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OAOAST TMW: A comedy/erotic e-fed

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 1/24/2017


Chanel #99

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OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD 

REENE
Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! For another exciting night of smoking hot babes and smoking hot action! I am Renee Young sitting beside America's favorite sexual predator Da Coach!

ANDERSON CUP ACTION
CHICKS OVER DICKS VS THE PARTY BRIGADE
SLAUGHTERHOUSE VS COBRA STRIKE
TONIGHT!

 

Inside the ring OAOAST World Champion Tyler Bryant laughs his ass off, mic in hand. Lorelei DeCenzo and THE FLEX are amused to. 

But why?

RENEE
HeldDOWN~! is on the air! And the last time we saw that man -- Tyler Bryant -- he was crashing out at Sofa Central!

COACH
Thanks to Spencer Reiger. 

TYLER
I know what you people are thinking. How can I be in this good of mood after what happened last week! I mean, just being Tyler Bryant and not any one of you is enough to put me in a good mood...

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

TYLER (CONT'D)
... as is waking up every single morning next to the most precious thing in the world. *raises OAOAST Championship* But how can I be mad when it all makes sense. 

RENEE
What does Tyler mean by that? 

TYLER
I gotta hand it to you Spencer. 

"YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

TYLER
Oh yeah. *claps* Let's give Spencer a hand. Even I couldn't have done what he did. And that's stab a friend in the back to advance my career. :)

RENEE
Riiiight. 

TYLER
That's what Spencer Reiger did though. 

Spencer shows up onstage in street clothes.

TYLER
Speak of the devil. You must be hear about the money. Well, I'm sorry to say you're late to collect. I've already donated my share to an orphanage in the Philippines. Pete-O even sent me a thank you note. Some guy he is. 

Spencer approaches ringside and grabs a mic. 

SPENCER
I'm not here about the money. I'm here about the title shot. 

"YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Tyler and crew get a kick out of Spencer's remark. 

TYLER
Aaaand there's our motive. 

Spencer enters the ring. Right away Flex gets in front of Tyler to protect him.

SPENCER
Sit, Ubu, sit. 

THE FLEX
:huh: 

LORELEI
:o 

SPENCER
Just by the look on your face I can tell you're feeling real good about yourself. You finally got Blaine out of the picture and it's gonna be smooth sailing from here, right? You're gonna show up at Anglepalooza to take your victory lap as the longest reigning OAOAST World Champion in history. 

TYLER
(nods)
Thanks to you. 

SPENCER
Heh. You're right. Thanks to me you're not gonna get that record because I've talked to Sophie and she wants what was advertised for Anglepalooza... a World title match. So guess who's subbing for Blaine. Me!

"YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Mic drop and exit for Spencer.

TYLER & LORELEI
:o 

RENEE
Oh yeah!

TYLER
B-But you took him out! He took him out Lori! 

LORELEI
Clam down.

TYLER
It wasn't us! 

COMMERCIAL

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As they did last week, OAOAST Tag Team Champions MONSTERS INK rode their hogs into the arena to watch the Anderson Cup up close. 

*** 2017 Anderson Cup, 1st Round: The Party Brigade w/ Amberlyn Duncan vs. Chicks Over Dicks *** 

In her first public appearance since the now legendary No Holes Barred match on Christmas HeldDOWN~! 2016, Krista stunned the OAOAST Galaxy showing up in only a bikini, white tube socks, sneakers and sunglasses!

IHfELoZ.jpg

* VROOM *

* VROOM *

Meanwhile, Krista's NHB co-star Deuce Deuce Bigelow and supporting player Jumbo revved their engines and had themselves a beer bash. 

DEUCE
We broke the bitch!

JUMBO
:lol: 

Krista's attire even surprised Alix, who quickly declared she wanted to wrestle in a bikini too, so off came her clothes! 

If that didn't stiffen dicks worldwide, what happened next certainly did thanks to Krista and a WORKOUT BAR she brought into the ring to warmup. 

KRISTA
Feel that burn! 

ALIX
You got it dude!

ALIX to KRISTA
NKeoUGN.jpg

Krista slammed the bar down and let out a refreshing aah. 

KRISTA
No pain, no gain. 
(to TPB)
You guys ready to hook up? 

PIERCE 
Let's do it.

KRISTA
Terrific! 

Krista pounced on J.Riggs like a cougar in the wild, mounting him in the corner to deliver... KISSES!

COACH
That's not the type of hooking up The Party Brigade expected!

Pierce tried prying Krista off and gots pantsed for his trouble following a drop toehold. Krista kept him pinned down and was about to engage in some ASS PLAY if not for Amberlyn jumping on the apron to scold her sister. 

PIERCE
*sigh of relief*

Tagging along with Amberlyn in her purse bag was TP, her Yorkshire Terrier who the hardest of hardcore readers will remember appearing during last year's Anderson Cup. (I don't blame anyone not remembering. The producer in charge of this match didn't remember either until looking over last year's AC and thinking it'd be a nice bit of continuity to have TP cameo.)

KRISTA
(to Amberlyn)
What, are you gonna tell mommy on me, little sister? Everyone knows a family that plays together stays together. So let's play!

tumblr_ojyg1zRGfL1rkiw19o1_400.gif

AMBERLYN 
:o 

Krista got surprised by a Pierce school boy for a near fall...

RENEE
What an upset that would've been!

... and was very appreciative of his quick thinking, giving her bro a round of applause. 

KRISTA
Now gimme 5.

Pierce went up top and was denied. 

KRISTA
No. For real. Gimme my 5 back. It must've fallen out of my bikini when you rolled me up. 

PIERCE
How do you even carrying money in a bikini, sis-bro? 

KRISTA
Just because it's called a coin purse doesn't mean it's for coins only, you know. But you wouldn't because of your bruised vagina. 

PIERCE
My bruised-- :o 

Pain ripped thru Pierce's body following a inverted atomic drop, then from the force of Krista's HEBREW HAMMER for the 1-2-3.

COACH
Whaaa?!

Winners: Chicks Over Dicks, via pinfall.

Post-match Krista tells the ref she didn't really drop a 5. 

KRISTA
But I knew he'd fall for it. Sorry you're a dumb ass Pierce. Later!
MZEcehg.jpg

* VROOM *

* VROOM *

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The scene is a backstage hallway which is populated heavily due to Papa Duncan having too many burritos in the catering area. Anyway Annagret is carrying around a clipboard and looking busy as she approaches Big Papa Thrust and his Freakazoids.

ANNAGRET
Hey, big guy.

BUSTY
Excuse you? Do you have something to talk about with our Big Papa?

ANNAGRET
Clam down, Busty, he doesn't have enough melanin for this goddess. I just have a question, for you, BPT, what do you think of Ric Flair?

BPT
There's never been a bigger ass kissin butt suckin bastard in this bidness, but also in life, he's the biggest ass kissin butt suckin bastard and he belongs in the WWE carrying his daughter's testicle suppresents because that's where he belongs because he sucks! And so does anyone related to him!

ANNAGRET
Is that right? Then you know that Ric has an STD! And probably, Sugar, his like tenth cousin has cooties. Right?

BPT
Probably so, but that ain't my problem! What do I need a little midget Flair for when I broke apart space mountain and fucked my Freakzoids in zero reverse gravity at space camp?

OHLALA
:)

ANNAGRET
Exactly, so everyone sign my petition to have Sugar tested for cooties.

And Annagret gets just what she wants as all three sign her petition! Off she goes to the next group which is Brian Travis Kidd, and Jo-Jo Whoa.

ANNAGRET
Ugh. Boys. Sign my petition.

Brian of course signs without knowing what it is, right away but JJ has to shoot his shot.

JO-JO
Hey, remember-

ANNAGRET
No, I don't remember. If you want to make memories you can buy me at Sunrise, no discounts for finishing early, or never getting started in your case. Sign my petition. 


And Jo-Jo hangs his head and sign. As BTK pats him on the back, Annagret walks over to Lucius Soul who's hanging with his Booty Mama, who's enjoying ice cream. Of course.

ANNAGRET
Hey, Jade, hey sexy.

JADE
Mmmf? Mmfmffff!

ANNAGRET
Uh-huh. So, sexy, I can't resist that BBC of yours but I'm all business right now. Can you please sign my petition about getting Sugar tested for cooties?

SOUL
I hear you, civic duty is a mother fucker, my cracker hater, and we can't have bitches spreading the cooties to the cats trying to live large.

Soul signs his name “Pimp Magic” Lucius Soul!

JADE
I'll sign too!

ANNAGRET
Ehhhh, are you gonna drip icecream on my petition?

JADE
….Its possible.

ANNAGRET
Pass. See ya, guys.

Annagret walks farther down until she runs into December! 

ANNAGRET
Hey, just the chick I wanted to see. 

DECEMBER
Oh, good, I wanted to see you too. Can you take me shopping?

ANNAGRET
Take you shopping? Uh, what?

DECEMBER
I wanted to buy Sugar a Valentine's Day gift.

ANNAGRET
The only gift you should get her is a ticket to grave site several thousands leagues under the sea. Why would you ever buy her anything?

DECEMBER
Its our tradition that I buy her a gift.

ANNAGRET
And she buys you nothing. You know what, you need to stop letting that girl walk all over you. You're more doormat than cousin, and somehow you think by asking nicely you can get a title shot out of her? Ha! I've heard it all. She wouldn't give you water if you were dying of thirst. And...hey, where'd she go? Did I hurt her feelings with what I was saying to her?

DECEMBER (OS)
I'm down here.

Annagret looks down to find December on the floor?!

ANNAGRET
Wh-what are you doing down on the floor?

DECEMBER
I slipped while we were talking.

ANNAGRET
Seriously? We were just standing still! Wait, were you just going to lie their until I noticed you were gone?

DECEMEBR
Yes. Please help me...

ANNAGRET
Of course I'll help you. But jeez, that must be one of the most impressively stupid things I've ever heard!

DECEMBER
Thanks for the compliment...

ANNAGRET
That wasn't a compliment!! I'll take you shopping...but not for Sugar, only for you.

Annagret helps December up and girls night out begins!
 

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RENEE
So, this past week on SYN we saw A$AP Blondie and Alexander The Magnifcent advance in the Anderson Cup in the Jannetty bracket. with a...questionable win over Tim  Cash and Biffman. But I think Heroes United got the last laugh.

FOOTAGE FROM SYN

A$AP Blondie was parading around the loaded flowers he used to attack Biffman to secure the victory for his team as Alexander nodded approvingly. But then Alexander was dropkicked out of the ring by Cash and Biffman!

A$AP BLONDIE
:o

Blondie was hit by a Fanfare from the Superman by Biffman and then put into a Midwest Sling by Cash, until ATM was able to pull him to safety.

COACH
Blondie and Alexander move on to face C02, but Heroes United, more like Sore Losers United. At least when Juicy and Mariachi lost to Christ Air Express in the mainevent they stayed gone long enough for Terry Taylor to interview the twins.

FOOTAGE FROM SYN

TAYLOR
MARV, MEL, you return to the OAOAST after nearly a half a year absence, you've won your Anderson Cup match, but what does bring you back?

MARV
They made it worth our while to come back.

MEL
And our man said we should take the chance they offered.

TAYLOR
Your man? Who's that?

MARV
We were gonna stay gone, but he said if they put money on the table, we need to cash in. And he said if we lose, and they don't wanna make it worth our time to stick around...

MEL
We ghost.

That was all the CAE had to say as they exited the ring leaving the fans with even more questions!

COMMERCIAL
 

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***Bra and Panties Match: Anastasia Violetta W/Melissa Nerdly and Phecda and Al Houd Vs Cassidy #2 W/Cassidy Maguire***

The Russin babe wore a tight fitting Alex Ovechikn Captials t-shirt and black leather pants, while Number Two dressed in all black to make her pale skin stand out. Ahead of this bra and panties affair, we had Cassidy sit next to Melissa on commentary for an explosive situation.

MELISSA
The word is you think you're gonna win the Lethal Bang, but ain't it a shame my girl Anastasia is ready to spread her legs to make me look good.

CASSIDY
Isn't part of the bible thumper DNA to be opposed to all sexual contact unless to create your buck tooth bowl cut ugly kids?

MELISSA
May be, but it's in my DNA to make sure you know who the queen bee is! And if Anastasia gotta commit sin after sin to do it, then so be it. Ain't me going to hell!

As for the bra and panty match, Number Two just started taking off her bottoms which may have made for a happy audience, but a confused one as well.

ANASTASIA
Uh...by all means go ahead!

CASSIDY
No, Powder, you're supposed to take her clothes off!

NUMBER TWO
That's odd, I like a good sexual assault as much as any college girl but who would have managed to figure that?

CASSIDY
Literally everyone above her iq of "retard" which doesn't include you!

So Number Two just snatched off Anastasia's top to send her big Russian boobs a spilling!

tumblr_okahzomGvD1rkiw19o1_1280.jpg

“YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

COACH
Yaaaahoooo~!

RENEE
I think your girl forgot the bra part of the match!

MELISSA
Like heck this will happen on my watch! Ya'll two, get to work!

That work is Phecda and Al Houd hurrying into the ring and pulling Anastasia and her bare boobies to safety!

CASSIDY
Don't just stand there like a socially inept and possibly autistic bump on a log, do something!

NUMBER TWO
Hmmmmm. I think I will actually attack them. Get ready. Here it comes. I spend a lot of time thinking of suicide so I have a good way to dive off high places.

COACH
:wtf:

Nothing comes for a second because Number Two has to think for a bit, but then she flies over the ropes and assails her escaping foes with a no hands twisting plancha that pops the crowd!

MELISSA
Naw! I won't let it happen!

Melissa stands up to aid Anastasia and gets hit in the red by a guitar that Cassidy had under sofa central!

"OOOOOHHHHHHHH!"

CASSIDY
A gift from my late friend, Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas.

COACH
He ain't dead.

CASSIDY
It's politically disadvantageous to be his friend. He's dead to me, and this inbred horse mouth hick is gonna be dead to the world if we don't get our tag title shot. Tell her that when she wakes up.

Cassidy leaves SC to give Number Two a pat on the head for a job well done and Number Two can jiggle away in pride...

tumblr_okai87M71r1rkiw19o1_500.gif

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ABANDONED LANDS
Long Beach, CA

A few Kingdom soldiers are digging a deep person sized hold, supervised by the dapper attired US champion who pats a gag, bounded and beaten man on the head.

LORD AC
Ronnie was it? And you all tell me this man was friends with Tristian when he was in TMW?

SOLDIER
Yes, milord, Ronnie was on the ring crew. He named his son after Tristian.

Ronnie begins to shed tears which Lord AC finds to be rather funny.

LORD AC
I want you to know, this has noting to do with you, my friend. I have been made very upset by Tristian Nystrom and do you know what happens to people who upset me?

RONNIE
Mmmmmfffff!

LORD AC
I take that as a no! I bury them, it is after all on my banners. The buried man of House Morris. I would bury Tristian you see, but he just won't show up. It's awfully cowardly of him, letting Ivar fight his battles for him, letting you be buried alive. You, a brand new father. How old is baby Tristian? I hope he grows up to have more balls than his namesake,

RONNIE
mmmmmmff!

LORD AC
If Tristian thinks he can stay away from me forever, that he gets to have a pleasant life, he hasn't been paying attention to who I am. I hope this wakes him up.

A ::beltshot:: knocks Ronnie into the open hole, and Lord AC smiles to himself as his goons begin burying his victim alive. 

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Pre-match OAOAST cameras captured TONY TOURETTES and EUPHORIA in the crowd enjoying each other more than the show (Vinny Valentine being the 3rd wheel). As a matter of fact, Euphoria, sporting a MINK COAT, fed Tony T chocolates and gave him Eskimo kisses!

*** E. Lance Mint, Tad Len & Job Burr vs. The 3 Amigos (OAOAST Trios Champions) ***

Non-title. Just a tuneup for the champs title defense at Anglepalooza vs. the X.F.L., Mathis Golden & Brock Ausstin. They score the easy W following Mariachi/Juicy's spike cradle tombstone piledriver.

RENEE
The Sheep Never Bother Me Anyway! 

COACH
Baaaaad. So very baaaaad.

Winners: The 3 Amigos, via pinfall.

During the match the 3 Amigos AP challengers were seen watching on a monitor backstage. OAOAST correspondent Terry Taylor attempted to conduct an interview and was shown the door by Mathis. 

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Inside their locker room having an important discussion are...

caeldori-head003.jpg

CAELDORI FOX

and...

ruby-head0033.jpg
RUBY

CAELDORI
Ruby, may I ask you something?

RUBY
You just did, but go on... What is it?

CAELDORI
How did you get to be so...uh, you know...?

RUBY
Hmm. I'm afraid I don't. What are you asking me?

CAELDORI
Well, it's just that you're really...uh...

RUBY
Waving your arms around like that isn't helping. You'll want to use words.

CAELDORI
Fine! I'll just spit it out. ...You're so...vaaa vaa voom! Hot! Hot!

RUBY
Oh, am I? Heehee! I'm not trying to be. That's just my nature.

CAELDORI
But how do you do it? I know I'm perfect, but I'm sick of being called a Goody-Two-Shoes all the time! 

RUBY
That's a rather apt description, don't you think?

CAELDORI
Can't you help me learn to be a bit more... uh...nasty...skanky?

Jim Cornette enters the room and the girls swoon over him

CORENTTE 
Caeldori don't you worry, you are hotter than a five alarm blaze in California in the middle of August, and the world knows it. Especially Men-U-Pause who know they're on their way down, and erections are on their way down when they show up. They made a mistake sending that twerp to fight me, he better go have a triple threat with Kenny Omega and a blowup doll before he faces me.

CAELDORI
You're so brave, Jimmy!

RUBY
(rubbing Cornette's crotch)
And so hard!

CORNETTE
That's 'cause I got back from Sophie's office and told her to put you, Ruby, in the Lethal Bang so you can show Men-U-Pause the right way to take it in all your holes and so Sophie can show them the door!

RUBY
Hehhehehe, watch and learn, Caeldori!
 

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***Anderson Cup, Chris Cage Bracket, Slaughter House W/Carl Macdonald Vs Cobra Strike***
Cobra Strike entered in their matching orange trunks to a huge and appreciative pop from the sold out audinc

COACH
Let's be for really real this nigga Windells always be with the fuck shit. "Ima team with Jock this season, but now it fall so ima roll with Cash, oh it's the new year? Better slide into Ned's DMs." Fuck shit.

RENEE
You're a goof! People have more than one friend. Not you, you have zero.

COACH
It hurts because it's the truth.

But before we got the match, Ned had something to say!

NED
You two hosses got this mealy mouth colonel Sanders at your side, but there ain't a damn thing you can do to top our manager!

“Ninja Rap” hit and the beautiful bouncing breasts and their owner, Melody skipped to ringside in support of her old charges!

MELODY
I was killing in it Overwatch, so this better be good!

And it is good as Cobra Strike kicked ass early and sent a Heavy D and Warthog out the ring as Carl took a seat at sofa central.

RENEE
Uh, shouldn't you be giving them advice?

CARL
The sport is 90 percent mental, my darling, and these boys don't know anything but how to hit and fight.

Indeed that was true as they returned to the ring and started brawling with their foes. Blanchard was pitched out of the ring by Heavy D and then the heels isolated BW.

MELODY
I said this had better be GOOD!

BW made Melody a happy Titty Mama as he powerslamed Heavy D and gave Warthog a Texas Tea Lariat. Ned came back into the ring and stomped a mudhole into Heavy D for good measure and a crowd pop! But Heavy D showed his stuff by blocking a punch and then hitting a half Nelson choke suplex followed by a senton!

HEAVY D
That good?!

MELODY
Very meh.

Ned's ensuing dropkick right on the mush was anything but meh and Heavy D started to bleed from the mouth. Cobra Strike then made that worse by teaming up with a double dropkick! But as Baron entered the ring MISTER DICK appeared on stage, in street clothes, which for him is tight jeans, cowboy boots, black tank and cowboy hat. Not to mention the hard interest he displayed in this match. Ned was none too happy with his rival's appearance and yelled at him to take a hike, in more vulgar words.

MELODY
Interesting, very interesting.

Baron kept the focus and hit a back suplex on Heavy D, followed by running leg drop for two.

CARL
A good ol Texas boy like Baron teaming with a typical soft hearted Californian doesn't sit right with me.

RENEE
You think because Ned has a sense of justice he's soft hearted?

CARL
Just about.

Baron and Heavy D brawled about the ring with hard hitting blows. But punches ended and Heavy D smoked Baron with a tiger suplex!

HEAVY D
Yeeehaaaww!

"BBBOOOOOOOOOO!"

Warthog got the tag and while with a less exciting moveset than his Canadian partner was still effective in grinding down the former world champion.

CARL
Just to let everyone know, ol Jack here has got a birthday coming up and the boys are getting him one hellcat of a gift. Hehhehehee!

RENEE
When you say that, I feel I need a cold shower.

Warthog locked on a chinlock, a far cry from Heavy D's attacks, but then Baron fought out and body slammed Warthog as Jock continued to gaze on but make no moves.

RENEE
What is going through Jock's mind right now?

CARL
Well hehehehehheh, he's just thinking he's glad he's not the one facing my boys.

Heavy D got an emergency tag and flapjacked his foe, then shocked everyone in existence with a middle rope moonsault! But the goodwill from the fans faded as Heavy D mocked Baron with a Jock style crotch chop, which Ned and Jock did not like.

RENEE
At least they can agree on that.

Heavy D thought he could get even showier with a package powerbomb, but the big Texan broke free of it and made Heavy D eat a Texas size right hand! When Heavy D had the nerve to rise, Baron scrambled his brains with a piledriver! The Cobras made the tag and Jock watched with arms folded as they teamed up with sandwich lariats to Heavy D!

MELODY
TRASH TALKER GETS EXPOSED MASSIVE OAOAST 2K BEATING! SUBSCRIBE FOR MOAR!

Uh anyway Heavy D took a pounding from Ol Ned, but got a blind tag from ol Hog. Warthog clobbered Ned with a lariat to the back of the head, and Heavy D just had to add in an electric chair turnbuckle toss!

“OOOOOHHHHHHHH!”

CARL
Well now hehehehe has the cobra been defanged?

Jock kept watching intently as Warthog put on another chinlock. Ned also broke out of it, but the Queens native him with a Chop Stick Mongolian chop in short order, cook!

COACH
Like a nigga got hit with two thanksgiving turkeys.

Warthog trapped his foe inside the Frosty Hug but Ned was able to use fists to escape. But instead of getting to BW, he tried to take on both Giants and paid the price as Heavy D attacked him with a Death Valley bomb!

"OOOOHHHHHH!"

HEAVY D
Jock isn't looking to bad now, is he, Baron? Or you wanna run to Timmy Cash?

COACH
See, Heavy D says it!

Ned did manage to fight out a regular powerbomb from Heavy D, but insisted on fighting by himself and was met with a Heavy D discus big boot and Warthog middle rope splash!

RENEE
I think Ned feels he had something to prove with Jock out here, but he has got to tag Baron.

Warthog beat on Ned some more, though Ned got his licks in. But not enough as Warthog drove him to the mat with a sidewalk slam! Heavy D got the tag and the fans became worried for Ned's health as the big Canadaian went up top!

MELODY
Oh noes!

But Ned was able to roll out the way of a Swanton Bomb!

MELODY
You lose, burger person!

The fans rooted Ned on and the OC based brawler got the tag to the big tough Texan!

"YYYEEEAAAAAAA!"

Heavy D pulled himself upright, which maybe he shouldn't have as Baron wowed the fans with a press slam on the big man!

RENEE
All that weight went flying!

Warthog grabbed BW from behind with a waist lock but got his hold broken and thrown into the corner where he got clobbered with a hip attack!

MELODY
Bite my Shiny Metal Ass!

Heavy D got back into things with a flurry of punches, then tried an ace crusher. But BW shoved him away then popped the fans with a Cowboy Bebop elbow!

MELODY
Yeah!

Warthog went for a home run swing with a Meat Hook lariat that seemed to knock Baron loopy. Snorting as usual, Warthog placed his foe on the top rope and hungered for a superplex. Instead Baron shoved him off and hit a top rope lariat as Jock continued to fixate on the match.

MELODY AND RENEE
ITS CLOBBERIN TIME!!

Baron saw Ned crawl upright, hanging himself against the top rope, but longing to get back in the fight.

COACH
Always gotta be center of attention, just like Krista.

Baron went over to his partner and good friend and whispered in his ear.

COACH
You telling him how you gonna keep bandwagoning like Cowgirls fans?

If he was then why, Coach, why did he grab Ned within a front facelock, and hang him on the top rope?!!!!

MELODY
This is fine.

Why, Coach, if it's friendly chatting does Baron pound his buddy, his man, his ace boon coon into the mat with a Brigham Young Cocktail DDT?!

"BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!"

MELODY
This is still fine.

RENNE
Baron...why did you do that?!

The only person not in a state of horror besides Baron and SH is Jock. The Human Hard On damn near creams himself with delight and praises the lord ala Melissa as he watches the replay on the big screen!

CARL
Well now ya can't trust a snake, but them Texas bulls will get ya too.

RENEE
Yeah, totally! I can't believe what I just saw!

BW then spit on Ned, a true low in the history of tag team breakups!

“ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!”

MELODY
Still fine.

Heavy D and Warthog were left to pick apart Ned's remains by the SH duo who hit the Meat Grinder to beat Ned and end his god awful night!

Winner: Heavy D and Warthog, via pinfall

RENEE
Heavy D and Warthog move on to face Chicks Over Dicks in what should be a heated match. But what we just saw...

COACH
Was amazing! Spit on that alcoholic nigga like he trash!

Post match the beasts may have been the winners, but all eyes were on Baron who marched up the ramp and gave a grinning Jock a high five!

RENEE
No! No!

The fans were irate and grew all the madder as The Gunslingers capped off the night by giving Ned a pair of crotch chops!

MELODY
This is not fine.

 

FADE OUT

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