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OAOAST TMW: A comedy/erotic e-fed

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 9/26/2016


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OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD 

RENEE
Ladies and gents its going to get crazy tonight on HeldDOWN hosted by Renee Young and the sexiest of trolls, Da Coach because we have a HUGE mainevent.

TONIGHT
OAOAST World Tag Team Championships
The Lonestar Gunslingers Vs Big IQ
TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT

COACH
Never thought I'd see the day when Baron and Jock hook back up.

*** Oscar Friberg vs. Job Burr ***

Fresh off challenging Vainglorious Bastards USA's Alexander The Magnificent, which we learned will take place at the OAOAST Halloween Spectacular X, Team SCREAM's Oscar made quick work of his aptly named opponent utilizing a more aggressive style to send a clear message.

RENEE
No more Mr. Nice Guy. When Oscar Friberg gets into the ring with Alexander The Magnificent on Halloween night, all hell is going to break loose!

Winner: Oscar Friberg, via pinfall (Birdcall). 

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Standing outside a brownstone building in Brooklyn is Terry Taylor in the day time.

TAYLOR
The presidental candidates have a watch dog group that looks out for and combats negative press and now the zombies do as well. Meet ZombieShare

Cut to the inside of the building were young staffers are typing away on mac books.

TAYLOR
The latest tweet says if you don't cover Delta Delta Delta's discrimination, you're setting the country back two Jim Crow days. Hashtag Delta Delta Racist. Another reads “ESPN in bed with Delta Delta Delta. One percent win again.”

A graphic on screen reads that the group tweeted that hashtag one million times in a week!

STAFFER
Zombies have inalienable rights like you and me, and we will put the pressure on the media to see that. We will put the pressure on them every day if we have to. 

TAYLOR
ZombieShare has already called for Cassidy Maguire to be muzzled due to her words being “offensive and very problematic.”

STAFFER 2
What the world needs is an outlet that unabashedly pro zombie, pro brain eating and pro big booty bitches. 

STAFFER 3
There is a double standard in coverage. Just because you have maggots crawling out your vagina doesn't mean the media gets to treat you like garbage. They do not have to be bullied by the entitled elite in greek houses.

TAYLOR
Beyond just retweets the real metric for success for ZombieShare will be the destruction of Delta Delta Delta and the rise of Clem's zombies.

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Backstage in the rocking interview lounge, Crystal, OAOAST legend is standing with Sara Jean Underwood.

SARA JEAN
Hey everybody, Sara Jean here with Crystal who has flown out from the performance center to lend the gift of gab to the announcement of the Miss Anderson Cup brackets.

CRYSTAL
I've competed as a special guest wrestler in the Miss Anderson Cup and its a whole different ball game than wrestling singles wise, or just wrestling a regular tag match. You're not supposed to look ahead, but you sort of can't help it.

SARA JEAN
Charlie Moss would say you take it one match at a time.

CRYSTAL
And that is so hard to do.

SARA JEAN
Why don't we see the brackets...

SABLE BRACKET
The Mardi Gras Ass Wrecking Crew Vs Maggie Nerdly and Reagan Flanagan
Fairly Odd Vamps Vs  The School For Bad Girls

The Cassidys Vs The Freakazoids
The Sisterhood of the Rich and Famous Vs The All XFL Network

SUNNY BRACKET
Fire and Ice Vs The Midnight Foxes
Men-U-Pause Vs Sammi Cayley and Gloss Angieacola

Pretty Young Money Vs Dasha and Sunshine Yukino
C02 Vs Netflikton

SARA JEAN
Alrighty, Crystal, can you make a prediction on the winner?

CRYSTAL
Hmmm, good question. I'm thinking C02 might just win their first Miss Anderson Cup. But look out for the current champs.

SARA JEAN
The Miss AC starts next week so don't you dare miss it!

COMMERCIAL

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“ I Don't Know Why” by Valen hits and with entrance doors parting, Gory Dragan emerges much more serious than usual. He runs his hands along his abstract art thights then lets out a deep breath of resolve before making his way to the ring.

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall, now making his way to the ring, from Veronia, Oregon, “THE MIND FREAKAZOID” GOORRRRRYYY DRRRAGGGAAAAAN!

RENEE
I know Gory feels bad about the zombie invasion, but fighting Clem is a bad idea!

As Gory settles into the ring “Zombie” by the Carnberries booms out and the jeers are quite plentiful. Awkwardly lumbering onto the stage is Clem Buzzlefoxer who proceeds to perform an Ass Man taunt before taking his own path to the ring,

BUFFER
And his opponent, from parts unknown, CLEM BUZZZZLLEEEFFOXXXXXEERRRRR!

“BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” 

RENEE
Clem was killed by Leon and accidentally brought back by Cassidy and he's been raising hell since his return from hell.

DING DING DING

Gory doesn't quite know what to do against Clem so he shoots in for a leg...and peels off a layer of skin.

GORY
Ewwww.

Clem doesn't care about his skin and instead flings Gory into the corner. With Gory trapped, Clem proceeds to hit him with a runnig head butt to the chest!

RENEE
That's an easy move to do when you're technically brain dead.

Gory sags to the canvas and Clem backs to the center of the ring, then transforms into 99 X-Pac! And you know what's next? A bronco buster!

COACH
Nasty! Nasty! Nasty as shit!

CLEM
MONEY MONNNEY MONNNEYY CHING CHING CUTTT THE CHATTTTERR!

Gory knows he has a fight to win and pulls himself upright to trade hands with Clem. He hits him so hard he comes away with a handful of teeth!

GORY
Ewwwww.

Clem responds in turn by headbutting Gory in the mouth then drilling him with a lariat. From there referee Val Venis has to make the cover....

ONE!


TWO!

Gory with the kickout!

The Oregon native rolls upright and tags Clem with a quick pair of knees to the gut. He then twists on a an arm wringer, before trying to haul him into an STO. But that move is blocked and Clem rocks Gory with yet another headbutt!

CLEM 
POOOOWEERRR ANNNDD MONNEYYYY GOTTTT ME CRAZZZZY COCKKKYYYYY NOOOOO LOOOOONNGGERRR NEEEEEDDDD YOUUUU PAPIII!

Clem decides to be rid of Glory so that he may taunt some more and throws him over the ropes and out of the ring. Luckily Gory is able to land on his feet and makes a quick run up to the top rope. When Clem turns around Gory is nailing him with a diving shoulder tackle!

RENEE
I can't believe I'm actually rooting for Gory, but good job!

Clem rises and throws a lariat that Gory rolls under. The youngster reaches up and pulls Gory down with a school boy and turns that move into a slick superkick!

“YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAA!”

RENEE
Evidence on Fire!

The cover....

ONE!


TWO!

A shoulder up!

Gory hurries onto the second rope and waits for Clem's rise. When it comes, he flies off with  a cross body block. But Clem moves out of the way and Gory crashes and burns!

RENEE
Oh no! Poor Gory!

Much to everyone's shock, Clem and his zombie bones climb to the top rope then fly off to hit Gory with a diving headbutt!

“OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

A cover....

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!


BUFFER
Your winner as a result of a pinfall....CLEM BUZZLEFOXER!

“BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO”

CLEM
I KNNNOOOW YOUUUU SMMELLLL MYY COLLOOGGNNNNE ITTTSS CALLLLLED BRRAAANNND NEEWWWWW MONNNNEEEY!

COACH
Welp, Gory failed, and now Clem's as cocky as ever and  probably as a deadly as ever. Thanks Gory.

 

Backstage, the team once known as the Lone Star Gunslingers -- MR. DICK and BARON WINDELS -- tape up/lace their boots as they prepare to challenge for the OAOAST Tag Team Championship later tonight. 

Speaking of the champions BIG IQ, they joined OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood at the world famous backstage interview lounge to hype their title defense one final time. The guys admitted Mr. Dick surprised them by finding someone to actually team with him, even more by the fact it was BW of all people. They, like the entire OAOAST Galaxy, know the rocky past between the two and BW's current partnership with Ned Blanchard as Cobra Strike. 

ICE QUIZ
Friend, foe, wildcard-- it makes no difference. We said we'd be fighting champions and that's exactly what we're doing... fighting anybody who challenges us. And so far we've iced the competition.

CW
:) 

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We focus on Sofa Central with Renee and Coach close in and ready to speak.

RENEE
Okay, guys, right now on the line with us are Tyler Bryant and Lorlei DeCenzo.

On a split screen appears Lorelei and Tyler from Tyler's condo in Gross Pointe, Michigan.

RENEE
Tyler, you've been fined five thousand dollars this week by Sophie for not showing up.

TYLER
I should be untouchable!

COACH
I agree.

TYLER
The second I became champion I should have been marked as untouchable, but now I'm being assaulted, threatened and humiliated by all comers. 

LORELEI
One of which is a woman who talks to animals. Tell me, Renee, would you like to be harassed by Doctor Dolittle?

TYLER
Sophie is the real Docotr Dolittle, because she's doing little to protect her number one investment! Krista should be fired, Queen Esther should be deported to Neverland and Blaine Cayley should be fined! Not me! I shouldn't be the one getting fined, it should be him!

RENEE
Why should Krista get fired and Queen Esther get deported?

LORELEI
Their actions are criminal. In this 21st century world we live in, you can not have a strong, empowering woman attacked and humiliated the way I was, and in the OAOAST, in all of wrestling, you must treat the world champion like he is a king.

TYLER
I am royalty! Not Queen Esther! I have the belt around my waist, I'm still the champion, but I've been tossed aside like a kicked rock. Tell Krista and Queen Esther to kick rocks!

COACH
Same goes Blaine too, right?

TYLER
Blaine Cayley, I've been in the OAOAST longer than you. I am your senior, you show the veterans respect. Why, I'm a locker room leader!

RENEE
Come on, Tyler...

Suddenly the crowd goes wild as BLAINE CAYLEY appears among the people of the OAOAST Galaxy holding his Money in the Bank briefcase. He seats himself smack in the middle of the hard camera's view and takes a puff from his e-cig.

"BLAINE!"

"BLAINE!"

"BLAINE!"

Momentarily thrown off his game, Tyler reiterates his previous statement of being a "locker room leader."

TYLER
You don't threaten the locker room leader. He should be taken to wrestler's court and sentenced to a beat down, but I see the OAOAST locker room is full of cowards. Threatening me is like threatening your god, Blaine Cayley, don't be shocked when you get hit by lightening bolts.

RENEE
Don't you have to be around to do that?

TYLER
Like the old slogan goes, I can reach out and touch somebody from anywhere I am. Krista, Queen Esther, Blaine, whoever! The champion has a long memory, and a long reach, and all your time is running short.

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Flynn Stevens and TurboWolf were meant to duke it out for the 24/7 title tonight, but the action has already begun backstage! 

RENEE
Flynn's smarter than Coulter because he knows how to use the 24/7 title rules to his advantage.

COACH
No diss, but I think everyone in America is smarter than Coulter Doyle.

The two men brawled about the backstage area being given a wide berth in their movements. No man got the upper hand as they took their fight all the way into the women's shower...

CASSIDY

tumblr_oe2qeg4gSM1rkiw19o1_400.gif

This is the final straw! I have to put up with a lot of bull crap to make it through my day as glorious as I started and I am not putting up with Duck Dynasty and a Tae-Bo ho invading my time with the finest vegan oils money can buy! Get out!

Flynn and TW hurried out of the showerroom, but when they left Flynn got decked with a BLACK LARIAT from Nat Black that left him laid out.

TURBOWOLF
Hey, man, what the hell do you think you're doing?

BLACK
Yer job, lad.

And with that curt and cruel response, Black walked off.

RENEE
Boy this feud is heating up between Nathaniel Black and TurboWolf!  And that segment got hot with Cassidy in a hot shower!

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A quick recap of the situation involving the 3 Amigos and current OAOAST 6-man tag champs VICE/Joey The Rat aired, followed by a chat with the Amigos and OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor at the world famous backstage interview lounge. The Amigos discussed how long they've waited to get a crack at VICE/Joey and we're counting down the days till Halloween because candy won't get the only treat they'll be getting according to them. 

CHICK
We're also bringing home the OAOAST 6-man tag titles!

MARIACHI & JUICY
:yes:

Backstage in the darkest corner of the arena Silver, Maggie Nerdly, Reagan Flannagan and Leon Rodez are all in a discussion.

LEON
Silver, I'm not expecting much from you.

SILVER
That's good. I don't deserve high expectations. I'm worthless.

MAGGIE
That's for sure.

LEON
But, Maggie and Reagan, if you don't win the Miss Anderson Cup I'll be very disappointed.

REAGAN
Do not worry. We will win.

MAGGIE
Hold up, why are we on the hook to make you pleased?

LEON
I can't properly interfere in the Hotties division to cause misery and suffering. I need my tools to do their work.

MAGGIE
Tools?! Who said we're you're tools? Sounds like a load of crap.

SILVER
I wish I could be your tool, but what can I do right?

MAGGIE
You can shut up. Do that right.

REAGAN
Regardless, we have every intention of claiming victory. I didn't slow my aging to a crawl for nothing and I know Maggie is itching to do what her sisters can't.

LEON
Good. And, Silver, I don't expect you to beat Buckworth at Halloween Spectacular. But, I do expect you to weaken him. Soften him up. Then when the time comes, I swoop in like a vulture hounding a starving child and I clamp down on him, Colin and anyone else allied with them.

COMING UP NEXT
OAOAST World Tag Team Championships
The Lonestar Gunslingers Vs Big IQ
TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT IS NEXT!

 

 

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*** OAOAST Tag Team Title: Mr. Dick & Baron Windels vs. Big IQ © ***

The atmosphere was electric for Big IQ's much anticipated title defense against the reunited team of Mr. Dick and Baron Windels. 

COACH
The OAOAST Galaxy's split down the middle. You've got half rooting for Big IQ, the other for Dick and BW.

CW, Ice Quiz and BW all shook hands prior to the bell. Though reluctant at first MD finally gave in and accepted the champions hands as well in an act of sportsmanship. But it was all business once the bell rang. The four superstars treating the OAOAST Galaxy to nearly 10 minutes of nonstop action until the everything came to an abrupt halt when CW attempted to leapfrog BW and landed awkwardly on his ankle. CW rolled around in serious pain as BW watched on stunned. 

MISTER DICK
Stay on him! BW! Stay on him!

BW could only shrug his shoulders as the ref kept him at bay to on the status of CW along with Ice Quiz. Not long after the ref made an "X" with his arms and called for the bell. Replays show CW rolling his ankle from various angles as he leaped over the near 6'8 Baron Windels. 

RENEE
Ouch! That doesn't look good one bit. 

Outside, Mr. Dick grabs the tag titles and celebrates! 

RENEE
What's going on here? 

MD embraces BW and places a belt over his partner's shoulder.

BARON
:huh: 

MD's celebration is cut short when the ref snatches the tag titles and returns them to Big IQ, ruling this bout...

Official decision: No contest.

MD flips out screaming "Bullshit!" So heated is MD that he bumps the official and gets right in his grill before being pulled away and calmed by BW.

RENEE
An unfortunate end to a great match. Big IQ retain the championship after the bout is ended due to CW's injury. 

As everybody focuses on CW being attended to in the ring, MD takes the titles back from the ref and departs.

COACH
Look at this!

Fade out on BW looking baffled.

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