Chanel #99 Posted April 24, 2017 Report Share Posted April 24, 2017 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD RENNE Ladies and gentlemen we are mere days away from SluttyMania 3, so what do you say we get this party started?! ***Cinnamon Spoons W/ChubChub Vs Jobette Burr*** Cinnamon came ready to beat "some baddies" and show Reagan what she can be prepared for at AngleMania! And things looked good for Cinnamon until Maggie and Reagan interfered with Teddy loitering sipping a scotch on the rocks. The ref got distracted and Reagan blasted Cinnamon with a cursed chair and knocked her out to give Jobette her first win! Ever! Winner: Jobette Burr, via pinfall Thanks to video provided by Melody Nerdly (who was live streaming during last week's closing segment from the world famous backstage interview lounge), the OAOAST Galaxy witnessed other OAOAST talent/staff scatter the area after an irate TONY BRANNIGAN shattered the big screen TV tossing a STEEL CHAIR! Melody shrieks. TB storms off in a rage. MELODYOhmygod! Did you guys see that? Tony Brannigan is pissed! Me too. I can't believe Tyler Bryant would sic THE FLEX on Sophie like that. Asshole. Got what he had coming at the end, didn't he?(laughs)You got it, VinceCarterIzGod. You spell karma B-L-A-I-N-E. Back LIVE!, OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood is joined by Tony Brannigan (still agitated by last week... and rightfully so) at the aforementioned world famous backstage interview lounge (complete with new big screen TV). SARATony, we've just seen the video. What happened last week really upset you, as it did so many. BRANNIGAN Are you sure? Because I don't see any outrage. As a matter of fact, all I saw over the weekend on the news were people protesting tax returns! Not one sign, not one chant, not even a hashtag about the disrespect directed my way last week. SARAUh, I'm not sure we're on the same page here. I was referring to the incident last week involving Tyler Bryant, THE FLEX and Sophie. I figured that's what had you upset in the video supplied to us by Melody. BRANNIGAN Make no mistake about it, dirtbags like Tyler and friends got even dirtier last week. They know if they tried fucking with someone like me it'd be them laying on their back spread eagle, so they prey on the weak. But what got my blood rushing wasn't their Kink audition, it was Blaine Cayley coming back and inserting himself in the main event of AngleMania. That might be the only thing Tyler Bryant and I can agree on. Blaine at least could've had the courtesy to give me a heads up about interfering in my affairs. Instead not only am I blindsided, but I'm left to look like a fool along with millions of others in the OAOAST Galaxy who thought Blaine was gonna announce his retirement. SARAIn fairness, as Mr. Money in the Bank, Blaine did select AngleMania to cash in months ago. BRANNIGAN It's no secret Blaine caught a tough break. But while he sat at home wondering whether injury ended his career prematurely, I set the world of sports and entertainment afire winning the Lethal Rumble 10 years after being put into retirement in the first place because of a battle royal. The feel good story of the year... until last week. That's the problem with the world today. Nobody has any respect. SARAI gotta be honest. I'm shocked to hear that's what you were really hot over. BRANNIGAN The reality is, I've done more for this company than everybody whose ever worked here combined. A little respect isn't too much to ask for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2017 The All XFL Team, well Brock, Mathis and Xavier along with Rhaenys and Alysanne were in front of an OAOAST logo to cut a promo. ALYSANNE This is an exciting time! So many of us can do such great things. Myself and Rhaenys in the SluttyMania Payday Battle Royal- RHAENYS Just me, little sister. Just me, doing great things, like it always is and always will be. But certainly I'm nothing compared to you, bae. THE XFL Ain't nobody anything compared to me! OAOAST roster, watch ya ass, watch my wallet fill up when I take that cash in the AngleMania Payday Battle Royal. Watch me win! GOLDEN TurboBitch, you think you'll win back the 24/7 title at AngleMania? You won't! You'll get your ass turned out in Northern California like a San Fran faggot! Trust me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2017 Backstage our faux GM stood behind her Anti Bobbi task force, which is odd considering she's a vampire! But Tyler was let through the sea of people to speak his peace. TYLER I had a glass of wine in my limo, I thought I cooled down, but I am hot. GLASS JULIET Upupupu! You can say that again, sugar muffin! I'd hump a potato sack with your face on it. Effie sure has! TYLER Appreciate that, Juli, but I mean I'm hot as in mad. All this time carrying this company on my back and I can not get the respect I deserve! GLASS JULIET Ohhhhhh? Please go on! TYLER I'm one man, but I hear rumors, no worse I hear that long haired idiot Blaine tell me I have to face him at AngleMania. I'm not a numbers guy, but that's two people who hate my guts gunning for a world title they don't deserve. The world title I've held longer than anyone! GLASS JULIET You can't know that, what if one of the warehouse workers held the belt once each day for 11 months. TYLER Gah! Stop taking everything I say the wrong way, didn't you go to U of M? GLASS JULIET Wolverine pride! TYLER You can't take this message the wrong way though, I will not fight two people at AngleMania, especially those two people. One has been, and one overrated scum of the earth. And I wan't you to think of what that means. It means no thrills, no bills. *money fingers* Tyler slips through the anti Bobbi task force and is on his way! ***Prince Alearys Chance W/King Landon Vs Keyboard Warrior CaliLivin*** Prince AC had no love for his fellow Cali native and instead mauled him in a most violent way. King Landon encouraged this, saying it needed to be an example to Tristian Nystrom and Northstar. But the 1000 year old vampire came running out and sent the king and prince running through the stands for an escape. No Contest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2017 Melissa and Anastasia were supposed to have a tag team match against AC finalist COD but Melissa refused to get out her limo. Josh Matthews investigated why... MELISSA I didn't turn that loon Cassidy Maguire blue! But everyone is saying I did that, and Jesus knows the truth and that should be what matters, but ya'll fools worked up Cassidy and got me fearing for my life. I gotta face them Delta trollops at SluttyMania, I get that, but ain't no one saying I gotta face Chicks Over Dicks! I'm am my capacity for loons and don't need know forty five year old crazies coming after me too! Not fighting tonight! No way! Backstage, OAOAST correspondent Terry Taylor introduced BARON WINDELS and MR. DICK as the Lone Star Gunslingers and got an earful from the guys. MISTER DICK Fuck off with that PG bullshit! We're the Dickslingers! BARON Slingin' seed and beatings is what we do. MISTER DICK So get it straight or we'll straighten you. TERRY *gulp* The talk turned to Molly Nerdly's challenge last week, one laughed off by the Dickslingers. MISTER DICK She doesn't have anybody. And even if she did, who could beat us? Nobody. TERRY Monsters Ink did -- to win the tag titles. BARON You know the real story behind that. And we've since buried the bastard responsible. MISTER DICK Face it. We're the most bad ass tag team in the world. You either gotta be lucky or cheat to beat us! But being a member of the media, you gotta know something about Molly's mystery team. TERRY Only what she said last week and what she posted earlier today on social media, that it's a team not currently on the OAOAST roster. MISTER DICK We're gonna slap around a couple dudes she found on Tinder. *laughs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2017 Terry Taylor had Oscar Friberg and Colin Maguire for a sitdown interview at OAOAST HQ. TERRY Colin, Oscar, you'll be teaming as a tag team at AngleMania for the first time ever against The Kings of the Heap, Leon Rodez and Teddy Buckworth. OSCAR I feel disgusted to have to team with him. COLIN On the contrary you should feel lucky I have allowed you to stand on the ring apron and learn from myself and my wisdom. OSCAR Stand on the ring apron? You're joking. I belong in the ring just as much as you. COLIN Perhaps one day you might. But the truth is now, not only are you an inferior grappler but you are a human. My might is what makes this opinion right. OSCAR I have beat you everytime we fought but once. COLIN Keep that one time as a comforting memory. My purpose against The Menagerie is personal, yours is simply a business matter, you eliminated Teddy from the Rumble, inconsequential, wait your turn in the line that will form when Sophie returns if you wish to complain. Leave me alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2017 In preparation for their Trios tag title match at AngleMania, Euphoria and Dem Bums invited OAOAST cameras to a training session... at MCDONALD'S! Yep, Tony Tourettes enjoyed a Big Mac while watching porn on a stranger's phone! When the gentlemen asked for his property back, Euphoria decked him and flexed afterwards! EUPHORIA I am woman. Hear me roar. ROAR! CUSTOMERS Vinny Valentine slumped in his chair visibly embarrassed. Things got even wild and crazier when Euphoria showed Tony T a trick, making her Grand Mac "disappear" under the table. Then she spread her legs, lighting Tony T's eyes like a kid on Christmas. She pushed Tony's head down and giggled as he ate the burger stuffed in her... well, you know! TONY T Nom, nom, nom, NOM! CONCERNED CUSTOMER Suddenly PETE-O pops in. PETE-O Couldn't agree with you more, miss! (sees Tony T down on Euphoria) I didn't know you could get juice with your burger! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2017 Glass Juliet and Effie Reese made their way to the ring so that Glass could address her mounting problems. GLASS JULIET Why hellooooo, world! I hope you're doing pleasingly well. I sure ain't! This new job has a lot of headaches! Do I deserve to be attacked and challenged by Bobbi? Nope that's like a sumo wrestler being attacked by his hot pot! EFFIE But that's impossible! And scary! GLASS JULIET It sure is! And it's impossible for Bobbi to beat me at SluttyMania! I'm the most powerful, feared and cutest mascot alive! RENEE That creepy Spurs coyote might take the most feared title. GLASS JULIET But Tyler...his headache is my headache. TyTy lets help each other! Tyler and crew entered the ring with Lorelei looking sexy and sparkling but none of the three being welcomed by the fans EFFIE What a thin reaction! Like Michelle Obama walked in on burger day at elementary school lunch. LORELEI Effie, Glass Juliet thank you for realizing that thrills pay the bills and being willing to work with us. We need more people like you in this industry. RENEE No we don't! TYLER Tony Brannigan, Blaine Cayley you all are still trying to catch up to my old shit, but all your talks about kicking my ass proves you're like gangsters talking to the cops, you don't know shit. Whatever gift Glass is going to give you the truth is you're only fit to clean my Currys. GLASS JULIET TyTy, you are the rightest man since the founder of the GOP. You shouldn't fight twice at AngleMania so whoever wins the AM match between Blaine and Anthony gets to challenge you in the mainevent! COACH Glass is cooking! But Next Ones To Come hit to a huge ovation and Sammi bravely faces the grouping of heels! SAMMI Glass the cosplay of someone with half a brain cell is totally failing. Try harder. Lucky for us sane people the REAL boss who runs this place is making one hell of a recovery! The crowd cheered for that! SAMMI In fact she's already ahead of schedule and making big calls. TYLER What does that mean?! SAMMI If you keep quiet I'll tell you, boy. Tyler you WILL be fighting two times in one night at AngleMania...well that's if you can win your first match against either Tony or Blaine. Then you can face the other man and by that time your luck should be out. If you don't like it Sophie says she understands your desire to vacate the belt. Other wise it's the past vs the present vs the future! RENEE Now that is huge! TYLER God damn it! God damn it! What the hell is happening to this fed?! SAMMI It has a champ who won't fight two guys at once. LORELEI Unacceptable! Lorelei grabbed Sammi by the wrist to stop her from leaving but Sammi smacked her in the face to a big pop. But then Sammi got surrounded by FLEX and TYLER! RENEE Oh no! This is bad! COACH Especially after what happened to Sophie! But again BLAINE made the save bashing the dudes with his lacrosse stick and sending the females running away. As Blaine and Sammi soaked in the cheers, Tony Brannigan watched backstage with an unreadable expression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2017 ***Sugar Belleflair, Melissa Nerdly, Anastasia Violetta, Morgan Nerdly Vs Delta Delta Delta Vs Sunrise (Bobbi Cheesecake, Annagret Wickedborn, Dasha Yuschenko and December Belle)*** A very hard match to officiate for poor Earl Hebner came with a lot of bickering, cat fighting and hot T&A. The result wasn't so pleasant to the fans though as the end came when Sugar was able to deliver a belt shot to Pierette and secure the win for Pretty Young Money! Winner: PYM, via pinfall FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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