Chanel #99 Posted October 8, 2018 Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 Inside the ring as we open the show is SAMMI CAYLEY, in a pleated skirt and ruffled yellow top. SAMMI Fabian! You need to clear this up RIGHT NOW. I did not have sex with you. I repeat, I did not have sex you. Now it's your turn. Tell the Toy Box the truth. Tell my brother the truth! So I'm just gonna say soYou can never be my heroBaby I'm just gonna say soYou can never be my (never be my)So I'm just gonna say soYou will never be my heroBaby I'm just gonna say soYou can never be my (can never be my) hero "Hero" plays its familiar anthemic sounds and out comes Fabian Nystrom, looking apologetic for perhaps the first time in one thousand years. As the lights dance off his shiny gold shirt he enters the ring with eyes heavy with sorrow. FABIAN Samantha, I am truly, deeply, madly sorry. Sammi mouthes the words "thank you." FABIAN That I didn't expose you earlier for the filthy, disgusting trashbag whore that you are! You know we had sex, over and over and over again and you know you enjoyed every nasty HOUR of it!!! "BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" RENEE What..a...a...bastard! SAMMI You are a lying, worthless fuck barely worth the minuscule piece of flesh between your legs. I only had dinner with you because you said things had gone to far between you and Blaine. That you were not trying to cause him further concussions. Now I see the truth behind it all. But tell me one more truth? How good is your vampire healing? Fabian smirks because what can Sammi do to him? Put him in the Blue Ball Special aka Testicular Claw that's what! "SAMMI! SAMMI! SAMMI!" RENEE And he deserves it too! But help arrives for Fabian as ALEXANDER THE MAGNIFICENT traps her inside the Magnificent Lock (master lock)! "BBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!" RENEE A one thousand year old vampire needed help to escape a one hundred twenty pound girl? Fabian takes a moment to recover, so apparently his healing powers don't extend to his nuts. But when he does, he faces Sammi with vitriol. FABIAN Your brother should be licking the grime off my boots for helping him see the light about what you are. If I hadn't brought your scandalous nature to his attention he'd have gladly raised your malformed retarded babies in delight! "ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!" FABIAN Now he can hold his head high that he no longer has to enter your demon snatch every night. And now he can bow down and kiss my ring at Slammed instead of having me slam him into Chris Nowitksi's concussion program! And as a parting gift for your help in all this... Fabian lays A KISS on Sammi's lips! RENEE I take it back! He's a mothefucker! REJECT The fans are horrified at they see, and pelt Fabian with trash. Which given Fabian's vanity has him scouring behind Alexander so he doesn't get soaked with grime. REJECT That was a little stiff on Fabian's part. RENEE A little stiff, huh? It was totally cheap, low and unnecessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 ***Number One Contender's Match: The Big Boss Lady Vs Brea Brea*** Uh-huh, Yeah Uh-huh, Yeah, uuh Uh-huh, Yeah, uuh Uh-huh, Yeah, uuh Uh-huh, Yeah, uuh Uh-huh, Yeah, Yeah Hear my cries Hear my call Lend me your ears See my fall See my error Know my faults Time halts See my loss Know I'm lacking Backtracking Where I met you Pistol packing Itchy finger Trigger happy Try to trap me Bad rap Wiretap me Back-stab me Break the faith Fall from grace Tell me lies Time flies Close your eyes Come With Me The Toy Box went black, aside blue and red lights rising from around the ring and casting upon the stage. The video screen also went black, but then in a neat trick, the video “peels” with laser lights to show the skyline of NYC in a riangle over the still black part of the screen. Into this bold, thrilling and dangerous looking stage steps The Big Boss Lady. Her fedora covers one of her eyes, but the other is narrowed in frightening ferocity. LILLIAN Introducing first, from Manhattan, New York, she goes by the moniker THE WHITE DIAMOND, and THE BIG BOSS LADY, RACHEL TERESA ISABELLA TONELLLIII! "BBBBBBOOOOOOOOO!" RENEE Things can get pretty crazy in TMW, matches get wild, but usually battle royals don't end with someone not participating helping to beat down and eliminate one of the final people to help another one win. REJECT Special circumstances. Princess Danger is tired of beating on Brea Brea. Brea has lost three times to Danger since 2017, and she has ZERO wins. Zero, Renee! Zero! RENEE Lisa Ann didn't think the number one contender battle royal should go down like that after Princess Danger helped The Big Boss Lady to eliminate Brea Brea and so now we've got one final match to settle who will face Danger at Slammed live from Philly! Uh-oh, running out of breath, but I Oh, I, I got stamina Uh-oh, running now, I close my eyes Well, oh, I got stamina And uh-oh, I see another mountain to climb But I, I, I got stamina Uh-oh, I need another lover, be mine Cause I, I, I got stamina Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no As Sia's "The Greatest" comes into the Toy Box, a MAMMOTH pop defeans the ear drums. Full of funky exuberance The Brea Squad of mascot animals further worked up the frenzied fans. But Brea herself, was stern and solemn for perhaps one of the first times in TMW. She nodded to herself, to her fans, and then to her mother in heaven. She was ready to roll! LILLIAN And her opponent, from Port Elizabeth, South Africa, she is...BREEEAAAA BRRRRRREEEAAAAAA! “WE THINK SHE CAN! WE THINK SHE CAN! WE THINK SHE CAN!” REJECT I know she can’t, Renee. If you fail once, if you fail twice, if you fail three times, you fail for life. The support of the crowd got Brea hyped up. She offered a knuckle lock to Boss Lady, but Boss Lady stabbed her in the stomach with a boot. Weakened, Brea was then punished with a stun gun! TBL I have worse guns than that. Brea was forced into a side headlock, and was then out wrestled in a chain style by TBL. But Brea had the crowd on her side and used them to fight on against her foe. The South African hottie then blasted TBL with punch after punch! That threw TBL for a loop, and the single mom got hit with the dreaded ten punch in the corner~! BREA Let’s go!!! “YYYYEEEAAAAAAA!” RENEE What do you say now, Reject? REJECT She can punch. Studderboxx could punch too. Was he fit to fight for the title at AngleSlam? Brea stayed fired up and tore through her foe with a pair of drop kicks. She then jumped up top, hailed her roaring fans and dropped a splash on The White Diamond. But the New Yorker’s tits were so big they absorbed all impact! REJECT That’s new. The Big Boss Lady fluffed the big boss boobs and mocked her much smaller chested Brea. Insult turned to injury as TBL forced poor Brea into an abdominal stretch. "WE THINK SHE CAN! WE THINK SHE CAN WE THINK SHE CAN!" And she did! Brea Brea upended TBL then peppered her with palm strikes. The spirited show of fight was shut down by the New Yorker who surprised her foe with a headlock lariat backbreaker! RENEE The Knock Off! REJECT Let's hope she knocked some sense into Brea and made her realize she isn't championship material. The fans held their breath as Brea was pinned, then let out a huge cheer as she kicked out just a nanosecond before the three! "SHE CAN DO IT! SHE CAN DO IT! SHE CAN DO IT!" Brea was ground into a reverse chinlock as TBL wanted to wring the life out of her! REJECT That's a boring hold, but you don't have to hit someone with a flying reverse gordbuster into a DDT to hurt them. Again Brea called upon the crowd for support, and again the crowd came through in spades! They stomped their feet and hooted and hollered, all getting Brea to her feet. Elbows got her out of TBL's hold, and there was light at the end of the tunnel. Brea smashed more punches into R.TIT's face, then started twisting her around for a Hangman's Neckbreaker! RENEE Brea's Breeze! REJECT Not yet, not yet! No not yet as The Big Boss Lady countered and sweept Brea into a standing fireman's carry before throwing her down with a sidewalk slam! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" RENEE A Shakedown. REJECT Worse than those Bronx mob bosses used to do. Not that I know anything about that... The cover.... ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! A kickout! There was little time to celebrate as the HARD ON HOES CHAMPION, PRINCESS DANGER arrived down the ring apron. But right on her tail was LISA ANN! Lisa Ann grabbed PD by the wrist to stop her approach. RENEE The Ho that Runs The Show is about to show Princess Danger who's queen. But in this case princess overruled queen as Lisa Ann was shoved to the ground by the champion! CROWD LISA ANN insert merchant PRINCESS DANGER Do..not..touch...me!!!!!!!!! That creates quite the commotion and even the official was distracted, which means he didn't see The Big Boss Lady hit the THE DIAMOND CUTTER! REJECT That was perfect! RENEE And you know one or two things about that thing. Finally the official paid attention, and got down to count the pinfall... ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! BREA KICKSOUT! RENEE The numbers don't lie, gang, that was only a two! Brea is still in this! The Big Boss Lady motioned for PD to get the title to her, but the problem was Lisa Ann was clinging on for dear life to the title. REJECT She shouldn't be involving herself in this. Sophie never did that. RENEE It's a new day and a new ho! Brea saw all this, Lisa Ann's fight, and the crowd rooting her championship quest on and came back with some FIEREY BABYFACE OFFENSE~! The Big Boss Lady was battered, and it seemed Brea was going to hit Brea's Breeze. But then The White Diamond swung out for a cutter...No! Brea reversed and shoved TBL into the ropes. This staggered The White Diamond back and she got school girled to send Brea to Slammed! Winner: Brea Brea, via pinfall RENEE She did it! She did it! REJECT Shit, look out! Princess Danger pounced on Brea and sucked her into The Pit of Misery! Even as officials and Lisa Ann plead with her to release Brea, PD refused! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 Annie is backstage in the frenzied fucking fiesta of the Backroom, and she's with the tall redneck werewolf known as TurboWolf. ANNIE Annie on the scene! TurboWolf, inquiring minds want to know how you'll approach your triple threat match at Slammed against Bi Curious George and 2XS. TURBOWOLF I ain't gonna have my first Slammed be no damn loss to 2XS and Bi Curious George. Fuck that. ANNIE You know this little thing you've got with them has been very popular in the gay community. TURBOWOLF The gay community?! ANNIE I guess that's my cue to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 ackstage in her office is Lisa Ann, tapping her nails on her oak desk, staring at a potted plant and trying to breathe calmly. Which she needs to do because she's getting an earful from...The Grumpy Brunette Fluffer! GRUMPY BRUNETTE FLUFFER That ginger started trouble with me first! LISA ANN You're willing to stand there and lie to me when I watch the show live? GRUMPY BRUNETTE FLUFFER I didn't say nothing that don't be on everyone's mind. Ol Donkey Tits- Lisa Ann raises her hand and lets out a deep sigh. LISA ANN Stop. Your next infraction will be your last infraction. Is that clear, Didi? DIDI But- Another hand raise from Lisa Ann. LISA ANN Against my good judgement I'm going to ask you to help out with the Pole Dancing Competition at Slammed. DIDI Course you are. I'm a great pole dan- LISA ANN You're a Fluffer, Didi. You Fluff. You will Fluff at Slammed. Didi doesn't even wait to be dismissed. She juts put on an epic pout and stomps out Lisa Ann's office. As Didi leaves she brushes past The Hairy Nutt Saks, who are in their wrestling gear and heading to the ring. DIDI Moobies! I am disgusted! Our view shifts back to the Toy Box, a Toy Box that goes wild as Joe Budden's "Pum It Up" hits. As the sounds do pump up the fan the Big Hairy Nutt Saks arrive flaunting their gold TESTICLES CHAIN. RENEE Oh my god. Into the ring the former tag champs arrive with microphones and testicle chains shimmering in the gold. REJECT I hear those chains cost twenty four thousand dollars. BALROG Man, ya'll saw it last week. The Das Wrestling Machine put the instrumentals, put the beats on one of our fans for chanting our name when DWM subbed in for us cause we had travel issuies. SACHS Subbing in for us? Them white boys is like subbing in Seth Curry for Steph Curry. They couldn't catch us lacking so they caught one of our people lacking. Course they couldn't catch us lacking, we the super savages. BALROG We stay strapped with the fists, my niggas. And you see these chains? We dare you to come take it off our neck. SACHS Double dare you. You ain't gotta wait until Blanchefleur's battle royal at Slammed. Come on down so we can give you a serious case of the lumps and the black and blueitis. "YYYYYYYEEEAAAAAA!" BALROG That's if you got the nuts! "Du Hast" hits immediatley, giving rise to plenty of boos from the Toy Box. Some wave American flags at the entrance But it makes no matter as the dreaded two Germans emerge from the back. Reinhardt is looking shredded and mean while White Lothar looks etheral in a green cape and a intricate flower designs on his tights. REINHARDT You give us lumps? Germans give you lumps! Send you packing back to home with bruised nuts and sacks! BALROG Test our gangsta right now, Adoplh! WHITE LOTHAR We are Das Wrestling Machines of Germany, and we accept your challenge. Because we are burdened with glorious purpose, and we will be TMW gods! "BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! The eloquence and boasting of the American born White Lothar takes many aback. But when the two Germans march in lockstep to the ring, the fans are ready for a brawl. REJECT They're finally hooking up! Clem Buzzlefoxer V runs out to call the match which is already under way with both teams brawling! RENEE They sent Clem the fifth into a war zone! Reinhardt shows incredible strengrh by pressing Sachs and launching him out the ring! The crowd is shocked, many staring at the video screen to see a replay. REINHARDT I am mighty! "YOU STILL SUCK! YOU STILL SUCK! YOU STILL SUCK!" REJECT Strength that good he could beat up all these sweathogs without any effort. Things kept getting wilder as Saks returned to the ring and the brawl resumed in even wilder ways. CLEM BUZZLEFOXER V C'mon guys lets have a real match. White Lothar said no to that and started choking out Balrog with his cape. As that was happening Reinhard hit Nutt with a steel chair to the face behind Buzzlefoxxer's face. RENEE I don't think Das Wrestling Machine has any intention of having a real match. REJECT They came to hiurt, Renee. They came with bad intentions. What was most damning of all, was that DWM stripped the faces of their chains! REJECT They took their chain! That's the biggest insult in the hip hop community. There's nothing more humliating than stealing someone's chain. RENEE And that's 48,000 dollars of gold Das Wrestling Machine has! DWM walked back up the ramp, showing off the chains to the angry audience. REJECT Damn, damn, DAMN! DWM would fit in well in the Bronx for sure. They tested the Nutt Saks gangsta and the Nutt Saks failed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 n the ring stands the beautiful Renee Young. RENEE Ladies and gentlemen please welcome...THE BOUNTY HUNTER! "BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Transvestites, more than meets the eye Transvestites, mandem in disguise The audacity. The unmitigated gall! The Bounty Hunter is really walking out with chest pumped out to this song. He enters the ring cool as can be, smiling and looking innocent as can be! RENEE How can you come out to that disrespectful song? You're making fun of Storm! THE BOUNTY HUNTER (sweetly( And??? RENEE Storm deserves better! THE BOUNTY HUNTER Awwww, you all have pretty bad taste. I suppose that's fine. One day you'll appreciate my gifts. RENEE You have gifts? THE BOUNTY HUNTER So you wanna interview me, huh? That's pretty dangerous. RENEE Don't you dare touch me! THE BOUNTY HUNTER (running hand through Renee's hair) Nehehehehhe, who's gonna stop me? I'm The Bounty Hunter! "HEY, TBH SUCKS DICK! HEY, TBH SUCKS DICK! HEY, TBH SUCKS DICK!" THE BOUNTY HUNTER Neheheheh, I don't. Do you, Renne? You certainly do have a little thing for Storm's penis. RENEE I do not! THE BOUNTY HUNTER Oh yes you do, don't you? It's pretty impressive too. I have an actual count of how many times you've said Storm is an inspiration. 2,000 times since he came through developmental. I'm a psychic too and I can see you sucking the penis clear off our lady boy's body! RENEE If you're gonna make fun of Storm then I'm cutting this interview right now! I can't afford the price I pay, and I can't even pay the rent They're coming at me every way and there's no letting upI'm frightened by the threats they makeTake me down, and they'll bury me and if I run they'llChase me back again, drag me before I make the break I can't keep holding onIn a hideaway I needed to keep me from breaking downAnd I'm under.. The interview does get a change up. That of Storm Bellmare emerging in a polo shirt and distressed jeans. He strides down the ramp, teeth gritted, eyes locked on The Bounty Hunter. THE BOUNTY HUNTER Time to play nenehehehhehe! And bam as soon as Storm enters the ring TBH stomps the ever loving shit out of him! But not hard enough as Storm gets up and starts firing right hands. "FUCK HIM UP STORM, FUCK HIM UP! FUCK HIM UP STORM, FUCK HIM UP! FUCK HIM UP STORM, FUCK HIM UP!" The Bounty Hunter's small frame is wilting under the blows, Storm has the upperhand. That is until MONTEL AND JORDAN arrive to overwhelm Storm with punches and kicks. "BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Storm is forced into a standing head scissos by Jordan while Montell heads to the top. Struggle as he might, Storm can't escape Jordan's surpassingly tough hold. And then he succumbs to a sommersaulting double piledriver known as The Keller Driver! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" The Three Hyenas aren't don yet, Montell and Jordan have Storm firmly held between them as The Bounty Hunter sizes Storm up. THE BOUNTY HUNTER Let's see what you're really packing... TBH rips down Storm's pants to expose... A PENIS!!!!! THE BOUNTY HUNTER My compliments to the surgeon. And WHAM TBH boots Storm in the nuts! Storm topples over, screaming out in agony and misery. THE BOUNTY HUNTER It's a pain I have to do these things, but TrannyMania won't run wild in these parts. We need that Saudi king money! "Transvesite" plays again as The Three Hyenas cackle. Truly an awful way to go to break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 In the parking lot we find... ANNIE Has pretty much shoved a mic in... BOBBI CHEESECAKE's face the moment she arrived to The Toy Box. ANNIE Bobbi Cheesecake, inquiring minds want to know...are you going to get raped again? BOBBI Never! I may have lost to Glass Juliet at SluttyMania, and yeah I got raped by Ray Crist, but ya all saw what I did to him in the end. Thanks to my pal Captain Bedrock I'll make heads rock if anyone comes after me! Suddenly someone does come after Bobbi! That someone is Gran Arma! The masked luchadore throws Bobbi onto the hood of her car, and tries to peel down her skirt. But Bobbi ain't with that shit and lands a stiff elbow to his jaw! This backs Gran Arma up, and Annie adds her help by smacking him with her microphone. If that weren't enough CAPTAIN BEDROCK arrives and bashes Gran Arma's head against the hood of her car no less than ten times! BOBBI I told ya, Annie, I'm making heads rock! Bobbi and Annie high five! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 Myrtle Beach South CarolinaDaytime A range rover pulls into the Myrtle Beach Walmart, standing out amdist the much less expensive cars. From the car steps... WES SINGLETON clad in a red and black SHELL GANG t-shirt and acid washed jeans. WESLEY Aiyo! The Shell Gang is for the working man above all else. We do what every man and woman wish they could and tell our bosses to stick it up their asses every week. But there's one man in this town who loves his boss. Wesley begins walking towards the store. WES A good man who adores his boss. His boss, my mother Rhonda Sue. Wesley enters a wal-mart which looks like every other Walmart. WES And this man, who loves his boss so much is my father, Simon Singleton. You have to understand, a man can lose his dignity, lose his pride, and lose his self respect... Wesley passes by the medicine section, picking up some pills for a healthy heart. WES But he can as long as he has a heart he can always crawl back to his one true love in disgrace and beg her forgiveness. Wesley enters the entertainment section where he finally finds his father, SIMON SINGLETON, busy with customers. WES Father! Simon turns around, his eyebrows raised, eyes wide, unable to say much more than... SIMON Wesley? A wicked grin creeps across the face of the one they call Wicked Wes. WES Ai, it is me. No happy hugs for your only child? Simon ignores the customers he was helping. His hands shaking in a way he's never seen before, his face flooded with sweat. SIMON We are you here? Wesley let's out a chuckle. A wicked chuckle. WES To visit you, father. Just then RHONDA SUE arrives behind her husband and one true love. Her face is trembling. And like Simon sweat forms on her brow. WESLEY The gang is all here. RHONDA SUE Wesley, you should... Rhonda Sue's words die on her lips, her eyes go downcast. She can't look at her son. WES Leave? My shirt may read Shell Gang, Ignatius may be my brother, but I am a Singleton. Simon puts Rhonda Sue behind him. He has to protect her. WESLEY But not anymore. Wesley throws Simon through a flat screen TV!!!!! RHONDA SUE Wesley! Simon falls backwards, blood spilling from a deep gash. He's knocked out, luckily unable to see his son standing over him. But Rhonda Sue can see him. The little boy who loved baseball, loved his dog, who is a grown man who loves nothing but The Shell Gang. WES It's Shell Gang 4 Lyfe! Wesley departs his crying mother, his beaten and bloodied father and the life he once treasured. All through his walking away he hums The Shell Gang theme song, "Ready or Not" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 Backstage in front of the interview set, Lawson Belle looks into the camera and spits some words! LAWSON I got some bad news for you , Reject. REJECT What's that? LAWSON We got a match against one another at Slammed, since you're so good to walk again. REJECT That's great news. LAWSON I've seen you in your Heartland Chambre of hell matches, your matches with Alfdog, with ThunderKid. Everytime you wrestle, you're busting somebodies ass with chairs, with tables, with kendo sticks. But you ain't gonna bust my ass with shit! The only thing that's gonna happen in Slamm is you're gonna get stream rolled by The L-Train! REJECT Steamrolled? I'm gonna make the Heartland Chamber of Hell matches look like WWE Ride Along! LAWSON Come back here and try it! Reject takes that to heart and slams down his headset. RENEE Hey, wait! You can't leave! But he does anyway as we see Lawson waving him on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 ***The Maddix Brothers W/Fabian Nystrom, Logan Mann, Jose Cantu-Si and Alexander The Magnificent Vs C02*** Ready or not, here I come, you can't hideGonna find you and take it slowlyReady or not, here I come, you can't hideGonna find you and make you want me There they came! I'm talking all The Shell Gang but Wesley. Yet to replace Wesley was the royal robed King Landon, sweeping and gesturing grandly to the fans. A His brother was right at his side, looking much cooler with a swaggering walk and Gang Gang hand sign. RENEE Hey, are some of them coming over here?! I'm outta here! Yes, Jose Cantu Si, Alexander and Fabian chased off poor Renee with no Reject to give them Eulogies. But before he could commentate, The Divine had to speak to the fans. FABIAN Ladies and gentlemen, C02 have finally admitted defeat. And admitted that Wes and Iggy not them are the real greatest second generation stars alive today. And they admitted we are all much prettier than them, then they got down on their knees and begged for the same taste of Divine I gave to Sammi! "BBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!" the fans hiss, some throwing objects such as beer cans and soda at The Divine. Yet even soaked, Fabian has a seated smiling a cheshire cat grin. I say hi, you say hi, we stay high You look so pretty, yeah I'm sweatin' from head to toe I'm wet through all my clothes I'm fully charged, nipples are hard Ready to go I'm sweatin' from head to toe I'm wet through all my clothes I'm fully charged, nipples are hard Ready to go But he's wrong about one thing! C02 is here to party! The sister duo stand fine ass to phat ass and point twin finger guns at the camera to lead super imposed explosions to pop up on screen! LILLIAN And their opponents, they are the granddaughters of Los Angeles...JADE ROOODDEZZZZ DUNNNCANNN, MAAYYYA DDUNNNCCCAANN BLAAANCHHAARDD...CCCCCC OOOOOOOOHHH TWWWWWOOOOOO!!!! "YYYYYEEAAAAAAAA!" DING DING DING To start the affair we had King Landon facing off against Maya. And proud to be back in the ring, and well be a king, Landon made a theatrical show of taking off his robe. MAYA K. My turn "C02! C02! C02!" JOSE That's not sexy, this is sexy! Alexander flexes~! MAYA I know Alexander ain't flexing on me with back acne. JOSE She needs to SHUT UP! King Landon fired off a series of forearms that had Maya backing into a neutral corner. He got a little too cocky, like always and paid for it with being slapped stupid! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAA!" KING LANDON They're not cheering for me?! Yes, King Landon thought he'd be cheered for. His foolishness and his arrogance let Maya wallop him with a series of knife edge chops then got him flung across the ring with a hurricanrana. Maya then showed that Everything Is Going her Way with a jumping heel kick elbow that landed right Landon's royal nose! "MAYA! MAYA! MAYA!" Landon rolled to his feet and ate a flurry of leg kicks, followed by a dragon screw leg whip. The former SWF and OAOAST world champ got tangled into a leg lock, but made the ropes. That had Referee Titania Nerdly counting to five, but instead of breaking Maya woo'ed her. MAYA Man do your knockers sparkle in that shirt! TITANIA You really, you think so? KING LANDON My leg! MAYA I know so. TITANIA Really? I don't know they seem sorta... saggy? KING LANDON My leg! MAYA Saggy? They're great, no cap. King Landon was forced to work his own way out the hold, and came up steaming mad. He met Maya with a knee strike, followed by a pair of forearms and ended it with a snapmare into a back kick! FABIAN The officiating has been atorcious, a true travesty among the many travesties Lisa Ann has forced upon The Shell Gang. When will she realize she's as obsolte as a Playsation 2 and as pretty as a mule! JOSE? Maya was whipped into the ropes and tried for another hurricanrana, only to get herself turned into a tilt a whirl backbreaker! KING LANDON Ah-ha! "BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!" The final OAOAST tag champ was taken to the Maddix corner, and a tag was made. The brothers hit Maya with King Landon going high for an enziguri and Ignatius going low with a leg sweep aka Total Elimination. After that they dapped each other up with the Gang Gang hand signal! "BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeaaaa!" FABIAN You can bet that one of C02 will turn on each other before the end of this match because the allure of The Shell Gang is too much, and as I've shown sisters ain't loyal! JOSE? Ignatius turned Maya up and over with a vertical suplex, then spun it into a second one. But when he tried to turn it into a German, Maya rolled him up for a very close two count! Still Spanish Sexy stayed on the attack, shooting Maya into the ropes and hitting her with a tilt a whirl gordbuster known as Ignition. JOSE I get those goosebumps everytime Iggy hits that move! Off the pin, Maya kicked out at 2! "CO2! CO2! CO2!" Maya would fight back against Ignatius' attacks, including smashing him with the Inhieretence (scissors) kick! "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAA!" Maya crawled to her corner and made the tag with Jade! "JADEYCAKES! JADEYCAKES! JADEYCAKES!" Jade came and walloped Ignatius with a butt bump! Then gave that tasty butt to King Landon...knocking him off the ring apron! MAYA Doritos and Hot Cheeotos do a booty good. JADE Ranch Doritos, thank you! Iggy got back into it and hit Jade with an atomic drop, but that big ol butt can't be defeated! Instead it smacked Iggy in the groin, and Spanish Sexy couldn't handle all that white ass! "PHAT ASS WHITE GIRL! PHAT ASS WHITE GIRL! PHAT ASS WHITE GIRL!" The Maddix brothers combined with a double dropkick to Jade's behind that finally put the big booty cutie on the ground! "BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!" JOSE C02 is trying to big league us. The problem is we are the big leagues, girls! Going to the upper body, the Spaniards worked over Jade's neck. Jade would fight against them, and walloped King Landon with an E!ziguri! "YYYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAA!" The tag was made to Maya...but there was a problem! Leezus Price Logan Mann was on the ring apron badgering Titania and instead of the tag being counted...well, Maya was sent back to her corner. JOSE Halleuljah, we got some decent officiating for once in our lives! Maya is FUMING, and has to get her hot body rubbed down by some sexy Playmate like Fluffers... JADE I get my neck fractured and you get fondled by Fluffers. Life isn't fair. The king was in the ring and played to the audience, which as expected went over horribly. Even his springboard DDT got boos, but Jade kicking out before the three was met with a huge pop. The King signaled for G2S, but instead of that hit with a missile dropkick from Maya! MAYA Oops, I slipped. That's less than belivable, but Jade was in a prime spot to get the tag. Unfortunately Ignatius got the tag first and cut Jade off with a leg drop. "LET'S GO JADE! LET'S GO JADE! LET'S GO JADE!" MAYA Go! Go like there's a sale on Buttermilk Eggos in aisle three! Jade did get some FIGHTING SPIRITTOOOOOO and started hitting both Maddix brothers with forearms. However, King Landon caught Jade with a superkick that left the second gen starlet out on her feet. This put her in precarious position, and she was ensared into a standing head scissors by Ignatius. Up top went King Landon, and a spiked pile driver seemed ready to doom Jade. Until King Landon decided to give a royal speech... KING LANDON To be a king, is to be a man. But to be a man is to not be a king. But to be a king is... OOOMMMPPPH! Landon was (thankfully) shut up by Jade slingshoting his baby bro into him and crotching him! JOSE Shit! Shit! Shit! With the fans rooting her on, Jade slogged it to her corner and slapped hands with Maya! MAYA Freaking finally. JADE Grrrr! To King Landon MAYA To be a king is to be a man, but to be King Landon is to be a DORK! "YYYYEEEAAAAAAA!" King Landon didn't appreciate that one and sailed at Maya with a top rope lariat! A top rope lariat that got ducked! Then the former HS soccer star smoked Landon with a Pele Kick! And had one for Iggy as well! MAYA We bootytiming it? JADE Oh yeah! There's an explosion in the arena, in more ways than one as the Duncan sisters shake their lusted after tushies to the thrill of millions around the globe! "YYYYYYEEAAAAAAAA!" DOUBLE MOONSAULT ONTO BOTH BROTHERS! "YYYYYEEEAAAAAA!" Logan got onto the ring apron, only to get a serious nose bopping from Maya! Then he got a wedgie! FABIAN I can't believe the mockery of the sport of kings that's being made! I'm going to get in the ring and- Fabian is cut off because he's ATTACKED BY BLAINE CAYLEY! "YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!" The other Shell Gang members start hammering at Blaine, which causes Maya to take action. She hurls herself through the ropes and smacks them all with a suicide dive! "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!" the fans chant as a pained Fabian rolls into the ring. Through the back comes Reject and Lawson Belle STILL BRAWLING! In the ring, Ignatius tries for his Go 2 Sleep...yet loses it as Jade escapes down the back and hits her reverse x-factor finisher! "YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" But then King Landon smokes Jade with HIS Go 2 Sleep! A terrible turn of events! Yet as he makes the pin, he's suddenly attacked by...KING EDWARD ENDICOTT! Yes, Esther's dad is coming for revenge on his daughter's former king. And get it he does, smashing Landon with a Pedigree! But then King Edward turns around to gloat and is walloped in the jaw by a buzzsaw kick from TRISTAN NYSTROM! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Tristan stands tall for once, but then backs into...his brother Fabian! The two lock eyes, lock jaws and lock intensity as we... FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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