Chanel #99 Posted November 19, 2016 Report Share Posted November 19, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD We focus on Sofa Central which has been decorated Thanksgiving style! RENEE Gang we are live and thankful for your awesomeness as you join us for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Renee with Da Coach... COACH I'm thankful for the upskirt cam on Pete's website! I won't just survive Oh, you will see me thrive Can't write my story I'm beyond the archetype I won't just conform No matter how you shake my core 'Cause my roots, they run deep, oh Oh, ye of so little faith Don't doubt it, don't doubt it Victory is in my veins I know it, I know it And I will not negotiate I'll fight it, I'll fight it I will transform When, when the fire's at my feet again And the vultures all start circling They're whispering, "You're out of time," But still I rise This is no mistake, no accident When you think the final nail is in Think again Don't be surprised I will still rise With “Rise" by Katy Perry playing out comes the very much disliked group of Pretty Young Money, all in full force with a gleeful Melissa leading the way. RENEE Here come the Miss Anderson Cup winners and new Hotties Tag Team Champions. Some might say their win is a bit tainted... COACH Not me! You play the hand you're dealt, and that's what these gals did. And they beat the house! That's what Melissa's song is all about. Listen to it. Don't be surprised, she will rise, and she rose! Rose high! God bless her soul! Inside the ring Melissa, of course, takes the forefront for the group. MELISSA Land-a-goshin! If this don't beat all! Me and my gal, Anny, holding tag title gold once again. Praise Jesus! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MELISSA Ya'll can raise a stink all ya'll want, but fair is fair, ain't it? Or all ya'll gonna be some new age hippies stomping down the street, walking out of school, protesting 'cause you don't like the way the world works. I'll tell ya what, schools in this world need less protesting the president and more embracing Christ...and me! “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!” PHECDA A victory for Melissa. AL HOUD A win for destiny. For the ages. PHECDA History now marks are a true leader of our times.. PHECDA Melissa Nerdly. The queen is right here. AL HOUD The goddess is right here. ANASTASIA Yes, oh yes, Melissa I had absolute faith we could do it. And did we? Yes we did! There are people who say we had an easy road to the trophy and the titles. I ask you is it easy to wake up at 6 am to catch a flight that will arrive you to a city at 12 so you can get to the arena by 5 so you can wrestle at 8? Is that easy? No that's the road of sacrifice. MELISSA Much like Jesus sacrificed himself for ya'll's sins! Good work, Anastasia, I knew you weren't a heathen. I was having my doubts, but that there speech changed my mind. Good work. RENEE She hands out insults so casually. SUGAR This ain't fair! MELISSA Huh? What ain't fair? SUGAR I want a title too! No, I deserve a title! Charlotte's got one, you guys got one, why ain't I got one? There's a conspiracy to keep me down! PHECDA There is. AL HOUD We are assured. RENEE Oh man, now they're encouraging her. SUGAR See, the weirdos say it! MELISSA Well, Anastasia and I ain't part of no conspiracy, but you're part of PYM and what's mine is yours. Except for the spotlight and the love Jesus has for me, but the titles, heck yeah, you can have a hand in defending them. Isn't that right, Anastasia? ANASTASIA Sure it is! SUGAR That's the way it oughta be. But I ain't gonna settle for one belt. I want em all! I'm gonna out do the whole wide world and take me a Hotties Title too boot! Hey, hey I let you walk all over me, me You know that I’m a little tease, tease But I wanna play there please, please The second after Sugar announces that “Bad Girl” by Avril Lavigne plays and out comes Annagret Wickedborn, looking sharp in a sailor type outfit with red velvet boots. ANNAGRET You win another Hotties title? Stop wasting your breath, kiddo. SUGAR Kiddo?! ANNAGRET The OAOAST Galaxy isn't the type to believe a shrimp like you is gonna overcome the odds and shock the world. This isn't the American election. This is the OAOAST, where the strongest and best rule, and I happen to be the best at everything there is. Looking good, fucking good, and winning big! I don't know where the lights are taking us But something in the night is dangerous And nothing's holding back the two of us But, baby, this is getting serious Oh oh oh Dan-danger-dangerous Oh oh oh “Dangerous” hits with Annagret now forming a scowl as the purple and black night gown dressed Midnight Foxes arrive onto the scene with their fuck-buddy/manager Jim Cornette. CORNETTE Now hold on a minute! This ain't the street corner you all know so well, this is the OAOAST where order and class prevails! Luckily, I was able to come out here after being worn out for weeks from my two girls. I had the midnight express, but these two are fed-ex, tell em why- CAELDORI Because when we go out with Big Jimmy, we absolutely have to be there overnight. RUBY Big Jimmy indeed. He takes us to the highest class hotels and there's screaming, there's moaning, there's fucking and there's cumming! MELISSA God! ANNAGRET Yes? CORNETTE I tell ya what else, when I'm not with these two Foxes, I gotta watch where I go around these towns, because there's a lot of drinking, a lot of boozing, a lot of swearing, a lot of stinking because Mama Nerdly and Gedrun Sponns don't follow the restraining order I got against them! CAELDORI We know Mister Cornette's a perfect looking guy, but keep your mom's off him. ANNAGRET Are we really having this conversation? I think a Fleshlight would have second thoughts about hopping on your needle dick. I came out to tell Sugar to get in the back of the line for the Hottie's Title, or better yet get out entirely, because you have to be this tall to ride. SUGAR Tell me she did not just say that! “I AIN'T GOT NO MOTHERFUCKING FRIENDS!” “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Adding to the combustible situation is Men-U-Pause, striding down the ring with Archie Stumplebottom behind them, dressed as Princess Peach! HOLLY Isn't this a (beep)ing picnic and a half? A couple of stick up their asses bitches arguing about which belt should go above their dry (beep)! MALAYSIA Worst of all are the Midnight Foxes, who think we haven't forgotten they're reason we missed out on our first Miss Anderson Cup conference finals. I just pegged my Esmeralda with soap for lube because she forget to call me Mistress Malaysia, just think what I'm going to do you. HOLLY I know what I'm gonna do! BAM! Holly punches Jim Cornette in the face! “OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE Flashback to 2005! All hell promptly breaks lose with the combatants in the ring now duking it out! MELISSA Get me outta here! Phecda and Al Houd whisk Melissa away, but leave Anastasia and Sugar behind to do battle along with everyone else. Though the fight doesn't last too much longer as people have to be separated by security to prevent further wildness and mayhem! RENEE Whew! Everyone just lost their mind on that one. COACH Shit was brazy and I think Sophie got a bomb on her hands in the Hottie's division. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2016 ***TurboWolf Vs Jobb Burr*** A bit of an easy match for TW. Well not a bit a very easy match, but lucky for Burr, the 24/7 champ kept it weapon free and just pounded on him until he beat him with the 10,000 Fists superman punch. Winner: TurboWolf, via pinfall Post-match, TurboWolf had something to say to Nat Black... TURBOWOLF We can carry this beef till one of us buried underground, I don't got no problem with that, but you'll have to bury me in the grave and watch me burn in hell before you take the 24/7 title off me. Do all you want at November Reign it don't make no difference to me, this title is mine, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2016 Ice Quiz is engaging in some warm up exercises which for him involve throwing up gang signs to the confused passerbys. But one woman doesn't pass him by and that's a stunning Lorelei DeCenzo in a brown sequined gown. LORELEI Martin. ICE QUIZ Sup girl. Been a while. LORELEI Yes, it has hasn't it. ICE QUIZ Be looking forward to November Reign, me, C-Dub, your boys, Deuce Deuce against Krista, Blaine, Mister No Dick, Big Baron and pimpin Lucius. LORELEI I know the match. I am fine with Deuce, and Christian I know intimately, I helped guide him to an undefeated record for two years. But you, I remember you all to well. From The Black Mass of course. Inconsistent. Lazy. Poor Attitude. I can trust the other three with Tyler's health, but not you. I want you to quit. ICE QUIZ Quit? I'ma keep it g-real, I didn't fuck with you either in The Black Mass, and I don't fuck with you now. But what you saying, you don't want me on the team, you can dead that talk, you disrespecting me and you disrespecting my hood. LORELEI What hood is that? The suburbs of Calgary? Mister former tag team champion? ICE QUIZ You lucky you be who you be, and what you is, an uptight bitch, because if you was a ratchet ho we could get down. You wanna see me do that work, send one of ya mans at ya boy, let him run my fade. We out here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2016 In front of an OAOAST back drop stood Sunshine Yukino and the US Champ, Lancel Locke to discuss Ser AC attack at HS SUNSHINE YUKINO Bad man, almost cost me big bucks! Take out handsome hung Sunray? Bad man! I sue back to dark ages, get you Black Plague be happy you die! LANCEL AC, we don't sue we fight. Isn't that right? Or do we sneak attack like a little bitch? What's good, son? It's like the song my mom used to play says, anything you want, you got it. You want me, you got me. Let's do it. ***THE FLEX W/Lorelei DeCenzo Vs Ice Quiz*** RENEE Oooh how bout this match! Some big boys at play like it was WCW Nitro. COACH Krista is less attracted to you due to that reference. RENEE COACH Shit, anyway, IQ got something to prove after dropping those tag straps. But FLEX is always with the shits. The big boys threw big bombs early on, which quite impressed the crowd. FLEX tried to take IQ down, but got his effort stuffed, then nearly got choked out. But FLEX recovered and decked his foe with a lariat that pleased Lorelei. FLEX FLEX SMASH! ICE QUIZ Flex smash? Flex need to get the fuck on out of here! The whole match didn't last very long as the big men started to wear themselves down with the heavy punches. But when IQ went for the We Be Clubbin Elbow, he got superkicked by TYLER BRYANT! That led FLEX to jump up and hit IQ with the FLEX-O-RILL! Winner: Ice Quiz, via dq Tyler would have delivered more damage to FLEX but Blaine's music hit and that had the champion backing away until eventually he had to tuck his tail and run from The Lion. Blaine was left to deal with FLEX and wore him down until he let Ice Quiz do the honors with a big boot! RENEE Wow that was super insane. Let's lay this out, Tyler and FLEX just beat up their own November Reign teammate, but then one of their opponents for November Reign came out and saved their teammate from them. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2016 Backstage, the 3 Amigos hold a mini fiesta in honor of winning the OAOAST 6-man titles at the Halloween Spectacular. On hand is OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood who is scheduled to speak with the new champions. Also in attendance are various fan favorite OAOAST Hotties who are able to let loose knowing they don't have to fear spiked drinks or being grabbed by the pussy. CHICK Oh girls? Rocking a straw hat, feather boa and Hawaiian shirt, Chick suspends a WRESTLING RING PIÑATA for the OAOAST Hotties to take a wack at. Sara Jean is given first crack. SARA JEAN You want me to take a swing? But we're supposed to do-- Oh why not? I think the OAOAST Galaxy realizes you're excited to be champions and plan on being fighting champions. The 3 Amigos nod. SJU hands Chick her mic and takes a few practice swings until RICO DE JANEIRO snatches away her stick. REMY BRAZIL and PETE-O arrive on the scene as well. Like a moth to a flame Pete goes straight for the ladies with a drink, all of whom smart enough to walk away. PETE RICO (to Sara Jean) I got a stick you can handle. Maybe later tonight. Sara Jean rolls her eyes. RICO Now, we don't mean to crash your little party here -- and everybody knows we love a good party -- but we've come to discuss business. After your big win at the Halloween Spectacular, you guys are packing a bit more... around the waist. That's where we come in. Because we want those belts. CHICK Ooh, a challenge! How manly! Well, we'll have to check our schedules-- No, I'm lying. Of course we accept! Give the people what they want -- a good fight. And the 3 Amigos back down for no one. No, I'm lying again. But that's out of the ring. In the ring, it's true! RICO Whatever, mang. Just know you're going down. In defeated, mang! Rico uses the stick to break open the piñata. As the Hotties go for the candy Rico and crew exit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2016 ***Tim Cash Vs Coulter Doyle W/Flynn Stevens*** Cash started out with his customary handshake, which Stevens accepted, but then got Flynn into an armbar! COULTER You think your shit money step up to the bank, chump! COACH Tell him! RENEE You aren't pretending to be a fan of Coulter are you? Cash managed to escape the arm bar, but still wanted a handshake. COACH Dude is a fool. RENEE He's a nice guy. There's nothing wrong with that. COACH Except that's why he always finishes last. Cash rebounded and fought hard against Flynn, fending off his karate based moves. The Peroia native would lock in the Midwest sling but Flynn was able to escape the submission. The Karate Negro escaped and hit a savate kick that he was shocked to only get two on. Cash got to his feet and fought against a now angry Stevens. It seemed Cash might have got the upperhand with an enziguri, but Flynn recovered quickly and beat him with a surprise dragon sleeper. Winner: Flynn Stevens, via pinfall Post-match Flynn wouldn't let go of the hold, and of course Coulter egged him on. Finally several security officials pried Stevens off Cash, but the damage had been done. RENEE What a classes thug! COACH Thug?! You racist as shit! RENEE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2016 R&C recap Dem Bums getting revenge on VICE and Joey The Rat at November Reign over the assault on them weeks prior. Backstage, OAOAST Hall of Famer Tony Brannigan joins them in the locker room. Looking sharpe -- by his standards at least -- in his fedora and oversized suit, Tony Tourettes explained how VICE and Joey ruined the life of luxury he's been living ever since inheriting $50,000. TONY T (to VICE & Joey) So fuck you. Fuck you. And fuck you. VINNY Look at dem guys. Wannabe gangbangers wearing their pants so low. Oh wait, that's cuz youse losers ain't got belts no more! Dem Bums high five. TONY T Payback's a bitch, motherfuckers! Suddenly a production assistant handed Dem Bums a manila envelope, saying it was left outside the production truck. The guys opened it up and are overwhelmed by a foul stench. Tony Brannigan included. TONY T Jesus! What's inside, a fucking fish? VINNY (digs in envelope) Something... for YOU?! Tony T snatches the envelope away and pulls out a disc with a Post-it note attached: "From Your Secret Admirer. Xoxo *hand drawn heart*" VINNY Nice penmanship. The bloody heart drawing makes it a bit freaky though. TONY T Freaky's good. Means she's a dirty fucking whore. Heh. A dirty freaky fucking whore! BRANNIGAN Upon closer inspection that heart looks to have been drawn with-- VINNYR-R-Real blood. *gulp* TONY T Dirty. Freaky. Fucking. Whore. *kisses Post-it* VINNY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2016 We're in Melody's gaming room which looks like a War Room but gaming oriented with nearly every system known to man present no matter how obscure and numerous empty bottles of mountain dew. At the forefront is Pimp Magic Lucius Soul with his Titty Mama, Melody Nerdly and her beautiful bouncing breasts. MELODY Land a-gosh-in as my sister Melissa would say! I am the titty mama with my big pimp daddy, Lucius Soul and guess what dudes? We're not here to have sex! The jokes on you! But we are here to preview none other than OAOAST 2K17! Thanks for helping me, daddy! SOUL Oh ya'll don't believe Pimp Magic gets down the PS4, well watch this good shit! MELODY Daaaaaaang, a pimp who plays games is sooooooo sexy, I think I wanna have your baby! But we gotta keep kids off my tits and leave him for the tricks on the streets. SOUL Girl you so freaky, a nigga doesn't know what to do next. With big ol titties in leather jumpsuits, niggas won't know what to do with you, by the time they figure out to handle you titty mama they be collecting social security. Same goes for my foes in the ring, them hoes at November Reign will be old and worn down before they figure out how to beat Lucius Soul with the 1-2-3. MELODY They don't stand a chance against you, daddy. But if you come up lame at my babeness you can always get trounced by me at 2k17! Let's see if the entrances for Pierette and Ser AC are cool enough to pick... MELODY Who doesn't love a ginger? Bastards that's who! Bastards like this guy.... MELODY That's all we got time for this week, ladies and germs. As always... SOUL Pimp hard and pimp harder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2016 OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~!: November Reign - Mr. Dick and Baron Windels capture tag titles in controversial fashion. Backstage, the new champions join OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood at the world famous interview lounge where the 3 Amigos fiesta continues. His hand in a soft brace, BW shakes his head at the video's conclusion. Meanwhile, Mr. Dick has a shit-eating grin on his face. SARA JEAN Baron, before we get into how you guys won the OAOAST Tag Team Championship... MD scoffs. SARA JEAN (CONT'D) ... I wanna ask how you're doing because you gave the OAOAST Galaxy quite a scare at the Halloween Spectacular. BARON Them and my mama. Yeah I smashed my hand up pretty good, but only Superman could've survived what happened to me without doing any damage. MISTER DICK And this was no little boo-boo either. You know, the kind that keeps so-called "fighting champion" glued to the bench to avoid stiff competition. Not that I'm saying the OAOAST has guys on the roster like that. Just ask Christian Wright. He'd tell you I'm not the type of guy to namedrop. SARA JEAN Riiiight. And I'm not the type to ask somebody's tag team partner how they felt about the way they won the titles. *looks at BW* MISTER DICK BARON Well I'll be real honest and say I didn't have a problem with the eye poke and hair pullin'. MISTER DICK BARON It's almost impossible to escape the Cloverleaf, so you gotta do whatever you can to avoid it. MISTER DICK Damn right. BARON The hair pull was only done to bring the guy to the ground. You see it in football. It's not illegal. MISTER DICK Exactly! BARON Now the handful of tights-- MISTER DICK BW! Buddy! I hate to stop you right there, but like I explained to you privately and now publicly to all the milk spillers worldwide... I was trying to cradle CW's ass for extra leverage -- fairly, I might add -- but my fingernails got caught in his ugly ass tights. SARA JEAN Really? MISTER DICK True story. And to think I had plans to cut my nails earlier that day but completely forgot because I was so focused on our title match. SARA JEAN You do know Big IQ will want a rematch, right? MISTER DICK No shit. Although I'm not really sure why since we'd just kick their ass again. Let's roll, man. This party sucks. As the champs leave Chick, who may or may not be drunk, hops on the counter and does rapid fire pelvic thrusts to a cheering crowd. ***The Kings of the Heap Vs Colin Maguire Jr and Teddy Buckworth W/Angel Maguire*** RENEE Well, normally The Kings are the strongest team in the match but now they've got to face two vampires. The match started out as a brawl that spilled outside for Teddy and Rayder. The Scotsman tried to powerbomb Teddy through the announce table, but Buckworth countered and gave him an Alabama slam onto the floor. RENEE He almost ruined my Thanksgiving decorations! In the ring, Scourge drew blood from, Colin but vamp healing caused the cut to close. Scourge tried to open it back up with an exposed ring post, but ate a Harvard Plex that popped the crowd! COACH Harvard ain't seen a man like him sense. Rayder returned to the ring and gouged Colin's eyes, then back dropped him out the ring. RAYDER Aye, let's see ya sight grow back, lady boy. ANGEL Lady boy? I gave birth to a boy! Teddy took the fight to his foes, but thanks to loose officiating, they got the upper hand on him. SCOURGE Where's the tough man now, eh? It ain't tea time, fancy man, ye gotta fight back. Teddy did fight back and made the tag to Colin, which excited the fans. Colin ran through the heels with Buckworth soon joining him. But in the chaos the official got wrapped up with Teddy and Rayder, allowing Leon to sneak into the ring and hit his rolling sobat kick! RENEE One Hit Kill! And that got the upset win for The Kings! Winner: The Kings of the Heap, via pinfall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2016 POLICE STATIONLAS VEGAS Next to a sweating with nervousness police officer is... CASSIDY MAGUIRE, sneering as she walks through the hallways of the station OFFICER Miss Cassidy, we are so sorry. If we knew you were a good friend of president elect Trump, we would never have arrested you for- CASSIDY Save it, ass hat. I'm gonna have the arresting officers stranded on a New Jersey bridge and ran down by a group of immigrants fleeing Steve Bannon on a flaming chariot straight out of hell! Where's my limo? OFFICER Your limo is outside and your friend is right this way. CASSIDY Friend? Cassidy walks forward towards processing to find none other than... GRETCHEN WRIGHT waiting for her with a smile and... CASSIDY Oh look, Madame President of dreaming to get her ass eaten by an autistic Bill Nye. GRETCHEN I have come to retrieve my vice president. CASSIDY Vice president? I quit Delta House! GRETCHEN You can not. You are its founder, I need- BANG BANG BANG! OFFICER Gun shots! VOICES AHHHHHHHHHHHH! BANG BANG BANG! VOICE (OS) They're everywhere! VOICE 2 (OS) Its eating me! Its eating me! AAAHHHHHHHH! GRETCHEN The zombies! Come Cassidy we must escape! CASSIDY We? For all I know you'll lead me into a brain and ass licking orgy. GRETCHEN Please put aside your grudge with me and come. You as well officer! The trio get on the run trying to get to the limo, but fine the door blocked by piles of bodies! OFFICER We need to go to the underground tunnel! Off the three go, hauling past the new zombie invasion which are tearing apart the flesh of the police staff. The three hurry fast, running past the chaotic scene. But the officer with the girls is suddenly tackled by CLEM BUZZLEFOXER! OFFICER AHHHHHHHHHHH! CLEM CLEM GOT DA BIG DICK! Cassidy and Gretchen know they can't help the officer and hurry away making it to the Underground tunnel. Behind them come Clem and a wave of zombies, far too much for the girls to handle! CASSIDY If I die tell Flynn I'm the hottest girl he'll ever bang and tell number two I'm the hottest corpse she'll ever lust after! Gretchen pulls Cassidy into the underground tunnel GRETCHEN You won't die! Gretchen pulls out a lighter and Cassidy knows exactly what to do! CASSIDY Ignitios Expresso! Suddenly a flicker of fire turns into a huge pyro wall that blocks Clem's zombie horde and the Delta house leaders are able to escape through the tunnel. Once outside in the alley, Cassidy pushes a dumpster over the ground exit to block it off. CASSIDY I think we're finished here. I'm going to go tell Donald to make me the Minister of Telling Fat Hookers Like It Is GRETCHEN'S Cassidy, might I just admit the truth to you. The fax received by the police station was that of forgery. I am responsible for freeing you from prison for your latest offense. These undead lummoxes threaten us all, and a Delta House in disorder shall fall swiftly to their front. Furthermore, though the sentiment may not be mutual I consider you a friend. And for to rot in jail next to Shante the crack head with nine children out of wedlock to eight different men is unthinkable to me. CASSIDY ….My reasons for staying with Delta Delta Delta are purely selfish. If I'm gonna survive this thing I need numbers to throw at the zombies. GRETCHEN There is strength in numbers and incredible strength in Delta House. CASSIDY Let's do it. FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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