Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PORN AND SPORTS AND ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS RAW IS WHORE! RENEE The masks are off and the tops are off on Raw Is Whore! You know us. Renee Young and Alix Maria Spezia, fully vaccinated and ready to rock! ALIX Hheheheh, I won’t put that mind control poison in my body. I just got a vaccine card from the Chinamen on Wilshire. Hheheehhe! RENEE Alix, if you’re going to commit fraud you probably shouldn’t admit to it on national TV. ALIX Ooopsie. ** Chicks Over Black Dicks vs. The Challengers of the Unknown *** Isabella Spezia and Eponine Black made short work of their masked opponents in a non-title bout which featured Izzy doing some flippy shit to score the W for her team and pre-recorded comments by Woke Queens expressing disappointment the dream matchup between the two teams previously on Raw is Whore ended in a nightmare. Admitting they had already apologized privately the Queens felt compelled to do so publicly as well, citing respect for the champions and “super duper embarrassment” in How2Girl’s words over Euphoria’s actions without specifically mentioning the latter’s name. Winners: Chicks Over Black Dicks, via pinfall. Post-match Euphoria confronted the champs, bringing up Tori and H2G’s remarks, saying respect must be located at a dead end in COBD’s neck of the woods otherwise they’d had granted the Queens a return match. WHAP! A slap shut Euphoria’s yap. Though enraged she managed — surprisingly — to maintain her composure, other than burning a hole through Eponine Black! EPONINELet’s get a couple things straight. First, nobody blames Tori and H2G for what happened in our match. They blame you. ISABELLA Period. *air draws dot* EPONINESecondly, respect is earned, not given. And they have our respect. But all you’re giving anybody is a headache. ISABELLA Exclamation. *air draws vertical line/period* Before leaving the champs let it be known they’d be more than happy to give Woke Queens a return shot, popping the crowd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 We’re taken to the Back Lounge where we find an Anglemania babydoll top wearing… ANNIE IDOL Standing with… LEBRENDA JAMES. It might be hard to concentrate with the Fluffers scattered around sucking off various staff members but, please, focus! ANNIE LeBrenda James, we’re heading to a basketball challenge tonight between you and Maya DB. We’re going to watch- LEBRENDA Witness. ANNIE Huh? LEBRENDA You don’t watch me, you witness me like I’m the second coming of Christ! ANNIE I got it! We’re going to WITNESS you “hoop it up” against Maya after you told everyone you’re the REAL winner between the two of you. But, are you being a little over confident? Maya’s a natural athlete. LEBRENDA Natural athlete? I am LeBrenda James! If people fear what they don’t understand then I must be the most frightening chick alive because no one understands how I hoop so good. I got grown NCCA men choking like Sprewell. I could hoop with all clothes off and show why my game is the real beautiful game. Whatever Maya’s got, I’ll cut off like cucumbers. I can’t even explain how advanced my game is. But Maya’s gonna know I’m the one who’ll be maineventing the next 20 Anglemanias. Going up against LeBrenda James is like Josh Matthews tiny dick, you can’t beat her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 Backstage we find one of the most shady characters… REMY BAZIL, roaming the halls, singing to himself. REMY Ay Remy, Ay Remy, Ay Remy! As he walks he encounters Sara Jean REMY Sara Jean. SARA JEAN Oh. You. REMY Chere, you are as beautiful as the day is long. Your Golden hair shines as brightly as the afternoon sun. But tonight is not for us. Tonight is a night of fireworks between myself and Doc. SARA JEAN Aren’t you supposed to be taking care of her? REMY But, I am chere, I am. Remy moves on from a confused Sara Jean. He makes his way to the parking lot where his rental Ford Fusion awaits. Big money Remy! He digs through his messy back seat to find a cheap box of wine. Yes a box. But when he goes to open the door back to the Toy Box! REMY Bomjour? Bonnour? Let me in! Let me in! Remy continues to bang on the door as we fade elsewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 ***Etta Kitt Vs Carrie Oakley*** Etta Kitt entered to “Obey” by Bring Me The Horizon Obey We hope you have a lovely dayObey You don't want us to come out and play Away, now now There's nothing to see here It's under control We're only gambling with your soulObey Whatever you do, just don't wake up and smell the corruption RENEE The Okie, Etta Kitt is kind of a legend overseas. She’s been wrestling since 1995 and has beaten a lot of names we know like Malaysia Nerdly, Holly, Princess Danger and more. But it’s Jade Rodez-Duncan the former teacher is looking to discipline. She wants to turn Sowee into bacon. ALIX Good luck! Jade eats bacon for breakfast! And mid morning snack. And afternoon snack. And pre evening snack. And post dinner snack. And midnight snack. And pre dawn snack! RENEE My god, her cholesterol Carrie Oakley entered to Garpevine by DJ Tiesto… Oh I'm just about to loseJust a, just about to loseJust a, just about to loseJust a, just about to loseJust a, just a, just a just aJust about to lose Oh I’m just about to lose my mind!!!!!!!!!~~! RENEE Carrie Oakley is 20 years old, Alix. ALIX Ooooh I like dat. 😍 RENEE I’m not saying that so you can perv on her! I’m saying it because Etta Kitt is old enough to be her grandmother. Etta’s been wrestling for nearly 30 years. Carrie’s been wrestling for one. What can Carrie do to win this match? ALIX You know, I’m reminded about a little Mexican girl from West LA who they said couldn’t dream of beating a technical wizard like Dan Black. Well, that Mexican girl drugged him before the match and if Carrie drugged Etta like that Mexican girl drugged Dan Black, I think we could see an upset. RENEE Good grief. Carrie extended DA HAND to Etta Kitt, who looked down at it as if the bitch extended a crack pipe. Thus Etta promptly drilled her with a short arm lariat! RENEE Etta says she wants respect in professional wrestling. Then when Carrie shows her respect, Etta drills her. ALIX It’s cause Carrie’s black. RENEE Ok, let’s not go THERE! Carrie retreated to the corner….a bad place to be as Etta bashed her with repeated elbows to the throat! ALIX I think Etta Kitt is a big hypocrite. She talks about morality and virtue and chastity, but look at that butt! You don’t get a butt like that without fucking a bunch of black guys in your life. RENEE What about Annagret? ALIX Annagret, she said you have a flat ass! Come out here and smack her! RENEE Hey! Etta hurled Carrie to the center of the ring with a big toss! Somehow, Carrie landed on her flashy boots. That angered the former SMUSH Women’s Champion who tore through Carrie with a hard shoulder tackle! But when Etta bounced off the ropes again, Carrie took her over with a side headlock take down! ETTA How dare you! RENEE Does Etta expect Carrie not to fight back? ALIX Funny story, Krista tore up Rico’s visa because he reversed her side effect signature. Then she told CPS he was molesting his stepdaughter. Good times. Etta broke out the hold and took a wild swing at Carrie. The plucky Songnird ducked the attack and teed off on Etta with a series of chops to the chest. RENEE There’s a lot to target with those chops! Etta reeled back and Carrie came charging in….only to endure a sidewalk slam! RENEE Etta calls that the Schoolyard Slam! And I think she really suckered the much younger Carrie in. ALIX And she ddn’t have to use candy and a Playsation 5 either! RENEE Yikes! COVER… ONE! TWO! No! ETTA pulled Carrie off the mat! RENEE When you have someone beat you have to keep them down for that three. Right, Alix? ALIX Right! Unless it’s Rico. Then there’s always a tiny sliver of dignity left to destroy. Etta sought her home state Oklahoma Stampede! But she encountered a huge shock as Carrie rolled her up! ONE! An easy kickout! Carrie hurried to her feet, teeth grit in determination. The Nubian Hottie slammed her knee into Etta’s midsection, doubling the 20+ year vet over. The songstress then went up top, playing to the crowd as she did so. This proved to be a mistake as Etta used that moment to recover and press Carrie off the top! ALIX You can’t show love for the marks when the hoes is crabbin! RENEE I kind of understood that. Etta pointed to the hard camera as she stuffed Carrie between her legs. Seconds later the Songbird found her face drilled against the mat courtesy of the PEDIGREE!! Cover… ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! Winner: Etta Kitt, via pinfall RENEE What a dominant debut match by Etta Kitt! The former teacher lacked her fill of violence! More punishment needed to be inflicted on Carrie! Thus., Etta proceeded to choke Carrie on the ring ropes! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE There’s no need for that! What is she trying to prove? ALIX It’s not about proving anything. It’s about sending a message to Jadeycakes! And since Jade reads at a 4th grade level this is pretty effective. Carrie found herself trapped between Etta’s legs yet again, not as pleasing as it sounds! Luckily JADE RIDEZ DUNCAN arrived to spear Etta to the mat! ALIX Boar! Boar! Boar! RENEE Jade is using that weight to hold down Etta and wail away! But security would pry the warring blonds apart despite their best efforts to tear each other limb from limb. ALIX This one ain’t over! Etta Kitt thinks she’s gonna turn Sowee into bacon? But Jade says she’s gonna put Etta on a platter and serve her Duncan style! RENEE Does Jade really read at a 4th grade level? ALIX Maybe 3rd and a half grade? RENEE There is no 3rd and a half grade! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 We’re in the men’s shower of all places! Although considering who’s on our roster that’s not too odd. Present are… Assiant GM. THE DOLL The GM, Krista Isadora Duncan And…. MITAMA And…. IAM HINA, of the Whoros. IamHina lets out a big yawn as Mitama happily bounces on her sneakers. KRISTA You brought us to the guy’s shower but I don’t see any dicks? Is this a glory hole thing. I don’t mind glory holes, but that’s a young woman’s game. Right, Doll? THE DOLL I wouldn’t know. KRISTA (absent mindedly) No, I’d need to ask an actual young woman THE DOLL😡 MITAMA Krista, I know all the girls like black guys and all black people like purple kool aid THE DOLL MITAMA So I had a plumber rig the shower to spit purple Kool-Aid instead of water! If you wish to praise me now please do so! THE DOLL (seething with rage) That…is…the… KRISTA Greatest idea I’ve ever seen! What initiative! What genius! I’m in awe of you girls! MITAMA Oh yes! KRISTA I thought you two were only here to eat the pins Glass and Effie wouldn’t take. But you’ve proved useful! THE DOL Like a collie. IAM HINA I had nothing to do with this. I came only to collect my appearance fee. Now that I’ve done that I am going to the back lounge.I wish for wild rice and chicken soup for dinner. Have it delivered to me within the next 20 minutes. Good bye. IamHima took off with Mitama now fretting MITAMA Oh no! I don’t have any rice! KRISTA An Asian without- THE DOLL DON’T FINISH THAT THOUGHT! Interrupting Krissy’s racially insensitive dialogue is Terry Taylor. TAYLOR Krista? KRISTA What did I tell you? TAYLOR I’m sorry! I mean, Empress Krista, come quick. There’s something wrong with Dreamy. THE DOLL Well, that’s obvious. TAYLOR No, she’s hurt . Come on with me, Empress Krista,. Krista bites her lip in worry and he’s add off with Terry and The Doll… TONIGHT ON THE SYNTHEZIED PODCAST, SYNTH SITS WITH OAOAST LEGEND THE XAVIER FRANKLIN LONG! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 Krista and The Doll have gathered in the Back Lounge to meet with TABITHA And… DREAMY, who’s ankle is confined to a brace. KRISTA Dreamy, what’s wrong? DREAMY I was at the Cheesecake Factory in Beverly Hills and I made a Twitter post calling BTS Big Terrible Shit…, then in 5 minutes, I kid you not, I was swarmed by a gang of 15 year old girls! They appeared like the police in GTA! KRISTA Damn, the only way it could have got worse for you is if you called Lil Nas X garbage at a pride parade. Heh, popular culture reference. I still got it. THE DOLL That doesn’t explain the brace. DREAMY Alright, so these hoes follow me back to my crib my daddy bought me. And I live in a gated community, rich people business. THE DOLL (Sympathetically) I know that’s hard for you to imagine, Doll. THE DOLL Just finish the story. DREAMY So my maid tells me she saw some fans drive by. I say WTF, some fans! I grab my pistol I don’t see shit. All I hear is a big boom! Scared the turds out my gardener, Anthony. I say Anthony pass me the pistol. I see like 8 or nine of those 15 year olds running through the crib. I see one on the front lawn my daddy pays to keep perfect. I jump out I start shooting. Pow! Pow! I shot her in her ass! All the 15 year olds run out the crib. So I’m chasing them down, plow, plow, letting off shots. Then I round the corner and who should hit me with their Bentley but Soulja Boy! So I’m like on the ground, can’t stand, and I’m still letting of shots pow, pow! THE DOLL Stop! Let me get this straight. You got hurt because you made a mean tweet, got your home invaded by tenth-grade girls, shot them and then got ran over by Soulja Boy? Who would be stupid enough to believe that story? KRISTA You poor baby! Dreamy, you’re so brave! DREAMY It’s just a damn shame I’m out the tag match against the Nerdregards. THE DOLL Uh-huh, a true shame. TABITHA I’m happy to wrestle the match. But with a partner, of course. Though I am in my athletic prime, it is challenging to face Adelphe and one madwoman. Do you remember being in your prime, Doll? I suppose not since it was so long ago. THE DOLL You little- Before The Doll can unload on Tabitha… SKYLAR arrives SKYLAR Queens, I couldn’t help but over hearing your situation. And since we are all in tthis together I’d like to volunteer help. KRISTA You’re going to wrestle? You’re going to do the task we pay you do? SKYLAR😄Krista, you are hilarious. No, I’m offering the services of my Skylites to partner with this beautiful queen. TABITHA Mmmmm, Penny as a tag team partner. We could set a record for shortest Raw Is Whore match ever. SKYLAR As a matter of fact, Dasha is the Skyite I had in mind. TABITHA Dasha Da Rapper?! THE DOLL That sounds perfect. Go get ready, “Primetime.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 Jenny died of suicideWith a candle burnin' in her eyeBut on my tombstone when I goJust put "Death by Rock and Roll" RENEE Alix, you did something to Krista. You’ve corrupted her brain cells. How could she believe Dreamy’s story? ALIX Ally Cat is a good influence for all the little boys and girls. Just like Lil Nas X! Dasha entered to “Jump” by House of Pain.... Pack it up, pack it in, let me beginI came to win, battle me that's a sin RENEE Tabby and Dreamy have formed a little friendship with The Skylites. But Tabitha obviously expected Penny to be her partner and not Dasha. ALIX Yo, yo! Dasha came to get down! While these other suckers are busta rhymes Dasha is busta head! Word to your moms! RENER Thanks for taking me back to 1994. Adelphe entered to the familllar sounds of Sonanmbulist.... So little time, so little time - I'm so frustratedSo little joy, so little joy - It's complicatedSo little time, so little time, time to work it on outYeah yeah So little joy, so little joy - It's complicatedI feel I'm stumbling in the dark - SomnambulatedI feel my heart seekin' the sparks, and prayin' for loveLove lovePrayin' for love Simply being loved loved lovedSimply being loved loved lovedSimply being loved loved lovedIs more than enough, yeah yeahSimply being loved loved lovedSimply being loved loved lovedSimply being loved loved lovedIs more than enough, yeah yeah RENEE So, Titania Nerdly is the referee for this match. She’s the cousin of Adelphe and Pierette. Do you think Titania will be biased? ALIX Nah, Titania does things by the book. Which is odd. Obeying the law makes her the creepiest person I know! Au/Ra’s “Dead Girl” introduced Pierette.... Friend of mine is a black suitcase and a frowny face Had a life and now my eyes are glazed, 'cause they dug my grave All I wanna do is shake my headShake my head, shake my head But how am I gonna do that with a broken neck? A broken neck, guess I ain't like them (Guess I ain't like them)I'm just a dead girl, don't live in your world I just roll my eyes back every time I hear that Ooh-ooh-ooh, here we go again Ooh-ooh-ooh, I'm about to lose a friend I'm just a dead girl, ain't even mad though I just roll my eyes back every time I hear that Ooh-ooh-ooh, I'm just a dead girl Ooh-ooh-ooh, d-d-dead girl ALIX By god, someone snatch that woman’s aderall! RENEE This is Pierette’s first OAOAST match since 2017. The institution has allowed her supervised release. ALIX And her supervisor must be a corpse! Adelphe begged her big sister to let her rematch against Tabby to start. RENEE Tabitha had Adelphe’s number at Anglemania. And I think Adelphe might have Tabitha’s number tonight. ALIX That’s a good number to have ‘cause Tabby is a baaaaaaaadie! Mmm yummy! PIERETTE Delly, you’re so awesome! You deserve a huggy wuggy! Pierette snatched hold of kid sister for a Teletubbie worthy big hug! Unfortunately for them, Tabitha snatched hold of them both and belly to belly’ed them to the ground! ALIX My god look at the power! Are you looking, Renee!? RENEE Yes! Tabby gave us a lot more to look at as she showed her domineering might.... ALIX Ooooh pulling up to a sex themed show with Tabby’s body is like pulling up to the club in a Bentley. RENEE What do you drive to club in? ALIX My ten speed Barbie bike! Adelphe bounced off the ropes, looking to run down Tabby. But The Babe sent the Québécois flying through the air with back body drop! The second Adelphe rose, Tabby rolled through her with a discus punch! RENEE We still have no idea who Tabitha’s parents are. ALIX Hey, if she knows who her real father is she’s doing better than a lot of Americans. Adelphe ate turnbuckle post courtesy of a slingshot by Tabby. But the Celestial Cum Craver dodged her larger foe’s charge. After staggering backwards, Tabitha suffered through a Side Canadian Legsweep! ALIX Thanks to Covid, Adelphe has lingered in LA, away from her family in Quebec. And my dad says being away from home for a long time eating ramen noodles, selling your ass for ketchup, takes a toll. RENEE You had a point. Then you lost the point. The Nerdregards made the tag and proceeded to double dropkick Tabby. The Babe fell into an empty corner, dazed. That led to Adelphe monkey flipping Tabby into the dropkick thrown by Pierette! RENEE Amazing teamwork by the ginger sisters! The cover by Pierette was counted by Referee Titania, her cousin… ONE! TWO! Kickout! RENEE A very fair count by Titania on her cousin’s pin. ALIX Lame! You can bet if I reffed one of Izzy’s matches I’d hit them other hoes with The Sweetie and fast count for Izzy. Pierette started throwing hands with the kind of psychosis that would make a meth user stand up and cheer. Tabitha had no choice but to swing for the fences….but the ginger ducked and rocked her foe with a backflip kick! RENEE Pierette calls that Nitro Strawberry! ALIX Sounds like the edible Izzy and I just ate. Pierette stashed Tabby in the setup for a powerbomb. Bad idea as The Babe flipped her over with a backdrop! ALIX My gawd, the strength! That’s why she’s Studderboxx’s kid! RENEE Yeah aside from Studderboxx being like 5 years older than her I’m gonna say there’s a lot of reasons she’s not his kid. Pierette ran at Tabby and suddenly went to the skies courtesy of a press! Tabitha held the ginger aloft for a good twenty seconds! ALIX My gawd look at the power! Look at it, Renee! Look at it damn it! RENEE I’m looking, I’m looking! Tabby threw the bizarre ginger down with AUTHORITY! Pleased with herself, Tabby struck a pose... ALIX With a body like that she might be my kid! Pierette loved what she saw so much that she couldn’t contain herself... PIERETTE Have my baby! REFEREE TITANIA Cousin Pierette she almost maimed Delly! PIERETTE I don’t care! I want her baby! ALIX By gawd, we have a tranny on the loose! Cover your butt holes! RENNE How on earth do you kept your public platform? ALIX I’m a straight shooter. And also a huge slut! Disgusted by Pierette, Tabitha reluctantly tagged in Dasha! “YYYYYYEEEEAAAAA!” RENEE Dasha is one of our most endearing and enduring hotties. But Skylar seems to have it out for her after the Anglemania debacle. ALIX At least Skylar ain’t going Bounty Hunter on the failed help. With tons of energy, Dasha entered the ring! Reveling in the fan support, she gave us a rap... DASHA Don’t get cocky, it’s gonna get rocky! Dasha Tha rappa ride ya like jockey! PIERETTE Kyhajahaha’ Are you gonna beat me with the power of song? The Ukrainian threw herself at the ginger with a Lou Thez press! Unfortunately, Pierette turned it around to a flap jack onto the corner posts. As Dasha reeled in pain, Pierette tagged in her sister. Together the Nerdregards dumped the tiny hottie with a double suplex! ALIX The question is how much does Dasha have in her tank? And wil the Nerdregards throw into the audience for our pervs to fill that tank? RENEE Nice of you to write fan fiction in the middle of the match. Adelphe came off the ropes with a leg drop that Dasha avoided. Back on their feet, Dasha wailed away with chops. But Adelphe brought those to a sudden end with a kneeling jaw breaker. But the Ukrainian hottie proved resilient and used a rap to work herself up… DASHA When I say boom boom boom, you say bam bam bam! BOOM BOOM BOOM! “BAM! BAM! BAM!” DASHA Boom boom boom! “BAM! BAM! BAM!” Even Adelphe got with it.., Dasha saw an opportunity and took Adelphe down with a sloppy hurricanrana! Stunned after landing on her head, Adelphe became trapped in a pin! ONE! TWO! Kickout! Dasha hurried to her feet only to get smacked by Adelphe’s dropkick! ALIX Tables turn like turn tables! RENEE Dang, I wanted to get that pun in. But, little Dasha still had fight left in her! DASHA What do I gotta do? “YOU GOTTA BELIEVE!” the crowd sang. TABITHA Sadly, believing led Dasha to take a wild swipe at Adelphe who forced her into an inverted atomic drop. Da Rappa staggered a bit and rubbed her now sore tushy….in a highly sensuous manner….. PIRETTE I gotta believe….I can get to you and that booty! Referee Titana Nerdly had to hold back her cousin, which obviously didn’t go over well with Pierette. Nor did the lariat a sneaky Tabitha used to drop Adelphe! “BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” As Adelphe writhed in agony, Tabby decided to lord over like a goddess…. TABITHA You can thank your Celestial Mother for the view, darling. Dasha felt super bad about taking advantage of Adelphe and flat out refused Tabitha’s instructions to demolish the ginger. TABITHA Titania, darling, I request a new partner. TITANIA That’s definitely not how it works! TABITHA Biased officiating! I’m going home! Somewhere where I can far away from the Nerdly family stink. That led Pierette to sniff her underarms. TITANIA You’re leaving?! TABITHA ALIX Of all the cowardly, rotten, low life, shitty, lame, but entirely sensible things to do! Poor Dasha didn’t know what to do. As Tabby headed off, the little Ukranian hit the ropes! Alas, Adelphe was ready for her; the younger Nerdregard sister rocked Dasha with a… ADELPHE LUMINARY UPPERCUT!!!!! Dasha toppled to the mat as if falling out a tree. As the Skylite struggled to get her bearings, Adelphe tagged in Pierette. RENEE Dasha is in no woman’s land! Pirette unleashed the long-buried flashy bicycle kick known as Ginger Snap! RENEE No way does Dasha kick out of that! The cover…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! Winner: The Nerdregard sisters, via pinfall Post-match the gingers were all smiles and sparkling eyes as their cousin Titania raised their hand in victory. ALIX Well, folks, Dasha tried. And Tabitha tried for a while. Then she didn’t. And when the blond with big tits stops trying things go south for the brunette! Trust me. We get a live look in on SKYLAR, LAURI, and PENNY MARS. Penny is disgusted, scowling at Dasha’s beat down form. Lauri is scribbling away on her poster board with teeth gritted in annoyance. But Skylar simply licks her lips and nods. RENEE That Skylar. I don’t know how to explain why she does what she does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 We’re taken to one of the sound stages, which has been set up like a therapist office. There’s a lush leather coach, an expensive office chair and fine plants. Reading over a script for her own amusement is… DOC WHITE DOC Samir says “by the prophet, you are heavenl,” Miriam says, “Samir, will you lick me or should I leave?” Samir says, “Allah preserve me! I would never!” Miriam says, “If you lick me I will lick you.” Holy crap! Doc continued pouring over the script, not noticing that Susan Leslie aka The Soccer Mom has arrived until she announced her presence. TSM Doc? DOC Egads! Doc was so shocked he throws the script into the air, and it landed in The Soccer Mom’s hand. TSM What’s this you’re reading? DOC It’s not mine! I swear! TSM (reading) Samir: A virgin would never use these tricks, Miriam: I am no virgin! (looks at Doc shocked) Doc, did you write this? DOC N…no! TSM I didn’t know you had this in you! DOC I..I…don’t have anything in me! You’ve got it all wrong! TSM Miriam says, “The bomb didn’t kill you, Samir. You’ve been sent to the Healthy Pussy Attitude Alteration Project.” Oh dear me! That’s…um…very creative. What is the Healthy…um…Pussy…Attitude…Alteration Project? DOC I don’t know! Because I have nothing to do with this! TSM It reminds me of that video I found on my son’s ipad. Such a naughty boy! I bet you were a naughty boy too, growing up, Doc. DOC **Gulp** TSM I suddenly feel very hot. Do you feel hot, Doc? DOC Uh…yes! TSM I just can’t control my muscles and my hands. These words have such power. I feel like something is taking me over, Doc! Indeed, TSM couldn’t control herself as her fingers suddenly flicked over Doc’s taut nipples. Pleasure immediately sparked for both the hot blonds, as if someone flicked a switch on their cunt. TSM My, they’re so huge! DOC Yes…yess…they are! Much to Doc’s immense pleasure, TSM continued fondling her huge knockers. The shocked nerd cooed in glee, her fresh cunny already soaking her panties. TSM I normally don’t do this! But I just can’t help myself! TSM forced Doc upon the cream colored sofa with Doc letting out a whoop in shock. The younger blond murmured her delight as TSM peeled apart her panties to reveal her sexy muffin. TSM It’s so beautiful! I can’t control myself! TSM dove into Doc’s cunt with ferocious hunger. It brought incredible bliss to Doc with her nipples on fire, her whole body melting into TSM. DOC I can’t believe this is happening! Doc was sure her huge cry would attract some audience. But none came. Yet with red faced embarrassment, she continued to squirm against TSM ravenous devouring of her snatch. DOC There’s no scientific term to describe how good this feels! This is beyond my pleasure threshold! The pleasure was almost excruciating it felt so good. So raw for Doc! What had she been missing all this time? Having a cunt but never having oral sex! How could she have dodged such miraculous bliss all this time? Waves of sensation battered Doc, each more powerful than the last. The look of TSM’s platinum blond head, buried between her thighs. Oh yes… DOC Jessica must have learned so much studying this! Over Doc’s cry of joy the door swung open to reveal a NINTENDO SWITCH carrying… MARTY FOX MARTY Hey, Doc, you wanna see my Animal Farm…..HOLEEE-SHIT BALLS! DOC Mar…marty?! TSM Martin?! Oh dear me! Oh god! MARTY You two are…Doc…you’re…. DOC Marty? MARTY Doc….wow! TMS Wow is right! Marty, your pants! Marty simply couldn’t help himself. Or should I say, Marty’s cock couldn’t help him. The youngster’s beef pole began poking through his unzipped jorts. MARTY I forgot to zip after I went to the restroom. That’s embarrassing! DOC I don’t think that’s the embarrassing part, Marty! TSM It’s so big. And attached to such a hot young man. My god, what has come over me? I just can’t help myself! Meanwhile, in the parking lot we find poor Remy Bazil still banging on the garage door… REMY Bonjour?! Bonjour?! No answer! Back in sound stage, TSM has guided Doc over to Marty’s thick shaft. TSM You should suck it first, Doc. DOC Me?! MARTY Her?! TSM Go on. I bet it tastes so young and special! DOC Marty? MARTY I…I…want you to! Doc gave a slow nod, looking up at Marty with innocent eyes. DOC Nothing beats a college try then. Doc started by lapping at her good friend’s schlong. Every bit of precum became vacuumed into the waiting mouth of the brainy bitch. TSM Tatses good, I bet! DOC It does, Marty! It really does! Encouraged by the delicious tatse and heady musk of her good friend, Doc goes after what she wants! The eggghed got a face full of head as she took in Marty’s pole. Both friends shudder at the intense feelings of the sudden intimacy. TSM I can’t be left out! Suddenly, TSM grips Marty’s balls with her full lips! It’s all Marty can do to not blast a bload down Doc’s gullet. Instead he holds on for dear life as these hot blonds attend to his beef and potatoes. DOC Um, Susan, Marty, really like breasts. MARTY Doc! DOC Well, I…just want you to get maximum enjoyment! TSM I bet you like boobs too, naughty girl! Oh how Doc does. When presented with TSM’s gigantic hooters, Doc instantly begins suckling on them. One would think TSM was nursing a babe the way the brainy bitch gobbled on her globes. Some might wonder how Susan Leslie won the Be A Star competition to be an OAOAST Superstar. These people are idiots! Look no further than these enormous jugs that have captivated Doc. TSM I honestly never do this sort of thing! As much as Doc liked Susan’s hooters his mouth was attracted to Marty’s prick. Shamelessly, Doc attached her red lips around Marty’s pecker. As she did, the brainiac fondled Susan. Susan, was of course, delighted to be groped by Doc; these once morally upright blonds becoming shameless whores. TSM got her fill of Marty Fox, chowing down on his wood. Despite the fact that she was old enough to be his mother, TSM shamelessly surrendered her morality and sucked him like a hoover. Doc couldn’t control herself, drawn to Susan’s glistening wetness. The genius began munching on TSM’s muff as TSM munched on her partner’s dick! Like a bolt from the blue, an orgasm hit TSM! She shuddered around Marty’s meat, sending humming vibrations through his bone. The sensation is so intense, TSM nearly toppled over.. Now she has three fingers thrusting in and out of my pussy, while her tounge massages Marty’s wood.. Fantastic! Doc’s hand was drenched with TSM’s love juices. Truly these upstanding women have become filthy whores! Jessica would be proud! Susan Leslie ground herself against Doc’s mouth and once again exploded. As TSM gushed juices, Doc raked his teeth against her bruning clit. TSM You have done this before! DOC Uh-uh! Suddenly, Marty was struck by a desperate urge! MARTY Can…I put it inside you two? TSM I don’t normally do this sort of thing! But…. DOC Yes, please! Please, Marty! Doc had that same desperate urge as her long time partner. Her sex NEEDED to be filled. And with that hunger she laid on her back, wide open like a filthy whore! DOC Please, Marty! Marty couldn’t help but have his handsome face split with a big grin. And with that smile he dove right in! DOC Yes! Marty filled his long time friend, stretching her in ways she didn’t think possible. Marty even made the confirmed atheist, Doc, scream… DOC Good god! Marty was long enough to reach those difficult to hit spots. Spots Doc never knew he had before! Those aching hungry places, Doc never knew she needed filled. DOC Oh my god! Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaarty! Doc’s thigh muscles clenched on the unbelievable beast that skewersed her! Again and again she cried Marty’s name as if Marty was her master and ruler. DOC Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarty! Spasms arrive deep in her belly as she orgasms around Marty invading spear. DOC I never knew there could be something like this! This is amazing! Marty’s wood was unyielding, its hardness tearing Doc apart. Still, Doc hollers in utter delight. Marty continued to fuck her until he released another orgasm that nested inside her! DOC Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarty! TSM I think I want to ride. MARTY Really?! TSM I mean…I don’t normally do this…but just this once is okay. Marty pulled out a panting Doc, his dick thick with the brainy bitch’s juices. Trembling in anticipation, Marty laid himself out. TSM Oh? I can ride you? I’m normally never on top. But….okay! TSM was all smiles and giggles as she sheated Marty’s eager rod in her fuck hole. The whore in denital immediately began riding Marty. Why, we’d never know she doesn’t normally do this… DOC Marty, your cock is so…amazing! TSM Yes it is! Much better than my husband's! Susan coated Marty’s spear in juices as she thrust up and down. Ripples of pleasure go through her from head to toe. The whore in denial let out a loud purr as she savored the thrills of the wanton riding. TSM My husband could never compete with you, Marty! MARTY Marty became lost in TSM as his meat plunged into her fuck hole. If she never normally did this, she made up for lost time as she rode Marty like there was tomorrow! They are truly joined, the sensation of pure bliss shared between them. TSM clenched the base of her own cunt, tightening it around Marty’s shaft. This forced pre cum to ooze from his unprotected shaft. Pre cum that added to her stirring juices. MARTY I can’t hold it anymore! Suddenly a rush of sperm flew from Marty’s dick. The whopping load filled Susan’s fuck muffin; filling it to the point it overload. TSM Oh! This younger man came in me! Wow! Doc was right there, preforming a task almost on instinct; he begin lappiung up the oozing baby batter from The Soccer Mom’s sex. But as Doc gathered up his long time friend’s sperm, in the parking lot…. REMY (BANGING ON DOOR) BONJOUR! BONJOUR! I SAY FUCKING BONJOUR, YOU IMBECILES, LET ME IN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 Backstage we find… HONEY DOVE, in discussion with… Hard On Hoes champion, Maya Duncan Blanchard. Maya is twirling a basketball on her fingers. Or trying. Trying and failing quite terribly, actually. HONEY DOVE Do you really think you can handle a basketball challenge? It sounds very hard! Like my Twosies, heheheehh. MAYA Can I handle a hasketball challenge?! Puhhh-leaze! Of course I can! HONEY DOVE It doesn’t look like you can complete a simple chest pass. MAYA Huh? If a girl has an A cup I can think of all kinds of tricks to make em look bigger and pass her chest off as some nice ones! HONEY But, it doesn’t look like you can even do a layup! MAYA I can too! Guys will just pay me to lay up with them, I don’t even have to fuck them. But I always do if they’re black! HONEY Just stay away from Twosies! MAYA No problem. I’m gonna hit tons of, what’s the next point after two? Is it three or something? HONEY I think your only hope is to commit a Flagrant! MAYA Yup, I’m wearing Givenchy perfume. I’m always on top of my flagrant game! Before Honey can pass out at Maya’s stupidity, a Fluffer with green hair arrives with flowers for the blond. FLUFFER This bouquet of roses just arrived for you. MAYA 2Xs is a big softie! HONEY It’s not from Twosies. The card says “Aphrodite made you perfect. Just like she made our love eternal. Yours in adoration and fornication, your secret admirer.” I'm glad it was short. Reading is tough! MAYA So it’s just George then? HONEY I don’t think so. George isn’t so poetic. What’s going on? MAYA What’s going is you’re gonna get some surprise dick! Yay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 F-U TV! F-U TV!!! BZZZZZZZT! Grainy footage leads us to the SKYLITE dressing room, where’s there’s so many girls I can’t post all their pictures! The main focus should be on Kathy Karen Kelly, Billie Child, and DREAMY who is without her ankle brace. DREAMY Are you sure that’s how you do the dance? BILLIE Yup! Are you sure you can dance? DREAMY Are you asking me “so you think you can dance?” Come on Kathy, let’s do it for Tik Tok and make this whole place look like a Step Up movie. BILLIE Those were great movies. Lauri agrees with an enthusiastic nod PENNY What happened to the Soulja Boy injury? DREAMY Are you serious? That was cap to get outta fighting that psychopath Pierette. I could crank dat Soulja Boy right here and now! KKK Let’s get those likes, Dream! DREAMY So many likes it’ll be a likeathon! KKK Heck yes! In full view of the hidden camera Kathy and Dreamy begin shuffling and spinning to the sounds of “Up” by Cardi B. Lauri records with her phone… KKK I’d tell you to get my good side… DREAMY But they’re all good sides! KKK & DREAMY Bwhahahahaha! BZZZZZZZZZT! We cut to KRISTA, having watched this footage takes off for the Skylite dressing room... RENEE Oh boy. ALIX Oh boy! She’s gonna fuck me good and hard tonight! RENEE I think we have bigger things to think about! Krista burts through the Skylites locker room and immediately, I do mean immediately, Dreamy drops to the ground…. DREAMY KRISTA That’s the problem with you Gen-Z Tide Pod eating bitches. You can’t just do your dirt and slide away. You have to do your dirt then flaunt your shit for the ten second dopamine rush because your fellow Tide Pod eaters pressed a virtual heart. BILLIE You shouldn’t knock Tide Pods until you tried them. KRISTA I wonder what kind of rush, Dreamy, you’ll get when you’re locked in a steel cage with both Nerdregard sisters at Taco Duelsday! DREAMY Uh, my cousin’s Bat Mitzvah is that day. KRISTA You’re Jewish? A fellow Jew! Well okay, then I’m gonna give you a chance to make this right before I sacrifice you to the ginger goddesses DREAMY Hey, hey, it wasn’t even me and Tabby who really wanted all this! The Slut and surfer girl made upssoften RIW up before they make their big debut. Look, look, look, they belong to the two biggest family names in wrestling….after Duncan of course! And I can promise you they’ll show up for the cage match at Taco Duelsday! KRISTA Throw your friends under the bus when faced with the possibility of answering for your devious actions? I respect that kind of open cowardice. Are you surre Joey The Rat ins’t your father? Okay. But if this Slut and this surfer girl disappoint honey, you can look forward to a blond goddess on the other side of that steel cage with you. DREAMY *Gulp!* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 We’re in the Fire & Ice dressing room, where Cinnamon stands on top of the vanity pointing to the skies….well the ceiling really, but use your imgagination! CINNAMON Cry justice into the dark of night, and it will echo back, "Cinnamon!" Any who would face divine judgment, step forward and meet my blade! ...Yes! Nailed it! That's a total keeper! ANNAGRET As in, keep out of sight? ...Keep secret forever? ...Keep being a big fat loser? CINNAMON Gah! Was it not bombastic enough? Should I say “hellishly divine “ judgement instead? Ya know, juxtaposition! ANNAGRET Ugh! Who cares?! You know the NCAA tournament was n and I didn’t watch one second. I can’t even get my pussy wet thinking about all those sweaty black bodies bumping and slamming against each other. And why not? Because that mutant dwarf and Miss DRY Kunt are conspiring to RUIN MY LIFE! As my big sister, I want to know what you’re gonna do about it? CINNAMON Those toughies are gonna taste the divi….the hellishly divine judgement of Cinnamon Spoons, Valkyrie! And their punishment for ruining my like sister’s life? We hear Cinnamon’s music of “Heads Will Roll” playing CINNAMON There’s your answer, kid sissy! ANNAGRET Don’t call me that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 As mentioned like five words ago, Cinnamon entered to “Heads Will Roll” by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs..... Off with your headDance til you're deadHeads will rollHeads will rollHeads will rollOn the floor RENEE Annagret is taking advantage of Cinnamon. She’s constantly berating poor Cinnamon then sending Cinnamon out to fight her battles. ALIX It makes me sick! Big sisters are supposed to take advantage of little sisters! Not the other way around. And even then it’s strictly for sexual purposes. RENEE Why do I even bother? Miss Kunt entered to “Knock You Out” by The Bingo Players My fight is wonWho needs a gunBoom boom knock you outYou knocked me downBut who's laughing nowBoom boom knock you outMy fight is wonWho needs a gunBoom boom knock you outYou knocked me downBut who's laughing nowBoom boom knock you out RENEE Miss Kunt is standing up for her friend Zelda Bazil! ALIX And as god as my witness as Miss Kunt runs to the ring there’s millions of men standing up for her! D’Lo was the referee for this affair. However, Miss K put her hands up in a sign of peace. MISS K Cinnamon, we’re girls! We’re supposed to stick together! And your sister is driving us all apart! Let’s be friends! CINNAMON RENEE No strange diatribe there, guys! ALIX She big mad! Cinnamon ran Miss K all the way into the corner. There, with Annagret’s encouragement, The Spice Of Life began stomping a mud hole in Jock’s daughter. But when Cinnamon tried to walk it dry, Miss K used her strength to flip her over with a dragon whip! CINNAMON Ouchie! ANNAGRET Ouchie?! Are you a valkyrie or are you a baby?! CINNAMON I’m a Valkyrie! Cinnamon shot upright and peppered Miss K with jabs! The look of anguish on poor Miss K’s face set aflame the fires of passion in Cinnamon’s heart… ALIX You gotta ask yourself, folks. Are there other mythical beings getting their booty shorts wet over beating teenage girls? Is The Holy Ghost busting nuts flogging ninth graders? RENEE How aren’t you canceled yet? Miss K found her footing, and again tried to talk sense into Cinnamon… MISS K We honestly don’t have to fight! We’re cute girls! We’re on the same side! CINNAMON I’ll never be on the same side as you! Perish in the name of burning justice! Miss K met Cinnamon’s charge by side stepping the blond and letting her hit the ropes. On Cinnamon’s return, the Texas babe blasted the Valkyrie with a STIFF KICK~! RENEE Everything’s bigger in Texas! Including big boots! Cover… ONE! A kickout at one! Shocked to only get a one count, Miss K found herself thrown into the corner yet again. There, Cinnamon took a page out of Annagret’s book, choking her foe with her black combat boot! Unlike lil sis, big sis adhered to ref D’Lo’s count. This lead Miss K to sag to the ground and groan in pain. Pleased with Miss K’s suffering, Annagret was practically glowing… RENEE Some people in the OAOAST family are demented and twisted. But Annagret is a plain ….well it rhymes with witch. ALIX Rhymes with witch…..switch, ditch, hitch- RENEE Bitch! The word is BITCH! Cinnamon sent Miss K into the ropes, but had to duck a second STIFF KICK on the rebound. The Valkyrie speedily found her footing and leveled Miss K with her CINNABUNS! Meanwhile, Annagret busied herself dancing to that new Fivio Foreign! RENEE She doesn’t even care her sister is in a fight because of her. ALIX I mean, Krista got concussed by Bohemoth once and Amberlyn just came to the hospital asking if she could borrow her black card. Annagret barely noticed that her big sis trapped Miss K in an abdominal stretch. She only started to pay attention when the Texan hip tossed big sis over! With Annagret now screaming at her, Cinnamon hurried to her feet. She couldn’t stop Miss K from spinning behind her and hooking in a full nelson, however! RENEE Looking for Pure Penetration! But, Cinnamon used her Valkyrie strength to power out the hold. Suddenly, the Nevada raised babe cinched in a double nerve hold on Miss Kunt! RENEE A Pinch of Cinnamon! CINNAMON Submit, wicked creature! Submit to my justice! Unfortunately for Cinnamon, Miss Kunt managed to reach the ropes. Unlike her cheating sister, Cinnamon broke the hold promptly. That didn’t do Miss K much good as Cinnamon began raining down clubbing forearms on her back. As our girls aren’t much in the wrestling department, a windup and a punch to the back from Cinnamon counted as a high impact move! ALIX Ya know, a lot of people say the Hotties can’t wrestle. And they’re right….where was I going with this? RENEE The Hotties can’t color commentate either! Cinnamon tried to lift Miss K into a sloppy back breaker only for the busty Texan to shift her weight out of the attack! Jock’s daughter then struck her Kunt-Fu pose….. ALIX Folks, ya might not give a rats’ ass about Miss Kunt’s martial arts skills when her boobies look like that. But lemme tell you, in Kunt-Fu, she breaks cinder blocks with her double D’s and not her hands! RENEE I’ve seen it! Cinnamon came after Miss K, and swiftly jumped over a leg sweep. But Miss K caught her with a back sweep! That left the Spice of Life splayed on the mat! ANNAGRET Kunt-FU? FU as in F-U? That’s funny because no one would ever F, U! Hahhahaahha! Cinnamon rolled upright and swiftly endured a series of quick kicks to the shin. Hobbled, the blond Valkyrie found herself flipped into a seated position in the corner. The beautiful supernatural tits jutted out, and she looked so helpless and weak! Miss K couldn’t help but take advantage and charged in… ALIX Throw that thang on her like it’s OnlyFans! But when Miss K noticed Referee D’Lo looking a bit too excited, she abruptly stopped! MISS K Degenerate male! You make me sick! Cinnamon recovered and pounced on Miss K with a series of clubbing forearms. The big breasted raven haired babe fought back with knife edge chops. But The Spice of Life shut down her offense with a theatrical snapmare! From there, the Valkyrie locked on the dreaded reverse chinlock! CINNAMON Surrender now! Or I'll...I'll... I'll strip you of what little clothes you still have left! How would you like that, eh? Doesn't sound very fun, does it? Too bad! ALIX Sounds fun to me! But, Miss K wouldn’t surrender! And she wouldn’t be stripped of any clothes either! Instead, the Texan used a series of elbows, and a surge of adrenaline to fight her way out the hold. However, Cinnamon blocked Miss K’s attempt at a gutwrench powerbomb; then Cinnamon went back on the attack with a rude awakening neckbreaker! RENEE One Night In Lovelock by the Lovelock, Nevada native! The cover… ONE! TWO! Miss K with the kickout! Cinnamon sent Miss K into the ropes…and got run down by Miss K’s leaping shoulder tackle! The Kunt-Fu Practioner then pulled Cinnamon upright and peppered her with karate chops that backed Cinnamon into the corner. From there, Miss K showed some impressive speed and agility by hitting Cinnamon with a tornado DDT! ALIX Will you let me do this to you when you get older? RENEE What?! ALIX Oopsie! Flashback from hanging out with my Uncle Hector when WWF Warzone came out! Miss K went to the second rope and proceeded to DROP A FIST on Cinnamon’s pretty face! The cover… ONE! TWO! A kickout! Miss K sent the Valkyrie into the ropes, swinging with a tornado kick on Cinnamon’s return. But The Spice of Life succeeded in ducking the attack! Moving quickly, Cinnamon tried to pull Miss K down with a backslide. But, the Texan succeeded in powering out of the pin effort. However, Miss K couldn’t stop Cinnamon from blasting her with an Annagret like big boot! RENEE Those legs aren’t as long as Annagret’s, but they’re still deadly! CINNAMON Whoo, no one is stopping me now! Except, Miss K, who dragged her foe to the mat with somewhat sloppy drop toe hold! The STF Miss K applied wasn’t much prettier, but it immediately had Cinnamon hollering in pain! ALIX Roughrider! Roughrider! Roughrider! Annagret saw her grand plans going up in flames! She new she had to send D’Lo’s libido through the roof to save Cinnamon! Thus The Snowbunny jumped onto the ring apron and sported that tight white ass for all to ogle over… D’LO ALIX RENEE Good grief. Cinnamon tapped out like her life depended on it! But there was no referee to count the submission! This made for an infuriated, Miss Kunt. The raven haired Hottie freed Cinnamon and marched over to Annagret to confront her and her wicked ways. But The Snowbunny grabbed hold of Miss K’s head and snapped her neck off the top rope! “OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE Hey! Stunned, and hurt, Miss K was caught by a surge of agony. Then she was caught by a Valkyrie who caught her with a Styles Clash! RENEE Cinnamon Toast Crunch! The cover… ONE! TWO! THREE! Winner: Cinnamon Spoons, via pinfall Despite his shoddy officiating, D’Lo at least protected Miss K from further beatings from Fire & Ice. Alas insult was heaped upon Miss K’s injury as Annagret talked trash backing up the entrance ramp… ALIX She’s fucked so many black guys her actual heart is black! RENEE Annagret put on a clinic tonight. A clinic on how to be a first class BITCH!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 A cheesy theme plays to an opening video of the FREAK SHOW. The video features December and Bobbi having a gay ol time with an ethnically diverse group of young ppl. We fade into the set that had to be ripped off Doctor Oz where our Freaks si on plush chairs. Bobbi wears a “HORNY SPIRIT” track jacket while December boobies barely stay in an “SO COLD IN THE D” Winter Freakazoid top. BOBBI December, today marks the 5th anniversary of us teaming together! We’ve won tag titles, fought Melissa and her crew and found true love! DECEMBER Fun times! Good ones too. Everyday is a happy day. BOBBO And a horny one all thanks to the power of Horny Spirit that courses through our blood. DECEMBER I think that’s just the weed. BOBBI We should take our partnership a step forward and form a study group. We can learn things to be better Freaks for Big Papa. DECEMBER Good idea. I need to get more better at anal cowgirl. BOBBI We can start by reading this stack of Cosmo mags my uncle James was going to toss out. There’s tons of articles about pleasing your man! We’ll have Big Papa screaming BOOMSHAKSLAKA in no time. DECEMBER BOOMSHAKALAKA! BOBBI But this is the Feesk Show’s third episode, and our first was way crazy! We had Sammi then she welcomed Brea Brea then The Nasties and Ref Nerdregard threatened them and put them on their hit list. But then The Midnight Foxes, mostly Ruby, went way wild and laid out The Mega Hotties! DECEMBER And they hit the router so the internet cut and I couldn’t finish annotating TMW entrance songs on genius. BOBBI You’re literate! Good for you. But it won’t be good for The Midnight Foxes when Sammi and Brea recover. That’s why on The Freakshow they have a chance to apologize! Cue: Dangerous by David Guetta The Midnight Foxes, now a duo without Cornette arrive onto the scene. Ruby wears a majestic red robe, opened slightly to reveal a pleasing amount of leg. Caeldori goes for cute rather than sinister in BOBBI Ruby, I have to ask you a very important question. I heard you found a few local fans talking big smack about you and Cali on Twitter for what you did..,, RUBY And? BOBBI And you cast a spell on them! RUBY Woth the words they typed to myself and my precious Cali, I felt they no longer deserved to behold our sexy bodies. So I blinded them. It was only meant to last a week, but even benign magic can have side effects. BOBBI You’re calling a blinding spell benign? DECEMBER And making up words like benign to fool us. Shame! RUBY You should hope you keep your good looks for a long tome, December. Though you’ll never rival Cali in beauty. Since someone somewhere has to be taking a pic, Caeli modeled herself… CALI Second place is still a place. A much better place than Sammi and Brea. BOBBI What place are they in? RUBY A coffin! Mwhaahahaha! BOBBI You had this time to beg for forgiveness and you’re making things worse. Why did you attack the Mega Hotties? CALI Mega Hotties? Throw up! What’s mega about a team that’s tagged together twice? That if you put them together they’re an eight? Bobbi damn nears falls out her chair BOBBI YOURE SAYING SAMMI AND BREA ARE FOURS! You offend HORNY SPIRIT with your lies! RUBY My grandfather once said if there is someone deserving of a curse, don’t hesitate to strike. They should consider themselves lucky they escaped with only a beat down. CALI Besides when you’re as basic as they are, bumps and bruises don’t affect your rating much. RUBY The Raw Is Whore Galaxy is so fickle that I wonder if everyone suffers from a memory curse. One day The Midnight Foxes are the top of the top heavy babes. Then we lose to Chicks Over Black Dicks? CALI Under very questionable circumstances. RUBY And then in your eyes we are no better than the voodoo version of Los Conquestiafoes. That was a terrible error on the Galaxy’s part. Now we will cover our beautiful bodies in the screams and torment of the Mega Hotties. I think it will look good on us. CALI Everything does, though. DECEMBER She can turn sound into clothes, Bobbi! Ruby, teach me how! BOBBI That was a metaphor. DECEMBER A meta for who though BOBBI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted May 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2021 The side of our LED infused entrance stage has been converted to a half basketball court. The TMW logo reigns supreme on the court. Standing on the M is Annie Idol, dressed in a sharp suit that makes her fit for TNT! RENEE This is it! The basketball challenge! ALIX Why grope each other when you can yam on each other? ANNIE Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a first in OAOAST history! We welcome you to the first ever basketball challenge! Please give a warm Toy Box welcome to the playground warrior, the boss of the Rucker, the idol of Akron, LEBRENDA JAMES! MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE CHAMPIONS! ANNIE And her opponent, the underdog with a heart of gold and a mind of porn, MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD!!! I Don't Need A boyfriend, I just wanna... I don't need your money I already got some I should come with a warning I should come with a warning How do you pull up on a bad bitch, don't you know that I'm a bad bitch It don't matter if you mad rich Can you pull up on a bad bitch? Bad bitch like me Bad bitch like me Bad Bitch like me Bad bitch like me SO PULL UP ON ME~! RENEE Alix, please tell me Maya is putting on an act. She can’t be as bad as she seems to be. ALIX Yo, check it, RENEE Oh no. ALIX I took her to my 12 year old cousin, Emmy’s, church league game to do some scouting- RENEE Oh no. ALIX And, like, Emmy’s team was short a player so they asked for a volunteer from the crowd. And I so leaped at the opportunity.I swear to god, I totally went in there with the intent to not shoot and just set the kids up to score. But these dorks were down 23-4 after the 1st quarter. After that, I just started isolating and taking mad kids to the hoop. I scored 32 points in the 2nd quarter. I was in that zone the greats talk about. And the other team couldn’t see me on D, Renee. I totally got my shit off on both ends. Anyway what segment are we on? Masked Mutants versus Christ Air Express? RENEE Kids, please stay sober. Anyway, Annie had the two contestants gathered at the edge of the court. ANNIE Ahem! The rules for the basketball challenge….are, I don’t know. No one told me…. MAYA You don’t know because someone who’s been running a basketball player gimmick for three years didn’t answer the first text where I asked “what are the rules?” She didn’t answer the second test “what are the rules?” She didn’t answer the third text, “what are the rules?” LEBRENDA …,I dropped my phone in the toilet and insurance didn’t wanna cover a new one. I’ve been using Ladybird’s….but she got a data limit. MAYA That’s soooo sad! I almost feel bad about embarrassing you at the one thing that gives your life meaning. Buuuuuut, I’m a Duncan so I gotta do what I gotta do. And I who gotta do! Anyway, Annie Idol, we’re gonna play a game invented by the Viking equestrian fetishest Cinnagard Spoonvang, called Horse! I hit a play, LBJ copies, if she misses that’s a uhhhh? What does horse start with? LBJ H!!! MAYA I knew it was something like that. LBJ Not something like that. It is that! MAYA So, like, anyway if she makes it she picks the next shot. It goes on until we spelled whatever animal I just said. I dunno we’re just killing time until Ladybird runs in. LBJ Ain’t no run in. I’m a court animal! You gonna be popping them perkeys to numb the pain from this. Ain’t no mama’s girl gonna serve me. You trippin. You go first, you step into my jungle. MAYA (overly formal) And so I shall! But first I must engage and kinesthetic stretching. LBJ What? Stertching! Maya works out that hot 20 yr old body to the immense delight of us horny mutants… ALIX Ooooh I wanna nom, nom, nom that girl! MAYA All ready! Maya picks up a TMW branded basketball, sets her feet and…. MAYA Waaaait! Does my lipstick look okay, Annie? LBJ Your lipstick?! Who in the flying fuck cares about lipstick right now? ANNIE You can try my Cherry Bomb lipstick from Sephora! Maya takes the lipstick and of course makes a cute, theatrical show of putting it on… I ALIX Sooooo Rodmanesque. Now kick the camera man in the nuts! MAYA Now I’m all set! LBJ Finally! Maya picks up the basketball and anticipation builds. She dribbles, and dribbles, and dribbles, and dribbles… LBJ Who do you think you are with all that dribbling? Chris Paul!? SHOOT! MAYA Oh noes! Guys, we’re missing cheerleaders! Mom still has her cheerleading outfit and totally parades around in it without any sense of awareness for her advanced age. Buuuuuut, you know what, guys? I was in dance squad in middle school, which is really an excuse to legally entertain the Pete O’s of the world. Soooo why don’t I entertain the straight and narrow horndogs of the world? Turn on the jams! ALIX Word to your moms! Like literally, Krista, play some music. We’re a current tend fed so The Weeknd’s “Save Your Tears” plays. To LeBrenda’s objection. LBJ I’m losing it. I’m really losing it. And I’m losing my load as Maya’s dancing gets me going… ALIX I remember that dance squad! My Uncle Juan was the choreographer….well, until they had to take the restraining order out against him.. MAYA And now….I will shoot my shot at all you creepy old dudes out there and show off my bouncing basketballs… “YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX By gawd, she just figured out how to make the WNBA watchable! LeBrenda is FUMING. If we had a special effects department they would have steam coming out her ears. Instead she stompsa around the court, huffing and puffing like a big bad wolf. MAYA What’s wrong? LEBRENDA You’re what’s wrong you obnoxious mama’s girl! You wasted my time, you wasted my money and you wasted my life. The Toy Box is like a shrine to me, brat. Every inch of this place is a testament to my greatness. And because you disrespected me you need a beating in the worst way! LeBrenda throws the first punch! But Maya blocks it with the basketball! RENEE Ha! Doesn’t feel so good does it? The Hard On Hoes Champion, bops LeBrenda on the nose with the basketball! This sends the Akron native reeling off the court ALIX Whooo-hoooooo, this is flames! Instead of Malice at the Palace we’ve got, heatrocks in the Toy Box! Tear each other’s tops off! RENEE As you can see, fans, we always encourage a peaceful resolution to conflict. LeBrenda rolls into the ring in an effort to escape Maya. But The Fuck Slut From Hell slides in, basketball in hand. RENEE This has to be a nightmare for LeBrenda. ALIX It’s like if Chandler Parsons laid the smacketh down on LeBron. LeBrenda rises to her feet, pleading for mercy. Maya decides to play to the crowd for advice… “HIT HER! HIT HER! HIT HER!” MAYA I was just gonna bully you into doing my homework from Math 101: Basketball Stats, but the crowd says to hit ya! Except Maya is floored by a basketball to the back of the head courtesy of LADYBIRD JONES! ALIX There she is, that damn goon, LadyBird! Ladybird stomps away at Maya, on LeBrenda’s orders. Then LadyB feeds Maya towards LeBrenda; the Akron native rocks Maya with a tomahawk chop! ALIX Slam Dunk! Slam my gawd Dunk! LEBRENDA Go outside and do laps around the block, brat, because in the world of athletic competition you like a enucuh’s ball sack, you don’t hang with me! LeBrenda raises the basketball into the air, and literally stands on Maya’s chest as we… FADE OUT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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