Chanel #99 Posted December 19, 2016 Report Share Posted December 19, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD At Sofa Central stands a mini Christmas tree with OAOAST title belts as ornaments! COACH No F13 championship?! ***Ivar The Cunning Vs Outlaw Cello*** RENEE Ivar doesn't look all that concerned about AC's crazy threat to him. COACH He should be, though. Never know when he might find a stake to the back. Outlaw took the fight to Ivar early on, but the usually crushing offense of the New Mexico native did little to phase the 1000 year old vampire. Instead, Ivar tossed Cello into the corner and lit him up with strikes and punches. Then tossed him out to the center of the ring! COACH Threw him like he was a feathweight! RENEE And that's why Ivar isn't worried about AC, Coach. Cello took that personally and went harder at Ivar. But Ivar still wasn't overly hurt by Cello's attacks. Desprate Cello went for a powerbomb, but Ivar fought out of hit then hit his Time Will Destory Everything, wrist clutch DDT for a finisher. Winner: Ivar The Cunning, via pinfall Post-match, SER PIKE PANTERA ran in and GORE'D Ivar! But much to everyone's amazement, Ivar sat right up and pitched Pike out of the ring! “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Its gonna take more than sending people out to do your dirty work, AC! A lot more! OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~! Last Week The 3 Amigos defeat Rico de Janeiro, Remy Brazil & Pete to regain OAOAST 6-man tag championship. OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~! Then OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor conducted an interview with All XFL Team General Manager Rick Heyross, joined by The Playmakers and Brock Ausstin. Heyross issued a challenge to the new 6-man tag champs on behalf of his men, calling the Amigos a JV team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2016 Backstage, OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood got an update on Tony Tourettes from his own flesh and blood Vinny Valentine, who denied reports his pops tried to commit suicide. VINNY Whoa, whoa, whoa! I admit, my... p-pops is a bit down over the whole secret admirer no show at November Reign. (clears threat) 'Scue me. All these years later and it's still hard to believe my partner in crime was really my pops! Anyways, he ain't the kinda guy to just off himself. No way. Yeah he's fat and ugly and even Dollar Donna won't touch him to make a quick buck... Oh shit! I coming pops Inside the interview lounge the party is in full swing with Holiday cheer for the season. But not cheerful is one Blaine Cayley, dressed in his famous trenchcoat who paces behind Sara Jean and Sammi Cayley, who is wearing Gloss' “Fang Banger” t-shirt. SARA JEAN Hey, everybody, Sara Jean here with Sammi and Blaine Cayley, and Sammi is he ok? SAMMI Umm...well, no to be frank. Our parents always told us to put on the best face we can in public regardless of what's happening behind closed doors, but what's happening to us isn't behind closed doors its out in public. SARA JEAN Let me try to get him focused. Blaine, Tyler Bryant demands you name the exact moment you'll cash in your Money In The Bank contract. Are you going to do that? Blaine's pacing comes to an end and he stares with hard blue eyes into the camera. BLAINE AnglePalooza. SARA JEAN …..Okay, I'm sure Tyler will say no matter what night you pick he can't lose. BLAINE They all lose when my Cruel Intentions goes through their skull. Blaine clams up and continues his glare into the camera, a glare that has to be aimed at Tyler! SAMMI Sara Jean, I think you saw what happened on SYN, right? After beating Heavy D, Blaine was attacked pretty much out of nowhere by The Army of One Nation. Just what has Blaine done to them? Be Welsh? BLAINE The Army of One Nation. The Army of One Nation. SARA JEAN ....Maybe it is because you're Welsh? They say they have the power of the whole USA behind them. BLAINE They have the power of a whole arse kicking coming to them, and that's all they have. If Blaine was about to say anything more, which I doubt he was, he can't thanks to DETECTIVE BOSLEY clobbering him from behind with DA TELESCOPIC BATON~! If that wasn't enough CPA, who might I remind you is a former pro boxer, lays into our hero with punches! SAMMI Leave him alone! Luckily VICE doesn't get in too many shots as SPENCER REIGER and GLOSS ANGIEACOLA run in with a gang of OAOAST officials to save Blaine and run VICE off. SPENCER Dude, are you okay? Blaine grunts an affirmative, but clearly he is not okay as Spencer and Gloss have to help him to his feet. Blaine, along with everyone else, wears an expression of confusion as they have no clue why VICE would attack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2016 Courtesy of OAOAST SYN we see DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW receive an offer from MR. DICK to train him for his upcoming Ejaculation Challenge against Krista Isadora Duncan. Deuce basically tells him to fuck off. Back LIVE! OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood is at the world famous interview lounge with one-half of the OAOAST Tag Team Champions, Mr. Dick. He reiterated his offer (mentioned he has the Kama Sutra memorized!) and took a jab at Big IQ for Ice Quiz posting lyrics on social media to describe their feelings about the tag title situation (see last week's show). ***Deuce Deuce Bigelow W/Carl MacDonald Vs Job Burr*** Carl mosey'ed on up to the commentary desk to share his thoughts and feelings COACH Carl, finally you join us for commentary. RENEE Yep, and not a moment too soon. How is a wrestling match supposed to prepare Deuce for a No Holes Barred challenge Krista? Why not take Jock up on his offer? Jock has actually had sex with Krista several times and with her own mother! Deuce has only ever had sex with Krista in a gangbang and didn't last that long. CARL Well now, sometimes you gotta rustle up the ol bull, make em made before ya get him to do what needs doing. COACH Sir, you are a brilliant business man and leader. RENEE You're calling him sir? Burr did get Deuce mad by actually trying to wrestle a match and attack him. So Deuce beat his ass and tossed him out the ring! But that wasn't enough and he beat his ass to the point where there was a count out! DOUBLE COUNT OUT And that wasn't enough because Deuce went on to powerbomb Job Burr onto the steel entrance ramp! CARL I reckon the ol bear is plenty riled up at this point. COACH Sir, you are so knowledgeable and wise. Will you adopt me? I swear I'll grow up to be a man you can be proud of. RENEE Yikes, Coach, have some dignity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2016 Backstage Melissa is walking down the hallway with BFF and fellow tag team title holder, Anastasia Violetta, who now wears the PYM Christmas antlers! Melissa for her part holds THE HOLY BIBLE. ANASTASIA Its impressive how you remember that Christmas is really about Jesus birthday. MELISSA Girl, you got this one all wrong! I'm looking for a bible passage I can use to rally the Parents Television Council to help me get Delta Delta Delta of my keister, out this company and out the tag title match at New Years Spe-WHOOOAAAAAA Melissa's latest problem is that as she and Anastasia have rounded the corner, MORGAN NERDLY has tripped her! MORGAN Oh, wow, what a tumble. MELISSA Just what the heck do you think yer doing?! Even for you this is awfully low. Not to mention you got super powers, lord knows if I had super powers I wouldn't be lurking round no corners, I'd be tossing lightning bolts in Renee's Cheerios! MORGAN You look pretty injured. MELISSA I'm fine, no thanks to you. MORGAN No, Melissa, you look really injured. Too injured to compete until well after the new year. MELISSA ….. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2016 The state of the art interview set is our scene with James E Cornette with his Midnight Foxes who are wearing their Santa Foxes Christmas tees in sexy cut off top fashion right next to Josh Matthews. MATTHEWS Midnight Foxes, Jim Cornette, personally you had a run in with Archie Stumplebottom at November Reign that luckily helped cost Clem and Wanda their lives, but I don't think this issue that developed between your girls and Men-U-Pause in the Miss Anderson Cup is going to end? CAELDORI Poor, Jimmy, poor poor Jimmy! Why is this happening to someone as sexy and awesome and cool as him? MATTHEWS RUBY Mwaahahahahha, listen, let me cast one of my special curses, and I'll have him dripping blood from his eyeballs onto that bitch Malaysia's face! CAELDORI Ewww, you're the perfect friend, but your curses are just no. CORNETTE Thank you kindly, Ruby, but I have already spoken to Sophie, and who said the French aren't for a good fight, she's given me just that. Ten years ago NBC did news segment called To Catch a Predator, while they failed to catch Pete-O before America's kids could be scared for life, they caught one predator named Twink Toilet. And, Archie Stumplebottom that's exactly what I plan on turning you into, a twink toilet, in the first ever face sitting match at New Years Spectacular! MATTHEWS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2016 As we return from break, OAOAST Original and Hall of Famer Tony Brannigan stands before a boisterous crowd mid-ring. BRANNIGAN Hello world! Earlier tonight Blaine Cayley made it official: he will cash in his Money in the Bank contract at Anglepalooza against this man, accompanied by THE FLEX and Lorelei DeCenzo, OAOAST World Champion... TYLER BRYANT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" RENEE This should be interesting. "Rising Up" blares through the speakers as Tyler Bryant, looking straight out of a GQ photo shoot, basks in the tears of his haters while Lorelei cheers him on. COACH What a pair! Tyler and Lorelei, I mean. RENEE Uh-huh. BRANNIGAN Tyler Bryant, last week you said you'd refuse to work the 2017 OAOAST New Year's Spectacular unless Blaine publicly stated when he intended to cash his Money in the Bank contract. You got your answer tonight. Which means you no longer have to fear a surprise cash in on New Year's night when you and THE FLEX meet Blaine Cayley and Spencer Reiger in tag team action. TYLER First of all, let's address the elephant in the room. That being this idea pushed by a bunch of keyboard warriors on social media that I've been going out of my way to needle you, Brannigan. RENEE Because you have! TYLER Well you're right, I have! You're like those British guys in the funny furry hats who gotta remain still no matter what, Brannigan. I mean I could whip out my 9 millimeter and paintbrush you and there isn't a thing you could do about it, but that's more up Mr. Dick's alley. The irony though. You're paid not to get physical in your current interviewer role but pay some young hottie very generously to get physical! LORELEI & FLEX FLEX TYLER (to TB) Hey. Hey! Do you make the girls call you "daddy"? LORELEI & TYLER FLEX BRANNIGAN TYLER As for Blaine, he sure seems to be rubbing a lot of people wrong lately, don't you think? I mean, who even knows if he'll make it to Anglepalooza! But if he does, one day he and Samantha will be able to tell their genetic defect kids... LORELEI TYLER (CONT'D)... about the time he was part of history, losing to me on the night I passed Drek Stone as the longest reigning OAOAST World Champion of all time! BRANNIGAN (wryly) It's almost as if somebody placed a bounty on Blaine's head! TYLER Bounty? Heh. Some joker you are, Brannigan. We aren't living in the Wild West anymore. BRANNIGAN I don't think it's any coincidence the recent attacks on Blaine coincided with your off-the-cuffs remarks last week. TYLER Coincided?! You've been hanging around with Christian Wright lately? What about my privacy being violated? LORELEI You can bet the OAOAST will be hearing from our attorneys about that! BRANNIGAN Listen, kid. I know every trick in the book. TYLER What are you insinuating, old man? BRANNIGAN TYLER (laughs) Oh God. I gotta snap a pic of this. Called Brannigan's ass out and now he's about to piss himself! Tyler whips out his phone and snaps a pic of TB. LORELEI Let's take a group selfie too! Tyler and Flex keep it chill while Lorelei is all duck face/deuces. * SNAP * The gang take another photo. This time Lorelei blows a kiss. * SNAP * Tyler and company are about to snap one final pic when TB suddenly spins the OAOAST Champion around and plants him into the mat with a spine busting OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE!!! "YYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" LORELEI & THE FLEX COACH DAYUM~! "TONY!" "TONY!" "TONY!" Fist cocked, TB is ready in case Flex wants to get involved, but the OAOAST Original's sudden outburst has the big man shell shocked. RENEE Tony Brannigan, our longtime colleague, finally had enough of Tyler's antics. OAOAST officials storm the ring to keep the situation from escalating. Even Sophie appears. Stunned like everybody else, she watches TB get escorted passed her as the OAOAST Galaxy continues to lose their shit over what they've just seen. FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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