Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLYPRESENTED IN HD As our theme song pumps its funked out stylings through television sets across the globe, the dazzling introductory video is displayed, now featuring the recently returned Sandman, and newly crowned US Champion Colombian Heat. The logo dissolves revealing for us the world famous OAOAST set that I will actually describe tonight! Protruding from above and behind the Angletron is a thin video screen that circles all the way back towards the backstage area, and is highlighted by a neon white and black film strip pattern border. It rests atop a black ceiling that dances soft blue, purple and white spotlights across a slick black entrance floor, which is actually made up of numerous video screens. Beneath the ceiling are two walls that house two sets of video screens, each mirroring what's seen on the Angletron and each shrouded by the glow from roving purple lights. The entrance door sits at the base of the Angletron, leading to short set of long illuminated black stairs. At each side of the entrance set, are a pair of spiraling staircases, decorated by the trademark purple and blue spotlights, and both leading to scaffolding. Our announce team stands in front of the ring, recipients of the only light in an otherwise dimly lit arena. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, OAOAST HeldDOWN is on the air, and myself and The Coach are ready to call all the action that has made the OAOAST the most watched sports entertainment program in the world! COACH Hold up right there, Mikey. The Coach, and the Coach alone has made this the most watched sports entertainment program in the world. Don't you forget that. COLE Too late. Regardless, tonight's show will be as excellent as always, we have ten man tag team action, as well as The Heavenly Rockers versus The All American Boys. All this of course leading to our huge Halloween Spectacular on October thirty first! Folks, we'll be back with the start of our OAOAST action in just a few seconds.COMMERCIAL BREAK The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where Stephen Joseph Popick is staring at "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd boos, although there's a few cheers mixed in there. Both Popick and PRL are in their business attires, and both men look unhappy. Popick is sitting on a table, while PRL is sitting on the big leather sofa. He has his head down. Popick takes a deep breath. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Three years...three years. P.R., how long have we had this alliance? "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN ...Three...years. POPICK Right. Right. And, uh, how many OAOAST World Heavyweight Title Matches have you had during that time? PRL Uh...um...I don't know...five...six? POPICK SEVEN, P.R. SEVEN World Title Matches! And tell me, Puerto, how many World Titles have you won in that timeframe? PRL ...Um...Zero. POPICK THAT'S RIGHT ZERO! Since May 23, 2004, you have competed for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title on SEVEN SEPERATE OCCASIONS, and you've LOST EACH AND EVERY TIME! EACH AND EVERY TIME! EACH. AND. EVE-RY. TIME. PRL So? So, what's your point? POPICK What's my point? What's my point!? God, P.R., I'VE got a World Title reign in that timeframe! Drek Stone defended the belt less than 5 times, and yet he's the longest reigning World Heavyweight Champion in OAOAST history! And despite facing Landon "La Cucarcaha" Maddix on two STRAIGHT pay-per-views, you STILL WEREN'T ABLE TO GET THE BELT OFF OF HIM! God, is it even worth it anymore!? Am I just wasting my time? Have I've just been wasting my time these past three years!? I mean, what's the point of even trying anymore!? You're just gonna choke the next time! PRL takes a deep breath. He is trying to calm himself down. PRL I've screwed up in the past. I admit it. It won't happen again. At November Reign, I WILL win the World Title! POPICK You damn well better! And you better thank your lucky stars that AngleSault gave you another Title shot, because since you used up your Golden Contract, and BLEW IT AGAIN MAY I REMIND YOU, I wouldn't be able to help you get another shot. AngleSault's back in this company, and he's not doing anyone any personal favours like some of the guys in the past. So, just be glad AngleSault still sees you as a World Title contender...because I'm starting to not think you are one. At this, PRL turns his head to Popick. THA PUERTO RICAN What did you say? POPICK I said, I'm starting to doubt you're as great as you *think* you are! I picked you as MY CORPORATE Champion because I saw something special in you, P! I saw the future of the OAOAST in your eyes! I saw a chance to leave a legacy, leave my mark in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! I thought you'd be Champion by October 2004. It is now October 2007, and what do we have to show for it? PRL A few different Title reigns. POPICK Yes, but none of them was the BIG ONE! Become X-Division Champion. Become a HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion. Carry around the Title you brought into the OAOAST again! Have the longest 24/7 Title reign in OAOAST history! Do all of that! But none of that matters unless your name is on the nameplate of the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! I want to see your name near mine on the belt plates one day. But is that day ever gonna come? Or are we gonna be spending the next three years chasing a dream that's just out of reach? PRL Stephen, I have failed you in the past. But I will not fail you no more. At November Reign, I WILL defeat Zack Malibu. I WILL defeat Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. I WILL defeat "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez. And I WILL bring to you the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. I promise you this. I will not fail you EVER AGAIN. POPICK You better, P.R. You better. Because if you don't. If you fail again...if you CHOKE in your EIGHTH WORLD TITLE SHOT...then...then...then I guess my time trying to mold you into something special was all for naught. I guess it was all for nothing. And I don't want that. You doing bad makes ME look bad, and I DON'T WANT TO LOOK BAD! You win the World Title at November Reign...or consider our alliance...consider our partnership...consider our FRIENDSHIP OVER! Popick gets up, walks up to the door, opens the door and leaves, slamming the door shut. POPICK THINK ABOUT WHAT I JUST SAID, PUERTO! Popick walks away. PRL hangs his head down in shame. He puts his hands over his face. He takes a deep breath and sighs. The crowd boos loudly. This is our last image before we fade to black. FADE OUT*COMMERCIALS* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 After we return from break, our image is that of the backstage interview lounge, outfitted with a variety of games such as pool and air hockey, and who's walls are lined with videoscreens that show various sporting events from around the country. In the middle of this area are 4 time OAOAST tag team champions Chicks Over Dicks. Alix wears a pair of maroon Abercrombie fleece pants with a white screen print logo running down the side, and of course the matching maroon fleece. GOTTA COORDINATE! Krista sports a tight tank top that reads WAGE LOVE SPREAD PEACE, and a pair of vintage wash jeans. As there isn't an interviewer around, the champs are left to talk amongst themselves. KRISTA Honey, how come we only go to gay bars? ALIX Uh, I dunno, could it be because we're both...uh...like crazy fluent in dyke? KRISTA Why are we only going to gay male bars? They hate women, and we hate men. What's the point of us even trying to get along?! Its like dental dams, a good idea, but nobody does it. Why can't we ever go out somewhere fun, and calm, where no one in their right mind would ever be caught dead at? Like a hockey game. ALIX Uh-uh, no way, translate espanol, no way jose! Last time I went to see the Kings play, I lost my arm in a road house rumble to Luc Robatille! KRISTA What? You have both your arms! ALIX Oh, really, Lilly, Then how come I just got a disability check in the mail? KRISTA That was an issue of Rolling Stone! ALIX I think I would know if I lost my leg. KRISTA You just said it was your arm! Have you been eating peyote again? ALIX Shut your mouth, flying dragon. And quit breathing fire at me! Before Krista can char Alix to a crisp, the absentee interviewer, Terry Taylor, makes his way onto the scene. TAYLOR Girls, girls! Mind if I get a word with you? KRISTA Ugh, Terry Taylor. ALIX I knew I smelled urine from somewhere! TAYLOR I took a shower Girls, two weeks ago at Zero Hour you made another successful title defense of your tag team gold, this time upending the last ever HI-YAH tag team champions, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. But, the victory didn't come without controversy, as Krista was able to win the match by snipping at Lucius Soul's fro forcing him into submission. Krista, that fro is Soul's source of strength and his greatest pride, don't you feel a little bad for what you've done? KRISTA Terry Taylor despite being the most perfect angel to ever descend from the heavens, even I, Krista Isadora Duncan, have my moments of sadness. For instance I feel bad that I flew Ned to Washington DC during that whole sniper scare and made him stand outside gas stations wearing a bullseye on his chest. I feel bad that I watched Are You Smarter Then a Fifth Grader for more then six minutes, I have two masters degrees from Standford damn right I'm smarter then the misogynisitc homophobes of tomorrow, and the unmitigated assholes who put them on television. I also have the deepest regrets that I actually paid eight dollars and fifty cents to see any Michael Douglas movie not named Traffic. ALIX And she feels hella bad that she stole King Neptune's crown right off the top of his head, framed Mister Krabs for the crime, nearly got the king to go Mortal Kombat Sub Zero style on him, stole the Krabby Patty secret forumla, brainwashed the entire town of Bikini Bottom with mind controlling bucket helmets to eat at the Chum Bucket, and build supersize monuments to her! KRI Sweetie, how many times must I tell you that was Plankton! ALIX Nice try, Plankton! But you can't fool me! For Mister Krabs! Alix begins clawing at Plankton's(?!) head in an effort to rip his Krista costume off. Unfortunately Plankton is a cartoon character, and three inches tall. Krista is real, and five feet and ten inches, making the costume somewhat improbable. That doesn't stop Alix, though! What does stop her is Krista shoving her away. KRISTA If this is some kind of new aggressive foreplay you've come up with, you and the Nicole Kidman issue of Vanity Fair will be getting very friendly with one another the next couple of days. And Terry, finally I'm very sorry I entered your mother into the Westerminster Dog Show. But if weren't for that damn piano playing basset hound we would've taken the whole thing! But I'll tell you this, that rendition of No More Drama brought me to tears, Terry! Tears! ALIX And the doctor said another botox injection would dry her tear ducts out. Psh! KRISTA But if you're asking me if I feel bad for butchering a haircut that needs to join British Bulldog, Curt Hennig, Eddie Guerroro, and Christian Wright, in the pro-wres detox clinic in the sky.... TAYLOR Christian Wright isn't dead! KRISTA Yet. The hitman I hired wanted to stop at Popeyes for a bucket of chicken. Love that chicken from Popeyes! Anyway, my answer to your question begins with an N and ends with a O. ALIX Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me, 'cause I totally got this one. Starts with N and ends with an O. Oh, Krista you sly minx, you. What a brain teaser you've come up with, but there's no fooling me, after all I do own two associate degrees from DeShaniqua's school of Cosmetology and Taxidermy. I believe the word you're looking for is irregardless. KRISTA That's not even a word, dummy! ALIX Woah ho-ho! Why so snarky sparky? No need get all chalant on me. KRISTA That's not a word either, you idiot! ALIX Look, it's your Batmitzvah, sweetiecakes, I'm just lighting the Torah. We can stand around and make up words like chalant, and irregardless, and..uh....speckensubbenossenfrafboppenjobbinmoof all day long, or we can sneak into the janitor's closet and I will go down on you harder and faster then a dairy cattle at feeding time. And before you say that's not appealing, know that the dairy cattle consumes more food then any other farm animal! KRISTA Well, this is one cow girl who's going to have trouble keeping her calves together! TAYLOR Wait, girls, before you go to uh....consummate your love that dare not speak its name, let's keep talking about The Wrecking Crew for a little bit. Now, many OAOAST observers, myself included, were completely delighted with the way in which you beat The Wrecking Crew at Zero Hour. But from an objective competition standpoint, wrestling websites around the globe were buzzing over whether it was a fair victory or not. Will you give The Wrecking Crew the rematch they've petitioned for? ALIX Terry you're such a cockblock. Or in our case a tongue block! Dude, just 'cause we once dumped a couple thousand pounds of manueur into Simon Singleton's convertible at three AM in the morning, and just because we told airport security Synth Esizer was carrying ten thousands dollars worth of Colombian pure bewteen his buttcheeks doesn't mean we're bad to the bone! TAYLOR It just means you find non-consent M2M assplay to be pretty gosh darn hot! Well, that makes three of us! KRISTA & ALIX TMI, TERRY! KRISTA Really, it doesn't mean we're mean people. We're fair girls, we're the giving type. And we realize that without a tag title shot, without a feud with the most popular team in OAOAST history, although that's not saying much considering past champions have been a man who talks to a fish and Prince Albert, a guy named after a piercing of the urethra. Anyway, without us The Wrecking Crew have about as much a chance as staying relevant as Garry Glitter has of ever being allowed to chill with the cast of High School Musical. So, we're gonna offer the Crew another heat killing burial rematch, at Halloween Spectacular in Dayton Florida! TAYLOR ZOMG! ALIX I know, right! Like, we wanted to do something really spectacular for the match, but the Florida state athletic commission kinda frowns upon dismemberment, chainsaws, human sacrifice and it turns out Keith Moon of The Who has been dead for thirty years. But go figure they do approve of zombies, mummies, witches, vampires, warlocks and Kirstin Dunst, so we're gonna get down at the third ever Run For The Gold 3: Haunted House edition! TAYLOR Double ZOMG! The first two Run For The Golds were legendary, star making events! KRISTA Such a star making bout that only three people from the first two matches are still in the OAOAST! And thanks to Zack Malibu, as of last week, one of them will be sitting down to pee for the rest of his adult life. And Alix if you say that's Leon Rodez, I'll forever question what exactly the “suspect” in Usual Suspects truly means. TAYLOR Anymore words for Rico and Soul before we head to break? KRISTA Like Deanna Troi from Star Trek, with blond hair and an even tighter outfit, if you can imagine that, I can read your mind, Crew, and what a story your thoughts can tell. You can think you can easily waltz right in and out of a little rinky dink cheesy Haunted House and get your gold. As Hall and Oates would sing, I can't go for that. Because to get out the house, you have to go through me. And when you come near me I get like daylight savings time, I spring forward, you fall backwards. You see this ten thousand dollar diamond ring? Do you know what it means? ALIX That you cover up fatal personality flaws with overpriced clothing and accessories in order to mask the insecure and frightened woman you really are? KRISTA I really really hope you like that Nicole Kidman issue of Vanity Fair. What it means is that when I knock the Wrecking Crew six ways from Sunday, I will leave its imprint on their forehead for the rest of their hopefully very short life. Every time you get the misfortune of looking in the mirror you'll be reminded of Krista Isadora Duncan and her ten thousand dollar punch. Not a pleasant thought. When your on your way to the street corner to see how much Moneymaker's sister's is whoring herself for tonight, someone'll look at your head, and say “How'd you get that?” “Ya know Krista Isadora Duncan?” “Is she the one who's fitness videos allegedly contain subliminal messages that tell you to send letter bombs to the white house?” “Yes! “What about her? “Oh she just clocked me face and reduced me to the bawling mess of bitchmade suckiness I truly am.” You're entire lives will be lived in shame. A pair of physical kings like you, beat by a high heel, short skirt wearing girl. People will get all hushed tones on you when you walk by "Hey, that's the dude that got beat up by Denise Austin." "No, man, I think it was Jane Fonda" "What a pussy, let's go pour motor oil down his pants." Forget a three month tag title reign, all you're coming to get is one punch to the face, and lifetime of humiliation. TAYLOR Girls, thank you as always. It's been a pleasure! For the OAOAST, I am Terry Taylor, reminding you to tune into Halloween Spectacular for the third ever Run For The Gold.COMMERCIALCOMING UP NEXTTHE HEAVENLY ROCKERS IN ACTIONNEXT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this! Super highways, coast to coast, easy to get anywhere On the transcontinental overload, just slide behind the wheel How does it feel The late James Brown's "Living in America" blares in the background as the ALL-AMERICAN BOYS march to the ring waving Old Glory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, one fall with 10 minute time limit. Introducing first, from the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave...FREEDOM and LIBERTY…the All-American Boys! “USA!” “USA!” “USA!”HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! BUFFER And their opponents, led down the aisle by HOLLY-WOOD…COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time, THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Well, fans, a week has past since Los Diablos de Fuego issued a challenge to the Heavenly Rockers. A challenge the Heavenly Rockers dismissed one week ago on the program, Coach. COACH The fact of the matter is, Los Diablos aren’t in their league, Cole. Not only are the Heavenly Rockers talented musicians, they’re also former tag team champions of the world. What can you say about Los Diablos other than their biggest claim to fame is being Mexican and gay? * DINGDINGDING * Synth and Liberty exit as the bell sounds, leaving Freedom and Logan as the legal men. Freedom extends his hand to Mann, who surprisingly accepts it…and then nails the promoter of freedom and liberty throughout the world with a WICKED LEFT HOOK~! COLE Logan Mann has no respect for anyone. How mighty this man of once great character has fallen in recent months. Logan quickly hooks the head and spikes Freedom into the canvas! COACH Percussion DDT! Enter Liberty to breakup the cover, but Synth gets to him first, using Logan as a springboard to level the masked patriot with a forearm smash. ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners… THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! The match is over but the carnage is not, as Colonel Abdullah instructs Synth and Logan to punish the All-American Boys some more.WAHAHAHAHA, WAH, WAH, WAH... “YEAH!” SYNTH/LOGAN COLE Hey! COACH It can’t be. The Heavenly Rockers prepare for unwelcome guests, but when no one arrives they go back to business, setting up the All-American Boys for another round of Percussion…that is until LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO burst onto the scene. The crowd erupts as the flaming luchadors take it to Synth and Logan, knocking them outside with stereo dropkicks. Ready to go for a second round, Abdullah and Holly are forced to restrain the Heavenly Rockers as OAOAST officials get in between the warring factions. COLE Oh, I think Los Diablos have the Heavenly Rockers attention now. At this time, let’s go to Tony Schiavone in the OAOAST newsroom. Viewers are mesmerized by the flashy cutting edge graphics that open the segment.How you feeling? (Hot hot hot) How you feeling? (Hot hot hot) (Hot hot hot)(Hot hot hot) (Hot hot hot)(Hot hot hot)...HOT NEWZ~! SCHIAVONE Columbus, Georgia, brace yourself. HeldDOWN~! comes to you LIVE next week. The event is sold out, but you can still catch all the action from the comfort of your home right here on TSM. One of the exciting bouts already signed will feature one half of The Love Doctors, Steven Pigley, and Los Diablos de Fuego, Moracca, teaming up against Logan Mann of the Heavenly Rockers and the Beverly Hills Blonds’ Simon Singleton. How those former rivals will fare as a team is anyone’s guess. But this past weekend on OAOAST Pro Wrestling my broadcast colleague Jesse “The Body” Ventura caught up with Ned Blanchard and a new and improved Simon Singleton.Courtesy: OAOAST SyndicatedJesse, the Blonds and Molly stand atop the interview stage inside the arena. VENTURA Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton, I gotta tell you guys, what a remarkable performance you put on last Thursday night in your match against The Love Doctors. NED It was truly a team effort, Jesse, but there’s a scene that stands out above the rest. Late in the match the Docs got desperate… SIMON Real desperate. NED …and began resorting to cheap tactics. First attempted rape at Zero Hour, then aggravated assault on HeldDOWN~! Thankfully, Molly attended the self-defense course that is mandatory for all Enterprise employees and was able to fight off her attacker. SIMON While there’s no “I” in team, there is one in Simon Singleton. 2 really, but my point still stands. And I know I speak on behalf of Ned when I say our points are standing right now just standing next to Molly. MOLLY NED Look at the camera, man. They’re shooting from the waist up. All the pixilation in the world couldn’t blur it out. SIMON With her act of bravery last Thursday night, Molly earned her spot on the team. Her days as an intern are long over. NED Though she’ll continue to be paid the same wages. SIMON Molly’s moved on up to first assistant director where she’ll continue to study under the hottest director in the business today…”Box Office” Simon Singleton, or BOSS for short. VENTURA ”Box Office” Simon Singleton? That’s got a nice ring to it. Back to you, Schiavone. SCHIAVONE Thank you very much, Jesse. With this piece of Hot Newz, I’m Tony Schiavone. The hard hitting wrestling of the OAOAST returns after this time out.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you By...The new four hundred page autobiography by Logan Mann."An unabashed look at a friend to few, and an enemy to many" Maxim"The rawest rock n roll story ever put to paper" USA Today"A harrowing portrait of life lived without regard for death or consequences" New York Times"The story of a man who turned his anger into cash and fame, but could never turn his cash and fame into inner peace" -Entertainment Weekly Backstage we go where Anglesault is walking down the hallway, yammering away on his cellphone. ANGLESAULT Hey, listen, Detective Bosley, that's no problem none at all. You're absolutely right you deserve to be in the Run For The Gold match. Even though you're a Mets fan, I completely agree with you. You beat the Wrecking Crew, and if they're being deemed number one contenders, you certainly have a case that you should be getting a title bout before them. I'll tell you what I'm going to do, let's make this a threeway Run For The Gold, you, The Wrecking Crew, and Chicks Over Dicks. That sound good? Thought so. And, hey Detective, you can't get into the Haunted House without a costume, so make sure ya find something nice. Sault shuts his phone, but before he can retreat to his office he's interrupted by a young man. A handsome fellow, with a lean cut figure, he appears as though he could be a member of the OAOAST roster. KID Hey, uh, Mister Anglesault, sir! ANGLESAULT Yeah? KID Firstly, let me offer you my condolences on a heartbreaking Yankees' playoff loss. I..I..I was born in Seattle, and when you passed my Mariners in the wildcard race, I was thrilled, boss. Thrilled! Because I knew a uh, a superior baseball team from a superior city, with superior fans, deserved to go to the playoffs. Not us, not us, infidel mongrel Mariners fans. For you to lose to a cesspool town like Cleveland, a city without the rich history of excellence like New York, that just sucked. But, next year, after you've ditched Mussina and the tubby bastard Clemens, you're gonna crush the entire American league especially, especially, the Red Sux, I can feel it in my bones! ANGLESAULT (skeptically) What do you think about A-Rod? KID The sooner A-Fraud takes a hike the better! ANGLESAULT Good, good, now that you're on my good side tell me what you want from me, kid. KID My name is uh Camden Westcott sir, born in Seattle, raised in Maui, huge fan of yours, lifetime fan, even though I'm twenty and you've only been in wrestling for five years, it feels like a lifetime. A lifetime of awesomeness. Fantastic awesomeness, sir! ANGLESAULT And you want what from me? CAMDEN Well, a job if at all possible. ANGLESAULT What type of job are we getting at, little man? CAMDEN A OAOAST superstar, naturally. I've been on the OAOWV roster for about three years. And I'm not here to toot my horn, but those three years were the stuff legends are made out of. And I don't want to just limit myself to performing in front of small crowds in the state that OAOVW is located in, I want to share my athletic gifts with these great OAOAST fans. What do you say, sir? Camden Westcott, newest OAOAST Superstar. Maybe I can even get myself a cute little valet, plenty of Nerdly girls to go around, undoubtedly. ANGLESAULT Take it easy, cowboy. Actually I was just reading over your progress report that Tony Brannigan sent me. Camden's calm demeanor suddenly heads south. But he quickly composes himself to return his previous upbeat persona. CAMDEN Yeah, that Tony Brannigan, respects the business, and the business respects him back. I just hope when my career is over I can be remembered in the same light as he. ANGLESAULT Yes, right, let's see if you'll be so flattering after I tell you what he had to say about you. Off the top of my head, he said the title progress report is a misnomer, Westcott has regressed in every aspect of pro wrestling since he came here, his promos are for shit, his wrestling is sloppy and half assed, he can't even execute an Irish whip without tripping over shoelaces that he isn't even smart enough to learn how to tie. The only thing that has improved is his tan and his ability to kiss ass. Sound right to you? The color has all but left Camden's face, as he scrambles for an explanation. CAMDEN Tony and I, we uh..uh..have these little jokes. He calls me a crappy disgrace to the industry, says I need to retire and I'll never amount to anything in this business, and its all jokes. All jokes, sir. ANGLESAULT Right. Okay, kid, how about you head back to OAOVW, get your head in the game then come back. CAMDEN But, but, sir. Matches aren't won on scouting reports! They're won in the ring, with heart, grit, and raw determination. All things I'm chock full of, believe you me. Sir, please, please, give me a chance to prove myself in the ring. ANGLESAULT This is a roster overflowing with wrestlers! Everyday I'm hounded by journalist asking me why I don't do a brand extension, why I don't cut some of the guys I never use. I have former tag team champions who haven't been seen on television in nearly three months. Why should I do anything for a kid who apparently shows no desire to take the OAOAST seriously? There's a long silence as Camden struggles to come up with a reason to not be sent back to his low paying developmental gig. CAMDEN To grant a sixty five year old cancer patient his dying wish, to see his only son compete in a pro wrestling ring. Anglesault's tough stance against rookie seems to soften with that heartwrenching news, and we can almost see a tear well up in his eye. ANGLESAULT Oh, I'm sorry. I..I...didn't know. I'm sorry. Um, okay. You're right. You're absolutely right. I can make arrangements for you to have a match very soon. I'll get right on it My deepest sympathies go out to your father. Sault pats a softly crying Camden on the shoulder and walks off. As he disappears from view a smile slips onto Camden's face. COLE Well, another team has been added to Run For The Gold 3, Rescue 911! Their first title opportunity here in the OAOAST, they've come a long way in just a couple of weeks. And how about that Camden Westcott? How touching. How honest, and raw, and emotional that was. Wanting to wrestle just once for your dying father? Such a great, great young man. We need more talents like him. COACH Look, Cole, someone wrote gullible on the ceiling! COLE Where? I don't see anything? Huh? Where is it?COMMERCIALCOMING UP NEXTTEN TIMES THE ACTION. TEN TIMES THE BLOOD.Alfdogg, "After Hours" Felix Strutter, Reject & Team Heyross vs Sandman9000, Thunderkid, Brock Ausstin, Denzel Spencer & JumboNEXT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 COLE Folks, we're set for ten-man tag team action here on HeldDOWN~! Let's go to Michael Buffer!Sweet Home Chicago hits, and Jumbo dances through the curtains. COLE And here comes the big man! BUFFERThe following is a ten-man tag team contest, scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, a member of Team #1! Hailing from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 440 pounds...JUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Jumbo high fives fans on his way down the aisle, then climbs into the ring, and raises his hands in the air, drawing cheers. Shine by Collective Soul hits, and Team Heyross makes their way through the curtains. COLE Some new music for Team Heyross, as they make their way down the aisle! BUFFERRepresenting Team #2, at a total combined weight of 480 pounds...first, from Minneapolis, Minnesota...CHHHHHHHHHHHHARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Moss slides in, as the crowd boos. BUFFERHis partner, hailing from Seattle, Washington...QUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUENTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNJAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Collectively, they are known as TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! The crowd boos, as Benjamin climbs onto the apron, then stands on the second rope outside and poses, while looking into the main camera. Benjamin then hops into the ring and high-fives Moss, as Master Blaster (Jammin') plays, and Denzel Spencer gets a nice ovation for his entrance. BUFFERRepresenting Team #1, hailing from Montego Bay, Jamaica, and weighing in at 227 pounds...DENNNNNNNNNNNZEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Spencer slaps the fans' hands, then slides in and poses on the buckles.Je t'adore, Je t'adore... The lights go out, and a pink light fills the entryway, as Felix Strutter walks through the curtains. COLE And the former Heartland champion out to the ring for this star-studded ten-man tag! BUFFERRepresenting Team #2, from Thunder Bay, Ontario, weighing in at 218 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRR!!!!! COLE And of course, Strutter losing the belt to Sandman9000, who made his stunning return at Zero Hour, in the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell III! COACH And Sandman is also a part of this match, I believe! COLE That's right!God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid gets a big pop as he makes his way out, through the yellow smoke in the entryway. BUFFERRepresenting Team #1! Hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!! COLE And another participant in that brutal match, Thunderkid! COACH This is going to be a great match, Cole! Thunderkid poses on the buckles, as Renegade hits and boos fill the arena as the lights go out. A single spotlight shines on the curtains, as Reject walks out and down to the ring. COACH The International World champion, Reject! BUFFERRepresenting Team #2...hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...he is the OAOAST International champion of the WORLD...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! Reject walks slowly to the ring, shoving his belt in people's faces, letting them know that he is in fact a World champion. He slides into the ring, and poses with the belt, as a cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me."Punishment by BIOHAZARD starts up, as Brock Ausstin walks out to a monster pop and stops at the top of the ramp, and starts doing his HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! BUFFERRepresenting Team #1! Hailing from Victoria, Minnesota, and weighing in at 290 pounds...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Brock walks to ringside, and hops onto the apron, then pulls on the ropes, causing pyro to shoot out of the ringposts. COACH Whoa! Brock then climbs into the ring, and starts doing the dance again, as Magnum Opus plays, and Alfdogg gets a mixed reaction as he walks to the ring. COLE And this is the final member of Team 2, former holder of many OAOAST titles, Alfdogg! BUFFERIntroducing the final member of Team #2, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is a former THREE-TIME Heavyweight champion of the WORLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! Alf walks to the ring, then climbs in and poses on the buckles, to a mixed reaction. His music dies down, and the crowd starts to anticipate Sandman's entrance. The lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. COLE The Heartland champion about to make his appearance! Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! A figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFERAnd the final member of Team #1, hailing from South of Heaven...weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA AAAANNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! The fans are going crazy, as Sandman, totally focused on the ring, walks down the aisle, then climbs into the ring. He rips his bandanas off, then hands his belt to the referee, who snatches it away quickly, obviously intimidated. Both teams then get together, as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And we're ready for a big-time ten-man tag team match! Guys step out, and Sandman and Reject are left to start. Reject hesitantly moves in, and gives Sandman a thumb to the eye. He then starts delivering right hands, but Sandman fires back! COLE And Sandman getting the best of this exchange with Reject! Sandman backs Reject into the corner, and fires off forearms, until Reject slumps into a sitting position! The crowd cheers him on, as Sandman picks up Reject, who delivers a knee to the gut, then puts Sandman in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then whips Sandman across, but Sandman gets the feet up on a charge! He then grabs Reject and delivers a big headbutt, sending him down on the mat! COACH And the International World champion not faring well right now against the Heartland champion! Sandman picks up Reject, and executes a snapmare, followed by a seated dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman picks up Reject, and rakes his eyes across the top rope, much to the delight of the crowd! COACH What's wrong with these people? That's cheating! COLE Why don't you go tell Sandman that? COACH ...well, I would, but I've got a job to do here. COLE I see. Sandman tags in Jumbo, who steps through and delivers a big haymaker! He then delivers a second one, before sending Reject across. Reject ducks a clothesline, and catches Jumbo with a spinning wheel kick! COLE And finally, a big move from Reject! Reject quickly tags out to Alf, who goes to pick up Jumbo, but Jumbo pucks him up in a bearhug and carries him to the corner, where he works him over with punches. Jumbo backs up, and charges, but Alf gets his feet up! Jumbo is staggered, then Alf hops to the second rope, and catches him from behind with a BULLDOG~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf gets to his feet, and executes a snap legdrop! Alf then moves around to his legs, and picks them up, stepping through for a SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE Alf going for the Sharpshooter early! COACH But can he get it on the big man? Alf steps halfway over, but TK jumps in and clotheslines him to the mat! COACH Come on, ref! Jumbo gets to his feet, then picks up Alf. He whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a BIG BOOT~! He then tags out to TK! COLE And now it's Alf and TK! TK picks up Alf, and executes a European uppercut! He delivers a second one, which staggers Alf back into the corner. TK then whips Alf across, and catches him coming out with a PRESS SLAM~! COACH Uh-oh... Alf is slammed down hard to the mat! TK lays him back down, and drops a knee to the sternum! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK picks up Alf again, and whips him into the ropes. TK puts his head down, however, and Alf gives him a kick! Alf then delivers a savate kick, before hooking TK and taking him over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE Great belly-to-belly suplex by Alf! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf walks over and tags Strutter, while TK rolls over and tags Denzel Spencer. COLE Tags on both sides, and it's Strutter and Spencer! COACH What an act of cowardice by TK, once he saw Felix come in, he rolled right over and tagged out! COLE Strutter and Spencer circle the ring, and tie up. Strutter backs Spencer into a corner, then takes him out with an armdrag! Strutter poses, to boos, but Spencer bounces right back and hits a running enziguri! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Can't take your eyes off the ball in this one! Spencer scoops up Strutter, and delivers a rib breaker! He follows with a standing moonsault, but Strutter gets the knees up! COACH These two are so quick, Cole! COLE And Felix Strutter a little quicker on that exchange, getting the knees up! Strutter drags Spencer over to the corner, and tags in Quentin Benjamin. COLE And now it's one half of Team Heyross, Quentin Benjamin! Benjamin executes a gutwrench suplex, followed by a fistdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin picks up Spencer, and executes a backbreaker, then heads to the top rope. He waits for Spencer to get to his feet, and executes a flying clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin whips Spencer into the ropes, and tries a spinning wheel kick, but Spencer hooks the ropes, and Benjamin crashes into the mat! Spencer tags in Brock, which gets a loud reaction. COACH Uh-oh... Benjamin begs off, but to no avail, as Brock grabs him, then picks him up, and veals him across the ring! COLE Look at the strength of Brock Ausstin! Benjamin is in tremendous pain, as Brock picks him up in a two-handed chokehold, and slams him down to the mat! Cover... 1... 2... Strutter saves! Brock tags Sandman back in, while Benjamin tags Moss. COACH Heh...Moss didn't look too happy about that tag! COLE And I don't blame him, because look at who's across the ring from him! Moss slowly moves in, and goes to the eyes, then backs him into a corner and delivers some shoulder thrusts. COLE But look at Charlie Moss, taking it to him! Moss whips Sandman across, and charges...but Sandman moves, then floors Moss with a YAKUZA KICK~! Moss staggers into his corner, swinging and missing for a tag! COLE And look at this, none of the other guys want in there! After a few seconds, Strutter holds his hand out, and gets the tag. COLE Finally, Felix steps in there, with the man who took the Heartland title from him eleven days ago! Strutter moves in with a right hand, which Sandman blocks, and delivers one of his own! Sandman continues to fire off rights, then clotheslines Strutter to the mat! Sandman then picks up Strutter, and brings him to his corner, setting him up in a tree of woe, as all five members of the team tee off on him! COACH Get in there, ref, this is a mugging! Strutter's team jumps in to assist him, and a big brawl breaks loose! COLE And we've got a meelay here! Brock hammers on Reject, sending him rolling out to the floor, while the referee frantically tries to restrain everyone else. Eventually, everyone goes back to their corners, as Spencer tags in, and delivers a DDT! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Spencer then whips Strutter into a corner, and charges, but Strutter moves, and Spencer takes it shoulder-first! COLE And Denzel Spencer going shoulder-first into the ringpost! Strutter tags out to Charlie Moss, who bars Spencer's arm behind his back, and delivers an armbar slam! Moss then picks up Spencer, and sets him up for a powerbomb...but Spencer slugs away, and counters to a hurricanrana! Spencer then goes to the top, and catches Moss with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Spencer backs into the ropes, but catches a knee to the back from Benjamin! COLE And Quentin Benjamin with a cheap shot from the outside! Spencer staggers right into Moss, who delivers the STO BACKBREAKER~! He then lifts him onto his shoulders before tagging Benjamin, who is already making his way to the top, and they execute the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!!!11111 COACH That'll do it! Nighty-night, Denzel! 1... 2... 3...NO! Jumbo makes the save! COACH Come ON! COLE Jumbo in there to break up the count! This incites another brawl, as Strutter and Benjamin double-team Jumbo and knock him to the floor, while Alf and Sandman slug it out. Strutter and TK then brawl in a corner, while Team Heyross double-teams Brock Ausstin. Meanwhile, Spencer rolls to the outside...where he's met with a chair shot from Reject! COLE Oh, no! Reject sending that chair right into the SKULL of Denzel Spencer, and the referee didn't see it! Reject then rolls back inside the ring, as the brawl dies down once again. Jumbo meets him, and asks for a test of strength. COACH I wouldn't do this, Reject! Reject goes for it, then starts delivering kicks to the midsection when both hands are locked. He goes for an Irish whip, but Jumbo reverses, and catches Reject in a bearhug! Reject struggles for a bit, then delivers thumbs to the eyes, breaking the hold! Reject then measures Jumbo...and delivers the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE EULOGY for Jumbo! 1... 2... NO! Brock makes the save! COACH And how about that cheap shot, Cole? COLE He's got a five-count! Reject rolls Jumbo over to his side, where his team does a number on him! COACH And now, a little taste of their own medicine! Jumbo's team responds, as Brock, TK, and Sandman come over to even the odds! The brawl spills to the floor this time, and it's a big meelay! COLE And Denzel Spencer just now coming to out there after that vicious chairshot, just in time for this brawl! The brawl slowly dies down again, and it ends up with Quentin Benjamin and Brock Ausstin in the ring. Benjamin executes a back suplex, then heads to the top rope. However, Brock beats him, and crotches him on the top! Benjamin falls to the mat, as Brock tags in Jumbo. Brock and Jumbo whip Benjamin in, and drop him with a double elbow! COLE And some nice double team work between Brock and Jumbo! Jumbo then backs into the ropes, and goes for the XL SPLASH~!!!111...but Benjamin rolls out of the way, then tags in Moss! COACH Quentin dodged a bullet right there! Moss trades blows with Jumbo, losing handily, of course, and Jumbo tags Sandman. He slams Moss first, then Sandman comes in with a guillotine legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Sandman backs Moss into the ropes, where Alf makes a blind tag. COLE And a tag was made right there... Moss shoves Sandman off, and Alf steps in. Sandman hops over Moss...right into a AA SPINEBUSTER~! from Alf! COLE Alf with that spinebuster! Alf gets to his feet and poses, drawing a mixed reaction, mostly boos. Alf then goes to the top as Sandman gets to his feet, and flies off...but Sandman catches him with a fist to the gut, sending Alf for a flip over onto his back! COLE And Alf gets caught coming down off that top rope! Sandman walks up to Alf, and scrapes his boot right across the face! COACH OW! Sandman does it a second time, then tosses Alf to the outside. COLE Alf to the outside now... TK grabs Alf on the outside, and whips him into the guardrail! COACH Look at this, come on, ref! Benjamin knees TK in the back from behind, then Brock grabs Alf and tosses him back inside. Alf begs off, but Brock stomps away at him in the corner. COLE And look at this, Alf and Brock going at it here! Brock stomps a mudhole, then yells out to the crowd, which cheers in response. Brock then tries to pick up Alf...but Alf catches him with a LOW BLOW~! COLE And Alf with a low blow, now where's the disqualification? Alf goes to the top, but Brock is able to beat him, and crotches him once again! COLE Well, there's a little payback for Brock! Brock then follows Alf up, hooking him in a waistlock, and taking him off the top with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COACH Oh no! COLE BIG belly-to-belly superplex from Brock Ausstin! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Benjamin saves with a sliding dropkick! COACH And what a save by Quentin Benjamin! Brock and Alf both inch towards their corners, and Alf tags Reject, as Brock tags Sandman! COLE And we're back where we started, it's Sandman against Reject! The two slug it out, with Sandman getting the better of it, until Reject goes to the eyes. Reject backs Sandman into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject scoops Sandman up, and executes a fisherman's buster! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject picks up Sandman, and sets him up for the PITCH BLACK~!!!!!11111...but Sandman counters, setting up Reject for a slingshot! He sends Reject into the corner, then catches him coming back out with a foot to the gut, setting up the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111...but Reject spins out, and hits the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COACH OH YEAH~! This is it, Cole! Reject covers arrogantly... 1... 2... NO!!! Sandman gets a shoulder up! COACH Oh, fuck. COLE It's a two-count! Reject questions referee Earl Hebner, then shoves him...and Hebner shoves back, knocking Reject right down to the mat! COACH Now what is this? Earl Hebner getting physically involved? How dare he! Sandman rolls up Reject... 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Alf tags in, and he and Reject double team Sandman. Spencer runs in to help, triggering another brawl. COLE Here we go again! Team Heyross double teams Sandman, while Reject and Brock spill to the outside. Strutter knocks Jumbo to the floor with a knee to the back, then brawls with Spencer as Alf and TK brawl to the outside. Strutter whips Spencer into a corner, and charges, but Spencer gets the feet up. Alf then hops on the apron, and drops Spencer throat-first across the top rope. Spencer staggers backwards, right into Strutter...who delivers the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!!!11111 COACH Way to go, Felix! COLE And look at Alf now! Alf has scaled the top, and delivers the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH YES~! BUFFERLadies and gentlemen, the winners of the match...the team of TEAM HEYROSS, REJECT, "AFTER HOURS" FELIX STRUTTER, and ALFDOGG!!!!! Sandman slides back into the ring with lighttubes, sending Alf and Strutter running for cover! COLE But it's not over yet! Alf's team heads for the aisle, as Sandman's team comes together, and Sandman raises his two lighttubes in the air. COLE Alf may have picked up the win here, but it's Sandman9000 and his team holding fort in the ring! Folks we will see you next week for more hard hitting action here on TSM with OAOAST HeldDOWN! Good night everybody!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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