Chanel #99 Posted November 2, 2016 Report Share Posted November 2, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD RENEE Wow, Coach, I feel like I just got out a Star Trek time loop. COACH Don't start that shit or Melody will come out rambling bunk while being fully clothed. *** Miss Anderson Cup Sunny Bracket Semifinal: Pretty Young Money w/ Phecda & Al Houd vs. C02 *** Right off the bat R&C namedrop the Midnight Foxes because their involvement recently on OAOAST SYN during the Fire & Ice/Men-U-Pause match (resulting in a double count out which eliminated both teams) bought the winner of tonight's bout a free trip to the 2016 Miss AC Finals. COACH If either one of these two teams goes on to win the Cup, you know the Foxes are gonna want a thank you present. Phecda & Houd's shenanigans early got them EJECTED which threw off Melissa and Anastasia since their game plan apparently relied heavily on their goons interference. Instead they found themselves in survival mode using every trick in the book to combat C02. Despite all that C02 seemed poised to move on when, from the apron, Jade executed a sunset flip on Melissa. Except Melissa wouldn't go down easily, asking Jesus for help as she reached for the ropes to remain upright. Melissa would get help just not from Jesus. Because after she went down Anastasia ran in from outta nowhere to kick Jade right smack in the face, the momentum causing Jade to fall back with Melissa on top for the 1-2-3 as Anastasia prevented Maya from making the save. MELISSA Praise Jesus! We're going to the Finals! Winners: Pretty Young Money, via pinfall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2016 Terry Taylor was on hand with his usual tormentors COD along with Queen Esther, none of the three seemed in any rush to prepare Queen Esther to have to wrestle, thinking along the lines COD can handle all three on their own. TAYLOR Its none of my business but shouldn't you be doing something to train Queen Esther on how to wrestle. KRISTA You're right it is none of your business, but isn't that what everyone does, but into other people's business these days. How many e-mails have I sent that could get my under FBI investigation, or deported, or executed for treason. ALIX And I've totally bragged about grabbing a few pussies since before I got into office. TAYLOR You're in office now!? QUEEN ESTHER My noble father has appointed Alix, Minister of DICK. Dedication, Information, Charisma and Knowledge. ALIX I can handle the dick! KRISTA And Queenie here can handle whatever threat Lorelei throws at her. But the thing is its not like Lorelei will get the chance if Tyler couldn't beat us with a regular partner like Shayne, he can't beat us with a plot device like Flex, and I ain't capitalizing that bitch ass nigga's name neither. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2016 *** Rico de Janeiro & Remy Brazil w/ Pete-O vs. The Masked Mutants w/ Studderboxx *** You'll be happy to know the Masked Mutants actually got in some offense, but sad to learn they still lost. A Mustache Ride scored the W for the sleaziest team in the business. Winners: RICO de Janeiro & Remy Brazil, via pinfall. Post-match the guys were interviewed in-ring by OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor who pressed them about VICE's assault last week on Dem Bums. Naturally they denied any role in the attack, claiming they only appeared because Rico spotted a hot chick ringside and wanted to get her number but by the time he showed she was gone. Of course when asked what she looked like Rico couldn't remember. REMY What is this, some interrogation? RICO Yeah, mang. These wannabe news reporters can't pin nothing on us! REMY & RICO Rico and Remy scurry away leaving Pete by his lonesome. PETE (to Terry) Psst! Can I say something? *smiles/waves at camera* TERRY I don't know. PETE Would it help if I told you It's for a good cause? I want to spread awareness to an issue underreported by the media: the age of consent. TERRY PETE It's all over the map! And you thought the tax code was complicated! Pfft! I mean you only need to be 16 to get a driver's license, right? So why not-- TERRY Go to commercial? Good idea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2016 *** Ice Quiz w/ Christian Wright vs. Job Burr *** Baron Windels and Mr. Dick (still rocking the OAOAST tag titles bandolier look) viewed the action at the world famous backstage interview lounge. They didn't have to stand around long as Ice Quiz made quick work of his opponent, picking up the W following a Pop Quiz powerbomb. Winner: Ice Quiz, via pinfall. Post-match Ice Quiz made the belt around the waist gesture, making it very clear he and CA want their property back, which amuses Mr. Dick who reminds BW that "Possession is 9/10ths of the law!" BW nods in disbelief. The arrogance of his partner. But they'll get their chance to win the OAOAST tag titles the right way at the OAOAST Halloween Spectacular X. A video recap of the Oscar Friberg/Alexander The Magnificent rivalry aired reminding the OAOAST Galaxy this feud can be traced back to Oscar's time as U.S. Champion when for one reason or another fate seemed to deny Alexander championship gold. CUT TO: Oscar in a dark room. He stares directly into the camera. OSCAR Jealously is a terrible thing. CUT TO: A$AP Blondie in a dark room. BLONDIE Alexander, jealous?! (points behind) Have you seen this man? Spotlight falls on Alexander posing/admiring himself. ALEXANDER Magnificent! BLONDIE Oscar Friberg... Alexander The Magnificent... Grudge match. Halloween Spectacular X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2016 I'm a wanderess I'm a one night stand Don't belong to no city Don't belong to no man I'm the violence in the pouring rain I'm a hurricane Ha ah ah ha ah ah ah I'm a hurricane Ha ah ah ha ah ah ah I'm a hurricane “Hurricane” by Haley with Arty on the remix blasts into the arena and we've got fans on their feet and orange and pink lights flooding the entry way and stands. As the doors spread apart, Pierette does a running leap onto the stage, sending her tassled bikini top and skirt a flying. Gretchen of course is more measured with a twirl of her lovely bod, encased in organge booty shorts and sheer top, and a wave of her parasol to the crowd! BUFFER The following is a Miss Anderson Cup Semi-Final match in the Sable Bracket! Now making their way to the ring, representing DELTA DELTA DELTA, PIERETTE SAINT NERDREGARD, the OAOAST HOTTIES CHAMPION and “MONARCH OF POSH” GRETCHEN WRIGHT....THE SISTERHOOD OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS! “YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE So I have to note that Cassidy refused to enter second so Gretchen and Pierette have to go first in this Delta House explosion! COACH Ain't nothing like a good Sorority smackdown! Gretchen makes the official hold open the ropes for both she and Pierette, and the sisterhood gracefully steps into the ring, where they take a curtsy to the fans that's all class and cuteness. Think I just remembered something I think I left the faucet running Now my words are filling up the tub Darling, you're just soaking in it But I know you'll get out the minute You notice all your fingers pruning up I'm tired of being careful, tiptoe, trying to keep the water warm Let me under your skin Uh-oh, there it goes, I said too much, it overflowed Why do I always spill? I feel it coming out my throat Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap God, I wish I never spoke Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap Big problems arise for The Sisterhood with “Soap” by The Animal In Me thumping into the arena. Green neon lights swish about the stage and from parted entrance doors crawls the haunting beauty Cassidy Number Two, attached to a leash by the posh in her own right, Cassidy Maguire! Colin's big sis decides to let Number Two off her leash and the bizzare babe goes howling and charging down the ramp! BUFFER And their oppnents, also representing DELTA DELTA DELTA, they are CASSIDY MAGUIRE and CASSIDY NUMBER TWO....THE CASSIDYS! “YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE The winner of this HUGE HUGE HUGE match will face The Mardi Gras Ass Wrecking Crew at Halloween Spectacular, the Sunrays beat Fairly Odd Vamps on SYN. And the winner gets to move into the finals to face the well rested duo of Melissa Nerdly and Anastasia Violetta! Cassidy struts her hot stuff down the entrance ramp, looking down on all around her, even her own partner! But her nastiest of glare is saved for poor Gretchen stood in the middle of the ring, waving sheepishly. COACH The OAOAST's Kobe Vs Shaq is about to pop off ! Number Two rumbles into the ring! Bouncing off them and giving a howl as Cassidy finally enters and makes sure the OAOAST Galaxy knows she's the alpha bitch of Delta House. RENEE Put the zombies to the side, Delta House explodes! DING DING DING Its explosive and wild right off the bat as Cassidy and Gretchen agree to face off against one another. RENEE This is like Biden getting sick of Obama and challenging him to a brawl! “LE'T GO GRETCHEN!” “LET'S GO CASSIDY!” “LE'T GO GRETCHEN!” “LET'S GO CASSIDY!” Gretchen tries to maintain the peace in the face of an unwelcome confrontation and extends the hand to Cassidy. CASSIDY She's seeking actual human contact, because the rest of the world is too scared to get near her mutant vagina. But I'm fearless so let's do this. Cassidy gives a condescending slap to the hand of Gretchen. “OOOOOHHHHHHHHH” Cassidy then grabs hold of Gretchen's arm and shoots her into the ropes. The Hotties champion dips bellow a lariat and keeps running, but can't avoid a hip toss that flings her to the mat. Pleased with herself, Cassidy begins making a sweeping motion. CASSIDY Just getting rid of the leftover trash. Please don't mind me. Gretchen puts on a stoic face and rises off the mat. She's pounced on by a chopping Cassidy who then sends her to the ropes. But Gretchen returns full of fire and delivers a powerful running dropkick! Cassidy gets no rest as Gretchen hauls her arm and begins twisting her in into an arm wrench. That hold doesn't last for long as Cassidy rolls forward and kips her way out of the hold. Still trying to maintain her attack, Gretchen throws a back kick towards Cassidy that winds up getting caught inside Cassidy's clutches. The Boston native then slams her boot down and returns fire with a spining boot of her own. CASSIDY Number Two, you want in on this. NUMBER TWO I am torn. You two are my mother figures, and one mommy is saying to beat up the other mommy. CASSIDY I am not your mom, you dumb gash! NUMBER TWO Don't verbally abuse me. I'm your daughter. CASSIDY Cassidy ignores Number Two for now and starts stomping away at Gretchen. Despite these blows Gretchen is able to roll to her feet and shove her vice president into the corner. Before Cassidy can come out, Gretchen comes flying in with a splash, that carries her up and over to the apron. As Cassidy staggers to the center of the ring, The Monarch of Posh ascends to the top turnbuckle. As soon as Cassidy turns around, Gretchen leaves her perch and attacks her with a crossbody! A lateral press follows... ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! Gretchen passes the tag to Pierette. PIERETTE Ahhhh that scent, that scent of a teenage girl in lust! Her big ass on skimpy display for all too see! It charges me up! And when I get charged up, I gotta stab someone! GRETCHEN Okay, but if you control yourself mayhaps there will be candy in your future. PIERETTE Candy?! I'll be super good! Pierette shoots Cassidy into the corner and lowers her head for a backdrop effort. But all that happens is that Cassidy grabs hold of her red locks and slams her backwards to the mat! Pierette hurries off the math and efforts a back elbow that swats Cassidy in the jaw. Annoyed, Cassidy fires off a spinning forearm, then takes out Pierette's leg with a sweep that has Pierette's grumbling. CASSIDY Quit whining, god only knows what bottom of what substance you'd be feeding off if I didn't let you into Delta Delta Delta. Basic bitch. GRETCHEN Cassidy, there is no need for cruelty! CASSIDY There's also no need for virginal jackoffs that sell their sisters out to make it to first base with an escaped autsitc lab rat, but you still did it. RENEE Cassidy is in rare form. COACH I hope she don't notice me. I might catch a stray! Cassidy elevates herself onto the middle rope, but has to the deal with the trouble of Pierette coming to life in swatting her in the stomach. Cassidy fights against her and rains down punches to the top of her head, doing enough damage to get Pierette to stop attacking her. Now Cassidy cinches in a front facelock and begins twirling for a tornado DDT. However, Pierette is able to push her off to avoid the attack. Cassidy lands on her feet and comes charging at Pierette only to get clocked by a spinning reverse elbow! “OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE Bam Bam Pancakes! Pierette lays atop Cassidy for the pin... ONE! TWO! A kickout! The blond witch is brought off the mat and trapped inside a single underhook, which is fine for her as she uses her free arm to grab Pierette's leg and dump her to the mat with a simple takedown. The ginger rolls to her feet, but Cassidy hounds her and connects with a high kneeto dump her in front of the Cassidys' corner. As Pierette lays in a daze the tag is made to Number Two. RENEE I guess even Cassidy needs to tag out once in a while. Number Two hops into the ring with admiration held for Pierette's hair and in fact just starts grabbing it. PIERETTE I've been spending a lot time in sperm banks lately. I learned that red hair is very rare. CASSIDY You didn't need to spend your time at a spooge shack to figure that out, you brainless skank! Pierette finally does manage to pry her red locks away from Number Two's cltuches and pops up to hit her with a European Uppercut. Number Two falls into the ropes and Pierette gives charge, only to be back dropped over the cables and onto the apron. Dizzy, she pulls herself upright and is amazingly flung back into the ring by a handstand head scissors by Number Two! COACH Damn, they teaching crazy shit in the sperm bank! RENEE Uh...no. Number Two ascends to the top turnbuckle giving rise to an anticipated cheer. And the fans are mighty impressed as the morbid witch dives off and hits a headbutt onto Pierette! CASSIDY As if you didn't have enough brain issues! The cover is made... ONE! TWO! Pierette brings her shoulder up! The tag is exchanged by Number Two and Number One. COACH Vice Prez is running dis shit tonight! Cassidy runs the ropes at first, but gets back dropped by Pierette! However, she's able to avoid disaster by landing on her feet. Rather than attack Pierette, though, Cassidy unleashes holy hell on Gretchen by crushing her with a suicide spear that flings her off the apron! “OOOOOHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE OH MY~! COACH DAYUM~! Cassidy hurries herself into the ring, where she ducks a spinning kick from Pierette. She then remains on the attack by grabbing onto her ginger foe and cursing her with a gut check! If that wasn't enough the high strung unleashes a sick kick! “OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE Hell Week! Feeling herself, Cassidy plays to the crowd... “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” CASSIDY Dyke, looking referee you can call this match now. REFEREE BRIAN KNOBBS I'm not- CASSIDY Not a dyke? Not a woman? I'm be surprised if your Lez name isn't Mac or Butch or something. Oh well because your incompetence I have to continue to show why I'm the true leader of Delta House. Cassidy picks Pierette off the mat and begins bashing her with forearms. Showing some spirit, Pierette fights back with her own forearms and lands enough to daze Cassidy. With Cassidy out of it for the moment, Pierette hangsprings off the ropes, yet winds up caught by Cassidy over her shoulder on the return! Much to Pierette's pain and dismay she's given a front slam that leaves her laid out and suffering on the canvas! RENEE Cassidy had something to prove in this match and it looks like she's proving it. Cassidy pulls Pierette upright and tries to Irish whip her to the ropes, but Pierette manages to counter by reversing, but Cassidy reverses that reversal and pulls her in for a short arm elbow, then hits a very sexy takedown... RENEE It doesn't get hotter than the Hotties of the OAOAST! COACH Whoo! I can't wait until the finals! Pierette gets up under her own according, seeking a tag from Gretchen. But that isn't made possible thanks to Cassidy clubbing her in the back with forearms. The rather rude vice president then lifts Pierette up for a back suplex, only for Pierette to flip out of it! Angered, Cassidy pops her in the jaw then tries for another back suplex...and again Pierette flips out of it! This time, the ginger cutie is able to dive backwards and get the tag to Gretchen! “YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Trump and Pence are about to go at it! Gretchen leaps into the ring and isntantly ducks a lariat from her vice president. Off guard, Cassidy is slung into the ropes then tossed down with a Wright Off! The cover.... ONE! TWO! A shoulder up! Cassidy gets off the mat under her own power, and blocks two forearm strikes by Gretchen. The pretty witch then hooks in a full nelson, but can't complete any move as Gretchen leaps up then uses the momentum to roll out of the hold! GRETCHEN Though I knew I had the advantage in beauty and figure, it is now clear I have the advantage in skill CASSIDY Its on now, idiot hooker. But its not Cassidy who gives Gretchen the problem, its Number Two who runs in clobbers Gretchen from behind. This perks Cassidy up, and she pulls Gretchen upright to tag her with a backhanded slap! COACH Put that hoe to sleep like her name Lucius Soul! In fact, Cassidy seems to borrow more moves from Lucius as she lifts Gretchen onto her shoulders in a fireman's carry, a possible setup for a G2S. But Gretchen isn't having it as she uses elbows to free herself from her vice president's graps. This angers Cassidy, who throws out a lariat with a yell, but winds up missing a ducking and running Gretchen. The beautiful Delta president then fires off a superkick, that leaves Cassidy out on her feet. Her toughness just causes her more problems as Gretchen steps up on her then corrals her neck and explodes with a DDT! “YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAA!” CASSIDY Blue Blood letting! What a sequence! Cassidy's legs are hooked for the pinfall.... ONE! TWO! Cassidy pops the shoulder up! Gretchen pulls Cassidy off the mat, and tries to fasten her into a front facelock for ther fisherman gordbuster finisher. RENEE The prez wants to Just Charge It! COACH If anyone knows how to avoid paying her own costs its Cassidy! Yes she does as Cassidy uses elbows to fight her way free of the hold and avoid certain defeat! Now eager to take back control from her president, Cassidy lifts the Alexandria native onto her shoulders. RENEE Its going to be hell week for Gretchen! But Gretchen avoids the attack by slipping out of the hold and avoiding the gut check. The Delta House president then proves her dominance by leaping forward and connecting with a cutter! A cover... ONE! TWO! Number Two breaks up the pinfall! With a little more loyalty to Number One, Number Two seethes as she stares down Gretchen... NUMBER TWO When this is all said and done I want to cleanse the crappy leadership out your bowels with a ten inch black dick! GRETCHEN That sounds wonder....no, Gretchen, you must be the glory you wish for your sorority! Gretchen whips Number Two towards a rising Cassidy, who has no qualms about shoving her henchwoman back at her president. Gretchen upends Number Two with a back body drop, but is almost immediatley caught by Cassidy who grabs her inside a front facelock and throws her for a vicious ride with a vertical suplex powerbomb! “OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE Those Who Pill Together Kill Together! A cover.... ONE! TWO! Pierette dives in and aids her sister against her other sister! CASSIDY I could have sworn I told you to die by enema. PIERETTE My colon checks out clean! Cassidy gets annoyed with Pierette and throws out a lariat that gets ducked. The ginger babe then hooks onto Cassidy's arm and impresses with a half nelson face crusher! PIERETTW Yay violence! “YYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Pierette puts herself off the ropes, then does a magical pirouette before dropping an elbow on Cassidy! RENEE Hey, sign Pierette up for the NYC ballet! Pierette yanks Cassidy upright, and hauls her onto her shoulders in a standing fireman's carry. But nothing more happens to Cassidy as Number Two yanks her off and gets her to safety. From there, the bizzare duo hook their fellow sister into a front facelock then drop her across the ropes before bringing her back to the mat with a slingshot suplex! COACH Cassidy out here showing why she should be Delta house president. Cassidy and Number Two set up a double team where Piers is whipped at Number Two. But Pierette shocks them all by hitting a running blockbuster! RENEE Gingercide! But Pierette's resurgence is shut down as Cassidy wallops her in the back of the head with an inverted shining wizard~! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!” Cassidy is immediatley acossted by Gretchen who spins her around to try and deal a bit of damage. But its the Boston native dealing damage as she punts Gretchen in the stomach. Though Gretchen isn't knocked over, she's pushed back and thrown against the referee who takes a hard tumble through the ropes! RENEE Is he ok? COACH Forget that jabroni! Look now! ZOMBIES led by Wanda infest the ring and immedatley start clubbing and pounding away at Gretchen and Cassidy! “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE This is terrible! COACH You can only blame Sophie and Jesse Ferguson for this. Big Wanda throws Gretchen to the ground, then comes off the cables to hit a big splash on the Delta House president that leaves he groaning in agony! “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!” Pierette and Number Two coming running to the aid of the leaders, throwing bombs and punches in an effort to ward off the zombies. But, CLEM BUZZLEFOXER arrives to take take, and swats both girls in the back with a steel chair! “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOO” the audience hisses and Pierette and Number Two are dropped to their knees from the pain. Much to everyone's amazement, MORGAN NERDLY arrives all grins and smirks. She confuses just about the whole world as she lays Gretchen's arm across Cassidy's chest and rouses the referee to count... RENEE Hey! This doesn't make any sense! A cover.... ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! SHOULDER UP FOR CASSIDY! “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAA!” That result doesn't sit well with Morgan one bit. With annoyance rising across her face, the littlest Nerdly hauls the referee onto her shoulders and casually dismantles him with an f-u! RENEE Shock & Awe! COACH Yo, Morgan's purse gonna get hit with a serious fine! RENEE I think she should be fired! What in the heck is she thinking?! Morgan orders several zombies to attack Gretchen specifically, and they're quick to follow. But, aid arrives in the form of GORY DRAGAN! The boyish babyface starts unleashing punches upon the zombies that dare to attack Gretchen! RENEE Boy, I never thought I'd be glad to see a guy who killed his family in cold bold! This sparks something in the Delta girls and the all jump to their feet and en masse begin battling back against Morgan and the zombies! “YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Shit is brazy, b! Pierette and Cassidy join forces together and hands to deliver a crushing double lariat that takes two zombies out of the ring in the maggot filled horror! “DELTA HOUSE! DELTA HOUSE! DELTA HOUSE!” Clem pounces on Gretchen, tearing at her hair like a true zombie savage! But Gretchen bends her leg backwards and boots him in the stomach. Pained Clem staggers back towards Gory who hits a sliced bread into a facebuster! RENEE Red Sky Warning! Free of Clem, Gretchen cuts past zombie after zombie using fists and boots with expert precision. All this tremendous effort goes into finding Morgan. Finding Morgan and inflicting unholy damage! Gretchen finally reaches Morgan, but her pot of little Nerdly gold is hauled away by Jivin JR! COACH Awwww hell naw! JIVIN JR, that fat blubbery piece of shit hurries little Morgan off, leaving Gretchen empty handed. But no one is more dissapointed than Cassidy, who mutters “useless idiot hooker” behind Gretchen's back, spins her around and then hits a bang-a-rang! “OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!” RENEE Oxygen Holocaust!!!!! The cover.... ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Your winners and advancing to the conference finals of the Sable Bracket....CASSIDY MAGUIRE and CASSIDY NUMBER TWO! RENEE Wow! COACH Ain't nothing more needs to be said. Gretchen looks up at Cassidy with a hurt and wounded expression, but there's nothing but coldness and disgust in the glare Cassidy gives back. Number Two and Pierette are as stupid/oblivious as ever and shake hands and celebrate a job well done in the match and fighting off the zombies. On the top of the entrance ramp, Morgan and Jivin JR watch the scene, Delta Delta Delta in shambles and security trying to control the zombies. Papa Nerdly's little girl smirks to herself then walks off with Jivin JR dutifully following her as we... FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts