OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 8/23/07

[Chanel #99]

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY


PRESENTED IN HD

Weeks later and Party Like a Rockstar is still the worst song of the year. But its like I told KC, that song comes on at the club and them white girls just be throwing shit the fuck up. So for that, I'd like to thank the shop boys, and all southern rappers for understanding what's truly important in this life. Not even being sarcastic.  Those girls don't want dance to Cam raping about fucking his aunt when he was 14, or Kanye talkin about some little kids getting they're armed chopped off for a diamond. These girls wanna party like a rockstar and for that Patty O'Green is eternally grateful.



FEMALE VOICE OVER
And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, and The OAOAST it is time for HeldDOWN!

We skip right to the announce team who are surrounded by inebriated Bostonians.

COACH
Tonight's show sucks mad dick.

COLE
He's kidding of course. Folks, welcome to the only show where you'll find lesbian celebrity chefs, stripping doctors, gay luchadores dressed as the devil, and ex-bodybuilders turned environmentalists under one roof. However, that one roof isn't this roof, because none of those people are here tonight! But who is here is Team Heyross looking to get back into the tag title hunt. Reject is in action as well, gearing up for his battle with Alfdogg at Angleslam. We'll also hear from The Heavenly Rockers as well as The Sk8r Boiz, and I know Zack has something to say as well....

The opening bass riff of "Getting Away With Murder" starts playing. The crowd EXPLODES loudly as HeldDOWN~! gets started with the Franchise of the OAOAST!

COLE
What a way to start HeldDOWN~! With the Franchise of the OAOAST!

I just said that.

COLE
Sorry.

As "Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach continues playing, the entrance doors slide open, and Zack Malibu himself comes out. The crowd manages to get even LOUDER. A shower of golden pyro appears above Malibu, but Malibu steps through it and puts his hands on his hips, soaking in the response. White pyro shoots off both sides of the entrance ramp, and then Zack begins walking to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way.

MICHAEL BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

COLE
We are just three days away from the biggest main event in AngleSlam history, and THAT man right there, is an integral part of that match! Zack Malibu will be going for his FOURTH OAOAST World Heavyweight Title this Sunday, taking on the current champion, Landon Maddix, AND "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican!

COACH
But Zack has alot against him on Sunday! He's got TWO men gunning for him. Not to mention the "AngleSlam Curse"!

COLE
What!? Oh come on, Coach. That's ridiculous! There's no such thing as curses!

COACH
Well Zack has never won at AngleSlam, so he has history against him too!

COLE
Well, I'm sure Zack is hoping to make history this Sunday, winning his fourth OAOAST World Title, the first man to ever win the title four times!

Zack high fives some fans at ringside, and then climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. Malibu raises his hands in the air to acknowledge the fans, and then calls for a microphone. Michael Buffer hands him a microphone as the crowd continues cheering.

COLE
Boston, Massachusetts happy to see Zack Malibu live here tonight! Beantown is just one of MANY cities that love Zack Malibu! And I'm sure New York City won't be any different this Sunday!

COACH
I guess the only thing that can unite Yankee and Red Sox fans is their love of Zack Malibu then, huh?

COLE
Ha! I guess you're right!

Zack Malibu calls for the crowd to quiet down. "Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach dies down.

"MAL-I-BU!"
"MAL-I-BU!"
"MAL-I-BU!"
"MAL-I-BU!"

ZACK MALIBU
We are now only 72 hours away from one of the biggest matches of my entire life! On Sunday night, I will be stepping into the ring against two of the most talented superstars in the One And Only AngleSault Thread to compete for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, the belt I have held three times before. And even though the odds might be against me, that won't stop me. I've had the deck stacked against me before, and guess what? PRL, Landon, I'VE COME OUT ON TOP!

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

COLE
He's right. Zack Malibu is no stranger to pressure.

COACH
That doesn't mean he's ready for this Sunday!

MALIBU
Landon Maddix pulled a fast one on all of us about a month ago. But everyone ends up getting what they deserved. And this Sunday night, Landon, you will get what you deserve after I beat you and take back what's mine! And as for Tha Puerto Rican, this Sunday will be the first time me and him have ever been in the squared circle together. I'm sure he wants to win this match as badly as myself or Landon, but PRL, this Sunday night will NOT be your night! You will NOT win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title this Sunday! Oh no. This Sunday night, you AND Landon will be staring at the ceiling after I beat both of you to become Champion for a FOURTH time!

The crowd cheers again.

COLE
Zack sounds ready.

COACH
Thus it'll be even sweeter when he loses this Sunday!

COLE
Oh will you stop?

Zack paces back and forth in the ring, getting the crowd fired up. A "ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!" chant starts up again. Zack cracks a smile before he continues speaking.

ZACK
Now then, I--

LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX
Excuse me... excuse ME! I'm sorry, but I have had just about enough!

Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix walks out from the entrance doors! He continues to march to the ring with the microphone in his hand, picking up the abuse being hurled from the crowd perfectly.

MADDIX
Incase all of you people have forgotten, I am the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! I am the standard bearer! I am the kingpin! The top of the food chain! Granted, I haven't been there for that long. But still long enough not to be taken for granted by everybody. You see, all I hear, from left and from right are the sob-stories and the unfulfilled dreams. Zack Malibu is going to AngleSlam to get his belt back. Tha Puerto Rican is going to AngleSlam to become champion for the first time. Now, lo and behold, Todd Cortez has jumped to the front of the queue somehow and let's not even delve into the heart-warming tabloid story of triumph over adversity being thrown around about him because quite frankly, this town is making me nauseous enough already!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

By now, Landon has entered the ring. Zack is happy to stand back, arms folded as he listens to Landon sound off.

MADDIX
Let me remind you once again, I am your OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Me! My belt, my story, my turn in the spotlight! And I am sick to the back teeth of my precious air-time being eaten into by wave after wave of new challengers to my belt, talking about their right to this belt. Until one of those people pins my shoulders to the canvas for a 3 count, my opinion is the only one that matters around here!

ZACK
Didn't Todd do that already?

As the crowd let out their best three-camera sitcom 'WHOOOOOOO', Landon's head whips around towards Zack.

MADDIX
Did listening to Kelly Clarkson for so long rot your brain, or did you just mishear me?

COACH
SERVED! SO SERVED!

COLE
What does everybody have against her anyway?

MADDIX
My opinion is the only opinion that matters. In my opinion, pinning the World Heavyweight Champion in a tag team match counts for nought. In my opinion, Todd Cortez isn't in my league. And in my opinion, he's ruined any chance of glory in the OAOAST by disassociating himself with me, because last week The Urban Legend was exposed as the myth he really is!

ZACK
That's cute.

MADDIX
I thought so.

ZACK
You know what, you're right. You are the World Champion and the attention should be on you. So, seeing as you're out here, there's something I want to say to you, face to face, man to man, one on one. And that is...

"THA PUERTO RICAN IS BETTER THAN THE TWO OF YOU COMBINED!"

Now coming out from the entrance doors is "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! Dressed in his corporate suit and tie and carrying his black spray-painted briefcase with his Golden Contract inside, The Corporate Champ smiles an evil smile as he looks on at Zack and Landon, a microphone in his left hand.

"THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN
Would you two jabronies PLEASE SHUT UP for a second! The millions and millions of Lightning Bolts are tired of hearing you two run your mouths! They want to hear their hero, their idol, their ROLE MODEL talk. So quit your squballing and let The Corporate Champ speak!

COLE
I think Tha Puerto Rican speaks alot more than Zack and Landon COMBINED!

COACH
SHHHH! You heard the man!

Tha Puerto Rican walks down the entrance ramp as the crowd boos loudly. Zack and Maddix keep their eyes locked on The Corporate Champ the whole time.

PRL
This Sunday, at AngleSlam, Tha Puerto Rican is going to do what he's doing right now. And that is walk down the Corporate Ramp. Climb the Corporate Ring Steps. Enter the Corporate Ring, and then proceed to whip YOUR candy ass (points to Zack) and YOUR candy ass (points to Landon) all over Madison Square Garden! Time and time again, I have been SCREWED out of becoming World Champion, but this Sunday, THIS SUNDAY, I shall be screwed NO MORE! Because FINALLY...FINALLY...FINALLY, Tha Puerto Rican will become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion!

The crowd boos loudly, although there are some cheers scattered here and there. Landon and Zack continue looking on.

PRL
And Zack, Landon, I want to wish you two...good luck. Cuz you're gonna need it. After I put my size 10 boot right up BOTH YOUR ASSES this Sunday night! Because whether I beat Zack Malibu, or whether it is Landon Maddix that I beat, the fact of the matter is that on Sunday night, August 26, 2007, Tha Puerto Rican, The P.R. Menace, the Corporate Champ, the most electrifying man in professional wrestling, will finally, after 10 LONG years will become World Heavyweight Champion! It's been a LONG TIME COMING, but this Sunday, the wait will be over! And I know that all of you can't wait for that, right?

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

PRL
Bah! I don't need you! After this Sunday, I will have the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around my waist, and that's all I'll ever need...well, that and Lindsay! Definitely Lindsay!

LANDON MADDIX
Are you done?

PRL
Yes. Why?

MADDIX
Because if I had to listen to anymore of your crap, I was going to puke!

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"/"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

MADDIX
Seriously, PRL, you're terrific on the microphone, I'll give you that much. But in the ring, dude, you can't cut it AT ALL! I mean, you can't do ANYTHING right! Your Sharpshooter is horrific! Your Rock Bottom stinks! Even your People's Elbow SUCKS! And HOW DO YOU MESS UP THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW!?

THA PUERTO RICAN
That's the IntenseZone Elbow to you, bub, and don't you forget it!

MADDIX
Okay. I'm sorry. Your IntenseZone Elbow SUCKS!

PRL
You want to talk about sucks? You can't do anything right either! I can out wrestle you any day of the week, Maddix! And I'll prove it to you this Sunday!

MADDIX
Okay, seriously, can you stop talking, P.R.? Your voice is giving me a headache! P.R., I've got a question for you: did you ever go through puberty? Or are you just an overgrown 11-year-old?

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

PRL
Overgrown 11-year-old? Let me tell you something you little booger! I am MORE of a man than you'll EVER be!

MADDIX
You sure don't sound like one!

PRL
I can't help what my voice sounds like! Besides, I more than make up for it in the sack!

MADDIX
That's not what Lindsay says.

PRL
YOU LITTLE--

MADDIX
Calm down! Calm down! Don't go throwing a temper tantrum on me now, P.R.! Save all your energy for Sunday. Trust me, on Sunday, I'll be more than willing to kick your candy ass all over the ring! But for now--

PRL
But now nothing! Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, I have your number and you know it! You are scared of Tha Puerto Rican! You are TERRIFIED of Tha Puerto Rican! You're practically peeing in your tights right now! But at AngleSlam, Landon, there's going to be nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, because Tha Puerto Rican will be cashing in his Golden Contract, and will be storming in, charging like a Bull, and beating you to win the OAOAST World Title!

MADDIX
Let me tell you what you can do with that Golden Contract, P.R.

PRL
No...

MADDIX
You can take that Golden Contract.

PRL
No...

MADDIX
Shine it up real nice...

PRL
Stop!

MADDIX
Turn that sumbitch sideways...

PRL
STOP!

MADDIX
AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY AS--

PRL
STOP! STOP! STOP! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN! YOU WILL NOT DO THAT! NOBODY IMITATES THE ROCK EXCEPT ME!...I MEAN--J--Ju--SHUT UP LANDON!

MADDIX
Ha. It's SO easy pissing you off! I love it!

PRL
You won't love it when I lay the smackdown on your candy ass at AngleSlam!

MADDIX
Oh big talk! That's something new coming from you! Tell me, P.R., how many times have you won the World Heavyweight Title? Oh that's right, ZERO.

PRL is not amused.

MADDIX
But how many times have you been in World Title matches? What is it? 6? 7? 10? 20? 50? 100? 2,000? Stop me when I'm in the right range. You've choked in EVERY SINGLE World Title Match you've ever been in! EVERY ONE. What makes you think that this Sunday will be any different?

PRL
I know in my heart that Sunday night in MY night! And there's nothing you or Zack can do to stop me!

MADDIX
I am gonna stop you this Sunday, P.R. You can't accept that, but it's the truth, Ruth!

PRL
STOP STEALING MY STUFF!

ZACK
Well, it looks like Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass are having a little argument, so I'm just gonna go ahead and mosey on over here!

PRL
You're Tweedle Dumbasser, Zack.

MADDIX
That doesn't even make any sense, P.R.!

PRL
Yes it does!

MADDIX
No it doesn't.

PRL
Yes it does.

MADDIX
No it doesn't!

PRL
YES IT DOES!

MADDIX
NO IT DOESN'T!

PRL
NO IT DOESN'T!

MADDIX
YES IT DOES!

PRL
YES! I GOT YOU! WOO-HOO!

MADDIX
DAMNIT!

PRL does a little dance, while Zack just rolls his eyes.

MADDIX
Okay. Okay! Enough kiddy games! We're all men here! And as men, we fight to solve our differences! And this Sunday, it's going to be one HELL of a fight! We will bring the house down in Madison Square Garden, and I will show everyone just how much of a warrior I am!

THA PUERTO RICAN
A warrior? I was thinking more along the lines of what a COWARD you are!

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

MADDIX
A what?

THA PUERTO RICAN
You heard me. A coward! C-O-W-A-R-D! I think you're a coward. Zack thinks you're a coward. The crowd thinks you're a coward. Everyone thinks you're a coward, Landon!

MADDIX
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I ain't no coward! I am a warrior!

PRL
You're a coward.

MADDIX
No, I'm a warrior.

PRL
You're a coward.

MADDIX
I'm a warrior!

PRL
Coward!

MADDIX
Warrior!

PRL
Coward!

MADDIX
Warrior!

PRL
COWARD!

MADDIX
WARRIOR!

PRL
COWARD!

MADDIX
WARRIOR!

PRL
WARRIOR!

MADDIX
COWARD! DAMN!

PRL
I WIN AGAIN!

COLE
Oh please!

PRL
Okay! Let's get serious! Before I go, I have something to say! Zack Malibu!

PRL turns his attention to Zack. The crowd pays attention to this. Zack and PR are face-to-face.

PRL
Zack, this Sunday, I will face you in the ring for the first time ever! And any normal man would be scared of this prospect. Any normal man would be frightened because any normal man would be intimidated, any normal man would be hesitant to step into the ring against the legendary Zack Malibu. Any normal man would be scared to step into the ring to face the Franchise, the face of the OAOAST. The man, the myth, the legend, the one and only Zack Malibu! Well Zack, I'm no normal man, and I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANY OF THAT! I don't care what you've done in the past! I don't care about your accomplishments, or about how much you mean to the OAOAST! This Sunday night, you are just another opponent to me. You are just another obstacle I will have to climb! No different from any other jabroni in the OAOAST! You don't mean a thing to me Zack! If I hurt you, so what? I don't care! Just makes it easier for me to win the World Title! I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU ZACK MALIBU! And this Sunday, I will prove it!

The crowd boos. Zack eyes one of his AngleSlam opponents with hate in his eyes. PRL turns his attention to Landon.

PRL
And as for you, Champ! You're not even worthy enough for me to remember your name. You're nothing to me either! As far as I'm concerned, you're just the guy keeping MY belt warm! Well this Sunday night, I am taking the belt with me! And there's not a damn thing you can do about it! And THAT, my friend, is the truth, Ruth!

MADDIX
Hey, P.R., I've got a question: do you wear your fake teeth when you go to bed, or do you keep them in a glass of water next to you? What? Tell me! I'm dying to know!

PRL
Oh that is it! I've had it just up to here with you, Landon!

MADDIX
I thought you said I wasn't good enough to remember my name!

PRL
You aren't!

MADDIX
But you just said my name!

PRL
I didn't, Landon!

MADDIX
There! You just said it again!

PRL
You--Son of a--GAH! YOU SUCK!

MADDIX
No you suck!

PRL
No you suck!

MADDIX
No you!

PRL
You!

MADDIX
You!

PRL
You!

MADDIX
You!

PRL
You!

MADDIX
You!

PRL
You!

MADDIX
You!

MALIBU
KNOW YOUR ROLES, AND SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!

The crowd EXPLODES! PR and Landon are shocked at Zack's use of The Rock's catchphrase, PR especially! Both men stop in their tracks and look at Zack.

COLE
Thank you, Zack!

Now with his turn to speak, Malibu eyes both of his AngleSlam opponents, while the crowd shows their support for the popular superstar by chanting his name, delaying his speech.

"ZACK!"
"ZACK!"
"ZACK!"

Maddix isn't happy about the biased crowd reaction, and he lets the crowd know by turning to them and chastising them. Tha Puerto Rican appears equally agitated by it, but he stands back, allowing the World Champion to make an ass of himself. Maddix goes so far as to shove PRL by the shoulder and ask if he's going to put up with that, but PRL shoves him back, causing a commotion between the two. Tensions flare, but Malibu of all people is the one to break them up.

MALIBU
THIS...this doesn't bode well for you guys come Sunday! Look at the two of you, ready to act on impulse and throw down at a moment's notice...that's good. But think about it...irrational decisions can lead to unfortunate consequences. Think about it. You guys get into it right now, and you're just making it easier for me. Is that how you want it, Landon? Or you, PRL? A title shot in the world's most famous arena, and you want to hand it to me on a sliver platter? Go right ahead, I won't complain! You guys wanna brawl, fistfight, claw, scratch, kick each other's asses, go for it, I'll wait for you to finish.

Malibu backs up, motioning for Landon and Tha Puerto Rican to continue their squabble, but neither do.

MALIBU
Let me tell the two of you something, right now. The three of us have nothing in common. The three of us have no ties to each other other other than one thing. That this Sunday, the three of us are going to put on the most intense battle in OAOAST history. The three of us all have one goal...to capture...or in your case, Landon, retain, THAT.

Malibu points to the World Title slung over Landon's shoulder, causing the cocky champion to pat the belt and nod his head.

MALIBU
That's what it's all about. I don't care about either of you, I just care about THAT. That belt means everything to this company. That belt is what everyone in that locker room is striving to get at, and this Sunday, we three are going to go balls to the wall, we're going to fight to the finish, we're going to bust out whatever cliche fits the situation but the bottom line is that this Sunday we are going to WAR! You can talk all you want about the "AngleSlam Curse". You guys can map out a strategy and make it so I don't have a chance in hell of winning. You can double up on me, call out the Lightning Crew, pay off someone to jump me, have me maimed in front of the entire New York population, but you know, deep down, that it won't stop me. That I'll keep coming. I'll get up every time I'm knocked down. Those who have cast a shadow of doubt over what's going to happen in Madison Square Garden have NO IDEA what that does to me. It's my fuel. It's my energy. It's my motivation. I am NOT losing this time. I'm at my absolute best when my back is against the wall. Whether it's you, Landon, or you, PRL. Whether it's the both of you at the same time...I'm ready. I'm not going down this time. Maddix, you screwed me, and you screwed Tha Puerto Rican, just to get that belt around your waist. You're an opportunistic sonuvabitch, but you haven't proven that you deserve to have that belt yet. PRL, you've waited a long time for this. You got screwed too, but in your case maybe karma was coming back to bite you on the ass, because you've cut corners 1000 times over since the moment you debuted here. The both of you best bring your A-game. The both of you better prepare for the fight of your life.

MADDIX
Well, now that that's out of the way--

PRL & ZACK
SHUT UP!

MADDIX
You both got to give your final thoughts, now it's my turn!

PRL
You've already spoken enough!

MADDIX
Someone should cut your vocal chords out of your body!

PRL
Don't piss me off, Landon!

MADDIX
Why not? Because if I do, you're gonna send your SLUT after me?

PRL
ALL RIGHT!

PRL swings his black spray-painted briefcase at Landon, but Landon blocks it with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt! Zack, not pleased with how the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt is being used, mouths off to Landon, and he gets a shove in return! Zack shoves back! PRL shoves Landon too! Then he shoves Zack! Zack shoves PRL! The three men get into a three-way face-off in the middle of the ring as the crowd gets fired up.

COLE
Here we go! We could be getting AngleSlam early!

COACH
Fight! Fight! Fight!

Suddenly, security guards slide into the ring and pull PR, Zack, and Maddix apart! The crowd boos. PRL, Zack, and Landon continue their yelling match while being held back from each other!

COLE
Security has come out! They're preventing anything serious from happening!

COACH
Why!? I wanted to see them fight!

COLE
I think AngleSault wants to make sure the AngleSlam main event goes as planned!

COACH
Awww, I want it now!

COLE
You can't wait 72 hours?

COACH
No!

Security starts taking the three AngleSlam main event participants out of the ring. The crowd is still fired off, chanting, "ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!" and some fans chanting, "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" PR continues mouthing off to Landon and Zack. Landon sneers at PRL and yells at Zack, while Zack simply eyes the two heels IN ANGER~! Security takes Landon away first. Landon makes sure to raise the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt while he's taken away.

COLE
What a wild start to HeldDOWN~! And we've still got more to come as we inch closer and closer to AngleSlam! We'll be right back right after this!

Security takes PRL and Zack Malibu away at the same time. PRL mouths off to Zack as he's being taken away. Zack says something to PRL and then heads up the entrance ramp. PRL continues mouthing off to Zack even as Zack is walking up the entrance ramp. That is the last image we see before we fade to black.

FADE TO BLACK

*COMMERCIAL BREAK*

Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg makes way through the curtains...decked out in a Peyton Manning jersey, which goes over about as well as you'd expect with the New Englanders.

COLE
And Alfdogg obviously not trying to gain any fans heading into his WDW World title defense with Reject this Sunday at AngleSlam, as we go to Michael Buffer!

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall!  Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 239 pounds...he is the WDW WORLD Heavyweight champion...ALFDOGG!!!!!

COLE
As we've stated, Alfdogg has held the WDW World title since December 26, 2004, almost 3 years...

Alf grabs a mic, and is immediately showered with boos.

ALF
So, we're three days away from AngleSlam...three days away from the big event in NEW YORK CITY.

*crowd boos*

ALF
You know, Boston has got to be the easiest city in the world...I mean, EVERYBODY goes through you guys for the big event, and this year, the OAOAST is no different!

*crowd boos*

COLE
Ouch!

ALF
Including, of course...*points to jersey*...Peyton Manning and the Colts.

*crowd boos*

ALF
Yeah, it's not so easy without your KICKER, is it?  Without your saving grace!  And I hope this OAOAST legend who's going to make an appearance tonight, didn't wrack his brain too much on these predictions...at least not as it pertains to the WDW World title, because this match is JUST as predictable as the Sawx choking away the division to the Yankees!

*crowd boos*

COACH
THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

ALF
Because Reject, this Sunday...

The jobber attacks Alf from behind!

COLE
Well, whoever this young man is...

COACH
...what is this guy thinking?

Alf promptly reverses an Irish whip, and catches the jobber with a AA SPINEBUSTER~!

COLE
And Alf hasn't even taken his jersey off...

COACH
He's still got the mic in his hand, Cole!

Alf bends down to the jobber.

ALF
What are you thinking, my friend?  Your head's got to be as empty as the Boston Celtics' bench!

*crowd boos*

Alf goes to the top rope, still holding the mic, and delivers the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111  Alf pops to his feet, and walks a lap around the ring, soaking in the boos.  Alf then stops at the jobber's feet, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER, forcing an immediate tapout!

*DING DING DING*

COLE
Well, Alf wins...

Alf keeps the hold on, as the referee tries to break, then smashes the referee in the head with the mic!

COACH
And he's not letting go!

ALF
You can't stop me!  I'm just like Tom Brady, I don't know WHEN to pull out!

*crowd boos*

COACH
HA!

Several officials make their way to the ring, and after a few minutes, finally get Alf to break the hold.  Magnum Opus plays, as the officials wave for EMTs.

COLE
Well, this can't be a good sign for Reject this Sunday!

EMT's arrive with a stretcher, and move the jobber out of the ring, as Alf hops out and walks down the aisle.

COLE
Right now, let's go to Josh!

Josh Matthews stands backstage with "Disco Duck" Vinny Valentine.

JOSH
I'm here with Vinny Valentine, who will be in action later tonight, in his HeldDOWN~! debut!

VINNY
That's right, kid!  You know, the Celtics may have just traded for Kevin Garnett, but you are looking at the FIRST appearance of the real Big Ticket right here on HeldDOWN~!

JOSH
Of course, Vinny Valentine, formerly of the WDW, which was sold a couple months ago!  How did you feel when you got the news?

VINNY
Well, as far as I'm concerned, kid, those guys got what they deserved.  You see, WDW's problem was not enough Disco Duck.

JOSH
What do you mean by that, exactly?

VINNY
You see, WDW didn't realize that Vinny Valentine is AUTOMATIC...

*drum beat, accompanied by a horn*

I'm SYSTEMATIC...

*repeat sound*

I'm HYYYYYYYYYYDRO-MATIC...

*repeat sound*

and as the ladies know, much like MacArthur Park, I'm frightening in the dark.  But you can bet, here in the OAOAST, Disco Duck will love on forever!

*crowd boos*

VALENTINE
Any more questions, kid?

Josh shakes his head.

VALENTINE
Good, I've got a match to get ready for.

Valentine leaves, as Josh watches.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Chanel #99]

MELODY (Patty's note: I'm assuming he meant Maggie!)
Hey folks, the one of many Melody Nerdly here and I'm jammin' backstage with none other than Denzel Spencer. Like what I did there?

DENZEL
Bob Marley references? Yeah, dey never get old.

MELODY
You know it. Now, you're back on HeldDOWN~! tonight in singles action, you've gotta be pretty excited.

DENZEL
Melody, dat's right. I'm real excited for t'night. It's a real shame 'bout WDW, 'specially for a guy like me, jus' beginnin' to make a name for myself an' gettin' de opportun'ties against de Alfdoggs o' de world. But, dat don' matter no more. It's a fresh start for me now. Ya know, de battle royal at Syndicated, I didn't fare so good. But da's okay, beca...


"Excuse me..."

Both Denzel and Melody are surprised to be interrupted by, of all people, OAOAST World Champion Landon Maddix! Landon, flanked of course by Megan Skye, strolls into shot and holds up two calming hands to Spencer.

MADDIX
I'm sorry to interrupt but, would you mind if I took it from here?

DENZEL
Excuse me mon, but I t'ink I was here first...

MADDIX
Oh, that's my mistake. But, I have to ask, you DO realise who I am, right? (flashes belt) You are officially outranked. No offence.

Not feeling like arguing his side right now, Denzel just shrugs and walks away shaking his head.

MADDIX
(to Melody)
Thanks for that Maxwell. He's a good kid. Lot of potential.

MELODY
His name is actually Denzel.

MADDIX
Whatever. Let's get right down to the skinny here Melody and talk about what happened last week in Hawaii. You see, last week was supposed to be the premature end to my World Title reign. It was touted as the night my 'bogey' opponent, Todd Cortez, would shock the world and take this OAOAST Title from me. After all, how could I beat the man who knew me better than any other? How could I kickout of the Riot Act Plus? Could I really cope with the pressure of three challengers breathing down my neck? Well, last week, I gave you all your answer. There's a lot of armchair critics out there in TV land right now who spoke out against me so confidently and so often, they're still busy eating their words as I speak.

Landon smirks to himself.

MADDIX
See, not only did I beat Todd Cortez, I positively ANNIHILATED him! I left him beaten. Bloodied. And bed-ridden. Last Thursday was a message to all of those people who doubt me, right me off as just some arrogant pretty-boy blond from Espágna who doesn't have the killer instinct to be Champion. Sure, I'm a little self confident. But I've got a right to be. Sure, I'm pretty. I mean... come on, who wants a taste. But when it comes down to crunch-time, I'm also willing to go to that extra length. That's what makes me such a great Champion.

Ever modest, Landon shrugs as if to say "I'm just saying what you're thinking". Melody raises her eyebrows a little but tries to seem accepting of what her new guest is saying.

MADDIX
So, it's one down and two to go. One of those two being another word-eater, mister Zack Malibu. I hope you're happy Zack. Because of you, I have no right-hand man and because of you, Todd Cortez has a concussion. Win-win, right? Right? Say, Melody, have you heard about this "AngleSlam Curse" phenomenon?

MELODY
Uh, well, yeah.

MADDIX
Yeah, me too. Zack, I've got good news for you my friend. You needn't worry about your little "AngleSlam Curse", you can let your apologists do that when the excuses are needed. The only curse you need to be concerned with is the "Cucaracha Curse", if you know what I mean, so...



"OH! That's a GOOD one!"

Now it's Landon's turn to be surprised by an interruption. This one courtesy of THA PUERTO RICAN, flanked of course by his fiancee Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. PRL and Landon scowl at each other, poor little Melody trapped in the middle.

PRL
That's cute, 'Cucaracha Curse', how long did it take you to think that one up?

MADDIX
About as long as your last World Title reign. Oh, wait, maybe not!

Landon licks his index finger and chalks one up on his imaginary scoreboard.

PRL
That's right, laugh it up. But just remember, those testicles are just a loner and sooner or later you're gonna have to let your little girlfriend have them back.

MADDIX
Are you calling Megan a man?

PRL
No, I'm calling you a woman who has to have Megan make all your decisions for you.

MADDIX
Oh. Well. That's a little rich, considering your girlfriend is the one with the shiny belt around her waist. Now tell me, how does that make you feel there bigman?

PRL
I feel fine, considering I'm rubber and you're glue.

MADDIX
What the hell sort of a comeback is that, jackass?

PRL
Boing-flip.

MADDIX
...damnit.

Chewing on his gum a little more confidently now, PRL points Landon into looking him in the eyes.

PRL
Listen 'Champ', you can flap your little gums all you want about last week. But come AngleSlam, Madison Square Garden, The Big Apple, New York Cit-AY... it ain't going to change the fact that yours truly will walk in, layeth the smackdown and walk straight back out, new OAOAST World Champion. See, Zack Malibu has an AngleSlam Curse. Only this time, it's gonna be ME who takes advantage out of that jabroni's misfortune, NOT you! And then, me and my beeeeautiful fiance, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, will wed and live happily ever after, Mr. and Mrs. World Heavyweight CHAMPION!! We could exchange belts instead of rings.

MADDIX
Yeah because that wouldn't be lame at all.

PRL
Boing-flip.

MADDIX
......damnit. Besides, the only reason your little underling is even holding that belt is because she never defends it. Which could be for one of two reasons. Either A- you're still waiting on the results of that gender test to check she's actually an eligible champion and yes, that actually was me calling your girlfriend a man, it's not original I know but I feel it works. Or, alternatively, Option B- she's just like you. All mouth, no panties.

While PRL isn't sure whether that was supposed to be an insult or a compliment, Lindsay certainly takes offence, which in turn causes Tha Puerto Rican to take offence on her behalf.

PRL
I'll have you know Lindsay is the strongest, fiestiest most dominant female in the OAOAST. The only reason she's not defending her title every week on this show is the lack of challengers with the guts to face her!

LINDSAY
Yeah, that's ri...

PRL
Quiet Lindsay, the men are talking.

LINDSAY


MADDIX
It's funny you should say all that. Because, I'm pretty confident my girlfriend could kick your girlfriend's ass.

PRL and Landon suddenly go nose to nose.

PRL
Well, I think my girlfriend could kick your girlfriend's ass, just like I'm gonna do to you at AngleSlam.

MADDIX
Oh yeah? Prove it!

PRL
Elaborate.

MADDIX
Your bitch, one on one tonight for the Women's Title against my bitch...

MEGAN
HEY!

MADDIX
...okay, that came out wrong. But, you see the basic point, right?

PRL
Megan versus Lindsay tonight, Women's Title?

MADDIX
Exactly. We have a deal?

PRL
No problem.

LINDSAY
HEY!

Landon and PRL share a friendly handshake on figuring out what each other was talking about, before remembering they hate each other and stopping mis-shake to glare at each other. Landon and PRL then storm off in opposite directions. Forgetting to take their female counterparts with them.

MEGAN, LINDSAY & MELODY
*sigh* Men...

Megan and Lindsay glare at each other, before scuttling off after their men.

COLE
Wow! Can you believe that, we've got ourselves a Women's Title match... TONIGHT!

COMING UP NEXT
DISCO LIVES
Vinny Valentine DEBUTS
NEXT

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Chanel #99]

Disco Duck hits, as Vinny Valentine makes his way out, to boos.

COLE
Time for the HeldDOWN~! debut of "Disco Duck" Vinny Valentine!

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall!  Making his way to the ring, hailing from Brooklyn, New York, and weighing in at 228 pounds..."DISCO DUCK" VVVVVVVVINNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY VVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLENTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN
NE!!!!!

As Valentine gets in the center of the ring and dances, the camera cuts over to Coach, who is up doing the watusi at the announce table.

COLE
What are you doing?  Will you sit down?

Cole grabs at Coach's shirt, and tries to pull him into his seat.

BUFFER
His opponent...from Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at 236 pounds...Tim Scott!

*DING DING DING*

The two men circle the ring, and Valentine grabs a side headlock.  Scott backs him into the ropes, and shoves him across.  Scott executes a leapfrog, then tries a second, but Valentine catches him, and executes an inverted atomic drop!

COLE
Nice counter by Vinny Valentine into the inverted atomic drop!

Valentine stops to dance for a few seconds, then drags Scott into the corner and kicks away, sending him to a sitting position.  He then chokes him with his foot, breaking at the referee's four-count.

COLE
Well, from the things I've heard, Vinny Valentine is a very profficient all-around athlete, he doesn't excel in any one department, but he knows enough brawling, wrestling and high-flying techniques!

Valentine slowly picks up Scott, and hooks him, delivering a suplex!  He then rolls through.

COLE
And Valentine could be looking to put three together right here!

Valentine executes a second suplex!  He then picks him up one last time, and delivers a third conescutive suplex!  Valentine then chokes, breaking at the four-count.

COACH
Well, he's aggressive, You've got to say that for him!

Valentine scoops up Scott, and delivers a slam, then goes upstairs.

COLE
He's going for his big legdrop, which he calls Night Fever!

Valentine comes off the top, and delivers NIGHT FEVER~!!!

1...



2...



3!!!

*DING DING DING*

BUFFER
Here is your winner..."DISCO DUCK" VVVVVVVVINNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY VVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLENTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN
NE!!!!!

COLE
Vinny Valentine with a very impressive debut here on HeldDOWN~!

Coach starts dancing again as the camera cuts to the table.

COLE
Don't you start again!

*cut*

O Canada plays, as a Canadian flag waves in the background.  Suddenly, CWM walks onto the screen, drawing a HUGE pop from the Boston crowd!

CWM
So...the OAOAST came to me, wanting to get my predictions for AngleSlam, 2007.  Well, I've been watching the buildup, and I know exactly what's going to happen this Sunday, so I'm going to give you the privilege of my predictions.  OK, what's our first match?

*cut to clips of the Sk8er Boiz making an entrance and delivering the Happy Ending to an opponent, followed by Logan "Usher" Mann's WICKED LEFT HOOK~! and The Heavenly Rockers delivering the Electric Melody to an opponent, then the Sk8er Boiz vs Heavenly Rockers graphic.*

CWM
The Sk8er Boiz vs the Heavenly Rockers...the Heavenly Rockers, the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all time.  Well, you know, the Heavenly Rockers are definitely a trendsetting team, they've got all the tools it takes to get to the top, and they've proven that, former World tag team champions.  Unfortunately, they're going to be run ragged by the exciting high-flyers this Sunday, I've got to stick with my countrymen, I'm going with the Sk8er Boiz.  What's next?

*clips of the participants in the 10-man tag, followed by the match graphic*

CWM
Big ten-man tag match!  Don't see many of those anymore.  I'm going to make this one short and sweet...I look for Leon Rodez, the COD, and D*LUX to score a big victory for all of us who are pro-hot women making out.  The Enterprise...people with your views don't make it very far in my world.  You're going down.

*clip of Colombian Heat delivering the Colombian Necktie to an opponent, followed by the James Riggs Koppou Kick, followed by Riggs making out with Staci, followed by a clip of Heat's rap performance, closing out with the match graphic*

CWM
Colombian Heat, rapper extrodinare.  Not my type of tunes, but it's worked well for him, he's come a long way in his time.  This Riggs fellow is a very interesting character...very unique style, I like his style.  In the end, though, 24/7 title on the line, this is going to be a very fast-paced match, and I haven't seen many people work that style better than the Colombian Heat...I say the champ retains his title.

*cut to clips of Thunderkid delivering the Thunderbolt DDT to an opponent, followed by the Thunder Bay Throttle, followed by Strutter and TK posing with their respective belts and the match graphic*

CWM
The Heartland title, I love these matches!  TK, you're a big, tough guy, but I can't think of anyone who's done a better job representing my country than "After Hours" Felix Strutter.  After this Sunday, he WILL BE the undisputed Heartland champion.

*clips of Reject hitting the Eulogy, followed by the Five-Star Alf Splash, followed by Alf and Reject having a staredown and the match graphic*

CWM
Alf!  My good buddy.  You know, Alf has held that belt for quite a long time since beating me for it, but in my personal opinion, he's facing his toughest challenge coming up this Sunday.  Reject says this is his time, and I wish I could agree...but unfortunately, I know better than anyone that when Alf is faced with a big challenge, he rises to the occasion.  And I don't think this Sunday will be any different.  I think Alf will continue to tack some more time onto that reign, but don't worry, Reject, your time will come.

*clips of Landon Maddix applying the Dragon Clutch, followed by PRL hitting the Corporate Nightmare and Zack hitting School's Out, then clips of PRL and Zack celebrating victories and Landon celebrating his World title victory, followed by the match graphic*

CWM
Well, I'll tell you what...I was as surprised as anyone when Landon Maddix pinned Zack and took the belt from him.  We'll find out this Sunday if he's just a flash in the pan, or if he's for real...and we all know how Zack can rise to the occasion.  My personal opinion...I think we see a new World champion this Sunday...but it won't be Zack.  You see, Tha Puerto Rican...I think this is HIS time.  He's fought hard for a long time, just like Reject, and come up short, but he's got to get over the hump sometime, and I think it happens this Sunday.  So mark it down, I said it was going to happen, so it's going to happen.  Thanks for coming, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get a beer.

CWM walks away, then the camera pans over as he leans back into view.

CWM
...CANADIAN, of course.

CWM walks away as O Canada plays us into the...

COMMERCIAL BREAK

COMING UP NEXT
JAMMIN IN THE NAME OF THE LORD!
Nathaniel Black Vs Denzel Spencer
NEXT

.:CUE: "Chelsea Dagger", The Fratellis:.

The lights alternate between red, white and blue through the intro, before the doors part and out marches one grouchy Englishman, Nathaniel Black. Black raises his arms in the air, generally shouting his mouth off to the fans on his way to the ring.

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from London, England! Weighing in at two hundred and thirty eight pounds... NNAAAATTHHAAANNIIIIEEEEELLLLLL... BBLLLLLLAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Black rounds the ring, yelling at some of the fans in the front row. His thick Cockney accent is pretty hard to decipher, but one of the words definately rhymed with 'blankers'. Instead of entering in any 'conventional' way, Black slides partway under the bottom rope so he's facing into the crowd and bridges up to his feet. Black then turns and raises his arms triumphantly.

COLE
Nathaniel Black making his return to HeldDOWN~! here tonight and not looking all that honoured to be here. Very outspoken on the OAOAST on our Syndicated broadcast from England a few weeks ago.

COACH
More than outspoken Mikey. He said he was gonna kick 'arse'. And just ask Jamie O'Hara, he's dead serious about it.

As Black gets checked out by referee Mark Hebner, "Master Blaster (Jammin')" by Stevie Wonder begins to play. A Jamaican flag floats in the breeze on the AngleTron as Denzel Spencer heads out to the ring.

BUFFER
And, introducing the opponent. He hails from Montego Bay in Jamaica... weighing two hundred, twenty seven pounds... DDEEEEEEENNZZZZEEEEEEELLLL... SSSSSSSPPEEEEEEEENNCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
As Denzel Spencer makes his way to the ring, lets remind you of what we saw out of Nathaniel Black back at Syndicated. Take a look.

BLACK
.....And I waited for the OAOAST to finally step into my hometown of London, so I could give it the slap in the face it bloody well has coming!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

BLACK
As of right now, I'm back in the OAOAST. And I am gonna do exactly what I set out to do in WDW. I'm gonna prove myself! I'm gonna prove that British is best!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

BLACK
And I'm gonna damn well kick some OAOAST arse!

Throwing down the mic, Black storms off from the announce position and back through the crowd where he came from.


-----------------------------


The camera cuts to the backstage area where, limping through the hallways, Jamie O'Hara looks pretty dejected over his loss in the battle royal earlier. Kicking the ground, O'Hara curses to himself, still going over the mistakes in his head. In mid-curse though he's sent flying as suddenly NATHANIEL BLACK charges into view and wipes him out!!

Black stomps away on O'Hara, beating him down until any fight left after the battle royal seems to disappear. He then hauls O'Hara up by the wifebeater, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him into a STIFF Clothesline! The back of O'Hara's head hits the floor HARD and he doesn't move a muscle there after. Besides a couple of groggy groans O'Hara is lifeless, as Black kneels down next to him.

BLACK
Now that was long overdue.

Giving O'Hara a firm slap across the back of the head, Black marches off, leaving The Birmingham Bad Boy laying on the cold, hard floor.

We return to live action...


*DINGDINGDING!*

...just as the opening bell sounds.

COLE
And now, Nathaniel Black in his first official OAOAST competition since the 2006 Anderson Cup, taking on another former tag-team competitor Denzel Spencer. Both these men will be hoping to make an impression on OAOAST top brass and earn themselves a 'spot' on HeldDOWN~!

COACH
Which is gonna be pretty tough with like 50 active singles wrestlers on the roster.

COLE
Coach!

COLE
What? I'm just repeating what Nathaniel was telling me earlier.

After a lock-up to open proceedings, Denzel manages to grab a side headlock on his opponent. Black quickly pushes Denzel off into the ropes though and connects with a hard forearm to the stomach as he bounces back. With the wind knocked out of him Spencer staggers forward and falls into the ropes, leaving himself exposed for another forearm, this time to the kidneys.

COLE
Black, a hard-hitting Englishman. Spencer has to try and keep the pace quick here tonight and stay away from both the ground game and the striking game if he can.

Spinning Denzel around, Black levels his opponent with a European Uppercut. Denzel ends up hung over the top rope, Black dragging him off them and into a second, expertly delivered uppercut. With a wring of the arm Black then whips Denzel across the ring, ducking his head... and getting leapfrogged! Nathaniel looks surprised as he turns around, right into a standing dropkick! And a second! And on the third time of asking, an armdrag takes the Englishman over, Spencer barring the arm.

COLE
Or, maybe not.

COACH
Nah, you were actually right the first time. For once. An armbar ain't gonna do much, Denzel needs to keep moving.

Black uses a helpful handful of Spencer's hair to help him get back to his feet and buries a knee into the Jamaican's gut before he can even finish complaining to the referee about it.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

As Hebner warns Black over the hairpull, he shows what he thinks of the OAOAST official by CLUBBING Denzel between the shoulder blades! Denzel cringes and backs across the ring. In doing so, he lures in Black and boots him in the gut as he approaches him in the corner. Hopping onto the second rope, Spencer then waits for Black to close in again before soaring with a Crossbody...


1...





2...




Kickout.

Rolling through, Denzel gets to his feet first and runs the ropes for a clothesline. Black manages to duck the line though, swinging himself behind with a waistlock. However, Spencer manages to put the brakes on the premature Black Magic attempt by kicking his feet onto the middle rope, pushing off and taking Nathaniel over with a Swinging Bulldog!

COLE
Wow! Nice improvisation from Denzel Spencer there.

Cover by Spencer...


1...





2...




No!

Quickly, Denzel heads for the top rope. Still looking dis-orientated from the Bulldog Black wanders around aimlessly for a second or too, before walking right into the path of Spencer...


...DUCKE...


...NO! Denzel adjusts in mid-air and takes Black over with a Flying Sunset Flip...



1...






2...





Kickout!

COLE
I tell you what, Denzel Spencer is cooking right now! He's determined to make a name for himself tonight.

COACH
Yeah, much more of this and our World Champion might actually recognise him.

Back up, Denzel ducks a left swing from Black. And a right. Neither clothesline working, Black lets his frustrations get the better of him and tries to headbutt Spencer clean in the face. But Spencer is no longer there. Dropping to all fours, Denzel crawls through the legs of Nathaniel Black and scrambles to the ropes, catching Black as he turns around with another Crossbody...


1...





2...




No!

Both men rush to their feet and finally Black manages to catch Denzel, kneeing him in the gut and slowing him down even more with a European Uppercut. Black then whips Denzel into the turnbuckles and looks to follow right in behind him. Up and over goes the Jamaican however. Black just about avoids a nasty collision with the buckles and has to think quickly as Denzel rushes him. Sidestep from Nathaniel, but Denzel also slams on the brakes just in time...



*WHAM!*


...and turns right into a BRUTAL Lariat, catching him cold from the left side!!

COLE
Oh, my!

COACH
He took his head off, mon!

Taking the opportunity to finally catch his breath, Black takes a second before covering the prone Spencer...


1...






2...





Kickout!

By the hair, Black brings Denzel back up. A hard forearm shiver has Denzel staggered. And a second. With Denzel staggered, Nathaniel then comes roaring, putting all his two thirty eight behind his patented BLACK LARIAT!

COACH
Oh, that has gotta be it!

COLE
Rolling clothesline, from the right side this time. Safe to say that the early energy we saw out of Denzel has been knocked out of him.

Instead of going for the pin, Black instead makes a surprise decision to go to the top rope. But with Denzel down and showing little sign of life, the rugged Englishman has time to come divingbombing from the third floor with a devestating Flying Kneedrop! Cover...


1...







2...






NO!

COLE
There's still some energy there though on Denzel Spencer's part!

Stalking his opponent, Black waits for an opening. And as soon as Denzel starts pushing himself up his finds it. Taking a short run-up, Black simply PUNTS Denzel in the sternum with a rugby kick! Spencer is hit so hard, he actually flips over in mid-air, drawing a groan from the Boston crowd.

COLE
We haven't seen a whole lot of the vaunted, British style wrestling that Nathaniel Black has been priding himself on in the past year of his career. This has been a rugged, nasty performance. Nothing pretty but oh, so effective.

COACH
It's rugged and nasty because that's how he feels about being in an OAOAST ring.

Black clinches Spencer's head and backs him into a corner, striking him hard in the chest with the palms of his hands. And again. The palm strikes are legal but the doing-them-in-the-corner isn't so referee Hebner lays a count on Black, not endearing himself to the not-so jolly Brit. Black hits one more double thrust before breaking just to spite the ref. He then brings Denzel out into the middle of the ring, executing a back suplex. After a few choice words for the hostile Bostonians, off the ropes comes Black, dropping another knee to the chest and covering...


1...







2...





Kickout!

BLACK
BLOODY 'ELL REF, COME ON!

By the hair, Black sits Spencer up before wrapping on a rear waistlock.

"DEN - ZEL!"
"DEN - ZEL!"
"DEN - ZEL!"
"DEN - ZEL!"

The crowd's support gets Denzel back into the match as he starts to climb back to his feet. Black keeps his hands locked around Denzel's chest to try and restrict his breathing. If Denzel was in need of the heimlich manoeuver right now then he'd be in the right place. But, of course he doesn't. So he makes a break for the nearest corner, ducking his head late to drive Black face-first into the top turnbuckle pad and break the hold!

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Black staggers backwards, into a schoolboy...


1...






2...





Kickout!

Cutting off any momentum his opponent had been building, a quick forearm connects on Denzel.

COLE
Quick thinking there from Black but he's finding this a little tougher than jumping someone from behind in the back after they've already competed, that's for sure.

COACH
What does that have to do with anything!?

Having dropped him with the forearm, Black has to pull Spencer back up before delivering a Half Nelson... ARMDRAG!? YES, counter by Denzel and out to the floor tumbles Nathaniel! The Englishman quickly pulls himself back up. But the next thing he knows, Denzel Spencer is hurtling towards him, wiping him out with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

COACH
They can fly, they can bobsled, is there anything these Jamaican cats can't do!?

Denzel climbs back up and tags some of the outstretched hands in front of him. Throwing Black back into the ring, Denzel follows with a quick kick. That sets Nathaniel up for the Scissors Kick... and it CONNECTS! The Boston crowd encourage Denzel to get on his opponent, which he does with a deep leg hook...


1...






2...






NO!

The laid back Jamaican doesn't dwell on the disappointment and loads Black up into a corner. Denzel follows in with a Stinger Splash...



...NOBODY HOME! Denzel crashes into the turnbuckles chest-first!

COLE
That was a mistake.

Denzel stumbles out of the corner, back into a European Uppercut to the upper back. With Denzel softened up Black then pulls him back into an inverted front facelock and whips around, driving him down with the Chelsea Dagger!!

COACH
Count it.



1...






2...





Kickout!

COLE
No! Denzel kicks out, but that may have just pissed off the Brit.

Frustrated, Black warns the referee off with a look as he stalks behind Denzel. The Jamaican doesn't see the trap he's walking into, oblivious until Black lunges forward, snaring Denzel's arm into a chickenwing. Denzel tries to fight the hold, getting his arm between Black's and his neck to block the crossface...



...until Black delivers a headbutt to the back of the neck! Another! Another and another and another, striking the soft point of the neck until Denzel's defence collapses...



...AND HE LATCHES ON THE CROSSFACE CHICKENWING!!

COACH
Yep, he pissed him off alright.

COLE
Crossface Chickenwing is sunk in, it may be academic from here.

Denzel gets taken to the mat by Black, wrenching away on the hold as he traps one of the Jamaican's legs in a scissors to prevent it finding it's way onto a rope. He needn't worry though as, realising he's in trouble, Denzel puts up a brief fight...



*TAPTAPTAP!*

...before surrendering!!


*DINGDINGDING!*

Black releases the hold and shoves Denzel away from him, as "Chelsea Dagger" hits. Pushing to his feet, Black raises his arms triumphantly as the crowd show their disapproval.

BUFFER
Your winner of the match... NATHANNIIIIIEEEEEELLLLLLL BBLLLLLLAAAAAACCKK!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Nathaniel Black picking up the victory on his return to the OAOAST, but you've got to give credit to Denzel Spencer.

COACH
Why? He lost.

COLE
Fantastic.

Far from looking pleased with his victory, Black leaves the ring with a fixed scowl on his face. Black mouths off to a couple of fans giving him a hard time before marching off towards the back.

COLE
Well, that was an interesting reaction to such an important victory. Anyway, we'll have more HeldDOWN~! in just a few moments, don't go anywhere.

***Newsflash asshole I go wherever the fuck I want.***

COMING UP NEXT
Champions' road to glory
Team Heyross In Action
NEXT

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST HELDDOWN IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Useless shit you don't need-You'll buy it anyway, because you are one stupid motherfucker

Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits, and Rick Heyross leads his team out to the ring.

COLE
Team Heyross set for action here on HeldDOWN~!  Let's go to the ring!

BUFFER
The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!  Making their way to the ring, accompanied by their manager, Rick Heyross, at a total combined weight of 485 pounds...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

COLE
Team Heyross made it a long way in Battlebowl in Syndicated last month, but unfortunately came up short in the big unification match a few weeks ago!

Team Heyross slides in and poses, then attacks their opponents!

*DING DING DING*

COACH
And I think they're trying to send a message right here!

Moss and Benjamin hook one opponent with one arm under each leg, and each of their heads under an arm, and deliver an overhead suplex, right over the ropes to the floor!

COLE
Oh, and that guy goes all the way to the floor!

Moss steps out momentarily, then Benjamin quickly tags him in and ducks down behind the opponent.  Moss backs into the ropes, and comes back, as Team Heyross executes the DOUBLE GOOZLE~!

COLE
And they're going for it early here!

Benjamin goes up top, as Moss lifts the jobber on his shoulders, and executes the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!

1...


2...


3!!!

*DING DING DING*

COACH
Lot of pissed off people tonight!  Maybe a couple more guys who want to get out of Boston sooner or later!

BUFFER
Here are your winners...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Moss and Benjamin quickly leave the ringside area.

COLE
Well, Team Heyross definitely sending a message to the championship committee with that display, and they're not sticking around to celebrate!  Right now, let's go to...

THIS SUNDAY...

In front of a black computer generated backdrop with halo over gold angel wings and the group‘s name written in blue letters above, the Heavenly Rockers.

SYNTH
Yo, L-Mann, the Angleslam is right around the corner. 3 days and 4 nights away! Man, we’s gonna be tearin’ up NYC. But it ain‘t gonna be all play. We gotta crack a few heads first. The Marv and Hell Mel, Mann, the Sk8ter Boiz, them crazy mutha’s actually think they stands a chance with the crown princes of the rock ‘n’ roll. You believe dat shit? Nah, son, didn’t think so. The Synthmeister can read you like a book. Don’t even need to hear the words coming out of your mouth to understand where you comin’ from. We tight, son.

LOGAN
Tighter than me and Holly-Wood ever were! A word to the wise Marv and Mel. Professional wrestling is a man’s world, meaning NO BOIZ ALLOWED!! Don’t let MY BITCH fool you. She ain’t got jack on the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time. Her only talent won’t be able to help you in our match Sunday night, but it will help you in church because you’re gonna need to get on your knees and pray for an act of God to defeat the Heavenly Rockers.  

SYNTH
(giddy)
And let’s not forget about the surprise! Lights out for the Sk8ter Boiz at Angleslam. HEH HEH HEH!

LOGAN
Anything they can do we can do an infinity times better sayeth Logan Usher Mann!

SYNTH
Now deal wit dat mutha[bleep]!

THE HOTTEST EVENT OF THE SUMMER RETURNS...

Now a curved ramp and pair of skateboards labeled “THE MARV” and “HELL MEL” make up the backdrop for our next speakers, alongside their manager Melody Nerdly and Holly-Wood, the Sk8ter Boiz.

THE MARV
Angleslam, the hottest event of the summer, is only days away Heavenly Rockers. The time to repent has come and gone. Now it’s time for you to pay for your sins.

HOLLY
Logan, you think you know…but you have no idea. This Sunday night I will be in the Sk8ter Boiz corner to witness the beating you guys have deserved for months and to be on-guard for this “surprise” you’ve claimed will rock our world. If the surprise is anything like our wedding night, Logan, well, then we’re all in for a big -- or should I say small? -- disappointment.

HELL MEL
You talk a big game, Heavenly Rockers, and we know you can back it up, but Holly-Wood’s prepared us for every possible scenario imaginable. There’s nothing you can throw our way that we haven’t already thought of. Sunday night you’re gonna get RAWKED~!

MELODY
That’s right, Heavenly Rockers. With Holly on our side, you can’t win and we can‘t lose.

LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!

ANGLESLAM 07

CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE OR SATELLITE PROVIDER TO ORDER NOW!

COMING UP NEXT
Reject in action
NEXT

[Chanel #99]

Renagade hits, and Reject makes his way to the ring, to the boos of the crowd.

COLE
Reject ready for action here on HeldDOWN~!  Let's go to Michael Buffer!

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall!  Making his way to the ring, hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!!

Reject slides into the ring, and poses on the buckles.

BUFFER
His opponent, from Tampa, Florida, weighing in at 235 pounds...Steve Freeman!

*DING DING DING*

Freeman moves in for the tieup, but Reject delivers a foot to the gut, then backs into the ropes and executes a swinging neckbreaker!

COLE
And Reject off to a quick start!

Reject picks up Freeman, and wrings his arms, then takes him down with a spin kick!  Reject then sizes up Freeman...and drops him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111

COACH
Wow, the OAOAST spent a lot of money on opponents for these guys tonight, didn't they?

Reject then goes to the top...and delivers a FROG SPLASH~!

COLE
Look at this!

1...


2...


3!!!

*DING DING DING*

BUFFER
Here is your winner...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!!

COLE
Reject using Alf's own finisher to pick up the win here!

As Reject poses in the ring, Alfdogg runs out and grabs him from behind, planting him with a German suplex!

COLE
Speaking of Alf, here he is!  With a surprise attack on Reject!

Alf stomps away at Reject, then removes his belt, and slams it into his challenger's skull as he gets to his feet!

COLE
Alf with the belt right to the skull of Reject!

COACH
I guess Alf not taking too kindly to Reject's mockery!

Alf then picks up Reject, lays the belt down...and executes Reject's EULOGY~! onto it!

COLE
And a little payback from Alf, as Reject busted open by that beltshot!

Alf then picks up his belt, as the crowd showers him with boos, and poses over Reject, as Magnum Opus plays.

COLE
And the crowd showing their disapproval of Alf here, not so much fans of Reject here...

COACH
Alf is in a BAD mood tonight!

COLE
And will this be the scene this Sunday at AngleSlam, when Reject challenges Alf for the WDW World title?  Let's go to...

HELL :firedevil:

Or a commercial break. But is constant bombardments of crass American consumerism not a form of hell?

[Chanel #99]

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP!

The crowd erupt...a very manly eruption, kind of like the noise you'd expect to here at a mud wrestling event. If such a thing exists. If so, send details. Meanwhile, the thumping theme "Voodoo Child" by the Rogue Traders brings the crowd to their feet as through the entrance doors emerge Megan Skye and...well, Megan Skye. Looking rather odd on her own, Megan walks her leather clad legs through the arch that leads to the aisle and towards the ring, with the Boston natives giving her a mixed reaction.

BUFFER
Introducing first...the challenger! From Pawtucket, Rhode Island, she weighs in at a demure one hundred and ten pounds. "THE PERFECT 10"... MMMMEEEGGAAAAAANN SSKKYYYYYYYEEEEEEE!!!

COLE
No Maddix. That's kinda odd.

COACH
Well not really Mikey. The World Champion's got a lot on his mind. So, as much as I'm sure Landon Maddix would want to be out here for moral support, he has an important match to focus on.

COLE
Well, it's just as well he's not! You can't give moral support if you don't have morals.

Reaching the ring, Megan slowly climbs up the steps and enters the ring. Already some scattered "Megan" chants can be heard in the background as the determined looking challenger backs into the corner and goes through a few basic warm ups.

As she does,  deep, slow voiced man yells out, "LIGHTNING CREW!" alerting the crowd on who is coming  out next. A deep, slow voiced man yells out, "LIGHTNING CREW!" alerting the crowd on who is coming out next. The crowd stands up and boos as the lights go down in the arena and the opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts playing. Smoke fills the entryway, and then a lightning bolt hits the entrance. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing over the P.A. system. Pink spotlights converge around the arena. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez comes out to a mixed reaction. She smirks at the crowd, before walking to the ring with an evil smile on her face as strobe lights appear on the entrance set.

BUFFER
And her opponent. Hailing from San Juan, Puerto Rico by way of Toronto, Ontario, Canada! She weighs in at one hundred, twenty pounds. The reigning and defending OAOAST Women's Champion of the WWOOOORRRLLDD... She is "THE QUEEN OF THE LIGHTNING CREW"... LLLIIIINNDDSSSSSAAAAAAAYYYY GGOOOOOONNZZAAAAAAAAALLEEEEEZZZZZ!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Lindsay stops in midwalk and poses for her 'fans', who haven't exactly come out in force in Boston, judging from the boos that fill the air. Regardless, Lindsay walks on down the aisle with the look of royalty in her swagger. Watching on from the ring, Megan is literally seething as the Women's Champ reaches the ring and quickly removes title, placing it safely underneath the turnbuckles. Megan continues to glare down on the champion as she walks up the steps, demanding that Megan be moved back.

COLE
So, no seconds out here tonight. Which means, these two women have to go on their own devices here in this one. There'll be no advice from the Maddixes and the PRL out here.

COACH
Yes. But let's face facts... PRL is Lindsay's strategist, BUT... Megan is Landon's strategist. So you tell me, who's going to have more problems?"

COLE
Well... in theory, Lindsay will.

COACH
Exactamundo!

As Megan is pushed back by senior referee Earl Hebner, Lindsay slowly enters the ring and looks across the ring at her opposition. And slowly, a smile creeps across her face. No smiling from Megan though, as she is still casting looks at Lindsay that could kill most small animals. Meanwhile, Hebner is trying to check the competitors for weapons...Megan allows him to, but Lindsay assuses Hebner of all sorts as he walks over to her with his hands out-stretched.

COLE
Now, what has Lindsay got to hide.

COACH
Her modesty? Her purity? Her...

COLE
Lemme guess, her virginity?

COACH
What!?! Hebner's looking for weapons. He's not going to fuck her Comet.

COLE
...


*DING DING DING!*

The match is underway and quick as a flash, Megan charges out of her corner and catches the wandering champion unprepared, taking her to the mat with a spear takedown before clawing and grabbing at Lindsay's face and hair! And Lindsay responds in kind, meaning we've got a good ol' fashioned cat-fight on our hands!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

First to break her face re-arranging grip is Skye, pulling away from Lindsay and slapping her across the face with a right...and a left, then a right...and a left, before another right. Lindsay is in trouble, so reaches up and pushes Megan off of her, allowing herself time to get up. As she does, Megan gets back to her feet too and slaps Lindsay again, this time sending The Latina Bitch stumbling backwards into the ropes. The ropes rebound her away, into the arms of Megan and a quick scoop slam. Pain washes through Lindsay's body and she quickly rolls out of the ring, while Megan looks to follow out... only to be stopped by referee Hebner.

COLE
Well, you'd expect most full-time wrestlers to shake off a bodyslam like that, but Lindsay is hardly a full-time competitor. Champion or not.

COACH
Par for the course in this company.

COLE
True dat.

It's clear that Lindsay is in some discomfort, looking for more time to recover on the floor. Time she isn't going to get, as Megan Skye has slipped away from Hebner and is stalking after Lindsay on the floor. Lindsay quickly rolls back in, with Megan hot on her heels. Back up, Lindsay goes for a kick but Megan catches it and sweeps Lindsay's standing leg from under her. Lindsay bounces off the mat, while Megan hooks up both of Lindsay's legs and falls slowly backwards, slingshotting her forwards and into the ropes. With her head dropping across the top, Lindsay staggers away holding her throat as Megan sidesteps her to get in front...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOO!"

...to deliver a knifedge chop! Lindsay stumbles backwards...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOO!"

...and takes another, taking her off her feet and causing the Women's Champion to fall into the ropes. And the way she falls causes her arms to get tied up!

COACH
This could get ugly. Or really beautiful. Oh, how I hope it gets beautiful...

Referee Hebner tries to keep Megan at bay, but this fiesty female wants to get her hands on Lindsay and brushes Hebner away. Moving in on Lindsay, Megan blocks an attempted kick by the helpless Women's Champion, pushing the foot away and landing a stiff forearm! Shock fills Lindsay's face, as Megan nails a second forearm! And a third! The crowd are going wild, as suddenly Hebner ducks in between the two woman and pulls Megan away forcefully, much to Boston's displeasure. In the time that takes, Lindsay has leant back and unhooked herself from the ropes. But Lindsay is still dis-orientated, wide open for a clothesline from Megan! Down goes Lindsay, getting right back up into a second clothesline. Megan is feeling in control now and moves in on Lindsay, not waiting for her to get back up before grabbing a handful of hair and woman-handling the Champ into the corner. Desperately Lindsay starts to claw forward at Megan, who avoids the sharpened fingernails of Gonzalez, ducking in and driving a shoulder into the gut. And again!

COLE
Look at this from Megan Skye, driving the shoulder into the midsection of Lindsay...softening her up here. So far, Megan has being doing a good job of controlling the early stages!

With Lindsay weakened in the corner, Megan stands back up and delivers an humiliating slap to the face while screaming some obscenities at the champion which again pop the crowd. Before Megan pops Lindsay, with a right hand. So desperatly Lindsay swings out with a slap of her own, which Megan counters with a surprisingly smooth armdrag. Lindsay rolls through and back up, into another armdrag which dizzies the champion and leaves her stumbling around the ring. Meanwhile, Megan has found a skip in her step and dances her way over to Lindsay who is too dis-orientated to defend herself...


*SMACK!*

...from a STINGING straight kick into the ribs! The force drops Lindsay into a seated position, leaving her clutching her ribs and gasping for breath with eyes wide as saucers. Meanwhile, Megan keeps on moving, jigging behind Lindsay and lashing her across the shoulder blades with another kick!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
What scintilatting kicks from the challenger!

COACH
Okay... since when did managers learn how to do this?

The force of the second kick leaves Lindsay flat on her back, breathing heavily already as the punishment she has taken begins to set in. Across to the corner walks Megan, running out from there and dropping a big elbow on the Women's Champion... but she doesn't make a pin.

COLE
These two women were thrown into this match by their warring spouses. And it certainly seems like Megan is the happier of the two about that.

COACH
Of course she is! She's got nothing to lose, Lindsay's got the Women's Title on the line with no preperation time!

COLE
She's had since AngleMania to prepare.

It's clear who's side the fans are on, as Megan walks back over to Lindsay and grabs two handfuls of her jet black hair, pulling her up by the roots. Lindsay is hardly able to stand, as a clubbing forearm strikes her just under the throat and drops her back to the canvas. Looking at her hands, Megan smiles as she sees strands of the champ's hair tangled around her fingers, souvenirs of a job well done so far. Quickly she pulls the hair away from her hands, only to then grab another two handfuls of Lindsay's flowing locks and whip her across the ring with a beil by the hair! This time, Lindsay is left screaming in agony, as we can see considerably more of her hair left on Megan's hands this time.

COACH
This isn't beautiful! This isn't right...a Queen shouldn't be treated this way!

COLE
If this keeps up, that Queen may be bald by the end of the night.

COACH
Don't say THAT!

Wailing away, Lindsay holds her head in pain... while Megan walks back over and drives a knee up into her jaw, snapping Lindsay's head back and causing her to fall into a seated position in the corner. Back steps Megan, before diving in a dropkicking Lindsay right in the jaw! Again the head of The Queen Of The Lightning Crew snaps back, but this time she does the smart thing and bails out of the ring with her tail between her legs.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The Boston crowd boo what they percieve as cowardice on Lindsay's part, but she could care less as she wanders aimlessly around ringside. The bad news is, Megan Skye has followed right out after her though and is slowly stalking Lindsay with a near-crazed look in her eyes as she grabs two more thick handfuls of black hair. Screaming, Lindsay reaches out for some help. But there's none coming, as Megan wheels the champion around and throws her facefirst into the ring apron. Lindsay's head bounces off the apron and she collapses to the thinly padded floor with a thud. In control, Megan smiles out to some of the fans who are cheering her on as Lindsay pulls herself slowly back up again.

COACH
See, this is what happens when you throw two chicks together, let 'em call each other names, sharpen up the claws. Bitches be trippin' Cole. For real, bitches worldwide. This is just an average Saturday night at the club for Da Coach, except instead of being the grand prize I'm on the sidelines. And from here, it ain't so hot as it is in the middle of it all.

With Lindsay up, Megan grabs her opponent by the hair again, setting her up and irish whipping her into the guardrail, which is met by approval from the fans! Some of the front rowers slap Lindsay on the back, which makes her desperate to get away from the railings and the unwashed public... but instead, she falls into the (presumably washed) Megan Skye and a quick jab. A second jab is followed quickly with a hard kick to the ribs once more, until Lindsay has had enough and seeks the respite of the ring. Megan follows her in and quickly pulls the champ up, whipping her off the ropes and catching coming back with a clothesline that knocks Lindsay off of her feet. Megan isn't ready to go for the pin yet though, instead grabbing Lindsay and pulling her up again. A quick scoop and a slam follows, leaving Lindsay floundering on the canvas again.

COLE
Has Lindsay had any offence in this match yet?

COACH
Of COURSE she has! She's the Champ! She's the most dominant Women's Champion this federation has ever had, Mikey! You'd do well not to downplay her skills!"

COLE
When Lindsay does something to impress me, I will acknowledge it. So far, I'll admit...she falls over like a real pro.

COACH
Oh, SHUT UP!

Pulling Lindsay up again, Megan takes her time about bringing Lindsay up to her feet... before reeling back and slapping her back down, to a roar from the crowd! This time, Lindsay is quick to get up of her own accord, but Megan catches her with a boot into the ribs. A hard kick into the kidneys follows, before Megan pulls Lindsay up and pushes her back into the corner. Lindsay slumps into the buckles, unable to block a clothesline from Megan... or another deep kick into the ribs from the part-time kickboxing enthusiast. The Champion is in serious trouble as she staggers out of the corner, with Megan grabbing her by the hair and hurling Lindsay backwards into the buckles. Lindsay flies into the corner with velocity and falls into a seated position again, but is quickly pulled back up by Megan and placed in a side headlock. Desperately Lindsay pushes Megan forwards, but Megan hangs onto the hair, which Hebner misses, pulling Lindsay right back into the side headlock and quickly down with a bulldog!

COLE
Another big move by Megan, who's really impressing here. But she's still yet to go for a cover.

COACH
That's because she's a vindictive little trollop, who wants to pick poor Lindsay apart rather than simply taking her title!

COLE
You were her biggest fan five minutes ago.

COACH
I know! I hate this, it's Sophie's Choice and I want them both!

Lindsay is down on the canvas and it seems the end is near, as Megan slowly peels The Latina Bitch off the mat and grabs her by the wrist. After a quick push back, Megan yanks Lindsay back into a short-arm clothesline, diving to the mat with Lindsay on impact and finally making the first pinfall of the match...


1...





2...





KICKOUT!

As Lindsay stares blankly into space after her kickout, Megan grabs another two handfuls of hair and pulls her to her knees before lashing her across the chest with another stinging kick. Gasping, Lindsay reaches forward and grabs Megan by the pants, pulling her forwards...


...but Megan gets her hands up to block a throat-first collission with the middle rope. Lindsay pulls herself back up gallantly, blissfully unaware that Megan is stalking behind her again. Until a kick lashes across Lindsay's kidney area, dropping the champion to her knees in an instant. Again Megan is right on the attack, cupping a hand under Lindsay's chin while she fires away with a series of punches directly across the cheek and jaw area of her opponent. Each shot rocks Lindsay, until the last connects and Gonzalez flops face first to the canvas.

COLE
Megan Skye, dominating!

COACH
With fists. Whoopee. She's hardly Jumping Bomb Angel material.

At this point, we split-screen backstage to where LANDON MADDIX is watching this on a monitor in his dressing room. The World Champion looks the picture of smugness, lounged back in his chair and absent-mindedly caressing his title belt.

Live action meanwhile, Megan steps over Lindsay and pulls her to her feet, by the hair again which gets a reprimand from Hebner, before whipping Lindsay into the ropes. As Lindsay rebounds off the ropes, Megan ducks her head... about a week too early, allowing Lindsay to dive forward and drive a double axehandle across the shoulder blades of the challenger. Megan falls to the mat, while Lindsay lands up on her knees, where she takes the chance to catch a breather.

COLE
And there, finally, is some offense by Gonzalez.

With her breath regained, Lindsay turns Megan onto her shoulders and makes a desperate cover...


1...






2...





No.

Sure enough, Lindsay has had more than enough of her challenger's dominance and reaches down, clawing into Megan's face with her long fingernails and getting a good couple of handfulls of flesh before racking her hands away. Megan grabs her scratched and clawed at face, while Lindsay reaches down and grates away again... this time going to the eyes.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Squealing away, Megan clutches at her eyes while Hebner reprimands Lindsay, who groggily pushes him away before pulling Megan back up.

COACH
Now we're going to see how a real woman wrestles!

With Megan temporarily blinded, Lindsay takes the opportunity to drive his knee into her gut before whipping the challenger across the ring. Megan hits the turnbuckles, stumbling back out and into a powerslam from Lindsay. Quickly, Lindsay is down to make the cover...



1...






2...





No!

Lindsay's managerial instincts instantly kick in, with the urge to slag off the referee for a slow count proving too much to resist. Megan is already struggling to her feet in the corner. Quickly Lindsay walks in and nails Megan with a primitive looking slap, before placing a foot underneath Megan's chin and showing great flexibility in choking Megan in the corner! Flexibility that even some of the crowd have to show respect for.

COACH
Oh PRL, wherever you are, I wish I was you. More-so than usual. Oh, my!

Releasing the choke on the referee's count of four, Lindsay bows out to the crowd and thanks them for the mainly non-existant applause... and those that did exist quickly peeter out, leaving only boos. Lindsay shrugs them off, turning back to Megan and slapping her across the face. And again, this time with a backhand! Megan swings out with a kick though, which catches Lindsay directly in the hamstring. Only for Lindsay to fire back with an eye gauge, again temporarily blinding Megan and leaving her open to be wheeled around and thrown face-first into the top turnbuckle.

"LIND- SAY SUCKS!"
"LIND- SAY SUCKS!"
"LIND- SAY SUCKS!"

Back staggers Megan, as Lindsay grabs a hold of her flowing blonde locks and headbutts her in the back of the head...



...which has an affect on both women, with Megan collapsing into the turnbuckles face-first and Lindsay stumbling backwards groggily, arms flapping away to keep herself upright.

COLE
That wasn't well advised on the Champion's part.

The Champion recovers first though, grabbing Megan and spinning her around into a foot to the gut. Megan doubles over, getting caught in a front facelock... but before she can execute a DDT, Megan's (albeit basic) training pays dividends as she finds the escape to spin behind Lindsay with a hammerlock on. Wearily Lindsay fires back with an elbow, ducked by Megan who is in perfect position for a northern lights suplex. But she hesitates and allows Lindsay to fall back and drop Megan with the DDT.

COACH
See! That's what you get for doubting Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez!

With Megan's head bouncing off of the canvas, Lindsay sees her chance and hooks an arm under Megan's head, using her legs to cradle the challenger over into a pin...


1...







2...







KICKOUT!

COLE
You do get the feeling here that Gonzalez wants this match over with as quickly as possible. Considering it was her man PRL who suggested this match, it's almost ironic.

COACH
You know what else is ironic? Woman's Lib.

COLE
I see. Send all complaints directly to the OAOAST folks.

Lindsay glares down at Megan, cursing that she was able to kick out. Angrily she takes out her frustrations out on Megan Skye's face, leading with her fingernails like she was Vega out of Street Fighter and scratching down the challenger's face! The screeching eminating from Megan Skye makes the scene look shocking similiar to someone scratching their nails down a blackboard. And just to complete the disturbing scene, the scratches she gives Megan are clearly permanent... leaving Megan with four red, bleeding marks on the side of her cheek!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!"

COLE
Ugh, that is disgusting. That's verging on the realm of savagery Robert!

COACH
God I hope my TiVO is catching this...

COLE
COACH!

COACH
Huh?

As the four deep scratches on her face begin to ooze with blood, Megan clutches the side of her cheek and is rather alarmed to see a considerable amount of blood on her hand as she pulls it away. Meanwhile, Lindsay is lining up the challenger, waiting for her to get up. And when she does, Gonzalez shows her own kicking ability with a Crescent Kick! Quickly, Lindsay drops down and makes the pin...


1...






2...






NO!


"LET'S GO MEG - AN!"
*clap clap clapclapclap*

"LET'S GO MEG - AN!"
*clap clap clapclapclap*

"LET'S GO MEG - AN!"
*clap clap clapclapclap*

Sneering at the chants, Lindsay reaches down and grabs Megan by the hair, pulling her up from the canvas as Hebner has all but given up on reprimanding anyone for hair-pulls by now. Lindsay throws Megan towards the ropes and runs off the opposite set, coming back and connecting with a clothesline. Megan hits the mat again, still concerned with her bleeding face, while Lindsay stops and poses for the fans which earns her some more boos.


Split-screen again, this time it's THA PUERTO RICAN. PRL is like a boxing trainer, shouting instructions and compliments and basically providing his own commentary to the match. It's worth noting he looks to have been sweating buckets not so long ago.


Meanwhile, pulling Megan back off of the canvas, Lindsay smiles broadly as she looks at the damage she's done to Megan's looks while delivering a knee to the gut. Another connects and a second, leaving Megan gasping for air, while Lindsay pulls her head back by the hair and starts to smear the blood on Megan's cheek all over her face!!!

COACH
That's guaranteed to ruin your make-up Cole.

COLE
Self-proclaimed or not, Lindsay certainly is a bitch.

With her face now smeared with red streaks, Megan looks a total mess as Lindsay winds up and looks to slap the sense out of the challenger...



...but Megan finds enough awareness to duck the slap, catching Lindsay on the way around and hitting her with a big-time atomic drop! Lindsay grabs the base of her spine, wobbling uneasily on her feet as Megan spins her back around and nails a vicious slap of her own, spinning Lindsay in a 360 to the mat. But again, the scratches on her cheek are bothering Megan and she starts to attend to her face. As she does, Megan turns in the direction of the big screen set up above the stage...and finally, for the first time, she notices the blood wiped across her face and looks horrified.


Then unhappy.




And then...


...just plain pissed off.



"YOU...



BIIIIITCH!!!"

COACH
Uh-oh.

Letting out a dramatic war-cry, Megan turns around to Lindsay with her fists and teeth clenched... damn near shaking with anger as Lindsay has gotten back to her knees and asks for a time-out. But she gets nothing of the sort, recieving a kick to the face instead!

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Down goes Lindsay, but quickly Megan grabs her by the hair and literally hauls the Women's Champion back up to her feet before pushing her back into one corner of the ring and unleashing an furious flurry of stiff kicks to the ribs and breadbasket!

COLE
Look at Megan go!!

COACH
Bitches be trippin' Comet, bitches be trippin'! I warned ya'll!

As the last kick connects, Megan roars in intensity and turns away from the corner, while Lindsay simply slumps into a seated position in the corner, thankful for any chance of a break at this point. Quickly Megan turns back around though, hauling Lindsay back up to her feet again and slapping Lindsay with such force that she spins around and falls across the middle rope. Quickly, Megan moves in and ruthlessly starts to choke the champ!

"ONE!"
"TWO!"
"THREE!"
"FOUR!"
"FI..."

Megan breaks on five only to go right back to the choke again for another five count. Lindsay has the look of shock etched back on her face again, shocked at the sudden ass-kicking she's getting again and the pain she must be in. Pulling Gonzalez off of the rope, Megan pulls her around and irish whips her across the ring. Lindsay has just about enough left to hook the top rope however, stopping her momentum and forcing Megan to bring the fight to her. But as she charges in, Lindsay raises a foot and catches Megan square in the jaw. Megan's legs collapse under her and she falls to her ass, but is quickly back up... only to take a straight kick to the gut. Lindsay then grabs some more of Megan's hair and suddenly sits out, driving Megan face-first into the mat with an X-Factor and quickly rolling her over for the pin...


1...







2...







KICKOUT!

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
Kickout by Megan, and look at the shock on the Champion's face!

Once again, the managerial instincts of Lindsay take over as she's right on referee Hebner's case, complaining that if he needs help counting to three he shouldn't be in the damn ring. Hebner brushes off the insults though (after all, he's a referee...he's used to them), while Lindsay starts to pull Megan up from the canvas. However, all of a sudden, Megan dives forwards and plants a headbutt deep into the breadbasket of the Champ!


With both women down, we split-screen to PRL's dressing room...



...to find him gone.

COLE
Uh... okay, that doesn't bode well.

COACH
Relax, he's probably just in the cra...

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

COACH
Okay, nevermind

Sure enough, those boos are for THA PUERTO RICAN on his way to the ring! And moments later, PRL stopping in shock as LANDON MADDIX runs right past him!

COLE
Wait a minute... BOTH of them!?

COACH
See, they're so on the same page, if only they could patch things up and be best friends. The world would be a better place. The OAOAST world that is.

Realising they've launched simultaneous run-ins, Landon and PRL forget all about what they were actually doing and turn towards each other, berating each other for not trusting their girlfriends to fight for themselves.


Which is the perfect excuse for ZACK MALIBU to storm out and nonchalantly knock the two on their asses with a double clothesline!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
OH IT'S BREAKIN' DOWN IN BOSTON!!

With the crowd roaring, Zack puts the boots to PRL and Landon indiscriminately in the aisleway. Leaving Megan and Lindsay both watching on from the ring, having forgotten all about their match. For a moment that is, until Lindsay suddenly sneaks behind Megan and schoolgir... NO, Megan switches, schoolgirling Lindsay...


1...







2...







NO, KICKOUT!!

Both women rush to their feet and Megan connects with a quick kick. The challenger then backs into a corner and goes to the middle rope, ready to deliver the Skye Lyte. In the aisleway though, the numbers have inevitably caught up with The Franchise and Landon has taken over on the offence, leaving PRL free to run to the ring and provide the distraction. Megan falls for it and jumps off the ropes to grab PRL as he climbs to the apron...




...only to get pulled down by Landon and subjected to a flurry of forearm shots! Megan looks bemused for a second but with her man in control, she backs away...



...into a side headlock from Lindsay, the Women's Champion kicking off the ropes and PLANTING Megan face-first with the LATINA BITCH JAM!!!

COACH
Got it!

Lindsay rolls Megan over and makes a hurried hook of the leg, urging the ref to hurry up and count as Landon now tries to dodge past the blocking PRL...


1...







2...







...but he won't make it in time...


3!!!!

*DINGDINGDING!*

Landon gets to the pinfall seconds too late, shoving Lindsay off of his lady anyway before cursing to himself. Which allows PRL to sneak up behind and strike him in the back of the head with his $500 shoe!!

COLE
The match is over but the battle is just beginning for the AngleSlam main-eventers!!

PRL lands with some shaky leg kicks on Landon, briefly glancing at Megan who lays beside him but deciding not to be THAT much of a jerk. Not tonight at least. As PRL continues to layeth that smacketh down though, here comes the third man, Zack Malibu! Even the erupting Boston crowd doesn't alert PRL, as he gets spun around and peppered with a series of right hands from The Franchise!!

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

Still shaking from the kicks, Landon decides 'to hell with this' and bails, dragging a still only semi-conscious Megan with him. The SWF Power Couple escape the ring and head up the aisle, Megan being propped up by Landon as he watches happily the battle continue in the ring. Zack loads up PRL for an irish whip, sending him airborne with a BAAAAAACK bodydrop on the rebound!

COACH
Come on, get some officials around here, ring the bell a couple-dozen times, DO SOMETHING!

COLE
AngleSlam has come early and we might be about to see another PPV early in a second...

Setting, Zack encourages PRL to his feet. The Corporate Champion pulls himself to his feet, stopping to dust off his obsenely expensive shirt before turning around into...


COLE
SCHOOL'S OUT...



NOO!! PRL sees it coming and dives backwards, rolling himself out of the ring and to safety!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Zack is still hot and he points the finger at Landon, mouthing the words "This Sunday" to him as he continues to retreat towards the back. Collecting the victorious Lindsay, PRL also sends a message to Landon by pointing out "my baby's still the Champ!" And Landon watches on, trying to keep a confident look on his face.

COLE
Man oh man, AngleSlam just got a whole lot hotter! Don't miss it, three days away, call your local cable company and we'll see you from THE GARDEN~!!




FADE OUT.