Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PORN AND SPORTS AND ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS RAW IS WHORE! RENEE This is Raw Is Whore and we are in the Maya Duncan-Blanchard era! I am Renee Young sitting beside Maya's step-mom Alix Maria Spezia! ALIX Hell to the yes! Maya and her g-cup gazongas are in the buiilding! And tonight's show features tag team champions Yokozuna and Owen Hart defending their tag team titles, Da Bad Guy Razor Ramon will be in action, and Double J defends the intercontinential title against Aldo Montoya! RENEE That's just the last episodes of Superstars you watched on the WWE Network! TONIGHT!!!!DREAMY VS ADELPHE!!!! RIW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS: CHICKS OVER BLACK DICKS (c) Vs THE WOKE QUEENS!!! RENEE That's what's happening tonight! ALIX Oh...yeah, that's cool too, I suppose. Stood in the center of the ring on this edition of Raw Is Whore is Krista Isadora Duncan, dressed up in a smart business suit. Though she wasn’t smart enough to button it or wear a bra! KRISTA Let’s be really real, everyone, 2020, sucked. Garbage year. Actually 2021 already sucks too. We have All American Boys storming the capital building and getting their Judge Dudd shot and I still pay the most taxes in the nation. Anyway, I’d say most years in human history are awful if you think about it. Genocides, Holocausts, mass murders, plagues, famines, descendts of Rico De Janerio roaming the earth, trash all around. Aliens should blow this shit up, right. RENEE Leave it to Krista to rally the troops. KRISTA But, my dear sweet youngest daughter put sunglasses emoji after the poop emoji that was 2020. That hot little piece of newly thickened ass showed we white girls are down for the cause! The cause of loving all black dicks equally and enthusiastically no matter how much they might tear our tiny white pussies up. But, with the world watching her every move my little girl tore through Lady XFL and became the new Hard On Hoes Champion! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA So let’s meet that champ ! Let’s meet the cunt with ten pounds of gold, my little pumpkin, Maya Duncan Blanchard! I Don't Need A boyfriend, I just wanna... I don't need your money I already got some I should come with a warning I should come with a warning How do you pull up on a bad bitch, don't you know that I'm a bad bitch It don't matter if you mad rich Can you pull up on a bad bitch? Bad bitch like me Bad bitch like me Bad Bitch like me Bad bitch like me SO PULL UP ON ME~! “Pull Up On Me” hits and Maya Duncan Blanchard pulls up on the Toy Box! The newly crowned champ gives air high fives to the social distanced crowd, which will probably become a thing. RENEE It was a mainevent for the ages! It saw interference from Alysanne, the audience, SMUSH’s Etta Kitt attacking Jade but in the end Anglemania saw Maya Duncan Blanchard become the new Hard On Hoes champion. ALIX Fun fact, she recently learned that belt should not be taken in the pool with her. RENEE How do you all survive without burning the house down? MAYA For family! “YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA For black cock! “YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAA!” MAYA When Jade and I entered Déjà vu we knew one thing that if Lady XFL left with the Hard On Hoes title we were gonna tear that mother fucker down. Well, there’s midget amputee tantric cream corn wrestling this Thursday at Déjà vu and Xena’s belt is now my belt! “YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA Xena, when I had one dick in my pooper and another dick in my muffin I knew I was gonna lose it if I didn’t walk out Anglemania carrying a black baby and carrying my gold cutie! Well, the pregnancy test says mom won’t be a GILF but I have my gold! KRISTA And a gold thong too! RENEE There is total elation dripping off every word Maya says. MAYA And you know what else? Mega growth by me for sharing my bomb ass big booty sister and not even getting so much as a taste. I am not some Bowser level abductor from Super Mario. And it’s not like I’m someone who hides the cupcakes if she says I’m too tired for sex. KRISTA Why, have I never thought of that? ALIX It’s a fairly obvious tactic thus making me the smartest in the family. RENEE Poor Jade. MAYA I don’t know why that Etta Kitt woman crossed the seas to attack Jade, but hot teacher like lady abusing big breasted blond? I’ve fingered myself to that hentai. KRISTA And I watched you! ALIX And I watched you watched her! MAYA But, Xena, I know I talked hella shit on you leading up to the match but you’re by the far the toughest woman I’ve thought since that 275 pounds trans attacked me over that purse at the Gucci pop up store on Melrose. But, like that trans lady got 5 years for assault I’m gonna get at least a half a decade run with this bad boy because no one’s taking it from me! “YYYYYEEAAAAAA!” KRISTA Little girl, you might not make it to Anglemania 20 because your mama is about to wear that ass out. ALIX Oh boy! MAYA Hell yeah! Wear my ass and break my ass in, mommy dearest! Krista needs no further invite and engages in a sultry liplock with her youngest daughter…. MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE CHAMPIONS! Our incest fun is interrupted by the Purple and Gold sporting LeBrenda James. With a cocky smirk on her gorgeous face the Nubian hottie struts to the ring. RENEE I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t been there, but LeBrenda James pulled off the huge upset and beat the four-time OAOAST Women’s Champion Morgan Nerdly. LERBENDA Moment of silence for the champions. For those who make going hard a lifestyle. MAYA Congratulations, you can recit your entrance music lyrics. I mean, congrats totally honestly. Because they had to get a tutor to teach me mine. KRISTA We’re not the brightest bulbs! LEBRENDA But you do know one thing, that’s winners. Krista, what did you tell me when I got backstage after I beat the brakes off Morgan Nerdly at Anglemania? KRISTA I said you proved yourself. LEBRENDA I proved myself a winner, baby! A lot of people think my passion is basketball, but my real passion is winning. MAYA Don’t play a claw game then. Seriously don’t. They’re rigged. LEBRENDA Everything is rigged! Rigged in my favor! I am the best pure athlete on the Raw Is Whore roster. Mommy’s Little Girl? Bitch, Xena was an appetizer for what’s coming at you next. Football? Football? You think a linebacker was giving it to you rough? A linebacker?! I’m ready made to NBA Jam on your ass with thunderous authority! Even if you don’t wanna hear me, you’re gonna hear me! Mommy’s Little Girl meet the best athlete you ever encountered! MAYA Better athlete than me? Yeah, sure. I’ll take you on in a spelling bee, a chess match, even a game of League of Legends! LEBRENDA Ha! Ain’t none of those real athletic contests. MAYA Good because I can’t spell, chess is hard and League of Legends is for dorks. LEBRENDA So then you’ll let me embarrass you on the basketball court. If you ain’t gonna listen to my words then you’re damn sure gonna listen to me dropping 21 on your head. Every basket I make, every shot that goes in is gonna be a little letter to you to let you the clock is ticking on your title reign, Mommy’s Little Girl. But, I did get you a present to celebrate your victory. That present would be Ladybird jumping Maya from behind! Maya can’t defend herself as Ladybird throws her into the corner and batters her with punches. As security gets between Ladybird and her victim all LeBrenda does is hang back and laugh. RENEE What a brazen show of disrespect by LeBrenda James! To have Ladybird Jones attack Maya in front of her own mom! 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Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 Backstage in the Back Lounge where Fluffers practice their oral skills, Sara Jean Underwood stands with… DREAMY SARA JEAN What’s up, gang? I am in the Back Lounge with the enemy of Nerdly and Nerdregard clan , Dreamy! No Tabitha tonight, just The Dream as she faces Adelphe Saint Nerdregard. And we are coming into this match after Pierette Saint Nerdregard ran in to save Adelphe from a Conchairto at Anglemania 19 Ass 2 Mouth, DREAMY You know it’s funny the Nerdlys and Nerdregards are mad at me and Tabby. They can take a lesson from all the washed up models and actress in LA. Actually they can take a lesson from you, Sara Jean. SARA JEAN Me? DREAMY No matter how hot you are one day, the next day someone hotter will always come along. You’ve obviously been supplanted by Annie Idol, who is waaaaaaaay cuter than you! And me and Tabby have supplanted the Nerdlys and Nerdregards. And like we keep saying there’s more where we came from. So if Pierette doesn’t like a Conchairto then that’s too bad. Because we’re about to introduce a Symphony to Raw Is Whore! Hahaahha! COMING UP NEXT: DREAMY VS ADELPHE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 ***Dreamy Vs Adelphe Saint Neredregard*** Dreamy entered to “Death by Rock And Roll” by The Pretty Reckless Jenny died of suicideWith a candle burnin' in her eyeBut on my tombstone when I goJust put "Death by Rock and Roll" RENEE Dreamy, the daughter of The Sandman9000, grew up in the very ritzy community of Lake Oswego, Oregon. Her dad had a kendo stick, and a parole officer but she had a yacht and a private tutor. ALIX Dreamy has been rubbing people the wrong way since The Reactor. Crystal says she has never in her life trained a more rebellious, more know it all student than Dreamy. Adelphe entered to Need To Be Loved by BT So little time, so little time - I'm so frustratedSo little joy, so little joy - It's complicatedSo little time, so little time, time to work it on outYeah yeah So little joy, so little joy - It's complicatedI feel I'm stumbling in the dark - SomnambulatedI feel my heart seekin' the sparks, and prayin' for loveLove lovePrayin' for love Simply being loved loved lovedSimply being loved loved lovedSimply being loved loved lovedIs more than enough, yeah yeahSimply being loved loved lovedSimply being loved loved lovedSimply being loved loved lovedIs more than enough, yeah yeah RENEE Anglemania 19 Ass 2 Mouth left us with open mouths as Adelphe Wally’s sister Pierette returned to save Adelphe from a conchairto. ALIX Tabitha and Pierette have been banned from ringside like many men in my family have been banned from playgrounds. But if Dreamy tries anything funny you can bet Pierette will stab the heart and soul out of the Sandman’s daughter! Dreamy got up in Adelphe’s face, talking trash, then Dreamy was the one who had the nerve to get offended! Thus The Dream Machine took a swing at Adelphe! But the ginger ducked the attack turned the tables on Dreamy with knife edge chops! The flurry left the Lake Oswego, Oregon native reeling. That led her Canadian foe to charge forward…only for the raven haired Hottie to back drop her over the ropes! DREAMY Not talking about anyone in particular, ADELPHE, but I hope all my haters get Covid! ALIX See, if Covid was real it would be tasteless. But it’s mind control psy ops by Bill Gates and the Democratic Elite Republic of Congo to implant us with microchips to make us forget Val Venis ever refereed for TMW. Check out more on my Twitter! RENEE You probably shouldn’t. Dreamy left the ring and promptly rammed Adelphe back first into the steel guardrail! “I’M HARDCORE! I’M HARDCORE! I’M HARDCORE!” She chanted, tough no one followed her cue. RENEE It’s kind of odd that Dreamy is from Lake Oswego, Oregon. That’s one of the richest community’s in the country. But her father dressed like, look like and fought like a psycho! ALIX Ozzy Osbourne’s kids grew up in Beverly Hills. RENEE Good point! ALIX That’s why you should follow my Twitter. I go deep undercover to find the secret lair of Lizard people smuggling in Vietnamese children to work in Amazon warehouses! Dreamy pounded on Adelphe outside even as Referee D’Lo ordered The Dream Machine to get back into the ring. “I LOVE YOU ADELPHE!” A middle aged man in a vintage Sk8r Boiz sweat shirt shouted. DREAMY Your chances of getting with her are about as real as a North West oil painting! Hahahah! RENEE Insulting a 7 year old’s artwork. Very classy. The Lake Oswego, OR native then dropped her popular foe throat first across the guardrail! Adelphe recoiled in pain as the fans looked on in worry. Well, all except a downs syndrome man who just received a delicious chocolate ice cream cone from one of the Fluffers. DREAMY Don’t mind if I do!! Yes, Dreamy snatched the Ice Cream cone from a Down syndrome man! DOWN SYNDROME MAN That mine! DREAMY It’s mine now, loser! ALIX At least she didn’t dump it on his head. Dreamy dumped the ice cream on the young man’s head! “BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ALIX Wow! I have ESP! I’m so glad I didn’t wear a condom when I fucked that John. RENEE ESP isn’t an STD! Justice was served as Adelphe spun Dreamy around and decked her with a right hand! “YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAA!” ADELPHE Adelphe Saint Nerdregard, the lady of darkness, stands with you! DOWNS SYNDROME MAN I’m special! ALIX Me too! RENEE The jokes write themselves sometimes. Our ginger heroine tossed Dreamy back into the ring, but endured a sudden lariat from The Sandman’s daughter when she stepped through the ropes. The Dream Machine then dropped a swift leg onto Adelphe’s left arm, leaving Adelphe hollering in pain. ALIX That’s the arm Adelphe uses for the Luminary Uppercut. Why can’t she use the right arm? Folks, just imagine trying to stroke with your left hand when you been using the right hand since Sable was on TV! The ginger pulled away, but got hounded by Dreamy. Showing some killer instinct, The Dream Machine hammered Adelphe’s arm before snapping it over with an arm drag! Cover… ONE TWO! Shoulder up! ALIX You ain’t gotta like Dreamy, but you do gotta respect the strategy of forcing Adelphe to get the shoulder up with that weakened arm. The raven haired Hottie cinched in a keylock, thinking she’d have her Canadian foe tapping within seconds. But instead Adelphe drew on the support of the Toy Box to fight free of The Dream Machine’s hold! RENEE I think Dreamy is going to have to break that arm if she wants Adelphe to tap. ALIX Hheeh, I’m gonna draw a penis on the cast! Dreamy snatched hold of Adelphe’s afflicted arm and then sprung off the ropes in hopes of hitting a tornado single arm DDT. Yet, Adelphe pulled her in close and smashed her knee off the Oregonian’s face! Panicked at losing control of the match, Dreamy pitched Adelphe onto the ring apron. But the raven haired Hottie soon found her face smashed into the turnbuckle post! ALIX Dreamy’s sleepy eyes almost at risk of being shut for night-night! Or as my dad called it “touch-touch.” RENEE Yikes! Adelphe waved on Dreamy as only a Raw Is Whore hottie could… Dreamy charged in, thinking she could bump Adelphe off the apron. She thought wrong as Adelphe hit her with a slingshot dropkick! The Celestial Cum Craver then struck her annoying foe a leaping snapmare! RENEE Blazing Light! ADELPHE Evil begone! After that shout, Adelphe cracked Dream with a shining wizard! RENEE I don’t know about evil, but Dreamy’s senses might be gone! The cover… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Dreamy started to feel less like the Sandman’s daughter and more like the Sandman’s victim as her head was ringing! The Oregon native staggered upright with the ginger behind her, rotating her arm and yelling… ADELPHE LUMINARY UPPERCUT! But Dreamy ducked the attack! The Dream Machine then hurried to hook onto Adelphe’s arms and began twisting her around for an UNPRETTIER! However, Adelphe broke free and hit another leaping snapmare known as Blazing Light! ALIX I haven’t seen such a string of ginger dominance since I challenged Brian Scalabrine to a one on one game at Y! RENEE Are you sure that was Brian Scalabrine and not just some random ginger who drained threes on you? Adelphe leaped onto the top turnbuckle with amazing grace! But TABITHA, who was lost, now was found… as she shoved the ginger off the top rope! RENEE Hey! As Dreamy had the official distracted Adelphe went splat beyond proper notice! Naturally, The Dream Machine pounced on the opportunity at hand; the raven haired Hottie twisted her foe around and delivered the devastating Unprettier! The cover… ONE! TWO! THREE! Winner: Dreamy, via pinfall Post-match Dreamy and Tabitha gathered a pair of chairs and surrounded Adelphe! ALIX Damn it, don’t do this! She has a family! DREAMY We promised to deliver a touch of class, a bit of culture to the asses…excuse me I mean masses of the Raw Is Whore Galaxy! And what better way toOHSHITTTTTT! RENEE It’s Pierette! ALIX And DA SCISSORS~! PIERETTE KYHAHAHAHAHAAH! Dreamy and Tabitha may have the chairs but they hauled ass out of the ring and away from Pierette! The problem is Pirette chased after them! RENEE Pierette’s hot on their hot tails! DREAMY Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Dreamy and Tabitah are so scared they dive into a LAUNDRY BASKET! Lucky for them Pirette ran by! PIERETTE KYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! ALIX That ain’t a normal laundry basket, that’s a Raw Is Whore laundry basket. RENEE ……..Oh my god! Ewwwwwwwww! ALIX They would rather huddle up in dried cum rags than offer a heartfelt apology. You hate to see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 Backstage, interviewer Terry Taylor finds himself in the middle of a sexy sandwich, joined by Hotties tag champions Chicks Over Black Dicks and Woke Queens. TERRYLater tonight the Hotties tag titles will be on the line as Woke Queens — fresh off their successful AngleMania reunion — challenge Chicks Over Black Dicks in a match featuring two of the OAOAST’s most popular teams! HOW2GIRLAnd law-abiding citizens! TORIRight! You won’t see any broken rules! EPONINEOnly broken bones.... Tori gulps. EPONINE (CONT’D)... if you don’t tap out to the Heart of Ice. Worst case scenario though. ISABELLA*squeals* Isn’t Tori just the cutest, Ebb? (to Tori) I just wanna pet you! EUPHORIA (O.S.)Did somebody say cute? The Jersey devil trying life on the side of the angels enters wearing the fur coat longtime readers will remember from the Tony Tourettes affair. EUPHORIA *chewing gum* Whatcha guys doing? TERRYThey’re talking about their upcoming Hotties tag title match. EUPHORIA Ooh! I’d sneak in to see that one! No, I mean pay because stealing is bad... unless done for good! TERRYBad like a senior citizen asking a pretty young girl if she’d feel more comfortable taking her coat off standing in front of all these hot lights? The girls shoot Terry a look. TERRYAhem. So! What brings you here? 😊 EUPHORIA Can’t a girl hang with her bestie and her sidepiece? TORISidepiece? EUPHORIA Hey, I’ve got no problems sharing. More love to go around! And what the world needs is love, right? EPONINEThis is getting awkward. ISABELLAYeah. And I know a thing or two about that. Or so I’ve been told. Like is it really that weird to receive a message from your sister? EUPHORIA Family therapy is don’t-give-a-fuck down, Lena Dunham. Right now it’s friendship time! Come on, hot T-Mali, we’ve gotta prepare! Euphoria drags Tori away, leaving H2G to catch up. ISABELLA Pfft. (under breath) Bitch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 Annie Idol stands in the ring, boobs nearly popping out an unbuttoned white blouse. For the butt man in all of us she wears a pair of booty hugging jeans. ANNIE Ladies and gentlemen of the OAOAST Galaxy please give it up for….ANNAGRET WICKEDBORN! Collette Carr’s Sex hits and out comes leggy Snowbunny, Annagret… Sex, the way you move it make me wanna Sex, question is are we gonna Sex, we ain't kids... Sex, I know we just met but listen Sex, the way you move it make me wanna Sex, question is are we gonna Sex, we ain't kids... Sex, no disrespect but I need your sex Face down, ass up, that's the way I shake my butt RENEE Annagret Wickedborn here seen by herself. Her big sister Cinnamon is off doing promo work Last Chance Ranch in Laredo, Texas. ALIX Heheheheeheh. RENEE What’s so funny? ALIX She’s off fucking a horse! Hheheheheeheh! ANNIE Annagret, my sources tell me you have a problem. What’s wrong? ANNAGRET Don’t what’s wrong me! Everyone knows what’s wrong. ANNIE How covid is affecting the wrestling industry? ANNAGRET What?! Oh-my-gosh, who cares about how covid is affecting the stupid wrestling industry! I’m talking about how Zelda Bazil is affecting my life! That…that…pint sized dork is lucky I’m in the ring and not swinging a crowbar backstage. ANNIE It’s that serious?! ANNAGRET She made me lose the match at Anglemania. I never lose! Zelda Bazil, this ring, NOW! ALIX Good luck with that. Zedla’s about as brave as uhhhh a thing that’s uhhhh not brave. RENEE Brilliantly stated. But lo and behold Zelda did come out, although quite nervous. Despite a trembling figure, she managed to step into the ring. ZELDA Hello? ANNAGRET Hello?! Is that all you have to say?! Do you know who I am? I’m Barack Obama’s favorite Hottie! I got Kanye into white women! Do you know what you did to me? ZELDA Ummmm…..no? ANNAGRET No! You made me TRIP over you at Anglemania and that uber GEEK How2Girl hit me with Fanfare for The Supergirl! Do you know who I am? I’m a literal goddess! I’m the daughter of Odin! I never lose! You’re gonna suffer for that, midget. ZELDA Midget? ANNIE Don’t worry, you’re not THAT short. ANNAGRET Yes you are, midget! Get me a referee! Referee Scotty 2 Hotty hustles out from backstage, spikey hair and all! ZELDA But I’m sleepy. ANNAGRET Good. Because if you keep pissing me off you’re gonna take a dirt nap! Leave, Annie. ANNIE But she doesn’t want to fight. ANNAGRET I said leave! Annie wants no parts of a pissed off Annagret and with a frown of regret leaves the ring. Thus we have our match… ***Zelda Bazil Vs Annagret Wickedborn*** RENEE I guess we have a match? Or a mismatch! Let me be clear, everybody, this is a two time OAOAST women’s champion, one time OAOAST women’s tag champion, and literal goddess versus Remy’s sister. ALIX Unfortunately, Remy didn’t teach Zelda the essential Bazil technique. RENEE What’s that? ALIX Apologize and beg off like a punk. Annagret wouldn’t let Zelda off the hook at this point and showed it by shoving her to the ground! ZELDA That hurt. ANNAGRET Good! Get up! ZELDA But, I’m sleepy. ALIX If that was an excuse, Jon Moxley would never have sex. RENEE Hey! Annagret forced the sleepy Hottie into the corner where she proceeded to torment her with a choke! Our crack camera guy got a great shot of Annagret’s long legs at work…’ ALIX Chocolate nut clusters are usually what Annagret looks for but right now she’s eating up Zelda for dinner! At the official’s request, Annagret broke the hold. This left Zelda behind, gagging and wheezing. ANNAGRET I’m supposed to have an anal shoot with Jax Slayher! How can I show my face on set now? ZELDA Wear a mask? ANNAGRET Ugh, that was a rethroical question! A peeved Snowbunny came charging in only for Zelda to dodge out the way. The Louisiana native thought she might be able to escape, but Annagret recovered and snatched onto her flowing hair. ANNAGRET Going somewhere? ZELDA No. ANNAGRET Do you not know what rhetorical means? Annagret threw Zelda into the corner and proceeded to torment the little one while bring us pervs to new highs with another choke… RENEE She’s got legs and she knows how to use em! ALIX Either spread wide open for a black bull or choking some poor white bitch. Annagret offered Zelda a free shot which as one could guess didn’t do much damage to the Norse goddess. The Asgardian responded by hitting Zelda with a boot to the gut followed by her trademark scissors kick! RENEE Widows Wail!! Snowbunny called for her Styles Clash finisher on what looked to be an already finished opponent. But as the leggy blond picked up the short blond, MISS KUNT shocked the world by coming off the top and making Annagret bite her … ALIX SHINY METAL VAG! Annagret took a few rights and lefts before she realized she wanted nothing to do with Kunt-Fu! That didn’t stop her from promising revenge though. Just from a safe distance. ALIX I see Annagret picked up Bazil tricks: talk shit far away from the dangerous people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 We’re in a state of the art High School Classroom but not for reasons you might expect, which would be Pete-O fuckery. No, instead we find.... ETTA KITT ETTA KITT Grettings, students, I am your teacher Etta Kitt and class is in session. Ah, it’s been a while since I could say that. Not since uly 27th 1995 when the Tulsa schoolboard asked me to chose between my classroom and the wrestling ring. That day I took a chance on the great sport of professional grappling and my own talents therewithin. But, I continued to teach classes. Only my classes were in the ring and taught to the likes of Megumi Quest, Princess Danger, Malaysia Nerdly, Gina Toyota, Princess Jasmine and more. This year of 2021, I step back onto the shores of America as an employe of the OAOAST and I find both fan and athlete need learning. So sit down, open your iPads and take quality notes. Etta flips on her powerpoint to the word legend. ETTA Legend, a person or thing of great renown. Examples are Marie Currie, Rosa Parks, and Etta Kitt. These women are legends. Yes, I am a legend. No woman in the Joshi industry, not Princess Danger, not Princess Jasmine, no woman has the body of work along with the quality of work I can boast of. Yet, unlike the two princesses, I will not boast. Because class, self-praise is no praise. That is what a legend is, class. A legend is not a fat food addict with a hefty gut, with her breasts popping out of her skimpy wrestling attire, shaking her….glutes for the entire world to see and calling it empowerment! That is not a legend! That is a… Etta flips to her next slide which reads PIG ETTA That is a PIG! A filthy, FAT PIG! Back in my day, men wouldn’t lust after that type of creature. They would shame it. Now days these so called men have their genitials out the moment this PIG waddles out to her vulgar entrance song. And I think you know who this pig is. This pig is Jade Rodez-Duncan, who probably thinks it’s a compliment that I call her a pig. After all, her nickname is Sowee and she oinks during sexual intercourse! Sexual intercourse, which she has in public for all of your visual consumption! Not just any type of sexual intercourse but anal sexual intercourse. This filthy animal allows men to enter her anal cavity for your visual consumption. Disgusting! Outrageous! I can’t believe it! I am appalled! What has the world come to where she is being upheld as a living legend?! What has my sport come to? Etta flips her Powerpoint to the next slide…destroy. ETTA A simple word, but I’m dealing with simple minds. Destroy. What I will do to Jade Rodez-Duncan. I attacked her at Angleamania 19. I let that be a warning to keep herself away from the Toy Box. If she does not heed my warning, if the pig returns, then I will make bacon. Class dismissed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 *** Hotties Tag Team Title: Woke Queens vs. Chicks Over Black Dicks © *** Typically a match between fan favorites would split support or swing towards one side, but the only thing leaning on this night was the socially distanced crowd against their seats to stroke off! ALIXLike the song said, it doesn’t matter who wins the fight. Just beat it. RENEEActually... Never mind. Sportsmanship was on display as both teams shook hands and then engaged in a good clean fight. Eponine Black schooled Tori Malibu on the mat early but was no match for the power of How2Girl. Then in miracle sequence Isabella Spezia and Tori dazzled the audience with various monkey flips, headscissors and a crisscross spot that ended with them giving each other air kisses on the cheeks! ALIX If only their lips had touched those other cheeks! Ebb got a second crack at H2G and went after her wheels, effectively reducing the super heroine’s strength advantage to the point even Isabella could deliver damage. But a desperation high knee broke COBD’s momentum and nearly sweet Isabella’s jaw! A blow that nearly resulted in a title change if not for Ebb breaking new legal participant Tori’s cover. This put the champs back in the driver’s seat while H2G recovered, but Tori held tough long enough to make a tag! RENEEWhat resiliency shown by Tori! What toughness exhibited by How2Girl! With Tori slumped on the apron H2G went 2 on 1, though it could be argued the tag champs were the ones handicapped against the likes of H2G. Instead an unlikely visitor arrived in hopes of evening the odds, as EUPHORIA rushed to check on Tori; even going as far to perform chest compressions! Unfortunately T-Mal showed signs of life so out sent plans for mouth-to-mouth, but Euphoria did get the bright idea to take Tori’s place in the bout, stunning H2G with a tag and then Isabella by wailing away on her! RENEEWhat the heck does Euphoria think she’s doing? ALIXHelping when she’s actually hurting! Of course this causes a DQ. When confronted by Woke Queens all Euphoria can do is her best “Did I do that?” Urkel impression. Equally unhappy with Euphoria are the champs, which Tori does her best to defuse. Like a child caught between arguing parents Euphoria can’t deal with it any longer and runs away. Winners: Chicks Over Black Dicks, via DQ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 We’re taken to a set that looks awfully like Dr Oz’s set. But there’s no Quack here! Just two super hot Hotties in Bobbi Cheesecake behind the desk and December Belle at the the sidekick chair! BOBBI The Summer Freakazoid and The Winter Freakazoid are your hookup for the most thotrageous interview segment ever seen on streaming! I’m Bobbi Cheesecake and this December Belle, were the Freakazoids and this is the FREAK SHOW! DECEMBER Heheheheheh. BOBBI What’s so funny? DECEMBER We’re the Freakazoids and our show is the Freakshow. Heheheh. Clever. BOBBI Uh…yea. So, in current events- DECEMBER You’re clever, Bobbi. You should be on TV. BOBBI Hey, call my agent. I had an opening monologue ready, but I can feel this plane crashing so maybe we should skip that and get straight to our guest. DECEMBER We have guests? BOBBI We sure do! Please welcome the woman who I think lives my credence of Horny Spirit! Sammi Cayley! Years go, limit some once fast Swallowing the past Making something last I've seen you at your lowest of low Watching your demons grow Struggle you won't show Maybe I got plans for you And you take care of me My blood brother, fight for me Sammi struts onto set wearing a shimmering red and gold strapless dress that shows off a whole lot of leg! SAMMI Bobbi, December, thank you so much for allowing me the honor of me being your first guest. BOBBI Sammi, girl, you get the tents popping and the ratings popping. SAMMI That I do. BOBBI And The Freakazoids are all about our demos and our limos! DECEMBER Heheheh I like rhymes. Do you like rhymes, Sammi? BOBBI What kind of first question is that?! SAMMI A great one as a matter of fact. I may not look it, but for a time I was living in a nightmare, wondering if there was anybody out there. There were monsters underneath my bed, soon to leave me for dead. DECEMBER Rhymes! She really rhymes! BOBBI MC Sammi on the track! SAMMI But as I dealt with referees defacing my 800 dollar Gucci luggage…a brother with continual concussion issues…another estranged brother accusing me of endangering the concussed brother’s life,…and cousins who wanted my blood for what my father did to their mother I felt cornered. BOBBI But you’re The Lioness! SAMMI And an animal is most dangerous when cornered. That is why I extended a phone call to the one woman in my life who possessed both my unbreakable trust and the strength to match my Pride…I do not use this term loosely she is my best friend, she is BREA BREA! BOBBI The demo is skyrocketing, peeps! Here comes Brea Brea! Uh-oh, running out of breath, but I Oh, I, I got stamina Uh-oh, running now, I close my eyes Well, oh, I got stamina And uh-oh, I see another mountain to climb But I, I, I got stamina Uh-oh, I need another lover, be mine Cause I, I, I got stamina Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no Brea emerges, dressed much more casually than sammi in a red and white stripped tube top and and bright green cargo pants! BOBBI Brea, what the entire world wants to know is- DECEMBER I’m white so I should be okay to use Gorilla glue on my extensions. Right? EVERYONE NO! BOBBI (reading off laptop screen) Brea, I think @AssMunchBurgers is asking what we all are asking, why come off an injury at the hands of someone uber tough like Lady XFL to face TWO uber tough Hotties in the Nasty Boyds and their crooked manager Wally Nerdregard. SAMMI Correction. Their Crooked Weasel Face Manager. BREA BREA That’s an easy Q to A, Bobbi. My best friend needed me. I don’t care if she was fighting the Nasty Boyd’s, Men-U-Pause, Fire & Ice and Chicks Over Dicks, I’d be right at her side. DECEMBER They’re coming at you every way, and there’s no letting up, and if you run they’ll chase you back again… BREA BREA Exactly. I’m gonna stand with Sammi and fight! That’s pretty smart of you, December. DECEMBER Huh? Oh, I wasn’t really paying attention to you. I’m annotating Storm Bellmare’s entrance music for genius.com SAMMI There’s a certain irony in you writing for a site called genius. And there may be an irony in the ultimate nice girl teaming with The Lioness. But we are The Mega Hotties. Unlike Drake we did not start from the bottom. We started at the top and we will stay at the top until we gain the tag team titles! BREA BREA And beyond! You wanna know what Zeus said to NarcissusYou'd betta watch yourselfYou wanna know what Zeus said to NarcissusYou'd better watch yourselfYou'd better watch yourself At the sounds of Deep Six by “Mairlyn Manson” come The Nasty Boyds and their manager Wally Nerdregard! NIKKI Somebody call my mom because she’s about to be short a niece and a daughter! Because I’m gonna leave her niece with a snapped neck and the LAPD will never take me alive! BRIT Inmate Brea, this isn’t your fight. Go home and be a family woman. NIKKI You’re lucky you’re just getting a warning, Inmate Brea, and not double penetrated with our night sticks! DECEMBER That sounds fun. NIKKI It’s not supposed to sound fun! RFN Hey, listen, Bobbi, December, you say only care about your limos and your demos? You’re gonna be driving Chevy Traxs because your demo will s gonna disappear into thin air! You should have had Referee Wally Nerdregard as your first guest. I’m the biggest star in the company, people across the globe worship me! And Brea Brea you’re gonna need that gorilla glue because as punishment for sticking your nose in family business we’re gonna chop of those pretty blond curls! BREA BREA I could use a hairstylist appointment. Let’s go! There’s an attack alright! But it comes from behind courtesy of THE MIDNUGHT FOXES! ALIX Caeldori and Ruby! Brit holds her sister back so she can survey the scene. And what a scene it is with Caeldori hits Sammi with teardro suplex! CAELDORI Say My Name! Brea has more fight in her, but in the end suffers the fate of a pile driver from Ruby onto Bobbi’s desk! ALIX This shit is crazier than when I had a cocaine psychosis attack on Ellen! RENNE But why? Why did The Midnight Foxes attack The Mega Hotties? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 Backstage we find… PENNY MARS Walking downthe hallway with… KATHY KAREN KELLY PENNY I can’t believe Skylar is gonna let Dasha skate by. That Ukraninian moron didn’t just cost Skylar the OVARY title, she cost all of us the OVARY title! KKK Penny, Skylar has a nice “radical listening” session planned for Dasha. PENNY Radical listening? Dasha needs some radical stretching! KKK Hheheheheh PENNY What’s so funny? KKK There will be plenty of that, Penny. Radical stretching, radical bending, radical breaking. And, Pleny- DREAMY (OS) Pst! Pst! KKK Dreamy? Is that you? Dreamy and Tabitha peak their heads out the laundry basket they’ve been hiding in! TABITHA Babies, sweeties, have you seen Pierette nearby? PENNY Pierette? DREAMY Ginger ho with the scissors? PENNY Haven’t seen her. DREAMY Hhahaahh! Dream come true! Dreamy pops out the laundry basket and helps Tabitha out as well. TABITHA My skirt is wrinkled. Daddykins will have to buy me a new one! KRISTA (OS) Disgraceful, shameful! I haven't seen such cowardice since Mister Dick got the All American Boys to fight Faqu for him by convincing them he shat on the American Flag. The RIW GM… KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN arrives with THE DOLL, her assistant GM THE DOLL Pierette hopped in a Lyft and is halfway to Carlsbad looking for you. Happy now? DREAMY Who uses Lyft? TABITHA Dollsy, Kris, can’t you do something about that mad woman? She’s giving me anxiety attacks and anxiety attacks cause wrinkles and my skin is much too glamrous to have wrinkles at such a beautiful young age. I know you two wouldn’t understand… THE DOLL😡 KRISTA I’ll tell you what I can do…I can put you two in the ring across from Pierette and Adelphe in a tag team match with their cousin Titania Nerdly as the special guest referee. That’s what I can do! DREAMY But- THE DOLL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 27, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2021 ***Non Title Match: Hard On Hoes Champion, Maya Duncan-Blanchard Vs Ladybird Jones W/LeBrenda James*** Ladybird entered to “Champions” by Ron Artest… MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE CHAMPIONS! But the focus was on the retro Minneapolis Laker jersey sporting LeBrenda sliding into Sofa Central. ALIX LeBrenda! Finally a woman who appreciates basketball as much I do. And since I have you here let me run this radical change to the sport by you. Introducing the SLASHING FORWARD! RENEE Not again… ALIX He is only allowed to shoot in and immediately around the paint. This area would be signalized with court paint. If the slahser does happen to shoot and make it beyond the restricted area, a point is subtracted from the team. The slasher is allowed to run out of bounds and would ideally be a wing player. The purpose of the SLASHING FORWARD would be to create easy high percentage buckets by allowing the player to go anywhere on the court. LEBRENDA With that bit of nonsense out the way, the champion entered to “Pull Up On Me” by Alizz… I Don't Need A boyfriend, I just wanna... I don't need your money I already got some I should come with a warning I should come with a warning How do you pull up on a bad bitch, don't you know that I'm a bad bitch It don't matter if you mad rich Can you pull up on a bad bitch? Bad bitch like me Bad bitch like me Bad Bitch like me Bad bitch like me SO PULL UP ON ME~! LADYBIRD Look at this mama’s girl. She’s Jordan and Krista is Phil Jax, she can’t operate without mommy. I’ve been plotting on greatness since I was 9. We thought like organized crime members coming up...refused to lose, changing grades, getting out of class passes that lasted for weeks, gambling on tetherbal, video games, had NBA Live tourney. ALIX Live?! Renee, we’re dealing with one rugged Hoss! She put herself through NBA Live! Her parents should have been arrested for neglecting a child letting her play that trash. LEBRENDA I got some mean stuff, Alix, mean stuff. I ain’t with that silver spoon in my pussy action. I ain’t no linebacker standing in front of the MVP. I’m the MVP! When Maya and get to our basketball challenge I’m gonna take her to the farm and be silky like butter, DING DING DING MAYA I’m not too fond of this. LADYBIRD JONES What’s your issue? MAYA I hate fighting the side characters. LADYBIRD JONES Side characters?! MAYA Side. Character. I hated fighting Anastasia when I just needed to fight Melissa. I hated fighting that one bitch with the growth when I just wanted to fuck up Kendall Jenner. It’s annoying! Go away, shoo. LADYBIRD JONES I’m not going away. MAYA If you don’t go away it could get very ugly for you. LADYBIRD JONES Are you nuts? MAYA My mental health is the most important thing I have, and I don’t appreciate being referred to as nuts. And, you know what? I’m not wasting good material on you. Maya bopped Ladybird in the nose with a bunch! LEBRENDA Don’t take that! You got a family, Ladybird! You got pride, Ladybird! Apparently, Ladybird doesn’t have enough pride to stop Maya from using Lady’s own fist to punch the biracial Hottie in the face. MAYA Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself….am I even trying? The Harvard grad (LadyB) got the upper hand and shot Maya into the corner. There the champ suffered through a series of shoulder thrusts. A snapmare followed those attacks then a kick to spine landed! ALIX Maya is a journeywoman when it comes to penis, but I have a feeling she’ll be holding the title for a long time. RENEE Nice sports tie in! The Harvard Grad, Ladybird, hit a backbreaker then paused to admire her work. Unfortunately, that led to Maya jumping up and bopping her on the nose yet again. The Harvard grad recoiled and promptly suffered a go behind, followed by a very dangerous release German suplex. REFEREE TITANIA Maya, you dropped her on her neck! You could have killed her! MAYA And nothing of value is lost. Now, is everyone ready to see some uh…breasts…do I really have to put an effort in for Ladybird?! Her name is Lady. Bird. Ladybird! Who’s next Butterfly Bosh? Weasel Wade? LEBRENDA Get your ass up, Jones! You got a family watching! Ladybird got up and ran Maya all the way into the corner. Pride took over, and Ladybrid bashed the Hard on Hoes champ with more shoulder thrusts. LEBRENDA You got a mama watching! Mama Ladybird would be proud as her big girl gave Maya a big hip toss to the center of the ring! Maya staggered to her fight and promptly got put down by a dropkick. ALIX LeBrenda, I live with Maya. Is there a message you’d like to pass onto her? LEBRENDA Tell her she’s lucky I stay in Akron still. Tell Maya if I lived in LA, her entire lifestyle would never be the same. I would make her run like everybody else. Its nothing. No fucking mama’s girl is gonna tell me anything. Ever. LadyB bashed Maya with clubbing forearms as she pulled the brunette Hottie off the mat. From there the hungry basketball star sent the champ into the ropes only for Maya to come back with a flying flipping neckbreaker! A high flipping neckbreaker that Maya sloppily executed and twisted Ladybird’s neck! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Because why the fuck not: ANNIE IDOL our well meaning if not well intelligent reporter, was on the scene… ANNIE Annie Idol, with this sidelide report! Maya, you may have broke Ladybird’s neck for a second time! MAYA YOLO LEBRENDA You looking less like Ladybird Jones and more like Solomon Jones! ALIX Oh no! Flashbacks! Flashbacks! Get him off my team! Get him off! Ladybird took the criticism to heart and leg swept Maya. She followed that with a nice senton to the back and then once again paused to admire her handiwork. MAYA Are you staring me down?! LADYBIRD Yeah, what you gonna do? Ladybird would have been rise to run. Away. Instead she ran towards Maya and endured a swift Pele Kick from the former varsity soccer star! LEBRENDA Pffft soccer. Turn that shit off and put on some 720p LeBron PeeWee Church league highlights. Ladybird found her footing, though she might have been better off staying down. Somehow she blocked Maya’s right-left combo. Actually not somehow, Maya was too stupid to remember how the combo went. So the busty bimbo got drilled Maya with a discus lariat! RENEE Spin And Drive! LEBRENDA There we go. We in this! Oh no we ain’t because Maya kipped up in an instant! MAYA Ahhhh, burying the lower midcarders and looking so fucking hot while doing it… LEBRENDA What’s your mama gonna say, you getting your ass kicked like this?! That made great motivation for LadyB! She took Maya over her shoulder and gave her a run into the corner. Spurred on by her show of power, the Harvard grad lifted the girl who’d only get into Harvard if she took a tour onto the top turnbuckle. But within moments Maya headbutted Ladybird, knocking her to the ground! RENEE Well, there are not many braincells in there for Maya to lose. The brunette beauty went flying and smacked LadyB directly in the face with a missile dropkick! Much to her credit, the roughed up LadyB stumbled upright. Sadly for her that just led to her getting hit with an inverted atomic drop! RENEE Maya Butt Hurts! The champ surged across the ring, coming back to slaughter LadyBird with iMaya aka a leapfrog face crusher! “YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COVER… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREEE! Winner: Maya Duncan Blanchard, via pinfall! As Vince decreed HOGAN MUST POSE, Triple Patty decreed MAYA MUST WHORE! So to the applause of our socially distanced fans, our champion does the only thing she’s truly qualified too do besides wrestling and air humps away… But within moments, LeBrenda is in the ring with the title in her hand! But as Maya saw her coming there’s a tense standoff between the two. MAYA Ohhhhh I wish you would! I really wish you would hit me with my belt, LeBrenda! LeBrenda realized quickly hitting the daughter of the boss with the belt might not be the best idea. LEBRENDA Ugggggh! MAYA You’re shook! You should take your coward ass to church. LeBrenda couldn’t just take that lying down and took a swing at Maya! The champ ducked the attack and the belt went flying! You know what else went flying? LeBerenda James right up the entrance ramp! This left the champion triumphant and her newest rival cursing to herself. FADE OUT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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