Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD If hip-hop really is dead like Nas says, then the OAOAST and the Shop Boyz are pissing on the grave with Party Like a Rockstar. The club anthem booms along with the opening entrance video which features the characters in locations specific to their personality. Such as Jacob Cross slumped over a bar counter, Alix sunbathing on the beaches of Southern California, Simon in the locker room holding his trusty Siclopse, etc,etc, etc. When that ends we're see the logo.FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, The OAOAST, and The Bancorp Sotuh Arena it is time for HeldDOWN! "Getting Away With Murder" hits just as the clock hits (insert HeldDOWN~! posting time here), and the fans ERUPT as the OAOAST looks to start this post-School's Out edition of HeldDOWN~! off with a bang! COLE Welcome fans, to HeldDOWN~! I'm Michael Cole, alongside the Coach, and we are now welcoming the NEW World Heavyweight Champion! Zack steps out onto the ramp, dressed casually rather than for battle, with the OAOAST World Title slung over his shoulder. As the pyro showers down over him, Zack takes the belt in his hands and raises it over his head, drawing another loud reaction from the OAOAST fanbase before heading to the ring. COACH Back where it belongs, baby! Zack walks to the ring, slapping some eager fans' hands as he makes his way, and then hops into the ring to get a handshake, and the microphone, from Michael Buffer. The music fades out, but the crowd response does not, as they're more vocal than ever, chanting for their hero. "THANK YOU ZACK!" "THANK YOU ZACK!" "THANK YOU ZACK!" COLE Listen to the fans, Coach! They're thanking Zack for becoming World Champion once again! The honor and prestige of the OAOAST World Championship has now been restored! MALIBU Thank you! Thank you all. All I have to say is one thing...the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship is HOME! *crowd pops* MALIBU Now, I don't mean home just because it's around my waist again, although that's the best feeling in the world. I mean home because this belt once again signifies the honor, the commitment, the work ethic of not only myself, but for everyone standing behind that curtain right now. Whether they're my friend or my enemy, the people in that locker room back there give one hundred and ten percent each and every time they set foot out here, and they do it for YOU! So you should be thanking them, thank them for making the OAOAST what it is! What Drek Stone tried to do to this company, to this belt...he tried to destroy the honor and integrity of this company...he tried to destroy our morale, to tear us apart from the inside, and now, Drek Stone, YOU'RE the one on the outside looking in! You're a footnote, a memory, a bad turn of events that we're putting behind us now, because Zack Malibu is ONCE AGAIN the OAOAST World Champion! A FIGHTING World Champion. An HONORABLE World Champion. I won this belt for the guys in the back that bust their asses day in and day out. I'm not going to run from responsibility. I'm not going to milk my time at the top. I EARNED it, and I'm going to be a fighting champion for all those who have earned their spots. Guys like Bohemoth and Leon Rodez and Tha Puerto Rican and... "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH" COLE What!? COACH I think Zacky forgot one! All heads turn to the entrance way, Zack's included, as "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson powers through the audio system. Hands on hips, annoyed at the interruption, Zack glares as eventually the doors part and the boos ring out for Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix as he emerges onto the stage! Maddix tilts his head to the side as he stares into the crowd, feigning hurt that the crowd mercilessly boo his mere appearance before giving them a very clear 'up yours'. As Landon then makes his way towards the ring, we see Megan Skye following, proudly clutching the Money In The Bank contract in her hand. COACH Baton down the hatches Mikey! It looks like it's time to take this one to the bank! COLE That's a terrible pun. COACH Hey, that's what they pay me for. Into the ring climbs Landon, opening up his fancy Real Madrid training tracksuit top and flaunting the SWF World Heavyweight Title around his waist. Landon then enters the ring, motioning for Zack to calm down as he asks for a microphone from the floor. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Landon waits for a little decorum, Zack looking at him through narrow eyelids waiting for him to start talking. Neither seems to have much patience. MADDIX Well well, long-time no-see everyone! Glad to see you've all missed me so much in my absence. (rolls eyes) Anyway, thankfully, the absence is over. The waiting is over and Landon Maddix has returned... and for that, you all have this man to thank! Landon points to Zack, who's growing more and more impatient by the second. MADDIX I sense an air of relief around here all of a sudden. An air that's been missing recently from what I've seen. I've been paying close attention you see. Well, to the parts that matter that is. Not all of these Dancing Dragons and Environmental Activists and that crap, but the top of the mountain. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Title situation. And finally, the doom-clouds have moved away from the OAOAST. Because finally, the World Title has returned! Finally, there's a World Champion that... well, let's just say, finally there's a World Champion. Period. I may not like you Zack, but at least you exist. COLE Good point. MADDIX Now, as I'm sure you're all aware, I happen to be the SWF World Heavyweight Champion. Still. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX So here we are, two World Champions, live on HeldDOWN~! A perfect opportunity fo... ZACK Look, is this going anywhere? Cut off in his stride, Landon glares at Zack. MADDIX Haven't you ever heard of the saying, "You don't rush greatness"? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Yes, this is going somewhere Zack. You see, I've been over at the SWF, defending my title. Biding my time. Waiting, a little impatiently I might add, for the OAOAST's World Champion to show his face. Because, way back at AngleMania, I became "Dinero Del Señor En El Banco!" Or, for all of you gormless wonders sitting there with blank looks on your faces, "Mr. Money In The Bank". Megan, show them the contract. Doing her best 'Price Is Right extra' impression, Megan shows off the humble sheet of paper, with Landon adding the staged 'ohhs' and 'aahs' for posterity. MADDIX This guarantees me a shot at that OAOAST World Title whenever I so desire. And as I've been waiting to tell the holder of that belt for months now, I don't intend on sitting on this contract. I'm certainly not going to hang onto it until the last possible quarter of an hour of the contract's life to cash in like you did, oh no. The past month, I've been forced to sit on this thing because YOU didn't get the job done at AngleMania and the supposed World Champion didn't know how to combine wrestling stardom and mainstream popularity, like a certain SWF Champion not a million miles away. Well, I'm officially putting you on notice. Winning the OAOAST Title is my ticket to immortality. And it's a ticket I'm anxious to get... ZACK SO DO IT ALREADY!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" ZACK You're here, I'm here, we've got about a dozen referees in the back. You think you're frustrated with Drek not being around!? This title is MY legacy! MY ticket to immortality! And I'm not going to sit on this anymore than you're sitting on your contract. So, if you want me... Suddenly, Zack pulls off his t-shirt, sending the paramedics into 'high hysteria alert'. ZACK ...then I'm not hard to find! COLE Alright, here we go! COACH They're not seriously going to do this now, are they!? It certainly seems Zack is ready to go, dropping his microphone and encouraging Landon on... ...as he shakes his head. MADDIX Easy Rambo. We all know you're feeling high and mighty now you're the conquering hero of the OAOAST. But I think you've misread this situation. I mean... I'm ready and willing to cash this contract in, but... not TONIGHT. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX Come on Zack, you're not wet behind the ears when it comes to this World Title lark. You know as well as I do, me cashing this title in tonight is going to stop ol' AngleSault from cashing in big buyrates. No no, if I'm cashing this Money In The Bank in, I'm doing it when it's worth the most to me. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Over comes Megan, whispering something in Landon's ear. A big smile creeps over his face which he tries to wipe quickly, trying to put his poker face on as he stares Zack down again. MADDIX How about this Zack? How about, you and me, on the big stage? ZACK And what do you mean by that? MADDIX What I mean is, if you're really the fighting champion you're pledging to be, then I'm challenging you to prove it. I'm challenging you to defend that title against me at The Great Angle Bash! I'm cha... ZACK You're ON! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Woah! No hesitation whatsoever from Zack! Landon's smile re-appears as he and Megan exchange a look. Zack looks confused for a second, but shakes it off. MADDIX So, I take it you're accepting? ZACK Damn right! You want a shot, you've got it! MADDIX Well, that's all I needed to hear! You, me, D.C, I'll see you then. Probably best we leave the handshake for now. I'm more than happy to take you on your word... HAHA! Landon drops the mic and off he and Megan go, drawing another confused look from Zack. The SWF's Power Couple stroll off arm in arm looking mighty pleased with how that all went, not concerned that "Getting Away With Murder" has started up to allow Malibu to soak up a little more of his moment. COLE What a way to kick off HeldDOWN~! and what an announcement that is. First time ever, Zack Malibu one on one with Landon Maddix, live from our nation's capital at The Great Angle Bash 2007. We'll be back with more HeldDOWN~!, after these messages!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest, sanctioned by HI-YAH promotions, one fall with a 15 minute time limit and it is a return match for the tag team championship of the world! Under HI-YAH regulations throwing your opponent over the top rope or ramming them head-first into the steel guardrail or ring post is grounds for immediate disqualification. Now let’s meet the participants. First the challengers in tonight’s contest, from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, they are accompanied by MELODY NERDLY…”THE TEXAS TWISTER” JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS…THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” blares in the background as the Gunslingers jog to the ring, fists pumped and all smiles. Meanwhile, their pig-tailed, Daisy Duke short wearing manager Melody skips down the aisle with her arms out, causing some in the crowd to push and shove in hopes of making contact with their idol/fantasy. COLE The month of May began with a HI-YAH tag title match between the Lone Star Gunslingers and the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and it will end with one as well. As you heard Michael Buffer say, a return match from 4 weeks ago…HeldDOWN~! May 3rdThe Texas Twister develops a sense of urgency as Rico lifts him overhead, worming out of a body vice or attempted Moustache Ride and locks on… “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …THE IRON CLAW!! Amazingly, Rico manages to grab a side headlock out of sheer desperation but is quickly pushed off into the ropes. A notorious ladies’ man, even lady luck is charmed by Rico de Janeiro, the King of Mardi Gras somehow able to make the blind tag as he bounces off the near side and is driven into the mat courtesy of a real Texas BULLDOG by Jock Mulligan! Unaware of what has happened the Gunslinger complain to referee Charles Robinson, who does his best to explain the situation. Even Melody gets in on the act, jumping on the apron to protest. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The crowd reacts as Lucius sneaks inside with the tag title in hand. Soul believes he has a clear shot at Jock when… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …LOGAN MANN shows up and rips the belt out of his hands! LUCIUS Wagging his finger in Soul’s face Logan is blindsided by Rico. The crowd erupts again as SYNTH makes his presence felt, evening up the odds. As the bodies start to fly the referee notices the mayhem going on behind him and calls for the bell. COLE (CONT’D) …where the Gunslingers came 3 seconds away from dethroning the dynamic duo of Rico de Janeiro and “Sweet” Lucius Soul for the HI-YAH tag team championship. Fortunately for the Gunslingers, the Heavenly Rockers were there to watch their backs as the champions almost turned it ugly near the end. COACH I’d say unfortunately for the Lone Star Gunslingers, Cole. Because of the Heavenly Rockers interference they didn’t just lose the match, they lost the winner’s purse too. Even had they won via disqualification the Gunslingers would’ve earned a nice chunk of change for a hard night’s work, but the egomaniacs that the Heavenly Rockers are, they had to involve themselves someway, somehow. COLE Be that as it may, I happen to know for a fact -- because I deal with facts unlike some people I work with -- the Lone Star Gunslingers appreciate their newfound relationship with the Heavenly Rockers. It’s only been a few weeks but they’ve learned a great amount from Synth and Logan. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees The swagger, the ‘stache stroking, ‘fro pickin’…it’s all there as the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew appear in front of the thousands in attendance. Lucius holds the tag belt up to his face as he struts to the ring George Jefferson style, shaping his ‘fro while Rico de Janeiro can’t stop touching himself, caressing his hairy chest. BUFFER And their opponents, they are the REIGNING and DEFENDING HI-YAH tag team champions...RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And here come a couple of young men who wowed quite a few people with their outing this past Sunday night at School’s Out against the Heavenly Rockers. COACH They did what nobody, except myself of course, thought was possible and that’s hang in with the Heavenly Rockers. I heard people say it was going to be a squash, a total annihilation, but it was the other way around. Rico and Lucius owned the Heavenly Rockers in every way imaginable. They dominated. If not for Melody sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, the original decision would’ve stood. I bet Logan thanked her after the show. And by thank I mean bang. COLE All right, that’s enough. I’ve already had to apologize once for you, I’m not going to do it again. The wrestlers are set and the bell is officially sound. * DINGDINGDING * Baron Windels and Rico de Janeiro begin with a test of strength, and Rico impressively suplexes Baron overhead out of the knuckle lock. Windels charges to his feet and into a hip toss, but Rico goes to the well one too many times as Baron blocks a second hip toss attempt and counters with one of his own, followed by a dropkick and arm drag takedown. Rico tries to shake Baron loose, hip blocking him across the ring, but the Gunslinger shows the tenacity of a pit bull and holds on tight to the arm-bar. Frustrated by Baron’s death grip de Janeiro cocks his fist in clear view of the referee who warms him about it (closed fists are illegal in the sport of professional wrestling, you know). A man of the rules Rico decides against the punch and scoops Baron for a slam…but Windels rolls through in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… KICKOUT! Rico ducks a clothesline and nails Baron on the rebound with a HIGH KNEE! ONE… TWO… NO! Complaints of a slow count are quickly dismissed by the HI-YAH official signed to the match, meaning an actual Japanese person. COLE There may be a slight language barrier, but slapping your hands together in rapid motion is universally recognized. COACH Can somebody tell me why now? Why now is a HI-YAH official flown in to officiate a title defense? Aren’t the referees we have good enough? COLE Of course they are. But with the Lone Star Gunslingers involved, it’s a big match in Japan as they were wildly popular during there time in HI-YAH. COACH So in other words, the fix is in? The King of the Mardi Gras rams Baron into the knee of “Sweet” Lucius Soul and tags out. However, Rico stays in to hold Baron so Lucius can work the body over with an array of kicks and forearm shivers to the face. Together they whip Baron into the ropes…BLIND TAG…but the big Texan ducks an attempted double clothesline and leapfrogs Rico on the rebound, then along with Jock dropkick the Homewrecking Crew! “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody fires her imaginary pistols in the air, joining the crowd in their state of euphoria. Rico and Lucius, they‘re laid out on the arena floor. COLE The crowd is electric! They want to see the HI-YAH tag titles change hands. But don’t you change that channel. Our tag team title match resumes after the break!WILL THE CHAMPS BE “GUNNED” DOWN? HI-YAH Tag Team Title Bout The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew [Champions] Vs. The Lone Star Gunsliners [Challengers] COME ON BACK AND FIND OUT, YA HEAR? “Sweet” Lucius Soul and Jock Mulligan lockup as we return from break and Jock blocks Soul’s attempted cheap shot, catching the leg in midair before spinning Sweetness around and compressing his vertebrate with an ATOMIC DROP. Crotched mid-ring in a whole lotta pain Soul leaves himself exposed to a BANDIT KICK! ONE… TWO… But only two, as Jock rolls off and Rico drops a big elbow on his partner! The crowd ROARS in unison as the Gunslingers get them some of Rico de Janeiro. The King of the Mardi Gras rocked by a series of right hands and Cowboy Bebop bionic elbows. Jelly-legged, Rico is sent for the ride and leveled by a pair of FLYING SHOULDERBLOCKS! COLE Arkansas Toothpick! COACH Has it struck anybody how odd it is for two guys from Texas to use a move called an Arkansas Toothpick? Must be a Melody thing. The Gunslingers allotted 5 seconds are up and Baron must return to the corner. As the referee escorts him back Lucius forearms Jock in the upper back, knocking him through the ropes and to the ground. Rico quickly shakes off the cobwebs and rams the Texas Twister FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL GUARDRAIL… COLE That’s an automatic disqualification under HI-YAH rules, but the referee didn’t see it. …and then INTO THE RINGPOST! COLE And that’s another automatic disqualification right there! COACH Yeah, but like you said, the referee didn’t see it. And you can’t call what you didn’t see. Ha! Baron and Melody express a great deal of concern as they’re restrained by the referee. Melody on the verge of tears once Jock is rolled in a BLOODY MESS. COLE Oh, my. Oh, my, my. COACH Well, on the bright side, he hit a gusher. Get it? Gusher? Oil? Texas? COLE Now is not the time for jokes, Coach. Jock Mulligan is one of the finest young men you’ll ever meet and to see him in this state is…it’s horrible. COACH If it weren’t my job I wouldn’t want to come to…either. ONE… TWO… FOOT ON THE ROPE. Lucius targets the open wound, BITING and driving his fist into Jock’s forehead. Jock’s face continues to take a pounding as he and the sole of Rico’s boot are introduced violently. Rico happily accepts the tag from Lucius, stroking his porn ‘stache as he enters the ring and smashes his right forearm into the midsection of the Texas Twister. Rico pulls him out of the corner and delivers a gut wrench suplex, followed by a succession of elbow drops and the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Melody and Jock encourage the crowd to get behind Jock and it works. “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” Rico taunts the crowd after placing Jock in a debilitating neck vice, pretty much spiting in each and every fans face. “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” Nowhere to go Jock’s only escape is to GOUGE the eyes of Rico de Janeiro! COLE Well, that’s one way to get it done, even if it’s not legal. Lucius sprints across the ring and knocks Baron off the apron to prevent any chance of a tag, drawing him inside, thus allowing the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew to isolate Jock near their corner. Yet another tag is made by the champions and Lucius makes quite a splash from the apron…a SLINGSHOT 450 SPLASH! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! FOOT ON THE ROPE. COACH Jock’s operating on instincts now, Cole. The second time tonight he’s been saved by the ropes. Soul whips Jock into the corner and hits the SOUL BROTHER (360 STINGER) SPLASH! Jock can barely stand as he stumbles out towards the center of the ring and right in the direction of a POUNCE…that’s lands him near his corner, allowing Baron to TAG HIMSELF IN! LUCIUS “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE I don’t think that’s what Lucius had in mind. Baron uses his long legs to kick Soul in the gut, hammer him across the back of the neck with a judo chop and land a big right hand. Enter Rico, who Baron casually flips over his shoulder in a backdrop. It’s 2 on 1 for the time being and Baron does more than hold his own, he kicks ass. Soul and de Janeiro both receive a pair of Cowboy Bebop elbows and a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Rico is sent flying out of the ring courtesy of a BIG BOOT, while a FLYING LARIAT decks Lucius! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron scoops Lucius up for the Devil’s Addition, his fall away slam maneuver…but Lucius lands on his feet and stuns him with a SWINGING DDT out of nowhere! ONE… TWO… THREE! NO! KICKOUT!! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Damnit, I thought he had them! This is a helluva match, Cole. COLE And you’re seeing it on Thursday night’s one number rated program. Forearm shivers and kicks to the legs and body rattle the 6’7” Texan, who is then fired into the buckle. But he gets the BOOT up as Lucius charges in, sending him staggering out of the corner and in perfect position for a BULLDOG!! COLE Bulldog! He got him with the bulldog! We’re gonna have new champions! Desperate times call for desperate measures, and sensing their tag titles are in trouble Rico reaches into his bag of sleazy tricks, grabbing one of the tag belts from the timekeeper’s table. With Melody occupied with the welfare of Jock, Rico has a clear shot at Baron. He slithers inside the ring like the snake in the grass that he is… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ONE… TWO… THR-- …and is WALLOPED between the eyes by a LOGAN MANN RUNNING AXEHANDLE SMASH!!! * DINGDINGDING * Logan mounts on top of Rico just as he did Sunday night at hammers away. COACH I told you, Cole. This guy is an egomaniac. What business does he have out here? COLE Protecting a friend. COACH And I think he just cost them the tag titles again. With friends like that... The arena falls in a hush silence as Baron yanks Logan off of Rico and gives him a mouthful. Logan doesn’t even bother to explain himself and walks away, but Baron brings him back face to face which doesn‘t go over well with Mann. Tensions really rise as the two butt heads. Still on the ground just feet away is Rico, a look of shock on his face as he watches the second coming of the Mega Powers about to explode. He quietly sneaks out and heads for higher ground along with Lucius. They want no part of what may happen. Meanwhile, Melody reassumes her role as peacemaker but neither side wants to hear of her “make love, not war” garbage, even though that’s more of a COD thing but she doesn’t want to see friends fight. COLE What in the world is going on? These guys are ready to tear at each other’s throats. “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd reacts as HOLLY-WOOD and SYNTH make their way to the ring. But Synth isn’t there to defuse the situation, he tries to ignite it, shoving Baron who retaliates in kind. Lost in the mayhem is Jock Mulligan. At least EMTs are there checking on him. OAOAST officials soon follow. They assist Jock and get between the Heavenly Rockers and Baron. Melody can be heard apologizing to Holly and asking if they’re still friends. Holly just wants to calm her man. COLE An explosive situation to say the least. One that may be the direct result of what my broadcast colleague pointed out, and that’s the Heavenly Rockers cost the Lone Star Gunslingers the HI-YAH tag team championship yet again. While I firmly believe there was no ill intent involved, I can understand Baron’s feelings. COACH They had the match won. I’m as big a supporter of the MGHWC as you’ll find, but even I have to admit they were fortunate to retain their titles here tonight. But for now let's turn it over to Josh Matthews. Josh? We go backstage where Josh Matthews is standing by with Jacob Cross.) JOSH I'm backstage with Jacob Cross the newcomer to the OAOAST. As of late you've been on a tear in that ring, even earning yourself a 24/7 title shot. Unfortunately you were unsuccessful last week in capturing that title due to questionable tactics on the part of Cuban Wall. What are your thoughts one week removed from that match? CROSS What are my thoughts? My thoughts are live and learn. I'm not going to come out here and whine about getting punched in the junk in front of all the fans. I'm not going to whine about getting pinned in the middle of the ring. I've cut my share of corners during my time and I say do what you have to do to win. JOSH So you are not looking for a rematch against Wall? CROSS I figure the higher ups gave me that shot just to see what I was made of. I'm not naive enough to think that I will get another one so quickly. The best thing to do is to look ahead and not back. Never look back Josh. What's done is done and what's behind you is behind you. JOSH Great words of wisdom from Jacob Cross. CROSS Well it's like my Dad used to say.... WHO GIVES A CRAP WHAT HE SAID!!! (Cross and Matthews turn quickly to see Vitamin X heading into view followed by Cuban Wall.) VITAMIN X No one wants to hear the ramblings of an old drunk. No one wants to hear about how you're “on a tear” as of late, especially when you lost last week! BOOOOOOO!!!!! VITAMIN X You are pathetic. You sit back here and talk about moving on and “what's done is done”, but that's just because you want everyone to forget that you choked when the chips were down. (Vitamin X grins at Wall over the poker reference he made to Jacob Cross.) CROSS Alright. I admit I underestimated Cuban Wall and paid for it, but I've got a lot more matches left in my career so there's no use worrying about one loss. VITAMIN X No no no I want you to admit right here in front of everyone that you not only choked, but you got your ass handed to you by a better man! (Cross folds his arms and stares at Vitamin X without saying a word.) VITAMIN X Alright I see how it's going to be. Need I remind you that you and I have a match later tonight? Maybe then we can show you how to properly respect your superiors! CROSS I'll be sure to remember that when I meet one. VITAMIN X You just don't get it do you? I realize you are new here, but around here the Lightning Crew demands respect! Come on Wall let's let the cowboy think about that for awhile. (Vitamin X and Cuban Wall walk away leaving Cross to fume to himself as Josh Matthews looks shocked.) COLE Folks, HeldDOWN returns with The X Man against Cross, and CPA against Shayne Brave in twelve rounds of boxing. Yes, that's right. Boxing. Stay tuned.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 The lights go down in the arena. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation. COLE What the--? What's going on now? COACH I don't know, but I'm scared! Suddenly, Gregorian chants start playing over the P.A. system. Smoke fills the entrance stage. The crowd is puzzled. COLE This is eerie, Coach. COACH You can say that again. COLE This is eerie, Coach. COACH Shut up. *BONG!* *BONG!* *BONG!* *BONG!* The funeral march now plays, better known as The Undertaker's theme song. COLE What is going on here!? COACH It looks like we're having a funeral! COLE A FUNERAL!? For whom!? A blue light shines on the entrance stage. The entrance doors slide open, and out from the smoke come four Druids carrying a white casket. Two of the Druids are much bigger than the other two. COLE My God. It's...a casket! Being wheeled to the ring by Druids! COACH This is certainly something we don't see in the OAOAST every week! COLE Yeah. (Thank Goodness) The white casket has been spray-painted with numerous Lightning Crew propaganda: "P.R. RULZ", "PRT 9:12", "LIGHTNING CREW 4-LIFE", "BOHEMOTH SUX", "PRL IS GOD", "LC > OAOAST", and "WE ARE IN CONTROL!" Following the casket and the Druids is Stephen Joseph Popick, wearing sunglasses and a black suit and tie ensemble. Next to him is a woman wearing a veil over her head in addition to a black sports jacket, a white dress shirt, white gloves, a black mini-skirt, and black heels. COLE Wait a minute? Popick? A spray-painted casket? What is going on here!? COACH Something mighty interesting, Cole! COLE Why do I get the feeling this is leading to something I won't like? COACH Because you're a negative Nancy, that's why! The Funeral March continues playing as the casket is wheeled to ringside. The woman uses a napkin to wipe tears from her eyes. Popick consoles her. The Druids slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) wheel the spray-painted white casket next to the ring. COLE This is a bizarre scene as we begin the second hour of HeldDOWN~!. The two smaller Druids walk over and bow their heads before the casket. Then, one of them opens the top of the casket... and THA PUERTO RICAN pops right up from inside the casket laughing manically like the Cryptkeeper from Tales From The Crypt! COLE I knew it! COACH PR is here! And he's alive! The Funeral March is immediately replaced with "Know Your Role '99"! The lights go back on inside the arena. The crowd boos loudly. The two big Druids help PRL out of the white casket, and then remove their hoods to reveal CUBAN WALL and MR. BORICUA! The two smaller Druids remove their hoods to reveal THOMAS RODRIGUEZ and THE BONE THUG. All four men remove the Druid outfits. PRL taunts the fans at ringside and then walks with a cocky swagger up the ring steps. Popick removes his sunglasses and applauds his client. COLE This is just another Lightning Crew charade! Tha Puerto Rican, rubbing it in the fans' faces that he's still standing after the BRUTAL Hell In A Cell Match last Sunday at School's Out! COACH He proved EVERYBODY wrong, Michael! EVERYBODY thought PRL was dead meat! EVERYBODY thought last Sunday was the final match of Tha Puerto Rican's career! But they were PROVEN WRONG! They were WRONG! PRL should celebrate! He surprised EV-VER-RE-BO-DY! COLE I guess Tha Puerto Rican has a right to celebrate... COACH He sure does. COLE But he needed some help last Sunday to beat Bohemoth. Namely, he had to have Vitamin X dress up as Caboose in order to win! COACH Eh, that's all schematics. Anything goes in a Hell In A Cell Match remember? The important thing is that PRL had his hand raised last Sunday night, and NOT Bohemoth! Stephen Joseph Popick holds the ropes for Tha Puerto Rican to enter the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans' boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. He does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. PRL laughs manically some more. He is wearing a bandage around his head and is wearing sunglasses this time to hide the fact that both his eyes are black and blue. He's also dressed in a black suit and tie ensemble in addition to his usual $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist and engagement ring on his right ring finger. COACH Look at him! So brave, so strong. He went through HELL last Sunday, and yet, four days later he has decided to grace us with his presence. Really, he shouldn't have! COLE Yes. He REALLY SHOULDN'T have! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick all enter the ring in their usual attire, except for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who STRIPS...to reveal a red Rancid tank top with the right strap cut off to reveal a black bra strap, a gold necklace, an engagement ring on her right ring finger, and an even SHORTER skirt, this one denim blue with purple stars drawn on it. Lindsay hands PRL the black spray-painted briefcase with *his* Golden Contract still inside. PRL kisses Lindsay and then goes to get a microphone. COACH And he gets to go home to *that* every night! Wow, PRL is a lucky guy right now! COLE As much as it pains me to say it, he is on top of the world right now. Two big victories took place at School's Out last Sunday. Zack's, obviously, but also Tha Puerto Rican's. And not only that, but Bohemoth suffered a concussion thanks to the cricket bat to the head and will be out of action indefinitely! COACH HA HA! That's great to hear! COLE Not so great for Bohemoth. COACH Well, DUH! But great for Tha Puerto Rican! He has taken down another OAOAST superstar, and STILL is in possession of the Golden Contract! What a great time it is to be Tha Puerto Rican! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! THE CHAMP...IS...ALIVE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Hallelujah! "Know Your Role '99" dies down. But the crowd is still booing. PRL smiles evilly. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick all watch with evil grins on their faces. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" THA PUERTO RICAN Now, now, now. Settle down. Settle down. Now, I hate to say 'I told you so', but...I TOLD YOU SO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL I told you all that I would live to fight another day! I told you all that I would STILL be the Man With The Golden Contract. I TOLD YOU ALL that Bohemoth would DIE, and guess what? I DID EVERYTHING I SAID I WOULD DO! COLE Well, he did 2 of those things. COACH Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT'D) I stand before you today STILL YOUR Corporate Champion! I stand before you today STILL the holder of The Golden Contract! And most importantly, I simply stand before you today, NOT Bohemoth! The crowd boos viciously. PRL smirks. "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" THA PUERTO RICAN Go on. Keep booing me. I live off of making you guys pissed off! The booing gets LOUDER. A "P.R. SUCKS" chant breaks out. COLE The hatred these fans feel for Tha Puerto Rican is amazing! COACH It's a bit unhealthy too. Seriously, these fans need some anger management! PRL It was supposed to be my day of reckoning! It was supposed to be my judgment day! It was supposed to be My Last Stand! But in life, what's *supposed* to happen, and what *does* happen sometimes don't always match up! Last Sunday, when you all sat down in your trailer parks and watched School's Out, I know you were all hoping that you were watching my retirement match, weren't you? "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL Yeah, I thought so. And you were all hoping that Bohemoth would rip me apart limb from limb right? "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL Yep. I'm sure you were. And while it's true that I did not leave that match unscathed, all it takes is a little elbow grease and some plastic surgery, and I'll be back to 100% in no time! PRL smiles, revealing that he somehow has gotten back the two front teeth that he lost on Sunday. COLE Are those...fake teeth? COACH So what if they are? You think P.R. would go through life like that? COLE They're still fake, Coach. COACH IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY'RE FAKE! They're there, and that's that! Now let us never speak of them again. PR I had my doubts, I admit it. I was a bit scared, a bit worried that I would be hurt in this match. That I would have several broken bones. That I would not be around for my own wedding. And yes, I got the HELL beaten out of me by Bohemoth. I got hurt. Hell, I fell off the Cell through a BARRICADE for Christ's sake! It was the most dangerous, violent, brutal match I've ever had. I went through HELL last Sunday night! But you know what...I SURVIVED! That's right! I...SUR-VIVED! I I came out of that match ALIVE! I got out of that Cell as the winner, NOT the loser! And I am standing on my own two feet tonight in front of all you pieces of trailer park trash, while Bohemoth sits in a hospital bed somewhere in Houston a LO-SER! COACH PR is speaking the truth! He is not lying! Not at all! Everything he says is TRUE! COLE Yes. Yes. I know! Don't remind me! "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" Tha Puerto Rican chuckles. THA PUERTO RICAN Ask your mother, sister, niece, and grandmother how much I SUCK! COLE Grandmother? COACH P.R. likes the boomin' grannies with big old panties. THA PUERTO RICAN I can now add the Hell In A Cell to my list of accomplishments in addition to being a 3-time Puerto Rican Champion! A former North American Champion! A former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion! The greatest X-Division Champion EVER! AND the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history! I am a GOD in the squared circle and a Casanova in the bedroom! (PRL winks at Lindsay. Lindsay blushes.) PRL I am the greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all-time! Even my friend, "Tito" Trinidad says I'm better than him, and he's a freakin' boxing LEGEND! I am the controller of my own destiny and right now things couldn't have been better. In short, I RULE. YOU SUCK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH I'm not worthy! "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" PRL Bohemoth? BOHEMOTH!? THERE'S one name you won't be hearing for a while! The crowd boos. PRL laughs. TPR Last Sunday, Bohemoth was added to my list. I have taken out yet ANOTHER OAOAST superstar, yet ANOTHER one of your 'heroes'! I have beaten each and every person the OAOAST has thrown at me. You set them up, and I knock 'em down! And Bohemoth joined the illustrious list last Sunday night at School's Out! Bohemoth joined the list that includes such names as Naz Mistry. "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR K-NESS. "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR "Shooter" Jay Darring. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR Panther. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR D*LUX. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR John "Rock Hard" Brickston. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR The Mad Cappa. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR Colombian Heat. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR And Leon Rodez. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR I have beaten each...and...every one of them, MORE THAN ONCE in some cases! And now, Bohemoth has joined that PRESTIGIOUS CORPORATE list! I have taken down the people you love! I have laid to waste the people you root for! I have slay the people whose names you chant! I have done all of that, and yet you people STILL don't give me the respect I deserve! You people STILL boo me! You people STILL throw stuff at me! You shouldn't be doing that crap! Each and every one of you idiots should be standing up right now, and chanting my name! 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' P.R.'s "P.R.!" chant morphs into another "P.R. SUCKS!" chant. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" P.R. sneers at the crowd. The Lightning Crew and Popick sneer with him. COACH No respect. He gets no respect! COLE Maybe if he earned it. COACH What more must he do? COLE Maybe win fairly once in a while. THA PUERTO RICAN You see, that's why I'm going to continue making your lives a living HELL! "BOO!" "HISS!" "BOO!" "HISS!" PRL Now, I must give credit where credit is due. I did not win this match all by myself last Sunday. No, I had some help. Some very good CORPORATE help! So now, it is my honor to introduce to you, the Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew (The boos start), the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew (The boos grow), my right hand man (Louder) and my BEST FRIEND, The Prince of The Lightning Crew, Prince Vitamin, VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. The crowd boos loudly. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entrance ramp. The entrance doors slide open, and Vitamin X comes out, accompanied by Princess Stacey of The Lightning Crew. X is wearing a blue collared shirt, a gold chain around his neck, a dark blue sports jacket, a $500 Rolex watch around his right wrist, sunglasses, blue jeans with a leather belt, and black workman boots. Princess Stacey is wearing a blue blouse with white trimming, blue jeans, a necklace with her name on it, gold bracelets around her wrists, black heel shoes, and of course, her tiara. VX walks down the entrance ramp with a smile on his face, his right arm hooked with Princess Stacey's right arm. COLE There's the man who turned the tide for Tha Puerto Rican last Sunday! COACH The X-Man made his return, and all is right with the world again! COLE I can't believe we all thought Caboose would be the one that beat up Bohemoth last Sunday! COACH Well...it's not like Caboose has been a saint in the past! COLE Coach, he changed! For the better! I can't believe I was almost fooled by the damn Lightning Crew! COACH It's happened more than once, Cole. You know it. VX warns a fan to keep his hands away from Princess Stacey. He and Stacey walk up the ring steps. COLE Vitamin X hadn't been seen since OAOAST Syndicated last month, and then he makes his return disguised as Caboose! Nobody saw that coming! COACH Which is why it WORKED, Cole! Vitamin X did a BRILLIANT thing last Sunday which will be talked about for years to come! VX gets onto a second turnbuckle and crosses his arms into an X. He then jumps off the turnbuckle into the ring. Vitamin X holds the ropes for Princess Stacey to enter the ring. Vitamin X gives PRL a big hug. The two compatriots smile evilly at each other. THA PUERTO RICAN GIVE THIS MAN A ROUND OF APPLAUSE! "YOU SUCK X!" shouts one drunken fan. PRL does the "We're Not Worthy" bow at X. Prince Vitamin blushes. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. PRL Thanks in part to this man, I am here tonight! X, you did your boss proud. Excellent job! P.R. shakes X's right hand. VX takes the microphone. VITAMIN X Thank you, boss. You know, we all showed the world, we all showed them, that SIZE DOESN'T MATTER! Am I right, P? HA HA HA HA HA! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Vitamin X hands the microphone back to PRL. X puts his left arm around Stacey's shoulders. THA PUERTO RICAN Good luck later tonight. Now, the question on everybody's mind is: what's next? And quite frankly, that is a good question. Because after what I went through last Sunday, it makes you wonder just what I can do to top it. Well, don't worry Lightning Bolts, because I know just how I will top the Hell In A Cell! You see, while I was getting pummeled by Bohemoth last Sunday night, several thoughts went through my head. One of them was 'Oh God, I hope I don't crap my tights!' The other was 'Wow. I am going to die!' And that thought made me think about something else. That life is short. It goes by too fast. One minute, you're a baby, the next minute, you're in an old folks home. What you had yesterday could be gone today. And my Golden Contract could have disappeared last Sunday at School's Out! The title shot I WORKED MY ASS OFF for could have been destroyed. My one guaranteed Title shot that's been in my hands since August of last year could have been taken away and given to Bohemoth! All because I sat idly by and let time fly without cashing it in. Well, oh no, OH NO, I am NOT going to sit idly by no longer! Oh Hell to the no! This Golden Contract, this ticket to the top, this gateway to my future, is not going to be collecting dust anymore! No, starting now, I am making a statement! The Golden Contract WILL be used by the end of the year! People have been asking me ever since August when I was going to cash it in. And I kept saying, 'When the time is right'. The time IS right! After all these years, things are FINALLY starting to go my way! So that is why I am ready to cash in my guaranteed World Title shot ASAP! I have done it all! Except one thing. One thing that has been eating at me ever since I came to the One And Only AngleSault Thread. One thing that has alluded me my entire career! Well, I am going to get that one thing and show the world just how great I really am! If you want something to happen, don't wait for it to happen, MAKE IT HAPPEN! It is time for me to lay waste to another hero. And this time, it is the biggest hero of them all! Tha Puerto Rican raises the black spray-painted briefcase over his head. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez removes his sunglasses so that the fans can get a good look at his black and blue eyes. He has a serious look on his face. Popick holds the mic underneath his lips. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Zack Malibu...I'M COMING FOR YOU! "Know Your Role '99" begins playing again. Lindsay puts PRL's sunglasses back on. PRL grabs the black spray-painted briefcase and stares at the crowd. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has thrown down the gauntlet! He is gunning for Zack Malibu's World Heavyweight Title! COACH First Landon, now P.R.? Everybody wants a Title shot now! COLE Well, Zack said he was going to be a fighting Champion! Looks like the challengers are already lining up! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick leave the ring. Popick holds the ropes for Lindsay, and then Lindsay holds the ropes for PRL. Princess Stacey holds the ropes for Vitamin X. X and P.R. talk while putting their arms around their respective ladies' shoulders. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has held the Golden Contract since August 17, 2006, since 9 months ago. And it looks like he doesn't want to wait any longer to cash it in! COACH Good for PR, I say! He's the best wrestler to never wear the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Now he can change that! COLE We'll have to wait and see *when* exactly P.R. will cash in his Title shot, but the fact of the matter is Tha Puerto Rican doesn't want to wait much longer to get another shot at becoming OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH I can feel it. He's gonna do it this time. He's going to win the World Title when he cashes in his Golden Contract! I can feel it! His time is near! The Lightning Era is about to begin in the OAOAST! COLE After last Sunday, anything is possible. Folks we'll be right back after this with Vitamin X and Jacob Cross and a boxing match between CPA and Shayne Brave! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican walks up the entrance ramp carrying his black spray-painted briefcase with his Golden Contract inside. He stops to taunt a fan, but then continues onto the entrance stage. The rest of The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick follow him. "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system while the crowd boos.FADE OUTCOMMERCIALSIt has been the foundation of the OAOASTIt has revitalized careers and created legendsIt has unleashed a bevy of outrageous characters upon an unsuspecting world And now it is your's to own on DVD in Cult Of Personality: The Story of the OAOAST tag division Featuring:***Twenty two unedited matches, including never before seen footage of GPX, Black T, and The Sooner Bruisers.***A two and a half hour documentary, including interviews from Ned Blanchard.... BLANCHARD Let's get this out in the open, before Simon and I came along the Midnight Express name was totally dead. Today's fans didn't even have a clue who or what The Midnight Express was until me and brother Simon brought it back. If the Midnight Express name has any kind of esteem or respect to it now, it's solely because of us. We took it out of the grave and gave it life. For that, sports entertainment is in my debt. I mean our debt. Mostly mine, but Simon, he helped out alright.Alix Spezia.... ALIX Krista and I aren't the LGBT version of Lucy and Desi, we get into crazy arguments. I think I should be treated like a princess, but she thinks she should be treated like Marie Antoinette. Sometimes, she can be super snobbish. Like, okay, one time we were in Saint Louie, and she's all like “Hey, let's go to California Pizza kitchen, it'll remind of us home.” And when we get there, do ya know what she orders? Hawaiian Pizza! Good ol fashioned American pizza isn't good enough for her highness. Oh no! Ol dutchess of york over there, has to dine on pizzas from exotic countries like Hawaii. Ooooooooh, how lovely for her eminence, thank you for letting a wee pauper such as myself feast upon your delectable delicacies. Oh thank you, sweet mother! Thank you! Psh, whatever.Cult Of Personality: The Story of the OAOAST tag division Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 We return to the sold out arena with our view focused on one Mister Buffer BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen this next match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. “Wherever I may Roam” by Metallica begins to play and the fans stand and cheer as the doors slide open and Jacob Cross walks out onto the stage. His cowboy hat shields his face from the bright lights, making it hard to discern the look on it. He glances around the arena, taking in the sight of all the fans around him and slowly he walks to the ring. COLE After the words Vitamin X had earlier I wouldn't blame Cross for being a little upset. COACH I'm surprised Vitamin X could stand that close to him. I figured the alcohol smell would be near toxic. COLE Don't even start tonight! Cross circles the ring with his eyes focused in front of him, his mind racing over what Vitamin X said before. He takes off his hat and necklace before entering the ring and leaning in the corner to wait for Vitamin X. BUFFER Introducing first. From wherever he may roam, weighing in at 225 pounds....THE DRIFTER...JACOB CROSS!!!! YEAHHHH!!!!!! COLE Cross is focused as always, but I sense a bit of anger in him. COACH Sense a bit of anger??? What are you a jedi?? The music dies down and is replaced by the sound of a cash register opening up and Vitamin X saying, “Come and take your Vitamin X!” “Bling Bling” by the B.G. Featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys begins to play. BOOOOOOO!!!!! COLE Vitamin X says he's out here tonight to teach Cross some respect yet he never shows respect to anyone around here besides maybe Tha Puerto Rican and the rest of the Lightning Crew. COACH He doesn't have to. No one around here is worth respecting! COLE So he shouldn't even respect you? COACH Well I meant as far as wrestlers. Vitamin does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle out onto the stage and moves to the beat of the music as Cuban Wall follows him through the sliding door. He argues with a few fans on the way to the ring before entering and posing on the turnbuckles with his arms in the form of a X. BUFFER Introducing next. From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 248 pounds, THE X MAN....VITAMIN X!!!!!! BOOOOOOOO!!!!! Vitamin hops down off the turnbuckles and stares at Cross. Cuban Wall exits the ring as the ref warns him to keep his hands to himself during the match. *DING DING DING* COLE Here we go. The two men lock up quick and Cross drives Vitamin quickly into the corner. He then tries to hip toss Vitamin out, but Vitamin reverses and goes for a hip toss of his own. Cross blocks the attempt and nails Vitamin with a hard clothesline that sends him to the mat hard. Vitamin is up quick and looks stunned. The two of them lock up again and this time Vitamin is able to quickly lock in an arm wringer. He then twists Jacob's wrist around to add pain to the hold. Vitamin looks pleased with himself until Jacob twists out and locks in an arm wringer of his own. COLE He got too cocky and had the hold reversed on him! COACH Oh you just love that don't you Cole!? Vitamin flips his way out and pulls Cross into a side headlock, but Cross shoves him off into the ropes. As Vitamin bounces back Cross knocks him down with a shoulderblock. Vitamin is up quick again and lays a chop in to Jacob's chest before Cross knows what hit him. Cross is stunned for a second before firing back with his own chop. Back and forth the two of them trade chops, with each one getting more and more violent. COLE It's a chop off!! COACH A what!? Finally Cross chops Vitamin so hard he is knocked to the mat, but he's up quickly and goes for a right hand to the face. Jacob blocks the punch and fires off a flurry that drives Vitamin into the ropes where Jacob then whips him across the ring. As Vitamin bounces off Cross nails him with a Flying Shoulderblock and goes for a cover. 1 No!! COLE Only a one count after a brutal shoulderblock! COACH It's okay the match is still young. COLE Oh that's a relief. Cross pulls Vitamin to his feet as he stands and goes to whip him to the ropes again, but Vitamin reverses the whip. Vitamin goes for a clothesline as Jacob bounces back, but Jacob ducks and hits the ropes on the other side. Cross is back before Vitamin turns around and Vitamin gets nailed by a bulldog! Cross goes for another cover. 1 No!! COLE So far Cross is in control. COACH Vitamin X is just looking for his opening that's all. Cuban Wall cheers Vitamin on from the outside as Jacob pulls Vitamin to his feet and hooks him for a brainbuster. Vitamin blocks the move and fires off desperation punches to Jacob's face. Cross finally breaks the hold and Vitamin backs up as Cross looks a little dazed. Vitamin then plows through Cross with a spear and a cover! COLE What a spear by Vitamin X! COACH Finally you show him respect! 1 2 No!! COLE That's not enough! Vitamin wastes no time in laying the stomps in to Jacob's body while he lays on the mat. He then pulls Jacob to his feet and whips him hard into the corner. Jacob hits hard and Vitamin comes in with fast kicks to Jacob's midsection. He then whips Jacob into the far corner where he hits hard and then bounces out towards Vitamin X. Vitamin meets him with a series of three jabs to the face followed by the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle and one last punch...that Jacob blocks. COACH Whoa! I've never seen anyone block that last punch! COLE Now here goes Cross with his own punches! Cross fires off a flurry of punches himself and then winds up for the One for the Road, but just like Cross did Vitamin blocks the last punch. Vitamin then kicks Cross in the gut and bounces off the ropes behind him. He comes off with a moonsault into what should be a DDT to finish off the X Spot, but Jacob catches Vitamin. He then tosses him off onto the top rope for a Hot Shot, but Vitamin lands gut first across the rope and falls to the mat in pain. COLE Those ropes hurt when you land on them like that! COACH Oh how would you know!? Cross sees his opening and quickly lands a few stomps to the midsection of Vitamin X. He then pulls him to his feet and whips him across the ring, but as he goes to run after him he finds that someone is holding on to his foot. COLE Oh come on ref Cuban Wall just tried to trip up Cross!! COACH No no his shoe was untied he was just trying to help him out!! COLE During a match!? Cross diverts his attention to Wall long enough for Vitamin to sneak attack him. Vitamin runs up and plants a knee to Jacob's back that sends him flying through the ropes and to the floor! COLE Cross goes flying to the ground outside the ring! The ref quickly tells Wall to keep his distance and Wall throws his arms up in innocence. Vitamin waits for Cross to stand before nailing a slingshot plancha onto Cross! Cross is back down on the floor as the fans let Vitamin have it when he walks near the security barrier. COACH Who's in control now Michael!? Vitamin throws his arms up in the form of a X and taunts the fans for a second before pulling Cross up and whipping him hard into the ring steps, which shift upon impact. He then grabs Cross and tosses him back into the ring before following close behind. COLE Vitamin has taken control with the help of Cuban Wall. He doesn't need to be out here!! COACH I don't know what you're talking about Cole. He's been perfectly fine! Vitamin tries once again for a flurry of three punches to the face, a Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and one last punch that knocks Cross to the mat. 1 2 No!!! COLE Not that's not enough! Cross is back up just in time to receive a kick to the gut from Vitamin. Vitamin then sets him up for a snap suplex and hits it. He then makes another cover. 1 2 No!! COLE Still just a two count. He'll have to do better than that! Before Cross can even get up Vitamin drops a succession of three elbows to his chest. He then makes another cover. 1 2 No!!! COLE He knows that is not going to be enough. COACH You never know Cole. Stranger things have happened! Vitamin then turns Cross over and goes for the Lethal Injection (Modified STF), but Cross quickly scrambles and grabs the bottom rope. Vitamin holds on for a count of 4 and then lets go and stands up. COLE If Cross didn't make it to the ropes this could have been over. COACH It should have been over. Cross should have just tapped out the second Vitamin touched him and save himself the embarrassment! Vitamin pulls Cross back into the center of the ring and reaches down for him, but Cross grabs him for a small package. 1 2 No!! COLE Almost!! Cross got him by surprise! COACH How lame would that be to be beaten by a small package!? COLE What's that you say? I can't hear over the crowd I swore you said you like to beat your small package. COACH Oh come on that's not even funny!!! Vitamin is actually up before Cross and he catches him as he stands. He quickly lifts him onto his shoulders for the X-Clamation, but Cross, out of nowhere, pulls him back down into a crucifix pin! YEAHHHHH!!!! 1 2 3!! No!!! Vitamin kicks out! COLE What a reversal! COACH He pulled the tights! COLE Can't you think of a more original excuse?? Both men are up at the same time and Cross quickly moves in for a STO that takes Vitamin down hard! He then goes for a cover. 1 2 3!! No!! Vitamin kicks out again! COLE These desperation moves are not getting the job done. Cross needs to catch his breath. Cross and Vitamin X lay on the mat catching a breather as the ref begins to count. 1...2....3....4...5....Cross starts to get up...6....7...Vitamin X starts to get up....8...Cross is up and grabs Vitamin to whip him across the ring. As he bounces back Cross grabs him and nails the twisting spinebuster! COLE What a vicious spinebuster! Cover!! 1 2 3!! No!! Vitamin still kicks out! COACH That's right. He's not out yet!! Cross gets up and waves Vitamin on and as Vitamin stands Cross begins the punch flurry to his body. After stunning him with a few punches Cross winds up and knocks him down with One for the Road! Cross then backs into the corner and climbs onto the second turnbuckle before coming off with a legdrop! However, Vitamin somehow rolls out of the way at the last second and Jacob hits nothing but mat. Both men are on the mat again, but slowly Vitamin pulls himself towards the ropes. COLE I can't believe he moved after getting knocked down like that! COACH Then you don't know Vitamin X very well Cole. Vitamin pulls himself up and shakes out the cobwebs while waiting for Jacob to stand. When he does Vitamin kicks him in the gut and bounces off the ropes behind Cross with a moonsault....but as he flips over Jacob nails him with a kick to the gut that knocks him right down to the mat!! COLE Cross just kicked Vitamin X right out of the air!! COACH Oh damn!!! Cross then pulls Vitamin X up and sets him up for the Tumbleweed (Exploder Powerslam). COLE This could be it!!! Cross readies himself, but he never gets the chance as Cuban Wall rushes in and blasts Cross in the back of the head with a forearm and the ref calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE Dammit!!! COACH He should have listened to them and showed some respect!! Wall then pulls Cross off of Vitamin and plants him with the Wallbreaker in the middle of the ring. While this takes place Vitamin X climbs the turnbuckles and comes off with the Leap of Faith! COLE Come on ref do something about this!! BOOOOOOOO!!!!! The ref tries to stop it, but Wall shoves him to the mat and threatens more before the ref slides out to the floor. Wall and Vitamin X survey the damage with grins on their faces and then both men lay in the boots to Jacob Cross. COLE This is disrespectful. How can they demand respect and then act like this!? COACH I told you Cole Cross disrespected them first...they're just teaching him a lesson! To add the final insult Vitamin X pulls Cross up and lifts him for the X-Clamation and nails it. Wall and Vitamin finally leave the ring with their arms in the air in the form of a X. BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! BUFFER Your winner by way of disqualification....JACOB CROS!!!!! COACH He's not much of a winner right now! Wall and Vitamin smile all the way up the ramp and through the sliding doors as Cross finally stirs in the ring. The camera gets a close up shot of his face full of rage as he struggles to pull himself up by the ropes. COLE What a despicable display. COACH Waaaaah waaaaah. I'm not gonna waste my time feeling bad for a thirty four year old beer bellied drunk. You can if you want to, that's on you, but I'm getting prepared for the mainevent, a boxing match between CPA and Shayne Brave, ordered by Jade Rodez, as a result of Shayne pinning CPA in the eight person tag match at School's Out. And folks that is coming up next!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen.The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover)In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance.Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows.And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing.Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror....and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM.But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Jamie O'Hara looking off into the distance.The bitter world that they could unite... Shot of Team Heyross looking at each other, then turning to look at the camera with a smirk on their faces.And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement.World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? The show returns from break focused on the ring, the typically beige mat has been replaced with a blue one littered with sponsorship logos, outside the ring rest a gang of paramedics and various medical professionals. Beside them are photo journalists, all here to capture the images of the boxing match that is closing out a wrestling show. AsCPA has no actual entrance music it is up to Patty to use creative liberties and find a hot song. Thus a young African American woman performs a monologue over the loud speakerI used to think about immature things Y'know like, do you love me? Do you want me? Are you gon' call me like you said you would? Is this really your real phone number?Wait a minute motherfuckers! After Lil Jon's bombastic proclamation, the remix of Rich Boy's Throw Some D's bombs across the arena. Parting entrance doors reveal a wealth of trainers, cutmen and various hanger ons, all outfitted in white workout pants and mesh white t-shirts that read ENTERPRISE in bold gold letters. One man who isn't outfitted in such attire is tonight's primary pugilist , Craig Patrick Allen. A red robe, featuring a glittering cursive ENTERPRISE hangs off his shoulders, partially cloaking the gold trunks he wears. At Allen's side is Ned Blanchard, attired in a bright purple suit and yellow lensed sun glasses. The Handsome Hustler offers encouraging words to his associate, who greets them with smirks and nods. Buried behind this wealth of bodies is Jade Rodez, clad in her black tracksuit. Though she's very blond and very pretty, there's a cold stoicism in her appearance. COACH Are you ready for some boxing, Mikey? COLE No, no, I'm not. Craig Patrick Allen has been a training partner to such boxers as Lewis, Holyfield, Tyson, Tua and George Foreman, above all that he has a professional record of sixteen wins and zero losses. His sixteen wins are sixteen more fights then Shayne has ever been in his life. I like boxing just fine, what I don't like is that Jade Rodez has abused the fact that she owns D*LUX's contract and has put them in this match. What's the purpose? Shayne pinned CPA fair and square at School's Out, why does he have to be put in the middle of this insane match? And if he tries to back out of this match, he'll be suspended for six months! It's disgusting. How can she live with herself? COACH Pretty easily when you're on Moneymaker's payroll. Into the ring comes CPA. His robe is discarded to the floor and quickly removed by his cornerman, Ned Blanchard. He tosses phantom punches into the air, as he imagines his fists removing Brave's head from his neck."JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The audience moves to their feet, the females amongst them pouring grand cheers onto the soon to be arriving boxer. From parting entrance doors emerges the red and white trunked, Shayne Brave. The blond youngster tries to put on a look of enthusiasm, but one gaze at the incredible animal that awaits him in the ring destroys that effort. His entourage is much smaller then CPA's. Tyler Bryant, in jeans and white Billabong t-shirt, stands at his side, shaking his head in sadness. Outfitted in an empowering business suit and black sun glasses, Krista stands none to pleased with the thought of Shayne having to face this much larger foe. Brave's cornergirl, Alix Spezia, outfitted in a vintage black Jarri Kurri LA Kings hockey jersey and destroyed jeans, seems to be the only one with a positive spirit, as she makes insane proclamations of a first round knockout for Shayne. COLE Poor Shayne. COACH Poor Shayne? COLE Hasn't Jade done enough to these kids? Blindfold matches, now boxing matches? She crushes their heart and soul, why crush their bodies as well? What's the point? What is she getting out of all of this? Her behavior just makes me sick, and she used to be such a nice girl. COACH Now, she's a smart girl, Cole. A smart girl. And one with a great sense of humor because this is going to be hilarious! While his ragtag group of supporters positions themselves beside his corner, Shayne meekly steps into the ring. Shouts of “You fucked now, son!” from Ned Blanchard do little to ease his anxious mind. Krista tries to plead with Shayne to go down on the first punch, which prompts Tyler to sadly remark that he'll probably do that whether he wants to or not. Michael Buffer steps into the ring to give the audience the introduction to the unusual bout. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen of Tupelo, Mississippi, the OAOAST, in conjunction with The Enterprise is proud to bring to you twelve rounds of championship boxing. Tonight's judges are Tony Brannigan, Randy Savage, and Gangrel. COACH I can't really see this fight going to the judges. BUFFER The referee for tonight's contest is Terry Taylor! Not distracted by the “Billy, point to the place on the doll where Terry put his penis” sign a fan is holding, the completely unqualified referee states the rules. TAYLOR Alright gentlemen, it's like this, no three knockdown rule, no saved by the bell, rounds are two minutes a piece, watch bellow the belt, watch the headbutts and let's have a good clean fight. BUFFER And now introducing the warriors in tonight's competition. Standing to my right, in the red corner, he stands at five nine inches and weighed in at one hundred eighty pounds. He fights out of the Motor City, Detroit, Michigan, with a professional record of zero wins and zero losses, he is SHOWTIME SHAYNE BRAAAAVE! “SHOWTIME! SHOWTIME! SHOWTIME!” the fans sing, although their cheers aren't enough to the wipe the gloom away from his face. Terry Taylor's attempt to pat Shayne down for illegal weaponry is halted when Alix calls him a "fat faggot", prompting a debate between she and Krista over whether it's appropriate for lesbians and bisexuals to use such terms. BUFFER And the opponent, standing in the blue corner. He stands six feet six inches and weighs two hundred eighty pounds. He fights out of The Collection Agency by way of Youngstown,Ohio, with a professional record of fifteen wins and zero losses, he is CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN. "I'ma whup yo ass, boy! You ain't got nothing on me!" CPA screams across the ring, doing absolutely nothing to cure Shayne's fright. COACH Lennox Lewis said that Allen hits harder then anyone he's ever sparred with before. You thought that he was just some street thug bouncer, Cole. How wrong you were, how wrong you were. COLE I've always given CPA his due, I thought he had a good chance of being on the winning side at School's Out, unfortunately he came up a bit short and somehow we've wound up with a boxing match because of it! Taylor calls for bell, thus beginning the inevitable death of Shayne Brave.DING DING DINGROUND ONE Shayne's expression is one of utter horror. As his lips quiver, and his stomach churns, images of the millions of brutal knockouts, and bloody massacres that could befall him tonight, flash into his skull. The macabre pictures are enough to motivate the boybander to beat a hasty retreat. Unfortunately the threat of suspension and the two hundred eighty pound road block known as CPA are suitable deterrents to his wise escape. Thus it's with heavy heart that he slogs his way towards the center of the ring. His trembling hands hold his gloves in front of his face, but they do nothing to shield the right jab that smacks onto his cheek. A left follows shortly thereafter, tagging the side of his head. The piddly shots sting worse then bullet wounds, and Shayne immediately moves into a clinch to afford himself a moment to rest. CPA will have none of this, however, and angrily shoves the smaller fighter away from him. His left hand then slices through the air with an uppercut, but Shayne pulls his head away from the attack that could've knocked his head into the heavens. CPA is left off balance by the miss, and Shayne sees this as his moment to strike; the Detroiter comes roaring in with body blows that land perfectly onto his rival's ribcage. COLE Shayne hitting him in the early going! Doing well on the judges scorecards but is he doing damage to CPA? “SHAYNE! SHAYNE! SHAYNE!” the audience chants. Shayne's offensive flurry is short lived however, as CPA backs him off with a gruff shove. Steeling his courage, Shayne retries his strikes, but pays for his bravery with two thudding left jabs. Shayne wilts under the searing pain from the simple blows, and leaves himself open to trifecta of body blows that nearly cave in his midsection. He staggers backwards, pure pain outlining his countenance. Sensing blood in the water, the predatory CPA moves in for the kill. But once again, Shayne resorts to the clinch to evade a gruesome knockout. This time CPA is far more underhanded in his method shattering Shayne's hooks; with a savage cry, he slams his head into the bridge of the boybander's nose! “BOOOO!” yell the fans, while Terry Taylor threatens disqualification. Shayne cries out in agony, and collapses to the floor, marking the first official knockdown of the contest. COLE That can't count, it was an illegal blow. COACH Don't tell this highly qualified referee how to do his job, Cole. Thrilled with the success of his cheap shot, CPA parades around the ring, shadow boxing towards the hostile Tupelo audience. As Shayne writhes on the canvas, Taylor stands above him, making the all important count. ONE TWO Blood gushing from his nose, Shayne slowly begins to venture upright. THREE FOUR FIVE He gets onto his knees, breath heavy, mind rattled by a possible concussion. His instincts (and Krista's good advice), implore him to stay grounded, but with the heart of a fighter, he simply can not throw this match, and so rises fully to his feet.“SHAYNE! SHAYNE! SHAYNE!” The bout resumes with CPA taking a more technical approach to his pugilism. The burly fighter bobs and weaves, keeping his head and neck in a constant motion, leaving the inexperienced Shayne completely dumbfounded as to what to do. He comes in with a weak straight punch, that's easily dodged by CPA, then countered with a right hook. Allen leans into a deadly left straight, but Shayne clumsily stumbles away from the blow, and returns fire with crazed haymakers. Each blow is spurred on by a basic urge to survive in the face of this glaring mismatch. But the shots bring nothing but grave disappointment to Shayne, as his larger foe effortlessly sways and fades away from them. CPA toys with the shellshocked Shayne, bouncing on his feet in a manner reminiscent of the great Ali. Six jabs then tear through Shayne's pathetic cover-up, each coming with their own bit of trash talk. “You ain't got nothing for me, bitch.” CPA states over the roar of the still standing crowd. Enraged by the comment, Shayne flies into an ill advised MMA inspired superman punch. The blow, like many of Shayne's punches, has little success, as when the punch arrives, the boxer sharply rotates his hips and shoulders, leading the strike sail harmlessly past. CPA puts himself right back on the attack, rotating his weight into a thunderous right hook, that explodes across Shayne's eye. Instantly an intense swelling appears above the eye socket of the pretty boy, as his vision slows into a chaotic blood red blur. He totters from side to side, completely unable to get his bearings when faced with this tremendous pain. Yet, his bearings become the least of his worries when CPA whips an uppercut into his jaw. The results of the blow are immediate and disturbing, Brave's face disfigures into a fleshy mis-mash, and gobs of blood spill freely from his mouth. As the Tupelo audience reacts in total horror over the blow, Shayne drops backwards, crashing into the canvas a bloodied heap. Krista and Tyler react with total horror, but over in the Enterprise corner, Jade Rodez couldn't bring herself to care less what happens to Shayne. COACH Two knock downs in one round, baby. Could you have imagined that? COLE Yeah, two knockdowns against a teenager who's never boxed in his life. Very impressive. And one came off a headbutt. Ooooh big man, that CPA. After ushering the trashing talking CPA back to his corner, Taylor begins the count... ONE TWO THREE Krista cries, “Hey, Terry, just because you have to pay four hundred dollars for a woman to sleep with you doesn't mean you have to take it out on Shayne! Stop the fight!” "Krista, I'm the referee, I'll make the call to stop the fight." "And, I'll make the call to call you a worthless douche!" Shayne stirs, not to rise in triumph, but to dump a wad of bloody spit onto the canvas. FOUR FIVE SIXDING DING DINGEND OF ROUND ONE COACH There's the bell, but there are no saved by the bell rules here! Shayne has got to get up to keep this bout going. SEVEN COLE I think Krista's right, he's gotta stay down, he's just going to keep getting creamed if he goes on. EIGHT CPA massive arms rip into the air in preemptive celebration. Though it's early, it's certainly not an arrogant rejoice as it truly looks like Shayne will be spending the rest of his week in the ICUNINE For some reason, Taylor hesitates to raise the ten, and this split second of indecision allows Shayne to will himself upright. Some fans applaud his fighting spirit, but most remain silent, unable to fathom how it would be a good idea for him to continue the bout. Regardless he staggers back to his corner where his “crack” training staff has a stool waiting for him. COACH Now we're going to see what kind of boxer Shayne is. Will he gut it out and come back to fight in the second round? Or is he a weak willed sissy, as we all think he is, who won't dare show his face after two knockdowns! COLEHE IS NOT A BOXER! COACH (ignoring Cole) For now, let's listen in on Brave's corner. Tyler tries to attend to Shayne's numerous cuts and bruises that have him looking like something out of a Resident Evil video game. Given that he has absolutely zero medical experience, Tyler is useless as a cut man, and he's forced to give way to the maternal instincts of Krista Isadora Duncan. Alix stands at Shayne's side, exhausting her minimal boxing knowledge on her protege. KRISTA Alix! Alix! Alix! ALIX (muttering) Maybe if I ignore her she'll shut up. KRISTA Alix, if you don't pay attention to me right this instant, I'll reveal your real birth date! ALIX Gah! You wouldn't! KRISTA December fifteenth nineteen sixty ALIX Ahhh! Fine! What, what, what, do ya want? KRISTA I want you to throw in the towel, sweetie. ALIX A sphincter says....what? No way, am I throwing in the towel! KRISTA Sweetie, he's getting massacred. M-a-s-s...look my PhD is in modern dance not spelling, the bottom line is he's getting killed. ALIX He's f-i-n-e. Fine! Aren't ya? SHAYNE (moaning) Can't see. Can't move at all. TYLER Aww man. You could have a groin injury. ALIX Which may be the world's way of telling ya to call it a night. But any thing that talks to you through your groin can go around the corner and kiss your booty! KRISTA Alix... ALIX Krista, if I wanted any of your tongue I'd take off my pants! So unless you're gonna make like Chuck Taylor and rock my “man in the boat”, then I suggest you make like The All Amercian Rejects and move along, move along, like I know you will. Now, Shayne, this is what's super important. When my cousin Juan was in high school he was in a band with his best friend Tito, and Tito's bro worked in Carlsbad, and he said there was this older chick who liked to sleep with young dudes, take their virginity, all that, and she lived in a yellow house and they drove around days looking for it, but you know what, there was no yellow house. See what I'm saying here? SHAYNE No. ALIX Great! You're fine! Up and at 'em kiddo! COACH Interesting. Right now, let's go to our ringside expert Simon Singleton, who's helping us score the fight. Simon? We cut to Simon standing ringside in a blue and yellow polka dot tuxedo. COLE Oh give me a break! SIMON Excuse me, Mister Cole, I'm trying to lend an air of credibility, and journalistic integrity to an otherwise tawdry and low brow affair. Now, in my expert view, the first round goes to Christopher Patrick Allen, ten to eight. Mister Allen has no fear as he dominates the ring against an inferior opponent! COLE (muttering) That's because he's dominating a boy who he out weighs by over a hundred pounds. SIMON I also found Brave's punches to be lacking in crispness and technique. It's as if they were thrown by a teenage boy who's never been in a boxing match in his life.... COLE THAT'S BECAUSE THEY WERE THROWN BY A TEENAGE BOY WHO'S NEVER BEEN IN A BOXING MATCH IN HIS LIFE!!!!!!! COACH Simon, I apologize for my colleagues petiteness and unprofessional nature. I thank you for your sharp mind and important insights. We'll see you at the conclusion of the second round. For now let's take a look at CPA's corner. Over in The Enterprise corner the mechanical organization of the professional team works wonderfully, addressing the scant few scrapes on CPA's face. Jade remains outside, paying no attention to the world around her. Ned leans over the ropes, his toothy smile directed at CPA. NED Good stuff, brother, good stuff. Brave better watch his goddamned neck when he comes out for the second round. He thought we gave it bad to him now? It's looking to get even worse. I'm tempted to jump in that ring and bust a 40 bottle upside his frosted tips! CPA He fucking with the wrong one, Ned. I tried to tell 'em, I tried to warn 'em, but he fuckin with the wrong one, man! NED Hell yeah he is. If he was smart, then he would've gone up to San Fransisco and have Barry Balco score him some of "the clear". Then maybe his punches might actually break glass. The way it is now, we've got this one, bro. Woof woof! Elsewhere, the sexy ring girl carries a large card with the number 2 above her head. Actually, the sexy ring girl isn't a girl at all. Rather it's Mariachi of Los Diablos De Fuego, his hairless chest and bronze physique exposing the holiness of it's beauty to the consumption of an unworthy world. A pink thong bikini tightly nourishes the majesty of his stiffened manhood, causing mouthes near and far to water with lustful hunger. Admit it, you're already hunting down that box of Charmin. U KNO WHO YOU ARE TONY149! While my attempt to out Tony may have failed, Terry Taylor's attempt to call for the bell does not, and the second round of this exaggerated murder is underway.DING DING DINGROUND TWO Terry Taylor calls the fighter back into battle, and the slaughter begins once more. Allen offers no respect to Brave's fighting skills, or lack thereof, and begins winging looping left hooks at the boy. Shayne circles away from the poorly targeted strikes, and hammers a left-right combination of jabs into Allen's ribcage. Though the strikes do no damage, they show the crowd Brave isn't willing to roll over and die. CPA shows no fear of Shayne's “power”, and nails two left jabs that are scarcely blocked by Showtime. Reeling from the pain of simply blocking the strike, Shayne tries to create some distance between himself and his burly rival. But “The Debt Collector” uses his expert footwork to cut off his escape routes as he drubs him with a quintet of jabs. Though only two of blows actually land, they do enough damage to Shayne to turn his cheek a shade of dark purple. COACH Shayne is no match for the boxing artistry of Christopher Patrick Allen. COLE I wonder why that is? Could it be because this is the first time he's ever put on boxing gloves, whereas CPA has trained with the likes of Lennox Lewis and George Foreman? CPA circles Shayne with great arrogance, smiling to himself over the knowledge that he holds Shayne's fate within his hands. Imagine his shock when Brave closes in and nails him flush across his bulbous snout with a wicked right cross! The blow sends an outraged CPA teetering backwards and enlivens the once dead crowd. “YEAAAAAA!” CPA tries to reposition himself as the dominant force in the match, unleashing a right cross upon his foe. However, Brave ducks into a semi crouch stance, and as CPA's fist flies past he erupts with a thundering uppercut! Overtaken with glee over Shayne's show of strength Alix screams, “WHOOP THAT TRICK!” “GET 'EM!” the audience replies. “WHOOP THAT TRICK!” “GET 'EM!” “WHOOP THAT TRICK!” “GET 'EM!” “WHOOP THAT TRICK!” “GET 'EM!” And whoop that trick Shayne does, miraculously hammering his stupefied foe with a succession of rights. The shots leave Allen open mouthed, and weary, his hands held low beside his waist. Ned screams for him to get back into the game. Unfortunately, these are shouts and cries that are heard by CPA as an uppercut lifts him from his blue boots and drops him onto the canvas!“AEIFHEIGHEGIHEW!” That would be the sound of the audience going completely mad from joy over the unbelievable sight they've just witnessed. Alix leaps off her stool, screaming like a mad woman, while Ned sits in the other corner, besieged by shock. COLE Shayne knocked CPA down! I don't believe it! I don't believe it! COACH Vegas never predicted this! Bringing himself back from his own shock over the stupendous event, Terry Taylor begins his count. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CPA quickly moves to his knees, and instantly dampens much of the enthusiasm. A strong snarl rips across his face, informing Brave that there will be hell to pay for this grave transgression. CROWD THREE As though Brave's previous flurry never occurred, CPA is on his feet, appearing more menacing and lethal then ever before. A smoldering cauldron of rage and fury, he refuses to wait for Terry Taylor to restart the bout and immediately seeks retribution. He throws wild punches that scarcely miss his backpedaling foe. He cranks his arm into a savage left hook, but just as the punch arrives Shayne quickly rotates his hips to the opposite side, then comes back with two sharp blows to the body! “KNOCK 'EM OUT SHAYNE! KNOCK HIM OUT! KNOCK 'EM OUT SHAYNE! KNOCK 'EM OUT!” Irate over the idea of a sub two hundred pounder flooring him, Allen launches into another crazed onslaught of punches. Despite his face looking like a plate of mashed potatoes, Showtime stands and trades with his much larger foe, his bravery (LOL PUN) whipping the crowd into further frenzy. COACH They're using smaller gloves then most boxers. Smaller gloves mean more damage, more damage mean more knockdowns. Brave comes out of the exchange with a large cut decorating his right eye. But the blood simply spurs on his desire to compete, and he and Allen once again lock horns in an exchange of hate filled haymakers. Having the superior handspeed, CPA is able to batter Brave with piston like punches, leaving his face a sickening mess of bruises, blood and jagged cuts. Shayne refuses to be backed down by the mounting damage, and returns fire with a bruising kidney punch. Allen then slows the break neck pace of the bout by bear hugging Brave into a clinch. His vulgar mouth spews a torrent of profanities, none of which seem to faze Showtime as evidenced when he unloads a nasty jab to jaw that snaps Allen's head back! CPA tries to circle back to get his bearings within the ring, but Brave hounds him left-right jab combos. A pair of hooks from Allen delay the resilient cruiser weight. But it's only seconds later before Shayne's punches resume raining down on Allen's jaw. COLE Shayne's hanging in there! But he needs another miracle to take CPA down! Will he get it? Will he get it? There's a distinct air of hope floating through the arena. The thousands of Tupelo natives wish to believe that Shayne has the moxie, the power and the fabulous luck required to upend the fearsome beast. Even as they watch a three punch combination from CPA swell Brave's right eye shut, they remain hopeful. Shayne doesn't disappoint as he returns with a beautiful straight cross to Allen's chin. But CPA doesn't even blink before lobbing half a dozen sharp punches that connect masterfully in the corner. With Shayne blind in one eye, his foe goes for the kill, firing a massive uppercut that connects with lethal authority! Brave's head is rocked so tremendously that the entire front row is bathed in sweat and blood. Yet their own health is not their primary concern, as they witness a second uppercut propel the boybander through the skies and deposit his bloody husk onto the canvas with a resounding thud! "OOOOOH" goes the audience as they watch Showtime's blue eyes dive into the back of his head. COACH That has got to be it! The boy just got murdered. COLE No three knockdown rule here, Coach. Shayne still has till the count of ten. Come on, kid! CPA certainly doesn't believe Shayne has any hope of answering that count, and as he ventures back to his corner he and Ned boisterously gloat over their “achievement.” Shayne's corner is one filled with great sadness and worry, and even Alix is forced to admit that perhaps discretion would be the better part of not getting your fucking teeth knocked down your throat! Thus she makes zero efforts to will him to his feet ONE TWO THREE“SHOWTIME! SHOWTIME! SHOWTIME!”the fans chant, mainly to see if Shayne is still alive. FOUR FIVE SIX “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, rumble young man rumble!” CPA boasts from his corner. SEVEN EIGHT NINE There's no movement from Shayne. Not a wiggling of the feet, a stirring of the hands or a blinking of the one good eye.TEN! COACH And there it is, mang! CPA getting him some get back avenging his loss at School's Out! First Leon goes down, gets choked out like a punk, and now Shayne can't even make it out of the second round! These dudes ain't shit! The thirty year old women they got backing 'em up are bigger men then they are! Rather then come into the ring as he'd usually do for boxing matches, Buffer announces the winner in the usual pro wrestling fashion. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the winner of this bout at one minute and forty five seconds of the second round, THE DEBT COLLECTOR, CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN! The audience is disgusted by the wanton display of brutality from The Enterprise and shower the venue with boos. However, The Enterprise's representatives pay them no mind as they pour into the ring to celebrate CPA's victory. High fives are exchanged and compliments are lauded upon the victor by his training staff and his head trainer, Ned Blanchard. Simon stands outside of the ring, smirking to himself, while trying to maintain journalistic objectivity despite being involved in an enormous fraud. Jade simply stands with arms folded, an attitude of cold indifference standing firm in the wake of her team's celebration and the audiences wrath. COLE Oh, aren't they happy? COACH Why shouldn't they be, Allen improved his boxing record to sixteen wins and zero losses. COLE Over a person he outweighs by a hundred pounds! Way to go! Who knows what kind of injuries Shayne could have suffered tonight? COACH He didn't have to take this match. COLE Yes he did! Jade owns his contract and she forced him into it. He had no choice, and I hope she's happy, because the blood is on her hands. Doctors surround Shayne trying to will him back to life. There doesn't seem to be much hope for the teen idol as amidst the colorful chaos of the rage and joy, Shayne remains submerged in a deep blackness. Tyler, Terry, Krista, and Alix stand above him, each one distraught with worry over Brave's condition. Being the only mother of the four, Krista is much more proactive in needling the doctors with questions on Shayne's condition. Unfortunately all their answers are of the “we don't know" variety. COLE Folks, once again The Enterprise's power, strength and money has conspired to do what may be irreparable harm to an innocent human being. COACH Innocent? He was trying to knock CPA out, take food off his plate! COLE What was he supposed to do? He had no choice, I keep telling you! He was led to the slaughter by his former manager Jade Rodez, and she doesn't give a damn about it. They think this is all fun and games, well a kid is hurt, a kid is oozing blood by the gallon, and I'm not okay with it, and these people are not okay with it, and The Enterprise can go to hell! Folks, I apologize for my language, and for the way this show ended. But thank you for joining us this evening, and please log on to OAOAST.com to get updates on Shayne's condition. COACH LMAO, here's an update, that white boy dead!GOODNIGHT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts