Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 RIP GRANDMASTER SEXAY~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 ****TMW Hotties Tag Team Titles: The Woke Queens (c) Vs The Midnight Foxes W/Jim Cornette*** I don't know where the lights are taking us But something in the night is dangerous And nothing's holding back the two of us But, baby, this is getting serious Oh oh oh Dan-danger-dangerous Oh oh oh As "Dangerous" by David Guetta and Sam Martin gets the EDM fans a bouncing, a circle of candles appeared on the entrance stage. Swaggering out first was the tennis racket holding James E Cornette. He was promptly fawned over and felt up by Caeldori Fox and Ruby, much to the disgust of pretty much everyone. LILLIAN The following is for the TMW Tag Team Championships...now making their way to the ring, being accompanied by JAMES E CORNETTE..."MISS PERFECT" CAELDORI FOX..."THE SCARLET WITCH" RUBY....THE MIIIDDDDNNIIIGGHHTHTTT FOOOXXXEESSSS! "BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!" RENEE This is our opening contest live from The Toy Box on the TMW Network, and it's for the TMW Tag Team Championships. Reject it's super brave for you to be out here with a broken ankle. REJECT I've been put through flaming tables, thrown through Hell In The Cells, hit with barbwire baseball bats. Renee, I will not give in to a Belle. Especially not Lawson Belle. Cornette found his way to the announce desk. CORNETTE I've managed them all, The Midnight Express, Owen Hart and The Bulldog, Yokozuna, Vader may they all rest in peace, but I've never managed anyone has talented and as hot and as sexually liberated than The Midnight Foxes! RENEE I'd be kinda worried if Yokozuna was sexually liberated. Ba-ba ba-da-da-ba Ba-ba-ba ba-da-da-ba Ba-ba ba-da-da-ba Ba-ba ba-da-da-ba Ba-ba-ba ba-da-da-ba Ba-ba ba-da-da-ba Ba-ba ba-da-da-ba Ba-ba-ba ba-da-da-ba I say, I really really wanna You think, I'm really really gonna I'm an illusionist, throwing cards and doing tricks The way is better where I'm going Where the green grass growing Call it imaginative, I say it's the greatest gift, cause Oh, I move so naturally Sway my hips so you can see It's the only way to be Now you've got to follow me As Aluna George told us to Hold Our Head High, the fans marveled at How2Girl being lowered to the ceiling with her doted upon partner being carried in her arms. Tori wasn't all damsel in distress as she hopped out H2G's arms and popped the crowd with a cute dance routine. Well until she fell flat on her face! CORNETTE From Miss Perfect to Miss God Awful. I'm disgusted as a wrestling fan, a manager, a promoter and a human being! LILLIAN And the champions, "THE BABE CRUSADER" HOW 2 GIRL, "MAID MAYHEM" TORI MALIBU....THE WOOOOKKEEE QUUUUEEEEENNNSS! "YYYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAA!" The Midnights got the jump on The Queens early on. But the Queens proved they ruled the ring as they cleared the challengers all the way out of the squared circle. "STAY WOKE! STAY WOKE! STAY WOKE!" Caeldori was frazzled but got encouragement from Cornette... CORNETTE to CAELDORI REJECT You do that to Stan Lane, Jimmy? Caeldori was ready to roll and locked up with How2Girl. The super whore muscled Caeldori into the corner, but the problem was it was The Midnights' corner. A blind tag was made, and the challengers hit How2Girl with a double drop toe hold followed by a double elbow drop. CORNETTE The Woke Queens are like the fat girl with acne of the tag team division. You feel sorry for her, so you're kind of nice to her, but you know the real action is with the prom queen, The Midnight Foxes. Tough to the end, How2Girl came up firing with a barrage of knife edge chops for the ginger witch. But when the Babed Crusader went to the ropes, she got kneeed in the back by Caeldori. Staggering forward, the Venice beach native was punished by The Scarlet Witch's zig zag! "OOOOOHHHHHH!" RENEE Draconic Hex! But referee Val Venis only got a one count. Another tag was exchanged by the heels, who proceeded to hit How2Girl with a slingshot stun gun! REJECT Jimmy the double teaming by your girls is excellent. CORNETTE Expect nothing but the best from the best! The best double teams, the best outfits, the best blowjobs, the best rimjobs! RENEE Ewwww. Caledori started taunting, and slapping around How2Girl, which was a baaaaaad idea... "OOOOOOHHHHHH!" CORNETTE Ahhhh! Luckily, Miss Perfect had no lasting damage to her perfect face. Though she couldn't stop the tag to Tori Malibu! "YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAA!" Tori ran through a dazed Miss Perfect with a pair of leaping lariats that further popped The Toy Box! Caledori tried to take control with a hip toss, but Tori flipped out of it, and...LOOKED COOL DOING IT!! CORNETTE Well fuck me. For her next trick she'll chew bubblegum and walk at the same time. Tori threw a snap School's Out, which had Caeldori ducking and hurrying to her corner to tag in Ruby. RENEE That School's Out has been scaring the daylights out of people since 2003. Ruby wasn't scared, and in fact came in grinning. RUBY Hheheh, fierios pedious! TORI Ahhh, my heels feel like they're on fire! Poor Tori is hopping around like mad, even though her shoes are perfectly fine. Such is the power of magic. CORNETTE That's real magic, not that hocus pocus Chuck-E-Cheese bullshit Zelda Bazil is selling. And let me tell you something, Zelda Bazil is the Dixie Carter of the magic world! RENEE Hey! REJECT The ultimate insult. Tori is tripped up by Ruby and locked into an achilles tendon hold! There's something you don't see often, a magic spell into a submission. But Tori is a tough cookie and made the ropes with Ruby stretching the limits of The Big Valbowski's five count. "LET'S GO TORI! LET'S GO TORI! LET'S GO TORI!" Knocked around a bit by Ruby, Maid Mayhem stayed tough and started fighting back. Still Ruby collared her in a sleeper, but before it could be properly applied Tori slipped out and hit a sleeper drop on The Scarlet Witch! "YYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAA!" RENEE Ruby's Fade got Ran! Fortunately for The Midnights, Ruby was right near her corner and got the tag to Caeldori. Miss Perfect was on Tori like she's on a sale at Zara and started wailing away at her with stomps. CORNETTE And let me tell you about that Soccer Mom. She has no place in a wrestling ring, no place in the wrestling business. She belongs here as much as I belong in the Saudi Arabian parliament! RENEE I think Susan Leslie aka The Soccer Mom is a great woman. REJECT Just because she's a nice person doesn't make her right for this business. Tori was back on her feet, but still had to suffer through a That All You Got piledriver from the Miami Beach native. Yet rather than go for a pin, Miss Perfect had to make sure she looked good in her outfit... CAELDORI Perfect! But when she turned around she ate a PERFECT School's Out from Maid Mayhem! "YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAA!" CORNETTE Gah! Gah! Gah! RENEE Say gah one more time and maybe she'll get up faster. CORNETTE Gah! RENEE Nope, still down. Tori crawled to her corner and made the painstaking tag to How2Girl! "H-2-G! H-2-G! H-2-G!" the Toy Box chanted. How2Girl was super excellent as she ran through The Midnights with a bunch of Warrior esque shoulder tackles! CORNETTE I hate The Ultimate Warrior, I hate Mister Warrior, and I hate How2Girl! How2Girl continued to terrorize The Midnights, knocking them down with a series of punches. But things seemed to turn The Midnights say as Caeldori hooked the Venice Beach babe in a front facelock while Ruby went to the second rope. Tori came to the rescue though as she shoved Ruby all the way to the outside! RENEE And out goes The Scarlet Witch! How2Girl then used her super strength to power out of Miss Perfect's hold. That super strength then saw H2G throw her own partner butt first into Miss Perfect! That created a lot of exeration for Tori on her rear end, and How2Girl, the super whore, got plenty of the booty sweat. RENEE There...uh...a very close tag team. Cornette had seen move than enough, and slid into the ring with his legendary tennis racket. Somehow his 60 year old self was able to evade The Big Valbowski, but he wasn't able to evade the School's Out Tori smacked him underneath the jaw with! "YYYYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAA!" REJECT That may have been desperation, but Corny needed to buy The Midnight Foxes some time. Buy time he did as Ruby returned to lariat herself and Tori over the ropes! Caeldori sprung into action herself, throwing a discus lariat at How2Girl. However the attack was ducked and Caeldori slammed her arm into The Big Valbowski to knock him out! REJECT So he can take a punch from Mankind, Droz, Albert, and The Rock but one clothesline from Caeldori Fox knocks him out? How2Girl felt The Big Valbowski's pain as any good superhero would. But that left her wide open to the Tomhawk Chop, LEBRENDA JAMES rocked her with! RENEE A Slam Dunk! Why does she keep meddling in The Woke Queens' matches? LeBrenda hightailed it out of the ring, as Caeldori made a hurried cover. Of course Val Venis was ready to count this and count he did for the one, two, three! RENEE Oh, please! This is nuts! Winner: The Midnight Foxes, via pinfall....NEW CHAMPIONS! But, wait! Instead of hearing Dangerous we heard Back In Black and out came Lisa Ann to the stage. LISA ANN LeBrenda, I've tolerated you way too long! Look at what I get for my tolerance, you're going nuts interfering in every Woke Queens match there is. Who do you think you are? REJECT Damn, Lisa Ann is letting bitches know. LISA ANN LeBrenda hit the showers. Time keeper hit the bell, because this match is being restarted! CAELDORI You can't do that! LISA ANN You may be Miss Perfect, but I'm the Ho That Runs The Show! Now get ready! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAA!" Caeldori is furious and turns around to complain, but gets smacked upside the head with a School's Out! RENEE Nailed it! The pin was made and The Woke Queens retained their title belts! Winners: The Woke Queens, VIA PINFALL REJECT I don't know if I agree with restarting the match, but well, LeBrenda has pushed Lisa Ann's patience. RENEE Ya think?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 Backstage in an interview set with chainlink fence and a TV monitor we have Josh Matthews with Tristan Nystrom. MATTHEWS Tristan, these past several weeks have been perhaps the hardest of your career. Can you recover? TRISTAN Ay, they have been hard. Beaten by Jose, attacked, attacked and then staked in the leg. But it's all the cause of one man. One man who cowardly jumps me from behind instead of standing in front of me for the fair fight. I admit I haven't always been the best of person. But if I'm going to kill ya, I'm gonna look you in the eyes while I do it. Mystery man, whoever you may be, I want you to look me in the eyes at School's Out. Tristan's cold grey eyes give a hard stare to the camera, and he walks off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 Backstage we found Fabian fluffing his hair in the mirror when good ol Annie shoved a mic in his face. ANNIE Fabian, Fabian! Inquiring minds want to know when you'll go see Daisuke Motozaki. He has a 2x4 with your name on it! Fabian curls his arm around Annie's shoulders FABIAN Annie, how can you as a Fabianiac let a spastic Japanese man wield an international object to commit the crime of assault and battery on your hero? ANNIE Gee, I'm not sure... FABIAN You know I'm here to save TMW! I'm the CEO of TMW, aren't I? ANNIE I'm not sure...are you? FABIAN Of course! What The Shell Gang needs is strong leaders. Champions. Women of integrity. Journalistic integrity. And most importantly vocal range! ANNIE Journalistic integrity? Vocal range? I have both! Would you like me to sing for you? FABIAN I'd like you to sing for the world! Why should Tony Tourettes sing the national anthem at AngleMania. Annie should be singing the national anthem at TMW Shell Gangmania! Annie we need someone who will stand up and fight for Fabian Nystrom! Fight for The Divine and embrace Divinity! ANNIE I can do that! But...how do I do that? FABIAN Talk Daisuke down on his fools errand to fight me. Tell him my focus is on taking the Galaxy Title off Blaine Cayley. TMW SCHOOL'S OUT CLASS OUT, TITS OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 ***Gus Gomez Vs Daisuke Motzaki*** RENEE Hey, Gus is back! REJECT Heard he's on work release from the Wayne County jail. Daisuke was dominating Gus as expected until Annie came out with her microphone. ANNIE Daisuke, inquiring minds want to know if you'll please leave Fabian alone? DASIUKE Hmmm, Daisuke not think so. ANNIE ...I wasn't expecting that. Gus then took control of the match, but Annie persisted. ANNIE Will you please leave Fabian alone? Gus hit a body slam and a splash so Daisuke couldn't answer. ANNIE Pretty please. A suplex followed by a second rope fist drop prevented Daisuke from answering. REJECT All the guys in the day room are rooting on Gus. But Daisuke mounted a comeback he never should have had to make and beat Gus with the Rainbow Dash Mash! Winner: Daisuke Motozaki, via pinfall Post-match Daisuke decided to answer Fabian's request... DAISUKE Request denied! Daisuke coming to swag on The TMW CEO's punk ass! ANNIE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 "Back In Black" hits and the Toy Box are on their feet for Lisa Ann, and The Ho Who Runs The Show comes out in style... "YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAA!" LISA ANN It's been said that we at TMW only promote gratuitous violence. RENEE I'm shocked someone would say that! LISA ANN Our selection of greatest moments amount to assault and battery porn. And guess what? They're spot on! We're no longer in the wrestling development business. We're in the entertainment business. And guess what? People love a fight! "YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!" LISA ANNBut there is such a thing as going too far in TMW. Last week we saw that firsthand when Lawson Belle brutally attacked Reject. "FUCK YOU, LAWSON! FUCK YOU, LAWSON! FUCK YOU, LAWSON!" LISA ANN I feel like many others that Reject's comments on December were in poor taste. But Reject is no longer an active competitor, and had no business being a victim of an assault. Because of his actions, Lawson Belle as been suspended. You don't have to worry, Reject. Reject grimaces as he gets up and hobbles to grab a mico. But before he can talk.... Want money, cars, flyest clothes Anything anybody could ever want All eyes on me so cold Felt the spotlight when I walked through the door Pretty girls, living fast Everybody watching, waiting for me to crash Know I drive right through the wall Cus god want me to ball Cus god want me to ball RENEE Who is it now?! It is The Falcon Prince, Abdullah Abir Nerdly who appears in full Muslim regalia. A bold choice after he was exploited against Sgt. Holt ABDULLAH Lisa Ann, Reject, my brother, my child. REJECT? ABULLAH God has wrought many blessed judgements upon evil doers. Let us not let Lawson escape the judgement of Allah. Son of man, thou dwellest in the midst of a rebellious house, which have eyes to see, and see not; they have ears to hear, and hear not. But Lawson Belle hear me now I will attack you with righteous fury and cut you down in honor of my dearest son, Reject. What say you Lisa Ann? LISA ANN Abdullah Versus Lawson Belle at School's Out? I say let's do it! "ABDULLAH!" "LET'S GO REJECT!" "ABDULLAH!" "LET'S GO REJECT!" "ABDULLAH! RENEE Do you hear that, Reject? REJECT? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 Backstage we find TMW Galaxy Champion Blaine Cayley getting one final look over by The TMW medical staff ahead of his tag title match in tonight's mainevent. At his side as always is his twin sister, Sammi Cayley. In the middle of it, ALEXANDER THE MAGNIFICENT comes in. His Money In The Bank Briefcase is held in his hand. ALEXANDER Are you sure you can go tonight? BLAINE Doctor? DOCTOR It's iffy. ALEXANDER I don't do iffy. And I don't do weakness. I do magnificence. BLAINE (standing up) Say, if I took that scalpel and shoved it into your eye I think that would be rather magnificent. SAMMI Stop it, the both of you. If my brother stands before you now, he will stand at your side in the tag title match. That we can assure you off. BLAINE Is that Magnificent enough for you? Alexander says nothing, just noticeably taps his MITB case and walks out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 ***The Stretching Club (Danny Cox, and Hackenschmidt) Vs Conan "Coco" Chanel and Money Marc Bennett W/The Doll*** Blanchefleur's expected fireworks happened right as the bell rung as neither Coco nor Money Marc could decide who started. MONEY MARC Get out the ring and let money talk! COCO I think bullshit should walk. So you leave. RENEE So far Blanchefleur, one, the sanity of Money Marc and Coco Chanel, zero! Referee Titana Nerdly put her foot down and had Money Marc start. The whole match was a series of bickering and arguments between Coco and Money Marc, interspersed with some wrestling moves. In the end the mismatched pair got their act together long enough for Money Marc to pin the smaller BL with a Death Valley Driver. Winner: Money Marc Benett and Conan Chanel, via pinfall Post match, "The One You Know" by Alice In Chains hit and out came The War Hammers! REJECT We got trouble, Renee! RENEE Big trouble! MAUL We're here, we're here, The War Hammers Are Here! Money Marc fed Coco to The War Hammers who destroyed him as he and The Doll escaped! RENEE Hey, he just threw him between a rock and a hard place....Mathis Golden and Maul! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 As we return to ringside we find Jesse Ferguson, clad in business suit standing with a naked pair of Cassidy Bots and the werewolf Amber O'Shea, wearing a black tank top and torn up jeans. JESSE Thank you, thank you! I am the son of a plumber. His name was Jesse, and he named his two kids Jesse and Jessica in hopes they would live a better life he and his father did. He hoped they would achieve great and grand things. So far, I am proud to say one of them has...me...Jesse Ferguson! "BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!" the fans hiss as Amber scowls at them. JESSE Please, hold your applause. RENEE They are. JESSE Don't believe the hype when you hear about my genius. Or when it's boasted about on TMW Twitter. Believe what you see. Believe the Cassidy Bots! The Cassidy Bots dead ringers for Cassidy stand motionless, beside an equally impassive Amber. JESSE You know my grandfather grew up in Ireland, and came to America at the age of 21, with not a penny to his name. He never could get the woman he lived because he was too poor. Just like Lisa Ann couldn't Cassidy Maguire to sign on the dotted line for reasons. REJECT The less Maguires the better. JESSE This, uh, this isn't a tyranny, Cassidy is uh free to sign where she choses. But the show must go on and all that! And you can't stop progress! Can you? No you can't. You see my alleged contemporaries struggle with the AI riddle, but I have made the AI legend into the Cassidy Bot! The world's most advanced sex bot! Mmm...yes...say something Cassidy Bots. CASSIDY BOTS Do you honestly expect me to be satisfied with one finger? Do you know who this asshole belong to? Amber raises an eyebrow at that, and is even more shocked to see Jesse buddy up to her. JESSE Mmm...yes...Amber, Cassidy is the aunt to your child, Jack. You know Cassidy, uh, very well I assume. Isn't that a lot like Cassidy? AMBER Sure, whatever you say. RENEE That wasn't convincing at all! Suddenly Boogie by Brockhampton hits and out come the preppy duo of GORY DRAGAN and CHAD MUSTARD! The two get a nice size pop RENEE Chad Mustard and Gory Dragan! Gory's a witch that can siphon other supernatural powers, but he's fallen with Chad's frat boy crowd and they've been tearing up the dark matches before the shows. REJECT Are they planning to wrestle robots? Amber steps in front of the frat bros, but Jesse welcomes them with a bright smile. JESSE Hello! Yes, yes, hello to all! GORY Hey, hey. When Gory and The Chadster heard there was a sex bot that didn't have the vacant eyes of a girl Chad's been feeding drinks to, we knew we had to be ALL IN! CHAD We are Brortica, and Bromancing is our game! But, one thing is for sure, we worship the Biracial god Derek Jeter, and if we were backstage his dick would extend through the entrance doors to this ring and penetrate these Cassidy Bots! You know it too, man! JESSE You'd like to try my Cassidy Bots? Wonderful! You would be the first live testers. Wonderful, indeed. Uh, don't you think so, Amber? AMBER Sure, whatever you say. RENEE Again, not very convincing. JESSE Cassidy Bots. Please bend over for Brortica. CASSIDY BOTS If you don't fuck us hard, we'll scream rape. CHAD You wouldn't be the first! The bots bend over like their told, presenting pussies that look all too real. Chad grits his teeth and enters first. The sensation of the robotic pussy may even be better than a real one, and it's all Chad can do to not lose his sperm. As he thrusts in, the robot gives a raw moan and arches her back to start fucking him herself. CASSIDY BOT 1 For the love of all that is rich and shiny I'll do it myself! Gory has to get his and plants his rod into the second Cassidy Bot. He grips her slender hips and plows forward. With better control than Chad, he's able to build up a steady rhythm of fucking Cassidy. He's obviously using considerable force. Every stroke drives Cassidy's body forward and sets her perk breasts swinging. GORY This is...MAGIC! JESSE Wonderful! Yes, yes, my invention is a success! You know whatI like the playettesNo diggity, no doubtPlay on playette, play on playetteYo dre, drop the verse RENEE Hey, who's music is that? It's BLK! Who appear in the ring after coming through the crowd! Booker X, Luther Mandela, and Martin Garvey! It's going down, fade to blackstreetThe homies got rb, collab' creationsBump like acne, no doubtI put it down, never slouchAs long as my credit can vouchA dog couldn't catch me ass outTell me who can stop when dre makin' movesAttracting honeys like a magnetGiving 'em eargasms with my mellow accentStill moving this flavorWith the homies blackstreet and teddyThe original rump shakers Booker X delivers a BIG BOOT that knocks Gory all the way out of Cassidy Bot's snatch! JESSE Chad is pulled out of his Cassidy Bot and is nailed with a triple powerbomb from BLK! The AI of the Cassidy Bots like what they see from BLK so much they hook their arms around the black studs and leave the ring with them! RENEE Jesse is quite pleased with this evolution of his AI and just grins with no sympathy shown to Broritica! I like the way you work itNo diggity, I got to bag it up, bag it upI like the way you work itNo diggity, I got to bag it up, bag it upI like the way you work itNo diggity, I got to bag it up, bag it upI like the way you work itNo diggity, I got to bag it up, bag it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 ***Weapons of Smart Ass Destruction Vs Bernadette Sanders and JoAnne Mcain*** Don't need a metaphor Oh, oh, woah Oh, oh, woah Oh oh woah, oh oh woah, oh oh woah Oh, oh, woah Oh, oh, woah Oh oh woah, oh oh woah, oh oh woah Two years gone Came back as some bones and so cynical This skin don't feel like home It's all overgrown but you'll never know Take the mirror from the wall so I can't see myself at all Don't wanna see another damn inch of my skull Forget the poems of saints and ghosts I'm the one I fear the most Little did I know that I was only crying wolf As "What's Wrong" by Pvris hit most eyes were focused on Jessica Ferguson, who came out looking skimpier than ever! JESSICA RENEE Wow! JESSICA I assume this is filthy whore enough? One of the Studs got a little too close to Jessica and got shoved back by The Masked Assassin. Shoved back hard enough that he nearly fell into a grumpy brunette Fluffer, who stomped him in the nuts! RENEE Giffable moment after giffable moment. Joanne and Bernadette jumped on the weaker Jessica, but got chased off by TMA! TMA Back off. Or you're dead. Referee Grandmaster Sexay had a hell of a time getting Joanne and Bernadette out of the ring because TMA kept kicking both their asses! REJECT What a fucking shocker, Brian Christopher can't do his job. Jessica came in to try and assist, or at least to observe... JESSICA The one in the blue tights...her head snaps back in a way modern physics has never beheld. RENEE That can't be good. But a big mixup happened when Joanne bumped into Jessica who fell upon Grandmaster Sexay! Being his father's son, he knew what time it could be... GRANDMASTER SEXAY You wanna get....SEXAAAAAY? JESSICA Do dragon fly larva own an unexpected place on the food chain? GRANDMASTER SEXAY ..... JESSICA "JESSICA! JESSICA! JESSICA!" REJECT Oh man! TMA did not appreciate that! No sir! TMA wounded up snaring BC into an Octopus Stretch and he called for the bell as he tapped out. Winner: Joanne and Bernadette, via dq Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 Inside the ring stands the always lovely, Renee Young. RENEE Ladies and gentlemen, it is my esteemed pleasure to bring you a HUGE inspiration...MISS CUNT STACY KUNTZ! "YYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!" My fight is wonWho needs a gunBoom boom knock you outYou knocked me downBut who's laughing nowBoom boom knock you outMy fight is wonWho needs a gunBoom boom knock you outYou knocked me downBut who's laughing nowBoom boom knock you out As Bingo Players' "Knock You Out" booms over the massive cheer, a golden shower of pyro descends upon the stage. Through the sparks comes Miss Cunt, tipping a glittering cowgirl hat to the adoring fans. Far nicer than her dad, she high five fans on her way to the ring. But keen eyes might notice she just high fives the female fans. RENEE Stacy, or Miss Cunt, if you want, can I just say every single person in the TMW Galaxy was pulling for you at AngleMania X-Seven. "STACY! STACY! STACY!" RENEE And for you to pull out the win against all odds in fighting Effie Reese and then Glass Juliet...you're amazing! "STACY! STACY! STACY!" MISS CUNT Thank you, everybody. I encountered so many things when Glass Juliet and Effie entered my life. Many horrible things. But I also saw the courage of my father, Big Papa Thrust and Baron Windels. And I know in the future I can look back and smile on all of their memories. And I hope you can too! "YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAA!" RENEE Your victory is a victory for all of us. But, I was kind of surprised to see you follow in their footsteps and join the TMW roster as a regular competitor. What made you wanna do that? MISS CUNT Why not? The goal of Kunt-Fu is to become the best version of yourself, and you only get to be the best by fighting the best! RENEE Kunt-Fu, you say. MISS CUNT The strongest martial art known to woman! Much stronger than those degenerate males rolling around with each other in BJJ and wrestling. Gross! But, you'll see when I put it in to action. I'm ultra excited to fight the strongest women in the world, and develop bonds that will last forever! Think of all the things us girls can do together. Shower together, skinny dip together, go bra shopping together. RENEE You don't say. So who are you- Come on, let me ride your bicycle It's so fantastical on your bicycle We can get a little more physical Baby, after all, it's only natural I feel it coming, coming, coming, oh I feel it running, running, running, oh Come on, let me ride your bicycle It's so fantastical on your bicycle TMW GALAXY No one thought they'd ever hear "Ride My Bicycle" again, but that's exactly what's blasting into the arena. A collective shock rolls through the fans as this woman appears... MALAYSIA NERDLY RENEE Oh no... Malaysia is all smiles and giggles as she strides to the ring. Renee is quick to back up, knowing what Malaysia can do. But Stacy is warmly welcoming a fellow female. Jock must have left her out his old war stories. MALAYSIA Welcome back, Malaysia! The fans don't know about that! MALAYSIA Stacy, I am soooooooooo here for you. RENEE Why are you here for her? MALAYSIA Don't you understand, Renee? We're family, Stacy and I. We're soooooooooo family! RENEE Like heck you are! MALAYSIA Are you talking back to me? RENEEEeep! No, ma'am! MISS CUNT My spirit is increasing from having a strong woman talk to me! I'm Stacy Kuntz. MALAYSIA Mmmm, I know. I was soooooooooo your father's greatest love. He never met someone like me before or after. He probably spent every day of his life pining for my fit toned abs, my rock hard glutes, my strong biceps and me wet...well never mind. But in the end, he died without me and my love. It's soooooooooo tragic to think he didn't have me in the end. RENEE What are you trying to say here? MALAYSIA I couldn't be there for Jock in the end, but I can be here for his daughter at her start. Stacy, baby, sweetie, let me take you into her bosom and so you can suckle me until you're full of me. RENEE Again what are you trying to say? MALAYSIA Let me be by your side, Stacy. By your side, and in your front and in your back. Hhehehe. I am the only family you have left. RENEE Now hold on a second. Malaysia- MISS CUNT Excellent idea! I could learn so much from a strong female like yourself! MALAYSIA (to herself) Hhehehe, and you can cum so much too! MISS CUNT Hmmm? MALAYSIA Just saying I can't wait to give you all my love! Hheheheeh! Malaysia raises Miss Cunt's hand as "Knock You Out" begins playing and the fans wonder what Stacy's gotten into! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 ANNOUNCER Welcome to the TMW UNHoly Hour! Please welcome our special guests....DAY OF THE DEAD! Hold on, Holy Ghost Go on, hold me close Better run, here we come It's the day of the dead It's an unholy site as the scantily clad Lilly Florent and Cady of Grimm arrive on stage, short on clothes but high on spiked shoulder pads. Lilly is cool and sniffing a flower, but Cady is roaring and yelling quite like her father The Sadist. LILLIAN The following contest is a handicap match scheduled for one fall, now making their way to the ring "THE DEFLOWERED FLOWER" LILLY FLORENT, "THE SEMON DEMON" CADY OF GRIMM.....DAYYYY OOFF THHHEEE DEEAAADDD! "YYYYEEAAAAAAA!" REJECT Times have a changed, Renee. If Sadist laid his hands on Chuck Robinson, Watts would have fined his ass stupid. But his daughter lays her hands on Referee Nerdregard and she and Lilly get to pound him in a handicap match. Rather than get any entrance music, Referee Nerdregard arrives on stage to silence. He does have anger on his weasel face, but is just dressed in the TMW referee outfit. LILLIAN And their opponent, from Val D'Ors, Quebec, Canada, he is REFEREE WALLY NERRDDREEGGAARDDD! "BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOO!" RENEE So we learn his real name. But the hated official hasn't come to wrestle! WALLY NERDREGARD I get no respect! "YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!" WALLY NERDREGARD I've tried to make this company the best company it can be since the relaunch! RENEE How so?! WALLY NERDREGARD I'm a TMW megastar, and I get no respect! I was beaten by you, Cady, and made to look like a huge fool in front of the whole wide world and NRG stadium and it pisses me off! RENEE Good! WALLY NERDREGARD Lisa Ann didn't give me the proper respect and put me in a match with you! But she should be fired, she should be unemployed! She needs to go back to the whore house on Skid Row! "BBBBBOOOOOOOOO!" RENEE Cheap shot! CADY Referee Nerdregard! This is the Deflowered Flower, Lilly Florent, and I am The Semon Demon, Cady of Grimm, we are The Day of the Dead! Remember our names well because we will one day rule the world! LILLY Hey, how's it going? I'm Lilly. CADY Referee Nerdregard you have been fated to be cast into a watery grave! Answer death's call and knell before the might of the consumers of a thousand gallons of sperm! LILLY Oh, wow, we consumed that much? Are we counting all three holes? CADY I am counting ALL FIVE HOLES of the sonic dimension! Holes which you, Referee Nerdregard, will be cast into to be vanquished by death's butt plug! Come face your anal doom, worm! REFEREE NERDREGARD I won't! I went all the way to Hati and called upon the real demons to come and kick your butt because you deserve it for what you did to me! The following song plays... RENEE Wait a second, I know that music! Purple smoke surrounds the ring, and The Toy Box denizens have no clue what to expect. Truly some fuckery is about to go down tonight! And go down it does, as from the smoke arise two gold clad characters... RENEE Los Conquistadors!!!! Yes, the vodoo loving luchadores slide into the ring, gold, masked and full of malice! REFEREE NERDREGARD Now you're going to suffer, and you're gonna pay, and I'm gonna show you who the real semen demon is, because I get tons of ladies and they get tons of my semen! REJECT I find that hard to believe. Uno and Dos start waylaying The Day of The Dead with punches! REJECT They still got it! Actually they don't as Lilly punishes Dos with a sideways gut wrench powerbomb! "YYYYYYEAAAAAAA!" RENEE Flower Power! And Uno eats Cady's sitout spinebuster! "YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAA!" RENEEE Cauterization! But The Day of the Dead aren't done! Cady lifts Uno onto her shoulders, while Lilly goes to the top rope. Misery then befalls poor Uno as The Day of the Dead combine for the DOOMSDAY DEVICE! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAA!" That's plenty for Referee Nerdregard who hightails it back the way he came and probably back to the Nerdregard stronghold in Quebec. CADY Referee Nerdregard, you can not escape the claws of fate! You can not escape the Day of the Dead! "D-O-D! D-O-D! D-O-D!" RENEE I think Wally's time is coming soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 *** Wakefield w/ Horse vs. 2XS w/ Honey Dove & AVK *** Nuclear heat for the SOS after what they deprived us last week. Horse is dressed like a retro Hollywood director complete with hat and bullhorn. Wakefield opts for the casual adult set number of a shorts and a short. RENEEFor those who care about trending, the SOS owned the world of social media last week. Now they’re set to get owned by C02 at School’s Out. REJECT I’m not sure El Presidente himself could even sell his people on that one. The SOS are SOL. And you know what that means. 2XS and his ladies popped a lot of things on this night, including interest from Wakefield who rather than fight looked to sell the trio on doing a video! RENEEOne parody and Wakefield thinks he’s Axel Braun! Yes, women watch porn too! Within seconds 2XS and Co. are posing for Wakefield’s phone. The girls down on a knee wrapped around 2XS. Suddenly a black-headed python (really an S&M mask) crawls between the legs of 2XS! The mask comes off to reveal... BI-CURIOUS GEORGE! Cue “Rhythm is a Dancer” as George rises up running his hands up the girls and the body of 2XS! Then BCG throws confetti in the air! What’s happening nobody knows! Although Horse rather enthusiastically tells Wakefield to keep shooting. Whatever we saw comes to an end when 2XS lowers his glasses and slithers out of the ring. Result: No contest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 ***TMW World Tag Team Titles: The Shell Gang (Ignatius Maddix, Wesley Singleton) (c) Vs Alexander The Magnificent and Blaine Cayley W/Sammi Cayley*** ATM was all biz to start the match, but Wes just wanted to dap him up with the Gang Gang sign. RENEE Is he seriously trying to get Alexander to turn on his partner instead of fighting? The response was a series of hip tosses, but Wicked Wes just popped up offering more Gang Gang daps. RENEE Say what you want about Simon's conduct in The Enterprise, but when it came to wrestle a match he was all business. REJECT Except when he and Ned ducked The Saints repeatedly, or when they cheated Chicks Over Dicks out their tag titles numerous times, or when they would get intentionally disqualified against GPX. RENEE I said say what you want. Get off my case, motherfucker. REJECT A more emphatic point was delivered when Alexander drilled Wes with his trademark thrust kick. Though that move hurt mightily, Wes still offered Gang Gang dap. "WICKED PUSSY! WICKED PUSSY! WICKED PUSSY!" RENEE Politcally incorrect and damn proud of it, that's The Toy Box. Not playing the super team game was Ignatius Maddix, who tagged himself in. IGNATIUS (raising the Gang Gang sign) Spanish Sexy in the house! "YYYYYYYEEEAAAAAA!" "bbbbbbboooooooo!" Trying to knock Iggy out the house, ATM rocked him with a series of punches. But Ignatius fired back and the dudes were in a slug fest. RENEE The heavyweights are duking it out! Ignatius was thrown into the ropes, but made ATM suffer through a big boot. But that only wobbled the Greek grappler! RENEE Alexander is not going down in this very European battle. The former six man champion was launched into the ropes, then flapjacked into the air to be hit with a Very Spanish Uppercut! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" The pin cover only got a two, which lead Wicked Wes to get the tag. Wes wanted ATM to join the squad, but instead he got Blaine tagging himself in. "YYYYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAA!" The Lion roared and delivered a pair of spinning wheel kicks to Wes, then knocked The Living Daylights out of him with a crescent kick! RENEE A little payback from last show. Wes was beaten in and out of his corner, and even failed to land his own crescent kick. Blaine stayed on his South Carolina ass until Wes escaped to tag in Ignatius. After stepping over the ropes, Iggy was charged by Blaine. Instead of being the victim, Iggy was the agressor and smacked him dead in the face with the big boot! REJECT He caught Blaine dead on sight. It was Sammi who first noticed something wrong with her twin brother. Something beyond the effects of the big boot. SAMMI Blaine! Sammi was in the ring first, then the concussion spotter. Hearts stopped, voices clung in throats. Fear for the worst existed. RENEE I don't want to think... But that's what everyone thought as concussion spotters and paramedics surrounded Blaine. We couldn't even see the troubled superstar, but the mass of people and their worried faces tells us all. REJECT You may not want to think, Renee. But....man, this guy is hurt and he's hurt bad. Lisa Ann was out again. It was a replay from last week, with Blaine perhaps even worse off. Worse enough that he's loaded onto a stretcher. REJECT I got my ankle snapped, but to get your brain rocked? After a history of concussions? Where do you go from there? Blaine was picked up and carted towards the ropes....when a THRUST KICK from Alexander smashed into his head! TMW GALAXY RENEE Oh my god! What has Alexander done? Alexander ripped Blaine from his stretcher and made him suffer through further agony with a pair of piledrivers! SAMMI Stop! But Sammi was promptly shoved down by an irate Alexander! "ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!" As Blaine was shielded by the officials, Alexander turned to leave. Only his path was blocked by Ignatius and Wesley. And there Magnificence was cemented as they exchanged a Gang Gang hand signal! "BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" RENEE No way! Yes way, Renee! The other three members of The Shell Gang arrived on scene and exchanged Gang Gang hand signals to signify their dominance as we went to break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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