Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD (Man, I ain't got shit to say about WACK ASS southern hip-hop. wtf is w/rappers and these minstrel show names they got? Damn it's bad enough they fucking hip-hop up and dumbing the shit down to the point that a chimp can recite they ignant rhymes and dumb ass coon shuffles. But now their names sound like it came off the Minstrel Show "Weebie, Jibbs, Baby Huey," shit like that. That's how you can tell an emcee from a Rapper. What happened to names like Melle Mel, Big Daddy Kane, Ice-Cube, Q-tip, Method Man, DMC, Chuck D? Now you got rappers comin out with names like Jigaboo Slim! Coons and the whiteman got the game all FUCKED UP.)FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, and The OAOAST it is time for HeldDOWN! Rather then start with a shot of the arena, as is the custom, we're taken backstage where Maggie Nerdly, in usual goth-prep attire, holds microphone in front of a smirking Christian Wright's face. MAGGIE What's good ya'll? Turn up your volume, and pay your attention, because Maggie Nerdly, your girl on the scene, is about to give you what you need. A one on one exclusy with The Enterprise's Christian Wright. A few weeks backs I, by nature of standing where the director told me, got a HUGE interview with Leon Rodez, where he issued a challenge for a five on five match between him, D*LUX, and Chicks Over Dicks, against The Enterprise. Christian, here's your chance to holla back at Leon. WRIGHT Ah, our vagrant Leon Rodez. How delightful his post match regalement proved to be. Extending the sword of retribution to the throat of thyne Enterprise? A pauper's mistake to tempt the rage of kings, boy. Swift has your lust for revenge led you to an irrecoverable error. And to enslave innocent compatriots into your mummer's folly? Tsk, tsk, Leon Rodez. Tsk tsk. And for the fools to play audience to his invitation towards hell's doorstep? Too late and to their sorrow do they who misplace their faith in Leon's hands learn their fate. Maggie is already exasperated by the fact that everything Wright says goes over her head. MAGGIE I'm eighteen years old! I'm failing my freshmen composition class, and I can't even figure out how to make water evaporate in a room that's eighty six degrees for my Physics class! I don't understand what the heck your saying, man! I'm gonna ask you this one more time. Does The Enterprise accept Leon's challenge for a five on five match at Angleslam? WRIGHT But of course. MAGGIE Nice! Maggie Nerdly with the major scoops! Aw yeah! So, anyway, Leon's a guy not known to get all upset, but lately ya'll have made him go a little loco, still cute but kind of crazy. You gotta be a bit worried about the way the guy's been snapping lately, and how he keeps dropping mad threats on Teddy Moneymaker. WRIGHT Leon Rodez may paw at violence, but Mister Moneymaker shall suffer no swift destruction. The Enterprise waits like the deadliest of military at his orders. From the war council you behold on these televisual transmissions, to the rank and file stationed in our offices. What better blade then Mister Moneymaker to parry Leon's thrust and return with fatal blow to his heart? MAGGIE Oh, mos def! Moneymaker is mad ruthless, b! Suddenly Wright's face illuminates with a lunatic excitement. His hands reach into the air, grasping towards, concepts, ideas, and thoughts alien to us all. WRIGHT Ruthless? Aye, if only he were more so! He gives profaners such as Leon Rodez no quarter, no matter the kinship of his own allies! The power of Mister Moneymaker is the source of the gods! The Enterprise is a weapon born of his wisdom, capable of leveling the Heaven's themselves! A fitting cutlass carved for a true rajah of dynastic monopoly! MAGGIE I'm a Trivial Pursuit girl, but go on. WRIGHT Come Angleslam The Enterprise shall defy the will of these five curs and see the veins of our opposers, squeezed into a lifeless nothingness. The Enterprise's time draws nigh, Margaret! Our OAOAST holds no place for the names D*LUX, Leon Rodez, or Chicks Over Dicks. Upon August 26th the stain of their blood shall awash the surfaces of our ring! With a haughty chuckle, Wright arrogantly strides out of view. Thusly we're transported to Sofa Central where Double C waits to introduce tonight's festivities. COLE Folks, welcome to HeldDOWN! Tonight we're paying a visit to South Carolina! You just heard Christian Wright announce that there will be five on five bout at Angleslam, but don't look too far ahead, because there is still great action tonight! Zack Malibu will be in action against Vitamin X, The Gunslingers will finally get their hands on The Rockers, and we'll have a Battlebowl Tag Team match! All this and more on OAOAST HeldDOWN! COACH Can I talk now?NO!COMING UP NEXTWDW Lives OnBattlebowl tag team matchNEXTCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 COLE Well folks, earlier today it was announced that a Battlebowl battle royal will take place at Syndicated, with the winner meeting the WDW World champion at AngleSlam! Eight of the 16 spots have automatically been awarded to WDW holdovers, with the other eight to be determined in four Battlebowl tag team matches, the first of which is right now! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFERLadies and gentlemen, the following is a Battlebowl tag team match! *crowd cheers* BUFFERHere are the rules. Four names will be drawn at random, with the first two men drawn comprising one team, and the third and fourth man comprising the other. The winning team will advance to the Battlebowl battle royal at Syndicated, July 28, from London, England! And now, for the drawing. Cut to the AngleTron, where a small portrait of every OAOAST superstar is shown, with a flashing outline moving randomly around the boxes. The screen then changes, showing full-size pictures of each superstar at random, before finally stopping on...MARIANO! COLE And it's one of the Burrough Boys, Mariano! COACH Big opportunity for Mariano here, to go on to Battlebowl and potentially a shot at the World title! DJ Clue's Super Mario Remix hits, and Mariano makes his way to the ring, to the boos of the crowd. COLE He's got some big names to go through if he wants to get to that point, though! Mariano steps into the ring, as the music stops, and the drawing starts once again. The box moves around, then the pictures are shown, before stopping on...DR. MAX ANDERSON! COLE And here comes one of the Love Doctors, it's Dr. Max Anderson! Mariano waves his arm in disgust at the screen, as Bad Case of Loving You hits, and Anderson makes his way to the ring. COLE And here's another guy who would not normally get a chance to compete for a singles title of any kind, but via the random drawing, finds himself in the running for Battlebowl! (I typed "Battleblow" at first, LOL.) As the music stops, Mariano and Max stand in the same corner, but try to keep their distance. The drawing starts up once again, and the pictures shuffle before stopping on...CONQUISTADOR UNO! COACH This must be underdog night in the OAOAST! COLE One of the Conquistadors on his way out, I believe this is Uno...Gold Dust Woman plays, and Uno walks towards the ring. Uno is still posing in the middle of the aisle, as the drawing starts up once again, with the pictures stopping on...MISTER WARRIOR~!!! COACH Oh, no. COLE Oh my! COACH Don't tell me this lunatic is going to Battlebowl!Black Sweat hits, and MISTER Warrior runs through the curtains with his arms in the air, then starts pumping his right arm in the air, before hitting a clothesline on his own partner in the aisle! COACH See, look at this guy! He's beating up his own partner! COLE I think MISTER Warrior is a little confused with the procedings here! COACH He's a little confused with everything! MISTER Warrior slides into the ring, and runs to all four ropes, before stopping in mid-ring and pumping his arms in the air. As he is doing this, Mariano sneaks into the ring and hits a knee to the back! *DING DING DING* COLE And we're underway! COACH But MISTER Warrior's partner is still out on the floor! Mariano stomps away on MISTER Warrior, then backs into the ropes and hits a sliding dropkick! MISTER Warrior is still shaking on the mat as Mariano scales the ropes...and goes for the SOMERSAULT LEGDROP~!!!...but MISTER Warrior rolls out of the way and to the side of the ring, grabbing the ropes and shaking them! COLE And MISTER Warrior dodges that bullet, and he's shaking those ropes! Mariano hammers MISTER Warrior as he gets to his feet, and then does his dance around the ring! MISTER Warrior blocks a punch, and delivers a MASSIVE right of his own! And a second! And a third! MISTER Warrior runs to the ropes, and delivers a big clothesline! And a second! And a third! He then knocks Dr. Anderson off the apron with another big clothesline! COLE MISTER Warrior on a roll! MISTER Warrior swings blindly at the referee, who ducks, then pumps his arms into the air! COACH Look at this idiot! MISTER Warrior runs to the ropes, then back to the other side of the ropes, and floors Mariano with a big flying shoulderblock! MISTER Warrior then pumps his arms in the air once again, before lifting Mariano overhead, and dropping him to the mat! Uno is just climbing onto the apron as MISTER Warrior pounds on his own chest. He then slaps Uno on the hand, and drags him into the ring. COACH And now he tags out to his partner, who he already beat up! Warrior lifts Uno overhead, and presses him onto Mariano! COLE Look at this! 1... 2... 3!!! COACH You've got to be kidding me! COLE That may be the shortest match in Battlebowl history! MISTER Warrior and the Conquistador advance! BUFFERThe winners of the match, advancing to Battlebowl...the team of MISTER WARRIOR and CONQUISTADOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! COACH I don't believe this.Black Sweat plays, as MISTER Warrior pounds his chest and the referee raises Uno's hand, then MISTER Warrior runs to the ropes and floors both men with a double clothesline! COLE Oh, this guy's a maniac! COACH This guy's an idiot. COLE Another Battlebowl match to come tonight, as MISTER Warrior and Conquistador Uno advance to join the eight WDW holdovers already in the Battlebowl battle royal! Let's go to Josh! fukk u cole, let's not. A jarring montage of a coastal beach town rife with war torn streets, and overflowing with acts of bullet riddled brutality is shown. Interspersed over the scenes of chaotic bloodshed are near transparent closeups of major tag teams, such as Chicks Over Dicks, Team Heyross, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, etc. The soundtrack of booming operatic power perfectly matches the on screen urban hell. If you know what movie is being ripped off I will give you a dollar.Three Titles HI-YAH Tag Team Championship, WDW Tag team Championship, OAOAST World Tag Team Championship All alike in dignity In fair Minneapolis where we lay our scene From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean From forth the fatal brawl of these six foes The Heavenly RockersWDW Tag Team Champions Team HeyrossHI-YAH Tag Team champions The Mardi Gras Homewrecking CrewD*LUXThe South Central MilitiaOAOAST world tag team champions Chicks Over DicksA group of star-crossed titles are unified One and Only World Tag Team ChampionshipHeldDOWN~!August 2nd, Minneapolis, MinnesotaTag Team Scramble Cage Match to crown the first ever One and Only World Tag Team Champions. The video ends with an image of Logan Mann standing in the center of war stricken city, screaming into the sky. There's a powerful rise of violence within the music followed by a wrenching end. 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Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 Now we can go to Josh! JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, right now it's my pleasure to bring in the number one contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title, Zack Malibu! The distant sound of a crowd pop is heard, as Malibu steps into the shot, next to his old buddy J. Math. JOSH Zack, last week you stormed onto the scene during the contract signing once Anglesault revealed that you were due your rightful rematch against Landon Maddix. Now that the Angleslam main event has officially been made into a three way dance, what are your thoughts on the subject? MALIBU It's twofold, Josh. First off, I get a chance, inside Madison Square Garden no less, to recapture the World Title and gain a measure of revenge on Landon Maddix. Secondly, it gives me a chance to eliminate another problem within the OAOAST, The Lightning Crew. See, I know what it's like to be a target. Having earned my reputation by fighting my way to the top, having been the World Heavyweight Champion, I know what it's like when someone tries to make a name for themselves at your expense. Tha Puerto Rican and The Lightning Crew seemed to think lately that they could get a rub from coming after me, and Landon? Landon, I'll give you some credit...you took advantage of a situation you were rightfully entitled too, BUT, when it comes to face to face challenges, your spine melts. When you don't have Todd Cortez or The South Central Millitia or whoever else you suck up to on a given week, you back down. You and PRL, you both surround yourselves with these allies, these "friends" of yours, when the truth is that the both of you back yourselves into a corner so often that you need them to help pull you out. At Angleslam, I know the odds are against me. I know I'm up against two of the most hated men on the roster. I know I'm up against two men that want to take me out and get the credit for it. I know that my Angleslam track record isn't the greatest. I also know that I'm not treating this as just a shot at the title, oh no. This is redemption for Zack Malibu. This is about reclaiming the World Title, and gaining, by FORCE, the respect of two men who show an incredible lack of it. Landon, you should have learned from your old friend Bruce Blank what it means to go to the lengths that you did...because if I came back after the hell that man put me through, did you think some cracked ribs would make me fear you? Puerto Rican, did you think that by making your lackeys do some dirty work that it'd make me fear you any more? If anything, I respect you even less, because you hide behind the army you created, yet reap the benefits. You're hardly a leader, and Landon Maddix, you're hardly a champion. Come Angleslam, if not sooner, the cold hard truth is gonna come and smack you both in the face, likely in the form of my size 11 boot, get me? JOSH Sounds like you're prepared to make a statement at Angleslam, Zack. Tonight though, it seems that Tha Puerto Rican hopes to cut you off at the pass, because you're facing one of his closest allies in Vitamin X, a man who holds victories over some of your fellow OAOAST Originals. MALIBU That's exactly what I'm talking about, Josh. Tha Puerto Rican and Landon Maddix think they have this endless supply of curveballs they can throw my way. I'll take on Vitamin X tonight, then probably Cuban Wall next week, and Todd Cortez the week after that...I wouldn't be surprised if Landon has Megan get in the ring with me! The fact of the matter is this, and it's what I've been saying my whole career...I WELCOME these obstacles. Vitamin X wants me in the ring tonight, he's got me. Anyone else wants to take a shot, so be it. I've been a moving target for the past five years, so if PRL or Maddix think this is something new, they're sorely mistaken. Until there isn't a breath left in this body, I'm gonna keep coming at them. Matthews looks slightly concerned, yet impressed at Malibu's brutal honesty. Malibu then gives his old running buddy a pat on the shoulder and walks off, leaving the audience (and his two upcoming opponents) to let his words sink in.One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile Brought to you by The Hills - The Complete Second Season on DVDName: The Heavenly RockersMembers: Logan Mann & Synth EsizerFrom: Las Vegas, NevadaNickname: The greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-timeFinisher: Electric MelodyCareer Highlights: OAOAST World Tag Team Championship April 2, 2006 - August 27, 2006COMMERCIALAnd now, the OAOAST Backtracker! Brought to you by Blockbuster! Make It A Blockbuster Night!OAOAST HELDDOWN~! LAST WEEK Nick Patrick tells Colombian Heat and Cuban Wall the rules for the match and then tells Colombian Heat that he needs to take off his bling and put away the pimp cane. Heat removes his very expensive jewelry and throws it halfway across the ring. COACH That must have cost thousands of dollars, and yet he's throwing it away like that? What the hell? Is he really that stupid? COLE I don't know, Coach. I have no idea what he's doing. COACH You could say that for alot of the things he does. Nick Patrick is confused too, but he walks on over to pick up the jewelry and hand it over to a ringside attendant. Cuban Wall turns around to watch this. This gives Colombian Heat the perfect opportunity to take his pimp cane...and crack it over Cuban Wall's head when he turns around, breaking it in half! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH WHAT!? COLE He broke it! He broke it in half! COACH WHY DID HE DO THAT FOR!? Cuban Wall is dazed! He's stumbling, but he hasn't fallen yet! Colombian Heat throws the piece of the pimp cane he's got away, and then kicks the top half out of the ring. The crowd is going nuts. Colombian Heat grabs Cuban Wall and hooks him up. He then turns around, lifting Cuban Wall high up into the air! The crowd is going nuts! COLE That's 6 feet 7 inches he's got up in the air! That's two hundred and eighty five pounds he's holding up! COACH No! No! No! This isn't happening! This is NOT happening! Colombian Heat looks at the crowd with a smile on his face. He nods, looks up at Wall's feet, looks at the crowd, nods once again...and then drops Cuban Wall with the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE Colombian Necktie! Colombian Necktie! COACH No way! He cheated! He cheated! This shouldn't count! This should not count! Colombian Heat covers Cuban Wall, hooking his left leg. Nick Patrick, who did not see Colombian Heat hit Cuban Wall with the pimp cane since he was giving Heat's bling to the ringside attendant, watches all of this confused. COACH Ref! Ref! He cheated! He cheated! COLE It happened before the bell! I don't know if it'll matter! COACH It should! Colombian Heat is telling Nick Patrick to make the count! The ref has no other choice but to call for the bell. *DING DING DING* Nick Patrick rushes over and makes the count. Colombian Heat counts along. Cuban Wall is out cold. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (0:03) "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Wha--what--WHAT? WHAT? WHAT!? COLE The match is over! We've got a new 24/7 Champion! I don't believe this! Colombian Heat lets out a primal scream! He raises his hands in victory as "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing again. The crowd is going buck wild! BUFFER Here is your winner, and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Nick Patrick grabs the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt from Michael Buffer and hands it over to Colombian Heat. Heat is absolutely ecstatic! Nick Patrick raises his hands in victory while Cuban Wall continues lying on the mat, knocked out. COLE That was probably the shortest title match in OAOAST history! That might just be the shortest match in OAOAST history period! 3 seconds? Is that all this match lasted!? (CLIP) Heat jumps up and down and raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt in the air. Just then, Spanish Fly runs into the ring. Heat points to the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt, Fly nods, Heat nods, Fly smiles, and then runs over and embraces Colombian Heat to the crowd's delight! Colombian Heat holds Spanish Fly up with his right hand, and raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt with his left hand. Spanish Fly pumps his fists in celebration. Fly and Heat look at the 24/7 Title belt, and then high five each other. Nick Patrick helps Cuban Wall out of the ring. COACH Three seconds. I don't believe it. Three seconds. COLE BEEELIEVE IT, Coach! A brand new 24/7 Champion has been crowned! And his name is Colombian Heat! COACH BLARGH! COLE Colombian Heat is celebrating with his best friend Spanish Fly, the NEW 24/7 Champion! His first singles title in the OAOAST! (CLIP) COLE Colombian Heat: NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion! Colombian Heat heads to a second turnbuckle and raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his head. He smiles a wide smile. He yells out, "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Spanish Fly cheers him on as "Gasolina (Remix)" continues playing. We return to HeldDOWN~! with Cuban Wall already entering the ring. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds is playing over the P.A. system. COLE Fans, welcome back to HeldDOWN~!, and now Cuban Wall will be in action, a week after losing the 24/7 Title in humiliating fashion. 3 seconds was all the match lasted! COACH Uh, Cole...do you really want to remind everyone of that with Cuban Wall only a few feet away from you? COLE Hmm...you make a good point. Cuban Wall does The Lightning Crew Salute to boos. Wall jaws with the fans, and then heads to a second turnbuckle, where he raises his hands in the air. Wall gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air again. Cuban Wall gets off the second turnbuckle and then looks at his opponents. One man is a red head, wearing a black elbow pad on his right elbow, black wrist tape, red speedos, black knee pads, and black boots. The other is a pale chubby man with a mullet, who is wearing a black singlet with a giant yellow star on the front. He's also wearing white wrist tape, yellow knee pads, and white boots. Both jobbers...I mean, wrestlers look at Cuban Wall with some fear on their faces. COLE Cuban Wall is in a BAD mood after what happened last week. And I feel mighty sorry for his two opponents tonight. COACH What are their names? COLE You know, I have no idea. COACH Let's call the red head 'Dead' and the chubby guy 'Meat'. Referee Chad Patton checks Cuban Wall and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING*CUBAN WALL vs. ??? & ??? Cuban Wall rushes forward and gives a lariat to both of his opponents at the same time! COLE Whoa! And Cuban Wall starting this match off on the right foot! COACH What? You surprised? Cuban Wall gets up and starts stomping on both opponent's bodies. He stomps them until they're practically puddles on the mat, all with RAGE on his face. Wall picks both guys up. They're already winded. Wall shoves both guys into the ropes. When they return, Cuban Wall clutches both guys by the throat, lifts them up, and then SLAMS them down onto the mat with chokeslams! COLE Double chokeslams! Double chokeslams by Cuban Wall! COACH Wall is rebounding quite nicely from last week! Cuban Wall drops an elbow onto the red head. He drops another elbow onto the chubby mullet guy. CW picks the mullet guy up. He nails him right in the face with a right jab! Wall picks the red head up. He nails him right in the face with a right jab! Wall picks the mullet guy up again. Another jab! He picks up the red head. Another jab! Back and forth he goes, knocking both guys down with jabs and then picking them up again! Cuban Wall whips the mullet guy into the ropes. Big boot! The mullet guy goes down! COLE Cuban Wall manhandling two opponents at once! COACH He was robbed of the 24/7 Title last week and he's taking it out on these poor scrubs! THIS is why you don't get him mad! COLE Amen to that. Cuban Wall picks the red head up. He whips him into the ropes. Flying clothesline! Wall chokes the red head with his bare hands. But stops when the referee gets to a count of 4. Wall gives the ref an evil look and then gets up. COLE I don't know how much longer this match will last! COACH Certainly longer than the 24/7 Title Match did last week, damn it. CW picks the red head up. He scoops him up in a fallaway slam position. Cuban Wall rushes over to a turnbuckle, slamming the red head's back against the turnbuckle. Wall then runs over to another turnbuckle, slamming the red head's back against that one. Cuban Wall then rushes over to a third turnbuckle, and once again, the red head's back meets turnbuckle. Finally, Cuban Wall finishes with the fourth turnbuckle, and completes his signature move with a powerslam! COLE Cuban Wall is just DECIMATING his opponents tonight! COACH He's a man on a mission, Cole! He sees Colombian Heat in those two men! COLE Well, time will tell when and if he gets another title shot. COACH After tonight, he damn well better! Cuban Wall picks the chubby guy up. He gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. He follows with a Bossman Slam! Cuban Wall gets right back up and picks the red head up. He lifts him up onto his right shoulder...and then drops to his knees, giving him the Wallbreaker! COLE Wallbreaker! Wallbreaker on that opponent! COACH Good night! Cuban Wall throws the red head aside. CW picks the chubby mullet guy up. He's dazed and confused. Wall lifts the chubby mullet guy onto his right shoulder...and then drops to his knees, giving *him* the Wallbreaker! COLE And ANOTHER Wallbreaker! Cuban Wall taking both men down with a Wallbreaker! COACH Yes! That's the way to do it, Wall! Show 'em who's boss! Show 'em what ya got! Show 'em what ya got! Cuban Wall sneers at both of his opponents. He then runs forward, bounces off the ropes, runs forward, jumps up, and comes crashing down onto the chubby mullet guy! COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! Cuban Wall following up the Wallbreaker with The Lightning Crew Splash! COACH Wow-e! Wow! Wow! Wow! Cuban Wall feeling the effects of last week's 24/7 Title Match that's for sure! It's lit a fire under his ass! COLE It may have done so, Coach! Cuban Wall says something to the chubby mullet guy, and then gets up, runs towards the ropes, bounces off the ropes, runs forward, jumps up, and jumps down with The Lightning Crew Splash on the red head guy! COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! The Lightning Crew Splash! Two Lightning Crew Splashes for the price of one! COACH Excellent Wall! Way to go! Cuban Wall puts his left hand on the red head guy's chest, and his right hand on the chubby mullet guy's chest. Chad Patton counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (2:29) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE And it's over! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing again. Cuban Wall has the McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. BUFFER Here is your winner...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Chad Patton raises Cuban Wall's hands in victory, but Wall takes his hands away from him and threatens harm on the small referee. Wall sneers as he raises his hands in victory again. COLE Cuban Wall with a victory tonight, bouncing back quite nicely from last week! COACH Yeah! He didn't even break a sweat! Cuban Wall kicks the red head out of the ring onto the floor. Chad Patton checks on the chubby guy while Cuban Wall goes to get something. COLE The Muscle for The Lightning Crew looking for some redemption after losing the 24/7 Title last week. And he may have just found it. I'm sure Tha Puerto Rican is proud of his performance tonight. COACH I'm sure he is. The leader of The Lightning Crew only wants the best, and Cuban Wall just showed the world why he is considered one of the best! COLE Time will tell if he gets another shot at the 24/7 Title. COACH Cole, after his performance tonight, the OAOAST Board of Directors should be setting up a rematch right this instance! What's taking them so long? COLE The match just ended, Coach. COACH So? Come on! Time's a wasting! Let's go! Hurry up! Hop to it! Chop! Chop! COLE Oy vey. Cuban Wall has a microphone in his right hand. COACH Cuban Wall's going to speak! SHHHH! COLE I wonder what he's going to say? COACH Like I said, SHHHH! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. The crowd boos loudly. Chad Patton helps the chubby mullet guy out of the ring. Cuban Wall is still mighty pissed off. CUBAN WALL Now...listen here and listen closely. Cuz, I'm only going to say this once! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" CUBAN WALL What happened last week...will never...ever...EVER...EVER...EVER happen again! NEVER...EVER! Do you hear me!? NEVER...EVER...EVER...EVER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!? NEVER...EVER...EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN! NEVER AGAIN! NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN! NEVER EVER! EVER! Cuban Wall drops the microphone and exits the ring as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing again. The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall jaws with a fan at ringside who presumably said something about the 3-second title lost last week. Cuban Wall threatens bodily harm on him. COLE Well...I think we got the message loud and clear. COACH Yes. What happened last week will never EVER happen again! NEVER EVER EVER EVER! NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER-- COLE Coach! Okay! I got it the first time! Don't need to repeat it. Cuban Wall already repeated it enough! Fans, we'll be right back with more HeldDOWN~! right after this! Cuban Wall walks up the entrance ramp, his eyes focused solely on the entrance, looking very much like he's in a bad mood. The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall exits through the entrance doors as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing.FADE OUTCOMING UP NEXTLAST MAN STANDINGThe Rockers Vs The GunslingersNEXT We fade in on a shot of the New York City skyline as the sun sets. Mellow music plays. We then see rapid fire shots of various New York City landmarks: the Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square, the Empire State Building, Grand Central Station, the Statue Of Liberty, Central Park.The World's Most Famous Arena. Cut to a shot of Madison Square Garden.The World's Greatest City. Cut to a shot of the New York City skyline at night.The biggest event of the summer. Cut to the OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 logo. Triumphant music plays.OAOAST ANGLESLAM LIVE FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN NEW YORK, NEW YORK SIX WEEKS AWAY! NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUNDALIKE ANGLESLAM 2007! THE SINGLE GREATEST ANGLESLAM OF ALL-TIME!!! Fireworks explode. We fade out.COMMERCIALS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, to a finish…LAST MAN STANDING! To achieve victory you must incapacitate your opponents for a count of 10. “Heart-Shaped Box” hits, the automatic pop it once received gone, replaced by a loud chorus of boos. BUFFER Introducing first, led to the ring by HOLLY-WOOD…from Sin City, total combine weight 432 pounds, the former OAOAST tag team champions of the world and self-proclaimed “greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time“...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE If you‘re just tuning in, don’t adjust your television sets. Your hearing is perfectly fine. As unimaginable as it seemed 3 months ago, the Heavenly Rockers have gone from being the most popular tag team in our sport to one of the most despised thanks to their actions at the 6th annual Great Angle Bash. COACH Things change, people change. As evident by this reception. And why? Why are the fans so mad at the Heavenly Rockers? Because they refused to be raped by a couple of young hot shots who tried to take advantage of their generosity? COLE You’re as delusional as the Heavenly Rockers. It’s obvious to me they became jealous of the Lone Star Gunslingers. Synth and Logan were the most popular tag team for such a long time they couldn’t handle it when another team began to cut into their popularity and snapped. COACH Then instead of damning the Heavenly Rockers to hell, blame the fans. They stirred the pot for their own amusement and got burned. After several minutes and no Heavenly Rockers, the music dies, leaving everyone puzzled. Then it’s off backstage to an ongoing shouting match between the Heavenly Rockers and OAOAST agent Terry Taylor. Also present is Logan’s wife Holly, a woman so disinterested in the events transpiring in front of her she kills time reading the July edition of OAOAST Magazine. TAYLOR Enough of the stalling, fellas. Move it. You’re on. LOGAN Nobody’s going to force us to do a damn thing, especially not you, you walking piece of Wrestlecrap. Like I’ve said, if you want the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all time to perform live, you gotta meet our demands. It‘s written in our contract. But if the OAOAST is going to try and play us like that, get in touch with our lawyers and will gladly see you in court. SYNTH What he said. BARON (Off-Screen) Hey jackasses! Officials swarm the area as the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS attempt to start our regularly scheduled contest backstage. LOGAN You don’t want none of us. Step over here and we’ll stain the floor with your blood! SYNTH See, Rooster, dat’s why all the fuss. Them fools can‘t be trusted. You saw it. They just tried to jump us. TAYLOR Then take it to the ring. You accepted the challenge. It’s time to see if you can walk the walk. (to the officials) Gentlemen, escort Mr. Mulligan and Windels to the Gorilla position. (to Synth and Logan) You guys stay right here until they‘re out of sight. LOGAN (shouting) Hey Melody, pray your boys get injured walking to the ring, because it won’t hurt nearly as bad as what we’re gonna do to them! MELODY It doesn’t take long for the Gunslingers to appear onstage. With Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” booming over the loud speakers, the most improved tag team come dressed to fight, both wearing jeans and t-shirts, fists taped. Melody on the other hand, she’s like a cartoon character, rocking the same Daisy Duke look as always (and nobody‘s complaining because she‘s hot). BUFFER Wrestling fans, the Heavenly Rockers opponents in this Last Man Standing match hail from San Antonio, Texas, and are accompanied by their manager MELODY NERDLY…JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS…THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody and the guys return the love from the fans, high-fiving a lucky few on their way to the ring. COLE Here they come, arguably the most popular tag team… COACH Thanks to Melody spamming every MySpace page in existence. COLE …in the sport today, the Lone Star Gunslingers. Tonight they look to extract a measure of revenge against the men who have denied them championship hardware on 3 separate occasions, the Heavenly Rockers. Speak of the devil…! * BOOM * Jock goes down in a heap following a CHAIRSHOT from Synth, who then whips the Gunslinger into the STEEL STEPS before him and Logan gang up on Baron. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE It was a damn set-up! COACH And the Gunslingers fell for it hook, line and sinker. Melody tends to Jock as the Heavenly Rockers pummel Baron to the ground. Overwhelmed by the onslaught the proud Texan continues to try and fight out of the predicament, wildly swinging from his knees… “YYEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!” …but Logan rakes the eyes and tosses Windels inside. As Synth climbs onto the apron Logan spots Melody reaching for the steel chair and steps on it, shaking his head as the Gunslingers gal pal slowly gazes up at the “Macho MACHO” Mann. But Logan refuses to let that be the end of it, threatening to strike Melody with the chair! COLE Oh, no. He wouldn’t dare. Suddenly, Logan is spun around and floored by a Jock Mulligan discus punch. The gentlemen that he is, Jock asks Melody if she’s okay before going to aid Baron, cleaning house on Synth. Irish whip, and both men head off into the ropes, with Jock connecting on a flying lariat. Melody slides a chair inside, the very one that got her up close and personal with Logan Mann, and Jock… * BOOM * …cracks it across the back of the Synthmeister, sending him through the ropes to the floor. COLE A receipt from earlier, no question. Having shaken off the cobwebs, Baron wows the audience with a PLANCHA onto Logan! COACH Even I have to admit that was impressive. You don’t see many 6’7 men diving over the top rope with such ease. Melody fires her imaginary pistols in the air with the excitement of a 5-year-old. Meanwhile, Jock pulls Synth out from underneath the ring. Yes, out from under. But Synth proves he’s more than just a pretty face, or a cowardly lion…THROWING A HANDFUL OF POWDER INTO JOCK’S EYES! COLE Powder in the eyes! My god, somebody please help him! He can’t see! He can’t see, damn it! As Jock stumbles around, desperately wiping his eyes with the ring skirt, Synth regains possession of the steel chair and damn near bashes Jock’s skull in! Not one to play favorites, Synth sprints to the other side of the ring and cold-cocks Baron as well! “HOLLY!” “HOLLY!” “HOLLY!” COLE You hear the chants of “Holly” in the background, the fans want her to come out here and end this. Whether or not she has the power to do so I don’t know. Synth and Logan have gone off the deep end. The Heavenly Rockers prepare to do real damage now that their foes have been neutralized. Logan twirls the FINGER OF DEATH~! as Synth removes the protective pad ringside. COLE Oh, my. I don’t like the looks of this at all. I pray it’s not what I think it is. Melody can’t bear to watch, fleeing backstage. Logan hooks Baron’s head… “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” …PERCUSSION DDT ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!! COLE COACH Your prayers went unanswered, Cole. Not that you should be surprised. I mean, I don’t think the good Lord would appreciate the lifestyle you live. As if that wasn’t enough, Logan adds insult to injury, GRINDING BARON’S FACE INTO THE CONCRETE! COLE Come on, that’s enough! COACH Have you forgotten? Last Man Standing. We still have a match on our hands. And Logan has Baron’s BLOOD on his, as does the concrete. Synth brings Jock over along with another steel chair. The guys place the chairs on the ground and deliver a DOUBLE DDT! COACH Double the Percussion. COLE And there’s going to be major repercussions stemming from this. LOGAN (to referee) Count ‘em! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... “YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody returns with HOLLY-WOOD by her side. They rush to the ring, where Melody smartly remains at a safe distance as Holly tries to talk some sense into the Heavenly Rockers, but Logan isn’t having any of it, ignoring what his wife is saying to cuss Melody out. COLE Somebody place security on standby, it’s getting intense ringside. 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your last men standing…THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Logan spits on the bodies of Jock and Baron, then grabs Holly by the arm and roughly whisks her backstage as OAOAST officials and EMTs arrive on the scene. COLE Let’s go to break. There’s nothing left to say or see here. We’ll be back.COMMERCIAL The camera cuts to the backstage area and the HeldDOWN~! interview set where Maria is standing by with James Riggs and Staci. The crowd boos. Riggs is in his wrestling attire and has a cocky smirk on his face. Staci stands next to him looking lovingly at her man. MARIA Maria here with James Riggs, who made his return to the OAOAST last week in a very rude manner! Last week, you attacked Colombian Heat after he just won the 24/7 Title from Cuban Wall! What would make you do such a thing? JAMES RIGGS Well, Maria, it's quite simple, so simple even you can understand it. You see, I attacked him after his match because I just could not understand why the OAOAST would go ahead and give Colombian Heat a rematch after he BLEW his first match against Cuban Wall. I mean, Cuban Wall squashed him in under 10 minutes! What the hell was the point of having a rematch? What did Cuban Wall need to prove? Does Colombian Heat have incriminating photos of someone on the OAOAST Board of Directors or something? Anyway, it's completely and totally unfair that he gets two shots at the 24/7 Title in the span of two months despite not wrestling on OAOAST TV since April! Sure, I haven't been seen since April either, but that was because I was taking on the best the world has to offer in HI-YAH. What has Colombian Heat done since April? Lie around his apartment doing nothing? Write some crappy rap songs? Smoke some of that 'sticky icky' if you catch my drift? MARIA No, I don't. RIGGS You know, you're much more beautiful when you don't speak. MARIA Really? RIGGS Uh-huh. MARIA Okay then! I'll stay quiet for the rest of the interview! RIGGS That's a good girl. Staci stifles her laugh. JR chuckles. RIGGS But now I'm back in the One And Only AngleSault Thread, and I'm going to make it my mission to unseat Colombian Heat and give the OAOAST and JR Nation a 24/7 Champion they can be PROUD of! And as for Colombian Heat-- Suddenly, Colombian Heat appears in the shot. The crowd cheers loudly! Heat is also in his wrestling attire, but is also wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap backwards. He is holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. James Riggs and Staci both look at Heat with looks of disgust on their faces. RIGGS Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. How you doing, Champ? COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, peep dis, son. I's never had any beef wit you, a'ight? Youse the one dat started tha beef. Well, I's is gonna finish it, ya heard me? RIGGS I hear you loud and clear, Heat! Now, tell me, when do I get my title shot? HEAT Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! Wait a minute! I's never said nothin' 'bout no title shot. First things first, I gotta see if you're worthy of gettin' a shot at mah new title. RIGGS Me? Worthy? Heat, do you realize who you're talking to? I'm a future Hall of Famer! I'm the Next Big Thing in the OAOAST! I'm the guy who puts asses in those seats! And you're seriously wondering if I am worthy enough to get a shot at the OAOAST 24/7 Title? HEAT Yessir. JR scoffs. He and Staci can't believe what they're hearing. Riggs puts his right hand over his face and takes a deep breath. He then turns his attention back to Heat. RIGGS All right. All right. If that's what I have to do, then so be it. What do you want? HEAT There's a primetime Syndicated show in two weeks. How's about me and you have a match on dat show? If I win, then you stop with dis business about gettin' a 24/7 Title shot a'ight? But if you win...then, we'll face off again for the 24/7 Title at AngleSlam in August. Sound cool wit you? JR quickly thinks this over. Staci smiles. RIGGS Colombian Heat, I have absolutely no problem beating you two times in a row! I accept your challenge! HEAT A'ight then. See, we can do this tha civil way cuz we is grown ass mang. No need for sneak attacks and whatnot! We can do dis tha grown folks way. RIGGS Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever. I'll see you in two weeks, Champ! HEAT See you then, Riggs. Colombian Heat and James Riggs both nod their heads at the same time. Heat then turns and walks away. RIGGS And hey, hold onto that Title tight, because in six weeks time, that Title will be taken away from you, and you'll be remember as the guy who lost both his belt AND his girlfriend on OAOAST Television in the same year! That comment causes Colombian Heat to stop walking and rush towards Riggs! HEAT What'chu say? What'chu say? SAY THAT TO MAH FACE, BOI! COME ON! SAY DAT TO MAH FACE! Heat shoves Riggs! Riggs and Staci just laugh it off. Heat gets in Riggs face, which causes OAOAST Road Agents and security to come and break things up before things get out of hand. Heat continues spitting venom at James Riggs, who just laughs evilly while Staci smiles evilly. Both Heat and Riggs are separated by the OAOAST Road Agents and security. The crowd boos. COLE James Riggs has accepted the challenge! If he can get through Colombian Heat on OAOAST Syndicated in two weeks, he gets a 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam! COACH Finally, the moment JR Nation has been waiting for will finally happen. James Riggs with OAOAST gold around his waist! COLE Well, he has to beat Heat on OAOAST Syndicated first. COACH And he will, so let's look into the future. August 26th. James Riggs vs. Colombian Heat for the 24/7 Title! What a moment that will be in JR's career. Winning the 24/7 Championship at Madison Square Garden! That's something he can tell his grandkids about! COLE Who knows, Coach? What we DO know is that another match has been added to an already explosive OAOAST Syndicated on July 28th from London, England! Colombian Heat vs. James Riggs, with a 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam 2007 on the line! Folks, we'll be back with another Battle Bowl bout after this!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 COLE Folks, it's time for our other Battlebowl match of the night! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFERLadies and gentlemen, the following is our second Battlebowl match of the night, scheduled for one fall! COACH Here we go, Cole! Cut to the AngleTron, and the OAOAST roster. The flashing box moves around the screen, then the full portraits interchange, stopping on...CONQUISTADOR DOS! COACH Wow! COLE Could you imagine if both Conquistadors were able to advance to Battlebowl? COACH That would definitely be something, Cole!Gold Dust Woman plays, and Dos walks through the curtains. He makes his way into the ring, as the music stops, and the next drawing starts. COLE And now we'll find out his partner! The box moves around, the portraits interchange, before stopping on...LUTHER! COLE And it's another Burrough Boy, Luther! So the Burrough Boys have second life in this Battlebowl! DJ Clue's Super Mario Remix hits, and Luther walks through the curtains, looking less than happy. COACH Uh oh, and I don't think Luther's too happy about who this lottery has given him as a partner! Luther slowly walks to the ring and climbs in, and leans on the ropes, as the drawing starts up again. COACH Who's going to be their opponents, Cole? The box moves around, the portraits interchange, before stopping on...WALDO! COLE And look at this, another Burrough Boy! COACH And these guys will be opponents in this match, Cole! COLE But as Waldo comes to the ring, this guarantees one of them a spot in Battlebowl, barring something like a double-disqualification or something to that effect which would eliminate both teams! The music hits once again, as Waldo comes out. Waldo stops at ringside, and looks up at the AngleTron as the drawing starts up again. The flashing box moves around various members of the roster, then the large pictures start to interchange, before stopping on...THUNDERKID!!! COACH WHOA! COLE And this can't make Alf happy at all! Waldo points at Luther and laughs, as Luther throws a fit in the ring. COLE As you can see from those reactions, Waldo obviously getting the better luck of the draw with his partner, the OAOAST Heartland champion, Thunderkid!God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid makes his way out to the roars of the crowd. COLE And we're set to add two more to the battle royal at Syndicated! TK climbs into the ring, takes off his gear, and hands his belt to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH And I'll tell you, the Conquistador showing some guts, stepping right in there with the champ! Dos and TK circle the ring, and tie up. TK grabs a side headlock, but Dos backs him into the ropes, and shoves him off. Dos drops down as TK hops over, then Dos hops up, only to be shoulderchecked right back down! COLE But as you can see, more guts than brains, he's not going to match strength with TK! Dos slowly gets to his feet, and they circle the ring once again. The two tie up, and Dos quickly goes behind and grabs a hammerlock. TK manages to escape and go behind Dos, taking him down with a drop toe hold, then catching him with an armdrag! Dos retreats to a neutral corner. COACH And Dos taking his time in there, not rushing things! The two combatants circle the ring once again, and TK goes behind, but catches an elbow to the face! Dos backs into the ropes, and floors TK with a clothesline! COLE And how about this, Dos starting to mount some offense here! Dos backs into the ropes, and TK rolls to his stomach as Dos hops over, then TK gets up and executes a leapfrog, then catches Dos for a big PRESS SLAM~! COLE And the power of the Heartland champion! TK slams Dos hard to the mat, then measures and hits him with a dropkick, sending him through the ropes and to the floor! COLE And Dos giving it a go here, but not finding much success against TK, as you might expect! Dos catches his breath, then rolls back into the ring and goes at TK, who catches him in another armdrag! COACH I think Dos would have been best served to make a tag right there! TK wrings his arm, then walks over and tags Waldo, who just looks at him for a second. COLE Yeah, that was a tag, Waldo! TK points up, and Waldo goes to the top, coming down on Dos with a chop to the shoulder. COACH Not bad teamwork from TK and Waldo! COLE Well, you remember TK's roots are in tag team wrestling, but he has since become a highly successful singles wrestler! Waldo stomps away at Dos, then hits him with a European uppercut, which sends him staggering back to the ropes, and he falls through and lands on the apron. Waldo runs to the corner, springs up, and dropkicks Dos to the floor! COLE And a nice springboard dropkick by Waldo, out of Staten Island! Waldo then grabs onto the top rope, jumps, and pulls himself between the top and middle rope, hooking Dos on the way down and taking him down with a headscissors! COACH Look at that move! COLE These Burrough Boys do have some impressive cruiserweight-style moves! Waldo tosses Dos back inside, and tags TK once again. COACH Second exchange here between Waldo and TK, as Dos is in big trouble, with Luther yet to make an appearance! TK wrings the arm once again, but Dos goes to the eyes, then delivers a scoop slam! He then makes a tag to Luther. COLE Now he's in there! Luther stomps away on TK, then picks him up. He whips him into the ropes, then backs into the other side, and catches TK with a spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE First cover of the match, a two-count! Luther drags TK to a neutral corner, and scoops him up, delivering a rib-breaker! He then reaches over TK on the mat, grabbing the top rope, and executing a SPLIT-LEGGED MOONSAULT~! 1... 2... Kickout! Luther whips TK into the ropes, but TK ducks a clothesline. When TK turns around, Luther delivers a foot to the gut, then hooks a front facelock. However, Luther stops to pose, and TK lifts him in the air and carries him into his own corner, where he tags in Waldo! COACH Oh, this ought to be good! COLE Burrough Boy against Burrough Boy, possibly! Luther and Waldo stare at one another, then circle the ring and tie up. COACH There they go! Waldo grabs a side headlock, but Luther shoves him off into the ropes. Luther drops down, then gets to his feet. Waldo ducks a clothesline, then Luther executes a leapfrog, then catches him in a hiplock attempt...but Waldo spins through, goes behind the back, and attempts a backslide! 1... 2... Kickout! Both men back off into their respective corners. COLE Nice sequence between those two, as the action lightning quick in there right now! They meet in mid-ring and tie up once again, with Luther taking Waldo to the mat with a side headlock. Waldo grabs a headscissors, but Luther quickly turns over, and flips on top of Waldo. 1... 2... Waldo bridges up, then turns around and goes for another backslide, but this time, Luther rolls all the way over Waldo's shoulders and lands on his feet in front of him, catching him with a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COACH Look at that, these guys can wrestle and fly too, Cole! COLE No question, some great action going on in there right now! The partners circle the ring once again, and tie up. Luther backs Waldo into his own corner, as the referee warns Dos about interfering in the action. Luther lets up, and whips Waldo across the ring. Luther follows and executes a monkey flip, but Waldo lands on his feet, and runs back to the other corner, hopping to the top rope, and attempting a flip move, which Luther ducks, and tags in Dos. However, Waldo rolls through, making it to his own corner, and tagging in TK. COACH Good stuff from the Burroughs, Cole! TK immediately overpowers Dos, and whips him into a corner. TK charges, but Dos moves out of the way! COLE Nobody home for TK! As TK crashes into the corner, Dos runs into the ropes, and catches him with a BULLDOG~! as TK staggers out! COACH And a nice move by Dos! Dos tags Luther right back in, and Luther goes to the top rope as TK slowly gets to his feet. Luther leaps off, but TK catches him with a powerslam! 1... 2... ...but the count is broken up by Waldo! COLE Wait a minute! COACH Instinct, Cole! These guys are partners! TK gets to his feet angrily, and shoves Waldo down to the mat! COLE And TK not happy about it! As TK berates Waldo, Luther musters up the strength to deliver a low blow! Waldo then gets to his feet and holds TK, while Luther goes to the top rope. COLE And now the Burrough Boys ARE working as a team, even though they're adversaries! What is going on here? COACH Well, Cole, TK would obviously be a bigger obstacle in the battle royal than Dos would! So if they're going to try to work together and prevent one from getting there, it would have to be him! Luther jumps off the top rope...but TK moves, and Waldo eats a missile dropkick! COLE And Luther hits his partner, or his opponent, or whatever! I don't have a damn clue at this point! Dos attacks TK, and attempts to whip him to the ropes, but TK blocks and wrings the arm, pulling him in for a foot to the gut. TK then hooks Dos, and drops him with the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 COLE And TK is going to Battlebowl! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFERThe winners of the match, advancing to Battlebowl...the team of WALDO and THUNDERKID!!!!! COLE And Waldo will be the Burrough Boy that advances, as TK had to pull him on his coattails at the end there, Luther and Dos eliminated! COACH But Uno made it, that's one more than we expected, Cole! TK leaves the ring, holding his belt in the air. COLE Indeed, Uno did make it, but to achieve the impossible and win Battlebowl, this is one of the guys he'll have to outlast, the Heartland champion, Thunderkid! Let's go to... The view is switched backstage to The Enterprise locker room, where Theodore Moneymaker, attired in three piece pin stripped suit, paces across the floor. Holding a glass of Merlot, he appears to be engaged in deep thought. Jade Rodez, in a teal track suit, lounges against a leather couch. Her expression is one of great worry and anxiety. MONEYMAKER Tell me Jade, when we throw the victory gala for your inevitable tag title win at Syndicated, which type of cuisine do you prefer? I'm thinking of a seared duck with salsa verde and cherry compote. Perhaps served with an achiote-marianted yellowtail with chiplote mayo? Or is it that too upper middle class? JADE Why don't you ask, CPA, or something. MONEYMAKER CPA? Trust me, I love the man like a son, but if it were up to him we'd be sitting in front of the Exxon gas station, drinking malt liquor and eating out of one big Popeye's bucket! BWAHHHHAHAHA! Mister Allen is good for many things, but fine dining, and reading above a second grade level are not one of them. It's your victory celebration, you make the choice. JADE Ask Mackenzie. MONEYMAKER The only words I have for Mackenzie are those that would condemn her ilk to the very depths of hell. JADE I don't...care what you serve. It doesn't matter. I don't care. Serve whatever. MONEYMAKER Serve whatever? What do you want? Something crazy? Like an ice cream taco? Something like that? What does that mean? Are you pregnant? Because I care not what the human resources department says, I bear no responsibility for maternity leave! None whatsoever! You and that child are on your own! BWHAHAHAHA! JADE (dryly. Or more dry then usual.) I'm not pregnant. MONEYMAKER Then...uh...I was merely having a laugh about the whole maternity leave thing. Hahhhahha Simple laugh, hahhahaha. Please don't sue me. JADE I won't. Mister Moneymaker... MONEYMAKER Please, call me Teddy. JADE Uh, Teddy. MONEYMAKER On second thought, call me Mister Moneymaker. JADE Mister Moneymaker, I appreciate what Ned was...trying to do, I guess, for me, but between us, I'm not sure this bra and panties tag title match is that good of an idea. MONEYMAKER How can it be anything but a good idea? Are you concerned about Mackenzie's loyalty? I know she is a vapid slave to her perverse lesbian desires, but with the axe held above her neck she'll no doubt follow the scent of the dollar, and not the scent of Alix's perfume or Krista's flavored lipstick. JADE I'm not that worried about Mackenzie. I guess, I should be, maybe I am, but there's more then that... MONEYMAKER Then what? Think to your pride, Jade! You've been blessed with an opportunity to do what every tag team I've hired has failed to do. Restore prestige to the OAOAST tag team titles, bring back honor, morality and family values to American society, and rid the OAOAST of this scandalous lesbian menace. How could you not be counting down the days until you perform God's righteous service and strike down Satan's hedonistic messengers? Realizing that Theodore Moneymaker is simply a walking sermon, with no ability to understand the feelings of others, Jade decides to give up. JADE I guess you're right. Fine. MONEYMAKER Hold! I get it. I see what's going on here. It's Krista and Alix. You're afraid of having to combat your old friends. Let me disavow you of that notion right now. These were not your friends, Krista was not your mentor. These were monsters, and Krista was the snake tempting to you to eat Eden's apple. You were wise to seek salvation with The Enterprise, before they dragged you into the Roman Circus that is their lesbian smut underworld! All the times they left you to be devoured by some unshaven, flat chested, Anti-Amercian, pale as Casper the ghost, lesbian feminazi, at their Los Angeles gay clubs? Disgusting! Jade doesn't remember ever being taken to any lesbian clubs, or ever being introduced as a prospective partner to any lesbians, but she keeps silent and lets Moneymaker continue his weekly diatribe against homosexuals. MONEYMAKER Don't you see? These alleged friends of yours, were simply trying to convert you to their cult of homosexuality! To drag you into the pits of hell, so that you may eternally recite their blasmphemey against God in a pagan orgy of dyke filth! Mackenzie may eagerly spread her legs for the tongues of those two she devils, but not you, Jade. I saved you, Jade. I did. Throughly creeped out by Mister Moneymaker, Jade starts looking for an exit. MONEYMAKER To fear the bra and panties tag title match is futile, Jade. Long have I walked in the company of hatred for homosexuals. As long as my breaths can curse the names of Alix and Krista, no ally of mine shall ever taste defeat. You will wield America's disgust and crush our enemies of morality. JADE Uh...yeah...I feel a lot better. A lot. Thank you. MONEYMAKER Yes, excellent. I welcome the sight of you as tag team champion. BWAHHAHHA! Jade uses Moneymaker's chuckling distraction to exit the scene.COMING UP NEXTMalibu Back In ActionZack Malibu Vs Vitamin XNEXTCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile Brought to you by The Hills - The Complete Second Season on DVDName: The South Central MilitiaMembers:One Eye Marcellus Wallace & Vincent "Whitey" SantanaFrom: South Central LAFinisher:The JailbreakCareer Highlights:OAOAST World Tag Team Championship February 1st 2007-February 1st 2007 COLE What happens if Jade and Mackenzie win the tag titles at Syndicated? Do you still have a scramble cage match? COACH Absolutely not! The titles were signed to be unified by Chicks Over Dicks! Once they lose them, the match goes out the window, and the belts will be unified as Mister Moneymaker deems them fit. COLE Oh great. Folks, we'll be right back with our mainevent.COMMERCIAL Now with the trash-talking out of the way, Malibu and Vitamin X lock up, with Malibu grabbing a quick headlock. He holds onto it, but the move hasn't been applied for more than three seconds when..."REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" ...LANDON MADDIX, the OAOAST World Champion (like it or not), makes his presence felt. Briefly distracted, Malibu winds up taken off his feet by Vitamin X, but floats over his back and then runs the ropes. X drops to the mat as Malibu hops over him and then slides out of the ring, storming up the aisle to confront Maddix! COLE OK, who had "under a minute" in the "all hell will break loose" pool? COACH We had a pool goin' and no one told me? Haters. Referee Robinson darts out of the ring as well, trying to lure Malibu back inside the ring, while Maddix keeps his distance from the irate former World Champion. Tha Puerto Rican comes around ringside now and he gets involved, bitching out Maddix for sticking his nose in Lightning Crew affairs. COLE This is not going to end well for at least one, if not all three of these men tonight! Robinson now has his hands full, ordering PRL back to the opposite side of the ringside area, and Malibu back into the ring. It's tough for the diminutive referee to impose order when the three participants in the AngleSlam main event are shouting each other down, so HeldDOWN~! quickly cuts to break so that he can restore order!(COMMERCIAL BREAK) HeldDOWN~! returns, and the action had already started, as we see Vitamin X working over the arm of Zack Malibu. X wrenches the arm, then follows up with a chop before releasing his grip. Circling Malibu, he peppers him with some quick jabs, backing off quickly after each one connects. With Malibu stunned, X hits the ropes and hits a leaping clothesline, taking Malibu down! He follows up with a cover, and PRL pounds the apron, cheering his protege on. ONE! KICKOUT! COLE Easy escape for Malibu that time, but Vitamin X has been able to control this match since Robinson managed to get Zack back into the ring. X picks Zack up and looks to shoot him to the corner, but Malibu reverses mid-move. X can't stop his momentum, so he leaps off the canvas and onto the middle rope, leaping backwards back to the mat. Surprised that Malibu hadn't charged the corner after him, X turns around...and gets blasted with a hard running lariat from the former World Champion! Malibu then leads X to his feet, and unloads on him with hard slaps, then segues into chops, striking the Prince of the Lightning Crew as hard as he sees fit! Zack then takes X by the head and pulls him towards a European uppercut, and then puts him on the mat with a scoop slam. Zack then hits the ropes, but PRL reaches in and grabs his ankle, tripping him up! Robinson rushes over, scolding Tha Puerto Rican for his actions, but Malibu decides to take matters in his own hand, launching himself over the top rope...and faking PRL out! Zack doesn't hit a pescado, but instead slingshot his way onto the apron, then leaps onto the top rope and sails in with a springboard legdrop onto Vitamin X! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! PRL applauds the effort of his stablemate, as X gets a shoulder up at 2. Zack brings him up again, but a quick rake of the eye puts the ball back in X's court, and he uses a rear waistlock takedown to put Zack back on the canvas! X then climbs onto Zack's back and slaps the back of his head playfully, then gets up and charges the ropes and delivers a basement dropkick to the chin of the Preppy One as he tries pushing up! X then puts the boots to Zack, stomping away, and then puts an exclamation point on the beating by dropping an elbow on his opponent, then goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Vitamin X is staying on his game, and Tha Puerto Rican has to be happy with what he's seen so far! COACH Don't forget about DA CHAMP~! here at ringside either. Maddix is all smiles as well, actively cheering on Vitamin X despite the tension between himself and the Lightning Crew leader. As both men come up, X staggers Zack with some forearms, then throws him into the corner! X unloads some more kicks to the ribs, then backs off, moving towards the opposite corner. X chugs like a choo-choo train, getting a full head of steam as he races towards the opposing corner, and...MISSES! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" X stumbles back, clutching at his ribs, but Malibu shoves him forward, and again he's slammed sternum first into the turnbuckles! Zack then leads him to center ring and hits a kick to the gut, then places him in a standing headscissors, hoisting him up for a powerbomb which X somehow reverses! PRL's feet leave the ground as he jumps with excitement, supporting X's attempt to decimate the number one contender. Malibu gets up quickly from the rana attempt, and is met with a quick jab, and another, and another, before X gets too cocky and does a little dance. He takes a swing for the closing haymaker shot, but Malibu ducks it, and now X is in trouble, as he gets rocked with a German Suplex! COACH Uh oh! COLE This is not where Vitamin X wants to be, that's for sure! The first German hits. So does the second German. As well as the third. And the fourth. AND the fifth, as the crowd is eating this up, counting along every time the back of Vitamin X's head slams into the canvas! COLE It's traditional, yet relentless. The Rolling Suplexes, passed on from Anglesault to his successor, has Vitamin X in a bad way. So much for calling Zack a hack! Malibu pulls VX up for a sixth suplex, but Tha Puerto Rican leaps up onto the apron, protesting what's happening to his charge. Robinson goes to cut him off from entering the ring, and when Malibu goes for the sixth in the series of suplexes, Maddix slides into the ring and delivers a low blow, causing both Zack and Vitamin X to collapse to the mat! COACH Look like Malibu's ship has sailed after that shot to the dingy! Maddix turns and smiles to the crowd, leaning on the ropes with a look of pride beaming off his face. PRL continues to keep Robinson tied up now, as Landon reaches down and picks the World Title off the apron. COLE PRL's serving as a distraction for Maddix! Can you believe this! They're both looking to eliminate Zack Malibu from title contention! Landon clutches the belt in his hands, waiting quietly to blast Malibu with the sixteen pounds of gold that once sat around his waist. Zack comes up off the mat, aching from the nutshot, when Landon comes forward with a BELTSHOT~!... ...that nails VITAMIN X SMACK IN THE FACE~! COACH YO~! COLE Malibu ducked! Vitamin X just got nailed with the World Heavyweight Title! Maddix backs off, and when Malibu lunges for him he quickly drops and rolls out of the ring, while PRL chases after him. Maddix backs up the aisleway, and sarcastically shrugs, looking as carefree as can be after nailing Vitamin X with his championship! Tha Puerto Rican fumes, calling Landon back out, but as Landon vanishes up the ramp, Malibu takes advantage of Landon's mishap (or was it?) and covers. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE It's not exactly the way we're used to seeing Zack win matches, but if anything, a clear message was sent tonight! COACH Yeah, the message PRL just gave to Maddix was loud and clear. He told him to go f... COLE ...FIND some backup, because the Lightning Crew are gonna be looking for him! COACH No, he told him to go f... COLE ...FORGET about their deal because PRL's done trying to work with him! COACH NO, Mikey! He told him to go fu... COLE ...FUDGEPACK his Lightning Crew boyfriends! COACH NO. Ew, no. What's wrong with you, Mikey! COLE I'm covering your ass! COACH After that last comment you just made, PLEASE stay away from my ass! Malibu, not looking too happy with how things went down, stands tall as Robinson raises his hand. Tha Puerto Rican, disturbed by Malibu's win, rolls into the ring, and now the two challengers for Maddix's World Title are face to face in the ring. PRL mouths off to Zack, with the words "it ain't over" being heard softly on TV broadcasts worldwide. Malibu responds with "I don't want it to be", and then delivers a hard slap across PRL's face, causing the Lightning Crew leader to take him to the mat, where they start to brawl! COLE It's breaking down again out here! We need some assistance out here to get these guys apart! Zack and PRL have barely started trading shots when the locker room empties, pulling both men apart and in opposite directions. The rest of the Lightning Crew come out and make the save for their leader, helping him out of the ring to try and lure him back to the locker room...but Malibu breaks free from those holding him back, and runs across the ring, leaping clean over the ring ropes and crashing down on the entire Lightning Crew with a plancha! COACH DAMN~! COLE Air Malibu has just crash landed, and it's wiped out The Lightning Crew! There's no end to this war in sight, but for tonight, we've gotta go! We'll see you next week on HeldDOWN~! GOOD NIGHT DEAR PEOPLE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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