the Puerto Rican Championship in the near future! BUT ONLY ME! If you pin me, you got a shot, if not, then no! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! So, say your prayers, train, and eat your vitamans because you will need all your strength in next week's match. Because I will hurt you and will make you wish you never messed with me. Watch out when the lightning strikes because it will strike on you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on let's go!

Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez leave as "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine begins playing. The crowd boos and chants of "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" are heard.

JR: What a barn burner we'll have next week on IntenseZone!

Jesse: Indeed, JR. A six-man tag match. But who will PRL's and Mad Cappa's partners be? Anglesault? K-Money? SpiderPoet? El Dandy? Black Widow?

JR: Who will Mad Cappa's partners be? Zack Malibu? EvenflowDDT? The Mystery Weirdness Connection? Corbainwasmurdered?

Jesse: Whoever it'll be, one thing's for sure, Cappa will never get a title shot!

JR: Never say never Jess.

Cut to the annoucer table.

Jesse: PRL will always be Puerto Rican Champion! Cappa will never get a title shot.

JR: That's only because Puerto Rican Lightning is afraid of The Mad Cappa!

Jesse: No he is not! He just thinks he's unworthy of a title shot.

JR: You gotta be kidding me! Cappa almost had the Puerto Rican Championship at AngleMania! He only lost because of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez's stripping and Vince Rusco's cane shot!

Jesse: That's not true! Cappa lost because he's a loser! A nobody!

JR: Shut up! Puerto Rican Lightning is afraid of The Mad Cappa! You know it! Bah Gawd we'll be right back. THE PREP and THE POET! ONE - ON - ONE! And it's NEXT. ONLY on IntenseZONE!

(Commercial Break)

[Chanel #99]

BRRREEEEEAAAAAAAK!

TEAR AWAY hits and the crowd erupts in boos as SPIDER POET appears on the stage, with a subdued Black Widow in tow. His Tag Team Championship belt is fastened around his waist as he stops at the top of the ramp and looks around, smirking at the crowd. He is dressed in black tights with red webs running along them, and a “shirt” that is a big chain-mail like web. Poet makes his way down the ramp halfway, raises two fingers to the sky, and slams them down in a “tilde-BANG~!” gesture as pyro explodes behind him on the stage. He continues on down to the ring and hits the turnbuckle, pointing and berating a young fan at ringside after throwing his arms up as the chorus hits.

The music dies down and SP sheds the chain-mail-web and his tag belt and hands them to the ref while the music dies down and the lights fade to pitch black.

How can you see into my eyes, like open doors . . .

The opening to “Bring Me To Life” plays over the sound system, and murmur builds to a loud buzz of anticipation for this man:

BOOM!

WAKE ME UP

WAKE ME UP INSIDE . . .

OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion ZACK MALIBU appears on the stage and the packed house hit their feet, an ear shattering pop erupting for the Pissed Off Prep! Zack allows a warm smile as he adjusts the World Championship Belt slung over his shoulder and holds Alison close at his side. They survey the cheering arena for a moment and make their way down to the ring, a bright blue spotlight keeping pace with them. Zack hops up to the apron as Alison comes up the steps, and he eyes SP wearily, who smirks from across the ring and throws up his hands mockingly. Zack returns the smirk and sits on the second rope as Alison enters the ring. They hit the turnbuckles and the crowd’s volume amps up another notch. Finally, Alison smiles and kisses him on the cheek before making her exit, which SP sneers at as Zack eyes him, handing the World Title belt to the referee.

The bell rings and we’re good to go here for our IntenseZONE Main Event!

Lockup in the middle of the ring and both men struggle to best the other, but SP breaks it by breaking out a vicious HEADBUTT to Malibu, who bumps but gets back to his feet quickly for the face off and another lockup. Malibu bests Poet fairly this time and locks in a headlock before shooting Poet off into the ropes. On the return Poet twists and drops, sliding between Malibu’s legs and springing to his feet behind him. Malibu whirls into a quick right hand from Poet, who quickly shoots Malibu to the ropes but Malibu ducks SP’s clotheline attempt, turns around and gets a hard DROPKICK on POET!!

Poet, dazed, hesitates and Zack is on it, pulling him to his feet. Poet recovers - or was he playing possum? - and yanks Zack’s feet out from under him! Zack on his back now with Poet holding his legs, and Poet grins and wraps Zack up in a SHARPSHOOTER! Too close to the ropes and Zack snags the bottom rope before any damage can be done. Poet doesn’t want to let go but the ref forces it, causing Poet to push him back and point at him, agitated. While he’s occupied, Malibu is to his feet, and he rears back into the ropes, running towards Poet - BULLDOG! Good thing the ref got outta the way. Zack is up and he hauls Poet up enough to show that he’s got a submission or two up his sleeve as well – CALIFORNIA DREAM!

Zack’s got it in good and Poet’s not positioned close enough to the ropes to get to them with his hands. This could very well be it to clinch this one early. SP is grimacing in pain, trying to flail his arms as best he can, anything to bust free. Zack’s shaking his head, though, not willing to give the opponent an easy break. Finally, with a very loud, prolonged grunt, Poet lifts his left leg and flails it out to the side - lands on the rope! The ref alerts Malibu, who drops the submission. SP hits the ground and arches his back, holding it. Clearly, damage has indeed been done. Zack has maneuvered a few paces away while SP slowly reaches to the ropes to pull himself up against the protests of his back, and is signaling for . . . School’s Out?

Spidey pulls himself to his feet and Zack comes in with a SCHOOl’S OUT but SP scouts it and dodges and Zack is HUNG UP IN THE ROPES, his leg now slung over the top rope awkwardly. SP is on the move, wrapping his arms around Zack’s mid-section before he can get free, quick GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB on the Prep!

JR: These two are breaking out the big moves, maybe testing one another out early on. Something you generally don’t see from these two, Jesse.

Jesse: Well, JR, the last time they met it was a hell of a contest. I think these two like ring time together on some level. Like seeing what the other will take, will do.

Poet goes for the pin but Zack kicks out at 1 ½. The gas tank is clearly nowhere near empty. Poet sneers and lashes out with a quick series of boots to the mid-section of Malibu before picking up his leg – SHARPSHOOTER! SP is locking in the SHARPSHOOTER again to a very loud chorus of boos! Zack isn’t so near to the ropes this time, and SP has it locked in tight, repaying the favor for the California Dream from just a little bit ago. The ref is on the mat now, asking Malibu while Poet yells profanities. Malibu refuses to give, and begins a slow crawl towards the ropes. Poet can’t hold him back and Malibu snags them. The ref is all over Poet, who finally releases, but doesn’t make the same mistake as last time in giving Malibu time to recover.

Poet is on him with a hard forearm to the back of the head as the Prep tries to pull himself up. SP grabs one of his legs and yanks it up before SLAMMING it to the mat hard. SP grabs the leg again but Zack rolls to his back and kicks SP in the chest, breaking his grip. Zack scrambles to his feet and blocks Poet’s attempts at punching him, and lands a hard right hand, and a second, before quickly snagging SP’s arm and firing him off over the top of the ropes. SP SKINS THE CAT and ROLLS BACK OVER THE TOP! He locks his legs around Zack’s neck – HURRICANRANA!

Poet looking to capitalize, he quickly makes for the top rope, signaling for the SpidahSault with a very big grin. He wastes no time launching but ZACK GETS HIS KNEES UP! Poet hits and flails back, clutching his ribs as he hits the mat. Malibu gets to his feet quickly and goes to haul Poet up, but Poet strikes with desperate forearms to Zack’s ribs, stalling him long enough for SP to gain his footing and nail him with a right hand. Looking to buy time, Poet grabs Malibu by the arm and shoulder and whirls him to the nearby ropes, looking to sling him over but MALIBU SKINS THE CAT! He hooks HIS legs around SP’s neck in headscissors! ZACK FLIPS SP OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE and LANDS UPRIGHT ON THE APRON!

SP knows he’s in trouble as the crowd’s volume rises, and he wastes no time trying to scramble to his feet. Malibu is on it, running down the apron - FLYING CLOTHESLINE to Poet on the outside!

JR: BAH GAWD, ZACK MALIBU IS IN CONTROL!

Jesse: Oh come on, Ross, it’s a clothesline!

JR: A clothesline with more heart and SOUL than Spider Poet has EVER displayed, Jesse!

Zack rolls Poet into the ring now, favoring his right knee a little bit, no doubt from the Sharpshooters and Poet’s attacks on them. In the ring, Poet seems dazed, but he’s trying to get to his knees. Malibu slides in, and a chorus of boos alerts him that something is up. He looks up just in time to see EL DANDY~! sliding into the ring and clobbering the ref with a stiff forearm to the back of the neck! He never saw it coming! Dandy comes at him with a series of stiff chops, but Malibu reverses and lays in with chops of his own before Dandy boots him in the stomach. Dandy goes for a quick DDT, but Malibu wraps his arms around him and FLAPJACKS him into the ROPES! Dandy rebounds back and lands hard before rolling out of the ring, nursing his neck.

Zack turns and SP is right there in his face, talking trash. The two square off as Malibu voices his displeasure at the run-in. Poet slaps him, and Zack retaliates with an attempt to boot Poet in the stomach, but POET CATCHES IT! Attempt at a Dragon Screw but Zack ROLLS THROUGH! Poet holds on though and tries again, but Zack ROLLS THROUGH AGAIN. THIS time, he NAILS SP with an ENZIGURI! The crowd is going NUTS! Zack moves around and goes to lock in the CALIFORNIA DREAM again as the ref begins to come to his senses, but SP struggles his way out before it can be locked in. He whirls but Zack thinks fast and hits him with a right, a boot to the belly and a POP DROP!

JR: POP DROP! POP DROP! THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT!

Zack makes the cover and the Ref is on it.

1 . . .

2 . . .

ZACK IS YANKED OFF OF SP by . . . A MASKED MAN? The Masked Man belts Malibu across the jaw, cementing the Ref’s need to call this one on interference! The two square off and Malibu has a few choice words while the bell rings frantically. El Dandy is on the apron now, and he LOCKS ZACK MALIBU IN A FULL NELSON AGAINST THE ROPES!

JR: What in THE HELL?! Is this a new Infernale?!

Jesse: Look at that build, JR . . . the clothes . . . who does that remind you of?!

JR: I . . . Jesse, you’re right. That build, those clothes. Even HE wouldn’t stoop to the level of Los Infernales though!

SP is hauling himself to his feet now via the ropes, groggy from the Pop Drop. The Masked Man looks at him and then points to Malibu. SP nods and walks over and slaps Malibu hard across the face. Once, Twice, THREE TIMES, and grabs Zack’s jaw and fires a fair amount of shop talk at him before hooking his arm. Dandy holds on to the other one and comes through the ropes and the Infernales are holding the struggling Malibu while the Masked Man watches. The Ref tries to intervene but the Masked Man shoves him away – Hard. He then signals and the Infernales shove Malibu forward – Masked Man nails a boot and hits an . . . EVENFLOW DDT?!

JR: NO! IT CAN’T BE! CAN IT?!

Jesse: I don’t know, JR. It makes sense!

Malibu takes it like a man and drops to the mat. The Masked Man and the Infernales sneer and leave the ring. The crowd is booing and throwing things at the three of them and at the ring as they stick close and back towards the ramp. In the ring, Zack Malibu looks up, his face twisted in confusion and rage at what has just happened. We fade out as we transition from Malibu’s Rage, to the Masked Man and Los Infernales, wickedly grinning as they back up the ramp.

FADE OUT