Chanel #99 Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD RENEE We are rocking and rolling into your home on your TV, on your tablet, on your computer with OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Renee Young sitting beside the face that makes you run for your mace, Da Coach, on a night when the Miss Anderson Cup 2016 begins. COACH Let's get dis bitch popping then! ** Miss Anderson Cup: Men-U-Pause (Holly & Malaysia) vs. Gloss Angieacola & Sammi Cayley *** Of all the opening round bouts announced last week for the 2016 Miss Anderson Cup, the most eye catching of the bunch was in the Sunny bracke. The unpredictable Gloss teamed with the least experienced competitor in the tournament, Sammi, against the Miss Anderson Cup queens, Holly and Malaysia. RENEE Not only did Holly and Malaysia win the inaugural Miss Anderson Cup in 2013, they've been in 2 out of 3 Miss Anderson Cup Finals. COACH And made the Conference Finals each time. They're like the Spurs/Patriots of the Miss AC! RENEE More like the Warriors maybe. You need to win it all more than once to reach that class. COACH DAYUM~! I see a visit to Malaysia's dungeon in your future. Gonna restock on KY and tissue paper right now! As expected, Gloss carried the load for her team with Sammi tagging in for brief bursts of offense straight out a high school mean girl's playbook: hair pulls, face slams, kicks, etc. But that strategy only worked as long as Gloss and Sammi remained on the attack. Once Gloss got and work over good she had no choice but to tag Sammi and let her fight. RENEE Now it's all up to Sammi to carry her team while Gloss recovers! Double coconut scrambles the brains of Holly and Malaysia. Feeding off the crowd Sammi gets risky by her standards executing a head scissors takedown on Malaysia... COACH AAH! ...followed by a dropkick that knocks Holly out to the floor! Malaysia staggers to her feet and gets planted with a side Russian leg sweep! RENEE Song for a Sad Girl! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO!! Lorelei DeCenzo yanks Sammi off! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" RENEE What's Lorelei doing here?! Questioned by the ref the manager of OAOAST World Champion Tyler Bryant denies any involvement. Sammi is none to thrill with Lori and lets her know it... only for Holly to swoop in outta nowhere and leap over the top rope to the arena floor, dropping Sammi thrust-first on the apron! Sammi stumbles into the arms of Malaysia who delivers a fallaway slam with a bridge for the 1-2-3. Winners: Men-U-Pause, via pinfall. Post-match Lori cheers on Holly and Malaysia as they leave ringside, then lays the verbal smackdown on a laid out Sammi, paintbrushing the sister of the Money in the Bank holder. LORELEITell your precious brother the only person safe to fuck with is you. If he knows what's good for him, of course. After tonight I think he will. A fully recovered and pissed Gloss appears behind Holly and executes the Fang Bang! HOLLY Caught in Gloss's armbreaker Lori screams at the top of her lungs as she taps like crazy. Gloss breaks the hold as THE FLEX storms the ring and gets met by her man SPENCER REIGER who unloads on Tyler Bryant's personal bodyguard. Gloss joins Spencer and together they clothesline THE FLEX outside where Lori clutches her arm in agony. "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Gloss and Spencer help Sammi to her feet and hear it from the OAOAST Galaxy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 JESSE FREGUSON walks into his PC based lab to find a studious yet seductive Gretchen Wright... GRETCHEN Greetings, Jesse, I have been reading through your lab notes, and sad to say, you have earned yourself the seven lashings of dishonor. JESSE Me? I am a simple scientist, not a thief in the night, or a killer behind the gun. GRETCHEN My sense of rage with you is so severe I am likely to try to and stuff your genitals through a flaming bunson burner! JESSE Why me? What have I done wrong? GRETCHEN You have sided with the monster over humanity! JESSE I am not god. God takes sides. I am a scientist, science does not take sides. Science is always objective. That is the beauty of science. GRETCHEN It is mortifying that you would lie to my face! I have seen your research, you have enhanced Clem and his zombies. JESSE Or have I? GRETCHEN You would dare lie to me to my face, the honor of Delta house commands me to let Cassidy unleash her most tormenting magical spell upon your very anal cavity! JESSE Yes I made them stronger, but at the same point I have made them weaker. Finite. The goal of all living things is to reproduce. I did not think it fair that these dead thing should reproduce. Now I have limited their impact. No bite from a zombie, no scratch will pass on the disease. If you wipe them all out, you wipe them out for all existence. GRETCHEN You should not have strengthen them to do that. JESSE Science is objective. I had to keep the playing field equal. GRETCHEN I had resolved to strike you down, yet I will not. But if I any of my sisters finds pain at the hands of your enhancements, you will find pain from the business end of my parasol. Good day. Off Gretchen goes, to leave Jesse to his lab. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~!: Last week's Big IQ-Mr. Dick/Baron Windels tag title match is thrown out following CW's ankle injury. Post-match Mr. Dick leaves with the tag titles. Little concern for CW unlike his partner Baron Windels who stays behind dumbfounded. Back LIVE at the world famous backstage interview lounge stands OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood with BARON WINDELS and MR. DICK (one tag belt around his waist, the other over his shoulder) who's visibly agitated. Not a second passes before MD opens his mouth to complain about the coverage of last week's events. MISTER DICK Now I know how Donald felt Monday night. *shakes head* SARA JEAN What are you so worked up about? MISTER DICK The hit job that just aired, girlie. It seems the producers of this show want to make me out to be the bad guy. Make it look like I was a dick. Well like I told you all before, I'm not a dick. I'm a competitor. Winning means more to me than anything in the world. SARA JEAN You can't mean that. What about family? Winning can't be more important than that. MISTER DICK You're right, it's not. It means even more. SARA JEAN MISTER DICK You'd have to beat me within an inch of my life to stop me from fighting. So when I saw Christian Wright throw in the towel over a little boo boo... BW is like, 'Oh damn, don't say that, man.' MISTER DICK (CONT'D) ...it irked the hell outta me. SARA JEAN Wait a minute. CW suffered a sprain ankle that'll keep him sidelined a couple weeks. MISTER DICK How convenient. SARA JEAN (CONT'D) That's no "little boo boo." MISTER DICK Are you a doctor? SARA JEAN ... MISTER DICK Yeah. SARA JEAN Well, neither are you! MISTER DICK I'm an athlete. Which is the next closest thing. But you or anyone in the OAOAST Galaxy can't deny the referee committed a MAJOR boo boo in his decision. Feeling the heat from me and BW, CW panics and tweaks his ankle. Now in a full blown panic attack CW is unable to continue and the match gets called. Meaning we win the tag titles by forfeit, right? NOPE! Cuz the OAOAST hires from the NBA referee pool, I guess, so the match is ruled a no contest. Big IQ keep the titles and everybody pretends that whole mess never happened. Not a bad plan when it comes to 99% of the roster, but this BS happened to the 1% that won't take it up the ass! That's why I went home with the gold last week. That's why I hand one belt over to BW because we are the champions! MD places a tag belt over BW's shoulder which is immediately removed. BARON I'm sorry Jock, but what's done is done, man. We aren't the champs. I can't accept this. MISTER DICK BARON I do wanna wish CW a speedy recovery though. I know when he's back on his feet Big IQ will be more than happy to give us a rematch because they're competitors too. You know they hate how our match ended just as much as we do. MISTER DICK Have you heard that guy talk?! He's one of 'em-- *shakes wrist*! You think he's gonna wanna step back in the ring with a man like me-- men like us!? BW escorts MD off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 As HeldDOWN returns to the arena, we find a robed King Landon inside the ring, smiling though no one is pleased with his presence. KING LANDON A King should not heap praise upon himself. No he shouldn't He should not. Praise should be heaped upon him. Yes, oh yes. By his subjects. “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE Not these subjects. KING LANDON By fellow leaders and by those who served him. Yes, many have me, oh yes, yes. But so few have served me as well as one man. One monster, I call him because he is a monster! A monster of biblical proportions, indeed he is. Yes, no question. You feared him when I had him under my control, because a great king such as myself an control anyone, man or beast. Now he has come to give me praise ahead of my match with Lancel Locke for the United States title, and he will tell the United States champion has reign is coming to its end. “King Kong Symphony” hits and out walks Faqu, confused as all get out as to why he's been sent to the ring. RENEE Uh...this isn't going to end like King Landon thinks it will. COACH You tripping girl, Faqu knows King Landon from way back, he gonna say good things about him. RENEE Uh, he can't even speak a known language! Faqu enters the ring welcomed by King Landon and is brought to the forefront. KING LANDON Faqu! I welcome you again to my side. Yes, I welcome you. Yes I do. Please, tell the OAOAST Galaxy, the truth of my greatness. FAQU Blaargh? KING LANDON Whaaaa...perhaps a simpler question might not be such a bad idea, I think. Okay here's one, within how many minutes should it take me to destroy Lancel Locke? Four or five? FAQU Smmmargh? KING LANDON Those aren't numbers! They are not! Just tell the OAOAST Galaxy how much you admire me, and how you can't wait to see me tear apart Lancel Locke. FAQU Spparggh? KING LANDON Are you making fun of me?! RENEE He's not saying anything at all! You already know he can't talk! King Landon does determine he's being made fun of and pops Faqu with the microphone! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!” Again, King Landon hits him with microphone, hitting him so hard he knocks him to the corner. There the US Challenger smashes him with a sliced bread number two that has Faqu rolling out of the ring in pain. After that the King grabs the microphone. KING LANDON Did you see that, Lancel? What I did to a former ally? You're no ally of mine! No you are not! Worse is yet to come for you! The United States championship will leave Halloween Spectacular under the rule of King Landon Maddix! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE Lancel Locke will have plenty to say about that in Las Vegas for Halloween Spectacular. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 ***Silver Vs Daiskue Motozaki W/Amberlyn Duncan*** Teddy Buckworth was on special guest commentary for this bout. The King of Swag Style was over like a motherfucker with the fans, who like Amberlyn, adore his grandoise ways. SILVER If only people liked me as much as they like you. BUCKWORTH A pity there won't be anyone to visit him in hospital post Halloween Spectacular. Daisuke muscled his smaller foe to the ground and used some strong style, before popping up and flashing some odd hand movements that popped the crowd. Silver got up and did the same... “SILVER SUCKS! SILVER SUCKS! SILVER SUCKS!” BUCKWORTH He does far worse than that, and he will pay for it. Pay it in full. COACH I feel like I'm sitting next to a serial killer talking about his next victim! BUCKWORTH Crass, Coachman, I expected better from you. Silver has harmed me first, murdered me as a point of fact, and whatever I plan on doing to him I am well within my rights. Daisuke had Silver in the corner and shook his body as he stomped him, which again popped the crowd. After some more beatings, Silver took control of the match with some high flying moves. He then targeted Daisuke's legs with ankle lock efforts, but his foe fought out the procession of moves. RENEE Daisuke has totally turned it up a notch over the last year and we're seeing him going hold for hold with a former world champion. Silver went to the top rope but got hit with an avalanche back suplex that got him pinned for two. Daisuke tried for a deadlift German, but Silver slipped out and hit a super fast spinning heel kick! After that blow he applied the anke lock ala has uncle Anglesault and got the submission victory. Winner: Silver, via submission Post-match, Teddy stood up and applauded Silver and gave off such a fierce vibe that Silver hurried backstage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 RENEE So, guys, there's been this crazy twitter exchange going on between Tyler and Krista all day as Tyler continues his hold out and let's take a look. Quote @SERIALTHRILLER Crazy how washed up bitches can't handle their time out the spotlight. You know who you are. @FITWITHKID Enjoying being number one merchandise seller again! Love you all! @SERIALTHRILLER I'm still getting money and still the champion! No matter who tries to embarrass me! @FITWITHKID There's more to life than accolades and cash. Always spread your love. @SERIALTHRILLER God is gonna strike @FITWITHKID and @QUEENESTHER and @BADBOYBLAINE down! @FITWITHKID I no longer fear for my safety. @SERIALTHRILLER When I get back to the OAOAST... @FITWITHKID Watching the best of D-LUX DVD right now! @SERIALTHRILLER youre gonna get yours. @FITWITHKID Threatening phone calls....when will it end @SERIALTHRILLER @fitwithkid you haven't seen jack shit bitch @FITWITHKID God got me #loveeachother :wow: COACH Krista gonna troll Tyler into a the psych ward! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 “Eyes on Fire” by Zedarius hits and the boos are numerous. As they continue to rain down, Maggie Nerdly steps on stage, swigging from a wine bottle, beside her is Reagan Flanagan, shimmering in a beguiling smile and seducing robe. Reagan motions Maggie to follow her, and with another swing of wine the tiny Nerdly does just that. BUFFER The following contest is a first round match in the SABLE BRACKET of the 2016 Miss Anderson Cup, now making their way to the ring, representing THE MENAGERIE....MAGGIE NERDLY and REGAAAANN FLANNNAAGAAANNNN! “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!” RENEE Men-U-Pause advanced earlier tonight, and Maggie and Reagan are on orders from Leon to win this whole tournament. COACH Maggie's never been Hotties Tag Team Champion, but she's never had a steady partner, now with Reagan she's suddenly a threat. RENEE Yeah, if she can stay half way sober! Reagan disrobes to showcase her GILF body to the world, while Maggie sags against the corner posts, downing wine. “I like my ass up high, and my face down low Ass up high and my face down low I like my ass up high, and my face down low Ass ass high face face down down low I like my ASS ASS ASS ASS I like my ass up high, and my face down LOW!” “AUH” hits next and the fans sour moods turns to one of complete joy as the defending tag team champions hurry onto the stage. Sort of. Bobbi has to drag December by the arm, because December is half asleep. COACH Great way to start the tournament. BUFFER And their opponents, representing SUNRISE....ASSCAKE BOBBI CHEESECAKE....SLEEPING BEAUTY DECEMBER BELLE...the reigning and defending OAOAST Hotties Tag Team Champions...THE MARDI GRAS ASS WRECKING CREW! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE The champs are rolling into the Miss Anderson Cup after putting down The All XFL Network at AngleSlam. COACH Nothing like stealing another bitch's man. RENEE They didn't actually do that. December wakes herself up and joins with Bobbi in planting a kiss on the cutest guy they can find in the front row. Then the Sunrays slide into the ring and are ready to fight! DING DING DING Maggie and Bobbi start the affair against each other with Maggie being whipped into the ropes. The Death Veil Cutie ducks a lariat attempt, then comes back to hammer Bobbi with a shoulder block. But Asscake is to strong and refuses to go down. So Maggie tries again and again gets the same result. DECEMBER She should shoulder block you in the booty. That'd be funny because your glutes would totally separate her shoulder. BOBBI Good idea! Bobbi comes off the ropes herself and delivers a shoulder block straight to Maggie's ass! MAGGIE Damn! Shit! Pained by that move, Maggie hurries to her corner and tags in Reagan so she can deal with Bobbi's antics. Reagan enters slowly, which throws Bobbi off guard, and The Black Widow is able to nail her with a discus punch. With Bobbi wounded, Reagan bounces off the ropes and tries for a bulldog, but then Bobbi counters with an ass wrecking atomic drop! BOBBI Who wouldn't wanna spank a hot old lady! Its like beating on your grade school principal's butt! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Get it, girl! Regan eventually worms her way out of Bobbi's spanking, looking mighty pissed off. Now she's sick of dealing with Bobbi and gets the tag to Maggie! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOO!” Maggie enters the ring among jeers and trades punches with Bobbi. She thinks she wins out as she whips Bobbi into an empty cornet, but Asscake explodes from the turnbuckles to deliver a Thez press into a round of punching! As the fans cheer Bobbi on, Reagan has to hurry into the ring to shove Bobbi off her partner. COACH I don't think Bobbi was gonna quit if Reagan ain't get in there. RENEE Bobbi has some uh..self control issues. Maggie hops up but is tossed into the ropes by the Seattle native. When she returns she manages to block a hip toss, but then gets chopped in the pussy! MAGGIE Ow! What in the flying fuck?! Maggie gets no chance for revenge as a tag is made to December. Sleeping Beauty gets quite the pop as she enters the ring and trades hands with Maggie. The Death Veil Cutie wins the exchange with a thumb to the eye and then makes the tag with Reagan. Together the evil duo hook December and proceed to curse her with a slingshot double suplex that leaves her in a world of heart! COACH Yo, these bitches ain't playing! RENEE For real! They're using big moves like ten seconds into the match. Maggie clears out the ring and a pin is made... ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! Reagan proceeds to deliver a stomp to the throat then cruelly chokes away at December, forcing referee Brian Knobbs to make a count ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! Reagan lets up on December, and then gives the tag to Maggie. The tiny Nerdly hops into the ring, then charges in to hit a running leg drop on December. A cover... ONE! TWO! A kickout! “LET'S GO DECEMBER! LET'S GO DECEMBER! LET'S GO DECEMBER” the sold out crowd sings. Maggie hovers over December giving December a look at her nice tits... DECEMER I appreciate the view but well I'm a butt woman. With that said December presses little Maggie off her entirely! Annoyed, Maggie charges at December but eats an elbow to the face. Put off balance, Maggie can't stop December from drilling her with a sidewalk slam! A cover is made... ONE! TWO! An easy kickout by Maggie! Maggie hurries to the corner and tags in Reagan who herself hurries in and stomps December from tagging Bobbi with a stomp to the back of the head. The vile witch whips December into the ropes then proceeds to fling her over with a back body drop! Though hurt December comes to her feet, ready to fight. But all that happens is The Black Widow delivers a rising claw swipe! “OOOOHHHHHHHH!” RENEE Raging Light! COACH Dayum! Kitty got claws! Another cover is made... ONE! TWO! A kickout! RENEE The champs are in danger here in the first round, Coach. COACH Bobbi is a spaz and something is wrong with December, but we ain't gonna count them out to early. That'd be foolish. Again December rolls to her feet and now bashes her foe with forearms, but Reagan swings around her and puts an end to her comeback with a back suplex! Regan rolls through the hold, bringing up December once more, but this time Sleeping Beauty drops to her knees and takes notice of the GILF tits above her. DECEMBER Ah, these are nicer than Maggie's MAGGIE Bitch. Reagan manages to pull December up, but the Chattanooga native manages herself with elbowing out of the hold. Still, Reagan remains control by grabbing onto those brown locks of December and slamming her back to the ground! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!” As the fans continue to hiss, a tag is made to Maggie. RENEE Men-U-Pause advanced tonight under controversial fashion and I don't think its out of character for The Menagerie to use their own shady tricks to win this first round match. Reagan whips their foe towards Maggie who delivers an arm stunner! RENEE Misery Business! A cover... ONE! TWO! December brings the shoulder up! Maggie pulls her foe upright and starts twisting her around for her hammerlock DDT finisher. Yet December escapes the hold, and lifts her foe into the air to hit a back suplex faceplant! “YYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Sharp Frost! December sees an opening for tag and crawls to her corner, making the long trip to slap hands with Bobbi! “YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Bobbi enters the ring and ducks bellow a lariat from Maggie to sweep behind her and punt her in the butt! MAGGIE Fuck! Bobbi doesn't care about Maggie's predicament and suffering and instead executes an inverted DDT onto December's butt! RENEE Oh dang! A cover is made... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Reagan breaks up the pinfall! The Black Widow tries to whip Bobbi into the ropes, but instead Bobbi turns it around and delivers a short arm side belly to belly suplex! But Bobbi can't come to enjoy that as Maggie comes along and drills her with a face crusher! Yet, Maggie herself comes to suffer as December BITES her ass! MAGGIE You people are out of control! DECEMBER Thanks for the compliment, now do me.. MAGGIE That wasn't a compliment, idiot! Maggie tries to punish December with a leaping elbow drop, but The People's Daughter rolls out of the way! Then when Maggie rises, December unleashes a Rock Bottom to a huge ovation! RENEE As good as dad's! Unfortunately for December she's pitched out of the ring and onto the ring apron and out of the match for the moment being by Reagan. The Black Widow then turns her attention to Bobbi and throws her into the corner, following her in with a corner lariat. Reagan then holds Bobbi in a standing head scissors and takes it back to the old days with a pulling stump pile driver RENEE Bottomless Pit! Maggie now makes the cover on her foe... ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! The evil duo circle around Bobbi, like sharks in water, ready to bring about her end. But pain comes to them as December enters the ring and starts throwing Rock style punches at Reagan. The worse comes when Reagan is launches out the ring by one nasty punch! “YYYYYEEEAAAAAAA!” RENEE She knocked her into next week! No next month! Its November Reign where Reagan landed! Maggie would like to seize upon December, but instead she's thrown overhead by a fallaway Samoan Drop by Bobbi! “YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Fifty Shades of Purple! A cover is made... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winners and advancing to the semifinals of the Sable Bracket...THE MARDI GRAS ASS WRECKING CREW! “YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAH!” Bobbi gives December a congratulatory smack on the butt and all is right in the world of these two Sunrays! RENEE A big win for the champions, they advance on through in hopes of a successful title defense at Halloween Spectacular! COACH Next up the winners of Sabrina and Aisling versus The Fairly Odd Vamps. RENEE Should be a wild one! We'll see ya next week! FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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