Chanel #99 Posted July 3, 2020 Report Share Posted July 3, 2020 Out first for a promo were Lisa Ann, Fabian, Tristan and Queen Esther. LISA ANN The Ho that runs the show is back!.Blanchefleur, I can’t believe you thought you could keep me down. I’ve got legs, tits, ass and all the power, Shell Gang, and you’re going to pay. Remember what I said last week about your Anglemania matches? Painbow, you’ve got Blaine Cayley in a last man standing match. Wesley Singleton you can look forward to going one on one with Tristan Nystrom. Alexander and Logan Mann, you can try to handle ReX. And- FABIAN Iggy, you’ve got me, baby! One on one for the gold! Iggy, you’re more like a movie character than a wrestler. You remind me of my favorite movie, Forest Gump. I remember that one when it came out. I saw it four times in theatres. I remember the famous quote everyone was saying back then when you were just a little boy. Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when you’re going to get a piece of shit named Ignatius Maddix! Ignatius Maddix you’re still a little boy to me! I was grown in the 90’s, and I was grown a thousand years before you were even a thought! I am your daddy, jackass! And after how you guys turned on me then tried to take my career from me, papa’s not gonna get mad, papa’s not gonna get even, papa’s gonna get the gold! TRISTAN Wesley, they call me the conscience of TMW. As if I’m a good guy. Fabian and I, our father claimed that most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it. But I’m done with denials. I am who I am; Tristan Nystrom, murderous vampire, oathbreaker, motherless, friendless, and damned. For the rest of my life—however long that might be—I seemed to condemned to be an outsider, the silent man standing in the shadows who only emerges to enact some semblance of justice to ease his guilty heart. Wesley, the wheels of justice are grinding and at Anglemania they will roll over you. QUEEN ESTHER My, this quite wonderful! Such brave talk! It invigorates me. It motivates me! And even I have felt the spirit of fighting in my heart! Blanchefleur, tonight I say you and I shall engage in fisticuffs! RENEE What?! TRISTAN Queen Esther, are you sure you know what you’re getting into? QUEEN ESTHER Yes! Let us brawl for the sake of our grand ideals! I would like that very much! My ancestors may have lost the revolutionary war, but I shan't lose this match. Blanchefleur, I shall…I shall…layeth the smacketh downeth on your roody poo candy ass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2020 ***The Union Jets Vs Das Wrestling Machine*** The Union Jets entered to “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins… RENEE This match came about because The Union Jets saved Luther Mandella, the leader of BLK from a beat down from Das Wrestling Machine on our last episode. REJECT Sort of a you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours aka get you a title shot. Except I wouldn’t trust BLK. Not because their black though. RENEE Gotta be careful what you say! Das Wrestling Machine entered to “Du Hast” by Rammestien. RENEE Two different people on one tag team. White Lothar likes to pick his battles but Reignhardt is always itching to fight. REJECT Reighnhardt reminds me a lot of Fit Finaly while White Lothar reminds me of a Chris Jericho or Landon Maddix, Reignhardt wanted to brawl with C-4 and C-4 was up for it! The two men slugged it out, before a frustrated Reignhardt switched gears and threw C-4 with a belly to belly! But C-4 got up and decked Reignhardt with a lariat! REJECT C-4 is no small man. He’s got a lot of power in that body. Tom Smith got the tag and dizzied Reignhardt with a pair of a hurricanranas, But when he tried a third, White Lothar held onto his partner so he wouldn’t go down. But when it was time for a tag… WHITE LOTHAR I believe I’m best served supporting you on the apron. Reignhardy ground down Tom Smith with a brawling offense. Yet when he tried to his two-handed chokeslam, Tom Smith flipped out the hold. The Brit then connected with a dropsault that smacked Reignhardt on in the mouth, drawing blood. WHITE LOTHAR It isn’t a fight unless you bleed. Good job! RENEE What an ass! C-4 came into the ring and resumed his brawl with Reinghardt. Even as his partner bled, White Lothar still wouldn’t tag in. But suddenly there was chaos as JOSE CANTU-SI yanked White Lothar off the apron and delivered Sweet Chin Music! At the same, PIKE PANTERA tore through Tom Smith with a gore! RENEE Smoking Gun! After heading backstage, Juicy was confronted by Terry Taylor, who is very lucky to still have a job all things considered. TERRY Pike Pantera, Juicy Cantu-Si, what are you doing? JUICY SHUT UP! The tag division is run by us! Lisa Ann calls herself the ho that runs the show? But when it comes to the tag titles, we’re the bros that run the show! Suddenly BLK arrived and attacked Pike and Juicy! Things got even more chaotic as DAS WRESTLING MACHINE and THE UNION JETS came brawling backstage! Soon the whole thing was a fourway brawl! And from that we cut to Josh Matthews who was with Big Papa Thrust… JOSH Big Papa Thrust, Lisa Ann has granted you a match with Bedrock tonight. After Bedrock raped both your Freakazoids what can we expect? BPT snatched the mic out Josh’s hands! In fact he walked towards the guerilla position with the mic in hand. BPT I’m here to kick some ass! BPT storms into the Toybox proper… BPT I’m here to kick Bedrock’s ass! BPT got into the ring, clearing out a pair of Studs who were having a untelevised match.. BPT I’m here to say Bedrock sucks! So Bedrock get on out here! You loincloth wearing queer bastard! You can come out here and kiss my ass! Bitch! RENEE This is insanity from Big Papa Thrust! REJECT You don’t just call out Bedrock. Bedrock is as crazy as BPT. Even crazier. “Trogoldyte” By Jimmy Castor Brunch hits (yes Bedrock has entrance music) and Bedrock rushes to the ring! RENEE We have a match! ***Bedrock vs Big Papa Thrust*** As Referee D’Lo Brown hit the ring, Bedrock tackled Big Papa Thrust. The caveman began raining down punches on BPT’s face! REJECT Big Papa Thrust told Bedrock to slide through and Bedrock slid! Big Papa Thrust turns the table and sent his foe into the ropes. Bedrock came back with a clothesline that failed to floor the muscle-bound vampire. BIG PAPA THRUST Give it to me, you queer bastard! Bedrock got angry and started hammering BPT with punches. The punches backed the former Galaxy champion into the corner. But BPT powered Bedrock to the mat with a side belly to belly suplex! BIG PAPA THRUST I said give it to me! The two traded blows until Big Papa Thrust sent Bedrock flying with an overhead belly to belly suplex! REJECT I’ve been wrapped up in Big Papa Thrust’s arms before and it is not a fun feeling. No homo. Bedrock tried a powerslam, but it was blocked by BPT. Worse yet, the vampire knocked him out the ring with a lariat! BPT wouldn’t let up and began slamming Bedrock’s face into the steel steps! It was a brutal attack that left Bedrock leaking blood from his nose! Big Papa Thrust’s vampire instincts took over and he began feasting on Bedrock’s blood! RENEE Oh my god! This is nuts! Obviously, that wasn’t cool with Bedrock and he used his power to push Big Papa Thrust over the guardrail! Furious at being blood sucked, Bedrock hammered BPT with a nearby trash can! The caveman then grabbed a stud and flung him into BPT, sending both men tumbling! REJECT D’Lo’s going to have to call this match off. The ring couldn’t contain the hatred BPT has for Bedrock. D’Lo did just as Reject said calling for a double count out. Winner: NO ONE But the brawl continued, both men passing into the backstage area. There was a leftover rifle from Civil Whores that BPT batted into the gut of Bedrock. With his foe stunned, BPT dragged him outside to the parking lot. Sumeragi of SMUSH fame was just arriving in a Prius and was summarily thrown out his car by BPT. The former Galaxy champion popped the trunk. But when he went to get Bedrock, the caveman battered him with a steel pipe to the face! REJECT Bedrock had to do that! Who knows what that maniac Big Papa was going to do with him? Bedrock forced BPT into the turnk then slammed it shut. But, then he crossed the line as he began beating on the trunk with the steel pipe, smashing the meatal against BPT’s body! BEDROCK BLLLAAARRRGGH! RENEE If Alix was here she’d damn his soul to hell! But I’m here and I’ll say that man is twisted! He shouldn’t be allowed in civilized society. REJECT Lucky for him TMW isn’t civilized society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2020 As we returned to the arena “Ready or Not” by the Fugees hit and out the came The Shell Gang en masse for a promo. BLANCHEFLEUR Lisa Ann, you dirty bitch! How dare you try and usurp me? You low class, washed up hag! I took care of you. I saved your life. And this is how you repay me? And Queen Esther? You want to challenge me to a match? I accept you redheaded fool. I’ll rip every one of those ginger locks out your scalp! ALEXANDER You’ve waited for a big star to come out all night, and here he is! Now my opponent for Anglemania, ReX, came into this business wanting to be like me. He wanted to emulate me. But, ReX, you need to realize there’s only one Alexander The Magnificnet. That’s why I’m a multimillionare, that’s why I drive a Porsche, I drive a Bugatti, I drive a Phantom. I can’t even pick out which one I drive in the morning! The story of ReX ends at Anglemania! You’re done, you’re fired, you’re out of here! WESLEY Aiyo, Wesley Singleton here. Otherwise known as Wesley The Vampire Slayer. Instant survey time on my IG live. How many people are watching Anglemania to see Wesley drive the figurative stake through Tristan’s heart? Wesley checks his phone… WELSEY Survey says 100 percent! IGNATIUS A lot of people think I’m afraid of Fabian Nystrom because he’s a vampire. Well you’re sadly mistaken. There’s two types of torture in this world. There’s physical torture, which he’ll receive at Anglemania, and there’s psychological torture which he’s received since he got booted out The Shell Gang. Fabian, pal, we’re not hunting for six star matches from the geeks on twitter. We’re going fighting for the Galaxy championship and to settle who’s the alpha male of The Shell Gang. But in my opinion and in reality that was settled when you got superkicked the hell out of here and the boys made me the leader. Anglemania is just a formality. A formality where I kick your ass. So you want a fight in Seattle? This piece of shit is going to give you one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2020 Backstage we find Tanner Neptune tying up his shoes ahead of his match when Sammi Cayley walked in on him. SAMMI Tanner? TANNER What’s up, Sammi? SAMMI I simply needed to thank you for saving Blaine from Painbow and Holt last show. TANNER You thanked me already, Sam. SAMMI That was through text. I needed to do it in person. I know Blaine and I have often taken you for granted and not treated you with the best of intentions. But, I promise that will change. Starting tonight. TANNER Then it should be a great match. Let’s go. ***Painbow and Sgt.Holt Vs Blaine Cayley and Tanner Neptune*** I won't go down without a fight I won't go down without a fight I'll take you down for more then's right I'll beat you down I won't go down without a fight I won't go down without a fight I'll take you down for more then's right I'll beat you down Holt was out first to “Beat You Down” by Downstait… RENEE I know it's the fourth in America and I don't mean to belittle that. But let's face facts about "Sarge." Sergeant Holt has had three, count em three, chances to beat Tanner for the Always Pimping Title. Once when Holt defended the title, and TWO rematches. Now he gets a third rematch against Tanner at Anglemania 19. I get that America bills itself as the land of opportunity but when does it end? REJECT It took four years to beat the Nazis. RENEE You’re very close to getting into Alix territory. Painbow entered to “Ready or Not” by the Fugees… Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide Gonna find you and take it slowlyReady or not, here I come, you can't hide Gonna find you and make you want me REJECT This man is a monster. He is as vicious as the Sandman. At Anglemania he will Blaine’s toughest test since Blaine faced ReX. The REAL Always Pimpin Champion, Tanner Neptune entered to “Bring Back The Summer” And I never, I never want another Come back, come back to me, my lover I never, I never want another Bring back, bring back, bring back the summer Bring back, back the summer Bring back, back the summer REJECT The Cayleys are like spiders, devouring everything they touch. Tanner Neptune had finally escaped their web, was a real star player in TMW and here he is back in the Cayley web of bullshit. Tanner Neptune, you are the ultimate simp. You’ll never get the play from Sammi and you’ll be a bitch running errands for her while she fucks the man she really cares for. Disgraceful. The Lion arrived courtesy of “Blood Brother” by Zed’s Dead… RENEE We’re maybe seeing a softer Sammi, a more appreciative Sammi, a kinder Sammi. REJECT If we’re seeing a kinder Blaine then his last man standing match against Painbow at Anglemania Nineteen is going to be very short. Painbow and Holt attacked first, clubbing the beloved faces. But the good guys turned the tables by dumping Painbow and punishing Holt. The Sarge tried to end things early by getting DQ’ed by a low blow kick on Blaine. But the Welshman caught his leg and gave him a devastating dragon whip! REJECT Someone protect Sarge! RENEE Protect him when the match just started? REJECT These unpatriotic punks are double teaming him. A rolling thunder by Tanner known as Young, Wild, and Tan put an ailing Holt on the floor for a breather. Now it was up to Painbow, who proceeded to toss Tanner around like a basketball. Which was fitting considering Painbow was a former draft pick of the Knicks. REJECT He was too violent to play for my Knicks, but Painbow is the perfect TMW superstar; mean and dangerous. Tanner tried to catch Painbow coming off the ropes with a dropkick, but Painbow swatted him away as though he were a fly. PAINBOW Get that weak shit outta here! Tanner though out-quicked his foe, peppering him with kicks to the legs before overturning him with a spinning head scissors! Painbow had enough of that and tagged in Holt. Sarge and Tanner had a stand off until Blaine delivered a missile dropkick to Holt’s back! REJECT Defend that, Renee. Defend attacking an innocent man. RENEE Holt is hardly innocent of anything. Holt recovered and caught his rival in the face a couple times, drawing some heel heat from the socially distanced crowd. Holt proceeds to punchaway at Tanner, but then turned away for the big knockout punch kick when Tanner blocked it and hit an reverse STO! RENEE Tan It Like You Mean It! That got a two count thanks to Painbow breaking up the pin. Holt and Tanner went back to wrestling, so Holt thumbed out of a hammerlock and tagged in Painbow. Tanner remained one step ahead of the bad guys and dropkicked Painbow out to the floor. Then Blaine went out onto the apron, flipped out of the ring, and dropped Painbow with a tope con hilo! Painbow was furious and dove into the ring to attack Tanner. The Always Pimpin Champion avoided a big boot then drilled his foe with a sleeper drop! RENEE Tanner and Blaine are showing that chemistry they cooked up in the OAOAST. REJECT Blaine is real lucky to have his sister’s loyal simp on his side. The action settled and turned into the bad guy’s favor once Painbow tossed tanner out the ring with a press slam. The Lion tried to get back in, but he got shoved from the apron SPINE-FIRST into the guardrail. Yes, that happens in more than just WWF No Mercy! REJECT Now Painbow and Sarge can look to go on the offense. They can insolate Blaine and maybe take advantage of his concussion history. RENEE That would be low. REJECT That would be wrestling. And that’s what Painbow did, bashing Blaine’s head against the turnbuckle then bashing it against Holt’s boot. Blaine then took an atomic drop from Holt into a Bobby Eaton-style backbreaker, leaving him howling in pain. RENEE Talk about working on your back. Though visibly anguished, Blaine attempted to fight back, but Holt drilled him with a Kitchen Sink! RENEE Blaine wishes Holt had left that sink at Home Depot. REJECT You just proved my theory correct. RENEE What theory? REJECT Women are incapable of being funny. Holt hit a pile driver on Blaine which had him hollering in pain. His concussion issues were on the forefront as Painbow came in and stomped at his head. REJECT There’s nothing pretty about the way Painbow fights. It’s raw, gritty, brawling. Painbow dropped Blaine on his head with a basic slam, then delivered further stomps to it. Sammi was nearly in tears, Blaine’s career seemingly on the line. Holt tagged and caught Blaine with a swinging neckbreaker and then threw him out to the floor just to be a jerk. Back in, Painbow hit a butterfly suplex for two. Blaine got sent back out to the floor, but then pulled Holt out from the apron. He headed back in to possibly tag Tanner but Painbow was there to meet him with a clothesline. The heels went for a double-backdrop, but Blaine countered and rolled them over to set up the HOT TAG TO TANNER! RENEE Yes! Tanner hit a Konan rolling double clothesline on the heels! Holt when down in a heap, but Painbow just staggered backwards. No problem for Tanner, who sprung off the top rope and struck down the former Knicks draft pick with a cross body! RENEE Painbow falling like he fell in the draft! Blaine and Tanner decked Holt with a double lariat that sends him out of the ring! But when Tanner turned around, he got blasted with a yakuza kick! RENEE That Bitch Kicks! Holt dragged Blaine out of the ring and Painbow pinned Tanner! But Sammi was in the ring to break up the count! REJECT What does she think she’s doing?! Painbow was irate and seized Sammi by the throat! RENEE Oh no! But Tanner grabbed hold of Painbow and started rocking him with punches! Tanner was furious and even busted Painbow open. But as he ran to the ropes, Holt struck him with a chair! That allowed Painbow to hit That Bitch Kicks once again! And this time it got his team a victory! Winner: Painbow and Sgt.Holt, via pinfall Post-match Sammi seemed more interested in checking on Tanner than she did Blaine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2020 And now, proverns from The Big Hairy Nutt Saks as said to Money Marc Benett… “From the skreets did she emerge; And to the skreets she will return. And I say unto you, ‘She is for the skreets.’ So be not weary when she must Return from whence she came.” - Nutt Saks 25:3 Storm Bellmare stood in front of the TMW logo super imposed on the screen STORM Lawson Belle, you think I have you a gift? That I woke up the old Lawson Belle? When I attacked you that wasn’t a gift. That was a warning. And it’s a warning you didn’t listen to. But I want that old Lawson Belle at Anglemania. I need that old Lawson Belle at Anglemania! I’m begging you to give me that old Lawson Belle at Anglemania so I can show you he’s nothing compared to the current Storm Bellmare. Nothing. At Anglemania the L-Train gets derailed. We were back at Sofa Central for the mainevent when R&R got interrupted by BI-CURIOUS GEORGE BCG Reject, you are looking fooooooooine tonight! REJECT Get away from me, George! BCG Playing hard to get are we? But I only have time to chase one man and that’s my boo-boo-bear 2XS REJECT I think you might be out of his age range. BCG Nothing taste as good as the forbidden fruit except the forbidden meat of 2XS. He will be mine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2020 ***Queen Esther Vs Blanchefleur*** RENEE We’re not going to see Dan Black vs Simon Singleton here. REJECT But we will see some fuckery. Queen Esther had to put on gloves for this affair. Silk gloves actually. But once they were on she slapped the hell out of Blanchefleur! QUEEN ESTHER Ha! I win! RENEE Uh…. But there was more to wrestling than a slap and Esther got tackled by Blanchefleur. The former Assistant GM started tearing out Esther’s red locks! A few of them were actually yanked out! REJECT Those locks could fetch thousands on e-bay! Esther hopped to her feet, still raring for a fight. She started going nuts on Blanchefleur, peppering her with wild haymakers that look like something out of a daytime TV talkshow. But it was enough to get Blanchefleur to retreat from the ring. Esther followed, forcing Blanchefleur to throw Reject’s Klondike bar in her face! But Esther quite enjoyed the filling… What would Esther do for a Klondike bar? Beat Blanchefleur’s ass! Which is exactly what she did. Esther went to town on BF, which no one expected her to be able to do. A black and bruised BF rolled into the ring, only for Esther to give chase and smack her up some more. RENEE Blanchefleur is getting exactly what she deserves! Blanchefleur decked Esther with a lariat and unloaded all her rage upon her… BLANCHEFLEUR But Esther was more than shit as he rocked BF with a hard knife edge chop! But BF connected with a wild lariat that left Queen Esther in dire straits. BF decided that it was time to finish off Queen Esther and motioned to the back. Running to the ring came PIKE PANTERA and JOSE CANTU-SI! Jose distracted the referee, while Pike started snorting like a rhino! Which is fitting because his moveset is based off Rhyno. RENEE No! You can’t use the Smoking Gun on Queen Esther, Pike! No! But when Pike came flying forward, FABIAN NYSTROM pulled Esther out the way! That led Pike to slam violently into Blanchefleur, nearly tearing her apart! RENEE Oh my god! Fabian decked both Pike and Jose with a steel chair, leaving Esther to score a winning pinfall over a broken Blanchefleur! Winner: Queen Esther, via pinfall Post-match Fabian held a beaming Queen Esther on his shoulders to celebrate as we… FADED OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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