Chanel #99 Posted January 30, 2017 Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD RENEE Fans and super fans we are just days, just days away from rolling down the road to SluttyMania and AngleMania as we head into AnglePalooza, one of the hottest shows of the year! And speaking of hot we have Anderson Cup action with four pairs of super hot tag teams, hot in more ways than one! ANDERSON CUP ACTION BIG VS TANNER NEPTUNE & MARC BENNETT C02 VS ALEXANDER THE MAGNIFICENT & A$AP BLONDIETONIGHT Standing in the ring an AngleMania polo shirt and black pants is Terry Taylor. TAYLOR Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, I have been tasked with helping to answer the question, does Hotties Champion, Sugar Belleflair have cooties? The petition was signed last week to get her tested, and the board of directors gave the go ahead for Sugar to be tested. Now we get to the truth. Stand on the bar, stomp your feet, start clapping Got a real good feeling something bad about to happen As “Something Bad” hits the crowd taunts and jeers Sugar who is in an even worse mood than usual. Attired in a ruby red Flair style robe, the Hotties champion looks more the angry teenager she is than cousin of Ric Flair as she stomps to the ring. SUGAR I don't credit any of ya with knowing much about anything, but I gotta think you all got to the arena so you ain't Eugene level retarded. Ya know things, and you know I ain't got no cooties! “PROVE IT! PROVE IT! PROVE IT!” TAYLOR That's what we are here to do. Announce the results of Sugar's cooties test. And let's welcome the woman behind all this... Hey, hey I let you walk all over me, me You know that I’m a little tease, tease But I wanna play there please, please “Bad Girl” plays to a huge pop and professions of love, for the leggy miniskirt wearing Annagret Wickedborn, who smiles and waves to the fans on her way to the ring. TAYLOR Annagret, would you like to tell us about it. ANNAGRET Ugh, I have to do all the work. Next you'll ask me to explain what's so great about black dick. Its big and black and its a dick, that's why black dick is great. This kid is short, mean and infested with the parasitus cootius virus. SUGAR You better watch who you're talking to! ANNAGRET I'm talking to a piss ant geek, when I could be playing the dark skin flute. You're lucky I took time out of my day to help you clear your name. SUGAR I ain't a criminal! I'm an honest girl who never did nobody no harm. RENEE Well.... TAYLOR Shall we get to the results. I spent these waking hours waiting for the sandman I spent these waking hours looking for his master plan I’ll wait ‘til morning ‘til he comes to my house And he’ll give no warning when he’s knocking me out As “Sandman” hits a big pop explodes for December Belle who arrives in purple booty shorts and a glossy red tank top with the Anglepalooza logo blazed on it. DECEMBER Am I too late for the Goonies test? SUGAR The what?! Have you taken leave of your last sense? DECEMBER No, I don't carry loose change. SUGAR Ya dang fool, this is a cooties test! Not a Goonies test. DECEMBER I spent a lot of time studying for this Goonies triva night. ANNAGRET That's hard to believe. How much is a lot of studying time to you? DECEMBER Ten minutes. ANNAGRET Ugh, just read the results of the cooties test to the world, Terry. TAYLOR This test was conducted by Jormungandr and Fenrir- SUGAR Those are supernatural freaks! ANNAGRET They used to be human. And doctors. Duh. SUGAR Well, I can't argue that... TAYLOR Sugar....you have tested positive for the most advanced, nastiest strain of cooties! SUGAR Whaaaaaat?! “YOU HAVE COOTIES! YOU HAVE COOTIES! YOU HAVE COOTIES!” SUGAR I have cooties?! No, your mom has cooties! Yer sisters have cooties! Every female in your families has cooties and that's why your dads are still out buying a six pack thirteen years later, ya bums! ANNAGRET The proof is in the Swiss Miss pudding, Tiny Tim. You have cooties. SUGAR This is all yer doing! Sugar winds up with her Hotties title ready to bash Annagret, but December doesn't like that idea and holds Sugar's arm to stop her. However, this allows Annagret to smash her with a big boot that launches poor Suge out of the ring! “YYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” December is concerned while everyone else is delighted, and reaches out to help Sugar, but the Hotties Champ blows her off. SUGAR I ain't gonna forget this, you two! I'm an Elephant! I don't forget, and I'll trample ya like bugs, ya dang hookers! Hmph! Sugar storms off, yelling at the crowd to quit saying she has cooties, as Annagret parades the results about the ring whereas December is saddened by her cousin's humiliation. ANGLEPALOOZA 2017! LIVE FROM WASHINGTON DC! THIS SUNDAY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 ***Anderson Cup, Chris Cage Bracket Semifinal: Big IQ Vs Marc Bennett and Tanner Neptune W/The Doll*** Handshaking abounded early on to start this semi final match. RENEE This is a huge huge test for Tanner and Marc. COACH And a hell of a chance to for Big IQ to show they still on top. CW outwrestled Tanner to start which The Doll didn't like, but she sure liked when CW smiled at her. COACH Cuff ya chick, TanTan. Tanner tried to show his stuff on the technical end, but Wright kept control and still smiled at The Doll. RENEE I'm jelly. WRIGHT RENEE I love him. IQ got the tag and pressed CW into a shoulder block on Tanner! But Tanner used his speed to tag the big man with a pair of drop kicks. Then Money Marc got the tag and hit a missile drop kick for two. From there he proceeded to work over Ice Quiz's legs to keep the big man at a small level. ICE QUIZ Hell naw, this gonna fuck up my jumpshooting form! WRIGHT Perhaps more focus on the Anderson Cup would be best, my lord. IQ regained the focus needed and bodyslammed both his upstart foes then impressed the crowd with a We Be Clubbin elbow drop to them both. ICE QUIZ Get ya club on! “YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The Doll rooted on her boys, mostly Marc actually, which didn't help Tanner who got grounded by the former tag team champions. The Florida native had to kickout of not only a frog splash from Wright and Check Yo Self Fool pump handle slam from IQ. The pump handle slam got a close count so IQ tried it again. But Tanner escaped and spun his big foe around to hit a reverse STO! RENEE Tan It Like You Mean It! From there the tag was made to Money Marc, who got a huge pop and continued to show his stuff by taking down the former tag champs with a pair of superkicks. Wright was able to recover, though and stunned Marc with a Wright Off sky high! “OOOOOHHHHHHHHH!” Ice Quiz loaded up the big boot, but Tanner sprung off the top rope to connect with a back elbow! The Ingelwood native was wobbly and got hit with a tornado DDT by Tanner then a rolling thunder! RENEE Young Wild and Tan! COACH Yo, these young boys is cooking! Wright pitched Tanner out of the ring, but lost sight of Marc which got him in biiiig trouble as the Austin native hit him with a Burning Hammer! Wright rolled out in pain and IQ took over to throw a big boot, but Marc ducked it and school boy'ed him to make a second upset victory for the group! Winner: Marc Bennett and Tanner Neptune, via pinfall RENEE Amazing! Another HUGE HUGE HUGE upset for Tanner Neptune and Marc Bennett! COACH The fuck they putting in their Wheaties? The Doll was all smiles and pride as she raised the hands of her charges who soaked in the fans cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 Rhaenys was interviewed in the interview set by Josh Matthews, and the world found out that she will be in the Lethal Bang! RHAENYS My bae is all about winning, don't you know? And while he's winning the six man titles, I'll be sucking and fucking my way to fame and fortune by winning the Lethal Bang. MATTHEWS What about Alysanne? Will she be in the bang! RHAENYS Ha! You have to ask her. I'm looking out for number one...my bae, Xavier Franklin Long. Love ya, bae! *** The X.F.L., Mathis Golden & Brock Ausstin vs. Guy Goode, Baby Face & Van Everett *** Prep work for their Trios title shot at Anglepalooza. Total squash X scored the W following the Long Bomb on Baby Face, a local talent with boyish looks, hence the nickname. Winners: The X.F.L., Brock Ausstin & Mathis Golden. LIVE THIS SPRING! SLUTTYMANIA 3, and ANGLEMANIA 3000~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 THE DAY IS MY ENEMY! THE NIGHT MY FRIEND! “The Day is My Enemy” plays to a rocking ovation from the sold out audience as Colin Maguire Jr enters in his trademark Irish style tights! RENEE Colin looks ready to fight! COACH That's the last dude who's bad side I wanna be on. Colin enters the ring with a microphone. COLIN Let us be perfectly clear, Mister Buckworth is avoiding me, and has been mysteriously silent since I cost him his chance at Anderson Cup glory. Is his master Leon telling him to bide his time, or is Reagan whispering advice to stay away from me along with sweet nothings into his ear? Let me give a voice to that look on all your faces, Mister Buckworth turned towards more than the dark side, he has turned into a coward as well. “YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Yo, don't be saying that shit about Mister B. RENEE Mister B? This isn't Saved By The Bell no matter who The Franchise was. COLIN The saintly noble Mister Buckworth was given the gift of a second chance by his bastard friend, and when mere communication would ease his pain, he has constantly chosen the wrong path, the path of the devil's eyes and the coward's actions. The Menagerie has made a very offensive time of my life, and they deserve utter destruction, but Mister Buckworth it is you and you alone I have a fight for. Your indiscretions deserve a stake through the heart, but I will settle for a Biotic Crisis and a 1-2-3! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” I was reminiscing just the other day, While having coffee all alone and Lord, it took me away. Back to a first-glance feeling on New York time. Back when you fit in my poems like a perfect rhyme. Took off faster than a green light, go, Hey, skip the conversation when you already know. I left a note on the door with a joke we’d made, And that was the first day. And darling, it was good never looking down. And right there where we stood was holy ground. Colin doesn't get Teddy though as playing over the speakers is “Holy Ground” and out comes Cinnamon Spoons dressed smartly in her favorite secretary outfit. COLIN This is unexpected. CINNAMON I'm out here to to get you to help me help Teddy! COLIN Help him? You wish to help him? CINNAMON Sure do! What kind of friend would I be if I didn't wanna help him. No matter what, I've said goodbye to all my free time for the foreseeable future to dedicate myself to help him out of his funk. COLIN Perhaps you do not grasps the severity of Mister Buckworth's alteration. The man you placed such faith in has taken that faith and casually discarded it into the garbage bin of all emotion, choosing instead to cloak himself in angst and malice. I'm afraid there is no helping, Mister Buckworth. CINNAMON Nope! I'm a capable Valkyrie and I'm gonna save Teddy! Before Colin can speak, he's attacked from behind by THE KINGS OF THE HEAP! “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE That's so dirty. So dirty. Soon, the rest of The Menagerie is entering the ring and beating on Colin! Cinnamon wants very much to help but she's tackled by Reagan and then has wine dumped on her head by Maggie! “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE That was low! There is some good coming in the form of Angel, but all she can do is beg and plead with The Menagerie to stop their actions, which they aren't about to do because a mother asks. RENEE Don't beat up Colin front of his mom, that's just not right. There's a buzz from the fans as a portly man is climbing over the guardrail! COACH Yo, its Sloppy Joe! But Sloppy can't even get into the ring before Silver kicks him back down! SILVER Too bad, Sloppy, you'll never amount to anything ever again! It is the hated heels who stand supreme with their arms raised in the center of the ring as the fans pelt them with jeeers. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 OAOAST World Champion Tyler Bryant cut a pretaped solo promo prior to our next match hyping his title defense at Anglepalooza vs. Spencer Reiger. *** Spencer Reiger vs. Job Burr *** Showcase for Spencer who picked up the W following a devastating Reiger Counter. Winner: Spencer Reiger, via pinfall. Post-match TYLER BRYANT and THE FLEX surrounded the ring. RENEE Don't tell me the champ and his muscle are gonna try to take out Spencer just like they did Blaine Cayley at the New Year's Spectacular! COACH Hey! They denied any role in that attack. If the intent was to rattle Spencer going into AP, Tyler and Flex failed. Instead he motioned the guys to bring it, popping the OAOAST Galaxy. COACH Somebody oughta let Spencer Reiger know there's a difference between bravery and stupidity, because right now he's being stupid. As Tyler and Flex climbed onto the apron, the OAOAST Galaxy popped again as the lights went out and returned with GLOSS standing tall next to her man wielding a STEEL CHAIR. RENEE The champ and his muscle aren't too keen on going after Spencer anymore. COACH Because they aren't stupid. Don't you see the manic in the ring with a weapon! Tyler retreats up the ramp, telling Spencer he'll see him at Anglepalooza. Recorded moments after HeldDOWN~! went off the air last week, OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood caught up with BARON WINDELS and MR. DICK in the locker room (both still on a high following BW's backstab on Ned Blanchard). So disturbed by BW's actions SJU was at a loss for words. In regards to the turn, BW went off on his former partner for claiming Mr. Dick was a danger to his career when Ned did more harm to it costing him the tag titles at the New Year's Spectacular. BARON Yet you try to sell me on Jock, a guy I've been to hell and back with, being a piece of trash? No Ned. YOU'RE TRASH! MR. DICK All I got to say is... Welcome back friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 *** 2017 Anderson Cup Semifinal: A$AP Blondie & Alexander The Magnificent vs. C02 *** The action was hot and heavy early and it had nothing to do with wrestling... but jiggling pecs! ALEXANDER JADE Growing frustrated by the minute Maya smacked Jade on the rear, shoving her towards ATM. MAYA Attack! Her plan backfired though. Instead the push sent Jade directly into the arms of ATM who scooped her up in a bear hug, the two locking eyes. Rather than apply the squeeze ATM rammed Jade back-first into the buckle! ALEXANDER *grunt* JADE Oh! Again. ALEXANDER*grunt* JADE OH! And again. ALEXANDER*grunt* JADE OHHHHHH! Jade crumbled to the mat face-first, a smile on her face. ATM was surprisingly exhausted himself, tagging out soon thereafter. RENEE Well, uh... that was different! As Jade remained laid out on her belly, Maya tagged herself in and wasted no time getting physical. Pleasure was involved but not in the Jade way. Here Maya enjoyed kicking Blondie's ass. MAYA Not the only blondie's ass I want to kick right now either! Jade finally got up, leaving behind a wet spot on the mat. COACH ATM left her soaked! The loaded flowers came into play once again, with ATM throwing it in the ring to Blondie only for Maya to intercept... except she quickly tossed it to Jade. MAYA I'm not ready to get married yet! Ever the romantic Jade cherished the flowers and set her sights on ATM, rushing back into his strong arms. Only this time she rammed him back-first into the buckle, asking him to sit on the top rope. ATM obliged and Jade WHACKED HIM WITH THE LOADED FLOWERS!!! "YYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BLONDIE JADE (to unconscious ATM) Sorry. Hope this doesn't ruin... Pleeeease call. I put out easy! With ATM out of the picture Blondie didn't last long, going down in defeat following iMaya. Winners: C02, via pinfall. Post-match Maya congratulated Jade, telling her she no longer has a desire to kick another blondie's ass, winking to the camera afterward. JADE Us readers know exactly what Maya meant. FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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