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OAOAST TMW: A comedy/erotic e-fed

Raw Is Whore 4/14/2019


Chanel #99

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As Raw Is Whore opened up we found Annagret Wickedborn in the ring with a microphone in front of her lips. She's wearing a brand new SNOWBUNNY t-shirt available for order today!


ANNAGRET
Lot of cute black guys in the arena tonight! But lots of ugly everything else. I don't do ugly. And I don't do frauds either. But what I do is give credit when it's due. I bet you were all happy watching Krista slut it up at the biker bar last show!

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA!"


ANNAGRET
I was happy too. Tons of black cock. But the so called black cock queen was all about the WHITE COCK! Tell me does that make sense? She wants to take a page out of my book and be a Snowbunny? But when five inch pale dick is shoved in her face she gobbles it right up. She'll take any ol small pink or red cock into her dusty snatch? Am I vegan if I eat venison every once in a while? No I'm not! And she's no Snowbunny or BBC queen. Hmph!

"K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!"

RENEE
The fans still behind Krista.

ALIX
And a guy is probs behind her right now too!

ANNAGRET
What a joke Krista is. You're like the fourth boss I've had in the OAOAST/TMW and you're so the worst ever. Sophie may have been French but she had conviction! Josie was a weirdo but she had standards. Krista you don't have standards, you'll suck white dick, Hindu dick, Japanese dick any dick. And to think that you call yourself a black cock queen?! Puh-LEAZE! Instead of being the gold standard, you're the old standard!

"BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

ANNAGRET
You don't even look that good any more. That dingy lighting in the biker bar couldn't hide all those wrinkles. You need to step down and step aside because the one true Snowbunny is here and looking fierce!

Ah Annagret done fucked up as Krista appears on screen with a scowl on her face.

KRISTA
You're right Annagret, you do look fierce. You make a nice opening act to get the viewers at home a little hard, give them a semi chub. So you get em nice and ready for to get fully hard and stroke those big hard dicks to mommy fucking tons and tons of hard black dick!

ANNAGRET
What?! What?! What are you trying to say, hag?

KRISTA
I'm saying you're cute, you've got a nice bj technique, black guys like ya and all....which is nice, good for you, Anna-G. But the thing is...I'm hot, I've got the god tier blowjobs and black men worship me and the ground I cum on! And that means I give the people plenty to cum over too!

ANNAGRET
Enough of this! There can only be one BBC queen. Let's settle this, bitch! You're no Snowbunny like me, you're no black cock queen. You're a fraud! And I want to prove it!

KRISTA
Good idea. Let's settle it in an Ejaculation Chamber at Anglemania XXX-8! Whoever can make the most black guys cum in the time limit gets to be crowned the queen of the bbc. You think you can handle that?

ANNAGRET
I was born to handle that.

Annagret drops the mic and has an intense staredown with Krista.

ALIX
Holy Moses Malone! What are we about to see at AngleMania XXX-8! What am I about to finger myself over tonight?!

 

ANGLEMANIA XXX-8....COMING SOON!

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***December Belle Vs IamHina W/Mitama***

The Geisha Girls both pounced on December as she entered the ring! They gave her all she could handle even as Referee Titania was ordering Mitama to leave.

RENEE
The Geisha Girls know they have to get on the winning track.

Titania wasn't going to tolerate this shit anymore and wound up shoving Mitama to the ground!

"TITANIA! TITANIA! TITANIA!"

DECEMBER
Oh cool, Titania is back. How long have you been here?

TITANIA
Uh, for three months!

Mitamia used this exchange to swat December's ankles and according to IamHina it's down ya go...

 

But her lionsault didn't have the exact impact she was looking for. In fact she sort of bounced off December's chest!

DECEMBER
I have protection

 

Hina charged December only to get swept into a standing fireman's carry! December swung Hina out, connecting Hina's ankle with Mitama's face and nailing Hina with a Wake Me Up When December Ends F-5 into a Rock Bottom for the win!

Winner: December Belle, via pinfall

RENEE
A solid win for the final OAOAST Women's Champion!

December was all set to leave when SIRENS started whirring!

DECEMBER
I didn't do it.

Actually it was just "Dystopia" which sounded out Big Papa Thrust and The Human Deep Throat Machine, Bobbi Cheesecake to the ring.


BPT
December Belle, Christmas only cums in December, but if you become my Freakazoid you will cum year round. And instead of a fat man coming down a chimney it’ll be The Big Bad Vampire Daddy coming into your chimney. Scream if you’re listening to me!

DECEMBER
I am listening but I’m more of a moaner than a screamer.

BOBBI
It’s a catchphrase, December.

DECEMBER
I’m not going through a phase I really do moan more than scream.

BOBBI
Never mind, ya silly bunny.  We were tag team champs once in the OAOAST and now we can tag team the biggest dick and arms in the galaxy!

DECEMBER
I dunno I think my brother would get mad

BPT
Screw your brother! I’m the man and I’m legit! Some people get by kissing ass, but I get by kicking ass and pounding ass, so you can tell Lawson what it is!

BOBBI
And what is it, December?

DECEMBER
I’m a Winter Freakazoid I guess.

BOBBI
The Winter Freakazoid!

DECEMBER
Do I get a special badge?

BPT
You get to wear a pearl necklace every day of the year!

DECEMBER
Hehehe fun, I like jewelry. It doesn’t have to be expensive though.

RENEE
I think some of this is going over her head.

Suddenly this song plays....

RENEE
Whoa that’s CPA! When we last saw him he was getting killed in police sting.


ALIX
And now he’s with Glass and Effie? Did they turn him into a vampire

CPA
Hey check this out Big Bad Vampire Daddy. You thought you were a bad motherfucker for rising from the grave? But hear this; when I took ten bullets thanks to Bosley being a rat I got sent way down bellow. Down to hell. But I was the most dangerous nigga in that joint. I had Satan himself begging for a break. Got to the point hell couldnt contain this man. Satan had to put me back on earth to walk with the living again.

ALIX
Can he bring back my goldfish Krista overfed?

CPA
I was given a nice bonus package to get the hell out of hell, several million dollars and a house in the Hollywood Hills. And what was I gonna buy with all this change? Power. And what does power get you? Women. A little birdie told me Glass Juliet and Effie Reese were looking to get dominated. I made the calls I needed to make and I got power over these two fine white bitches and a brand new cheerleading squad.

RENEE
A what?!

EFFIE
We’re Whoros!

GLASS
Upupupu this is peak Glass Juliet and Effie Reese! And we are gonna get aggressive on you Freakazoids at Anglemania XXX-8! Grrrooowwllll!

BOBBI
Me and Big Papa owe you so BRING IT ON!

Dystopia hits once again with the faces massaging BPT’s muscles and the heels rubbing on CPA’s chest.

ALIX
Oh my god! I want a hot black guy to be my sugar daddy.

RENEE
Who doesn’t?

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Backstage in her very zen office Krista isn't feeling the zen vibes. Why? Because she has to stand between Sammi and The Doll. The beauties have clenched fists and glaring nostrils.

KRISTA
Cant you try to get along with each other?

SAMMI
She has slandered my family and tried to have me sexually assaulted by a pair of ditzy vampires. There will be no getting along.

THE DOLL
I'm not in the mood to lower myself, Miss Duncan.

Krista rubs her temples

KRISTA
Okay, okay, okay. It's like Alix says when we're in an argument: we're either gonna fuck or we're gonna fight. So pick one. Either way we'll need some lube and baby oil for all the guys at home.

THE DOLL
I'd rather hook up with a cow!

KRISTA
Then it's a fight at Anglemania XXX-8. Have fun, kids!

SAMMI
Remember, Rena, Lionesses don't play with dolls, we kill prey.

Sammi blows The Doll a condescending kiss before heading off.

THE DOLL
I HATE her.

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The Backroom is a little crowded as Annie is nestled between Skylar, and her Skylites of Penny Mars, Karen Kathy Kelly, and Billie Child.

ANNIE
Skylar, what were your Skylites thinking when they attacked Dasha in the shower last week? Inquiring minds need to know!

KKK
But can a stupid mind like yours handle the answer????

SKYLAR
I don’t know, Annie. Honestly. But I gave them a very strong dressing down IRL and on Snap. I also tweeted #cyberbullying and #stopthehate. Because, like, I feel ultra strong about inclusion and being kind to yourself and others. That’s why I’m being kind to Dasha and giving her an Anglemania XXX-8 match like she’s wanted. But it’s going to be inclusive because I’m including two of my lites against her team of three.

ANNIE
But Dasha wanted you one on one. That's not giving her anything she wants.

KKK
Are you her mommy? Her guardian angel? Why do you care what she wants?

SKYLAR
I want to live in an inclusive society that promotes feminist unity and I can’t get that one on one with Dasha.  We girls have to stand together to fight the patriarchy.

KKK
You understand, Renee?

ANNIE
It’s Annie.

SKYLAR
Sure it is.

The Skylites nudge Annie out the way, knocking her to the ground


CAMERA MAN
Annie, are you ok?

ANNIE
I’m ok!


And now we go into the ring for...


***Donna Body & Cloudy Vs The Day of the Dead***
ALIX
Hope no one is getting paid by the hour for this one.

It seemed like the jobbers shouldn't have been paid at all as they were basically crash test dummies for Day of the Dead. They were mercifully finished off by a Doomsday Device at 2:05.

Winner: Day of the Dead

Post match Day of the Dead got on DA STICK~!

CADY
The supreme overlords of ice are coming to AngleMania!

LILLY
Nasty Boyds and Referee Nerdregard you have enacted the laws of causality and that's super bad. Bad for you but fun for us. Krista says if we win we got RFN alone for five whole minutes.

CADY
We only need two to make a gape you'll never recover from, Nerdregard!

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EARLIER TODAY...

Seated inside the plush office of Krista Isadora Duncan are the Midnight Foxes, manager Jim Cornette and a scantily-clad C02. A giddy Corny and the Foxes snack on assorted fruits while C02 burn holes thru them. Noticeably missing: the Hotties tag team championship.

Enter Krista with the tag titles, takes a seat behind her desk and sighs.

KRISTA
Welp. You got me. The titles are yours. 

Corny and the Foxes are overcome with excitement. The Foxes reach for the gold...only for Krista to slap their hands away and award the titles to CO2!

RUBY & CALEDORI
😮

MAYA & JADE
😁

CORNETTE
What kinda bullshit is this, you stupid ugly bitch! We got robbed! Twice now! And let’s not forget those sweet innocent poor orphans who relied on the Sisterhood to feed and cloth them! I hear the little angels fled to the border and surrendered to the proper authorities just so they could be caged like animals because it beats living in a derelict orphanage! Fucking cunts!

CALEDORI
Shame! 

Total BS but CO2 find Corny’s outburst entertaining and thus let him rant.

CORNETTE
As outlined in the letter sent to you by my legal team of Shyster, Huckster & Quack, the Midnight Foxes never signed to face your snot-nosed brats. Which means the Midnight Foxes are the rightful champions. Instead you went William Barr on us and issued your own decision.

KRISTA
Of course. Too long; didn’t read. 

Corny’s aghast. So are the Foxes after Maya jumps in to say...

MAYA
By the way, that “snot” on our nose is actually Ruby & Caledori’s pussy juice from after we fucked them last time out! 👅👅👅

RUBY
(gasp)
I would never let you anywhere near my precious!

MAYA
But I’ll let you near mine.

C02 high five and then butt bump Corny into Krista’s zen pond!

SPLOOSH!

The cannonball douses the Foxes who shriek like cats as C02 blow the trio kisses goodbye.

Backstage one...

vyOgyHBU7s=
ZELDA BAZIL was lazily strolling down the hallway when she was gripped in a choke hold by one....

0865d97c4b8342d56d29af364ef55881.jpg
MALAYSIA NERDLY!!!

ZELDA
Ack!

MALAYSIA
Shut your mouth, little one. You’re the reason I no longer have a step slut. It’s ALL your fault, bitch.

Suddenly a SHOE is thrown and hits Malaysia in the head! This is all thanks to..

55SSmlAfMWkAwJVhkwrUOzpnpaE.jpg
THE SOCCER MOM and her impeccable aim. TSM is wearing ass hugging yoga pants along with a green fleece.


THE SOCCER MOM
Let her go!

Malaysia does let Zelda go, shoving her off into TSM’s arms.

MALAYSIA
You’re going to pay, little one. Both you and Stacy are going to pay at Anglemania. I’ll see you with my girl Holly in a Cum Dumpster match.

TSM
A what?!

MALAYSIA
You heard me, prude. You. Heard. Me.

With that Malaysia walks off, cracking her knuckles.

Meanwhile, Zelda is more than happy to rest in TSM's arms and near her giant jugs~!

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*** Chicks Over Black Dicks (Isabella Spezia-Villaraigosa & Eponine Black) vs. Didi Bigguns & Jobette Burr ***

Repulsed by her smelly foul-mouth, beer-drinking partner, Didi declined a swig from Jobette’s flask and promptly got schooled on the mat by Eponine. Didi then took a disposable glove hidden inside her bra and tagged Jobett who took offense.

JOBETTE
What, I got cooties or somethin’? 

DIDI
No! No! You’ve got cuties! *points to JB’s tits*

Jobette cracks a smile and gives Didi a chest bump that knocks her off the apron! School girl by Isabella scored a near fall, but then she got tripped up by Didi who restrained her as Jobette took a swig of liquor and...

PATOOEY!

Except Isabella ducked and Didi’s double D’s got sprayed! 

You’d think Didi got set afire based on her reaction, which became even more comical when Jobette tried to wipe her down!

DIDI
Just get away from me!

Jobette is shoved away right into a sunset flip piledriver by Isabella!

ALIX
Burning Sensation When You Urinate!

Meanwhile, Didi turns into a world class sprinter when Adelphe comes for her ass. She’s chased thru the crowd as the 1-2-3 is counted inside.

Winners: Chicks Over Black Dicks, via pinfall. 

The roar’s so loud Isabella doesn’t hear flesh meet steel as Eponine is hurled into the ring steps by THE MIDNIGHT FOXES! The vixens then yank a celebrating Izzy off the middle rope and deliver a beatdown as their manager Jim Cornette keeps the ref cornered. 

ALIX
(groans of increasing discomfort)

RENEE 
Try to keep your composure, Alix! I know this is hard for you to watch!

Izzy’s choked by her own black belt, clearly a fashion accessory and not something earned via martial arts. Perhaps the fact she didn’t inherit her inmate daddy’s fighting skills is because her real father is a politician. 

RENEE 
The Midnight Foxes with a strong response to the ruling earlier tonight!

There’s another loud roar when Hotties tag titleholders CO2 storm the ring semi-nude for reasons one can only imagine (Jade in a OAOAST polo shirt likely grabbed on the run off a company official and Maya in a tiny top and panties). The Foxes and Corny bail pleased with a done well job. 

Maya grabs the mic, pissed. 

MAYA
Mom’s untouchable. Alix is untouchable. We’re untouchable. So you go after the one person you aren’t afraid to touch. Okay, fine. But let me tell you who won’t be fine...your 3 asses! You want the Hotties tag titles back? Then come get some of us at AngleMania. We won’t be hard to find. 

JADE
Yeah. Just look for the hotties with the gold! 

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Backstage we follow...

image.png

BREA BREA, in her extra colorful wrestling attire, on her way into Krista's office. Except when Brea enters she finds...

image.png

[b[THE DOLL[/b] sat on Krista's oak desk in low cut shimmering red top and tight white pants along a with a deep frown on her face.

THE DOLL
Who do you think you are?

BREA BREA
I just came to talk to Krista about my title defense at XXX-8.

THE DOLL
That's who you are? Good little champion going to have good little talks with the boss? Good little Brea putting herself in matches she's not booked in?

BREA BREA
Oh...that...

THE DOLL
Yes, that. You coming to Sammi's rescue. I don't know if you realized this but I'm your boss also. If Krista was to retire tomorrow you'd answer to me! But, thanks to your meddling and annoying actions I've got a great idea for a match.

BREA BREA
What is it?

THE DOLL
You and Sammi Cayley against Billie Child and Kathy Karen Kelly. With this beautiful diva as special guest referee.

Brea Brea nods to herself and stands stoic. She won't be bullied.

BREA BREA
Looking forward to it, Rena. Looking forward to it.

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Backstage we're in the hallways were Sara Jean has found herself with a jort and Spurs jersey wearing

nina-dobrev-vampire-diaries-670x405.jpg
DASHA THE RAPPA

zendaya-nov17-updated2a.jpg

Along with CARRIE OAKLEY sporting green short shorts and a cut off Raw Is Whore t-shirt.

SARA JEAN
Dasha, you laid down the challenge to face Skylar one on one at Anglemania XXX-8. But instead you and a team of two others will collide with The Skylites in Toronto.


DASHA
Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay, Dasha gonna eat Skylites like horse eat hay!

SARA JEAN
I admire the confidence a lot, Dasha. But you need two partners.

CARRIE
I'm partner number one! You can always count on Miss Carrie Oakley. That's for sure!

DASHA
Skylites carry baggage, Carrie rips them up Savage...Macho Man! Ohhhh yyyyeeeeaaaaaaaaaah!

SARA JEAN
Yep, enthusiasm is great. And who's partner number two?

Dasha points to her left. The camera pans around to see

81KUmMd3LiL._SX425_.jpg

ANNIE sitting atop an equipment box eating a bag of chips while holding an ice pack to her head.

ANNIE
Mmmmmfff?

DASHA
Annie on the teazy, it ain't gonna be easy! Big kick, huge punch, team Dasha the people's pick! Yes!

Annie is still sitting in surprise, her open mouth dribbling crumbs onto her shirt.

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There's a warning coming in
Storm coming overhead
Stop lying in your bed
There's nowhere to hide
There's lightning in the sky
Storm coming in the night
Stop running, stand and fight
Hold your head high

Traveling to the ring is How2Girl, super whore and super hero. Today she's just dressed as a super whore in a pink microskirt and plunging red top to reveal most of her tits.

RENEE
I don't have How2Girl on the schedule.

ALIX
There's a schedule? Wow, we're organized!

RENEE
Maybe you should come to the production meetings sometimes.

ALIX
Naaaaah, I'm just gonna get high instead.

HOW2GIRL
I'm not here as How2Girl, I'm just here as Hayley. And Hayley knows how to whore!

"YYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!"

HOW2GIRL
And my whore senses were tingling big time when I saw a bunch of Fluffers running around with cash. When hot women have loads of cash in their hand that tells this super whore that someone's doing a good job of super whoring!

ALIX
I learned that from my mama.

HOW2GIRL
The raw heat, the rampant horniness! We've got a brothel operating backstage and I know who runs it. Sunshine Yukino, please come on down!

Min'na saikō arigatō,
K-k-k-kawaii, k-k-k-kawaii.

Dressed in her kimono, Sunshine Yukino arrives on the scene. She wears a guarded expression and moves wearily into the ring.

SUNSHINE YUKINO
What this about?

HOW2GIRL
Sunrise! You restarted Sunrise! I know it was a tall task thanks to the feds after they shut you down. But you brought it back, and I want in.

SUNSHINE YUKINO
This trick?

HOW2GIRL
Yes! Yes let me turn tricks for you!

SUNSHINE YUKINO
You want to be Sunray.

HOW2GIRL
More than anything! Please let me whore for you!

SUNSHINE YUKINO
Okay you hired. You walk street outside Toy Box and you give me all money made.

HOW2GIRL
Okay! Wait, huh? I give you all the money? And you give me a cut?

SUNSHINE YUKINO
No cut. All go to me.

HOW2GIRL
But the Fluffers?

SUNSHINE YUKINO
They give all money to me.

How2Girl puts her hand to her chest and steps back.

HOW2GIRL
That's slavery!

How2Girl's fist tighten. The super hero persona is back!

HOW2GIRL
I can't stand for it.

DIAMOND CUTTER BY THE BIG BOSS LADY!

TOY BOX
😮

ALIX
God gawd almighty! Rachel Teresea Isabella Tonelli just diamond cuttered How2Girl! Lord have mercy!

Yukino doesn't believe what she's seen, and shrinks back in fear of The Big Boss Lady. But there's nothing to fear here; TBL RAISES Yuki's arm! And Yukii in turn gives her a hug!

"BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

ALIX
Damn them! Damn them! Damn them! With The Big Boss Lady's help and a Diamond Cutter Sunshine Yukino shines! Damn them!

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***Brea Brea and Sammi Cayley Vs Kathy Karen Kelly and Billie Child W/Penny Mars and Skylar. Special guest referee: The Doll***

Skylar got on commentary for this one, making herself front and center at Sofa Central.

SKYLAR
A bunch of hard working, intelligent boss babes! Whooo! Let's go!

KKK tried to to pysche Brea out by feigning superkicks. What ended up happening is that Brea superkicked KKK herself! Pained KKK rolled to her corner and tagged in Billie. The champ took Billie to wrestling school with amateur takedowns. She might have done more if The Doll didn't "accidentally" step on her ankle.

RENEE
Hey, what was that?

SKYLAR
Women don't have to be perfect to be awesome, Renee. The Doll is just showing you can be kind of klutzy and still be awesome.

Billie took control of the match, flinging Brea about with arm drags and hip tosses. But when she came off the top with a moonsault Brea got her knees up. Then the champ rocked Billie with a double arm DDT!

MAN IN CROWD
Brea, how big does my cock need to be to get with ypu?!

BREA BREA

 

ALIX
Whooooaaaa Brea really gets it in!

The Doll started lecturing Sammi about her ring atire being too revealing, which allowed The Skylites to come in and double team Brea.

RENEE
Too revealing? What a joke!

SKYLAR
It looks like it's also made out of non environment friendly materials. Unlike my threads.

The Doll, of course, was able to pull herself away from Sammi long enough to count KKK's pin. But much to The Doll's chagrin Brea kicked out. The champ then showed why she's the best as she started rallying against the heels. Or she did until KKK thumbed her in the eye.

THE DOLL
(half heartedly)
Don't do that.

KKK
I'm sowwwrrrry
kkk9sorry34.gif

KKK wasn't really sorry and proceeded to thumb Brea in the eye again. This got Sammi mighty pissed and she started into the ring, only to be held back by The Doll. That was the exact wrong thing to do as Sammi slugged The Doll in the face! Down Rena went and Sammi dove upon her for a wild flurry of scraping and clawing!

RENEE
The Lioness has pounced!

Penny jumped into the ring and loaded up a lariat aimed at Brea's face. But the champ ducked the attack and Penny clobbered poor Billie! Brea then tossed out both Billie and KKK!

"YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


But then we heard...


And Lady XFL appeared through the crowd. The She Wolf made her way into the ring for a staredown with Brea! Lady XFL pie faced the champ to ground, earning her a wave of boos.

ALIX
She ain't goin down that easily at AngleMania xxx-8!


And she wasn't going to down that easily tonight! Brea popped up as Sammi dropped behind Lady XFL who Brea pushes over! Worse yet for The She Wolf Brea then dropkicked her thru the ropes! Lady XFL wanted back in but security held her off.

RENEE
Welcome to Raw is Whore, Lady X!

The show ended with Sammi and Brea Brea standing tall.

 

FADE OUT

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