TMW 9/20/18

[Chanel #99]

We've only just begun the show, like literally just begun and there's brawling outside between LAWSON BELLE and BLAINE CAYLEY! The L Train is coming full force but The Lion is more than fangs and is throwing hands!

RENEE
Oh my god!

REJECT
Minute one and it's zero to one hundred.

Security gets between the two grapplers which is all well and good because Blaine has found a LEAD PIPE!

BLAINE
Anything more to say about me and my sister?

LAWSON
I get plenty to say about YOU, bitch ass!

Blaine makes another charge for Lawson and is barely held back by security!

RENEE
I'm getting word right now that Lisa Ann is booking a Galaxy Title match tonight, Blaine Cayley defends against Lawson Belle!

New theme...

 

[Chanel #99]

***Pavel Zubov Vs Sgt. Lyle Holt***

Zubov was a big burly Russian with an axe to grind against America.

RENEE
We're all pulling for the war veteran and hero, Sgt. Lyle Holt.

REJECT
I'm not.

Zubov snatched the American flag out of Holt's hand and STOMPED on it!

"BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!"

RENEE
Hey! That's a vet and that's our flag!

The big Russian shoved Holt into the corner and pounded on him without relent.

"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"

Holt was Sambo Tossed to the center of the ring and then hit with a BIIIIIIG splash!

PAVEL
Russia best at every thing!

REJECT
Like all good heroes, Holt will let you down in the end.

RENEE
Count on Reject for the good cynicism.

Holt was slapped into the RUSSIAN CHINLOCK and all hope looked lost!

"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"

Holt took the support of the patriots and fought free of the chinlock. This shocked Zubov, and the big Russian was lifted and hit with a hammerlock northern lights suplex. Referee Titania Nerdly dropped down to count and got a close call but still Zubov kicked out!

REJECT
See, Renee, in TMW and in the world today, villians win.

Zubov didn't like Titania's count and threatened her with violence!

RENEE
Hey! She's a tiny referee! But she's half werewolf so you better watch out.

Despite here werewolf genes Titania was frightened. But no worries, Holt to the rescue! Sarge spun the bad guy around and started peppering him with punches. He hit him hard enough that Zubov was out on his feet. Then Sarge showed his strength by nailing him with a reverse suplex!

RENEE
Dishonorable Discharge!

And that spelled the end for Zubov and victory for America!

Winner: Sgt. Lyle Holt, via pinfall

 

UP NEXT....C02 APPRECIATION!!!!!!!!

[Chanel #99]

Inside the ring for C02 appreciation night are C02 of course, COD, Chicks Over Black Dicks, December Belle, Bobbi Cheesecake, Queen Esther, Lisa Ann, Amberlyn Duncan, Pierce Duncan, James Riggs, Ned Blanchard and our host....

RENEE
Welcome to the C02 Appreciation night!

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAA!"

LISA ANN
Maya, Jade, like I said you paved the way for this youth movement that took over the OAOAST. When Toni Patricia bought the OAOAST, she told me she HAD to have C02. And who would blame her? You've made history as the first team to win both the Women's and One and Only World Tag Team Titles. Now this is your night!

RENEE
And let's kick it off with Queen Esther! Esther, I know this has been a trying time for you, but C02 are like your god daughters. Do you have a favorite C02 moment?

QUEEN ESTHER
Why, yes, it has been difficult for me. But Maya and Jade are my family now. And we must toast to them! Father Squirrel helped me pick this moment in time. A moment when in the Ejaculation Chamber when Maya was fornicated with with great gusto!

ANGLEMANIA 3000

Damn right, Krista is sorry and nourishes Deuce's dick with hurried licking. But it's wise strategy, anything to keep herself from being suffocated and pinned down by his mammoth weight and mammoth meat. Maya is hugging onto a punching bag of all things as Carl MacDonald just repeatedly rams his thick custard launcher into her tight fuck whole.

Yes Maya is holding on for dear life! Has the dumb slut met her match? Years for taking dicks up her little fuck hole, and this land baron is the one who submits her?! The stupid cum dumpster whimpers and wails and rolls her empty head, but continues to fuck on and scream on.

MAYA
Ah god! Please, mister, please be gentle with me!

CARL
Hhahaha, no can do, little lady, I'm gonna make you cry to your daddy.

MAYA
Mister! Please! Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Mister, it hurts my teenage pussy!

Her pussy uncontrollably spasms around Carl's dick, sucking him deeper inside her greedy hole. The land baron instantly became aggressive with her cunt, raping it hard and fast, causing the poor cum toilet to leak her juices along with her tears.

MAYA
Mister, please, it's too big for you to fuck me so hard! 

CARL
Hahhhha, you'll take what I give you, dumb bitch!

ANGLEMANIA 3000

 

 

RENEE
Oh my gosh! It's even hotter the second time you see it. But it's about to get chilly because it's December's turn. December can you share your favorite C02 memory.

DECEMBER
I'm not really good at chemistry. Is that like Carbon and Oxycotin mixed together?

RENEE
Uh, no, December C02 is Maya and Jade Duncan! The tag team, the Duncans who you've know for years and years. What's your feelings on them?

DECEMBER
Ohhhhh right. Sugar and I fought them a bunch of times. I think 'cause their weren't any other teams to feed to them or something.

RENEE
Let's keep kayfabe alive and roll some footage!

SCHOOL'S OUT 2012
"Picking a fight with the wrong schoolgirl Sugar quickly scuttles away,
but runs right into Maya, who knocks her diminuitive challenger down
with a clothesline! Sugar takes a hard fall on the concrete and moans
about the rough treatment. Which gets no better, as Maya grabs Sugar by
the PIGTAILS!

SUGAR

OW! NO FAIR, NO FAIR!

Maya plants a foot in Sugar's back, pinning her to the ground. Leaving the youngster to kick and slap the ground in a rage.

COACH

Come on, she's trying to rip her hair out!

COLE

Anything goes in the schoolyard.

COACH

That's just what you got told while the cool kids kicked your ass, that ain't actually true!

Finally relenting, Maya lets Sugar get up. Except Sugar doesn't, continuing to flail around in a tantrum!

 

COACH

Uh oh.

COLE

Well, this is pretty undignified.

Maya stands back watching this spectacle, until December is forced to
step forward from the pack and try to calm her cousin down. Sugar's
screeching complaints about the hairpull continue, even as December
helps her to her feet. The elder cousin is powerless to help though as
Maya drags Sugar back into the fight and Jade makes sure December keeps
her distance. Trying to subdue the scrappy Sugar, Maya places her in a
side headlock. And then insultingly starts bonking her on the head with
hammer fists."
SCHOOL'S OUT 2012

As we return to live action the crowd is full of laughs as is everyone in the ring.

ISBELLA
Bullying is funny when it doesn't happen to me!

RENEE
Good times! And good thing Sugar isn't around.

RENEE
Bobbi, would you like to say something about C02? They're your good friends after all.

BOBBI
Superstar fuck buddies and superstar best friends! That's what they are! Where would I be without my best pal, Maya? Probably giving my Uncle James a manicure! The Duncans have everything a Slut needs! Sex appeal, Sexual Ferocity, and Sexual Appetite! If I were half the slut they were...man, I can't even imagine it!

RENEE
I sure can. Speaking of uh sluts, Amberlyn and Pierce, you're their aunt and uncle. I know you have plenty to say.

AMBERLYN
I sure do. It's been a long time since I was in front of this type of audience. And let me say, I'm offering discounts on my Private SnapChat, code TMW. That's all.

RENEE
Seriously? That's all?

AMBERLYN
Yes, of course.

PIERCE
Piercey D got something to say about his main nieces! Can you give a brother a loan, I'm sleeping in my car again.

KRISTA
Are you sleeping in your car because you're poor or because you got locked out again.

PIERCE
What's that matter?

RENEE
Soooooo...Eponine, would you like to share some awesome Duncan kids memory?

Eponine steps forward, unusually cheery.

EPONINE
Hhehehe yes I will. There was the time Jade was forced to be Ned's housekeeper.

Awkward gaze between Ned and Jade.

EPONINE
But D*LUX, realized the power of brotherhood and friendship and fought heroically to save her! Or who can forget the time Amberlyn sank her claws into Tyler, only for Tyler to realize that would he loved most...

Awkward gaze between Jade and Amberlyn.

EPONINE
Was Shayne! And Jade too maybe. And what about the time Los Conquestiadors were trying to cripple Tyler with a voodoo curse and Shayne valiantly fought them off and then gave HIS BRO A HUG! And I think Jade might have been on commentary. Perhaps?

MAYA
D*LUX does stuff while Jade stands in the background, a brilliant insight to Jade's OAOAST career before I turned 17.

RENEE
How about Hotties tag team champions, The Woke Queens?

"YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAA!"

CORNETTE (OS)
How about not?

"BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!"

Appearing on the entrance stage are The Midnight Foxes and their manager Jim Cornette. With  Jimmy getting a pec rub down from Ruby and Caeldori.

CORNETTE
I know what's going on, Lisa Ann, you're trying to make a lateral comparsion between C02 and The Woke Queens and we aren't gonna stand for it. Ned Blanchard, I was there in that court room when Krista smacked you for all that child support money, I said don't worry Ned I'll spot you the cash. And who wrote all those Christmas cards to Maya? I did, your good ol pal Uncle Corny, Maya.

MAYA
I was wondering why I was getting Christmas cards when I was Jewish.

CORNETTE
I damn near managed that girl's early childhood like I managed your career Ned, and now the legacy continues on with The Midnight Foxes. Caeldori is the next Maya Duncan Blanchard and Ruby-

Ruby hisses.

CORNETTE
Two out of three ain't bad.

LEBRENDA (OS)
Hold on, hold on, hold on!

Now to throw things totally off course comes LeBrenda James and Ladybird Jones.

LEBRENDA
Are we really doing this? A C02 appreciation? The grand daughters of Los Angeles? When we have a King and Queen of Los Angeles, LeBron the King and myself the queen! You know what I hear? I hear Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are thinking of changing their kid's name to LeBrenda. I don't know if their kid is a boy or a girl, but the name just fits.

LADYBIRD
It's a name of queens.

LEBRENDA
Our royal court extends from The Staples Center to where in LA are we?

CORNETTE
We're in Hollywood, ya idiot, or did you miss the big sign?

LEBRENDA
I sleep in the Uber. But a queen's court must travel and and Ladybird and I invite all the people
here to appreciate C02 to come on out to Philadelphia for Slammed where The Hypebeast go into beast mode and take those Hotties tag team titles.

CAELDORI
According to who? How many title shots do you need to embarrass yourselves? You should try something easier like carrying my makeup bag. It's very small because I'm a natural beauty.

LADYBIRD
?

HOW2GIRL
Citizen's Jade and Maya, if you had both The Belles and Fire & Ice wanting title shots out of you, how would you proceed?

JADE
Well, we'd give em both shots at the same time.

MAYA
The more babes in the ring the better it gets!

TORI
And there's no bigger or tougher babes than me and Hayley! Triple threat at Slammed! You guys are getting smoked like K2. You can count on it!

The heels all stare each other down, but in the end they leave peacefully.

RENEE
Maybe we can focus on C02 again. Alix and Izzzy I know you have plenty of good memories to share at about C02.

ISABELLA
Boy do we! Oh man, oh man, I remember the time we tried to make a porn parody of Sea Biscuit, and got investors and everything. But then guess what?  Jade jumped up to say "I'm not having sex with a horse!" Man, that was wild. Then we tried to do a porn parody of Air Bud, and again Jade said she's not having sex with the star.

JADE
Of course I wasn't gonna have sex with the dog! Why would I have sex with a dog but a horse?

ISABELLA
Dog's have smaller dongs. Duh.

ALIX
Actually, the best time was this, gang. Check it out. It's a story about a blond girl named Jade from Michigan, the sweet, lovable, practical joke loving partner of a foppish jewel thief who takes her for granted......when she makes her escape from a five-star hotel on the eve
 of the social event of the season!  Sure, mayhem ensued...But that Jade made a friend, too.  The ten-year-old son of a hotel manager!

RENEE
Alix, that's just the plot of Dunston Checks In.

JADE
Yes, but it was also when we went to Aruba and Alix, and locked me in the closest while she tried to steal Cardi B's jewels and a lady boy prostitute helped me out.

ISABELLA
Oh man, that sounds fun!

Jade doesn't know about that.

RENEE
Uh, Terry I know you have plenty to add.

Of course Terry does as he steps up with a smile.

TERRY
Maya, Jade, as your-

KRISTA
Okay, times up, Rooster.

TERRY
I just started!

KRISTA
I meant what I said. Instead  I'll go. When you have multipole kids there's a good chance one is going to be a fuck up. See Rob Kardashian. But in my case I've been blessed with two amazing daughters. I was a little iffy about Jade's prospects at first...

JADE
Grrrrr!

KRISTA
But she's been the kind of a daughter a mother can molest and hold her head high.

RENEE
.......

KRISTA
This is what I'd tell Megyn Kelly if she had bothered to ask, no mother steps out to rape their daughters but when they have such juicy white asses and big fake tits, how can she not?

RENEE
.........

KRISTA
But this day isn't about me. It's about my daughters, who stuffed Monsters Ink for the titles then let Monsters Ink stuff them then gave the Same Ol Shits constipation, and now are the final OAOAST Tag Team Champions of The World!

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAA!"

RENEE
And finally, Jade, Maya let's hear what you have to say to your millions of fans!

Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide
Gonna find you and take it slowly
Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide
Gonna find you and make you want me

No C02 promo here as the entire Shell Gang arrives en masse onto the stage.

FABIAN
Ten, nine, eight, seven-

BLANCHARD
Ah, save your damn count down for someone who gives a damn, son!

"YYYYYYYEEEAAAAAA!"

BLANCHARD
If you got something to say get it said or you can get your asses beat by a bunch of women, a retired Rooster, and a middle aged man!

"YYYYYEEEEAAAAAAA!"

WESLEY
Uncle Ned, I got something to say. Can I call you Uncle Ned? What makes a great superstar is if 100 people are talking he or she has something different to say? What I hear C02 saying, and what I've heard them say all my life is the same shit I've heard whores like December and Alix say!

"ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!"

BLANCHARD
Son, are you asking to get the whipping your pa never gave you?

WESLEY
I'm asking where is my dad?! I see Piercey D, I see Amberlyn, I see you, I see Riggs, I see Molly, but I don't see Simon Singleton! And I'll tell you why I don't see him. Because he couldn't get off his shift at the Wal-Mart in Myrtle Beach because they got a new shipment of Nintendo Switches to stock!

That hits close to him for Ned, but the crowd is confused.

WESLEY
Was that too inside for you people? Step outside into the light. The father who neglected me, who packed his bags to leave South Carolina and become a Beverly Hills Blond is back at Wal-Mart with my mom Rhonda Sue!

JADE
What's your problem? Why are you revealing all this?

WESLEY
See Simon ran off to play faux film director and fake James Bond all the while buttering up and leeching off your family. But in the end to make it in this business you have to be someone men wanna be and women wanna fuck, and he didn't even deserve that. But he got what he deserved, because no one wants to be late night clerk at Wal-Mart and no one wants to fuck him besides my mom!

"ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!"

Ned steps up ready to fight Wesley, but Maya steps in front of him.

MAYA
I got this. You don't give two craps about Uncle Simon. You're upset because there's a C02 appreciation night and not a Wesley and Ignatius appreciation night. But let's face it, the thing the people in TMW appreciate most about you is when you walk out the door. Together Jadeycakes and I have main evented stadiums! We've had Super Bowl tickets comped for us. You two would be hard pressed to get a chicken dinner from Chick Filet A comped for you.

JADE
Not that we'd turn down Chick Filet A.

WESLEY
And that's because we haven't had the shot you two have had! I founded The Shell Gang, hunted down superstars with a king of vampires. beaten Painbow and Tristan Nystrom, won honor and glory, bedded more girls than I could name, yet I get treated like a second hand step child!

MAYA
You make the mistake of thinking we're where we are because of our last names. But you two are where you are because of your last names, and you've never moved beyond them. Everyone has a son, or a brother, or a daughter or a sister, but not everyone has a hot sexy body!

JADE
Or big white ass! Or cutting wit!

MAYA
I don't know why you said the last one, you're about as witty as a wet sock.

JADE
Grrrr! But, everyone wants to be us and everyone wants to fuck us! And that, good sirs, is why Toni Patrica gave us a blank check to lay our John Hanock on,

MAYA
Plenty of cocks to lay our hand on.

JADE
And an unlimited food budget!

MAYA
Why did you have to mention that?

The Shell Gang isn't done! Iggy takes the mic.

IGNATIUS
Spanish Sexy in da house!

"BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOO!"
"yyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeaaaa!"

JOSE
Hold on, hold on.

"BBBBOOOOOOOOOO!"

JOSE
Shut up!

"BBBBBBOOOOOOOOO!"

JOSE
I know what it's like to be sexiest person in the building! To be the desire of every damn woman in the world, and be the envy of a whole bunch of fat hogs, and be the REAL Handsome Hustler! But I never got my shot in the Duncan led OAOAST! I had to slum it up with a fat luchadore pretending to be a sex symbol, and a literal midget. But in TMW with The Shell Gang I got my real shot to be the man!
(points to Alexander)
This man, this Magnificent man got his real shot in The Shell Gang!

Alexander FLEXES! POSES AND FLEXES! WHAT A BODY!!!

IGNATIUS
The other day I opened up Ancestry.com and I looked up the meaning of the name Duncan, and it told me it meant, liar, cheater, manipulator and fraud. And used in a sentence it's "You Son of a Duncan!" You wanna be Duncans, you be that, The Shell Gang, we'll just be too sweet!

"BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"yyyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaa!"

IGNATIUS
But wait I have someone who might know a thing or two about dealing with a Duncan, loves.

Tearing me apart with words you wouldn't say,
And suddenly tomorrow's a moment washed away.
'Cause I don't have a reason, and you don't have the time,
But we both keep on waiting for something we won't find.

The light on the horizon was brighter yesterday,
With shadows floating over, the scars begin to fade.
We said it was forever but then it slipped away,
Standing at the end of the final masquerade.

The final masquerade!
"The Final Masquerade" hits and yes it is, yes it is, YES IT FUCKING IS....KING LANDON MADDIX! Even that gets a pop, despite King Landon ending his time as a heel. Queen Esther is perturbed, however.

KING LANDON
Thank you, thank you. But is it really thank you? I was a fan favorite for give or take all of my career in the SJL, SWF, and OAOAST....

MAYA
Your long term memory is as weak as your fucking!

KING LANDON
?
You can't talk to a king that way!

IGNATIUS
Let it all out, dear brother.

KING LANDON
I was beloved by pretty much everyone who was a wrestling fan for my clean wrestling style, fair treatment of my underlings, great promos and great business acumen.

JADE
You ran the third largest promotion in North America out of business.

KING LANDON

Ignatius gives his bro a comforting pat on the back.

KING LANDON
This is what I came to say! I had a kingdom, I had a queen, and then I lost it all when I came across the Duncans! Your family stole everything from me, and now you want to steal it from my brother.

QUEEN ESTHER
How faulty your memory is, my King. Maya and Jade saved our relationship, and opened my eyes to the joy of fornication, though it wasn't till later I realized you were but a wet noodle against my cleft.

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!"

KING LANDON
?

QUEEN ESTHER
Then it was your cowardice and cruelty which chased me away! I was content to sulk in the forest with my friends, but the Duncans again showed me the light.

JADE
We should show you to the door, King Landon. But we have a better idea, don't we, Maya?

MAYA
You get good ideas. Since when?

JADE
Grrrrr! What I'm trying to say if there's so many whiners and the stage why don't we dine on you punks next week, C02 versus The Maddix Brothers.

MAYA
It's always about food, isn't it.

JADE
Not always. Just eighty five percent of the time.

KING LANDON
Challenge accepted!

Well no one knows what they've just heard! King Landon returning to the ring next week to team with Iggy? Everyone in The Toy Box is shocked.

[Chanel #99]

Entering through the rear door is a most unwelcome sight...KING EDWARD ENDICOTT and MURMUR. The camera man wants nothing to do with them but they move too quick to be avoided.

KING EDWARD
Come closer.

The camera is shaking as the videographer is nervous and afraid.

KING EDWARD
Don't be scared. My Arbian Knight  has something to tell you.

The camera shakes even harder as Murmur comes around to the camera man's side.

We hear whispering.

Then we see the camera fall on the ground, then the camera fan falls himself! Worse yet he begins having a seizure! Right on camera.

KING EDWARD
Tristan Nystrom, the heart and soul of TMW, I will make you an offer. Allow me to drive a stake through your heart and I'll not hurt another soul in TMW. Your death will have satisfied my lust for revenge for what the OAOAST did to my daughter. Persist in living, however, and more will die. What do you suppose will happen then? When the body begins dying around the heart? The body may consume the heart whole.

King Edward walks with his Arabian Knight in tow, and what we're left with is the image of a dead camera man!

 

UP NEXT...POLITICAL PRISONERS VS BROTICA!!!! NEXT!!!

[Chanel #99]

***Political Prisoners Vs Brotica****

Oh my god
(Honorable C.N.O.T.E) oh my god
Yeah, Big 14 know what the fuck goin' on

Aye, hold up
Take a moment, count my guap, count my guap
All these racks bombin' in, they bombin' in (hold up)
Aye, count my guap, count my guap
Cannot stop comin' in, comin' in
Pull up in a drop top, she drop dead
I pulled up in a drop top, she drop dead
My diamonds dancing hopscotch, they holding hands
My diamonds dancing hopscotch, they holding hands

Mister Steal Yo Push came out with a smirk and warmed himself up, while Win came with some hip hop inspired gang style signs. And Win had heat to deliver on the mic!

WIN
Brotica getting on Slammed and not the PP, we're BROTESTING! Brotica about to be Brobslete! We gonna Bronnhilate em!

The PP's jumped Brotica as the bros entered the ring to take an early advantage. It was such an advantage that Win was able to hit his eat defeat on Chad!

RENEE
Hit it On Em!

REJECT
Hit with a concussion.

But it only got two! The PP's tossed Gory out of the ring and isolated poor Chad. Win hit his trademark butt splash which was followed by a devastating diving elbow from Mister Steal Yo Push!

RENEE
Heat Seaker!

REJECT
Hitting with pinpoint precision like Synth's skyhook elbow. The classics always work.

But things got chaotic as THE SCUMBAG REFORMATION PROJECT and EUPHORIA appeared on the scene!

EUPHORIA
We want on Slammed too!

ANSON
I got child support payments. I need that percentage of the gate.

EUPHORIA
Come on, let us on the card!

Brotica wasn't gonna deal with these annyoing heels and started bashing them with chairs!

CHAD
It's all the way lit!

GORY
It's lit real hot!

But as the heels were taken care of a bigger set of heels appeared in BLK! The trio attacked Brotica from behind, causing the good guys to lose their chairs.

RENEE
Oh no! Brotica is being overwhelmed by the number's advantage.

That advantage caused both Chad and Gory to get hit with triple powerbombs. BLK stood tall in the ring, raising their fists like the NOD.

Meanwhile Euphoria got WET!

EUPHORIA
Ooooohhh I'm managing the wrong black guy!

Backstage we saw Jesse Ferguson and Amber watching with a trio of Cassidy Bots behind them. Jesse was quite pleased.

RENEE
So we'll see if Brotica can get a win over BLK and at the same time claim a Cassidy Bot for their own.

REJECT
Good luck, Brotica. These BLK guys are unstoppable.

RENEE
Don't say "BLK guys" it sounds racist.

[Chanel #99]

Backstage Blanchefleur is pouring over a magic tome when she's approached by The Masked Assassin.

TMA
I need your help.

BLANCHEFLEUR
I didn't think you needed help from anyone.

TMA
Jessica wants to pole dance on Slammed.

BLANCHEFLEUR
Great idea!

TMA
Horrible idea. I need you to stop it.

A bright smile passes over Blanchefleur's lips

BLANCHEFLEUR
Actually, I think I'll allow it. We'll have a pole dancing contest.

TMA
No.

TMA's misery is just ab-fab to BF!

BLANCHEFLEUR
Oh yes! This is long over due! I'm sure you'll tell Jessica she'll have a few other filthy whores to compete with.

TMA clinches her fists, but at least she doesn't punch BF and instead walks off.

[Chanel #99]

As TMW returns from an ad break, we find Blaine Cayley in the ring. He's got his gold belt and his air brushed wrestling pants and he's ready TO FIGHT~!

REJECT
The champ's been in the ring since we went to break. The guy has a lot to be pissed about too.

BLAINE
Toy Box, I got more fire than the holy bible!

"YYYYYYYEEEAAAAAAA!"

BLAINE
Lawson, I'll deal with you later on, but Fabian, I can deal with you right now. You say I smashed one of yours so you'll smash one of mine. I'm my own so please do come and smash me!

"BLAINE! BLAINE! BLAINE!"

Staring at the night sky
Trying not to wonder why
You never been the word to cry
Said you right to other side
You think you need to save me
Just tell me something not to wonder why
Staring at other place trying not to wonder why
Hero may play but we only get Fabian in a shiny gold shirt on the video screen with Logan Mann wearing a 500 dollar poncho.

FABIAN
Blaine, you're lucky I'm not present right now, because if I was, I'd have to sink my fangs into you and rip you apart limb from limb! I'd destroy you and your reputation in one fell swoop!

LOGAN
That's on his name as a vampire and a Nystrom!

RENEE
That's easy to say when you're on a video screen.

FABIAN
I know what Renee is saying, it's easy to talk trash when you're sitting far away from someone.

REJECT
Who knew vamps were psychic.

FABIAN
But I'm far away to protect you from me! You wouldn't want to receive the worst beating I've laid on someone after one thousand years of life in addition to the humiliating video footage I am about to reveal!

RENEE
Video footage? What's he mean? Of what?

FABIAN
Roll it, jerkys!

Footage does indeed roll, and it's of a fancy French restaurant's exterior here in Los Angeles. But what's interesting is that The Divine Fabian is holding the door open for SAMMI CAYLEY! The footage ends there and we return to a shocked Blaine and the equally stunned Toy Box.

RENEE
Oh my gosh...

LOGAN
We warned you! You smash one of ours, we smash one of yours!

RENEE
They don't mean...

FABIAN
You're lucky you weren't peering into the back seat window, because I would have enjoyed ejaculating in your sister while watching the terror and agony in your face!

"ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!"

FABIAN
You can't handle The Divine! I ruined your relationship with your sister and at Slammed I'll ruin your title reign and take The Galaxy belt for The Shell Gang!

LOGAN
And that's for life!

The screen cuts out, but Blaine is already rushing backstage.

The minute he gets there, he's stopped by SAMMI CAYLEY!

SAMMI
Blaine, I can explain!

For once Blaine doesn't want anything to do with his sister and instead storms off in search of The Divine!

SAMMI
Damn it!

 

UP NEXT...ADELPHE SAINT NERDREGARD IN ACTION! NEXT!!!

[Chanel #99]

****Adelphe Saint Nerdregard Vs Jobette Burr***

RENEE
Jobette is back from Skid Row. We found her loitering in front of a Churches Chicken and she was eager to get back in the ring.

ADELPHE
The chosen heroine arrives! And what is she called, this maiden of darkness? Adelphe Saint Nerdregard is her name!

Burr took the fight to Adelphe early, but failed to do much damage. Burr pulled off her "finisher" of a spinning superkick only for Adelphe to rise and hit Free Spirit (her flying snapmare)

GRUMPY BRUNETTE FLUFFER
Yay, good job donkey tits.

ADELPHE

RENEE
Since when do Fluffers jeer the wrestlers?

REJECT
No idea why Lisa Ann keeps that one employed.

Burr had no answer for Adelphe who finished her off with a...

ADELPHE
LUMINARY UPPERCUT!

There ya go.

Wiinner: Adelphe Saint Nerdregard, via pinfall

Post-match that darn Fluffer gave Adelphe a sarcastic round of applause.

RENEE
You're right, Reject, how does she still have a job?

[Chanel #99]

Backstage we find Josh Matthews at the state of the art interview set with Money Marc Bennett, The Doll and Conan "Coco" Chanel.

MATTHEWS
Money Marc, Coco, Blanchefleur has been forcing you two to team up for a month. After weeks of bickering you finally got on the same page to protect The Doll last week from The War Hammers.

MONEY MARC
I believe, I believe, I believe in Conan Chanel! Josh Matthews, I was weighed down by a two hundred pound albatross known as Tanner Neptune for so long I forgot what true friendship was. But, Coco showed it to me last week when he saved my girl.

THE DOLL
You are just the sweetest, Coco. I see why all the girls love you. ❤️

COCO
A person like me has the responsibility to watch over this world's beautiful creatures. Mental weaklings like The War Hammers would never understand.

Speaking of here come THE WAR HAMMERS, and their fighting mad!

MONEY MARC
?

And there go the threesome! The trio runs like the wind!

They run all the way to Conan's limo with the big men in hot pursuit!

The limo speeds off, leaving The War Hammers behind and angry. So angry they start smashing up a nearby pickup truck!

UP NEXT....BI CURIOUS GEORGE VS TURBOWOLF....NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Chanel #99]

***TurboWolf Vs Bi Curious George***
Before the match, Sara Jean caught up with TW on his way to the ring.

SARA JEAN
TurboWolf, last week you lost your match with 2xs due to interferfence from Bi Curious George. Are you caught in this bizzare love affair between the two men?

TURBOWOLF
I don't give a rats ass about who's fucking around with who I'm here to kick ass and that's what I'm gonna do.

And that's what TW did. Since Tony hasn't blessed us BCG's stats yet, I can only say the match was 80-20 in favor of TW. But then 2XS arrived to toss glitter into the eyes of BOTH MEN behind referee Val Venis' back. But TW recovered first due to his werewolf skills and put down BCG with the Dehumanizer(brainbuster)!

Winner:TW, via pinfall

RENEE
As usual I'm at a loss to explain what happened. What did 2XS' get out of attacking both guys?

REJECT
Renee, 2XS is a mystery, Renee. Don't know where he came from, don't even know what the fuck he's doing here. But, damn does he have some hot valets

RENEE
Lucky us!

[Chanel #99]

A black screen.

And then....

GLASS JULIET

and....

EFFIE REESE

GLASS JULIET
Upupupupu!

EFFIE
Fun! Fun!

GLASS JULIET
I know what everyone's thinking. What's a couple of obsolete  old vampires doing on your televisual device? I can't believe you'd rather watch our shoddy little sisters than the sexy big sises!

EFFIE
Our shoddy lil sisters are all the other girls. Except for one, who reeeaaaalllllly caught our cute widdle eyes. Waaaaaah she's a dime piece!

GLASS JULIET
Bobbi Cheesecake we choose you!

EFFIE
Give me an R! Give me an A! Give me a P! Give me an E!

GLASS JULIET
Rape Bobbi! And we'll give ya fifty thousand bucks! And that's American, not Zimbabwean.

EFFIE
But, I exchanged all that currency for nothing? ?

UP NEXT...STORM BELLMARE VS MONTELL OF THE THREE HYENAS!!! NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Chanel #99]

I can't afford the price I pay, and I can't even pay the rent

They're coming at me every way and there's no letting up
I'm frightened by the threats they make
Take me down, and they'll bury me and if I run they'll
Chase me back again, drag me before I make the break

 

I can't keep holding on
In a hideaway I needed to keep me from breaking down
And I'm under..

"As One In a Million" hit we got a treat with blue pyro exploding on the stage right behind former HARD champion, Storm Bellmare. The hooded Berkley native was accompanied by the cutest duo in TMW, Chicks Over Black Dicks!

LILLIAN
The following is a singles match! Now making his way to the ring, being accompanied by ISABELLA SPEZIA-VILLAGAROSA, and EPONINE BLACK, he hails from Berkley, California, he is STORM BELLLMMMAAARREEEE!

"YYYYYEEEAAAAAAA!"

RENEE
Storm is an inspiration for us all. A trans gendered male overcoming discrimination to be a top superstar in TMW.

THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!

Hitting next is "This Is How We Do It" and The Young Cucks showed how they do it with their trademark dance..

 

LILLIAN
And his opponent, being accompanied by his brother JORDAN, he is from Apple ValleyCalifornia...MONTY BADA$$...MONTELLLLLLLLLLL!

"BBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!"

REJECT
Did you ever want to see The Thundercage return? Well now you can because Storm has put himself in one against The Bounty Hunter.

RENEE
It's been a summer long feud, but it all falls into place this fall on Slammed. Bam, nailed the shilling!

Montell went off the top right away with a double jump lariat! As Storm recovered, the high flying Californian then took to the skies with a double jump shooting star press!

RENEE
And we're just in the first minute.

REJECT
The first thirty seconds.

Back to the top when the Hyena, only this time Storm crotched him! As Montell hollered in pain, the Berkley native gathered himself then showed his own high flying with a springboard hurricanrana!

RENEE
Storm knows how it's done!

Montel ate a series of lariats, then got himself pitched onto the apron. He was able to block Storm's suplex effort, and nailed Storm with a slingshot DDT!

RENEE
Pay to Play!

REJECT
It's move like that that gets you paid.

Up top went the Hyena and descended upon Storm with another shooting star press. He then waved Storm up and rocked him with a spinning wheel kick! On the outside Jordan shouted..

JORDAN
THIS IS HOW...

MONTELL
WE DO IT!

"YOU GUYS SUCK DICK! YOU GUYS SUCK DICK! YOU GUYS SUCK DICK!"

EPONINE
Oh oh oh, we can only hope they do! Maybe each others...hehehehehhe

ISABELLA
Eeep, you're talking out loud again!

Storm was dropkicked outside and Montell then fell upon on him with a flipping plancha! Then Montell tried to romance Izzy...

MONTEL TO ISABELLA

I heard you like cute boys..

ISABELLA
Wrong, I only like cute girls! Like Eponine!

And Izzy starts groping Eponine...

 

"YYYYYYEEEAAAAA!"

Storm threw Montell back in the ring and hit him with a series of lariats and high heel kicks. Jordan tried to pull his brother out of the ring, but Storm smoked him with a suicide dive! Montel got just as much pain as Storm returned to the ring with a top rope tornado ddt!

RENEE
Shipbreaker leaves Montell broken!

Indeed he was and Storm's End ( leg trap sunset flip piledriver) left him defeated!

Winner: Storm Bellmare, via pinfall

RENEE
What a win for Storm, beating one of the Three Hyenas as he heads into the Thunder Cage against The Bounty Hunter at Slammed!

REJECT
The Thunder Cage is a different animal. And the only animal I know between the two of them is a Hyena.

[Chanel #99]

RENEE
A very troubling incident happened this week at a house show in Phoenix, Arizona. The Hairy Nutt Saks were scheduled to take on the the tag team champs, Shell Gang, but had a travel issue. Instead Das Wrestling Machine took their spot and this happened.

HOUSE SHOW, PHOENIX, AZ

As Das Wrestling Machine entered the , they heard this chant...

"WE WANT NUTT SAKS! WE WANT NUTT SAKS! WE WANT NUTT SAKS!"

The DWM were infuriated. The fans chanting for their simmering rivals? Awful!

It was too much for Reignhardt to bear. The German native dove out the ring to find the fan he felt was chanting the loudest. He found him alright. Found him and punched him! The fan toppled to the ground, bleeding from the nose!

Security had to stop him from beating any more fans
END FOOTAGE

REJECT
I've wanted to put my hands on a few of these marks, but I never did it. You can't attack the fans...as much as they deserve it...

RENEE
Hey!

REJECT
You know they deserve a good beating once in a while. Don't front.

[Chanel #99]

Already in the ring is Hard On Hoes champ, Princess Danger, looking mean in her mask and leather jacket, not to mention the title she's held since January.

PRINCESS DANGER
Pwease...welcome...numbah...one...contender...BIG...BOSS...LADY!

Uh-huh, Yeah
Uh-huh, Yeah, uuh
Uh-huh, Yeah, uuh
Uh-huh, Yeah, uuh
Uh-huh, Yeah, uuh
Uh-huh, Yeah, Yeah

Hear my cries
Hear my call
Lend me your ears
See my fall
See my error
Know my faults
Time halts
See my loss
Know I'm lacking
Backtracking
Where I met you
Pistol packing
Itchy finger
Trigger happy
Try to trap me
Bad rap
Wiretap me
Back-stab me
Break the faith
Fall from grace
Tell me lies
Time flies
Close your eyes
Come With Me

The Toy Box goes dark with  pillars of blue and red lights rising around the ring all the way up to the ceiling. Even the video screen is black, until it “peels” with laser lights to show the skyline of NYC in a triangle over the still black part of the screen. Then red laser lights peel down to reveal small red reds cloud right behind the lady known as The Big Boss Lady! As red laser lights shine from the stage, this busty figure points a finger gun at the camera and walks forward in the darkness, a cool optical trick

REJECT
Last week we saw justice! No more Brea Brea in hard on Hoes Title matches, thanks to The Big Boss Lady and Princess Danger coming together to save us all.

RENEE
Save us all? Speak for yourself and not the TMW Galaxy.

In the ring, TBL accepts the microphone from PD and a HANDSHAKE~!

THE BIG BOSS LADY
There's been some unflattering rumors circulating about me. They say...Con artist. Thief. Criminal. I've heard them all. After I speak you'll know the truth about me. First and foremost I'm a business woman. The left would have you believe business is bad. The right would have you believe business is everything. But, I'm saying family is everything, and everything is business.

The Big Boss Lady turns an intent stare to the camera.

THE BIG BOSS LADY
I was regular Manhattan wife two years ago around this time. Enjoying fancy parties, complaining about my maid to my friends at chic restaurants, married to a big shot finance executive. I was something in the style of the American Dream. The new American Dream. But, what I didn't realize is that achieving the American Dream isn't the end of the book. There's another page. Another chapter. A chapter where the dream ends.

Princess Danger isn't exactly listening, but ah who cares.

THE BIG BOSS LADY
My big shot husband got caught for embezzling money for the mob. After that the dream was dead. He was convicted. A felon. A jailbird. And my life was about to hit a rocky road. Don't cry for me. Cry for my kids. The only life they've ever known was threatened. But I'm a mom, and all the way down to the simplest animal, moms will protect their own. And I protect mine. I fight for mine. The line wouldn't be drawn through my kids lives. They'd have everything they'd ever want. So I hopped out my abandoned marriage bed and I got into...the trash removal business.

RENEE
Huh? Who's she feeling?

THE BIG BOSS LADY
Business was good. My kids never felt the sting of losing my husband's income, because I was there removing trash from the streets of NYC. Then one day, I was eating at a restaurant in Soho when the OAOAST was in town, and a certain guy calling himself The Rooster asked if I wanted to audition to be on TV. I saw money. Big money. I had to grab it. The Rooster linked me up with a guy calling himself The Body, and  a contract was signed and The Big Boss Lady was born. The company thought they were getting a blank slate to work with. A woman to be just another MILF. But I'm a business woman. I want to be THE MILF, and I want the money that comes with it. If Brea Brea has to be pushed aside for my money and my kids, then tough luck, Brea, you have another twenty years of earning power.

"BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!"

THE BIG BOSS LADY
Don't boo me you dare boo me because I'm not a bad woman. I'm not a good woman. I'm a business woman.

"BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!"

Uh-oh, running out of breath, but I
Oh, I, I got stamina
Uh-oh, running now, I close my eyes
Well, oh, I got stamina
And uh-oh, I see another mountain to climb
But I, I, I got stamina
Uh-oh, I need another lover, be mine
Cause I, I, I got stamina

 

Don't give up, I won't give up
Don't give up, no no no
Don't give up, I won't give up
Don't give up, no no no

"The Greatest" by Sia hits next, and the fans jeers immediatley switch to boos. Out comes the loveable Brea Brea, and she's dressed to wrassle!

BREA BREA
Big Boss Lady, I hear your talk about being a mom and I honestly respect how much you care for your kids. My mom died when I was a very little girl.

"AWWWWWWWWW!"

BREA BREA

But I do remember her always trying to be a woman I could be proud to call my mom. And I was. And I still am! So, my question to you, Rachel Teresa Isabella Tonelli, is are you a woman your kids can be proud to call their mom? Are you?

THE BIG BOSS LADY
Pride doesn't pay the bills, little girl. Get a few years in life and you might realize that.

"Back In Black" fires up to a huge pop from The Toy Box. From the back comes the Ho that Runs The Show, who takes position next to Brea Brea. Princess Danger clenches her fist, a sign of her unhappiness Lisa Ann is around.

LISA ANN
Well, I know I need champions I can be proud of, and after what I saw last week Princess Danger I can't be proud of you. And Big Boss Lady, I can't let things end the way they did. You won the battle royal, and I won't overturn that ruling. But what I will do is this...next week, a number one contenders match between Brea Brea and The Big Boss Lady.

Brea is giddy!

Princess Danger's fists just tighten, tighten enough her nails draw blood!

THE BIG BOSS LADY
You're making a big mistake.

LISA ANN
We'll see about that.

THE BIG BOSS LADY
Yes we will.

The Greatest plays again as Brea Brea and the crowd chant...

"WE THINK SHE CAN! WE THINK SHE CAN! WE THINK SHE CAN!"

[Chanel #99]

Backstage in the Backroom perv extraordinare, Terry Taylor is with Referee Wally Nerdregard and his new ladies...

BRIT BOYD

and...

NIKKI BOYD

THE NASTY BOYDS!

TERRY
Terry Taylor here with the very beautiful, very deadly Nasty Boyds and Referee Wally Nerdregard. What a treat for you Wally to be saved by The Nasty Boyds last week and what a treat for me to be near The Boyds!

BRIT
I find it disgusting. You sicken me, inmate.

NIKKI
Yeah! You're a disgusting pervert, inmate! And you should be punished!

TERRY
Yes, please!

REFEREE NERDREGARD
Day of the Dead I told you that you could never beat me! I'm Referee Wally Nerdregard and I'm the law around this promotion not you! And now I've got the real baddest women in TMW watching my back so there's no way in hell you're gonna kick my ass! Cady, Lilly, you're finished in TMW!

BRIT
I invite you both to come to test his claim.

NIKKI
Come and test and get your pretty little asses violated by The Nasty Boyds, inmate! We're the supreme overlords of anal, Cady of Grimm! You're a poser and a fraud just like your father, Sadist!

TERRY

Woah now! You don't want heat with The Sadist.

BRIT
Be quiet, inmate.

NIKKI
Yeah! No one asked you, so shut up before we bend you over and break you!

TERRY
Is that a promise?

Unable to win against Terry's perviness, The Nasties and RFN walk off.

UP NEXT....GALAXY TITLE MATCH....BLAINE CAYLEY DEFENDS AGAINST THE L TRAIN...LAWSON BELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~!

[Chanel #99]

(Yeahhh!!!!!!!)

(Go!!!!!!)

(Yeahhhh!!!!!)

(Go, go, go!!!!!)

 

Bring up the dead

It's time to get WICKED~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A circle of blue lights surrounded the entry way as Bear Grillz' Wicked blasted through The Toy Box. Many a boo was heard and Reject even turned his back upon the entry way.

RENEE
Lots of anger for this man, and a lot of it's coming from this announce desk.

As the circle of blue lights lifted out came Lawson Belle, putting himself in DA ZONE ahead of his first ever title match!

LILLIAN
The following is a TMW GALAXY TITLE MATCH! Now making his way to the ring, the challenger, he hails from Knoxville, Tennessesse  THE L-TRAIN, LAWWWWSSOOONNN BELLLEEEEE!

"BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

RENEE
We heard Lawson take a jab at Blaine last week, we saw them brawl to start the show and now we've got a title match between the two!

Years go, limit some once fast
Swallowing the past
Making something last

I've seen you at your lowest of low
Watching your demons grow
Struggle you won't show

Maybe I got plans for you
And you take care of me
My blood brother, fight for me

"Blood Brother" hit to a massive pop from the jam packed Toy Box. But only one Cayley was on arrival, this being Blaine, who bounced from side to side before throwing his title down and heading to the ring. Heading with BLAINETENSITY~!

LILLIAN
And his opponent, from New York City via Beaumaris Castle, Wales, he is the reigning and defending TMW GALAXY CHAMPION..."THHHEEE LIIOOOONNNN" BLLLLAAAIIINNNEE CAAAYYYLLLEEEEYYYYY

"YYYYYEEEEAAAAAA!"

Refereeing this contest was...

RIKISHI

And the second Big Kish rung the bell the fists went a flying!

RENEE
There's something about sisters in TMW...

Lawson got Blaine in the clinch and started kneeing the life out of him!

RENEE
Oh man, that MMA experience of Lawson coming into play.

Not for long as Blaine overwhelmed Lawson and drug him down into the start of a Liontamer!

REJECT
Make him tap!

But Lawson shrugged Blaine and off and got back up to hit a series of leg kicks. Blaine was backed into the corner, but Lawson showed no relent. Instead he threw a flurry of knees!

REJECT
Kish is gonna have to back this guy off.

That Rikishi did but Lawson came right back, only to eat a superkick! The blow kept Lawson on his feet but left him loopy enough for Blaine to hit a wild running lariat!

"YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAA!"

RENEE
Cruel Intentions I!

Off the ropes Blaine came with a Lionsault to a big pop from The Toy Box! But Lawson kicked out before the three!

RENEE
Whew! How can Blaine even focus after what Fabian insinuated.

REJECT
He has to focus somehow if he wants to remain champion. I don't like Lawson Belle, but if Blaine isn't on his A game, Lawson will catch him and beat him quick.

It looked like Reject had a point as Lawson caught hold of Blaine's leg. An ankle lock was on the horizon, but Blaine turned it into an enziguri! He followed that up with another lionsault that hit right on the mark! Rather than stay and be pinned Lawson rolled to the outside.

"LET'S GO LION! LET'S GO LION! LET'S GO LION!"

The roar of the crowd had The Lion roaring as she slung himself through the ropes for a suicide dive!

RENEE
I've never seen a Lion fly like that!

Both men were hurt, but brought themselves upright to continue to fight for the gold. Lawson got the upperhand as he slung Blaine into the guardrail, hurting the champion. Then all hell broke loose as Lawson slugged Reject in the jaw!

"BBBBBOOOOOOOOO!"

RENEE
Hey! What was that for!

If Lawson thought Reject was just the limping wounded, he was wrong as Reject attacked Lawson with his ankle boot!

"REJECT! REJECT! REJECT!"

Showing only mild signs of injury, Reject began brawling with Lawson!

RENEE
Oh my gosh! My partner is taking it to Lawson Belle here in The Toy Box in Los Angeles, California!

Blaine wasn't out the woods yet as the entire SHELL GANG arrived and threw him into the ring!

RENEE
Now what?!

The Gang stomped away at Blaine as the fans jeered them lustily. The Toy Box was even more upset to see Ignatius take Blaine onto his shoulders.

RENEE
Not a Go 2 Sleep!

But who should arrive to help The Lion but C02, the last ever OAOAST World Tag Team Champions! The Duncan kids walloped The Shell Gang with their belts and sent them scurrying just as Lawson entered the ring and got a Eulogy from Reject!

"YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAA!"

RENEE
As Alix would say, "My gawd, what have we seen here tonight in The Boy Box?!"

As the faces stood tall and proud we...

FADE OUT