Chanel #99 Posted December 12, 2016 Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD We break in LIVE as we've already got fireworks, not from the pyro and ballyhoo, but DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW (in biker clothing) attacking the local talent booked in a pre-show warmup match. * DING * DING * DING * DING * OAOAST officials plead with Deuce to end the mayhem, while outside OAOAST security protect Renee and Da Coach as the production crew frantically piece Sofa Central together again, from the audio cables to the famous seat of R&C which currently rests on the back of one of the poor bastards who came to strut his stuff on the big stage! "KRI-STA!" "KRI-STA!" "KRI-STA!" The source of his frustration obvious, Deuce is taunted by the OAOAST Galaxy. But the crowd's attempt to get under Deuce's skin backfires, as he egged them on instead. Then the Beast from Sin City pressed the last guy left in the ring overhead and HURLED him onto OAOAST officials!!! "HO-LY SHIT!" "HO-LY SHIT!" "HO-LY SHIT!" Deuce grabs the mic after daring the remaining OAOAST officials standing to step in and stop him, which they smartly decide against. DEUCE (pacing) Krista! I know you're back there. FACE ME, YOU BITCH! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" I stay out too late Got nothing in my brain That's what people say, mmm-mmm That's what people say, mmm-mmm I go on to many dates [chuckle] But I can't make 'em stay At least that's what people say, mmm-mmm That's what people say, mmm-mmm But I keep cruising Can't stop, won't stop moving It's like I got this music In my mind Singing, "It's gonna be alright." 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off “YYYYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! KRISTA Somebody crank up the heat? My ears are burning! Oh hey, Big D! I didn't see you there in the ring. Actually that's not true. How could I not see you! You're Big D! At least on the outside, because once you get under those pants. . . DEUCE KRISTA Oh. Silly me. I forgot guys can be sensitive about that sort of thing. *devilish grin* Anyway, I'm facing you. . . but I'm only hearing you bitch! DEUCE It's always fun and games with you. Well you know what? I've got a game we can play and it's called RIP THE HEAD OFF BARBIE! KRISTA Hmm, that sounds like a challenge. DEUCE A special challenge just for you, sweetheart. No holds barred. Anything goes. I'll show you just how big and bad I am. KRISTA One moment. *bites lip* That got me a little wet. DEUCE You're startin' to sweat already! KRISTA I mean anything goes? No holes barred? DEUCE KRISTA I accept the ultimate challenge! Anything goes, no holes barred, come as you. The first person to make their opponent CUM wins! DEUCE KRISTA Congratulations Deuce. You have a future as a matchmaker. I better go hit the showers and start my training for this one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 A camera man is sort of roaming the hallways, TNA style if you willllllll, and happens to pick up on a conversation between Lorelei DeCenzo and Tyler Bryant. LORELEI I am as mad as you about the Blaine Cayley situation. TYLER Don't give him that respect, calling him a situation, a threat. Ha! The Blaine Cayley moth is attracted the flames of my greatness. That's what he is. A moth, an insect. Why does Sophie keep him around. Who needs Blaine? I could go a local prep school and find ten Blaines. What's it say about you when the only thing good about you is your sister? LORELEI Is she even that good? Vapid bitch. And the fans have the nerve to cheer for her? That whole family makes me sick. There's some garbled talking before we pick up these words... TYLER Someone nee eds to do something about Blaine. Now. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 Courtesy of OAOAST AfterParty. . . Deirdre, Rico de Janeiro and Remy Brazil have a meeting of the minds while Pete is basically left at the kiddie table (not that he'd complain). DEIRDRE Well? RICO Well, what? Deidre flashes the money sign. PETE I think Deirdre wants her cut of the pie, Reek. *taps OAOAST 6-man tag title* REMY Oh no. No, no, no, no. DEIRDRE Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I am your manager, after all. There's also the matter of a few thousand dollars missing from my name. I did some digging and it just so happens the missing amount matches the cost of certain protection services! PETE I begged them not to take it, Deirdre. Honest! Rico and Remy shove Pete to shut him up. RICO (to Deirdre) We never asked you to be our manager. Sophie stuck us with your ass. Until we won some gold you showed zero interest in our careers. DEIRDRE Until you stole my money I had zero interest in your well being. It would've been a different story had you consulted with me first. Instead you take my money and don't clue me in on your plans. RICO Damn, girl. Why get your panties in a bunch over a few g's? Ain't like you gonna live for-- You'll get your money back. Just give me a few days. Back LIVE! OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood is with the OAOAST 6-man tag champs and Deirdre. DEIRDRE Well? It's been a few days. RICO Don't get your panties in a bunch. We got your money. DEIRDRE Then all is well. RICO Just not all of it. DEIRDRE All is not well. RICO Hey, calm down! Living the life of a champion costs money. Good news is, holding a title is a license to print money. Just win baby! And we got the 3 Amigos tonight in a rematch. REMY To make it short and sweet: we got this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 *** 6-Man Tag Title: The 3 Amigos vs. Rico de Janeiro, Remy Brazil & Pete © w/ Deirdre *** As it turned out, the champs didn't have this. Instead the 3 Amigos regained the 6-man titles after Chick hit Rico with the Sky is Falling. DEIRDRE Watching backstage during the match were All XFL Team members The Playmakers and Brock Ausstin, who surprisingly cheered the 3 Amigos post-match. Winners: The 3 Amigos, via pinfall. New champions! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 Melody's video gaming center is our scene which Melody has tried to clean up to make it presentable for OAOAST Hotties' Champion, Annagret Wickedborn who sits in a cute jersey top with her name on it and her Hotties Title on her lap. MELODY Hi! This is your weekly OAOAST 2k17 preview and I really classed the joint up like when Moe made a family restaurant on The Simpsons. And the reason I did....Annagret! ANNAGRET You call this classing up? MELODY I do indeed! I even set a trap for the mice that come and steal my Dominoes. ANNAGRET Ugh. I should cut you some slack, probably, I hear being a loser is cool these days. So congrats. MELODY Mean word is mean. But, anyway, its awesome that you're the champ again. That was a crazy scramble match and it came down to you and December. ANNAGRET Yeah, December is a great girl, and like hugely talented, and hugely hot, I'd lay the smackdown on her tits for sure. MELODY Whooo yeah! ANNAGRET I'm sure she'll have her day in the sun as Hotties champion, just not while I'm around of course. But, I mean again, her tits are still bigger than mine so there's that one win. MELODY Cool! I know you're pumped for OAOAST 2k17 to come out! ANNAGRET Yeah, but no not really. MELODY Excellent! And with a 24 gb day one patch you'll be able to play it just after the 30 minute mandatory install and hours long download of the patch. Awesome! Why don't we see how Simon Singleton looks? MELODY Okay, 2k, you silly fuck heads, he wears a tuxedo jumpsuit! That was neither tuxedo nor jumpsuit! Back to Smash Brothers for me! But for the rest of you let's see digital Annagret... ANNAGRET Hey I'd fuck me.... SUGAR (OS) I bet you would! THE NATURE GIRL struts into the gaming room, wearing one of her Flair inspired robes. SUGAR I bet you would give yourself a hickey- ANNAGRET A hickey? SUGAR 'Cause you're the only one in the whole freaking universe who thinks you don't look anything Edd from Edd, Ed, and Eddy! And that's the truth! MELODY Uh-oh. SUGAR You done beat the lesser Belle, and I hear you flapping yer gums saying how she's all that. You got that right she's all that the law needs to make forced sterilizations because we don't wanna run the risk of anyone having a kid like her! ANNAGRET Soooo like I guess we should have kids like you? SUGAR I ain't no kid, punk! I'm a grown woman, and I'm a former Hotties Champion, and it just so happens I done won that belt because you was too second rate to hold onto it. ANNAGRET Second rate? The only thing second rate is your bra stuffing job! SUGAR Whaaaa?! Hold me back! Hold me back! Melody, hold me back! Melody doesn't hold Sugar back, but Sugar doesn't actually do anything. Anything that is besides get slapped by Annagret! SUGAR WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Sugar is balling her eyes out and runs off in tears. ANNAGRET Hurry home, you'll have to report to juvi if you're out past 10! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 We're inside the ring as we return to live action where King Landon and his Kingdom stand proudly, especially the brand new US Champion, Ser AC The Exile. KING LANDON Its very classless for a king to tout his own kingdom's accomplishments, yes, yes, very classless. Very. I'm a classy guy. A classy king! Yes, that's me. Ser Felix, speak! That is why you all will listen to him. Listen good! SER FELIX The holiday season is in full effect, and gift giving is at it's apex. But trust and believe, you do not have to give The Kingdom much, just give us your praise and loyalty and raise your hands to hail the rulers of this here Galaxy! “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!” SER FELIX Hail to the King, hail to the King! But please don't forget the brand new United States Champion...SER ALEARYS CHANCE THE EXILE! “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!” Hammered by the chorus of jeers, AC steps forward with his title belt over his shoulder and a mocking grin upon his face. SER AC What knight does King Landon need the least? I bet your answer would have been Ser Alearys Chance The Exile. Unfortunately, you would have been right. I neglected my duties as a knight and brought much dishonor to House Maddix and the Kingdom. By winning the United States title I only hope that I have maybe set to rights my many wrong doings. Lord Northstar raises an eyebrow to this clearly thinking AC is full of shit, but King Landon is floored by the humility of Ser AC. KING LANDON Modesty, modesty, yes very good. Any good knight should be humble in the face of his own greatness. But, I'm not a knight, I'm a king, the king of the galaxy! The king of the OAOAST! I am living the dream, I am the greatest success story ever told! RENEE Whaaaaa? KING LANDON And now, now one of my very own knights has been motivated by my inspirational climb to the throne. Yes, he has been inspired! Yes, oh yes! SER AC Of course my lord. You are a great inspiration to me. KING LANDON You, Alearys are more than what a knight should be! Why, now that I think about it...you should be a lord! LORD NORTHSTAR Your grace? KING LANDON Yes, a lord! Of course a lord! Of course, of course! You must be a lord! You beat a vile man that neither myself nor Lord Northstar could beat and took the United States title back into the Kingdom's castle. You are more than a knight! You are a leader of men! Yes! You'll have less men to lead than me but you know still close, still close. What do you say? LORD NORTHSTAR Your grace, perhaps you would be better served to mull over this decision after a good night's rest. KING LANDON What?! Are you questioning me? Questioning me? Are you King Landon of House Maddix, first of his name, king of Spain, and king of the OAOAST? Are you? No! I don't think so. I do not think so! I think I am King Landon of House Maddix, first of his name, king of Spain, and king of the OAOAST! Me! So don't you think, maybe, maybe just me I know when I want to make a lord! Do you think so? Do you? Amazingly enough, AC steps in front of Lord Northstar in hopes of smoothing over the situation. SER AC Your grace, Lord Northstar is only concerned fatigue might play a role in your decision. But I personally am assured that it does not, and I consider it a high honor to accept this position of Lord. I only hope I serve you as well as my mentor, Lord Northstar. LORD NORTHSTAR …...................... SER AC As my first official act as lord, let me make the following announcement to my absentee squire Tristian Nystrom...Tristan you failed to show at November Reign. You allowed the world to laugh at me like I am an idiot, you have betrayed my trust , you have betrayed the OAOAST. You are a coward, your life now belongs to me, come and see. Your good friend the elderly Klaus is in my dungeon. Shreds of skin are on the floor, come and see. Your mentor Ivar will be minus a testicle and soon minus a head when I'm done with him, come and see. I want my dignity back, bow down before me and I won't trouble the rest of the people you call friends or family. Continue to ignore me and I will ride out and slaughter anyone you care about. You will watch as my men take turns raping the women you have loved, you will watch as I feed your wild big brother to my dogs. Then I will spoon your eyes from their sockets and let my dogs do the rest. Come and see. LORD NORTHSTAR The crowd is every bit as horrified Lord Northstar is, just wondering what the hell is wrong with this man! King Landon, on the other hand, gives a resounding thumbs up to this show of royal might. RENEE Just disgusting! What's wrong with this guy? Seriously? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 Backstage, OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor stands outside the office of OAOAST boss lady Sophie. Suddenly BIG IQ storm out. CW Preposterous! As the door closes behind them we see MR. DICK and SOPHIE kiss each other on both cheeks! TERRY I guess we won't be hearing from Big IQ. OAOAST tag champions Mr. Dick and Baron Windels emerge and MD has the biggest shit eating grin on his mug. TERRY What was that all about? MR. DICK T.C.B., T.T. *clicks tongue* BARON To be perfectly honest Terry. . . MD rolls his eyes over the "honest" mention. BARON (CONT'D) . . . Big IQ got in touch with me about getting their rematch for the OAOAST tag titles, so I got together with Jock and he sent up the meeting with Sophie. MISTER DICK And like I told her, we didn't just beat Big IQ for the belts, we SPANKED 'em! Felt so nice we did it twice at November Reign. Now they expect us to let 'em cut in front of the line when it comes to getting a title shot?! Pfft! (into camera) If you guys are as good as you say you are, then you'll go win the Anderson Cup -- again -- and earn your rematch. Make a little history in the process going back-to-back. Boost your confidence a bit. Then again, you fellas might prefer going bareback with each other than making history! *laughs* BW shakes his head at the remark. MISTER DICK Any more questions? We got a match to prepare for. TERRY I was gonna get to that because tonight marks the first time you guys have defended the OAOAST Tag Team Championship since winning them at the Halloween Spectacular! MISTER DICK You say that like we've been avoiding defending our title. TERRY Not my intent. MISTER DICK Well that's how it came off. BW steps in to calm his partner. BARON You're right Terry. We haven't gotten to defend these titles are often as we'd like, although it's not because we lack fight. MISTER DICK Hello no! BARON You know Sophie loves surprise and she certainly gave the OAOAST Galaxy a good one with her Wildcard match at November Reign. With that out of the way we finally get the opportunity to defend our title. Tonight it's Dem Bums, former champions themselves. It's a match Vinny Valentine asked for hoping it'll give Tony Tourettes his drive back just a bit. MISTER DICK And we gave them a shot because they deserve it. I think I overheard one of the stat geeks say those guys never even got a rematch after losing the titles! About time they do I say. ***Tyler Bryant W/Lorelei DeCenzo and THE FLEX Vs Jo-Jo Whoa*** RENEE Pretty big match for JoJo, who is mostly a tag wrestler these days but has singles experience. Tyler and Jo Jo engaged in a lockup to start and traded head locks and wrist locks. But that was over in a minute, as Jo Jo cranked up the heat win springboard moonsault press! The fans continued to be wowed as Jo Jo hit a slingshot leg drop, followed by a rolling thunder! RENEE Borrowing a move from Tanner! COACH More like stealing. And I bet Jo-Jo is the type of shady Canadian to steal Christmas presents. RENEE What a weird insult. Tyler exited the ring to regroup and rethink and got strategy and encouragement from Lorelei. RENEE There's the difference maker. COACH The champion maker! Whatever Lorelei said to Tyler worked as when he got back in the ring he proceeds to dominate Jo Jo. But the Montreal native wouldn't go down do easily and blocked a running neckbreaker then hit his slingshot cutter! RENEE Jo Jo Butter Cutter! COACH Still can't believe it's named that. Jo Jo played to the fans then went to the top rope, but he was crotched by Tyler, who soon brought him down with a Avalanche facebuster! Jo Jo was then picked up and hit with 0 to 100 to take a loss. Winner: Tyler Bryant, via pinfall Post-match Sara Jean was on hand to interview Tyler Bryamt LORELEI Heheh. What's this, Tony The Body couldn't stand the heat? Is he afraid standing in the spotlight with The Serial Killer will expose to the world what sort of joke he is. Well, Tony The Body, its too late for that, everyone knows your post in ring career has not been kind to anything about you. Your looks, your prestige and from what I hear...your sex life. SARA JEAN Where's your Christmas spirit? TYLER That is our Chirstmas spirit, not having to be next to Tony The “Dad” Body! Hahhahhaa, that was a good one. So, Sara Jean, what do you want with The Serial Thriller. SARA JEAN I wanted to talk to you about how everything went wrong for you at November Reign. You were eliminated by Blaine Cayley and your team lost the entire match. TYLER Hhehehe, when a man has been as down as long as Blaine Cayley has the people like to look up to him. They like to show the underdog fake love when it looks like he just might take the yard from the main canine. But let's face facts, Blaine, just when shits within reach for you I'm already ready to pull it back from you. You can not son me, nor do you run me. One fluke win in a stupid gimmick match might have gassed your head up big time, you might be floating towards the sky, but the next time you hear the words “ Give it to...give it to me!” It will be time to come back down to earth. SARA JEAN He's gonna hear it sooner rather than later, he and Spencer will be fighting you and FLEX at New Years Spectacular. LORELEI What?! On who's authority?! SARA JEAN Sophie's. Who else? TYLER What is this? Some kind of trick, Sara Jean? SARA JEAN No, its Hot Newz~! TYLER Hot Newz? Hot Newz? I've got the hottest news of all! Burning hot fresh off the press! The hot newz is I won't even step inside a damn onion ring much less a wrestling ring with that Welsh idiot until he tells me when and where he's going to cash in his Money In The Bank contract! SARA JEAN Historically that's not how it works. LORELEI Excuse me? That was the past, this is the future, Tyler Bryant's era. The world operates on the rules he sets. Blaine Cayley, you've heard the man. Now if you have your sister's permission we'll be expecting an answer sooner rather than later. The duo storm off, greatly upset by this piece of news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 *** Tag Title Match: Dem Bums vs. Mr. Dick & Baron Windels © *** Tony T's drive didn't return as Vinny hoped. Instead he stood on the apron, his head down as Vinny took a beating courtesy of Mr. Dick. When Vinny finally managed to make a tag Tony T decided to charge past MD and do the old Cactus Jack hangman spot getting his head struck between the ropes. . . only his intent was to CHOKE himself!! RENEE, COACH, BW & VINNY MISTER DICK The ref quickly stopped the match and along with Vinny untied Tony T. TONY T (strained whisper) Dirty. Freaking. Fucking. Whore. Cunt! Winners: Mr. Dick & Baron Windels, via ref stoppage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 I won't just survive Oh, you will see me thrive Can't write my story I'm beyond the archetype I won't just conform No matter how you shake my core 'Cause my roots, they run deep, oh Oh, ye of so little faith Don't doubt it, don't doubt it Victory is in my veins I know it, I know it And I will not negotiate I'll fight it, I'll fight it I will transform When, when the fire's at my feet again And the vultures all start circling They're whispering, "You're out of time," But still I rise This is no mistake, no accident When you think the final nail is in Think again Don't be surprised I will still rise As “Rise” by Katy Perry begins playing we're treated to the sight of Pretty Young Money arriving onto the scene. Phecda and Al Houd wear official PYM With The Band tank tops, while Melissa is dressed as a good ol country girl, and Anastasia goes for a modern type look in tight black leggings and offical PYM ugly Christmas sweater. RENEE Hey look, billboards can walk! COACH Don't be mad cause PYM got the best merch. The foursome enter the ring, minus Sugar this time, and Melissa as always takes the forefront. MELISSA Lordy, lordy me, what a year its been. Am I right, ya'll? Me and my gal Anastasia won not one, not two but three Hotties tag titles and won the Miss Anderson Cup to boot. And I already got twenty five signatures on my petition to change the trophy to a statue of me reaching out to Christ and offering him salvation. RENEE She offers him salvation?! MELISSA After all we're heading to his birthday and what better gift than to show him that his numero uno fan and favorite lady is truly golden! Is that statue gold, I didn't wanna say nothing but I detect brass, or worse yet a copper paint over like the junk Morgan used to bring home from school that I'd have to pretend to like. “You have to be nice to Morgan, Melissa, so she grows up and becomes a good person.” Ya'll saw how well that worked out, huh. ANASTASIA Yes, well, its been a great year! To borrow a line from Tyler Bryant, what a time to be a live! What a time to be in the Christmas spirit! MELISSA Boy howdy am I in it! Am I in it! Because I done seen the demons of the devil sent to test humanity's finest be smited in defeat. Or is it smote? I think it is smote. Be smote in defeat! I saw it, I saw it for free because I work here, and I don't gotta shell out a dime from my package handler job at USPS like ya'll do! Ha! COACH Step ya game up, broke boys. MELISSA Ya'll know exactly what I'm talking about, the demise of Clem Buzzlefoxxer and his zombie freaks. Now, I never liked Clem when he was alive. He was all wrinkly and slow, and stooped over and had those dang spots on his bald head. RENEE He was eighty six! MELISSA So when Leon killed him I said good riddance to bad apples, but then somehow he done came back! Why's it always gotta be the worst of the worst that get to come back to god's green earth? Yokozuna came back as Rikishi, British Bulldog came back as Nathaniel Black, all sorts of terrible people returning to life and it makes me sick! RENEE What wild pseudo science hat was. And very offensive. MELISSA Me and the gang were gearing up to take care of this zombie problem. We had heavy plans, called in men from the pentagon to help us plan this, had a prayer circle with Sarah Palin and then when we all ready to go the fine ladies of Delta Delta Delta stepped in, and god bless their little hearts, they done took care of the zombie problem before we had a chance to bring the lord's justice to these walking dead creeps. RENEE Yeah, I'm sure you were gonna get right on that, Melissa. COACH You don't believe her? RENEE The zombies invaded in May, its December! What took Melissa so long? PHECDA There most be an honoring. AL HOUD Praise and reward must be heaped upon Delta Delta Delta. PHECDA To have it come from Melissa is to have it come from an angel. MELISSA Ain't that the truth. Ladies, I got a special place resting my head on the right shoulder of Jesus and I want ya'll girls to come on down and share in the loving. I'm a wanderess I'm a one night stand Don't belong to no city Don't belong to no man I'm the violence in the pouring rain I'm a hurricane Ha ah ah ha ah ah ah I'm a hurricane Ha ah ah ha ah ah ah I'm a hurricane “Hurricane” hits to the mammoth ovation from the sold out crowd and out comes the pink and white clad fashionable sorority, Delta Delta Delta. The girls are quite happy to be zombie free and walk to the ring with the fans singing their praises. RENEE Funny enough, it was Pretty Young Money who beat Delta in the Miss Anderson Cup after Cassidy got arrested for setting Wanda on fire. COACH That's in the ring competition. Don't mean PYM doesn't respect the hell out of them for beating the zombies. MELISSA Ain't ya'll just as pretty as a gang of peaches! Cousin, Pierette, I had my doubts about ya succeeding anywhere but the craft room of a funny farm, but I got a text from Christ today and he said “that girl's going to heaven.” PIRETTE Heheeh yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy! CASSIDY MELISSA I see you looking like a Negative Nancy, Cassidy, but you turn that frown upside down, girl. You're from a proud wrestling family, just like we all are! And you showed the power and the strength that comes from good ol fashioned American family values. Real folks out there, are gonna turn to their brother or their sister and they're gonna say, we need to stick together as a family too! I'm sorry my sister Morgan cheated ya'll, but Pierette knows that girl's about as honest as dog in heat! Can't trust her, and she dang sure don't know nothing about family values. But for all of us, all of us are family. Even little Sugar, who's backstage grumbling about something. GRETCHEN Upon my word you have given your opinion of us rather decidedly! Our superior mastery of the deadly arts and high breeding is in fact supported by the strong familial bonds we share for one another. Dispensing of the zombie of threat was a great accomplishment, and you and your friends are very kind to celebrate our achievements. Though several exotic dancers of the male gender may have beaten you to the punch. No matter, we thank you. * BZZZZZZT *OMG~! The hidden camera returns with footage labeled “HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR” which shows Melissa Nerdly on her cell phone with Anastasia hovering next to her. MELISSA LVPD, I just witnessed an act of arson! Arson and assault! A small woman named Cassidy Maguire just set another gal on fire, and given these trying an difficult times in the world I don't think she should be allowed to walk free among us law abiding and god fearing citizens. So ya'll better hurry on up, because she's about to go perform and we don't wanna cause a scene and make everyone all panicked. You know? * BZZZZZZT *OMG~! MELISSA Hhehe, uh..uh...looks like...Molly's up her fancy movie tricks....right, gang? CASSIDY I knew inbreeding caused retardation, but never did I think it would emerge on this level and ruin my life! Time for you to be out the gene pool, Shania Twat! MELISSA SAVE ME! Phecda and Al Houd hurry Melissa out of the ring, but of course leave Anastasia behind! CASSIDY Your country did help Mister Trump pick up the W, but I'm not letting you off the hook. Time to burn. GRETCHEN Cassidy, no! Gretchen steps in front of Cassidy, preventing her from unleashing a fireball of doom. Anastasia has the good since to haul ass and run off with her stablemates as Delta Delta Delta remains behind. However, Gretchen turns to addresses them. GRETCHEN On my honor as a sorority president I promise you, Pretty Young Money, your pretty looks will wane under the torrent of our blows, your youth will fade as the stress of us crushing you will age you decades, and your money will wane as you dole it to black market smugglers to hide you from the ass kicking you have so obviously earned! “YYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Afraid for dear life, Melissa runs away, forcing Phecda and Al Houd and Anastasia to go darting after her. COACH This is the lord's time of the year and now his favorite person has to be on the run from these twisted sorority sisters. RENEE If anyone is twisted its Melissa. And if Melissa's god's favorite person, I'm converting to Islam! FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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