Chanel #99 Posted March 18, 2020 Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 we fade into the opening video with our intro song... ALIX Panda Express is dropping that’rona, Trump’s dropping that bread and we’re dropping the titites on Raw Is Whore! ***Didi Bigguns Vs Charli 9ine*** Didi Bigguns entered to “My Boobs Are Ok” by Lene Alexandria… Hello! My Boobs, my boobs My boobs are ok My Boobs, my boobsMy boobs are ok! RENEE This young lady has a lot of explaining to do. She’s got Miss Kunt incredibly mad at her and I think it has something to do with Miss Kunt’s goofy appearance at New Years Spectacular. ALIX I mean Krista has all sorts of goofy appearances on New Years when she passes out and I draw penises on her face and she doesn’t get too mad when she wakes up. RENEE You’re a great wife. Charli 9ine entered to “End Game” by Taylor Swift… I wanna be your endgame I wanna be your first string I wanna be your A-Team (whoa, whoa, whoa) I wanna be your endgame, endgame Big reputation, big reputation Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations, ah And you heard about me, ooh I got some big enemies (yah) Big reputation, big reputation Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation, ah (git git) And I heard about you, ooh (yah RENEE Morgan Nerdly’s investigation continues. Did Charli brutally attack LeBrenda or did LeBrenda and Ladybird Jones fake the whole thing? I think Charli is innocent. ALIX Guilty until proven innocent! That’s the American way! And if proven innocent still guilty unless able to pass a day time television talk show lie detector test. DING DING DING Didi sized up Charli’s assets and found them rather lacking. In fact she decided to explain how lacking. DIDI Mishappen, crooked nipples, lopsided, flat out ugly. You want me to go on? But Charli left it for the fans to decide, whipping her girls out… That pissed Didi off of course and she grabbed a handful of Charli’s blond locks and slung her about the ring. Sadly for Didi that pissed Charli off and the Iowa native sprung up and ran through Didi with a lariat. RENEE We know not to piss Charli off. But I guess Didi forgot weeks worth of character development. ALIX Character development? All wrestling really needs to be is a clever catch phrase repeatedly hammered home to the idiot fans so you can sell them related merchandise. RENEE I see Krista’s Business of Wrestling seminar on the network has a new viewer. Charli threw Didi about the ring with some big belly to belly type suplexes that would make Big Papa Thrust proud. They just made Didi’s back hurt and she called for a timeout. There’s no timeouts in wrestling but there are eye rakes which Didi used on Charli’s pretty eyes. “BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE Dirty move by Didi, Alix. ALIX That’s like low level on shitty things you can do to someone. Krista cut Lucius Soul’s fro once to make him submit and you should never touch a black man’s hair or his Spotify playlist. But you should touch his penis! Even if he’s a sex offender! Didi started clubbing at Charli, tormenting her with powerful blows. Charli refused to go down which made Didi quite mad. She took it out on Charli’s funbags, walloping them with a heavy chop. That may have hurt Charli but it also sent her girls bouncing! “YYYYEEEAAAAAA!” DIDI Didi went off the ropes looking for a biiiiiig lariat only to get ducked by Charli. The Iowa native then snatched hold of the back of Didi’s neck and punished her with a reverse chokeshalm! “YYYYEEAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Left At The Altar! Charli fluffed her golden locks then motioned for her finisher. This would soon spell doom for Didi, except for the fact that…. This tiny Fluffer arrived with a towel and hopped into the ring. FLUFFER Krista said you can’t just keep showing the goods like that, and you need to cover up. RENEE That doesn’t sound like Krista. But it was all a ruse as the tiny Fluffer began choking Charli with the towel! ALIX Son of a bitch! RENEE What is this? Charli struggled to get free but the tiny Fluffer was a lot stronger than she looked! A second Fluffer, one with green hair, arrived to try and aid Charli but got hit with a lariat from Didi! ALIX What in the blue hell is going on in The Toy Box? We have Fluffers attacking wrestlers, wrestlers attacking Fluffers, it’s breaking down! Didi grabbed hold of Charli and punished her with her deadly Alabama Slam! After that she and the little Fluffer began stomping away at Charli. “YYYYEEAAAAAAAA!” The fans roared as MISS KUNT came hauling ass from backstage. Didi was quick enough to bail, but the little Fluffer endured a STIFF KICK that sent her hurtling over the ropes and crashing into Didi! “MISS K! MISS K! MISS K!” Miss Kunt let the referee attend to Charli while she demanded Didi come back into the ring. Naturally Didi wasn’t keen on that idea and instead dragged her little Fluffer friend towards the back with the tiny girl bellowing curses at Miss K. ALIX Thank god for cunt, country and Kunt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 18, 2020 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 We’re in the ever popular catering area where we find… TORI MALIBU pouring herself a cup of coffee and of course fumblimg it and dropping it to the floor. TORI Shit! She bends down to pick it up only for… HAYLEY STEINBERG aka How2GIRL to get it for her. TORI Oh. Hayley. Thanks. HAYLEY Um, sure. Sure. Tori starts to gather napkins to clean but How2Girl beats her to the punch. TORI You don’t have to do that. HAYLEY I don’t mind. It kind of reminds me of the old times. TORI ….Yeah. I guess. HAYLEY Um, great job in the tag match at New Year Spectacular. TORI You watched? HAYLEY I watch all your matches. TORI Oh. Well. Cool. I’ll see ya. HAYLEY (hurriedly) Maybe we can tag again if Euphoria is ever busy. TORI Hayley, it’s been so long that I’m not mad at you for all those times you left me to be beat up by Yukino and Boss Lady. But after all that I’m not sure if I can ever trust you again. I’m sorry. Tori tries to manage a small smile for her former partner. Instead she just sighs and walks off. This leaves How2Girl to hold her head in sadness. But her misery gets worse as… ANNAGRET WICKEDBORN And CINNAMON SPOONS arrive ANNAGRET That was pathetic! Ugh, you were so meek and begging and nice. Gag me with a spade! Gross! HAYLEY Just leave me alone, Annagret. ANNAGRET Cinnamon would you ever leave me for dick? WHITE dick at that? CINNAMON No way! When I first saw you How2Girl I looked up to you. Heroes are completely awesome! But heroes don’t leave their sisters for white dick! ANNAGRET That’s gross. White dick? Ew. I can’t think of anything worse! I’d rather get Coronavirus dick! HAYLEY I know I made a mistake. Can’t you let me move on? ANNAGRET Why should we? Tori hasn’t. How2Girl has heard enough! She balls up her fists…and walks off in disgust. ANNAGRET Be careful, everyone! Nerd coming through! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 18, 2020 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 *** The Geisha Girls vs. C02 *** Still hot over her elimination in the Bimbo Battle Royale at the New Years Spectacular, Maya stormed past partner Jade in complete BAB (Bad Ass Bitch) mode. The fire in her eyes set the Geishas’ face ablaze in sheer terror. It was in that moment the pearls of the Orient had visions of the Pearly Gates as Maya opened a can on their ass. ALIXWho’s your daddy, Undertaker?! The acts of violence managed to impress CPA who watched backstage on a monitor enjoying a cigar, while Glass Juliet and Effie Reese were left aghast by brutality the likes of which even they had never seen. RENEE If only the Geishas hadn’t gloated following Maya’s elimination. Oh, who are I kidding. Anyone who took Maya out was fucked! ALIX😮 RENEE Yeah, I said it! By the time Jade reached the apron Maya had put the Geishas away with iMaya. Winners: C02, via pinfall. Post-match Maya grabbed her snatch defiantly, sending notice to anyone who dares stand in C02’s path to eventually regaining the Hotties tag title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 18, 2020 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 We’re in a dimly lit room with a table holding two glasses of water. Sat on one side of the table is… LADYBIRD JONES Opposite her is… MORGAN NERDLY Morgan takes a sip of her water then sighs. MORGAN You have no idea how lucky you are. LADYBIRD Lucky? MORGAN Krista told me I couldn’t zap you. I have to play nice. I hate playing nice. Ladybird balls up her fists. She won’t be intimidated. LADYBIRD You wouldn’t touch me if you had the chance. MORGAN Try me, Ladybird. But we aren’t here to talk about me and you. We’re here to talk about you and LeBrenda framing Charli. LADYBIRD I don’t know what you’re talking about. MORGAN Yes you do, hoops. LADYBIRD Hoops? MORGAN You’d do anything for LeBrenda. You feel like you owe her. She saw your basketball YOutube videos when you were in highschool, gave you some advice on how to change your game and you got a scholarship to Harvard. But too bad you didn’t major in criminology because then you’d know how to setup a crime. LADYBIRD I didn’t setup anything. MORGAN Krista has mellowed a bit, but I bet she’ll be pretty angry when I give my report. I can just picture the Nasty Boyds Vs LeBrenda, The Day of the Dead vs you, C02 vs LeBrenda in a blindfold, Lady XFL Vs LeBrenda with her hand tied behind her back. Krista isn’t going to be happy being lied to. It would be much better if you came out and admitted what you did. LADYBIRD It would? MORGAN It would. LADYBIRD You promise? Morgan leans back and smiles. LADYBIRD We did it! We set the whole thing up to frame Charli! LeBrenda was getting tons of heat for hitting Charli with the basketball in the Ovary title tournament final! We had to turn sympathy to LeBrenda’s side! We’re sorry! MORGAN Yes you are. Morgan stands up with a smirk. She extends her hand to Ladybird who meekly accepts it. MORGAN Nothing feels better than telling the truth. With that Morgan walks off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 18, 2020 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 *** Carrie Oakley w/ Annie Idol vs. Skyler w/ the Skylites *** In a battle of two Hotties looking to move up the ladder (one the rankings, the other socially), Skyler threw a curveball Carrie’s way early backing out in favor of Dasha The Rappa. This not only dropped the jaw of Dasha but her former two friends Carrie and Annie, all while Skyler and her flock of sheep followers snickered outside. RENEEAs if wrecking a friendship wasn’t enough, Skyler feels the need to continue toying with Dasha’s emotions. Ugh! Annie pleaded with Dasha not to follow Skyler’s command, preferring to have a talk instead to clear all the BS that broke up their friendship. The crowd roared approvingly which Carrie pointed out to Dasha who took note. ALIXListen to them, girl! The Skylites are no good, are no good, are no good. Baby, they’re no good! It was then Skyler jumped back into the ring and stunned Carrie with Connecticut Blood Money, followed by a quick cover for the pin. Winner: Skyler, via pinfall. Upset over what transpired Annie looked to give Skyler an earful only to be subdued by the Skylites. Skyler was about to slap Annie around when she got a better idea: give Dasha the honor. RENEEOh no! Dasha sought advice from the audience who begged her not to follow thru, but peer pressure from wild bitches like the Skylites was too much to resist and so Dasha bitchslapped Annie! Again. And again! Tears flowed down Annie’s chipmunk cheeks, wiped away by canvas after being shoved down face-first by Penny Mars. Annie crawled to the corner to escape the Skylites who continued to taunt her like the mean girls they are. It was at this point EPONINE BLACK, one-half of the Hotties tag champions, stormed the ring and cleaned house! RENEECome get some now, ladies! Skylar managed to avoid Eponine’s fury, as did Dasha which infuriated Skylar and the other Skylites. Meanwhile, Eponine assisted a grateful Annie to her feet and burned a hole thru the Skylites while Carrie was tended to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 18, 2020 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 Stood in the ring in a cute sun dress and a hospital mask (gotta be safe) is Sara Jean Underwood. SARA JEAN Gang, at New Years Spectacular we had a Busty Bimbo Battle Royal pitting the stupdiest and bustiest Hotties against each other that’s an early candidate for match of the year. And shocking the world and securing a Hard on Hoes title match at Skank Stampede was none other than Isabella Spezia-Villagrossa! So please welcome to the ring our number one contender… “WHO YOU TALKING TO, MAN?” ALIX That ain’t my sister’s music, folks! Nope it’s the music of Lady XFL. But instead of the champ we get her the manager of all her affairs, Alysanne. The wicked Hottie strolls to the ring with Hard on Hoes Title in hand. Alysanne does not want to be touched by fan for viral reasons and for the fact that she’s disgusted by them. SARA JEAN Alysanne? ALYSANNE This has to be a joke. SARA JEAN I don’t understand. ALYSANNE Of course you don’t. You’re like everyone in The Toy Box. You only understand mediocrity. You only understand an average existence. You can’t comprehend what it’s like to be in the one percent. The one percent of talent, looks, brains, and money, and skill. That’s the percent Lady XFL and I reside in. When you combine us you get the .5 percent. The queens of kings and queens. So again it has to be a joke that there was a battle royal of people who couldn’t think out of a paper bag and the winner gets fed to the slaughter! How sick. How perverse. Give Isabella a check, give Isabella a trophy, but don’t give her the Lady XFL. ALIX My sister is tougher than a two dollar prison shank! RENEE That’s an interesting version of that phrase. Alysanne is about to continue when suddenly… YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT BABY! “Mia Khalifa” by Skan hits to a HUGE pop and Isabella Spezia arrives in fishnet nipple exposing top and booty shorts. ALIX Shank that bitch, Izzy! RENEE Alix! Isabella rushes to the ring ala Warrior and even shakes the ropes. She’s plenty pumped up and we find out why as she’s handed a mic and says… ISABELLA Oh, you're so cute, Alys! ALYSANNE What?! ISABELLA You're everything I've been looking for! You had me from the moment I laid eyes on you! ALYSANNE Get away from me! ALIX Yeah, you’re mine, Izzy! ISABELLA I can't leave you alone when you're this cute! I won't do anything scary, so just trust me and give in. RENEE This is getting kinda rapey! ALYSANNE I’m warning you…You’re looking at me like a wild animal looks at its prey! ISABELLA I can't do anything about that. It's your fault for being so cute. Fufufufu! Isabella can’t control herself any longer! Alysanne is just too cute and unfortunately for the blond to slow as Isabella grabs hold of her aaaaaaaannnddddd….. “YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE It’s all the way rapey! ALIX😡 Suddenly there’s a commition as LADY XFL comes rushing out from the back! The Hard On Hoes champion leaps onto the ring apron, which is pretty cool, until Isabella just causually dropkicks her to land her on her ass on the outside! LADY XFL😨 Lady XFL is fuming, her nostrils flaring, her shoulders pumping. She jumps back onto the apron…and gets dropkicked back off once more. RENEE I never thought I’d see the day a Spezia outsmarted anyone. No offense. The busty bimbo, Isabelle flexes her muscles which has Lady XFL tearing up ringside. Officials arrive to get her under control, and have no choice but to restrain her. But a few endure punches and kicks in the effort to do so. RENEE Lady XFL defends the Hard on Hoes title at Skank Stampede against Isabella Spezia-Villagarossa! Don’t miss it! ALIX Or I’ll shank you! FADE OUT Tony149 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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