Bloody, Battered, and Beaten 2002

[Chanel #99]

PREVIEW OF THE MATCHES!

Big Poppa Popick vs. Tony The Body

Last Man Standing

It's all about control.

Two men have it. Both men want it all.

BPP and Tony have proven for months that they cannot co-exist together. As both men are heads of the OAOAST Executive Department, they have constantly clashed over decision-making and the awarding of title shots. Once Tony threw his hat back into the active roster and the OAOAST Title scene, that was the last straw for BPP.

Both men have verbally and physically attacked each other over the last few months. Tonight, it all comes to a close. Last Man Standing, complete control of the OAOAST on the line.

Two men with power. But only one man can have it all.

OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship

Anglesault © vs. The SuperStar

At Doomsday, the aWo came back, badder then ever.

But, the Deadly Alliance is also back as well.

The Angle World Order is the most fearsome force to ever run in the OAOAST. And this latest version, with AS, AP, CWM, SG, and SM, could be the most lethal version of all.

But the reformed Deadly Alliance, with Alf, TK, and it's latest member, SuperStar, could possibly be the ones to stop them.

SuperStar is still young and inexperienced. He lacks AS' veteran experience. But he does hold a victory over the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion.

Two men from rival forces collide over who shall take control over the OAOAST Title Scene.

Christmas Style Deathmatch

Sandman9000 vs. Alfdogg

At Doomsday, Sandman tried to wipe out the entire OAOAST with his KODM. It was revealed that it was merely a trick so that the aWo could reform and take control, with no one to stop them.

Former OAOAST World Champion Alfdogg has vowed to stop them, and has reformed the Deadly Alliance to do so.

Both Sandman and Alfdogg were members of the older DA, and know each other very well.

The X-Factor is the deathmatch itself. No one knows how an X-Mas DM will go. However, the factor has to go to Sandman, who is a veteran of such affairs.

Two men collide in a deadly encounter to determine who's side takes control.

North American Title Match

Angle-Plex © vs. Thunder Kid

At DOOMSDAY, Agnes earned respect.

He won the NA title from BPP, and the little jobber that could proved that he is a man.

But there is another kid who wants to prove his manhood. A Thunder Kid, to be precise.

At Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, two men, one aWo, the other DA, square off in another matchup with control of another belt and the OAOAST in the balance.

Hell In A Cell

CobainWasMurdered vs. Zack Malibu

Special Guest Referee: Green Mist

Zack Malibu has many nicknames for himself. The P.O.P. American Idol. Among others.

Maybe one should be Rodney Dangerfield. 'Cause Zack gets no respect.

The In Crowd leader has had a #1 Contendership in his possession for months now. But every time it comes to giving out title shots, Zack never gets to go one-on-one. He either gets passed up, or has to fight with others.

Bloody, Battered, and Beaten is no exception. Instead of the current champ, he gets the former champ, CWM.

Both men will be inside the Hell In A Cell. 20 feet tall. A cage with a roof surrounding the ring. One way in, no way out.

Green Mist is the X-Factor. As the man who will be counting to three, he and CWM have made it no secret that they do not like each other.

For Zack, this is proving that he is the man, and that he deserved the chance to go one on one with the OAOAST Heavyweight Champion.

For CWM, this is to prove that Zack is nowhere near Championship material.

For two men, this is about control over their careers.

Grudge Match

Caboose vs. Naz Mistry

Guess who's back.

Caboose was last seen months ago, losing his OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship to Alfdogg. But the former champ made a return at BreakDown.

Naz Mistry, on the other hand, has had a bit of an identity crisis, and at one point, went around calling himself Positively Caboose.

Needless to say, this is not sit well with the Brit, and he has made it clear that he intends to prove that he is the one and only Caboose!

Tonight, Caboose intends to retake control of his OAOAST career.

OAOAST X-Title Match

The Golem © vs. Reject

What the hell has gotten into EvenflowDDT?

After his torture at the hands of the aWo, the X-Title champion has completly changed his image and distanced himself from the In Crowd, as well as the OAOAST.

Reject, however, has found his name to be similar to the amount of respect he is given. Reject intends to change that, and saw that Golem is ripe for the picking.

Tonight, Reject intends to take control of a title belt. But will the Golem let him?

OAOAST Tag Team Titles

Double Tables

Mystery Weirdness Connection (Masked Mystery Eskimo & Jingus) © vs. El Dandy and Spider Poet

Last month at BreakDown, SP and Dandy lost to the MWC.

This month, they try again, this time, in Double Tables.

After Jingus and MME stopped feuding with one another, they formed a team that quickly captured gold. Gold that no one has been able to take off their waists since.

SP and Dandy tried last month, and failed. They earned another chance, and are smarter and better then before.

Not only that, Jingus and MME don't have to be pinned to lose the belts.

The first team to put both members of the opposite team through a table is victorious in this matchup.

For both teams, it's about control in the OAOAST Tag Team division.

[Chanel #99]

Coal Chamber’s “Rowboat” plays as various clips of the OAOAST Megastars in combat with one another flash across the screen. The words “Bloody, Battered, and Beaten” also flash along as well.

The pyro goes off as the sellout crowd erupts. Bloody, Battered, and Beaten is now!

JR: “Good evening. I am Jim Ross, and with me this evening is none other then the legendary performer himself…”

Jesse: “I don’t need an intro from you, Rossie. Everyone knows who I am. The Body does not need to be introduced to a crowd.

JR: “Jesse, I’m only doing my job. Not everyone knows that Jesse Ventura is commentating for us.”

Jesse: “They should.”

JR: “We have a tremendous line-up for you tonight. OAOAST World Champion Anglesault defends his title tonight against The SuperStar! Cobain Was Murdered faces Zack Malibu inside the Hell In A Cell, with the special referee Green Mist! Sandman9000 faces Alfdogg in a Christmas-Style Deathmatch! And in our Main Event, Big Poppa Popick faces Tony The Body in a Last Man Standing match to determine who ends up with all the stroke here in the OAOAST!

Jesse: “Tony’s gonna win. He’s a great kid.”

JR: “Funny you should say that. But first, the OAOAST Tag Team Titles are on the line!”

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST Tag Team Titles

Double Tables

Mystery Weirdness Connection (Masked Mystery Eskimo & Jingus) © vs. El Dandy & Spider Poet

The lights dim as "Short Stories with Tragic Endings" comes onto the speakers. Once it's hard strikes hit, Spider Poet walks out amidst the pulsating strobe lights. He stops at the start of the entranceway and turns, pointing with both hands in a pistol-like gesture towards the entrance, and "Hells Bells" abruptly overpowers SSwTE". El Dandy emerges as the stark electric blue of Poet's strobes shift to the green and black version for Dandy's entrance. The two nod to each other and start their way down the ramp, straightening what pads or gloves they sport. They look focused, ready for this one, folks.

RING ANNOUNCER

Announcing first, the CHALLENGERS, approaching the ring at a combined weight of five hundred and five pounds, EL DANDY and SPIDER POET!

As soon as the young duo are between the ropes, "Ice Ice Baby," hits the speakers. JINGUS and MYSTERY ESKIMO come through the wall of pyro without very much show or preamble. They, too, seem focused, intent on what is ahead of them. They run down the ramp and into the ring, but the Ref holds them back from their opponents to give a run down of the match rules.

JR: “Well fans as we get set for action here, let's review the rules for this match up. There are a total of SIX tables positioned around the ring, one on each side and one catty-cornered by each team's stationary corner for this match. This is an ELIMINATION style matchup, in that both members of a team must be eliminated for the other to gain a victory. An elimination only counts if you are PUT through a table by a contender on the opposing team, accidents do not count here. It looks like our Official has run through that same list now, so let's get going.”

Jesse: “I love table matches. I love it how I’m guaranteed violence. Did I ever tell you how much I love watching people get hurt?”

JR: “Easy boy.”

The bell rings and we're under way. It's Poet and Eskimo to start off. They circle one another exactly twice before moving in for the lock up, and it's shortlived as Poet moves it into a quick armdrag. Eskimo is up quickly, runs in for the clothesline and is met with another armdrag, and Poet's footwork has taken him too close to the corner as JINGUS reaches over and catches him with a quick shot. The ref sees it, moves to give JINGUS a stern talking to, and Eskimo uses the moment to drop and hit a low blow as Poet turns back around to him. Poet doubles over and tries to stumble to his corner for the Tag, and Dandy's reaching for it. Eskimo's quicker than a man suffering from a ballshot, though, and latches on for a quick German Suplex. He rolls it over and picks Poet up for perhaps a second, but Poet returns the favor and kicks backwards, VICIOUSLY, between Eskimo's legs. Quite a ballshot. Both men tumble to the mat and quickly scramble to their corners.

JR: “So far, neither team with a definite advantage.”

JINGUS and DANDY are tagged in at the same time, and the Devilman barrels right for the Tag Title Challenger. He swings, Dandy ducks and delivers a boot. JINGUS stumbles exactly once before leaping forward somewhat and pounding Dandy with a clothesline that came from somewhere, likely a place evern lower than Hell! Dandy is down, but moving to get back to his feet. JINGUS picks him the rest of the way up and hits him with several hard rights. JINGUS picks Dandy up into a press and at first it appears he was going for a Hellbuster, but instead JINGUS is moving towards the ropes, where a table sits on the outside. Dandy sees where this is going and squirms his way around to drop out of the press, and he quickly dropkicks JINGUS in the knee before the big man can turn around. JINGUS falls to his knees, and Dandy runs, comes off the ropes and barrels towards the Devilman, who is trying to get to his feet. SHINING WIZARD! and JINGUS tumbles over. Dandy takes a step back to plot his next move, but the victory is short lived as JINGUS is suddenly sitting up, and moving towards getting back on his feet. El Dandy jumps back and comes off the rope with the intent of a second Shining Wizard, but JINGUS lunges forward and clotheslines him mid-step. The Devilman is up and he picks Dandy up and wraps his massive arms around him, squeezing tightly in a bearhug. Dandy looks to be in incredible pain and finally JINGUS seems to be setting him down, only he quickly lurches and turns it into a belly to belly suplex. Dandy lands flat, and doesn't move right away. As JINGUS moves towards him, though, he reaches up to tag in his partner, Spider Poet who is leaning in as far as he can to catch it. JINGUS is there first, however, and he pops Poet with a quick right before picking Dandy up. He half-drags the exhausted, hurting Dandy back to the other side of the ring and bends him down into position to pick him up for a powerbomb. He hoists Dandy up and it's quickly apparent that he's going to try for a running Powerbomb to the table on the outside, across the ring. Poet realizes it too late to try and mount an attack on the big man so he makes a snap decision that is either foolish or brilliant. He jumps to the second turnbuckle, leaps, and twists, and delivers an elbow across the table to break it on his own before JINGUS can throw his partner through it!

JR: “SP just saved his own partner! What bravery!”

Jesse: “What stupidy! SP taken himself out of the picture, and it’s a 2 on 1 on Dandy!”

JR: “It’s not an elimination Jesse! SP put himself through the table.”

Jesse: “He’s hurt, right? Then it’s a 2 on 1!”

JINGUS spots it, wheels around and turns it into a falling powerbomb. Dandy rolls over and doesn't appear to be going anywhere anytime soon. JINGUS turns and sees that Poet is curled up amidst the remnants of the table himself, immobile for the moment. The monster turns to go outside, giving a glance to his partner as he does so. He finds that he can't quite move, however, and looks down to see that El Dandy has latched onto the lower part of his leg and is either attempting to trip him or lock in some sort of odd ankle lock as he has quite a grip. It is short lived, however, as Eskimo bypasses the ref and puts the boots to the fallen Dandy, who has no choice but to let go. JINGUS moves to the outside, no doubt intent on teaching SP not to get in the way of something he's doing, but as soon as his boots hit the floor, Poet lurches forward and drives the Devilman back into the steel steps. Both are down, nursing their various injuries.

In the ring, Eskimo picks Dandy up and hooks him for what appears to be a DDT, but Dandy pushes Eskimo back and down. ME is on his feet in an instant, and it's obvious that Dandy's fatigue is slowing him down. He swings his right arm for a clothesline, but the much fresher Eskimo ducks it and spins around. He grabs Dandy's shoulder and spins him around and delivers a boot for a second attempt at a DDT, but Dandy reaches down and catches ME's leg and yanks, sending ME onto his back. ME's leg still in hand, Dandy twists and drops an elbow to the abs. He gets to his feet a little quicker this time and takes Eskimo's leg again, and drops another abdomen elbow. ME tries to turn over out of reflex to nurse his abs, but Dandy scrambles around to his legs and locks in a FIGURE FOUR~!.

Jesse: “Why do such a move? There are no submissions here? I want a table!”

Outside, Poet and JINGUS get to their feet at the same time. JINGUS swings a wild clothesline attempt, but Poet dives over and catches JINGUS in a drop toe hold. The Devilman tumbles over and lands across the catty-cornered table. The damage must have been done to the big man's ribs, because he seems a bit dazed as he tries to right himself on the table. Taking advantage of it, Poet, still holding his own ribs from his save earlier on, makes his way to the top turnbuckle. With each step, the crowd's volume rises. He screams at Dandy, who sees him, sees the legal JINGUS pushing up to get off the table outside, untangles himself from Eskimo and lunges the distance, throwing his hand up to tag SP and make him legal . The tag is made as SP is on the second rope and he gets to the top, turns and sizes it up. It's risky, JINGUS is moving off the table. He leaps for a SPIDAHSAULT~! . . .

. . . and JINGUS is up, catching him over his massive shoulder. The Devilman spins, hoists SP up, turns him rightside-up and hurls him down through table with a tilt-a-whirl DEVILBOMB~! of sorts! The ref saw it, SP was legal, and he's now out. He's also apparently in immense pain as he's sprawled, body contorted against the broken table. His eyes are open, squinting, his mouth open in a silent cry of pain, or either his wind's been knocked out of him. JINGUS points at him and delivers a quick boot before turning his attention back to the ring. The Devilman pulls himself up a bit sluggishly, perhaps that collision with the stairs had a little more effect on him than originally thought.

Jesse: “YES! Table! And Spider Poet is gone! Serves him right!’

JR: “Why does it serve him right?”

Jesse: “He was foolish for going through the table earlier, and now he’s gone through another one!”

Dandy is up and meets him with a tired, slow right. JINGUS is merely annoyed, it seems, and he delivers a brutal forearm chop across Dandy's chest. Dandy is lit up and he stumbles backwards, but he recovers and charges JINGUS, slamming him back into the corner. He backs up to attempt another drive to the big man's ribs, but he's caught up in a school boy rollup by Eskimo. It won't win the match, though, and Eskimo quickly releases it. Before Dandy can retaliate though, Eskimo takes his leg and stands, his own legs apparently stiff from the Figure Four earlier. He drops down with an elbow to Dandy's left knee, and stands, sneering to gather a gameplan quickly. Dandy rolls over slightly to nurse his knee, and Eskimo is all over it, lunging down and catching Dandy's arm, locking in the FROSTBITE FACELOCK on the fallen Dandy! Again, not a maneuver that will win the match, but with Dandy's partner down and gone, they can afford to really wear him down now. JINGUS goes back outside, eyeing Poet, who is now in a fetal position a few feet away from the broken table, having crawled away. JINGUS takes the table nearest to him and starts getting it into the ring.

He sets it up and signals to Eskimo to let him go and finish up this match. Eskimo lets go, stands, and pulls a battered, tired El Dandy to his feet. On the outside, SP is stirring, watching what appears to be the demise of a Tag Titles shot.

JR: “Bah Gawd, both of these boys have to be proud of their efforts here tonight, even if JINGUS and Eskino prove to be too much for 'em!”

Jesse: “And they are too much for ‘em!”

Dandy reaches down to the bottom of his boots, though, and fires off a series of rights to Eskimo, trading off and landing enough blows on JINGUS to keep him staggered back at least. He stumbles back and comes off the ropes, perhaps looking to drive Eskimo back, onto the table set up behind him in the ring. JINGUS steps in the way and locks Dandy in a belly to belly position, and this could be it! Somehow, some way, Spider Poet has pulled himself up on the ropes, though, and he springboards off the top with a double ax-handle to JINGUS, causing the big man to let go of Dandy, who falls to his knees. JINGUS and Eskimo go to put the boots to Poet, though, but he scrambles quickly out of the ring as the Ref starts getting involved. With JINGUS's attention turned to SP on the outside, Eskimo turns back to El Dandy, but finds that he's no longer on his knees. Instead, two arms wrap around his waist and El Dandy hoists him up, over and releases, German Suplexing Eskimo back through the table. It's EL DANDY AND JINGUS now!

JR: “What a maneuver! And we’re all evened up here!”

Jesse: “I wouldn’t say so! Jingus is more then man enough to manhandle Dandy!”

SP has crawled back into the ring now, but JINGUS and SP are no longer divided by the Ref as he's turned his attention to signaling Eskimo's expulsion from the match. He checks on both Eskimo, who seems hurt and stunned at what happened, and Dandy, who apparently mustered his last wind to take Eskimo out. Meanwhile, JINGUS has had enough of SP and he hits the smaller man with a succession of rights before picking him up and throwing him over the turnbuckle, through the other cattycornered table outside. SP bundles up and is uncocnious, tangled in broken table debris. The Devilman is sick of these challengers now, and he turns his attention to El Dandy, who is starting to stir. JINGUS picks him up and moves towards the far side of the ring, where one of the remaining tables lies. He rather effortlessly kicks Dandy out of the ring under the ropes, and the bruised, exhausted Dandy tumbles to the outside in a heap. JINGUS goes through the ropes and steps down the outside and reaches for Dandy, and slowly drags him up to a standing position. He bends Dandy over and sets him up for a DEVILBOMB. He hoists Dandy up, but DANDY STARTS POUNDING ON JINGUS'S HEAD! JINGUS stumbles back towards the table and maybe there's hope yet for these young challengers to take some gold home tonight! JINGUS stumbles around to try to just hurl Dandy down through it, but Dandy gets lose enough to try and fall back, snatching a head full of JINGUS hair to try and X-FACTOR him through the table. JINGUS is big, strong, and stable, though, and he catches Dandy before Dandy can follow through and drag him off balance and over. His arms struggle for a moment as he locks in a bearhug on Dandy and straightens up before turning it into a SPINEBUSTER through the TABLE to finish off this team and end this match!

Winners: MME and Jingus @ 12:32

Via: Elimination, Jingus puts Dandy through table.

Dandy is apparently as unconscious as is his tag partner a few feet away. JINGUS moves to the ring to check on his own partner. He helps him up as the Ref hands them their belts.

JR: “Both of those boys gave it a good go, but MME and Jingus were just too much for them.”

Jesse: “MME and Jingus look to be unstoppable! Who in the OAOAST can take the belts off of those two?”

JR: “I don’t know, and it may be no one! But what I do know is that the X-Title is on the line next!”

Promo

T-SHIRTS! GET YER T-SHIRTS!

aWo! Deadly Alliance! In Crowd! BPP! Tony The Body! All of yer favorite OAOAST Megastars!

Anglesault’s “Crazy” t-shirt! BPP’s “Don’t Cross The Boss” t-shirt! Zack’s “I Love Myself!” t-shirt! SuperStar’s “Leg Shaving Is Not Only For Females And I Don’t Do It That Often So Stop Beating This Joke Into The Ground!” t-shirt! And Sandman’s “My Attitude Sucks!” t-shirt! Among others!

Order now! Each shirt is only $24.95, and in this special during this PPV only, order 3 t-shirts for only $70.00! What a deal!

Get yer official OAOAST t-shirts now! Operators are standing by!

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST X-Title Championship Match

The Golem © vs. Reject

The arena goes black as “I used to think that the day would never come…” plays over the speakers to a small pop. It fades into “If I Was Santa Claus” as a single spotlight shines from behind as The Golem heads towards the ring. The house lights go up as he enters the ring and stands in the midst of the ring.

Golem: “As many of you have probably noticed, my role as of late hasn’t been as… pronounced as I’d like. The sick creatures who created me and left me are still running rampant, creating that which is natural to a being as imperfect as a human – unbridled chaos. Chaos for what… money? Greed? Respect? Or is it one of these? [The Golem takes his X-Title belt off]

A title is an invention of humanity. It’s supposed to symbolize that one is the best, which is ironic since no one who has worn it has ever done anything to merit such praise. But what is it? A worthless hunk of metal, design ever changing, wearer always changing, always meaning nothing. Perhaps resting with a person as fickle and worthless as itself, who cheats to gain it and breaks just as many rules to retain it, a title means something… but this? This is a reminder of how foolish humanity is, how quickly they break the second commandment, to throw themselves, their monies and their worship onto anyone wearing something shiny. These men are but false idols in their own minds, false idols who have never struggled and think because these trinkets they claim to have earned are shinier than another man’s trinket it symbolizes perfection. As one who is above humanity, created from hatred with no soul to hinder me, I realize that I don’t covet such a useless possession; I don’t have to waste my life fighting for some material item to prove my superiority to myself. Men work themselves to death, become wrapped up in paranoia, destroy themselves over nothing! This belt is nothing! It means nothing to me, and it shouldn’t to you; if it sat upon the waist of some trashy reject, it’d…”

“Hate Me Now” by Nas cuts him off as Reject, armed with a mic and a dastardly smirk, arrives on the ramp.

Reject: “You rang? [The crowd boos]

Shut your god-damn mouths! Oh, look at that, I just broke a commandment. Did I hurt your feelings Mr. Big Bad Golem man? Listen you son of a bitch, you tramp around here with this holier than thou attitude, boring everyone to death with this crap that you’re some perfect being. What the fuck have you ever done? What the fuck have you ever proved? You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth and your daddy’s fist up your ass, you buy your way into the company, you buy your way into a title, the aWo does what somebody should’ve done a long time ago, beat the shit out of you until you break down, cry, and quit, so that makes you perfect? Well then I hope you’re prepared to become even more perfect tonight! Oh, and since that title means so little to you, I’ll be glad to take it off your hands and show you what it really means to be nothing, to be REJECTED!”

[Reject rushes the ring as the bell sounds and a ref starts the match]

Reject loses none of his initial velocity as he slides into the ring and, going low, sweeps a surprised Golem right off his feet! The Golem gets up but is met with a series of kicks to the gut by Reject. Reject whips The Golem into the ropes, but The Golem smashes him with a clothesline and picks him up for a series of backbreakers. He grabs Reject to end it early with No Shelter, but Reject struggles and, planting his feet in The Golem’s upper torso, flips out and lands on his feet to a small pop for his athleticism. He notices this and flips off the crowd, drawing some boos and turning back to barely dodge a SPEAR~! from his foe. The Golem goes through the ropes to the outside, and after a few seconds stands up, apparently unfazed. A few seconds, however, is all Reject needs to take advantage, which he does by coming off the ropes and over the top with a suicide dive onto The Golem!

JR: “And so far, this match as been all Reject!”

Jesse: “Yeah, but can he keep up the pace? We all know how much pain Evenf… I mean Golem, can take!”

The ref begins a standing 10-count, as both men start to stir. The Golem is somehow first to his feet, and briefly puts his hand over his ribs before whipping Reject into the ropes and dragging him into the ring to break up the count. He sets Reject up on the top rope, and hooks him up for a super-plex, but Reject shoves him off, delivering a top-rope legdrop and the first cover of the contest for 1…2..Golem kicks out! Reject is quick to continue the assault, coming off the ropes and cartwheeling into a Rolling Thunder variant and another cover for 1…2…Golem kicks out again! Reject doesn’t lose his cool, instead stomping away on his opponent until the ref pulls him off and the two argue as The Golem makes his way to his feet and grabs the distracted Reject for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He puts one foot on Reject’s chest and crosses his arms as the ref counts 1…2…Reject kicks out!

JR: “Golem isn’t looking to great here Jesse. He just doesn’t look interested.”

Jesse: “He never looks interested in anything! You gotta do better then that to out-analyze me, JR!”

The Golem delivers a piercing glare to the ref and backs him into the corner, as Reject gives him a spinning heel kick to the back, knocking The Golem into the ref! The Golem recovers and catches Reject with a CHOKESLAM~!, only to notice the ref is out. The Golem looks around, then grabs his X-Title to inflict some extra damage while it’s good and kosher. Unfortunately, he misjudged Reject’s recovery time, as Reject ducks a title shot and delivers a Rejection, knocking the X-Title back into The Golem’s face! For the first time in the match, The Golem is down for enough time for Reject to place the X-Title on his chest and dash to the top… corkscrew moonsault! The ref still down, Reject taunts the crowd then goes for The Golem’s mask!

Jesse: “Why is Reject going for the mask? We all know who is under it! It’s like trying to rip the mask off of Rey Mysterio Jr.! It makes no sense!”

The Golem gets up and the two struggle. Reject manages to untie The Golem’s mask, paralyzing his foe and enabling him to drive The Golem onto the mat with a crushing face-buster! The ref begins to stir as Reject covers, and crawls over for a 1…..2…..The Golem gets a shoulder up! Pissed about the slower count, Reject lifts the ref by the shirt and curses at him. He turns back around to see The Golem sitting up, and kicks him in the back of the head, sending his opponent back down. He drags The Golem over to the corner, and gives him a Reality Check for 1…2…3.NO! The Golem manages to get another shoulder up!

Reject is furious. He loses his focus as the crowd starts a “Reject sucks!” chant, allowing The Golem to get up and deliver a stiff knee to the gut. He grabs Reject, and the crowd winces as The Golem matter-of-factly powerbombs Reject into the turnbuckle! The crowd is still in shock as the ref motions for The Golem to hold off as the ref checks on Reject. After about twenty seconds, Reject gets up and, though in obvious pain, the ref allows the match to continue. In a rare display of mercy, The Golem motions for Do Discover Truth. He sets it up, but Reject hooks him in a surprise school-boy! He was faking the injury! 1…2…The Golem reverses into a roll-up of his own! 1…2…Reject kicks out!

JR: “Both men have absorbed a ton of pain in this matchup. Whoever strikes first could be the one who wins the match.”

Jesse: “Duh.”

Reject keeps the pressure on by whipping The Golem into the corner and setting him up for Total Rejection. The Golem dukes it out with him and snags a reversal into NO SHELTER OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! Both men are down, and the ref begins a standing ten-count! 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…The Golem crawls over on top of Reject for 1…2…3.Reject’s foot is on the bottom rope! The ref breaks the count! Reject is up, but so is The Golem! Do Discover Truth! 1…2…3!

Winner: The Golem @ 9:32

Via: Pinfall, Do Discover Truth

Golem rolls out of the ring, X-Title in hand. He somberly walks up the ramp, dragging the X-Title behind him. Reject is being attended to in the ring by the official. As Reject realizes that he’s lost, he snaps and attacks the official, throwing him out of the ring. The crowd boos as Reject stomps up the ramp, obviously upset at his loss.

Jesse: “I think that Reject is upset.”

JR: “Really? I couldn’t tell.”

Jesse: “Well, the man goes without a title shot for months. He finally gets what he deserves, and he blows his chance. He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight.”

JR: “And I’m sure that you never cried yourself to sleep.”

Jesse: “Never! Well, once. I saw a tape by this promotion called ECW, no, EPW, no, that’s not right. Wait, it was XPW, and man, the nightmares I had…”

JR: “While Jesse reflects upon his nightmares, let’s go now to Michael Cole who has Tony The Body with him.”

MC: “Thanks JR. I’m standing here with Tony The Body, and tonight, Tony, you finally face Big Poppa Popick 1 on 1, and everything is on the line. Your thoughts?”

Tony: “It's only a matter of time, Popick. You, me...last man standing. You know what...I can't do this shit. I'll see you in the ring in a matter of time.”

Tony walks away, as MC stands there with a dumb look on his face, before the production staff switches back to a stunned JR and Jesse at the announce table, both of whom are clearly not expecting to be back so soon.

JR: “Wel, uh, um. Our, uh, well folks, you never, uh, know what’s going to happen on live Pay Per View. What just…”

Promo

T-SHIRTS! GET YER T-SHIRTS!

Anglesault is standing around, in his official OAOAST “Crazy” t-shirt.

AS: "You’ve have to “Dream On” about being as good as me, but this “Amazin’” t-shirt can even make a “Dude Look Like A Lady!” What the fuck is that last line? My shirt does not make me look female! You little fa…"

Remember, this and all other official OAOAST t-shirts are just $24.95, and during this PPV only, buy 3 official OAOAST t-shirts for only $70.00! Operators are standing by, order now!

[Chanel #99]

JR: “Well, folks, we apologize for everything that has happened in the last few segments. But we do have something special for you now. He’s been gone for months, and now he’s back! Ladies and gentlemen, Caboose’s return match!”

One Fall

Caboose vs. Naz Mistry

JR: “Next up is a match that’s been a long time coming, between a loud mouthed luchadore with an attitude problem and a Legend of our Industry. Let's see how this came about.”

Rick DiFonzo's 'Burning Tree' plays in the background to a sequence of video clips.

Clip 1: Caboose gets low blowed and cheated out of his OAOAST Championship and retired by AlfDogg and Bill Watts. Caboose is escorted out of the building by Security as he mouths goodbye to the fans. (Fade To Black)

Clip 2: Naz makes his debut in the OAOAST to initial fanfare.

Clip 3: A string of defeats sees the fans starting to get on Naz's back.

Clip 4: Caboose shows up in a parking lot and attacks a Parking Attendant. Caboose then attacks Evenflow and Buff & Judy Bagwell.

Clip 5: BPP reveals Caboose to actually be Naz Mistry in disguise.

Clip 6: Naz continues to parade as 'Positively Caboose' as once again the fans turn on Naz for mocking a former Champion.

Clip 7: Naz snaps and launches a blistering attack on the fans for not accepting him. Naz then verbally berates Caboose for no apparent reason.

Clip 8: Naz returns to being himself, but the fans chant 'We want Caboose!' during all Naz's matches.

Clip 9: Naz come out frequently to taunt and insult Caboose.

Clip 10: Naz becomes one half of the Tag Team Champions with GreenMist by playing 'Positively Generation Never'.

Clip 11: Naz loses the tag belts, and is screwed in a N.American Title match against AnglePlex.

Clip 12: A video package announcing Caboose's return at Battered, Bloody & Beaten plays at BreakDown.

Clip 13: Naz comes out and questions whose side Caboose is on, the aWo's or the OAOAST's.

Clip 14: Naz comes out dressed as 'Positively Caboose to taunt the fans. BPP comes out to defend Caboose, but Naz makes BPP question Caboose as well.

Final Clips: Flashes and cuts of Naz insulting Caboose. Before a final clip shows Caboose standing in the ring with a question mark superimposed.

Fink: “The following contest is the no-disqualification grudge match.”

JR: “Who made that call?”

Chop Suey starts up as Naz Mistry walks down to the ring looking very confident. The crowd shower him with boos and taunts of 'BullShitter'.

Fink: “Entering The Ring from San Diego, California, weighing in at 205lbs, Naz Mistry!”

JR: “Clearly those chants are addressing Naz and his comments about Caboose during the last few months and particularly the last few weeks where Naz has done all he can to discredit Caboose's integrity.”

Jesse: “Integrity? Caboose has none, have you forgotten who Caboose is? He is without doubt the most evil and cold hearted wrestler in the storied history of the OAOAST”

JR: “Maybe, but we all know Caboose hates the aWo, so why would Naz claim otherwise?”

Jesse: “Because Naz knows better than you and these dumb fans.”

Naz climbs into the ring and taunts crowd with middle fingers.

Fink: “And His opponent...”

No music plays.

JR: “What’s going on?”

Jesse: “Naz was right, Caboose is nothing but a coward!”

Fink: “And his opponent...”

Still nothing happens.

JR: “We have all been told that Caboose would be here.”

Jesse: “Yeah but has anyone actually seen him or spoken to him?”

JR: “Not that I know of.”

Jesse: “Well then, Caboose never formally accepted the challenge.”

JR: “Why would Caboose not fight Naz?”

Jesse: “Because Ross, Caboose is a coward!”

Fink: “And his opponent...”

JR: “Third times a charm I guess?”

Jesse-'Or three times the coward.'

Again nothing happens. Naz grabs the mic from the Fink and pauses before he speaks.

Naz-'Well I guess I was wrong about Caboose. His real colors aren't red, white and blue like I claimed. Caboose's colors are nothing but shades of yellow!'

Jesse-'Yellow! I love it.'

JR-'Something’s wrong, Caboose would never no show.'

Naz-'Hey Robinson, get in the ring and start the match!'

Charles Robinson gets in the ring and argues with Naz for a moment before calling for the bell.

Naz-'That's right, and count to ten so Caboose is counted out and I officially win the match!'

(CROWD BOOS)

JR-'Does Naz think winning like this will make him a big man?'

Jesse-'You take it anyway you can get it Ross.'

JR-'Maybe, but this is a joke!'

Charles Robinson begins the count and Naz counts along.

'One!'

'Two!'

'Three!'

(CROWD chants 'We want Caboose!')

'Four!'

'Five!'

'Six!'

(CROWD Starts to boo the ten count, and chant 'Bullshit!')

'Seven!'

'Eight!'

'Nine!'

'Te...'

The lights go out.

(The crowd roars)

JR-'What the Hell?'

Jesse-'Uh oh!'

The AngleTron starts flashing random words in white font. A Young Girl's voice is heard saying:

'They took all away by means of treachery, Now I return to teach them No Mercy, I am Vengeful, They Are Unforgiven'.

The Entrance Stage explodes in Pyro as 'Bullets' by Creed blasts over the sound system.

(The Crowd roars again)

A sole Spotlight shines up the rafters and picks out a shadowy figure.

Jesse-'It can't be?'

JR-'It can only be...'

The Shadow starts descending from the rafter's at a quick rate, as the spotlight follows. When The Shadow reaches the stage the spotlight goes out.

The figure's clothing glows in the dark. As the crowd goes insane, the Figure raises his arms and all the lights come back on, revealing none other than...

Fink-'Making his way to the ring, from Derby England, weighing in at 230lbs, CABOOSE!"

JR-'OH HELL YEAH! CABOOSE IS BACK!'

Jesse-'Dammit!'

Caboose dressed in Black and Silver Tights, with black and white face paint and a long black trench coat, stares straight at Naz, and lifts his right arm which is holding a black Cricket Bat. Caboose points the Cricket Bat straight at Naz and the crowd roars it's approval.

JR-'We all know what that means!'

Jesse-'Oh Shut Up!'

Caboose starts to walk towards the ring, as Caboose gets closer the crowd gets louder and louder and louder. Caboose climbs the steps and through the ropes, at which point the crowd is deafening.

Caboose walks right over to Naz in the centre of the ring, and the two stare at each other, with Naz now looking very apprehensive. Caboose drops the Cricket bat, and removes his trench coat. Naz drops the mic and throws a right at Caboose as Charles Robinson calls for the bell again, and the match gets underway...

Naz lands the right but Caboose no-sells. Naz throws a second right and Caboose no-sells again. Naz looks around at the crowd for a moment and backs into the ropes, Naz come off the ropes with a shoulder block and bounces straight off Caboose. The crowd roars as Caboose stands there no selling Naz's striking attacks. Naz pulls himself up and offers his hand to Caboose. Without hesitation Caboose takes Naz's hand and squeezes it. Naz falls to his knees and screams in pain as Caboose continues to squeeze Naz's hand.

JR-'You think maybe Naz is regretting messing with Caboose Jesse?'

Jesse-'Oh shut up Ross!'

Naz stands up and tries to whip Caboose into the ropes but Caboose stands still. Naz tries to whip Caboose again, but again Caboose remains still. Finally Naz tries to whip Caboose a third time, but Caboose short whips Naz into a clothesline and Naz goes down like a ton of bricks! The crowd explodes into chants of 'Caboose'. Caboose stands over Naz's fallen body showing no emotion and picks Naz up. Caboose signals to the crowd and they cheer as Caboose throws Naz over his shoulder in the Emerald Fusion position. Caboose nods to signal the delivery of the move, but Naz wriggles out and delivers a low blow to Caboose from behind.

JR-'Sonofabitch!'

Jesse-'Hey it's all legal, and watch your language Ross!'

Naz shakes his head and gathers himself as he goes to take control of his current advantage. Naz drops three stinging quick elbow drops to Caboose's chest as the crowd start to boo Naz. Naz gives a 'fuck you' gesture to the crowd after the third elbow drop, which only serves to rile the crowd up even more. Naz picks up Caboose and swings him into the turnbuckles and follows with a dropkick to the back of Caboose's head. As Caboose falls backwards, Naz goes for the roll-up and Robinson makes the count. 1-2-Kickout! Naz sits up, shows three fingers to the referee. Robinson shakes his head. Naz uses the ropes to pull himself up, as Caboose gingerly gets to his feet still a little shaken. As Caboose turns around to face Naz, Naz goes for a Super Kick which Caboose ducks. Caboose goes for his own Super Kick to Naz's open face but Naz ducks as well and delivers a chop block to Caboose's legs. Naz rolls through the chop block leaps onto the turnbuckle, springs off and delivers a Moonsault Elbow drop to Caboose! Naz hooks the leg, 1-2-Kickout again as Caboose gets his right shoulder up. Naz asks Robinson again about the three, Robinson shows two fingers to Naz who shows his frustration by pounding the mat.

JR-'Looks like Caboose is already frustrating Naz.'

Jesse-'What are you on about Ross? Naz has been in control of the match for the most part.'

Naz gets to his feet and starts to violently stomp Caboose. Naz stomps on Caboose at least 15 times he stops. Naz rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair from the timekeeper. Naz slides back into the ring and gives a sharp stomp to Caboose to prep him for the chair. Naz rears back for the swing and comes down with all his strength, Caboose however gets his leg right up and the chair bounces off Caboose's foot and back into Naz's face! The crowd cheers as Naz goes down and Caboose pulls himself up. Caboose stands next to the chair, picks it up and pints at Naz, the crowd acknowledges this by roaring their approval of Caboose's intentions. Caboose goes to strike Naz, but Naz rolls out of the way. Caboose goes for a second chair shot and Naz evades it again. Caboose dummies a chair shot, Naz rolls, but Caboose delivers a quick leg drop to Naz. Caboose drops the chair and picks Naz up. Caboose holds Naz by the throat and asks Naz if this is what he wanted. Naz spits in Caboose's face, Caboose still holding Naz wipes his face with one hand, readjusts and goes to deliver the EndOfTheLine! But Naz counters with a leg trip to deliver an STO! Naz kips up and starts to pose, as the fans boo relentlessly.

JR-'Maybe Naz should stop showboating and just get on with the match!'

Jesse-'Naz knows what he's doing, Ross.'

Naz picks up Caboose delivers a standing dropkick and signals towards the corner. Naz climbs the turnbuckle, pauses for a moment and delivers a 720 Splash! But Caboose pulls the chair in the way and Naz crashes into the chair as the crowd starts to cheer again. Caboose uses the chair to get himself up and pulls back to deliver a shot to the ribs. Caboose stops though, he looks at the Hebrew announce table, and signals the cutthroat to the crowd. The crowd roars it's approval as Caboose picks up Naz and tosses him over the top rope down by the announcing area. Caboose climbs out of the ring and casually throws Naz into the ring steps, sensing he has control of the match. Caboose takes the monitors off of the table and poses for the crowd for a moment. As Caboose turns around to face Naz he receives a scissors sweep onto the steps. While Caboose tries to get himself up, Naz grabs another chair and as Caboose turns around dazed, Naz blasts Caboose with a hellacious chair shot which dents the chair and draws gasps of horror from the crowd. Naz follows up the chair shot by delivering ten or so more shots to Caboose's prone body with the chair.

JR-‘Naz is sick!’

Jesse-‘Hey Ross, you do what you gotta do, to get where you want to go.’

JR-‘Yeah but this is animalistic!’

Naz throws the now bloody Caboose onto the Hebrew announce table and slaps Caboose’s face. Naz slides into the ring, climbs the top turnbuckle, measures Caboose up and dives off the top rope onto Caboose driving him through table with a Shooting Star Press!

JR-‘By god Caboose has got to be unconscious!’

Jesse-‘Naz is simply breathtaking isn’t he Ross?’

JR-‘Talented he is, but I’ve got another ‘B’ word that could describe Naz Mistry.’

Jesse-‘Easy Ross.’

Both men are down as the crowd chant ‘HOLY SHIT’. Not surprisingly, Naz is the first to pull himself to his feet. Naz looks at the destruction he has caused as a sick smile comes across his face. Naz cockily kicks Caboose, and upon seeing Caboose not reacting, Naz staggers across to the ring apron which he lifts up and looks under the ring to retrieve something. Naz pulls out a shopping cart. Naz drags Caboose’s carcass over to the shopping cart and dumps Caboose in the cart. Naz grabs a fresh chair and places it onto top of Caboose. Naz pushes the trolley around the ring and toward the entrance ramp. Caboose starts to stir, but Naz grabs the chair and gives Caboose another smack with the weapon. As Naz reaches the bottom of the ramp, he pushes the chair underneath Caboose and starts to push the cart harder and faster. Naz pushes the cart straight into the entrance structure which ends Caboose flying out of the cart into the structure face first, with the chair following up on Caboose from behind! The spot garners ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs‘ from the crowd as the evil grin creeps back across Naz’s face.

Jesse-‘Not only is the man talented and breathtaking, Naz is a genius as well.’

JR-‘I have to admit that was clever, if not unusual use of the chair.’

Naz again kicks Caboose to check if he’s moving and picks him up. Caboose’s white face paint has all but been replaced with a red crimson, as Naz drops Caboose and picks up the shopping cart. Naz lifts the shopping cart above his head to slam down onto Caboose, but Caboose rolls out of the way of the cart! Naz looks at Caboose with anger, but Caboose pushes the cart into Naz’s legs, knocking Naz over. Caboose kips up on the stage, as the crowd explodes. Caboose drops an elbow onto Naz who lays over the shopping cart. Caboose picks up the chair that struck him from behind. The chair has some of Caboose’s blood on it, Caboose licks the blood from the chair and thrashes Naz’s body with chair shots as the crowd goes wild. Caboose only yields when Robinson pulls him away from Naz who is a quivering mess lying across the cart.

JR-‘I think Caboose has snapped!’

Jesse-‘The man is a monster!’

Caboose holds the destroyed chair above his head and the crowd cheers. Caboose picks up Naz and slams him on the steel entrance way. Caboose then corrects the shopping cart, throws Naz into the cart and starts to push the cart quickly towards the ring. Caboose slams the cart into the ring and Naz is thrown out of the cart onto the ropes which he bounces off, back onto the cart!

JR-‘Ouch that looked a bit nasty.’

Jesse-‘Caboose is a sick Sonofabitch!’

JR-‘He’s giving as good as he gets!’

Jesse-‘Sorry Ross, did you say something?’

Caboose grabs Naz and throws him into the ring. Caboose picks up whips Naz into the ropes, as Naz comes back off the ropes, Caboose bends down, but Naz counters into a kick to Caboose’s face, Naz tries to follow up with a clothesline, but Caboose ducks under, and delivers a soup bone to Naz’s face knocking him over! Caboose mounts Naz and starts to deliver vicious rights and lefts to Naz, who tries to get his hands in the way but can’t. Caboose stands up and points to the corner, Caboose slowly climbs the turnbuckle and signals for the elbow drop as the crowd stand in anticipation, Naz however dives at the ropes, unbalancing Caboose who crotches himself on the top turnbuckle. Naz climbs up and signals the Mistry-Canrana but Caboose head butts Naz in the crotch and goes for a top rope Powerbomb! Caboose pushes off the top rope with Naz in the powerbomb position, but Naz shifts in mid-air back to the hurricanrana position and delivers a ferocious Mistry-Canrana to Caboose! Robinson down for the count! 1-2-...

JR-‘Good Lord that was astounding! That’s got to be it!’

Jesse-‘Stick a fork in it Ross, it’s do...’

...Kick out! As crowd goes from a shocked silence to wild hysteria!

JR-‘By God Caboose kicked out, I don’t believe it!’

Jesse-‘What a slow count by the referee!’

Naz looks at the referee in astonishment when Robinson flashes the ‘shoulder at two’ signal. Naz pleads with Robinson but Robinson won’t have anything of it. Naz looks away then delivers a punch to Robinson! Naz picks up Robinson and tosses him out of the ring as Caboose stirs. Naz leans over the ropes and jaws at Robinson as Caboose sneaks from behind with a Roll-Through-German Suplex! Naz’s shoulder’s are down with no ref. The crowd count to the 1-2-3.

JR-‘Dammit, Naz took out the ref.’

Jesse-‘Naz must have clairvoyance or something.’

Hebner runs down and slides into the ring, 1-2- Naz throws his right shoulder up. Caboose sits up, composes himself and signals the Emerald Fusion to the crowd who start to chant ‘Caboose’. Caboose picks up Naz, throws him over his shoulder, but Naz uses his feet to hook the top rope, and counter into a Diving Reverse DDT!

Jesse-‘What a counter!’

Naz picks up and whips Caboose into the corner, and backs up into the opposite corner. Naz runs into a tumbling back elbow, but Caboose dives out off the way. Naz hits the turnbuckle head first and is held up only by the ropes. Caboose then charges in looking for a Stinger Splash, but Naz counters into a Spine Buster! Hebner makes the count as Naz uses the ropes for the pin. Hebner makes the count...

JR-‘He’s got his feet on the ropes!’

Jesse-‘It’s No-DQ Ross!’

JR-‘Oh yeah.’

Jesse-‘You dumb Redneck Sonofabitch.’

JR-‘Hey!’

1-2-Kickout! Naz can’t believe it as he argues with Hebner. Naz backs Hebner into a corner, and Hebner pushes Naz away. Naz pauses for a second before kicking Hebner in the gut and DDT’ing Hebner! Naz kicks Hebner out of the ring, Caboose taps Naz on the shoulder, Naz swings as he turnsaround, Caboose grabs Naz’s arm and whips him into the ropes. Naz bounces off the ropes and gets nailed with a Tilt-A-Whirl-Driver! Caboose stands over Naz’s shoulders, pulls off an elbow pad, tosses it into the crowd who rise to their feet...

JR-‘It’s time for the most electrifying move in E-Fedding today! The Rafter’s Elbow!’

Jesse-‘It’s just an overblown elbow drop for god’s sake!’

Caboose waves his arms about, runs to his left, bounces off the ropes, skips over Naz, bounces off the opposite ropes, but this time Naz kips up! Caboose readjusts to a clothesline but Naz ducks up and hooks up Caboose into the MystiFyer! Naz pauses for a moment, and smiles as the crowd gasps in horror. Naz drops Caboose with the MystiFyer! Naz makes the cover but there’s still no-referee!

Jesse-‘Dammit where’s the referee?!’

JR-‘It’s Naz’s own fault!’

Jesse-‘What that Hebner and Robinson slow counted him?!’

Suddenly, BigPoppaPopick runs down, slides into the ring and makes the count! 1-2-Kickout! The crowd cheers in relief as Naz can’t believe it and argues with BPP.

Jesse-‘Caboose was down for at least a twenty count!’

JR-‘What goes around, comes around!’

Jesse-‘Shut up Ross!’

Naz rolls out of the ring and goes over to the timekeeping table. Naz throws the time keeper out of the ring as Caboose remains motionless in the ring. Naz finds what he’s looking for, Caboose’s Cricket Bat! Naz climbs back into the ring and waits for Caboose to get up. As Caboose pulls himself to his feet Naz strikes him in the stomach with the Bat and follows up with a shot to the back of the head. Naz rears back for a third shot as Caboose lays on the ground but BPP grabs the bat out of Naz’s hand!

Jesse-‘Who does BPP think he is? It’s No-DQ!’

JR-‘He’s not gonna stand there and let Caboose get permanently injured!’

Jesse-‘Hey Caboose signed the contract!’

Naz gets in BPP’s face, but BPP threatens Naz with the Bat. Naz holds up his hands in surrender and turns away, but then turns back around and kicks low on BPP! BPP goes down, and Naz is left standing alone in the ring, as the crowd boos. Naz picks up the Cricket Bat again he turns to strike Caboose, but Caboose is already standing and delivers the EndOfTheLine! Caboose gets up, the blood still streaming down his face, he picks up his Cricket Bat stares menacingly at the Bat. Caboose waits for Naz to get to his feet, as Naz gets up and staggers to his feet, he turnsaround and sees the Caboose standing blood soaked with the cricket bat in his hand. Naz drops to his knees and begs for Mercy from Caboose. Caboose having no intention for Mercy draws back the Bat, but that’s enough for Naz to deliver a low blow!

JR-‘Naz is an absolute coward!’

Jesse-‘No he’s just a shear genius!’

Naz puts Caboose’s head between his legs and tries to pull Caboose into a Piledriver but Caboose counters into a Catapult! Caboose catapults Naz into the turnbuckles, but Naz lands on his feet on the second turnbuckle! Caboose turns around and runs at Naz, but Naz kicks Caboose stiffly to the jaw. Naz climbs to the top rope with his back to Caboose. Caboose dizzily spins around holding his jaw. Naz springs off the top rope with a Diving Moonsault! But in one fluid motion Caboose catches Naz on his right shoulder, and delivers the Emerald Fusion!

JR-‘What a move!’

Jesse-‘Sonofabitch!’

Caboose cover’s Naz and hooks the leg as BPP wakes up and slowly makes the count...

1-2-3!

Winner: Caboose @15:32

Via: Pinfall, Emerald Frosion

The Crowd Explodes in hysteria as Caboose’s new music plays!

JR-‘Hell Yeah! What a match up! Caboose finally shut Naz up with the Emerald Fusion!’

Jesse-‘Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!’

Caboose pulls himself up as the crowd continue to cheer wildly.

BPP goes to raise Caboose’s arm but Caboose pulls his arm and the two stare at each other.

Jesse-‘Hey look who it is, what’s this about?’

On the entrance stage, CWM appears clapping his hands and appearing to chant ‘Caboose’ with the fans. BPP looks shocked and points at Caboose and then CWM clearly asking Caboose about what’s going on? Caboose doesn’t react instead giving BPP another steely glare. Caboose climbs out of the ring and stands at the bottom of the Ramp way. BPP continues to shout at Caboose as CWM continues to cheer Caboose with a big smile on his face. Caboose looks at CWM, turns and glances again at BPP, before climbing into the crowd and disappearing out of sight as the fans mob Caboose.

Jesse-‘Naz may have lost, but maybe he was right all along.’

BPP stares at CWM, smugly sanding on the stage.

Promo

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BPP is standing around in his official “Don’t Cross The Boss” t-shirt.

BPP: “My t-shirt is the shit. I am the shit! Tony, he ain’t got shit on me! Tony is shit, I am THE shit! There is a difference! Tony is a little ::all sound his lost as BPP’s mouth moves. The ordering info comes up on the screen::

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[Chanel #99]

JR: “Ladies and gentlemen...”

Jesse: “I can’t wait for this matchup.”

JR: “Uh, ladies and gentlemen, this next matchup has been brewing…”

Jesse: “I love the Hell In A Cell JR! I love it!”

JR: “Um, this next matchup has been brewing for several…”

Jesse: “Someone is gonna get hurt bad, and I love it!”

JR: “This matchup….forget it.”

CobainWasMurdered vs. Zack Malibu

Hell In A Cell

Special Guest Referee: Green Mist

The lights dim, and spotlights shine, zipping across the arena. Fans start popping loudly, as the large metal structure that has hung above the ring all night is being lowered.

Announcer:"Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the HELL...IN THE CELL...matchup!"

"Dawn Of The Angry" echoes over the PA system, and the "third man" in this match, special enforcer referee GreenMist comes out to a noticeable pop. Clad in Tajiri-style pants and a referee shirt, he makes his way down the ramp and enters the structure first.

JR: “GM has had some problems with CWM in the past. He will definitely be the x-factor in this matchup. Can GM be an impartial official?”

Jesse: “No.”

JR: “Such wonderful insight.”

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" starts up, and CobainWasMurdered walks out to some major heel heat. Clad in torn, tattered jean shorts and a vintage Nirvana shirt, CWM slowly makes his way to the ring, walking around ringside once and glaring at fans before entering the cell.

"Die Another Day" kicks in, and the camera cuts to the entranceway. Zack Malibu comes out not in his usual frenzied manner, but slowly emerges, looking focused. Zack stands at the top of the ramp as his pyro goes off, shooting blue and gold sparks everywhere. Malibu starts walking down the ramp, looking straight through the cage wall and at CWM.

Zack enters the cell, and an OAOAST official locks the door from the outside. Zack enters the ring, and stares at CWM from his corner. Both men start walking forward at the same time, and come nose to nose in the middle of the ring.

JR: “Good lord, you can cut the tension here with a knife.”

Both men are jaw-jacking, each one daring the other to make the first move. CWM shoves Zack backwards, but Malibu shoves right back. CWM tries a sucker shot, but Zack blocks it and nails a right hand, another right, and a third right that knocks CWM on his ass! CWM charges Zack, but gets taken over with a hiptoss, and he rolls out of the ring. Zack looks out to the crowd, who respond with wild cheers for their favorite in this one, as CWM picks himself up off the ground and shoots Zack "the eye".

Jesse: “Early advantage to Zack. He’s inside of CWM’s head now, which is incredibly important in a match of this magnitude.”

CWM enters the ring again, and both men lock up in the center of the ring. Zack quickly grabs a headlock, but gets shoved off to the ropes. CWM drops down, and Zack hops over him. As Zack is coming off the other side, CWM gets in position for Zack to leapfrog him, but Zack kicks CWM up to a vertical base, then tries a dropkick, but it gets swatted away. Zack quickly tries to get up, but as he does CWM plants him with a stiff clothesline! CWM picks Zack up and drags him to a corner, where he rakes Malibu's eyes across the top rope. CWM corners Zack and climbs up, punching away at the forehead of Malibu. Zack throws him off, but CWM quickly recovers and before Malibu can counter, CWM hits him with a knee to the bread basket, then takes him up and over with a suplex! CWM segues into a chinlock, trying to wear Zack out in the early going, but Zack gets to his feet and elbows free, then Irish Whips CWM to the ropes, and catches him coming off with a picture perfect dropkick that sends the grunge lover spilling through the ropes and to the floor!

JR: “And again, CWM to the outside.”

Jesse: “Zack is outclassing CWM on the mat. CWM is gonna have to switch up what he’s doing, or he’s in for a long night!”

CWM makes it to his feet, but Zack kept an eye on him, and comes sailing across the mat, nailing CWM with a baseball slide. CWM spins on impact, and stumbles face first into the wall of the Cell. Zack picks him up off the ground, and point to the wall of the Cell as he holds CWM by the hair. Zack takes CWM and flings him headfirst, and CWM bounces off the wall of the Cell! CWM gets up on all fours and tries crawling away from Zack, but the P.O.P. is right on top of him, grabbing him by the hair again and pulling him up to his feet. Zack looks to the crowd for approval, as he readies to ram CWM into the cage again, but as he tries CWM puts a foot up on the Cell to block it, then takes Zack by the head and smashes HIS head into the wall! Zack staggers away from CWM, and as he turns back towards him, CWM charges spear-style, taking Zack off his feet and ramming him into the far wall of the Cell! Zack slumps down to the floor, as CWM slicks his hair back. He grabs Zack by the head and pulls him up, then takes him towards the steel post and rams him headfirst into it! Zack falls back to the floor, as CWM stand above him, stomping away. CWM picks Zack up again, and lifts him in scoop slam position, but then takes him and drops him face first onto the ring apron!

JR:"They may not be the most technically sound manuevers, but rest assured, CWM's offense is taking a lot out of Zack Malibu right now."

Jesse: “And there is the intelligence of CWM. I said that he couldn’t outwrestle Zack, so he’s going to have to brawl with Zack instead, and so far, it’s working.”

CWM grabs Zack up off the floor, and we get our first look at the now-bloodied forehead of Zack. CWM picks him up, and tries sending him into the stairs, but Zack grabs the bottom rope, holding on tight. Zack nails a few rights to CWM's cheek, then takes him and whips HIM to the steps, and CWM crashes hard into the metal, tumbling right over them! Zack uses the apron for support as he regains his senses, then hops up on it. Seeing CWM down on the other side, he walks across the apron and climbs up on the turnbuckles, waiting on CWM. As the aWo member gets to his feet, he turns and sees Malibu leaping off the top rope with a bodypress, but CWM catches him and instictively spins around and drives Zack into the ground with a powerslam!

JR:"Good Gawd, Zack Malibu's spine could be crushed!"

CWM rolls onto his back, catching his breath, as he was caught by surprise but managed to turn it back into his favor. He slowly gets up, first to his knees, then stands up, and picks Zack up as well. Malibu gets rolled into the ring, and CWM follows suit.

Jesse: “No! What are you doing CWM? You’re in control on the outside, don’t send Zack back into his environment!”

CWM picks Zack up and whips him into the corner, where Zack hits his back hard against the turnbuckles. CWM charges from the opposite corner and just SMASHES into Zack with a running splash that slumps Malibu into a sitting position. CWM kicks him in the face several times, then uses his boot to choke Zack out. GreenMist calls for CWM to stop with the underhanded tactic, but CWM simply ignores him. Zack, too weak to fight back, gets pulled up by CWM, then brought into the middle of the ring where he gets DDT'd. CWM covers...

1...

2..NO! Kickout at two for Zack!

CWM has a look of disappointment on his face, but picks Zack back up. He sets him up for another DDT, but Zack counters by shoving him towards the corner, then lifting him up and crotching him on the top rope. Zack follows him up, preparing CWM for a superplex, but CWM still has good presence of mind, and shoves Zack off, with Zack landing crotch first across the top rope! CWM then stands up from his sitting position on the top turnbuckle, and leaps off, hitting a flying clothesline that sends Malibu spilling to the apron, then to the floor!

JR: “CWM in complete control of this matchup.”

Jesse: “Nice to see that CWM is taking this match back to the outside, where he has a clear advantage of Zack.”

JR: “You won’t admit that you were wrong about CWM in the ring, will you.”

Jesse: “Just call the match Ross.”

CWM steps out to the apron, then comes down on the back of Zack's neck with an axehandle. He takes Malibu by the head and rams his head onto the apron, and Malibu's blood marks the canvas. As Zack tries to recover, CWM reaches under the ring and pulls out a steel chair, as the crowd starts drowning him in heel heat. CWM sneaks behind Zack, raising the chair above his head, but just as he brings it down, Zack ducks out of the way, and the steel chair meets the steel post! The shock vibrates through the metal, all the way to CWM's hands, and he turns away in frustration. Zack picks up the ring steps, and as CWM returns to try another chair shot, Zack TOSSES the steps at CWM, knocking the chair square into his face! CWM goes down, and the crowd roars in approval, as Zack stumbles back in exhaustion.

JR: “What strength shown by Zack Malibu!”

Jesse: “A cheap tactic. CWM would never stoop to such levels.”

GreenMist rolls out of the ring and tells Zack to keep back, making sure that CWM is still living after that brutal shot. Zack keeps coming, over to where CWM is barely moving, and moves the ring steps aside. Zack picks up the chair, and holds it up for the crowd to see, then brings it down hard across the back of CWM! Hunched over and holding onto the ringpost, we see that CWM is busted open, perhaps via a broken nose, and he catches ANOTHER steel chair shot across the back, falling forward and taking out a cameraman! The camera (now pointed up) catches a GREAT visual of Zack standing over CWM, and bringing the chair down on his back a THIRD time, and we hear CWM shout in agony.

JR:"The viciousness, the drive these two men have to hurt each other, has been building up for so long. The scary thing is, this isn't even half of what they're capable of!"

Back now to a regular camera shot, just in time to see CWM catapulted face first into the Cell wall! CWM holds onto the mesh as his face slides across it, and we see Malibu patting his leg in the background, signaling for School's Out! CWM, blood now drenching his hair, turns towards Zack, and sees the foot of Malibu coming his way! CWM falls to his side, and Zack's kick hits the Cell wall! CWM capatalizes with a low blow, knocking the wind out of Zack, and hopefully allowing CWM some time to recover.

CWM rolls into the ring, while Malibu is "holding his own" so to speak on the outside. Zack rolls in as well, but catches a running kneelift as he enters the ring. CWM drags him into the middle of the ring, and takes Zack, DRILLING him into the mat with a sick piledriver! CWM covers, hooking the leg...

1...

2...

NO! Kickout at 2 1/2!

Jesse: “Damn that was close. I don’t trust that Green Mist in there, JR.”

JR: “GM’s been doing a fine job Jesse. Why would you say that?”

Jesse: “I never trust guest referees. Too easily confused and prone to errs in judgment.”

CWM glares at GreenMist, who makes the "2" gesture to CWM. Angry, CWM starts choking Zack, mouthing off to him, before releasing the choke and rolling to the floor. He takes the steel chair and slides it in, then takes the ring steps as well, and throws them over the top rope and into the ring!

JR:"What on Earth is that sick bastard going to do now?"

Jesse: “He’s gonna make a swingset Ross, that’s what he’s going to do. Idiot.”

CWM gets back in the ring, and sets the steps up right, then sets the chair up in front of them, just under the highest step. CWM takes Zack over to this little set-up of his, and stands on the top step, with Malibu in piledriver position...PILEDRIVER OFF THE STEPS ONTO THE CHAIR!!!

JR:"OH MAH GAWD!!! ZACK MALIBU COULD HAVE A BROKEN NECK! DAMMIT, CWM!"

Jesse: “If he’s paralyzed, he can’t kick out! Great thinking by CWM! Cover that man!”

CWM, visibly tired from the effort exerted thus far, drapes an arm over the fallen prep. GreenMist gets in position, and starts the count...

1...

2...

3...NO!! NO!!! ZACK GETS A SHOULDER UP!

Jesse: “Dammit!”

JR: “Way to stay neutral.”

Jesse: “Shut up and call the match.”

CWM rolls onto his back, looking up at the lights and wondering what it's going to take. He kicks the chair and steps off to the far side of the ring, then sets Zack up. CWM heads for the turnbuckles, and starts climbing, going up to the top rope. He looks down at Zack, then comes off...TEEN SPIRIT LEGDROP MISSES! ZACK ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! CWM lay on the mat in a daze, and Malibu squirms over to him, dropping an arm on his chest, as GM makes the count...

1...

2...KICKOUT! CWM KICKS OUT!

Zack rolls over, exhausted, as CWM stirs. Groggy, CWM uses the ropes to pull himself up, while Zack forces himself up on all fours. Zack gets to his feet, and comes at CWM just as he's recovering, clotheslining him over the top rope to the floor. Zack steps through the ropes, and onto the apron, and as CWM stands up, Zack leaps off...LEAPING TORNADO DDT OFF THE APRON...NO...CWM holds onto Zack...RELEASE NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX AGAINST THE CELL WALL! The wall of the Cell shakes, as Zack got tosses hard into it, then slumped headfirst to the concrete below!

JR:"My God, the punishment Zack Malibu has taken to his neck, it could paralyze that young man!"

Jesse: “Smart thinking by CWM to target that injured neck of Zack Malibu.”

Zack lay spent on the ringside floor, and now CWM reaches into his tights, and he pulls something out. CWM goes over to the Cell wall near the entrance aisle, and starts pulling on it. The camera tries to get a closer look...CWM HAS WIRE CUTTERS!

GreenMist sees CWM starting to cut and pry away at the wall of the cell, and comes sliding out of the ring, grabbing CWM by the forearm. The two get into a staredown, and GM orders him back in the ring. As they argue, Zack struggles to his feet, and picks up a chair. He staggers quickly, too hurt to run, to where CWM is, but at the last second, CWM ducks out of the way and pulls GreenMist into the way of the chair shot! The referee goes down, and CWM STABS ZACK WITH THE WIRE CUTTERS! HE NAILED HIM RIGHT IN THE FOREHEAD! Zack falls like a sack of potatoes, more blood noticeably running down his face. CWM looks at the damage, and goes back to what he was doing before.

JR:"What in God's name...he's cutting the wall of the Cell down!"

Jesse: “CWM doesn’t need this. He knows that the officiating has been unfair, and that the odds are stacked against him. If I was CWM, I’d leave too.”

CWM cuts along the side, then pushes the wall out, opening a gap that leads to the outside of the cell. The OAOAST official (left outside the cell to keep it locked) tries forcing CWM back into the enclosed area, but he too gets jabbed in the forehead with the wire cutters! CWM goes rooting around under the ring, and pulls out a table! He takes it and sets it up at the end of the aisleway, then comes back in and grabs Zack.

JR:"What in the hell...?"

CWM grabs Zack, who looks to be out on his feet and take him outside the cell, laying him across the table. CWM makes sure Zack isn't going anywhere, and looks up at the structure before him...and starts to climb it!

JR:"I do not like the looks of this!"

Jesse: “CWM is gonna finally end this match!”

CWM climbs higher and higher with every second that passes, until he's about 3/4 of the way up the cage. CWM stops and looks back down, seeing Zack still on the table, and then LETS GO...FALLING BACK ELBOWDROP ON ZACK...NO!!!! ZACK MOVES!! CWM GOES CRASHING THROUGH THE TABLE!

Jesse: “NO! Dammit! CWM, what were you thinking? Dammit!”

JR: “CWM took a BIG risk and it didn’t pay off! What will Zack do now?”

HUGE Pop echoes throughout the arena, as Zack rolled off the table and to the floor as CWM sailed through the air. The crowd starts a big "Zack" chant, motivating their hero to get up and finish this, once and for all. Finally, after a few minutes of regaining composure, Zack gets up and looks at the fallen body of CWM. As he stares at it, Zack motions for...the announcer?

The announcer comes running over with the microphone, and Zack takes it.

ZM:"CWM, you like to get high? Then let's get high together!"

Zack tosses the microphone back to the announcer, and suddenly ZACK starts climbing the cage wall to a HUGE cheer! Zack makes it up to the top, and he starts pacing around on the top of the Hell In The Cell, working the crowd up. Blood-soaked and battered, Zack Malibu sees his nemesis getting to his feet, and finally CWM notices where Zack is. CWM mouths "sonuvabitch" in front of the camera, then starts a climb of his own, as Zack waits on him.

Jesse: “NO! CWM! It’s a trap! Somebody stop that man!”

JR: “This can only end badly, folks. I don’t like this at all.”

CWM starts his climb, but GreenMist is up, and tugging on his leg! CWM kicks him off, then goes scurrying up the wall of the cage. GreenMist, also cut open from the chair shot he took, looks around at the carnage, and then decides that he's climbing up the cage as well!

CWM gets to the top of the cage, followed shortly thereafter by GreenMist,and IT'S ON! Zack comes at him with fists of fury, but a quick eye gouge easily turns the tide in CWM's favor...POLLY CUTTER! OUT OF NOWHERE! CWM dropped Zack with a Polly Cutter on the top of the Cell! He covers Zack ON THE ROOF OF THE CELL, and GreenMist counts, but CWM PULLS HIM UP AT 2!!As Zack lay motionless, face down, CWM takes his wire cutters, and STARTS CUTTING AT THE ROOF!!

Jesse: “NO! CWM, you HAD THE MAN BEAT! Don’t do something else foolish that you’ll regret!”

JR: “I think it’s too late for that Jesse.”

Jesse: “No it’s not Ross! Go up there and tell CWM to stop!”

Again, GreenMist comes over to stop CWM, because no good can come of this. CWM shoves him away, then kicks at him, kicking him so that GreenMist towards the end of the cage! GreenMist hangs on, dangling from the very top, as CWM turns his attention back to Zack and whatever he was planning on doing.

Jesse: “Kick him off CWM! He’s been biased against you this whole match!”

JR: “Stop that. That’s not true and you know it!”

Jesse: “It is true and you’re blind if you can’t see it!”

CWM cuts out an entire section of roof, and the wire mesh falls 20 ft. down to the mat below, nearly hitting the referee, who is still in the ring looking up at these two men. CWM picks Zack up, and points to the opening that he's made. He grabs Zack and lifts him up, Military Press style...HE'S GOING TO TOSS ZACK OFF THE ROOF...NO, GREEN MIST IS UP! HE SPRAYS RED MIST IN CWM'S EYES! Malibu falls behind CWM, but gets to his feet quickly...SCHOOL'S OUT ON THE BLINDED CWM...CWM FALLS BACKWARDS THROUGH THE OPENING! MY GOD, MY GOD, HE'S FALLEN 20 FT. TO THE CANVAS!!!

The arena goes SILENT, not in a bored silence, but in an "OH MY GOD" type of silence. A very small section of fans start an audible "Holy Shit" chant. CWM is OUT on the mat, his body even landing on the wire mesh that he himself cut out of the roof. GreenMist looks down, his forehead bloodied and his lips reddened by the ooze he spat in CWM's face. Zack Malibu collapsed on the roof, seemingly using his last burst of energy to deliver his trademark move to his foe.

JR:"C'mon Zack, just climb down to make the pinfall, and it's all over!"

Jesse: “This is BULLSHIT! I told you Green Mist was biased, and you didn’t believe me! He just cost CWM this match and probably ended his career! This is bullshit and you know it.”

JR: “CWM deserves it!”

Jesse: “How Ross? Give me one goddamn reason.”

JR: “I can give you a million.”

Jesse: “Start talking then.”

GreenMist starts climbing down, calling to Zack to come and get the ping. Malibu crawls towards the edge of the cage, looking as ready as ever to get down from the height. As he reaches the edge of the roof, he stands up, and looks out to the crowd. He then turns, and walks forward a little bit, looking at CWM laying several yards below him. Malibu turns again to go climb down again, but at the last second, turns back and does a slight jog across the roof of the cage...HE JUMPS THROUGH THE OPENING...MOTHERFUCKING GUILLOTINE LEGDROP OFF THE ROOF!!!!

JR:"MAH GAWD, MAH GAWD, HE'S BROKEN IN HALF!!!"

Jesse: “DAMMIT MALIBU! I hope he’s crippled as well.”

MEGA-POP for THAT ONE! CWM is in even more dire straits than he was before, but Malibu is out of gas. Both men lay in the ring, their bodies looking as though they've been involved in an explosion of some kind. Bloodied, battered, tattered, the ring resembles the movie Platoon moreso than a wrestling match. The referee checks both mens vitals, making sure they're still among the living, when Malibu swipes his arm away from the ref. He rolls onto his stomach, and slides slowly a few inches towards CWM. Malibu extends his arm, just barely getting his hand on CWM's chest, and GreenMist hurries into the cage as Zack covers...

1...

2...

3!!!

Winner: Zack Malibu @ 25:32

Via: Pinfall, legdrop through HIAC

"Die Another Day" starts to play, as the fans go wild. Zack Malibu has barely lived to see another day. CobainWasMurdered damn near tried to murder Zack tonight. Despite the hell these two have been through, they've shown the world why they're two of the best. Medics rush down the aisle with stretchers for both of these men, and they're going to need them, as this match truly was Hell for them both.

Jesse: “What a bullshit ending. The Hell In A Cell has been ruined for me. I hope Zack’s crippled and Green Mist breaks his neck sometime.”

JR: “Stop that Jess. A hard fought victory for Zack Malibu, as he proves that he had got to be considered a top contender for the OAOAST Title that is being contested here later tonight!”

Promo

T-SHIRTS! GET YER T-SHIRTS NOW!

Sandman is standing around, wearing his “My Attitude Sucks” shirt.

Sandman: “I’m not doing the fucking promo. Fuck you for making such a bullshit shirt and making me do such fucking stupid bullshit! Fuck all of you! I’m gonna fucking kill everyone here!”

Sandman starts to trash the set as crewmembers run for their lives. Sandman attacks the camera as the ordering info comes up again.

REMEMBER, ONLY $24.95 PER SHIRT! ORDER NOW!

[Chanel #99]

JR: “What a surprise. Sandman ruined another one of our special deals for the fans.”

Jesse: “I think we both can agree that Sandman, next to maybe the Angle Twins, is the least popular person here. I really don’t even like him.”

JR: “And the sonofabitch makes fun of my Ross Reports!”

Jesse: “Exactly. They’re already a joke, why does…”

JR: “Go to Hell. Anyway, next up is another title match, this time, it’s another aWo member, Angle-Plex, putting his North America Championship up against Deadly Alliance member Thunder Kid!”

OaOast North American Championship

Thunderkid vs. Angle-Plex

Ring Announcer: The following contest is set for one fall, and it is for the OaOast North American Championship!

CUE: "God of Thunder"

Lights go off, smoke comes out of entryway, yellow and blue strobes

Ring Announcer: From Every Woman's Dream and Every School Girl's Fantasies, Thunderkid!

J.R: “Here comes #50 of the Anderson High School football team, Jess. Thunderkid plays fullback and middle linebacker. I tell ya, this kid's a hoss in the making.”

Jesse: “I can tell. The cum is dripping out of your mouth giving this kid a verbal blowjob.”

J.R: “And it taste like sour.”

Awkward silence.

Lights go out, aWo appears on AngleTron.

Ring announcer: And his opponent, representing the aWo, the OaOast North American Champion, Angle-Plex!

JR: “Two of the most well known jobbers battling it out for a chance at gold.”

Jesse: “Jim Ross, the buyrates are going backwards. That's how huge this match is.”

* DING * DING *

JR: “And this match is underway.”

AP blindsides TK with a chop-block, sending TK down. AP, with a smile on his face, starts kicking the man while he's down. TK is still stunned by this sneak attack. Belly-to-belly suplex, followed by two elbow drops only gets a two count.

JR: “Angle-Plex trying to finish this match earlier.”

Jesse: “He'll be doing us all a favor.”

TK punches AP in the gut, snap suplex. 1-2-no. Bodyslam, leg drop, knee drop, atomic drop, but not only does it hurt AP, it hurts the wounded knee of TK, whose still feeling the effects of the chop-block. TK irish-whips AP into the ropes, TK ducks his head but AP counters it with a face-buster. AP gets up and applies THE ANKLE-LOCK~! But TK reaches the rope.

JR: “TK reached the rope! How did he do it?”

Jesse: “Simple Ross. He grabbed the rope.”

AP is pissed. The referee is checking on TK. AP starts digging into his tights.

JR: “What's this coward doing?”

Jesse: “After taking the atomic drop, one would assume he's checking his boys. You know...make sure it still works.”

JR: “I heard Anglesault took care of that long ago.”

Jesse: “Ross, do you know you have one sick mind.”

JR: “I love hosses, what to ya expect. Ah, would you look at this.”

AP pulls out brassknuckles and hides them behind his back. AP picks up TK near the ropes and starts flipping the crowd off. THUNDERBOLT DDT~!

JR: “Good God! Good God! Good God almighty! TK just planted AP with the Thunderbolt DDT.”

Ref goes down, one...two...three! * DING * DING * DING * DING *

JR: “We have a new North American Champion, and his name is Thunderkid!”

Ring announcer: “The winner of the match, and NEW OaOast North American Champion, Thunderkid!”

JR: “Let's take a look at the replay.”

OaOast Replay: AP pulls out the knucks, picks up TK, starts flipping off the crowd, Thunderbolt DDT. 1-2-3.

Jesse: “Wait a minute! Angle-Plex's foot is under the ropes. Show that replay again.”

OaOast Replay: Thunderbolt DDT. 1-2-3. But we can see what appears to look like a foot under the ropes.

OaOast Reverse Angle: Thunderbolt DDT. It's clear now. AP's right foot in underneath the ropes but the ref couldn't see it, his body was facing the shoulders of AP.

JR: “Oh, you're right. We have some trouble here.”

AP is up, waving the brassknucks to the ref.

JR: “What's AP doing?”

Jesse: “Being somebody who knows all the rules in the book—“

JR: “How to Cheat for Dummies, right?”

Jesse: “No! Cheating 101. AP is saying TK used the knucks on him.”

JR: “That's bull. The ref was right there. He didn't see AP with the knucks but he dame sure knows TK didn't use them.”

The ref has enough of it and leaves, further pissing off AP. AP grabs the mic:

AP: “This is bullshit! Tomorrow night, tomorrow night, live on the Intense Zone -- I want that taped review. Watts, you better hear this, and see that footage. Hell, this is nothing more than the office holding the Angle man down.”

AP throws down the mic and leaves.

JR: “Well, I-I don't know what to say.”

Jesse: “AP is right. The office is being racist to all the Angles out there. Anglesault, Angle-Plex, angle World order -- he has a point.”

JR: “No he doesn't. Fans, next month we have a very special event coming your way. The Angle Awards return. Take a look at this.”

ROLL ANGLE AWARDS PROMO

A depressed looking man is sitting at home.

Depressed Man (sobbing): I can't believe it. I can't take it. I ask myself "why, why, why?" I go to my wife's family reunion...and I miss the Angle Awards. I can't forgive myself for meeting her parents again. But I won't miss the next Angle Awards.

Man pulls out a gun. Cameras show a picture of the man with his wife and two kids.

GUN SHOT; bloods splatters over the picture.

THE ANGLE AWARDS, hosted by Tony "The Body"

NEXT MONTH

NARRATOR: The OaOast. We kill to entertain.

[Chanel #99]

Both JR and Jesse are at the table, mouths open at what they have just seen.

Jesse: “What kind of advertisement is that?”

JR: “I don’t know, but it sounds like Sandman was behind it.”

Jesse: “He’s not wrestling tonight, is he?”

JR: “He’s up next.”

Jesse: “Dammit. This night keeps getting worse.”

Christmas Deathmatch

Alfdogg vs. Sandman9000

Christmas music is in the air, as OAOAST workers bring down the weapons that will be used in the X-Mas Deathmatch. First is the tree, of course. However, in this Holiday from Hell, the tree isn’t a tree at all. It is a six-foot cactus, with short, yet very sharp needles. Of course, a tree isn’t a Christmas tree without decorations. Instead of tinsel, the cactus is wrapped in barbed wire, making a bad situation even worse. Christmas ornaments are hanging from the barbed wire, but anyone who has ever had those little balls break before can tell you they are just as dangerous and sharp as a lightbulb, and there are lots of those little balls hanging from the tree. Not only that, the star on top of the cactus is made out of glass, and has thumbtacks glued to it.

JR: “If I came home to that Christmas tree, I’d pack my stuff up and leave.”

Jesse: “Jim, you should be lucky to come home to any tree at all.”

There are also multiple presents under the tree, and around ringside as well. Some are in small boxes, while others just have wrapping paper on them, and are obviously some kind of board or table. There is also a big bucket marked “SNOW” on the outside of the ring. Of course, snow being substituted for salt.

Jesse: “Jim, what kind of sick freak would celebrate a holiday like this?”

A.W.O. AMERICA!!!!!!

JR: “He’s about the come down the ramp.”

“White America” hits, the red, white, and blue fireworks go off, and Sandman9000 comes storming down the ramp. He’s wearing a Santa hat on his head, but it’s black with “BAH HUMBUG” on it. Sandman looks especially disturbed tonight, seeing how he is going to be in his element. Sandman grabs one of the presents, tears off the wrapping paper to reveal a barbed wire board, and slides it into the ring. Sandman sets the board up in the corner and the music dies down.

“The Wall” hits as Alfdogg makes his way out to the ring. First stopping to pose on the stage as the pyro goes off, Alf sprints and slides into the ring, ducks a clothesline from Sandman while running the ropes, and comes off with a cross-body block! Both men bounce back up to their feet, as Alf hits a couple of rights, and shoots Sandman off the ropes. It’s Sandman’s turn to duck an Alf clothesline, as Sandman rebounds and hits a spinning heel kick. Sandman immediately goes to unwrap one of the presents under the tree, but Alf is up and hits Sandman on the back.

JR: “This match is going to be brutal folks. I don’t even want to know what are in some of those presents there!”

Alf drags Sandman back to his feet and hits a belly-to-back suplex. Alf goes for a standing moonsault, but Sandman rolls out of the way as Alf crashes onto his stomach. Sandman springs up and goes for a standing moonsault as well, but Alf is able to move out of the way as well. Alf kicks Sandman on the back of Sandman’s head, and lifts Sandman back up to his feet. Alf whips Sandman towards the cactus, but Sandman slides to avoid contact.

Jesse: “Dammit Sandman, don’t be a wuss, hit the damn cactus!”

Sandman grabs a present and swings at Alf, but Alf easily avoids the shot. Alf turns and drops Sandman with one discus punch, then grabs the present Sandman had and readies himself! Sandman turns around, only to be clocked over the head with the present! A loud metallic “thwap” came from the present, which Alf unwraps to reveal a STOP sign!

JR: “That’s the same trick Sandman used two weeks ago against Zack Malibu!”

Jesse: “And it backfired big time! Never repeat a trick, or else your opponents will be able to counter it! I never repeated a trick!”

JR: “You only had three tricks! All you did was repeat your old tricks.”

Jesse: “But they never backfired!”

Alf catches Sandman as Sandman is standing, and hits a belly-to-belly. Alf clears presents away from under the tree, as he brings Sandman to the corner opposite the cactus. Alf irish whips Sandman, Sandman tries to counter, but Alf reverses the counter as Sandman flies back-first INTO THE CACTUS! Sandman hits the cactus hard, breaking some of the glass ornaments as the barbed wire and cactus needles penetrate his body! Sandman falls back to earth, as he has also knocked the thumbtack covered glass star down to the ring.

JR: “OW! Sandman’s holiday has just been ruined.”

Jesse: “Please. For Sandman, everyday is a holiday.”

JR: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Jesse: “If crashing into something sharp is a holiday for him, then everyday must…”

JR: “Forget it.”

Alf quickly slides out of the ring, digs under the ring for a moment, and pulls out a chair, which is thrown into the ring. Alf places the thumbtack covered glass star on the back of Sandman’s head, as Sandman is on all fours, and brings the chair down hard, smashing the star into Sandman’s skull! Glass and thumbtacks go everywhere, as Sandman is on the ground, holding the back of his head, writhing in pain! Alf drags Sandman back up to his feet, but only to throw Sandman back into the cactus!

Alf grabs one of the presents, shakes it to try and guess what is inside, hears nothing break, and unwraps it, to pull out a cheese grater! Alf stalks Sandman, only for Sandman to score with a kick to the stomach. Sandman grabs the cheese grater and swings at Alf, but Alf takes him down with a Fujiwara armbar, wrenches the cheese grater free, transfers into a rear mount position, and goes to work on Sandman’s forehead! Sandman screams and wrenches free before Alf can cut through the layers of scar tissue on his forehead.

Sandman grabs one of the presents, a long, pole-like object, but Alf dropkicks Sandman from behind, sending Sandman and the present tumbling out of the ring. Alf motions to the crowd to stand up, but Sandman is smiling on the outside, as he knows exactly what the present is. Alf runs the ropes and goes for the Space Flying Alf Drop, but Sandman swings the present like a baseball bat, smashing Alf in the stomach mid move! Wrapping paper and glass go flying everywhere, as Alf lies on the ground, clutching his stomach. Sandman tears paper off the rest of the present, which was a bundle of four lightbulbs! Sandman smashes the rest of the bulbs against Alf’s back.

JR: “Sandman’s in control of this match now. Alf may not be able to recover.”

Sandman rips wrapping paper off of something at ringside, which happens to be a lightbulb table! Sandman bridges it between the ring apron and the guardrail, at least until Alf clobbers him from behind! With Sandman down, Alf grabs a present and unwraps it, to reveal a cookie sheet? Alf is slightly disappointed, but whacks Sandman upside the head anyway. However, Sandman is down and clutching his face, as Alf turns the cookie sheet over to see that there are thumbtacks glued to the other side, the side Alf nailed Sandman with! Alf shrugs and cracks Sandman with the thumbtack cookie sheet again, as tacks are stuck in Sandman’s arm, back, and face!

Alf rolls Sandman back into the ring as Sandman pulls thumbtacks out of his face. Alf unwraps another present; this time a barbed wire and lightbulb crutch! Sandman is on all fours as Alf blasts him across the back with the crutch! Glass and dust fly everywhere as Sandman rolls around on the mat, in pain!

JR: “A regular crutch hurts bad enough, add lightbulbs and barbed wire to it, and Sandman has got to be in agony!”

Jesse: “And what is wrong with a regular crutch? A crutch was fine for me, why do you have to add all this crap to it?”

Sandman is still down as Alf throws the broken crutch out of the ring. Alf is digging through more presents, as Sandman manages to get up and dropkick Alf from behind, sending him face first INTO THE CACTUS! Alf is cringing in pain, leaning against the cactus. He is trying to pull the barbed wire out of his shirt, when Sandman grabs one of the ornaments, places it against Alf’s forehead, and headbutts it himself! Glass explodes as both men hold their foreheads and try to pick glass out!

Jesse: “And why in the hell would a person headbutt glass? What the hell is wrong with him?”

JR: “The person who figures out what is wrong with Sandman would probably become a millionaire!”

Sandman grabs the chair, whacks Alf across the back with it, driving Alf further into the cactus and barbed wire, then uses the chair to push Alf and the cactus over! Alf is on the mat, with the cactus on top of him! In a moment of divine insanity, Sandman scales to the top rope and comes off with the corkscrew moonsault, crushing the cactus onto Alf! Sandman thrashes around in pain, as Alf tries to throw the cactus off of him!

JR: “Good Lord! Alf just got crushed by Sandman and that cactus!

Alf manages to get the cactus off of him as Sandman crawls over and covers, 1….2…Alf kicks out. Sandman picks Alf up and tries to whip him towards the barbed wire board in the corner, but Alf hits the brakes, only for Sandman to Yakuza Kick him into the board! Alf writhes in pain again, only for Sandman to spear Alf THROUGH the board of barbed wire! Sandman pulls free without too much difficulty, though he does take a chunk of skin out of his right forearm. Alf, however, is all tangled up in the barbs.

Jesse: “Alf should have known better. This is Sandman’s environment. He’s at an advantage here.”

JR: “What insightful commentary. Next, you’re gonna tell us that all the stuff in the ring isn’t fake, aren’t you?”

Jesse: “It isn’t!”

Sandman starts to pull Alf out of the barbs, alternating between pulling on Alf and stomping on Alf. Both men have various cuts and bruises on their body, including the forehead after the ornament headbutt, but neither man is seriously opened up. Sandman finally has Alf out of the barbed wire board and covers, 1….2…Alf kicks out. Sandman stomps on Alf and heads back up to the top rope, but Alf crotches Sandman to stop him. Alf sets up the chair, looking to take Sandman off the top onto it. Alf preps Sandman for a press slam onto the chair, but Sandman breaks it up with a thumb to the eyes. Sandman climbs to the top, but Alf pops-up to the top and is looking for a belly-to-belly onto the chair! Sandman, however, is able to fight Alf off, but ends up losing his balance and is forced to drop back to the second rope, as Alf falls to the mat, barely avoiding the chair. Sandman climbs back to the top rope, but Alf jumps off the chair and nails Sandman with a superkick, knocking him off the top rope, THOUGH THE LIGHTBULB TABLE THAT WAS BRIDGED AGAINST THE APRON AND GUARDRAIL! Glass again flies everywhere as Sandman is convulsing in the wreckage of glass and wood. A “Holy Shit” chant starts up.

JR: “Good God almighty! Good God almighty! What a move by Alf! What a move!”

Jesse: “Don’t just lie there Alf, Sandman’s dead! Get him into the ring and pin him!”

Alf manages to roll out of the ring and drag Sandman out of the wreckage at ringside and roll him back into the ring, bringing a couple presents in with him. Alf covers, 1…2…Sandman kicks out as the crowd voices their disappointment. Alf unwraps a present, to pull out a red and green colored staple gun! Alf pistol-whips Sandman with the staple gun before lifting Sandman’s shirt up to his lip! Alf has the gun pressed against Sandman’s lip, but Sandman is thrashing around for his life, so Alf pistol-whips him again. Alf lifts Sandman upper lip and presses it against his nose, before putting the staple gun against the upper lip AND STAPLES SANDMAN’S UPPER LIP TO HIS NOSE!!!! Sandman’s body shakes in pain as the crowd screams along.

JR: “OH MY GOD! I’ve never seen anybody’s upper lip attached to their nose before!”

Jesse: “Doesn’t that violate the warranty of that staple gun?”

Alf puts a staple into the top of Sandman’s head for good measure, as Sandman pulls his lip free of his nose, and pulls the staple out of his lip. Alf grabs the STOP sign and cracks Sandman over the head with it. Sandman is still getting to his feet, so hooks Sandman up and drops him with a Perfect Plex, bridge included, 1…2…Sandman kicks out. Sandman’s got some serious cuts on his back and shoulders, as his aWo t-shirt is absorbing a good deal of blood. Alf again grabs the staple gun, pulls the back of Sandman’s shirt up to his head, and STAPLES SANDMAN’S SHIRT TO HIS HEAD! As Sandman tries again to pull something out of his skull, Alf unwraps another present, this time a bundle of nine lightbulbs, with thumbtacks glued to them, wrapped in barbed wire!

JR: “Where in the world did we get these presents?

Jesse: “Your wife sent them to us. We were supposed to give them to you, but we figured…”

JR: “Just stop that.”

Alf lies the bulbs on the ground. Sandman is still trying to pull the staple out of his head, as Alf yanks him to his feet by the shirt. Alf shoots Sandman off the ropes, catches him as he rebounds, spins, and plants Sandman with a picture-perfect AA-style Spinsbuster THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE AND THUMBTACK LIGHTBULBS! Sandman’s back was exposed to the object, as Sandman flops around on the mat, broken glass, thumbtacks, and barbed wire in pain.

Alf decides to be extra cruel, and lifts Sandman up for a powerbomb into the wreckage. However, Sandman starts pounding away on Alf’s head, and manages to slip free. Alf just changes plans and takes Sandman over with a T-Bone suplex instead, just not into the wreckage. Alf decides to end this whole dance, and heads up top for the Five Star Alf Splash. Alf leaps, but Sandman bails out of the way and Alf connects with nothing but the ring.

JR: “Alf went for it all there, and came up with nothing. This is a whole new ballgame now.”

Alf rolls towards a corner of the ring, and is trying to pull himself up using the ropes when Sandman staggers to his feet. Sandman comes over and kicks Alf into a sitting position by the ropes. Sandman starts to grind the sole of his boot into the left side of Alf’s face, trying to take off the flesh! Sandman starts scraping his boot against Alf’s face, trying to rearrange Alf’s facial features! The official manages to get Sandman off of Alf, only for Sandman to run the ropes and connect with a running boot scrape, trying to knock Alf’s jaw off!

Sandman slides out of the ring as Alf makes sure his face is intact. Sandman takes wrapping off of another present, this time a massive pane of glass! Sandman slides the pane into the ring and props it up in the corner. Sandman again takes Alf out of the corner and whips him towards the glass. Again, Alf hits the brakes, and again, Sandman connects with a Yakuza Kick to send Alf up against the pane of glass. Sandman grins and charges in for a spear, but Alf leapfrogs and SANDMAN CRASHES HEAD-FIRST THROUGH THE PANE OF GLASS IN THE CORNER! Sandman falls backwards as he looks like he is going into shock.

Jesse: “Good God! Did you see him hit that glass head-first! He didn’t even have a hand or arm up to protect him at all.”

JR: “Sandman had a golden opportunity and blew it! It’s Alf’s game now, and Alf knows it!”

Alf stomps away at Sandman, as a puddle of blood forms around the top of Sandman’s head. A close-up camera shot of Sandman’s head shows a massive four-inch opening at the top of Sandman’s head that is absolutely gushing out blood.

Jesse: “Change that damn camera view or angle or something! I’m gonna be sick!”

Alf drags Sandman to his feet, staining his own hands completely red. Sandman can barely stand, but Alf grabs the chair and cracks Sandman over the head with it anyway! Blood flies all around the ring as Sandman sprawls to the ground, his hair soaked in his own blood. The seat of the chair has a massive blood spot where Alf hit Sandman.

Alf unwraps another present, only to find a silverware set. Improvising, Alf rips the set apart and pulls out the biggest fork he can find. Alf sits Sandman up, as blood is streaming around Sandman’s head, and STARTS DIGGING INTO THE GASH ON SANDMAN’S HEAD WITH THE FORK! Sandman screams as Alf goes to work on the four-inch gash on Sandman’s head.

Jesse: “HE’S GONNA EAT HIS BRAINS!”

JR: “I’m going to be sick.”

Sandman’s whole head, not just his face, his whole head is covered in blood. Sandman is trying to stand up, but is unable to keep his legs from wobbling. His eyes are starting to gloss over, meaning Sandman is in big trouble.

Alf stabs Sandman one more time in the head with the fork, yet Sandman manages to stay on his feet. Alf hooks Sandman up in a full nelson, then takes him over with a release dragon suplex, Sandman landing on his head and falling onto his stomach, leaving a puddle of blood where his head has hit the mat! Sandman’s chest is starting to match his head, while his back was already a bloody mess before the injury.

Sandman refuses to quit, so Alf rolls out of the ring and grabs the bucket of “SNOW.” Sandman is trying to use the ropes to pull himself up, so Alf simply stands over him, takes a tiny pinch of salt, and sprinkles it over Sandman’s head! Sandman falls to the mat, beating his head in pain and doing more damage to himself!

JR: “Now Alf’s just being cruel here. You’ve got him where you want him, Alf, finish the man off.”

Jesse: “Torture him Alf! Make him squeal!”

Sandman is still trying to get to his feet, so Alf POURS MORE SALT ONTO SANDMAN’S BACK AND HEAD! Sandman rolls around in the ring, trying to relieve the pain in the cuts on his body, but rolls through all of the broken glass and thumbtacks and other sharp objects that were left on the mat, and just does more damage to himself. Sandman tries to stand up, but not before Alf dumps the half-full bucket of salt OVER SANDMAN’S HEAD, LEAVING THE BUCKET ON! Sandman throws the bucket off as his head is a mixture of red and white, the salt all inside of the massive gash on top of his head.

Tony: “For a person who isn’t normally a deathmatch wrestler, Alf has really adapted well to this kind of environment. JR?”

JR: “::various vomiting noises::”

Sandman is still trying to get to his feet, so Alf helps Sandman up once again, then drills him in the face with a superkick, sending blood splattering all around the ringside area! Sandman falls back against the ropes, so Alf peels Sandman off the ropes, lifts him up into a torture rack position, does a lap around the ring as Sandman’s head leaves blood trails on the mat, and drops SANDMAN WITH A BURNING HAMMER ONTO THE CACTUS!!!

JR: “Sandman’s dead. He’s done. Finished. Caput. It’s over.”

Jesse: “Thank God. Let’s bury him and forget he ever existed.”

Alf drags his thumb across his throat as Sandman rolls off of the cactus, into the middle of the ring. Alf climbs up top, looking for another Five Star Alf Splash. ANGLE-PLEX comes sprinting down the aisle and onto the apron, where he shoves Alf off the top rope, STOMACH-FIRST ONTO THE CACTUS!

JR: “Dammit! Alf had this match won, and the damn aWo is gonna ruin it for everyone!”

AP gets into the ring and unwraps a present, onto to see that it’s an Alf doll wrapped in barbed wire! AP slams the doll onto Alf’s back, as THUNDER KID comes sprinting down the aisle with his NA Title and the barbed wire sledgehammer!

JR: “Here comes backup! The Deadly Alliance never lets it’s members down!”

Jesse: “I love it how you hate it when one group has run-ins, but love it when another group does the same thing!”

TK hits the ring and clobbers AP with the NA Title! Both AP and Alf are trying to get to their feet as TK readies the barbed wire sledge. TK goes for a shot with the barbed wire sledge as Alf nails AP from behind with a shot to the back of the head, knocking AP down and out of the way of the barbed wire sledge, which nails Alf in the face! Alf goes down in a heap, as TK is stunned at what he has done. AP is able to toss TK out of the ring, drag Sandman’s bloody body on top of Alf’s, and exits the ring as the official makes the count, 1…2….3.

Winner: Sandman9000 @ 17:32

Via: Pinfall, TK hits Alf w/barbed wire sledgehammer.

Paramedics come down to the ring as Sandman is not getting off of Alf’s body. Janitors come down for the second time tonight, to mop up the excessive amount of blood on the mat. Sandman may have won the match, but may have lost his life in the process!

Jesse: “That was one of the most disturbing matches I have ever seen in my life. Hopefully, Sandman is dead. I’ll be honest though; he never quit. I do hope that I never have to see him wrestle ever again, but my hat’s off to him.”

JR: “He’s gonna need it. You saw the size of that wound.”

Jesse: “But, what I want to know is, what is Alfdogg going to do about this? He’s the one that got beat, but all we can talk about is how Sandman nearly had his brains leak out of his head!”

JR: “That a good question, and I’m scared for Sandman’s life if the answer is what I think it is!”

Promo

T-SHIRTS! GET YER OAOAST T-SHIRTS NOW!

Angle-Plex is seen wandering onto the destroyed set. He looks confused.

AP: “Hello? Everyone said that they were doing to be here today, and I figured I should be here too! And what is all this talk about t-shirts? I haven’t heard anything about t-shirts at all? Why is everything dark? And this place looks like a tornado or Sandman hit it? Is anybody here at all?”

GET YOUR OFFICIAL OAOAST T-SHIRT TODAY! AND DON’T WORRY, AGNES DOESN’T HAVE A SHIRT!

[Chanel #99]

JR: “Folks, the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship match is up next! But first, MC is with the challenger.”

MC: Superstar, we are minutes away from your match with Anglesault for the World Heavyweight Championship. Your thoughts?

SS: My thoughts? Cole, this is the biggest match of my career. The biggest match OF MY LIFE. I’ve trained for 22 years to get to this match. I’ve sacrificed 22 years to get to the very top of this business, and here I am: the main event at Battered, Bloody and Beaten. And what an appropriate name. Anglesault, we’re going to go in there, and I guarantee it’s going to be over 20 minutes of hell. From pillar to post, I am going to completely destroy you. Earlier tonight, my stablemates Alfdogg and Thunderkid were also put through hell, but they showed what toughness is all about. And Anglesault, after this match is finally over, you’re going to be left Star Crossed, no doubt. And not only that, you’ll be leaving this arena about 15 pounds lighter; because *I* am going to become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion.

Jesse: “Idiot can’t even get the name of the show right.”

JR: “Quit it. He’s excited about his chance of becoming the world champion tonight.”

OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship

The Superstar vs. Anglesault ©

The stage lights turn red, and then “Downfall” hits and the crowd erupts!

“Coming down the aisle, from Naples, Florida, representing the Deadly Alliance, weighing in at 219 pounds…THE SUPERSTAR!!!” Superstar gets into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, showing off his Deadly Alliance shirt before taking it off, and warming up for the biggest match of his career.

“a…W…o” Dream On hits and the crowd erupts…into boos.

“Coming down the aisle, from New York, New York, representing the aWo, he is the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, ANGLESAULT!!!” Anglesault struts to the ring, removes his robe, hands his belt over reluctantly to the referee, and the ref calls for the bell. This match is on!

Anglesault immediately calls for a tieup, but rolls out of the way when Superstar reaches in, to huge heat. Sault taunts some fans at ringside, and does the same exact thing again. Before he can do it a third time, Superstar audibly shouts “HEY, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! LET’S GET THE GODDAMN MATCH STARTED!!” This brings Anglesault directly into Superstar’s face, as the two have a staredown/trash talking session, until they finally tie up. Superstar gets the better of this exchange, shoving Anglesault into the corner to a big pop. Sault asks for another tieup, but as Superstar reaches in, Anglesault catches him with a knee to the midsection, and some clubbing blows to the back, before whipping him into the ropes. However, Superstar reverses the whip, but falls victim to an Anglesault shoulder block, but as Sault runs into the ropes again, Superstar is up and catches him with an armdrag, taking him down. Sault quickly fights out, and gets in a waistlock on Superstar. Superstar reverses the waistlock, which Anglesault tries to reverse, but can’t, so instead tries to reach at Superstar’s ankle, but Superstar senses this and sidesteps it, getting a side headlock in. However, Sault whips Superstar into the ropes, and hits a back body drop, but Superstar lands on his feet, runs into the ropes, and gives Anglesault a flying forearm, which causes the Champion to take a breather outside the ring.

Jesse: “Take your time Sault. Wrestle how you want to wrestle. Remember, he has to beat you to win, you don’t have to beat him.”

Superstar first lets the ref begin his ten-count, but realizes he WON’T win the World Title that way, and instead runs to the ropes, comes off and OMG, SOMERSAULT SENTON FROM THE RING TO THE OUTSIDE ACTUALLY CONNECTS~! and both men are down! Both men groggily get up, but Sault gets a cheap shot in and whips Superstar into the steel ring steps, and as Superstar comes back Anglesault gives him a release Northern Lights Suplex on the concrete! Both men enter the ring, with Anglesault on the offensive. He throws some punches at the challenger before bringing him into the corner and using a blatant choke hold- until the ref pulls him away. This allows Superstar to turn the tables and hit Knife Edge chops on Anglesault, causing the Champion to beg off. Superstar doesn’t listen however, stomping Sault down in the corner until the referee pulls HIM away. This allows Anglesault to hit a nasty chop block on Superstar’s leg, taking him down. He locks in a kneebar, but Superstar quickly reaches the ropes. Anglesault drops some elbows onto the leg, but Superstar catches him in a surprise small package: 1…2…NO!! Sault climbs to the top turnbuckle, and as Superstar gets up, hits a MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover: 1…2…NO. Sault gets a chinlock on Superstar, who quickly fights out and gets a jawbreaker on the Champion. As Anglesault is momentarily stunned, Superstar gives him a stalling vertical suplex, holds on, and hits a face-first suplex! Instead of going for a cover, he brings Sault into the corner and attempts a cross-corner whip, but Sault reverses. As he charges, however, Superstar moves, and gives Sault the Transformation! Superstar picks Anglesault up and goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Sault reverses into his own-giving Superstar the Sweet Emotion all the way over the ropes to the outside!

JR: “The challenger is making a strong showing here tonight.”

Jesse: “He’s going to have to be better then strong to defeat AngleSault!’

Anglesault follows the challenger outside the ring, cockily working him over with punches, and dropping him sternum-first on the guardrail. However, when Anglesault tries a suplex on the outside, Superstar blocks it, gives Sault a gutshot and the SUPERSHOT~! On the outside of the ring! He rolls Anglesault into the ring and covers: 1…2…NO. He waits for AS to get up, and then gives him a clothesline, another one, and then attempts the Tombstone, but AS rolls down Superstar’s front and grabs his ankle, right into the Screams of No Reply!! Superstar fights it, and kicks Anglesault enough in the face to break the hold. As Anglesault charges with a clothesline, Superstar ducks it, however, and gives Sault a HUGE Tiger Suplex, with a bridge! 1…2…NO! Superstar attempts a DDT, but he’s too close to the ropes, and Sault uses the ropes to stop the move. AS then uses an undetected version of Superstar’s Well Placed Kick to the Nuts on the move’s originator, and Superstar is down and very hurt! Sault immediately follows this up with a Piledriver! Cover: 1…2…NO. Anglesault once again goes back to the ankle, but this time Superstar uses his legs to throw Sault into the turnbuckle, and out of nowhere, hits THE SUPERNOVA~!!! He can’t cover however, and both men are down as the referee starts a 10-count. 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…finally both men are stirring…8…9…and both men are up. As Sault charges, Superstar catches him and locks in THE LYSIS! Anglesault is screaming in pain, but grabs Superstar’s ankle, and at the same time, locks in the SCREAMS OF NO REPLY!!! Superstar is in so much pain that he has to break The Lysis, making Anglesault in control! However, Superstar is close to the ropes and is able to get to them, breaking the hold. Anglesault is relentless, however, and immediately hits a GERMAN SUPLEX! He holds on for another, but Superstar elbows him in the head, and goes down into the STAR CROSSED~! Once again caught in a submission hold, Anglesault reaches for the ropes, but Superstar pulls him into the middle of the ring, and drops a knee onto Sault’s neck! Sault has nowhere to go, until Superstar, in what may be a mistake, lets go of the hold. He whips Anglesault into the ropes, and catches him in Anglesault’s own LAST CHILD! Superstar then signals, and heads up top…SALTSAULT~!!!! 1…2…NO!!!!! Anglesault barely kicks out. Superstar lays some knife-edge chops into Sault, and then grabs him in a waistlock in preparation for The All-Star, but Sault escapes, grabs Superstar’s leg…and gives him the STAR POWER!!! Now HE climbs up top…SUPERSPLASH MISSES!!! Superstar captures Sault into a quick Oklahoma Roll: 1…2…NO! Both men are down and out!

JR: “These two men are going neck and neck! I can barely keep up!”

Jesse: “Explains why you like hosses so much Ross. Fat, dumb, and slow is the way you like it.”

As the referee is halfway through a ten count, both men are up, and charge at each other in what looks to be a double clothesline, but Anglesault catches Superstar, and spins him around into a sit-down sidewalk slam! Sault then slowly climbs to the top rope, facing towards the ring. The extra time allows Superstar to recover and run up the ropes Angle-like, but Sault obviously knows this and shoves Superstar down to the mat. He turns around, in preparation for the SaltSault, but tenaciously, Superstar runs back up again, and once AGAIN gets shoved down! Anglesault leaps out with the SALTSAULT, unaware that Superstar is up on his feet! Superstar catches Sault in mid-air, and DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH THE TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! Cover: 1…2…ANGLESAULT GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE! Superstar picks Sault up and brings him into the corner, lays in some punches, and cross corner whips the Champion. However, Anglesault gets a boot up, and groggily tries the old Flair pin: 1…2…the referee catches Sault’s feet on the ropes and stops the count! As Sault argues with the referee, Superstar grabs him in a waistlock and hits a German Suplex! And ANOTHER! And the third, this time a SPINNING German Suplex, called the All Star! Without a bridge, Superstar covers: 1..2…NO! Getting frustrated, Superstar whips Anglesault into the ropes, but the Champ ducks a clothesline, and hits the LAST CHILD! Instead of covering, he heads to the outside, and grabs his OAOAST World Championship, and then goes under the ring and retrieves the aWo Sledge. Business has just picked up~!

Jesse: “Knock his ass out champ!”

JR: “Stop that.”

Jesse: “What? I’m offering analysis!”

JR: “’Knock his ass out champ?’”

Jesse: “Call the damn match.”

As Sault rolls back into the ring, the referee tries to stop him from using either weapon, saying he will get disqualified if he uses them. Anglesault replies by shoving the referee down. As Superstar is getting up, Sault throws the World Title belt at him in preparation for the Van Saultinator, but Superstar ducks the Sledgehammer shot and Anglesault nails the referee!!! Superstar then takes advantage of this by laying out Anglesault with a huge Belt Shot! The challenger then signals for his new finisher: with Sault in the middle of the ring, he climbs onto the ring apron, and nails a slingshot senton, rolls through it, runs towards the opposite ropes and nails a picture perfect Lionsault, a combo known as the INFINITY STAR PRESS~!!! He covers: no referee to count the pin! The crowd counts up to what would be ten, but who should join us but the aWo’s very own Agnes. Superstar sees his intrusion, and ducks a clothesline, before laying in some wicked knife-edge chops. However, Agnes reverses a whip into a gutshot, into the Angles Clash!! This, however, brings out Superstar’s stablemate, Thunderkid!! The two immediately begin where their match earlier in the evening left off, sending both men outside the ring brawling. Meanwhile, Anglesault has recovered from the Infinity Star Press and begins climbing the turnbuckles…SALTSAULT~!!!!! No, wait, Superstar rolls through into a small package! Another referee comes running down into the ring! 1…2…..3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The new referee raises Superstar’s hand and gives him the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! The other referee is up and is conferring with the ring announcer, when he begins talking.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the referee ASSIGNED FOR THIS CONTEST has informed me that during the pinfall, BOTH MEN’S SHOULDERS WERE DOWN AT THE REFEREE’S THREE COUNT, and the ORIGINAL referee has declared this match a DRAW. Therefore, STILL YOUR OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…ANGLESAULT!!!!”

The referee takes the OAOAST World Championship away from Superstar, which Sault quickly steals and runs off backstage. Superstar immediately begins yelling at the original referee, before putting him in THE LYSIS!! The rest of the referees run down to stop an IRATE Superstar, who thought he had finally won the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship!

Winner: Draw, in 25:32.

Jesse: “What the hell just happened?”

JR: “The official has ruled the match a draw, folks.”

Jesse: “Proof that Anglesault is the better man. SuperStar couldn’t beat the champion tonight, or any other night?”

JR: “But with the way this match ended, SuperStar is almost guaranteed another shot at the title.”

Jesse: “He doesn’t deserve one! He couldn’t beat the champ!”

JR: “Our Main Event is up NOW!”

[Chanel #99]

Last Man Standing

Big Poppa Popick vs. Tony The Body

"Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is a Last

Man Standing match, with a time limit of sixty

minutes! Introducing first, not only the mind and

soul of the OaOasT, it's founding member and former

Executive Vice-President of Talent Relations, he is

the oldest active wrestler on today's roster, the man,

the myth, the legend of Tony the Body!"

::Simply Ravishing starts low and builds to a

crescendo as a blue and gold curtain of sparkles falls

down on the AngleTron stage. Tony the Body steps out

from behind the falling pyro to the roar of the

expectant crowd.::

JR: “Well, you know this has to be a special match for

it to go on after that exciting OaOasT Title match”

JESSE: “Certainly, and you know who I'm pulling for in

this match! I even gave the old codger some pointers

about that chump BPP before the match.”

JR: “Been reviewing some old tapes have we?”

JESSE: “Certainly! I want to see the best man win.”

JR: “Well, I'm going to have to disagree with you

there. BPP has been instrumental in reforming the

In-Crowd and keeping at least some law and order

around here.”

JESSE: “Quit with the verbal blowjobs JR. You're just

betting on a job. I'm betting on a man.”

"And now ladies and gentleman, introducing his

opponent, the former two-time, two-time, two-time

OaOasT North American Television Champion, the former

leader of the Deadly Alliance, current In-Crowd

member, your very own OaOasT commissioner. the

sweetness that is Big Poppa Popick!"

::Awww Naww plays as the arena darkens all around save

one spotlight on the AngleTron ramp. A shower of

white sparks flys up from the ramp floor, and BPP

enters clad in trenchcoat and hat to bathe in the

shower of light. All the fans stay on their feets and

chant for BPP has he makes his way down, a slight

smile returning to his lips for the first time in a

few months. Perhaps finally accepting Zack as a true

friend and partnering with him has had a profound

effect on the once sullen BPP, or maybe his newly

found religious revival is explanation enough.::

BPP meets Tony in the ring, both clad in their ring

gear. Walking toe to toe, they each take off their

gear slowly, allowing one very nervous referee time to

toss the clothes out of the ring and onto the floor.

JR: “BPP has the strangest look of peace right now,

much different from the seething rage Tony grimaces.”

JESSE: “I bet he's high on something.”

JR: “Well the fans seem to appreciate it!”

JESSE: “Shut up JR, can't you see they're about to go

at it!”

The bell rings, and a small counter starts running

down the time.

60:00

BPP and Tony walk out from their corners, like the

boxers of old. They meet face to face, nose to nose,

walking slowly around each other. All the fans hold

their breath, waiting for the events to explode.

Slowly, BPP takes one step back, and extends his

clenched hands, keeping to the feel of such a big

match. Tony looks around the arena, questioning

whether or not to accept BPP's gesture of competition.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Tony

touches his clenched fists to BPP, and then walks

backward into his corner. BPP does the same. Both

men collapse in their corners, staring.

58:00

BPP is the first up, and Tony follows his lead. They

circle, slowly, searching for an opening and sizing

each other up for any potential weaknesses. Tony

darts in for a quick jab which misses. BPP steps back

and throws a right, missing but not by much. Tony

tries to sneak a left in as BPP recoils, but BPP

crosses his left hand to dodge and grab Tony's left

wrist, pulling him back into a side hammerlock.

Tony grabs BPP's neck with his right hand and flips

forward, dumping BPP overhead. BPP lands on his feet

and goes for a a foot sweep, which Tony jumps over.

Coming down, Tony looks to hit BPP with a falling

right, but BPP rolls to miss, and kips up to monkey

toss Tony, who lands on his feet. They turn around to

the applause of the crowd, both men still yet having

to hit any blow on the other.

JR: “Good sound technical wrestling to start off. Not

what I expected.”

JESSE: “That's right, they've decided to feel each

other out for any potential weaknesses. It looks like

they're evenly matched.”

55:00

Both men start to circle again, and finally the fans

begin to relax into their seats. This contest looks

to be a long one. Tony and BPP meet in a collar/elbow

lock-up, battling for position circling along the ring

ropes, both avoiding the turnbuckle corners. BPP

finally pulls Tony into a turnbuckle, but steps back

as the ref demands a clean break.

They step back to the middle and lock-up again, BPP

reversing into a hammerlock yet again, Tony grabs out

and clasps one of his own, which BPP turns into a

fireman's carry into a headlock on the mat!

JR: “BPP gets the first offensive move in.”

JESSE: “It's not who's gets the first move but who gets

the last JR.”

Tony struggles to get out of the headlock. It looks

like BPP has it locked in pretty good, alot of weight

and pressure across the back. Tony gives up trying to

power out and just slides across to grab the ropes.

Once again, BPP lets go for a clean break.

JESSE: “I may not like him, but a good headlock is a

perfect move to wear out Tony's neck as a setup to

either BPP's deliverance or Fallen Angel as they both

focus on on the neck and lower back.”

JR: “Wow, thats the first time I actually agree with

you tonight.”

52:00

Tony clenches his neck as he gets up, realizing BPP has chosen that particular body spot to focus in on. He closes up his stance a bit, bouncing more off the knees and lowering his center of gravity. BPP remains circling around in his mixed martial arts/grappling style. The meet again, but Tony grabs a punch attempt by BPP and fires two quick rights into BPP's midsection before following it up with a knee to the stomach. BPP goes down to a three point stance to try and catch his breath, but Tony uses BPP's position to sidestep and pick him up, and take him down across the knee with a gutbuster.

JESSE: “Now that's old school right there. Simple but effective.”

Tony maintains his hold and pulls BPP up into an abdominal stretch, slapping it on in the middle of the ring. It's evident BPP is still tender in that area from recent chairshots, and no doubt there is still lingering injuries from the King of the Deathmatch from two months ago, making that area very tender.

JR: “Both BPP and Tony have come in here with a plan. BPP, knowing Tony's history, is targeting his neck, while Tony is going for the tender stomach of BPP.”

JESSE: “It's proof that both these wrestlers understand just what wrestling is all about, picking apart your opponents.”

In the meantime, Tony has kept BPP in the stretch by nailing several open palm shots to his stomach in an attempt to increase the pain. BPP makes attempts to bowl over, the first two end with Tony pulling BPP back up into the stretch. BPP bowls over a third time causing Tony to pull harder. BPP uses the momentum to float up and over, twisting into an inverted DDT that looked to hit at a sharp angle. Both men stay down on the mat.

JR: “BPP countered with a ddt to the neck and head of Tony. Both men are going to take advantage of this first break to size up each other.”

Sure enough, the referee administers an 8 count before both men get up in their corners.

JESSE: “They both couldve gotten up sooner, but like you said JR, this was a perfect opportunity for them to see how their strategies are going.”

JR: “I bet they're going to pull out the stops now, its already twelve minutes into the match.”

48:00

BPP and Tony come out of their corners, the crowd rising to their feet again. BPP charges and spears Tony, using his momentum to hit a twisting legdrop across Tony's neck. Tony rolls away and to the ropes, preventing any further attack, while BPP poses on the second rope to the delight of the crowd.

Tony takes advantage of BPP's cheeriness and strikes him from behind with forearms to the back, then grasping hold of BPP's torso and hitting him with a release german suplex. BPP lands on his stomach and groans in pain.

45:00

Tony rolls over and putts BPP into a stretch muffler for about 10 seconds, dropping him down whilst nailing an knee to the gut. Tony goes for a senton splash, but BPP pulls his knees up to prevent further damage. Tony feels the impact and rolls on his gut, pulling himself up on the ropes. He turns around and right into a superkick~! from BPP. Tony gets caught in the ropes ala Foley!

As Tony struggles for air, BPP runs the turnbuckle, twists around to face Tony, and jumps for a Harlem Hangover! Tony's body flips back into the ring and he flops into unconsciousness.

JR: “We've got our first solo count of the evening.”

JESSE: “Get up Tony! Shake it off!”

Tony stirs around 6, and gets up at 9. Tony turns to stare at BPP, who actually was getting boos for his actions when Tony obviously was in serious trouble. Tony charges and dropkicks BPP's knee, following the momentum with a heel kick to BPP's head, which misses and Tony winds up pulled up into a wheelbarrow bomb! BPP collapses on his hurt knee though, and both men work their way back to their feet, this time hurt in different areas.

41:00

BPP shakes his leg a few times as Tony hunkers back down into a low-center fighting stance. They meet back up and lock-in, Tony using the fact that he has two good legs to his advantage, backing BPP into a turnbuckle. The ref calls for a clean break, but instead Tony irish whips BPP into the far turnbuckle, running behind for a hard running knee strike.

JR: “Tony's back to targeting BPP's stomach”

JESSE: “Think we'll find out what BPP had for lunch?”

Tony hops to the second rope on the turnbuckle and grabs BPP into a Dragon sleeper. Rather though than hold that in, Tony jumps off to a Diamond Dust! BPP flops around selling the injury, rolling to the outside to take a breather. Tony follows and hits a clubbing fist to BPP's back, and then with some shots to the kidneys, BPP drops to one knee. Tony the straight kicks the back of BPP's head, bowling him over clutching that area with both hands. As he rolls around, Tony leaps to the ring apron, and comes running off with a Savage elbow right to BPP's stomach! Tony recovers and picks BPP up by his hair, rolling him into the ring, demanding the referee counts

BPP pulls himself up by the ropes after a five count. Tony walks over to grab BPP from behind, but BPP's uncanny sixth sense kicks in with a round-house enziguri as Tony nears! With Tony stunned, BPP locks in for a back suplex, high angle style! Tony's dropped on his neck once again!

37:00

JR: “Simple but effective, holding someone like that does serious damage.”

JESSE: “BPP's trying to make it so Tony just gives up from the pain.”

JR: “Sounds like someone's approving of his gameplan.”

JESSE: “It's sound, but its going to take alot more to get Tony to quit!”

The referee administers a count until Tony is able to make it back up, clutching his neck trying to rub some feeling back into it. BPP pushes Tony to the ropes, then the song of "Whoo!" clearly sounds across the arena as BPP chops the upper chest of Tony. BPP goes to whip Tony, but Tony holds on and comes back with a knee to the gut. Quickly, Tony pulls BPP into a suplex, and drops him over the top rope! BPP gets flipped back in, and before he can recover in any way, Tony mounts him for a 5 count of punches to the midsection and kidneys.

JESSE: “There ya go Tony!”

34:00

Tony props BPP up on the ropes and dashes to the far end, running back for a spear to BPP's stomach! BPP staggers forward and Tony responds by hitting a faceplant. BPP rolls over and his hurt stomach is exposed. Tony looks to the crowd and hops onto the closest turnbuckle. FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH!!! No! BPP kips-up and hits a spinning heel kick to Tony's head. Both men are down!

JESSE: “Tony went for it all there.”

JR: “But BPP countered and what a move! Even his counters are hitting Tony's neck!”

JESSE: “Can either man answer the 10 count?”

Jesse's question is answered as both men regain a vertical base at an 8 count. BPP is the better of the two, and immediately grabs Tony in a facing full nelson choke

JR: “Looks like BPP is going for his Synchronicity Bomb.”

BPP picks Tony up, but there's a struggle at the top as Tony vices BPP's stomach with his legs. BPP drops Tony down, and Tony picks BPP up. OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE!

JESSE: “That's it!”

BPP lies down and fallen as Tony collapses to the ropes. We get another count, this time it hits eight before BPP pulls himself up

JR: “That might have done it, but Tony has been concentrating on BPP's stomach, not his back. Perhaps a better game-plan would have been in order.”

30:00

Tony realizes why his finisher didn't work, and we see him fussing around the ring. BPP drops back down, selling his bad knee from earlier, but as Tony gets close, BPP leg sweeps Tony and in the same motion, grabs Tony's right arm and puts on a Crossface right in the middle of the ring!

JR: “That Crossface really works on the neck!”

JESSE: “I have to admit this, BPP has come in with a great game-plan, totally wearing Tony's neck out, which works for both of his finishers.”

JR: “Can Tony adapt his to target the stomach?”

JESSE: “I guess we'll find that out.”

It seems like an eternity, but was only about 2 minutes. BPP finally breaks the crossface on Tony, handstanding into a legdrop onto Tony's neck. BPP decides this isn't enough, and pulls Tony up, once again holding Tony with a facing Full-Nelson. This time he connects...Synchronicity Bomb!

JR: “BPP didn't get as much of that as he wanted. His back is hurting from the spinebuster.”

JESSE: “That was Tony's plan! Ha! BPP has to have a strong back to pull off his moves. Tony's Out of Body Experience has weakened that! What strategy.”

JR: “You may have a point there.”

JESSE: “I always have a point.”

Tony gets to his feet at 8, and we see a smile crack across his face. BPP scowls and pushes Tony down to the second rope, head draped across the ring-rope. BPP with a running leg splash on Tony's back. But BPP drops down, holding his knee in pain. Both men take a five count to get back up

25:00

Both men seem weary to attack at this stage, the toll of the long match beginning to wear down the endurance both men have gained in training. They circle each other again, BPP this time dancing in and out, his youth an obvious advantage now. Tony is squared up, moving slowly but with calculated purpose.

BPP connects with a soft kick to the shin and slightly harder kick to Tony's gut. Small and quick twisting ddt, but Tony slips out at the last minute, back-rolling and catching a suprised BPP with a kick to his back. BPP is stunned, and Tony picks BPP up into a bearhug!

JR: “The move may be boring, but in this match, its a great move for Tony to lock-in.”

JESSE: “It hurts BPP's back, ribs, and stomach.”

BPP slowly begins to fade after about a minute of being in the hold. Tony then drops BPP down, and then picks him up and hits him with a second Out Of Body Experience!

BPP is left crumpled at that attack. The referee begins to count to 10. At three, BPP stirs, his head hitting the bottom rope. At 5 BPP begins to slide his feet to the ring apron. At 7, he slips under the rope. At 9, he drops off the ring apron and stands up, supported by the ring.

JR: “BPP used the ring to make the 10 count.”

JESSE: “Dammit! If only he had been farther from the ropes.”

Tony charges with a baseball slide kick, which BPP barely sidesteps. Tony slides out of the ring and into BPP's right palm. In desperation, BPP pounds Tony's head against the ring apron repeatedly. The ref demands the action be brought back into the ring, and BPP rolls Tony in, following in afterwards.

20:00

::Twenty minutes left in this match, Twenty minutes::

Tony groggily stands up, and BPP sends several throat thrusts his way. Tony's throat turns red. Faster than anyone thought possible, BPP twists across Tony's chest and shoulders...modified stunner!

JR: “Perhaps that's a prelude to BPP's Deliverance?”

JESSE: “Whatever it’s named this week.”

Tony sells like a drunken Scott Hall. BPP hits rights to send Tony back into the turnbuckle, pulling him up to a sitting position on the top rope. BPP scales as the crowd rises to its feet. Top Rope Tiger Driver!

::Crowd chants "Holy shit"::

JR: “Now there's a move that's old school BPP.”

JESSE: “Tony's too near the ropes those. He'll use those.”

Sure enough, Tony uses the ropes to pull himself up after taking full advantage of the 10 count, getting on his feet at nine. The crowd meets him with applause.

15:00

::Fifteen minutes left in this match, Fifteen minutes::

BPP charges into Tony, beginning to abandon the methodical pace of the match thus far. Snap Suplex, and then another one to Tony, finishing the sequence with a stalling high angle suplex. BPP wastes no time with this flurry of offense. picking Tony up and striking with a European Uppercut.

JR: “BPP is going for it all here.”

With a whip to the ropes, BPP goes for a running knee lift, but Tony still has wind left in him too, and he counters with a modified version of a dragon screw leg whip on BPP's bad leg! BPP hobbles around the ring, but Tony catches him with a belly to belly throw!

JESSE: “Wow, now that had some impact.”

Near the ropes, Tony turns BPP into what looks like another German. BPP breaks the hold and moves around, locking in his own and throws Tony over the top rope...but Tony catches the bottom rope with his hands with legs trapping BPP's arms!

JR: “What the? Did Tony spend time in Japan, That's a modified Tarantula! Shades of Tajiri!”

JESSE: “HA! I taught him that one!”

JR: “I’m sure you did.”

Tony breaks the back-killing hold before the ref can administer a 5-count. BPP falls back down, panting, and Tony lands on his feet outside the ring. He ducks under the ring while the ref checks on BPP, starting a 10 count.

JR: “What's Tony going for?”

Tony pulls out a steel chair!

10:00

::Ten minutes are left in this match, ten minutes::

Tony slides in with the chair while BPP starts to raise himself at 6. Tony unflattens the steel chair and sits it in the ring, and grabs BPP from behind as he gets up. RELEASE OVERHEAD GERMAN SUPLEX onto the Steel Chair! The chair flattens with the impact as the crowd boos the actions of Tony, the match being kept clean up until this point.

JESSE: “Why are they booing? The man is pulling out all the stops to keep his job! BPP would do the same.”

JR: “But BPP hasn't Jesse. That's the point.”

The referee notices the chair and admonishes Tony rather than apply a ten count. Finally the referee starts, and the crowd awaits with hushed silence.

BPP uses the steel chair as a prop to help himself up. His mouth bleeds from what looks like internal injuries. Tony, as well as everyone else, is amazed to see BPP stand upright right before the 10.

BPP spits out some blood as Tony charges. BPP sidesteps and dodes, using the steel chair to nail Tony in the back of the head! The referee comes over to stop BPP, but BPP pushes him down!

JR: “Now BPP is losing it.”

JESSE: “This is sick.”

BPP has placed the chair in a Pillmanizer Position, on Tony's head. BPP scales the top turnbuckle and everyone in the arena is on their feet.

5:00

::Five minutes are left in this match, five minutes::

FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH TO THE CHAIR! BPP splashes with all his might and crashes down on Tony. Both men lie prone and out

JR: “Both men injured themselves right there.”

JESSE: “BPP's ribs and stomach have been worked on all match, and he just sacrificed his midsection to severely injure Tony's neck.”

Both men lie there for minutes as the crowd stands in a hushed silence. They both begin to stir as the referee finally comes to and removes the chair from ringside

JR: “About damn time.”

Tony has been cut wide open on his forehead from the Five Star Pillmanizer. BPP is bleeding from his mouth. Both men begin to stand up with the help of the ropes

::2 minutes left in this match, 2 minutes::

BPP kicks Tony over to the turnbuckle. and places him sitting on the top.

JR: “Could BPP be going for another Super Tiger?”

JESSE: “That would end it.”

BPP then stands Tony up with himself perched on the top rope. Slowly Tony is lifted into a hanging suplex

JR: “He's going for a top-rope Fallen Angel!”

JESSE: “He'll have to twist a lot to hit that!”

Tony starts to wriggle as BPP doesn't have the strength to pull him down. Tony falls back to a standing position on the turnbuckle

::1 minute left in the match, 1 minute::

Both men weakened, Tony places one hand on BPP's back and another on his chest. He pushes off and leaps

JESSE: “TOP ROPE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! YES!”

JR: “WAIT! BPP COUNTERED into an X-FACTOR!”

::Crowd chants "Holy Shit!"::

The referee begins counting to 10, and the crowd counts along. BPP rolls over onto his face, trying to pull himself up push-up style. Tony is just out of it, blood streaming down his face,

At nine, a bell rings.

::This match has reached its time-limit::

Officials pour down ringside, chief among them Bill Watts. The confer at ringside while Tony and BPP come to a lying face to face in the ring.

::Crowd Alternates chants of Tony! and BPP!::

::We overhear the officials talking about who got the last offensive move in::

JR: “BPP countered it into an X-Factor, he should be the winner!”

JESSE: “That was a counter, Tony couldn't hold him because he was tired. Tony got in his finisher from the top rope. He’s won dammit!”

In the ring, both men are finally standing, blood streaming down Tony's head and BPP's mouth. The two stare directly at each other. From the back , Zack Malibu joins the officials.

BPP and Tony look at each other as Zack then slides in the ring, seemingly to separate the two. Instead, BPP extends a weary hand to Tony, who takes it just as weakly. Then, with everyone watching, the two men hug, tears mixing with blood and sweat.

JR: “I think they just buried the hatchet here folks! We're getting word that this match is being declared a draw. Both men retain their respective roles.”

JESSE: I don’t like this at all. Tony had this match won. But my hat’s off to both of those men. They gave it their all, and as much as I don’t like it, that’s probably the right decision.”

Zack joins in the group hug, and we go off the air with all three men raising each other hands.

JR: “Maybe finally, now, we can begin to stand up to the aWo. Merry Christmas everyone. This is a great present for the New Year!”

JESSE: “Keep this moment in your hearts. Two men, sixty minutes, all for competition. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!”