Chanel #99 Posted May 26 Author Report Share Posted May 26 LILLIAN Ladies and gentlemen, here to talk about TWM’s Charity Initiatives, Big Papa Thrust and The Freakazoids, Bobbi Cheesecake and December Belle! WHIRRRRRRRRRR WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRR “Dystopia” by Lookas and Nolan Van Lilth hits and hits to a HUGE POP from the roaring Deviants! Not only are they delighted to see a topless Big papa Thrust, they’re popping wood for also topless Freakazoids of December Belle And Bobbi Cheesecake BIG PAPA THRUST Let’s get to the bottom line! Virginity sucks! Especially female virginity! And I’m not talking about the fat, ugly heifers that watch the show in Jacksonville or New York, they can stay fat, ugly, virgins for all I care! I’m talking to the REAL WOMEN that watch TMW. Don’t adjust your knob, I do look this good….OHHHHHH BOBBI December, what are you doing? We pan down to see December doing some knob work of her own. DECEMBER I just wanted to adjust the knob to see if he does look this good! BOBBI You already know he does, there’s nothing sexier than Big Frank Bruiser! DECEMBER Who’s Big Frank Bruiser? You shouldn’t big up other men around Big Papa, Bobbi. BOBBI Who do I even bother? BIG PAPA THRUST You see, what we’re trying to get at is that Big Papa Thrust and The Freakazoids are putting an end to female virginity everywhere! Because when I lay you women down you’ll call me your BIG BAD VAMPIRE DADDY! And when I get you between the sheets and these fangs rock your blood, you’ll know that you’ve been with more than just a man, you’ve been with a VAMPIRE! So this goes to all you freaks out there, BIG PAPA THRUST IS YOUR PLUG, SCREAM IF YOU’RE LISTENING TO ME!! Immediatley we cut backstage to TERRY TAYLOR, sweating bullets, when all of a sudden his face lights up like the heavens have opened up. A green and yellow Mustang cruises into parking lot and out steps… K-RAWK But back in the arena… BIG PAPA THRUST What the fuck is going on? This is my time on the stick so unless you wanna get fucked by a stick keep the camera on me! The following song plays... RENEE Could that be? Yes! Yes it! Is K-RAWK! K-RAWK I am K-RawkSTAR, and I am your social outcast! Getting socially outcast can be the best and most informative thing that can ever happen to you because you have to learn who you are separate from the pack. And I am far different than this pack DECEMBER Knock knock. BOBBI Who’s there? DECEMBER Don’t. BOBBI Don’t who? DECEMBER Don’t answer the door there’s a….oh shoot I forgot the punchline. BOBBI We’ve been working on this gag for 3 months!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DECEMBER Time flies when you’re having good times. BIG PAPA THRUST Hey! K-Rawkstar, you suck, I’m Big Big Papa Thrust and I do what I wanna do when I wanna do it! BITCH! “YYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” K-RAWKSATR Acting and making art is just something I love to do, and I love to tell stories that feel important, honest and necessary. It's not about me. It's about being part of something. And you three are nothing I wish to be a part of. BIG PAPA THRUST See, I’m in heaven with a couple of Freaks from Hell. But what’s really going on here is a tale of two men! One man who’s won every tag team title there is to win and another who gets tagged team by every man there is to tag team him! “YYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” K-RAWKSTAR That is offensive to my LGBTQIA sensisbilities. BIG PAPA THRUST Shut up! BAM! NO BIG PAPA THRUST DIDN’T ATTACK K-RAWK! Rather ALEXANDER THE MANGIFENCET hammered the Big Bad Vamprie Daddy from behind! ALEXANDER I told you, Frank! I told you! K-RAWKSTAR This barbarism must stop. ALEXANDER I didn’t ask for your opinion, young boy! Alexander slaps Big Papa Thrust into the Maui native’s own finisher, THE LAY-Z-BOY! REJECT That’s the ultimate humiliation. There’s gonna be some boys in the back giving Alexander the side eye. I love it. The Freakazoids try to pry Alexander off Big Papa Thrust but to no avail. None whatsoever! In fact it takes road agents and Studs to get Alexander off his victim. K-RAWKSTAR It's an amazing thing to be able to fall into the world of your childhood fantasy. But, Alexander, this male power trip must stop. ALEXANDER (flexing his guns) Are you gonna be the one to stop it, young boy? Studs get between all the parties in the ring, leaving Alexander free to flex and pose to a torrent of heel heat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 27 Author Report Share Posted May 27 We’re taken to a a grimy South LA alley way where SOUTHERN SMOKE and KIKI KIX lean against a chain link fence with a pitbull salivating behind them. PAINBOW Niggas, talking about we ain’t gonna beat The Union Jets. Niggas, don’t speak for the Union Jets speak for yourself. You got the address to the Toy Box, niggas, pull up. On the dead homies, nigga, if you think Southern Smoke ain’t about action pull up, nigga. On Georgia, nigga. ‘Cause me and Lawson at the Toy Box three days a week and we ain’t see anyone pulling up with no type of drama. KIKI They’re so scared of you it’s funny, Painbow. It’s because you’re so hard and black. I’d be scared of you if you weren’t so hard and hung. PAINBOW On Georgia, nigga, dead homies, if you got underlying conditions and hate Southern Smoke then don’t speak for the Union Jets speak for yourself, nigga. KIKI The only reason Painbow doesn’t show up to your houses and beat you up is because he’s still on papers. Otherwise, he’d demolish you punks. He’s so big and strong and black. PAINBOW Dead homies, niggas, keep speaking on Southern Smoke name. Dead homies, nigga. Fuck a nigga and they mama. KIKI And their mom’s would love to fuck you because of how hot, and sexy and black you are! LAWSON I’m a different man. I wanna thank the haters for running that damn mealy mouth of theirs, putting down Southern Smoke. Why would you do that, haters? One, you must be some dumb motherfuckers. And two because you wanna see a blood bath. You see wanna see some ECW in 95 blood bath where we rearrange the Union Jets’ facial features permanently. So whether you want to call this a brawl, a match, or whatever, in the Toy Box where this team got started, we are gonna BBQ the Union Jets Tennessee style. PAINBOW Georgia style. LAWSON Yeah, whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 27 Author Report Share Posted May 27 Now we’re taken to the one of the CAFETERIAs of UCLA! A very odd place for our cameras to be, unless we’re stalking Jade! But this time we find… GORY DRAGAN And… CHAD MUSTARD Together known as BROTICA CHAD Gory, we missed out on the Anderson Cup again. GORY Don’t worry, I got something you’re gonna like. Gory reached beneath the table and pulled out the original ANDERSON CUP. CHAD Gory, where’d you get that? GORY Traded for it. CHAD You mean for store credit? GORY No, no, traded it to Vince149 for nude pics Cassidy CHAD Thank you, 149! Have you heard the big news, though? GORY I have! Brotica is coming back to the TMW! CHAD And we’re Brotica! GORY Wow! Did you hear the big news I HEARD? CHAD Naw, Gory, what is it? GORY They’re making a life size dildo of Lawson Belle. And I got a copy? CHAD You got a copy?! You? GORY Yeah! Look! Gory pulled a teeny tiny French fry off his plate! CHAD & GORY LIFE SIZE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 29 Author Report Share Posted May 29 Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins summons “The Union Jets” LILLIAN The following is the GPX Conference Finals in the Anderson Cup! Now making their way to the ring, from the United Kingdom, they are C-4, TOM SMITH, THE UNNNIONNNN JETTTTTSSSS! “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE We saw BLK advance to the finals in a thrilling match against Coco and Money Marc. What can we expect from this match, Reject? REJECT Folks, I think you can expect a match of the year candidate. And both these teams are lucky Anglemania 21 is weeks away because they will need all that time and more to recover from the war they’re going to put themselves through. Southern Smoke entered to “Who I Smoke” by Spinabenz, Yungen Ace and Vanessa Carlton… And I need you (Hey, Drilltime) And I miss you And now I wonder If I could fall into the sky Do you think time would pass me by? 'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you (Drilltime, what you cookin'?) Tonight via GIPHY LILLIAN And their opponents, being accompanied by KIKI KIX, they are “THE L-TRAIN” LAWSON BELLE, PAINBOW, SOUTHERN SMOOKKKKEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” REJECT What if, Renee? What if the Knicks had Painbow against the bitch ass Pacers? RENEE God… DING DING DING Referee Titania Nerdly called for the bell, leading Tom Smith to start off against Lawson Belle. Would The L-Train be derailed by the fighter jet? Let’s find out! They circled each other before locking up in the center of the ring. Smith attempted to outmaneuver the Tenessse native with his technical skills and expierence, but Belle’s strength gives him an early advantage. Such advantage manifested by Lawson shoving his foe all the way into an empty corner! PAINBOW Dead homies, nigga! Dead homies! KIKI Tell em, baby, let em know, sexy! Smith came back to fire off knife edge chops, getting the usual whoo’s from the Deviants. But Lawson Belle quickly takes control, executing a series of suplex variations, including a Side Belle to Belle suplex, sending the European crashing hard into the mat. The crowd reacts with a mix of awe and concern as Lawson’s aggression sets the tone. LAWSON This is my ring! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Lawson went to the second turnbuckle, ready to showcase his agilty. But Smith shocked both Lawson and the fans by running up the ropes and flinging Lawson to the mat with a head scissors! The Brit then made the cover and Titania counted… ONE! Kickout! RENEE Our mainevent is gonna last a lot longer than this. The L-Train rolled upright and proceeded to batter Smith with chops of his own. Yet, Smith fought back with headbuitts and managed to tag in C-4, who enters the ring with explosive energy! REJECT Under normal circumstances I strongly suggest AGAINST using a headbutt of any type. A well-placed headbutt can turn the tide of a match, but it's not without its risks. Both the attacker and the victim are at serious risk of concussion. That kind of impact can rattle your brain, leaving you dazed and confused. It's a high-stakes gamble every time you go for it C-4 snatchrd Belle with a Delayed Vertical Suplex, holding him in the air for several moments before slamming him down with authority. The crowd hooted and hollered, proving sometimes the oldies are the best. Then C-4 follows up with a vicious Piledriver, trying to weaken the heel. RENEE I’d hate to see a broken neck but if C-4 keeps using that pile driver I think it’s only a matter of time… REJECT You gotta imagine Lisa Ann or her new puppet master, Pete Cayley, will have the move banned before then. A cover… ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! C-4 sent Lawson into the ropes, expecting to drill him with a powerslam on the return. But the Knoxville native had other ideas in mind and cranked his foe’s neck with a flipping neckbreaker! LAWSON Not today, bitch! Lawson tagged in Painbow, giving rise to a chorus of vulgar taunts from the jam packed Toy Box. Painbow jaw jacked with the fans even as he and Lawson floored C-4 with a double shoulder block. Cover… ONE! Kickout! The former Knicks draft pick tried to pry C-4 offf the mat with a deadlift powerbomb. But, C-4 made a shrewd counter, school boying Painbow then blasting him with a kick to the head. Little good that did as Painbow immediately ran through his foe with his trademark big boot attack!!!!!!! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE That Bitch Kicks! Blood began to rush from C-4’s nostrils, a horrific sight that echoed Lawson’s promise of a blood bath. PAINBOW You leaking, you soakin wet, faggot! RENEE You can’t say that word! PAINBOW Suck my nuts, middle aged bitch! RENEE The impact and bloodletting stunning C-4 left him laid out on the ground. From there Painbow followed up with a Painbow Brite (deadlift powerslam), causing the ring to shake under the incredible force. The crowd gasps at Painbow’s raw power, some in the front row inching away in case they catch a beating from the former Knicks pick. REJECT Renee, imagine if the NBA hadn’t pussied out and banned Painbow from the Association. How many titles would my Knicks have by now? Lawson and Painbow exchanged tags and used their power to bring C-4 down with a double gordbuster followed by a double elbow drop. Cover by Lawson… ONE! TWO! Kickout! The L-Train ground things to a halt as she cinched his foe into a reverse chinlock. Yet, despite the agony and blood C-4 managed to fight back and fight fiercely! He elbowed his way upright and cracked Lawson on the back of the head with a dropkick! RENEE Don’t be fooled, guys. C-4 is more than raw power, he’s super speedy as well. The Union Jets regroup and launched a coordinated double-team assault. Smith and C-4 hit their devastating Detonator (Superplex and Diving Headbutt combo) on Belle. The crowd erupted, believing the match could be over, and Union Jets could be headed to the finals! ONE! TWO! But Painbow broke up the pin just in the nick of time, saving his team from certain doom! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” the fans howled. The action became chaotic, with all four men in the ring at once. Smith and Belle trade heavy blows, while Painbow and C-4 battle fiercely! REJECT Tony Brannigan used to say we need two referees for tag team matches. I used to say he was nuts but now I’m seeing the logic. RENEE I don’t know if Titania is gonna be able to keep this under control. C-4 gains the upper hand and hits Painbow with a Second Rope Shoulder Block, sending both men toppling through the ring ropes! But before C-4 can capitalize, Belle locked in his dreaded Ankle Lock on Tom Smith! LAWSON Tap! Tap! Smith writhed and hollered in pain, desperately reaching for the ropes. But Lawson kept yanking him back, hungry for the victory! REJECT The Ankle Lock, folks, is one of the most precise and deadly submissions in the game. Once it's locked in, the pain is immediate and excruciating. It's not just about causing discomfort; it's about inflicting targeted damage that can end a match in seconds. The tension in the arena is palpable as Smith refuses to tap out. C-4, seeing his partner in trouble, charges at Belle to break the hold, but Painbow intercepts with a crushing Red Wraith (Full Nelson Slam), taking C-4 out of the equation! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!” KIKI Fuck yes!!! RENEE I don’t think C-4 was expecting Painbow to come in with Red Wraith! Not at all! With Smith still trapped in the Ankle Lock and in excruciating pain, The L-Train tightens his grip, dragging him back to the center of the ring. The crowd is on the edge of their seats, sensing the end is near. REJECT The beauty of the Ankle Lock lies in its immediate impact. You don't have a grace period to endure the pain; it hits you all at once. RENEE That look on Smith’s face is anything but beautiful. Just when it looks like Smith might tap, Painbow tags in and sets up for his devastating finisher. Hoisting Smith up with ease, Painbow delivers the Slime Shit (deadlift cradle powerbomb) with tremendous force. The ring shakes from the impact, and the crowd is in shock. Cover…. ONE! KIKI FUCK YES! TWO! THREE!!!! KIKI YES! FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! DING DING DING Winners of the GPX Bracket: Southern Smoke RENEE What an incredible match! Southern Smoke has just pulled off a monumental victory over the former TMW Tag Team Champions! And now we have our Anderson Cup finals match! BLK against Southern Smoke. Southern Smoke celebrated their hard-fought victory, taunting the crowd and sending a clear message to the entire TMW roster. Painbow flashed more gang signs while Belle stands stoically, soaking in the moment. Meanwhile, The Union Jets regroup, clearly disappointed, covered in crimson, but determined to come back stronger. FADE OUT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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