Chanel #99 Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD We focus on Sofa Central which has been decorated Thanksgiving style! RENEE Gobble gobble- COACH Gobble dat dik! RENEE *** OAOAST Tag Team Champions Mr. Dick & Baron Windels vs. Keyboard Warriors *** In a non-title bout, the new OAOAST tag champs made short work of their Masked opponents. As a matter of fact, BW never even managed to get into the ring as MD took care of business for his team, picking up the W following a Jackhammer. Then again, R&C speculated that may have been by design as BW sported a soft cast on wrist rather than the brace he wore last week. Although they noted BW shot down rumors of a broken wrist. Winners: Mr. Dick & Baron Windels, via pinfall. Post-match OAOAST Hall of Famer Tony Brannigan spoke with the tag champions. MD hyped the Wildcard Survival match at November Reign and poked fun of the opposition, bringing up Ice Quiz ruffling the feathers of OAOAST World Champion Tyler Bryant last week. BRANNIGAN Many would argue it was Lorelei DeCenzo who did the ruffling, but be that as it may. . . Suddenly Tyler Bryant dropped in and playfully stared down Tony Brannigan. TYLER Well? BRANNIGAN Well what? This isn't your interview time. TYLER It wasn't your gig either until I pulled a few strings. Killed me to see how far your broadcast career has fallen. I mean reduced to interviewing Dem Bums? That even shook Brian Williams! Forced to restrain himself TB listened as Tyler went on to congratulate MD and BW on their W at the OAOAST Halloween Spectacular. TYLER To be perfectly honest, I wish you guys were on my November Reign team instead of Big IQ. Did you see how easily FLEX handled Ice Quiz last week? BRANNIGAN BW shakes his head. MISTER DICK And he's supposed to be the "hard" one. The other little guy-- Heh, he'd be crying for mommy! BW again shakes his head while MD and Tyler laugh it up. BRANNIGAN What is this, the mutual admiration society? TYLER Talent recognizes talent. But I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea. I may not be sure about a couple of guys on my team, but I am the OAOAST World Champion and I got FLEX on my side. That right there is enough to get the job done even if the other guys don't step up. MISTER DICK That's where you lost me, champ. We'll see about that at November Reign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 Courtesy of OAOAST SYN, the 3 Amigos successfully defended their newly won OAOAST 6-man tag titles against the sleazy trio of Rico de Janeiro, Remy Brazil & Pete-O, thanks to an assist from Dem Bums! Vinny Valentine prevented Rico from taking 6-man belt into the ring, ripping it away. RICO (to Vinny) Just what do you think you're doing, huh? As Rico gave Vinny the business, Tony Tourettes snuck up on Rico and dropped on all fours. Vinny shoved Rico who tumbled over Tony T! * SPLAT * Remy stuck his head thru the middle rope to scream at Dem Bums only to eat a ::beltshot:: courtesy of Vinny. With Remy out cold near the corner Chick hit the Sky is Falling for the 1-2-3. Back LIVE!, Dem Bums joined OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood at the interview lounge. Tony T explained the disc received last week didn't contain porn, which pissed him off. SARA JEAN Then what was on the disc? VINNY Something better. TONY T Fuck off with that fucking shit. Only thing better than porn is being the guy getting fucking laid! Vinny revealed the disc contained hidden camera footage of Rico de Janeiro and Remy Brazil meeting with Joey The Rat and VICE. VINNY A suitcase and handshakes were exchanged, then not too long later we're being beatdown by VICE. What does that say to you? SARA JEAN That Rico and Remy paid VICE to assault you. VINNY Exact-a-mundo. Now they're mad at us. Can you believe that? But hey, they're not the first and they won't be the last. So Sophie let us know we're booked for November Reign in a Survival match against Rico de Janeiro, Remy Brazil, Pete, VICE and Joey The Rat. No problem cuz we're not going in alone. Say hello to our new amigos. The OAOAST 6-man tag champions, the 3 Amigos, enter the picture. CHICK & JUICY Hello! MARIACHI ¡Hola! SARA JEAN I guess that makes you guys Dem Amigos! VINNY Hey, that's got a good ring to it. Nice going. Suddenly a production assistant hands Tony T a package. Inside is a FLESHLIGHT with a note that says "Coming Soon. Xoxo *hand drawn heart*" MARIACHI Ooh! The flaming luchador tries to cop a feel but is denied. TONY T Dirty. Freaky. Fucking. Whore. *kisses Fleshlight* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 ***Tim Cash Vs Coulter Doyle W/Flynn Stevens*** RENEE Tim Cash spent his Thanksgiving at the local soup kitchen helping the homeless. COACH While Coulter was studying tape preparing. RENEE Coulter? Studying? Just no. COULTER You think ya shit pilgrim step up to the Plymouth Rock! Cash schooled Coulter in the art of wrestling and had Coulter scrambling to the corner. RENEE Studied Petes vintage porn tapes maybe! Coulter went back to center of the ring to brawl and did a tiny bit better, but he had to make a big deal out of it. COULTER Fake ass nice guy, come see me! Tim Cash saw him alright saw him for a chump and outwrestled him en route to victory with the Midwest Sling! Winner: Tim Cash, via submission But after the match Timmy was choked out via dragon sleeper by Flynn! RENEE How awful! What reason does he have to do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 28, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2016 We're back in Melody's gaming center, which now has more empty Mountain Dew bottles than ever. Let's not forget the empty pizza boxes as well, although we can assume Jade ate most of the pizza. Front and center with her big beautiful bouncing breasts is Melody Nerdly along with her pimp daddy, Lucius Soul! MELODY We're back atcha again for another installment of Melody's vibe and dildo review....crap, this isn't adultdvdempire! I mean, an OAOAST 2k17 preview! Starring yours truly and her pimp daddy, pimp magic, Lucius Soul. SOUL Girl forget a dildo and vibe, I'ma make sure you get all the dick dem titties can handle! MELODY Ooooh, daddy, I think Christmas is cumming early! And snapchatting about cumming, we have the biggest load recipient in like wrestling history, Krista Isadora Duncan, so get ready to splooge some more cuz here she is! MELODY I came like three times watching all that. Daddy let's face did you knows, you and Krissy haven't always seen eye to boobs. Is it gonna be cool at November Reign? LUCIUS Make no mistake about it, Titty Mama, Krista and I have more in common than you know. We both love the Booty Mama and we love fucking up crackers, and all two both gonna be happening at November Reign and we ain't playing like fake studio rappers! MELODY Okay! I've got no segue so like here's Logan! MELODY Daddy anything you wanna say before you make a woman outta me? LUCIUS It's pimps up hoes down for November Reign, and true playas know which team is which. If you don't, you probably on the wrong team, sucka. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 28, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2016 “Moving On” by Asking Alexandria drives hard into the arena, an arena which is full of jeers for the arriving of the macabre misanthropes that make up The Menagerie. With Leon at the forefront, clad in a black leather ring pants and a frayed black jacket, the rest of the group soon follows him into the ring. RENEE These jerks almost ruined my Thnakgiving! But more important than that maybe is that they'll face a Survival Team Captained by Teddy Buckworth at November Reign two weeks away on the OAOAST Network! LEON Don't we have this conversation every year? The holidays roll around and I watch you scurry to spend time with your family. The father who was never satisfied with you, the mother who spent more time with a pill bottle than she did with you, the siblings who stole from you to feed their drug addiction. And oh yes your grand parents who are the reason your family is so fucked up to begin with. Instead of letting them stuff their face with turkey, do yourself a favor stuff them with a shotgun. RENEE He's terrible. LEON But you won't because you're cowards, you'll never stand up to the abusers in your life. Instead you'll try and abuse people like us. RENEE He's the victim? LEON You might have been able to do that to the old Leon, the old Menagerie, but I am The Devil Inside and my family sees you weaklings as a shooting gallery. You are ours to pick off. “BBBBBOOOOOOOOO!” LEON Buckworth and Colin... “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” LEON The sheep sing your praises, but sheep are weak and you need to watch out for the Wolfpack my vampire friends. You have yourselves and Colin's mother trying to make up for turning her daughter over to the monster to my right... REAGAN LEON And for leaving Colin to be raised by an emotionally abusive gangster. But I doubt Angel is on your survival team. I have my pack, my family. What about you? Sun's always falling Weightless and free Now when you close your eyesJust breathe, breathe with me As “Breathe” plays Leon gets an appearance he wasn't expecting with the arrival a three piece suit clad Teddy Buckworth, standing handsome and imposing at the same time. BUCKWORTH Leon, your concern while appreciated and kind is unnecessary, I have gathered old friends and family for this Thanksgiving tête-à-tête. I'm sure the many of you are familiar with them.... THE WORLD IS MINE! RENEE Oh my! As The World Is Mine hits and red lights splash about the entry the way the fans put forth an enormous cheer! And is all for Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire Jr.... RENEE The Moneygang! BUCKWORTH Lest you forget I do keep fashionable friends. Color me your color, baby Color me your car Color me your color, darling I know who you are Come up off your color chart I know where you're comin' from Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime Call me (call me) my love You can call me any day or night Call me Molly emerges first waving out her charges in classic silver and white attire, Nex Blanchard and Simon Singleton... RENEE The Beverly Hills Blonds! COACH The Enterprise is back! BUCKWORTH Menagerie, at November Reign money talks, bullshit walks. Teddy flashes the money fingers once more for old time sake to have Leon snarling with a fuming heat in the ring and the audience all around them buzzing with heat. RENEE Talk about awesome! COACH Yo, Ima party on Moneymaker dime at NR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 28, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2016 Inside the Thanksgiving feast room that has been setup for the OAOAST Stars, Sara Jean has caught up with Blaine Cayley and Krista Isadora Duncan with Queen Esther, who looks very out of place being the only non blond. SARA JEAN Hey, everybody, Sara Jean here with Blaine Cayley and Krista Isadora Duncan co-captains for November Reign, so I just wanna know on this Thanksgiving what are you thankful for? BLAINE What am I thankful for? Not my November Reign teammate Mister Dick, his partner Baron says we shouldn't quarrel among ourselves ahead of November Reign. Baron if I was quarreling with Jock, he'd be dead. But I am quarreling with Tyler Bryant and the time is ticking on everything, Ty-Bry. Your title reign, your run on top, your life, and I think the whole OAOAST Galaxy is thankful for that. SARA JEAN Krista, what are you thankful for? KRISTA I'm thankful that Alix will make a quick recovery from her shoulder injury, because she likes to jack off the strap on because she swears plastic has feelings as well, whatever. QUEEN ESTHER And it does, Krista. Our inanimate object friends do have feelings! KRISTA Jade's butt plug must love her. KRISTA Anyway speaking of Jade, I'm glad the black man who's pimping her isn't a guy I've spent years of my life sonning and humiliating and generally causing undue burials too. BLAINE Best we not say anything. SARA JEAN I agree. KRISTA I'm thankful for Baron and I am thankful one of my partners isn't one of my most hated enemies and who hasn't had sex with my mom before. QUEEN ESTHER Yes! Mister Duck is our friend indeed! I love canards as much you, Krista. KRISTA And I'm glad my long lost son has returned to me! I don't remember giving birth to you or why you have a gender swap duplicate around you most of the times, but that's okay. I also don't know who your father is, but that's cool, its very feminist not to give a fuck about a father's rights or who they are. So, yeah, so happy your back with mommy, sweetie! QUEEN ESTHER I have new fairy-god-greatchild! Huzzah! BLAINE Krista, I have bad news. I'm not your son. KRISTA Hhahahaha, he's a kidder just like the tall one! SARA JEAN Tall one? Oh you mean Maya? KRISTA Fat one, tall one, and now boy one. These are my kids! And of course you're my kid, you're just like me. You have long golden hair, you are totally cool with fucking your blood relatives, you've slapped around Spencer a few times, you trash talk people you don't like, you're athletic and you hate, hate, hate Tyler Bryant. BLAINE Well now, when you put in those terms...I can't wait to son The Serial Thriller with you mom. KRISTA Oh, honey, come give mommy a hug! SARA JEAN Sammi ain't gonna be happy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 28, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2016 ***Hotties Title Scramble Match: Sugar Bellflaire Vs Annagret Wickedborn Vs Ruby Vs Caeldori Fox Vs Holly Vs Malaysia Nerdly Vs December Belle Vs Wanda The Fat Zombie Vs Gretchen Wright (c)*** RENEE So this match is sort of like a Royal Rumble with pinfalls and submissions instead of over the top stuff and Jivin Jr and Morgan on commentary, and why do you let Jivin Jr follow you around what's the deal? MORGAN He just showed up one day begging me to let him hang around me, and after two months I let him hang around. I do anything for my fans. COACH Two months, my nigga? JIVIN JR By gawd I haven't seen this level of hotness since the great Sunny, and I haven't been this close to hotness since I bribed Chris Candido to let me snort an 8 ball with Sunny! BAH GAWD in heaven! RENEE And a little birdie tells me you have a big announcement, Morgan. MORGAN I may have been a little bit wrong to support the zombies over Delta House and I do feel bad. Honestly. And everyone knows a proper Survival team has 5 members and Delta only has four sisters, so I'm announcing I'm gonna help them out in the only valid Survival match we can do, a kill the captain match. COACH Yo~! A what? MORGAN If Clem dies, his zombie horde dies with him. I know these sorts of things having saved you all from one zombie horde already. RENEE You're putting your life on the line? MORGAN Hhahaha, don't be crazy, Renee, its Gretchen who's putting her life on the line. How noble of our Delta Delta Delta president! RENEE You're sick! JIVIN JR GAWD SAVE OUR OAOAST SOULS! As it just so happens first out was Gretchen who didn't know about this craziness from Morgan, but didn't like Morgan being present. She had to contend with an arriving Sugar Belleflair who had all kinds of beef, namely she couldn't get her robe off. Gretchen offered to help, but Sugar took that as an insult. And Sugar was still having trouble when December Belle arrived. DECEMBER How many times do I have to help you get undressed? Stand still. Just like old times, December helped her cousin in need. But then got dropkicked! JIVIN JR Where's the class, Paul? Where's the humanity, King? COACH The hell are you talking to? Gretchen fought Sugar, then December came back and slapped around her cousin until they both decided to pants her! SUGAR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Embarassed, Sugar dove under the ring and hid, leaving Gretchen and December to have a friendly but fierce chain wrestling affair. That is all interrupted by the arrival of Malaysia Nerdly and her twink, Archie. MORGAN Look who it is, steroid Morgan and anorexic Jivin Jr. JIVIN JR Look at that little bozo, Morgan, he's wearing his mom's best dress! RENEE You guys have to wait in line to beef with Malaysia and Archie, The Midnight Foxes have dibs on that feud. Malaysia cleaned house, which was also the wrong time for Sugar to reenter the ring. Sugar realized that and went back under, so Malaysia got excited and chased after the hard to get Hottie. Sugar wound up using Archie as a shield, but Malaysia didn't care about hurting Archie and just punched them both! MORGAN Smack My Bitch up is my favorite song too. After all these shenanigans came Annagret who obviously proved much tougher than Suagr for Malaysia to handle. Malaysia called on Archie to give her her whip to handle Annagret, but Archie was unresponsive. MORGAN If you hit someone in the face you knock them out? That's a shocking discovery, isn't it. Annagret had her way with Malaysia, which as Malaysia is neither Maya nor a black man, was mostly nonsexual. December and Sugar brawled on the outside, while Gretchen recovered. But she was ready for a fight when Fat Wanda The Zombie came waddling into town! MORGAN I could help with some bolts, but I won't. Gretchen and Wanda fought up the ramp to the stage, where they were at each other's throats! Such violence carried them off the stage and through a table!!! A TABLE! MORGAN Oh no, how bad. RENNE Yes it's more than bad! Someone help Gretchen! The other Delta girls are out with Gretchen and medical staff, and they all look her over. While Gretchen is fine, she is not fine enough to continue on and defend her title. GRETCHEN Poor Gretchen! MORGAN One monkey doesn't stop the show let's continue. JIVIN JR On point like a throw from Dak Prescott! Ruby and Caeldori entered next as in the both of them at the same time which isn't how this works, but Cornette refused to have one leave! So Holly said fuck it and came running down to attack the Foxes! COACH These chicks are almost as bad as you, Morgan. MORGAN I've never done anything wrong RENEE Well with everyone out, we can fight to the finish to find a new Hotties Champ! Malaysia aided Holly in the fight against the foxes but then Sugar descended on top with a plancha! Only to get caught by Holly and her partner! But then Annagret used a somersault plancha to take everyone out! “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAA!” Annagret rolled Ruby into the ring and tried to pin her but was halted by Holly! Annagret's fellow Sunray December helped Annagret but meanwhile Ruby cast a spell that had Annagret doing the cabbage patch JIVIN JR She's crazier than a pet coon! Sugar came back and blamed December for her troubles as always and tried to figure four her! December would escape and lariated little cuz over the top right onto Caeldori! Cornette didn't like this and started bitching to anyone who would listen but got rocked by Holly! RENEE Holly is never gonna not hate Cornette. HOLLY (to Archie) Face sit him. ARCHIE Me? HOLLY Yeah you fag! And Archie face sat Cornette! Ewwwwww! But if Alfdogg was here, he'd beat that meat. MORGAN Gretchen would love that but oh wait she's injured and gonna lose her belt Ruby sought revenge by a casting a spell but was interrupted by choke slam from Malyasia! RENEE I think the queens of femdom won this round for sure! Holly came to dap up Malysia but they were both pounced on by the Sunrays! The fans cheered as Annagret hit wicked whisper on Malyasia and December pounded her with a people's elbow! JIVIN JR Do you smell it?! Do you smell it?! Bah gawd I smell it! Sugar yanked out Holly and raked her eyes, fitting for the dirtiest Hottie in the game. Sadly when she climbed onto the ring apron, the Sunrays booted her off! With everyone else taken care of the Sunrays decided to settle the Hotties championship between themselves. COACH Oh man I'm hard. MORGAN Jim will handle that. JIVIN JR Awww hell yeah! COACH Hell no! Annagret tried a big boot but December hit a boot of her own for two! Annagret got up and ducked a lariat to hit a Wicked Whisper but shockingly only got a two! COACH Dayum! RENEE December kicked out! Oh my! Annagret tried for a second Wicked Wisper but December rolled them both through and hit a spinebuster! From there December went for a people's elbow but Annagret kipped up and hit Wicked Whisper to win her second Hotties title! Winner: Annagret Wickedborn, via pinfall. New champion! Hooray! Annagret was happy to win the belt but showed much love to December post match! FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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