Chanel #99 Posted December 20, 2019 Report Share Posted December 20, 2019 At her palatial home in Bevery Hills, California is... KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN who is sat on the shag rug of her home office looking over various diagrams, concept drawings, as well as her ipad. Walking in on her are her daughters... MAYA and... JADE MAYA Hey, mom. JADE Mommy! What's going on? KRISTA Girls, Toni Patrica wants Raw Is Whore to have something special for the Christmas show. Which frankly I think is a little off. So some guy with long hair was born that day. Matthew Mcconaughey has longish hair and was born on a day and we don't do anything special for that day. I mean I did fuck him once. But I can't fuck Jesus. Nor would I want to. He looks like he stinks. JADE Big thing for Christmas? I have a great idea! MAYA I doubt it. JADE Let's all bake the world's biggest awful fruitcake! KRISTA Explain. JADE We all pitch in and we make a disgusting fruitcake that's huge! KRISTA That's not such a bad idea. We're being broadcasted in South Sudan so we can get over big time by cooking food we'll never eat and throwing it away for viewership by people who are starving! Great idea! MAYA Yeah, but no, it's a lame idea. Why can't you be addicted to anything cool, Jade? Like shopping or sex? JADE I'm addicted to sex! MAYA Nah, you're like the people who say they smoke weed but really all they do is watch Half Baked with Dave Chapelle every 4/20. JADE I'm just as big a whore as you are. MAYA Good one, Jadeycakes. No one is as big a whore as I am. JADE Then let's do the Christmas Cum Off! You and I will get down and dirty on Raw Is Whore with a bunch of hot studs- MAYA Black studs. JADE Even better, and whoever makes the most guys cum within the time limit is the Whore of the Holidays! KRISTA Fun fact, that was Virgin Mary's nickname. Great idea, girls! I know I can count on you to carry the long tradition of Duncan slutiness long after the three strikes law sentences me to life in prison because I stole Anderson Cooper's toupee. So I suggest you two start getting those assholes nice and ready. MAYA Already on it. JADE Me too! After I eat my fruitcake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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