Chanel #99 Posted November 24, 2018 Report Share Posted November 24, 2018 The show opened with Lisa Ann in her office. She had a BIG announcement to make... LISA ANN We have a lot of talent. A lot. Sometimes there's too much of a good thing. And we've got two much of a great thing. It's time to change things up. Don't worry no one is getting fired. They're getting opportunities to be even bigger stars. You're going to see TMW like you've never seen it before. The evolution is now. Lisa Ann smiles. LISA ANN We will be making two brands of TMW action. That's right, twice the mayhem. twice the fun. Toni Patricia said "give the fans double what they want. Give them heat, give them violence and give them sex." We're on it, Toni. Our male talent will be one TMW, and our Hotties will be on Raw is Whore. This will be a TMW where stars become legends, Hotties become whores, and you'll be able to see every second of it on The TMW Network. Lisa Ann went on to introduce the new boss of Raw Is Whore... KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN Krista explained her philosophy of management which seemed to hint that she would be using her job to embezzle funds, sexually harass the Fluffers, trade favors for sex, and beg congress for corporate welfare. But she did have a special message for the fans.. KRISTA You want big tits? We got em. You want big dicks fucking big tits? We got it. You want grown women with the bodies of fifteen year old girls? We got em and we don't judge you. You want trannies gang banging Iranian midgets? We got em. LISA ANN You do!? KRISTA It's called bait and switch, baby! Lisa Ann addressed King Edward and his knights, saying they weren't going to keep running roughshod over Tristan, the heart and sole of TMW. LISA ANN From here on out there will be prices to pay for your attacks. It's time to step into the ring. Murmur, and your black knight will face Tristan and a partner of his choosing. Lisa Ann then went on to announce that with C02 vacating the tag team titles there would be a beat the clock challenge to determine the new champions! But then Lisa Ann was interrupted by REFEREE NERDREGARD and LAWSON BELLE. RFN announced that he was the real authority in TMW. RFN I'm laying down the law around here, and if you don't like that's tough titties! Tonight Blaine Cayley better be in that ring defending his Galaxy title against my man or there will be hell to pay! That's a guarantee, Lisa Ann, or my name ain't Wally Nerdregard! Which it is! ***Beat The Clock Challenge: The War Hammers Vs The Scumbag Reformation Project*** MAUL We’re here we’re here! The war hammers are here! But The Scumbags were not! They were hiding backstage with Blanchefleur yelling at them to go fight. RIZZO We ain’t fighting no Warhammers! No way! No how! ANSON Preach, Rizzo, preach! BLANCHEFLEUR You better fight or I will fine you into the poor house! EUPHORIA They're already in the poor house, toots! But then The War hammers ran backstage to fight The Scumbags! SCUMBAGS insert fear The Scumbags hauled ass out of The Toy Box. I mean all the way outside into the street! Not only that but they hopped onto a bus that went god knows where. With their blood boiling The Warhammers chasied it down! Back in the arena "Ready Or Not" hit and the entire Shell Gang arrived to the commentary table, which had Reject and Renee scattering for higher ground. Fabian announced that Slammed was a mere setback and that the tag titles would fall back to The Shell Gang and that he would be Galaxy Champion with Lawson needing to wait his turn. FABIAN Once again The Shell Gang will be forced to save TMW in the face of this brand split! Sex and Violence, I say Boredom and Malaise with Lisa Ann running the show and Blaine Cayley on top. But with The Divine shining his guiding light- SUPERKICK FROM JOSE! CROWD Fabian didn't go down, instead he held a stunned look on his face. But that look become one of pain as Pike hit him with a SMOKING GUN (gore) from there Wes hit his mushroom stomp finisher, and Alexander locked Fabian in a cross face. But it was only when Ignatius put Fabian through a table that we knew The Divine had been cursed. Then The Shell Gang took up the commentary equipment left by R&R IGNATIUS You see, Fabian, you thought you were the "leader" of The Shell Gang, or CEO of TMW, but we're all first among equals. The Shell Gang is an army, better yet a navy, and each man is a battleship. Lead us? We're about making money and winning gold. After Slammed we all saw you're not about that life. WESLEY So in closing, "BROTHER," you keep being The Divine, but the rest of The Shell Gang will keep being too sweet! The Shell Gang gave each other the Gang Gang signal over Fabian's beaten bod. The fans were stunned into silence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2018 ***Beat The Clock Challenge: The Higher Minds Vs The Young Cucks*** RENEE Gang, we're gonna to try focus on the Beat The Clock Challenge. But I mean...how can we? Fabian just got kicked out The Shell Gang. As "This is How We Do It" hit The Young Cucks emerged with their trademark dance... Insert dance RENEE The Young Cucks fellow Hyena, The Bounty Hunter lost in The Thunder Cage to Storm Bellmare at Slammed. Crackhead had interesting proposition ahead of the contest DETROIT CRACKHEAD Suck yo dick for five dollars. MONTELL AND JORDAN Ok! But The Cucks only had four fifty between them. Shameful. They still wanted that dick sucking and tried to make Crackhead suck their dick anyway! REJECT Are they raping a crackhead?! Bhodi would save his partner and clear out The Cucks. Things got back to order, but then The Cucks took over and showed incredible offense with a stacked inverted hurricanrana, a double spanish fly and lastly Keller Driver that would finish off The Higher Minds at 6:55 Winners:[/b The Young Cucks, via pinfall **** Blaine arrived to The Toy Box with sister, Sammi on his arm, showing all was well with the Cayleys. But then Sara Jean caught up with him and informed him Lawson threw down the challenge for the Galaxy title. BLAINE I was wondering after Slammed if Lawson were drunk or merely stupid. Now I see he's clearly stupid. Stupider than ReX. Stupider than Fabian. Stupider than all before him. Lawson Belle as Galaxy champion? A bad jape. But instead of blowing me smoke, after our match, he'll be blowing me kisses. The pair walked off with Sammi blowing a kiss to the camera *** Beat The Clock Challenge: The Ministers of Offense Vs Same Ol Shits*** The Ministers dominated on the outset, throwing SOS around with beautiful high impact moves such as a double dominator and stereo spinebusters! RENEE I think SOS may be SOL REJECT Having to face Ministers Of Offense once at Slammed in the tag Gauntlet and now on tv is the definition of shit out of luck. But the hated heels came back when they suckered Strika outside and clipped his ankle! This took him out, and allowed them to focus on Two IC. Their brawling offense turned the tables on the Nigerian, and hope looked lost. But then Strika returned and the heels were in big trouble! Both Shits got hit with The Processing Power (rib breaker into big boot) but The Ministers Of Offense win came fifteen seconds beyond The Young Cucks win. Winner: The Ministers of Offense. Time to beat, 6:50 by The Young Cucks REJECT If The Ministers hadn't gotten blood lust in them they might have won. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2018 After TMW came back from commercial, The Same Ol Shits had surrounded Renee! RENEE Ugh, why does this keep happening? REJECT Learn to enjoy it, Renee. HORSE There were two straws. WAKEFIELD Beating us in the gauntlet match at Slammed? Ministers that there was one straw. Beating us just now? HORSE That there was the last straw. Now it's time to drain the swap and, lord be, drain the church of the ministers! Horse and Wakfield walked off, leaving Renee and Reject with no clue as to what was meant. On hand to announce a BRAND new title coming to TMW was...THE INTRUDER, fresh off a tour of SMUSH. THE INTRUDER This is The Always Open Wide Championship, to be decided in an eight man tournament. But who better to win than the man with the Masterpiece Mouthpiece, The Intruder? The man who speaks so eloquently and in this spectacular vernacular called the game? Who better? No one. As The Intruder walked away we saw THE BOUNTY HUNTER lurking... THE BOUNTY HUNTER I can think of one guy better...NHEHEHEHEHEHE! ***Beat The Clock Challenge: Lords of Rawk W/Bobbi Cheesecake Vs Coco Chanel and Money Marc W/The Doll*** RENEE Even though the brands have been split, guys can manage Hotties and vice versa. REJECT And somehow Bobbi's ass has been getting saved by Bedrock constantly. RENEE I think it's sweet. K-Rawk used his speed to dance around Conan and Money Marc early on, but then Conan dropped him with a Midnight Fleur tiger suplex! The heels beat on K-Rawk for a bit, but then Bedrock got in and started laying the Prehistoric Smackdown! BEDROCK Ooog Booga! CONAN Stop talking. But it was Conan who got silenced off Bedrock's powerslam! REJECT I just realized this doofy bastard probably invented that move. Money Marc came and ate a double headbutt, then a double diving headbutt! "YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" But The Doll was on top of things, jumping on the ring apron and giving the boys fantasies of being on top of her! Bobbi wasn't with that shit tho, and yanked her off the ring apron! The Doll was spooked and hurried backstage with Bobbi in hot pursuit. RENEE Bobbi's got a bit of a jealous streak! Conan took advantage of all this and pitched Bedrock out the ring This allowed Money Marc to nail K-Rawk with a Death Valley Driver and give the heels the win at 6:47! Winner: Money Marc & Conan ChanelNew time to beat: 6:47 REJECT If Money Marc and Conan had been a little slower, The Young Cucks would still be looking at tag team gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2018 Backstage we saw Tristan Nystrom confronting The Union Jets and Burlington Pemborkshire about them pulling him away from his fight with King Edward, The Arabian Knight and the mysterious knight clad in black armor TRISTAN What did you think you were doing? I did not ask for your help. Nor did I want it. Burlington Pembrokshire and The Union Jets answered that they were aiding Tristan in his time of need. TRISTAN Ai, do you not realize all that have stood with me are now dead? And I am dead to the world. Tristan walked off hanging his head in sorrow. *** Beat The Clock Challenge: The Time Killers Vs Political Prisoners*** As Dark Knight Dummo hit, The Political Prisoners arrived full of vigor, swag and SAUCE~! RENEE Yes, now we're selling Political Prisoner Sauce. REJECT We all got bottles in the Bronx. RENEE I'm sure. The Political Prisoners spoke about their foes The Time Killers... MISTER STEAL YO PUSH Yo, Win, SPEAK ON IT! WIN GRIFFEY JR Political Prisoners aimin' at Time Killers head like a buffalo! You dudes is roughneck, we're cutthroat! You tough guys? That's enough jokes! Political Prisoners over bitches and well above these hoes! Chris Brown and Deloro tick tocked the night away with "Five More Hours" and The Time Killers arrived with an OCCULUS RIFT VR machines DOC Guys, we'd like to settle this with a game of us TMW VR edition. MARTY What do you say? We have these cool headsets. REJECT What shills. RENEE You're one to talk. TP poured DA SAUCE all over the occuluss rifts, destroying them!! Then they took apart the faces with a pair of ROLLING lariats! The Time Killers would come back and hit stero running dragonranas! They isolated Win, but then MSYP stole their oculus rift and further broke it to distract them. REJECT Hhahahah, eat shit nerds. MSYP would Jump Ship with a fisherman's neckbreaker on Doc, then Win Fucked Up this B Team with a diving neckbreaker. But Doc still wouldn't be put down as we crossed to 5:50. The Prisoners went for a straight jacket double suplex, but somehow their foe was able to escape. We crossed into 6:10 and the hot tag was mad to Marty! Marty was on fire, putting his foes in a world of hurt with spinning wheel kicks. RENEE 6:30! Win had the Occulus Rift and tried to blast Marty with it but hit MSYP! Win was cleared out the ring and the faces won the match at 6:40! Winners: The Time Killers, via pinfall (New time to beat, 6:40) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2018 TMW loves it's tits, but we also love our troops! That's why Lisa Ann and Blanchefleur were on hand with SERGEANT SLAUGHTER to honor Sgt.Lyle Hot and a special guest... Woah is me I'm so Whoa See me decked out from my head to my toe! JO-JO WHOA! But a beefier grizzlier Jo-Jo with a heavy beard, and a sort of hard look in his eyes. LISA ANN If you've been following our series on TMW.com you know that JoJo has been serving proudly in the United States Army Rangers! "YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAA!" LISA ANN In Afghanistan he ate, slept and fought with the bravest men and women on this planet just as Sgt.Holt did before him. His only distraction was the thought of coming back to the USA and competing in front of the greatest fans in the galaxy, The TMW Galaxy. Together with Sgt.Holt, he will form... SGT.HOLT The Rangers! SGT.SLAUGHTER And they ain't no maggots, maggots! "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!" Good cheer and patriotism abound. Though no one notices Whoa isn't smiling. In the state of the art interview set Josh Matthews spoke with Brotica, Chad Mustard and Gory Dragan about their tough loss to BLK. MUSTARD Cock Blocked by The BLK Cock and denied that sweet, sweet, sweet AI snatch. What a time not to be alive. But Gory was too busy eating THANKSGIVING MASHED POTATOES to care MATTHEWS Gory, is the Thanksgiving food that good? Or do you not care? GORY Yum! Mashed potatoes, gotta love em. Funniest thing...I do care. That's why I have a surprise for BLK if they'll grant us a rematch. A FREAKY surprise! Even Chad had no clue what to make of that. ***Beat The Clock Challenge: The Union Jets Vs Pike Pantera and Jose Cantu-Si*** We rode into the Danger Zone with Kenny Loggins and the Union Jets who were clad in pilot suits and aviator shades. RENEE The Jets were rolling as TMW tag team champions for six months when they were upset by The Nutt Saks on December 15th 2017. REJECT Now we've got our final beat the clock match with The Time Killers probably chewing their knuckles to the bone. RENEE What a story it would be for The Time Killers, from time fillers to champions in two years. "Ready Or Not" came in smooth and seductive along with a snorting Pike Pantera and a flexing and preening Jose Cantu Si. REJECT Renee, The Shell Gang added Pike Pantera at Slammed in a shocker. But what shocked the hell out of me was turning on their leader Fabian. I turned on Alfdogg, but I'm a snake. These guys were supposed to be boys. RENEE Every single one of them hit Fabian with their finisher. If Fabian wasn't a thousand year old vampire his career would be over. REJECT It might be any way. Tom Smith wanted to lock up, but Jose kept pump faking and taunting... Smith never did get his lock up, but he did get a big boot from Pike. The big man from Georgia asserted Shell Gang control right off the bat, handling both Union Jets. However, the talented world traveled duo used expert double teaming and short stints in the ring to wear down Pike. RENEE Past the three minute mark. Remember, The Time Killers at 6:40 have the time to beat. Jose finally roused himself to do shit, which was get on the microphone and say... JOSE I am the most charismatic individual in TMW! "BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!" JOSESHUT UP! But then through the crowd came FABIAN NYSTROM! He attacked Jose, which caused a DQ at 3:50 seconds! Winner: Jose Cantu-Si and Pike Pantera, NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS~! REJECT The titles are back in The Shell Gang, Renee. RENEE But Jose might be out of it! Fabian threw Jose in the ring and got ready to deliver the beats to him. But Pike saved Jose's ass with a SMOKING GUN. Then Ignatius and Wes arrived to pound away at Fabian for the second time tonight! The Union Jets were arguing with the referee when they were attacked by THE ARABIAN KNIGHT and the mysterious BLACK KNIGHT! The two men bashed away at The Union Jets, until TRISTAN NYSTROM came onto the scene with steel chair and battered them with mighty blows! RENEE There's no where to run, no where to hide when the conscience of TMW comes looking for you! Then Tristan did something wholly unexpected and battered The Shell Gang, chasing them away from his big brother! REJECT Who could have seen that coming? Not Fabian and it's not what he wanted as he sulked off in disgust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2018 We saw The Intruder and The Bounty Hunter in a spirited discussion backstage. Though they were unheard as they talked in low voices. REJECT Someone tell that idiot boom operator to get closer. But the whole scene is interrupted as DAS WRESTLING MACHINES and THE HAIRY NUTT SAKS came brawling through the area. The Nutt Saks came with the THANKSGIVING SPREAD and were eager to snatch their chains back! But again security separated the two teams! So The Nutt Saks started beating security with TURKEY LEGS! Then THE WAR HAMMERS came with the WHOLE TURKEY and started attacking The Nutt Saks and DWM so desperate were The War Hammers for a fight! This led to a huge brawl between all three teams! ***TMW Galaxy Championship: Lawson Belle Vs Blaine Cayley(c)*** RFN got right up in Sammi's gill! RFN *TWEET* *TWEET* *TWEET* Of course Sammi didn't appreciate that and shoved RFN to the ground! "YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAA!" RENEE She should have done worse! Lawson sought to take advantage of this and charged Blaine, but got back dropped for his troubles! REJECT Letting his manager run interference? Bitch move. Lawson was stomped on by Blaine for a good ten seconds. Then the tables were turned as The L Train grabbed the ankle of the champion! Blaine made the ropes, but Lawson wouldn't let go! Referee Val Venis interjected himself between the two but Lawson still wouldn't break. RENEE That needs to be a DQ. REJECT Referee's don't like to decide the outcome of a title match, Renee. When Sammi jumped on the ring apron, Lawson got angry enough to break the hold and confront her. LAWSON Shut your mouth or it's your ankle that'll be snapped! RENEE What a jerk! Blaine didn't fuck with slick talk on his sis/lover and started laying waste to Lawson. But Lawson was an MMA genius and dragged Blaine into guillotine choke! RFN *TWEET* *TWEET* *TWEET* Lost in the stupid ass tweeting was that Blaine was in the ropes. Lawson let him go, after getting threatened with a DQ. REJECT The Big Valbowski had to lay down the law at that point. Showing that he just don't give a fuck, Lawson hurled spit at Blaine! BLAINE Did your boyfriend teach you that move? Angered to the point his face was red, Lawson threw a lariat, but it got ducked and Blaine punished him with a vertebreaker! "YYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAA!" RENEE Bittersweet Romance! The move only got a two count as a grimacing Lawson pulled his shoulder up. "LET'S GO BLAINE! LET'S GO BLAINE! LET'S GO BLAINE!" Back on their feet Lawson had to endure a series of chops that backed him into the corner. Face still red with anger, he fought out with punches, and then went with clenched knee strikes. With a grunt then a shout, Blaine bucked Lawson off him. Things went from bad to worse as The Lion derailed The L Train with Cruel Intetions I! "YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAA!" Blaine kips and flips his hair back, which gets a pop from Sammi and all the girls. Unfortunately he had to deal with Referee Nerdregard in the ring! RENEE Is he crazy? RFN's cheeks puffed up and his whistle kept tweeting! He was the law around here and Blaine was damn sure gonna know about it! But Sammi disagreed with that statement, and with furrowed brow and red skin she tackled RFN to the ground! "YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!" In the confusion, Blaine was tossed with a BELLEy to BELLEY suplex! Though dazed, Blaine gritted his teeth and came back at Lawson only to get thrown with another BELLEy to BELLEY suplex! Blaine got up again, though slowly, and was thrown with a third BELLEy to BELLEY suplex! Blaine wouldn't be defeated, and stood up clutching his ribs. Again he was tossed with a BELLEy to BELLEY suplex! And once more he stood up, this time with blood coming out his mouth. RENEE (sadly) Blaine... It was the 5th BELLEy to BELLEY suplex that put a crushing an end to the reign of the king of TMW, the reign of The Lion! Winner and new TMW Galaxy Champion: Lawson Belle, via pinfall RENEE Five BELLEy to BELLEy suplexes and the jungle has been razed, Lawson Belle is your new TMW Galaxy Champion! REJECT Renee, I am sick to my stomach, The Galaxy is sick to it's stomach, but Toni Patrica has to see dollar signs because she's got The World's Most Dangerous Belle as champion. Post-match, Lawson just had to cut a promo with a beaming RFN trembling with joy as he held the mic. LAWSON I'm the middle of the pound, the bottom of the brick! The rawest of the raw! Told you what would happen! When I speak you better listen. I'm the judge and the jury, the witness and the D.A. Red light, green light, the car and the freeway! Lawson Belle is verything wrapped in one, I'm the man that you fear, when you walk late at night! I'm the noise you hear when you grab your gun! And what makes it so sick is that I've just begun verse one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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