Chanel #99 Posted March 17, 2013 Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 TV 14 LVPRESENTED IN HD A montage of still photos from this past Sunday's November Reign event airs, followed by the rapid-fire opening credits set to "Party Like a Rockstar". "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! LIVE! Portland, Oregon COLE 5 nights removed from November Reign, we come to you live from the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon for a special Friday night edition of HeldDOWN~! Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman at Sofa Central and Coach, what a HUGE main event we have in store here tonight. COACH That's right, baby boy. It's the match that didn't take place at November Reign because Krista and her hodgepodge band of misfists got a good look at what they were up against and wanted no part of it. Team Alix -- Alix Maria Spezia, Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, CPA and Biff Atlas -- vs. Team Krista -- Vinny Valentine, The Love Doctors, Shayne Brave of D*LUX fame and Krista Isadora Duncan. COLE Also tonight, Los Conquistadors seek their first victory in quite sometime as they face the exiting young tag team Rescue 911. COACH I know you go to bed at night dreaming of a little mouth-to-mouth from EMT Tim, but it's no secret you're a big fan of the Lone Star Gunslingers, too. They'll be in action as well. COLE We'll also hear from Zack Malibu. But right now it's up to... The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and actually cheering for once! PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. COLE The Corporate Champ is about to make an appearance here on HeldDOWN~! A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL is not in a good mood at all. PRL is in his ring gear. He looks at the entrance. The entrance doors slide open, and out from the smoke comes Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, wearing earrings, a gold necklace, a green halter top, a blue wind-breaker jacket over it, gold bracelets on her wrists, her engagement ring on her right ring finger, a gold watch on her right wrist, tight blue jeans with a black leather belt, and black heel boots. She has the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her right shoulder. Following Lindsay is Vitamin X and Princess Stacey, arm in arm. Then Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Thomas Rodriguez. COLE The Lightning Crew is out here, but withOUT Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Popick's probably running late is all. Stop looking too much into things! PR looks at the crowd with a serious look on his face. He looks at his Lightning Crew, and orders them to walk with him down to the ring which they do so. MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the ring..."THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN and THE LIGHTNINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! COLE Tha Puerto Rican was arguably moments away from becoming the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion last Sunday night at November Reign, but his so-called 'friend', his mentor, his manager, Stephen Joseph Popick, was able to make it to the top of the Triple Decker Cage and grab the OAOAST Title belt to retain and have his Title reign survive for another day! COACH 'So-called friend'? What's this 'so-called' crap about? COLE Coach, you were there with me last Sunday night! Tha Puerto Rican SAVED Popick from a Riot Act Plus on the roof of the second cage, but Popick did NOT save Tha Puerto Rican from an Angle Slam from Zack Malibu! COACH So? Popick was in it to win it last Sunday! Just because he didn't save Tha Puerto Rican from ONE MOVE from Zack Malibu doesn't mean a damn thing! Their friendship is as tight as ever! COLE Well, they appeared to be ready to throw fists last Sunday at November Reign until Zack climbed onto the roof of the second cage. COACH Again, that was in the heat of the moment. They both said things that they regret. It's human nature. That's all. COLE But this wasn't the first time that's happened! It's happened more than once in the past month! How many more times must it happen before it stops being in the 'heat of the moment' and starts being real dissension? COACH When Popick *intentionally* beats up Tha Puerto Rican, THEN it'll be real dissension! But until then, there's nothing more to it! Tha Puerto Rican and The Lightning Crew continue their walk to the ring. PR stops to give some fans at ringside the Corporate Eyebrow, and then climbs up the ring steps. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez follows. PRL gets onto the ring apron. He looks at the crowd. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. COLE Again, PRL is without Popick here tonight! COACH And again, Popick's probably running late! PRL should know a thing or two about running late! COLE LOLINSIDEJOKELOL2007~! Tha Puerto Rican spins around, soaking in the fans' cheers for once while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt high up in the air and pyro goes off behind them. The crowd is still cheering loudly. PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air. He then gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises his hands again. PR then gets off that turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle where he raises his right fist in the air while a spotlight shines on him and he "smells the electricity" ala The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving cheers. PR stands on the turnbuckle for a few more seconds, looking at the crowd. COLE This crowd warming up to Tha Puerto Rican, a trend which started four weeks ago when we were in San Juan, Puerto Rico and continued last Sunday at November Reign when every single fan in attendance was itching for Tha Puerto Rican to ignore Popick and grab the OAOAST Championship belt from the roof of the arena! COACH I know PRL loves his Lightning Bolts, but he did the right thing last Sunday, letting Popick grab the Title. COLE Uh...I don't think he meant for that to happen. Popick told PRL of Zack's arrival so that he could sneak away to the top of the third cage! COACH But PRL could have ignored Zack and gone for the Title! But he didn't. Therefore, he did the right thing last Sunday! Doy! Tha Puerto Rican gets off the turnbuckle and stands with The Lightning Crew. Together, they all, in sync, form an 'L' with their arms. The Lightning Crew Salute! PR then calls for a microphone while the lights go back on in the arena. COLE PRL was hoping to bring the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title to The Lightning Crew for the first time ever last Sunday night, but alas, it was not to be. Stephen Joseph Popick, through hell or high water, is STILL the OAOAST Champion! COACH The P-Man did it again! He shocked the world for the second time in about a month! Popick is on a roll! COLE And he might have PRL's distraction to thank for it! COACH Hey, Zack was underneath Popick too! COLE True. But still... COACH But nothing! Stop trying to stir the pot! There is nothing wrong with PR and Popick! Their friendship survived Popick's first World Title reign, it will survive his second! COLE But for how much longer? COACH For as long as his Title reign lasts, which is hopefully forever! COLE That can't happen, Coach. Popick's got to die someday. COACH Says who? COLE God? Nature? Time? COACH ...Oh. COLE You get stupider by the day. Tha Puerto Rican now has a microphone in his right hand. The Lightning Crew all stand and watch. "Know Your Role '99" dies down. But the crowd is still cheering. "p.r.!" "p.r.!" "p.r.!" "p.r.!" PRL "smells the electricity" again. He then puts the microphone to his lips and begins speaking. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN You can cheer me...you can boo me...I DON'T CARE! What I DO care about is a 225 pound steaming piece of monkey crap named STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THA PUERTO RICAN Now last Sunday, Tha Puerto Rican did what he said he would do and that is layeth the smacketh down on four pieces of trailer park trash! I climbed all the way to the top of the Triple Decker Cage! I made it to the very end! 40-50 feet in the air! And I was mere moments away from finally achieving my dream. FINALLY becoming World Heavyweight Champion. But then YOU interfered. YOU stopped me from finishing what I started! YOU and YOU ALONE prevented me from walking out of November Reign, Las Vegas, Nevada the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! The crowd boos loudly. PRL It was all because of you. YOU! My 'Career Consultant'. My manager. The one guy who I always thought would have my back. It was all thanks to YOU that I left November Reign empty handed. Seeing you on top of the Triple Decker Cage celebrating, holding the OAOAST Title belt close to your heart...IT MADE ME WANT TO RETCH! COLE You are not alone, P.R. PRL (CONT'D) That should have been ME up there, damnit! That should have been ME! Now, I'll give credit where credit is due. The other four men in the match kicked as--actually, scratch that...Bohemoth, Zack Malibu, Todd Cortez, and ESPECIALLY Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix are still nothing more but a bunch of JABRONIES! The crowd responds with a mixture of boos and cheers for that remark. PRL Now, it was four years ago today, that Tha Puerto Rican had his first shot at the OAOAST World Title. That was at Deadly Game: Unlucky 7 in the first ever Elimination Chamber Match in One And Only AngleSault Thread history. That was in 2003. It's 2007. It's four years later, and I STILL have not ONE World Title reign to my credit! And Goddamnit, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THAT FACT! I am sick and tired of waiting for my chance. My time to come! It should have happened last Sunday! IT SHOULD HAVE-- PRL is getting hyper. He tries to calm down. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez massages his shoulders. Cuban Wall and Vitamin X check up on him. COLE PRL getting worked up here. COACH Stay cool, P. Stay cool, Champ. PRL takes a deep breath. He continues. PRL I'm not waiting anymore! It ends tonight! I'm gonna whup somebody's ass tonight! So Stephen Joseph Popick, bring your four-eyed roody poo-- CROWD CANDY ASS! PRL --out here so we can settle this, mano-e-mano! World Champ to Corporate Champ! COLE Wow! PRL's calling out Popick! COACH He can't do that! That's his manager! COLE I'm not so sure about that anymore, Coach! COACH Oh no! PRL paces back and forth in the ring to the crowd's delight. The Lightning Crew are shocked by what they just heard. They don't know what to do now. PRL You heard me, Stephen. I ain't gonna wait here all day! Bring your ass down here, NOW! COLE PR wants the World Title tonight! COACH Think about what you're doing, PR! Think! PRL Stephen, I am going to kick your ass by the time the show's over, so just come down here right now and get it over with! PRL paces back and forth. The crowd is still cheering. The Lightning Crew talk to PRL. PRL Guys, don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Stephen, I'm not telling you, I'm DEMANDING you come out to the ring RIGHT NOW! PRL jumps up and down in place. Popick still hasn't showed up. PRL You haven't answered any of my phone calls, e-mails, or text messages this week. I KNOW you're in this arena! Come on out right now and let's do this thing face-to-face! Tha Puerto Rican says you have five seconds, AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS FIVE SECONDS, to come out here right this instance! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV-- "BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!" The entrance doors slide open, and STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK himself steps out onto the entrance stage to nothing but loud boos. Wearing his eyeglasses, a white collar dress shirt, a watch on his right wrist, black dress pants, and black dress shoes, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion appears on stage, a microphone in his right hand and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK That is all I'm hearing. Nothing but blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. P.R., you really gotta tone it down a little. Make your sentences short and sweet. 20 minutes is WAY too long to be talking in the middle of the ring! PRL Oh very funny! What took you so long? POPICK I was in the back listening to your whining and complaining. Monkey crap? THAT'S the best you can come up with? COME ON! You're supposed to be a master on the mic. A real wordsmith. But instead you use a phrase that was never that great to begin with, and you decide to use it on me, your manager, your 'Career Consultant'. PRL You certainly didn't act like either of those things last Sunday night. POPICK Once again, you seem to forget that the WORLD TITLE WAS ON THE LINE! I did what I had to do in order to retain, and might I add: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Popick raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high in the air to loud boos. He has a wide evil smile on his face. PRL does the McMahon SNEER~! PRL But what about sacrificing me to Zack Malibu? POPICK Oh that? Well, that...well...that was simply me...trying to get you to stand up for yourself. For the past three years, I've done nothing but help you win match after match. And, to be perfectly honest...I'm rather sick of doing it. SOOO, rather than save you AGAIN, I decided to just let you fight your own battles. And you failed. Not surprisingly. PRL What is with you lately? We've been tight for three years now. You've had my back. I've had yours. I've saved your ass! You've saved mine! Damnit, I WENT TO JAIL FOR EIGHT LONG MONTHS FOR YOU! Popick's expression changes from cocky to serious. POPICK I'll tell you what's with me. I'VE HAD IT! I've had it with you, P.R.! Last Sunday night was the last straw! I've tried to remain cool. I've tried to remain calm. I let it slide when you failed not once, but TWICE to win the World Heavyweight Title! But in the words of Popeye, 'That is all I can stands and I can't stands no more!' You failed AGAIN last Sunday, P.R. You didn't win the World Heavyweight Title in your third try in four months! Sunday night could have been your night, PRL! But no...not only did you let your fiancee down. Not only did you let your Lightning Crew down. But you let me down. You let Stephen Joseph Popick down. And I don't like to be let down. I don't like it when things don't go my way. I've spent alot of time and money on you, P.R. I spent alot of time molding you into the perfect Corporate Champion. And what do I get in return? Nothing but disappointment. Stephen Joseph Popick walks down the entrance ramp, stopping in the middle to continue speaking. POPICK Well, I'm tired of being disappointed! I'm tired of not seeing a return in my investment! So last Sunday night, I came to the conclusion that I should have come to months ago...possibly even years ago: you're just not worthy enough to be a World Heavyweight Champion. Face it, P.R.: you are NOT World Championship material. No P.R., what you really are is a loser. It is YOU and YOU ALONE that is the big piece of monkey crap! The crowd boos. PRL is PISSED OFF now! The Lightning Crew all watch Popick with menacing looks on their faces. PRL Monkey crap? MONKEY CRAP!? Tha Puerto Rican says that this P.R. Menace is going to take his size 10 boot and stick it straight up your candy ass! POPICK Oh BITE ME, EDWARD! You're all talk and no walk! You're filled with nothing but BULLS(bleep)! Why it took me so long to realize this I do not know, but the important thing is that I DO realize this now and I am going to make things different from now on! Starting with the END of our partnership! PRL Fine! It's over! I don't care anymore! It just makes it easier for me to challenge you to a match for the World Heavyweight Title tonight right here in Portland, Oregon! CHEAP POP~! COACH Oh, P.R. COLE He wants another match tonight! POPICK P.R...what did I just tell you a few moments ago? You are NOT, I repeat, NOT World Championship material. So, it would be pretty darn stupid of me to have a Title Match with you, since I would beat you in 10 seconds flat! And I don't think the people of this fine *snicker* fair city would like to have a 10 second main event match tonight! We are not WWE, we are not TNA, we are not ECW, we are DEFINITELY not WCW, we are the OAOAST, and in the OAOAST, quality main events are ALWAYS guaran-damn-teed! Unlike PRL getting the job done for once in his sad, pathetic life! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Popick just stirring the pot here. PRL's face is red. He is fuming. He puts the microphone to his lips again. THA PUERTO RICAN Then fine! No Title Match tonight! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL Instead, let's do a tag team match! In fact...let's make it a Six-Man Tag Team Match! Me, Cuban Wall, and Mr. Boricua vs. you...and whoever unlucky sumbitches you pick! Let's do that tonight! Let's make that the main event here on HeldDOWN~! COLE Whoa! What a match that should be! Six-Man Tag Team action tonight on HeldDOWN~! COACH He hasn't accepted the match yet, stupid! The crowd cheers. Stephen Joseph Popick chuckles. He adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. The Lightning Crew all get into fighting stances. PRL Come on! It shouldn't be too hard for you to find two partners, what with you being The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST and all! POPICK Heh...that's cute. Real cute. Me being The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST and all. Nice one. Nice. Umm...tell you what. I'm gonna have to take a rain check on that one too, I'm afraid! Sorry, Edward! The crowd boos. PRL is confused. PRL Wait, why not? You'd have TWO partners! You could hide behind two guys instead of one! I'd thought you would love that! It's the perfect match for a chickenhead like you! Come on! Let me lay the smackdown on you and your two partners you jabroni! Popick walks further down the entrance ramp. He stops near the end of the entrance ramp. POPICK Again, I'm afraid that match won't happen tonight, P.R. Because... PRL Because why? POPICK Because if we were to have that match...who would be your partners? Stephen Joseph Popick does the Corporate Eyebrow. PRL has a confused look on his face. PRL Wha-- *BAM!* CUBAN WALL CLOTHESLINES THE BACK OF THA PUERTO RICAN'S NECK!!!!! COLE WHAT!? COACH WHAT!? CROWD WHAT!? Cuban Wall starts stomping on Tha Puerto Rican! Mr. Boricua joins him! So does The Bone Thug! Then Vitamin X! Even Thomas Rodriguez gets some kicks in! CROWD ......... COLE ...... COACH ........ Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Princess Stacey look on with evil smiles on their faces. They both laugh maniacally as The Lightning Crew continues their beatdown on...the leader of The Lightning Crew! COLE Am...am I seeing things!? Is this really happening!? COACH It's really happening, Michael! After all these years, it's finally happened! The Lightning Crew has had enough of Tha Puerto Rican bossing them around! The crowd, having fallen in love with Tha Puerto Rican, starts booing loudly. But their boos don't stop the beatdown taking place on The Corporate...uh...The...Champ. Popick meanwhile is laughing it up outside the ring. COLE The Lightning Crew has turned on Tha Puerto Rican! THE LIGHTNING CREW HAS BETRAYED THA PUERTO RICAN! COACH Does this mean in the PR/Popick war, they side with Popick? COLE I'm afraid so. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua choke PRL with their feet. "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" Vitamin X tells Wall and Boricua to back off, so that he can kick PRL right in the stomach! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! I'VE WAITED FOUR YEARS TO DO THAT! BOO-YAH~! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle to celebrate. That is until Cuban Wall punches him in the jaw to stop him. COLE What a shocking event unfolding right in front of our very eyes! After four years, it appears that The Lightning Crew is history! COACH They're Popick's Crew now! Vitamin X kicks PRL in the stomach again. The Bone Thug gets on top of his cousin and starts hammering away with lefts and rights. He starts choking Tha Puerto Rican with his bare hands! Bone Thug gets off of PR. THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL is lying on the mat in a fetal position. His sunglasses and Puerto Rican flag bandana have been knocked off of him. Cuban Wall motions for The Lightning Crew to continue their beatdown, which they do so to more boos. POPICK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COLE The Lightning Crew is beating down Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick couldn't be happier! COACH Things really are going his way! Stephen Joseph finally makes his way into the ring, holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his left hand and the microphone with his right hand. The Lightning Crew is still beating down Tha Puerto Rican. POPICK I thought *I* was The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST! Guess I'm not anymore! You've just lost ALL of your friends, P.R.! EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Popick rests on the ropes. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez strolls on over to Popick. COLE Oh no...don't tell me... Popick puts his left arm around the shoulders of a smiling Lindsay. POPICK And not only that, but you've lost the love of your life too. Your muse. Your motivation. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Or should I say, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-POPICK! That's right. Lindsay and I got married in a chapel early Monday morning in Las Vegas! We were waiting for the right moment to surprise you! What better time than now? Lindsay rests her head on Popick's left shoulder. POPICK And that little innocent peck on the cheek wasn't the only thing Lindsay gave me last Sunday night! OH~! COLE But she's PR's fiancee! COACH Not anymore she ain't! POPICK I love you, wifey! Stephen Joseph Popick makes out with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. The crowd boos. COLE Ugh! What a disgusting sight! Popick kissing a woman is disturbing! Lindsay removes her engagement ring and throws it down onto the mat with a look of disgust on her gorgeous face. POPICK Hey Lindsay, why don't you give PR one last kiss? Lindsay walks on over to where PRL is lying and picks him up by his hair. She smiles an evil grin at him. PRL is crushed. He mouths, "Why?" Lindsay's smile turns into a sneer. *SLAP!* Lindsay slaps PRL across the face! POPICK OH! OH HO HO HO! YOU GOT HIM GOOD! YOU GOT HIM GOOD, GIRL! Princess Stacey takes the opportunity to run over and kick PRL in the nuts with her right heel shoe! Cuban Wall then bounces off the ropes, jumps up, and comes crashing down onto Tha Puerto Rican with The Lightning Crew Splash! POPICK YES! YES! YES! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT! THAT'S THE WAY MY CREW WORKS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAA! COLE This is unbelievable! Cuban Wall with The Lightning Crew Splash!...Is it still called The Lightning Crew Splash? Cuban Wall taunts his former boss! He stands up and raises his hands in the air to loud boos. Popick applauds him. COACH It's all over. It all ended in an instant. COLE The Lightning Crew has kicked out Tha Puerto Rican! They all just tossed him out like yesterday's garbage! COACH And now PRL's lying on the mat like yesterday's garbage! POPICK Come on! Continue beating him! I'm enjoying this! The Lightning Crew goes back to beating down on Tha Puerto Rican while Popick and Lindsay look on with evil smiles on their faces. Vitamin X takes a break from the beatdown to rest with Princess Stacey. They both laugh evilly. POPICK Who's gonna save you, huh? Who's gonna rescue you? Nobody! Nobody at all! You are a LOSER, P.R.! YOU ALWAYS WERE AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE! Cuban Wall drops an elbow onto PRL! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK YOU DON'T HAVE ANYONE ANYMORE, P.R.! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS! YOU HAVE NOTHING! YOU...ARE...NOTHING! Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug pick the weakened Puerto Rican up. Cuban Wall punches PRL in the face! The Bone Thug punches PRL in the face! Vitamin X fires off a punch. Then another punch. Then a Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, then he SPITS IN HIS RIGHT HAND, and then fires off a third punch! Then he does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again. Thomas Rodriguez kicks PRL in the face. Wall motions for PRL to get picked up again. COLE The Lightning Crew is just demolishing their leader, or should I say, FORMER leader! COACH He's not the leader anymore! He's NOTHING! Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. A LOUD "P.R.!" chant starts up. Wall throws PR into the waiting arms of Mr. Boricua. Boricua clutches PRL's throat with his right hand. He then grabs PRL's white Lightning Crew T-shirt with his left hand. COLE Oh no! Don't tell me! Not this! Not a Chokeslam! COACH Do it Boricua! Do it! Do it! Break his damn neck! The Lightning Crew and Popick all wait for Mr. Boricua to deliver the Chokeslam. Mr. Boricua screams and yells. PRL is dazed and confused. The crowd is buzzing, fearful for Tha Puerto Rican's safety. Mr. Boricua lifts Tha Puerto Rican off the mat. Suddenly, the crowd starts cheering. Really LOUDLY. Because who should slide into the ring but the one and only COLOMBIAN HEAT! POPICK Colombian Heat attacks Mr. Boricua from behind, causing him to drop PRL! He then turns Boricua around, and starts pummeling him in the face! COLE COLOMBIAN HEAT! COLOMBIAN HEAT IS HERE! COACH WHAT DOES HE WANT!? COLE HE'S SAVING THA PUERTO RICAN! HE'S ACTUALLY SAVING THA PUERTO RICAN! Cuban Wall rushes towards Heat, so Heat hammers him with forearms to the face, dazing him! Vitamin X is up next, and one punch knocks him down! The Bone Thug rushes towards Heat, and Heat beats on him and then sends him to the ropes, following up with an AJ Styles-like dropkick! Thomas Rodriguez charges, but when he sees Colombian Heat look at him, he backs off. COLE Colombian Heat coming to Tha Puerto Rican's aid for the first time in three long years! Heat goes back to Mr. Boricua, knocking him loopy with forearms to the face. He then whips Boricua into the ropes, and hits him with a leg lariat, knocking him down to the mat! Heat follows that up with the "Where The Hood At!?" Rolling Thunder onto Boricua! At this point, Popick himself goes for a punch--BLOCKED! Heat hammers away on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to the crowd's delight! COLE Heat taking it to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Heat stuns Popick enough that he can whip him into the ropes. But Popick stops in his tracks, holding onto the ropes so that he can quickly escape out of the ring! Stephen Joseph grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from the mat and begins walking up the entrance ramp, soon joined by his new wife, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! COLE Colombian Heat is actually HELPING Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Does Tha Puerto Rican even realize this? Vitamin X hammers Heat from behind! He unleashes lefts and rights onto the back of the neck of the Colombian superstar! The crowd boos loudly. But then, X is turned around by Tha Puerto Rican, who starts nailing The X-Man with Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT! Punch! Vitamin X goes flying over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Vitamin X is out of the ring! Tha Puerto Rican is back on his feet! COACH Princess Stacey, check on him! And indeed, Princess Stacey exits the ring to go check on Vitamin X. Meanwhile, Colombian Heat is taking it to The Bone Thug. PRL does some shaky leg kicks on Mr. Boricua and then literally kicks him out of the ring. He then spots Thomas Rodriguez cowering in a corner. Thomas begs off, but PRL grabs the Official Referee Of The Lightning Crew and starts nailing him with Rock-style punches to the temple which the crowd greatly enjoys! COACH HE'S A REFEREE, FOR CHRISSAKES! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT! PUNCH! Thomas Rodriguez is sent out of the ring by way of a PRL Rock-style punch to the temple! At the same time, Colombian Heat throws The Bone Thug over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE PRL and Colombian Heat have cleared the ring of all but one wrestler! That wrestler? Cuban Wall. Who is just now shaking the cobwebs out. Wall goes to attack P.R., but Puerto is ready for him, attacking once again with The Rock-style punches to the temple! Colombian Heat helps out, punching Cuban Wall in the face at the same time as Tha Puerto Rican! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" PR and Heat get Wall good and stunned with their punches. Wall goes to rest on the ring ropes. So, Colombian Heat and Tha Puerto Rican LINK HANDS... "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" ...and together, clothesline The Muscle Of The Lightning Crew OVER the top rope and onto the floor! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Both PRL and Heat fall over the top ring rope too, but hold on, skinning the cat back in simutainlesly! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE They're all gone! Popick! Wall! Boricua! Thomas Rodriguez! The Bone Thug! Vitamin X! And it's all thanks to PRL and Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat plays to the crowd while PRL paces back and forth. They bump into each other. Heat and PR turn around and stand face-to-face. They stare at each other. The crowd is buzzing. They start talking. The crowd is getting louder. COLE Are they? Are they... Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat embrace in the center of the ring!"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Yes! Yes! They've reunited! They're friends again! COACH That makes me want to RETCH! PRL and Colombian Heat high-ten each other! They then hype each other up and hype the crowd up. Both men, both loved by the fans now, play to the adoring public. As this happens inside the ring, outside of the ring, Stephen Joseph Popick is witnessing this reunion between old friends on the entrance ramp with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his right hand and his left arm over Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick's shoulders. Princess Stacey is helping Vitamin X up the entrance ramp too. Since the other Lightning Crew men have no women of their own, they have to help themselves up the entrance ramp, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Thomas Rodriguez, and The Bone Thug holding their necks, stomachs, jaws, and backs in pain, respectively. COLE What an emotional moment! Best friends reunited! And it feels so good! COACH Not for me it doesn't! Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat taunt The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick. PRL grabs the microphone. THA PUERTO RICAN Hey! Hey! Hey Popick! Popick! I guess you were wrong! Looks like I have some friends after all! Not only that, but I have the best damn friend any guy could ever have! And together, Colombian Heat and I WILL make you feel the Heat UP IN THIS-- "BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!" The crowd cheers. PRL hands the microphone over to Heat. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yeah! Yeah! YEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! We is gonna mess you up real bad, G! Youse is gonna paid, playa for what'chu did to P.R. You, and all those suckas in The Lightning Crew! Youse is gonna go down HARD like a hooker in Times Square...or Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez on a guy in Times Square! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick acts offended by that remark. HEAT Tha Puerto Rican is back, yo! And he is back on the attack! And that's the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-- PRL Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa! Whoa! WHOA! Colombian Heat is shocked. So is the crowd. COLE What? PRL Heat, Tha Puerto Rican loves you like a brother. But don't you ever, AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS EVER, use Tha Puerto Rican's catchphrases again! Colombian Heat nods his head. HEAT A'ight. Cool. PRL Besides, you didn't do it right. You gotta do it like this. Tha Puerto Rican stands in the middle of the ring. He bends down. He tilts his head back. He raises the microphone to his lips. THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP...HAS...SPO-KUN~! "Know Your Role '99" starts playing. PRL throws the microphone aside. He shakes Heat's left hand and then pulls him in for a hug. PRL and Heat both have smiles on their faces. The Lightning Crew and Popick are disgusted at what they've just seen. PRL and Heat turn their attention to the outside. They both have cocky smirks on their faces. COLE What a turn of events! We've just witnessed the end of the P.R./Popick alliance, PRL getting kicked out of The Lightning Crew, AND PRL reuniting with Colombian Heat, all in the span of 20 minutes! COACH The OAOAST is changing, Cole! This will lead to monumental changes in the near future, I can feel it! COLE Yes. Tha Puerto Rican's career will never be the same again! COACH Damn right! Not after Popick gets done with him! When that day comes, PRL is SCREWED! And there'll be nothing Colombian Heat can do about that! Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat continue taunting The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick. Stephen Joseph Popick taunts back, raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air and pointing to it. The rest of The Lightning Crew just stare at Heat and PRL with evil intentions. PRL tells Popick to "JUST BRING IT!" but Popick just continues running his mouth. COLE I guess Tha Puerto Rican ain't The Corporate Champion anymore. COACH I guess not. He never deserved that title anyway. COLE Weren't you on his jock just an hour ago? COACH Yes. But Popick was right. PRL is a loser! COLE Oh come on. The Lightning Crew and their newly elected leader begin walking back up the entrance ramp, all of them not taking their eyes off of the newly reformed team of Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat. Heat and PRL stare right at them too, and every wrestler, valet and referee in the ringside area runs their mouths as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing and the crowd cheers. COLE The Lightning Crew have kicked out their old leader and apparently have gotten themselves a new leader! Tha Puerto Rican has reunited with his former and now CURRENT best friend Colombian Heat! And this show is just getting started! We've already seen some of the aftermath of November Reign and I assure you that there's more fallout to come! Don't go away! We'll be right back after these messages! Stephen Joseph Popick holds the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship high up in the air as he continues walking back to the entrance. He taunts both Colombian Heat and Tha Puerto Rican. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Thomas Rodriguez all glare angrily at the duo inside the ring. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat both flip both their middle fingers at The Lightning Crew and then continue jaw jacking with them as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing and the crowd cheers loudly. This is the last image we see before we fade out.FADE TO BLACKCommercials Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 The camera cuts to the backstage area where Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat are at. The crowd cheers loudly. Heat and PRL high five each other. THA PUERTO RICAN Hey man, thanks so much for coming out there to help me. It really means alot to me. COLOMBIAN HEAT Hey, no problem, dawg. Think of it as me returning tha favour for you not hittin' me with a Conchairto two weeks ago. PRL That really left an impression on you, didn't it? HEAT Yeah, dude. It showed me dat there was still some good left in ya. I know betta than anybody in tha OAOAST when you're keepin' it real, and when you're not. And PR, you is keepin' it real now! I can see dat. Youse is tha dude dat I used to chill wit back in tha day. Glad to see dat he has returned. Hopefully for good! THA PUERTO RICAN Well, I'm not the same guy that I used to be, even a few months ago. I've changed. HEAT For tha betta. PRL Heh. If you say so. So, where do we go from here? You know we haven't been this close in about three years. HEAT Bro, tha past is tha past. Let bygones be bygones, yah'mean? We is off to a new start now. And we is gonna kick dat nerdy white boy's candy ass till he can't take it no mo'! PRL I feel ya, I feel ya. We got a big challenge ahead of us. Stephen Joseph ain't gonna take this lying down. I should know. He was my manager for three years. And now he's got MY Lightning Crew backing him up! It ain't gonna be easy. HEAT No matter. In this war, I've got yo back, son! And wit me by your side, ain't nothin' gonna stop us. We're tha bad boys of tha OAOAST! We play hard, we work hard, and we party hard! HA HA! PRL Bad Boys. Bad Boys. Hey, I like it! The Bad Boys. That's a good name for us! The Bad Boys. HEAT More like Badd Boyz wit a 'Z'. Trademark dat shit, homie. PRL We are The Badd Boyz of the OAOAST! If Stephen Joseph Popick and my 'friends' want some, then they can come get some, because The Badd Boyz won't back down from ANYBODY! HEAT Yeah! Yeah! We ride togetha. We die togetha. We're Badd Boyz for life! And Popick, get ready, cuz Tha Badd Boyz are comin' to get'cha! Word! PRL Fresh! HEAT Solid! PRL and Colombian Heat high five each other again. They then hug. Heat and PRL continue talking, both men in a good mood. The crowd cheers. The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick are assembled. The crowd boos loudly. Every member of The LC is talking loudly, all at the same time. Everyone in the room is in a very bad mood. The male members of The LC are still holding body parts in pain. Princess Stacey is checking on Vitamin X, while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick massages her new husband's shoulders. The camera zooms in on Stephen Joseph, himself in the center of all the commotion. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Okay! Hey! Hey! HEY! The talking stops. Everyone looks at Popick. POPICK Now everybody, PLEASE calm the hell down! VITAMIN X You saw what they did to us out there! And there were only two of them! TWO! The talking resumes. POPICK Wait. Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! WAIT! WAIT! QUIET! RELAX! RE-LAX! I have everything under control. CUBAN WALL How so, boss? We were just embarrassed by Colombian Freakin' Heat out there! POPICK Wall, we did not plan to get rid of Tha Puerto Rican for three months to let it all go to waste in one night! You agreed to join up with me because you believed that I could take you places PRL could never take you. And you would be right. But first, there's still the matter at hand. Namely, the fact that Tha Puerto Rican is still able to use his own two feet to walk. CUBAN WALL Let's go back out there and kick his ass! VITAMIN X YEAH-UH~! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRR! POPICK NO! We will NOT do that! Not tonight at least! No, getting rid of Tha Puerto Rican is going to be a little bit more difficult now now that he has some backup. Still, I believe in my heart that I have the answer to our little PRL problem, Lightning Crew. Lindsay, be a dear and hand me my cellphone please? Lindsay goes into Popick's black bag and pulls out a cellphone which she hands over to Popick. POPICK Thank you, sweetie. SJP dials a number. The phone rings. POPICK I just hope he's home now. Hi! Yeah it's me. No, don't hang up! I have a proposition for you! How would you like to rid the One And Only AngleSault Thread of Tha Puerto Rican...forever? Yes, I mean it this time. No, there's no catch. I know it's something you've been wanting to do since 2003. Well, nows your chance to do it! No, this is not a prank phone call! I'm serious! I hate Tha Puerto Rican too, you know. Since September all right!? God, do you ALWAYS have to be SO difficult? So, you'll do it? Come on. Come on! COME ON! COME...ON! COME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Excellent! Glad to have you on board! I'll fly over to your house tomorrow so that we can discuss all the details. And I'll assume that you'll show up on HeldDOWN~! next week? It's been a while. The fans would love to see you again, trust me. Good. HeldDOWN~! next week then! All right. I can't wait! See you tomorrow. Later, dude. Peace. Bye. Popick hangs up the phone. VITAMIN X Who was that? POPICK Let's just say it's someone who knows PRL rather well. And let's just say that it's the one person who I KNOW has Tha Puerto Rican's number! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ I like the sound of that! POPICK You should, Thomas. You should. Gentlemen...and ladies, this is the dawning of a whole new era here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread. An era in which fair and just rules over crooked and unjust. An era in which the ruling class rules with an iron FIST. And an era in which any and all traces of Tha Puerto Rican are removed...PERMANTELY! He is no longer MY CORPORATE Champion. He is just a Corporate CHUMP. And his 'buddy' Colombian Heat is just a Grade-A CHUMP! I now control the one thing that he THOUGHT he could control. And in my hands lies the one thing that he wants more than anything in the world. Popick stares at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. He grins maniacally. POPICK But it will remain mine. Oh yes. It will remain MINE ALL MINE! And together, as one united unit, we are going to CRUSH Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat! Crush them into dirt! Crush them into nothingness! We shall have our vengeance for tonight's travesty. And it will happen soon. REAL REAL soon. I guarantee it. The Lightning Crew are all smiles now. They all nod their heads and laughs maniacally. CUBAN WALL Yeah! Yeah! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK He's going down! PRINCESS STACEY They're BOTH going down! THE BONE THUG Él está muerto para mí! MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRR! The Lightning Crew continue gloating over Popick's acquisition. The camera does another close-up shot of Stephen Joseph Popick staring directly into the gold plate in the center of the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. He touches the nameplate which has his name on it. He has a psychotic grin on his face. Cut to Sofa Central with Michael Cole and Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman. COLE Who could Popick have been talking to just now? COACH I think I have an idea, but I don't want to say anything just yet. COLE Well, whoever it was, Popick seemed mighty confident that this person, whoever he or she may be, is the perfect weapon in his fight against Tha Puerto Rican! And it looks like it WILL be a fight! Tha Puerto Rican will NOT go quietly into the night. He's got some backup in the form of Colombian Heat, The Badd Boyz as they call themselves. COACH Just a lame attempt to sell some T-shirts. Lame. COLE Whatever the motive, they're here and they're ready to battle all EIGHT members of The Lightning Crew now led by Stephen Joseph Popick, believe it or not! COACH It's about time that they got some new leadership. PRL had been slipping these past few months. COLE How so? COACH By concentrating more on his World Title ambitions then on The Lightning Crew's needs! COLE Yet you sure supported him in his World Title endeavors! COACH That's because I felt he needed it, doofus! Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you? COLE You are really something else, you know that? REALLY something else! COACH Thank you! COLE Yeah. Anyway, fans, it looks like we've got another tag team here in the OAOAST. We've got The Love Doctors, The Lonestar Gunslingers, The Heavenly Rockers, The Christ Air Express, The South Central Militia, and now The Badd Boyz! And speaking of tag teams in the One And Only AngleSault Thread, it's time now for some more exciting tag team action as Los Conquistadors take on Rescue 911 in a couple of moments! Let's go down to the ring to Michael Buffer for the introductions.Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me? Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me? Gold lights flash on and off around the entrance way as Beck's 90's classic, Loser seeps through the arena. As the entrance doors part, the biggest losers in OAOAST history, Los Conquistadors strut from the backstage area. Though they may be inclined to perform some entry way theatrics, they're hurried down the ramp by pushy production assistants, who say there's not enough time for an entrance that lasts longer then ten seconds! And when they see Los Conquistadors walking down the ramp, they furiously order them to RUN so as not to take away time from the important wrestlers. COACH Hahah! Even the zit faced interns clown on these suckas! Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me? Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me? BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with..WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6QlFEL1Nfs Los Conquistadors are well past the state of disbelief that their entrance has been cut off to display a clip of a twelve year old smacking himself in the nuts. But the more pressing issue becomes that not a soul in the arena seems to care about their highly humiliating plight. They're left to only preach to the choir, complaining about a company that has deemed then less important then a teenager's testicles. COACH If Los Conquistadors ever became trapped in quicksand, not only would Lassie not run for help, but she'd whack them a few times with a severed branch to make sure he sunk properly. Dudes is lame. COLE Yes, well, the last time Los Conquistadors were allowed on HeldDOWN they lost to Holly-Wood and Melody Nerdly. Since then they've been banished to our Syndicated programing where they've been handed losses from everyone from the Christ Air Express, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, and James Riggs by himself. Now here is there chance to make good with a worldwide audience. Through the loud speakers emerges the somber piano keys of Cold War Kids' Hospital Beds. Hard pounding drum beats join it, melded with equally distressed vocals.Tell me the story of how you ended up here I've heard it all in the hospital Nurses are fussin' Doctors on tour Somewhere in India I got one friend layin' across from me I did not choose him, he did not choose me We've got no chance of recovering Sharing hospital Joy and misery Joy and misery Joy and misery The proud owners of this STUPENDOUS entrance music, Rescue 911 step through the entrance doors to a small round of polite applause. Outfitted in black trunks and red boots, and elbow pads, EMT Tim nods to the audience before heading towards the ring. His partner stares from behind thick rimmed sunglasses, clad in a pink and white Hawaiian t-shirt, and khaki pants. He then pumps his fist and joins his partner in the trip to the ring. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes...now making their way to the ring representing the OAOAST First Responders Unit, introducing first from New York City Detective Bosley, and his partner from Peoria, Illinois, EMT Tim Cash, together they are RESCUE-NINE-ONE-ONE! The poor men in gold find themselves treated with even greater disrespect, when they see that the production assistants not only don't rush them down the ramp as if they were Olympic sprinters, but they also offer them complimentary drink service! COLE Gotta love Rescue 911! Two guys who always do things the right way and the honest way. It seems like we could use a few more of their type on the roster. Eh, Coach? COACH Yeah, if we want to go out of business in six months. DING DING Cash begins the match squaring off against Uno. Having no desire to play by any sort of rules, Uno attempts to draw first blood through the use of a kick to the balls! Thankfully, the EMT catches the boot before it collides with his testicles. He gives the Conquistadors a stern warning about the low blow, which provides Dos with the distraction needed to sneak into the ring, and neckrbeaker him to the canvas! COLE Foul play! Bosley shares simillar and more vulgar sentiments, as he leans through the ropes, trying to get at the golden twins. He's held off by referee Billy Silverman, which allows the Mexican duo to double team Cash with a pair of elbow drops. Right after their strike connects, Dos scampers out of the ring, leaving Uno to make a clean pin... ONE TWO Cash kicks out of the pinfall, drawing a small cheer from the sold out audience. He leaps to his feet under his own power and begins trading strikes with the winless grappler. Understanding that he has zero chance of besting the EMT in a brawl, Uno cheats once again and eye rakes Cash. With his opponent blinded for the moment, Uno is free to retreat to his corner and bring Dos into the affair. Making his first legal appearance into the match, Dos upends the Perioa native with a running cross body block. However, any possibilities of a pin are snuffed out when Cash reverses it into a pinfall of his own... ONE TWO But, Dos kicks out! He's not out of the woods yet, though, as Cash drags him into his corner and applies the tag with Detective Bosley. Together they trap Dos into a double front facelock and raise him into the skies for a vertical suplex! But the eternal jobber manages to slip free of their grasp, landing behind them on the ring apron. Stunned, Cash is powerless to stop Dos from slamming his face into the turnbuckles. With Cash incapacitated, Dos succeeds in overtaking Bosley with a sunset flip! ONE TWO But, Pigley kicks out, and does not look entirely pleased with Dos' antics. But before he gets a chance to prove just how angry he truly is, Dos takes him off his feet with a leg sweep! As Bosley quickly rises to deal with these annoying combatants, Dos has already applied the tag to Uno. Joining their hands, they manage to surge at the New Yorker with a double lariat. But he ducks beneath their arms, and runs the ropes, returning with his mind set on a lariat of his own! But the Mexicans move a hair too quick for him and floor him with a double dropkick! COLE Wow Los Conquistadors aren't looking so bad right now! COACH Give it time. Give it time. After exchanging a high five, Dos leaves the ring. Uno is left to pepper Bosley with stomps, but after the third one becomes distracted by Cash's presence on the ring ropes. Moving with amazing speed, he launches his elbow into Cash's forehead, blasting him from the apron. As a couple fans boo the cheap shot, Dos returns to bulldoze the Detective with a running forearm smash. But Bosley is waiting for his arrival and drags him down to the canvas with an armbar takedown! However the super-agile luchadore quickly kips out of the submission hold, and runs to make a tag with his partner. COLE Lots and lots of tags from Los Conquistadors. Maybe this is their new strategy! Rather then enter the ring, Dos speedily ventures atop the turnbuckle, and flies off with a spinning wheel kick! But Bosley ducks bellow the descending missile, leaving the poor luchadore to crash and burn into the canvas! COACH I told you to give it time. And here it is. Clutching his wounded back, Dos valiantly battles to his feet. But all his achievements end there, as Bosley drives him downwards with a Serving Hard Time (Bossman Slam)! Bosley reaches forward and hooks the leg for the crucial pinfall... ONE TWO BROKEN UP BY UNO! Uno begins hammering Bosley with punches, even as the officer of the law begins to stand. Though he's more then capable of handling Dos by himself, Bosley is given some helpful assistance by his partner who nails him with punches of his own. Unable to resist the dual police brutality, Uno is reduced into a whimpering wreck. That's just perfect for Detective Bosley who hits him with his NYPD-DT (Suplex into a DDT)! As Cash leans against the ropes, celebrating the upcoming victory, the referee counts the pinfall.. ONE! TWO! THREE! Bosley immediately dismounts Dos and gives his partner a warm hug for their accomplishment. BUFFER The winners of this match as a result of pinfall...RESCUE 911 COLE Not a bad showing for Rescue 911! After spending most of 2007 on the losing end, Rescue 911 is closing out the year very strongly, riding a six match winning streak. And with the Anderson Cup starting in January, you have to wonder if they can carry that momentum over into such an important tournament. COACH Rescue 911 beats little kids from OAOVW, and Los Conquistadors for their wins. That tournament will probably feature the likes of The Beverly Hills Blonds, Team Heyross, The Christ Air Express. So, you're answer is a big fat no. Who even knows if Rescue 911 will be allowed into the tournament?Your One and Only New Year's CelebrationJanuary 3, 2008-Monterrey, Mexico Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 Meanwhiles, back in the office of AngleSault, Maggie Nerdly is shooting the breeze with the boss. With AS looking utterly bemused by Maggie's fresh, hip lingo, he tries to look like he's taking it all in all the same. "Oi!" The thick cockney voice of Nathaniel Black interrupts the boss mid-conversation, which would be a relief were it not for the fact it's Nathaniel Black interrupting. ANGLESAULT I'll talk to you later Maggie. Maggie quickly leaves, as AS turns and glares at Black. ANGLESAULT What the hell's the meaning of this? BLACK I might well ask yeh the same thing. Sixty days. Sixty. Bloody. Days, I've been sittin' on my arse unable to wrestle 'cause of you an' this 'suspension' you gave me. I get 'ere tonight an' they barely even let me in the pissing building, let alone in 'ere. Enough is enough. All I did was punt a ball in someone's gob, anyone'd think I assaulted a fan or some'it. ANGLESAULT You ruined a special attraction on live Pay Per View, for which we bought in a special guest... flew in a special guest no less. Do you realise the negative publicity we recieved? Or how much we would have ended up paying out had Kasey been caught up in your little ambush? Nevermind the fact you've put one of our most exciting talents out of the business indefinately! BLACK Oh, you go to any circus in America an' you'll find another one of 'is ilk. ANGLESAULT You can't go around attacking and injuring people just because you disagree with their style of wrestling! We're a global company. If you want to survive here, you're going to have to learn to adapt. You're not in Japan anymore. BLACK An' don't I bloody well know it! AS scowls. BLACK Listen, all I want is a match tonight, a'ight? I've got sixty days of frustration to take out on someone. Don't give a toss who it is. Just gimme a fight. ANGLESAULT Well, you've served your suspension. BLACK Yep. ANGLESAULT Tell you what, your newfound buddies Faqu and Blonde made their demands to me too earlier this week. I don't know how you guys did things in HI-YAH, but all these demands and insistances aren't the way I like to do business. Just so you now. But, seeing as I'm trying to fair, let's be fair. Faqu and Blonde wanted The Christ Air Express again... but, how about we make it you, Faqu and Blonde, seeing as you're all so comfortable doing your dirty work as a trio... you three, taking on Christ Air and a partner of their choosing. How does that sound? BLACK Magic. Just magic. Black marches back out of the office, leaving AngleSault sighing at the people he has to deal with day to day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sunday Novemeber 25th The home of Krista Isadora Duncan Los Angeles, CA We're brought into the mansion of Krista Isadora Duncan, beautifully decorated with chic entertainment memrobilla, ridiculously expensive sculpture, and Jade and D*LUX...huh? Yes, that's right Jade Rodez and the D*LUX boys have woven themselves into the high society digs of Chateau Krista. But they aren't some sort of slave labor assigned to function as human statues for the entertainment of those richer then them. Actually, they're currently dusting and tidying up her dining room, and trying incredibly hard not to break anything that costs over two thousand dollars. Exhausted from all the cleaning, Jade takes a break from polishing the chandelier JADE Alright, I have to get Maya from ballet, but you can handle it here right? I'm really glad we're doing this cleaning, guys. This house is so big we could be collecting social security by the time we're done with the first floor but, I think that Krista...I think that she could use this. I have to admit this was a great idea you two. SHAYNE (from underneath the center table) You should let us think for ourselves more often. JADE You thought to clean a house, you didn't discover life on Mars, let's not go overboard. Tyler steps down from the step stool he's been using to clean a china cabniet. TYLER I think after we're done in here, me and Shayne are gonna go mop the kitchen area, probably dust off the exercise equipment in the gym, then vacuum the home theater, and then..uh...get into the bedroom for an underwearinspection. JADE What? Can you two be more subtle with your perversions? SHAYNE I don't think so. TERRY TAYLOR (off screen) Uh, Krista! Uh, Krista! Face soured by a “Oh, what now expression”, Jade departs the dining room in a huff. Venturing through eclectic décor of the hallway area, she enters one of the mansion's many unused rooms to attend to Terry's mysterious fright. The room looks fairly nondescript, being minus the many chic adornments that give character to the rest of the dwelling. Its wood floors are neatly polished and unblemished, perhaps due its utter lack of traffic. JADE Krista's on the phone, Terry. What's wrong? Face as pale as a ghost, Terry can barely get any words out his mouth as his trembling hand leads Jade's gaze up to a most distressing sight. Proudly protruding from the center wall is what can most accurately be described as a shrine to Alix Maria Spezia. Shrouding a mammoth bulletin board and highlighted by several soft spot lights are literally hundreds of pictures of Alix, some candid shots, some taken from various red carpets, others are pin-up pictures, and even more are images of her and Krista in happier times. Perhaps more unusual is the life size cardboard standup of Alix, outfitted in a Santa's little helper uniform and holding a box of Miss Spezia's Sweeties candy canes. JADE Oh wow! TAYLOR This..this..this shrine. What should I do with this shrine? Rather then say “burn it quickly”, Jade decides to call for her friend and mentor. JADE Krista! Krista, we have a problem! KRISTA (O.S.) Damn it, Terry, just because you lie in there naked doesn't make it a spa! Its my garage! JADE Krista, please come quick! KRISTA (O.S.) There better be a fire, and several very hot firewomen. Hair pulled into a ponytail and outfitted in black workout pants and a white Blondie t-shirt, Krista strolls into the room. She instantly notices the worried gazes Terry and Jade pass towards her shrine, and awkwardly tries to gloss over the embarrassment. KRISTA Paging change of subject, paging change of subject. Please answer on the white courtesy phone. JADE Krista, this is a shrine. An obsessive, borderline psychotic, possible evidence in a murder trial, shrine! KRISTA That's no big deal, really. Its nothing. JADE Terry, throw it away. KRISTA Huh? No! Krista dives for the lifesize cutout, seemingly willing to protect it until her last drop of blood has been spilt. Not so willing to spill blood, but willing to at least battle over the unhealthy creation, Jade engages in a tug of war battle with Krista. Despite the fact that she's a four time tag team champion, Krista can't quite pry her treasure away from Jade, who so desperately wants to bid the object fairwell. KRISTA Wait, wait, wait! Just let me keep this! Please! I worked really hard to get it, I had to break into a Rite-Aid in the middle of the night, and one of the school children I ran over on the escape is still in stable but critical condition. (Krista calms her voice into a low sorrowful tone) You can torch the shrine, sell it to TMZ, use it to up my date in the celeb death pool, whatever. Just let me keep this, okay? Though she'd prefer any remnants of Alix leave the house, Jade gives into Krista's compromise. JADE Fine. Okay. Terry, get a box and take all that down. Terry grabs the nearest box he can see. KRISTA Wait, not that box! Terry accidentally removes a “marital aid” from the crate, which Krista angrily snatches from him. JADE (sighing and putting her arms on Krista's shoulders) You're in a bit of a pickle, and we've got to get you back to a place called home. KRISTA I'm holding a six inch anal plug named Kong the ANALhilator. I'm about a four day drive and a boat ride away from a place called home. JADE I know it hurts, Krista, but we've got to start the process of getting over Alix. Okay? Already aware of that painful truth, Krista frowns and nods slowly. TERRY I have an idea! Maybe, you should take a vacation! KRISTA Hey,who told you you could make eye contact? TERRY (lowering his head to avoid Krista's gaze) I have an idea! Maybe you should take a vacation! Not able to be away from Krista for more then three minutes, D*LUX burst into the room to offer their “helpful” suggestions. SHAYNE Why don't you go to the Virgin Islands? KRISTA That's a great idea! JADE Its not an island full of virgins. KRISTA That's a shitty idea! TYLER Why not some place exotic? Like the historic deserts of Egypt! KRISTA No thanks. If I'm gonna get more sand up my ass then the entire country of Libya, I'd rather it be because I'm naked on the beach making love with Kate Beckinsale. JADE We're trying to get her to heal emotionally, we're not trying kick her off the continent. Isn't there an underwear inspection you need to be conducting? KRISTA Huh?! JADE Back to what we're talking about, you have a certain...I don't know what to call it. Just to say you can attract girls, I guess that's an oversimplification on what it really is. You've got a certain rare quality, maybe its an aura, just the way you carry yourself wows people. If you opened your door you'd probably have a line of women stretching all the way to China waiting for you. TYLER (very loudly, as though he were expecting someone) Who could that be? TERRY Who could who be? DING DING DONG! KRISTA (looking outside the room towards the front door) Oh goodie what OAOAST midcarder who's half my age could be at the door to offer me unsolicited romantic advice? Cuban Wall? Vinny Santana? Or maybe its James Blonde! Wouldn't that be vomit worthy? Grumbling to herself, Krista leaves the room and heads towards the door. Against her desires to scream “Get lost!” she opens the white painted door and finds a delivery woman in brown shorts and brown shirt with a bouquet of flowers standing in front of her. The flower bearing girl is beyond gorgeous, with flawless tanned skin, vibrant blue eyes, soft Scandinavian facial features, perfectly glossed red lips, and short closely cropped blonde hair that hangs a strand across her forehead and reaches no farther then past her upper neck. WOMAN (taken aback by Krista's beauty) You're Krista Isadora Duncan? KRISTA Its taken seventeen years of psychotherapy to figure it out. But, yes, yes I am. WOMAN (handing Krista a clipboard.) Congrats on your sound bill of mental health! I need you to sign this. KRISTA (signing the clipboard) Who are these flowers from? WOMAN (staring with distinct attraction at Krista) Maybe you have a secret admirer? KRISTA Note to self: add can of mace and tranquilizer darts to grocery list. WOMAN (leaning closer to Krista, to the point where she can bathe in her sweet cherry scented perfume) Is that good for you? KRISTA Well, I'd prefer flame throwers but they don't make any models that match my eye shadow...oh, you meant the signature? Yeah, uh, its good.... Eager to spend a higher quality of time with the celeb superstar, the woman hastily scrambles for conversation. WOMAN Don't you want to put them in water? With a sweet smile, Krista nods enthusiastically. Beating the thick roses against her leg, she peers through the hallway, certain that there are no vases within reach. The delivery woman trails softly behind her, unable and unwilling to pull her eyes away from Krista's traffic stopping body. Krista is one hundred percent sure that there are no vases laying in the hallway, and turns to inform the delivery girl of that fact. She catches the woman undressing her with her eyes, and can't help but blush in the face of admiration. KRISTA I don't really think we have a vase. My friends are over trying to help clean this place so I hid anything that's worth enough to fund a small Nigerian militia. WOMAN (looking upstairs, but thinking of the bedroom) Maybe, there's something upstairs? Guest room? Office? I'm sure you must have flowers in your bedroom, you can just add these right in! There's a hint of hesitation on Krista's part when she's forced to follow the woman's yearning eyes up the stairs. But within seconds it looks to dissipate, and with a small smile Krista nods her agreement, and motions the woman upstairs. The scene returns to the “shrine room”, where Jade's vile stare is yanking beads of sweat off the bodies of Shayne and Tyler. JADE What did YOU TWO do? TYLER You said she needed to start getting over Alix. We just helped speed process along, that's it! JADE I just said that two minutes ago, you must've ordered the hooker two days ago. SHAYNE We didn't order a hooker! We ordered flowers from Fat Floyd's Floristry and Flapjacks. We couldn't have known they'd be delivered by Freaking Horny Francesca. TAYLOR She must have some kind of superpower. I've never seen a girl have that kind of effect on other girls. If I had her kind of power, I'd be getting it on at least once a decade! JADE (ignoring Terry) Alright, well, I think now is a good time for a lunch break. SHAYNE Its ten in the morning. JADE I said time for a lunch break. Besides, I still have to get Maya from ballet. Not quite able to combat the finality of Jade's voice, D*LUX and Terry are forced out of the room, and eventually right out the front door.OAOAST HeldDOWN~!RIDE ‘EM COWBOYLone Star Gunslingers in actionNEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy cues up and the horn dogs in attendance go wild as Melody Nerdly bounces out on stage and fires her imaginary pistols, triggering a blast of pyro from under the stage and the emergence of Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels. COLE Earlier today we caught up with the Lone Star Gunslingers, so let’s hear from them right now.* SWOOSH *A small box settles in at the left hand corner of the screen, as Melody and the Gunslingers appear in front of their CG backdrop -- a snorting bull whose residue spells the team’s name. MELODY JOCK Howdy. The Lone Star Gunslingers here with a message to all our fans and the Heavenly Rockers. Synth, Logan, you got off mighty easily at November Reign. You see, Baron and I vowed when the dust settled justice would be served, but snakes like yourselves have a funny way of eluding justice. You can run but you can’t hide. BARON As far as we’re concerned, Heavenly Rockers, you can go off and do your own thing. After all you are the World tag team champions, meaning you have the right to sit on those tag titles for as long as you want. But you will have to defend them eventually and against us. When that time comes you can bet your bottom dollar we’ll be ready.* SWOOSH * BUFFER The following tag team contest, one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, already in the ring, from parts unknown, the dreaded Mr. X! His tag team partner, from Mobile, Alabama, 277 pound, Dennis Huckleberry! “BOO!” Mr. X is your typical old school masked -- and overweight -- jobber. Likewise for his partner. They antagonized the crowd while the Gunslingers make their way to the ring. BUFFER Their opponents, accompanied by everybody’s favorite gal pal MELODY NERDLY...from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, Baron Windels and the "Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan... THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! Heavy underdogs, the masked Mr. X and Dennis Huckleberry jump Jock and Baron the very second they step through the ropes. MELODY COACH I reckon, in the orders of the Gunslingers, this isn’t quite how they planned on starting the match, Cole. COLE Most certainly not, but they’re going up against two men looking to make a name for themselves. We’re approaching the wintertime, but the competition in the OAOAST is hot and heavy. * DINGDINGDING * Irish whip, but the Gunslingers leapfrog X and Huckleberry on the rebound and level them with a pair of dropkicks. The TX Twister whips X into the ropes and catches him with a lariat. The cover! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! A tag is made, and as Melody fires her imaginary pistols outside, Baron fires off a couple of live rounds inside, staggering Mr. X with big time rights and Cowboy Bebop elbows. Quick tag to Jock, who nails the masked man with a running butt thump! COACH Hey, Cole. COLE Yeah? COACH BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS!! COLE ONE.. TWO… Huckleberry flies into view and breaks up the pin. As the referee escorts him back to his corner, Jock lassos X as Baron clotheslines him off the ropes! COLE Lone Star Lasso! You can put this one in the books. It’s all over. The count has to wait until Baron exits. Referee Nick Patrick calling it by the book, but it allows Huckleberry to sneak in and drop an elbow on Mulligan! He rolls X on top and exits! COACH You were saying, Mikey? Ha! ONE… TWO… THREE-- NO!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Despite protests of a slow count, Mr. X and Dennis Huckleberry go on with the task at hand. Now the legal man, Huck slams Jock and climbs onto the middle rope, spiking his fist into the canvas as Jock rolls away and tags Baron! COLE Nobody home. Baron drops Huckleberry with a top rope lariat, then follows it up with a big boot to X. Huck’s sent for the ride and scooped up, only to be thrown overhead and onto his partner with the DEVIL’S ADDITION! With the dreaded Mr. X out of the picture, the Gunslingers perform the REDNECK HANGOVER on Huckleberry! ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The guys high-five and receive a warm hug from Melody, who proceeds to raise their hands in victory as we go to…The OAOAST Event Tracker is Brought To You By Gillette-The Best a Man Can GetDecember 6 - Tacoma, WA December 13 - San Fransisco, CA December 20 - Fresno, CA December 27 - Phoenix, AZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 BUFFER The following... (re-reads notes)... Six-Man Tag Team contest is scheduled for one fall! "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship hits as planned as we're ready for our next, adjusted match of the evening, the OAOAST's resident odd couple (well, one of many) making their way to the ring. James Blonde swaggers out in his faux fur coat with a confident grin on his face. Probably because he's got Faqu backing him up, the 300+ pound Samoan marching behind his tag team partner, wiggling his fingers in preperation for the fight ahead. BUFFER Introducing at this time, team number one. First, from Vancouver, British Columbia... two hundred, eight pounds... "THE MOVER FROM VANCOUVER" JJAAAAAAAMMEEEEEESSSS BBLLLLLLLOOOOOOONNDDEEEEE!! And, from The Isle Of Samoa, weighing three hundred and one pounds... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Blonde and Faqu make it to the ring, Blonde takes a detour around the ring to have it out with a group of four fans holding up signs that read "WHO" "ARE" "YOU" "AGAIN?". Faqu climbs the steps without his partner, the savage Samoan sending Buffer and referee Chioda cowering into a corner. "Chelsea Dagger" by The Fratellis then cues to round out the team. COACH I wish those morons would stop holding those signs up. Our roster is too big. We get it. The lights alternate between red, white and blue through the intro of the song, before Black marches out and raises his arms in the air. Having now rolled in, Blonde applauds Black from the ring, while the Brit marches to the ring. BUFFER And, their tag team partner. He hails from London, England... weighing in at two hundred and thirty eight pounds... NNAAAATTHHAAANNIIIIEEEEELLLLLL... BBLLLLLLAAAAAAAAACCKK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Together, they are, INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN!! Instead of entering in any 'conventional' way, Black slides partway under the bottom rope so he's facing into the crowd and bridges up to his feet. Black throws his arms over his head again, with Blonde still sycophantically applauding him and Faqu still... well, being Faqu. COLE These three men, responsible for putting Jamie O'Hara out of commission and again, we want to send our best wishes to Jamie as he recovers at home. Faqu and Blonde, only recently returned from suspensions for their part in the ambush and Nathaniel Black just returning tonight. COACH Long overdue if you ask me. COLE So, you don't think he should have been punished for that debacle at Zero Hour? COACH He got suspended for sixty days for making soccer interesting. David Beckham gets paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a week trying to do the exact same thing. As the three former HI-YAH superstars group in the ring, the always rocking "Rock You Like A Hurricane" rocks through the arena, the opening guitar riff accompanied by a big cheer for The Christ Air Express! The twin brothers jog onto the stage and hit a leaping double-high five, before marching on to the ring with hand-slaps for all! Following them out is one of their legions of sisters, Melody Nerdly, pulling double duty for the night. BUFFER And their opponents... now residing in Laguna Beach, California! They weigh in a total combined weight of three hundred, seventy five pounds... here are MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AIR... EEEEEXXXXPPRRRREEEEESSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The Christ Air Express who've got this unnamed 'advisor' working with them behind the scenes, whom we can only assume is not Melody. COACH What gives it away, the fact they're trying to become less of a joke? In slide MARV and MEL, working the crowd as the trio of Internationally Known look on unimpressed from their corner. The CAE then remove their customised jackets, showing off their new ring gear in all it's blue and orange glory. BUFFER And, introducing their tag team partner... .:CUE: "Rock The Casbah", Trust Company:. "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh boy! Suddenly, the multi-national Internationally Known trio don't look quite so confident as to the delight of the Portland natives, LEON RODEZ emerges onto the stage! With a shrug of the shoulders, Leon makes his way down the aisle with some more hand-slaps... culminating with one with Melody Nerdly once he reaches the ring, stopping as he makes it to the ring steps and posing atop them. BUFFER From Grand Rapids, Michigan... he weighs two hundred, twenty pounds and is one third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the World... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" In jumps Leon with a flourish, high-fiving with his tag partners as Melody watches on with a wry grin. COACH You know, those two make such a great couple. COLE Uh, Coach, Leon's dating Maggie Nerdly. COACH I thought that was Maggie. COLE Nope. That's Melody. COACH Oh. Oh, how embarrassing. *DINGDINGDING!* Bell sounds and after some brief discussion, MEL decides to start things off for his team. No surprise on the other side, after sixty days out Nathaniel Black is more than ready and takes the lead for Internationally Known. COLE MEL and MARV, they really couldn't have gotten themselves a better partner. One third of the 6-Man Tag Champs, coming off his sole surviving role at November Reign. But it's MEL to start off here, with Nathaniel Black. A little foolishly, MEL tries to start things off by locking up with the Englishman. Seconds later, he ends up on his ass as Black just throws him away. Sitting up, MEL looks a little surprised but shakes it off and tries again. Same result though as Black again throws him off, laughing off the challenge posed by the Christ Airer. After a few choice cockney words Black then moves in and throws an elbow... but MEL ducks! A couple of quick right hands rock Black before MEL locks on a side headlock, only to find himself thrown off again, this time into the ropes. Back shoots MEL, going low with a baseball slide which Black just about manages to hurdle. But as soon as he gets his footing back, he's taken down by a Springboard Forearm by MARV!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Seeing an opportunity, Leon comes into the ring and lures Blonde in after him. Of course, referee Chioda puts a stop to that. Allowing Leon to sneak back into the corner and watch on with a smile as The Christ Air Express hit Black with a Double Inverted Atomic Drop... and then a Double Russian Legsweep! COLE Great teamwork by the twins, MARV and MEL! COACH Illegal teamwork. MEL covers... 1... 2... No! Wringing out the arm, MEL tags out to MARV. MARV heads up top and drops an elbow across the outstretched arm, then wrings it out... but takes a knee to the gut from Black! A European Uppercut then sends MARV stumbling backwards into a neutral corner dazed. COACH See, this is all Black wants to do. He just wants to wrestle. None of this penalty shootout stuff, none of these flippy-do-dads, no two on one double-teams. Just pure wrestling. Irish whip by Black sends MARV corner to corner. Up and over the top goes MARV though, landing on his feet behind Black and catching him as he turns around for a hiptoss. Black blocks though, turning around and into a hammerlock. As he wrenches on the hold, he's distracted though by Leon, as he comes into the ring and again goads Blonde after him. Chioda cuts off Blonde, allowing MEL to come in and hit the ropes, MARV ducking the dropkick which ends up knocking Black off his feet! COACH Come on, this is ridiculous! The Christ Air Express quickly send Black off the ropes and hit a Double Hiptoss, while Blonde is still busy whining at the fact he can't come into the ring but his opponents apparantly can. As Chioda finally gets Blonde out he turns to Leon and warns him, getting the puppy-dog treatment from The Silky Smooth One who pleads his innocence. Meanwhile, MARV follows up on Black with a Standing Moonsault! 1... 2... No! Applying a side headlock, MARV tries to keep control of Black as he gets to his feet. Black goes to the gut with a forearm. And again. And a third time, breaking the headlock and allowing him to pop MARV with a forearm to the jaw! COLE Black, very physical, as MARV found out there. COACH And all the more physical when you piss him off. Pulling MARV back up, Black lands with another forearm which this time doesn't knock MARV down, thanks mostly to the ring ropes. Black pulls him off the ropes with an irish whip and then ducks his head for a backdrop. Leapfrog by MARV though, stopping as he lands and connecting on a boot, before setting up a suplex... ...which does not succeed. COACH Yeah, nice try. Seeing that his partner is having some difficulties, Leon comes into the ring again and shoves Blonde in the chest to lure him back in. Unfortunately, this time Leon succeeds in getting Faqu's attention too and drawing him in. LEON Leon takes a comical spill to the floor to get out of Faqu's dodge, the Samoan left to field questions from referee Chioda. The distraction works all the same then, allowing MEL to come back in and help out MARV with a Double Suple... ...NO! With Chioda distracted by Faqu, James Blonde is finally able to come in and put a stop to the move. Rubbing his hands with glee, he then sets up beside Black, ready to take over MEL with a Suplex. Unfortunately, Faqu is a little slow on the uptake and keeps Chioda distracted, long enough for Leon to come back in. Quickly he grabs a hold of Blonde and together with MARV and MEL, they take Blonde and Black over with the Suplexes!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE TRIPLE SUPLEX SPOT~! Faqu is able to get away from Chioda now, ready to pounce on The Christ Air Express. Rodez gets to his feet in front of them though and to his shock, finds himself right in Faqu's eyeline. After a second of panic, The Silky Smooth One sees a big strike coming his way... LEON OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT!? ...and points up at the ceiling. Like any good half-witted Samoan would Faqu looks up wondering what amazing thing could have caught Leon's gaze... which allows MARV and MEL to clip out the knees with Double Basement Dropkicks, causing Faqu to faceplant into the canvas!! COACH Okay, I stand corrected. This is ridiculous. With Melody applauding away on the floor, MARV and MEL now turn their attentions to the outside where Black and Blonde have gathered on the outside trying to collect themselves. Taking off into the ropes, The Christ Air Express then experience some major air as they soar out over the top, MARV taking out Black with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA, while MEL soars through the ropes at Blonde with a TOPÉ!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH So, did I miss the part where this suddenly stopped being a six-man TAG team match, or what? COLE Since when were you such a big fan of pure wrestling? Left alone in the ring with Faqu, Leon waits for the big Samoan to get off his knees... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lays into him with a chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another, neither of which seem to do much damage to Faqu. Hesitating a little... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...Leon hits a third anyway, but is clearly beginning to realise that he might just be wasting his time. Especially when Faqu turns and growls at him, beating his own chest and showing that he's feeling no effects. LEON Uh... ...OHMYGODLOOKOVERTHERERIGHTNOWii Embarrasingly, Faqu falls for the exact same trick a second time in a row (trust me kids, it really works, try it at home). Only problem is, this time Rodez doesn't have The Christ Air Express waiting to strike. And by the time he goes to chop Faqu again, he gets cut off by a thrust to the throat anyway! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Away staggers Leon, followed into the corner by Faqu who rains down on him with some overhand shots to the head. Leon tries desperately to cover up under the beating, which Faqu barely stops before referee Chioda reaches a five count. Faqu pulls Rodez out of the corner and then drops him with a big Headbutt, giving the stereotypers of the wrestling world yet more to work with. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd are whipped up by Melody on the outside as Leon groggily tries to sit up, stomped back down by the barefoot of Faqu. Referee Chioda has apparantly grabbed whatever control he can as The CAE return to their corner, leaving Faqu and Rodez as legal men all of a sudden. Which is presumably why Faqu is allowed to drop another big Headbutt on Leon and make a cover... 1... 2... No! Back on the corner too are Blonde and Black, Blonde now taking a tag from Faqu. The Mover From Vancouver takes out his frustrations from earlier out on Leon with some stomps, stopping only to incite the crowd by blowing them all a kiss reminiscent of a certain Silky Smooth One. COACH First The Heavenly Rockers beat him down, now he's stuck in this match. If this is what Leon gets for dating a Nerdly, maybe I'll pass. COLE Speaking of The Heavenly Rockers, let's not forget next week in Tacoma, Washington, it'll be the brother/sister team of Leon and Jade Rodez up again Logan Mann and Hollywood... or, as they prefer to be known as, "Lolly". You know, giving yourselves and your marriage a collective name seems a little OTT if you ask me. COACH If you knew true love, you'd know the beauty that is Lolly. COLE Riiight. Blonde executes a snap suplex on Leon, coming off the ropes and following it up with a Double Stomp! Blonde then attempts the cover... 1... 2... No! Blonde looks a little frustrated at the count and decides to blame it on Melody Nerdly, for no reason other than to try and distract referee Chioda while he lays on a blatant choke! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Breaking just in time, Blonde makes another cover... 1... 2... No! Applying a front facelock, Blonde drags Leon over to the Internationally Known corner and lets Nathaniel Black tag himself back into the match. Black quickly drills Leon with an uppercut to the ribs, then as Blonde lets him go lands a big European Uppercut! COLE Man! When Black hits you, you stay hit! COACH Yeah, just ask Jamie O'Hara. Oh, wait, you can't, I forgot. COLE Uncalled for. Black brings Leon into the centre of the ring and slows the match down now, locking on a British 3/4 headlock and leaning in on it, sinking Rodez down. Rodez tries to get some crowd support going and Melody, MARV and MEL all join the cause, while Black continues to torque away on the neck. A couple of knees to the face take away any fight Leon might have had though, Black satisfied that after that Leon must be done and flipping him onto his back, lateral press... 1... 2... No! As Leon sits up, Black applies a rear chinlock, really clamping the forearms across the cheekbones to make the move as uncomfortable as possible. COACH See, this is what I was talking about. This is Nathaniel Black's way, a way which I personally respect and one which people like AngleSault and Jamie O'Hara... and these idiots in Portland clearly don't! COLE Well, I agree that the OAOAST is a worldwide company and it's great to have diverse styles, like that of Nathaniel Black. I don't think that's the problem. The problem is, the way Black has been going about trying to 'force' that respect from people in a way which really hasn't endeared himself to anyone. With the crowd rallying again, Leon manages to fight to his feet in the hold. Black still keeps the hands locked, until Rodez fires away on the gut with a trio of quick, short elbows. Irish whip attempt by Rodez is reversed though, Black sending him for the ride and swinging with a clothesline... NO, ducked, Leon coming off the ropes again... ...and getting MOWN down with a Running Forearm by Black!! COACH Now that's some impact right there! Tag is made to James Blonde, the Canadian quickly setting himself up on the middle rope. Kissing the fist, Blonde then leaps, coming down with the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop! Hook of the leg by Blonde... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Only two. Blonde and Faqu had been on a great winning run right up until that suspension for their part in the O'Hara injury and since then, things have stalled a little. They and Black could really use a win here. Blonde sends Rodez into one of the neutral corners head first, then into the opposite corner with an irish whip. Following in, Blonde connects with the clothesline and quickly grabs the head, looking to chain it with the Bulldog... ...but gets CAUGHT! Leon catches onto Blonde in mid-air and spins him around, sitting out with a big Blue Thunder Bomb to bring the crowd off their seats!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE IT'S DA BOOM! And it could be the chance for Leon to get over and tag either MARV or MEL here! The three Nerdly siblings encourage Leon to get over and make the tag, having been unable to follow up his big move with a cover. Blonde also needs the tag and has the advantage on Leon, able to get over to his corner quicker and reach up a shaky hand for Black to tag in. The Brit quickly grabs onto Leon's ankle and pulls him from the corner, agonisingly close to making the tag, to the despair of The Christ Air Express. Black then hauls Leon to his feet and... *SMACK!* ...GETS CRACKED WITH AN ENZIGURI!! *SLAP!* "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE There's the tag! Here comes MARV! Rushing into the ring, MARV goes right for Faqu and dropkicks him off the apron... *CRASH!* ...CAUSING HIM TO FALL FACE-FIRST INTO THE RING STEPS!! MARV then speeds back towards Black, hitting the ropes in front as he gets to his feet and knocking him down with a Flying Forearm! A dropkick then knocks Black down! And another, MARV really feeling it now and throwing up some "RAWK"! COLE The pace hasn't so much quickened as exploded here! Quick tag is made to MEL, The Christ Air Express combining as they take Black to the PEARLY GATES with an Enziguri/Flatliner combination!! COLE That could do it right there! MEL makes the cover, MARV keeping guard... 1... 2... KICKOUT! MARV cuts off Blonde's late attempt at a save and keeps on the attack on him, while MEL heads up top. Not wasting any time with the crowd he quickly reaches the top... but it still doesn't help him as Black makes a sudden dive for the ropes, managing to crotch MEL across the top turnbuckle!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And I suppose that constitutes 'pure wrestling', does it Coach? COACH Hey, worked for me. Melody looks on in horror at her brother's misfortune, as do many of the females in attendance. Over goes Black to help out Blonde, clubbing MARV from behind and dragging him away. An irish whip sends MARV into a corner, Black just a couple of steps behind him and crushing him against the turnbuckles with a Flying Knee Attack! Black then bundles MARV out of the corner and right into the path of James Blonde, who lays him out with a diving clothesline. COACH There's some great teamwork for ya. Black sits back as Blonde now signals for the end. Jumping over MARV's body he dives at the ropes, ready to execute the Lionsault... ...but Rodez from out of nowhere jumps onto the apron, catching Blonde as he comes out of the air and hanging him up across the top rope!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Over rushes Black, but he takes a shoulder to the gut from Leon from through the ropes. The Englishman then staggers backwards into the path of the soaring MEL, recovered enough to set up top and come flying with a Missile Dropkick!! Black is sent rolling all the way out of the ring, while MEL stays down nursing his obvious discomfort down below. COLE It has broken down again, the referee has lost all control! COACH And just like last time, it's Rodez who's causing it all! Looking a little lost, up staggers Blonde, walking right into a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Blonde upside the head with the enziguri! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! As soon as Blonde hits the mat, he's rolled back up to his feet by Leon and palmed off in the direction of The Christ Air Express. MARV and MEL just about get to their feet in time to catch Blonde, setting him up and GIVING HIM THE HAPPY ENDING!! (not that kind) COACH Three on one. Three. On. One! With MEL still hurting, it's MARV makes the cover... 1... Leon knocks Faqu off the apron again... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That's gonna do it! Melody jumps for joy as the three comes down, a more subdued Leon ready to fend off any more attacks with a deadly kung-fu stance for no apparant reason. BUFFER Here are your winners... the team of LEON RODEZ and THE CHRIST... AIR... EXPRESSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" "Rock You Like A Hurricane" pumps through the arena again as Melody slides in to check on her brothers. She also thanks Leon for helping out of course, as he certainly played his part. COLE Great action here, Leon Rodez and the CAE coming out on top. Still to come, Survivor Series showdown, don't go anywhere!OAOAST HeldDOWN~!MAIN EVENT TIMETeam Alix vs. Team KristaNEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen November Reign continues to Reign, because it is time for our mainevent of the evening.....a TEN PERSON SURIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION MATCH!VSWHIRRR WHIRRRDoctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you Bellow the frantic flowing of the red ambulance lights, the entrance doors rip apart, allowing The Love Doctors, clad in bright orange tights that shamelessly cling to their “medical instruments”, to step into full view of the Portland audience. Moving in flawless synchronization, they delicately and alluringly glide their fingers down proud, muscular chests, to sexy washboard abs, and right to the two pieces of hardware the majority of women would love to have inside their toolbox. Unfortunately the ladies' chances to be lost in fantasies of playing doctor with the two hunks falls by the wayside, when the much less attractive Vinny Valentine and Tony Tourettes rush onto the scene! Oblivious to the fact that people are actually offering him money to put a shirt on, Vinny V busts out a disco dance that wasn't even cool in 1975. With the moment ruined, The Docs can only trudge down the apron, trying to distance themselves from their creepy cohorts. COACH Forget Robert Palmer they shoulda come out to Undertaker's old themesong. DEAD MAN WALKING! These dudes is done for! BUFFER Now making their way to the ring, representing team Krista, introducing first being accompanied by his cousin Tony Tourette, he is from Brooklyn, New York, the Disco Duck, VINNY VALENTINE! And his partners from The Windy City, Doctor Max Anderson, Doctor Steven Pigley...THE LOVE DOCTORS! As the trio climb the steel steps into the ring, Maroon 5's smash hit replaces The Doc's old school track.Give me something to believe in Cause I don’t believe in you anymore Anymore I wonder if it even makes a difference to try (Yeah) So this is goodbye Like lava from a volcano, an army of teenage girls erupts from their seats in anticipation for Shayne Brave's arrival. Floods of tears rush down their heavily massacred faces, while they profess an undying love and admiration for the six man champion. Showtime certainly doesn't disappoint, leaping through the parted entrance doors with enough energy to light the entire state. His elegantly decorated denim jacket crumples to the floor, ripped away in an exuberance that sees him dart to each side of the entry way to whip his fanbase into further frenzy. COACH This sad clown, who ain't got it through his head that he and his boy, Tyler, is crushing on a butch lez, actually volunteered to be on this team! To quote King from Platoon, “You signed up for this shit?!”, and to quote Junior from the same film “Damn, youse a stupid motherfucker!” BUFFER And their partner, from Motown, he weighed in at one hundred eighty three pounds, he is one third of the OAOAST six man champions....SHOWTIME SHAYNE BRAVE! Aided by blinding speed, Shayne rushes down the ramp, making sure to slap hands with the legion of audience members in the front row. He then slides into the ring, where he receives his biggest pop yet. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" I like them black girls I like them white girls I like them asian girls I like them mixed raced girls I like them spanish girls I like them italian girls I like the french girls And I like Scandanavian girls A tidal wave of stunningly beautiful black, white, Asian, and mixed race, girls, wash ashore on the entrance stage, all dressed to impress (and undress) in nurse outfits. Repeated flashes of blue, purple and pink spotlights lights showcase gyrating hips, flexing svelte bodies, and long legs that turn and twist with the tempo of the bouncing music From a raised camera angle it almost looks like fairies fluttering through the magical garden of Shakespeare's Mid summer night's dream. At the very center of this lush jungle of female beauty, stands the most captivating creature of all, Krista Isadora Duncan. The camera ventures up from glossy high heels, towards tanned legs that disappear into an ever-so-tight ever-so-short micro-mini black skirt, and full firm breasts that bulge out a rhinestone encrusted halter top. Suddenly Krista becomes the center of a small universe, fawned over by the array of lovely dancers. However, she puts on a mask of arrogance, smirking with indifference as she pushes them away, and heads down the ramp. BUFFER And the team captain, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan!I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girls The ramp has undergone a significant metamorphisis, its cold emotionless steel flooring is now carpeted by resplendent pink and red glitter that sparkles wonderfully into the night. In an occurence reminiscent of a Paris runway, fashion photographers and journalists, all dressed in the same black dress shirts and slacks, work tirelessly to capture the image of Krista strutting along this majestic décor with the grace and style of a supermodel. As wind machines playfully blow her flowing blond locks in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path creating a whimsical light show with the roving pink and purple spotlights. Once she reaches the end of the ramp, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the wind machine's touch while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. COLE Broken heart or not, Krista knows how to do things in style! And that may come in handy tonight, because her team seems to be sorely lacking in substance. And of course, there's Mackenzie DeCenzo to blame for her bad draw. But, I think the question here tonight is how are Alix and Krista going to be able to fight each other if it comes down to that? Krista's team welcomes her into the ring with open arms. Quite literally, which is not good because Tony Tourette smells like he's been humping cow shit.I'm the teacher and you're the student Pay attention and I'll show you how we do it!! SHOUT! YEAH! Get off your ass and dance OH YEAH! Forget about romance, YEAH! and you can come here for the party! Come along YEAH! Play my favorte song OH YEAH! The one that turns me on, YEAH! and you can come here for the party! Shout! YEAAAA.....BOOOOO! Why the sudden change of emotion for an audience that was once delighted to see Alix Maria Spezia? Because the competitor they actually see first is the khaki pants outfitted Christian Wright, smugly gazing at an audience that despises him so much. Moneymaker takes position at his right, chuckling at the storm of anger that builds in the arena. Towering behind them stands Christopher Patrick Allen, cigar in mouth, and bouncing back and forth in his black MMA style trunks. Pushing his way to the front of the group is Biff Atlas, tiny aquamarine trunks showing off a slender underwear model worthy body. Bringing up the rear is Mackenzie DeCenzo, her magnificent figure enhanced by a tight beaded evening gown. Attired in an ass-tastic pair of black booty shorts decorated by a small pink skull, a skimpy pink tube top, and matching pink headband, Alix clings onto Mackenzie's arm, almost as if she were pleading for a way out the match. COLE In two weeks The Enterprise has gone from being the single most cohesive company in the OAOAST, to the most dysfunctional in history. And it all centers around Alix Maria Spezia and Mackenzie DeCenzo. I don't know what's going to happen, but my prediction is that a company where one member wants two others tarred and feather, and another wants to exploit one member for every dollar she's worth, is not long for this world. As Buffer makes his announcement, the camera captures Krista's blue eyes taking sad, longing looks towards her lost lover, Alix. The brunette tries to avert her gaze, instead burying her head within Mackenzie's streaming blond hair. BUFFER And the opponents! Introducing first from Venice Beach, California, he weighed in at two hundred twenty pounds, he is Mr. Recyclable NRG, and Bono's Favourite Wrestler, BIFF ATLASSSSSSSSSS! And from Vero Beach, Florida, weighing in at two hundred thirty seven pounds, he The Billion Dollar Heir , The CEO of The Enterprise, and TSM's largest investor, THEODORE MONEYMAKKERRR! From Youngstown, Ohio, weighing in at a muscled two hundred eighty pounds, CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN! Now residing in The Nation's Capital, Washington D.C., he weighed in at 8 1/3 bars of gold, he is The Natural Christian Wright! And the team captain, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Miss Spezia's sweeties, and The Enterprise's Head Of Technical Tactics Identifying Excellence, or HOTTIE for short, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIAA! Together they are TEAM ALLIIXXXX! The announcement of Alix's name allows the audience to end their onrush of boos with a raucous ovation. But that's not enough to quell Alix's nerves, and she continues to cling onto Mackenzie while trying to avoid eye contact with Krista. Not overly concerned with Alix's feelings, Christian Wright orders her to stay out of the way for the course of the match. COLE I just can't believe that Mackenzie would willingly remain associated with a group that frankly despises her to the point where they wish her an eternity in hell? Is Moneymaker's cash that powerful? Very eager to impress a certain billionaire, Biff heartily volunteers to begin the contest for his team, even pushing his way past Allen, who had deemed himself the starter. Though Allen isn't fond of Biff's behavior, he can only bite his tounge and return to the ring apron at Moneymaker's orders. Across the way, Vinny Valentine anoints himself as the starter without any input from his teammates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 DING DING DING Valentine strides towards Biff for a lockup. However, Atlas has little intentions on starting the contest on even footing and smashes his boot into his foe's midsection. As Vinny's blubber jiggles wildly from the assault, Biff snatches him into a side headlock. After a quick nod of satisfaction towards Moneymaker, Biff flings the disco duck over with a headlock takedown. Vinny crashes into the canvas with a thud, and his neck snaps awkwardly against Biff's grip. Despite this, he's able to kip up and power his way out the hold. Unfortunately he doesn't succeed in doing much more then that, as Atlas delivers an insulting smack to his cheek! Biff then punishes Vinny with a round of clubbing forearms. The shots sting mightily, and weaken Valentine to his knees, as he struggles to escape the raw power of his rival. His venture takes him towards the ropes, where he's forced to tighten his hand around the middle cable in order to support himself. But Biff makes these efforts futile ones by clubbing Vinny down to the mat. With Valentine crippled by the strikes, Atlas drops on top of him for a pin that's scored by Charles Robinson..... ONE! TWO! But Vinny kicks out, drawing applause from The Docs and Shayne, and wonderement from Krista, who can't quite figure out why John Travolta is on her team. Atlas scrapes Vinny off the mat by his gaudy pants, and shoots him into a neutral corner. The disco machine manages to stave off a nasty collision with the ring posts by clamping down on the ropes and skidding his snakeskin boots to a halt. Apparently he finds this to be a noteworthy achievement as evidenced by his decision to turn to the audience and ask, “IF YOU LIKE DISCO MUSIC THEN LET VINNY V HEAR YA!” “Disco Stu likes Disco Music!” Biff obviously is no fan of the disco, as evidenced by the fact that he smashes Valentine's body into the ropes with a bodysplash. While Vinny slumps to the canvas as though he's been hit by a bullet train, Atlas begins going through a tai-chi routine to keep him closer to mother earth. “CUM SERVICING SLUT QUEENS!” Tony screams, which somehow Krista takes as an invitation to jump off the apron and try and leave. “Miss Krista, where are you going?” Shayne asks. “I'm going to go drink the beers required to make that dude's gimmick entertaining.” Pleased by his decimation of Vinny, Biff tags in Mister Moneymaker, and even goes as far as to hold open the ropes for the Billion Dollar Heir. While, Moneymaker may get the royal treatment from the former NRG member, the capacity crowd is much less warm and their hatred comes fast and heated.“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” “SILENCE!” Christian screams, and of course gets the exact opposite of the word he called for. Paying no mind to the rantings of the audience, Moneymaker saunters into the ring with an elbow drop with Vinny's name on it. Unfortunately that Vinny must not have the last name Valentine, as the disco duck manages to slide away from the incoming bomb. Moneymaker's arm slams off the canvas, etching a look of deep frustration onto his rugged facial features. Having little desire to cross a billionaire, Vinny quickly scurries to his corner and allows Doctor Stephen Pigley into the affair. Pigley attempts to make a flashy entrance into the affair by launching a slingshot cross body block at his rival. But Moneymaker is well prepared for the assault, and Pigley lands harmlessly into his arms. What's not so harmless for the studmuffin is the fall forward slam Moneymaker punishes him with! Crushed beneath the massive girth of the tycoon, Pigley hollers out in pain, painting a toothy grin across Moneymaker's face. “MONEY TALKS, BULLSHIT WALKS!” Moneymaker bellows as he bounds towards the ropes. When he reaches the cables, he swipes Brave with a cheapshot, and as the fans jeer his audacity he storms back with his fist angled for Pigley's handsome face. Without giving the buff stud a second to sheild his features, Moneymaker's body screams downward and smashes the doc with the Fistful of Dollars“BOOOOOOO!” Robinson warns against Moneymaker's usage of a closed fist, but encounters the trouble of Mackenzie trying to convince him that it was more of a one-handed downward mongolion chop full of dollars then a fistful. Moneymaker doesn't seem overly concerned with the admonishments, and instead peacocks about the ring, singing, “CHING-CHA-CHING-CHA-CHING MONEY LOVES ME AND I LOVE IT! CHING-CHA-CHING-CHA-CHING, THERE'S NO ONE IN THE WORLD THAT I LOVE MORE! CHING-CHA-CHING-CHA-CHING I'D SELL MY OWN SOUL FOR A DOLLAR OR FOUR!” Worried, Alix looks to Mackenzie, “Uh, does he do that often?” “Usually he does it in poetry format. And butt naked.” Done with his mini-concert, and thankfully fully clothed, Moneymaker drapes his arm across Pigley's chest for a pinfall... ONE! TWO! However, Pigley shoots his shoulder upward! Hastily, he pulls himself off the canvas, but finds no moment to attack, thanks to the carefully timed punches Moneymaker lays into his shredded stomach. Having been quickly weakened by the powerful attacks, Pigley can't prevent the heir to the Moneymaker fortune from snagging him into a front facelock. And as Moneymaker drags him into the sky for a vertical suplex, all he can do is brace for an impact that turns out to be monumentally painful! COACH Even the most basic moves look sweeter when their done by a billionaire! Moneymaker peels his foe off the canvas, and shoots him into the ropes. Once the MD makes his return, Moneymaker's golden boot plants itself into his midsection. The affects of the attack are crippling, doubling Pigley over and leaving him paralyzed. The moneyed man takes quick advantage of Pigley's weakened state, grabbing onto his neatly parted hair and simply slamming him backwards to the canvas. The detestable move is cause for celebration from the Yale alum, as he parades around the ring, performing his infamous money fingers gesture.“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” After scowling at the audience, Moneymaker attempts a second pinfall... ONE! TWO! But, Pigley kicks out and pays for it with no less then eight punches to his handsome face. Leaving Pigley behind to attend to a nearly broken nose, Moneymaker retreats his corner to bring his trusted bodyguard, Christopher Patrick Allen into the contest. COLE And here comes CPA, who has quietly put together an amazing won-loss record in 2007. And now he may loudly and violently dismantle Pigley in about seven seconds! As Pigley unsteadily rises to his feet, Allen aims to do just that, by throwing a lariat towards his head. The doctor regains enough of his wits to shoot bellow the oncoming strike and speed towards the ropes. The cables spit him back towards CPA far faster then he would've liked, preventing him from offering an offensive strike which leads to his downfall at the hands (or feet) of a big boot! Plummeted backwards to the canvas, Pigley emits a steady stream of anguished groans as his teammates (well four of them at least), begin a much needed attempt to rally him to victory. “OINK! OINK! OINK!” they chant, while Krista contemplates the logistics of executing a triple homicide. “Come on Miss Krista, let's here you oink!” Shayne implores her. “I'd sooner sleep with you then oink on national television.” SHAYNE “Errrrr....OINKOINKOINKOINK! MOOO! MOOO! QUACK! QUACK!” she spews. Krista's decision to support him rather then risk sleeping with Zac Effron's biggest fan, provides Doctor Pigley with all the encouragement he needs to battle upright. Unfortunately for him, that encouragement does nothing to hinder the burly bodyguard from steamrolling him with a thunderous shoulder tackle! “SCROTUM FACED SHIT BUBBLE!” Tony hollers. Noticing Krista's reaction to his cousin Vinny tries to make peace. “Uh, he has a disease.” “And I have a gun.” Back in the ring, Pigley slowly rises off the canvas. In spite of his considerable anguish, he tries to go on the attack by shooting his black boot towards the ex-boxer's midsection. But, Allen catches hold of his foot, and with a primitive snarl throws it back to the canvas. The simple counter pushes Pigley dangerously off balance, and he's left helpless as CPA mutilates him with a lariat! Quite happy with his thorough drubbing of his weak opponent, Allen celebrates with a round of shadow boxing. Upon finishing that bit of showmanship, Allen applies the tag to mother earth's favorite son, Biff Atlas. COACH Pigley bout to get dat ass swung on by an ol environmentally conscious nigga! Eying down Pigley much the same way a gluttonous lion eyes down his prey, Atlas patiently waits for his rival to rise. Once he does, Bono's Favourite Wrestler charges with full steam, leaping into the sky to strike down his foe with the Polar Knee Cap (running high knee). Pigley is bowled over by the trademark strike, and instantly clutches a face that has swelled towards deep purple hues. Not content with one nature-themed move, the former nutrition guru agilely hops onto the highest cable for his pattended earthsault. Before dismounting his roost the Biffster offers the viewing world a timely public service announcement, “AMERICA, GIVE A HOOT, PLEASE DON'T POLLUTE!” While the OAOAST brass wonders if they fired the wrong NRG member, Biff rockets through the skies with a graceful moonsault. Unfortunately, midway through his descent, his grey eyes observe his enemy slowly rolling out of position. Suddenly panic stricken, Biff adjusts course on his descent, and barely succeeds in landing on his aquamarine boots. The unexpected landing moves him slightly off balance, which provides Pigley with a perfect opportunity to tag in Doctor Anderson! COLE Paging Doctor Anderson! The doctors of doctornomics pair up on Atlas, each taking an arm and thrusting him into the ropes. Whatever feeling of gusto and bravado they were operating under are immediately annihilated by Atlas, as he returns to floor Pigley with a polish hammer. Watching his partner topple to mat draws rage onto Anderson's face, and he attempts to unleash his anger on his rival with a straight left. But Biff moves far to fast for the doctor, and zooms towards the ropes. They spit him back like a bat out of hell, and he easily mows down Anderson with a spear! COACHThe Al GOORREE!! As Moneymaker and Wright applaud his performance, Atlas hooks the leg for a pin... ONE TWO But the snakeskin shoes of Vinny Valentine break up the pinfall. More annoyed, then angered by Valentine's interference, Biff casually rids himself of the disco maniac with a spine buster. Not bothering to pay the colorless corpse of Vinny a second glance, Atlas returns his attention back to Anderson and bounces off the ropes in preparation for another spear. As the dazed figure of the doc staggers off the canvas, Biff lowers his shoulder to lacerate his foe. But, much to his surprise and dismay, the good doctor slides out the way, and Atlas is left to destroy his shoulder against the steel ringposts. “OOOOOH!” Hollering for assistance, Biff stumbles away from his accident scene. He's desperate to apply a tag with his team, but as he turns to meet the waiting hand of Christian, he's dragged down by Pigley's rollup! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Biff Atlas Eliminated by: Max Anderson (pinfall) Advantage: Team Krista, 5-4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At a loss for words to explain how he got eliminated by one half of a tag team that's won two matches in two years, a dejected Biff sulks to the backstage area. The audience gives Doctor Anderson a decent sized applause, but still aren't overly convinced the male members of Team Krista are anything but deadweight. COLE Just the fact that Team Krista has scored an elimination by someone other then the woman herself is cause for great celebration. COACH Yo, I ain't trynna dis Biff nothing, but he could've just as easily been an alternate for Team Krista. Moneymaker, you a billionaire, shoulda just paid Chris Stevens to be the fifth man. Disturbed by the fact that he won't see his predicted clean sweep, Moneymaker gruffly orders Wright into the ring to destroy the MD. Just as eager to see Team Krista's expected destruction as his boss, Wright throws himself over the ropes. But, he has little time acclimate himself to the ring before he's put under attack by punches from the muscle stud. Quickly weakened by the strikes, Wright is hurled into a neutral corner. His back skids off the turnbuckles, and he's dizzeledly staggered back towards Doc Anderson, who flattens him with a kobashi spinning back fist! COLE Now, Team Krista is cooking! COACH Two moves, one a rollup and the other a little twirling slap, after eight solid minutes of beatings is not what I would call cooking. Anderson tediously hauls his verbose foe off the mat, and traps him into a front facelock, setting up a vertical suplex. But before Wright's Brooks Brothers shoes can even leave the floor, he reverses Anderson's efforts into a suplex of his own! The studmuffin's attractive figure crunches into the canvas, drawing concerned gasps from several female audience members. Unwilling to yield on his assault, CW brings Anderson to his feet, then promptly drives him backwards with his second suplex. Rather then seek the customary third suplex, The Natural floats over for a pinfall.... ONE TWO Anderson shoots his shoulder off the canvas, a gutsy show of resiliency that earns him a face to face meeting with Wright's dress shoes. Eventually, Wright grabs onto Anderson's meticulously gelled hair and roughly hauls him to his feet. He twists Anderson's arm behind his back and slides his head through his right arm. CW continues to contort his rival by gripping hold his left leg. With the MD fully under his control, The Natural lifts him into the air, then dips sideways. Doctor Anderson's arm is snapped against the canvas, and then crushed beneath the descending two hundred twenty five pounds of the former HI-YAH world champion.“CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” COACH The Enterprise is back to beastin on these suckas. Biff Atlas hit a bump in the road, but this match has been all Team Alix the time. The object of the fans' intense hatred drags Doctor Anderson off the canvas, and stuns him with a succession of body blows. With the ex-stripper dazed by the attacks, Wright is able to foist him onto his shoulders for the Bank Roll (Rolling Fireman's Carry ) “Cower, pesants, your master has readied the bankroll!” Wright gloats. Informing your foe of your next move? Not a good idea. Informing him of it in words that involve more then two syllables? An even worse idea, as it provides Anderson with more then enough time to glide down Wright's back and snatch him into rear waistlock. Wright tries with great desperation to pry Doctor Anderson's death grip away from his stomach, but its too little too late, and the Windy City native upends him with a German suplex! “Egads, my neck!” Wright moans just moments after crashing into the floor. “I once stole a bra from sears because my mom wouldn't let me have one. I wrapped it around a telephone pole and practiced uhooking it, while I whispered sweet nothings into its ear. I made America's funniest home videos .” Alix states Mackenzie wonders, “Alix, honey, what does that have to do with anything?” “Nothing, I thought we were just swapping stories. Didn't realize this was all about Christian day! Sorry!” “Silence, you dolt!” Wright barks back. “Dolt? At least I'm smart enough to have sex with women! Hmph! What are you doing here anyway, shouldn't you be at the West Hollywood Y bobbing for boyfriends?” “ARGH!” He screams ferociously. Against any desire for teamwork in his body, he charges his annoying partner, ready to smash her into oblivion. Unfortunately his path to Alix encounters deathly roadblock in the form of an Anderson Spinebuster from the doctor of love! While Alix laughs at Wright's misfortune, and Mackenzie tries not to, Anderson delights the non-lesbians by gyrating that heavenly body. COACH Love Doctors is terrible. Type of generic ass jobbers that make me wish Doctor Jesus got up in they mamas' womb with a golden coat hanger. The voices of the cheering females are raised several octaves, as the little girls in attendance are delighted to see Shayne Brave tagged into the affair. However, they're far less pleased to watch him be eye raked by a suddenly recuperated Christian Wright. As the grade school contingent douses him with hatred, he snaps the cute boybander's arm down with an arm lock, then drags him into his corner. Despite the fact that there exists a large number of fans calling for Alix's arrival into the bout, Wright completely ignores his captain and slaps hands with Mister Moneymaker. “DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH TO MONEYMAKER!” While the billion dollar heir steps into the ring, Wright fastens Brave into a side russian leg sweep position. From there, Moneymaker positions himself behind the fresh faced youngster, and reaches over his shoulder to tighten his hands around his chin. Once Moneymaker's barks the signal, Wright rips himself and Brave backwards. The mogul follows suit, sinking to the canvas to batter Brave with a neckbreaker! Right as Showtime slides off his attackers' bodies, the little girls cry as if they just found out Hannah Montana was canceled. Moneymaker, on the other hand, finds Shayne's agony quite comical, and chuckles loudly as he pins him... ONE TWO Brave forcefully kicks out! “YEAAAAAAA!” Clutching his sore neck, Showtime Shayne pulls his figure off the mat. But he lifts himself directly into a boot to his thin stomach. Caught off guard by the strike, he stumbles awkwardly until wrestling's richest man traps him into place with an underhook. The adored teen idol is then ripped off his feet and smashed into the mat with a double arm suplex. Moneymaker then halts any possibilities of resurgence by pinning down Brave with his exquisitely decorated gold boots. Once he's assured the teenyboppin cutie is subdued, he charges towards the ropes, and returns to plant a Hogan-esque leg drop onto the teenybopper's throat! As Brave gasps for his rapidly fleeting air, Moneymaker continues his mocking of VH1 reality stars, by performing Hogan's famous ear cup routine.“DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH TO MONEYMAKER!” Having grown bored with beating on a teenager half his size, The Enterprise CEO tags Christian Wright back into the affair. COLE Is there a reason they're not tagging in their own team captain?? COACH Uh, maybe because they hate her guts, and are only tagging with her 'cause SuperLez Mackenzie made them. CW renters the ring in a flourishing velocity so fast that Shayne scarcely has a moment to register his charge before a running knife edge chop slams brutally into his chest! Krista tries to rally her hanger-on/stalker, “Come on, Shayne! You can do it! Cling to hope like Amy Winehouse claims to her final shred of dignity!” Heaving for breath, Brave courageously attempts to fight to his feet. But the task is made all but impossible when CW awkwardly bends his arm forward, and hooks Showtime's elbow underneath his shoulder. Reveling in Shayne's cries, the DC native attaches his hands to his black arm bands and presses down, generating more pressure. Brave spends a monumental amount of energy to break free, screaming and yelling while he tries to pull Wright's hand away from his. But, The Natural counteracts these efforts by straddling the boybander's skinny body, making escape a hugely difficult task. Without any hope of shredding Wright's vice grip, Brave is forced to use an especially dirty tactic. He drives his finger deep into CW's onyx eyes, earning a pained roar from Wright, but also earning his freedom. As the crowd continues to root him on, Showtime rushes towards the cables. Upon his return, the wordy grappler crushes all his momentum with a standing spear. He follows that signature hold up with a quick pin... ONE TWO But, Brave kicks out, pleasing the fanbase, but enraging Wright. He rips Brave off the canvas by his highlighted locks, and punishes him with another arm wrench. Brave emits a pained yelp, but his agony quickly grows worse as The Natural pulverizes the limb with a single arm DDT. Wright's highly pleased by his dominant performance, and signifies his strength by beating his fist into his chest. “WE LOVE SHAYNE! WE LOVE SHAYNE!” the little girls sing, trying to get him to remember what he's fighting for. Actually Shayne is fighting for the hot lesbian on the ring apron, who's trying her hardest to distract Wright. Bubblegum pink lips curved into charming smirk, Krista leans over the ropes, allowing Wright's widened eyes to rollick through the sweet valley of flesh that is her fabulously large twin peaks. “Hey, handsome, if you think these are impressive. How about I rip off my clothes and give you the type of lapdance Moneymaker's sister usually charges fifteen dollars or a brick of cocaine for in the alley behind Jack N The Box?” MONEYMAKER There's no honor amongst thieves and there seems to be no honor amongst guys who may have been breast fed for too long as child, because Wright predictably takes Krista's jiggling bait. But, as always is the case with Krista's fleshy trickery of Christian, Mister Wright is left with a serious case of blue balls and a major league headache thanks to the running bulldog Showtime Shayne strikes him with! “YEAAAAAA!” COLE Shayne just driving Christian Wright to the mat, and making a major play for his team. COACH That had nothing to do with his team, he just wanted to cut in line with for the lap dance! Coach may have point, but Shayne acts like a perfect gentlemen, performing a minor miracle in keeping his gaze off her chest, as he brings his celeb-crush into the match!“YEAAAAAAA!” the huge colors mean they like her! Less enamored with her presence is Mackenzie DeCenzo, who becomes even more disturbed when she notices a distinct gleam sparkling in Alix's eyes. Showing why she may be the only wrestler ever nominated for an Emmy, Krista cranks on the faux-tears of joy, and with arms reaching towards the roaring audience, pours her heartout to them, “I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me! You really like me!” “Uh, Krista?” Stephen notes. “Huh? Oh.” SUPERKICK TO WRIGHT! “Now where we? Ah, yes, Romeo and Juliet Act IV, scene 1. I begin. Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband? But wherefore, villain, didst thou kill my cousin? That villain cousin would have killed my husband. My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain; And Tybalt's dead, that would have slain my husband.” Alix can't help but crack a soft smile at the fact that her ex-girlfriend has actually halted a match to recite classic English literature. Her current girlfriend? Not so amused. And her white heels quickly elevated her to the ring apron, where she appears ready to give Krista a piece of her mind. Krista comments, “Well, well, look what the cat, cleaned up, bathed, lipsticked, exfoliated, mascaraed, manicured, face lifted, tummy tucked, liposuctioned, Guccied up and dragged in. What's that? Are ya saying something to me? Sorry I'm not fluent in filthy skank. Someone tell Moneymaker's sister to leave the glory hole and come and translate!” MONEYMAKER Robinson joins Alix in trying to convince a heated Mackenzie to depart the ring apron. This massive distraction of having to calm the fury of a woman scorned, allows The Enterprise's director of security to sneak into the affair. He grabs Krista by the arm and shoots her into the ropes. When the blond beauty makes her return his elbow swings out in order to mangle her fetching features. But the plodding blow never comes close to reaching her, as she ducks bellow his mammoth arm. Her four hundred dollar heels journey her to the ring ropes, and she leaps on top of them, using them as a launching pad to spring board back at her rival. Allen tries to swat her out of the air, but again meets with failure, when her arms noose around his neck, and crush him into the canvas with an inverted ddt.“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “Hey, I did that in heels, you can at least use a fancier font.” “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Exasperated by the constant torment from his eternal archenemy, Moneymaker enters the fray to gain a whiff of revenge. Unfortunately all he gains is a whiff of her Valentino rock n rose perfume, as the fitness queen runs himover with a crowd thrilling high flipping lariat. Seemingly as delighted by the attack as the audience is Alix Maria Spezia, who does her best to try and hide her happiness for Krista's performance. But, Krista doesn't have any time notice the pleasure she's brought Alix, due to the fact that CPA has returned to life with a discus punch. Once more, Allen's movements are unbelievably slow, and the foxy mama easily rolls beneath his spinning frame. Her lovely legs then put her on the attack by whipping around, and smashing him with a wheel kick. However, the shot fails to floor Allen, and he remains upright, wobbling like the world's largest punching bag. This isn't much of problem for Krista; the buxom covergirl and she snakes her arms around his thick neck, and launches her body forward, leaving his unprotected face to collide with the mats at the hands of the Blonds Never Pay a Cover(side effect)“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Cheers quickly degenerate into boos, once the fans watch Wright shove (or ass grab if we're being frank) Krista to the canvas. But if there were any chance for Wright to earn payback on his long time scourge, its dumped to the wayside by the Love Doctors, who blast him with a double lariats! As the fans cheer their treatment of Wright, Steven (I always thought it was Stephen!) shoots The Natural's testicles into his chest cavity with a deliriously painful atomic drop. COACH Safe to say Wright won't be able to fall for anymore of Krista's tricks for a while. While Pigley keeps a whining Wright locked into place, Anderson builds up steam by running the ropes. Unable to break free of the ex-stripper's constricting bonds, CW can do nothing more then shriek in horror, as a pair of black boots scream towards his face! They smash into him like a battering ram, propelling him from Pigley's hold, and depositing him onto the canvas, where the crowd cheers his miserable demise. Mackenzie mutters to Alix, “Christian, screams like a woman.” “Don't flatter him he screams like a girl.” Above Wright's wretched corpse, the docs provide their starving female fans with the tasty treat they've been yearning for, writhing their smooth bodies through a spicy stripper routine. Alix happily comments, “Wow, Christian this is only slightly less embarrassing then then when you met John McCain at the young republicans meeting with a pee spot on your pants.” “Damnnation! It was Sprite!” "Yeah, maybe going in, dude." While Alix and Christian ignore the greater issue of why he can't control his bladder, Allen overtakes the dancing medical professionals with a pair of forearms. Anderson immediately sinks to the canvas, but. Pigley on the other hand remains upright, and tries to trade blows with the director of security. However, he's no Mike Tyson (or even Balrog from Street Fighter) and ends up getting ravaged by the lethal combination of crosses the ex-boxer tortures him with. Having wounded Pigley with basic attacks, Allen is free to move onto more devastating holds. Thus Allen splatters the much smaller grappler onto the canvas with a powerslam! Feeling Pigley's body sag into unconsciousness beneath him, Allen attempts a pinfall.... ONE! TWO! Vinny Valentine breaks up the pin by slashing the point of his elbow across Allen's bald head. But, the disco duck quickly pays the price for his meddling; Moneymaker loosens several of his teeth with a powerful $Billion Dollar Knee Lift$! He falls sideways, landing on the canvas with a harsh thud, as blood begins trickling from his lips. Thankfully he's spared from further thrashings as Krista Isadora Duncan introduces Moneymaker to the mats with a half nelson facecrusher. “YEAAAAAA!” In celebration of her victory, Krista shouts "They tryin to play the girl like shes saccarin. But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how i hold my gun I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. COACH Hey, you know what I just realized? Biff Atlas really sucks. But, Krista finds her joy short lived, as she finally notices Alix failing to suppress a smile at her antics on the ring apron. Yet, this moment of distraction costs her dearly as the recovered Christian Wright flings her into a corner. Moving with a stunning grace and agility, the former Guns N Roses dancer leaps onto the third rope to avoid a disastrous crash with the turnbuckles. As she perches atop the turnbuckle, Wright feasts upon the delectable view of her perfectly toned butt framed by skimpy black panties. An ass that shines like the moon in a clear night sky. Round, firm and tan. A delightful grace and buoyance. Krista seems to notice Wright's admiration, and wiggles her tush, which just melts Wright into slobbering goo. Goo that's face crushed by Shayne Brave. Or would be face crushered, had Shayne not been distracted by the bootylicious bouncing on the top rope, and missed CW entirely. Ignoring, her admirer's pubescent stupidity, Krista exits her nest with a moonsault press! She crashes into Wright with incredible ferocity, and Robinson counts the ensuing pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Inexplicably, Tony Tourette pulls Krista out the ring! While, the fans may boo Tony's complete lack of common sense, Krista just sighs and says “I know, I know, you have a disease.” “CHRISTIAN WRIGHT TONGUED BATHED MY ASSHOLE!” Tony hollers. Back in the ring, Shayne Brave is locked into a loosing battle with the raw punching power of CPA. After nailing the boybander with a devastating body blow, Allen roughly wraps his tree trunk sized arms around his slender waist. As Brave feels like his body is about to be ripped in half by CPA's brute strength, he's lifted onto his shoulders in setup for the dominator! The audience holds their collective breath, fearful over the fate soon to befall the teen scream. But this horrific ending remains forever lost in their imaginations, because Showtime is rescued by the king of dance floor, Vinny Valentine. As happy as the audience is to see Shayne live to fight another day, CPA is every bit as incensed, and attempts to dismantle his annoying foes with a double lariat. But they counter his attack, by thrusting their boots into his midsection. The makeshift pair give the bruiser little time for a counterattack, as they quickly unload a round of kicks into his knees. The searing of pain of their strikes becomes too much for the Ohio native to bear, and his weakened legs sag him to the mat. Gasping in rage and fear, he watches while the pair retreats to opposite ropes. When they return his vision is clogged by the dropkicking boots of Brave, and the back of his head is decimated by the same maneuver from Valentine! Cheers scream from every inch of the beach front venue, as a lifeless Allen sinks to the mat. COLE A D*LUX special, New Kicks On The Block, and a D*LUX concussion for ol CPA! Brave and Valentine lay their arms across Allen's chest, and ref C.Rob counts the pivotal fall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Christopher Patrick Allen Eliminated by: Shayne Brave and Vinny Valentine (pinfall) Advantage: Team Krista, 5-3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “YEAAAAAA!”scream the fans. SHAYNE AND VINNY MONEYMAKER If there where a smiley indicating violently tearing one's hair out, and jumping up and down on the outside as if a colony of fire ants invaded your wrestling tights, then I might have used it, because that's exactly what Moneymaker does. His overeaction to his team's stunning refusal to squash their disadvantaged foes, further pleases the fans, who taunt him for his misery. Still a semi-loyal member of The Enterprise, despite the fact that her boss wants her to burn in hell, Mackenzie turns towards her bored out of her mind girlfriend, “Alix, baby, you have to do something!” Not too concerned with the plight of her “team”, Alix shurgs her shoulders, “Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista, Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista. He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge Struttin’ her stuff on the street She said, “Hello, hey Jo, ya wanna give it a go?” Oh! uh huh. Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya da-da (Hey hey hey) Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here!) Mocha Chocalaaaata ya ya (Oh yeah!) Creooooooole ladaaaaaay Marma-la-la-la-lade. Voulez vous couchet avec moi ce soir? Voulez vous couchet avec moi?” “Not that, baby! Something else! “Ohhhhhh....In west Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground where I spent most of my days. Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of guys said "we’re up in no good" Started making trouble in my neighbourhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared. And said "you’re moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air." The one member of Team Alix who isn't distracted by song or blind anger, Christian Wright tries to calm things before their odds truly become insurmountable. He charges at Brave, looking to lacerate him with his trusty spear. But the teenager's denim jeans stretch through the air in a leap frog, putting Wright on a collision course with the ring posts. Fortunately for him, he manages to turn the deadly posts to his advantage and leap onto the second floor. As the cute teenybopper turns to face him, Wright is already halfway through the air, cutting him down with a diving shoulder tackle! The audience boos Wright's besting of brave, but they barely register on his mind, as he turns attention to Vinny Valentine. Krista shouts, “Come on Vinny, you can do it! You're the rough take no shit teenager from the inner city of Detroit with a heart of gold as big as all get out!” “Uh,I'm from New York and I'm forty two years old.” “Yeah, whatever, I have a manicure in an hour.” After that wonderful pep talk, the disco duck tries to stun CW with a standing sunsent flip, but the muscular financial guru refuses to be brought to the mat. Rather then wage a pointless war with The Natural, Vincent lets him go free, and journeys towards the ropes. The cables spit him back towards Wright, who greets his return by capturing him into his arms. The disco duck is spun like a disco ball before finally having his back shattered across Wright's outstretched leg by a tilt-a-whirl slam! The Natural roughly shoves his whimpering rival off his khaki pants leg and attempts a pin... ONE TWO Valentine kicks out, but still continues whimpering in pain as his hands move to massage his injured back. But, CW pries his arm away from his wounds, using it as a rope to drag him upright. He then throws the disco duck into the ropes. When the cables throw him back, Wright catches him with a lightening fast arm drag! The moment Vinny hits the mat, his screams are steady and loud. But their muffled by the two hundred twenty five pounds that lie across him for a pinfall... ONE TWO Valentine raises his shoulder from the mat, but not without incurring severe pain through his limbs. On the outside Tony senses that his cousin needs more help then his limited skillset can offer, and thusly leaps onto the ring apron to pull Wright's attention away from the lord of the disco dance. “PISS IN MY EAR! PISS IN MY EAR!” Tony screams to Christian. Wright stares at Tony, and wonders why god would allow such a miserable creation to exist. But, beyond that he pays Tourettes no mind, and returns to the duty of pumelling Vinny. Unfortunately its Vinny who pummels him, by smashing a trilogy of elbows of into his noggin! VINNY That little throwback to 70's winds up coming bundled with an extreme price for Vinny; Christian smashes his knee into his midsection, doubling him over in burning agony. From there CW snares him into an underhook and promptly rips him into the air. Nary a second later, Valentine is powered into the canvas at the hands of the Nightmare On Wallstreet! “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” Mackenzie may share somewhat similar sentiments, and yells, “Tag Alix!” “Never! She shalt receive no more then fleer and scorn, for as long she holds unrepentant for her crimes against my person!” Alix asks, “Uh, like, in something reasonably resembling English?” “Alix, honey, can you apologize to Christian!” As Christian stands in front of her, Alix caves in “Ugh! Fine. Christian, dude, like I'm uh, kinda sorry and stuff. And you better accept it, jerkface, because I've only apologized to one person in my life, and that was Jodie Foster, and only to avoid two years in prison!” “Your apology is as empty as your head, strumpet!” “Whatev, dude. I know how to speak your language.” Step possessed by a charming swagger, and a sly whistle singing from her lips, Alix struts into Wright's full view. As she faces away from him, shapely legs guide him through lusty heaven to the pearly gates of her scrumptious tan bootie, exposed in all its splendor by a self inflicted wedgie. As if Christian's urge for a bottle of baby oil weren't pressing enough, Alix's hands press into her sweet cheeks, and bless viewers with a spellbinding jiggle of the sumptuous golden brown flesh. WRIGHT Poor Christian! When will you learn the severities of your folly? Lulled into an erotic stupor by Alix's mesmerizing butt, Christian obviously fails to notice the quiet approach of Doctor Anderson. Its only when he's spun around by the doc does he realize that something is amiss. By that time its much too late to stage a proper defense, as he's already being heaved into sky courtesy of the Anderson Spinebuster! His frame slams into the mat with terrific impact, instantly draining all life from his body, and bringing out a large cheer from the audience. COLE Oh good heavens what a move! I didn't know Doctor Anderson could hit a spinebuster like that! While Alix tries her hardest not to laugh at Wright's misfortune, Anderson tries to further this amazing upset with a pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Christian Wright!!!! Eliminated by: Max Anderson (pinfall) Advantage: Team Krista, 5-2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“YEAAAAAAA!” scream the fans, leaping to their feet MONEYMAKER ALIX “Christian are you alright?” Moneymaker asks. Alix answers back, “Yeah, and the ballcock is okie-dokie too!” “What does a part of a toilet have to do with anything?” “I dunno, typically when Christian is lying on his back, mouth wide open, and covered in sweat there are lots of ballcocks around.” On the outside Tony is quite thrilled with the proceedings and tries to high five a stunned Krista, “Hey, unless you come served in a frosted glass or look like Jessica Alba, please don't come within four feet of my lips. thank you.” She tells him. COLE I think Krista may be as shocked as we are about the whole thing! There's no way she could've expected her team to perform this admirably! What an OAOAST moment! Alix pipes up, “Hey, uh Theo dude, can I call ya Theo? Of course I can, dude, I'm the only thing standing between you and snow white and the four angry jobbers. Maybe, instead of like using the dude who could get wood off my autopsy report, you oughta let the girl who hasn't been pinned in about two years, put her thing down flip it and reverse it. Huh?” Resigned to the fact that his only hope of victory resides with a woman who he harbors nothing but hatred for, Moneymaker dejectedly motions her into the ring. The crowd is far removed from his feelings of sorrow, however. Forgetting for the moment how excited they were to see Anderson best Wright, they greet Alix's first appearance into the bout with a mammoth shout of celebration,“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Seeking to hinder the brunette hottie before she derails his team's momentum, Anderson darts towards her. He extends his lengthy leg forward, trying to blast her with a running side kick. But his efforts encounter unbridled failure, as Ally deftly avoids his volley by grabbing onto his foot and slamming it back to the canvas. However, Anderson doesn't even get the chance to bemoan Alix's evasion, because in the blink of an eye she locks her arm around his, and spins him around like a merry-go-round operated by Satan. After a full 360 rotation, she plummets forward, spiking him against the canvas with Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving (flatliner). But it isn't all doom and gloom for Anderson, as Alix lays a bottle of medicine on his orange tights “Living with genital herpes doesn't have to be a hassle, because now there's Valtrex! My genital herpes has been under control for six months!” Mackenzie exclaims, “You have herpes??” “Huh? What? No! I'm joking! From the ad? Valtrex? You know, living with herpes..oh, nevermind!” Every fan in the arena lets loose with a wild ovation for Alix's domination of the doctor. But Anderson, who's now suffering the worst backache of his life, fails to see what's so joyful about his miserable situation. COACH Moneymaker don't deserve to have to depend on Alix to win him this match! Where's Biff? Where's Christian? Where's CPA? Where's people he can trust? With her foe trapped in a vulnerable position, Alix determines now is the time to reshowcase her alluring assets to the lustful crowd. Standing at Doctor Anderson's side with legs apart and hands on bent knees, Alix furiously bucks her voluptuous butt, becoming to ass shaking what Michaelangelo was and is to art. The gold standard. A poet would call Alix the light of all lights, to me she's the ass of all asses. Splurty sounds of young boys trying to cover their great shame as mom interrogates them about the hard sock she found under the bed. As boys across the globe pack up the Charmin and call it a night, Alix ends her pants destroying booty routine and rockets herself backwards, coming down across Jock's chest with a standing moonsault. As the audience bellows a gigantic pop, the referee drops down to count the resulting pinfall. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Stephen Pigley makes an ill advised attempt to break up the pinfall with a top rope elbow drop. Ill advised because Alix spots his descent out the corner of her eyes and yanks her body away from his fast moving trajectory. Thus the doctor lands with a rough clunk onto his partner's muscular chest, instantly seizing all the air and energy from both men's lungs. Though the rest of her team is dismayed at Pigley's failure, Krista appears to be grateful Alix wasn't the victim of a deadly elbow drop. Pilgey lifts his battered bones off Doctor Anderson, frightfully wondering if he may have fractured his elbow during the crash landing. But he's offered no time to attend towards his wounds, as the SoCal hottie pulls him upright by his bright orange tights and hurls him to the corner. But Pigley is able to shift his weight, and use his sizable strength advantage to reverse the hold and send the princess of Los Angeles to the ringposts. He watches her smash into the padding back first, then follows her in with plans of bringing misery to her world. However those plans fail to materialize thanks to the chocolate hair fighter sidesteping his rampage! He endures has a terrible meeting with the turnbuckles, his injured chest receiving the scathing brunt of the blow.“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Simply looking for a place to fall over and pass out, Pigley slowly staggers from the corner. Much to his surprise, he's kept upright by an unusually tight full nelson by Alix. But within seconds, he's being dropped to the canvas with tremendous force and his face is smeared about the ring floor with the Crack? Shit Son... I was doing that back when it was just called FREEBASE (Flashback)! COLE Oh! Where did that come from? CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Stephen Pigley Eliminated by: Alix Maria Spezia Advantage: Team Krista, 4-2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“YEAAAAAA!” After booting Pigley from the match, Alix decides to offer him some fashion advice,“GTFO Pigley. And what kinda tights are those, dude, that color doesn't even look good on an orange.” “Way to go, baby!” Mackenzie applauds from the outside. Over on the ring apron, Krista looks content with Alix easy destruction of Pigley, but at the same time feels a tiny bit of sympathy of the beaten doc. A tiny bit. A very, very tiny bit. No radical character development changes here ppl! COLE Finally, a member of Team Krista sees elimination. I guess we wont be seeing a clean sweep by Team Krista. What a story that would've been, eh? Pushed to the brink of a manic outrage over his partner's elimination from the bout, Max Anderson assiaslas the spicy Latina with a torrent of blows that land fast and furious upon her bare bare stomach. With her golden brown skinned turned a slight shade of red, Anderson He scoops her into the air, as though he were to execute a bodyslam. But instead of employing that pedestrian maneuver, he readies himself to spike her head against the canvas with Pigley's Time of Death (Michinoku Driver)! That is until he notices Krista mouthing the words “Do it and die”. As such he can perform no more then a body slam. COACH These are the worst Team Captain's in the world! Not surprisingly, the body slam does little in the way of damage and within nanoseconds, the bouncy brunette back onto her feet. Anderson attempts to quell her fire with a stiff forearm, but one swipe of her star studded gogo boots weakens his knees and shuts down all his offensive weapons. Mortally exhausted, Anderson is then launched into a neutral corner, where the steel posts savagely slice into the tanned flesh on his back. The pain grows even more intolerable when his enemy shoots forward to skewer him with a flying forearm! The numerous multicolored oversized bracelets on her arm etch their mark onto his once handsome face, carving up bloody cuts along their impact zone. Gravely wounded and on the verge of passing out, the doctor sags down to the mat, leaning against the turnbuckle posts for whatever assistance they provide. Ally backs away from her beaten foe, and proceeds to run through call and response with the audience, "I'M SO HOOD...." "I WEAR MY PANTS BELOW MY WAIST. AND I NEVER DANCE WHEN I'M IN THIS PLACE. CUZ YOU AND MAN IS PLANNIN TO HATE! I'M SO HOOD..." Alix sings, "AND I GOT THESE GOLDS UP IN MY MOUTH IF I GET CLOSER TO MY HOUSE THEN YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TALKING BOUT! Mackenzie!" "I'm so hood, my daddy once bought me a Saab instead of the Benz!" With her Tonie-socialite girlfriend having killed her ode to ghetto's everywhere, Alix resigns herself towards defeating Pigley. Alix rips him away from the ring posts, and curls her arm around his neck for the side headlock needed to begin her somersault neckbreaker finisher. Unfortunately her grip isn't nearly as tight as she believed, and the far stronger Anderson meets with few difficulties in powering out of it. Before she's offered a chance to retry her headlock efforts, her agile foe is rushing towards the ropes. His boots elevate him to the third cable, and he comes hurtling backwards with a lionsault. But Ally sees the move coming a mile away and rolls forward to avoid it. Fortunately for Team Krista, Doctor Anderson saw her avoidance well in advance and succeeds in landing on his leather boots. COLE Disaster avoided for Doctor Anderson, but for how long? Gathering her strength, the perky cutie stands up to end the Love Doctor nuisance once and for all. However, Anderson proves he won't go down so easily, by sending a closed fist to her face. But she stymies the Chi-town brawler's attempt by slamming her gogo boots into his washboard abs. With the fans cheering her on, Alix clamps her claws onto him with a second side headlock. His luck having suddenly evaporated, Anderson's lone option is to roar horrified screams as the sex kitten sends him tumbling through the air with the somersault neckbreaker. Absent of any chance to protect himself, Anderson's neck is brought down painfully against the canvas, landing so gruesomely that Vinny Valentine has to wince in disgust.“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” COLE Doctor Anderson, you just got your Shot At Love! While Mackenzie claps wildly for her sweetie's unstoppable obliteration of the Love Doctors, Alix attempts another crucial pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Max Anderson Eliminated by: Alix Maria Spezia Advantage: Team Krista, 3-2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“YEAAAAAH!” “Great job, Alix!” Mackenzie screams. But the opposite ring apron is rife with the downtrodden faces of a despairing Team Krista. Well, all except Krista herself who can't tell if she's supposed to be glad for Alix or feel sorry for Anderson's failure. COACH Three-two, Krista! The plot is a thickenin, Cole! Its a thickenin! MONEYMAKER BWHHAHAHAAHA! Excellent! COLE Weren't you just crying your eyes out ten minutes ago? MONEYMAKER Shut up, Cole! COLE How did he...anyway, folks, this is a stunning change of course for this match. Once up five people to two, Team Krista has been brought down to only being ahead by one by Alix Maria Spezia, who just ripped right through The Love Doctors. And folks, right now we have to take a commercial break, stay tuned for the conclusion of this bout!COMMERCIAL When HELDOWN returns to airwaves, the slender figure of Alix Maria Spezia is being replaced by the portly body of Theodore Moneymaker. Moneymaker's return to the bout instantly shifts the audience's joyful mood away from Team Alix, replacing it with a burning urge to see the billionaire by pounded into an early retirement. But Moneymaker delays their wishes by smashing a well timed elbow into Valetine's forehead. Instantly a small river of blood trickles from his brutalized skin. But he hasn't a chance to attend to his cut before the tycoon drags him onto his broad shoulders for a fireman's carry position. Instantly, the disco machine tries to fight his way free of Moneymaker's clutches. And he does encounter freedom, just not in the way he would've liked! Moneymaker throws him off his shoulders, and drives his neck into the top rope. Searing anguish spreads like a cancer through the throat of Valentine as he crumples into a heap on the canvas. On the outside Tony watches with rising panic, as his cousin struggles to simply breathe.“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” the fans scream. Back on his feet, Valentine leans into his rival with a straight left cross that Moneymaker takes in stride, firing off a right hook of his own in response. Unfazed by the punch, the disco duck returns fire with a knife edge chop. The strike pushes the tycoon back several inches and leaves him stunned for a precious few seconds. But these few seconds are all Vinny requires to lock his foe into a facelock. He drops backwards and mashes the man's rugged face into the mat with a snap DDT. While Moneymaker desperately tries to remember just what city he's in, the audience loudly cheers for his obvious pain. “Yeah, Vinny! I love ya like I love the older sister I was forced to commit against her will!” Krista shouts. Though the crowd may be delighted with Valentine's whupping of The Enterprise CEO, the disco duck's thirst for violence has yet to be quenched. Thus it's with great glee, that he seeks to draw a bit of blood from the slowly rising tycoon. Yet, Moneymaker's dazed state is but a clever ruse and he exposes his trickery by capturing the approaching dancing king into a roll up! Robinson scores the fall.... ONE TWO Fortunately Valentine escapes the pin well before the three count. He rips his body off the mat, eager to continue his thrashing of his rival. But Moneymaker delays these plans with a series of left jabs that sway Vinny's head like a tether ball. Thinking that the disco duck is a mere high impact move away from elimination Moneymaker attempts to send him to the ropes in hopes of destroying him with a powerslam upon his return. But, Valentine isn't nearly as wounded as his opponent believed and exposes Moneymaker to this fact, by reversing the hold into a short arm knee strike. Unable to absorb the attack with his flabby stomach, Moneymaker sags to the canvas, forced into painful labored breaths. This permits Valentine a moment to bounce off the ropes and angle his Boogie Shoes (Shining Wizard) directly towards his enemy's vulnerable face! But at the last possible second, Moneymaker tucks his head into his chest, avoiding a certain knockout! COLE Close call! Flashing a look of rage, Vinny tries to swing his attacking boot backwards to impale the back of Moneymaker's head. However, Moneymaker catches onto the shoe, and uses it to twirl Vinny around. Riddled groggy by the unexpected spin, a nauseated Valentine stumbles backwards into the waiting clutches of the Bank Vault (cora clutch sleeper)! The reaction of the sold out Portland audience is immediate, a strong, sharp booing as Vinny's face passes through different shades of blue on the way to unconsciousness.“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” With no hope, and no help on any horizon, Vinny's options become bleaker and bleaker by the moment. Thus he's left with no other choice but to submit to the powerful finisher of the detested heel.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Vinny Valentine Eliminated by: Theodore Moneymaker Advantage: TIED 2-2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “FUCK”Tony hollers. Needless to say, the crowd is equally less then thrilled with that result, and a whole new round of “MONEYMAKER SUCKS” chants are given life. On the ring apron, a cold anger burns on Krista's face, and fire spews from her eyes, as she's unable to comprehend how a five on two advantage disappeared without a trace. Brave tries to cheer up, but there's no joy to be had with the sight of guffawing Moneymaker lying before her. COACH Ha, ha and ha! All that talk about “wow what a story, what an achievement, what a victory for Team Krista” is bunk! Bunk! And now the sides ain't really even. Alix and Krista are comparable, but Moneymaker and Brave? Naw, skinny white dude don't match up! Coach's assessment of his talent aside, Brave decides to enter the ring for the sole purpose of pleasing Krista with Moneymaker's elimination. He overwhelms the money mogul with pair of blazing fast chops, that permit him to whip Moneymaker into the ropes. However, Moneymaker reverses the hold and Showtime is sent trotting to the cables. The wealthy Floridian lowers his oversized head, trying to trick Brave into using a leapfrog that he'll counter into an atomic drop. But, the Tigerbeat coverboy is wise to these tricks and slams his Nike tennis shoe into his rival's hairy chest. Hollering in half annoyance half pain, Moneymaker rockets upright, clutching suddenly sore pectoral muscles. “YEAH-UH!” Shayne screams, gaining a “WE LOVE YOU! WE LOVE YOU!” chant from every female under the age of twenty. Still intent on impressing his crush, Shayne darts back to the cables to channel momentum for a high impact assault. Problematically, his return is hindered by Mackenzie DeCenzo latching onto his left foot. “BOOOOO!” Noticing that Moneymaker is slowly creeping behind the boyband icon, Mackenzie does her part to keep Brave distracted, showcasing the perfect seduction of pouting cherry red lips and batted eyelashes. Its not enough to make him forget the twenty odd love songs he's wrote to Krista, but it is enough to distract him until Moneymaker's arms ambush him with the dreaded Bank Vault! But the crowd hasn't a moment to boo before Brave shreds Moneymaker's devices with a stunner that delights the Portlanders! Not quite as thrilled is Mister Moneymaker, who, clutching his jaw, staggers himself backwards right into the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (Reverse x-factor) from Krista Isadora Duncan! “YEAAAAA!” Not exactly needing an excuse to get close to Krista, Shayne gives her huge hug, which causes her remind herself to burn this particular outfit when she gets back to LA. Brave gets a little too comfortable with certain more ample features, and thus she has to push him way from the annoying hug. Before Brave can write a sappy power ballad about unrequited love, he's left to pin Moneymaker... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO To the fans disgust, Moneymaker actually manages a shoulder off the ring apron. Brave is as agitated as the spectators, and refuses to believe Moneymaker succeeded in kicking out. Regardless he stills his growing annoyance, and brings Moneymaker to his feet. The detested heel makes a weak attempt to fight off his antagonist, peppering him with several light jabs. But Showtime subdues this rebellion by nailing him with a basement dropkick! As the fans applaud his besting of their least favorite wrestler, Brave once again builds up speed on the ropes. As he approaches his enemy, he leaps onto his knee, and drives the tip of his boot into the back of his head with a shinning enziguri! The crowd is ecstatic over the usage of his signature move and offer him roaring cheers. COLE Were you saying something about Showtime Shayne being no match for Moneymaker, Coach? Care to eat some crow. Powered by adrenaline Shayne heads to his corner, and journeys towards the top rope. He actually succeeds in prying pleasured gaze away from the eye popping view of Krista's shirt popping boobs, long enough to leap off with a picture perfect elbow drop! As his one hundred eighty pounds sail through the sky like a majestic eagle, camera flashes click across the jam packed venue. Unfortunately the slower moving amateur photographers among them aren't able to capture his gentle flight. Rather they immortalize his horrific landing once Moneymaker moves out the way! COLE Oh no! The audience and Krista share similar thoughts to Cole. But unlike Krista, the announcer and the crowd, don't have to now deal with a pudgy billionaire barelling down on them with a shoulder block. She's well prepared for his attack, however, and once he nears, she smashes him with a shoulder block of her own! Doubled over, he's force clutch onto the ring ropes for support, but they can do nothing to stop Shayne from pulling him down with a surprise roll up! CROWDONE! CROWDTWO! CROWDTHREE! COLE And so close, but Moneymaker kicking out at the last...hold on. That was three! That was three! That was three! Moneymaker is done! Moneymaker is eliminated! Wow! So shocking is this event, that it even takes the Portlanders a moment to come to grips with the joyful occurrence they've just bore witness to. But once they truly comprehend what has transpired, their cheers are nearly deafening!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Theodore Moneymaker (pinfall) Eliminated by: Shayne Brave Advantage: Team Krista 2-1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Overcome with excitement for his upset of Theodore Moneymaker, Shayne pumps his fist and runs towards Krista for another hug... “Uh, a handshake is cool, thank you.” Krista warns. Stunned with chilling confusion over what poor fate he's been handed, Moneymaker lies on the canvas thinking back to all the other horrible incidents in this match. That's when he realizes he's stuck in a nightmare with no foreseeable ending. MONEYMAKER Snarling in feral rage, Moneymaker springs forward to crush an unaware Brave with the $Billion Dollar Knee Lift$! Bryant is left on the canvas, and finds himself wide open to repeated lashings from his sadistic foe. Beyond outraged by Moneymaker's assault, Krista tries to enter the ring, but is halted by Robinson, who wants to minimize the chance for further violence. On the other side of the ring, Alix yells at Moneymaker to cease his horrible behavior. But it doesn't seem that anything can stop his lunatic rampage until a gaggle of referees fill the outside area demanding he stop the attack. COLE This is out of control! What the hell is wrong with this guy? Get out the ring! Somewhat calmed by the cathartic beating, Moneymaker leaves the battleground without much protest, but with a gargantuan amount of jeers and boos from the audience. With admirable strength, Shayne forces his way to his feet. But all the courage in the world doesn't change the harrowing fact that he now has to deal with a fresh and formidable Alix Maria Spezia. Accompanied by a monstrous roar from the fans, Alix uneasily enters the ring, unsure if she even wants to lay a finger on Shayne. COLE Well, Alix was instrumental in helping D*LUX and Leon battle The Enterprise through the spring and summer, and naturally they developed a bond. But, now they find themselves as enemies. Still not convinced fighting Shayne is the proper course of action, Alix looks to Mackenzie, hopeful for agreement. But, Mackie, in soft and sweet tones, assures her that winning this match is the best possible thing she can do. While Alix may not be entirely sure this is correct, she gives into the soothing melody of Mackenzie's voice and throws herself into war with Shayne. Alix latches onto his arm, and heaves him into corner posts. The back that Moneymaker spent a full minute obliterating scrapes off the ring posts, bringing out tortured screams from Showtime. Alix isn't exactly merciful to her former friend, quickly leaping onto the second ropes to tower above Shayne. Without so much as passing him a single solitary glance, she monkeyflips him away from the corner, leading him to land horribly on his injured back. As white hot pain shoots through his body, he bellows his misery. “Alix!” Krista begins, “Stop this! Shayne is your friend also! He's more your friend then mine, I hate men.” Actively attempting to ignore Krista's appeals to her gentler side, Alix scrapes the motionless corpse off the canvas. With ice water seemingly traversing through her veins, she launches him back into the corner. The steel turnbuckles devour his flesh, reducing the bones in his back to mere brittle, and turning him into a wailing and moaning pillar of misery. If Alix feels any sympathy for the pain she's causing, its not readily apparent when her bracelet coated arm carves up his face with a running forearm. From the corner he staggers, moving with the speed of a mummy, and the glazed over look of a zombie. There's little intention for offensive in his movements, and Alix makes sure their never will be, grounding him to a halt with a leg sweep! “Come on, baby!” Mackenzie screams, beating on the canvas. Alix situates one gogo boot just above each of her opponent's knees and bends his legs up, twisting them around her's. With Shayne assured of not being able to move a muscle, Alix grips both of his wrists, while placing her free foot onto his badly mangled back. To complete her submission, The Hollywood Bad Girl pulls back on Shayne's arm, elevating his upper body and opening the floodgates to allow a typhoon of pain to pulverize his back. COLE Everybody go surfin, Surf Venice Beach! “Alix, stop!” Krista pleads with her. “Great job, honey! Great job!” Mackenzie shouts over Alix. Unable to stomach the anguish for much longer, a nearly weeping Brave groans his submission. The fans give a mammoth cheer for Alix's latest victory, but feel a little guilty about it, because damn that poor whiteboy got fucked over.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Shayne Brave Eliminated by: Alix Maria Spezia Advantage: TIED 1-1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are down to the two team captains! Coach, do you know what this means?! Portland certainly does, as the murmur of anticipation for the matchup they've been waiting all contest for reaches unheard of decibel levels. Off their seats they come, every single eyeball in the arena locked unwavering onto the colossal matchup in the center of the ring. Like eighteen thousand seperate earthquakes, surges of cheers roar across the venue. COACH All night, all night long, this what we've wanted to see. And here it is! Pick a side Cole. Team Krista or Team Alix. Members of the crowd have already chosen sides,“LET'S GO ALIX!”“LET'S GO KRISTA!”“LET'S GO ALIX!”“LET'S GO KRISTA!”“LET'S GO ALIX!”“LET'S GO KRISTA!” their chants boom with unheard of authority, tearing through the night as if they had a personal stake in the battle. Each chant hits like a gunshot into the brains of the ex-lovers, who want nothing more then to avoid such a grizzly situation. Stunned with horror, stunned with revulsion, Krista and Alix look at each other for the first time as enemies and what they see chokes them, like an invisible fist clutching their throats. Remaining strangely silent through all this is Mackenzie, her blues watching with great interest at the developments soon to unfold. COLE I don't think they can really fight each other. Their faces are swept entirely clean of every emotion except a cold, stinging dread. There's no will to move, to speak, to act, or even turn away from each other, all they can do is pray for someone to shake them awake from this all-consuming nightmare. And that's when Mackenzie acts. The beautiful business maven reaches into the ring, and latches onto Krista's high heels. Suddenly roars of anticipation from the audience, morph into shrill yells of disgust for Mackie. COLE What's she doing? Giving Krista another reason to have her killed. Krista's eyes go frigid, a feral blue, and they gleam like a predator lurking beyond the fringes of firelight. Without a thought towards anything besides this entire terrible situation being Mackenzie's fault, Krista dives out of the ring. Left face to face with a woman who's hatred burns as hot as a furnace, Mackenzie performs the only logical task she knows. She runs. And runs fast.“LET'S GO KRISTA!” Still paralyzed by the possibility of having to physically harm the former center of her universe, Alix can't quite bring herself to react to the chase scene. Robinson is far more active, and realizing that Krista is the legal woman, he begins a ten count. TEN! COLE He's counting Krista out? NINE! Black heels click off the black mats, as the woman with the black heart refuses to yield her chase of her shrieking victim. EIGHT! COLE Did Mackenzie plan this? SEVEN! Memories of time with Alix echo in her mind, granting Krista increased speed on her quest to dismantle Mackenzie limb from limb. SIX! FIVE!“LET'S GO KRISTA!” Krista manages to grab a hold of Mackenzie's dress, and though it rips away what little fabric covers generously exposed back, she isn't able to hold Mackenzie for long. FOUR! COACH She knew Alix wouldn't be willing to fight Krista, so she's going to get Krista counted out! What a sneaky bitch! THREE! Alix can only depressingly run her hands through her brown locks, stupefied at the insanity she's wrought. TWO! Mackenzie and the tattered remains of her ultra expensive dress dive into the ring. Struggling to keep the outfit from falling off, she scrambles behind her lady love for protection and to act as a makeshift dressing room. More concerned with her intended massacre of Mackie then winning the bout, Krista tries to slide into the squared circle. But she's merely a shade too late as the clock finally hits....ONE!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Krista Isadora Duncan (countout) Sole Survivor: Alix Maria Spezia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spurred on by a blazing outrage, the fans are quick and merciless in expressing their disdain for Mackenzie tactics, blasting her with boos and numerous profanities even I'm too moralistic to reprint! COLE I don't believe it! Mackenzie leading Krista around the ring right into a countout. And these fans in the arena, who had been waiting so long to see Alix and Krista hook up have been robbed. And we're left to wonder what would've happened had Mackenzie not interfered. What would they have done if left face to face with another in the middle of an OAOAST wrestling ring, in front of billions world wide? Mackenzie makes no note of the audience's impolite (to say the least) treatment of her strategies. And instead gently strokes her stunned girlfriend's hair, until the gorgeous brunette manages to meet her warm smile with soft, sorrowful nod. COACH Hahaha! Genius by Mackenzie! Genius. Krista thinks she's so smart but she's been outsmarted by the real smartest woman on television. I gotta tip my hat to Miss DeCenzo. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner and the sole survivor ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! There's a mammoth pop from the Team Alix fans, that's matched by a mammoth boo from the Team Krista fanbase. The heroine for the Team Krista set, sits on bended knee, arm draped over the guard rail, seething with an undying sadness at the sight of Mackenzie holding her Alix in her arms. Though she'd love to rip Alix away from Mackenzie, she only stares ahead with lowered eyes. COLE Well, folks we're we can only wonder where this story will take us next? Certainly Krista go quietly into the night, and with people like Moneymaker and Wright roaming around to stir the pot, I imagine fireworks are ahead. We'll see them and so much more next week on OAOAST HeldDOWN from Tacoma, WA! On that note we...FADE OUTWRITTEN BY Patty O’Green Zack Malibu King Cucaracha Ed Wood Caulfield LunarPhoenix Tony149OAOAST CREATED BY Anglesault Tony149 CWMDIRECTED BY Tony149 © 2007 OAOAST Entertainment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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