Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD The thumping beats of Party Like a Rockstar make their way into the speakers of Television sets world wide. Above the audio racket lies the current introductory video, which features the various main players of our ongoing melodrama. Each character is shown in a closeup with their name placed on the lower left side of the screen in crystallized orange letters. When the video concludes we're greeted by the logo...FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, The OAOAST, and The American Airlines Center it is time for HeldDOWN! No need for the opening preamble from the announcers this week as the all too familiar sound of "Getting Away With Murder" welcomes us to HeldDOWN~!, as the fans filling the seats in the arena rejoice upon the arrival of the OAOAST's favorite son. COLE Welcome to Dallas, Texas, fans! And here he comes...the number one contender, and the man that many feel should be the World Champion already! Zack Malibu heads down the aisle, slapping hands with some fans while keeping his normal focused demeanor. Clad in street clothes, it's obvious Malibu is not out here to fight, but that he has something to say. Three guesses as to whom the target of his wrath will be. He hops onto the apron and enters the ring, catching the mic thrown to him by Michael Buffer, and prepares to address the crowd. MALIBU We are just three days away, people. Three days away from Drek Stone's worst nightmare. Three days away from the harsh reality that I am going to END YOU, Drek! Malibu wastes no time in getting INTENSE~! with his promo, and the crowd loves every second of it. MALIBU By now, they all know the history, Drek. These people know what you've done. They've seen you, week after week for the last two years, try to do something you can't do, and that is bring this company to its knees! You tried to rally the troops, but when your Civil War plot cracked under the weight of too many egos, you high tailed it out of here as fast as you could, trying to free yourself of the blame! You pinned my shoulders to the mat for a three count at Angleslam 2005, and then what? You pulled a disappearing act, keeping yourself satisfied with that one win. You lucked out last year, because had it not been for my bringing in The Wildcards and everything that ensued, you'd have been gone a LONG time ago. The past year, your title reign, EVERYTHING, has been on borrowed time, Drek. When you finally got what you wanted...the OAOAST World Title, you never wanted it for anything other than a PROP. Something to use in your war against me, and this company. You didn't treat it as a title, as a championship, as a legacy...you treated it as a toy, as an AFTERTHOUGHT! COACH He's right, he did! I seen it! MALIBU You are not a champion, Drek. You don't have the heart for it. You're out for the same thing you've been out for since day one, and that is YOURSELF. You have no respect for me, for that locker room, for these fans...you have NO RESPECT FOR THE COMPANY THAT MADE YOU! What were you before the OAOAST, Drek? You were NOTHING! No one had ever heard of Drek Stone, and now the only way you keep your name in lights is through controversy! You have held this company...MY COMPANY...hostage long enough. You have avoided responsibility and retribution time and time and time again and I AM GOING TO PUT AN END TO IT! I swear on all that is holy, on the blood, sweat and tears of myself and everyone from the locker room to the camera crew to the caters who have put their sould into this company that I am TAKING IT BACK ON SUNDAY NIGHT! I am taking back the OAOAST World Championship. I am going to restore the honor and glory and prestige that was once bestowed upon it. I am going to take the sixteen pounds of gold out of the hands of the one man who did it wrong. There are guys in the back there, guys like Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, Jamie O'Hara...even guys like Landon Maddix, Tha Puerto Rican, guys I don't necessarily get along with, that would KILL to be given the opportunities you've had. They would KILL for that World Title, and while we're here week after week, busting our asses and stepping over each other to try and get to the top of the mountain, you're sitting pretty without a care in the world, blaming US for your actions! A court case? A GOD DAMN COURT CASE? You took us to court instead of fighting it out like a man, Drek. You think that makes you smart? IT MAKES YOU A COWARD! You want to be treated a certain way, then FIGHT FOR IT! You say that we're biased against you? That it's an unsafe working enviroment? You are DAMN RIGHT on that count, because I don't give a damn what your lawyers or my lawyers say...I...HATE...YOU. Everyone in this company HATES you, Drek. They hate what you've tried to do. Now, the only Civil War you've managed to accomplish is us against you. All of us, Drek...guys like me and Leon Rodez and The Hooligans and The Lightning Crew and Christian Wright...everyone, all the way down the line, are against you. We're against what you are, what you stand for, and what you've done. They're all ready to take you on, to take you out, and to sit on top of the world as a champion. As the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Because while I'm going to walk out of School's Out with that belt around my waist once again, if you think this is about just a title, you're mistaken. This is about our LIVES. This is what we do. I hate you enough on my own, Drek...but how can you withstand a company united, bonded by one common feeling, and that is the absolute disgust and disdain for YOU? You're not OAOAST. You never were. After School's Out, Drek, the only thing you're going to be...is history. Malibu, simmering with rage, drops the mic and glares into the hard camera before walking off, receiving a huge pop for his comments towards the World Champion. Zack hops out of the ring and powerwalks back up the aisle, his feelings clear for Drek Stone, as we fade to commercial.COMING UP NEXT***24/7 Title****Jacob Cross Vs The Cuban WallNEXT We return from commercial break focused on the announce team. COLE Up next we have the newcomer Jacob Cross taking on Cuban Wall for the 24/7 Title. COACH How did he get a title shot so quickly?? COLE I guess the OAOAST board liked what they saw. COACH Yeah well earlier today Cuban Wall didn't like what he saw. COLE What my colleague here is talking about is an incident backstage that we are going to show you right now. COACH Wow...you actually consider me a colleague?? COLE Just roll the footage. (EARLIER TODAY) Jacob Cross sits at a table backstage playing poker with the road crew. Jacob studies his cards for a few seconds before throwing down his bet. JACOB You sure you want to keep going Paul? I've already got most of your money. PAUL Hey I'm just getting warmed up. Jacob smirks and reveals his hand, which raises groans from all around the table. JACOB What can I say...I'm having a string of good luck. Suddenly a shadow appears over the table as the camera pans right to show a man standing over Jacob with the 24/7 title around his waist. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!! CUBAN WALL Who do you think you are?? JACOB Well I think I'm a lot of things. Some of which are, a good card player, a good looking man, and a damn good wrestler if I do say so myself. CUBAN WALL You've had one match here and you think you deserve a shot at my title!? JACOB Hey I can't help it that the higher ups around here think I'm the next big thing. CUBAN WALL You haven't done a damn thing to impress me boy! All you do is sit around and drink beer and play cards! You better hope that lucky streak you were talking about holds out if this is how you prepare for a match with me!! JACOB Gambling clears my mind. I would ask what clears yours, but something tells me it's already an empty slate. Wall suddenly grabs the edge of the card table and sends it flying. Cards, chips, and beers scatter all over the floor as everybody except Jacob makes a run for it. Jacob remains in his chair with his arms folded as Wall gets in his face. CUBAN WALL You better hope to God that you're ready or I will make a fool out of you in that ring! Wall knocks Jacob's hat off and walks away looking pissed. Jacob slowly reaches down and grabs his hat before standing and placing it back on his head. He then looks in the direction Wall left and smirks to himself. JACOB Oh I'm ready my friend. Don't you worry about me. Jacob then walks away as we fade out. (WE CUT BACK LIVE TO COLE AND COACH) COLE It looks like Jacob is making friends already. COACH Well can you blame Wall for being angry? He's facing a man who hasn't been around long. Wall doesn't know much about this guy! COLE Are you trying to say that Wall isn't ready for this match. COACH No I'm trying to say that there is an unfair advantage. COLE Well from looking at Jacob's match last week I would say these two have similar styles. So what does Wall have to worry about? COACH You know what, Wall can handle this chump so I'm not worried. COLE I would hope not. You're supposed to be an impartial commentator. The opening notes of “Wherever I May Roam” hit and the crowd is on their feet. COLE Here comes Jacob Cross and the fans are taking a liking to him so far. COACH Well of course. He's homeless, drunk, bully...half of this crowd probably sees him as the perfect role model! COLE Oh don't start with that again. Jacob Cross walks through the sliding doors as the song picks up the pace. He takes a second to look around the arena and take in the sight of the crowd. Jacob is sporting a brand new cowboy hat after what happened to the old one two weeks ago. He begins the walk to the ring and circles around one time to take in his surroundings. BUFFER This match is scheduled for one fall and is for the 24/7 Championship!!! Introducing first, from Wherever he may roam, weighing in at 225 pounds....”THE DRIFTER” JACOB...CROSS!!!!!! YEAHHHH!!!!!! COLE Cross is always aware of his surroundings. It's like he's planning his attack. COACH Or maybe he's scouring the crowd for a beer? COLE Oh for crying out loud! Jacob finally enters the ring through the ropes, with his hand on his hat to keep it from falling off. Once inside he takes off the hat and the necklace before handing them to a ring attendant. His music then dies out and is replaced by... LIGHTNING CREW!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!! “No Chance in Hell” by Bradley Royds begins to play and the fans are booing loudly as Cuban Wall's face appears on the angletron. Smoke fills the entrance way and Cuban Wall walks out of the sliding doors with his eyes on the ring. COLE He still looks pissed. COACH He needs to stay pissed and he needs to take all that out on Jacob Cross! BUFFER Introducing next. He is the reigning 24/7 champion...from Havana, Cuba, weighing in at 285 pounds...CUBAN...WALL!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!! Wall punches the air a few times as he walks towards the ring, never taking his eyes off of Cross. He then ascends the steps and enters the ring before heading for the turnbuckles. He poses and makes the Lightning Crew salute to a chorus of boos. His eyes still do not leave Cross as he hops down and shadow boxes a little more. COLE Wall is burning a hole into Cross with that stare. COACH He wants him to know that he's in the big leagues now and not some backwater bar! The two men stare at each other as Buffer leaves the ring and the ref calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Cross comes in for a lock up and ends up with a face full of right hand from Wall. Another right hand and another knock Cross back against the ropes. Wall than quickly grabs him by the arm and whips him across. As Cross comes back Wall hits a vicious shoulder block that sends Cross to the mat. COLE Wall is coming out aggressive against Cross! COACH He wants to teach him a lesson. I think Wall is insulted that some rookie got a title shot so quickly. Cross is up quick and Wall meets him with a right and a left hand. He then grabs him by the arm and pulls him towards him, but Cross ducks under Wall's arm and hits the ropes behind him. Cross then blasts Wall with a clothesline as he turns around, but Wall doesn't go down. Cross quickly follows up with a couple of forearms to the chest that knock Wall into the ropes where Cross whips him across the ring. Cross then nails a flying shoulder block that takes Wall off his feet and quickly goes for a cover. COLE Cross with the first cover. 1...no!!! COACH Wall is stunned! Cross sees Wall getting back up and meets him with a knee to the gut and a clubbing forearm to the back of the neck, followed by two more clubbing blows. He then pulls Wall back upright and whips him into the corner. Cross follows him in, but Wall springs right out of the corner on impact and almost decapitates Cross with a clothesline! COLE Oh wow!! COACH Welcome to the big time Jacob!! Wall makes a nonchalant cover. 1 No!!! COLE He's going to have to hook that leg! Cross is up shortly after Wall and Wall takes advantage by popping him with punches to the midsection. Cross manages to block a punch and fires off with his own taped fists. Cross stuns him with a punch to the face and quickly whips him into the ropes and goes for an Arn Anderson-like spinebuster, but Wall hooks Cross's head and shifts his weight so that Cross cannot take him over. Wall now has him hooked for a Double Arm DDT, but Cross goes dead weight on him and drops to his knees. COLE Both men use that move, so it's expected that both men know how to counter it. COACH Another unfair advantage! COLE How is that unfair!? Wall pulls with all his might to get Cross back into position, but Cross breaks his arms free and lifts Wall back up before nailing the Spinebuster and going for a cover. 1 2 No!! COLE Shades of Arn Anderson with that twisting spinebuster! COACH Yeah but unlike Anderson he didn't win the match with that move! Cross readies himself as Wall stands and quickly nails him with a STO before making another cover. 1 2 No!! COLE Cross is hitting him hard and fast. COACH Yeah but not hard enough or fast enough. Cross pulls Wall to his feet and pulls him into a shoulder block, but he doesn't let go of the arm. He pulls him again into a shoulder block and still holds onto the arm. A third time him pulls him in, but this time Wall blasts him in the side of the face with a forearm. Wall then quickly scoops him onto his shoulder and nails him with a Shoulderbreaker. Cross falls to the mat in pain and Wall begins laying the boots into the hurt shoulder. COLE Wall senses blood and that's not good for Cross. COACH Tear him apart! Wall then pulls Cross to his feet and rams him shoulder first into the corner. Before Cross can even turn completely around Wall sandwiches him in the corner with a hard Avalanche! COLE Cross wasn't turned all the way around. I think his shoulder took the brunt of that Avalanche! Cross looks hurt as Wall pulls him the arm on his hurt side and whips him hard across to the other corner. Cross stumbles out right into the arms of Wall, who lifts him with a double choke. COLE Could this be the Wallbreaker? Wall then shoves Cross hard into the corner turnbuckles again, making sure that Cross lands shoulder first! This time as Cross stumbles out Wall picks him up in the Fall Away Slam position. COACH This is all over. Jacob Cross is nothing but a short lived flash in the pan. COLE Don't count him out yet! Wall then slams Cross's shoulder into the turnbuckle and then carries him to the next corner. Wall drives him into the next turnbuckle and smiles to himself as he is in total control. He then slams him into the final two corners and nails a Powerslam to finish it off. COLE I don't know if Cross can kick out after that. 1 2 No!!! COACH This idiot is going to end his career right now if he doesn't just give up. Wall will make an example out of him! Wall then drops an elbow down onto Cross's hurt shoulder and quickly grabs the arm for an Armbar. He wrenches back hard and then turns it into a Hammerlock behind Jacob's back. Cross is obviously in pain, but he still fights to get his foot onto the nearby rope. COLE If he can just reach a little farther he can break the hold! COACH Now who is being partial!? COLE I was just stating a fact! Wall doesn't give him the opportunity as he pulls him up by the arm and scoops him into a body slam with the arm still bent behind his back. Cross lands hard on his arm and shoulder and winces in pain. COLE Wall is methodically taking away Jacob's arm so that he has the advantage in strength. COACH That's the mark of a real champion! Wall quickly goes for a cover. 1 2 No!!! COACH Cross is an idiot. His career may be young, but he's not. He can't risk it all for one match! COLE So are you saying he needs to just quit whenever things get rough? COACH No...just be a little smarter. Wall waits for Cross to stand and grabs him by the throat. He then goes for a big Choke Slam, but Cross breaks free as he's lifted off the ground. Cross lands back in front of him and kicks Wall hard in the gut. As Wall doubles over Cross goes for the Dead End (Double Arm DDT), but Wall pulls the same move Cross did earlier and drops to his knees. COACH What a smart move! COLE Gee I wonder where he got the idea. Instead of going for it again Cross lets go and blasts Wall in the face with a kick. Wall falls to the mat and Cross quickly goes to the second turnbuckle. COACH Oh what a cheap shot! Cross then comes off for a Second Rope Leg Drop, but Wall moves and Cross hits nothing but mat. Wall is up quick and waiting for Cross to stand. He then plants a kick to Cross's gut and goes for a Powerbomb. As Wall pulls him up Cross begins laying in the punches to Wall's head and Wall has no choice but to let him go. Cross lands on his feet and begins to unload with the punches. Lefts, Rights, jabs, hooks, after a flurry of punches that stun Wall he winds up and nails him with one last big one! COLE One for the Road!! COACH Yeah, but Wall didn't go down! Wall stumbles into the ropes and Cross meets him there to whip him across the ring. As he pulls him off the ropes he pulls him right into a Short Arm Clothesline. Wall falls down hard and Cross makes a cover. 1 2 No!! COLE Cross with a flurry of offense, but no three count! COACH Maybe he has some fight in him after all! Cross comes up shaking his arm out to get some feeling back and waits for Wall to stand. Cross wastes no time in hooking Wall for the Tumbleweed (Exploder Powerslam), but with his hurt shoulder Cross can't move quick enough. Wall punches his way out of the move and then lifts Cross onto his shoulder. He then goes for a Death Valley Driver, but Cross breaks loose and takes him over into a Crucifix Pin. 1 2 No!!! COLE What a counter! COACH Dammit...this Cross guy is for real. Both men are up around the same time and they lock up quickly. Wall overpowers him and drives him into the corner hard. He then backs up and goes for another Avalanche, but Cross catches him coming in and hits a Hot Shot right to the top turnbuckle! COLE Wall's head snapped back hard on that one!! COACH Damn!!! Wall falls to the mat and Cross goes for a cover. 1 2 3!! No!!! Wall kicks out at the last second! COLE I thought he had him! The fans let out a sigh as the ref puts up two fingers instead of three. Cross pulls Wall to his feet and right into a whip into the corner. He then follows right behind with a Clothesline that rocks Wall back against the turnbuckles. Wall falls into a sitting position in the corner and Jacob gets a smirk on his face. COLE He could be looking for that running knee to the face that he did two weeks ago. COACH That move shouldn't be allowed. He's gonna break someone's neck! Cross comes running in for the knee, but Wall gets a foot up and shoves Cross back...right into the ref. The ref is knocked off his feet and is stunned for the moment. Cross is momentarily stunned as well, which gives Wall the chance to get back to his feet. Wall goes for a Chokeslam on Cross, but he manages to break free and kick Wall in the gut. Cross then hooks him for the Tumbleweed. COLE This could be it!!! Wall hooks a leg around Cross's leg and blocks the move before Cross can lift him. Wall then shoves Cross back and nails him in the crotch with a punch. COLE What the hell!? Ref look up!! COACH Don't yell at the ref. That's not your job Cole!! Cross doubles over in pain and Wall grabs him for the Wallbreaker (Train Wreck). Wall lifts him up and plants him in the middle of the ring with the move. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Wall then yells at the ref to get his ass in gear before bouncing off the ropes and nailing Cross with the Lightning Crew Splash and making the cover. COLE Oh dammit not this way! 1 2 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH Told ya Cross wasn't ready!! BUFFER Here's your winner...and still 24/7 champion!!!! CUBAN...WALL!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Wall demands his hand be raised as Buffer hands him the 24/7 title. He lifts it high into the air and then yells at Cross. WALL You're not wrestling in bars anymore!! Welcome to the OAOAST!! Wall then exits the ring quickly as he sees the look of fury on Jacob's face. COLE I think he just pissed off the wrong man. COACH Oh who cares...Wall won the match! Cuban Wall heads back up the ramp as the ref helps Jacob to his feet, but Cross shoves the ref away and exits the ring himself to collect his hat and necklace. COACH Now that's just disrespectful to the ref!! COLE Since when do you care about the refs? COACH It's the principal of the matter! Jacob leaves the ring still looking pissed as he places his hat on his head and stares at the sliding doors that close behind Cuban Wall. COLE We need to take a commercial break, but we'll be back after this.FEMALE VOICEOVER You are watching OAOAST HeldDOWN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 After the break is over we're taken backstage to the OAOAST interview area where Maggie Nerdly is chilling with Chicks Over Dicks. The OAOAST's queen of the hype machine wears a ruffled black mini skirt over long black and white striped stockings, and a My Chemical Romance tank top. Leaning against the monitors that make up the backdrop is Krissy D. Or Krissy I.D, that sounds fresher. A half full glass of Chateau Margaux red wine rests between her finger tips. A medium sleeved pink top drapes her upper body, featuring whimsical red ribbons on the collar and sleeves. Her long legs are stashed into capri fit denim jeans. Alix wears a white and blue striped A&F polo shirt, along with widely flared superlight washed jeans. If you didn't understand that sentence step ya women's fashion game up, cracka ass. MAGGIE What's up ya'll? Maggie Nerdly your gal on the scene, chilling backstage with America's Sweethearts, Hollywood “It” Girls and, tag team champs, Chicks Over Dicks! ALIX Woah! Wait, what's going on? We already knew Terry Taylor had a distinct lack of testicles, but unless he got real blonde, and real cute, you're not television's most degenerate, pathetic comedy character since Chris Farley's Matt Foley Motivational Speaker. Perked up by the prospects of not having to think of any super “clever” insults to demean Terry Taylor with, Krista drags herself off the monitors. KRISTA Wow, with no Terry Taylor, It's like god's said "Hey Krista, pull the shotgun out of your mouth, take the Tylenol out of the bottle of vodka, and back away from the Golden Gate Bridge, because the sun'll come up tomorrow." So go head and ask away, gorgeous, because Miss Krista has new lease on this exasperating hell called life! MAGGIE Rock on, sweet sisters! Now, Theodore Moneymaker, the leader of The Enterprise has openly declared war on you simply because he despises gays and lesbians. In only a month he's shelled out over a million dollars in failed attempts to have the tag titles taken off you.... KRISTA Someone needs to wake up the peglegged hamster operating that wheel-powered brain of his, so he can actually explain the purpose behind all this. The man has billions upon billions of dollars, could use the eager and willing mouthes millionaires as his personal toilet, but instead of using his money to hire a personal trainer to ensure his tons of fun ass isn't casted for the next season of Celebrity Fit Club, he's using it to attempt to “restore” the “prestige” of the tag team titles by getting them off us. Pourquoi? MAGGIE Because he's a crazy a bigot, who took his life lessons from the first half of American History X? KRISTA Exactly! A gold star for you, my love. Now, keep in mind that the previous holders included The Sooner Bruisers, a gang of a semi-human barbarians, who's skin would be better used as an overcoat to keep those who's life actually has meaning warm in the winter. And of course there were The Rockers, a collection of stone stupid, diseased ridden dope fiends. Don't believe the last part? Don't be so naive, young Margret! They're so addicted that if the best way to get high was to put crack on the tip of a kitchen knife, and jam it repeatedly into your stomach, they'd be at Bed Bath and Beyond hunting for the sharpest butter knife before heading down to WAL*MART to grab a dozen Ace Bandages. And hey, I can drop insults on them all I want, I paid sixty bucks and sold my gardener into the middle eastern slave trade in order to import their Ramadan album, and it's just Synth humming the Mary Tyler Moore theme song! While Krista suffers through buyers remorse, Ally leans the single microphone towards her bubble gum pink lips. ALIX If I have one question it's how come Carl reactivated Urkelbot in that episode of Family Matters? Didn't he learn the first time that the robot was bad news? And if I have another question, it's what's Theodore wanna gain by taking the belts away from us? I don't really get it, ya know? After we lose the titles does he think every lesbian and bi-sexual woman is gonna wake up the next morning and say, “You know what I'd really like for breakfast? Penis.” MAGGIE No doubt, it's a pretty stupid plan. But his last name is Moneymaker not Einstein. What can you expect? KRISTA Maggie, we live in such a homophobic world, and I don't mean to do the un-zen thing and turn this into an us versus them duality, but they don't want us to have anything! They don't us to have kids, they don't want us to teach kids, they don't want us to get hitched... ALIX And then they'll even invite you to weddings and get hella butthurt when you don't wanna go! Oh my god, what is that? Why don't you go back to the 1860's and say “Hey, black man, how 'bout ya come on down and watch me vote?” KRISTA Gee, sweetie, not making paint chips part of a complete breakfast has really improved your IQ and comedic timing. You go girlfriend! Maggie, they don't want us in the military, and the armed forces is so desperate for people they changed their old slogan from “We're looking for a few good men.” to “We're looking...eh, screw it just shove the crack in your pocket and get your dumbass in the god damn van.” They don't even want us in church! Church will take everyone, Maggie, it's like non-credit community college with Jesus and holy water! Wife beaters, drug dealers, pimps, serial rapists, murders, hookers? Come on down to the party, ya'll! Charles Manson can decorate the Christmas tree, but Gertrude Stein's gotta stand outside, face pressed against the window, looking all sad like Charlie Brown when he didn't get invited to Lucy's birthday party. Now, given all that you'd think the tag titles of a low rated basic cable television show, might slip bellow their radar. But Jerry Falwell's ghost has already told Theo to call to the repo man and get 'em back! ALIX It gets so worse then that though! People like Theodore Moneymaker can't bring themselves to even let us have homosexuality, they're always trying to find ways to convert you. Seriously, I could not tell you the amount of times I've been in downtown LA and I get some dude running up to me screaming, “My Latino sister, my Latino sister! The end is near, the end is near, the end is nearer then it's ever been! If you wish to get through the gates of Heaven you must give up fornication, masturbation, homosexuality, bestiality, recreational drug use, and child molestation.” KRISTA There goes my weekend! ALIX I like how bestiality is better then homosexuality on the list of super awful things that God really freaking hates. Attention ladies! If you're gonna covet something of thy neighbor's make it Fido, not his wife! KRISTA But the worst thing is when every guy in America knows you're a lesbian, and every guy in America thinks he can be the guy that'll be the reason your daughter stops singing I saw mommy kissing Mrs.Calus. They think you're so desperate to hook up with a man, that won't even bother to put any effort into it. “What's good girl, yo ass cheeks looking real fine in them pants. Let's see how they look with me stuck between.” Uh, no thanks, darling. “What's up girl? You don't like chocolate?” Oh no, I love chocolate, I just like it without nuts. ALIX They think you have to look a certain way also! Like you have to be a fifty footer, someone who you can tell is a lesbian from fifty feet away. Krista gets this all the time, "Oh, but you don't look like a lesbian." Oh, she's one of those bran new undercover dykes, babe, she gets ya by surprise. You think you're just signing up for her yoga class, and before ya know it you're picketing congress and listening to Sarah McLachlan! MAGGIE You know what? I really want to be the one who tells you things are getting better, but I guess I gotta be the one to dish out some majorly bad news. I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but.... ALIX Many Americans might think it would be a really cool idea to rent a videotape to record footage of Krista's grandfather peeing on birds in the park, and have the first viewing for the footage be at his 90th birthday party? I already knew that, Maggie! And I'm here to drop a PSA on everyone and say that is a......killer idea! MAGGIE I see Ally stays up to date on what's going down. But how about you Krista? Are you aware that Theodore Moneymaker has used his power as the third largest investor in TSM to book an eight person tag team match pitting you and D*LUX against The Enterprise team of The Beverly Hills Blonds, Christian Wright and CPA at Schools Out? KRISTA I'm aware of many things, pretty lady, such as that Alix should strongly consider sleeping with both eyes open and a hand on a glock. What I'm not aware of is why in Buddah's name would Theo assume those four chuckleheads could ever beat a team that's torn through every major oaoast tag team in existence. MAGGIE Well, I think all four of them are hot garbage, but Christian Wright actually managed to nail down a HI-YAH world title sometime before this years' Anglemania wardrobe malfunction. KRISTA Wow, Wright was the champion of a promotion that only about sixteen Americans have ever heard of, and these same sixteen people have probably been prominent features of Dateline's To Catch a Predator, congratulations, my mans, you're an inspiration to a guy who said sex with a thirteen year old would be the sweetest greatest pleasure. Shine on you crazy diamond, shine on. And how long were you the world champion? Three months? A quarter of a year? Fantastic accomplishment, you should feel honored and esteemed, unfortunately it doesn't change the fact that you still have to pay for sex. Hey, maybe after the show, you and Terry Taylor can mosey on down to the street corner and see if you can score a friends hump free discount from Mrs.Moneymaker. ALIX If you squint real hard, you'll swear the genital warts look like a tattoo of Mighty Mouse. KRISTA Look, here's the final 4-1-1 for you, little miss sunshine, if those four are what Theodore likes to call a threat, then they're about to meet what I like to call an ass whupping. It will be a slaughter, it will be the most savage and horrific crime in American history, it will be the end of the Enterprise as we know it, and it will be on pay view for the low-low-low price of forty nine dollars and ninety nine cents! And speaking of things worth ninety nine cents or less, we come to Mackenzie DeCenzo! I'm kidding, love, your beauty and class is worth it's weight in Gwen Stefani albums alone. After we turf the world's boringest mid-90's WWF ripoffs out of town, you're gonna need a new place to put your uh...masters in “oral persuasion” (wink wink!) degree to use. Allow me to invite you to my seven bedroom, seven bathroom, fifteen million dollar landmark estate in Beverly Hills. I'm sure it can't compare to the lovely one bed room apartment Ned's got in Playa Del Ray, aka a garbage dump with a mayor and skinheads, but my doors, amongst other things, are always open for sophisticated woman like you. MAGGIE A shout out to Mackenzie, and for the rest of Enterprise, stay back, because at Schools Out, you just may get taken to school. Ally, Krista, thanks a bunch, you've been wonderful. For now, let's flip it over to Mean Gene who's about to chill with my awesome big sis, Melody. Gene-O? Maggie ain't no liar, because backstage, broadcast Hall of Famer “Mean” Gene Okerlund is positioned at the interview area. OKERLUND Thank you, Margret, and thank you for staying with us, ladies and gentlemen. We’ll return to the ring for more live action momentarily. But I’d first like to welcome one of the most promising young tag teams in our sport today, along with their manager Melody Nerdly, Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels, the Lone Star Gunslingers! JOCK Yeeeeee-haw! Melody skips into view, a big smile on her face. Jock and Baron, they’re giddy but all business at the same time. OKERLUND They’re awfully excited, Melody. MELODY The entire state of Texas and parts of Mexico is excited as well, Gene. I just got off of AIM with Mr. Miyagi of HI-YAH promotions, and he’s informed me our request for a title rematch against the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew has been granted. We came so close to winning those belts once… What am I saying? We HAD those belts won. The cheap shot artists that they are, Rico and Lucius were ready to do some serious damage. If not for the Heavenly Rockers my boys might be standing before you tonight with stitches in their heads and faces! And we couldn’t have that because it’d have ruined the photo shoot we just did for Teen People. BARON That’s why Jock and I are out here. Not to talk about some photo shoot, but the Heavenly Rockers. We know how bad they want a piece of the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. They went on and done something that never should be done…and that’s mess with another man’s wife. Soul and de Janeiro, they’re a couple of bad dudes; unafraid to break a rule here or there. The Lone Star Gunslingers just want the Heavenly Rockers to know we’ll have their backs the same way they had ours whenever they and the Homewrecking Crew meet. MAN Hey, yo. Heads turn as a voice is heard off-screen, that of RICO DE JANEIRO. The King of Mardi Gras enters stroking his ‘stache as only he can followed by a strutting and ‘fro combing “Sweet” Lucius Soul. RICO Did I hear correctly? Did the afro pickin‘, ‘stache stroking, finger licking good tag team hear you guys say we’re bad? Mang, you ain’t seen bad yet. Wait until we get through with the Heavenly Rockers Sunday night. OKERLUND Hold on just a second, Rico de Janeiro! Are you saying you and Lucius have accepted the Heavenly Rockers challenge for School’s Out? LUCIUS You deaf or something’, foo‘? OKERLUND No, I just wanted to confirm… RICO Well let me confirm this for you, chico. Yeah, we accept their challenge. But it’s non-title. Logan said they didn’t care whether the belts were on the line or not, and that only made our decision easier because they ain’t even in contention for a shot at our straps. The Lone Star Gunslingers on the other hand…heh… Hey, we got no problems defending our tag titles against you two chumps. We’ve wiped the floor with you once and we’d do it again. MELODY Pfft! WhatEVER! You’ll be lucky to even defend your titles if Synth and Logan don’t kill you at School’s Out. Ooh, they mad, sucka. LUCIUS (chuckles, licks chops) You talk pretty big for such a little girl. Tell me, you free on the weekends? I can hook you up with a guy who can make you some easy money. Of course, since I’d have discovered you, I’d get a cut of the action, as would my friend. JOCK Who do you think you’re talking too? This ain’t no lady of the street, fella. I think you owe her an apology. LUCIUS Make me…sucka. JOCK I believe we have ourselves a failure to communicate. Jock reaches back and pops Soul in the face! LUCIUS Oh, it’s ON now. Lucius retaliates and a pier-six breaks out backstage with the Gunslingers and Homewrecking Crew going at it. Gene and Melody head for cover while OAOAST officials storm the area. We cut to Sofa Central to find a stunned Michael Cole and Coach. COACH COLE You can tell summer is approaching because the intensity is already heating up! Right now we head to commercial break.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 As the female voiceover runs down the sponsor list we see an outside shot of the arena...OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by...Verizon Wireless-Join In By Monster-Post Your Resume Today And By Citi-Let's get it done Massive Syrian and Canadian flags unfurl on each side of the Angletron, drawing a harsh reaction from the Texas audience. The lights dim to a swirling dark blue blaze as Hate me Now pumps into the arena. From the parting entrance doors emerges a man still seeking his first OAOAST victory, Abdullah Abir Nerdly. Outfitted in baggy blue shorts featuring an intricate tiger design on the left side, he extends his arms into the air, then brings them down in a worshiping motion. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of ten minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada by way of Damascus, Syria...he weighs in at one hundred eighty three pounds, he is the Syrian Prince and an Inspirational Leader, he is ABDULLAH ABIR NERRRRDLLLY! AAN strolls down the entry way, jamming his index finger into his chest as he informs the nearby spec tators of his athletic and mental superiority. COLE Abdullah Abir Nerdly had a very good showing against newcomer Jacob Cross a few weeks back. Tonight the competition is little easier of Abdullah, but we can't put anything past his ability to lose. The camera focuses on Abdullah's opponent for the night. A well built man, in his early twenties, a tattoo of Bugs Bunny holding a machine gun rests prominently on his left shoulder. His lean hips and posterior fit comfortably in bright green bicycle shorts. Beneath his wispy blond hair rests a toothy grin, he's obviously thrilled to be in the OAOAST for the next two minutes. BUFFER And currently in the ring, he stands five feet ten inches and weighed in at one hundred eighty one pounds. From Alton, Illinois he is BOYD WILSON! DING DING DING! A lock up begins this highly anticipated (LOL!) affair. Wilson is able to use his small strength advantage to begin to force the Syrian towards the corner. However the adopted Nerdly son employs his shrewd technique and flips Wilson head over heels with a fireman's carry. The Alton native quickly rises to his feet, but can mount no offensive attack as Abdullah punishes him with flesh searing knife edge chops. After the sixth chop concludes, Abby snakes his arm around his foe's neck for a side headlock. The move doesn't last very long however, as Wilson shoves his rival into the ropes. The enhancement talent readies to paste Abir Nerdly with a lariat, but Abby snuffs this plan out by flooring him with a high knee lift! In celebration over executing that simple move, Nerdly stands with his arms raised to his side and yells “Praise be to Abdullah!” COLE He's cocky despite having absolutely no reason to do so. COACH He's a Syrian prince! COLE Really? Is that right? Because I bet if you go to Syria, you'll find 99.9% of the population have never heard of him. AAN scoops his anguished foe off the canvas, and once again traps him into a side headlock. This time, Wilson seeks to utilize raw power to break himself away from the grip. But despite his massive efforts, he meets nothing but failure as Abdullah takes him down to the canvas with a headlock takedown. Trapped within a vice grip, Wilson struggles mightily to free himself from the clutches of the hated foreigner. Yet he only achieves freedom when Abby releases him in order to pump stomps into his midsection. Wilson fights through the wave of attacks to head to a vertical base. Once he reaches an upright position, he unleashes a round of crowd popping punches onto the heel. COLE Wilson is on fire, Coach! I think we need to see more of him and a little less of Abdullah! Or how about a lot less of Abdullah? Wilson attempts to to pulverize Abs with a DDT. But he's unsuccessful as AAN desperately shoves him into the cables. Emitting a feral roar, the Alton native rumbles back to steamroll AAN with a spinning wheel kick! As a few fans applaud for the shower of power, Wilson covers his foe.... ONE A quick kick out follows, momentarily dashing Boyd's hopes for victory. He brushes aside his disappointment quickly enough to lead AAN to his feet. Abby is punished with an arm wrench, then slung into the ropes. Upon his return Wilson pushes him to the canvas with a dropkick. Another pin follows.... ONETWO But Nerdly avoids his fourth oaoast loss with a sudden kick out. He leaps to his feet under his own violation, and with anger filling out his features, he slams elbow strikes into the head of his rival. After the eighth blow leaves Wilson suitably dazed, Abby whirls his limber body around to obliterate him with a spinning back fist. But Wilson counters by diving low and dragging Nerdly into a roll up pin. ONETWO Once again AAN shoots himself out of the pinfall, then speeds away from his fiery rival. But Boyd is quick to stay on top of him, clubbing him with furious forearms. Abby ends these vexing blows with a terrible cheap shot, raking his fingers through his rival's eyes. As Wilson struggles with his vision, Abby scurries onto the second ropes. When the man nears the Syrian warrior, Abdullah launches himself from his perch to chop him down with a diving lariat! COLE Abdullah seems to be making a comeback against this surprising youngster. But will his arrogance get the better the of him? Clutching his injured chest, Wilson scrapes himself off the canvas. Behind him creeps the Arab superstar, hands outstretched, lips curled into a savage smile, body ready to pounce for a chokeout attempt. But Wilson delays such a tactic by whirling around and catching his foe square in the jaw with a discus punch. The tremendous force of the blow propels a wad of spit and blood from Nerdly's mouth, and dumps him into the ring ropes. Emitting another primal roar, Wilson makes a sudden dash to AAN, seeking to knock him over the ropes and onto the floor. But Abby counteracts this technique by dipping low and slinging the New Englander over the cables. Owing to his great agility, the youngster succeeds in landing squarely on his green and gold boots. Unfortunately this makes him a prime target to be assaulted by a snarling Abdullah. Wilson greets the maniac's charge by ramming a shoulder block into his midsection. He then leaps over his foe's body and back into the ring with a sunset flip. Abby is adamant in his refusal to go down and frantically attempts to stay erect (only the 1500th most homoerotic sentence I've ever written). Wilson is not deterred by AAN's resilience and exerts a mighty tug on his rival's shorts. COACH Come on Abdullah make something happen here! Heeding Coach's loudly stated advice, Abdullah drops down onto Wilson's chest, trapping the youngster into a pinfall. In a damning indictment of his skills, or lack thereof, AAN actually has to hook onto the ropes in order to complete the fall. The referee counts the pin... ONE TWOTHREE! COLE Abdullah Abir Nerdly has done it tonight! Two months in the oaoast and he finally scores his first victory! Could it be the first of many? COACH No. Absolutely not. But have you seen the breasts on his two sisters? BA-DAM! You can never get two down on life when you got those funbags staring at you everytime you go back to the frozen north. The fact that this is his first win within the OAOAST ring isn't lost on young Abdullah! He runs a frenzied lap across the ring, joyously pumping his fists into the air, saluting the crowd who are totally indifferent to his “accomplishment”. Abby finally manages to compose himself, and drops to his knees where he gives thanks to himself for being such a “fantastic” competitor. While someone informs Abby that's it's just pro wrestling, man, ease up, duke, we'll go to another commercial break.COMMERCIAL Once we return from those thrilling advertisements we're backstage in Tony Schiavone's Mobile Studio AKA The OAOAST Update Center, Schiavone trying to escape back to the glory days of 80s NWA. His nostalgia is interrupted by the fact we're on live TV however, waking him from his daydream. SCHIAVONE Tony Schiavone backstage at the OAOAST Update Center, where we are just 3 nights away from the OAOAST's next PPV prsentation, School's Out 2007! We will be coming to you live from Houston, Texas with the World Heavyweight Championship on the line, finally, as Drek Stone honours his commitment to take on Zack Malibu in a rematch from AngleMania. Plus, of course, the ominous Hell In A Cell structure will be looming over the ring ready for Tha Puerto Rican to take on Bohemoth. A lot lot more on tap besides those two huge matches of course, including a special eight person tag team match announced not to long ago, with The Enterprise consisting of The Beverly Hills Blonds, CPA and Christian Wright to take on D*LUX and the World Tag Team Champions Chicks Over Dicks. And joining me right now, The Beverly Hills Blonds... On cue, The Blonds emerge from out of the shot, flanked of course by Mackenzie DeCenzo. All of the three have pretty sour looks on their faces, the solace of their Six Man Tag Team Title belts not even enough to cheer up Ned and Simon. SCHIAVONE A big night ahead at School's Out and a big night tonight, as you find yourselves as the last line of defence to your boss Theodore Moneymaker. Leon Rodez has gone through CPA, he's gone through Christian Wright, tonight he looks to go through you two men, with a partner of his choosing. MACKENZIE You know, there's a saying in life that you save the best 'till last. And while The Blonds may not be at the top of The Enterprise heirachy, they're clearly near it... SCHIAVONE So, you're saying that they're better than Christian and CPA? MACKENZIE I'm saying nothing of the sort and don't you dare try and create friction within The Enterprise before School's Out! We'll have you taken out of here before you can say "Jackie Gayda". Don't think we couldn't either. What I'm saying is, Teddy respects these two men to the highest degree. He's more than comfortable with The Beverly Hills Blonds as his so-called 'last line of defence'. With the best sports-entertainment tag team protecting his assets, how can he go wrong, after all? And let's just say, he's not at all worried about Leon Rodez. SCHIAVONE And you're not at all worried about Leon's choice of partner? The Blonds and Mackenzie all laugh... and then laugh a little bit louder, just to further their point. BLANCHARD Please Schiavone, give us some credit. We're the most decorated sports-entertainers going. We've won the OAOAST Tag Titles three times. Three times! Plus, those Japanese belts... SINGLETON HI-YAH. BLANCHARD ...yeah, hey buddy. Those Japanese titles, we won them. We were voted the 2006 Tag Team Of The Year by the Academy of Idiots and Morons, aka all the people in TV land and internet squalor land. And now, we're two-thirds of the OAOAST 6 Man Tag Team Champions as well! We've won everything that there is to win as a tag team. And we're supposed to be worried? By Leon Rodez and one of D*LUX? Or Leon Rodez and one of Chicks Over Dicks? Not a chance! He could bring them both and we'd still beat them, that's why we're six man tag champions. Hell, he can bring all four of his 'lost souls' along and we'll call ourselves the 10 Man World Tag Team Champions too, why not? SINGLETON The point we're trying to make is, Leon, we're a box-office smash! And let's face it, you're strictly 'straight to video' material. Simon makes a camera rolling hand signal as Ned laughs it up next to him. SCHIAVONE Well, The Be... MACKENZIE Not so fast! We want to take a moment to wish our good friend Paris the best of luck, fighting the predjudiced and misguided California police code. It's obvious to the world that a young lady of her religious conscience and above all else her wealth doesn't deserve to be thrown into the same squallid California prisons that Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia have spent their entire, ill-gotten lives dodging. And although I'm sure she doesn't need it, she has The Enterprise's full financial and political backing to fight her injustice. Be brave Paris. Continue to better our lives by your very existance. Choking back the tears, Mackenzie is comforted by Ned and Simon as they walk off set, with a destained Tony Schiavone watching on. COLE Oh, brother. COACH Wait, I'm confused, which Paris are they talking about? COLE ...Paris, Texas. COACH OH! ...wait, that's a town not a people. Now I'm even more confused! COLE Good. Try to sort yourself out during the commercial. BREAK!COMMERCIALCOMING UP NEXTLeon Rodez's quest for justice continuesSilky Smooth Leon Rodez and a mystery partner Vs The Beverly Hills BlondsNEXT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen.The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover)In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance.Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows.And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing.Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror....and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM.But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Jamie O'Hara looking off into the distance.The bitter world that they could unite... Shot of Team Heyross looking at each other, then turning to look at the camera with a smirk on their faces.And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement.World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? UFFER The following tag-team contest is your main event of the evening! "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)" Roll out the red carpet, it's main-event time on HeldDOWN~! Infact, take that last little snippet literally. A group of unfortunate stagehands come rushing out from the back unfurling a lavish red carpet for the arrival of The Beverly Hills Blonds! Simon and Ned swagger out through the entrance way with their title belts wrapped around their waists and cheesy grins plastered on their face, as Mackenzie follows her men. An even more unlucky stagehand heaves her director's chair behind as the trio stride down the red carpet to the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, being led to the ring by The Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise, Ms. MACKENZIE DECENZO! They hail from the socialite capital of America, Beverly Hills, California! Total combined weight, four hundred, sixty pounds... together, former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, former three-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions and CURRENTLY, two-thirds of the OAOAST World Six Man Tag Team Champions! Representing THE ENTERPRISE... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVEEEERRRRLLLYYY HHHIIIIIILLLSSS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As the lengthy intoduction winds down, Ned and Simon leave their titles with Mackenzie in her ringside seat. The Chief Financial Officer shows off the belts to the nearby camera briefly, before ordering the camera away once she's had her moment of publicity. COLE Ah, celebrities. So fickle. Ned and Simon remove their ring jackets and watch on intently, as "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company powers through the arena. "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd erupt as Leon comes through the entrance doors with similar power, marching down the aisle over the now bunched-up carpet. He thinks better of getting into the ring two on one with The Blonds though, hanging back at the bottom of the ramp. BUFFER And introducing the opponents... first, from Grand Rapids Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rodez's mouth curls as he glares at Ned and Simon, the arrogant Californians taunting The Silky Smooth One from the ring mocked faces of fear and sobbing at losing mock sisters. All the mocking just makes what happens next all the sweeter though... ...as the opening bass line of "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and the fans leap to their feet in response! NED & SIMON COLE Oh, MY!! It's fair to say The Beverly Hills Blonds are a little surprised, as ZACK MALIBU appears, peaking out from the hood of his entrance jacket and grinning to the fans! In the ring Ned and Simon are up in arms and demand that Charles Robinson force Leon to find another partner. Robinson just tells them to nut up or shut up, although not in so many words, I just like that phrase. BUFFER And his partner! From Providence, Rhode Island... he weighs in tonight at two hundred and five pounds... he is ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER And together, they are THE USUAL SSUUUUUUUSSSSSSPPEEEEEECCTTSSSSSS!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLEFormer World Tag Team Champions, The Usual Suspects!! And here we go!! With a pat on the back to his partner Zack suddenly storms into the ring with Leon right beside him, getting the jump on The Blonds to the delight of the Dallas crowd! *DINGDINGDING!* Paired off, The Usual Suspects back The Blonds into opposite corners, Zack on Ned and Leon on Simon. The re-united partners unload with right hands before turning their heads, showing no signs of any lost teamwork as they whip The Blonds out... into a mid-ring collision! Ned and Simon hit heads and end up virtually holding one another up. Until that is Leon sneaks up and grabs them both by their Blond locks, clanking their heads together with an old school DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! COLE There's a meeting of the minds for you! Zack peels off his entrance jacket while he's not needed, watching on as Leon throws Singleton through the ropes and to the floor right by the horrified Mackenzie. Zack then follows up with a clothesline on Blanchard, sending him up and over the top to the floor, the ring cleared and the fans whipped into a frenzy! "SUS - PECTS!" "SUS - PECTS!" "SUS - PECTS!" "SUS - PECTS!" Meeting in the centre of the ring, Zack and Leon beam as they exchange a MEGA-POWERS HANDSHAKE! COLE Man alive what a reaction! COACH This is completely unfair! Ned and Simon entered this match on the assumption it'd be against one of Leon's friends... Zack isn't Leon's friend, he's not Krista or one of those boyband kids. COLE No, he's Zack Malibu, number one contender to the World Title! And he and Leon are former Tag Team Champions. COACH But who did they lose the belts to? Ned and Simon. They'll be fine... doesn't make it fair though. As The Blonds regroup on the outside it's decided that Leon will officially start the match for his team. So Zack is left to lead the fans with some clapping, which further irks The Enterprise trio on the floor. With Rodez motioning for at least one of them to get back into the ring, Ned suddenly takes the lead and brushes his colleagues aside as he slides in, charges... ...and eats canvas from a drop toehold! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Ned climbs back up holding his face, not looking where he's going and ending up walking into a right hand from Zack from the apron! Wobbling around, Ned walks into a right from Leon! Which sends him right back into a right from Zack! And a big Bionic Elbow from Leon, knocking him down to the canvas! Tag is made and together The Usual Suspects send Blanchard off the ropes. Back on the apron Simon uses the full length of the tagrope to try and get down the apron for a blind tag, but fails and can only watch as Ned goes up and down with a Double Backbody Drop! Out goes Leon, as Zack makes the cover... 1... 2... No! Zack catches Ned on the way up with a side headlock to keep him from the tag. COACH I don't get what Zack is thinking. He's got the World Champion in three days, for the title, probably the last possible chance... and here he is risking himself in a tag team match? I don't get it. COLE Ever heard of the word 'loyalty'? Leon helped Zack out against The Wildcards and almost paid for it with his career. I guess Zack feels he owes him. COACH Well, if Zack ends up losing at School's Out, who'll owe who then? Leading his way up in the side headlock, Ned goes to the ribs with a couple of forearms to soften The Franchise up. Ned then backs Zack off the ropes and for the ride. But a shoulder block puts him on his back, where he's most comfortable. He's got mirrors on his ceiling, apparantly. Best not to dwell on that. Anyway, back in wrestling land, drop down by Blanchard forcing Zack up and over the top as he comes off the ropes. Again Simon goes wandering down the apron, this time without the tag-rope as he delivers a knee to the kidneys... ...which Zack shrugs off, knocking Singleton off the apron with a backfist! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Ned tries to take advantage of the distraction, but Malibu sidesteps him and brings him off the ropes with a Schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Hands clasped, Ned again tries to cut off the number one contender, this time with a double axehandle. He couldn't really have telegraphed it more though and Zack connects with a boot to the gut, leading Ned over to the Usual Suspects corner and bringing Leon back in. COLE The Beverly Hills Blonds are completely off their game here. I'm sure they hadn't banked on Zack Malibu being the partner, no matter how much it makes sense. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Leon! COACH Like I say, Zack never should have put himself in this position. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Zack! COLE He seems to be in a pretty good position right now. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Leon! Walking out of the corner with a hand across his chest, The Handsome Hustler pleads for mercy. If he'd hoped to get it, he would be sorely disappointed. If he'd hoped to lure Leon into an eyepoke though? Mission accomplished. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH That's why they're the best in the business! You back Ned and Simon into a corner, they come out fighting! COLE Yeah, they get desperate and starting gouging eyes and kicking low, that's when they're really dangerous. With Leon blinded Ned quickly gets the tag to Simon Singleton, who heads straight to the top rope and comes flying in with a simple but effective forearm brought down over the head. Making sure to rub it in Zack's face Simon then puts the boots to Leon, drawing Malibu into the ring and allowing Ned to rejoin the fray with some stomps of his own! Zack realises pretty quickly that all he's doing is distracting the referee but by the time he goes back to the apron, the damage is done and Singleton is standing tall, "rolling cameras" and taunting the crowd. "SI - MON SUCKS!" "SI - MON SUCKS!" "SI - MON SUCKS!" "SI - MON SUCKS!" With a front facelock Simon leads Leon up, executing a suplex and covering... 1... 2... Kickout. No worries for Simon though, pinning Leon down again to this time delivering a jumping knee to the chest. A second time Singleton drops the knee, making "money fingers" at Zack before dropping a climactic third. COACH What a Trilogy! You know those are all the rage nowadays. Zack manages to restrain himself from getting involved this time... 1... 2... ...until Singleton makes the cover and he comes in to break the count with a hard kick to the back of the head! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Mackenzie and Ned waste no time in getting on the referee's case but Malibu is safely back on the apron with the tag-rope in hand. In tags Ned now, looking to take his frustrations out on Leon as he leads him into a neutral corner, burying the knee into the gut. Rodez doubles over and quickly Ned grabs hold of two handfuls of hair before THROWING Leon backwards, the back of his head striking the top turnbuckle causing his neck to whiplash nastily! COLE And Blanchard going right after the neck! That's not the first time we've seen that since Leon came back and it sure won't be the last, that is a large bullseye on his body for any and every wrestler in the OAOAST to exploit. Realising better than probably anyone his partner's injury, Zack warns the referee to keep Ned off the neck. As Robinson explains there's nothing he can really do Ned then makes the point more self-evident as he leads Rodez into the centre of the ring and drops him with a Neckbreaker. With Leon writhing on the canvas, Ned taunts Zack some more. And this time he takes the bait, drawing in the ref and allowing The Blonds to make an illegal switch! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Smart! Smart move, Zack's judgment in that ring isn't always that great and he's still steaming after what he said earlier. The Beverly Hills Blonds, taking full advantage. COLE Taking liberties might be a better way of putting it. COACH No, no. If Zack's a hothead, that's his issue and it's something Ned and Simon are well within their rights to exploit. Singleton applies a front chancre on the mat and softens up the neck some more as finally Zack leaves, confusing Robinson to no end as the other Blond is now in the ring to when he last looked. Insistance from Mackie and Ned that the legal tag was made goes against the roars of the crowd. But the ref decides he could do without the hassle and asks Leon if he wants to give up. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With Zack as cheerleader, the Texan crowd begin to get behind The Silky Smooth One. It seems to be working too, as Leon starts to kick his feet in rhythm. COLE Leon is fighting for his sister here, you're not going to keep him down for long in something like this. COACH Oh, he's fighting for his sister, wah wah! Give it a rest already Mikey, she made her choice and she made it right. Drawing on the support of the crowd, Rodez begins to fight back up. Simon looks a little surprised at all this, trying to apply extra pressure on the presumably weak neck. But Leon keeps on fighting and drives Simon backwards... ...unfortunately, into the Beverly Hills district of the ring, allowing Ned to tag himself in. In he steps with a hard shot to the exposed ribs and the energy disappears from Leon and from the Dallas crowd. BLANCHARD C'MON ZACK! BE THE BIG HERO, YOU KNOW YOU WANNA! In steps Zack... ...and around Leon's throat goes the tagrope from Singleton! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Give me a break! COACH Again, smart wrestling. Zack is virtually wrestled out of the ring by Robinson, at which point The Blonds stop cheating and try to look innocent. They do enough of a job of it that the referee counts Ned's pin on Leon... 1... 2... NO! Another tag is made between The Blonds and together they send Leon off the ropes. Singleton executes a drop toehold, which co-incides with Ned coming in from the side with the point of the elbow to the back of the head, the double team move setting up the cover from Simon... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Frustrated, Simon drags Leon back up to his feet again. Ned extends his hand for the tag but he's denied for now as Simon has things fully in hand, connecting with a kick to the gut and doubling Rodez over for a Swinging Neckbreaker. However, the swing is swung through into a Backslide from The Grand Rapids Golden Child... 1... 2... NO! Both men climb right back to their feet... ...and Leon starts backpedalling... ...INTO THE TAG FROM ZACK MALIBU!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wuh-oh! In springs The Franchise, knocking down Simon as he tries to call for a time-out and knocking down Ned before he can even think about getting into the ring! Zack rushes back over to Simon and leans him back into the ropes, sending him for the ride with an irish whip and executing a big BAAAACK bodydrop!! COLE Zack Malibu, running rule! COACH Come on guys, get it together! Teddy's relying on you! With Ned thinking better of trying to get into the ring again... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...Zack connects with a knifedge chop on Singleton! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and, the wrestling rule of three is adhered to! However, just as Zack begins to build up to something big, he falls to a big knee to the kidneys from that wily Ned Blanchard, having snuck into the ring undetected. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A double irish-whip follows from The Beverly Hills Blonds, the most decorated tag-team in OAOAST history looking for one of their patented double-teams, ducking their heads ready for the Double Feature Flapjack. Zack manages to slam on the brakes though, kicking Ned up in the chest before SLAPPING Simon between the shoulder blades! COACH Unneccessary! Recovering quickly, Ned tries to catch Zack napping with a kick to the gut... CAUGHT! Zack catches the boot and spins Ned around, CAUSING HIM TO KICK HIS OWN PARTNER IN THE GUT! BLANCHARD As Simon doubles over, Zack then feeds in the shocked Blanchard with a big yell of 'BACKDROP!'. Not thinking straight apparantly, Singleton mistakes Zack's Rhode Island twang for Ned's Californian accent and instinctively stands upright, BACKDROPPING HIS OWN PARTNER! SINGLETON *SMACK!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE SCHOOL'S OUT!! SCHOOL'S OUT!! Singleton goes flying through the ropes from the Superkick, Zack quickly tagging out to Leon and clearing the floor for his partner as he exits the ring. And with Zack keeping a close eye on Simon, who's still seeing stars, in steps Leon, stalking Ned. COLE This doesn't look good for The Beverly Hills Blonds. Three down, one to go... Reeling around, Ned walks right into Leon. And with a double leg trip Leon takes The Handsome Hustler down AND APPLIES THE LIONTAMER!! COACH OH NO! COLE THIS IS WHAT BEAT WRIGHT LAST WEEK! Ned tries to fight the hold, but with the knee firmly in the back... *TAPTAPTAPTAP!* "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...he sees sense AND QUICKLY TAPS OUT!! *DINGDINGDING!* Mackenzie looks stunned as Leon releases the hold, throwing Ned away and allowing his hand to be raised. Quickly Zack slides in and pats his partner on the back, neither one in any mood for a big celebration. BUFFER Your winners of the match... the team of ZACK MALIBU and LEON RODEZ, THE USUAL SSSSUUUUUSSSSPPEEEEEEEECCTTSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What an impressive showing. Enough is enough and it looks like The Usual Suspects are tired of playing! For Leon, it's four down... and that leaves just one to go. For Zack, it's always been about one. Theodore Moneymaker, beware. Drek Stone, beware. We'll see you all at School's Out, goodnight! The last shot we get is of Leon and Zack shaking hands as we fade out.THIS HAS BEEN A PRESENTATION OF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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