Chanel #99 Posted December 4, 2023 Report Share Posted December 4, 2023 THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PORN AND SPORTS AND ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS RAW IS WHORE! After the opening we’re taken to a festive themed SOFA CENTRAL. By that I mean a tree by Renee, sporting ornaments of the logos of past OAOAST legends. Not to mention gaudy pink and blue flashing lights. Renee wears a Santa Hat and Reindeer nose. And Reject? Well Reject wears black. RENEE Welcome to another exciting edition of TMW! Where the Hotties are naughty and nice guys get coal in their stockings. REJECT And dicks in their bitches! Haahhahah! RENEE Some incredible action tonight as we see our final two first round Anderson Cup contests. BLACK T BRACKET BLK (Booker X & Martin Garvey -Vs- DWM REJECT DWM recently aligned with my boy Abdullah Abir Nerdly. You know why? To get them blessings! RENEE Whoevr wins that match advances to fight Coco Chanel and Money Marc in the conference finals. GPX BRACKET Southern Smoke -Vs- Big Hairy Nutt Saks RENEE The winners book a date in the conference finals with The Union Jets. The Nutt Saks and Southern Smoke are wwo teams going in very opposite directions. Southern Smoke is on a tear and Big Hairy Nutt Saks may be on Lisa Ann’s chopping black. REJECT Balrogj and Julius went from top 5 to not mentioned at all. RENEE But first we’ve got a major treat, three talented rookies ready to make a name for themselves in the world of professional wrestling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 4, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2023 RENEE But first we’ve got a major treat, three talented rookies ready to make a name for themselves in the world of professional wrestling. The view turns to the ring where a TALL YOUNG BLACK MAN IN A BLACK GI BOWS to brothers in jeans and cowboy hats. RENEE That’s Kobie Tai, fresh off a serious ACL tear working his way to the main roster. He’ll team with brothers from Bandera Texas, Billie and Kip- Whats up Fresh , its our turn baby!!!!!! REJECT Lisa Ann put these young boys against The Big Tymers? Hahaah finally she made a right move outside a porn set. Instead of the usual trio we are “graced” merely by a loin cloth wearing BEDROCK and a shiny red and green suit clad MISTER STEAL YO PUSH RENEE No, Reject, Lisa Ann DID NOT place them against The Big Tymers. REJECT She’s worse than Alfdogg. That matters not as BEDROCK charges into the ring and immedialtley mows down the brothers with a lariat! “OOOOOHHHHHHHH!” Kobe Tai puts himself into a defensive stance. That does little to help him as Bedrock knocks him out of the ring with a THRUST KICK! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” REJECT Imagine how hard a kick has to be for it to get a Holy Shit chant! MSYP produces a microphone ADORNED IN CHRISTMAS garland. MSYP Back in my man, Rock’s, time they didn’t have Christmas, no goodwill towards men, no peace on earth. Rock comes from a time when MEN WERE MEN! BEDROCK Blaaaaargh! RENEE So men haven’t been men for two hundred thousand years? MSYP But time gotta move forward and the world moved forward to produce punk ass LITTLE BABY BOYS like Blaine Cayley. Yeah, I said it. This pip pip cheerio Welsh man took out a REAL ONE, a motherfucking REAL ONE, Win Griffey JR RENEE The OAOAST has had murders on screen, and we still determined that Blaine’s attack that nearly cost Win Griffey JR his eye was too brutal to show. REJECT That’s why we got a website. MSYP Blaine, what an awful name. Your rich parents shoulda named you DUMB ASS in all caps. And they should buy you a good lawyer because Win is going to SUE YOUR ASS! Excuse me, ARSE! And Lisa Ann, Toni Patrica,we don’t want your legs open, we don’t want your purses open, we want the Anglemania 21 mainevent open. You owe us, THE BIG TYMERS, restitution! RENEE Restitution? MSYP And you’re going to give it like Sammi gave it to Win. Like Win dicked down Sammi, Bedrock is gonna dick down Tanner, make him humble, remind him of what it was like when December put that plastic dong up his ass in the Ejaculation Chamber. RENEE I remember that, and I wish I hadn’t. MSYP And after centuries upon centuires on ice, Bedrock is gonna usher in the BEDROCK AGE as Galaxy Champion! I wanna go somewhere so take me, show me fire I wanna go somewhere, I don't care, hold me tighter I wanna go somewhere so drive me, drive me faster Hey Speed up on a highway Slow down, do what I say So hot when you touch me Real love when you kiss me Make me wanna come alive Baby, you know what I like Fast car, take me for a ride Just drive Drive, drive, drive RENEE I think the champ may have something to say about that! REJECT He’s lucky his jaw isn’t wired shut after the beating Coco Chanel and Money Marc gave him in the Anderson Cup. Then again he got off easier than Sammi. RENEE Money Marc and Coco Chanel took advantage of Tanner’s partner Blaine’s absence. And Money Morc hit Sammi with a cruel Death Valley Driver. Our Galaxy Champ marchee to the ring, “chiil” demeanor replaced by a furrowed brow and set lips MSYP Speaking o guys with stupid names…Look who it is, Bedrock! BEDROCK BLARGH?! MSYP This is BIG TYMER time. But I know you’re here to throw that belt at Bedrock’s feet like Sammi threw her cute lil rich girl ass at Win. TANNER Pick a hand. MSYP Pick a hand? TANNER Pick a hand. MSYP Pick…Woah, woah., wait a minute, man MSYP not so subtley slides behind Bedrock. MSYP It’s the holiday season, my brother. Don’t you understand the meaning of the Holidays? Let em know, Bedrock. RENEE But Push just said, never mind. TANNER I said pick a hand. Uh (uh), uh (uh), uh (c'mon) Ha, sicker than your average Poppa twist cabbage off instinct Niggas don't think shit stink Pink gators, my Detroit players REJECT I feel like I just got into a higher tax bracket. With good reason, the 1 Percent duo of MONEY MARC BENETT and CONAN “COCO” CHANEL emerge in matching gold sweater vests that would get three thumbs up from the Mean Street Posse. REJECT Bringing Brooks Brothers back! MONEY MARC Pick a hand? Pick a hand? Do you hear this schmuck, Coco? CONAN Unfortunately. MONEY MARC Tanner, my old tag team partner, I bet you see four hands because you’re seeing double after the beating we laid on you in the Anderson Cup. But it doesn’t matter, Push, because Tanner’s strikes were always on the limp wrist side. Does that explain why he’s only “close friends” with EX-SUPERSTAR Sammi Cayley. Tanner says nothing and instead paces back and forth, clearly growing angrier. MONEY MARC I have a good idea for you, Tanner. It’s the reason why I was pretty torn up our tag team ended. I want you to PICK A CHORE: Conan needs his Mercedes washed, I need my dry cleaning picked up, Rena needs the poodles walked. What do ya think? Which one do you wanna start with, champ? TANNER I learned something from our partnership also, bro. I will NEVER sell my soul to a piece of slime like you! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COCO CHANEL It’s unfortunate you would waste your breath on such empty gibberish. You devalue your already worthless life and you soil that title even further. Yes, Mister Steal Yo Push, the Christmas season has arrived. Yet, Tanner? Money Marc and Coco Chanel exchange smirks as they march to the ring. COCO CHANEL We’ll be celebrating your “last supper.” RENEE Tanner is in BIG trouble! REJECT And his tag team partner is in the slammer. Suddenly the fans erupt with a SIZEABLE POP as the BOMBER JACKET SPORTING BRITISH DUO OF THE UINION JETS run in and attack MONEY MARC and CONAN CHANEL! REJECT The hell do these jerks think their doing? RENEE Evening the odds! Free of the moneyed heels threat, Tanner blasts Bedrock with a spinning wheel kick! The blow sends Bedrock into the ropes. This leaves him open and Tanner lets out a ROAR as he dropkicks Bedrock OVER THE ROPES! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans chant as MISTER STEAL YA PUSH wisely dives out the ring. RENEE You still have that hand to pick, Push! REJECT Someone must tell The Union Jets to pick their bags off the locker room floor and get out. RENEE I think we need more guys like The Union Jets. Not less! TONIGHT….ANNIE IDOL GETS TO THE POINT WITH CASSIDY MAGUIRE AND THE INTRUDER! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 5, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2023 ARE YOU READY FOR A HYPE VID?! Roll the dice, play your cards Break the rules, that's who you are Whoever said play it safe never played the game Too many players but too many pawns So many judges say what's right or wrong Let them jump into the fire if they want to play (play) 2023 ANDERSON CUP GPX BRACKET Union Jets -Vs- Same Ol Shits Horse threw C-4 into the ropes and got the quite the surprise when C-4 came back with a running DDT! Yet Horse was fast on his feet, throwing a slooooooooooow moving Haymaker. Due to the slooooooooooow nature of the attack, C-4 interrupted it with a kick to the thigh. Hampered, Horse was stuffed into a standing head scissors! RENEE C-4 looking for that piledriver! But Horse lifted him into the setup for an Alabama Slam! Except Smith saved his partner from a punishing attack. Together, the vets used all their might to toss Horse through the ropes! RENEE Out goes Horse! REJECT It was easier to toss him THROUGH the ropes than OVER. Smart thinking by two smart wrestlers. Wakefield tried to double lariat the pair but they easily ducked his attack. Then they went on the offensive, C-4 setting him on the top rope. After Smith climbed to the opposite rope, C-4 hit a superplex! Smith followed things up with a deadly diving headbutt!!!!! “YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE The Detonator! Cover…….. CROWDF ONE! CROWD TWO!!! CROWD THREE!!!!!!!! WINNERS: The Union Jets, 'Cause it's a deadly game that we play as we live our lives When we say what is on our minds Play it now before the game is over 2023 ANDERSON CUP BLACK T BRACKET Coco Chanel & Money Marc -Vs- Blaine Cayley and Tanner Neptune LILLIAN The following contest is a HANDICAP MATCH in the BLACK T bracket of the ANDERSON CUP!!!!! REJECT A handicap match in a TAG TEAM tournament. Lisa Ann is a joke. RENEE She got placed in a very bad situation. REJECT She dd? What about Win Griffey? RENEE We still haven’t been able to contact Blaine, the police haven’t found him, and…. Money Marc rose, eyes glazed over. He had no answer for Tanner hauling him to the mat with a hurricanrana! Titania counted the pin….. ONE! TWO! Money Marc got the shoulder up! With the fans solidly rooting Tanner on, the Galaxy Champion made an unsteady rise to the top turnbuckle. RENEE That’s not how we usually see Tanner climb to the top. He’s always leaping. And easily at that. REJECT Ain’t nothing about this match been easy for Tanner. But that’s Lisa Ann’s fault. The crowd waited for Tanner’s version of the five star frog splash, but all they saw was Coco Chanel pitch him off the top! Tanner landed in a heap, unable to brace for his fall. COCO Life without purpose is quite dull, Tanner Neptune, and your purpose is to suffer. We soon learned what meant as Coco swiftly assailed Tanner with curb stomps! Yes, that’s right STOMPS, plural. Stomp after stomp landed on Tanner’s once handsome face, causing blood to spill onto the ring as if we witnessed a mass shooting! RENEE That’s Black Opium! REJECT And that’s one of the most brutal finishers I have ever seen. Tanner’s body was lifeless, yet the blood continued to flow, soaking Conan up to his pink and white knee pads. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! CROWD :o RENEE Sammi! Sammi Cayley just hit Conan Chanel with her FIELD HOCKEY STICK! CRAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! RENEE She hit him again! DING DING DING Winners: Conan “Coco” Chanel and Money Marc Benett, via DQ 'Cause it's a deadly game that we play as we live our lives When we say what is on our minds Play it now before the game is over 'Cause it's a deadly game that we play as we live our lives When we say what is on our minds Play it now before the game is over... over... over Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 6, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2023 As the HYPE VIDEO winds down we come to a real Christmas gift, the sexy Sara Jean Underwood! SARA JEAN What is up, gang? It is Sara Jean with Das Wrestling Machine and their brand new spiritual advisor, ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY!! Reinhardt jiggles his pecs, Abdullah smiles his creepiest smile, but White Lothar is turned away from the camera obviously preoccupied. SARA JEAN Abdullah Abir Nerdly you are leading another great tag team in the Anderson Cup. DWM is just minute away from their first round Anderosn Cup match in the Black T bracket against Booker X and Martin Garvey of BLK. REINGHARD FINISH THEM! Abdullah whispers “thank you” to whatever strange god he worships before turning that insincere smile on Sara Jean. SARA JEAN Are you ready to take another team to the top of the mountain? ABDULLAH That’s a strong phrase and it’s not for everybody. BLK, think they live on the top of mountain but they live in HOUSE OF LIES! And their families, their people, their souls are SUFFERING BY IT! REGINHART WE WILL MAKE THEM SUFFER! ABDULLAH The top of the mountain is reserved for only the chosen! As sure as god sings my name to his angels, as sure god smites my enemies, as soon as god blesses my Cash App, I am SURE DAS WRESTLING MACHINE belongs on the top of the mountain. REIGNHART OUR RIGHT TO RULE! Shockingly, White Lothar is still quiet with his busy work. SARA JEAN But why DWM instead if Conan and Money Marc or Hairy Nutt Saks or anyone? Why them. ABDULLAH I should make you give me a thousand-dollar VOW OF FAITH for questioning HIM! SARA JEAN Who is "him," Abdullah? ABDULLAH Him is the EVERLASTING, Sara Jean. The Everlasting guided his sheep, ourselves, under his supreme eye. SARA JEAN Do you mean god? ABDULLAH Beyond god. Well beyond. SARA JEAN That sounds wild. Did this Everlasting tell you to attack Fabian Nystrom during his match with The Intruder at Slammed? REIGNHART I SPIT ON FABIAN NYSTROM! And yet White Lothar continues his busy work. ABDULLAH Sara Jean there is a time to feast and there is a time to fast! There’s a time to sow and there’s a time to reap! The Everlasting has told us that Fabian may no longer feast, he may no longer sow. He now fasts. He now reaps. SARA JEAN Hey, White Lothar, you don’t seem like the type to believe in this “Everlasting” or be an obedient follower. What are you getting out of this? WHITE LOTHER In SARA JEAN That figures. It’s BLK against DWM! Next! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 6, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2023 WE CUT TO THE MAIN HALLWAY LEADING TOWARD THE RING! There we find BOOKER X and MARTIN GARVEY of BLK striding to the ring…and catching the eyes of some white Fluffers. BOOKER X DEE-DUB-EMM! You boysh donTH scurr BLK. No white boy doesth. You NEVER HAVE AND YOU NEVER WILL! WE'RE GOIN' PUT YOU IN DA GROUNDTH! MARTIN GARVEY Hey, look it here, DWM. You gonna lose but you in the mainevent. It don’t matter if we start the show, end the show or gangbang Miss Kunt at halftime, because this goes without saying…WE ARE DEM NIGGAS!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 13, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2023 LILLIAN Ladies and Deviants it is now time for the final opening round Anderson Cup match in the Black T conference! “T-M-W! T-M-W! T-M-W!” RENEE Somewhere the smug jerks of Coco Chanel and Money Marc are in a luxury suite waiting to see who will face them in the Confrence Finals. Will it be the European assault unit Das Wrestling Machine. Or will it be Booker X and Martin Garvey of BLK. Du, du hast, du hast mich Du, du hast, du hast mich Du, du hast, du hast mich Du, du hast, du hast mich LILLIAN Introducing first, being accompanied by THE SPEAKER FOR THE PROPHETS, ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY, they are “THE PANTHER” WHITE LOTHAR, “THE BLACK PLAUGE” REIGNHARDT….DASSS WRESSTLING MAAACHHHIINNE! “BBBBBOOOOOOOO!” RENEE Abdullah Abir Nerdly and DWM is a match made in heaven. REJECT Hey, you said something intelligent. Good job. Keep it up. RENEE They might have damnded themselves by attacking Fabian unprovoked during his match with the The Intruder at Slammed. Fabian is refusing to wrestlte Pierce Duncan at Anglemania 21 because he wants to fight DWM and Abdullah in a handicap match. I'M A GET THAT PUSSY RIGHT HEEEEERRRRREEE!!!!!!!!!! LILLIAN And their opponents, “THE MELATONIN MAGICAN” MARTIN GARVEY, BOOKER X, the longest reigning tag team champions in OAOAST history, they are BLLLLLKKKKKKKK! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAA!” FINSE via GIPHY RENNE Guys, we have a TON of great teams in this tournament. But who has had more Success than Booker X and Martin Garvey? Did you hear what Lillian said? Longest reigning champs? Two years, Reject! REJECT I’ll give the black devils their due. But they were also fighting champions and they’ve wrestled more matches in the last two years then some of these teams combined. It’s about seizing the moment and I dobut BLK has the energy to do just that. REFEREE RIKISHI calls for the BELL Reignhart stares down the smaller Garvey. And Garvey shows no fear instead flexing his fists ala CM Punk. GARVEY Your outfit? “WACK!” The fans shout. GARVEY Your skills? “WACK!” GARVEY Your team? “WACK!!!” Reignhardt didn’t appreciate that and bulldozed Martin into an empty corner. REJECT Shouldn’t have poked the bear! But when the big German raised his fist for an overhand punch Martin quickly caught him with a leaping knee to the chin! REIGNHARDT Ahhh! Reignhardt recovered but wasn’t fast enough to prevent The Melatonin Magician from drilling him with a rolling koopu kick! REJECT Yo, we got my man Abdullah on commentary now. Abdullah, peace be with you, father. ABDULLAH To you as well, my son. RENEE I’m going to be sick. Garvey tapped Reighardt in a headlock, which was not the wisest of moves due to Reignhardt’s almost inhuman strength. So it was no surprise when Reignhart pushed his smaller foe to the ropes. The Flint native valiantly charged back but met with a stiff shoulder block from Reignhart! REIGNHARDT You will be CRUSHED! RENEE Abdullah, I’m going to ask what you think you’re accomplishing by having DWM attack Fabian Nystrom? REJECT Who givea crap if it upsets Fabian? Lisa Ann booked him in a match with Pierce Duncan at Anglemania 21! What’s he going to do? No show? Reignhardt dragged Martin to the DWM corner where the big man slapped hands with Lothar. The Deviants did not much welcome Lothar into the affair. Nor did he endear himself when he raked Garvey’s eyes across the ropes. Groaning in pain, Garvey staggered into Lothar’s waiting snap DDT! Cover…. ONE! Kickout! ABDULLAH Attacking Fabian Nystrom was the will of the Everlasting. Do you not understand? The will of the Everlasting is your blood, your life, your soul! Thank you, Lisa Ann, for this time, and thank you, Everlasting. I have said your word. And I will continue to do so. REJECT Thank god! ABDULLLAH 😊 Lothar and Garvey lock up in the center, and White Lothar quickly took control with a series of technical maneuvers, exploiting his opponent's overconfidence. Stubborn to the end, Garvey started throwing wild punches at the Austrian’s face. REJECT Like Sandman Garvey has zero punching technqie but a lot of demented power. RENEE I hope Garvey never has a daughter like Sandman’s. The speedy Garvey sprung off the ropes with a crossbody effort! But he didn’t count on Lothar’s speed and the Austrian shot Garvey down with a dropkick! “OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!” WHITE LOTHAR Are you not entertained?! REIGNHARDT I AM! As White Lothar gains the upper hand, he tagged in the powerhouse, Reignhardt. The German giant entered the ring, bald head glistening under the arena lights. REIGNHARDT FINISH HIM! Well, Whit Lothar decides to leave that to his burly partner. But when Reignhart =attempted to press slam Garvey, the Melatonin Magican slipped out the back and floored Reignhardt with an inverted DDT! But that wasn’t enough to keep the now fuming Reignhardt down. Luckily, Garvey’s speed gave him the edge and he clocked Reignhart with the enziguri known as NEGRONOMETRTY!!! REJECT The force and quickness that Garvey can snap off strikes is amazing. But, he’s reckless just like Sandman. I never met a dumber legend than Sandy. Booker X got the tag, pleasing to the size queens! Reignhardt struggled but Martin was able to whip him at Booker who delivered a simple but deadly side kick! Rikishi counted the cover…. ONE! A kickout Booker X, the imposing force from BLK, stood up to this German superman! We saw a clash of power versus power electrify the crowd as Reignhardt and Booker X engaged in a fierce exchange of stiff, punishing moves. ABDULLAH The world has tried living Fabian’s way for one thousand years. And the world has come up short. DWM tried it a heretical, lost, cowardly, way, and they came up short. Worries, pressure, strife, stress, poverty, loneliness? No more! Now let’s use our faith in the Everlasting to bring PROSPERITY ONTO THE SCENE! REJECT Yes! I feel the spirit! I feel it! RENEE Good grief. A violent exchange of heavy blows between the big men thrilled the blood lusting Deviants. The outcome of Booker X dropping Reignhardt with a high-angle scoop slam was even better! Except to the Alex Wright look a like near the entry ramp. He was said. Cover…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! RENEE Remember, gang, the winner of this match moves on to face Conan Chanel and Money Marc in the conference final. But neither DWM or Coco and Money Marc have held gold. And no one has done it longer than BLK. REJECT That sounds great on BLK’s bio. But we’re in the here and now. And the only thing that matters about yesterday is the hundreds of matches BLK wrestled. Martin Garvey seized an opportune moment to tag in. Full of bluster he charged at Reignhardt! Yet his recklessnes carried him into Reignhardt’s signature rising rock bottom! “OOOOOHHHHHHHHH” REIGNHART HAIL! HAIL! HAIL! REJECT Renee, listen to that belief in Reignhard’ts voice. ABDULLAH The Everlating is a rewarder of monetary gifts to those that would diligently seek him! And those that would dare to believe and make vows to him! This is our Everlasting! Our Everlasting! The powerful German walloped Garvey with body blows and then twisted him into what looked to be a gutwrench powerbomb. But Garvey managed to shift the tide with an arm drag escape! Far slower than Garvey, by the time Reignhart rose the Melatonin Magican was slamming into him, with a moonsault press! The high-risk maneuver connected, leaving Reignhardt stunned on the mat. GARVEY OH NOOOOO! THAT’S HOW RUFF RYDERS ROLL! “YYYYEAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Money Marc and Coco have a ton of bad blood between them and BLK. REJECT If Garvey and X are looking ahead before winning THIS match, congratulations to you, father. ABDULLAH Thank you, my son. Just when it looked like BLK was headed to victory, White Lothar acted upon his cheating no-good instincts. He began blatantly removing the turnbuckle pads behind Rikishi’s back. BOOKER X He cheatin’! He cheatin! WHITE LOTHA Oh this? I’m simply going to add a bit of Christmas tinsel to it. Calm down. Booker tried to enter the ring, but was blocked by the massive blob that was Rikishi. This led White Lothar to enter the ring, where he and Reighardt lifted Garvey by the arms and legs and shot him down with a Sky Lift Slam! REJECT That is what two powerful wrestlers can do when they come together. They cause damage. Reignhardt resumed the attack with a vengeance. He unleashed a barrage of power moves, aiming to wear down Garvey. Yet, the Melatonian Michigan was able to flip out Reignhardt’s powerbomb effort. But, Garvey landed in front of Lothar who simply clubbed him in the back! BOOKER REF, WATCHH HIMTH! Garvey stumbled into the line of fire and Reignhart mowed him down with a lariat! Cover… ONE! TWO! Kickout White Lothar entered the ring, intending on seizing the winning pinfall for himself. WHITE LOTHAR Martin, Martin, Main. “Melatonin Magican,” give a us a trick before your demise. The magic man made nearly made White Lothar’s teeth disappear with a pele kick! ABDULLAH I am in disbelief! No! Noooooooo! RENEE Don’t you have any managerial advice for them? ABDULLAH Trust in the everlasting, trust In the everlasting, trust in the evelasting.’’ The well hung and well tested BLK railed together! Martin Garvey and Booker X synchronized their efforts, setting up for a show-stopping double-team finisher. Booker X lifted White Lothar into the air, holding him in a powerful position, while Garvey again ascended the turnbuckle. But, ADBULLAH arrived to shove Garvey off the posts! The Flint native endured a terrible crash concerning even the most cynical Devaints. REJECT Divine Intervention, Renee. RENEE Cheating! That’s what that was! Referee Rikishi busied himself with admonishing Abdullah, who uses the “divine intervention” line! REJECT Told you. DWM surrounded Booker X with the black giant’s partner still suffering from his fall. REIGNHARDT FINISH HIM!!!!!!! WHITE LOTHAR A brilllaint idea. The European gapplers set Booker X up for the crucifix powerbomb with Reignhardt doing the heavy lifting. Of course. But wait! FABIAN NYSTROM exploded into the ring to bash Lothar with a CROWBAR! “YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!” REJECT Rikishi, do your damn job and turn around! RENEE So now you need him to pay attention? REJECT Yes! Reignhardt dropped Booker X intending on driving a metaphorical stake through Fabian’s heart! REIGNHARDT FINISH YOU! Yet it was Reignhardt on the receiving end of a finisher, Booker X’s axe bomb known as X BOMBER!!!! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE This match isn’t everlasting! This match is finished! Rikishi waddle to count the fall….. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING Winner: BLK RENEE It was Divine Intervention alright. “The Divine” Fabian Nystrom! REJECT DWM should be advancing to face Coco and Money Marc. I know it and you know it. RENEE Then neither of us know much! The already pumped fans grew even louder as Fabian dragged a helpless ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY into the ring! FABIAN Come on your crooked son of a bitch! Let’s go, baby! “YYYYYEAAAAAAA!” REJECT Somebody help him! RENEE Why don’t you help him? REJECT …… Fabian scowled as he swung the microphone, crashing it over Nerdly's head, sending him sprawling to the mat. Worse yet, blood freely flowed from a gash above Abdullah’s brow! RENEE It’s not the blood of Christ but- REJECT It’s worse! The Toy Box shook as the Deviants praised not the Everlasting, but the DIVINE! “FABIAN! FABIAN! FABIAN!” Reignhardt sought to avenge his spiritual guide and bum rushed Fabian from behind! Yet, Fabian recovered, ready to trade blows with the German thanks to his vampiric strength. The numbers won out over supernatural might; White Lothar scooped and swung Fabian to the ground with a violent blue thunder bomb! RENEE Blaue Donnerbombe! WHITE LOTHAR Stay down, you should know when you’re conquered. RENEE This…hey, LOOK, REJECT, LOOK! PIERCE DUNCAN SOARED DOWN THE ENTRANCE RAMP, BASEBALL BAT IN TOW! His eyes locked with DWM, letting him know their new acronym would be DOA! “YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE In the land of the Dodgers, LA native Pierce Duncan comes with the save for Fabian Nystrom! Oh, how wrong you are, Renee. Instead, Pierce WALLOPED Fabian with the bat the moment the vampire rose! CROWD Pierce motioned the European thugs into the ring, and they were pleased to join. “FUCK YOU, PIERCE! FUCK YOU, PIERCE! FUCK YOU, PIERCE!” REJECT Seems like Piece learned how to maneuver like his dad does. Think he can get Ohtani money from Toni Patrica? Abdullah praised Pierce, the Everlasting, and his bank account as his charges decimated a helpless and weakened Fabian. “FUCK YOU, PIERCE! FUCK YOU, PIERCE! FUCK YOU, PIERCE!” Pierce infuriated the crowd even further as he allowed Abdullah to worship his flexing the guns above a knocked out and thoroughly vanquished Fabian RENEE Has Pierce Duncan aligned himself with Abdulllah Abir Nedly and DWM? REJECT Looks like Nystrom is gonna want that Mania match with Pierce after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 13, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2023 Backstage we see… THE BOUNTY HUNTER watching a preview for Annie’s interview with the power couple. THE BOUNTY HUNTER So they think they can replace me with Annie? I’m way cuter than Annie, and I’m not an embarrassment to the human race! Nhehehe, I’ll hit em with the Hot Newz on my Hotline. Hmmm. What Hottie left her love child by Sloppy Joe in a laundrymat coin locker? Starts with Annie ends with AHHHHHHHHH! TBH has bigger problems than his scam hotline; werewolf TURBOWOLF has collared him from behind with murder flaring in his eyes. TBH ACCCCKKKKKK! TURBOWOLF You set me up, bitch! TBH Accck! TURBOWOLF You knew REX was going to interfere at our Cage Match at Slammed! YOU KNEW! TBH Acccck! Help arrives in the form of the monstorous, muscle bound REX! The PhD turned roid head bulldozes TurboWolf sending both the werewolf and The Bounty Hunter clattering to the ground. Not one for bravery, TBH scurries away all while coughing and wheezing. Thus he doesn’t get to watch the impressive display of ReX POWERBOMBING TurboWolf through a table! REX I’M A MONSTER!! No one could argue that as ReX flexes above the wreckage of table and werewolf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 15, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2023 We’re taken to a (sadly) famillar building, the LA COUNTY JAIL. Inside there’s the chaotic mania of one of the largest jails on earth. Just in the lobby there’s officers, drunks, suspects, hardened criminals, and support staff all vying to be heard and acknowledged. Yet, everyone who passes through can notice the lean young blond man sitting on a bench with his hands in his pockets… BLAINE CAYLEY BLAINE Can I go now? No one hears him. BLAINE I said I want to go. Finally an officer who looks like the fat black chick on Night Court looms over Blaine. The Lion barely bothers to cast her a glance. BLAINE I’m ready to go. LADY OFFICER Mister Cayley. BLAINE Blaine will do. LADY OFFICER As has been explained to you numerous times, you have been judged mentally unfit to be released under your own recognizance. You need a family member or trusted friend to take you into their custody. BLAINE That’s a bit of a shame, eh. I’ve abandoned the only friends I have and have systematically alienated my family. MALE VOICE (off screen) I wouldn’t say all. Just the ugly ones. Blaine rises in utter shock, with mouth held agape. BLAINE Pete? The fat lady looks over to see a tiny fellow waddling to Blaine. Oddly enough his hair matches Blaine’s in texture, and the eye color is the same. PETE I hope I’m on time to get him to Christmas dinner at Denny’s. FAT LADY And you are? BLAINE This is Pete Cayley, my older brother. The fat lady looks back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. PETE Can’t you see the resemblance? The lady, in no mood for pithy quips, foists a clipboard of paperwork and a pen upon Pete. “Big” bro signs away and politely hands the paperwork to the fat officer. PETE Any chance you’re single? We have a pair of cousins in law enforcement, you see, and I- The lady NOW has had enough and walks away without another word. PETE I didn’t get to finish my pitch. Don’t you pitch things in LA? BLAINE Movies. You pitch movies, not future spousal abusers. What are you doing here, Pete? PETE (looking around) I see many people, high, plastered, hammered, but not a single Cayley besides you. And me. Blaine shoves his hands in his pockets and heads to the entry way. As he passes he has EVEN MORE people checking him out. BLAINE I thought you were in Wales. The two men had through the front door of the jail. And I’m sure Blaine will never be here again… PETE You might be surprised that enigneers have discovered a fast way to travel across the globe in the week you've been incarcerated. Would you like to hear about it? BLAINE You came all the way to LA to spring me from jail? PETE If not me, then who? BLAINE Where did it all go wrong, Pete? PETE I believe the better question is where did it go right. Blaine halts in the parking lot, head hung low. BLAINE She’s not going to forgive me is she? PETE You don’t know, do you? BLAINE Know what? What don’t I know? PETE Our sister has relinquished her duties as Lioness of sports and entertainment. BLAINE Bullshit. PETE I do wish it was, Blaine. I truly do. BLAINE Get me to the Toy Box, brother. Now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 15, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2023 We cut to one of the locker rooms where a CHAIR thrown by PIKE PANTERA nearly decapitates the cameraman. Another chair is sent hurling aside, nearly taking down PIKE’s tag team partner, JOSE CANTU-SI JOSE Take it easy, my amigo. PIKE Valencia is MY toy! Breeder can't breed HER! Only I, THE RULER OF THE GALAXY, have that right! I raped her first. She is my toy. I bred her first!! ARRRRRGH! People are looking at me like some kind of JOKE! I’m going to change that tonight. Even if someone has to BLEED. Jose smirks to himself as Pike, clenched fist and bulging muscles, heads out the room. After that we see one of the STUDS CAUTIOUSLY APPROACH Jose. STUD You’re not going to tell Pike you’re going to challenge for 2XS’ half of the Always Pimpin Title? JOSE Heh. He’ll find out soon enough. Make yourself useful. Tell Lisa Ann to get the photographers ready. I'm thinking something special for Christmas Eve. Then another drop on New Years Day. COMING UP NEXT….JOSE CANTU-SI CHALLENGES 2XS FOR ½ of the ALWAYS PIMPIN TITE….NEXT!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 16, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 16, 2023 RENEE Here’s a treat! Marty Fox has joined us for guest commentary for this Always Pimpin title affair. REJECT You get Lisa Ann’s permission to talk, kid? MARTY Did I get permission to beat Burlington Pembrokshire in record time? Did I get permission to push Fabian Nystrom to the limit at SLAMMED? Did I get permission to hit George AND Pike with the Always Pimpin Title belts last show? I’m done asking permission. From now, I take. REJECT Alright, young boy, no need to bow up with me. I'm too sexy for my shirt Too sexy for my shirt So sexy, it hurts I'm too sexy for Milan Too sexy for Milan New York or Japan via GIPHY LILLIAN The following contest is for one half of the DIPSUTED ALWAYS PIMPIN TITLES….now making his way to the ring, from San Antionio, Texas he is “THE STREAMSTOPPER” JOSE CANTU-SIIIIIIIIIII! RENEE Between Logan Mann and Jose Cantu-Si I’m not sure who gets themselves in more drama outside the ring. Valencia did a blood sacrifice on Jose, Jose created a Hot Body contest at Hottiemania just to screw Valencia over, and now his tag team partner Pike Pantera is worked up over Breeder “Breeding” his woman. And let me just say,Valencia doesn’t belong to anyone! She’s a free woman. REJECT You heard the kid. Gotta take what you want. MARTY I’m not a kid. It's such a good vibration It's such a sweet sensation It's such a good vibration It's such a sweet sensation LILLIAN And introducing the champion, being accompanied by HONEY DOVE, he hails from Reno, Nevada, he is THE BLACK SWEAT…2XXXSSSSSSSSSS!! “YYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” RENEE I don’t see Amelia Von Kruger with 2XS! REJECT Honey Dove is more that weirdo can handle. RENEE Or maybe it has something to do with Jose gifting AVK the grand prize in the Hot Body contest. DING DING DING The Deviants were on their feet and rowdy as Jose and 2xs circle each other in the ring. Jose tauned 2xs with his signature smirk, while 2xs responded with his own unique brand of mind games that must be GIF’ed to be believed… via GIPHY RENEE We’ve got two incredibly flamboyant superstars in the ring. I don’t know if the ring is big enough to hold the ego and the hairspray. REJECT These two guys have earned the right to talk their shit. Although I liked 2XS a lot better before he becamed joined at the nipple ring with George. 2xs took control early on, using his size to outmaneuver Jose. The eccentric grappler from Reno sent Jose into the ropes. Jose sped came back but not quick enough as 2Xs connected with a dropkick that sent the Streamstopper reeling. Yet, Jose got to his feet and lunged for the champ. That did Jose no good as 2XS capitalized on the momentum, executing his flipping neckbreaker, Turn The Beat Around! RENEE 2XS at 6’4 isn’t small but he can be slippery. HONEY Is that my cue? It’s my cue! RENEE Cue? HONEY Time to show slippery I can be!! “WE LOVE WHORES! WE LOVE WHORES! WE LOVE WHORES!” the fans chant to a pleased Honey Dove. REJECT You did something right for change, Renee. Merry Christmas! Jose was rightfully distracted by blondie’s oiled up melons. But this left him open to a rude awakening neckbreaker that landed with a CRUNCH! As Jose lay prone and goggy, 2XS went for the match’s 1st cover… ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! REJECT So it’s no more Mister Nice Guy, eh, kid. Well, let me give you some veteran wisdom. You may think you’re revolutionizing the game, but a long list of guys got a brand new mean streak and then got turfed out this business. MARTY Thanks. Didn’t ask. RENEE I like this new Marty! 2xs came off the 2nd rope with a fist drop that just narrowly missed a shifting Cantu-Si. JOSE You’re in it now with Streamstoppa, twosies! Honey Dove didn’t appreciate Jose mocking her pet nickname for 2XS. Nor did she appreciate Jose driving her love into the canvas with a snap DDT known as SMOLDERING PASSION! JOSE Get a look at me, THE STREAM STOPPER!! HONEY Its my next cue! REJECT Thank you, Jesus, hope you have a great birthday. JOSE Mind your business, RAT, before I put you OUT of business. Honey recoiled in fear, but luckily, her beau 2XS came to her defense; he hammered Jose with a trio of lefts before shooting the challenger into the ropes. Cagey to the last, Jose hooked the ropes to prevent his return. This led the hot-tempered 2XS to surge at Jose. Yet, Jose struck first by taking out 2XS’ knee! HONEY Oh no! Twosies! RENEE 2XS has looked good, but with how Jose is going, I think he could be one of the Always Pimpin daddies. REJECT It’s past time for Lisa Ann to knock this “two daddies” crap the fuck off. The Always Pimpin title is a singles title, it’s held by one man. But, Lisa Ann is okay to joke about our business for a cheap catchphrase. Jose mocked 2XS by bundling his hair into 2XS signature style. But the Streamstoppa got serious quickly as he cinched Black Sweat into a figure four leg lock! “YOU CAN DO IT!” A 28 year old fan in an Uber Bruiser costume shouted to encourage 2XS. HONEY DOVE It’s my next cue! Honey Dove solo.webm “FUCK HER RAW! FUCK HER RAW! FUCK HER RAW!” The Deviants chanted. RENEE I’m surprised that’s not a cue. In the ring 2XS attempted to power out the hold only to find Jose much more robust than he looked! “WHO’S YOUR DADDY? WHO’S YOUR DADDY? WHO’S YOUR DADDY?” The fans taunted Jose while also encouraging 2XS. The chant seemed to do the trick as 2XS reached the ropes. But his pain did not end; Jose held onto the ropes well past Refree Konan’s 5 count. This left Konan no choice but to pry Jose off his ailing rival. Needless to say this did not make the temperamental Texan very happy. JOSE Next time you put your hands on me, has been, will be the last time you have use of that hand! KONAN Hey, you better chill, vato! The threat felt rather empty as 2XS school boy’ed the challenger…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! RENEE What do you think about the “two daddies” situation with the Always Pimpin title, Marty? MARTY That’s not my concern, Renee. It’s nothing but an agreement between two beta males who don’t TAKE what they want. But, I DO. The entire locker room knows that I am the future SOLE owner of the Always Pimpin Title. And if they say otherwise it’s through fear or insecurity. And now I’m gonna be labeled the bad guy for saying that They’re going to call me problematic and toxic. But I’m not toxic, I’m not problematic. I’m inevitable. RENEE Wow! I’ve never heard you speak like that before. Jose hammered 2XS with overhand rights with the champion unable to defend himself. Smirking, The Stream Stoppa pitched 2XS over the ropes like the trashbag Doll gave to Sammi! 2XS landed hard, an oomph escaping his lips. Quickly, Honey Dove began checking on him. REJECT I don’t thik you “get” the business, Fox. It's not about who can do the most flips; it's about who can outsmart their opponent. A concept lost on you and your like. MARTY I used to take comments like that from the vets, nod, and thank them for the advice. But now I know the game. You, PRL, Synth you all want to speak my name because you know I’m The Crown Prince of Clout. If you don’t say my name where are you, "vets?" You’re recording videos for a Youtube Channel buried by an algorithm. Good luck with that. I'm sure the neckbeards need you to tell them how ThunderKid did the best side Russian leg sweep in the business. REJECT Don’t let a few wins go to your head, kid. RENEE Guys, we still have a match for the Always Pimpin Title! Indeed we did as Jose scooped 2XS onto his shoulders and then swiftly dropped him neck first on the LED barricade! Honey Dove recoiled in fear for her love’s health. And with good reason, Jose next rammed 2XS back first into the ring apron! REJECT That’s the hardest part of the ring and an intelligent wrestler like Jose will use it as a weapon. Jose pushed the Reno native into the ring where Konan counted the fall.. ONE! TWO! Kickout! Grumbling, Jose pitched 2XS into the ropes and swiftly shot behind him to collar him into a sleeper hold! HONEY Stay awake twosies! REJECT You think you can get the Always Pimpin title and the hot girl? But 2XS is bigger and badder, and he’s got the girl. MARTY A 2XS’ 10 is a Marty Fox’s 3. RENEE :o 2XS wavers between defeat and a strained comeback. But feeling on the brink of a title win, Jose tightens his hold, wrangling 2XS almost like he has Lawson’s skill set. “TWO TIME EM, TWOSIES! TWO TIME HIM, TWOSISES! TWO TIME HIM, TWOSIES!” the fans chanted led on by an anxious Honey Dove. Thanks to power of Deviancy and blond bimbos 2XS gathered the strength to battle off Jose! The champ employed a barrage of elbows to the midsection and wards away Jose. Not for long though, as the San Antonio native angrily charged him! Shockingly, the bigger 2XS acted first with an SOS/Rhaeni that both shocked and pained Jose! RENEE Lover to Friend! And is it challenger to also ran for Jose? 2XS ascended the turnbuckle for his patented Harlem Hangover, Kill of the Night! Yet the fans and Honey watched in horror as Jose moved aside at the last nanosecond! “OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE The top rope is like a box of chcolates. You never know what you’re gonna get! Vince149 screamed through Renee’s headset, lambasting her for such a dated reference. Jose dove atop 2XS for a crucial cover… ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAA!” MARTY Here’s where we stand, you have two guys holding one single belt, one guy hasn’t seen the gym, hasn’t seen the sun, hasn’t seen a shower, and hasn’t seen a clue. And his”husband” hasn’t seen a mirror so he doesn’t understand how ridiculous he looks. RENEE Marty, you’re really going kind of far. MARTY I haven’t gone anywhere yet. REJECT You’re an acrobat, Fox. Like you’re auditioning for the circus. In my day, we kept our feet on the ground and our opponents on the mat. This flying around is just a shortcut for those who can't wrestle. RENEE Reject… Now it was Jose’s turn to climb to the top turnbuckle. He ascended in the most flashy, showy, dancey way ever. And this cost him big time as 2XS ran up the posts, seized a shocked Jose and tossed him across the ring with an overhead belly to belly! RENEE Somewhere backstage Big Poppa Thrust is applauding. The turning point came when Jose signaled for backup, sensing the tide turning against him. The Toy Box atmosphere became brutally toxic as THE RULER OF THE GALAXY, PIKE PANTERA BARRLED DOWN THE ENTRANCE RAMP! RENEE Remember what Pike said? He might make someone bleed! Honey Dove fretted and trembled for the odds were against 2XS! But as the big man entered the ring to aid Jose, 2xs countered with a swift spin kick to Pike’s toned midsection. All the stomach crunches could not save him as he stumbled backwards and elbowed Jose in his handsome face! JOSE “YYYYEAAAAAAA!” The crowd was ien fuego, delighted to see the shocking failures of the detestd heels! 2xs, sensing the opportunity, seized the moment and hit the Kill of the Night (harlem hangover)!!! Konan scores the fall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!! DING DING DING WINNER: 2XS, still one half of the ALWAYS PIMPIN CHAMPIONS!! MARTY Thanks for the chat, Reject. I already have a spot in Universal City, so I don’t need to live in your head rent-free. REJECT You’re gonna learn to respect me, Fox. RENEE Reject, take it easy! Konan passed 2XS the Always Pimpin Title in the ring with Honey Dove beaming a big proud smile. Sadly that smile was turned upside down thanks to Pike tearing through 2XS with his version of the gore! “BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE Pike hit 2XS with that Smoking Gun and 2XS is crumpled like Christmas wrapping paper! To add to the chaos, Pike snatchd a microphone from Lillian! PIKE Christmas? New Years? Holidays are the one thing I do not want! There’s nothing to celebrate for any of you, no goodwill and peace to be had! I am the RULER OF THE GALAXY and I say there will be NO JOY, NO CELEBRATION until the two daddies are two corpses and I am recognized as ALWAYS PIMPIN CHAMPION IMMORTALIS! And Breeder? Breeder? Valencia is my fuck toy! I’LL BREED YOU!!!! The crowd DOES NOT like what they’ve heard, yet few are dumb enough to jeer and insult this man's mountain. REJECT That’s a superstar, Renee. That’s champions material. RENEE Are you just saying that because he’s your godson? REJECT He’s champion material because he is my god son. RENEE That’s not any better! Somehow it’s worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 19, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2023 "Yes! Fuck this tight white pussy, you big nigga motherfucker!!!" Don’t worry I won’t keep you waiting for long! We cut to the no doubt hot scene, which it is, PAINBOW banging his valet KIKI KIX Kiki screamed so loud she should be cast in a horror film as Painbow plowed her from behind in the Southern Smoke locker room. His thick and I do mean thick black cock slid into her with ease. Her pussy was completely soaked by her juices. KRISSY Fuck me, fuck me, destroy my cunt, you black bastard!!!! Painbow snarled at her, not liking being told what to do. Yet he indeed liked the bitch's tight twat wrapped around his monstrous member! So he thrust harder and deeper into her. His stroke was so amazing as he punished the white bitch so roughly even Luther Reigns would salute him. Kiki squealed in pleasure as he started ramming his negro dong in and out of her with an almost animal-like intensity. He was pounding her so hard that her knees started to buckle. No easy feat to do to a former MMA fighter! PAINBOW I'm that fuckin' nigga You know that, bitch! Kiki moaned and moaned and moaned turned on by his coarse language and hard nigger meat. Painbow grabbed her hips and pulled her into his deep thrusts. He was getting closer to his orgasm, closer to filling his valet with his black baby batter. KIKI Ahhh! Yes! Cum in me, you black motherfucker! Fill my white cunt with your cum! Oh yes creampie fans! He was getting closer now. His cock swelled and twitched inside her. She clenched down, as she always did, rippling her well-exercised Kegels along his fat shaft to attempt to coax out gallons upon gallons of jizz. KIKI Now! Now! Cum in me NOW! Painbow had pride! And pride told him not cum so early! Pride told him to pound this worthless white whore until she passed out! Pride told him to fill her full of his seed ONLYafter she had begged for it for hours! PANBOW Bitch, I ain’t even close to finish with your nasty cracker ass! Perhaps he should save his energy for his Anderson Cup affair against The Nutt Sak?. But this was some bomb ass Caucasian pussy! His pride would be his downfall today as he started pounding away at Kiki's soaking pussy harder than before. His low hanging chocolate balls started slapping loudly against the submissive bitch’s clit as his cock was sawing in and out of her with amazing force. The former Knick draft pick pounded into her like a mad man. The aggression that got him the boot from the NBA served him well in dominating this thick, thick, thick white fuck toy. Kiki's eyes rolled into the back of her head as her wild, out of controll orgasm hit like an Avalanche. She screamed out in pleasure and pushed herself back against the tall negro thug. Her pussy convulsed around his cock as though it were trying to lay claim to the monster dong! KIKI Yes! Yes! Fucking yes you black bastard!!! The white piece of ass screamed a torrent of unintelligible jibberish as a second orgasm ripped through her hot body. Her pussy walls spasmed around his dick again. Painbow grunted like a dog as he felt himself getting closer and closer to cumming. He gripped her hips hard and fucked her with the might only a towering brute like he could muster. No pussy vanilla midget shit here! His balls slapped against her clit again and again as he fucked her with unbridled aggression. Perhaps you might call it ruthless aggression? PAINBOW Fuck yeah, cracker bitch! You want my nut? KIKI Yes! Give me your cum, you big nigga! I want it! Give it to me!! PAINBOW Fuck yeah! Take this cum, bitch! Take it! Painbow groaned and shot his hot cum deep inside Kiki. She screamed as another orgasm took her to new highs of erotic bliss. Her thick PAWG body shook and quivered as Painbow filled her with and endless suppy of nigger nut. Yet all good semen must cum to an end. After the last spurt was emptied into her, Kiki collapsed forward onto the bench. She was completely spent. PAINBOW That was some good pussy, {Painbow said as he pulled his limp cock from her} Maybe next time I'll let you suck on my dick. Painbow put on a pair of grey sweats and headed out the door without so much as a glance at Kiki! Men are such pigs!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 19, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2023 Waiting for Painbow were an arms folded… LAWSON BELLE And a shocked SARA JEAN PAINBOW What’s the matter, white bitch? You ain’t never heard a nigga fucking? SARA JEAN That’s not… LAWSON You got some questions for us? SARA JEAN Yes! Painbow gave Kiki a pounding but in the second Anderson Cup match of the night and our final 1st round match The Big Hairy Nutt Saks want to pound you. We all know how tough and robust you two are, but The Nutt Saks have been teaming for a very long time, and they have a title reign to show for it. Can you two….. (looks at Painbow’s crotch) measure up? LAWSON Someone better remind you who we are. When The Nutt Saks were doing comedy skits I was choking out Blaine Cayley, Fabian Nystrom, Big Poppa Thrust, and ending every show with the Galaxy Title around my waist. You know why they’re such a long-time team? Because they never faced me down, and never got their ankles snapped, their jaws rocked, or their necks broke. SARA JEAN They might be cankles. LAWSON Nutt Saks, I’ll give you credit for showing up Most teams would put in their notice and asked if they got any openings in Jacksonville. But you’re here so you might as well come with whatever you got, boys. But don’t try and be something you ain’t. Big Hairy Nutt Sakks? You ain’t even pissant for Southern Smoke. PAINBOW Ay, you fat mothefuckers, you some fried chicken munching, watermelon eating fuck ass coons. What you ain’t about to do is come into the Toy Box and get one on Southern Smoke. Ya’ll niggas is jokes, safe ass non-threanting negros to impress corny ass white boys and nerd ass negros. Niggas like you ain’t outside. Niggas like you ain’t in the trenches! You only in a locker room with gyrating, twerking, twink lookking faggots, cause they the only ones who respect your paperwork. SARA JEAN You said the f word! PAINBOW Shut your mouth, cracker whore. SARA JEAN PAINBOW Southern Smoke is real motherfucking G’s! We reject ya’ll paper work, like ya mama’s shoulda rejected taking ya daddies sperm in her puss. We don’t give two fucks who been teaming longer than who. We don’t kiss no niggas ass, and we don’t suck no niggas dick. But since the Galaxy like faggots so much we gonna fuck the Nutt Saks like Ice Cube. LAWSON No vaseline. PAINBOW Heh LATER TONIGHT...ANNIE IDOL GETS TO THE POINT WITH CASSIDY MAGUIRE AND THE INTRUDER! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 20, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2023 RENEE The Holidays are a joyful time for most families. But I’m not sure the Mann residence is seeing any goodwill towards men. Reject and I interviewed Holly last TMW and Holly gave it to us straight. She said her love life, sex life, and private life had sunk to new lows and blamed it all her husband, Logan Mann. REJECT She said Leezus Price had a vagina! And we know who’s fault this REALLY is. Storm Bellmare. Storm, you there, young man? We go into a split screen with… STORM BELLMARE sitting in his condo in Berkley, California. REJECT You wanna tell us what the hell you’re doing? STORM I guess you’re talking about me and Holly, huh. REJECT You know I am. Back in my day you’d be picking your teeth up off the floor. STORM Ain’t nothing stopping you from coming to Berkley and taking me back in time. RENEE Okay, okay, guys. Storm, are you having an affiar with Holly? REJECT And just be honest. STORM We’ve all been through rough relationships, toxic boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever. Maybe WE were the toxic one RENEE One of us is on this Sofa! STORM It isn’t my place to tell you what’s wrong with Logan. But, I’ve heard things. And if Holly’s family, like her bro Northstar, had honor, and pride…. RENEE How did you and Holly fist come into contact. It seems like such a random pairing. STORM Holly came to me, actually sought me out at Hottiemania. Andd, well, Holly doesn’t cry so it wasn’t a shoulder to cry on. But she did need an ear to vent to. And we just kind of hit it off really good. That’s al;ll. REJECT You didn’t answer the question. Are you having an affair with Holly? STORM I don’t owe you anything, Reject. This is Holly’s story to tell. And bottom line is in that story, the Logan Mann chapter is over. RENEE Are we on the Storm Bellmare chapter? How does it end? Does it end? STORM I'm only thinkin' about the future now! That's what I told Holly we’re gonna do—build the future! The people who brought us down, and drained our energy, they’re in the past with Reject’s days. Being free, having the world in front of us, that’s where Holly and I are at, man. REJECT So you think Logan is just gonna let you swoop in and take his WIFE without a fight? STORM If he’s smart he will. But Logan doesn’t seem that bright so it might be time for Seasons Beatings. COMING UP NEXT...REX IN ACTION...NEXT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 20, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2023 Cue:: Machinehead by Bush LILLIAN The following contest is schedule for one fall,now making his way to the ring, from Baltimore, Maryland, his “THE MONSTER” REEEEEEXXXXXXX!!!!!! via GIPHY REJECT What do you think, Renee? You think Bounty Hunter been setting up TurboWolf to get jumped by ReX? RENEE You’re asking my opinion? You never ask my opinion! This is a great Christmas gift. Thank you! REJECT Forget I asked. Sheesh! LILLIAN And his opponent he is JOB BURRRRRR! Jobette’s husband is in the middle of a prayer, which makes one wonder how he and Jobette even got together! DING DING DING Job Burr handed ReX a pamphlet for the CHURCH OF LATER DAY SAINTS. REX ReX had no intrest in a conversion, charging at the jobber with a ruthless clothesline that sends him crashing to the mat. The fans hiss and jeer as ReX continues his assault. REJECT Damn, ReX couldn’t even humor Burr on Christ’s brithday. ReX lifted Burr effortlessly into a military press position, showcasing his (roid enhanced) strength to the disdaindful crowd. The audience reacts with a mix of amazement and horror. REJECT It’s not the size of the biceps that matter it’s what you do with them, and ReX does damage with them. ReX slammed Burr to the mat with a thunderous powerbomb, and the crowd winced at the impact. A few front row fans inch away lest they become the target of ReX’s might. RENEE It’s a rare occasion for the Deviants to show some pity. But it looks like some feel bad for Job Burr. REJECT If they feel that bad they can bring some food to his church’s Christmas pot luck. ReX doesn't let up, pulling the jobber up and signaling for his finisher—the Syringer! RENEE ReX is gonna end things here! REJECT Nevermind the pot luck. Bring food for Burr’s repase! ReX executed the Syringer, the pop-up powerbomb shaking the ring! REX I’M A MONSTER!!! The cover… ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! DING DING DING WINNER: Rex, via pinfall Post-match, ReX got on DA STICK! REX I know you’re expecting TurboWolf to run in and kick my ass. But when I had him on the ground tonight, I looked into his eyes and I saw PURE FEAR!!! RENEE That’s not true! REJECT You’re gonna argue with a doctor? RENEE That doesn’t mean he can lie when he wants. REX When I had TurboWolf in my clutches, he squirmed to get free, he squirmed for his LIFE! Then he started to whimper and beg, “NO! NO! NO!” RENEE Does he have TurboWolf confused with the Bounty Hunter? REX But in TMW no really means YES! So I drove his head into the ground and I felt his body go limp and his spine compressed, and it FELT GOOD!!! Inflicting pain turns me on! RENEE And that’s not what you want a doctor to say. REX And now TurboWolf thinks he’s going to get revenge at Anglemania 21? Don’t you get it? There’s no one who can beat me!! THERE’S NO ONE WHO CAN STOP ME!! “BBBBBBBOOOOOO!” REX Because there is nothing I won’t do to anybody, there is no line I will not cross, there is no amount of suffering I won’t inflict, there is nothing to won’t do for you to FEEL PAIN! TurboWolf, Anglemania 21 will be the end for you! But your PAIN has just begun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 20, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2023 Backstage in the trainer’s…uh room…what do they call that part? Office? Dunno! Anyway Tanner Neptune is getting his wrist taped up when THE UNION JETS enter the room. TANNER Sup, dudes? C-4 Didn’t mean to interrupt what you had going on with The Big Tymers and those rich kids. SMITH But something had to be done. And we’re the blokes who get things done make teams done. TANNER No problem. Hey, happy for the help, since my friends have all sort of ditched me. C-4 What we want to know is are you game for us against Bedrock, Conan and Money Marc in the mainevent of tonight’s show? SMITH They haven’t faced three superior athletes like us in their lifetimes. Now they need to get ready to feel the wrath of the Galaxy Champion, and tag team living legends! TANNER I can smoke to that, bros! TONIGHT’S MAINEVENT…THE UNION JETS & TANNER NEPTUNE VS MONEY MARC BENETT, CONAN “COCO” CHANEL, and BEDROCK!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 25, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 25, 2023 A short video summary of the feud between TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS IGNATIUS MADDIX and WESLEY SINGLETON and former champs SGT.LYLE HOLT and PRIVATE WARTHOG is shown. We see: -The initial offense at AM 20 when The Insiders called a crying Holt, a vanilla midget after he lost the Always Pimpin Title -Holt’s obsessed fan, Kelly Applegate making it past security at AM 20 and causing The Insiders to lose their match against Jose and Pike. -The TMW episode where The Insiders blamed Holt, despite him proclaiming he wants nothing to do with Kelly. -The TMW episode where Kelly’s mishap cost Holt and Hog their title defense against The Insiders. -And finally The TMW episode where Kelly issued a challenge for AM 21 to The Insiders. “Put up your belts against Sgt.Holt and Private Warthog” That leads us to… Cue: 'The Contagion" Mayday, mayday, mayday An unidentified virus strain is rapidly spreading We are the chosen few The enlightened ones and we walk amongst you (this is, this is) It's DNA, it's the way we're made REJECT I’ve been waiting to hear from Sarge all night. RENEE You and a lot of people. Something tells me he’s not in the holiday spirit. Renee’s comment is proven correct as Holt enters in a green and white jumpsuit with a frown so stark it’s almost comical! Warthog stiffly strides behind him, clad in fatigue pants and a grey tank top. The former champs enter the ring after Warthog holds the ropes open for his commander. SGT.HOLT Why don’t you grant me my Christmas wish and shut up for a second?! “BBBBOOOOOOO!” SGT.HOLT The time has come when all of America can now see what I’ve seen since I came back from the war: I fought for nothing. But now you can’t make your criminal wages off my back, can’t insult, slander, and abuse each other on the graves of my dead comrades, can’t threaten, cheer for, or dismiss the end of lives that you deem problematic. Because now, if you’re not dumb as rocks, you can see the end of this shit hole brought to you by Artificial intelligence. RENEE That wasn’t what I was expecting him to talk about. SGT.HOLT But I’m feeling reinvigorated. Because I'm no longer an invalid, am I? I don’t have to watch you people take a torch to the freedom and prosperity I fought and killed to protect. Your freedom and prosperity, that is. I now can watch the torch being taken to ALL OF YOU! “ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!” SGT.HOLT No longer will I be a cripple, not someone trotted out for a PR moment at the start of Dodgers’ games. The time has come for a little retribution, a little bit of the good stuff Nero must have drank when he saw his empire burn. RENEE This guy is seriously twisted. SGT.HOLT The only thing that saddens me is that I have to continue to perform for America’s burning corpse. But, I’m happy to take America’s money. Instead of taking candy from a baby, it’s more like taking candy from a baby that should have been aborted! “ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!” SGT.HOLT There are two people who can show the world what America is all about. That’s right, I’m talking about Wesley Singleton and Ignatius Maddix. “ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!” SGT.HOLT The failures in this country, and there are many, will hop on Twitter on their iPhone 15 they skipped a rent payment to afford and compalin about “nepo babies.” Then turn around and skip feeding their kids 3 square meals a day so they can buy the t-shirt and joggers of Wesley a Singleton, and Ignatius a Maddix. I’d call it hypocrisy but I think the majority of you are too stupid to realize what hypocrisy means! “ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!” SGT.HOLT Wesley and Ignatius embody the whole “Boss, Level Up, Do the Work” culture that has poisoned this country. What is the legacy of their leadership? Pike Pantera is worried about impregnating a Spanish whore, Fabian is about to be the next guy buried by the Duncan machine, I don’t need to go on! Welsey and Ignatius have no ethics, no morals, no values except when it’s convenient to whatever narrative they’re trying to spin. Just like the rest of this shit hole! RENEE Holt woke up chose violence. SGT.HOLT Because of this country’s bottom tier educational system that sees schools for the gifted closed to appease the parents of idiots, most of you, if you can muster a coherent thought, must think the same way: Ignatius and Wesley accepted the challenge for a tag team title rematch at anglemania 21. REJECT That will be the show where we determine once and for all who’s way works best, Holt’s classic American way or The Insiders’ new American way. SGT.HOLT But, because of your awful comprehension skills you failed to realize the challenge was issued by a Kelly Applegate. RENEE She’s Holt’s number one fan. SGT.HOLT I am not Kelly Applegate, I am not affiliated with Kelly Applegate, and I DO NOT take orders from Kelly Applegate. You people think because someone has a microphone and is in front of a camera their word must be law, which is how you got swindled into voting for these scam artists, two face parade of presidents that helped tank this country. If any of you think Warthog and I will fight on terms dictated by Wesley Singleton, Ignatius Maddix and a stalker I’ve never met- “PELASE WAIT!!” Yes indeed that shrill voice is cast by one KELLY APPLEGATE! Holt’s number one fan, and one of his only fans, rushes to the ring looking quite different than what we’re used to. She is attired in a classic red, white and blue, “DUTY CALLS” Holt t-shirt from 2018 and a tight pair of green and yellow leggings KELLY Please wait, sir! Please! PRIVATE WARTHOG You weren’t invited into this ring, lady. I suggest you leave. Now! KELLY Please, give me a chance! PT.WARTHOG You were told vacate the premises. Defiance is met with punishment. Ristance is futile. KELLY Please just hear me out! Sir, sir, you’re more than I’ve ever needed in my life. I shaved my head for you, Seargent. I broke up with my fiancé for you, I gave up custody to my kids for you, Sergeant!!! I put my mom in assisted living so I could devote myself full-time to you. SGT.HOLT So what? Do you think ditching your obligations, betraying your own mother, and dumping your kids on the state is supposed to impress me? All you’ve done is guarantee another group of poorly educated, unloved, and unprepared retards that AI will annihilate. RENEE This is kind of sad. REJECT Eh, it’s kind of funny in a way. Warthog moves to remove Kelly from the ring physically, but with tears in her eyes she drops to her knees in front of the pair. KELLY I know you don’t like me or respect me. I understand that. I do. But you’re all I have. You’re all AMERICA has. I know what kind of country you see this as. And I know what kind of person you see me as. But you’re the only hope for America…and for me. REJECT Yeah, funny, hahahha! RENEE Jerk! SGT.HOLT What’s that phrase Storm, Marty and the young guys use, Private? She’s what? PT.WARTHOG Clout Chasing, sir. SGT.HOLT That’s it. Clout chasing. KELLY No, no, that’s not what I’m doing. I swear. SGT.HOLT Kelly Applegate, you are a clout chaser. KELLY Sir, I deleted all my social media two weeks ago. SGT.HOLT And you want me to think you can’t just create a new account? I went to GOOD schools, Kelly. KELLY Please. Let me prove my loyalty to you. My worth! SGT.HOLT Your loyalty? Your worth? I don’t want your loyalty, and you have no more worth than any of these American whores. Warthog’s eyes widened, and sweat appeared on his brow. Not unnoticed by Sarge. SGT.HOLT I doubt you’ll ever measure up to when American women were women of class, dignity, pide and honor. You’re a wild beast like any other. But maybe I can use a wild beast. It looks like Private Warthog can. Private, I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking… PT.WARTHOG Sir? KELLY Sarge? SGT.HOLT Kelly if you wish to rise from your knees and become Cadet Applegate, you must be baptized. Not in fire. But in… RENEE No! Don’t do this! KELLY (glaring at Warthog’s crotch) I’ll do whatever. And whoever! “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans cheer Kelly shows some of that fire that led her to attack Ignatius and Wes and hauls down Warthog’s faituges! The big man’s big black hog springs forth, 7.5 inches of fat, ebony sexual power. “YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The pervs sung. Kelly wastes no time in taking the Hog’s hog into her mouth. Her nose nuzzles Warthog's dark chocolate balls as she swallows half of that big piece of ebony man meat. And her tongue goes to work while her ex-fiance lays on the floor in tears somewhere. RENEE Holt is exploiting this poor woman. REJECT That’s why I like the guy. That thick, fat negro ding dong shines with saliva. The fans approve with hoots, hollers and stiffened cocks Kelly may be nuts but she truly a talented black cock slut Kelly sucked Warthog's dick with a hunger that came from the deep down in her soul. Maybe the hunger was truly for Holt’s pink sausage. But whatever it was for it saw Kelly bobbing her head back and forth, letting Hog’s overcooked pork slide in and out of her mouth. Witnessing the debut of a premier cocksucker, some Deviants snapped pictures of a the start of Kelly’s journey into depravity. Occasionally the much more giant Warthog thrust his mammoth hips, plunging his dick down Kelly's throat. This met with Holt’s approval as he nodded while rubbing his chin. The Deviants? These dirty assholes rubbed something different! Holt was no fool. He knew the Deviants in the audience were jerking off as Kelly sucked Warthog's big, black dick. In fact, Holt knew they were wishing they could take their turns with the submissive whore. Yes, truly a country burning, public sex, public masturbation. Oh well. He merely watched, nodding as Kelly’s tongue crisscrossed Warthog’s now shining, wet monkey meat. Kelly swallowed that big, black cock until it reached the back of her throat. Then she choked, gagged, and coughed up a bit of spittle onto that black dick. But she never stopped sucking. That big, black cock was just so powerful, so commanding. Holt watched with satisfaction as Warthog's balls tightened. Those two, round, black spheres could barely stop from filling with sperm for Kelly's submissive mouth. The big nigger grabbed her by the hair and slammed that white whore face down onto his cock. He struggled to keep his sperm from filling her mouth, flooding it No! He needed save his load until Sarge told him he could cum All around the Toy Box the Deviants watched with rapt arousal, dicks in hand, Fluffers ready to service the more randy of perverts. Sarge didn't have to tell Warthog what to do. The big brute grabbed Kelly's body and turned her over, her pussy lips parting and revealing a sweet, pink cunt. Her inner lips were wet, ready for Warthog to unleash his wrath African wrath upon this sad little white bitch Holt knew that Kelly was truly submissive. He had seen that hunger in her eyes, the lust. But now that hunger was being sated by that smooth negro flesh lfute./ That dick had such power over a woman. The power to make her scream, cry, and moan. As Warthog slammed his weapon of white girl destruction into Kelly, Holt thought back to the glory days of the US. The days when American women were real women, not just whores who spread their legs for any schlong for a few bucks.. But now America was a nation of shameful, disgraceful sluts. Sluts like Kelly. Holt's dark heart hardened even further as he saw the dark meat injection inside Kelly’s wet, pink pussy. That was what was wrong with America. The lack of standards for American women. Holt knew that Kelly was indeed a worthless cunt. And she would do anything to be in the Army. Her body shook with each thrust, her tits bouncing up and down. She was so wet that her juices coated Warthog's super fat nigga log as it pumped in and out of her like a piston. But not a Piston that lost 25 games in a row! Her pussy walls clung to that battering ram thick log as it pushed in and out of her. Think of her poor ex-fiance. One day he has a gorgeous woman wearing an engagement ring, the nex dat that gorgeous woman being fucked by some giant muscle bound Nubian monster named Warthog! Well, his loss is the Deviants' gain. Many of them have already spilled their jizz from furious masturbating! But those who smartly practice edging can continue to stroke them weiners all they want. As Warthog fucked her, he was not gentle. No, he was rough. He slammed his hunk of dark flesh in and out of Kelly with wild abandon. He wanted to make sure that whore understood the power of negro cock. He wanted to make sure she KENW who was in charge Her ass bounced like a basketball as she let the black bull pound her. She was screaming, moaning. Warthog was making her see stars, her entire body trembling in pure ecstasy. Even if Holt doesn’t want her, surely Toni Patrica will have her in SHAVED HEAD, SHAVED CUNTS 2024 Holt yelled, “Showed this whore no mercy! Make her scream for mercy! Make her know our power!!! Oh, Kelly was getting fucked. Hard. Her pussy walls clung to that one-eyed monster like a vise. She could feel that BBC throbbing and pulsing inside her. It was time, time for her destroyed white twat to take a heaping geyser of sperm. “Now,” Holt ordered sharply. Then he exploded. He shot his seed, his white hot jizz, into Kelly's waiting pussy. It was like a flood, a deluge of jizz that flooded her. Warthog grunted and growled, his balls contracting as his cock spurted into her. The fans were in awe as Warthog kept coming. It was like a river of sperm, a fountain of jizz. They were so hot and bothered that they spilled their loads. A sea of jizz spread across the arena floor. HOLT Stand up, Kelly. Kelly was weak, as any woman would be after a colored powerhouse defiled her with a blitzkrieg of a fucking. And yet she stood. HOLT You have proven yourself. You will be an asset, Cadet Kelly. The smile on Kelly’s face seemed as wide as the entire city of Los Angeles and as bright as any light in Hollywood Cue: "DND" by Polo G Once we start a riot we can't keep quiet (quiet) We want all the smoke, fuck the peace signs (signs) All gas, no brakes, we just gon' keep slidin' (slidin'), ayy Glock cook a nigga, he get deep-fried Snakes in the grass, watch out for rats and all the feline I cut everybody off, keep hittin' decline I swear these painkillers got me on the deep vibe Miss the old days, got me wishin' I could rewind RENEE Uh-oh! There they are, the source of all this drama, the tag team champions, WESLEY SINGLETON AND IGNATIUS MADDIX the tag team champs stroll onto the entrance stage. WES I guess I don’t gotta ask where the hoes at tonight, Toy Box! We see one in the ring. Oh and Warthog and the crazy chick are with him too. REJECT He just called Sarge a….a…I can’t even say it! IGNATIUS Not too bad, little drummer boy. You hid the fact that your toy soldier doesn’t rise to the occasion behind acting like you're too good to bang Kellz. I don’t know which one of our “shit hole public school” you went to to come up with a solution like that, pal. But, good job. Masterclass scheming. That takes years of practice, hiding a rifle that don’t fire. “YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!” WESLEY Hey, bear with me, boys. Toy Box? Is there anyone who’s gonna watch Anglemania 21? “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAA!” WESLEY And is there anyone that’s gonna watch the show who wants to hear Sarge-O piss and moan like a Karen leaving a one-star review for my mom’s Wal-Mart? “NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” WESLEY Or do you wanna see the good guys whop this 4’11 160 power-bottom’s ass and put a little hurting on genital Warthog? “YYYYEAAAAAAAAA!” REJECT Genital Warthog?! Fuck that, Warthog needs to stab Wes like Sid on Arn. IGNATIUS Warthog’s balls are in your court, pal. Holt paces around, growling, his lackeys too nervous to say anything. SGT.HOLT Fine! You talk about bears? Bears? At Anglmania 21 it won’t be bears, it won’t be bald red, white and blue eagles. It will be two vultures feasting on you and feasting on the carcass of America. Wes and Ignatius smile and dap each other up. This is a far cry from Holt’s scowl and trembling fist. RENEE There we have it, guys. A tag team title rematch, Sarge and Private Warthog with Cadet Kelly try to take the belts back from Wesley Singleton and Ignatius Maddix! Tony149 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 28, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2023 Backstage in front of guerellia position, we find BALROG NUTT cracking his knuckles and rolling his sun glasses shaded head. He’s shortly approached by his tag team partner, JULIUS SAKS NUTT Didn’t think you was coming, cuz. NUKKS The fuck? This the Anderson Cup, dawg. You know where I be at! NUTT Nah, cuz, I don’t. SAKS Watchu mean? NUTT I been in this Box all damn day watching tape on Lawson Belle and Painbow. You been in the Box (Nutt looks at his Timex watch) Thirty five seconds. SAKS You know to hit some of that sticky icky, partna. It hits different in Cali then Jersey. NUTT We ain’t won a match in THREE MONTHS but you wanna be smoking skunk weed? On Anderson Cup night? You can’t put down the Dro for one second? “THIS TRULY IS A SAD SIGHT, AIN’T IT?” That voice comes from sauntering WAKEFIELD, clad in cowboy hat, long brown trench coat and super tight package displaying jeans. At his side is the fat HORSE, who wears an orange wife beater and baggy grey sweats. But still has the nerve to preen in a HANDHELD MIRROR. WAKEFIELD Nutt Saks, Nutt Saks, we’re fixin to brightn yer day. NUTT Is you? Is you really gonna “brighten our day?” HORSE Look around, don’t you see something wrong round these here parts? Since The Nutt Saks have no clue what Same Ol Shits are talking about Horse elaborates. HORSE Why are us’n all alone? We’re the beautiful people, but we been held down. WAKEFIELD Held by Lisa Ann, that is. She can’t appreciate classically handsome son of a gus like us four. This still make no sense to the Nutt Saks bu Saks finds it amausing, Not so for Balrog. HORSE Now lookie here, we should have a whole stable full of Hotties in front of our dressing room door, because we use them dressing rooms not stnkin locker rooms. And they should be lining up to make sweet love with the four of us handsome, sexual, erotic BEASTS! WAKEFIELD Men, me and Horse right here, we’re what them fancy people here in Californ-i-a call pickup artists. HORSE If you follow our lead, act as our wingman and such, we’ll all be beating them females off with chicken leg! WAKEFILES Just to much Hotties for us to handle! SAK Shiiiiit, ya’ll did brighten my day. You white boys is funny as shit. NUTT (walking off) You the only one laughin, cuz. COMING UP NEXT.... GPX BRACKET Southern Smoke -Vs- Big Hairy Nutt Saks NEXT!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 29, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2023 Cue:: Pump It Up by Joe Budden Pump-p-p-pump-pump-p-p-p-pump Pump-p-p-pump-pump it up Pump-p-p-pump-pump-p-pump-p-pump Pump-p-p-pump-pump it up (Just Blaze) Pump-p-p-pump-pump it up LILLIAN The following is the final Anderson Cup first round match! This contest is in the GPX Bracket! Now making their way to the ring, from NEW JERSEY, they are JULIUS SAKKS, BALROG NUTT…THE BIG HAIRY NUTT SAKKKSSSSSS! “YYYYYEAAAAA!” RENEE If The Big Hairy Nutt Sakls can win this contest then we’ll see them against BLK in the GPX bracket Confrence Finals. REJECT Win? They haven’t won a match in three months.Both these guys are on two different times. Cue:: Who I Smoke By Yungen Ace ft.Vaessa Carlton And I need you (Hey, Drilltime) And I miss you And now I wonder If I could fall into the sky Do you think time would pass me by? 'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you (Drilltime, what you cookin'?) Tonight LILLIAN And their oppoents! “THE L -TRAIN” LAWSON BELLE,”THE PAIN TRAIN” PAINBOW…..SOUTTTTHHERRRNNN SMOOOKKKKEEEE!” “BBBBOOOOOOOOO!” REJECT This my pick to win this whole thing. They have anything you’d want in a tag team, toughnes, speed, agility, power, ring IQ, anything, Renee. Anything. RENEE The match makers sure didn’t do The Nutt Sakks any favor with this one. DING DING DING RENEE Our final Anderson Cup first-round match is here, guys! D’Lo Brown to referee and Lawson Belle and Balrog Nutt to start. Lawson looked like a killer as he rushed Nutt to the gut with a flurry of furious leg kicks and knees. Balrog was withered but not defeated. REJECT I think ‘Rog’s shitty diet is saving him. RENEE Then maybe Terry won’t fine him for coming in over his target weight. Nutt fought back as best he could, using offense straight out the streets of Jersey. For a moment it looked like Nutt could stand on equal footing with Belle: until Lawson knocked him loopy with a jumping spin kick! “OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE Some Slay Belle this Christmas season! Cover….. ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! REJECT He kicked out at the last minute because he’s a Jersey boy. If he was from New York, specifically the Bronx, he never would’ve been on the mat in the first place. Lawson tags in Painbow who earns a heaping of boos from those too far away from his assault. The ones in the front row watch politely as Lawson and Painbow dump Nutt to the mat with the stiffest of double lariats! RENEE The L-Train and the Pain Train combine! REJECT Shit, I’d rather get hit by a literal train than by those two. Another cover… ONE! TWO! The kickout! Painbow brought the fight right out of the rural Georgia streets. The former Blood member eventually sent his foe into the corner where he blitzed Nutt with a brutal barrage of punches to the dome. Worse yet, it left Nutt with a massive cut above his eye. REJECT This 100 percent a bad look for The Big Hairy Nutt Saks. Their opponents smels blood, quite literally. They see the injury, and they will pounce like sharks in a feeding frenzy. RENEE I’d say Southern Smoke are the last team you want such an apparent weakness to show them. Indeed! Lawson got the tag and proceeded to rake Nutt’s cut along the ropes, leaving the cables dripping with his blood. NUTT AHHHH! LAWSON Shut up, pussy boy. Lawson brought Nutt down with a fisherman’s suplex, hooked into a bridge…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! REJECT I don’t know what Sakks is doing on that apron. What kind of tag team partner just watches as his buddy is getting a crimson mask? This isn't a spectator sport; it's a fight, and your partner is in trouble. RENEE So far Sakks hasn’t made any move to help Nutt. REJECT If you're not willing to jump in and help, you might as well sit in the crowd with the rest of these unemployed bums who don't know the first thing about real tag team strategy. The fearsome heels knew about tag team strategey, as quick tags kept both men fresh. Nutt quickly found himself on the wrong end of Painbow’s pointed elbow to that rapidly expanding cut. Snarling at the fatty, the former Knick’s draft pick began lifting him for an inverted bodyslam. Yet, Nutt threw a desperate elbow to ward off his foe. Nutt wasted no time in going on the offense, hitting Painbow with a harder than expected uppercut! SAKKS Tag me in, b! Tag me in! RENEE I guess Sakks is fine coming in now that Painbow is flat on the ground. REJECT Where's the loyalty? Where's the sense of camaraderie? I’m not surprised to find Jersey boys missing both attributes. It’s why The Nets will never win a title. They have the taint of New Jersey in their DNA. Sakks got into the match by slapping a dazed and ailing Nutt. The blubbery brawler from Hackensack, NJ lumbered into the ring for glory and well, glory alone. Alas all he found was Painbow’s boot to his midsection. Sakks fought back with a pair of right hands. But when he went for a right cross Painbow snuck behind him and cinched in a full nelson! RENEE I just can’t believe someone got their full arms around Julius’ big chunky ones. Painbw hoisted Sakks into the air and brought him down with full nelson slam! Cover… ONE! TWO! Nutt broke up the pinfall! RENEE Wow. Julius Sakks might have gone the full count, but luckily, Nutt could makle the save. REJECT I don’t think the same would have happened if the Timberlands were on the other foot. Jersey makes me sick. Ref D’Lo ushered Nutt out the ring while checking is gushing wound. This left the hungry hounds of Southern Smoke to devour Sakks. The gruesome pair shot Sakks into the ropes, and when he lumbered back the duo threw him to the canvas with one of the most violent Sky Highs we’ve seen yet! RENEE A little tribute to D’LO! Lawson climbs to the second rope as Sakks lays prone and weakened. The crowd jeered Lawson after he flipped them off and then watched him sail at his foe with a senton splash! Yet, despite massive girth, Sakks could roll out of the way! RENEE It’s rare to see Lawson use that move, and it’s unthinkable that Sakks managed to avoid it. REJECT These Nutt Sakks are deceptively quick. They can’t sustain the speed but they can employ it in bursts. Sakks found no joy or energy from his avoidance and instead used his situation to lodge complaints at Nutt.. SAKKS Yo, man, I thought we was the squad! Why ain’t you helping me?! NUTT RENEE I like both guys but I am so with Julius on this. SAKKS Man, we ain’t homies no more? Because you got a cut? BecAAAHHHHHHH! That scream of agony is all due to Lawson latching onto Sakks with a heel hook! RENEE Oh no! Oh no! REJECT As usual, Sakks took his eye off the prize. How the mighty have fallen. Sakks reached his hand in the air, not to tap out but to beseech Nutt for urgent help! Instead Nutt merely shook his head, his bloodied sad face a pitiful sight. This left Sakks with no other choice but to tap out! WINNER: Southern Smoke, via submission RENEE It might have been a long shot for these guys from NJ to defeat the southern boys. But, I don’t think any of us expected it to be this easy for the L-Train and the Pain Train. REJECT That’s because we expected former tag team champions to have some idea of what they’re doing. Get in there, break it up, make the save! If you're not going to be a team player, then maybe you should find yourself a new line of work. A graphic flashes on the screen displaying our conference final matches: BLACK T BRACKET CONFRENCE FINALS THE UNION JETS -Vs- SOUTHERN SMOKE GPX BRACKET CONFRENCE FINALS BLK -Vs- MONEY MARC AND CONAN “COCO” CHANEL COMING UP NEXT...ANNIE IDOL GETS THE SCOOPS WITH CASSIDY MAGUIRE AND THE INTRUDER....NEXT!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 2 Author Report Share Posted January 2 A video plays of last TMW where Colin Maguire Jr came to confront Cassidy Maguire and her lover, The Intruder in the ring. Even in brevity we see how electrified the crowd was as Colin delivered insult insult to The Intruder. After the package ends we come to OAOAST studios to see a set with playful mix of colors, engaging patterns, and comfy yellow chairs. Sat beside are CASSIDY MAGUIRE THE INTRUDER In front of them is.... ANNIE IDOL ANNIE Hello! Yes! Welcome to Annie…Annie…I don’t have a name for this segment. CASSIDY ANNIE Name or not I am here with Cassidy Maguire and The Intruder. And with these two being willing to talk about Colin Maguire’s return last week, I know the Galaxy is HERE for it! THE INTRUDER I would have thought we’d have a limit on family squabbles. Seems that 8 or 9 should be enough. ANNIE Nothing beats the number ten! And, Deviants, be sure to give the clips of this interview on the website a solid ten. It helps with engagement and employment. My employment! CASSIDY Don’t you have legitimate questions, lot lizard?! ANNIE I bet Gayle King never gets called a lot lizard. What is a lot lizard? We can answer that another day. Cassidy, Intruder, your relationship has led you to defeat the conscience of TMW, Tristan Nystrom. THE INTRUDER Not just defeat, love. Burn alive. Let’s not rob us of our credit. ANNIE But, Colin, a four time OAOAST World Champion was not impressed, not happy you two beautiful people make such a 2 CUTE couple, and he said as much last show. “**COLIN My sister, in league with a reality show contestant. It boggles the mind. Perhaps someone should have warned The Intruder of the fate of those who come up short to my measuring stick.**” ANNIE Intruder, what goes through your head when you hear those words “come up short to my measuring stick”? How do you respond to Colin? THE INTRUDER A few dick jokes come to mind, but I can leave those to Wes and Ignatius. I’m aware of my reputation and it’s well deserved. Colin is free to join the queue of brothers who would prefer anyone, someone but me, to date their sister. ANNIE Do you measure up to Colin? THE INTRUDER When I listen to Colin now I hear no hint of care, no hint of humanity. There’s just coldness…and sadness. Colin, can put up his yardstick. CASSIDY When people do you a kindness, you should always express your gratitude, Annie. ANNIE You’re right! I saw this cute stuffed emotional support pickle on etsy. And I am happy to buy one. For the both of you! CASSIDY Did you dunk your head in water from Flint before you got here? I’m talking about Colin! Colin! ANNIE It doesn’t sound like he’s being very nice or kind. CASSIDY Obviously, Captain Tard. But when the OAOAST switched rosters and he retired he did something amazingly nice to me. He left me alone! ANNIE Not one word, not one letter, not one text? CASSIDY I’m a witch. A way more powerful one than that Ruby, and don’t even bring in the poster child for fetal alcohol syndrome, Zelda Bazil. But people like to think of me as Colin’s sister, first and foremost. ANNIE I think the fans like seeing lineage and prestige in the OAOAST. CASSIDY FYI, dingus, Colin and I didn’t grow up together because our mother has terrible taste in men and my father, Colin Sr, made her sacrifice me, a literal blood sacrifice so that he could have his bouncing, strong, strapping heir. Our Aunt Reagan kept me from dying, not mom, not dad, and not the younger brother I deserved to die to have! ANNIE This is going great! Um, *ahem*, pardon me. Intruder, Colin said you have “minute worth.” I always get those kinds of insults from Kathy Karen Kelly and Billie Child. Like all the time! But, never on TMW television has anyone said something so harsh about you. How do you feel your peers will look at you now? THE INTRUDER They don’t need much of an excuse to dislike me, Annie, they’ve disliked me since they met me. “Not a real wrestler. A reality show phony. Doesn’t belong in our locker room.” But if you remember, they said such things about Colin. Even Cassidy looks confused at Intruder’s line of thought. THE INTRUDER “Colin is not a star, not like Spencer. Colin is the weak link in The Enterprise. Spencer and Lorelei are the LDC Moneygang, anyone could play Colin’s role.” Colin is who he is, and that’s a lot like me. A talker... Not sleight of hand but sleight of words.. All just to distract from this-this feeling that I have... I've always been different. ANNIE I’m gonna get such a great evaluation from Toni! Umm, please continue, Intruder. THE INTRUDER A chance to look in a spotless mirror and see the unvarnished yet somehow tarnished reflection of my self and his flawless sister? Two gifts from Colin, rather generous of you ask me. ANNIE Cassidy, you know your younger brother better than any of us. Is this something that can be mediated? CASSIDY Mediated? Why should I have to mediate anything? ANNIE Well, I’m sure your brother just cares about you and wants the best. CASSIDY Okay, you’re an idiot, so I’ll overlook that suggestion. Colin will do anything to prevent me from being happy. I don’t need your thrift store Oprah act right now. ANNIE I always thought of myself more like Whoopi Goldeberg on the View. Not Star Trek, Whoopi. CASSIDY I never asked for Colin’s “concern.” I never asked for Colin period! ANNIE Well, how bad is it gonna be if he doesn’t leave you alone? CASSIDY On a scale from horrific to apocalyptic? A 70 THE INTRUDER I’ll take the last word on this. I don’t need to tell you how fabulous Cassidy looks, acts, and is. A devious little trap that god laid out for me to attach a murderous, hateful brother to her. But, we, Cassidy and I are, wicked little things. Dangerous little things. Might be a vampire dies at a second Anglemania. ANNIE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 3 Author Report Share Posted January 3 We find TERRY TAYLOR, President of Talent Relations, pacing in the parking garage with sweat seeping all the way through his white polo. Is it a hot day in LA? Did Terry finally realize it’s not a good idea to make the Fluffers blow him before he signs them? Well he’s on his cellphone which is a Blackberry from 2011, so let’s find out… TAYLOR Where are YOU? The show is almost over, brother. We had you coming in at 1:00 PM, brother. I can't keep covering your ass. Lisa Ann is asking about you. (person on the other end says something) Vermont?! What the fuck are you doing back in Vermont? (Person on other end says something) Emotional Chakra Centering Retreat? (Person on other end says something) You threw a drink in a waitresses face and slapped her? Where back in ARRIBA? In Mexico? Who cares- (Person on other end says something) This was in Torrance. So here? Brother, what are you thinking???! (Person on other end says something) She misgendered you?! (Person on other end says something) Brother, I went to bat for you. I was the only one on your side in the meeting with Lisa Ann Colombian Heart said not to bring you back from ARRIBA, Biff Atlas said not to bring you back from ARRIBA, Slime said it, brother. SLIME! You’re really fucking me CLICK TAYLOR Hello, hello, K-Rawk? K-RAWK?!! K-RAAAAWWWWKK?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 3 Author Report Share Posted January 3 Ahead of our mainevent we find BEDROCK, his ally MISTER STEAL YO PUSH, and CONAN “COCO” CHANEL” and MONEY MARC BENNETT in front of a TMW cloth backdrop. MISTER YO STEAL PUSH Big egos, big money and big muscles? Will it work tonight? With my BIG BRAINS it will. Union Jets, are trying to tell us we’ve never seen athletes the likes of them? JETS, you’e never seen athletes THE LIKES OF US! BEDROCK BLLLARGGH! COCO I knew Tanner Neptune would make a poor Galaxy Champion, he is some sort of disgusting, hippie like abnormality. God must have really hated me to put him in my path. But what always brings a smile to my face is crushing those far inferior to myself and comrades. MONEY MARC Tanner, man, you can’t say I didn’t try to help ya when we were a team.I really feel you horribly, horribly, misunderstood the situation. If you’ll just listen to me you’ll understand that dumping you on Teen Scream’s door step was the right thing to do. You were my best friend, but I knew you were a rockbrain because you put bitches and hugs before dollars and cents. Coco and I, we’ve got a lot more than wrestling going on. We’re on Fox News, we’ve got a finance podcast, we write columns for the Wall Street Journal because we put dollars and sense front and center. We have a portfolio, you have DMs left on read. COCO Our opponents should dial their ego back a bit. The kind of challenge low class plebs like them could pose is absolutely no threat. They will learn that everyone has a price. Ours? MONEY MARC Priceless. BEDROCK BLARGGGH!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Money Marc and Conan "Coco" Chanel entered to HYpnotize by Biggie... Uh (uh), uh (uh), uh (c'mon) Ha, sicker than your average Poppa twist cabbage off instinct Niggas don't think shit stink Pink gators, my Detroit players Timbs for my hooligans in Brooklyn (that's right) LILLIAN The following is a six man contest in OUR mainevent! Now making their way to the ring, they are CONAN “COCO” CHANEL, and “MONEY” MAAARCCCC BENNNNNETTTTT!!!!!!!!!! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” REJECT Gotta give Marc and Coco credit. They sent Sammi packing. Doll couldn’t do that, Lady XFL couldn’t do that, Melissa Nerdly couldn’t. RENEE You’re giving them credit for attacking a woman?! REJECT I’m trying to be more uplifiting in the New Year. Bedrock entered to "Still Fly" by The Big Tymers... Whassup Fresh? It's our turn, baby!!!!! LILLIAN And their partner, he is being accompanied by MISTER STEAL YO PUSH, he hails from the Stone Age…he is…BEDDDROOOCCKKKKKKKKK! “BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” REJECT What I wouldn’t have given to have a guy like Bedrock in the Deadly Alliance. RENEE You would have made him a champion? REJECT Him? Champion? No I’d sick him on guys like Jock and Colin and keep the belt forever. HHAAHHAHHHAHAH! The Union Jets entered to "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins.... Revvin' up your engine Listen to her howlin' roar Metal under tension Beggin' you to touch and go LILLIAN And the opponents, from THE UNITED KINGDOM, they are C-4, TOM SMITH, THHHHHHHHEE UNNNNNNNNNIONNNNNNNN JETTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSS! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE This isn’t exactly the most obvious of pairings. Talking about The Union Jets and Tanner Neptune. REJECT Neptune is lucky anyone wants to associate with him. He’s a snake in the grass, lusting after friend’s girl and sister. Tanner entered to "Drive" By DJ Fresh......... I wanna go somewhere so take me, show me fire I wanna go somewhere, I don't care, hold me tighter I wanna go somewhere so drive me, drive me faster Hey Speed up on a highway Slow down, do what I say So hot when you touch me Real love when you kiss me Make me wanna come alive Baby, you know what I like Fast car, take me for a ride Just drive Drive, drive, drive via GIPHY LILLIAN And their partner, from Palm Beach, Florida he is the reigning GALAXY CHAMPION, TTTAAANNNEERRRR NEEPPPTUNNNEEEE!!! DING DING RENEE Hey, look, everybody! We’re being joined by The Union Jets next Anderson Cup opponents, talking about, Southern Smoke! LAWSON You have the honor. C-4 was going to start off against Money Marc. But the Texan 1 Percenter snidely remarked… MONEY MARC It isn’t so easy when you’re fighting me instead of tagging me, TanTan. Don’t worry, youngster, I understand. Tanner’s nose flared ever so slightly, and he swiftly hopped into the ring. REJECT Was that…anger, annoyance? Forgot to toke the smoke before the match, champ! PAINBOW Cracka smoking skunk weed and Reggie. White boy ain’t rolling no real shit. Money Marc circled his ex-partner, which turned out to be a bad idea as the champ pounced on him with forearms! MONEY MARC Fuck me! Tanner shot the Austin, TX native into the ropes and then leveled him with a Texas sized spin kick to the face. Vision blurred, a shocked Money Marc concerned himself with his dental state. REJEC If he lost some chiclets, we aren’t see any Youtube uploads of his Chanel’s podcast. LAWSON Podcast? Hmph. I keep telling these guys if they got locked in and focused on the ring they could be the top two in the world. Well, after nearly losing his two front teeth Money Marc was in no mood to rehash beef with Tanner. Thus he tagged in his partner Conan “Coco” Chanel. Coco entered the ring to a hefty, weighty, heat from the Deviants. But he had a comeback…. COCO Be quiet. And it worked! Unmoved by being able to shut up a bunch of horny drunks, Coco worked over Tanner with armwrenches and arm wringers. But thechampion would flip out the hold and then strike Coco with a flpping heel kick to the jaw! RENEE Is there any dentist in LA that does two for one? Tanner tagged in C-4, a favorite of Vince149. Be assured that Vince149 nearly creamed himself as C-4 tapped Coco in a side headlock…AND WRENCHED ON IT! Thanks to his hours spent at the finest of gyms, Coco’s strength allowed him to put C-4 on the ground with a back suplex. C-4 writhed in pain, leaving him soon victimized by Coco’s spinning elbow drop! REJECT Too many tag teams in this business have forgotten what it means to be a tag team. But every team in that ring and at this booth understands the lost art. Proving Reject’s point, Money Marc and Coco Chanel tag and then surround C-4. The Brit tried to fight back but the duo hooked up and slammed him to the mat with a double hip toss! Cover… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Money Marc tagged Bedrock, leading to worried murmurs from the Deviants. RENEE Lawson, Painbow, have you ever seen a wrestler that inspired fear on sight? PAINBOW Yeah. RENEE Who? LAWSON Us. C-4 threw a barrage of punches against Bedrock’s dome. But with such a strong skull Bedrock easily no sold the attacks. Growling, he shoved C-4 backwards…but into a blind tag from Tom Smith. Together the Union Jacks bounced off the ropes and took down Bedrock with a double flying shoulder tackle. Then, Smith went to the second rope and came down on Bedrock’s skull with a knee drop! Cover… ONE! Kickout! RENEE Neither of you have wrestled The Union Jets in any form of match. But given the esteem they have in the industry, Southern Smoke, I have to imagine you have a lot of respect for them. PAINBOW Fuck you mean? We supposed to respect them because some 75 pound twink in Orange County gave they matches 54 stars. Fuck these whitebread, vanilla ice cream, vanilla wafer dudes. Fuck you think you talking to? Smith locked Bedrock in a half crab which somehow led to Push going through his rule book to see if crabs are illegal. Spoiler: They aren’t. LAWSON You ain’t gonna see us pinning the Union Jets, or tapping them out. We’re gonna choke them, rip the air from ‘em and leave em for dead. Bedrock powered out of the hold with an ease that upset Smith. But as a true vet, Smith steeled himself and slammed a series of knife edge chops into Bedrock’s wide chest. The moves did little damage to the caveman who nearly knocked Smith into retirement with a headbutt! “OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BEDROCK Blargh!! Bedrock stomped his feet, and glared wilded eyed at TannerE! RENEE Bedrock says bring it on, Tanner! REJECT He’s making competitive demands. Does that mean he’s evolving? Tanner played to the crowd a bit, letting them roar and cheer before he accepted Smith’s tag! RENEE Is this a preview of the Anglemania 21 mainevent? Bedrock roars as he bum rushes Tanner! The smaller grappler is put under heavy fire from open hand strikes by the cavemand. Yet, Tanner manages a comeback as he surprises Bedrock with a sitout jawbreaker a la Jeff Hardy. Bedrock reeled, more angry than pained, as Tanner sprung onto the turnbuckle. The Galaxy Champ soared as high as the stars with a moonsault press! But he crashed like an asteroid as Bedrock caught him and drove him to the mat with a powerslam! REJECT Champions are made with slams, Renee. I think Southern Smoke will agree with me. Bedrock slobbered in a rabid fit as he tore up Tanner with a barrage of stomps. The moves left the Palm Beach native with bruised ribs and diminishing prospects. RENEE I’d think it would be smart for Bedrock to focus on Tanner’s midsection. REJECT Except Bedrock isn’t smart by even the most generous definitions of the word. Tanner worked his suffering body upright with Bedrock looming large. The caveman was unrelenting bulldozing the Palm Beach native into the corner. Then, reminiscent of Umaga, Bedrock let out one of his ferocious roars and charged forward. But this time Tanner was waiting for him and warded him away with raised boots. LAWSON Tell the dweebs at the website to put up a poll. Me and Painbow wanna see how many people think the Union Jets are gonna defeat us. RENEE Looking for some locker room motivation? LAWSON Nah, I’m running a census, I wanna see how many fucking retards watch TMW. Bedrock recovered but couldn’t prevent Tanner from bringing him down with a reverse STO! “YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Tan It Like You Mean It! What do you think Bedrock would do if he saw a tannin booth? REJECT Try and eat it. Tanner made the tag to Smith, giving our champ time to rest his weakened ribs. The Union Jets made quick tags, demonstrating their classic British Bulldogs-inspired teamwork, keeping Bedrock on his toes and taking advantage of his lack of intellect. RENEE Looking at Twitter, former All XFL Team exec Rick Heyross said he’s “putting his life savings and his 3 cars on The Union Jets to win the Anderson Cup.” PAINBOW Who the fuck is Rick Heyross to have an opinion on anything? That man was an athletic supporter. You know what an athletic supporter is? A jockstrap. This man is fat, short, bald and gay. His face look like an avacado. Who the fuck values his opinion? He got 3 cars? I got 6. Fuck dude. RENEE How many cars do you have, Lawson? LAWSON Don’t matter. I got my license revoked. Punched a cop, slammed his head on the hood of his car, drove with him on top of it for 3 miles. REJECT You southern boys are built different. Smith went up top, seeking out his deadly diving headbutt. However, Bedrock made a sudden recovery that saw him rush to an unprepared Smtih. The Manchester, England native could only brace himself as Bedrock pressed him off the top! RENEE A rough throw with an even rougher landing. Money Marc tagged himself in, which did not please Bedrock. Not because he didn’t like Money Marc. No, because Bedrock did not understand the rules of tag team wrestling. LAWSON You’d think this caveman would be a lot more popular with these people. They can relate to this kind of dude. RENEEE They can relate to Bedrock?! LAWSON They’re all fucking ‘tards! Money Marc sized up a weary Smith then pounced on him with forearms to the back! With Smith weakened Money Marc threw him to the mat with a sitout side slam known as Hold You Down! MONEY MARC Money talks! Bullshit waks! Smith might not be able to talk after the Austin, Texas native drove a delayed point-of-elbow onto his mouth! PAINBOW These our boys, Money Marc and Conan Chanel. I ain’t gonna call him Coco. I ain’t about to be on TV calling the next man “Coco.” LAWSON Renee charges extra to call her “coco.” REJECT RENEE Jerk! Money Marc Bennett used his old-school wrestling style to ground Smith, hooking him into a reverse chinlock. REJECT Now, the reverse chinlock isn't just about physical dominance; it's about getting into your opponent's head. When you're locked in that hold, struggling to breathe, it messes with your psyche MONEY MARC Give it up! No sir! Smith wouldn’t “give it up” instead using his strength to power upright. In a classic sequence, Smith broke the hold with a trio of crowd popping elbows to the stomach. Smith then hit Money Marc with a dropkick, sending him reeling into the Texan’s corner. REJECT It’s time for Smith to tag Tanner. Tanner is the freshest, even fresher than Money Marc and Chanel. Smith had the same notion. But while the mind had the will, the body didn’t have the way. This allowed Money Marc to rush forwarf club Smith down! “BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” REJECT The art of tag team wrestling involves cutting that ring in half. It's like trapping them in a spider's web – no escape, no help. That's when you strike, and that's when you secure victory. PAINBOW Uncle out there fiending to put on them tights again. Conan "Coco" Chanel, the arrogant heir to the Chanel line, dazzled with one of his flashier moves "Hypnotic Poison" aka jumping snapmare onto Smith! Cover… ONE! TWO! THREE!!! NO! KICKOUT! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Money Marc took the tag from his snobbish partner with the match in the (money) bag. The Texan went to the top rope and flashed the money fingers to the disdainful audience. MONEY MARC CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME!!!!!!!!!!!! Money Marc sailed off the top rope, the crowd in awe as he landed a leg drop across Smith’s throat! “OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Cover.. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! A KICKOUT! The one percenters tagged again, this tie plotting a double team move. They lifted Smith into the air, looking to toss him out the ring with a vertical suplex! But, somehow Smith reversed the move into a double DDT! RENEE I don’t think the bad guys expected that one! Smith used the last of his strength to dive forward and tag C-4! “YYYYYYYYYYAEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Coco, the illegal man, was up first and thus endured the brunt of C-4’s offense. The rich kid fought back and eventually sent Smith to the ropes. On the rebound Smith turned the tables taking Conan down with a diving shoulder block! BEDROCK BLAAARGGH! Bedrock had had enough! He charged into the ring with such force that his simple shove on C-4 sent the Brit back into the corner. BEDROCK BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGH! Upon seeing Tanner tag in Bedrock grew more enraged than usual. He dashed for Tanner only to have the much quicker grappler rock him with springboad dropkick! Rest found Bedrock thanks to Money Marc and Coco swarm Tanner! RENEE It’s like the IRS and FEC tag teaming on an audit! Smith came to help and use the momentum of his charge to send himself and Coco over the ropes! The pair rolled all the way to Sofa Central, thudding against the announce desk. LAWSON This man, Tom, scuffed my shoes. RENEE What are you talking about? PAINBOW He fucked up your kicks, blood? LAWSON He scuffed my shoes. PAINBOW This man fucked up ya kicks, blood? Man, hell naw! That clearly hadn’t happen. But Southern Smoke pouncing on Smith with stomps? Them lifting him high into the air? Them press slamming him through the announce desk? The image of a man’s mangled body lying in a wreckage of wood? CAUGHT IN 4K!!! C-4 NO! C-4 came flying through the ropes like a scud missile and bombed across the bodies of Southern Smoke, adding to pile of flesh and blood! Meanwhile in the ring, Money Marc and Tanner traded blows. The less liked of the pair eye raked his foe, and laughed as he hooked his former BFF from behind. MONEY MARC Come on, Bedrock! BEDROCK BLARGH? MONEY MARC Come on! Bedrock came with the deadliest of thrust kicks, aimed at the champ’s head. Yet, Tanner made a slippery last minute escape. This left Money Marc’s nose to nearly shatter from the impact of the kick! “OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tanner turned on Bedorck blasting him with a spinning wheel kick! The strike knocked Bedrock loopy and with blurred eyes did he watch Tanner asced to the top rope and then come down on Money Marc with a FIVE STAR TAN SPLASH!! “YYYYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Cover… CROWD ONE! COWD TWO! THREE! Ding ding ding!!! Winner: Tanner Neptune and The Union Jets, via pinfall The Deviants rise, applauding the face team for their incredible performance. However, as the adrenaline begins to settle, a sudden shift in the atmosphere took everyone by surprise……….. BEDROCK BLAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Out of nowhere, Bedrock, the literal caveman powerhouse, storms into the ring, grunting and growling with primal rage.. The laid-back surfer, unaware of the impending danger, turned around just in time to be met with a brutal clothesline from Bedrock! “OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!” REJECT Bedrock’s been waiting a million years to throw a clothesline that! Mister Steal Yo Push, Bedrock's sharp-dressed manager, looks on with a sinister smile as chaos reigned. RENEE That slimeball, Push. It’s him and Win Griffey JR who are pulling Bedrock’s puppet strings. Outside, Southern Smoke and their boys, Money Marc and Coco Chanel lay into the Union Jets. These Jets are grounded like they were made by Boeing! The four men are unrelenting and unmerciful in their annhilation! Insert BLAINE RENEE That’s Blaine’s music! And here he comes! BLAINE CAYLEY SPEEDS TO THE RING, FIELD HOCKEY STICK IN HAND! RENEE Come get you some, Blaine! Come resuce Tanner! Except Blaine goes for Money Marc and Coco Chanel, batterin each with his field hockey stick! RENEE Blaine, Tanner needs help! REJECT True, but Marc’s the guy who laid out Sammi with a Death Valley Driver. Southern Smoke manages to usher their friends away. But Tanner isn’t so lucky as Bedrock continues to dominate. RENEE Blaine! Tanner needs help! But that help doesn’t come as Blaine chases the foursome backstage! RENEE Blaine! What about Tanner? The TMW Galaxy Champion, who moments ago stood tall as a victorious hero, was now a symbol of vulnerability at the demented hands of the savage Bedrock! FADE OUT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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