Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PORN AND SPORTS AND ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS RAW IS WHORE! RENEE This is Raw Is Whore, from Toni Patrica's lust consumed Toy Box in Los Angeles, California! You all know me, Renee Young and of course you know four time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Alix Maria Spezia. ALIX Why did they let me be Heavyweight Champion when I weigh like 125 pounds? And Colin was 200 pounds? And Tyler was 198 and Blaine was 190. And- REENE You know what? If you wanna break kayfabe that's fine. Do that. I'm going to be here on the road to Anglemania 20 and getting ready for Taco Duelsday. And I'm going to be here watching Fire & Ice kick some butt! ALIX Heh. Renee is a wrestling nerd. She’s a loser. Heh. RENEE Damn you. ***Fire and Ice Vs Jobette Burr and Little Bertha*** ALIX Folks, hold onto your babyoil and tissues because Taco Duelsday features the bitchy and hot sister duo of Fire & Ice facing maybe best friends, one likes the other a lot more than the other likes the one, Miss Kunt and Zelda Bazil! RENEE And Fire and Ice have decided to “graciouslly” give us a demonstration of their power against a Fluffer named Lilttle Bertha and the cult favorite recovering alcoholic, Jobette Burr. Don’t blink, guys, or this match might be over. ALIX Like Jobette’s parental rights! RENEE Clever! But mean. But clever. Jobette offered Annagret a slip of paper and a pen… ANNAGRET Eww, what’s this? Writing is for losers. JOBETTE I need a witness to sign that I’m at work.For the staff at the Halfway House. Instead of a signature, Annagret decked Jobette with a trademark BIG BOOT! ALIX By gawd, she sent that with the force of Zeus and Cronos! RENEE Wrong religion. Entirely. Ever the mean one, Annagret stuffed the paper in Jobette’s mouth..then face scrapped her! ALIX Damn it, those are the conditions of her parole! For her part, Cinnamon mercilessly beat on Jobette and Lil Lilly…at the same time. Try as they might, the overmatched enhancement talent had no answer for Fire and Ice! To no one’s shock, the supernatural duo finished off their foes with a pair of style’s clashes! ALIX Wicked Cinnamon Toast Whisper Crunch! Winner: Fire and Ice, via pinfal Post match the blond babes had a lil something to say… ANNAGRET All the humans are doing something called canceling each other. Don’t make me laugh! You’re all in a race to get rid of each other because you’re afraid of one another. Oh my god, sooooooo pathetic! That’s totally like chickens in the coop being afraid of the roosters! You’re all just food for the big deals of the world, aka you truly! So I’m so gonna give Zelda credit. Unlike the rest of this sucky world, she’s got the sense to be afraid. She’s totally okay with admitting she’s a coward. And that’s why, I totally promise you geeks and basement dwellers she won’t show to team with Miss Krap against me and my sister at Taco Duelsday. RENEE Unfortunately, that’s a real possibility. ANNAGRET Soooooo this one goes out to Miss Krap! You’re a f’n disgrace to your dear old dad. He made his name swinging his cock around. And even if it was a white cock, some chicks liked it. And objectively and all, it was huge. But it was still a white cock. You recoil at the thought of dick! Even powerful, dominant, throbbing black dicks! ALIX ANNAGRET Maybe, just maybe, Miss Krap. if you’re totally lucky, I won’t embarrass you too bad and let you touch the tip of one my chocolate daddy’s dark meat! Annagret thinks the segment is over. But it’s like she doesn’t know her sister at all… CINNAMON When the darkness of evil is on the rise…. Fire and Ice crash the villainous party! ANNAGRET …..what? CINNAMON Our two lights are the beacon of hope! And a man-hater and evil witch will never defeat us! Never! We will save the world- ANNAGRET WILL YOU SHUT…uhhhh what I mean is let’s show and not tell. CINNAMON Soooo right! Prepare yourselves, devious villans, justice is on the move! Fire & Ice over and out! ALIX They me be as goofy as Renee’s cough syrup addicted husband, but they’re just as deadly. RENEE Hey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 We’re taken to the state of the art interview set where videos of ETTA KITT’S conquests in Japan play. Standing by her lonesoime is the lady herself…. ETTA KITT ETTA Taco…. Etta pauses to hold her hand to her mouth and tears leak from her eyes. ETTA I love this business. I left my teaching job, that I dreamed about since I was 5 for this business. When I was a child, after watching WWF Superstars, and WCW Saturday Night, I would go play school. I would pretend to teach kids what was happening in the wrestling world. Etta gets choked up. More tears. ETTA Now what do I teach them? That the champion of the one major woman’s promotion in the world calls herself The Fuck Slut From Hell? Or that her sister calls hersemf…the…Cu…Cu…Cu..I can not say it! Jade Rodez-Duncan, you fat, degenerate, debauched…moron! An F! O give you and F for everything you have done in life, formicating with the criminal element behind dumpsters, incestual actions, rhythmically moving your butt in front of a large audience, it makes me sake to go on! By gods grace, I have been put against you in the stupidly named Taco Duelsday! If you can get out of catering and stop eating all the Tacos I will show you and the rest of the world what this industry should be…and what I will turn it into. Bring notes, people. School Is in session. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 We’re taken to the very zen, very Feung/Shui or however the fuck you spell it, office of GM…. KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN KRISTA CzechMeOut says “Holly>Krista” (Typing slowly) CzechMeOut more like EatmeOut Krista leans back in her thousand dollars swivel chair, smiling with pride. KRISTA Hehe, I punked him.. Krista, you still got it! As usual someone bursts into the office without knocking. This time the intruder is a laughing…. ASSISTANT GM, THE DOLL KRISTA Rena, you’re laughing! Oh no! Are you sick? I didn’t know you had the capability for laughs. I didn’t know you understood the concept of humor! Wow, I curated my greatest buryings of The Global Party Xchange just for grins. Let’s watch and have some laughs, honey! Come on, you and me! THE DOLL Nope, this is different. HAHAHAHAHA! Krista, come see this. It is outrageous! KRISTA AEW Rampage’s ratings fell even lower? Come on, let’s go kick them when they’re down! Krista hurries off to bury the competition! The Doll catches up and leads the way. The bosses find themselves in the parking garage where gMITAMA And IAMHINA Watch… ??? And ???? Who are clearly just THE SCUMBAG REFORMATION PROJECT in drag. THE DOLL Krista, take a look at Rizzo and Anson! What are they doing? They look hideous! Hahahah! So this is how life becomes when Lisa Ann drops you. Hheheeheh! MITAMA Sister, sister, look! Our wise leader has come along with her elderly assistant. IAMHINA Mitama, Mitama, look! Beautiful Krista has arrived along with the old hag, The Doll. THE DOLL I thought you two had cheerleading practice. IAMHINA Listen to her shrill voice, Mitama. You can clearly tell age and chain smoking has worn out! MITAMA Sister, sister, you are very wise to notice the horrible state of The Doll’s voice. RIZZO? Hey-uh, two smoke shows over here! Krista titls her head in cynicism. KRISTA Oh yeah? RIZZO??? Yeah, uh, names THE RIZZETTE, and this here, uh, this my partner, not like lesbo or shit like that, but my partner…uh… ANSON??? Ansonia! THE RIZZETTE It’s Roman. So toots, how about a job? KRISTA A job you say? THE DOLL Hahhahhah! HINA The horrible cackling of an evil witch! THE DOLL I am serious. I thought you had cheerleading practice. ANSONIA We uh been around the block. THE RIZETTE You got that right. We been in uhhh Glimmer, uh….Starlight….uh…NEXT. You know… ANSONIA We’re out here making moves and we wanna make moves in Raw Is Whore. KRISTA I’ll tell where you can make your fucking move too, you stu…actually, you know what, I provide a land of opportunity! Much like my friends in the Biden Admin. Unless you’re Haitian. Then fuck off. But you’re not Haitian so I’m gonna help you out. I was hoping you could prove what you got at Taco Duelsday. THE RIZETTE Now we’re talking! KRISTA Against the returning CADY OF GRIM! ANSONIA Wait, wait, that’s Sadist’s kid! KRISTA Is it? THE DOLL She must have forgot! Hehheeheheh! The Doll and Krista walking off, chuckling at Rizzo…I mean Rizette and Ansonia’s future. MITAMA Poor, poor, Krista. HINA I agree. No one should be stuck with an old witch by their side. RIZETTE Hey, uh, you toots wanna go for a uh…vag wax. HINA Die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 Following highlights of the Woke Queens/Chicks Over Dicks tag title bout from the previous Raw is Whore, which included Eponine Black slapping the taste out of Euphoria’s mouth post-match... *** Woke Queens vs. Amanda Beamer & Anita Hardick *** Tori Malibu and How2Girl made quick yet awkward work of their opponents, former Mormon missionaries with a character trait unusual for even pro wrestling. “AAAHHHHHH!” “OHHHHHHHH!” “UNH!” “OWWWWWW!” Low pain threshold, that is. But as the saying goes, pain is temporary. For them it came to end after Fanfare for the Supergirl. More noteworthy was the announcement a rematch had been signed for Taco Duelsday between Woke Queens and tag champions COBD, along with prerecorded comments from Euphoria who claimed there were no hard feelings over what happened previously. “Wellllll, maybe just a wee willie bit. But hey, you try walking straight and narrow after downing a 40! Anyway, I’ll have everybody’s respect when all is said and done!” *spits on hand, crosses heart* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 Here’s an interesting pair! Two Hotties who never interact located in front of video screen littered Interivew Set. We have… ANNIE IDOL And… JESSICA FERGUSON ANNIE Look who it is, super fans! The One And Only Jessica Ferguson! JESSICA I can not be the One And Only Jessica Ferguson. My name is ubiquitous in the American landscape. Not to speak of the greater Anglo-Saxon world. ANNIE ….. JESSICA Dead air is the bane of a good TV personality. Speak. ANNIE This is bad. My subject is schooling me! Uhhh, you’ve lately become ReX’s valet. If you think about it two PhD’s together in this company is amazing to think about! JESSICA Your lack of understanding of the educational system is impressive to think about. I am a PhD. ReX is an MD. ANNIE I’m still getting schooled by my subject. So uhhh, ReX’s is a buff beefcake of a man! Are you just friends or…. JESSICA Are you asking if we have participated in sexual intercourse? The answer is no. We have merely enjoyed intellectual intercourse. The meetings of two incredible minds bring us both mental orgasms. Annie, like the rest of us, has no idea what Jessica is talking about. But the real worry is the arrival of .. BOHEMOTH, a man who looks like a straight up a pimp. And lemme put it to this way, folks, when a TMW meathead arrives it usually means a sore pussy, a hurt jaw, and an aching asshole for our girls! BOHEMOTH I knew it. ANNIE Wow! Exciting development! The Man- BOHEMOTH Cram it. ANNIE Cramming it! BOHEMOTH Like I said. I knew it. ReX, The Little Man hasn’t piped you down, Jessica. JESSICA From a purely objective standpoint, ReX is far from a little man. BOHEMOTH Says who? You? He’s never shown you what he’s about. He’s gotta wait to see if it’s okay with “the boys in the back” to make his move. Do “the boys in the back” think I’m “over” enough to have sex with this or that woman. Little Man is barely a man. He’s a Little Boy who whines about what he wants. But, me? Bohemoth? Two time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champ? I’m THE MAN! I take what I want! JESSICA I know what you are alluding too…and it upsets me! BOHEMOTH I bet it does. Because being around “Little Man” has left you with a case of dry vagina. Say thank you. JESSICA Whh…why would I do that? BOHEMOTH Because I’m about to lay my beached whale into that sandy cunt of yours! JESSICA And if I refuse to comply? There’s no refusal for Jessica! No hint of consent! The strong arms of Bohemoth, mammoth pillars of toxic masculinity, force the slender nerd to her knees. ANNIE Oh no! Bohemoth, what are you doing?! BOHEMOTH What I want. Jessica, you’re gonna do exactly what I want you to do. JESSICA I do not consent. Red rises to Bohemoth’s face. Then it falls through his thick body and erupts as a slap across Jessica’s face! ANNIE How could you?! JESSCIA Annie…Annie…you should leave. ANNIE But… JESSICA All animals are keen to protect themselves first. I will not blame you for running away. ANNIE But- JESSICA Go! Annie bursts into tears, rivers of her cowardice flooding her face as she scurries off. The little interviewer is disgusted at her cowardice, and how she leaves a fellow Hottie to be raped. BOHEMOTH You’re a better person than your dipshit brother. Not a lot of good that’ll do you now. I know Little Man keeps you around because he respects your brain. But I’m THE MAN! If I don’t give a fuck what Little Man thinks, do you think I give a fuck what his little woman thinks? JESSICA You are a brute. Do you understand me? Jessica nods. BOHEMOTH You don’t need a high IQ to figure that out! Brawn over brains, little Ferguson. But I hope that brain of yours learned something in sex ed. Get to work. A MAN’S DICK springs to life in front of Jessica’s dark grey eyes. Indeed, Bo’s navy trousers sink to his Gucci loafers. Underwear? Most certainly not. Why inhibit The Man’s mighty meat? BOHEMOTH You need instructions, brainiac?! Jessica is as reserved as a church mouse, unlike some of our Hotties who advertise their sloppy meat sucking skills on Chinese spyware apps. Unfortunately for the brainy babe she’s forced into a crash course on shaft swallowing! While some of our bitches can deep-throat a 2 liter soda bottle, Jessica can barely handle THE MAN! BOHEMOTH Your dipshit brother told me you were a filthy whore? Hmph, I’ve face fucked a lot filthier than you, cunt. Some of our Hotties have been slurping down semen since their days on the Disney Channel casting couch. For Jessica, this horrible conquest of her mouth comes as nothing short of demeaning and degrading. Unlike her peers, Jessica considered herself a respectable woman, one whose intellect came before her beauty. Maybe she isn’t so smart after all! Under the threat of a terrible punishment from the towering giant, Jessica sickeningly nibbles at his mastodon. Well, sickening to her. To the Deviants across the globe this is pure and utter bliss! Teasing us in those cute glasses and business suits, Jessica? A smarty like you should have known how that would end up! On your knees as stroke fodder for us deranged pervs! Inch by inch THE MAN’s dick disappears into Jessica’s warm, cavernous mouth. One might say, inch by inch, Jessica’s dignity disappears. A disturbing and satisfying grin takes shape on Bo’s strong face. And why not? Jesse’s paying him to kick The Little Man’s ass and THE MAN is getting topped off by his employer’s sister aka The Little Man’s partner. BOHEMOTH This is what a MAN does, baby! THE MAN doesn’t do it like The Little Man! The Woke Smarks admired Jessica! There’s a woman with dignity’ There's a woman who is more than sex object! Now look at her Woke Smarks; the skinny bitch has to sail her tongue around THE MAN’s MANHOOD! Fearful for her safety, Jessica puts her all into stroking the dick with her tounge. The pink weapon even gets the underside of the uhh behemoth! BOHEMOTH You learn this technique from sucking off your big brother? Nothing would beat the humiliation of being raped by Jesse. But why must he continue to torment Jessica? What had she done to her brother to endure continued rapes? It is his fault she must tickle these humongous balls with her tongue! It is his fault her brown licks are cringe grabbed. JESSICA Why… BOHEMOTH Why? Because I’M THE MAN! And I got a gift for you! A face full of jizz! JESSICA No! Not that! That’s too embarrassing! BOHEMOTH You fucked your neither on camera! You are a worthless bitch! Now take my cum! The embarrassment occurs. On camera, for all our Deviants to jerk off to, Jessica’s face is layered in THE MAN’s mix! BOHEMOTH Tell Little Man THE MAN is ready for him. 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Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 We’re taken to the Back Lounge, where there’s the noise of Fluffers plying their trade, and training to be the next generation of Hotties on RIW. Above the sounds of sucking and fucking, Terry Taylor stands with his nieces… JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN AND.... RIW HARD ON HOES CHAMP, MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD TAYLOR Kids, in the mainevent of tonight’s Raw Is Whore you will stand off against The Hypebeasts of Ladybird Jones and the number one contender to the Hard On Hoes Championship, LeBerenda James MAYA Ugggggh, Uncle Terry! Just uggggh! TAYLOR Are you okay, Maya? MAYA Ladybird! Why do we allow these side characters around? Like they’re just here to eat pins and nod while the lead character carries the show like Sheenn in Jimmy Neutron, who we all know was the real star! Then the side characters get bitter that no one cares, and they have no merch, and they’ve like 200 thou follows on IG and a bunch of them are bots, they never have any sex scenes. Then they get super angry and look what happened with Alysanne, she was her sister’s sidekick, got mad and proceeded to manipulate the female Radio. And if they can’t do that they just make bitchy passive aggressive posts on the IG no one gives a shit about. Then when called out in it, they say “stop reading into things! THIS IS MY TRUTH!” TAYLOR So what do you suggest? MAYA We shoot Ladybird in the head. TAYLOR Holy shit! MAYA It’s a painless way to die, and nothing of value will be lost. I mean, like she’s cute and all but not cute enough for me not to despise. That’s like Billie Child cute. Shout out to the lower midcarders. TAYLOR You get more like your mom everyday. MAYA Headed to a G cup! Nice’ TAYLOR Jade, Etta Kitt, the newest member of the Raw Is Whore roster has had some harsh words for you ahead of your match at Taco Duelsday- JADE Mm tacos…love tacos! TAYLOR Do you have a response for her? JADE There are so many judgmental people in this world. But I’ve never ever heard someone as mean and nasty as Etta Kitt. Miss Kitt, you can bully the polite, kind, decent Japanese. But I am one hundred percent full blooded American, white trash, horny slut! I’m gonna stuff my face full of hot dogs before the match, stuff your face with every signature move I’ve got during the match, and stuff my face full of big fat dongs and make you watch every whorish moment of it! MAYA Wow. JADE What’s wrong? Do I have Oreo crumbs on my tits? MAYA Yes. But I was wowing because you’ve been cutting good promos lately. JADE Thanks! MAYA It only took 8 years. JADE Grrrtrr! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 Dangerous by David Guetta summons a wave of photographers to the entrance stage. These photo-smiths are all present to shoot the posing, CAELDORI FOX…. I don't know where the lights are taking us But something in the night is dangerous And nothing's holding back the two of us But, baby, this is getting serious Oh oh oh Dan-danger-dangerous Oh oh oh RENEE Taco Duelsday is a stacked card, everybody. You’ve got a massive tag team match in two-time Raw Is Whore tag team champions, The Midnight Foxes facing the newly formed tag team of Brea Brea and Sammi Cayley, now known as The Mega Hotties. ALIX Brea showed up to help her buddy, Sammi against The Nasty Boyds. That formed a MEGA team! But when Brea said they were going to blow Triple Patty and Vince149 for the tag belts, The Foxes said no-no those our are cocks to blow. Even though Cali is just a tease and Ruby leaves dead rats on your doorstep as a sign she likes you. But, Triple Patty and Vince149 are pervs and keep thinking they can smut out The Foxes. RENEE What an incredible distortion of events. Except for the two sentences part. That part is true. She The South African Hottie, Brea Brea entered to “The Greatest” by Sia…. Uh-oh, running out of breath, but I Oh, I, I got stamina Uh-oh, running now, I close my eyes Well, oh, I got stamina And uh-oh, I see another mountain to climb But I, I, I got stamina Uh-oh, I need another lover, be mine Cause I, I, I got stamina Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no RENEE Normally you’d have to guess the former Hard On Hoes Champion, South Africa’s own, Brea Brea would have a huge advantage over Caeldori Fox. But with Ruby around, well, Brea Brea better watch her back. ALIX Before she finds Ruby transported her back to Apartheid! RENEE Here’s a shocker: Alix is only thre 7th most offensive person employed by this company. DING DING DING Brea offered Caeldori a lock up…which, resulted in Cali bailing out of the ring. This didn’t sit well with the Toy Box crowd who came to see some hot babes get it on. But alas all Cali had to do was eat some neckbeard’s fries sexily and all was forgiven… RENEE I hate to say it, but this might be a new level of low for our Deviants. Fries? Fries?! I could understand a hot dog? Or a big kielbasa! ALIX Renne has to do freaky shit with hot dogs to please her husband because drugs have ruined his ability to get a stiffy! RENEE Stop talking about my marriage! ALIX Meltzer reported it; I’m just passing on the facts here, partner. Brea pauses to think for a moment, easier for her than the other girls.,and asks… BREA I’m not too bad am I? “WE THINK WE CAN! WE THINK WE CAN! WE THINK WE CAN…FUCK BREA! YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Brea blushed as befitting a gal with no sex scenes on the show to date. RENEE Just because you’re a Deviant doesn’t mean you aren’t clever. Cali may not have much talent or brains, but he has her pride as an attention whore. Thus she ran into the ring and seized Brea with a headlock. As Ruby watched very intently, Cali wrenched on the hold. ALIX Something’s off about that Ruby and it ain’t her top. What is it? RENEE Could it be that she casts actual magic spells in the middle of wrestling matches? ALIX No, no, no. Renee, we saw The Godfather make Warrior puke for not picking the hoes. Suddenly, Brea mustered the strength to shove Cali into the corner. Now trapped, Caeldori endured a barrage of chops from the South African babe. We weren’t talking Bhris Cenoit level chops but they were enough to summon Ruby onto the apron. RUBY Look into my eyes, African dog. REFEREE TITANIA Ruby! What are you doing? RUBY This doesn’t concern you, actual dog. I can place a curse on you to lock you into your werewolf form. RENEE That is obviously what is wrong with Ruby! RUBY I can hear you, ugly hag. RENEE I take too much abuse sometimes. All this lead to Cali smashing Brea in the back with a clubbing forearm. The former Hard On Hoes champ lurched forward, leading Cali to pounce and choke her on the ropes. TITANIA Get her off the ropes, Cali! Miami’s favorite bimbo let Brea free of such torture. The South African gagged (in a sort of hot way) and got no reprieve when Caeldori Fox smashed her with a shotgun dropkick. Though Cali executed the move like she was in the awful 16 bit game Shaq-Fu, it gets a name… RENEE Fox Hunt! ALIX Hheheheh, I get it. RENEE I would hope so! A pin… ONE! TWO! Kickout with authority, baby! The Little Hottie That Could rose up throwing more chops! Once again, Cali was backed into the corner. Brea got a little too cocky and shushed the audience for a biiiiig chop. Instead Miss Perfect small packaged the former Hard on Hoes champ! RENEE A rare mistake by Brea Brea! ALIX That’s what Dean Ambrose said he made during the reception! Anyway the cover…. UNO! DOSE! Brea escaped the fall! RUBY Can you not count, actual dog? TITANIA Don’t call me that! I’m also part fairy! RBUY Ashamed you’re a werewolf too? I would be! We all would be! Brea Brea rose and sent another round of chops, withering Cali. A vertical suplex sent Cali to the mat and had her CRYING! RENEE I didn’t know Cali had such low pain tolerance. Well, Brea never saw anyone CRY over a vertical suplex. She held her hand to her heart, taken aback. But she didn’t have much time to fret over Cali: REFERE NERDREGARD ARRIVED ONTO THE SCENE. Not only that he had his own WALK OF FAME STAR! RENEE No, no, no. Why him? Anyone but him! ALIX Even Tony Tourettes? RENEE Even Tony Tourettes. RFN You can’t replace me! Everyone knows I’m the real star of this show! My name is on the marquee! And I’ll tell you what, Brea, I shit in Sammi’s bag and The Nasty’s are about to find your bag and I’m gonna shit it in too! You stuck your nose in Cayley family business! That means I’m gonna stick your nose in my shit, BITCH!!! BITCH! BITCH! BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH! RENEE I wanna throw up so bad. Obviously disturbed by the possibility of enduring angles full of feces, Brea (unlike our Deviants) took her eyes of Caeldori! This led Miss Perfect to hit a bulldog on her foe! Not even a sloppy one, but a crisp one! Shock! But alas, Cali caught sight of herself in the Angletron and couldn’t help but model for all the Deviants… “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Despite being a heel (shoot termz!), Cali immensely enjoys the fan love and wears a big adorable smile! ALIX Cali ain’t always that approachable, partner, but I betcha dollars to donuts the Deviants are all about lending her big, hard- RENEE Show of support! That’s what I’m sure you mean to say. ALIX No, I meant to say penis. Cali didn’t capitalize on her bulldog. Not shocking given her lack of training and general stupidity. Thus the Miami raised dunce quickly fell victim to Brea’s hangman neckbreaker! ALIX Brea’s Breeze! Brea’s Breeze! It beat Princess Danger can it beat Caeldori Fox? RENE When you ask it that way, the answer is pretty obvious. The (academic?) cover…. ONE! TWO! But REFEREE WALLY NERDREGARD YANKED TITANIA OUT OF THE RING! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!” TITANIA Excuse me?! RFN I’m the senior official around here, lady! I tell you when to count to and when not to count and you ain’t counting no stinking pins for Brea Brea!!!!!!!!!!!! TITNAIA Listen up! You’re not the senior official! I AM! RFN How about I shit on your face!?? RENEE I’m not sure I like this new gimmick for Nerdregard. While the referees, yes referees bicker, Ruby slithered into the ring… ALIX Aww shit! This is like when Big Nate slithered up to my dad in the showers! RENEE And somehow worse! RUBY Suffer, actual dog! Ruby muttered words in Latin and slowly but surely, Brea’s stomach became hit with a hug ache. As Ruby’s muttering intensified, Brea fell to her knees. A pained grimace spread across the black cutie’s face! RENEE Sitcks and stones can break your bones, but Ruby’s words can hurt you! Officials arrive and even THE DOLL arrived to plead with Ruby to stop tormenting Brea Brea. But it’s like they aren’t even there! Ruby merely narrowed her eyes as she focus on a weeping Brea. RENEE We knew Ruby was going to act. But, we didn’t know she would act so maliciously. Fear not Brea Brea stans! SAMMI CAYLEY mdes a hasty arrival with her FIELD HOCKEY STICK! RENEE Sammi! ALIX She ain’t come for varsity tryouts! Sammi shoots to score with a swing at Ruby! But the English ginger managed to bail. She casually grabbed a groggy Cali to lead her team off. Sammi screamed at Ruby with officials holding her back, Ruby only offered her a sneering look of malice! Behind Sammi, The Doll berated the The Lioness for bringing a weapon as dangerous as a field hockey stick to the ring. ALIX Mega Hotties! Midnight Foxes! By gawd it goes down at Taco Duelsday! Don’t you dare miss it! If you do, you’re a moron and deserve to die! RENEE Who’s feeding you your lines?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 Here we are once again at the set that really does look awfully like Dr Oz’s set. The set designer for The Freakshow may be lame, but the babes are not! Big Poppa’s personal skanks are ready to roll! BOBBI Helllloooooo world! It’s The Freakshow! With The Summer Freakazoid Bobbi Cheesecake and her scatterbrained partner The Winter Freakazoid December Belle! DECEMBER You called me strong-brained. Thank you. BOBBI I didn’t! Hello? Eh,yes get to the jokes! You all heard about Pete O heading to the Philippines and coming back with Covid? He’s lucky it was to catch a virus and not to catch a… DECEMBER …… BOBBI And not to catch a…. DECEMBER Is it my turn? BOBBI The producers told me that joke was a layup. DECEMBERi I don’t do the basketball gimmick. BOBBI I see a producer named Triple Patty frantically pressing the dump button! So let’s dump the jokes and welcome “The American Wet Dream “ Dreamy and “The Babe” Tabitha! Right on cue, “Death by Rock and Roll” plays to call out… TABITHA of mysterious parentage And… DREAMY, Sandman9000’s daughter! TABBY Hello, ladies. DEEAM Dreamy and The Babe feeling our finest in our Fashion Nova fits. Bow down, haters. DECEMBER Bobbi, bow. BOBBI I’m not a hater, I’m an intrigued host carrying a dying piece of creative. I’m hugely pumped up to have you two on our show! Tabby brushes her beautiful blond locks and says… TABBY We know, Bob, we know. Miss Specical Snowflake, you’re sitting open-mouthed in awe. DECEMBER Great observation! Ruby called me a mouth breather, so I have to live up to that nickname! Triple Patty sighs off screen. BIBBI Enough about us, let’s get in you two and your plans for Taco Duelsday. Dream, some say you sold out the masterminds behind your presence to avoid a cage match with The Nerdregard sisters. DREAMY You heard the shirt that says “I am not my ancestors. I will fuck you up.” Well, I am not my ancestors I will get someone else to fuck you up. My daddy woulda been on whoever Reject told him to get even if it meant getting hit with a shopping cart, smacked with a fake turkey and getting a llama shoved up his ass. Face it my dad was Sandummy! Tabby and I were sent to start shit, now our ppl are gonna finish it. BOBB That’s amazing! Most everyone in this company sucks and dodges their cowardice! You just flat out admit it! In a way that’s pretty brave! DREAMY Thank you, thank you. I didn’t wanna over share. But my dads is an idiot! He has to wear a bib now when he eats because his brain is scrambled. He let himself become the victim, but Tabby and I roll hard with the oppressors. TABITHA These two women we have to face The Nerdregard Sisters are truly gorgeous, My Freakiests. Which should be obvious as I do not associate with ugly people. DECEMBER Who are they? Give us a hint, I’m good with hints. BOBBI Lie of the year! DREAMY Girl number one is more than a girl. If her dad is the father of this company, then I say she’s gotta at least be the bossy big sister! The people loved them some of her daddy’. He was an unproblematic hero. But lemme tell you, something brother, if you thought the run of bad press Da Baby took over his homophobic comments was bad, then wait till you meet this loose cannon. Whatever decent, respectful, kind and generous spirit her dad hard didn’t hit up this franchise player. DECEMBER I’m scared! BOBBI Ditto! DREAMY And her tits! She’s gonna have you all screaming Krista, who…but, uh, Krista be doing all the things though. I heard she was on Law and Order recently and voiced a Hentai in actual Japanese, and a G cup that’s not sagging at her advanced age…and can we just edit this whole part out? BOBBI We’re live, buddy! DECEMBER And we should be thankful to be live when so many people are dying of Covid. Deep thoughts. BOBBI Not really. But, there’s a second girl, right you two? And I’m pumped to hear about her! DREANY And out leadier, hahahahahahaha! Nerdregards you you done fucked up! Cause you set an Olympic gold medalist in your ginger asses! Hahahaha! BOBBI Gold medalist?! My horny spirit is pumping hard and fast! Wrestling? Powerlifting? Karate? TABITHA Powerlifting? Karate?? I do not associate with women who participate in such vulgar sports. DREAMY Yeah, the sport she does is bigger than Frosted Flakes! BOBBI Better than wrestling, and powerlifting? I can’t wait to face her in a match! Tell me what she medaled in? DREAMY Equestrian Dressage. BOBBI DECEMBER Bobbi, Dressage is a unique discipline for riding a horse. It is as unique as Hunter/Jumpers, Tennessee Walkers, Three or Five Gaited Horses, Reining, Endurance, Eventing or any others that come to mind. ... In a dressage test, horse and rider are judged on how well they can perform a series of prescribed movements. BOBBI DREAMY Hhahah, the chumpstain Nerdregards can meet up anyday, anywhere with ”Thee Stallion,” and they’ll be calling security in 30 seconds for real, for real! The Stallion's dad made this promotion! Made it! And the Nerdregards? Cousins of the Nerdlys?! There wouldn't be Nerdregards and Nerdlys without The Stallion's dad! They’re 5 foot whocares of redhead and habitual line stepping! “Thee Stallion” has been double d, toned ass since birth! People are worried about The Nerdregards not being able to do any scouting? Hhahahaha, they could take scout who found Tom Brandy, the scout who found Giannis, the scout who found- TABITHA Yours beautifully. DREAMY Put them to work like old slaves and our girls would beat The Nerdregards like old slaves! Taco Duelsday, we’re gonna be turning Raw Is Whore UP! Hahahaha! BOBBI It’s on at Taco Duelsday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 he Toy Box is a pretty wild place, and it should be no surprise we find our Hard On Hoes champion, Maya having a guy go hard on her hoe mouth. This guy happens to be none other than Black’s Martin Garvey. Insert Maya Suck, suck, suck! A far cry from the Women’s Revolution as Maya shows off her main asset But the barely legal skank is interrupted by a nagging tap on the shoulder. As nagging things tend to do the taps get Maya’s attention. MAYA Jeez! What? It’s Honey Dove… HONEY Look, Maya, look at my outfit! My secret admirer gave it to me! It was hand-delivered to be by ex-pornstar Gianna Michaels outside The Toy Box! Honey Dove shows off this outfit…. MAYA Oh what a novel way to recall an event! Telling us instead of showing us. Creative is on the ball! But you’re just gonna be on Bi-Curious George’s balls because that’s who this is. And who names themselves George if they’re gonna wrestle? Sounds like the creepy assistant middle school b-team soccer coach who never got referenced check and winds up molesting six ninth graders. HONEY That’s not my Georgie-Porgie! He’s a good guy. But he’s not my secret admierer. MARTIN Fuck this shit. Get back to sucking, ho. MAYA Sure thing, mister! HONEY I’ll see you later! Honey Dove merrily skips off in her sexy number! Stagehands watch her bounce away, wishing they could grope her. That’s when we switch the view to Always Pimpin Champion. SERGANT LYLE HOLT, and his loyal follower, PRIVATE WARTHOG! SGT.HOLT Do you understand the mission? PRIVATE WARTHOG Sir, yes, sir! SGT.HOLT We are to capture Honey Dove. Do not engage any other Hottie. Especially do not engage Maya Duncan Blanchard. PRIVATE WARTHOG Understood, sir! SGT.HOLT If you see Krista Isadora Duncan do not engage, do not attempt to communicate. You are to run. PRIVATE WARTHOG But, sir- SGT.HOLT Those are my orders, private! Before Warthog can answer the STRANGE WOMAN in fatigues and facepaint arrives with her lead pipe. STRANGE WOMAN Sarge, I am eager to help you capture this disgrace of a wom- SGT.HOLT I didn’t request your help. STRANGE WOMAN But, sir, you said you wanted a female who- SGT.HOLT And you think I wanted you? Get out of my way! Private Warthog and I will capture this…what did you call her? Disgrace of a woman. You haven’t proven you are any different. Private, MOVE OUT! PRIVATE WARTHOG Sir, yes, sir! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 We find Honey Dove in her cute outfit provided by her secret admirer. The loveable blond strolls through the hallway doing flower fortune. HONEY He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not…Huh? Honey Dove unfortunately finds her path obstructed by a small forklift. Though tiny it is positioned well enough to make getting through the hall difficult HONEY Huh? Why would someone drive their thingie into the hallway. With nowhere to go Honey Dove turns around….and walks into the massive wall that is PRIVATE WARTHOG PRIVATE WARTHOG Sir, I have engaged the target! SGT.HOLT (over walkie talkie) Capture at once! HONEY Huh? What’s going on? Given the MAMMOTH size difference, Warthog has no trouble in scooping up Honey Dove over his shoulder. HONEY What’s going on?! Why are you carrying me?! PRIVATE WARTHOG Returing to base, sir! SGT.HOLT Understood, Private. Over and out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 FORT HOLT Yes, Sgt.Lyle Holt has co-opted a soundstage deep in the recesses of the Toy Box. The decorated military man has turned into it his personal fort. While Proud Boys and Qanon followers load up to make America Great Again, Holt has loaded up because America can never be great again. His sharp black eyes, resting above black war paint, gaze at a shaking Honey Dove. HONEY What am I doing here? I need to go back to Twosies and Amelia! HOLT Shut up! HONEY Don’t tell me to- HOLT I said shut up! Do you know what you are? You are The Reason. HONEY The Reason? HOLY You are The Reason my life is meaningless. Do you know my twenties were spent fighting for my country every single day of my life? Six tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan. With nothing to show for it. NOTHING! Extremists erased my work in the middle east and at home… Holt begins choking back tears. HOLT You made my life meaningless! You are The Reason for the downfall and destruction of what I fought to protect. I thought the Arabs were the enemies. The true enemy was here all along! HONEY But, I was just a kid back then! I’m barely over 18 now! What do you want from me?! HOLT So you’re supposed to be the future then? Gen-Z? You’ll lead us to a better future, eh? Is that what you think of yourself? HONEY I didn’t say anything! I just wanna go! HOLT I see what you. You are a disgrace. You are subhuman. And you are my captive. Do you understand what that means? HONEY Just let me go! I never did anything to you! HOLT You are my property. I can dispose of you at whim. (Holt begins unbuckling his belt) But I can also make you serve my whims. HONEY Don’t! That’s mean! Please don’t be mean! WARTHOG *snort* *snort* HOLT Don't be mean, eh? Don’t be mean? When everyone in this country is mean? I fought tour after tour and came back to a country of I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! So, Honey Dove, I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m mean! I just want you to blow me! Honey Dove is too scared, to alarmed to resist. The poor girl, such a sweetie, drops to her knees. Her eyes are so full of tears, she doesn’t see the dick coming at her. Despite the order, she still gasps in surprise as Holt’s scud missile forces it’s way through her lips. HOLT If you were a decent woman this wouldn’t be happening to you. WARTHOG Tell her! That’s clearly not true. A woman with the personality of Michelle Obama could get a job with Raw Is Whore and find herself raped in a month. And though Honey is as sweet as sweet can be, our legion of Deviants are already making sure to bookmark this rape on the OAOAST Network! We may think she’s a cutie pie and a sweetie pie…but that makes stroking to her rape even better! HOLT You’re a fucking disgrace! You make me sick! Feel lucky you get to give oral sex to a war hero, cunt! Honey looks so good sucking dick one wonders what would have happened if instead of being found OAOAST Talent Director Terry Taylor she were sex trafficked across state lines. We can just imagine vids on Pornhub of a drugged up Honey being forced to engulf schlong after schlong. So Honey should thank of us for providing her with a safe environment to be raped in… HOLT Fukcing disgraceful bitch! He was awful, salty and hot! So awful! Where was Twosies? Where was George? She had no choice. She ran her tongue up and down the silky skin. The hardness was awful. The worst feeling of her young life. Tears poured down her cheeks. HOLT You don’t deserve to cry, btich! Her nose was buried in his kinky pubic hair. How awful! She was forced to take in his scent. His disgusting scent. Truly the worst moment she’d ever experienced! She had no choice but to swallow around the knob, working to stimulate him. Worst of all? Her rape was being documented for the world to see. Forever. Such was the life of a Hottie! WARTHOG Fuck her in the ass! HOLT Are you giving me an order, private? WARTHOG Sir, no, sir! Just a suggestion! HOLT …Good suggestion, private! HONEY No! Anything but my butthole. Please! That’s sacred ground. HOLT Sacred ground?! Sacred ground?! This country was sacred ground until you destroyed it! Holt grabs hold of poor Honey Dove. Since she’s so little, her fighting and kicking is a futile endeavor. Which is great for our anal loving Deviants out there! And for our rape fetishts (which is all of us) Honey’s mewling and crying is sweet symphony. HOLT Stup crying! You don’t deserve to cry! Private Warthog, lube her up. I want easy access. WARTHOG Sir, yes, sir! Like a good solider, Warthog is on the task. The beast of a man produces a bottle of lube. Seconds later, he is coating Honey’s tight pooper with it. Our helpless bitch continues to cry, a song that never goes out of style! HOLT I said stop crying! HONEY I can’t! You’re mean! Mean puts it lightly as Holt situates the tiny girl on his seven inch dick. Though not the biggest meat in the game, it’s thickness makes Honey Dove weep all the more. And I swear it is a beautiful sound hearing a little blond bitch cry her eyes out! HOLT Ride me! HONEY Whaaa…what? HOLT I said ride me! WARTHOG That’s an order, scumbag! HONEY I’m not a scumbag! I’m an innocent girl! HOLT The hell you are! Now ride me or this could get a lot worse for you! Afraid of getting hurt worse, the blond babe was offered no choice. She slammed her tight shit pipe onto Holt’s throbbing member. It seemed each time she did so the schlong went deeper into her crapper! HONEY Please…please… The anal fuck was fierce. Stronger than when Bi-Curious George fucked her. She suffered immensely. The pecker tore through her like a fighter jet. HOLT You’re lucky I even give you a moment of my time! You should be thrown in a garbage bin! You are disgrace to my once proud country! Poor, poor, Honey Dove. Such a cute girl! Such a nice girl! And all it amounts to is being battered with a deranged maniac’s maleness. But, if you’re not jerking off to this you might be gay. Surely our Deviants in attendance have grabbed Fluffers to service their arousal. Warthog could not resist. He whipped out his MAMMOTH black dick and began stroking it. Hey, he has a partner as I have whipped out my mammoth black dick to enjoy Honey Dove’s degradation. HOLT Take all of it, you fucking worthless bitch! I’d say Honey Dove is close to being a worthless btich. If she didn’t have big tits and blond hair she’d never have been hired. So naturally she’s subjected to an anal fucking that threatens to undo her. Why else would we hire this blond skank who can’t wrestle? So please enjoy this tramp being lost to a savage anal fucking. WARTHOG Keep bouncing on my commander’s dick! Warthog gets into it! With no choice, Honey Dove has to perform her own rape. Holy merely stares at her with malice and twisted arousal. As she bounces up and down his dick drives into her, taking her over. He claims her from BCG and 2XS. HOLT Garbage bin bitch! Holt feels a surge of energy and decides to fully take Honey Dove! Lucky for us that involves flipping her over and buggering her from behind! The usless skank cries and cries and my dick grows even harder. I didn’t know that was possible! The former serviceman fucks her as if she weighs nothing.As if she were nothing. He treats her like an Afghani village whore Insert Honey Dove anal As Holt fucks her his dick convulses. Hell his body convulses. Pleasure of taking this tight shitter along with destroying this disgrace of a woman is a heady rush.. Holt has never felt anything like this. Not the rush of combat, not any sex before. He treats her like a piece of meat, as if he’s fucking a tube steak. He can contain himself no more. A rush of sperm surges through his meat. He lets out a primal shout and then unleashes a river of white goo into poop chute! HONEY Nooooooooooo! Finally, Holt pulls out her tenderized asshole. Deviants, finish yourself off to the little blond leaking cum out her crapper. HOLT Mission accomplished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 he Hypebeasts entered to “Champions” by Ron Artest… MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE CHAMPIONS! Well they did enter except LeBrenda had all the focus... Ladybird was somewhere. But who really cares? ALIX Armageddon was the name of a WWF Pay Per View but Armageddon is about to happen in The Toy Box! RENEE Absolutely! We have a mainevent of former Raw Is Whore tag team champions The Hypebeasts versus the living legends, C02. We also know that Etta Kitt is watching, observing and waiting to strike. C02 entered to Tove Lo’s “Disco Tits” I say hi, you say hi, we stay high You look so pretty, yeah I'm sweatin' from head to toe I'm wet through all my clothes I'm fully charged, nipples are hard Ready to go I'm sweatin' from head to toe I'm wet through all my clothes I'm fully charged, nipples are hard Ready to go ALIX Listen to that ovation! That’s the sound of every Deviant in the Toy Box and every Deviant across the globe getting hard, getting wet, and getting ready to get down with C02! And when a man is fixing to get down, he’s fixing to get down! DING DING DING We started off with “The Bird Of Prey” Ladybird Jones facing off against Hard On Hoes champ, “The Fuck Slut From Hell” Maya Duncan Blanchard. Maya, sadly, wasn’t with this pairing… LADYBIRD What the hell is your problem? MAYA Uhhh you! I’ve only been saying this for a month. LeDoofus beats Morgan. LeMoron gets the honor of facing me for the strap,I guess that’s what Vince149 wants us to call it these days. But hey, plot twist, it is LADYBIRD I interact with all the time! And you all just like let this happen! I have iPhone pussy and LadyBird has Galaxy means! LADYBIRD You’re ,making me mad, kid. MAYA Oh my gosh, that’s so funny! Because your boss literally doesn’t care. Like really? Colin would take-up for Coulter and Finn. Seriously even Odin would defend the Love Doctors when he gave them a gimmick that forced Triple Patty not to tell Tony149 to give them the boot. JADE I don’t want to be weird but your cruelty, your spiritual brutality, I can’t take it anymore! You’re such a hot little sister! You can imagine what happens next. But in case you can’t have a gif…. “YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAH!” ALIX Renee, nothing beats the love of a baby sister! But your sex drive is dead now that you realize you married an Ice Road Trucker. RENEE When you need a couch to stay on after Krista kicked you out for the 60th time you’ll regret insulting me. LADYBIRD Heh. You got your sister off. Because of me. You should thank me. MAYA Just the suggestion I should thank a lower midcarder breaks my outage meter! DIE! Maya chokeed STO’s LadyB to the ground. There was no time for anyone to be impressed by Maya’s new move as the thick brunette choked the living hell out of LactB! “YOU’RE FUCKED UP! WE’RE FUCKED UP! YOU’RE FUCKED UP! WE’RE FUCKED UP!” RENNE Aren’t we all? ALIX Not me. I’m America’s Sweetheart! RENEE Yes. If we were still in 2005. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxxer V was afraid to stop Maya. That left LeBrenda to attempt to put an end to the rampage… MAYA Now you want to get involved?! Maya saw red! You’d think LeBrenda stole her double dong the way she chased the Akron native. But once they returned to the ring, LadyB caught Maya with a diving shoulder tackle! LADYBIRD I’m not playing now! No she ain’t! Ladybird had the Hard On Hoes champ in the corner where she belted her with knees to the stomach. As Maya groaned in pain, LadyB made it much worse with a stomach crusher. LADYBIRD How do you like me now? “BOOOOOOOOORING! BOOOOOORRING! BOOOOORRRTING!” RENEE Another career derailed by the Duncan family. ALIX Hahahaha, yeah! After Krista told Wade Keller Cuban Wall sex-trafficked little boys he wounded up getting deported! Hahahahaha! LadyB made an attempt to earn some payback on Maya with an abdominal stretch. Though suffering, the Beverly Hills bred babe succeeded in hip tossing Ladybird to the mat!! “YYYYEEEAAAAA!” MAYA Man, we Hotties like must super suck at wrestling if you guys cheer basic shit like that. Oh well, Crystal just smokes cigs during training and talks about men being scum, and mom says wrestling is for dorks anyway. ALIX Except for IRS who is in action next! RENEE No he’s not! ALIX Yeah IRS is. I haven’t paid my taxes in five years. RENEE Sometimes you’re shockingly clever. And other times? Drugs can do awful things to the human mind. Maya used an arm wringer, twisting LadyB until The Fuck Slut From Hell shot her into the ropes. Pain searing through her shoulder, LadyB ran into Maya’s arm targeted Pele Kick! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE I’d say that’s new. Most wrestlers throw that kick and hope for the best. Maya found a target. Impressive. With LadyB suffering through more arm torture, Maya slapped hands with the wound-up Jade! “YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA Jeez! My hands are coated in your cunt shake! JADE I’m very sorry, kid sister. MAYA Don’t call me kid sister, and I wasn’t complaining. I was celebrating! JADE You’re fucking incredible, tiny sister! MAYA That moniker is even worse! You're as bad as Cinnamon. Jeez! LadyB took advantage of this comedy-sex bit and walloped Jade with an elbow to the back of the head. As Jade staggered, the Fairfax, Virginia native spun Jade and delivered a mighty lariat! Well as mighty as her lanky body could give! RENEE Spin and Drive! ALIX A great play. You take the ball and you spin it on your fingers like a Globetrotter. Then when everyone is distracted, you drive the ball into Anthony Davis’ nuts, and The Clippers win the western conference in 4. RENEE Keep dreaming. Anyway, we have a pin…….. ONE! An easy kickout by Jade! Ever the dull one, LadyB locked The Booty Soldier into a keylock. The crowd need not suffer for long! The busty bimbo had enough talent to fight her way out the hold. Lacking any common sense, Jade hooked on a headlock rather than pummel her foe. But maybe I’m the dumb one as Jade suddenly ran forward and crushed LadyB with a bulldog! ALIX Folks, this ain’t no handicap match! LeBrenda James is supposed to be Ladybird’s tag team partner. But the woman known as The Bird of Prey has been left to the kittens! The Cum Dumpster sent LadyB into an empty corner. Though the Bird Of Prey came zooming forward with malice, the not so little miss piggy stunned her with a sleeper slam! RENEE There will be no Sweet Dreams- DREAMY Gimmick Infringement! Gimmick Infringement! RENEE Ahhhhh! Where did you come from? DREAMY I was beneath the Nigerian announce desk, sucking big….sucking a delicious lollipop when I knew I had to get a headset on and makeup for your inferior Canadian genetics! Jade tried to set LadyB up for Soo Wee’s reverse x-factor finisher. But, the Bird of Prey had other ideas! Instead, LadyB shocked Jade and the viewing audience by nailing with the blond with a tear drop suplex. Exhausted, LadyB dove to tag LeBrenda…who really didn’t want the tag at all. DREAMY Imagine LeBrenda James as world champion? That chump stain? You know how “we” do, Renee! Second-generation talent here, Canadian! Don’t act brand new, honey child! ALIX Don’t worry, Dreamy, Renne can’t afford brand new anything on her paycheck! RENEE God damn it. DREAMY Bwhahaha! We gotta get second gen Caboose on a brand new Sofa Central! All second gen, all the time! Or Kathy would be good! She’s not second, but she’s doing all the things! And everyone better than Renne bwhahahah! Back to the match, where :LeBenda entered with scowl aimed at her dear partner. With good reason as Jade tore through her foe with three straight lariats! DREAMY Second Gen! We’re untouchable! Unlike some Canadian dork. But, I gotta dip. Kathy and I are doing the crate challenge. Bye bye Dreamy! ALIX She left the mainevent to stand on milk crates. You hate to see it. RENEE I hope she and Kathy fall and break their necks and no one is around to help them. In the ring, Jade sent Brenda into the to the ropes and belly bumped her into the corner. Pretty impressive. Yet The Great Black Hope used her LeBron Miami Nights shoes to block Litte Miss CALIFORNIA’S charge! The number one contender peppered Jade with jabs and put her down with a chin crusher! RENEE Jade’s Hoop Dreams got chin crushed! ALIIX I kinda think they got crushed when she realized she had a 2 inch vertical. The cover…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! Tag to LadyB. With her boss holding Jade in place The Bird of Prey took aim with swift kicks. Problem: LadyB struck Jade’s errrrm healthy-sized stomach. That led to a chuckle from Soo Wee before the portly blond pitched LeBrenda out the ring and decked the former Harvard hoops star, LadyB, with a spinning elbow! JADE Hey, Etta Kitt, watch these jumbo sized tities and get real mad, hater… Stay mad, because you can’t jiggle fat udders like Soo Wee! Oink! Oink! MAYA Aieeeee! Big tits, soft curvy body, and a hunger for little sister! JADE makes a great love interest to me, the main character! And a reliable punching bag for my insults. Spurred on by the half insults half compliment, Jade peppered LadyB in a neutral corner with jabs. Yet, the Harvard grad hit Jade with an elbow and dropped her with a swift kick. ALIX The left went to Harvard and the right copied the left’s notes. Like I did at UCLA. But I also sucked a lot of dick to graduate. Like tons! The Bird of Prey set Jade up for a big kick…but Jade blocked the strike! With LadyB dazed, Jade laid her out with a sloppy yet powerful dropkick! ALIX You ain’t gotta be pretty to win. Rhaenys is the prettier sister, and look who got the mainevent spot between her and Alysanne. RENNE I can’t tell if you’re being your usual casually cruel self or you want to get powerbombed through this table. A Tag of sorts was made as Jade kissed baby sister on the lips. Such incestuous romance leas to violence as Maya hits LadyB with a springboard lariat. Maya didn’t care that she nearly broke her foe's neck. Instead, the Hard on Hoes champ delivered an atomic drop! RENNE Maya Butt Hurts! With Lady dazed, Maya bounced off the ropes in hopes of hitting iMaya. But LeBrenda grabbed her chocolate locks and yanked her down! “BOOOOOOO! “ Immediately, LadyB hit her finisher the Ankle Breaker, ankle lock. MAYA Sad. You have to win matches to have a finisher. Maya bucked out the hold quite easily. But her charge met a knee to the gut. The Bird of Prey held Maya in place and made the tag to LeBrenda. Together, The Hypebeast then threw Maya down with a double suplex! LEBRENDA Ain’t no mama's girl got nothing for me! LADYBIRD No, sir! LeBenda had Maya struggling to breathe as a back suplex knocked the wind out the champ. The Akron native had Maya hollering in pain due to a surfboard. Somehow, the brunette managed an escape. Small good that did as LeBrenda locked her into the corner with shoulder charges to the back! LEBRENDA I got it out the mud! MAYA Be proud of your parents being broke, girls. LeBrenda didn’t appreciate that comment and took a swing. A swing that was ducked and led Maya to hit Maya Butthurts. But when Maya bounced off the rope for iMaya, her rival leveled her with a back breaker slam! LEBRENDA BEAR WITNESS! We do indeed bear witness as LeBrenda bares her hot figure… RENNE Are we bearing witness to a new Hard on Hoes champ? ALIX Who cares?! Look at those CHOCOLATE TITIES~! The cover… ONE! TWO! Kickout!!, LeBrenda summoned all her strength to send Maya into the ropes. But, when the champ came to her new challenger, the challenger kicked out her leg! This caused Maya to crash back first to the mat! RENEE LeBrenda has locked onto Maya’s back and she will not let up. Showing off those JV hoop skills, LeBrenda took to the air and landed a double stomp across the small of Maya’s back! As the Beverly Hills native groaned in pain, The Great Black Hope turned her over for the pin… ONE! TWO! A kickout! “JAILBAIT SLUT! JAILBAIT SLUT! JAILBAIT SLUT!” RENEE Believe it or not, that chant is meant to MOTIVATE Maya! Even Jade joined in, chanting about her sister’s youthful snatch! Such cheers from the audience and big sis got the busty champ going! She hammersedLeBrenda with elbows to the gut! As The Great Black Hope remained stunned, Maya hit the ropes. But, LeBrenda caught her with a tilt a whirl backbreaker! Or she would have if she knew how to execute the move properly. Instead, LeBrenda had to humlatingly let Maya go. RENEE What does Crystal do all day in class? Maya showed no mercy for Crystal’s shoddy training; she delivered a crushing frieman’s carry front slam that left LeBrenda writhing in pain! RENEE Child Star Syndrome inflicted on Big Mouth Syndrome! ALIX You’re just saying that because LeBrenda is black. If she was white you’d call her gutsy, driven, a locker room leader. Maya fell backwards and slammed her big sister’s outstretched hand! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Business is picking up! And that business is ho business! LadyB entered the ring to protect her beloved leader. This merely caused the Harvard Grad to eat firey jabs from the community college drop out. Still, Jade showed some smartness as she lured an embarrassed LadyB in and rocked her with a leaping shoulder tackle! RENEE Jade is en fuego! ALIX Hey! Don’t use Spanish! You’re culturally appropriating from my people. Haven’t you people done enough? Gimmie 5 dollars, and I’ll forget about it. LadyB was a true fighter and got up swinging. Unfortnatley, Jade blocked her elbow strike and then leveled her with an E!Ziguri! ALIX I don’t know who still watches E! besides Jade, but that’s why we love her! Because she’s pathetically out of date on all things. Jade loaded up her reverse X-Factor Finisher aka Got It From My Mama. The move had finished the best of the best from Holly to Malaysia to Melissa to Sugar. But the crafty LeBrenda had the perfect way to save her lackey. LEBRENDA Yo, fat ass! I got food! RENEE Is LeBrenda serious? Like that would work. Yes, LeBrenda had someone’s box of take out! ALIX Hey, where’s my fish tacos?! Renne paid 15 smackaroos for them! RENEE Don’t steal from me! Alas, Jade’s slavish desire to her stomach work and she snatched up the food. Worse yet, she forgot she was in a match and left with the food… A recovered Maya felt the hard realization food was more important to Jade than little sis… ALIX When sisters excahgne pussy juices there’s such an incredible bond that develops that we can’t be without each other. Freud said that. RENEE UCLA has a lot to answer for… JADE MMFMFMMFOoops! MFMFMFM Maya I mfmfmf never offered you any! Yummy! MAYA That’s not exactly the problem. You can’t stop a fatty from pushing greasy shit on healthy people! Jade rushed back with half eaten fish tacos, bite marks all up in them, her spit all on it and forced it into Maya’s mouth. Of course, Jade forgot Maya was allergic to fish. Buuuuuut little sister, so into big sister and everything about her got a taste of big sister’s spit and lost all sense of well everything… RENEE I hate to say this…but maybe Alix is right about the sister bond! Maya really, really, really lost it as Jade’s spit settled on her tastebuds. That would be well and good in a porn but this was a wrestling match. Thus The Hypebeasts proceeded to attack Jade with a deluge of clubbing forearms! RENEE I think this is exactly what LeBrenda and Ladybird wanted. Actually that makes them incredible strategists. Ladybird hurled Jade towards LeBrenda with Akron’s own stirking Little Miss California with a leaping tomahawk chop! RENEE Slam Dunk! ALIX Throw it down, big man! LEBRENDA Ain’t no mama’s girls gonna out do me! I’m out the mud! I got it out the trenches! I’m a self made millionaire! I’m a thug living out of prison with pistols in the air! RENEE LeBrenda is wasting all kinds of time! Aside from that, the champion seemed less than impressed… Inser Danielle rose russle unimpressed LEBRENDA You got shit on this, mama’s girl? LeBrenda waited for no answer and threw out another Slam Dunk! But Maya dodged the attack and nailed LeBrenda with an atomic drop! RENEE Maya Butthurts! The champion bounced off the ropes to nail LeBrenda with the leapfrog face crusher known as iMaya! “YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!” BUT, Maya couldn’t even attempt the pin as Ladybird slammed into her! The force carried both Hotties out the ring! RENEE I never knew Ladybird had that kind of power. ALIX It’s like a boring power. Like the guy with a gut doing big weights at the squat rack in the gym. But Krista will still charge him 300 dollars for the membership. RENEE 300?! Jade bounced back to life and dives atop LeBrenda for the cover… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!!! NO! LEBRENDA WITH THE KICKOUT! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” Jade played to the rabid crowd as she takes position in the corner. She bounced her big ol booty, waiting for LeBrenda to rise. When The Great Black Hope stood, Jade charged in….and speared Referee Buzzlefoxxer V as LeBrenda dove out the way! ALIX BOAR! BOAR! RENEE And it took out Buzzlefoxxer’s old bones! LeBrenda immedialtye began assailing Jade with elbows and kicks. But she underestimated Little Miss California who smacked her a discus punch! Then Jade followed it up with a less than graceful but still deadly front dropkick. RENEE Hey! Look out, Jade! Renee’s warning came too late, as ETTA KITT suddenly smacked Jade in her fat white ass with the paddle! Jade staggered, dazed and fell into LeBrenda’s SLAM DUNK! “OOOOHHHHHHH!” ALIX My gawd! Jade took a double blow and not the way she usually does! How the hell can she survive a paddle to the ass and a smack to the face?! We’d find out as Etta dragged the groggy referee to count the fall…. ONE! TWO! ALIX NOT THIS WAY! THREE! DING DING DING ALIX Damn it! Damn them and Jon Moxley to hell! RENEE Hey! Winner: The Hypebeasts, via pinfall RENEE This was a victory for LeBrenda heading into her Hard On Hoes Title match at Taco Duelsday, and a triumph for Etta Kitt over Jade. Will C02 have their revenge? ALIX You can bet your middle aged ass they will! RENEE You’re older than me! FADE OUT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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