Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLYPRESENTED IN HD Party Like a Rockstar parties like a rockstar on television sets worldwide as the opening video hits, displaying the two hour (yeah right!) thrill ride that has made the OAOAST the premier stop for SportsEntertainment. Once it finishes we go to the logo.... We're taken into the arena, where Cole and Coach occupy space in front of the ring, straining to make their voices heard of the roar of the enthused audience behind them. COLE Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Tupelo, Mississippi for another edition of TSM's longest running sports and entertainment show, OAOAST HeldDOWN! Michael Cole, sitting at ringside for The Coach, and we still can't get over what we saw at Zero Hour. COACH Dang right, duke. Titles was unified, they were defended, and an OAOAST legend return to action, in what could be the pay per view of the year! COLE And if you missed it, then shame on you! But you can always order the encore at OAOAST.com all this week and next. Trust me, you won't want to miss the biggest event of the fall season. But for now let's start of HeldDOWN as we steamroll towards the Halloween Spectacular! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMMAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The natives of Tupelo give absolutely no respect to the World Champion as the entrance doors part, Megan Skye making her way out first and parading out her man Landon Maddix, limping ever so slightly but grinning from ear to ear nonetheless as he shows off his gleaming championship belt. Landon and Megan stroll to the ring, Landon picking out one sign in the crowd reading "LANDON FOR (SWF) PREZ!" To be fair, it's about the only pro-Landon placard in the bunch though, in amongst the clever likes of "MADDIX LOVES MAD DICKS!" All the signs in the world couldn't bother Landon though, walking on air to the ring. COLE What a night it was this past Sunday at Zero Hour. An incredible night of action, topped off with the Three Way Ladder Match over the World Heavyweight Championship. And it was this man, Landon Maddix, who survived it all. COACH He survived with his title, after being written off by so many. COLE Including a certain PRL fan I seem to remember. COACH I had divided loyalties. That's a little different. Half my loyalties were with this man, I knew he'd win, I just didn't want to say so to jeopardise my other 50% stock. COLE How noble of you. Maddix enters the ring and takes great glee in rubbing the fans' faces in the fact he's still the World Champion, parading around with his title. The "LAN - DON SUCKS" chants hit him early. But he can't hear them over the sound of his own self satisfaction. COLE Well, Landon clearly feeling pleased with himself tonight. Let's see what he's got to say for himself. MADDIX Okay, hands up who's tired of being wrong? Landon scans the thousands in the arena, looking for any outstretched hands. He counts three, maybe four, amongst a sea of downturned thumbs and upturned middle fingers. MADDIX Come on, be honest. Who's tired of being wrong? Who's tired of predicting the demise of La Cucaracha, buying a ticket to see me lose, switching on your TVs in the hope that this show'll kick off with one of your precious OAOAST heroes as the new World Heavyweight Champion... and seeing me, STILL your World Heavyweight Champion! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX That's what I thought. Now, come on, tell me. What more do I have to do? What more do I have to prove this year? How many more victories do I have to tot up before you people finally stop seeing me as some stop-gap Champion? See, I don't really want your approval. Or your applause. Honestly, I don't really need your respect either. But I damn sure deserve it. Put in front of me this Sunday was the biggest challenge a World Champion has had to face in recent memory. Two opponents, my belt hung 15 feet above the ring, steel ladders everywhere. And I came out of Zero Hour with my title all the same. You people can all say that I was 'lucky' or that I was seconds away from losing this belt. But the facts remain the same. I'm STILL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Now, I've heard that that a certain 'superstar' is here tonight, Zack Malibu... The crowd pop for that, which causes Landon to roll his eyes. MADDIX ...no doubt in a vain attempt to show he's still worthy of being in contention for my title. Well, Zack, before you even bother interrupting me, as usual, let me say one thing. You've had your sho... .:CUE: "Medal":. "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Interrupted as usual, Landon looks to the skies in frustration. And as he exchanges a few choice words with the big man upstairs, Landon is joined by the boss, AngleSault, who walks out onto HIS stage with a microphone already in hand. MADDIX I don't know who keeps doing this to me, but... ANGLESAULT Landon, Landon. Please. Don't get to ahead of yourself until you're heard what I have to say. See, I was hoping you'd come out here tonight. Because it just so happens, I've got a big announcement that you will be most interested in, seeing as you are 'still OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion', right? See, it involves that World Heavyweight Championship. It involves your role in November Reign. And it involves the main event, November 25th in Las Vegas, Nevada! Landon, from where I'm sitting, you've been riding your luck somewhat these past few months as World Champion. Well, what better place than Las Vegas to test that lucky streak of yours? MADDIX Lucky streak? I dispute that for a start. ANGLESAULT Well, fine. You'll have your chance to prove yourself when the chips are on the table in Las Vegas. Because, at November Reign, you will be defending that OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against... THA PUERTO RICAN... As the crowd give a mixed reaction, Landon holds his hands to his throat and makes a 'choking' motion in a not so subtle jab at PRL. ANGLESAULT ...and ZACK MALIBU... "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MADDIX Oh, for crying out loud! How many more times!? I've beaten them once, I've beaten them twi... ANGLESAULT Landon, I know you hate being interrupted. But, I wasn't done. See, it will be Landon Maddix versus Tha Puerto Rican versus Zack Malibu... versus "THE URBAN LEGEND" TODD CORTEZ!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Finally speechless, Landon looks over his shoulder to Megan, who's also open-mouthed and wide-eyed in shock. "Medal" hits again and AngleSault walks off, leaving the stunned World Champion to try and take in that announcement. COLE Wow! What a main-event, November Reign! Viva Las Vegas! Viva AngleSault! COACH Viva nothing, that's bull! Bull I tell ya! COLE What an announcement and while we all take that in, we're going to take a break. Up next... how about this, Zack Malibu, in action! Don't you go anywhere!COMMERCIAL BREAK! HeldDOWN~! Promo JOSH MATTHEWS Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and right now, it's my pleasure to welcome my guest at this time, THE FRANCHISE, Zack Malibu! The distant sound of fans screaming in the arena can be heard as Zack walks onto the interview stage, patting Josh on the back. MATTHEWS And Zack, how about that big news we just heard? November Reign, you've got one more shot at Landon Maddix and the World Title! MALIBU Well, what can I say? I thought Zero Hour would be my night but it just wasn't to be. AngleSault said it right, Maddix is on a lucky streak. After being *this close* so many times this year, I'm only more determined to take that title at November Reign. To be honest, I knew this was coming before tonight and I've been pla... "Now why does THAT not surprise me!?" Stomping onto the set, fuming with ANGER~, Landon Maddix locks eyes with Malibu causing Josh to sink into himself a little, microphone shaking between the two rivals. MADDIX What a surprise, The Golden Boy already knew he had another shot at the World Title? You know what Zack, you make me sick. You rely on your precious friendship with AngleSault to get what you want. What other explanation is there for you getting another shot, considering I've beat you every time we've met? MALIBU Actually Landon, me and AngleSault aren't 'friends'. We've got a past and a lot of mutual respect. But I've NEVER had to rely on hand-outs and favours. The fact is, you've never BEAT me. As memory serves, I beat you back at The Great Angle Bash. And if you consider the crap you pulled to take that World Title from around my waist with your Money In The Bank contract 'beating me' then you're clutching at straws. As far as the past couple of months go, you've been lucky. MADDIX Lucky, huh? MALIBU Yeah, lucky. And you sure as hell haven't beaten me. Sure, you walked out the winner both times but you never beat me. At AngleSlam, I had YOU beat and you won on a fluke. I knocked you out. Had you fallen anywhere other than on top of PRL, I'd be the World Champion right now. And this Sunday... hey, credit where it's due, you came out the winner again. I'm man enough to admit that. But you winning at Zero Hour, it wasn't because you pinned my shoulders to the mat or made me submit. It's because you climbed a ladder. Face it Landon, you've never actually BEAT me. Question is, can you? Landon doesn't answer, just glaring at Zack. MALIBU Tell you what, sit yourself down and find a monitor. I've got a match tonight and I'll be more than happy to show you the level I'm at. You might want to see just how you measure up. With a faint smile, Zack walks off leaving Landon still glaring. Once The Franchise is out of sight, the World Champion then resumes his hissy fit, marching off in the other direction with Megan struggling to keep up with him. MATTHEWS Uh... back to Sofa Central! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 COLE Folks, as you may have heard on our OAOAST.com podcasts after being bested in their tag title match at Zero Hour The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew immediately filed a formal protest against the decision with the OAOAST's competition committee. Some might say that's sour grapes, but some might say they're well within their rights due to Krista using a shears to gain the victory. COACH They ought to be praised as national sports icons for taking the “high road” and just protesting decision! If I was them, I'd be asking Mister Moneymaker for the name of a good lawyer so I could sue the OAOAST for my damn title belts! COLE Be that as it may, last week was a pretty terrible one for The Wrecking Crew, as not only did they miss out on their chance to become only the third team to hold both HI-YAH and OAOAST tag gold, but they lost a shocker to Rescue 911, thanks to a revealing, to say the least, bit of interference from Krista. At our non televised star-studded OAOAST event this past Tuesday in Richmond, The Wrecking Crew were set to go up against Rescue 911. However, Rescue 911 never made it into the building. Documentary footage from Molly Nerdly shows us why.... A 99 Ford Escort pulls into the arena parking lot, carefully maneuvering past stray arena employees on their early evening smoke brake. From the doors of the car emerge two men who would be most likely to inform these employees that its illegal to smoke within fifteen feet of arena grounds, Rescue 911. But they decide to let it slide and instead head towards the arena, discussing strategy for their upcoming match with The Wrecking Crew. Unfortunately, their confrontation with The Crew comes much sooner then they'd like, as the former HI-YAH tag team champions blindside them with lead pipes! Well Rico has a lead pipe, Lucius Soul has a pimp cane. There's nary a speck of resilience from the men in blue, as they're terrorized by the unrelenting assault. Everytime they hint towards an attempt to stand, they're kept down by brutal strikes. Once they realize they've beaten their rivals unconscious the Wrecking Crew slam their weapons down in triumph. RICO (stomping on Bosley) You wanna mess wit the Wrecking, mang? Don't you ever mess with the Wrecking Crew! I told you not to mess with The Wrecking Crew! SOUL The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew will swarm on any chump ass who dream they better then us. We will cut yo head back to dat fat meat! That's real! With one final kick to the battered tag team, the Wrecking Crew departs the scene before security can confront them. courtesy Singleton Productions a Division of The Enterprise. COLE Folks, earlier today The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew were reprimanded for their actions and fined six thousand dollars apiece. Our cameras caught up with Rescue 911 yesterday to get their take on the situation. Cut to an empty warehouse, the sounds being provided by the buzzing of cars outside, the light given by shards of moonlight that break through cracked windows. Detective Bosley and EMT Tim Cash are shown from the side in a medium closeup, with the light pasting soft shadows onto their faces. The hue of the image is blue, with a low contrast to push it to a bluish gray. The look of the shot is grainy, and uneven, as though someone sprinkled dust onto the screen. BOSLEY I'm from New York, I'm from fucking New York, and I don't just say that shit to say it, you know what I mean. I say that 'cause it means something. It means I'm the toughest son of a bitch on this roster, no question. No fucking question. From day one on the job in the NYPD, I seen things that could make any man breakdown and cry. All you seen it in is on movies like Training Day, Miami Vice, shows like COPS. All them little side characters in those movies, the random cops that get shot down, and die, those are were my friends, getting shot down around me. All of 'em. Shot down or gone crazy. I''m still here. And I ain't worried about The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew or what they did to me and Cash. To be honest witchya, I'm kinda glad they did it. Its been a while since I had someone try and whip my ass, I thought I was becoming a little too charming, too much a nice guy. Maybe I was losing my touch on these scumbags, ya know what I'm saying. I see that ain't the case, and I see I gotta lay some police brutality on The Wrecking Crew. Cash, ya with me? CASH Without a doubt. Wrecking Crew skirt the laws, and bend the rules all you like, because when the clock strikes midnight, the earth stops turning, and your day of reckoning lies before you, and all your sins lie behind you, justice will either cleanse you or destroy you. Either way, Rescue 911 will be there to execute extreme judgment. Count on that. FADE OUT COLE Very big threats from Rescue 911, but one has to wonder can they follow up on it? More over is The Wrecking Crew even paying attention to what Rescue 911 has to say given that they're embroiled in that tag title protest. Questions to be answered in the coming week. Please stay tuned!COMMERCIAL BREAK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 Returning from break, Michael Jackson's "Earth Song" is already in mid-stream, as Biff Atlas hit the ring during the commercial break, and has hijacked the microphone from Michael Buffer! BIFF OAOAST fans, it is I, your friend Biff Atlas, here with a public service announcement. People, look down at your feet. Those peanut shells might have come from this Earth, but do they belong on the floor? How about those 64 ounce Big Chugs sitting at your feet, or your plastic nacho containers? Now I can understand you not wanting to miss a moment of the action tonight, but people...there are trash receptacles all over this building! Please please PLEASE pick up after yourselves, because if we keep treating Mother Earth this way, who's going to pick up after us? There will be no one left people, and it will be the fault of all of you lazy n'er-do-wells, taking our precious planet for granted! COLE Of all things for a tree-hugger to do, he decides to get into wrestling? COACH Hey, you bite your tongue, Mikey Cole! If Biff Atlas can't get us to do our part to save the world, there'll be no world in which we can have wrestling, and then you'd be out of a job! COLE Coach, if there was no world, we wouldn't need jobs, because we'd be DEAD. COACH See! You're gonna kill me if you don't listen to him! COLE I'd like to do that anyways. COACH Say again? COLE Nothing. BIFF Now, I'd like to address the climate, but not the climate of this great planet, but that of the OAOAST. As the sun rises, so does a new day, and that will be the day of... CUE: "Getting Away With Murder". "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" COLE Biff Atlas has talked the talk...too much so, actually. Now let's see how he feels about the climate, because things are about to heat up quick! As the hit single by Papa Roach plays on, the former World Champion enters the arena to a tremendous ovation! Fresh off another disappointment with Landon Maddix eeking out a victory in the Triple Ladder Match just a few days ago, Zack Malibu heads to the ring looking to release some frustration on the former NRG member. COLE Look at Zack, Coach. Look at the eyes, how focused he is. That is a man who is not happy about Landon Maddix still being World Champion! COACH I thought it was because he didn't get a ring introduction because Biff has the mic! A mic which he uses to try and knock Malibu upside the head with as he enters the ring! Malibu is able to duck the shot and shoots for the legs, taking Biff to the canvas! Zack mounts the shoulders and starts wailing away with punches, as Biff does his best to shield his face from the blows! Malibu rolls off him but grabs him by the head, and as soon as he leads Biff up to his feet he hurls him through the ropes and out to the floor! COLE That's one way to get this match started! Zack goes after Biff, but Charles Robinson orders Zack to stay back, then calls for the bell. Flustered, Biff enters the ring, and charges at Malibu just as Zack does the same, and the two tie up! Using his power advantage, Biff forces Zack back to the corner, and Robinson calls for the break, which comes without incident. Biff motions for Zack to try again, and Malibu comes and ties up a second time, only to be shoved away! Biff reverts back to his NRG persona for a moment, stopping to flex and show off...and gets blasted with a hard slap! Biff reels from it, but as he turns his attention back to Zack, he's blasted with another, and then a hard chop that staggers him! Zack backs him to the ropes, but the Irish whip attempt is thwarted when Biff counters, sending Zack across the ring! Malibu rebounds, and Biff catches him with a military press, holding him high up over his head...until Zack slips out of his grasp! Zack grabs a rear waistlock and tries for a German suplex, but Biff breaks the hold and takes Zack over with a fireman's carry! Zack gets up quickly, but catches a boot to the stomach from Atlas, and then gets dropped to the mat again, this time thanks to a suplex from the Enviromental Assassin! COLE Atlas is showing what he can do with the size and power advantage, as he's been able to counteract a lot of Malibu's offense and toss him around a bit in the early going! Biff retrieves Malibu from the canvas, but his brash attitude leaves him prone to mistakes, and that's why he's caught with a jawbreaker from the Modern Day Warrior! Atlas stumbles back, while Malibu races to the ropes, and comes off with a diving clothesline that takes Mother Nature's Favorite Son off his feet! Malibu brings Biff up, and again unloads with the hard slaps, snapping Biff's head from one side to the other with every blow...but the coup de grace discus clothesline is ducked, and Biff scoops Zack off his feet and throws him into the corner! A series of back elbows follows, and a shoulderblock knocks the wind out of Zack before he's taken out of the corner and whipped so hard to the other side that he falls flat on his face after smashing into the turnbuckles! Biff nods knowingly at the crowd, drawing their ire, and then follows up with a running clothesline that takes a barely recovered Malibu down once again! COACH The King of the Clothesline doin' what he does best, and Malibu is DOWN, baby! Biff drags Zack up and hoists him up onto his shoulders, putting the pressure on with a Canadian Backbreaker! It's short-lived, however, as Malibu squirms until he's able to slide down the back of Biff Atlas, and takes him over with a backslide! ONE! T-KICKOUT! The two competitors get up to their feet, with Malibu kicking Biff in the ribs...or at least that was the plan until his foot got caught! Biff throws the leg down and tries a short clothesline, but Malibu ducks and hooks his arm around Biff's extended arm while going around him, then tossing him overhead with a release Half Nelson German Suplex! COLE He came right down on the back of his head! Malibu takes a few breaths before yanking Biff off the canvas and sending him to the corner, following up with a diving corner splash that splatters the hula skirt wearing superstar against the turnbuckles! Zack backs up, pulling Biff out of the corner by the wrist and shooting him across to the far side, and follows that up with a ZACK ATTACK II~!, or NOT, as Biff sidesteps it at the last second...but Zack lands with his feet on the middle rope, and springs backwards...but gets caught on Biff's shoulders! Biff walks to the center of the ring, looking for the space to deliver An Inconvienient Truth to Malibu, but Zack slips out of his grasp and cracks him on the jaw with SCHOOL'S OUT as he turns to him! Biff goes down, and Zack follows him to the canvas, making sure his shoulders are on the mat as he covers him! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE Quick and decisive, and Zack Malibu shines here tonight on HeldDOWN~! "Getting Away With Murder" is cued up for Malibu's victory celebration, as the popular superstar has his hand raised by Lil' Naitch. Malibu circles the ring, paying respect to his legion of fans as they stand on their feet cheering the former World Champion and his victory here tonight. COLE It wasn't meant to be for Biff Atlas tonight, and it may not be long before Landon Maddix's time is up. Zack Malibu is as charged and focused as ever, and that is a man who is not going to rest until the World Championship is back around his waist! 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Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 This Past Sunday ZERO HOUR Courtesy: OAOAST Home EntertainmentWith the crowd behind her, Melody weakly crawls to her corner… “YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …and makes the tag, but Charles Robinson is distracted by Logan‘s cry for help. Of course it’s all a ruse to prevent the referee from seeing the tag. As the referee tends to Logan, Holly stuns fans worldwide by DDT’ing Melody! * COLLECTIVE GASP * COLE What the hell?! No! * CLIP * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Disgusted by the shocking turn of events, fans bombard the ring with debris as Holly-Wood assaults Melody. COLE Holly, you were supposed to be her friend! How could you!? PERCUSSION DDT leaves Melody flat on her stomach. Then Holly comes face to face with her estranged husband Logan Mann…and the two HUG! COACH What a Kodak moment, Cole. Husband and wife together again. Randy Savage and Elizabeth got nothing on Lolly. I’m starting to tear up. COLE I want to throw up. A 4 on 1 beat down ensues until LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO make the save with the aid of a pitchfork and rhinestone belt. Words are exchanged but not much else as OAOAST officials do an excellent job defusing the situation, escorting the Heavenly Rockers backstage. We cut to Michael Cole at Sofa Central, joined via satellite by the Heavenly Rockers inside their Sin City recording studio. COLE Thanks for staying with us, ladies and gentlemen. You’ve seen the footage, now let’s hear from the perpetrators in Sunday night’s heinous assault, as the Heavenly Rockers, Colonel Abdullah Nerdly and yes, Holly-Wood have been kind enough to appear on the program, although I can‘t say I‘m too thrilled to about it. LOGAN :asshole2: ABDULLAH Is that how you welcome guests, by insulting them? How can the country built on freedom of speech and expression claim such a thing when it slams those with differing viewpoints? COLE What occurred Sunday night was no freedom of expression, sir. It was borderline criminal assault! ABULLAH :firedevil: LOGAN Calm down, Colonel. Let me handle this. Michael Cole, instead of editorializing you ought to be on your hands and knees thanking us for granting this world exclusive. The Today show, Oprah, Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters all flooded our HQ looking to land the hottest interview in town. Everybody wants to hear from the Heavenly Rockers. They want to know how Holly could turn her back like that on Melody, the broad who looks up to my wife the same way millions of young girls do her. It’s no secret the most honest people on earth are rock stars and our friends in the adult entertainment industry. Well today’s your lucky day, because it just so happens we‘re not only rock stars... COACH Oh, my God! You and Holly have a sex tape?! LOGAN And not just with each other either. COACH HOLLY LOGAN As I was saying, the Heavenly Rockers aren’t only rock stars; they’re the greatest rock ’n’ wrestling band of all-time! SYNTH :headbang: LOGAN So without further ado, back by popular demand, the original trio of bad boys and nasty girl together again. The Angel of Death who’ll tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the brutally honest truth…my wife Holly-Wood! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Lolly share a sloppy wet kiss, to the delight of Synth. HOLLY The bitch is back and raising more hell than ever! Rather than ask why, which is so cliché, people should be saying about time. It’s about time Melody realized her role in wrestling, and that’s she has none. Melody, here’s a free piece of advice, hon: grow up! Seriously, is it really that big of a shock I decided to spike Melody on her head? Anybody who’s spent 5 minutes with her knows she’ll drive you insane with her geeky behavior. I don’t care about the newest cheats you learned watching that awful G4 channel. I don’t want to camp out in front of a GameStop to buy a game featuring a phony solider at 12 midnight. The one thing that kept me sane was the surprise we had in store for her at Zero Hour. COLE So it was a set-up? HOLLY Duh, stupid! From the beginning. Once we got rid of the Lone Star Gunslingers I knew I could wrap Melody around my little finger. A simple request and she’d be jumping through flaming hoops for me. Worked like a charm. Putting to use my previous skills as a publicist, I leaked word of a pending divorce from Logan and everybody bought it. Melody even tried to hook me up with one of her brothers. Of course I sent word to Logan and now the Sk8ter Boiz are on the disable list along with the Gunslingers. LOGAN COLE This was pre-mediated! LOGAN And just like Phil Spector, we got away with it! COLE Before we let you go, what about Los Diablos de Fuego? SYNTH What about them homies? COLE Do you accept their challenge or not? LOGAN You mean that wasn’t some fan boy posting BS online? Los Diablos really want a shot at us? ABDULLAH Please, the Heavenly Rockers have their sights on bigger and better things, namely the One & Only World tag team championship. However, if Los Diablos wish to engage in athletic competition, perhaps my dearest sister Melody can lend them her copy of the latest OAOAST video game because that’s the closest they’ll come. Praise Abdullah and the Heavenly Rockers!*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you The satellite feed ends as The Love Doctors head to the squared circle. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the Windy City, at a total combine weight of 436 pounds, MAX ANDERSON and STEVEN PIGLEY…THE LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE DOCTOORRRRSSSS!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Anderson and Pigley send the ladies into a frenzy by removing their lab coats. One overzealous female admirer jumps the railing and pals around with Doctors of Love until she’s pounced on by security and inexplicably the Kansas City Chiefs mascot. COLE The Heavenly Rockers might have taken Los Diablos de Fuego’s challenge lightheartedly, but I assure you Moracca and Mariachi are dead serious about it. Anyway, Coach, our next match has The Love Doctors facing the Beverly Hills Blonds. COACH Yeah, it seems as though the Docs are having a hard time getting over their loss to Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright at Zero Hour and asked for a rematch, which sources inside the OAOAST say Teddy and CW were up for but they had prior engagements to attend. COLE That’s their story and they’re sticking to it, right? COACH Like they’d lie.Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime The red carpet is rolled out and the Blonds mockingly wave to the crowd, pretending the boos are really cheers. Of course this is all filmed by Molly Nerdly. BUFFER And their opponents, now arriving on the red carpet with MOLLY NERDLY, represent the Enterprise...from Beverly Hills 90210, total combine weight 460 pounds… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDESSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH On behalf of everyone in the OAOAST, congratulations to Molly for pulling a George Jefferson by moving on up the totem poll. I understand she’s now the first assistant director for all Beverly Hills Blonds projects. COLE I wonder who she had to sleep with for that promotion. COACH * DINGDINGDING * Dr. Steven Pigley shows a ton of fire, going right after Simon Singleton at the sound of the bell, but Simon takes a rain check and bails to the floor where Molly documents the conversation between him and Ned. Whatever the Handsome Hustler said has Simon ready to go, as he grabs a side headlock out of a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Pigley shoves him off to the ropes and a CRISS-CROSS ensues. Singleton is the first to blink, dropping down before going up for a leapfrog…but Dr. Steven puts on the brakes and The Love Doctors nail Simon with THE LOVEMATIC GRAMPA! ONE… KICKOUT! Singleton staggers to his feet and is placed in a side headlock. The hold is reapplied following a tag, but Simon sends Dr. Max in for the ride…only to be brought down in a SUNSET FLIP! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Simon rakes the eyes and whips Anderson hard to the buckle, but the Doctor of Love leaps onto the middle rope and back at him with a reverse cross body! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! The Blonds tag and Ned comes in swinging, his brawling ability too much for the technically gifted high flying MD to combat. Irish whip, but Max ducks a back elbow and counters Blanchard’s Thesz Press with the famed ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER!! COLE Everybody in the company has one, but I don’t think anyone has it perfected quite like Max Anderson, MD. ONE… TWO… THREE-- NO!! Simon breaks up the pin and taunts the crowd, pointing to his head while Molly captures the moment on video. “BOO!” Until Simon is spun around and floored! “YEAH!” COLE There’s a scene you won’t see in the Beverly Hills Blonds cut of the match. COACH Because the scene’s irrelevant to the story. Blanchard is whipped in and over with a double backdrop, then rammed into Dr. Steven‘s boot. The tag is made and Pigley connects on a big time LARIAT! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Placed in a headlock Ned is rapidly punched in the face. He fires Steven into the corner but the doctor bounces out and barrels through him with a shoulder tackle! Fortunately for the Blonds, Ned lands near their corner and is able to tag out. The Love Doctors decide to do the same and the new legal men, Simon Singleton and Max Anderson, lockup. Simon drives the knee into the gut and clubs Max across the neck. The sound of fleshing meeting flesh echoes throughout the arena as Simon chops Max against the ropes. With a handful of hair in his possession, Simon attempts a hip toss, but Max counters with a monkey flip and dropkick! Singleton reverses the ensuing Irish whip and snaps Anderson over with a swinging neck breaker after a knee to the back courtesy of Ned Blanchard. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT. COLE Fans, we have to take a commercial break. But the tape machines are rolling. Should the match end while we’re away we’ll replay the conclusion after this time out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 HeldDOWN~! The Match Continues… We return to the sight of Ned Blanchard stomping a mud hole in Max Anderson. He brings the doctor out of the corner and plants him in the center of the ring with a vertical suplex. The cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT. Blanchard smashes Anderson face-first into Simon’s boots. Singleton accepts the tag and the Blonds deliver a double back elbow to the heart of Dr. Max. Leaping knee drop finds its mark and Simon covers. ONE… TWO… Save by Dr. Steven! The Blonds put the boots to Anderson while referee Nick Patrick deals with Steven. Not to mention the illegal switch that occurs as well. As the announcers bicker over whether a second referee is needed for tag bouts, apparently the new talking point for all Australian rule matches, the Handsome Hustler executes a flawless snap mare and spikes the point of the elbow into Anderson’s sternum! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT with semi-authority, which doesn’t go unnoticed by the Blonds. Sensing Anderson may have developed a second wind, the Blonds look to score with a high-impact maneuver. Ned lifts Max for a suplex as Simon climbs to the top, but Max floats over and pushes the Handsome Hustler into Simon, causing the strawberry blond to CROTCH HIMSELF ON THE BUCKLE! SIMON Ned shoots back at Max and into a SLEEPER HOLD! COLE How about that? It was a sleeper that beat The Love Doctors at Zero Hour and it very well could be a sleeper that picks up the win for them tonight. COACH The only difference is Ned won’t quit. Jawbreaker frees Ned from Max’s clutches, but takes a lot out of both men. When it appears The Love Doctors are close to making the tag Simon enters the ring, which immediately grabs the eye of Nick Patrick. “YEAH!” A cheer goes up as the tag is made, but it’s disallowed because the referee didn’t see it. “BOO!” COLE Oh, come on! COACH (laughs) Simon Singleton, smarter than your average blond. While Steven receives an explanation from the referee, the Blonds perform their patent DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK! Another illegal switch is made and so is the cover. ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! The pin is broken up by Steven Pigley, still steaming over the blown call moments ago. Scoop slam on its way, but Max slips out over the top and nails Simon with a FLATLINER! COLE This may be the break Max needs to make the tag. He desperately needs to tag in the fresh man. Figuring it worked so well the first time, Ned distracts the ref while the Docs tag, causing Dr. Steven and fans alike to fume with rage when the exchange is overruled. Meanwhile, the Blonds try to capitalize with a double suplex, but having had enough Steven attacks them from behind. COACH This guy has no regard for the rules, Cole. That’s a flagrant violation right there. All 4 men brawl inside while the referee desperately attempts to restore order. The Blonds quell the uprising with a pair of thumb to the eyes, then look to whip Max and Steven into each other, but the Docs reverse and the Blonds collide! COACH Who are the legal men? COLE Simon and Max I think. The Love Doctors knock Ned out to the floor with a double dropkick and drop a MORPHINE BOMB on Simon! Dr. Steven covers! COACH He‘s not the legal man, Cole! And Molly knows that as well, as she hops on the apron to protest, while continuing to film of course. COLE Not this crap again! We saw Mackenzie DeCenzo pull that stunt at Zero Hour. COACH Yeah, and it worked. Just like it’s going to work now. Besides, she’s arguing a valid point. How in the hell could the referee not know who the legal man is? COLE You didn’t know. COACH Because I’m too busy carrying your ass to a hearable broadcast. Molly soon finds herself up close and personal with Dr. Steven Pigley. Nick Patrick does his part to keep the peace, but Ned Blanchard escalates the violence, tossing Steven outside. But he, too, goes tumbling over the top courtesy of a clothesline from Dr. Max, who is immediately rolled up by Simon! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Steven reverses! ONE… TWO… Simon kicks Dr. Anderson forward into the direction of Molly, who shoots from her POV as she CLOCKS MAX WITH THE SICLOPSE CAMERA! COACH That shot alone just won her a cinematography award at next year’s Oscars. School boy! ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * By the time Steven breaks up the count it’s too late, as Simon rolls off and celebrates with Ned and Molly outside. BUFFER Here are your winners… THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDESSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE I can’t believe it. The Love Doctors got jobbed. COACH Maybe they’ll finally get the hint and keep asking for matches against The Enterprise. COLE I highly doubt that. The Love Doctors want to face the best competition in the world and everybody knows that’s in the OAOAST. Right now they’re earning their Ph.D. in the school of hard knocks. Folks, we'll see you next week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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