Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD The bombastic noise that is Party Like A Rockstar joins the state of the art introductory video. Intertwined between the character specific locale's and close ups is footage of last week's opening confrontation between Landon Maddix and Zack Malibu. After the video concludes and the song comes to an end the logo is shown...FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, and The OAOAST it is time for HeldDOWN! The focus immediately shifts to the announce team of Micahel Cole and Johnathan Coachman. Sitting behind the announce desk, each man is dressed in gaudy orange polo shirts, and neatly pressed khaki pants. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, it is Thursday night and you know what that means... COACH Time for my court appointed anger management sessions? COLE No, that's Tuesday. It's time for sports entertainment's highest rated television program, OAOAST HeldDOWN! Tonight's show comes from Alabama, and we are jam packed with southern fried goodness. Zack Malibu makes his first world title defense against Mister Boricua of the Lightening Crew, the 24/7 title is up for grabs, and Logan Mann battles Rico De Janeiro! But right now..Je t'adore, je t'adore... The arena goes dark and pink lights light up the entryway as Girls, Girls, Girls plays and Felix Strutter walks out. COLE And here comes the Heartland champion, Felix Strutter, in his first appearance on HeldDOWN~! since capturing the belt from Thunderkid a little over a month ago! Strutter is accompanied by two lovely OAOAST ringrats attendants, one in each arm, as he walks down the aisle. The ladies get up on the apron and hold the ropes for him. COLE And this past Saturday on the WDW pay-per-view, Triumph, Strutter successfully defended that title in a rematch, with a little help from his friends. Strutter grabs a mic. STRUTTER Did you people miss me? *crowd boos* STRUTTER I thought so. Strutter starts to talk again, but is interrupted by the chants of "FE-LIX SUCKS" "FE-LIX SUCKS!" "FE-LIX SUCKS!" "FE-LIX SUCKS!" STRUTTER I do NOT suck! That is a LIE! The chant continues. STRUTTER You people are a bunch of LIARS! You're worse than Nick Saban! *crowd boos* STRUTTER Especially those of you who were smart enough to order WDW Triumph this past Saturday! I most certainly did NOT suck that night! The crowd chants switch to "THUN-DER-KID!" "THUN-DER-KID!" "THUN-DER-KID!" "THUN-DER-KID!" STRUTTER That's right, it was THUNDERKID who sucked that night! COLE Oh, come on, that was a great match! STRUTTER It's OK...I may be a WDW wrestler now, but *points to belt* as you can see, I am still YOUR Heartland champion! And there's nothing you can do about it!Medal hits, and the crowd goes wild as Anglesault makes his way to the stage area. COACH Here comes the boss! Anglesault is holding a mic. ANGLESAULT I have to say, congratulations, Felix. That was quite a show you put on Saturday night! STRUTTER (pulls his girls in close) That's what they said! The girls giggle as Felix acts proud of his innuendo. ANGLESAULT Very good, but I'm not out here to joke around. There's actually plenty I can do about that title you're wearing Felix...including make you defend it right here next week on HeldDOWN~! *crowd cheers* COLE All right! ANGLESAULT Right here, next week... STRUTTER Hold it, hold on a second. I have a GREAT idea. I know you're all about these people in the crowd... *crowd cheers* STRUTTER And seeing as this is the home state of former President, Bill Clinton... *crowd boos* COLE Um, that would be Arkansas, actually... COACH Oh, cut the guy a break, he's Canadian! STRUTTER I thought we could let the people vote on this. Who wants to see yours truly, "After Hours" Felix Strutter, defend the OAOAST Heartland title next week on HeldDOWN~!? *crowd erupts* STRUTTER And now, the only vote that REALLY matters...I vote "nay." *crowd boos* ANGLESAULT *pausing* Actually, Felix, your vote is not relevant in this case. You see, you are the OAOAST Heartland champion, which means you will defend the belt on the OAOAST's terms. And MY terms, are that you will defend that title right here, next week! *crowd cheers, then cheers louder as they spot Thunderkid having appeared behind Strutter in the ring!* ANGLESAULT And what I'd like for you to do now, is turn around, and meet your opponent! Strutter turns around, and is floored by a big right hand from TK! COLE OH MY! TK slugs away at Strutter on the mat, as the crowd goes wild! COACH A rematch from Saturday night, right here on HeldDOWN~! next week? COLE You betcha! TK whips Strutter into the ropes, and Strutter hooks them and slides out, to the boos of the crowd. Strutter backs up the aisle, looking with a shocked look into the ring at a smiling TK. COLE Right here next week, Felix Strutter will defend the Heartland title against Thunderkid! What a bombshell here on HeldDOWN~! Folks we'll return with in ring action after these messages!COMING UP NEXTHell hath no fury like a Mann scornedRico Vs Logan MannNEXTCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 And now, the OAOAST NOGGIN KNOCKER OF THE WEEK! Last WeekForearm shivers and kicks to the legs and body rattle the 6’7” Texan, who is then fired into the buckle. But he gets the BOOT up as Lucius charges in, sending him staggering out of the corner and in perfect position for a BULLDOG!! COLE Bulldog! He got him with the bulldog! We’re gonna have new champions! Desperate times call for desperate measures, and sensing their tag titles are in trouble Rico reaches into his bag of sleazy tricks, grabbing one of the tag belts from the timekeeper’s table. With Melody occupied with the welfare of Jock, Rico has a clear shot at Baron. He slithers inside the ring like the snake in the grass that he is… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ONE… TWO… THR-- …and is WALLOPED between the eyes by a LOGAN MANN RUNNING AXEHANDLE SMASH!!! * DINGDINGDING * Logan mounts on top of Rico just as he did Sunday night at hammers away. COACH I told you, Cole. This guy is an egomaniac. What business does he have out here? COLE Protecting a friend. COACH And I think he just cost them the tag titles again. With friends like that... The arena falls in a hush silence as Baron yanks Logan off of Rico and gives him a mouthful. Logan doesn’t even bother to explain himself and walks away, but Baron brings him back face to face which doesn‘t go over well with Mann. Tensions really rise as the two butt heads. COLE What in the world is going on? These guys are ready to tear at each other’s throats. Meanwhile, Melody reassumes her role as peacemaker but neither side wants to hear of her “make love, not war” garbage, even though that’s more of a COD thing but she doesn’t want to see friends fight. “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd reacts as HOLLY-WOOD and SYNTH make their way to the ring. But Synth isn’t there to defuse the situation, he tries to ignite it, shoving Baron who retaliates in kind. Lost in the mayhem is Jock Mulligan. At least EMTs are there checking on him. OAOAST officials soon follow. They assist Jock and get between the Heavenly Rockers and Baron. Melody can be heard apologizing to Holly and asking if they’re still friends. Holly just wants to calm her man. COLE An explosive situation to say the least! COLE Indeed it was one week ago tonight. Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen. Up next, a pre-recorded interview conducted earlier in the day by Jonathan Coachman with the Lone Star Gunslingers. But we’d first like to revisit the situation that occurred this past weekend on our nationally syndicated television program. Following last Thursday’s events OAOAST matchmakers immediately booked Rico de Janeiro and Logan Usher Mann in a singles match and yet another chapter was written in the on-going saga between the Heavenly Rockers and Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Let’s view that in its entirety. * SWOOSH *Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated SCHIAVONE About set to go with our main event this week on OAOAST Pro Wrestling, or so we believe. Rico de Janeiro, shall we say…a bit hesitant to step inside, Jesse Ventura. VENTURA I would too against a mad man like Logan Mann. He’s gone off the deep end, Schiavone. The guy ought to be placed in a psyche ward. He shouldn’t be allowed to compete in his current mental state. It’s not an athletic competition to him anymore, he wants to cripple and maim Rico! Fed up with Rico’s stall tactics Logan chases after the King of the Mardi Gras. Rico sprints around the squared circle and rolls inside, only to exit again and right in front of Holly-Wood. As Logan approaches he decides to shield himself behind Holly who is held against her will. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Logan channels his inner Randy Savage, swinging over the top rope and down to the floor, and then holds onto the top of his leather pants as he POINTS THE FINGER at the man with the porno mustache. SCHIAVONE Would you look at this? Logan’s own wife is being used as a human shield by that sleaze ball. VENTURA I suppose Rico’s line of thinking is, if it worked for Teddy Moneymaker it’ll work for me too. The only problem with that is Holly isn’t your typical damsel in distress. The Angel of Death proves Jesse correct. She stomps Rico’s foot and SLAPS the taste out of his mouth! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Floored by a running elbow square between the eyes Rico is then whipped into the guardrail, and tumbles into the crowd following a back elbow! Logan asks the fans to steer clear as he pulls the railing further out towards ringside and ascends to the top. DOUBLE AXE HANDLE SMASH! VENTURA Aw, look at this illegal double-team, Schiavone. SCHIAVONE I beg your pardon? VENTURA A slap changed the course of the match. So tell me, how come Holly is allowed out here but “Sweet” Lucius Soul isn’t? SCHIAVONE Because she has a valid manager’s license, Jesse. VENTURA Oh, come on. When’s the last time anybody’s checked the registry? My old manager, the late great “Classy” Freddy Blassie is probably still listed as active despite being retired and dead. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” The crowd reacts appropriately as “SWEET” LUCIUS SOUL wanders ringside brandishing a LAMINATED CARD. LOGAN SCHIAVONE I couldn’t have said it better myself. Lucius summons referee Earl Hebner and flashes his badge, so to speak. Our fine cameraman eavesdrops on the two and zooms in on the card that reads: “TEMPORARY MANAGER’S LICENSE -- LUCIUS SOUL.” VENTURA Genius! SCHIAVONE I beg to differ. In fact, I bet he got that on the Black Market. Logan dumps Rico over the railing and suplexes him back inside. ONE… KICKOUT! Irish whip to the buckle, and Rico is back dropped in the center of the ring. Now on the top rope Logan spreads his “wings” and flies, spiking both knees onto the chest of Rico de Janeiro! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” Lucius yanks Rico outside and the ire of the referee. Just as Earl Hebner is about to call for the bell Logan DIVES THROUGH THE ROPES AND WIPES OUT THE MGHWC!! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Logan concentrates his attack on Lucius, hammering him with sharp left jabs and a mighty right hand. But it gives Rico all the time he needs to regroup and Logan is leveled by a clothesline. Holly struggles to remain poised as Rico removes one of the protective pads ringside and delivers a GUTWRENCH SUPLEX ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR! VENTURA It looks to me Rico wants to target the ribs he and Lucius went after at School’s Out. If you remember -- and you probably don’t since you never what to give the Home Wrecking Crew any credit -- it wasn’t until they stopped focusing on the ribs that they began to lose control of the match. Holly defies Earl Hebener’s request to stay put in order to check on the welfare of her husband, but the senior official meant what he said and cuts her off at the path, leaving the Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew all to themselves with Logan Mann. SCHIAVONE That isn’t right at all. It’s 2 on 1 here. Holly just wanted to comfort her husband. VENTURA Yeah, and slip him a foreign object. You can’t trust a woman nicknamed the “Angel of Death.” Logan is rolled in and covered. Holly goes ballistic as Rico places his feet on the ropes for added leverage. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! In a rare show of emotion Holly pumps her fist. The action continues inside with an Irish whip and power body slam from Rico. The King of the Mardi Gras pops to his feet and drops the big leg across Mann’s chest and keeps it there for the pin. VENTURA My new favorite move in all of wrestling, the Porno 'Stache Leg drop. SCHIAVONE That lackadaisical cover isn’t going to get it done. ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Logan gets the shoulder up. He’s whipped hard into the corner and almost straight out, but Rico charges forward and drives Logan back into the turnbuckles. Mann is turned around and punished with shoulder thrusts and forearm shots to the ribs. Rico sets him on the top rope for a back superplex but Logan lands an elbow to the temple, sending de Janeiro flying down to the mat! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” The crowd senses a second win and rally behind Logan, who flies off the top...and right into the arms of Rico de Janeiro! Rico smashes Logan ribs-first into the near and far corners before placing him mid-ring in a BEAR HUG! * cricket, cricket * VENTURA You can hear a pin drop Tony. Rico just silenced 10,000 strong in the arena. Ha! SCHIAVONE One has to wonder just how much longer Logan can go given the damage done to his ribs. Logan’s eyelids begin to droop as Rico squeezes and squeezes. Earl Hebner raises Mann’s arm and it drops. ONE! He checks again. Same result. TWO! One more time and it’s over. THREE-- NO!! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” SCHIAVONE Oh, yeah! Logan’s still very much alive. “LOGAN!” “LOGAN!” “LOGAN!” A series of left hands rock Rico but Logan is still unable to break the bear hug, so he BITES Rico on the bridge of his nose and that gets the job done! VENTURA (sarcastically) I’m glad to see the rules are still enforced, Schiavone. Logan bites Rico right in front of the referee and the guy just stands there. Wonderful. Rico shakes it off and lunges at Logan, who blocks a clothesline attempt and counters with a FLOAT OVER DDT!! SCHIAVONE Percussion! All Logan has to do now is cover Rico and it’s over. But Logan isn’t capable of making the cover because he landed hard on his ribs. With both men down the referee begins to administer the mandatory 10 count. ONE… TWO… THREE… Logan begins to stir, followed by Rico. FOUR… FIVE… SIX… Both are halfway up when Rico falls to his knees. SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… Lucius jumps on the apron to disrupt the count as Rico struggles to return to his feet. Logan grabs Soul by the collar and cocks his fist. Everyone wants to see Lucius get his except the referee. Hebner gets between both men in hopes of separating them, but Logan has a death grip on Soul and refuses to let go. Not only does Lucius fear for his safety but his partner’s as well, so he digs into his pant pocket and tosses BRASS KNUCKLES to Rico. SCHIAVONE The Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew are like a cat with 9 lives, Jesse. Don’t tell me they’re going to eek another one out. This match should be over already. There is no way Rico was going to meet the 10 count. VENTURA The Big Easy isn’t an easy place to operate sometimes. You always gotta have protection in hand. Rico has a surprise for Logan and Holly has a surprise for Rico. The Angel of Death sneaks up on Rico after removing the STEEL CHAIN tied from her pocket to belt buckle and wrapping it around her fist. VENTURA Seeing all this, it’s pretty obvious cheating runs in the family. You got Soul trying to protect his buddy, and then you got Holly trying to cheat for her old man. SCHIAVONE Well, you said it yourself, Jesse -- you always gotta have protection. VENTURA That’s it. After the program it’s you and me, one on one, Schiavone. I told you many-a times about quoting me and you haven‘t listened. 3 strikes and you‘re out. How’s that for continuity? Hilarity ensues as Rico taps Logan on the shoulder as Holly taps him on his. Then tragedy strikes. Both men turn around simultaneously… RICO …but Rico ducks and Holly’s right cross drills Logan flush on the jaw! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” HOLLY SCHIAVONE My goodness, Holly accidentally K.O.’d her own husband! VENTURA The hell she did. She stood by her man and her man is Rico de Janeiro! SCHIAVONE No, he isn’t. It was an accident and you know it. Rico KISSES Holly and shoves her to the ground, then covers Logan. Lucius ends his frivolous argument, because the ref wasn’t standing around watching as all this went down, and the count is made. SCHIAVONE No. No. No! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match… RICO DE JANEIRO! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Lucius raises Rico’s hand in triumph, all while standing over the body of Logan Mann. Earl Hebner escorts them to the corner so that Holly can to tend to Logan. SCHIAVONE Jesse Ventura is on his way to the ring to interview the winner. But I still can’t believe what just transpired moments ago, as Holly-Wood accidentally knocked out Logan. :: Cue Replay :: As the replay will show, she tried to help her husband but it backfired in a costly way. :: End Replay:: I’m being told Jesse has made it ringside. Let’s go to him right now. The Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew greet Jesse with a smile and handshake as they climb down the steel steps and set foot on the arena floor. VENTURA Rico de Janeiro, congratulations on a helluva victory. RICO Body, the King of the Mardi Gras, he took everything that punk Logan Mann dished at him. Every trick in the book and he still couldn’t get the job done, mang. It just goes to show never underestimate the heart of a champion. VENTURA Absolutely. There are guys who wouldn’t have survived half of what you had to go through to win the match, Logan Mann being one of them. RICO As much as I’d love to take full credit for my performance, I had some help. Holly-Wood, I can’t thank you enough. She proved beyond a shadow of a doubt she wants to be liberated and lubricated by the King of the Mardi Gras. VENTURA Don’t I know it. She wants you and she wants you bad, Rico. You can see it in her eyes. RICO Logan Mann, you countin’ sleep right now, but when you come to remember one thing, chico…don’t hate me because I’m simply irresistible. LUCIUS And a champion, foo. The HI-YAH tag team champions are prepared to head backstage when HOLLY FLIES OFF THE TOP AND ONTO THEM BELOW! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” She clubs Rico in the back of the head until Lucius yanks her off. Rico dusts himself off and confronts Holly. RICO You want to embarrass me? Chica, all I got to ask is, "Who wants a moustache ride?" SCHIAVONE Oh, no! He wouldn’t dare! Even Jesse thinks Rico is about to go overboard, begging him not to go through with the Moustache Ride. “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd EXPLODES as SYNTH rushes towards the area and cleans house on the Home Wrecking Crew. Already satisfied with their work Rico and Lucius live to fight another day. * SWOOSH * As previously mentioned, we cut to the pre-taped interview with the Lone Star Gunslingers in the locker room. COACH Well, fellas, the fans at home have just finished re-watching the Rico de Janeiro-Logan Mann match from this past weekend and prior to that your encounter with the Heavenly Rockers last week. Now, my question to you is one that is on the minds of fans worldwide and that’s what is up with you and the Heavenly Rockers? It was only a few weeks ago that you guys were the best of friends. MELODY But we are still friends. I mean, tempers flare during the heat of the moment. Baron may have overreacted… BARON Hold on there Melody. I didn’t overreact to nothin’. You wanna know what this is about, Coachman? Jealousy. Jock and I have been catchin’ on like wildfire and the Heavenly Rockers are startin’ to worry about their place in the hearts of fans around the world. We’re at a level in the ring they have yet to reach in 3-plus years in the OAOAST. All they have to fall back on is the OAOAST tag team championship they won, so they’re willing to undercut us to secure their current place in history. JOCK You know, the first time Logan cost us the HI-YAH tag title he said he was just watching our backs. We took his word for it at the time because it never crossed our minds a man as rich and famous as him would feel threaten by a couple of kids looking to make it big in the toughest sport of them all. To quote a phrase, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” You ain’t foolin’ anyone now, Heavenly Rockers. Baron and I have worked too long and hard to fall short of our goal of winning the tag team championship. So if we can’t get along, we’ll get it on. Let’s go. Melody chases after the Gunslingers as they ride off into the sunset. MELODY Guys, come on. Let’s not talk like that. They’re our friends! COACH Melody seems to think the Gunslingers and Heavenly Rockers can salvage their friendship. I say she’s all T & A and no brains. COLE I don't agree with that assessment at all, Coach. Regardless of your ignorant opinions we will return with Melody's little sister Maggie interviewing Theodore Moneymaker.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 OAOAST HeldDOWNis brought to you by...Tivo-My Tivo never let's me miss HeldDOWN~!Western Union-Fast. Reliable. Worldwide.And By...Miss Spezia's Cheating Woman Cookies-The rent is two months overdue and the landlord just smiles and winks at you. God damn that cheating woman. When the show officially returns the view is transported backstage into the OAOAST interview zone, which is basically a wall of monitors displaying various OAOAST superstars in action, and multi colored spotlights streaming from their top. Within the interview area stands Maggie Nerdly, outfitted in a delightfully retro , black white and red polka dot dress. Completing the cute-goth attire is a black and white checkered head wrap. She's joined by the always malicious, yet still stylish Theodore Moneymaker. He cuts an imposing figure of monetary power in a eight hundred dollar tan seersucker suit and plain grey tie. MAGGIE What's up everyone? Maggie Nerdly, your it girl on the scene, giving you that heat, live on OAOAST television. I fell like real lucky girl because for the first time ever, the dark lord himself, Satan, has agreed to be interviewed on live T-Vision. Your darkly highness? MONEYMAKER (sarcastically) You are as witty as you are intelligent, Miss Margaret Nerdly. MAGGIE Yeah, I try. Now last week Shayne Brave got severely jacked up by Christopher Patrick Allen in one of the worst beatings this company has ever seen. His faced looked like it could've been served with a side of macaroni salad. What do you have to say for an injury you and Jade Rodez are completely responsible for? MONEYMAKER Completely responsible for? I love you Nerdly girls, you have no class, no brains, and wear even less clothes! BWAHAHAH! What an absurd suggestion, propagated by a bias liberal media. Shayne Brave is completely responsible for Shayne Brave's condition. I didn't force him to eat sixteen unprotected left hooks to the jaw. Jade did not force him to stand in place while every bone in his face is broken by haymakers. By repeatedly meddling with Enterprise dealings, he chose his downfall all on his own. Now he pays the price for his folly. Neither I nor Jade Rodez nor The Enterprise bear any guilt or shame over Shayne's beating. And that is the last time I will ever speak of that middle class teenyboppin buffoon! MAGGIE Too bad that won't be the last time you'll ever speak period. Alright then, I'm told you're gonna drop the name of Ally and Krissy's tag title challengers for next week's show. So out with it, man. MONEYMAKER Though I'd hate to trumpet my many virtues, it is only a two hour show after all, I have to say my finest quality above all else is my deep rooted and long standing appreciation for this fine art of professional wrestling. MAGGIE Great. And the tag title challengers would be? MONEYMAKER (ignoring Maggie) While many have deemed it a redneck sport, suited only for the basest of minds, I have looked past the mouth breathing, bottom feeding cavemen so many of you seem to be, and I have seen the gentle beauty of the sport of kings. As a young boy, I often found myself glued to the television after a hard day of polo or horse riding or yachting, watching the exploits of superstars I could be proud of. Warriors like The Dynamite Kid, Jimmy Super Fly Snuka, and Jake Roberts. MAGGIE (annoyed) And would any of them be the tag title challengers? MONEYMAKER (ignoring Mags) These men were upstanding citizens with impeccable moral fiber and first class attitudes. Quite unlike the filthy lezzies who shame not only the oaoast, but the nation as a whole by holding the tag team titles. Time and time again have I laid out masterful weaponry in order to defeat the monster of lesbianism. Each time the dyke demon beats back my efforts, and digs it's heels deeper into American soil. The tentacles of the lesbian monster reach near and far, turning dirty dykes into role models for our youth, and signaling the death kneel of a doomed America! It's grown so strong, so brazen, that Krista and her half breed sex-partner Alix.... MAGGIE (disgusted)Half breed? MONEYMAKER (cont) Have attempted to use their lesbian witchcraft to infiltrate and pervert the mind of sweet, innocent, and fully heterosexual, Mackenzie DeCenzo. MAGGIE Boo-hoo! Excuse me while I hunt for the world's smallest violin. Our eighteen year old interviewer uses the search for the world's smallest violin to escape the world's biggest bigot, disappearing off stage. Moneymaker doesn't seem to notice Maggie's exit, as he picks up the microphone and continues his rambling. MONEYMAKER Perhaps if I lived in simpler, better times, I'd be able to round up a party of like minded men, tie these devil women to the stake, and let the flames of the lord burn the demons from our country. Yet, I can not. I have to place my faith in others. And what happens? I'm constantly let down. Why is that? Because of the men I have selected for the task! A Samoan, a race so insignificant their biggest name is a man who played the faggot in a Vince Vaughn movie, a Canadian, a country with the sorest assholes on the earth from all the political fence riding they do, and two Germans who look like they probably clean Michael Cole's pool on the weekend! BWAHAHHA! Moneymaker takes a second to compose himself after his oh-so hilarious comment. MONEYMAKER What I...no what this country needs are men of honor. Men of morality who possess unrivaled athletic prowess. Unfortunately I will not find those men in today's oaoast tag scene because it is littered with sideshow freaks, drunks, druggies, homos, faggot enablers, Jews, ethnic minorities, and mentally handicapped mongs. Because of that I have to go back through the pages of the OAOAST history book to find the one tag team that has upheld the cultural, political, and religious values of this great land, while also maintaining undeniable athletic talent. That is why, through careful business dealings, shady go betweens and tense negations, I am able to inform you that next week's challengers for Chicks Over Dicks tag team titles will be two time OAOAST tag team champions, and sports entertainment legends, Spider Poet and EL Dandy, Los Infernales. BWAHAHAAH! The arena audience reacts with utter shock to the billion dollar heir's announcement. Their gasps of surprise bring a sharp grin to the chiseled face of Mister Moneymaker. MONEYMAKER But onto other topics. I have been deluged with hatemail by the very vocal, but very wrong, liberal minority, asking me to “back off†Krista and Alix. They plead with me to stop being so hard on them. They say it's none of my business who they sleep with. Wrong. It's all of my business. For one thing they've attempted to use their carpet munching trickery to lure Mackenzie into their stable of inequity! And for another thing, the lord, my guiding Shepard, has told me that it is my business. God has made them dykes so that he may destroy them. They are a vessel of his wrath. I am simply the chosen executioner sent to carry out the final judgment. Some may wish to save them, so may wish to convert them, I just really want to destroy them and everyone like them. BWAHHHA! As Moneymaker continues his frighteningly insane laughter the scene fades into commercialCOMMERCIALBIFF ATLAS MATCH? MAYBE?The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling.Yankee Doodle Dandy plays, as an outdoor setting is shown. (voiceover) Summer is upon us... Cut to a wideshot of a teen-aged boy doing a cannonball off the diving board at a public pool.Which means the month of our Independence isn't far behind. Cut to a family sitting at a picnic table in their backyard, laughing, then to Alf delivering the Five-Star Alf Splash to Chris Stevens.And that means, the cookouts... Cut to a man turning a hot dog on the grill, then to Felix Strutter drilling Thunderkid with the Thunder Bay Throttle.The apple pie... Cut to a woman setting a pie on the table, then to Jumbo flattening a jobber with the XL splash.And don't forget... Cut to a child eating a large piece of watermelon. (yeah i no what ur thinking u racist)The American Pasttime. Cut to a group of kids playing wiffleball, then the screen quickly goes dark....yeah, right. Cut to Jamie O'Hara cracking Vinny Valentine with a bat, followed by several clips of violent acts by WDW superstars.On July 14, your real American Pasttime comes to Pay-Per-View. The montage ends with a smiling Alf standing on the second rope, holding his belt, then the screen fading to black.World Domination Wrestling presents Declaration of Invalescence! LIVE, July 14, only on pay-per-view! Cut to Axel in a stylish suit, in a black background. AXEL WE can NOT tell a lie.Commercials "LIGHTNING CREW!" The opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts up as the crowd stands up and boos. The AngleTron shows a picture of Cuban Wall posing in front of a Cuban flag with CUBAN WALL written to the right side of the screen in big white blocky letters. Strobe lights appear on the entrance set, while smoke fills the entrance stage. The crescendo hits, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* A few seconds later, the entrance doors slide open, and Cuban Wall comes out to loud boos. Wall has the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. Cuban Wall looks at the crowd and pumps his right fist into the air, then proceeds to walk to the ring, his eyes focused soley on it, with a serious expression on his face. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Championship! Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 lbs. He is the Muscle for The Lightning Crew, AND is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion. CUBANNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit, and then enters the ring over the top rope. COLE Cuban Wall defending his title once again, this time on HeldDOWN~!. COACH Cuban Wall has been a damn good Champion thus far, and his reign has only lasted two months! Imagine what he can do the longer his reign goes! COLE Well, it could end tonight if Spanish Fly beats him! COACH HA! Like that will happen? No, I smell another successful title defense for the Wall tonight! COLE Speaking of smell, when's the last time you took a bath? Geeze! COACH I'm a cologne man, myself. Cuban Wall stands in the middle of the ring and does The Lightning Crew Salute, and then raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his head. Wall then jaws with the fans as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. Wall heads to a second turnbuckle, and raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt with his right hand in the air, then gets off the second turnbuckle and shadow boxes while waiting for his opponent as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Cuban Wall hands the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over to referee Mickey Jay, who raises it over his head to let everyone know that it's a title match. He then hands the belt over to a ringside attendant. COLE Alot of history between these two. Lightning Crew members are about to go at it one-on-one for the 24/7 Title! COACH And like always, big will beat little! Crush him, even! The lights go down in the arena. Two spotlights shine on the entrance. After five seconds... *KA-BOOM~!* Spanish Fly shoots out from underneath the entrance stage with pyro right behind him. Spanish Fly raises his right fist in the air causing the crowd to cheer. "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi starts playing as Spanish Fly points to both sides of the arena and then walks to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his opponent. The challenger. Originally from Tijuana, Mexico but now residing in San Diego, California. Weighing in at 175 lbs. He is a former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion. SPANISHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! COLE Spanish Fly debuted in the OAOAST back in December of 2003 as a member of The Lightning Crew. He was kicked out of The LC back in June of 2004, but has had some success since then, including a short reign as one-half of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions with Colombian Heat. But he has yet to win a singles title. That might change tonight! COACH Well, it's time for the little man to be brought back to reality. COLE Haven't people told enough short jokes in the three years he's been here? COACH Cole, LOOK at him! He's a walking target for jokes. You just gotta accept that. Spanish Fly enters the ring and gets on a second turnbuckle raising his hands in the air to cheers. Spanish Fly gets off the turnbuckle and gets on another second turnbuckle, raising his hands in the air recieving another pop from the crowd. Cuban Wall stares at him with nothing but evil intentions on his mind. COLE I would think his talent would stop all the short jokes. COACH Nah. They just bring more attention to his shortness, which equals more jokes. It's not rocket science, Michael! Fly gets off the turnbuckle and looks at Cuban Wall. Fly looks a little worried. Wall stares down Spanish Fly. Mickey Jay pats down Wall, and then pats down Fly. He goes over the rules with them, and then calls for the bell. The lights go back in the arena and "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi dies down. *DING DING DING*OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP CUBAN WALL (Champion) vs. SPANISH FLY (Challenger) Cuban Wall goes for a clothesline, but Spanish Fly ducks, and attacks! Forearm shot after forearm shot rocks the big man! COLE And Spanish Fly starting this match on top! Fly grabs Wall's right arm and whips him into the ropes. He follows with a front dropkick! This causes Cuban Wall to fall through the ropes and onto the floor! COLE And Cuban Wall has just been taken out of the ring by Spanish Fly! COACH Don't let him psych you out, Wall! Remember, you're BIGGER than he is! Cuban Wall is standing on the outside. He is taking a breather. Suddenly, Spanish Fly charges forward, leaps onto the top turnbuckle, and then flies off, hitting Cuban Wall with a crossbody block on the outside! COLE And Spanish Fly with a big time move! COACH Oh no! Spanish Fly and Cuban Wall are down on the ground. The crowd is cheering loudly. Fly is already breathing hard. Spanish Fly gets up. COACH Cuban Wall is down! WHY? COLE Spanish Fly is using his speed to his advantage to win his first singles title in the OAOAST! Spanish Fly picks Cuban Wall up and throws him back into the ring. Fly follows. He stomps on Cuban Wall, and then does a standing moonsault onto him! The cover! 1... 2... KICK OUT! Spanish Fly remains on top of CW and starts punching him in the face. Spanish Fly picks Cuban Wall up and goes to whip him into the ropes. However, Wall won't budge. Fly tries again. Wall still won't budge. Cuban Wall kicks Fly in the gut, and then simply throws him onto the mat! COACH Look how easy that was for Cuban Wall! He picked Spanish Fly up and threw him like he was nothing! Cuban Wall drops an elbow onto Spanish Fly's chest! He gets up, and then drops a leg across his throat! He does it a second time! And then a third time! Cuban Wall grabs Spanish Fly and whips him into the ropes. He follows with a sidewalk slam! COLE Sidewalk Slam by Cuban Wall on Spanish Fly! COACH He's got him now! Cuban Wall covers Spanish Fly, hooking his left leg. ONE! TWO!! THR--KICK OUT! COLE Maybe not! COACH Shut up. Cuban Wall is a little annoyed, but he still continues on. Wall gets up, and then picks Spanish Fly up by his mask. "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO FLY!" COLE This crowd desperately trying to rally Spanish Fly back into this match! COACH We're moments away from another successful title defense, Mikey! I can feel it! Cuban Wall nails Spanish Fly with the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms. Wall tells the crowd to "SHUT UP YOUR FACES!" He then goes back to the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms. CW scoops SF up into a fallaway slam position. COACH Uh-oh! Here it comes! Cuban Wall charges forward, hitting Spanish Fly's back against a turnbuckle. He then charges forward again, hitting Spanish Fly's back against a second turnbuckle. Wall charges forward a third time, hitting Spanish Fly's back against the third turnbuckle. Wall finishes it off with the fourth turnbuckle, and then completes his signature move with a powerslam! COLE Cuban Wall just PULVERIZING Spanish Fly's back! Wall goes for the cover. It gets two! "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO FLY!" COACH Wall is doing good thus far! COLE Indeed he is, Coach! And that is part of the reason he has held the 24/7 Title since AngleMania VI! COACH Part of the reason? COLE Well that, and The Lightning Crew's help! COACH Oh get off it, Cole! Get off it! Cuban Wall picks Spanish Fly up. He nails him right in the face with a right jab! He then nails Fly in the face with ANOTHER right jab! Spanish Fly staggers, but he doesn't fall! Cuban Wall grabs Fly, and whips him into a turnbuckle. Cuban Wall heads to the opposite corner, and then starts his engines. The crowd boos. Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he charges forward... ...SPANISH FLY MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!... ...CUBAN WALL HITS TURNBUCKLE! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE He missed! COACH WHAT!? Spanish Fly hops onto the second turnbuckle, and waits for Cuban Wall to get near him. Once he's near him, Fly grabs Cuban Wall in a facelock, and then pushes himself off the second turnbuckle, spinning around, and then driving Wall's head into the mat with a DDT! COLE Tornado DDT! Spanish Fly takes a moment to catch his breath, and then makes the cover, hooking Wall's right leg. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! KICK OUT! COLE Cuban Wall kicked out just in the nick of time! COACH Come on Wall! Don't let this little pipsqueak pull off the upset! This is YOUR title! Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes. Senton! Spanish Fly exits the ring. He then leaps onto the top ring rope and springboards off of it, dropping his left leg across Cuban Wall's throat! He goes for the cover again! Two count! COLE He might do it! He might pull it off! "FLY!" "FLY!" "FLY!" "FLY!" Spanish Fly exits the ring and climbs the top rope. He waits for Cuban Wall to get up. COLE Spanish Fly is up top! Wall might be in trouble! Spanish Fly motions for Wall to get up. Cuban Wall is on his side. COACH Look out! Wall, look out! Behind you! Behind you! Cuban Wall slowly gets up. He's on his right knee. COLE Cuban Wall might be on the verge of losing his 24/7 Title! COACH No! He's not! Don't jinx him! DON'T! Wall slowly stands up. He's a little dazed. Cuban Wall turns around. Spanish Fly leaps off the top rope. Hurricarana? HURRICARANA! COLE I don't believe it! The 4'11" Spanish Fly has taken down the 6'7" Cuban Wall with a hurricarana! COACH OH NO! Spanish Fly can't believe it either! But he doesn't stand in awe for long! 1! 2! CUBAN WALL THROWS SPANISH FLY OFF OF HIM! COLE The power! The strength of Cuban Wall! This is amazing! I can't believe he did that! Spanish Fly covers Cuban Wall. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Cuban Wall barely kicked out! Just barely! COACH Wall is playing possum! That's all he's doing! No way can Spanish Fly ALMOST beat him! COLE What? Come on now! Spanish Fly picks Cuban Wall up. Because he's so big, Fly has a little difficulty doing so. SF nails CW with some forearms. Spanish Fly gives Cuban Wall an Irish whip into the ropes--Wall reverses--Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes, Cuban Wall goes for a clothesline, Spanish Fly ducks, bounces off the opposite ropes, and hits Cuban Wall with a front dropkick from behind before he even knows what hit him! Cuban Wall stumbles right onto the second ring rope! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Spanish Fly is going for it! He could going for the kill! COACH Oh no! Look out! The crowd comes alive! They stand up and cheer loudly. Spanish Fly smiles a wide smile. He looks at the crowd. SPANISH FLY 6-1-9! Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes, charges forward, grabs the top and second ring ropes, and swings his body forward-- CUBAN WALL MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! Spanish Fly swings himself 360 degrees and lands back in the ring! Where Cuban Wall grabs him with his bare hands and lifts him up onto his shoulders! WALLBREAKER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 COLE Wallbreaker! Cuban Wall has hit the Wallbreaker on Spanish Fly! COACH Yes! I knew he could do it! The crowd boos! Cuban Wall sneers at Spanish Fly, and then bounces off the ropes, jumps up and crashes down onto Spanish Fly with THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! Forget about it! Cuban Wall sneers at Spanish Fly some more, and then covers Fly, hooking both legs. Mickey Jay counts. 1! 2!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (4:09) COLE And Cuban Wall retains the OAOAST 24/7 Title! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing as Cuban Wall gets up. Mickey Jay raises Wall's hands in victory, but Wall quickly snatches his hands away! Spanish Fly lies on the mat in pain. BUFFER Here is your winner...and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall stares down angrily at Spanish Fly. Mickey Jay hands Wall the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt, which Wall raises over his head to boos. COLE Cuban Wall has once again retained the 24/7 Title! Spanish Fly put up a fight, but in the end, Wall's size and strength overcame Spanish Fly's speed and agility! COACH The story of Fly's life! COLE Spanish Fly put up an effort! Can't you give him credit for that? COACH Nope! Cuban Wall looks down at Spanish Fly...and then starts stomping on him! COLE Oh come on now! Hasn't he had enough!? COACH Wall apparently doesn't think so! The crowd boos loudly! Cuban Wall continues stomping on Spanish Fly despite the bell ringing repeatedly! COACH Come on! When does that ever work!? "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Cuban Wall continues stomping on Fly. Mickey Jay tells Wall to stop, but Wall shoves him aside. Mickey Jay orders Wall to stop again! *DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING* COLE This is uncalled for! Spanish Fly is in horrible pain! COACH Yeah? Well, big whoop! COLE Don't you feel the LEAST bit of sympathy of Fly? COACH Hmm...nah! Cuban Wall stops stomping Spanish Fly...so that he can bounce off the ropes and give him another Lightning Crew Splash! COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! Again! Why doesn't somebody stop this!? COACH Look at Wall! Would YOU try to stop this? COLE Get somebody out here to control this monster! Cuban Wall goes back to stomping Spanish Fly. CW picks a dazed and hurt Spanish Fly and scoops him up, giving him a bodyslam onto the mat! COLE Damnit! Even THAT is enough to severely hurt Spanish Fly! COACH Which is why he does it. I'm enjoying this! COLE You sick person! COACH Hey! Oh you said person. Nevermind. Cuban Wall rushes forward, bounces off the ropes--but stops in his tracks when COLOMBIAN HEAT enters the ring with a steel chair! COLE Colombian Heat has arrived! Colombian Heat drops the chair and starts punching Cuban Wall in the face repeatedly! Cuban Wall swings wildly, but gets nothing but air! Heat, however, gets plenty of Wall's face! COLE We all know the history between these two! Colombian Heat attacks with lefts and rights! Once he's got Cuban Wall good and groggy, he picks up the steel chair and smashes it over Cuban Wall's head! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Wall got hit with the chair! COACH But he's still standing! Look! Indeed he is! But he IS stumbling! Colombian Heat drops the chair back onto the mat, and waits for Cuban Wall to get near him. When he does, Heat kicks Wall in the stomach, and then gives him the PIMP JUICE~! right onto the chair! COLE Pimp Juice! Pimp Juice from Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat gets up and does a SHIMMY~! He plays to the crowd some more! Heat kicks Cuban Wall, so Wall rolls out of the ring, holding his head. COLE Colombian Heat has struck, saving his best friend from Cuban Wall! COACH He'll get Heat! Wall has always hated Heat! He'll get him once and for all! Cuban Wall is kneeling down on the outside. Colombian Heat grabs the dented steel chair and checks on Spanish Fly, who is holding his chest and stomach. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. Cuban Wall grabs his OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt and slowly gets up. COLE Cuban Wall may have retained the 24/7 Title, but he sure doesn't look like a winner right now! COACH He'll look like a winner after he beats the crap out of Colombian Heat soon! When, I don't know! But Colombian Heat's not going to go unpunished for what he did! COLE He came to the aid of his friend! How is that wrong? COACH Cuban Wall was just having a little fun! COLE HAVING A LITTLE FUN!? Coach, were you and I watching the same thing!? COACH Yes. Cuban Wall enjoys hurting people. Let him have his fun! I'm certainly not going to stop him! COLE Well, somebody thankfully did! Colombian Heat goes back and forth between checking on Fly and looking at Cuban Wall walk up the entrance ramp with the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt in his right hand. "Gasolina (Remix)" continues playing. Heat yells out, "Yo ass iz mine, fool!" to Wall. Wall just shrugs it off. COLE Spanish Fly was saved from a brutal beatdown by Colombian Heat! But Cuban Wall is STILL the 24/7 Champion! COACH And will be for quite some time! I mean, who can stop him? COLE It looks like we may have found the guy! COACH Colombian Heat? HA! Give me a break! COLE You never know! COACH If Colombian Heat beats Cuban Wall for the 24/7 Title, I'll kiss another man! COLE Well, better find a handsome man Coach, because it might just happen! COACH Well, just incase, I hope it's Brad Pitt. COLE ....Let's just move on. Fans, we'll be right back. Colombian Heat holds up the steel chair threatening more pain for Cuban Wall. Spanish Fly is still in horrible pain, holding his head, chest, and stomach. Cuban Wall jaw jacks with Colombian Heat, and then raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt with his right hand over his head. Colombian Heat says, "I wants dat belt!" Cuban Wall says, "No chance in Hell!" They continue jaw jacking with each other. Colombian Heat and Cuban Wall point menacingly at each other. Colombian Heat yells at Cuban Wall, his face red with ANGER~! while "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull continues playing. This is the last image we see before we fade to black.FADE TO BLACK* COMMERCIAL BREAK * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 The show returns with a view of Michael Cole COLE Fans we take you backstage now where Josh Matthews is standing by with a very angry Jacob Cross who has something to say. (Backstage Josh stands next to Jacob, who paces back and forth like he's ready to explode.) JOSH Last week Jacob you had the match in hand against Vitamin X when you were jumped from behind and then double teamed. I understand you have a few words for Vitamin X. JACOB I came into the OAOAST to have a good time Josh. I didn't come here to cause trouble or because I had some sort of score to settle. I just came here to do what I do best and someone comes along and starts something! Vitamin X thinks he can just run roughshod over me and not have to pay for it! Well that's not going to happen. Where I come from when someone gets in your face you knock them back. When someone gets a big head you knock them down a few notches! When someone does you wrong........you pay them back. (Jacob gets a far off look in his eyes for a second, as if he is remembering something.) JOSH Are you okay? JACOB I'm fine. Old memories...that's for another time. What's important now is the Great Angle Bash! Vitamin X I'm challenging you to a match! Let's step this up a notch. Let's take this to the big stage. Pay Per View! You and me, one on one, in that ring. You haven't even seen me pissed off yet! Last week was a friendly match until you made it into something else. Now we're in for a good old fashioned fight! JOSH You still have to worry about the rest of the Lightning Crew. JACOB I'm aware of what I'm up against. I've been in enough bar fights to know how to handle myself when the numbers are against me. So don't worry your little head for me Josh. Vitamin X the challenge has been laid down. When you have your answer I won't be hard to find! (Jacob walks off to the left) JOSH Harsh words from Jacob Cross. We'll just have to wait and see what Vitamin X's response is. The camera cuts to another section of the backstage area. The camera does a pan of Mr. Boricua, starting with his feet, and going *all the way up* to his head. The crowd boos. Mr. Boricua is wearing his sunglasses and staring out into the open, with his arms crossed. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican stands right next to him, and the size difference is quite obvious. PRL is sporting a new slicked back hairstyle and is in his wrestling attire. Stephen Joseph Popick stands to the opposite side of Mr. Boricua looking on with an evil grin on his face. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stands behind Boricua, holding the OAOAST Women's Championship belt (remember that?) over her left shoulder. The rest of The Lightning Crew watches from a distance. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN All right, Boricua. This is it! This is your night! YOUR moment! YOUR destiny! Remember, your whole career you've been working for this one moment! Your time in the sun! Tonight is your night, YOUR day of glory! You, my friend, are Bound For Glory! Do you hear me? MR. BORICUA YES! THA PUERTO RICAN Good. This is it, Boricua. You're going to anilihate Zack Malibu. You're going--you're going to rip him apart. Take him out. You're--you're going to crush him. You're going to chew him up and SPIT him out! You're going to--you're going to DESTROY ZACK MALIBU! YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK HIS BONES! YOU'RE GOING TO SQUASH HIM LIKE A BUG! YOU'RE GOING TO CRIPPLE HIM! MR. BORICUA GRRRRR. PRL YOU'RE GOING TO CRUMPLE HIM UP LIKE HE'S A NEWSPAPER AND THROW HIM INTO THE GARBAGE! MR. BORICUA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! PRL You're the biggest threat he's ever faced! You're bigger than The Big Show. Bigger than Andre The Giant. You're the biggest big man the OAOAST has ever seen, and tonight you are going to become THEIR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! MR. BORICUA ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! PRL And then, Boricua, what's going to happen next? MR. BORICUA Uhhh...Me. Give. Belt. To. You? PRL No! No! No! No! Not that! No, Boricua! No! Uh-uh! Not that way! No! Absolutely not! No! We just don't give belts over to people in the OAOAST! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK But P.R., isn't that how you got the 24/7 Titl-- THA PUERTO RICAN Cool it! POPICK Chill. PRL No. See, remember what we talked about? After you beat Zack Malibu, I'm going to come out and cash in my Golden Contract. (PRL holds up his black spray-painted briefcase containing his Golden Contract inside) Then, we'll have a match. HOWEVER, because you'll be so tired and in pain from your match with Zack *wink wink nudge nudge*, the match will be short because you won't be able to handle my awesomeness. So, you'll fall to the Corporate Nightmare, I'll cover you, and I'll become the NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and FINALLY FINALLY FULFIL MY DESTINY! MR. BORICUA But. Tonight. My. Destiny! PRL looks surprised at hearing this. He quickly tries to find a way out of this predicament. PRL Uh...it is. Boricua, it is. Trust me. It is. It is your night of destiny too! Really, it is. MR. BORICUA Really? PRL Yes. Really! I swear. POPICK Yep. It is, Boricua! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ He's right! MR. BORICUA You. Sure? PRL I swear, Boricua. Cross my heart. Hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye! MR. BORICUA I. Hate. Needles. Needles BAD! NEEDLES BAD! GRRRRRRRRRRRR! PRL Uh, needles bad! Needles bad! I know, Boricua! I know! Now, go out there and do what I say, which is...? MR. BORICUA DESTROY ZACK MALIBU! PRL That a boy, Boricua! Now, go out there and win the World Title for me--and you too! POPICK Yeah! LINDSAY You can do it Boricua! MR. BORICUA DESTROY ZACK MALIBU! ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! PRL taps Boricua on his right shoulder and walks away. The Lightning Crew and Popick cheer him on. PRL, Popick, and Lindsay follow him, PRL holding the black spray-painted briefcase with an evil smile on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Go get him, big man! POPICK You're the man, Boricua! LINDSAY You can do it, Boricua! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! Go get 'im, Boricua! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Do it, big time, big man! CUBAN WALL This is your night, dude! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! PRINCESS STACEY Good luck, Boricua! The crowd boos. The camera cuts to Sofa Central with Double C~! COLE I can't believe it! PRL is using Mr. Boricua as a way to get the Title to him! COACH Why can't you believe it? It actually makes sense once you think about it! COLE Well, I supposed after four years, nothing is unbelievable when it comes to Tha Puerto Rican. COACH That's why he is the best wrestler never to wear the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title...until tonight! COLE Well, we'll find out coming up next! Zack Malibu puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title on the line against Mr. Boricua in a match that "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will surely be watching! Zack Malibu vs. Mr. Boricua in the main event for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship in just a heartbeat away! It's coming up next right here on HeldDOWN~!COMING UP NEXTEven idiots deserve a world title shot****OAOAST World Title****Zack Malibu Vs BoricuaNEXT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 "No Chance In Hell" has already begun by the time we return to HeldDOWN~!, and it appears we're just about ready for the next match BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing at this time the challenger, hailing from Tijuana, Mexico, and weighing in tonight at an even three hundred pounds. He is a member of The Lightning Crew, this is MISTER BORRRRRRRRRR-EEEE-CUAAAAAAA! The bodyguard for Tha Puerto Rican, the leader of the Lightning Crew, makes his way down the aisle, looking as imposing and intimidating as ever. He steps through the ropes and is met with more boos from the crowd, but the stern, uncaring look on his face shows he's ready for what may come his way here tonight. What IS going to come his way is coming right now as a matter of fact, as "Getting Away With Murder" sends the previously unimpressed fans into a frenzy. Charging out from the back with the World Title wrapped around his waist. BUFFER And now, the champion! Hailing from Providence, Rhode Island, and weighing in tonight at two hundred and five pounds, he is the THREE TIME reigning and defending OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, he is ZAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUU! COLE What a match we've got here, Coach. Zack Malibu, in his first statement as champion, said that he would take the term "fighting champion" to the next level. Hoping to reestablish the prestige of the belt after the way Drek Stone defamed it during his reign, Malibu has pretty much left himself open for any and all challengers, starting tonight with Mr. Boricua! COACH Let's not forget that Malibu is not a recent favorite of the Lightning Crew, nor that Tha Puerto Rican has that "Golden Contract". Plus, already, Landon Maddix, who thinks that the SWF World Title makes him better than anyone on our roster, has issued a warning that he's got his eye on Zack. COLE Zack's got that pride, some call it foolish pride, but make no mistake, he won't back down if any or all of those men attempt to back the belt that most feel belong around his waist above anyone else's! As soon as Zack steps through the ropes, Boricua attacks, clubbing Zack over the back with forearm shots before sending him into the ropes, then catching him as he bounces back towards him and presses him overhead before sending him back to earth the hard way! COLE Mr. Boricua has jumped at the chance to be OAOAST World Champion here tonight, and he's not wasting any time! Zack gets up, and when he does Boricua unfastens the OAOAST World Title from around his waist, then shoves Zack away before raising the belt in the air and grunting loudly. The fans in the arena jeer this gesture, and referee Nick Patrick is quick to take the belt away from him and hand it over to Michael Buffer so this match can start proper! DING! DING! DING! Buffer sounds the bell as he sits down at ringside, and when Boricua turns around he's met with a flurry of right hands from a furious Zack Malibu! Each blow staggers the big man, and when Zack bounces off the ropes...he runs right into a big boot from the Lightning Crew's bruiser! COACH He stuck him in the mush with that one! Boricua yanks Zack up, but he's met with a jawbreaker for his efforts, and that sends him staggering back. Zack rushes to the ropes and comes off, nailing Boricua with a diving clothesline that puts him down! Zack waits on him to get up, but rather than go head to head with his foe, the burly beast backs up into the corner, trying to give himself a rest period! COLE Come on now, he's backing down!? COACH You forget, there ain't 178 other Lightning Crew members out here to back him up! COLE YET. Boricua comes out of the corner snarling, and ties up with Malibu. The obvious power advantage comes into play here, as Boricua simply shoves Zack down to the canvas, but Malibu rolls to his feet and gets right back up! They tie up again, and Malibu tries to keep him placed in a headlock, but Boricua shoves Zack into the ropes, then simply stands still for the most part, nailing a rebounding Malibu with a shoulderblock. Zack brushes it off and comes up again circling the ring, while Boricua sneers at him before lunging. Another tie-up follows, and this time Boricua pushes Malibu back to the corner. When he breaks, he tries a quick charge in to crush Malibu, but Zack moves out of the way, and then opens fire with some quick right hand jabs! Boricua is dazed, so Malibu climbs up on the ropes and starts hammering away, drawing the crowd into it so that they count along! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! It's at that point that Boricua shoves Zack down, but Zack lands on his feet! He charges in but eats a back elbow, and then gets hoisted up for a bodyslam...but slides down the back of Mr. Boricua and dropkicks him between the shoulder blades, sending him through the ropes and out to the floor! COLE Zack caught the big man off balance, and now what's he got in store? Boricua gets to his feet, but the moment he looks up all he sees is the World Champion leaping over the ropes and rotating in mid-air, just before crashing down on top of his rival! COACH Verrrry niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice! COLE Flip plancha by Zack Malibu takes Mr. Boricua down! Malibu gets to his feet, as pumped as the crowd is, and turns to his foe and strikes him with a hard chop, and another, and then grabs him by the head and tosses him onto the apron. Boricua gets rolled into the ring, and Malibu slingshots back in and follows suit. The big hoss is then met with a blistering kick to his right leg, hitting just above the kneecap. A second kick follows, nailing the already tender spot. Boricua pushes Zack away with one hand as he favors the leg with the other, but that just draws Malibu forward again, this time striking Boricua right in the face with a headbutt! The big man is thrown off-balance as Malibu hits the ropes and comes off with a spinning wheel kick that catches Mr. Boricua in the chest and takes him down to the canvas! Zack hooks a leg and covers, while Nick Patrick makes the count! ONE! TWO! NO! COACH He gotta outta that one pretty easily, Mikey Cole. COLE He's as resilient as he is big, Coach. That's why he's such an asset to the Crew. Zack gets up and grabs a headlock on Mr. Boricua as he pushes up, but Malibu soon finds himself lifted off his feet! He manages to float over Boricua's shoulder and land behind him, but when he swings him around the giant enforcer is ready for him, and drives a knee into his gut to double him over! Boricua then wraps his thick arms around Zack's ribs and squeezes, then lifts and tosses him back, sending Malibu sailing with a belly to belly overhead suplex! Boricua drags Malibu to the center of the ring and hits the ropes, coming off with a splash to his prone foe...but Malibu's not as prone as he thinks, since he's able to escape the move! Boricua crashes to the canvas, and as he tries to push up to his feet, he's helped by Malibu, who snares him by the head, grips his waistband, and hoists him over with a snap suplex! COLE Zack Malibu just took the 300 pounder up and over! Zack stands over Boricua, then jumps into the air and comes down with his knee driven into the forehead of his opponent. He ducks out to the apron and starts climbing the ropes, concluding with him leaping from the third rope with a picturesque legdrop that connects with the fallen Latino! COACH DAMN! COLE Guillotine legdrop from the champion, and a cover! ONE! TWO! T-NO! MR. BORICUA GETS A FOOT ON THE ROPES! COLE Nick Patrick saw it, and Boricua escapes defeat once again! Zack rolls off his foe, and starts leading him to his feet, stunning him with forearm shots to keep the momentum shifted in his favor. He takes Boricua by the arm and whips him to the ropes, but the big man reverses and sends Zack in! Zack rebounds and dodges a wild shot by Boricua by baseball sliding between his legs, and pops up instantaneously, cracking the challenger on the jaw with his patented superkick as he turns around! COLE School's Out connects! That had to do it! Malibu leaps atop Boricua, and once again the count is made... ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE That's one defense down, and many more to go for our World Champion! "Getting Away With Murder" is cued up by the sound guy, and the fans rejoice as Malibu is handed the biggest prize in wrestling today, the OAOAST World Championship. Zack raises the belt high over his head as he soaks in the cheers of the crowd COLE Zack Malibu, riding high atop the OAOAST! And what bette... HEY! HEY! A sudden change occurs in the crowd, the cheers dieing down and fingers being pointed to the rampway as LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX sprints into sight! Maddix skids into the ring at full speed and tackles Zack from behind, catching the World Champion unawares! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit, Landon Maddix! The now FORMER SWF World Champion, right on cue! Maddix clubs away on Zack as the sound truck has the good sense to realise this isn't on the runsheet and cut the music. As Zack falls under the barrage of strikes, Maddix turns out to the crowd and licks his index finger, chalking an imaginary point for himself on an imaginary scoreboard. COACH It's true what they say, Zack has gone from being the hunter to the hunted. No sooner has he staved off one challenge, here comes another. COLE This isn't a 'challenge', it's a damn ambush! Turning away from the crowd, Landon quickly takes control of the OAOAST World Title from Zack's fingertips. Exposing the main plate of the belt he then crouches, lying in wait. Zack tries to drag himself up, determined to make whoever blindsighted him pay, little realising what's waiting on him. With a quick shuffle of the feet, in comes Maddix, catching Zack as he turns... ...*BELTSHO... ...NO! ZACK DUCKS! Shocked, Maddix slams on the brakes and turns around, right into a big right hand! And another! Another... another... another... COLE Zack isn't done yet for the night! Disorientated, Landon drops the title under the flurry of fists. Zack spots it and with one last right hand he backs La Cucaracha up, allowing him time to retrieve his title and swi... ...NO! Before the *beltshot* can materalise, Landon dives to safety, throwing his hands up and scampering for safety. Landon falls at the bottom of the aisle and still look shocked as Zack scales the ring ropes, leaning over and slapping HIS World Title before daring Landon to 'come and get it'. Having dragged himself back up, the embarrassed La Cucaracha backs up, "Getting Away With Murder" striking up again as he does. COLE Well, one of these two men is still a World Champion... COACH Uncalled for! COLE ...and it's the World Champion standing tall! Zack has fought the tide this week, but the message is clear. The hunter has become the hunted. And you've got to believe, Landon Maddix is only to get more and more desperate to dethrone The Franchise in the coming weeks! Folks, we'll see you next week, same HeldDOWN~! time, same HeldDOWN~! channel! Goodnight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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