Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2023 Report Share Posted April 3, 2023 THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PORN AND SPORTS AND ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS HOTTIEMANIA 21!!! We’re taken to a ramshackle, disgusting, dingy, dirty studio apartment in Queens NY belonging to…. DEM BUMS! The trio of Congressman Joel Duncan, Vinny Valentine, and Tony Tourettes are crammed on a torn sofa from the 80’s and sitting in front of a 40 inch TV. TONY This is gay. VINNY Come on, Joel, change the chanel. CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN Nah, I got heavy action on this game. VINNY On the TaiwanBeer HeroBears vs Kaohsiung Aquas? TONY You told me there’d be some fucking hot Asian cheerleaders. All I’m seeing are some little Asian guys and random black dudes. I could leave the apartment and see the same thing. What the fuck is this shit? CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN Money, Tone, Money. VINNY I can’t take anymore! Change! CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN No! Suddenly a cloud of smoke fills the room through this misty portal steps BIG PAPA THRUST!!! BIG PAPA THRUST You pieces of white trash MAKE ME SICK! TONY Hey, buddy, I got the YEAR LONG sub to Evil Angel. Do you? BIG PAPA THRUST You fat asses want something to watch? Fat ass? Vinny looks down at his slender physique. Menawhile BPT snaps his fingers and at opposite ends of the couch appear…. DECEMBER BELLE BOBBI CHEESECAKE BOBBI We’ve got something for you to watch, boys. Don’t we, December? DECEMBER I dunno. Do we? I forgot my phone passcode again so I’m locked out. BOBBI It’s 1111. How do you…you know what never mind. Boys, give your TV a good spank. At least December remembers this part of the gag and bends over to spank the TV, while giving Dem Bums a view of her healthy camel toe! The basketball game goes away, replaced by footage of our Hotties in various stages of undress, not to mention the wild sexual positions they’re in! BOBBI And get ready for Hottiemania! Dem Bums high five each other, ironically as Krista and Maya are cumswapping on the screen! BPT Thank me later! We cut into Madison Square Garden where pyro abounds! And then we focus on Alix and Renee! Renee wears a slinky red and white gown to show her love of her country, and Alix wears a black number with a plunging neckline to show the love of showing off her tits! ALIX Welcome to the grandmama of them all! Welcome to Anglemania! RENEE It’s been a wild ride, there’s been curses, super stables formed, sexual assaults, incest, but we’re here Alix! We're here in New York City, the city that never sleeps with the sluts who sleep with anyone! ALIX Krista said she just keeps us two around because we’re non union. RENEE Welp, your first scoop of the night. But what you really want to know is who will win the battle of blond powerhouses, who will walk out Hottiemania as OVARY Champion? Charli or Jenna Malibu of the AWO? Let’s find out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2023 ***OVARY TITLE: Jenna Malibu Vs Charli 9ine (c)*** LILLIAN Ladies and Deviants, it is time for Hottiemania!!! “WE WANT HOES! WE WANT HOES! WE WANT HOES!” LILLIAN The following opening contest is for the OVARY TITLE! We cut from Lillian to the front row….why, you ask? Because Hall of Famer and Franchise Zack Malibu sits with his wife Candie! “FRANCHISE! FRANCHISE! FRANCHISE!” RENEE We haven’t seen Zack Malibu on an Anglemania ring floor since Anglemania 10. He and wife Candie are all set to watch their pride and joy! Speaking of… Jenna enters to “Death by Rock and Roll” by The Pretty Reckless…. Jenny died of suicideWith a candle burnin' in her eyeBut on my tombstone when I goJust put "Death by Rock and Roll" LILLIAN Introducing the challenger, from Malibu, California, she represents the AWO, she is “THE PRODIGY” JENNNNAAAAA MAAALLLLLLIBBBUUUUUUUU! “BBBBOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE As if the pressure of competing for the OVARY title wasn’t enough, Jenna has to do it in front of her parents. ALIX PSHAW! I’ve performed in front of my parents tons of time. RENEE Well, the strip’s club is different than Hottiemania. LILLIAN And introducing the champion…. I wanna be your endgame I wanna be your first string I wanna be your A-Team (whoa, whoa, whoa) I wanna be your endgame, endgame Big reputation, big reputation Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations, ah And you heard about me, ooh I got some big enemies (yah) Big reputation, big reputation Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation, ah (git git) And I heard about you, ooh (yah) You like the bad ones too LILLIAN She is from Caroll, Iowa, “WIFEY” CHAAARRRLLLIIII NNNNIIIINNNNEEEEEE! ALIX Hottiemania kicks off with what the Deviants like best! Big boobie blonds! RENEE Charli has made some big enemies in the AWO. You have to wonder are Dreamy, Tabitha and Angie lurking and waiting if this goes bad for Jenna? DING DING DING RENEE Hottiemania begins and the babes are ready to brawl! ALIX See it is like a strip club! Jenna had the nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall to challenge Charli to a test of strength! CHARLI Seriously? JENNA I’m always serious. Charli engaged Jenna’s (doomed) wish and locked grips with her foe. Ah, there’s nothing like shattered dreams as Jenna’s were shattered as Charli brought Jenna down to her knees. RENEE I think we all saw that coming. ALIX Crap! I just lost 20 bucks on DraftKings! Jenna bailed out of the ring, her red face showing her embarrassment. She wound up near her parents which only deepened her embarrassment. CHARLI Just because I won a test of strength doesn’t mean I’m not a delicate maiden. RENEE Maiden?! Zack whispered something to Candie, perhaps an innocent comment, but enough to cause great paranoia in Jenna. She scowled fiercely and charged into the ring where she forced Charli into a lockup. Alas, Jenna could not surmount Wifey as the Iowa native shoved the challenger into the corner. There, Referee Clem Buzzlefoxxer V called for and earned a clean break, RENEE I’ve heard of not letting your opponent get in your head, but Jenna’s parents are in her head. ALIX That reminds me to send Nasty Nate a nude pic so he’ll give my pops some commissary snacks. Jenna, stubborn to the last, demanded Charli take on another test of strength. Unbothered (for once) Charli took the test….and got high marks as she shoved her opponent all the way across the ring! This did it for Jenna! The Prodigy bailed from the ring where she sulked in a fashion more befitting of Dreamy. RENEE One thing Zack was so good at it was adapting to his situation. ALIX Jenna doesn’t want to adapt to the situation, she is THE SITUATION! Woooooah 2010 flashblack,I normally have to be super high to go back past 2015! Referee Clem V beseeched Jenna to reenter the fray, which only made the fist-clenching Malibu all the madder. But as you can’t win belts on the outside, Jenna dove back into the ring. Alas, she stood up to clubbing forearms from Charli! ALIX A clobbering, Charli be a clobbering! Charli shot Jenna into the ropes, but made the error of telegraphing a back body drop. This allowed Jenna to execute a hair-assisted mat slam! From there, Jenna pitched Charli out of the ring, landing the Iowa native in front of the Malibu couple. Jenna quickly followed Charli ringside; there, the challenger rammed the champion against the steel ring steps! ALIX Yeouch! I wonder if Charli is okay. RENEE Aside from being tossed over the ropes onto poorly padded concrete and thrown into the steel steps I’m sure she’s just fine. ALIX Phew! I was worried! Jenna tossed Charli into the ring and then hooked the leg for a cover…. ONE! A Kickout well before the two! Charli powered her way upright but couldn't stop Jenna from cinching in an abdominal stretch. Pervs across the Galaxy made sure to note the CLEAVAGE Zack’s baby girl sported for their arousal…. via GIPHY But, we had to say goodbye to boob shot as Charli hip-tossed Jenna over! Jenna groaned in anguish but made a quick rise to her feet. That did The Prodigy little good as Wifey swung around her to lay on a sleeper hold! Clem didn’t even get a chance to score the hold as the Iowan babe impressed the Hottiemania crowd with a sleeper hold side slam! “YYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Side Bitch Slam! ALIX A good side bitch should be your most treasured possession. It takes a lot to find someone to bear your bastard kids! The cover…. ONE! TWO! Jenna with the kickout! Charli shot Jenna into the corner but ate a boot on the charge. Though pained, Charli recovered in time to lay out Jenna with a lariat on The Prodigy’s charge! RENEE We saw Jenna destroy Dasha, we saw Charli destroy Dreamy. But these two Hotties are so evenly matched. ALIX Charli’s are a bit bigger. Trust me I can tell the slightest incremental measurement in blond boobage. It’s my superpower. Charli hoisted Jenna into the air for a back suplex that simply saw Jenna escape out the back! JENNA Your ass is mine! Jenna grabbed onto the Midwest stunner’s golden locks, thinking to do a hair assisted take over. But imagine Jennna’s shock when Charli seemed to enjoy getting her hair pulled on! RENEE So that’s all Skylar had to do, just pull Charli’s hair. ALIX And get Penny to pee on her! RENEE Gross! Charli realized she suddenly didn’t look like the innocent good girl anymore and made a frantic escape. Jenna gave chase only for Charli to back body drop her over the ropes! Amazingly, Jenna landed on her feet right in front of time keeper! Gold flashed before Jenna’s eyes and she snatched the OVARY title! CHARLI What do you think you’re doing? That’s my OVARY championship. Much to everyone’s shock, especially her parents, Jenna departed up the LED ramp with the belt. At the top of the entrance ramp, Jenna posed with the belt for the legion of photojournalists…. CHARLI How many times do I have to tell you people….DON’T PISS ME OFF! Charli hustled her fine ass out of the ring in hopes of retrieving her title belt! But Jenna launched it at her, forcing Charli to catch it lest her super sexy face be mangled. But right after that Jenna hit a Van Daminator! “OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Jenna hurried Charli into the ring and then hooked the leg for the cover… ONE! TWO! Charli powered out the pin! RENEE I’m sorry but that should been an immediate DQ. ALIX Clem can’t see more than five feet in front of him. RENEE Oh great. Jenna bounced on her heels, waiting for Charli to rise. She needn’t have waited long as the powerful vixen was fast to her feet. But Jenna was faster connecting with a SCHOOL’S OUT! RENEE That move has won Zack quite a few Anglemania matches! But it didn’t floor Charli to which Zack looked on with shaking head. Annoyed, Jenna blasted Charli with a second SCHOOL’S OUT! Yet again, Charli refused to fall. And once again Zack shook his head at his daughter’s failure. RENEE I don’t think this Is the Anglemania moment Jenna wanted! Jenna snatched hold of Charli’s arm and dragged her forward, finally putting her down with a short arm knee strike! “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!” Cover…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! “WIFEY! WIFEY! WIFEY!” Jenna came off the top with a double ax-handle blow that sent Charli tumbling to the floor! Pleased with herself Jenna looked down upon Charli with trash talking disdain… ALIX I know Clem can see that! Let that snake slither out Clemmy! RENEE No, don’t! Jenna exited the ring and pitched Charli into the steel steps. Alas Clem COULDN’T see that, and Charli took advantage of this by replaying the attack. “FUCK THE AWO! FUCK THE AWO! FUCK THE AWO!” the Hottiemania fans sung and sang loudly. Jenna dropped Charli to her knees before her, lording over her with her second-generation glory! But Charli sprung to life and began blasting Jenna with punches! Back in the ring, Charli missed a clothesline and endured pounding on in the corner. Not the good kind! But, Wifey quickly turned things around hit Jenna with a receipt! ALIX CVS length! Jenna reversed a whip and connected with a spinning wheel kick! Cover… ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! Jenna went back to the floor and grabbed the ring bell! RENEE This is a very rare sight for Raw Is Whore! ALIX Our girls get hardcore but they sho’ don’t get the hardcore Jenna wants! Jenna went up top with the ring bell, even ignoring her mother’s cries of “no!” The Malibu situation further degenerated as ZACK took the ring bell out his daughter’s hands! “YYYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX First you sniff her panties, Zack, now you stop her from cheating! RENEE Where did that allegation come from? Jenna decided to come off the top anyway ….and ate Charli’s mucho expensive high heels! Staggering, Jenna couldn’t prevent Charli from lifting her onto her shoulders! RENEE Looking for Cuffing Seasons! But Jenna snuck out the back! The Prodigy quickly spun Charli around and delivered a crushing POP DROP!!!!! “OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Cover… ONE! TWO! THREE!! DING DING DING WINNER AND NEW OVARY CHAMPION: JENNA MALIBU RENEE The AWO is on the board! Now Jenna can pose with the BELT without anyone marking her as a fraud… RENEE After a ten year absence, a Malibu has an Anglemania moment. But at what cost to the family? ALIX Zack’s a super honorable dude which is why Krista never liked him. RENEE We have to ask ourselves how did getting that title thrown in her face and kicked effect Charli? I think will be the question that will linger over Jenna’s reign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2023 We’re taken to HOTTIEMANIA red carpet which is adorned with jumbo video screens for those outside to watch. RENEE We must be breaking some public decency laws. Speaking of indecency , a tuxedo clad Terry Taylor stands outside TAYLOR It’s mania at Mania! “R-I-DUB! R-I-DUB! R-I-DUB!” Suddenly a Dodge Charger rumbles up the red carpet, stopping just short of nailing rooster. RENEE He was almost roadkill! ALIX Krista’s hitmen are getting sloppy. Actually the driver isn’t a paid killer, but a girl who gets paid for her killer bod…. LEBRENDA JAMES TAYLOR LeBrenda? Phat ride, home girl! LEBRENDA Phat ride? Yo you got some street cred, Red Rooster. Now what you need to do with this street cred is GETS TO STEPPING! TAYLOR :( LEBRENDA Yo check this while “Jadeycakes” is riding pipe like Tony Hawk I’m cruising to put on the best performance the Garden has ever seen. The Great Black Hope is coming so hard Spike Lee’s great grandfather is gonna nut. I give Jade props she’s an All American White Trash Whore, but I’m the one doing things the American way. For myself. Jade can worry about getting these slobs off I’ll worry about kicking these sneakers off because I wear a new pair every day and these New Balances are set to Alvin Ailey on chubby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2023 RENEE Look who we have sitting at ringside. Doc White! ALIX Wave to the camera Docy-Doo! Doc smiles a cute smile and waves to all the Deviants at home. ALIX Krista likes an obedient bitch so Doc will keep her job for a while. Lady XFL enters to “Who You Talking To Man” WHO YOU TALKING TO MAN??? LILLIAN The following is a singles contest! Now making her way to the ring, accompanied by ALYSANNE “THE CHARMING,” she hails from Orlando, Florida, she is “THE ORLANDO HAMMER” ladies and Deviants THIS IS LADY XENA FRANSESCA LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE Lady XFL has won the Hard on Hoes Title at Anglemania and she has lost it at Anglemania. Now at Hottiemania she steps into a very volatile family feud. ALIX This Alysanne/Rhaenys feud makes me sick! Me and Izzy never ever argue. I think more sisters should have a relationship like me and Izzy. RENEE Uh, I don’t know about that. Alsyanne entered to Remember The Name By Fort Minor YOU READY?!! LET’S GO!!!! RENEE Rhaenys is hearing the cheers of the audience for the first time ever and it has to grate on Alysanne’s nerves. ALIX She’s got loosen up. She’s blond and has a tight butt, why so hostile all the time? Referee D’Lo Brown started to go over the rules of the affair. But Rhaenys said enough of that crap and spun Lady XFL around with a tilt a whirl head scissors! The move dizzied Lady XFL so much that she rolled out of the ring in agony. RENEE What I remember of Rhaenys is her having Alysanne do a lot of the work and the Rhaenys coming in to clean up. And I think that’s part of the resentment Alysanne has for Rhaneys. ALIX Totally. Ya know, Krista and I took equal turns burying guys and killing people’s heat, and that’s why we’re unhappily married! Lady XFL rose to her feet, her coco face flaring red. So mad in fact she ended up shoving an innocent DOC WHITE! DOC WHITE Excuse me? Did I do something to you?! “BEAT HER ASS DOC! BEAT HER ASS DOC! BEAT HER ASS DOC!” Instead Rhaenys landed atop Lady XFL with a tope con hilo! ALYSANNE Get it together, Xena!!!! RENEE Alysanne looks almost deranged at this point. ALIX The dang thing just jumped off. How the heck is she gonna look in five minutes? Rhaneys threw Lady XFL into the ring and proceeded to bomb across her with a slingshot elbow drop! Cover… ONE! Lady XFL powered out the pin! Pissed, Lady XFL ripped off her elbow pad and threw it at Doc! Even the even-tempered cool-headed Doc grew irate and dared Lady XFL on. ALIX We’re looking at a brawl better than the Scores Dressing Room, Renee! RENEE Because Lady XFL can’t control herself. Alysanne leapt onto the apron and pointed an accusatory finger at her sister. Your fault, Alysanne shouted, your fault! Rhayens response? She casually chucked her elbow pad at her little sister! RENEE How do you guys like it? ALIX They don’t like it very much, Alys is throwing the kind of shit fit Jade throws when she realizes we’re out of Hot Cheetos. Lady XFL came through for Alysanne; mowing down Rhaenys with a lariat. Furious, Lady XFL stomped away at Rhaenys. Alysanne ordered more carnage thus Lady XFL threw Rhaenys into the ropes. But when Lady XFL pressed her into the air for a back body drop, Rhaenys countered with a dropkick! RENEE Nice! Lady XFL doesn’t get reversed often. ALIX And she loses less than Ignatius, so how’s Rhaenys gonna win this match? Rhaenys proved her might as she slammed into Lady XFL with a standing shooting star press! Cover…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! Rhaenys hooked Lady XFL into a Boston Crab which for some reason forced Alysanne to jump up and down in a fit of rage. RENEE Imagine what a Texas Cloverleaf would do to Alysanne. Lady XFL showcased her incredible might by powering out the hold. Rhaenys pursued her, bouncing off the ropes…right into a big boot from the afflicted leg! RENEE Through the Uprights For Three! Lady XFL hobbled, clearly hurt from using the crabbed leg. Alysanne was less than sympathetic…’ ALYSANNE Beat the shit out of her! Lady XFL went to work, stomping away at her foe. Soon, Rhaenys was tossed into the corner. There she endured an avalanche charge from the former Hard On Hoes Champion! Rhaenys collapsed to the ground and was promptly pinned… ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! ALIX You don’t know which way Lady XFL is gonna come atcha. Feet, fists, headbutt, she’s coming with the hurting. Lady XFL positioned her rival onto the top rope, bringing a smile to Alysanne’s face. But when Xena climbed the ropes, Rhaenys hammered her with a trio of headbutts. The blows landed hard enough to knock Xena on her back. ALYSANNE What are you doing?! Get up! Rhaenys chucked her other elbow pad at Alysanne… ALYSANNE Bitch! DOC Rhaenys soared through the air with a phoenix splash, wowing the standing audience. BOOM! She landed with crushing impact! The pin…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO!!! ALYSANNE BROKE UP THE PIN! DING DING DING WINNER: Rhaenys, via DQ Rhaenys didn’t look like a winner as Alysanne wailed away at her! ALYSANNE Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Alysanne yanked her big sister to her feet and stuffed her into a front facelock. ALIX This makes me sick! Sisters are supposed to love each other! And I mean really love each other theehehehehe! But Alysanne let her grip loosen just a bit. That was enough for Rhaenys to back body drop her little sister over the ropes! “YYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Rhaenys hit the ropes, seeking out a suicide dive. But she encountered a big boot from Lady XFL! ALIX The kick is good! Lady XFL scowled as she dragged Rhaenys out of the ring! The crowd panicked and Road Agents Slime and Snot came to restore order. Instead Lady XFL decked the Mutants with punches! “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE That’s a fine! ALIX Ooooh a fine, money, I bet Krista is wet. Lady XFL cleared the Lithuanian announce desk of it’s monitors and forced the announcers to scatter. ALIX Wait a damn minute! The crowd voiced their furor as Lady XFL stashed Rhaenys between her legs! RENEE She wouldn’t! She can’t! ALIX Damn it, won’t someone stop this heinous monster? Doc would! Doc White clobbered Lady XFL in the back with a BUNSON BURNER! RENEE I’m not gonna ask why Doc carries a Bunson Burner with him her, I’m just gonna be happy she helped! Lady XFL staggered away and Doc gave chase, forcing Xena into the ring. There was no help for Lady XFL as Doc hit a rolling moonsault side slam on her! RENEE Flux Capacitor! Trouble continued to mount for Lady XFL as Rhaenys took to the the top rope yet again. The sold out crowd let loose with cheers as the masked Hottie dove upon her foe with a shooting star leg drop! ALYSANNE Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? “YOU GOT FUCKED UP! YOU GOT FUCKED UP! YOU GOT FUCKED UP!” RENEE This is the weakest, most dominated Lady XFL has ever looked and it is all thanks to Doc White and Rhaenys! Doc gracefully bowed out the ring, allowing Rhaenys to have her moment. The masked babe went back up top to welcome the raucous cheers from the Deviants. ALYSANNE Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2023 *** The Skylites (Skylar, Penny Mars & Billie Child) vs. Woke Queens & Euphoria *** Unfortunately for the Skylites the only highlights they had on a night full of them was in their hair, as the Titties of Justice (™ Euphoria) smothered Skylar’s crew in a grudge 6 woman tag thanks to an assist from... 👀 ... UNDIE BROWN and DETROIT CRACKHEAD! 😮 Yes, you read correctly. The perpetual freeloaders (sporting makeshift masks out of tattered rags) actually thwarted illegal activity, which for once they weren’t party to! Their help led to a flying crossbody by How2Girl onto Skylar, followed by a reckless big splash by Euphoria and the cover by Tori for the 1-2-3! Winners: Woke Queens & Euphoria, via pinfall. Post-match saw the other Skylites shield their leader from cameras as Tori, H2G and Euphoria finally united together to celebrate their victory! But the questioned remained: Why did Undie and DC lend a hand??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2023 We’re taken to the HOTTIEMANIA RED CARPET where THEE inquiring mind…. ANNIE IDOL Is standing with SOWEE aka THE BOOTY SOLDIER…. JADE RODEZ DUNCAN ANNIE Yes, Annie Idol has finally made it to the RED CARPET! You know what my drama teacher said? “Annie the only red carpet you’ll ever see is at the movie theatre.” EAT IT! JADE Eat? Food? ANNIE No, no, no, I didn’t mean it like that! JADE Hahhah, don’t worry Annie, I’m just funning with you. Annie it is HOTTIEMANIA! Can you do something for me? Can you work that tight little body for me? ANNIE Oh yes! Now it’s time to put the screws to my prom date who put the screws to my best friend… via RedGIFs JADE I’ll kiss you on the Red Carpet, fuck a TMZ! ANNIE Let’s not go that far. I need them to cover me and my many scandalous exploits! But Jade inquiring minds need to know after LeBrenda caused you to choke on a Hot Dog on Raw Is Whore is she in your head? JADE Annie, I’m a Hottie, do we actually have thoughts beyond dick, tits and ass? Hell no. LeBrenda, I love how pressed you’ve been over me since I stopped you from cheating to take my sister’s Hard On Hoes Title. Just like I can’t keep your man’s nut out my mouth you can’t keep my name out your mouth. You’re getting a little big for your britches, hun, and I know something about being big. Hun, you’re right, I’m All American White trash hoe, and in America we started the Me Too movement. So you can look back at Anglemania with Melissa, and Malaysia and Holly and Maggie and you can look at this loss column with them and you can say “Me Too!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2023 For this interview, we’re not on the Red Carpet but rather in front of Etta Kitt’s dressing room. Standing in front? Sara Jean, who's slim silver gown is even skimpier than Alix's! SARA JEAN Hey, gang, I’m waiting for Etta Kitt to leave her dressing room so I can interview the number one contender. But she’s been delaying an awfully long time. The door slowly opens and the number one contender, attired in her sort of sexy school teacher outfit steps forth. ETTA We do things as the veteran does them in the locker room. SARA JEAN Then why is everyone doing Red Carpet interviews and you’re backstage? ETTA The Red Carpet? Hmph. Silly frills and stupid gimmicks don’t interest me. But do you know what does? The Hard on Hoes Title. Ugh, a horrible name. I will rename that belt the second I win it, just as I will remake Maya in my image. SARA JEAN A lot of people have tried to change Maya and a lot of people have tried to beat her…. ETTA And they failed. Maya knows that getting to the top is harder than staying on top, but she has done both. There’s something to work with there! There’s something to be molded, and crafted, and formed into the next Etta Kitt! But first? There’s something to defeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2023 RENEE Well, uh, it’s time for something I never thought I’d see, and frankly I never thought I’d use this phrase, “it’s time for the CUNTUCKY DERBY!” There I said it. Wow. Just wow. ALIX Krista, Zelda, Susan, Annagret, Stacy, Cinnamon, this isn’t talking about championships, it ain’t talking about gold, it ain’t about posing. These are six white whores entering the jungle. These women have booked their hospital beds because black studs are gonna fuck them until they beg for mercy! RENEE I’m really at a loss for words. Which is fine because we throw it to Sara Jean. Sara Jean is present and looking like she’s ready for some BBC herself…. i SARA JEAN Renee, Alix is right! It is a jungle and we’ve got jungle fever! We had black guys from around the globe begging to be the studs in the Cuntucky Derby. And these men behind me… The camera pans to a bevy of black dudes, all getting their cocks warmed up by Fluffers. SARA JEAN These black beasts were handpicked by Toni Patrica herself. I asked her about the Derby and she just smirked and walked away. I know she’s somewhere watching, and I know millions of Deviants are watching and salivating so let's kill the wait… cuE: Shake it off by Taylor Swift.... Got nothing in my brain That's what people say, mmm-mmm That's what people say, mmm-mmm LILLIAN The following contest is the CUNTUCKY DERBY! “YYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” LILLIAN Each woman will be taken by these black studs and the women who makes the most studs come in thirty minutes is your winner! Introducing first, she is born and raised in the entertainment capital of the world, Los Angeles, California, she is the Queen of All Media, she is “MISS CALIFORNIA” KRISTA ISADORA DUNNNCAAAAAAAAN! “YYYYEAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Folks, let me tell you about my wife. She’s so into black cock that she, as a Jewish woman, said Kyrie’s anti-semitisim only made her wanna get fucked and abused by him! Cue:: Another Life by David Guetta and Afrojack featuring Esther Dean I'm waking up, thinking how we used to be I still hang on to our tired dreams I wish we could turn back the hands of time Replace the poison that you left onto my mind Maybe we'll meet again in another life Maybe we're better in another paradise Maybe we will meet again Maybe we will fall again In another life LILLIAN And from Columbia, Maryland, she is “THE SOCCER MOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!” SUSAN LESLIEEEEEEEEEEE! “YYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE I think a subset of Deviants like to watch our gals in trouble, and , well, Susan is in big trouble! ALIX She’s caught like a whiteboy in the black dude’s side of the yard! Cue: Heads Wil Roll by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs Heads Will Roll....Heads Will Roll....On the Floor LILLIAN From Lovelock, Nevada, she is “THE SPICE OF LIFE” CINNNAMOOOON SPOOOOOONNNSSSSSS! “BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ALIX We got a little saying back home in Oklahoma, “if you can fuck a horse, you can fuck anything.” RENEE All right, you ARE NOT from Oklahoma, but that saying probably is true so Cinnamon is in good shape here. But maybe not after Annagret slapped her on Raw Is Whore Cue:: Knock You Out by Bingo Players My fight is wonWho needs a gunBoom boom knock you outYou knocked me downBut who's laughing nowBoom boom knock you outMy fight is wonWho needs a gunBoom boom knock you outYou knocked me downBut who's laughing nowBoom boom knock you out LILIAN And from Austin, Texas, she is “THE ALL AMERICAN CHICK” MISSSSSSSSS KUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTT! RENEE We’ve seen the late Jock Mulligan defeat Reject to win the world title at Anglemania, we saw him end Krista’s winning streak, we’ve seen the best of Jock Mulligan. What will we see from his daughter? ALIX Anal creampies! Cue:: Sex by Collette Carr Sex, the way you move it make me wanna Sex, question is are we gonna Sex, we ain't kids... Sex, I know we just met but listen Sex, the way you move it make me wanna Sex, question is are we gonna Sex, we ain't kids... Sex, no disrespect but I need your sex Face down, ass up, that's the way I shake my butt LILLIAN And from Asgard, she is “THE SNOWBUNNY,” ANNNNAAAGGRETTTT WICKEDDDDBOORRRRRRRN! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ALIX Annagret Wickedborn is as straightforward a black cock whore as you can be! She turned her back on every other color of dick, every person who jerked off to her has been stabbed in the back! Unless they like the cuckold thing, then Annagret is doing a movie called “The daughter and The Cuckold” with Toni P. Entrance music: Haxans by Dirty Magic Entrance description: I can't get high enough above youI can't get drunk enough to love youI'm the angel to your devilI won't sink down to your levelThe way I fell for you is tragicYou must have used that dirty magic over me LILLIAN And from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, she is “THE ULTIMATE MAGIAN” ZELDA BAZZZILLLLL!!!! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE She actually showed up! Maybe she doesn’t have the Bazil cowardice in her genes? ALIX Remy ran from Snot when Snot accused him of eating the Burger King bag clearly marked “Snot,” If you run from Snot there ain’t no hope for ya! The contest couldn’t start as Zelda grabbed a microphone with one hand while the other produced a green and yellow MAGIC WAND ZELDA Tremble, for I am The Ultimate MAGE! ANNAGRET More like the Ultimate DORK, what do you think you’re doing, Pig Barf? ZELDA Grrrr….I get the feeling you don’t understand but whatever. KRISTA Zelda, honey, it’s nice you wanna do a pre-match intro but uh Road Dogg you are not. And black dick is money my pussy is a bank account ready for a deposit! ZELDA Watch and be amazed! MISS KUNT Isn’t she the coolest? ANNAGRET Uh, no. She’s stupid and she sucks. TSM Zelda, are you okay? Are you nervous? Because- ANNAGRET Who cares what she is? OH-EM-GEE, I am OVER this. Zel-delusional-loser-da, come here. ZELDA Stand back, plebs! There’s magic at work! You will never force me, the Ultimate Mage into a Cuntucky Derby! Fear my master plan! (begins waving magic wand) Abra Cadabra, Razza, Marazza ANNAGRET We’re done here. ZELDA FRABBA BODABBRA, ZORA, MOR, HEYEYYYY ANNAGRET? Why the hey? Because Annagret grabbed Zelda’s wand swinging arm. Despite Annagret being a goddess, Zelda stages a good fight as the wand waves to and fro ZELDA Let go Anna-acts-like-a-spoiled-brat-Gret! ANNAGRET No! ZELDA Yes! ANNAGRET No! ZELDA Yes! KAPOW! KABOOM! KABLAM! RENEE Look the magic wand sent all those sparks the studs! The studs try and scatter but the procession of white and yellow sparks bombs across each and everyone of the dark skinned hunks. TSM Zelda you prepared a pyro show? KRISTA I didn’t budget for that! ZELDA It’s not pyro. It’s magic. MISS KUNT Uh, girls. ANNAGRET I’m not a spoiled brat. This is my natural state! MISS KUNT Girls? ZELDA This is your natural state? That’s even worse! MISS KUNT Girls? KRISTA You two play nice for Mommy Krista, okay. MISS KUNT GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stacy shaking fingers point to a most unusual sight, a sight not beheld in wrestling since the Goodwins, a sight of farm animals loitering around the suddenly frightened and screaming Fluffers. TSM They turned the men into farm animals. KRISTA Yup. Sure did. TSM That’s very strange. KRISTA Yup. Sure is. ……………… KRISTA & TSM THEY TURNED THE MEN INTO FARM ANIMALS?!!!!!!! ANNAGRET What did you do, pig barf?! “OINK!” “NEIGH!” “WOOF!” ZELDA It’s magic. ANNAGRET Change them back. ZELDA Uh…. ANNAGRET I don’t even have it in me to kick her ass. Cinnamon, redeem yourself from failing to beat the shit outta Krista. CINNAMON Wow! Look! So many farm animals! Horseies! So many horsies! Okay, Annagret, I failed with Krista, but I’m ready to do my best! ANNAGRET Good. You’re dead meat, pig barf. CINNAMON Which horse should I suck first, Annagret? ANNAGRET OINK!” “MOO!” “NEEEIGH!” ALIX Yeesh, what’s that smell? RENEE Alix did you fail to notice the thirty-something animals by the stage?! ALIX Krista calls me an animal and I don’t stink. No excuses! RENEE Nevermind that. All the Cuntucky Derby men have been transformed into animals. The match is ruined. Was that Zelda’s plan all along? TSM This is awful. The fans are confused, not knowing what to think, say or do. CINNAMON This is AWESOME! I’ll do anything I can to prove I’m the superior breed mare! It’s go time everyone! Let’s ride some horsies! ANNAGRET What.Is.Wrong.WITH YOU?!!!!!!!!!! OH-EM-GEE, I can’t take your shit anymore! CINNAMON Anna? Did I do something bad? KRISTA Don’t be in such a rush, Cinnamon, take a moment and think: I realize you’re all heated up, but no one here is going to fuck Scooby Doo, Seabiscuit and Babe The Pig. I hate not getting those darkie dicks, but ah it feels so good to say this, Annagret you really fucked up. ANNAGRET Me?! This is a Pig Barf production! MISS KUNT I knew all men were animals. This proves it! KRISTA In that case you two can argue who gets top billing in the OAOAST Network documentary “How the CUNTucky Derby was ruined!” In the stands we find restless Deviants. Angry Deviants. Sexually frustrated Deviants! There’s not a quiet mouth in the house as the fans vocally and hostile express their rage. RENEE I think the Deviants are ready to riot! RENEE What’s going on now?! Who’s music is this?! You’ll need a mop to clean up all the drool from the Deviants! Why the drool? Because the Nubian princess, Toni Patrica, arrived in a wood popping see-through sequined gown. TONI I’m in a really great fucking mood right now. KRISTA Phew! The lawyers said magical conversion to animal falls under the hold the OAOAST no liability in the waiver all the men signed. TONI Not that, Krista. I’m in a great fucking mood because we’re about to have a Toni Patrica premier, The Cuntucky Derby: Wrestling’s FIRST BEASTIALITY GANGBANG “YYYYYEEAAAA!” Some Deviants already have their meat out. TSM You can’t mean…you expect us to… TONI Oh yeah, you gonna get into some thangs, some animal thangs! KRISTA I knew something was off about that Kool Aid, yes, I clearly am in a ketamine-induced nightmare. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” MISS K I refuse! TONI You love cute girls, don’t you? MISS K Yeah… TONI So you want to make a cute girl happy, don’t you? KRISTA There’s no place like sobriety, there’s no place like sobriety, there’s no place like sobriety TSM Please, I have a family…. TONI A bestiality cuckold! Hahahaha that’s even hotter! Isn’t that right Cinnamon CINNAMON Doggies, horsies, piggies, all mine! Don’t touch these throbbing animal cocks until I get to sample all of them! ANNAGRET Oh my gawd! This sucks! This is your fault, pig barf TONI But it will be your fault if you wind up unemployed, because if you don’t start fucking these creatures…..YOU’RE FIRED! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2023 CINNAMON Don’t worry, Sissy, I’ll show you how it’s done! ANNAGRET Don’t call me “Sissy.” And how what’s done? CINNAMON How Cinnamon Spoon animal uh…animal….I haven’t worked the nickname out yet! Animal fucker? No too crass. Animal Bedder? Yes! I Cinnamon Spoons, Animal Bedder, will lead the way, Sissy! Watch me do our family proud! ANNAGRET You’re gonna fuck a cow and make mom happy. That’s just great. CINNAMON Not a cow! A horsie! Cinnamon knelt near a black stallion, whose girth almost matched her beloved ChubChub. CINNAMON Ya gotta get him hardsies! ANNAGRET Did you say “hardsies?” Cinnamon spat on her hands, rubbed them together, then began stroking the horse. It almost felt like cheating on ChubChub when the beast’s beastly member grew big in her hands “YYYYYEAAAAAAAA!” The sickos sung as the cock grew the full length of Cinnamon’s arm. RENEE Our fans are sick pervs! CINNAMON Now that it’s hardsies, it’s time for fucksies. ANNAGRET Stop attaching “sies” after everything you say it’s SO annoying. Cinnamon kneeled on the ground again, and raised her less-than-innocent rear in the air. The throbbing equine dick hovering in the air behind her must have hungered for human cunny. It immediately dove into her pussy like a dolphin into water. “DIRTY WHORE! DIRTY WHORE! DIRTY WHORE!” The fans chant at the disgusting horse fucker. The fact that Anglemania once hosted mainevents of Zack Malibu Vs Anglesault or Mister Dick vs Reject and now hosts a disgusting wench being banged by a horse shows how far into sin the OAOAST has fallen This is is too much for The Soccer Mom! From bake sales, and symphonies in the woods to a mass bestiality gangrape? No! It can’t be! She wouldn’t let herself be victimized by animals. THE SOCCER MOM I’m getting out of here! The Soccer Mom tried to escape through the stands but the savage Deviants had other ideas; namely the idea of seeing the big titty bitch humiliated, violated and disgraced for life. They shoved her back towards the pen, where the tearful mother landed near a very randy dog. RENEE Someone please help, Susan! ALIX Don’t worry, dogs are man’s best friend. And TSM’s worst nightmare! The dog positioned his front legs just over her shoulders and held on tight. His bulbus was fully erect as he pressed the tip right up to her soft cunt. TSM No! Please don’t! Dripping precum, the dog penetrated her. The fans who forced Susan into the canine carnality high five each other. Others stroke themselves, many turned on by The Soccer Mom’s tears. Elsewhere, Krista is living a dog’s life. Fans around her watch as a dog muscles tighten and become rigid as the dog began to breed the ultimate MILF. KRISTA Agh! Fuck! Ow! Ouch! Fuck! No! Beads of sweat formed on fans foreheads as they slipped their hand down his pants and wrapped around their dicks. Knotting inside Krista, the dog rapidly began humping her. “BREED THAT OLD BITCH! BREED THAT OLD BITCH! BREED THAT OLD BITCH!” His massive hind legs dug into the sheets on the bed, stretching and tearing the ground. Brutus grunted as he thrust inside Krista, his long balls flailing wildly as he fucked. Just think this is a record holding OAOAST World Champion. Now she’s being fucked by an animal for the demented pleasure of all us Deviants RENEE These poor women they don’t deserve this. ALIX Vince149 is screaming in my ear telling me to tell you women deserve whatever dick they get! Zelda’s responsible for this mess so it only makes sense she’s getting it worse. A massive horse plunged his titanic throbbing boner into her poop chute. Zelda’s bowels and lunch are rearranged by the continued plugging of her crapper by this equine demon If Zelda actually had useful magical skill maybe she could magic her way out of this. Normally there’s no better feeling than watching a whore who thinks she’s more than that be put in her place. But we are experiencing a new high with a fucking horse using its peter to destroy Zelda’s shit pipe! ZELDA Waaaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaaaaah I want it to stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Despite her sister’s helpful instructions, Annagret had no shortage of troubles enduring a horse’s staff within her sinful pussy. You’d think given her lone talent is taking big dicks that being fucked by a primal beast would be a cinch. But no, Annagret whines like a typical white bitch. ANNAGRET I just wanted to fuck some niggers!! RENEE I don’t normally feel sorry for Annagret. But in this case…. ALIX Well, the horse is brown so it’s kinda like fucking a black guy. RENEE No it isn’t! A group of fans laugh at Miss K, who’s getting pounded by a PIG! MISS KUNT Fitting that a man should turn into a pig! Stacy’s body jerked wildly as the pig humped away at her. The piggy’s pink dick went deeper into Miss K than any finger ever had… Miss K gritted her teeth and put on the bravest face possible. That was monumentally tough to do with degenerate males mocking her and jerking their schlongs to her plight. Finally, the dam burst in both pig human, Miss Kunt weeped as the pig came inside Kunt! ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 1 Zelda: 0 Krista: 0 Annagret: 0 Cinnamon: 0 TSM: 0 ~~~~~~~~ RENEE Oh my gosh! A pig just…it…just… ALIX Splooged in Stacy! She’s gonna have some weird looking babies! TSM, normally concerned about Stacy, could only focus on her own predicament. And what a predicament it was! Grunting, a dog pressed his hips into hers. His cock would not go any deeper as he knotted harder. Thick and hard inside her, the dog shot his seed into hers! ALIX Susan Leslie, you’re on the board! ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 1 Zelda: 0 Krista: 0 Annagret: 0 Cinnamon: 0 TSM: 1 ~~~~ RENEE I’m sure she’d rather not be. A weeping Zelda’s body jerked as a panting hyena pounded her repeatedly. At the same the damned Deviants began to laugh like that very same animal. It was enough for Zelda’s eyes to blur over with tears. RENEE We may have the sickest fans in the Galaxy. Miss Kunt screamed as a dog came inside her! Her words were unintelligible as her vagina contracted and tightened around the jizzing dog! ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 2 Zelda: 0 Krista: 0 Annagret: 0 Cinnamon: 0 TSM: 1 ~~~~ RENEE Stacy’s endured so much in life. Why does she have to go through this? The world spun around Krista as as a giant horse’s dong perverts the sex queen. Despite being a filthy old whore, Krista had never crossed the line into Beastiality. Her sore sex got no rest, the ancient snatch violated by a rampaging beast Insert samus Krista horse ALIX Good god almighty, none of our strap ons are that big! The fans, loyal Krista supporters once, jerked their beef to the sight of the rich bitch degraded and defiled. The sounds of their life long crush, being raped by the horse was more than he could handle, and it turned them on. A lot. Yes, the jizz keeps flowing as Krista’s rape seems never-ending. ALIX Krissy’s handled some really big dongs, but this is cray-cray! CINNAMON Screw me, doggy! Screw me please! A dog was more than ready to oblige as he mounted Cinnamon and began to fuck her doggystyle. His thick bulbus cock penetrated and thrusted inside her. The beast unleashed a wad of cum that was warm and soft slid in and out. ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 2 Zelda: 0 Krista: 0 Annagret: 0 Cinnamon: 1 TSM:1 CINNAMON One for the good guys! ALIX She likes this, she really, really likes this! Another dog took the place of the first between Cinnamon’s folds. Unable to resist the goofy bitch, he thrusted repeatedly. Another rocket of jizz flooded through Cinnamon’s birth canal. Cinnamon could feel the warmth within her. Tingles ran up her arm. Her hair rose on end. ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 2 Zelda: 0 Krista: 0 Annagret: 0 Cinnamon: 2 TSM:1 CINNAMON Good always triumphs! RENEE This isn’t good. At all. Though once a prostitute in the Sunrise brothel, Annagret did much worse than whoring her body for money: she allowed herself a plowing from a farm animal. This terrible snatch destruction might have been acceptable for Cinnamon, but Annagret prided herself on being an upscale type of slut. What Annagret was is spank material for millions of Deviants. One can only imagine citizens in the Ukraine perked up by the sight of the stuck up slut being demeaned by a lowly beast. ALIX We got a tie ballgame with a little over ten minutes, and plenty of balls left to be drained! RENEE If I was braver I’d yell at the time keeper like Vince McMahon at Survivor Series 97. ALIX You’re really, really lucky Krista is blowing a bull because she’d chew you out for making a wrestling reference on HER wrestling show. Zelda was in a bad way with a german shepherd humping away at her. As she opened her mouth to scream, a Doberman stuffed his pink thing into her mouth. The dogs thrust into Zelda over and over, panting and slobbering all over her. So much for the ultimate mage, what we see is nothing but a lowly fuck toy for canine’s! RENEE This isn’t worth keeping their job over. These women should run away! Krista continued to be the degenerate gutter skank bimbo we know as a black dog degraded her for our filthy pleasure. It’s shocking that this worthless skank isn’t in a trailer park doing this for a six pack of Coors Light. Instead she’s doing it for the pleasure of stroking and laughing audience…. KRISTA Oh shit! I think it’s gona cum! Don’t you fucking dare cum inside me! The dog didn’t listen to the pathetic orders. And why should it? It was clear the dog was the superior being. It thrusted deep down in her sex and exploded. Doggy cum filled her inner being as tears sped from her blurred blue eyes. ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 2 Zelda: 0 Krista: 1 Annagret: 0 Cinnamon: 2 TSM:1 RENEE Krista is on the board but I’m sure she’d rather be anywhere else! A horse’s hooves gripped tight against the ground just as Cinnamon’s pussy gripped, which sent the beast reeling in surprise and pleasure. Female and beast quite get into it! Thrusting deep again and again, its mammoth dick bulged at the tip and began to knot. Growing in size, and length, the creature wildly thrusted into her, his dick fully penetrating the deepest parts of her sinful baby hole! CINNAMON Yes! This is AYYY-MAAAAY-ZZIIIIINNNNNG! She could feel an orgasm raging through her body as the horse continued to throb and knot inside her. While she could barely see due to the small black stars in her vision. ALIX Cinnamon is as happy as a pig in mud! RENEE You’d almost think she trained her whole life for this. Cinnamon relaxed her muscles and let the horse have his way with her. With apologies to ChubChub, Cinnamon had never felt so much animal cum flooding her canal. ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 2 Zelda: 0 Krista: 1 Annagret: 0 Cinnamon: 3 TSM:1 ALIX Cinnamon jumps to a lead and, partner, you know they’re jumping for joy back in Lovelock, Neveda. RENEE They need to jump to a psychiatrist's office! One of the pigs pressed his nose into Annagret’s pussy then immediately started to run its tongue up the full length of the leggy bitch. ANNAGRET Ewwww! Ugh! Gross me out! A warming sensation flitted up Annagret’s spine then down her arms, raising her hair on end. Grumbling her disgust, Annagret watched as a boar ran its tongue up her chest and over her her nipples. Yet all Annagret can think of is how to kill Zelda and how best to prolong her suffering. ANNAGRET You’re DEAD pig barf! The agony felt like it reached a whole new level as the Labrador entered Annagret. Legs splayed to the side, Annagret shivered in rage and disgust. But what could she do? Not an Asgard damn thing! The heat of dog’s dick reached from her fingers to the top of her blond hair. She opened her mouth to scream only to see herself filled with boar penis! “YYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans savor two animal dicks in one slut’s hole. The lab chewed on her hair spurred on by her pheromones. Yes, Annagret would blow a dog but she won’t blow a white guy go figure. Not that she had much of a choice with the rough animals pinning her down and destroying her holes with their throbbing meats. Fucking Annagret’s mouth was nothing new, but for a dog to do it brought forth a new set of tears. Her weeping only further excited the crowd who soon watched lab empty it’s seed into her throat. ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 2 Zelda: 0 Krista: 1 Annagret: 1 Cinnamon: 3 TSM:1 ALIX Times a ticking and Cinnamon has a slim lead over Stacy. RENEE Oddly enough Zelda hasn’t had any animal….animal…you know what I’m trying to say. But, Zelda might have had worse of all: a colt captured her from behind and proceeded to utterly dominate her pooper. The human turned animal ravaged Zelda’s asshole, perhaps paying her back for her magical error. The beast neighed as he pumped Zelda full of jizz, load after load after load. ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 2 Zelda: 1 Krista: 1 Annagret: 1 Cinnamon: 3 TSM:1 ZELDA This isn’t magic! This isn’t even close to magic! ANNAGRET Oh! Oh! I get it, now that things suck Zelda isn’t a mage she’s just a sweet innocent Southern girl! F-you, pig barf! RENEE At least there’s only a few minutes left. The Deviants were happy to torment TSM, their entertainment coming in the form of her blowing a horse. The smell of horse dick and saliva revolted TSM. But who the hell cares what repulses her? As you can see she’s little more than outlet for male power. The Soccer Mom waved her hand frantically, begging for help. But none would arrive as the equine monster kept up it’s frontal assault! RENEE Susan is so supportive of all girls, a real mom figure and now this happens… The pitbull behind Susan drove its cock out and went into a wild frenzy, thrusting and pumping inside her without remorse. Fans across the globe couldn’t help but want to see TSM fucked by the two beasts every day of her life! ALIX Stacy is still trailing Cinnamon by one as we wind down. And, folks, Cinnamon is a tough customer I have never in my career seen a person as dedicated to bestiality than The Spice of Life. RENEE That’s a good thing! Speaking of Lovelock, Nevada’s own, she had even more fun the Deviants. Watching a horse licking at her pussy, she felt its long tongue penetrate her hole and go deeper inside, twirling inside her walls, stroking and massaging her insides. ALIX Ya know if Toni Patricia just wanted an animal gangbang she could have asked Queen Esther to put the word out to her woodland friends. RENEE Just what we need barely legal girls getting it on with gophers and beavers. No barely legal sight here, as Krista the queen of all MILFs swallowed a dog’s head into her mouth. Ever the gutter skank, Krista sucked as hard and fast as she could. The busty whore screamed as the cock in her mouth tightened and began shooting hot cum in mher mouth. Sucking hard, she swallowed over and over with each pump of its cock. Licking the tip of the shaft, she stroked it for every last drop. Truly this woman has fallen far away from redemption. ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 2 Zelda: 1 Krista: 2 Annagret: 1 Cinnamon: 3 TSM:1 ALIX The clock is ticking, folks, and we’ve got Cinnamon ahead on Miss Kunt and Krissy. Tell me how you’re supposed to one-up a trained animal fetishist. Miss Kunt’s bulbous knockers bounced up and down with each thrust from a boar. Apparently, this boar liked the money shot and the beast exploded Miss Kunt’s gorgeous face. If her father were still alive…well he’d be stroking that All American Prick to his daughter’s humliation ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 3 Zelda: 1 Krista: 2 Annagret: 1 Cinnamon: 3 TSM:1 ALIX This might end in a tie! RENEE Hopefully it ends quickly. Krista stroked a bulldog’s cock with her hand as fast as I could as my tongue did its work. Suddenly tip exploded within my mouth, pumping its warm milking cum onto my tongue. It was the exact opposite of salty; it was sweet like honey and sugar. Two things Krista does not consume so as to maintain her rocking MILF body. ~~~~~ Score: Miss Kunt: 3 Zelda: 1 Krista: 3 Annagret: 1 Cinnamon: 3 TSM:1 ALIX Now it’s a three way tie here in the closing moments. Two pigs double teamed Annagret, the cocks ran in and out of her holes, penetrating her inner being with every thrust. Ripples of anger spread through her body as they used her for their own needs. Maybe the Goodwins might make an appearance and throw the uptight, arrogant whore into some slop! ALIX We’re in that final thirty seconds. RENEE Thank you, thank you so much for this torture being over Stacy’s body jerked wildly up and down on the rottweiler cocks as they fucked her without remorse. Others drew hand jobs from the sexisit bitch.... The beast under her suddenly tightened within her pussy. She felt an explosion within me as the cock started shooting its hot sperm inside. With every thrust, Miss K more of the cum spray into her pussy. DING DING DING LILLIAN Your winner with a total of four partners ejaculate….MISS KUUNNNNNT! “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE These poor women. These poor, poor, women. Post”match” a nervous Sara Jean eased her around the zoo to stick a microphone in Miss Kunt’s face. SARA JEAN Stacy you came out on top of a huge ordeal. Do you have anything you’d like to say to the OAOAST Galaxy MISS KUNT Ugh, my soul is ready to crumble in humiliation. But I proved one thing tonight. No man be he, human foe will ever overcome me with their degeneracy! In Kunt-Fi one never shies from the male species. This was very hard but I will not ever allow myself to be torn asunder by male degenerates. No matter what the breed! ALIX I think they did overCUM you. Hhehheheheehheeheh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2023 ***RIW Tag Team Titles: Chicks Over Black Dicks Vs The Dream Girls*** LILLIAN Ladies and Deviants, it is time to contest the RAW IS WHORE TAG TEAM TITLES! “IZZY! EB! IZZY! EB! IZZY! EB!” RENEE We know what second gen starlets the Deviants are behind! ALIX EB wishes the cute guy in the Tony The Body sweat shirt by the ramp was behind her! The Dream Girls entered to "Strut" by Emeline... I like turning heads, breaking necksHigh heels in the morningCatch your breath, break a sweatLeave the suckers snoring These saints are watching meMy sex life like TMZYou're welcome, bitch, the show is free I don't do the walk of shame, I strut (strut) RENEE Jenna took the OVARY title off Charli in our opening match. Not without controversy, but controversy follows Dreamy like- ALIX The stench of sleazy motels and Burger King patties follows her dad! RENEE It costs a lot to put Dreamy up in Lake Oswego. The champs entered to "Boys" by Charli XCX I WAS BUSY THINKING ABOUT BOYS! RENEE And the champs have paid the cost to be the boss! They’ve nearly broken up, they’ve fought off vampires, witches and social medial darlings. They’ve come out on top all the time- ALIX Which totally makes sense because Izzy’s only been cumming when she’s been on top. It’s been going on for the last two weeks. You can ask Triple Patty RENEE I think I hear Triple Patty pressing the DUMP button. Referee Clem V was on his game as he patted down all the girl’s for weapons, But Isabella got a bit confused…. ISABELLA Your turn! ALIX Good job, Izzy! Make sure he has his prescription glasses and not the readers from CVS. But Dreamy pounced on Izzy, attacking her with clubbing forearms. Izzy couldn’t even fight back and Dreamy hit her trademark inverted DDT! DREAMY Dreamy, Dreamy, at last you have arrived! “WE WANT SANDMAN! WE WANT SANDMAN! WE WANT SANDMAN!” RENEE I don’t think Dreamy is headed for the Met Opera. Dreamt went to the second rope and came down to drop the fist on Izzy! Cover…. ONE! Easy Kickout! Dreamy lifted Izzy onto her shoulders and brought her close to Tabby Cat, who sport a mischievous grin. TABITHA Bad Little Latina! ISABELLA But I told Santa I’m a good girl! RENEE She still believes in Santa? ALIX Uh, who doesn’t? Dreamy deposited Isabella on her rump in the heels corner and then tagged in Tabitha. Showing some toughness, Isabella fought to her feet and ended up dropping Tabitha with a dropsault! ISABELLA This is for all the ladies who wanna be me and all the men who came to see me! Are you ready for the grind? TABITHA That’s my movMMPH! Tabitha was STFU by Isabella dropping her spicy South of the Border muff onto her face! ALIX Had a taste of that myself before the show, I did. RENEE I love her we admit to incest so casually on this show. Pin counted by Referee Clem V… ONE! An easy kickout by Tabitha. Isabella sprung off the top rope for a cross body only to land in Tabitha’s arms! The Hollywood, CA native foisted the other California native into the air for a delayed press! Finally, after twenty seconds, Tabitha threw Izzy down with the Tabby Cat Press Slam! That deserved a flexing, sure to please our muscle fetishists! TABITHA I’m done with you, Isabella. You can tag in Eponine now, thank you so much. RENEE That fake politeness gets on my nerves. ALIX I was so just about to say Tabitha is a really nice girl she must be Tim Cash’s kid! Eponine took the tag from Isabella, scowling as she entered the ring. Sadly, Eponine hadn’t a moment to prepare herself as Tabitha bum-rushed her! Nothing bummy about Tabitha’s offense as she swiftly sent Eponine crashing to the canvas with a side belly to belly! Cover… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Tabitha hauled Eponine off the mat and then roughly tossed her over the ropes nearest Dreamy! The American Wet Dream was quick to pounce, stomping away at EB. But when Dreamy tried to whip her into the ropes, the Windsor, England native reversed it with a short arm elbow strike! This left Dreamy dizzy and allowed Eponine to escape into the ring. RENEE Disaster flirted with EB but EB didn’t flirt back. ALIX Eponine’s waaaaaaaaay too shy to flirt with anyone, except the guys in the fantasies she writes in her dream journals. Don’t tell her I read it, pretty pretty please! Eponine headed back into the ring to dodge a lariat from Tabitha. The Babe thought he might catch EB with a discus big boot, but EB caught her with a dragon screw! The champ tried to turn that into a single leg crab, but Tabitha used her strength to push EB into the ropes. Blind tag by Isabella! RENEE There’s something about a blind tag in a match with a nearly blind referee that’s a little offensive. Isabella sprung into the ring and hit a springboard dropkick that left Tabitha woozy on her feet. That left Eponine to level Tabitha with a WINDSOR SIDE KICK! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Cover…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! No! Shoulder up! Isabella went up top and came down upon Tabitha with double stomp! Latina XXXtrema then went for a standing moonsault only for Tabitha to get her knees up! As Isabella winced, Tabitha tagged in The American Wet Dream! The Dreamster came in licking her lips… “DREAMY EATS DIRTY ASS! DREAMY EATS DIRTY ASS! DREAMY EATS DIRTY ASS!” Pissed, Dreamy took a swing at the closet person she could and nearly rocked a glasses-fumbling Buzzlefoxxer! RENEE Good thing Clem was playing with his glasses. Dreamy almost got her team DQ’ed! Dreamy went around for Isbaella who dropped her Oregon raised for with a toe hold. This left Dreamy on all fours, which wouldn’t have been so bad, if Clem didn’t mistake her rainbow colored tights for a puddle and went to search for his misplaced glasses in her uhhh…..you’ll see! ALIX Awww yeah! Get it, you old Buzzle Fox! Whoooo baby! Dreamy scurried away and tagged in Tabitha, her shame too much to bear. RENEE Second time we’re seeing Tabitha in this match. Tabitha wailed away at Isabella with overhand chops until Isabella pinched Tabitha on the nose! TABITHA Owww! ALIX Now who’s a bad Latina? Isabella sprung off the ropes and connected with that crossbody block! Cover… ONE! TWO! Tabitha pressed Isabella away! Latina XXXtrema was fast to pounce on Tabitha. Fast but her usual stupid self as she hooked Tabitha into a waistlock. Why stupid? Because Tabitha effortlessly broke the grasp. Izzy paid for her dumbness as Tabitha promptly threw her down with a powerbomb! RENEE Grand Theft Auto! TABITHA Allow me to show you how to grind, bad girl. It will be your pleasure! “YYYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX 8.5. RENEE What rating does Isabella get? ALIX 15.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999991! Tabitha dropped down for the pin….only for Isabella to reverse it! ONE! TWO! Kickout! Both girls hurried to their feet with Tabitha scoring with a knee to the gut. The Babe dragged Isabella to the Dream Girl corner and tagged in The American Wet Dream. With The Babe holding Izzy in place, Dreamy went off the second rope and drove a fist into Isabella’s ribs! RENEE The longer the AWO drags the mystery of Tabitha’s parentage the more nutty the theories can get. ALIX What if she’s a product of MARV, Jamie Dundee and Farooq? RENEE See? Dreamy hooked Tabitha’s arms and began the slow process of twisting her around… RENEE Dreamy looking for the Unprettier! Another AWO title win? But Latina XXXtrema reversed it into a backslide pin… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Dreamy escaped the pin! As Dreamy lay disoriented, Isabella tagged in Eponine! “E-B! E-B! E-B!” RENEE No question who Eponine’s parents are! She’s a Black all the way. ALIX Woah, woah, woah, “a Black?” Talk about racist! RENEE Not her race. Her last name! Dreamy took a swing at Eponine that got ducked! Eponine swung behind Dreamy and hooked in a rear waistlock. Hoping to escape, Dreamy ran to the ropes with Eponine on her. All that lead to was Eponine dragging Dreamy down with a pin! ONE! TWO! Dreamy reversed the pin! ONE! TWO! Eponine reversed the reversal! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO! Dreamy escaped and dove to tag in Tabitha! ALIX Da Dreamster got out of there like Sandman got out of the thought of wearing clean clothes to work. Like, he sooooo lived the life of a bum. RENEE It costs a lot to put a daughter up in Lake Oswego, Oregon, and send her to private schools all her life. Tabitha launched a big boot at Eponine! But Eponine caught the leg and spun Tabitha around in a dizzying 360. Tabby Cat was already seeing stars when EB hit her with a big time stunner! “YYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIXBlackout! Blackout! By god a Blackout! RENEE And not the kind Annagret likes. But, Dreamy snuck behind Eponine and hit her with an UNPRETTIER!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!” ALIX That daughter of a bitch! And trust me her mom is a big bitch. An even bigger bitch than The Doll. RENEE That’s a big bitch. Pained, both blond babes lingered on the mat. The fans rooted for Eponine, ushering on the one talented girl in the match. But the all looks and some brawn Tabitha took advantage of the Unprettier and laid atop EB for a pin… ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! NO! Eponine got the shoulder up! Chinlock by Tabitha, as when one lacks talent, go for a rest hold! Tabitha sure looks good with the chinlock in though. See? Who needs talent when you look like that? But you need talent when dealing with Eponine as the crafty Brit fought to her feet. Before Tabitha knew it, Eponine threw her down with a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! RENEE That’s a move you don’t see on Raw Is Whore! ALIX Eponine’s moveset has a moveset! EB was suffering though and couldn’t capitalize. Instead, she writhed on the mat next to Tabitha. ISEABELLA Come on, Eponine! I can help! Do it for cute boys everywhere! EPONINEUrgggh, cute…boys? WHERE! Eponine kipped up at the thought of cute boys. EPONINE Cute boys? Cute boys? Did someone say CUTE BOYS? While Eponine’s head swiveled for cuties, Isabella made the tag! “LATINA! LATINA! LATINA!” Isabella slung herself into the ring and hammered Tabitha with a spear! Must wrestlers would proceed to do more damage to their foe. But Izzy was a skank before she was a wrestler. And as real recognizes real, a skank recognizes a skank. And Isabella recognizes Tabitha skantiude with a taste testing… It certainly comes as no surprise to see Isabella behaving like this, for back in ancient Mexico it was quite common for the she-beasts to graze around topless with their flapjack boobies out flapping in the breeze! EPONINE Izzy, focus on something besides girls! RENEE That seems like a hypocritical comment coming from Eponine. Isabella instead focused on her cute boots, which she just so happened to plant into Tabitha’s guts. Latina XXXtrema immediately sought out her sunset flip pile driver finisher, but Tabitha used her muscle to toss her aside. Still, Isabella scored by hitting a Zig Zag on Tabitha! RENEE The Sweetie! ALIX A Spezia family special! Cover…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO!! CROWD THREE!! NO!!! DREAMY BROKE UP THE PIN! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” DREAMY Shut up! You don’t know how to count! RENEE If Dream Girls join Jenna as champions we can look to that moment as a big reason. Dreamy battered Isabella with body blows until she was weakened enough to begin twisting about for the Unprettier. But Eponine saved the day and yanked Isabella free! Together they joined in throwing Dreamy over the ropes! “TAKE OUT THE TRASH! TAKE OUT THE TRASH! TAKE OUT THE TRASH!” RENEE Dreamy is from Lake Oswego, Oregon so that’s the best trash heap I’ve ever heard of. Isabella turned out aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand ate a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER!!!!! “OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE I’ve only seen one man throw a spinebuster like that….. Dreamy yanked Eponine out the ring as Tabitha laid atop Isabella for the pin…. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! DING DING DING ALIX Awwwww shucks! WINNERS AND NEW CHAMPIONS: THE DREAM GIRLS!!!!!!!!! RENEE The AWO continues their bumpy victory road! These matches aren’t easy but the second gen talent gets it done. This time they do it against fellow second gen talent. Post-match the champions had SUMTHIN 2 SEY! TABITHA Thank you, thank you! I’d like to, if I can, dedicate this victory to my sweet pa-pa, my shining light, his name is- DREAMY I’m not dedicating this my old man! Oh no! He’s a bum! I’m dedicating this one to the number one person in my life….ME, THE ALL AMERICAN WET DREAM! Dreamy, Dreamy, at last YOU ARE A CHAMPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNN! Play some Queen for The Dreamster and her Boomer fans! RENEE Groan. DREAMY Awww yeah! Suck it, OAOAST, The Dream Girls are queens of the world! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2023 *** Wal-Mart Parking Lot Brawl: The Mega Hotties & The Freakazoids vs. The Nasty Boyds & The Midnight Foxes *** SECURITY CAM VIDEO provided the visuals for the first — and likely last — of its kind match fought on location before rambunctious OAOAST deviants and bewildered shoppers alike in the parking lot of an undisclosed Wal-Mart. A bout that began with near vehicular homicide as the Nasty Boyds attempted to make roadkill of Sammi Cayley, Brea Brea, Bobbi Cheesecake and December Belle behind the wheel of a HEARSE! RENEEUsually a match opens with a lockup, not someone trying to get locked up! The failed hit-and-run led to a CASKET being shoved out the back door by REFEREE NERDREGARD to slow the angry quartet (all participants clad in street wear suited to their personalities). ALIXIs this what happens to atheists? You don’t crossover to heaven or hell but a Wal-Mart parking lot? The casket opened and up sat Ruby of the Midnight Foxes twirling her hands as if to cast a spell, only for tag partner Cali to sneak up on the fan favs and blow GLITTER in their faces, which she blissfully celebrated while her teammates launched an offensive. The smell of exhaust from the nearby Murphy USA gas station was offset by an odorous emission of a different kind as the male-dominated crowd honked more than just the horns of their vehicles over Cali’s wardrobe choice. But the pounding of flesh (a sound that became familiar as Wal-Mart radio on this night) wasn’t limited to self-gratification, something Cali learned the hard way beaten with a FUNERAL WREATH! RENEEBobbi Cheesecake’s had enough! ALIXWords you’d never hear Jade say at the dinner table! Asserting himself as an impromptu guest referee, Nerdregard had the gall to berate Bobbi for her actions in an anything goes parking lot brawl! Of course Nerdregard turned a blind eye when the violence favored his charges, but he couldn’t stop everything, like a CUP that happened to be FULL OF PISS that Sammi used on Britt Boyd! If that weren’t nasty enough, sister Nikki wrung and then swallowed said content! BREAEww! The Freakazoids echoed their partner’s sentiments before being jumped by the Midnight Foxes. After a double body slam left December stretched out on the hood of a car, a slob of a HEARSE DRIVER ran onto the scene carrying a bag of McDonald’s and milkshake. (But hey, the guy did try making his meal a little healthier including a side salad!) RENEEYou can add operating a stolen vehicle to the list of charges the Boyds have racked up this evening! Fortunately for the driver he didn’t run into the Boyds, who were engaged in a bowling-shoe ugly affair with the Mega Hotties. Unfortunately he got too near Ruby who had no time for his whining. She kneed the slob in the balls and then sent his chicken nuggets and fries airborne slapping him around! Even more amazingly... this aroused December! As luck would have it, December’s shirt wasn’t just a fashion statement but a way of life. She took care of Ruby, then made out with the slob! HONK! HONK! HONK! Living vicariously through the slob, the deviants got their jollies seeing December play tonsil hockey with one of their kind. But the Boyds threw cold water all over dicks worldwide turning their attack on the Freakazoids. Unaccustomed to the Boyds rough style the Freakazoids found themselves overwhelmed. The pair took a special liking to sweet Bobbi Cheesecake, each giving her a KISS OF DEATH~! Just when all seemed lost the CASKET again reopened and this time it was BIG PAPA THRUST who sat up! He had one question for the ladies: BIG PAPA THRUSTYou gonna suck my dick?! THE BOYDS... RUBYNo. CALIMaybe! RUBY😐 BPT yanked Cali inside the casket which closed on its own! She eventually emerged, hair disheveled and sore in all the right places! It wasn’t them only hot load Cali would receive, as bad timing led to Ruby blowing a FIREBALL into her partner’s chest using a homeless person’s BOTTLE OF ALCOHOL!!! Deviants raced to the recuse, filling bottles like some kinked version of a collection plate with fluids of *ahem* various sources so Cali could soothe her burning chest! December then school girl’d Cali for what should’ve been a sure 1-2-3, except Referee Nerdregard intervened again. Only this time he was confronted by BPT who laid him out with a clothesline, followed by a flex and elbow drop! But while BPT laid the verbal smack down afterward, Ruby rammed a shopping chart into the Freakazoids and hurled them into the nearby cart returner! When Brea came to their defense Britt broke a senior citizen’s CANE over her head! Something Sammi didn’t see in time to prevent the 1-2-3 as she was occupied with Nikki. Winners: The Nasty Boyds & The Midnight Foxes, via pinfall. Post-match the Boyds dragged away Nerdregard’s dead ass while Cali sought more healing fluids, which deviants were all too happy to volunteer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2023 ***LeBrenda James Vs Jade Rodez-Duncan*** LILLIAN The following is a singles contest…. MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE CHAMPIONS!! “BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ALIX Listen to the heat! The intensity is destroying every human, every beating heart in sight! RENEE She is getting booed louder than usual. The less than beloved LeBrenda James entered to “Champions” by Ron Artest….. LILLIAN Now making her way to the ring, she hails from Akron, Ohio, she is “THE GREAT BLACK HOPE” LEBENDA JAAAAAMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE To be fair I can see why the crowd is hostile to LeBrenda. She is feuding with one of our most popular girls , and caused her to choke on a hot dog. I don’t know what else LeBrenda can do worse besides throwing away Jade’s dad’s ashes. ALIX Talking about Dario Rodez who was a lot cooler than Leon! Jade entered to Twerkulator by The City Girls It's time for the twerkulator It's time for the twerkulator I'ma shake what my mama gave me I'ma shake my money-maker It's time for the twerkulator It's time for the twerkulator It's time for the twerkulator It's time for the twerkulator (ayy) LILLIAN And her opponent…she is from Los Angeles, California by way of Grand Rapids, Michigan, she is “THE BOOTY SOLDIER” JAAAAADE ROOODDEZZ DUNNNNNCAAAANNNNN!! “YYYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX You better run for cover, LeBrenda James, because Sowee is coming for you!!!! RENEE Jade’s beaten some tough competition at Anglemania including Malaysia, Melissa, Slaughterhouse- ALIX The burger people! Referee Titania didn’t even get to the ring the bell as LADYBIRD JONES bounded into the ring and attacked Jade! ALIX That’s fundamentally fucked up! LeBrenda clapped her hands as Ladybird slapped around The Booty Soldier. But, when LadyB tried to lift Jade for a scoop slam… LADYBIRD Hhheheheehehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvy! JADE You’re a division 1 athlete, Ladybird! But you wanna see how hefty this white girl gets? Let’s get heavy! Jade leveled Ladybird with a lariat, which would be bad enough. Buuuuutttt…… RENEE She’s gonna face sit Ladybird! ALIX Yowzers! Maya’s the only one brave enough I know who lets that happen! Jade hovered over a dizzied Ladybird and dropped the BIG BADA BOOM CRRRRUUUUNNNCH! LEBRENDA Daaaaaaaayyyyuuuum! ALIX Somewhere there’s some bozo saying they know how to take moves. How do you take a 187 pound woman sitting on your face, damn it? LeBrenda, as you could guess, was less than sympathetic to Ladybird’s wounds. As Titania helped LadyB out of the ring, LeBrenda went for a vertical suplex! Nicely laid, and then a pin! LEBRENDA Hurry and count, wolfie D! RENEE Uh, she can’t count because your friend got her face sat on! LEBRENDA Does that look like a LeBrenda problem? The point became moot as Jade shoved her rival off her portly body. LeBrenda stayed on Jadeycakes, smashing her with knife edge chops. Yes they found the mark, on big jiggly white tits that seemed to easily absorb the blow. ALIX Lot to give in those boobie bombs of Jade as she didn’t go for the deluxe package at the doctor. Let’s see what it looks like from Snickers slow mo cam RENEE It’s not a Snickers Slo Mo Cam, guys. Alix is just eating a Snickers. Little Miss California shot LeBrenda into the corner and then hit the double knee strike Uncle Leon made famous. But, helpful to the end, Ladybird rose onto the apron. And then promptly got dropkicked back down! RENEE If you like agility, if you like speed, well Jade isn’t gonna be your cup of tea. LeBrenda as per usual gave no fucks about LadyB and went to attacking Jade with boots to the stomach. She used one too many boots as Jade caught her foot. LEBRENDA Let my shoes go! I can still return them within three days! RENEE That’s disturbingly cheap. Jade spun her rival around and then clocked her with a lethal enziguri! RENEEE!Ziguri! Cover… ONE! TWO! Kickout by LeBrenda! The Booty Soldider sent the one-woman nation of domination into the corner, looking again for the Rodez double knees. But this time LeBrenda dove through the ropes and slow-moving Jade smashed into the ring posts! RENEE Jade just couldn’t course correct in time. ALIX Krista says it’s very hard to alter the trajectory of a Ford Focus going five miles an hour. RENEE She’s a great mom. LeBrenda yanked Jade out of the ring, right next to a weeping and wailing Ladybird. Again no one cared about LadyBird, instead, we watched LeBrenda pitch her rival into the ring steps! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!” One of the camera man who’s a bit of a pain fetishist made certain to get a good glimpse of Jade’s suffering… What relives pain better than pleasure! “SOWEE! SOWEE! SOWEE!” RENEE The Deviants prefer their white trash at the top of the heap. LeBrenda interrupted Titania’s count, sliding into the ring with an eye roll. ALIX Technical! T her up! RENEE LeBrenda like LeBron wants the refs on her side. ALIX Titania is part werewolf so roly-poly with the tricks, sister, and LeBrenda will rub your tummy. Actually, LeBrenda hooked Jade, looking to powerslam her on the LED ramp. But the Nubian babe couldn’t lift this garbage bag JADE I’m starting to get offended. RENEE Only now?! ALIX Jadeycakes is like a good KFC bucket. Thick skin! Jade turned the tables on LeBrenda and powerslammed Akron’s sexiest onto the glowing ramp. Fans hollered their approval for Jade’s display of might. But one fan, a fellow chubby white, caught Jade’s attention with a “WILL TWERK FOR FOOD” sign. RENEE Has the economy gotten that bad? ALIX Trading booty for food is how my dad gets by every day Someone actually hooked Jade up with the concessions….. RENEE I know I’m stating the obvious but she has no shame. But Jade couldn’t twerk as she had to deal with an oncoming LeBrenda. BOOM, Jade rocked LeBron’s sluttiest groupie with a lariat. RENEE Let’s not forget it was LeBrenda’s attack on an eating Jade that caused Jade to choke. ALIX And get saved by a hunky doctor! LeBrenda painfully rolled into the ring finding Titania made good a shield as any. TITANIA So I’m ok to stop you from getting pummeled but I’m not ok to officiate your match? LEBRENDA Now you got it! Jade entered the battleground ready to rumble. But crafty LeBrenda shoved the Nerdly official into Jade! JADE Mmmmm blond via RedGIFs “OINK! OINK! OINK!” ALIX I’ll tell you what the garden has never been electrified like this! RENEE Well, Joey Crawford isn’t kissing RJ Barrett. LeBrenda, sneaky as ever, hauled Jade down with a school girl! Titania was a true professional and sighed as she made the count…. ONE! TWO! Jade popped out the pin! LeBrenda launched herself off the ropes, returning to fire off a leaping tomahawk chop! RENEE Looking for Slam Dunk? But Jade slid out the way! RENEE I think LeBrenda got too much air time and that gave Jade enough time to move. LeBrenda was suddenly caught by Jade from behind and brought down with a reverse x-factor! “YYYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Jade getting From Her Mama! ALIX She sure is! RENEE No, not like that, Alix. The cover…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!!! NO! LEBRENDA WITH THE KICKOUT! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” Jade let the crowd do the arguing for her, instead deciding to take her fat ass to the top turnbuckle! RENEE Will pigs fly in New York City? “LET’S SEE SOME ASS, FATSO!” a fan in vintage Black T sweatshirt shouted. JADE I’ll give you ass for days! RENEE I’m not sure Jade should be wasting time up there! Jade finally came flying off the top rope with a knee drop! But LeBrenda rolled out the way at the last possible millisecond! That left Jade to crash knees first into the unforgiving mat. ALIX Hmmmm. Maybe Renee knows what she’s talking about. Jade grimaced in pain, but still made the struggle upright. Little good that did her as LeBrenda popped off with a dropsault! RENEE The Fadeaway Dropsault! LEBRENDA Yo! Get my Swag Spray, lemme get right? RENEE Swag spray? ALIX Hheheheh that’s what she calls her girl cream. RENEE I don’t think that’s what it is! Ladybird, valiantly returned to the fold to pass LeBrenda a spray bottle. Time to leave them white girls alone and get down some black bitch goodness as LeBrenda showed out for all the ghetto ass hoes… via GIPHY ALIX Extra points for LeBrenda being lightskin. RENEE Don’t say that! Now LeBrenda loaded up the swag spray, ready to use the bottle on a rising Jade! But Titania interjected and ripped the bottle out of LeBrenda’s hands! RENEE That’s our Head Offical! Jade swung behind her foe, ready to bring her down with the reverse x-factor! RENEE LeBrenda’s in trouble! Instead, LeBrenda elbowed her way to freedom! The Great Black Hope then bounced off the ropes, throwing out the lethal Slam Dunk! But she wasn’t ready for Jade to tear through her with a spear! RENEE BOAR! BOAR! BOAR! JADE BOOTY TIME~! “YYYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” via GIPHY “SOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” the crowd whistles. ALIX These folks are happier than a pig in mud! Jade flipped back over, only for LeBrenda to roll to her side. Luckily, The Booty Soldier landed on her heels. LeBrenda wasn’t expecting this and was soon brought down by a reverse x-factor! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE She’s Still Getting It From Her Mama! ALIX Mama loves giving it to her! The cover… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DIN DINGGGG Winner: Jade Rodez Duncan, via pinfall RENEE A class win for a girl who has none! Nice one, Jade! The crowd oinks, many even have fake pig noses. Jade indulges their Deviance, shaking her fat fucking ass. If you haven’t came yet to this big sloppy bitch do it soon! ALIX Shake that ass! Good damn it, work it, you freak, you white trash whore! Oh hell yeah! RENEE I think Alix’s JRis Machine is malfunctioning. We’ll see what kind of set back this is if any for LeBrenda James. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2023 Just follow my shadow, babyHold on to my hand, I know you wannaJust follow my shadow into the nightOoh Just follow my shadow, babyLet go of the past, you know you wannaJust follow my shadow, baby, tonightOoh OohJust follow my shadowOohOoh via GIPHY RENEE Dreamy debut ed on a war is Raw Is Whore with a powerful message: inflation isn’t your biggest problem, voter fraud isn’t your biggest problem, The AWO is your biggest problem Jenny died of suicide With a candle burning in her eye But on my tombstone when I go Just put "Death by rock and roll" LILLIAN The following is the THIRD and FINAL AWO challenge match! Now making her way to the ring from V’al D’or, Quebec, Canada she is…..”THE CELESTIAL CUM CRAVER” ADELPHE SAINT NERDREGARD!!!!! “YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Adelphe is our last line of defense, they took the OVARY title, and they snatched the tag team straps. I didn’t like the red head powerpuff girl but I’ll root for this read head Nerdly anyday! LILLIAN And her opponent….she is the first Olympic gold medalist in OAOAST history, she is the undisputed leader of the AWO, I give you “THEEE STALLION,” “The Angleslut, I give you AAAAANNGGGGIE SAAAAAAULLLLLLt! RENEE Adelphe is a very calm girl, but we know what Angleslut did to Pierette’s ankle ALIX CRUNCH! Crack! RENEE Adelphe isn’t just standing up for her family. She’s standing up for all of us. Angleslut waved on her foe in her usual cute way… RENEE If only her personality matched her looks. Adelphe came with it, locking up with AS. The two tussled and tangled until they brought themselves to the ground. Our perverted camera man was on his job for this scene… .”As a bitch who likes to fuck ALIX Folks, TV doesn’t do Adelphe’s ass justice. It’s one of the tightest in the world and you gotta see it LIVE! Angleslut used her strength to drag her foe upright. Yet, Adelphe quickly changed to snatching her rival into a leg lock. RENEE Angleslut broke Pierette’s leg and I think it’s safe to say Adelphe wants revenge. Referee Rikishi kept asking AS if she wished to give up. Of course the answer was no. With all her might, AS dragged her sexy body to the ropes for a break. Back on her feet, Angleslut fired off a wave of punches until she weakend Adelphe enough to seize an arm bar. Some good that did as Adelphe countered with a Japanese arm drag RENEE So fat Adelphe is out wrestling Thee Stallion Knowing that vexing fact, Angleslaut hurriedly bounced off the ropes with a hand spring elbow effort! Just an effort: Adelphe spin kicked Angleslut’s legs! That was enough of that shit for the Pittsburgh native, the AWO leader painfully bailing to the outside. ADELPHE Oh, Angleslut, the equinox of Uranus is calling… I ALIX Fun fact: that’s the best way to attract the Aryan Mafia on the prison yard. ANGLESLUT Don’t you put that ginger evil on me! AS got more than ginger evil, she got the ginger herself as The Celestial Cum Craver slammed into her with a Plancha! RENEE Don’t call her an inferior Nerdly, Angie. Angleslut carries on the pride of the Nerdly family. Back in the ring, Rikishi scored Adelphe’s cover… ONE! Shoulder up! Adelphe left Angie to grouse in pain as she carried her psychedelic boots to the top turnbuckle. Madison Square Gardem roared their heavy approval, fully on Adelphe’s side. But Angiel crashed the party; she ran up the turnbuckle and threw Adelphe across the ring with an arm drag! RENEE Just like dad! The cover…. ONE! TWO! Adelphe kicksout! “FUCK YEAH GINGERS! FUCK YEAH GINGERS! FUCK YEAH GINGERS!” ADELPHE I’m not getting upstaged by a little redhead retard! Dreamy apply the ginger filter! RENEE Ginger filter? via RedGIFs ALIX Damn it, Angie, this is America, we’re from the Bitchban not the Taliban let us see some ginger titties! Adelphe raised her foe upright and sent her shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Poor Adelphe wailed in pain. A situation that only got worse thanks to Angleslut executing a single arm DDT! ANGLESLUT Hit my music! Jenny died of suicide With a candle burning in her eye But on my tombstone when I go Just put "Death by rock and roll" RENEE I get it. As long as your hair color isn’t red you can show off that banging body until the Deviants are content. ADELPHE Evil begone! Boom! Adelphe walloped Angie with her good arm. Alas she didn’t do enough damage as Thee Stallion brought her down with a single arm tornado DDT on the afflicted arm. That move was immediately transitioned to a fujiawara armbar! RENEE That’s the kind of technical prowress that could give Eponine Black a run for her money. “WE LOVE GINGERS! WE LOVE GINGERS! WE LOVE GINGERS!” The call off the crowd motivated the French Canadian Hottie, she used her legs to kick the equestrian dressage gold medalist away. Still, AS maintained control and forced her redheaded foe onto the top turnbuckle. But when AS went to climb up top, Adelphe blasted her with a head butt! “OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Angie staggered backwards and was soon rocked by a missile dropkick from The Celestial Cum Craver! RENEE You can’t prepare for that one riding a horse. ALIX Maybe if you touch it in it’s no-no spot. Adelphe dove atop Angleslut for the cover…. ONE! TWO! A kickout! Adelphe summoned the might of the Celestial Mother and surged at a rising AS with a…. “LUMINARY UPPPERCUT!” But, Thee Stallion twisted behind her charging for to bring her down for a backslide pin! ONE! TWO! Adelphe escaped the pin! The French Canadian rose slower, allowing Angie to overwhelm her with knife edge chops. Having weakened her foe, Angleslut dumped her ass first into the corner. In preparation for what? I ALIX She’s gonna give her face full of mare! But Adelphe exploded forward and and blasted Angie with a corckscrew elbow strike! So dazed, Thee Stallion couldn’t prevent Adelphe from sitting her in the corner ADELPHE Unleashing my scared hole! Adelphe ran forward and hit…. “R-I-DUB! R-I-DUB! R-I-DUB!” RENEE Triple C drives home that Grade A muff! ALIX It hits differently than when Tony Tourettes does it. RENEE Really?! Adelphe went to the top turnbuckle, there motioning for Angleslut to rise. Once the Pittsburgh native did Adelphe flew at her with an axe handle! But Angie caught the Qubecois and launched her over head with a belly to belly suplex! ADELPHE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! “BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ADELPHE You’re saying whoo, right? “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE I don’t think New York gets that loud unless Trae Young is in town. Angie grumbled her annoyance with New York, with Canadians, with gingers and with everyone as she stomped away at Adelphe. Once the ginger was sufficiently weakened, AS shot her into the ropes. Imagine Thee Stallions’ shock when Adelphe returned to hurricanrana her into a pin! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Thee Stallion escaped the pin! RENEE The AWO almost left Anglemania with a blemish on their record. Angie was upright the fatest and sent Adelphe into the corner. Shockingly, Adelphe summoned the strength to tackle a charging with a moonsault press! Another cover… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! No! Again Angleslut kicks out! RENEE What more can we see from the AWO tonight? What do they have left? Angie tried to take Adelphe by surprirse with a sudden ankle lock! But Adelphe had that move well prepared as she bucked Thee Stallion away. Angleslut bounced off the ropes directly into a…. “LUMINARY UPPERCUT!” ALIX By gawd they felt that one back at the horse stables! Cover…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!!!!! NO!! FOOT ON THE ROPES! “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” RENEE The Deviants may not like it but that’s clearly a foot on the rope situation. Adelphe sighed heavily but still made the trip back to the top rope. Camera flashes filled the stadium as the Celestial Cum Craver twirled for a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! SPLAT! And missed due to Angleslut rolling out of the way! The Gold Medalist, the daughter of our very namesake pounced like a savage beast. She hoisted the limp Nerdly cousin on her shoulder and twisted her around until she finally hit an ANGLESLAM! ALIX My gawd was that some serious ass impact! The cover…. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING WINNER: AngleSlut, via pinfall RENEE The AWO goes 3 and 0 in their first Anglemania! Could their dad’s have done it any better! Not if you ask Angie who is all celebration…. RENEEE If the AWO had momentum coming into Anglemanina, then I shudder to think what they have now. The OVARY title, the tag titles and a victorious leader. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2023 Lillian standss on a very unique entrance stage. Unique because it featuresa stripper pole, lounge chair and a [pp; LILLIAN Ladies and Deviants, it is time for a special Anglemania treat! ALIX Ally Cat loves treats! LILLIAN It is time for Jose Cantu-Si’s HOT BODY CONTEST! “R-I-DUB! R-I-DUB! R-I-DUB!” “Way 2 Sexy” by Drake hits and hits hard…. I'm too sexy for my shirt Too sexy for my shirt So sexy, it hurts I'm too sexy for Milan Too sexy for Milan New York or Japan Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa I'm too sexy for this syrup Too sexy for your girl Too sexy for this world Too sexy for this ice Too sexy for that jack, yeah, yeah I'm too sexy for this chain Too sexy for your gang Too sexy for this fame, yeah, yeah I'm too sexy for the trap Too sexy for that cap Too sexy for that jack, yeah, yeah RENEE He may not be a fan favorite, or anywhere close to a fan favorite but he’s giving the Deviants just what they want! JOSE Ya know something, these days in our business it seems to be the in thing to do to cut down the fans and tell them how much you don’t like them. ALIX Oh man, you should hear Krista at the production meetings. JOSE That seems to be the trend that’s going on. But I don’t follow trends. I start them, so I give the fans a gift. A gift of Hot Bodies. RENEE Why is he acting like he didn’t set this contest up to embarrass Valencia in some way? JOSE See, I know you girls want Jose bad, but only one of you can get their hot body taken back to the five star Ritz Carlton by moi. So one thing you have to understand, ladies, is right now there is no more powerful man in this business. Because this man, Jose Cantu Si, is deciding who has the Hottest body of all! LILLIAN With that said, let’s meet contestant number one, Pipi Bigguns!!!! Hello!My Boobs, my boobsMy boobs are okMy Boobs, my boobsMy boobs are ok LILLIAN Pipi’s likes are listed as whatever Luther likes, and her dislikes are whatever Luther dislikes. Her favorite food is Luther’s favorite food, and her favorite sexual position is Luther’s favorite sexual position. ALIX Dudette, he’s just not into you Pipi may be little, but you can bust a big nut to her routine… via GIPHY via GIPHY LILLIAN Contestant number two says sex with her like white water rafting, wet, rough and bumpy, she is AMEILA VON KRUGER!!!! Disarm you with a smileAnd cut you like you want me toCut that little child Inside of me and such a part of youOoh, the years burn Ooh, the years burn ALIX Only 2XS can tame her, but she can run wild on me anyday! RENEE I bet she can. LILLIAN Our next contestant’s house is big, her car is big, and her breasts are big, DIDI BIGGUNS!!! Hello!My Boobs, my boobsMy boobs are okMy Boobs, my boobsMy boobs are ok RENEE Didi’s looking no worse for wear after Maya beat her up in the Blow In. ALIX With a body like that she’s the one wearing dudes down! LILLIAN Contestant number three is a former University of Michigan Cheerleader turned vampire who’s banned from The Big House for being a BIG WHORE, she represents WHOROS….Effie Reese!!!!!!!!!!!!!! S-P-I-R-I-T, spiritLet's hear itS-P-I-R-I-T, spiritLet's hear itLet's go RENEE With hoes like that CPA will never go broke! LILLIAN Contestant number four is known more for making war not love, but if you’re man enough than take your shot at KIKI KIX One finger and a fist I'll claw my way out of any situation I got a one, two punch I'll fight my way out of any confrontation ALIX What about you, Renee? Are you man enough for Kiki? RENEE I’m a happily married woman! LILLIAN Contestant number five is the pearl of the orient, she represents WHOROS…..HINA S-P-I-R-I-T, spiritLet's hear itS-P-I-R-I-T, spiritLet's hear itLet's go via GIPHY via GIPHY ALIX This ain’t no massage parlor skeezer, folks, you can stick your chopstick anywhere you likey! RENEE That was so offensive it’s crazy. via GIPHY LILLIAN Contestant number six returns from a year upsate, please welcome back THE BIG BOSS LADY…. See I believe in money, power, and respect.First You get the money.Then you get the muthafuckin, power.After you get the fuckin' power muthafuckas will respect you. via RedGIFs RENEE She had some work done! via RedGIFs ALIX And she sold some work too! RENEE There’s nothing sweeter than honey and there’s nothing sweeter than the honey buns of contestant number seven….HONEY DOVE! It's such a good vibrationIt's such a sweet sensationIt's such a good vibrationIt's such a sweet sensation RENEE I don’t know if Valenica will make it out here. She might have just fainted! LILLIAN Contesntant number seven is another Whoros member. She’s a vampire cheerleader from the University of Michigan, who loves tight ends and unnecessary roughness, give it up for GLASS JULIET… S-P-I-R-I-T, spiritLet's hear itS-P-I-R-I-T, spiritLet's hear itLet's go RENEE Glass held the Hard on Hoes title longer than anyone has ever hold onto a sinhles but that bikini is having a hard time keeping her covered. via RedGIFs ALIX Whoooo hoooo, lemme do the porn parody of Interview With a Vampire with Glass! via RedGIFs via RedGIFs LILLIAN And our final contestant comes from exotic, Spain. She says the Spanish make the best lovers and if you get on her good side you might learn first hand. Please welcome Valencia!! Picture you, picture me, paper doll Paper doll, paper doll, paper doll, paper doll Paper doll, paper doll, paper doll, paper doll Paper doll, paper doll, paper doll, paper doll Paper doll, paper doll, paper doll, paper doll via RedGIFs via RedGIFs ALIX Woooooah those moves! Is that what worshiping Aphrodite gets you? I’m gonna throw my Koran in the toilet pronto. via RedGIFs RENEE To be honest I think this performance is for an audience of one” Honey Dove. via RedGIFs JOSE Cut the music! I said cui the damn music! When someone says cut the music the music gets cut. VALENCIA What is this? Aphrodite will not be pleased. “WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? JOSE I’ll tell you what. I made my decision on the winner. “VALENCIA! VALENCIA! VALENCIA JOSE SHUT UP! “VALENCIA! VALENCIA! VALENCIA” JOSE The real winner is- “VALENCIA! VALENCIA! VALENCIA JOSE I said the real winner is- “VALENCIA! VALENCIA! VALENCIA JOSE I said the reall winner is…..AMELIA VON KRUGER! “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” RENEE The worst booking since the finger poke of doom. “THIS IS BULLSHIT! THAT IS BULLSHIT! THIS IS BULLSHIT!” JOSE SHUT UP! Jose continued to jaw jack with the fans as Lillian held the microphone to Amelia’s lips. AMELIA For all you fresh of the migrant boat you need to rewatch my dance again because that how shit is done in America. And no goofy god is ever gonna get you on my level so just fuck off! RENEE I think that was a shot at the Spaniard, Valencia. ALIX Only Krista is allowed to subtly bury people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 9, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2023 LILLIAN Ladies and Deviants, it is time for MAINEVENT OF THE EVENING! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAA!” LILLIAN Referreing this match will be head official Titania Nerdly Titania gives us a polite smile and courtesy nod. LILLIAN This match is a singles contest for the HARD ON HOES championshio. Introducing the challenger… Obey by Bring Me The Horizon summons Etta Kitt…. Obey We hope you have a lovely dayObey You don't want us to come out and play Away, now now There's nothing to see here It's under control We're only gambling with your soulObey Whatever you do, just don't wake up and smell the corruption LILLIAN Coming to us by way of Tulsa, Oklahoma, she is your teacher….ETTTTTAAAAA KITTTTTTTT! RENNE Class is in session! And Etta Kitt comes with a great report card. Match against Holly, A+, Match against Malaysia, A+, Match against Princess Jasmine, A+, match against Gretchen Wright, A+. She’s here to clean up Raw Is Whore and make Maya into a proper “little miss.” ALIX When you’re a Duncan gal the only thing that’s proper is your BJ techniques! Maya enters to “Pull Up” by Alizz I Don't Need A boyfriend, I just wanna... I don't need your money I already got some I should come with a warning I should come with a warning How do you pull up on a bad bitch, don't you know that I'm a bad bitch It don't matter if you mad rich Can you pull up on a bad bitch? Bad bitch like me Bad bitch like me Bad Bitch like me Bad bitch like me SO PULL UP ON ME~! LILLIAN Now making her way to the ring, from Los Angeles, California, she is THE HARD ON HOES champion, “THE FUCK SLUT FROM HELL” MAYA DUNCAN BLAAANNNCHHHAAAARRRDDDD!!! “YYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX You want Maya’s title? You come for it! You come for it! RENEE I’m worried that Atuna Pain is waiting somewhere, ready to do god knows whaty to Maya DING DING ETTA Official Titana Nerdly, I would like you to explain the rules in detail to the Little Miss. MAYA Official Titania Nerdly, I’d like for you to explain to the old fart that she’s about to get bitch slapped! Spear by Maya, like so…. Maya bounded off the ropes in a very Stone Cold like fashion and dropped a very Stone Cold like elbow onto Etta! ALIX Maya driving that elbow right into Etta’s heart, if she has one! The Fuckslut From Hell hauled Etta off the mat and then attempted to send her flying over the top! But the Oklahoma native got herself tangled in the ropes, and trapped in Maya’s evil machinations. MAYA Hmmmm what to do, what to do? It’ll take to long to get my dildo so we’ll have to go Wicked instead of Evil Angel. Puck up, teach… Maya leaned forward and lip locked with Ettta…. “THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!” MAYA Thank you, universe, for creating someone so sexy and so very luscious! TITANIA I didn’t think you liked Etta. MAYA Huh? I was talking about my self. Obvi. As for Etta, Maya booted her in the ass, untangling her from the ropes and sending the Joshi star tumbling to the outside mats. “ETTA SHIT! ETTA SHIT! ETTA SHIT!” That got Etta in an even worse mood, the vulgarity causing her to boot the ring steps. MAYA I thought the crowd might be a little shady with the whole cheering babes being boned by animals thing, but the Etta Shit chant is like serving delicious snacks at girl scout meetings! Etta returned to the ring, huffing and puffing like a big bad wolf. She raised her arms for a lockup but met only with Maya knee to the gut. The champ sent the challenger into the ropes, but the challenger finally got on the board with a simple shoulder tackle. Unfortunately for Etta, Maya kipped right up, RENEE Well, Etta isn’t packing Tabitha’s triceps. Back on her feet, Etta got her sought after lockup. Moving with veteran know how she quickly captured Maya inside a side headlock. Alas that hold didn’t last for long as Maya lifted Etta into the air and then spun, and spun, and spun, and spun and spun and dropped her with a back suplex! RENEE Etta’s world is spinning and her title hopes are diminishing. ETTA Little miss, the fun stops now. MAYA That’s cause the porn is starting Maya ripped away her always too short booty shorts to show even more of that hot 20 year old body… ALIX Etta looks like she just saw the best of Bra and Panties matches! Maya took advantage of Etta’s distraction by booting her in the ribs to double the ex teach over. Off the ropes came Maya who swiftly nailed a scissors kick! “YYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Inheritance Kick! Ever the smart one, Etta rolled out the ring lest she be pinned. This left Maya behind fuming, but ready to act. The champion soared over the ropes only for Etta to catch her in her arms. A sharp look of disdain spread across Etta’s face as she proceeded to body-slam Maya on the LED ramp! RENEE That LED ramp is becoming a serious hazard, ALIX Krista would love to ditch it, it costs 15 thousand a show to use it. Etta pushed Maya back into the ring for the cover…. ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! Maya rose upright to trade forearms with her challenger. But the Cali babe’s offense was stalled as the Tulsa native slapped on an abdominal stretch. ALIX You will have to drag Maya to the very gates of Hell and beyond to get her to submit. Etta reached backwards, giving herself leverage on the hold. But the tactic wasn’t enough as Maya hip tossed her over. Etta landed her knees, watching Maya run the ropes. When the champion returned, Etta flourished forward and hit a high knee that knocked Maya loopy! Cover… ONE! TWO! A kickout! Unable to ignore the constant jeers of the crowd, Etta jawed at them as she sent Maya into the ropes. The Oklahoma native grabbed her approaching foe, seeking out a Schoolyard (sidewalk) slam, but instead Maya reversed with a spinning head scissors! Etta was dizzy and heaving, giving Maya time to taunt her… MAYA For those who didn’t know, Miss Kitt is very sick with “Stickuptheassitis” the symptoms are severe, and the only known cure is to watch a hot babe stick her fingers in her asshole! via RedGIFs “YYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX That’s funny Krista has stickuptheassitits and she’s been watching me finger my ass for decades! ETTA Little miss! You will cease and desist at ONCE! A snorting and snarling Etta marched on Maya, who still happily fingered her crapper SLAP! Etta went right across Maya’s face with a disciplinary techqine right out of 1950’s Catholic School. But, like a Catholic priest Maya got dirty and shoved her analized fingers into Etta’s mouth! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” Etta screamed furiously as the taste of white girl ass flooded across her buds. A true wrestler, Etta did all she knew how and that was to reach for the ropes to save herself from this anal snack. Despite being just as mesmerized as all of us, Titania had the good sense to call for a break. MAYA Now Titania wants a taste! Well, it’s not so much trouble so yippiee! TITANIA I don’t really need a taste! But Titania got one; the Nerdly grandchild got a tatse of the ass that Etta hadn’t polished off… ETTA Little Miss that is enough! Etta rocked Maya with a lariat that left the champion folded like origami. With Maya still prone, Etta proceeded to drop a leg upon her! ETTA Now we will do things the Etta Kitt way! Etta lifted Maya onto her shoulders then ran about the ring. Finally, when the vet came to a stop, she drilled Maya with an Oklahoma Stampede! RENEE If that’s doing it, Etta’s way, Maya will not last much longer as champ. Etta carried Maya to the corner post where she sat the brunette babe on the top turnbuckle. This action caused the crowd to murmur with worry; worry that did not abate when Etta joined Maya up top. RENEE Maya is in big time trouble! ALIX Maya is supposed to cause trouble not be in it! Etta’s arms wrapped around Maya’s waist as the crowd screamed for Maya to fight back. There would be nothing of the sort as Etta threw Maya across the ring with a belly to belly suplex!! “OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” As Maya lay motionless on the mat, Etta hooked the leg for the pin…. ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! Etta showed no relent as she hooked Maya into a sleeper hold! ALIX Etta ain’t Dreamy but it could be night night for my fuck buddy/step daughter RENEE You admit that so openly Titania lifted the arm once, causing the deflated crowd to see it fall. The Nerdly grandchild lifted it a second time, and Maya’s hand dropped. Bu the third time? Maya held her arm up high. Etta tried to cinch in a tighter hold, but Maya managed to break free with a parade of elbows. ALIX Hahahah, little did Etta know, Maya likes being choked. Eager to stay on the offense, Etta shot Maya into the ropes. But the barely clothed Hottie used the cables as a springboard and took Etta down with a flipping neckbreaker! “YYYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE YOLO! Etta made it upright on her own power, leading her to launch a dangerous lariat. Yet, The FuckSlut From Hell ducked behind Etta and promptly hit a reverse X-Factor! “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE She got it from Jade! ALIX Who got it from her mama! Titania counted the resulting pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! MAYA Booty time! “YYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Etta isn’t gonna like this! via RedGIFs "YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" ALIX But the Deviants sure as hell are! The flip led into the cover…. CROWD ONE! CROWED TWO! CROWD THREE!! NO! A KICKOUT Maya shoved Etta into a corner and forced her to endure knife edge shops! But, Etta would return to the attack via a knee to the gut. TITANIA Get her out the corner, Etta ETTA That is MISS KITT! RENEE The longer this match goes on the more frustrated Etta becomes. Instead of leading Maya from the corner, Etta snatched hold of her arm. The challenger then shocked the NYC crowd by climbing to the top rope RENEE Is the school teacher going Old School? The crowd buzzed with alarm as Etta began WALKING THE ROPES. But anxious cries soon turned to appreciative cheers as Maya chucked Etta off the ropes and onto the ring mat! Boom! Etta felt the thud of her landing directly on the top of her head. “OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE Looks like Etta got expelled from that Old School. Though dazed and owning a headache complete with throbbing pain Etta rose to meet the “Little Miss.” That merely led Etta into Maya’s sneaker to the stomach. Doubled up in pain it wasn’t long before Maya drove Etta into the mat with a PEDIGREE! ALIX Pedigree, Pedigree, as good as my witness Maya hit Etta Kitt with the pedigree! The pivotal cover…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO!! CROWD THREE! NO! ATUNA PAIN YANKED TITANIA OUT OF THE RING! ALIX How? Someone tell me how Atuna Pain can be allowed into the arena after what she did to Maya on Raw Is Whore. Titania began to call for the bell. Yet, her sentence abruptly ended due to a clothesline to the back of the head by Atuna! RENEE Hey! Hey! MAYA Atuna, I love that you turned this shoddy sex change into positive energy. Too bad you go bye now! Maya sailed over the ropes, coming down a twenty year old bomb that slammed into Atuna’s mighty body. RENEE Maya isn’t afraid of Aruna but I think she should be. MAYAt I don't get paid enough to wade into the trans chicks in female sports debate. But I do get paid enough bop your nose! BOP! ALIX That weren’t no baby bop. Maya rolled Atuna into the ring and then took off to the ropes. The Fuckslut from Hell went flying as she leapt into the air for her leapfrog face crusher finisher. But, in an act that stunned the crowd, Atuna caught Maya’s legs. Without a moment of hesitation, Atuna decimated Maya with a powerbomb! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” Maya convulsed on the ring mat, pain written all over her grimacing face. ALIX That powerbomb came straight from Hell! Atuna scraped Maya off the mat, hissing and howling like a hyena. The animalistic woman then trapped Maya into a bear hug! Almost immediately, tears flowed from Maya’s eyes. Her legs twitched and her body grew weaker by the second. RENEE We know Etta Kitt and Atuna Pain are in league. And that alliance may have won Etta Kitt the Hard On Hoes title. Atuna snorts (sort of like Private Warhog) and casually dumped Maya onto the mat. With no time to wait, Etta sat atop Maya’s proud chest for a pin! RENEE Thankfully Titania isn’t able to make the count. Or can she? Worse for the wear, Titania made a painful, physically devastating trip into the ring. There she counted the crowd angering pin… ONE! TWO! THREE!!! ATUNA Ring the bell! Ring the fucking bell! DING DING DING Winner: AND NEW HARD ON HOES CHAMPION, Etta Kitt! RENEE This isn’t right! ALIX Everything about it is so wrong it makes my cousin Juan’s crack habit look like midnight snacking. Etta bounded out of the ring to collect her newly won title. RENEE She should not have that belt. That isn’t yours Etta! Etta did THREE full victory laps about the ring as debris rained upon her from the unfriendly Deviants. No matter, Etta returned to the ring, ordering Titania to place the belt around Etta’s waist. RENEE How can Etta be proud of this victory? Apparently, quite easily: Etta rose to the top turnbuckle to soak in this crowning moment of her long career. RENEE I feel nauseous. Speaking of throwing up,the Deviants throw garbage into the ring. Such actions hardly affect a stone faced Atuna Pain. I stay out too late Got nothing in my brain That's what people say, mmm-mmm That's what people say, mmm-mmm ALIX AWWWW YEAH SOMEONE CALLED HER MAMA! Despite being ravaged by a petting zoo, Krista arrived twirling the microphone in her hands akin to the way a cheerleader might display her baton. KRISTA Etta, Atuna, I’ve never tried crack, haven’t ever wanted to try crack, and I thought as long as I uphold my promise to avoid Alix’s family, I will never try crack. ALIX My Uncle Juan would love to meet her. KRISTA But after watching this celebration of junkies I now realize my lack of understanding of the effects of crack. Ladies admist your buffoonery and stupidity, what strikes me as most off about this whole business is that you think I’m a fellow crackhead. Because only a crackhead and derelict mother would let her kid lose like that. Now, I may not be the world’s best mother in most people’s opinion RENEE No kidding. KRISTA But most people are poorer than me, so their opinions don’t matter. And that includes you, Etta, because I expect you to introduce us to some unique rarely heard profanity in effort to make you feel smarter, and all those words will grace our ears because I am restarting this match! “YYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA! ETTANo! I won’t wrestle! KRISTA Either you wrestle or I dunno know enough about the Chinese wrestling you used to do to make a good joke, but I’ll send you back there in a cardboard box with chopsticks and fortune cookies included. RENEE We apologize to our partners at SMUSH! Etta’s anger was paltable, her eyes narrowed into devious slits, and her face wore a hue of red. She needed to lash out, and she did swinging her title belt at Titania! Luckily, Titania was able to dive bellow the attack. Unfortunately, Atuna was less than lucky, the ensuing errant blow dropping the Pennsylvania native to her knees. “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAA!”’ The Little Miss roared back into the match with a springboard corckscrew moonsault! MAYA No booty, all sault! The cover… ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! Still fresh, Etta lobbed a knee into a rising Maya’s gut. Maya staggered into Etta, who sent her into the ropes. The champion flew back faster than Etta expected and almost grounded her with a cutter. I say almost because Etta transitioned into a rear waislock. RENEEMaya’s in trouble! Etta flung Maya backwards with a German Suplex! But Maya excited the crowd by landing on her feet. She gave Etta no reprieve and crushed her insides with a leaping double stomp! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Etta rolled upright, clutching her hurt stomach. She shoved Maya backward, thinking the distance would help her. But all that did was give Maya the space to cave Etta’s skull in with a Pele Kick! “YYYYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA I’ve been talking with the school’s board of trustees, and they say you’ve been a majorly bad teacher. And we all know what happens to bad teachers… via RedGIFs ETTA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ALIX Etta can say her prayers, but right now the lord’s line is busy! Etta rolled free of Maya delightful (for the fans) spanking. Taunts and jeers rolled over Etta, leaving her hissing and seething. RENEE I don’t know if Etta is going to recover from that humiliation. Etta threw a barrage of forearms at Maya, seemingly giving the teacher the upper hand. ETTA Little Miss, you have won nothing! You are going to polish my title with that scandalous outfit of yours! This is no laughing matter for Etta who assailed Maya with overhand chops. Etta’s Irish whip got reversed, crashing Etta into the ring posts. She avoided Maya’s splash, by stumbling out the corner. She couldn’t avoid Maya for long as the Cali babe hit the ropes! Yet, Etta overturned Maya’s crossbody into a powerslam! Cover…. ONE! TWO! Kickout!!!!!!!!!!!! RENEE Does Etta have the heart to continue? What kind of letdown must the match restart be? ALIX The “Dad never came home from buying a six pack” kind of letdownn. A commotion gathered in the crowd as….DIDI BIGGUNS began barging her way pas security! RENEE Didi Bigguns? Maya embarrassed her during the Blow In but is that why she’s charging the ring? ETTA Go away, heathen! DIDI Eat crap, lady! MAYA This isn’t the blind leading the blind this is the unover leading the about to be unover. Maya banged Etta and Didi’s heads together! This was a significant blow with a loud thud; it sent Didi hurtling onto the ring mats where she wailed in pain. RENEE A meeting of the minds and not the way Etta likes. Maya leaped onto Etta’s shoulders and threw her away with a hurricanrana. The problem was that Maya threw Etta into Titania. This left the Nerdly grandchild in a renewed fog. MAYA Two ref bumps in one match? Someone’s lost in the sauce. Yikes! The reason for Maya “yikes?” ATUNA PAIN yanked her out of the ring! RENEE You had to know Atuna wouldn’t stay down for long. Atuna battered Maya with right hands; she delivered enough of them to back Maya into an international announce desk. ALIX Democratic People's Republic of Korea’s announce desk! RENEE A North Korean announce desk?! Atuna lifted Maya onto the table and began scattering monitors and wires. Maya looked to be in a miserable situation. As Etta recovered in the ring, the burly woman stashed Maya between her thighs! BAAAAAASSH! RENEE Ouch! JADE RODEZ DUNCAN WALLOPED ATUNA WITH A CHAIR TO THE BACK! RENEE Where did Jade come from? ALIX For real, for real. How do we miss someone so big? JADE The only big girl putting hands on Maya is this bitch right here! Jade tangled her hands around Atuna’s chin as Maya slid off the announce desk. From there, Jade did the unthinkable: reversed x-factor’ed Atuna through the announce desk! “YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Oh my gosh! Fans held up their phones, capturing the wreckage Jade wrought. A few in the front row posed for selfies in front of the crumbled scene. ALIX Somewhere some bozo is saying they know how to fall, how do you know how to fall through a communist party announce desk? Answer me that, damn it! Maya rolled into the ring and found herself immediately pounced upon by Etta! RENEE Atuna may be down and out, but Etta is very much alive. Etta sent Maya into the ropes and then dropped her with a Schoolyard Slam. “OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!” Into the cover…. ONE! TWO! THREE!! NO!! Etta hauled Maya upright and tucked the champion into a standing head scissors. Pedigree? Not for Maya; the brunette bitch upended Etta with a back body drop! Yet pained, Maya collapses to her knees. RENEE I think we might have seen all Maya has. And that was a lot! DIDI Bigguns brought a CHAIR into the ring and handed it over to Etta. Alas, Etta no fan of Didi’s blasted the Alabama native with the chair! ALIX Thanks for coming, Didi Bigguns! Suddenly Etta felt a sharp pressure on her back, then a sudden motion downward, and finally her face colliding with Didi’s chair! RENEE iMaya! iMaya! Maya hit that leapfrog face crusher! The cover….. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREEE!!! Winner: Maya Duncan Blanchard, via pinfall. ALIX Yes America, yes England, yes North Korea, Maya Duncan-Blanchard has said “School Is Out!!!!!” Maya was helped to her feet by a smiling, teary eyed Jade. Tonight marked the second year in a row the sisters stood with the Hard on Hoes championship. Few fans forgot that as some howling fans held up C02 signs to hail the sisters. RENEE Two Anglemania mainevents and two successful title wins for Maya Duncan Blanchard! And I have to ask will the legend of Maya eclipse the legend of Krista? Atuna dragged Etta out the ring as the latter desperately reached for both the world title and a tangle of Didi Biggun’s hair. RENEE I don’t know how Etta’s ego will take this one. She had the title won until Krista restarted the match. And I believe if she hadn’t been messing around with Didi Bigguns we’d be whining about Etta Kitt as champion. ALIX If a 20 year vet and international legend can’t beat Maya by gawd who can? Since Krista’s in charge, Maya MUST POSE, and pose our barely legal slut does… via RedGIFs ALIX There was hell raised by The Fuck Slut from Hell tonight and by god there will be hell raised by The Fuck Slut From Hell on Raw Is Whore! And standing in a luxury box applauding this victory? The aWo FADE OUT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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