Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 TV-14L,V* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight.THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~!"ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND AROUND THE WORLD..." The OAOAST Syndicated theme song starts playing (use your imagination). The OAOAST Syndicated logo fades away, replaced with a shot of the fired up crowd at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Missouri. The camera does a wide pan of the thousands in attendance, as the fans hold up their signs in the hopes of getting their five seconds of fame. The following words appear on the top left hand corner of the screen:ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI The same set is there as always: an AngleTron sitting on top of scaffolding, with only some curtains used for the wrestlers to enter through. The ring is the same too: black ring aprons emblazoned with the OAOAST Syndicated logo on them. Black ring steps. Black ring posts. Black turnbuckle pads. And white ring ropes. SWOOP~! on over to the announce booth located near the entrance and two familiar faces with more cheering fans behind them. The OAOAST Syndicated theme song dies down. TONY SCHIAVONE Welcome everybody to another exciting edition of OAOAST Syndicated, this time in primetime! I'm Tony Schiavone, and with me as always is the one and only Jesse "The Body" Ventura, and fans, tonight's special 2 hour edition of OAOAST Syndicated in primetime is going to be one for the record books! Four action packed matches including two matches that could headline any pay-per-view across the country! JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA That's right Schiavone, we have two BIG matches that will happen back to back and they'll only happen tonight! Only in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! SCHIAVONE That's right Jess. Tonight, we will see the first, and what could quite possibly be the LAST one-on-one confrontation between Vitamin X and Caboose in a No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match! And then, the OAOAST X-Division Championship will be up for grabs as "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican takes on "The Metrosexual Monster" Bohemoth for the first time ever! VENTURA Two matches that have never taken place before WILL take place tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! I can't wait! SCHIAVONE In addition to those two HUMOGOUS matches, the OAOAST 24/7 Championship will be on the line as the Champion, Cuban Wall, takes on "The Birmingham Bad Boy" Jamie O'Hara! VENTURA J-OH has really stepped up to the plate these past two weeks as he wants some gold in the OAOAST again after getting a taste of the OAOAST X-Division Title! But Cuban Wall has been on a roll since defeating Bohemoth to win the 24/7 Title at AngleMania VI, plus he's 6'7" and weighs 285 pounds. This will be a GIANT obstacle that Jamie O'Hara must overcome! SCHIAVONE True, but O'Hara is a risk taker. He's not afraid of anything or anyone. I'm sure he knows what he's getting himself into, and I'm sure he'll bring the fight to Wall tonight! Also, you will see a 3-On-2 Handicap Match as the former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, D*LUX, take on The Beverly Hills Blonds & Christopher Patrick Allen! VENTURA "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant's lives haven't been the same since AngleMania VI. Their longtime manager Jade Rodez betrayed them and joined up with The Enterprise. They lost the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship that they worked so hard for to the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. And now tonight, they will have to face not only the first team to ever win both the OAOAST AND HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles, but also the big man of The Enterprise, the 6'6" 280 pound CPA! I tell ya, Tony, if I were D*LUX, I would just forfeit the match and live to fight another day! SCHIAVONE But D*LUX have too much pride and too much anger over what Jade has done to forfeit! They want to take apart The Enterprise one by one, and they can start tonight when they battle it out against The Beverly Hills Blonds & CPA in this 3-On-2 Handicap Match! VENTURA Do you think Jade Rodez will be at ringside for this match? SCHIAVONE I'd be surprised if she DIDN'T show up! That match is coming up later, fans, on tonight's OAOAST Syndicated, quite possibly the greatest OAOAST Syndicated of all time! VENTURA I'll ya what, Tony Schiavone, there is nothing better to do on a Saturday night then to stay at home and watch professional wrestling! Wanna go see that new big Hollywood blockbuster? Wait until the Sunday matinee to see it! Wanna go to the clubs and get your groove on? Dancing is for girls and wussy men! Got a hot date tonight? Tell the broad to wait until next Saturday, and to cook you some dinner! These matches only happen once in a lifetime and they're happening tonight, right here on OAOAST Syndicated! SCHIAVONE It's going to be a Syndicated for the ages! Two titles on the line! Plus, "First Time...Last Time...Only Time" Caboose vs. Vitamin X! It's Saturday Night's Wrestling Extravaganza! Let's now go to the ring for our opening contest of OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 *DING DING DING* BUFFER Your opening contest, a Three On Two Handicap Match, is scheduled for one fall! "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)" The strains of "Call Me" by Blondie play through the announcement of wrestling's most famous boxing announcer and continue on, until finally the call is met by the NEW 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the World! Smirking from ear to ear, Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton, The Beverly Hills Blonds stroll across the rolled out red carpet with their belts proudly held over their shoulders and snazzy sunglasses shading their eyes from the hoards of paparrazi. Well, there is no paparrazi. But, you can never be too careful. Backing up The Blonds is Mackenzie DeCenzo, applauding her team in the absence of any fan support. And rounding out the team is CPA, who even as a champion doesn't see the need to deviate from the 'jeans and tee' look. The belt around his waist adds a little something, however. BUFFER Introducing team number one. They are the BRAND NEW OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions! Accompanied to the ring by their manager, The Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise, MACKENZIE DECENZO... at a total combined weight of seven hundred and fourty pounds. The team of "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD and "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON, THE BEVERLY HHHIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLSSS BBLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOONNDDSSSSSSSSS... and, their partner, CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, C! P! A!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE And we kick off OAOAST Syndicated with three on two action, D*LUX being put against the new World 6-Man Tag Team Champions, The Beverly Hills Blonds and Christopher Patrick Allen representing The Enterprise. And I say 'being put' because it's pretty obvious that D*LUX had absolutely no say in the matter. Which is becoming a common theme since their contract is apparantly still owned by The Enterprise's newest acquisition, Jade Rodez. Just two nights ago, we were supposed to see Shayne Brave in a Blindfold Match, which has apparantly been put back to next week, in favour of this Handicap Match tonight. A graphic flashes up on the screen to promote the Blindfold Match next week. Since I can't Photoshop, you'll have to use your imaginations. But it's there, honest. VENTURA Nevermind that, Schiavone. Let's talk about what we're seeing tonight. Let's talk about the brand new 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the World, The Beverly Hills Blonds and the bigman, CPA! It's so great to see these guys with belts back around their waists, ain't it Tony? SCHIAVONE Well, Ned and Simon are now the only team to have been OAOAST Tag Champions, HI-YAH Tag Champions and now 6-Man Tag Champions. So they're no strangers to gold that's for sure. VENTURA The best professional wrestling team today, without a shadow of a doubt in my mind. SCHIAVONE Woah! Don't let them here you say that Jess. Didn't you get the memo? These guys, The Beverly Hills Blonds, seem to think being termed 'wrestlers' is below them, they're demanding to be referred to as 'sports entertainers' from now on. Talk about a spit in the face to this sport, especially in a town with so much rich wrestling tradition such as St Louis. VENTURA Hey, as far as I'm concerned, these guys have earned the right to call themselves and to be called by others whatever they want. The Enterprise trio chatter amongst themselves in the ring, not looking concerned in the slightest about their match tonight. Infact, it seems The Blonds are actually discussing their dinner plans for the night instead of tactics for the opposing team on the way... "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The traditional St. Louis crowd suddenly show their slightly less traditional side, for going wild for the boyband stylings of A1's "First To Believe" and wilder still for the boyband styling of D*LUX!! "Tremendous" Tyler and "Showtime" Shayne burst through the curtains and don't break stride as they sprint down the aisle. Panicking, Mackenzie dives out of the ring, just as Shayne and Tyler slide in, catching The Blonds by surprise as they DIVE into their sworn enemies with fists flying!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE We are off and running in a hurry! D*LUX are not waiting around tonight, that's for sure, they wanna get their hands on The Enterprise! *DINGDINGDING!* Shayne and Tyler continue to pound away on Ned and Simon, The BHB unable to remove their ring vests or even their sunglasses in the chaos. Unfortunately for the boybanders, dealing with just Ned and Simon isn't enough tonight. Finally reacting to the ambush, CPA wades in, picking "Showtime" Shayne up off of Ned and hurling him out to the floor! CPA then grabs Tyler, dragging him off of Simon in a waistlock. With ease he lifts Tyler off his feet, Tyler kicking and flailing to escape. But the former bouncer has dealt with this plenty of times before and simply DUMPS Tyler on his face with a waistlock takedown!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA HAHA! CPA doing what he does best, guarding the bodies of The Blonds! As they regroup, the now sunglass-less Ned and Simon finally get serious and put the boots to Tyler Bryant, as CPA just watches on. Mackenzie, still a little flustered from having to vacate the ring so quickly, is right below them at ringside yelling away to her Blonds. "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" Finally the booting comes to a stop and The Blonds pick Tyler up off the canvas. Referee Charles Robinson is desperately trying to get some order, but failing, as CPA bumps Shayne Brave back off the apron. And The Enterprise take advantage of the three on one, Ned and Simon pulling Tyler into a pair of short knees, before whipping him on to CPA who clubs him down with a big clothesline! SCHIAVONE These fans trying to make themselves heard as a third man on the D*LUX team. But, it may not do them much good tonight. VENTURA Forget 'may not', it won't be enough! They're in there with the best six man team in the land, three on two. They don't have a prayer! Rolling back into the ring to try and aide his partner, Shayne gets caught on the way in with a boot from Simon Singleton. And more follow as The BHB now put the boots to the other member of D*LUX, softening him up for a double irish whip. This time CPA stays out of the way, as Ned and Simon show the teamwork that has won them every major tag team honour going in the OAOAST, Simon executing a drop toehold and Ned coming off the ropes the point of the elbow down across the back of the head! Jumping back to his feet, Simon flashes a cheesy Hollywood grin to the fans who give him the universal 'thumbs down' as Ned views the carnage through his HANDSCREEN! Not yet satisfied with the shot, Ned then lands a big boot to the back of Shayne's head, before re-assessing from a different 'camera' angle. SCHIAVONE Now, I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure The Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA are supposed to be tagging in and out... and finally, it looks like Charles Robinson is going to make sure that's the case. It's bad enough that this has to be a three on two match, the least these three men can do is follow the rules of a match they themselves made! Still feeling a little jetlagged after their big win in Nebraska two nights ago, The Beverly Hills Blonds don't need much encouragement to leave the ring. At least now D*LUX are down that is. CPA remains in and legal with Shayne Brave, who remains facedown on the canvas. By the hair, CPA pulls the youngster up off the canvas before throwing him forward into a neutral corner. Shayne's head hits the top turnbuckle and he drops to one knee, allowing CPA to choke him with his knee on the middle turnbuckle! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "F..." CPA breaks, thankfully before Shayne's neck does. VENTURA CPA is the perfect compliment to The Beverly Hills Blonds. His style is straight ahead, nothing pretty but everything effetive. Team him up with the best tag-team in the OAOAST and it's no wonder they're the 6-Man Tag Team Champions. A whip sends Shayne all the way into the opposite neutral corner, although technically with his partner hurt on the floor there are three of them at the moment. CPA then charges, looking to crush Shayne in that corner with a big Avalanche... ...but Shayne moves! "YYYEEEEEEE....." The cheers of the crowd are cut abruptly short though. Not only does CPA save himself from colliding with the turnbuckles, Shayne runs right out of the corner into a clothesline from Simon Singleton from the apron!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Apparantly Charles Robinson missed the clothesline. But he's not dumb and warns Singleton on merit, which doesn't endear himself to Mackenzie or Ned, letting him hear it over 'jumping to conclusions'. Meanwhile, Shayne pulls himself back up, but turns around into ANOTHER clothesline, this time from the legal man CPA (the man legal in the match that is, he's not a man of law, that's someone else's job), the bigman following up with the cover... 1... 2... No! Tag is made and back in comes Ned Blanchard, again stomping away on the fallen boybander. Ned then takes off across the ring as he notices Tyler Bryant back on the apron, bumping the other member of D*LUX back down to the floor. Just for the hell of it. SCHIAVONE Come on! The Enterprise just bullying D*LUX around here. VENTURA Ah boo-hoo. It's a contact sport Schiavone. SCHIAVONE For the men IN the ring, sure. With a smirk on his face, Ned swaggers back around... and gets shocked by Shayne Brave, fighting up from his knees with a punch to the gut! And again! And again! Reaching his feet, Shayne unloads with a succession of jabs on Blanchard which sends an expectant roar up around the arena! Looking to cut this flurry off Ned goes for a clothesline. Shayne ducks it though, catching the arm and bringing Ned around into a sudden DDT to the shock of the rest of The Enterprise contingent!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Shayne Brave showing he's not going to be bullied around though! On his hands and knees, across the ring scampers Shayne, making it to his corner... ...and finding NOBODY THERE! Shayne sees where Tyler lays on the arena floor, having landed hard against the steel barricade and looks on despairingly. Behind him Ned has managed to reach his hand up enough for Simon Singleton to tag himself in, The Video Voyeur rushing across the ring and dragging Shayne out of the corner before dropping the big elbow to the back! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA HAHA! That's vintage tag team wrestling from Ned Blanchard, he took care of the man on the apron and his team reap the benefits. Fantastic! Arrogant as ever, Singleton feels the need to laugh it up at Shayne's expense before he follows up. A front facelock turns into an inverted front facelock, Simon sitting out with an Inverted DDT and reaching out for the leg... 1... 2... NO! Looking to his corner for some guidance, Singleton is advised to Take Two. So he does, bringing Shayne back up off the canvas and setting him up for the Inverted DDT again... and GETTING it! This time Singleton is sure it's over, lounging back across Shayne's body and counting along with the pin... 1... 2... SAVE BY TYLER!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE The recovery comes a little too late for the tag, but just in time to save the match! VENTURA Well, save, prolong, whatever. As Tyler is angrily pointed back into his corner by all concerned while another tag is made on the Champions' side. Blanchard is back in now and more concerned with Tyler Bryant at the moment, giving him a 'friendly' warning to keep his nose out of the match while he's not legal, which sends the irony meter into a spin. Returning to the action, Ned now pulls Shayne up and scoops him into his arms. The 182 pounds is no concern to Blanchard as he carries Shayne around the ring. Once he's picked his spot, Ned then brings him down with a Backbreaker. Keeping Shayne in his arms, he then deadlifts the boybander back up, turning him a little to hit another Backbreaker, this time of the Pendulum variety. And with a final lift he plants Shayne with a Sidewalk Slam, the trio of high-impact moves leaving Shayne nursing his back and struggling to kick out of Ned's tight cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! SCHIAVONE Say what you will about D*LUX Jesse, these kids have got a lot of heart. VENTURA I don't think anybody's denying that. They've got heart, sure. But wrestling isn't just a physical sport it's a mental one too and it's clear that what they have in heart, they lack in brains. Ever since Jade left their side they've been lost and here they are, wasting all their heart in a match they're destined to lose. SCHIAVONE So what are you saying, they should just walk off, like The Blonds did at AngleMania? VENTURA That'd be smarter than staying in the ring a man down against the 6-Man Tag Team Champions. Live to fight another day. Not impressed by the fight of his opponent, Ned turns to his corner with the look of a man who didn't expect this much effort here tonight. So he turns the effort upon CPA, patting The Enterprise's Directory Of Security on the back as he enters the ring and encouraging him to "snap him in half" by breaking an imaginary item in his hands. CPA just nods, as he reaches down with two big hands around the throat, lifting Shayne up off the canvas AND RIGHT OFF HIS FEET with scary strength! VENTURA WOW! However, his next move isn't so scary. As he sets Shayne down in front of him CPA looks to mow him down with a clothesline. Shayne ducks underneath the line though, getting a burst of speed off the ropes... ...and coming to a screeching halt, thanks to a knee to the back from Blanchard on the apron!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Another cheapshot! Shayne staggers out from the ropes and CPA is right there to meet him, scooping him up over his shoulder. On the apron Ned taunts the St Louis fans by pointing to his head, which means he has the brains, not even needing to watch what happens next. Or, so he thinks, as unbeknownest to him CPA is struggling! Shayne struggles and squirms until he escapes off the shoulder and down the back of the big 280 pounder, dropkicking him hard in the back, sending CPA forward INTO NED, WHO GETS BUMPED TO THE FLOOR!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" CPA looks stunned as he looks down at Ned, forgetting all about Shayne AS HE MAKES THE TAG!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE TAG! Here comes "Tremendous" Tyler! VENTURA A rare miscommunication from The Enterprise. Still trying to apologise, CPA is screamed at to turn around by Mackenzie from her position beside Ned, the bigman doing just that just as Tyler comes off the ropes with a big Leaping Clothesline! CPA stays on his feet but is staggered, giving Tyler time to get to his feet. Big dropkick, doesn't fell the bigman. Neither does a second dropkick. So Tyler hits the ropes again, ducking underneath as Allen swings a lumbering arm towards his head and catching him as he turns with an Enziguri, the force of which sends CPA tumbling through the ropes and out of the ring!! TYLER COME OOOOOOOOOONN!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Only now does Singleton sense there's a problem, rushing into the ring and getting knocked down with a clothesline! And another! Blanchard manages to get back into the ring to help out but he gets taken down with a clothesline too as it's a boyband house of fire blazing through The Enterprise! SCHIAVONE Look at Tyler go! Three on two, three on one, it doesn't matter right now Tyler Bryant is taking them all on! Up first is Singleton, caught by a boot to the gut and wrenched around into position for a neckbreaker. Before Tyler can hit the move Blanchard is running in, hands clenched over his head in an obvious attempt at a double axehandle. WAY too obvious. Tyler boots Ned in the gut too and pulls him into a front facelock, looking a little surprise himself for a second before he drops, hitting the Neckbreaker on Simon AND the DDT on Ned in one swift movement!! MACKENZIE Away rolls Ned, leaving Tyler to cover Simon... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Wow, almost a big upset there, D*LUX fighting the odds admirably here on OAOAST Syndicated here tonight! VENTURA But Tyler can't fight them alone forever. Sooner or later the numbers are gonna catch up on him, unless he finishes someone off quick. Tyler waves Singleton back to his feet, but has forgetting about CPA who slides back into the ring ready to pounce. Which is when Shayne Brave finally rejoins the fray, rushing across the ring with a wild dropkick which sends CPA right back out to the floor with another concrete rattling thud! Finally D*LUX are in the ring together now. And the tag-team specialists waste no time in taking advantage of it, Tyler catching Simon in his way over in a fireman's carry and Shayne taking him right back off with a big Swinging Neckbreaker! SCHIAVONE Rock Your Body! Tyler points out the presence of CPA on the outside as he makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! Simon kicks out... ...and Shayne gets CAUGHT trying a Pescado on CPA, the burly head of security catching Shayne in his arms with ease... *CLUNK!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and RUNNING HIM INTO THE RINGPOST spine first!!! VENTURA That's one down! SCHIAVONE No kidding, Shayne Brave just made a huge error of judgement and CPA just destroyed him! Which all leaves Tyler alone against three, not having noticed the fate of his partner. Tyler motions for Simon to get back up as he sets, prepared to hit the ropes once The Video Voyeur pulls himself up. Slowly Simon drags himself off the canvas, straightening out his back as he reaches his feet which makes himself a seemingly easy target for "Tremendous" Tyler who rushes into the ropes... ...and gets caught by Ned Blanchard who had been lying in the weeds, waiting, catching Tyler in a bearhug as he comes off the ropes. With a quick 180, Blanchard then topples backwards and STUN GUNs Tyler across the top rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA What did I tell you Schiavone, the numbers game! Sucking air after the Hot Shot, Tyler staggers back to his feet. And The Beverly Hills Blonds are waiting on him, taking Tyler airborne and bringing him down with the DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK!! Tyler literally BOUNCES off the canvas before going limp, a possible KO from the patented double-team. Understandably Simon is quick to go for the cover. But for some reason Ned stops his partner short, shaking his head as he waves Christopher Patrick Allen back in to finish the job. SCHIAVONE Now, is this really neccessary? VENTURA What sort of a question is that? You're the one talking about the kid's heart, Ned obviously doesn't think he's done yet. SCHIAVONE Not done yet... Jesse, he's clearly out cold! With Ned and Simon directing traffic, the deadweight boybander is dragged off the mat by CPA. And I do mean dragged, offering no help or resistance due to being seemingly knocked out. CPA muscles him all the way up to his knees though and applies the gutwrench, lifting Tyler up onto his shoulder with a quick pop of the hips. And then, with The Blonds watching on through HANDSCREENS~!, CPA does one final turn and hits the DOMINATOR!! VENTURA Okay, now he's done. CPA with the cover... 1... 2... And an academic 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* The Blonds waste no time in celebrating their victory, embracing in the centre of the ring as if they'd just overcome three on two odds on the handicapped side. Their big partner remains much more reserved as he climbs back up, staring down at Tyler with teeth gritted. Possibly a smile, possibly not. Hard to tell. Ned and Simon are certainly smiling though as Mackie presents them with their belts BUFFER Your winners of the match... the 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the World... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS and CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Well, a gallant effort from D*LUX here at Syndicated. In the end it came down to numbers, which The Enterprise had already ensured would be on their side before the match even began. But D*LUX certainly gave their all here tonight. VENTURA Let's not take anything away from The Enterprise though. SCHIAVONE Well... VENTURA No, let's not take anything away from them. No ifs or buts or wells. Three on two or not, it was an impressive showing from our new 6-Man Tag Team Champions. SCHIAVONE Certainly not their toughest challenge however. As the Champions leave, pleased with their work for the night, Shayne Brave slides into the ring still nursing his back as he checks on his tag team partner. The boyband duo both look pretty dejected, despite the reaction from the crowd, best described as sympathetic applause. D*LUX fail to muster much thanks as they struggle their way out of the ring, just in time for a commercial break!EXCITING! EXHILIRATING! SOME OTHER WORD THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "E"! IT'S THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE!May 3rd- Little Rock, Arkansas for HeldDOWN~! May 10th- New Orleans, Louisanna for HeldDOWN~! May 17th- Oklahoma City, Oklahoma for HeldDOWN~! May 24th- Dallas, Texas for HeldDOWN~!MAY 27TH- HOUSTON, TEXAS FOR OAOAST SCHOOL'S OUT 2007CATCH ALL THE EXCITEMENT OF THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE!Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 A deep, slow voiced man yells out, "LIGHTNING CREW!" alerting the crowd that more action is on the way and that they should put down their programmes and/or wake up. The opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts up as the crowd stands and boos in unison. Strobe lights appear on the entrance set, while smoke fills the entryway. The crescendo hits, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. A few seconds later, Cuban Wall comes out to loud boos. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship! On the way to the ring, he hails from Havana, COOOO - BAAH! Weighing in at two hundred, eighty five pounds... the reigning and defending OAOAST 24/7 Champion... THE CCUUUUUUUBBAAAAAAAAANN... WWWWAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Cuban Wall looks at the crowd and pumps his right fist into the air, then proceeds to walk to the ring, his eyes focused on it with a serious expression on his face. VENTURA Talk about intimidating. Castro could have done with this guy around. SCHIAVONE But instead, Wall alligned himself with PRL, another evil dictator. As he reaches the end of the aisle, Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit. To a surprisingly positive reaction, not bothering him too much as he climbs onto the ring apron ready to enter the ring. Perhaps the fans should have told Wall something was up though, as suddenly he comes right back off the ring apron... ...courtesy of JAMIE O'HARA, who gets the jump on the 24/7 Champion with a barrage of wild right hands, to a roar from the crowd!! *DINGDINGDING!* SCHIAVONE O'Hara getting the jump on the Champion, just as he tried to two weeks or so ago! Remember folks, no disqualifications and falls count anywhere in this match. This title on the line twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, to anyone and everyone! O'Hara keeps up the offence on Wall, not letting up for fear of the bigman getting back to his feet. As Wall falls to one knee in rain the boots... or, the trainers (sneakers, w/e), O'Hara kicking away at the Champion trying to put him down. Wall manages to reach out and push O'Hara away. But not very far, O'Hara planting the sole of his right trainer into Wall's face and leaving a tick logo imprinted on the big Cuban's forehead! O'HARA OI! "OI!" VENTURA Oi? SCHIAVONE No idea. "Oi"s aside, O'Hara is doing pretty much everything he needs to do right now as Wall is caught with another boot as he tries to get up. Hopping onto the ring apron O'Hara then takes a glance over his shoulder, checking on the Champion's position. As Wall begins to climb back up, J-OH sets, somersaulting back off the apron with a Moonsault... ...CAUGHT! SCHIAVONE Uh-oh. Wall catches O'Hara over his shoulder and the Englishman panics, flailing around for an escape as he's carried across the ringside area and DROPPED FACE-FIRST ON THE RING STEPS!! The echo of skull on steel rings around the arena as O'Hara bounces off the steel and collapses to the floor! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Snake-eyes on the ring steps! And that'll bring Jamie O'Hara's quick start to a screeching halt. Beckoning referee Nick Patrick out of the ring, Wall drops down and makes the cover right there by the steps, pinning down O'Hara's free arm by the wrist... 1... 2... Kickout! Wall grins a little at the fact the match continues, pulling O'Hara up by his baggy attire and dumping him into the ring. As he follows inside, Wall lands a punch on Jamie from his knees, climbing the rest of the way up to his feet and lifting one arm in the air signalling for the Chokeslam! VENTURA Cuban Wall might be about to make light work of this 24/7 challenge. As O'Hara struggles back to his feet Wall punces, goozling O'Hara with the big gloved hand and grabbing the waistband of his tracksuit pants. However, O'Hara starts throwing back elbows to try and escape. Lacking the height to get a good connection with the bigman's head, O'Hara doesn't seem to be getting too far. He then tries elbows across Wall's bicep, trying to break his grip. That's not registering though. So, Plan C is put into action, the aformentioned trainer finding it's way up into the groin of the 24/7 Champion! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!" The bigman's eyes bulge out of his head a little from the lowblow and he loses his grip on The Birmingham Bad Boy, who quickly capitalises on the opportunity to exit to the ring apron. Grabbing the top rope, O'Hara then springboards back in, spinning around to land a back elbow as Wall gets back up! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE O'Hara beginning to use his speed and agility, dancin' with what brung him as a colleague of ours might say! With Wall down O'Hara quickly scampers outside of the ring, routing under the ring skirt for an 'equaliser'. The first thing O'Hara finds is a trash can which he throws up and into the ring, keeping hold of the lid for an more immediate weapon. Which he soon needs as he climbs back onto the apron, Wall walking in to meet him... *CLANG!* ...and getting the trash-can lid upside the head! Wall squints and grimaces a little as he staggers back across the ring. But he soon shakes off the effects like a normal person would shake off a normal headache, before returning for more. Right on cue O'Hara vaults to the top rope again, made all the more impressive by the trash can lid still gripped in his right hand, springboarding off the top with the weapon wielded... *CLANG!* "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND ALMOST BENT IN HALF OVER THE BIG CUBAN'S CRANIUM!! SCHIAVONE Man, what a shot! VENTURA Give O'Hara credit, he's not backing down from the bigman, even if it is with a weapon in his hands. Discarding the bent metal disc, O'Hara dives on top of Wall for the cover... 1... 2... NO! Wall PRESSES O'Hara off of him! Unfortunately through, O'Hara lands on his feet off of that and stomps Wall in the forehead. Setting himself at the side, The Birmingham Bad Boy then shows off his unparalleled agility as he connects with a STANDING 450 SPLASH!! 1... 2... KICKOUT! O'Hara takes issue with the count by Nick Patrick, as he goes over and retrieves the trash can itself. SCHIAVONE Cuban Wall is a big man and dominating when he's on the offence. But at the moment, Wall isn't able to do much at all because O'Hara is being relentless. VENTURA That's what he's gotta do Tony, he's gotta keep the pressure on the bigman. First sign of a let-up and Cuban Wall could finish him off in a heartbeat. No let-up is coming though, as O'Hara strides in... *CLANG!* ...DENTING the trash-can over Wall's head as he gets to one knee! The bigman sits on that one knee dazed while O'Hara undents the can, backing into a corner and lifting himself up onto a perch on the second rope. Wall climbs back up and shakes out the cobwebs before approaching O'Hara, ready to catch him off the ropes. O'Hara throws him a curveball though. Or, a curve-can to be precise, tossing the trash can at Wall as he walks back in. Reacting quickly enough to catch the trash can, Wall thinks he's safe, for the second it takes SuperJay to come flying through the air with a Missile Dropkick, kicking the can back into Wall's face!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" O'HARA YEH! OW'DYA LIKE THAT, PRICK!? "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" SCHIAVONE I tell you what Jess', Jamie is giving Cuban Wall much more of a problem than I expected here. VENTURA Me too. I don't know if you'd call it an upset if we see a new Champion tonight, but it'd certainly be an impressive feat on the Englishman's part. Verbally abusing the 24/7 Champion might not have been the best of ideas, as he climbs back up growling under his breath. Wall is still dazed though and takes his time about getting up, giving O'Hara time to go back to the apron again. There he waits, as Wall reaches his feet and walks into diving range for the daredevil challenger. O'Hara springs to the top, springs off the top... springs INTO WALL'S ARMS! The Champion catches O'Hara in a Bearhug on the way down and runs into the nearest corner, JAMMING Jamie's kidneys into the top turnbuckle with all 285 pounds of force! Lazily Wall allows O'Hara to slump off his shoulder in the corner, grabbing hold of the wrist and pulling him out into a big Short Arm Clothesline, TURNING O'HARA INSIDE OUT FROM THE FORCE!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA What impact! O'Hara ends up plummeting to earth like a shooting star, landing on his front and bouncing back over onto his back, where he finds himself covered... 1... 2... NO! Looking to punish O'Hara for his renewed fight, Wall now exits the ring to collect a steel chair. Wall even folds the chair up with intent, eyes locked on Jamie as he slowly pulls himself up using the ropes. VENTURA Now the tide has changed and this is where Wall is at his most dangerous. SCHIAVONE With a chair in his hands? VENTURA Well, yes. I meant when he's on the offence, but with a chair, even better. Stalking his prey, Wall watches as O'Hara turns towards him and swings down with the steel... DUCKED! O'Hara manages to duck under and run past the chair as it sweeps down towards him, bouncing off the ropes. The momentum of the swing takes Wall off balance momentarily, recovering his footing and turning around as O'Hara soars back knee first, connecting with the Busaiku Knee Kick... ...TO THE CHAIR... *CLANG!* ...WHICH THEN REBOUNDS INTO WALL'S FACE!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Down goes Wall, stars fluttering around his eyes in the blinding light from the rafters. But down too goes O'Hara, holding his right knee, regretting somewhat his choice of attack. "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" SCHIAVONE This crowd trying to will O'Hara into a cover... if he can get on top of Wall quickly enough, we might have a new 24/7 Champion! VENTURA Yeah, that chair really caught Wall flush from close range. He might be out Schiavone! As Jamie begins to stir, the St Louis crowd grow in excitement. Wall hasn't moved since taking the chair to the head and it seems he's there for the pinning, as O'Hara crawls across the canvas, dragging his right leg behind him a little. Which makes his crawl that bit slower, which all adds to the drama as he finally drops on top of the big Cuban... 1... 2... ... 2?... 2?... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Expecting three like the rest of us, O'Hara glances up to see referee Nick Patrick out on the floor, courtesy of THE BONE THUG!! The Lightning Crew's newest recruit shakes his hand a little after the stinging right that KOed the ref, not noticing O'Hara as he marches over hurling hard-to-understand British obscenities at him. Quickly Bone Thug hops onto the apron and tries to hang O'Hara up on the ropes... ...but O'Hara weaves his head away and jams his shoulder into Bone Thug's gut! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Suddenly, it's become a numbers game! No interference later on tonight, but there's nothing to stop The Lightning Crew having a hand in this match! VENTURA Maybe Bone Thug is here to win the 24/7 Title. SCHIAVONE ... VENTURA Or, maybe not. Avoiding some of Bone Thug's 'accessories' as they fly off him, O'Hara rears back and dropkicks the Thug in the chest, sending him flying off the apron and hard to the floor! Some more trash-talk follows Bone Thug down, O'Hara losing his focus as Wall sneaks up behind him... ...happening upon the item Bone Thug dropped and realises that they're BRASS KNUCKLES!! SCHIAVONE Wait a minute... Wall, from behind! With a last V-sign to the fallen wingman, O'Hara slowly turns around... *WHAM!* ...AND GETS A BRASS KNUCKLE ASSISTED SOUPBONE TO THE JAW!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd deflate as O'Hara collapses to the canvas, eyes crossing even before he hits the canvas. Wall doesn't even need to remove the brass knuckle with No DQs, simply waiting now as replacement referee Charles Robinson jogs down the aisle to check on Patrick. He doesn't get there though as Wall instead waves him into the ring, Robinson doing his job (and listening to the 285 pound Cuban yelling at him) as he slides in, while Wall comes off the ropes with the LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH!! SCHIAVONE Two hundred, eighty five pounds down across the chest... but O'Hara is out already! 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "No Chance In Hell" strikes back up again as Wall rolls out of the ring to collect his Lightning Crew partner. Wall helps Bone Thug up and to his feet as his 24/7 Title is returned to him, Wall having retained tonight but knowing every day is 24/7 day. BUFFER Your winner and STILL OAOAST 24/7 Champion... THE CUBAN WWWWWAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Not without an assist, but Wall retains his title. Not without a fight though. Even giving up over a hundred pounds in weight and almost a foot in height, Jamie O'Hara gave as good as he got and might even have has The Cuban Wall beat, if not for the intervention of The Bone Thug in proceedings. Wall carries Bone Thug away as in the ring, O'Hara is still out cold. SCHIAVONE Fans, coming up next is a match we've been waiting for since March! At long last, Vitamin X and Caboose will collide one-on-one! "First Time...Last Time...Only Time". A No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match! This match could change Caboose's and Vitamin X's lives FOREVER! VENTURA Both of their careers will never be the same after this match, Tony! Put the little ones to bed. This match won't be pretty! SCHIAVONE It certainly won't be for the weak of heart, Jess. The time is almost here! We are just a heartbeat away from this much anticipated match-up! Vitamin X vs. Caboose, they're gonna get it on right after these messages! We'll be right back with more on this month's edition of OAOAST Syndicated in primetime!* COMMERCIAL BREAK * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 The camera cuts to an exterior of the Scottrade Center. SCHIAVONE We're in a professional wrestling hotbed, St. Louis, Missouri! For this month's edition of OAOAST Syndicated! And fans, this month's OAOAST Syndicated is brought to you by Castrol GTX: Drive Hard! I'm not even sure if that's still sold in stores, which just goes to show you the quality of sponsors for OAOAST programming! VENTURA And by Axe Body Spray. Obviously, the commercials are total crap, but it sure smells good anyway! If you think they really do attract women, then you're the most patheic patheic virgin ever, and that INCLUDES Tony Schiavone! SCHIAVONE Yeah. Hey! And by Spider-Man 3. Is Spider-Man 3 the Superman III of the Spider-Man franchise? Find out when it opens in theaters nationwide May 4th! VENTURA Hey, a day before Skye Sweetnam's birthday! SCHIAVONE Who? VENTURA Fuck you, Schiavone! *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* *Bling bling Everytime I come into the city Bling bling Pinky ring worth about fifty Bling bling Everytime I buy a new ride Bling bling Lorenzos on Yokohama tires Bling bling Nigga I got these hoes iced up enough While my lil B.G.s on the bus puttin' out cigarette butts But me personally playboy I don't give a fuck And I'm a always show love to my cut Hit tha club light tha bitch up The Cash Money motto we got ta drank 'til we throw up Nigga point the hoe out guaranteed I can fuck Wootay I'm tattooed and barred up Medallion iced up Rolex bezelled up And my pinky ring is platinum plus Earrings be trillion cut And my grill be slugged up My heart filled with anger cuz nigga i don't give a fuck Stack my cheese up Cuz one day I'm a give this street life up Beef I don't discuss A nigga outta line gone get his muthafuckin' head bust Cash Money millionaires plus Don't touch sumin nigga you can't fuck Twenty inches TV's is a must By the year two thousand I'm gut out my bus A lil nigga seventeen playin' with six figures Got so much ice you can skate on a nigga When you see cash money you know you stay flossin' Catch cha girl down bad ya know we straight tossin' I ain't seen a click yet that can stunt like mine I ain't seen a marette that can run like mine 1999 And its our turn to shine Fifty or better on our wrist and they all blind Pourin' vodka 'til I die drank 'til I faint 'Til a nigga tell me I need another drank My nigga Baby told me work nigga trick to them hoes Nigga baby told me work nigga better than treatin yo nose I'm tha freak of tha click Keep it on tha tuck so I creep on a bitch And I play it on the raw never sleep with a bitch Keep it real with my niggas Never weep for a bitch Never weep for a bitch Bling bling Everytime I come into the city Bling bling Pinky ring worth about fifty Bling bling Everytime I buy a new ride Bling bling Lorenzos on Yokohama tires Bling bling* As "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing over the P.A. system, causing the crowd to boo loudly, The X-Man himself, Vitamin X comes out. VX does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then plays to the crowd, who respond to him the way they usually do. Vitamin X is carrying a garbage can filled with a garbage can lid, a cookie sheet, and a Kendo stick wrapped in barbed-wire. VX is wearing a silver baseball jersey that has the words VITAMIN X written on it in blue cursive font, VX written on the sleeves in blue blocky letters, and on the back it has "R.I.P. THE LEGEND OF CABOOSE" on top in big blue blocky letters, the OAOAST Syndicated logo in the middle, and "2002-2007" written underneath it. APRIL 28, 2007 is written underneath that. X is also wearing blue sweat pants with the OAOAST logo on the left pant leg, black Adidas sneakers, and black elbow pads. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entryway as Vitamin X begins his walk to the ring. SCHIAVONE Take a good look at his face. Because it might not be in that same condition ever again after this match is over. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere Match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first. Coming down the aisle. From Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 248 lbs. He is the Financial Consultant AND Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew. VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! Vitamin X has his eyes focused solely on the ring as he continues making his way to the squared circle. SCHIAVONE This is going to be a BIG one, fans! It's time for Vitamin X to put up or shut up! He's going into the ring tonight alone, and he is going to face an OAOAST Original! It's time for Vitamin X to show how much of a man he is tonight! VENTURA This is a match Vitamin X has waited for not since March, but since he began wrestling! He's never been looked at as a serious threat EVER! But after tonight is done, people will know what Vitamin X, the X-Man is all about! SCHIAVONE I see that so far Vitamin X has honored the stipulations. There are no other Lightning Crew members with him. He's going at this on his own! The way it should be! VENTURA X doesn't need any help tonight! He's confident! He knows he has Caboose right where he wants him! Now tonight, he's going in for the kill! Vitamin X jaws with some fans at ringside. He sets the garbage can full of weapons next to the ring and then climbs up the ring steps as "Bling-Bling" continues playing. Prince Vitamin hops onto the second turnbuckle and crosses his arms into a X. He looks at the jeering crowd with a serious expression on his face. Afterwards, Vitamin X hops off the turnbuckle and into the ring. He then grabs the garbage can o' weapons and sets it down on the mat. SCHIAVONE There's no Princess Stacey. No Cuban Wall. No Mr. Boricua. No Bone Thug. No Thomas Rodriguez. No Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. And no PRL. It's just Vitamin X and Caboose. And they have the whole arena at their disposal! One fall to a finish. No Holds Barred! VENTURA This is what professional wrestling is all about, Tony Schiavone! A good old fashioned grudge match! This is going to be a night Vitamin X AND Caboose will NEVER EVER forget! SCHIAVONE So much anticipation for this match. This has been building ever since Vitamin X confronted Caboose on the March 1st HeldDOWN~!. On that night, Vitamin X declared WAR on Caboose, and tonight, the war will end. Vitamin X, The X-Man, will go one-on-one with the two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Caboose. For the first time...and quite possibly for the last time! VENTURA "First Time...Last Time...Only Time". That's the way this match has been marketed. And it may be true. We shall see! Vitamin X paces back and forth in the ring. No Shane-O-Mac Shuffle tonight. Vitamin X is all business. He grabs the Kendo stick wrapped in barbed-wire and stands near the ropes, staring at the entrance with the McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. VENTURA He's ready, Schiavone! Vitamin X wants to make a name for himself, and THIS is his golden opportunity! SCHIAVONE How far will he go? How much pain will he endure? You got to think Vitamin X wants to beat Caboose as quick as possible! VENTURA Then again, he might want to hurt Caboose and administer PAIN for what's happened over the last two months! Tony, we might see a completely different side of Vitamin X tonight! Vitamin X holds the Kendo Stick like a baseball bat. He's still staring at the entrance. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. SCHIAVONE Caboose has been in some memorable battles in the OAOAST. Tonight might be another classic! VENTURA He remembers what happened at AngleMania. He doesn't want a repeat tonight! But Vitamin X wants to finish what he started at AngleMania! BOTH men have something to prove tonight! SCHIAVONE Just who is the better man? Vitamin X vs. Caboose! No titles on the line! This one's all about RESPECT! And you're seeing it tonight on OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! CUE: "Cochise" by Audioslave "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHH!" Spotlights converge all over the arena. Once the bass and drums kick in, Caboose lowers from the rafters, garnering more and more cheers the closer he is to the ground. Finally, 'boose plants his feet near the entrance, drawing the loudest pop of the night thus far. At this point, Chris Cornell's voice is heard over the P.A. system. *I've been watching While you've been coughing I've been drinking life While you've been nauseous And so I drink to health While you kill yourself And I've got just one thing That I can offer Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Yeaaahhhhhhhhhh!* Caboose unhooks the safety apparatus from his chest. He then raises his trademark cricket bat over his head to another loud cheer. He then points the cricket bat at Vitamin X, whose expression doesn't change. 'boose then begins his walk across the entryway as "Cochise" continues playing. BUFFER And his opponent. From Derby, England. Weighing in at 225 lbs. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. This...is...CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE! *I'm not a martyr I'm not a prophet And I won't preach to you But here's a caution You better understand That I won't hold your hand But if it helps you mend Then I won't stop it Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Yeaaahhhhhhhhhh!* Caboose continues walking to the ring purposely and defiantly as the crowd cheers. SCHIAVONE Caboose is in his classic attire. He's got his tights, he's got his facepaint, and of course, he's got his cricket bat! Caboose is 100% ready for this match-up! VENTURA That cricket bat is legal! SCHIAVONE Indeed it is, Jess. Anything goes in this one! Falls Count Anywhere. They can go all over the arena for this one! VENTURA And they will. Vitamin X isn't afraid of Caboose! He's going to show the world just how much tougher he is than Caboose tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! Caboose stands near the ring and points the cricket bat at Vitamin X again. VX points to his Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire. He talks trash to Caboose, who just stares. SCHIAVONE This won't be for the weak of heart. This won't be pretty. I bet the censors are going to go nuts over this one! VENTURA I'm sure there will be bleeding. I wouldn't be surprised if Caboose's white face is red by the time this match is over! SCHIAVONE They both might just bleed! Who knows what can happen in a match like this? One thing's for sure: it'll be better than anything the competition has put out this week! VENTURA Nice shot at our competition, Tony! SCHIAVONE Thanks, Jess. Caboose climbs the ring steps and then the second turnbuckle. He glares around the arena as the crowd cheers. 'boose then points the cricket bat at Vitamin X once again. He then hops off the second turnbuckle into the ring and makes a beeline for Vitamin X! VENTURA Uh-oh! Here we go! Vitamin X throws down the Kendo stick wrapped in barbed-wire and quickly grabs his garbage can full of weapons. VX begs for mercy, but Caboose keeps power walking towards him. SCHIAVONE I think Caboose is ready to start this match! Caboose swings the cricket bat! And only hits steel as Vitamin X held up the garbage can to block the shot! SCHIAVONE He almost took his head off! Caboose swings the cricket bat again...and only gets a garbage can! Caboose keeps on swinging, denting the garbage can in there process! Referee Jimmy Korderas calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* "First Time...Last Time...Only Time" NO HOLDS BARRED FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH CABOOSE vs. VITAMIN X (The Lightning Crew is barred from ringside) Caboose keeps hitting the garbage can until Vitamin X sticks the can onto the cricket bat. 'boose simply takes the garbage can and throws it over the top rope and onto the floor. That gives Vitamin X some time to escape, as he slips underneath the bottom rope causing the fans to boo! SCHIAVONE And Vitamin X is ALREADY leaving! VENTURA Hey, he's taking a breather! Let him get his mind back into this! Vitamin X catches his breath. However, he doesn't catch it for long as Caboose slides underneath the bottom rope and charges forward with the cricket bat...and only hits the stairs! Caboose turns around, his eyes full of RAGE~!, and charges forward, hitting only the barricade this time! Caboose keeps chasing after Vitamin X! He swings the cricket bat, but X moves out of the way, and Caboose hits the ring post! SCHIAVONE Caboose is chasing after Vitamin X like he's a killer in a slasher movie! VENTURA This ain't no movie, Tony! This is real life! Caboose continues his chase of Vitamin X, swinging the cricket bat wildly, while Prince Vitamin frantically tries to escape! Caboose swings the cricket bat for the hundredth time, but Vitamin X again moves out of the way, and Caboose nearly hits Michael Buffer in the process! VX runs around ringside, bumping into a cameraman along the way! SCHIAVONE Thank God we're up here. X trips and falls onto the protective mats. Caboose smiles an evil smile as he slowly walks over to where Vitamin X is lying. He raises the cricket bat over his head and says, "Now, I've got you!" But just then, VX gives Caboose a drop toehold, causing him to fall face-first onto the top ring step! VENTURA Great move by Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE He got lucky there! VENTURA Vitamin X using his brains to escape that predicament! That's why he's the Brains of Brains & Brawn. Caboose is kissing the top ring step. Vitamin X gets up and grabs the cricket bat. He raises it over his head and laughs manically. SCHIAVONE He's got it! Vitamin X has Caboose's weapon in his hands! VENTURA Oh, this won't be good! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is in control! The crowd boos loudly. The X-Man does a little Shane-O-Mac Shuffle and then lifts the cricket bat over his head, hitting Caboose in the head with it! NO! Caboose grabs the cricket bat, blocking the shot! The OAOAST Original gets up, and continues blocking the shot from Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE Caboose and Vitamin X battling over control of the cricket bat! Both men use all their strength, but neither man can gain the advantage. They keep going back and forth, until the cricket bat comes closer and closer to X's face! Vitamin X keeps fighting, but the cricket bat is only an inch away from his face! So VX knees Caboose in the gut. But Caboose continues fighting, and soon the two men are walking around ringside holding the cricket bat. VENTURA They won't give up! They both want that cricket bat BADLY! SCHIAVONE That bat's a powerful weapon! We've seen what Caboose has done with it on many occasions! Caboose lies against the ring steps, with the cricket bat coming closer and closer to him. This causes the crowd to start chanting, "CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE!" At long last, Caboose pokes Vitamin X in his eyes and gets the cricket bat back! SCHIAVONE That move's as legal as a headlock in this match! VX staggers around ringside following the eyepoke. Caboose measures VX up, and then goes to swing the cricket bat-- *BAM!* Vitamin X BLASTS Caboose across the head with the dented garbage can! SCHIAVONE My God! I heard that all the way out here! VENTURA That just scrambled Caboose's brain! What's left of it anyway. The crowd groans watching that shot. Caboose wobbles, but he doesn't fall down. Instead, he rests on the ring apron. Prince Vitamin shakes the cobwebs out of his head, and then charges forward blasting Caboose over his head with the dented garbage can again! SCHIAVONE A second time! VENTURA Hey, two for the price of one show! I like it! Caboose stumbles, but he doesn't fall. He does, however, rest again the ring steps. By now, some of the facepaint has faded away. Vitamin X charges forward, hitting Caboose on top of his head with the garbage can AGAIN! SCHIAVONE Three times! Three times already! VENTURA Caboose can't even defend himself, he's so dazed! SCHIAVONE Caboose is in big trouble already in the early going! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! CROWD BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! X raises the dented garbage can over his head with a cocky smirk on his face. He walks all the way to the other side of the ring, and then rushes forward...but gets kicked in the face by Caboose! The X-Man stumbles, dropping the garbage can in the process. SCHIAVONE Caboose with a move right there! VENTURA That was a desperation move, Tony! Caboose now knows what he's getting himself into! Vitamin X collapses onto the ground. He crawls around ringside. *BAM!* Caboose hits Vitamin X over his head with the dented garbage can! SCHIAVONE And Caboose with some payback right there! VENTURA He got him good. But Vitamin X won't go down that easily! Caboose throws the dented garbage can aside. The crowd cheers. "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* SCHIAVONE You know, there was a time when Caboose would get angry at these fans for chanting what they're chanting...but I think those days are long gone! VENTURA His opinion on Vitamin X has certainly taken a 180 in the past year hasn't it? SCHIAVONE Well, you could also say that Caboose finally realized the truth. VENTURA The truth is subjective in this case, Tony. The truth is subjective! Caboose cracks a half-smile, and then picks Vitamin X up and throws him back into the ring. 'boose starts stomping away on The X-Man, causing the Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew to scream out in pain. Caboose then gets down on his hands and knees and starts choking Vitamin X with his bare hands! VX grabs at Caboose's long hair in response. VENTURA Come on ref, stop this! SCHIAVONE No Holds Barred, Jess! VENTURA But Caboose is going to kill him! SCHIAVONE ...And? VENTURA You're sick. You know that? You're sick! Caboose finally stops choking VX, and then gets up so that he can stomp him again. Caboose picks VX up and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. X bounces off the ropes, and Caboose kicks him in the gut, then bounces off the ropes himself so that he can hit X with a knee to the face! The crowd cheers. 'boose then takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, jumping up and down with an elbow into Vitamin X's face! Caboose goes for the cover! 1... 2... KICK OUT! VENTURA The X-Man ain't out of it just yet! He's still got some fight left in him! Caboose is disappointed, but he continues on. He waits for Vitamin X to lift his head off the canvas...so that he can punch him in the face, knocking him back down again! The former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion then chokes Vitamin X with his left foot! VENTURA Caboose has never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I think even he knows that killing him wouldn't be such a good idea! SCHIAVONE Caboose wants to torture Vitamin X! He wants to disfigure Vitamin X! Caboose lets go. He then bounces off the ropes, charges forward, and hits VX with a baseball slide which sends him out of the ring onto the floor! SCHIAVONE Oh my! That can't be good for your back! VENTURA No DUH, Schiavone! Vitamin X holds his back in the pain on the outside. Caboose exits the ring and picks X up, then gives him a swinging neckbreaker! 'boose then gets right back up and climbs the second rope! SCHIAVONE He's gonna fly? From there!? VENTURA He wouldn't dare. The crowd cheers loudly, but Vitamin X gets up and walks away, preventing any high-flying moves from happening. The crowd boos loudly. 'boose gets down from the second rope and chases Vitamin X across the aisle. Caboose grabs Vitamin X and scratches his eyes! He scratches VX's eyes again, but this time holds on. That is until Vitamin X grabs Caboose and gives him a back suplex in the entryway! SCHIAVONE Oh! His head bounced off the floor with that! VENTURA The X-Man strikes again! Everytime you think he's done for, he fights back! SCHIAVONE Since when!? VENTURA Since always, Tony! Both VX and Caboose hold their heads in pain. But then, X crawls over and covers Caboose. 1... 2... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCHIAVONE That wasn't it! Caboose is still alive! VENTURA He might not be for long, Schiavone! Vitamin X's face tells the story. His disappointment is quite obvious. VX slowly gets up, and Caboose slowly gets up a few seconds later. SCHIAVONE The referee's only here to count the pinfall, that's it! Anything goes! They can't be disqualified at all! The X-Man grabs Caboose by his neck and tries a backslide! It gets two! Both men get up at the same time. VX kicks Caboose in his gut, and then starts hitting him with the CLUBBERIN~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms to the back of the neck! VX kicks Caboose in the gut again, and then simply grabs him by his hair and slams him onto the floor! VENTURA Yeah, that'll work! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X simply THROWING Caboose onto the floor with that one! VENTURA Hey, if wrestling doesn't work, just fight dirty! That's what I always say! SCHIAVONE They can in this match! Caboose's eyes are glazed over as Vitamin X makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THRE--TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCHIAVONE Only two. Despite that sickening thud we heard just a few moments ago. The OAOAST Doubleshot Instant Replay shows Vitamin X throwing Caboose onto the floor. VENTURA I wouldn't want to be Caboose right about now! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is in control once again. What's going to happen now? X is PISSED~! He picks 'boose up and gives him an European Uppercut. X then punches Caboose squared in the face! VX then grabs Caboose by his hair and tights and slams Caboose's head on the top ring step! VENTURA I saw some facepaint fly off right there! Vitamin X throws Caboose back into the ring, and then follows himself. VX grabs the cricket bat and stands up, his eyes focused on Caboose. SCHIAVONE X has got the bat once again! VENTURA He's ready to finish off Caboose right here, right now! With his own weapon! VX does the McMahon SNEER~! again. He then charges forward, lifting the cricket bat over his head-- --CABOOSE GRABS THE CRICKET BAT! SCHIAVONE What a save by Caboose! The crowd comes alive! Caboose fights to hold the cricket bat away from his face! Vitamin X and Caboose once again get into a battle over control of the cricket bat! VENTURA They've been fighting over that cricket bat all match, but neither one has actually USED it yet! SCHIAVONE It's not going to be pretty whoever gets the bat! The cricket bat is only a few inches away from Caboose's face. But then Caboose fights back, and now both men are holding the cricket bat right between the two of them! VITAMIN X COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" Finally, Caboose just kicks Vitamin X right in the nutsack! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE A little revenge from AngleMania VI there! Vitamin X clutches his special area and collapses onto the mat! The crowd cheers. X crawls around the ring while Caboose heads over to a turnbuckle to catch his breath. Once he does that, Caboose charges forward and hits Vitamin X with a lariat! VENTURA LARIA-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! SCHIAVONE ... VENTURA What? I've always wanted to do that! Caboose then gets up and looks around for a weapon, finding one in the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! VENTURA He's going to use the weapon Vitamin X brought into the ring! SCHIAVONE It makes sense! Vitamin X tried to use Caboose's cricket bat! The crowd cheers, knowing that the Kendo Stick is a weapon Vitamin X has used more than once, and are now greatly looking forward for the tables to be turned. 'boose jogs on over to a turnbuckle corner and holds the Kendo Stick, waiting for Vitamin X to get up. SCHIAVONE Caboose has got his eyes locked on Vitamin X! He's got Vitamin X's trademarked weapon in his hands! VENTURA X better look out! There's a man who hates him holding his weapon! And it's covered in barbed-wire! SCHIAVONE You say it as though there's more than one person who hates Vitamin X...and you'd be right! Caboose is motioning for Vitamin X to get back to his feet. VX is using the ring ropes to pull himself up. SCHIAVONE These fans are on their feet! VENTURA Caboose is not really going to do this, is he? X is on his right knee. He gets to a vertical base. X turns around... *THWACK!* AND GETS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH THE KENDO STICK WRAPPED IN BARBED-WIRE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Down goes The X-Man! Down goes The X-Man! Caboose raises the Kendo Stick over his head to LOUD cheers! He points the Kendo Stick at Vitamin X, and the crowd seems to be clamoring for more pain! SCHIAVONE That barbed-wire connected with Vitamin X's face! Indeed, as a small cut has appeared over Vitamin X's right eyebrow. Blood starts coming out of the cut as Vitamin X sits up in pain. VENTURA He's bleeding! He's bleeding! SCHIAVONE Indeed he is, Jess! Vitamin X has been busted open by his own weapon! VENTURA There goes his good looks! More and more blood comes out. Vitamin X is screaming out in pain! Caboose takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, jumping up and coming down with the Kendo Stick onto Vitamin X's face! SCHIAVONE ANOTHER one! Caboose is trying to disfigure Vitamin X now! VENTURA You sure the stipulations can't be lifted now? We need some help out here! SCHIAVONE No, Jess! This match has been going along smoothly thus far. VENTURA Smoothly for whom? SCHIAVONE Uh...the fans? VENTURA Shut up, Schiavone! Vitamin X can only see red now. The blood has covered the top half of Vitamin X's face! Caboose gets up and throws the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire aside. He stares at VX who is in the fetal position. Caboose punches Vitamin X in his face! He then does it again! And again! And again! And again! SCHIAVONE The blood is flowing! Vitamin X's jet black hair is turning red! Caboose picks Vitamin X up by his baseball jersey and starts hammering away at his face. VX is now dazed and confused and his face is red. SCHIAVONE The Financial Consultant and Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew being beaten to a bloodied pulp! The punching causes Vitamin X to stagger all around the ring. But Caboose keeps on punching him and punching him! 'boose takes X to a turnbuckle corner and starts punching him in the face there. Caboose continues his rapid-fire punching, and then runs over to the opposite turnbuckle. He charges forward, hitting Vitamin X with a Stinger Splash! SCHIAVONE Stinger Splash from the OAOAST Original onto the bloodied Prince of The Lightning Crew! Caboose grabs Prince Vitamin by his (now) reddish hair and throws him down onto the mat. X is groggy and breathing hard on the mat. Caboose grabs the Kendo Stick and stalks Vitamin X in the ring. VENTURA I think he's starting to like this! SCHIAVONE Who knows what's going through his mind at this moment? The crowd is cheering loudly. Vitamin X is sitting up on the mat. Most of his face is covered in blood by now. Caboose kneels down and GRINDS the Kendo Stick across Vitamin X's forehead, making sure the barbed-wire is nice and tight on The X-Man's skin! SCHIAVONE Oh my God! Look at this! He's using that Kendo Stick like a cheese grater! VENTURA I bet Princess Stacey has stopped watching this match! She can't take it anymore! SCHIAVONE We said this wouldn't be pretty folks! VENTURA How are we getting away with this in primetime!? SCHIAVONE God bless shady politicians! VENTURA Can you imagine all the pain he's in? SCHIAVONE I don't want to imagine! Caboose finally lets go of X, and X crawls away. VITAMIN X No! No! No! No! No! Vitamin X rests his head on the second rope. He wipes some of the blood off of his face and is HORRIFIED at what he sees. VENTURA I don't think The X-Man has bled like THAT before! SCHIAVONE I don't think so either, Jess! Vitamin X is convulsing. He cannot believe what he just saw. SCHIAVONE He looks traumatized by looking at his own blood! And Caboose just makes it worst by once again GRINDING the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire across Vitamin X's forehead! SCHIAVONE Oh God! Oh God! VENTURA I can't believe he's actually doing this! SCHIAVONE Caboose wants this to be the last time he ever fights Vitamin X all right! Caboose lets go, and Vitamin X nearly falls out of the ring, he's so weakened. Caboose pulls X back into the ring by his sweat pants. He then removes Vitamin X's customized baseball jersey and then rips off X's white Lightning Crew T-shirt underneath, revealing Vitamin X's less-than-stellar physique. SCHIAVONE Well, now we know why he wears a shirt all the time. VENTURA Hey leave him alone! He's been busy lately! He hasn't had time to go to the gym! You try being the Financial Consultant to the most powerful group in wrestling and a wrestler at the same time! Caboose grabs the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire again. VENTURA That's enough with that Kendo Stick! Caboose places the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire in between Vitamin X's legs, right on his crotch! SCHIAVONE Oh boy. VENTURA Oh no! The crowd senses trouble too, and cheer to show their approval. Vitamin X's eyes are glazed over, so he has no idea what's about to happen to him. VENTURA This is insane! SCHIAVONE That's why he wants to do this! Caboose grabs Vitamin X's legs, and then gives him a legdrop right onto the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA JESUS CHRIST! SCHIAVONE OH MY GOD! The crowd can't believe it either! Vitamin X YELPS in pain! Caboose just stares at X grabbing his buffalo shot in agony. SCHIAVONE I think Caboose did that to make sure Prince Vitamin and Princess Stacey have no children! VENTURA The crown jewels have been damaged! Who's going to be the heir to the heir to the throne now!? VITAMIN X OH GOD! OH MY GOD! MY NUTS! MY NUTS! MY NUTS! The crowd points and laughs at Vitamin X. Referee Jimmy Korderas asks if Vitamin X wants to give up, but X says, "NO!" SCHIAVONE I don't think Vitamin X will ever feel the same down there ever again! "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" VENTURA These fans are really digging this match! SCHIAVONE The thousands in attendance are on their feet! They feel the end is near for Vitamin X! VENTURA It's not! Vitamin X can pull through! I don't know how, but he can pull through! Caboose grabs the cookie sheet that Vitamin X brought into the ring. He pulls Vitamin X up by his hair. VX can barely stand. *WHACK!* Caboose hits Vitamin X over the head with the cookie sheet! There's a giant dent in the cookie sheet now! SCHIAVONE Another hard shot in a series of them tonight! Caboose goes for the cover! 1...2....KICK OUT! 'boose eyes the referee angrily before getting up. SCHIAVONE Caboose hasn't said a word. He's remained 100% focused on this match. VENTURA He's gotta think of something REALLY good, Tony! Because Vitamin X is showing us he will not go down easily! Caboose leaves the ring. He lifts up the ring apron and searches underneath the ring for something. He pulls out a plywood sheet covered in barbed-wire! SCHIAVONE Oh my...Oh my...My--My God! VENTURA I don't believe it! SCHIAVONE Is that thing for real!? VENTURA Of course it is, Tony, you idiot! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers. Caboose holds the barbed-wire plywood sheet up for the fans to see. VENTURA All that barbed-wire! How did he sneak that thing into the arena!? SCHIAVONE I don't know! I've never seen something like that in my entire life! There's gotten be dozens upon dozens of barbed-wire wrapped in that plywood sheet! Caboose slides the barbed-wire plywood sheet into the ring. "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" SCHIAVONE My thoughts exactly. Vitamin X lies on the mat. Caboose walks on over to where Vitamin X is laying. He picks X up. VENTURA Uh-oh! He's in trouble! SCHIAVONE There's a bunch of barbed-wire in the ring and Vitamin X is weak. This won't be too hard to figure out. Caboose punches Vitamin X! Vitamin X stumbles, but doesn't fall! Caboose punches Vitamin X again! VX stumbles close to the barbed-wire plywood sheet, but he doesn't fall! Caboose punches Vitamin X a third time. X *almost* falls, but is still on his own two feet! Caboose bounces off the ropes...and gets hit in the face with salt! VENTURA That's classic cheating right there! Vitamin X immediatley scoops Caboose up. He then slams him on top of the barbed-wire plywood sheet! SCHIAVONE OH MY GOD! VENTURA Caboose just got a thousand piercings on his back! The crowd is in SHOCK! Caboose screams out in pain as the barbed-wire pierces his back. He manages to shift to his side, and the camera does a close-up of the blood coming out of his back! He rolls off the plywood sheet, still screaming. "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" Blood is now on the mat. Vitamin X is laughing manically. He gets down on his hands and knees and taunts Caboose, bloodied face and all. VENTURA Look at that! He's badmouthing him! SCHIAVONE No matter what type of match he's in, Vitamin X always has time to run his mouth! VENTURA That's why he's one of the greats today! VX pulls Caboose further away from the plywood sheet covered in barbed-wire and covers him, hooking his right leg! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WRONG! KICK OUT! SCHIAVONE He kicked out! By God, he kicked out! VENTURA This match has already taken a toll on them, and they're STILL fighting! SCHIAVONE They both want to win. They both want to show just how tough they really are! Vitamin X especially wants to show the world that he's more than just a member of The Lightning Crew! He's a real wrestler! VENTURA He doesn't have to go through this to prove that! He's already got my seal of approval! Vitamin X can't believe it. By now, the blood has dried on his face. He mouths "Son of a bitch!" and then picks Caboose up. VX starts punching him in the face! Punch! Punch! Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! Punch! VENTURA Ha ha! He's still got it in him! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X getting cocky. VENTURA He said we would see a different side of him tonight. And we have. VX picks up the barbed-wire plywood sheet and sets it up against a turnbuckle. SCHIAVONE More!? They want to use more of that *thing*!? VENTURA I think the blood loss is affecting his thinking, Tony Schiavone! VX has the plywood sheet set up perfectly, so he walks on over to where Caboose is. VX grabs Caboose by his left arm and gives him a whip--NO! Caboose holds on! X kicks Caboose in his gut, and then punches him in the face several times. He grabs Caboose by his left arm and gives him a whip--Caboose refuses to let go. VX punches Caboose again as the camera does a close-up of Caboose's bloodied back. Vitamin X grabs Caboose by his left arm and gives him a whip--Caboose reverses--VX reverses--and Caboose hits the barbed-wire plywood sheet left shoulder first! SCHIAVONE GAH~! Caboose's left arm is stuck to the barbed-wire. So Vitamin X decides to make things worse by hitting Caboose with a dropkick! Caboose is squished further into the barbed-wire! 'boose then collapses onto the mat, his left shoulder COMPLETELY bloodied! SCHIAVONE .... VENTURA Wow. You don't know what to say! Vitamin X gets right back up. He takes a deep breath, and then throws the barbed-wire plywood sheet right onto Caboose's left arm! VENTURA My...God. Caboose screams in pain some more! The crowd boos Vitamin X loudly! "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* VENTURA Are they watching the same match I am!? SCHIAVONE They DESPISE Vitamin X, Jesse! They don't want him to win under any circumstances! VENTURA Hey, Caboose brought that weapon into the ring! It's his own fault! SCHIAVONE Doesn't give the right for Vitamin X to use it the way he did! VENTURA Anything goes in this match, Tony! SCHIAVONE Darn, you're right. VENTURA Score one for "The Body"! Jimmy Korderas tries to pull the barbed-wire plywood sheet off of Caboose, but Vitamin X tells him to scram, he'll do it himself. VX does indeed pull the barbed-wire plywood sheet off of Caboose, revealing Caboose's bloodied left arm. The crowd boos Vitamin X loudly. They chant for Caboose. VX leaves the ring and lifts up the ring apron to search for something. He comes out with a white bag. SCHIAVONE Now what? X throws the white bag into the ring, and then follows. X looks at Caboose, who is starting to get up, and smiles evilly. Prince Vitamin unties the white bag and then turns it upside down to reveal the contents of the bag. THUMBTACKS! SCHIAVONE Oh good. Just what this match needed! Vitamin X pours the bag of thumbtacks all around an area of the ring as Caboose continues getting up. X kicks some thumbtacks into place and then waits for Caboose to get to his feet. VENTURA This won't be pretty! Look at Caboose! His back, his left arm are bloodied! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X might be trying to bloody ANOTHER body part! Caboose uses the ropes to pull himself up. Blood is now on Vitamin X's chest. Vitamin X is tired of waiting, so he grabs Caboose and kicks him in the gut. X punches 'boose in the face several times. VENTURA I don't think either man knows what it feels like to have thumbtacks stuck to your body! SCHIAVONE One of them will find out now! Vitamin X continues punching Caboose in the face while the crowd buzzes in anticipation. They chant for Caboose. VX grabs Caboose, and lifts him up onto his shoulders. The crowd boos. SCHIAVONE The X-Clamation Point! He's going for The X-Clamation Point! VX holds Caboose in the air in a Torture Rack position. X screams out that Caboose is "FINISHED!" The X-Man stands next to the bed of thumbtacks, and then throws Caboose off of his shoulders, giving him a neckbreaker-- NO! Caboose lands on his feet behind Vitamin X! Caboose grabs Vitamin X and lifts him up in a back suplex position... AND THEN THROWS HIM ONTO THE THUMBTACKS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE & VENTURA ......................................... Vitamin X is HORRIFIED! He rolls around the bed of thumbtacks, screaming the loudest he's possibly screamed in his entire life! SCHIAVONE I don't believe it! I can't believe it! Did I just see what I just saw!?!? VENTURA You did Tony! Vitamin X! Those thumbtacks! He's not wearing any shirt! And there's no forcefield over his body! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is lying in a bed of thumbtacks! In all my years of wrestling, I have NEVER seen something like what I just saw! VX sits up. He screams even more when he sees a few of the thumbtacks are stuck on his chest! And not just that, but they're covering his fingers too! The camera does a closeup of X's back, now mostly covered in thumbtacks! VITAMIN X They're in the bone! They're in the bone! SCHIAVONE They're on his back! He's a human pin cushion! VENTURA Somebody get Princess Stacey away from the TV right now! She should NOT under any circumstances see this! X takes off some of the thumbtacks from his right arm, which allows the blood to start coming out. X is shaking in the ring, looking traumatized by what just happened. SCHIAVONE I see some thumbtacks on the back of his sweat pants! They're covering his sneakers! How much pain is he in right now!? Vitamin X is on his knees, in horrendous pain. The crowd cheers loudly. Caboose picks Prince Vitamin up and rolls him up! ONE~! TWO~! KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" VENTURA It's not over! It's STILL not over! SCHIAVONE How is that possible!? How could Vitamin X possibly kicked out after THAT!? VENTURA Vitamin X is showing the world just how tough he is tonight! Everyone underestimating him only adds more fuel to the fire! Caboose, left arm covered in blood, mouths, "Shit!" Meanwhile, Vitamin X frantically pulls some of the thumbtacks from his hands. But his back is still covered with them! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X found the strength to kick out! I'm shocked! VENTURA I'm not Tony! SCHIAVONE You're alone then, Jess! These fans can't believe it either! Caboose sits up. The crowd cheers. Vitamin X is still pulling the thumbtacks from his hands. He looks at Caboose saying, "You're crazy!" Then, The X-Man slides underneath the bottom rope and leaves the ringside area while STILL pulling thumbtacks out of his hands! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is leaving! VENTURA He's going to get those damn thumbtacks off of his body! I don't blame him for wanting to leave now! SCHIAVONE This match has no countouts! There must be a winner! VENTURA Who cares about that now? For crying out loud, HE HAS THUMBTACKS ON HIS BACK! SCHIAVONE I don't think Caboose cares how Vitamin X is feeling right now. Apparently not, because Caboose leaves the ring and punches Vitamin X in the back! VENTURA UGH! Vitamin X trips, but gets back up and runs away, with Caboose right behind him! VX tries to beg off, but Caboose power walks closer and closer to him. So, VX decides to climb the scaffolding that's holding up the AngleTron! The crowd cheers, hoping for a nasty fall. SCHIAVONE Look at this! Vitamin X is climbing the scaffolding! VENTURA And his hands are still covered with thumbtacks! Vitamin X doesn't get far, however, as Caboose grabs X by the waist band of his sweat pants and pulls him off the scaffolding onto the floor, with VX landing with a sickening THUD! CROWD GROAN! SCHIAVONE Oh my! That had to hurt! VENTURA Gee, you think! X lies on the floor, not moving. His blood shot eyes are looking right up at the ceiling. Caboose just stares at X with contempt on his face. SCHIAVONE Those thumbtacks are STILL in his back! VENTURA That just made that fall a thousand times worst! Vitamin X still hasn't moved. The crowd cheers. Jimmy Korderas checks on VX. He calls for some help. SCHIAVONE This match has gotten out of control! VENTURA It's been out of control ever since the bell rang, Tony! These two have been going at it like beasts! EMTs come out to check on Vitamin X. X starts moving his arms. SCHIAVONE He's been pierced and punctured! And then he took that NASTY fall! An instant replay shows Vitamin X's fall onto the floor. VENTURA And those thumbtacks are STILL on his back! I have no idea the pain Vitamin X is going through right now! SCHIAVONE Nobody should go through what Vitamin X is going through. His career, not to mention his LIFE will never be the same after this match! Referees Tim White, Mickey Jay, Charles Robinson, and Mike Chioda come out and tell Caboose to go to the back. Caboose leaves. But then changes his mind and attacks Tim White, Mickey Jay, Charles Robinson, and Mike Chioda! VENTURA He's striking referees now! SCHIAVONE Well, even though it's No Holds Barred, I can't really condone that. VENTURA Damn right! The crowd cheers loudly as Caboose climbs the scaffolding himself! VENTURA What? What the--? SCHIAVONE He's climbing that mechanism himself! VENTURA The hell? 'boose climbs higher and higher until he's near the AngleTron! The crowd cheers LOUDER! SCHIAVONE What is he doing!? What is he doing!? The EMTs and Jimmy Korderas try to get Caboose off of the scaffold, but it doesn't work. SCHIAVONE He's not gonna... VENTURA No... SCHIAVONE No way! This is career suicide! VENTURA I guess he hates Vitamin X this much! Caboose jumps off the scaffolding, doing a FROG SPLASH onto Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE OneWayTicket! OneWayTicket! Caboose with the OneWayTicket, his version of the Frog Splash, onto Vitamin X! VENTURA HOLY SHIT! The crowd can't believe it! Caboose stays on top of Vitamin X, covering him! Caboose hooks VX's legs! He orders Jimmy Korderas to make the count. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 KICCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCHIAVONE No! No! No! THAT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH! VENTURA I tell ya, this kid even surprises ME! And that doesn't happen very often! The crowd boos, thinking that was the finish. Caboose is shocked himself, but Jimmy Korderas puts up two fingers and that's final. SCHIAVONE Where did he find the strength to kick out? VENTURA I don't know. Vitamin X must be superhuman! Maybe that's why they call him The X-Man! SCHIAVONE You see the blood on Vitamin X's arms. His back still covered in thumbtacks! The toll this match has taken on X will be felt for years and years to come! Caboose stands up, a little wobbly. He argues with the referee, but Jimmy Korderas still insists it was only a two count. 'boose curses under his breath, and walks around, getting the blood rushing through his veins again. Meanwhile, Vitamin X is still on the floor, breathing hard, but the bleeding has stopped. VENTURA Caboose is wondering what's it going to take? How much more punishment must Vitamin X endure? HOW MUCH MORE!? The crowd chants, "CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE!" Caboose slowly picks up Vitamin X, who is almost knocked out, and drags him by his reddish hair back to the ring, punching him in the face along the way. VX manages to remove some of the thumbtacks from his body, leaving behind blood stains. Caboose throws Vitamin X underneath the bottom rope. SCHIAVONE And we're back in the ring. VENTURA And those thumbtacks are STILL there! SCHIAVONE Yes they are. And somehow I doubt Caboose is going to just leave them there unused! Caboose picks Vitamin X up. EndOfTheLine! SCHIAVONE This is how this whole feud started! VENTURA And this might be how it ends! Caboose covers X, hooking his left leg. The crowd counts along. CROWD ONE! TWO! THREE! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! SCHIAVONE And THAT wasn't it, either! Caboose sits up, and immediatley mouths, "DAMN!" The crowd starts booing. SCHIAVONE Caboose has to be absolutely frustrated! VENTURA Frustrated? He's gotta be shocked! Can you believe the endurance of Vitamin X? SCHIAVONE No I cannot. VENTURA Can you believe what he's withstood? What he's endured? SCHIAVONE We're certainly seeing a different side of Vitamin X here tonight. Caboose slowly gets back to his feet. He's breathing hard. Half of his facepaint is gone. 'boose runs his hands through his hair. He then slowly walks over to where the plywood sheet covered in barbed-wire is and picks it up, setting it against a turnbuckle corner. SCHIAVONE Caboose looking to inflict more damage with that board! VENTURA He's still up! I can't believe it either! SCHIAVONE We all know Caboose. If Caboose is breathing, he's fighting! VENTURA He might not be breathing for long if this keeps up! Caboose has set the barbed-wire plywood sheet up against the turnbuckle. He then walks over to grab Vitamin X who is resting on the outside. *THWACK!* Vitamin X hits Caboose in the face with the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! VENTURA He got him right between the eyes! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X has struck back with that Kendo Stick! VENTURA Wrapped in barbed-wire! That's HIS weapon! Caboose covers his face. Vitamin X twirls his Kendo Stick a little bit before heading back into the ring. Caboose gets up, and a cut appears over his forehead. SCHIAVONE We have more blood! As though this match needed it! Caboose is bleeding from the forehead in addition to his left arm and back! VENTURA Both of these men could donate enough blood for 8 people by now! SCHIAVONE Maybe 20 people too! Caboose is slowly back to his feet. He charges forward, and gets hit in the gut with the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! SCHIAVONE Goodness gracious! The crowd groans as the barbed-wire pierces Caboose's skin. VX has a little trouble pulling the barbed-wire out of Caboose's stomach! But when he does, he continues on, hitting the Kendo Stick into Caboose's bloodied back! Caboose falls to the mat, but X is not done yet, hitting 'boose in the back with the Kendo Stick again! And a third time! And a fourth time! A a FIFTH time! X does some faux-Kung Fu style twirling with the Kendo Stick, drawing boos! SCHIAVONE The OAOAST Legend is down! He is flat on his stomach! His face is a mixture of white face paint and red blood! This is the most punishment Caboose has taken in a match in a LONG time! VENTURA Caboose will never forget what Vitamin X has done to him, and I bet that's what Vitamin X wanted all along! VX throws the barbed-wire Kendo Stick aside. He slowly walks around the ring. X tries to do the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, but his back hurts too much he can't do it. VENTURA Look at that! Caboose has taken away his ability to do the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! SCHIAVONE Good. Maybe he'll stop doing it then! VENTURA Oh come on! That's crossing the line there, Tony! That's gone too far! SCHIAVONE Oh Jess, calm down! VX walks around the ring some more, trying to recover as quick as possible. Then, he walks on over to Caboose and picks up the bloodied, battered OAOAST Original. X saids something to 'boose's face, and then turns him around. X lifts Caboose up onto his shoulders---Caboose lands right on his feet! Caboose turns Vitamin X around, grabs him... EMERALD FUSION~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vitamin X delivers a low-blow to Caboose! SCHIAVONE That is absolutely legal. You can't complain about that! VENTURA You're right. For a change. Caboose's face is now covered in blood. Vitamin X lifts Caboose onto his shoulders into a Torture Rack position. He holds Caboose up on his shoulders for a few seconds...before throwing him off of his shoulders, giving him a neckbreaker on the way down! THE X-CLAMATION POINT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 SCHIAVONE The X-Clamation Point! He hit it! VENTURA That's the X-Clamation Point for this match! Vitamin X and Caboose both lie on the mat while the crowd stands up in shock. Both combatants are bloodied, battered, and breathing hard. Jimmy Korderas checks on the two men. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X hit it! He hit his finishing move! VENTURA I knew he would! He's going to do it! He's going to pull off the upset! Nobody saw it coming! That's gotta be it! Vitamin X raises his left hand in the air. He slowly turns to his side. He uses some more of his strength to push himself up. Prince Vitamin crawls over to Caboose's carcass, his face no longer white but completely red, and makes the cover, hooking Caboose's left leg. Jimmy Korderas counts. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999 3--LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VENTURA UNBELIEVABLE! SCHIAVONE CABOOSE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT OF THE X-CLAMATION POINT! VENTURA How did he do that!? I thought he was done far! SCHIAVONE So did these fans! The fans cheer loudly. Vitamin X's mouth is agape. X, the blood on his face dried, sits up, stunned. Caboose sits up as well, the blood still flowing from the cut on his forehead. Caboose crawls over to where his cricket bat is at and grabs it. VENTURA He's going for the bat, Schiavone! SCHIAVONE The bat's certainly done some damage in this match thus far! Caboose uses the ring ropes to pull himself up, while holding the cricket bat with his left hand. Vitamin X is slowly getting up. SCHIAVONE A collision is about to happen! That cricket bat is going to cause some pain, I'm sure it will! VENTURA Caboose is going to use that cricket bat on Vitamin X like he would use it while actually playing cricket! SCHIAVONE This match is about to get a whole lot more violent I think! VENTURA This isn't a match, it's a war! Caboose gets to a vertical base. He has trouble standing up. 'boose grabs hold of the cricket bat with both his hands and waits for Vitamin X to get up too. When he does, Caboose takes a swing with the cricket bat. BLOCKED! Vitamin X takes the cricket bat away from Caboose... AND BREAKS IT OVER HIS RIGHT KNEE! SCHIAVONE Oh my God! VENTURA That's symbolism, Tony! Vitamin X is finishing off Caboose's career! Caboose is shocked! That gives Vitamin X enough time to sandwich Caboose's head in between the two pieces of the cricket bat! VENTURA Oh! That's a new one! Caboose covers his ears in pain and stumbles around the ring. Vitamin X throws the two pieces of the cricket bat onto the mat. Vitamin X then grabs Caboose and lifts him up onto his shoulders again in a Torture Rack position. VENTURA He's going for it! He's going to do it again! Vitamin X parades around the ring with Caboose on his shoulders. X has a look of RAGE~! on his face. He yells out a battle cry before throwing the weakened Caboose off his shoulders and giving him a neckbreaker on the way down! Caboose's back lands on the top half of the cricket bat! SCHIAVONE The X-Clamation Point! VENTURA On the cricket bat! How's that for irony? Vitamin X quickly covers Caboose, hooking both legs. Jimmy Korderas counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (21:02) SCHIAVONE It's over! By George, it's over! VENTURA He did it! He finally did it! The crowd is surprised that that's the finish. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. Vitamin X lies on top of Caboose, breathing a sigh of relief. BUFFER Here is your winner...VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!" The X-Man rolls off of Caboose and gets his hand raised by Jimmy Korderas. X lies on the mat for a few more minutes while his theme song continues playing. VENTURA The Legend Killer lives! The X-Man has beaten the OAOAST Original! He has beaten Caboose 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring! SCHIAVONE Uh-huh. And he didn't need anybody's help. The Lightning Crew adhered to the stipulation. He did it on all his own, fair and squared. He used his natural ability, his brains, and some weapons to put Caboose down for the count. Vitamin X proved to all of us tonight just how much of a man he really is! VENTURA He did it! He has finally shown the world just how great he is! SCHIAVONE And maybe, just maybe, he has gotten Caboose's RESPECT! VENTURA He better had. Or else Vitamin X might beat him up some more! VX rolls across the ring to the ring apron. The blood has stopped flowing all over his body, but he is still in tremendous pain. X wipes some blood off his forehead and then chuckles, happy over his victory. Caboose is still lying on the mat. SCHIAVONE We said this would be a night Vitamin X would never forget, and I'm sure he won't! This was the most brutal, most violent, most FIERCE match Vitamin X has ever been in! The bloodied Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew took EVERYTHING Caboose gave him and after two X-Clamation Points, the second of which was on a piece of the cricket bat, the X-Man, the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew, came out the victor in what will go down as the biggest win of his career thus far! VENTURA People will look at Vitamin X differently from now on. Before he was just PRL's lackey. After tonight, he IS a SUPERSTAR! SCHIAVONE Well, you could certainly say he earned it. He worked hard for this victory. VENTURA He sure did, Tony! He sure did! Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey come out. Cuban Wall checks on his regular tag team partner, while Princess Stacey gives Prince Vitamin a hug and a kiss. Stacey's eyes are watery as she hugs her boyfriend some more. SCHIAVONE There's Cuban Wall, Vitamin X's partner in Brains & Brawn. VENTURA And there's Princess Stacey! Look at her! She's horrified! She can't believe what her Prince went through in that match! She's cuddling him like a puppy! SCHIAVONE Another BIG victory for The Lightning Crew tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! VENTURA Tha Puerto Rican must be VERY pleased with this match! VERY much so! "Bling-Bling" continues playing as Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey help the weakened Vitamin X off the ring apron onto the floor. Wall and Princess Stacey help Vitamin X walk back to the entrance. Cuban Wall swats at any fan trying to touch X, while Princess Stacey goes back and forth between being happy for her man's victory, while at the same time being worried for his health. Vitamin X, despite being in horrible, horrible pain, still finds the strength inside of him to raise his right hand in victory. Cuban Wall takes some of the thumbtacks off of Vitamin X's back. VENTURA I don't think this is so much a congratulations as it's picking up the pieces, so to speak. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X's body went through SO much damage in this one match! He might have cut a few years off of his career! VENTURA But at least his career will continue! I'm not so sure about Caboose's career now! SCHIAVONE You know, you may be right. I think Caboose's comeback has been cut short tonight! VENTURA And if it has, then Mission: Accomplished! Caboose sits up. The crowd cheers. 'boose breathes a heavy sigh of sadness. VENTURA Look at Caboose. It was his own cricket bat. The same cricket bat he has used for five years now! It was THAT weapon that led to his downfall! It was the one thing he thought could take out Vitamin X. It was THAT weapon that spelled his doom! It's very Hollywood-like in it's irony. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X picked up the pinfall on a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! He is STILL on his feet, while Caboose is only now starting to get up. This has to be considered a major upset tonight on OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! He will never forget this day, no doubt about that! When you ask Vitamin X what he did on Saturday April 28, 2007, he's going to tell you, 'I beat Caboose in a No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match!' Cuban Wall chuckles a little as he, Vitamin X, and Princess Stacey continue their walk back to the entrance. All Vitamin X can say is "Uhhhhhhhh....". Caboose is up and raising his hands, a defeated man. The crowd still gives him a standing ovation. VENTURA What a match. What a FIGHT is more like it! But look at Vitamin X. He's going to need the best plastic surgery money can buy! Luckily he has the money that can buy the best plastic surgery in the world! I mean, look at what he went through in this match! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Cut to replays of the match, starting with Caboose throwing Vitamin X into the bed of thumbtacks. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X fought on, even after getting thrown into those thumbtacks. His back was literally COVERED in thumbtacks! VENTURA Oh, that's so painful to watch! His back, his arms, his feet! Jesus Christ, that had to be painful! Cut to Caboose doing the OneWayTicket onto Vitamin X from the scaffolding. SCHIAVONE Then Caboose threw Vitamin X onto the cold hard concrete, and followed that up by going up the scaffolding himself and jumping off with the OneWayTicket, a move we haven't seen in quite a while! VENTURA Caboose probably pushed those thumbtacks FURTHER into X's back! He had no shirt on. His body took ALL of that! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X felt 225 lbs. crashing onto him with no mat underneath him! That was just bare concrete! Cut to Caboose trying to hit Vitamin X with the cricket bat, but X grabbing the bat and breaking it over his right knee. Then following it up by giving Caboose the X-Clamation Point. SCHIAVONE And then, came the ending. Caboose looked to use his trusty cricket bat like he's done countless times before. But Vitamin X was ready this time. He grabbed the bat and BROKE it over his knee! Then use the broken pieces as a new weapon, then giving Caboose the X-Clamation Point, with Caboose's bare back hitting part of the cricket bat! VENTURA That was symbolism, Tony Schiavone! Vitamin X was symbolically ending Caboose's career by breaking his cricket bat! That one bat has hurt every OAOAST superstar, Zack Malibu, CWM, Stephen Joseph Popick, Alfdogg! That one bat was BROKEN by Vitamin X! Doesn't that say something!? SCHIAVONE Uh... VENTURA Yes it does. Vitamin X was the biggest threat Caboose has ever faced! And on this night, Vitamin X proved once and for all that he is BETTER than Caboose! SCHIAVONE It was indeed The X-Man's night! He showed the world what he was truly made of, and I think every OAOAST fan watching will never forget the image of Vitamin X being thrown into the thumbtacks! VENTURA Or Vitamin X giving Caboose the X-Clamation on that piece of the cricket bat. SCHIAVONE Yes. That too. VENTURA Most definitely. Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Princess Stacey stop at the entrance. Cuban Wall taunts the fans since Vitamin X is unable too. Princess Stacey smiles evilly. Vitamin X just holds onto Stacey and cracks a weak smile. The fans boo loudly. Caboose is being helped by the EMTs in the ring. SCHIAVONE What a war. VENTURA Both men are battle scarred. This match has taken a toll on the both of them mentally and physically. Vitamin X may have won, but Caboose put up a fight too. SCHIAVONE He did, Jess. But only Vitamin X can say he won this match. And he did it on his own. Without any help from The Lightning Crew whatsoever. VENTURA Has your opinion of Vitamin X changed? SCHIAVONE Eh...a little. VENTURA A little? That's it!? SCHIAVONE Okay...maybe more than a little. VENTURA Oh come on, Tony! Vitamin X just went through hell! What more do you want!? SCHIAVONE I still think he's an obnoxious spazz who should shut his mouth...but at least I know he can fight too. VENTURA Oh Tony. I don't know what to do to help you. Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey raise Vitamin X's hands in victory. They both laugh manically. Vitamin X finally shows some emotion, cracking a cocky smirk on his bloody face. Caboose is sitting on the ring apron, his back, left arm, his left hand, and face completely covered in blood, breathing hard. The EMTs are still checking on him. SCHIAVONE These two men will no doubt EVER be the same again! We did see a different side of Vitamin X tonight. A side perhaps we'll see more of in the future! We said this would be the first...last...and possibly ONLY time we would see this match...and I think we were right! VENTURA "First Time...Last Time...Only Time". Truer words were never spoken! Vitamin X is on the road to the top now, Schiavone! The future is bright for Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE But maybe not so much for Caboose! VENTURA Vitamin X has DESTROYED the legend of Caboose! Just like his shirt said! All Hail Prince Vitamin! He's not just The X-Man, right now, he's THE MAN! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is on cloud nine now! He has beaten an OAOAST Original, a founding member of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Vitamin X has come out of the shadows here tonight! What a memorable match we just witnessed! And we still got ONE MORE MATCH left! We'll be right back with the main event of OAOAST Syndicated in primetime, right after this! Caboose slowly gets off the ring apron, crushed. Cuban Wall taunts the camera. Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey help Vitamin X walk through the curtains while the crowd boos and "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing. The camera shows the entrance, and this is the last image we see before we go to commercial. FADE TO BLACK CUE: School's Out commercial Eerie music plays as "Reckless" Drek Stone is shown walking to the ring in slow motion, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist. NARRATOR He is the longest reigning World Heavyweight Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history. The screen turns to black. NARRATOR But you wouldn't notice. Cut to clips of Drek Stone beating "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican at World Without End, Tony Brannigan and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix at New Year's Spectacular: Mainframe Monday, and Zack Malibu at AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone. Cut to Drek celebrating his victories. COLE Drek Stone has held the World Title for NINE months now, and yet has only defended the Title THREE TIMES! Cut to Zack Malibu walking to the ring in slow motion. Eerie music continues playing. NARRATOR And now, one man looks to put a stop to his reign. HIGH IMPACT ROCK MUZAK~! plays as clips of Zack and Drek's various confrontations are shown! COLE Zack and Drek are going at it! COACH Zack Malibu has had enough of Drek Stone! NARRATOR On May 27th, one man looks to restore pride and honor into the richest prize in the industry! Cut to Zack Malibu fighting various opponents and playing to the fans. NARRATOR (CONT'D) While the other looks to keep his success going for another month! Cut to "Reckless" Drek Stone fighting various opponents and being a prick to the fans. NARRATOR ZACK MALIBU Cut to Zack Malibu posing in a broken down warehouse with the words "ZACK MALIBU" appearing in big, black blocky letters. NARRATOR vs. "RECKLESS" DREK STONE Cut to "Reckless" Drek Stone posing in a broken down warehouse with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his hands with the words "DREK STONE" appearing in big, black blocky letters. NARRATOR In an AngleMania REMATCH! Cut to Drek Stone beating Zack Malibu at AngleSlam 2005 and AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone. NARRATOR Will Stone get his third victory? Cut to Zack Malibu raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt at AngleMania II and AngleMania III. NARRATOR Or will Malibu get his third title reign? Cut to more footage of Zack and Drek's numerous brawls while the generic rock music continues playing. COLE How personal can this get? COACH It's a war between these two! The OAOAST School's Out 2007 logo appears on screen with ordering information in big white blocky letters. The generic rock music continues playing. NARRATOR Publix Supermarket presents OAOAST School's Out! Sunday May 27th at 8:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time/5:00 P.M. Pacific live only on pay-per-view! Call your local cable or satelite provider to order now! School's Out: Where One Legend Dies... Zack? Drek? ...And One Legend Is Reborn. Drek? Zack? The commercial ends there. The generic rock music also ends. Other commercials Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen.The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover)In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance.Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows.And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing.Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror....and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM.But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Stevens looking off into the distance.The bitter world that they could unite... Head shot of Axel staring off into the distance.And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement.World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? Return to the announce booth with Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. SCHIAVONE World Domination Wrestling will have it's world premiere Saturday June 2nd, and I for one, am excited for this, Jess! It'll be nice to have some REAL competition for once! VENTURA I'm a little hesitant about this, Tony. I mean, Alfdogg has taken some of the OAOAST's best wrestlers away from us for his own little company with Axel! I can't believe that nobody's done anything about it! SCHIAVONE I think it's too late now, Jess. We have to accept it. WDW, after many years of anticipation, WILL begin in less than 2 months. People have been talking about this for years, and now it will finally happen. And speaking of stuff that people will talk about for a long time, what an amazing match we just saw! We just saw Vitamin X prove just how much of a man he is by defeating Caboose without ANY help from The Lightning Crew at all! VENTURA That match will change Vitamin X's life FOREVER, Tony! I'm sure of it! SCHIAVONE We also saw a successful title defense from Cuban Wall at the start of this show. The Lightning Crew has done pretty good tonight, continuing their impressive win streak from AngleMania VI earlier this month. Can they go for the sweep coming up next? Will Tha Puerto Rican leave St. Louis still the OAOAST X-Division Champion? Or will Bohemoth become the biggest X-Division Champion in OAOAST history? These two men have had several run-ins over the past month, but this will be the first ever one-on-one match between the two of them! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. The match-up graphic for “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican vs. Bohemoth match appears on screen. The crowd cheers. VENTURA Oh, I'm looking forward to this one, Tony Schiavone! For the first time in the five year history of the OAOAST, Tha Puerto Rican will collide with “The Metrosexual Monster”! And, even though it *looks* like PRL has been running away from Bohemoth these past few weeks, he's been merely saving himself for this match-up! Now, everyone in this arena will see what Tha Puerto Rican is all about! SCHIAVONE Somehow I doubt that is the truth, Jess. Anyway, this match has its roots in a tag team match that took place three weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!. Dance Dance Dragon and Bohemoth took on PRL and Cuban Wall in a match stemming from what happened at AngleMania VI when both Bo and Dragon were SCREWED out of their respective titles by Wall and PRL, respectively. P.R. absolutely refused to be tagged in whenever Bohemoth was in the ring, but got his hands dirty whenever Dragon was weakened! Towards the end, things got a little bit hectic. Then this happened... The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the April 12, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. We see the ending of the PRL/Wall vs. DDD/Bohemoth match.Meanwhile, on the outside, there's a commotion as Michael Buffer is on his feet. The reason being, his chair is gone, now in the hand of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who sneaks it to PRL and points out to her man that there's no referee. Which is all the excuse PRL needs as he slides into the ring with chair in hand. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Watch out now, PRL with a chair! As Dragon climbs to his feet, his lack of peripheral vision would seem to indicate he doesn't see PRL stalking behind him. PR waves Triple D to his feet, virtually ignoring the battle between Cuban Wall and Bohemoth, as The Metrosexual Monster suddenly lunges forward and takes Wall down with a desperation clothesline! As Bo pushes himself back up, Dragon meanwhile turns aimlessly around, right into the path of Tha Puerto Rican who's waiting with a wild home-run swing with the chair... *CRACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...SMASHING BOHEMOTH RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH A THUNDEROUS CHAIRSHOT!!! COACH What a shot! That's how you swing a chair baby! Lindsay and Popick jump on the outside, celebrating the vicious chairshot as you'd expect them to. But in stark contrast, PRL isn't celebrating. He stands over Bohemoth in shock, the chair hanging at his side as he freezes in horror at what just happened. Infact, it's left to Cuban Wall to deal with Dance Dance Dragon, marching past PRL and clotheslining Triple D hard enough to knock him right out of the ring. Lindsay hurriedly yells at her future hubby to get rid of the chair but PRL doesn't seem to hear her, just watching as Wall backs off the ropes, passing PR on his way back with the LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH on Bohemoth!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With his one good eye, Nick Patrick is guided over to the pin by Popick, Wall covering tightly for the... 1... 2... AND THREE!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Wall got him again! COLE Again thanks to a chair! And by PRL's hands... I don't think he can quite believe what just happened. Quickly PRL backs out of the ring, still holding the dented chair as he still sports a shocked look on his face. Lindsay and Popick guide him out, handing him his X-Division Championship, as Wall exits on the other side of the ring and raises his fist in victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of THE CUBAN WALL and THA PUERTO RICAN... THE LIGHTNIIIIINNGG CCRRRRREEEEEWWWWWWWWW!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Wall seems pretty happy but PRL still doesn't look too happy about what just happened, watching wide-eyed as Bohemoth has groggily sat up. And as he looks up at the aisleway, it's clear to the world that he is PISSED~! PRL hides the dented chair behind his back in perhaps the most pathetic attempt at innocence ever, before discarding the chair altogether and scuttling ahead off towards the back while Bo slumps back to the canvas holding his head. COLE The Lightning Crew may have scored the victory... but I think PRL just signed his own death warrant! SCHIAVONE It was clear to everyone watching that Tha Puerto Rican had no intention of hitting Bohemoth with that chair. So the next week, PRL went to HeldDOWN~! and TRIED to give Bohemoth an apology. Cut to the April 19, 2007 edition of OAOAST Syndicated and PRL's promo.THA PUERTO RICAN I did not, DID NOT, DID NOT mean to hit you in the head with a chair, Bohemoth! It was an accident. If you look at the footage, you can clearly see me aiming for Dance Dance Dragon! I had no intention of hitting you Bo. It was an accident, and I'm sorry. That's right. You heard me. I'm sorry. Tha Puerto Rican apologizes to you, Bohemoth! So let bygones be bygones and let's move on, okay? Okay! (CLIP) Bohemoth power walks down the entrance ramp, PISSED OFF beyond belief! (CLIP) Bohemoth lifts PRL up! The crowd cheers! COACH Hey! You get your hands off of him! COLE Bohemoth has lifted PRL off the mat! Look at that! COACH AAAH! GET HIM DOWN! GET HIM DOWN! BOHEMOTH You say you're sorry? You say you're sorry!? WELL I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! PRL (Terrified) You—you--you don't!? I'm serious! I really am sorry! I really am SORRY! BOHEMOTH You're lying and you know it, P.R.! You ain't sorry for a damn thing! PRL BUT I AM SORRY! I AM! WHAT—WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO PROVE TO YOU THAT I'M SORRY!? WHAT—DO YOU—DO YOU WANT—DO YOU WANT VITAMIN X TO GIVE YOU SOME MONEY? DO—DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH LINDSAY? I CAN ARRANGE THAT! JUST FOR GODSAKES, LET ME GO! BOHEMOTH I want a match! A match against you! PRL Match against me? You got it! You have your wish! BOHEMOTH And I want the X-Division Title on the line! PRL Fine with me! You got it! You got a shot at my belt! Whatever you want big man! BOHEMOTH And I want it at OAOAST Syndicated! PRL Fine! Fine! You/me, X-Division Title, OAOAST Syndicated! There you go! NOW LET ME GO! BOHEMOTH No. It's not going to be that simple. Oh no. Right now, I'm going to give you a little preview of what to expect on OAOAST Syndicated in two weeks! PRL NO! NO! NO! OH NO! OH GOD NO! HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME! COACH SOMEBODY HELP HIM! SOMEBODY SAVE HIM! COLE Who's gonna save Tha Puerto Rican!? Cuban Wall, that's who! Wall slides into the ring and beats on Bohemoth from behind, causing Bo to drop PRL. For now. PRL quickly slides out of the ring while Cuban Wall slugs it out with Bohemoth. The crowd cheers! COLE Bohemoth and Cuban Wall going at it! Again! Bo and Wall go left and right, right and left! Then, Bo suddenly gets the advantage, hitting Cuban Wall with right jabs to the face! The punches daze the Muscle of The Lightning Crew! COACH Wall, what are you waiting for? Kick his ass! COLE I think Bohemoth is better than Cuban Wall, Coach! COACH No way, Cole! No way! Bohemoth removes his tan sports jacket, and grabs Wall. COLE The Erotic Awakening Of B! Not quite, as The Bone Thug enters the ring...and gets a big boot to the face for his trouble! Vitamin X enters the ring, and he too gets beaten by Bohemoth! Mr. Boricua enters the ring, and he slugs it out with Bo, while Vitamin X gets up and joins up with Mr. B. The two men pile up on the 6'7” Bohemoth! COLE And it looks like The Lightning Crew finally has Bohemoth cornered! COACH Yeah! That's it! Keep him there! Keep him there! The crowd boos. Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X keep hammering Bohemoth! Bohemoth is on his right knee as he keeps getting hit in the face by two LC members! COLE I think Bohemoth maybe in trouble! COACH He can't handle it! No way can he handle Vitamin X AND Mr. Boricua! Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua pile up on Bohemoth. Bohemoth shoves Vitamin X off his feet! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Bohemoth head butts Mr. Boricua, dazing the giant. Bo beats on Boricua. Left! Right! Left! Right! The punches take Mr. Boricua to the ropes. Bo takes a few steps back, and then fires off with a MURDERLINE~! that takes Mr. Boricua over the top rope and onto the floor, where he lands on his feet! COLE Mr. Boricua is out of the ring! COACH But he's on his feet, and that's all that counts! Thomas Rodriguez hops onto the back of Bohemoth's neck. Bohemoth grabs Thomas and gives him a snapmare takeover onto the mat. COLE Thanks for stopping by, Thomas! Cuban Wall grabs Bo and starts punching him in the face! COLE And back to Wall and Bohemoth we go! Total chaos in the ring, brought on by The Lightning Crew! Wall and Bo slug it out, only this time, Wall seems to have the advantage. Wall's massive right hands stagger the former OAOAST 24/7 Champion! Wall grabs Bohemoth by his left hand and gives him an Irish whip—Bohemoth reverses—NO!--Wall reverses-- *WHAM!* AND PRL HITS BOHEMOTH IN THE HEAD WITH A STEEL CHAIR! COACH Yes! Yes! He did it again! Bohemoth collapses to the mat! PRL has the McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face as he looks down at Bohemoth. COLE Bohemoth has been knocked to the mat! PRL, for the second straight week, has used a chair on Bohemoth! The Lightning Crew all stand back, fearing that Bohemoth might get up. PRL stands still, holding the dented chair with both his hands. Bohemoth lies unconscious. COLE What a chairshot! PRL got him right on the top of his head! COACH He's gotta have a concussion. Even big men can't stand chairshots! Garbage is thrown into the ring. Bohemoth starts moving his arms and legs. Seeing this, PRL heads to a turnbuckle corner and readies himself for another chairshot. COLE Oh no. He's not going to try this again is he? No way! Bo forces himself to rest on his side. PRL mouths, “Come on!” But when Bohemoth starts to sit up, his expression changes from determination to fear. Bo sits up, causing PRL to begin regretting hitting Bo with a chair again. COLE Uh-oh! Bohemoth is up! COACH Again, P.R.! Again! Bo's eyes are glazed over. He slowly pulls himself up to his left knee. *WHAM!* AND PRL HITS HIM IN THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR AGAIN! COACH That's three times! Three times now! COLE ANOTHER chairshot! Dammit! Bohemoth is out cold! Bohemoth lies spread-eagle on the mat. And not only that, but he's also got something coming down his forehead. COLE Oh my. Bohemoth...is bleeding. COACH He did it! He finally did it! PRL has taken down the “Metrosexual Monster”! COLE Bohemoth has been busted open! And...did PRL really do that? REALLY!? Like seriously!? COACH He did it, Mikey! Tha Puerto Rican is Tha Bohemoth Killer! Blood pours down Bohemoth's face, and soon he is wearing the crimson mask. COLE I don't think that's ever happened before! I don't think anyone, ANYONE has busted Bohemoth open before! COACH And Tha Puerto Rican is making history! He has done what nobody else has ever done! Bohemoth is really bleeding! PRL has made the monster see red! COLE I think Bohemoth was seeing red already! Stephen Joseph Popick enters the ring and stands in awe of what just happened. PRL has no emotion on his face. He just stares at the fallen Bohemoth. The Lightning Crew can't believe what PRL has done either. Garbage continues getting thrown into the ring. COLE This is unbelievable! In two years in the OAOAST, I don't think anybody has done what PRL just did to Bohemoth! COACH This is what happens when you mess with Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth! It doesn't matter how tall you are! PRL will turn you into a little man by the time he's done with you! Bohemoth starts moving again. Once he starts sitting up, PRL and Popick look at each other, and leave the ring, PRL still holding onto the dented steel chair. The Lightning Crew quickly leave the ring too. COLE I think PRL just realized what he's done! COACH Bohemoth is gonna be in for a lot of pain come April 28th! COLE Bohemoth OR Tha Puerto Rican you mean! COACH No, Bohemoth! Definitely Bohemoth! Definitely! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick walk up the entrance ramp in awe. Tha Puerto Rican looks at the chair, looks at Bohemoth, and then looks at the chair again. Blood continues pouring down Bohemoth's face as OAOAST Road Agents come out to help Bohemoth get up. Bo is FURIOUS, even if he is shaking thanks to the two chairshots to the skull. The crowd chants “BO-HE-MOTH!” The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen again. SCHIAVONE PRL had done what no one had expected, and cut the monster down to size. But Bohemoth and PRL weren't done with each other yet. Last Thursday on HeldDOWN~!, the following happened. The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican's promo on the April 26, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!.PRL The first time it was one chairshot! The second time was two charishots! The third time, Bohemoth, I don't care what it takes! It could be a damn mack truck! One things for sure, Bohemoth, this Saturday on OAOAST Syndicated, “The Corporate Champion” will be standing tall! Bohemoth will be flat on his back! And Tha Puerto Rican, The P.R. Menace, will dance all over his corpse and spit on his grave! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-- *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* The crowd EXPLODES as “Liberate” by Disturbed begins playing. The entrance doors slide open, and Bohemoth himself comes out. In one of his pimp suits, Bo plays to the crowd and then points a menacing finger at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL is speechless. COLE Uh-oh! Bohemoth is out here! And so is PRL! Bohemoth looks at the crowd...and then runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring! PRL quickly leaves the ring himself, causing the crowd to boo! COLE And once again, PRL escapes Bohemoth's grasp! COACH He's saving himself up for Saturday, Cole! That's all! COLE He better hope Bohemoth doesn't get his hand on him later on tonight in the 8-Man Tag Team Match! PRL walks around ringside, wagging a finger and going, “No! Not now! Not now!” He walks up the entrance ramp, staring at Bohemoth who stares back. Just then, the crowd starts booing loudly as from the crowd, Cuban Wall appears, climbing over the top rope and entering the ring! COLE Look! Look! Cuban Wall turns Bohemoth around and grabs his throat! However, Bohemoth kicks Wall in his gut several times, breaking the goozle! He then starts punching Wall in his face! COLE Bohemoth is fighting back! Wall is in trouble! Bohemoth engages in a slugfest with Cuban Wall! Back and forth they go, until Bohemoth gains the advantage! Wall is dazed and confused as Bohemoth grabs him and whips him into the ropes—Wall reverses—Bohemoth goes over the top rope and onto the floor when PRL grabs the top rope! HOWEVER, Bohemoth lands on his feet! PRL Oh no! COLE PR didn't want that! Bohemoth grabs PRL's throat with his bare hands! COLE Yes! Yes! But Mr. Boricua hammers him from behind, allowing PRL to escape! COLE Oh damnit! COACH And you say I'M biased? REALLY!? Mr. Boricua beats on Bohemoth, garnering boos! Soon, The Bone Thug joins in on the beating! The two Lightning Crew members beat on “The Metrosexual Monster”, causing the crowd to chant his name. “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” COLE Bohemoth is in trouble! He's being manhandled by two men! Mr. Boricua goes for a punch—BLOCKED! Bohemoth fires off with a punch! He fires off with another one! And another one! Bohemoth spears Mr. Boricua into a barricade! He then punches him some more! COLE Bohemoth has struck back! The Lightning Crew can't seem to keep him down for long! Bo attacks Mr. Boricua, and then turns his attention to The Bone Thug, grabbing him and throwing him onto the floor! COACH Look out Bone Thug! Dammit, how do you say 'look out' in Spanish? The crowd cheers as Bohemoth stalks Bone Thug on the floor with a smile on his face. *WHAM!* PRL ATTACKS BOHEMOTH FROM BEHIND WITH THE STEEL CHAIR! COLE Again! For the third time! PRL hits Bohemoth in the back with the chair again! COACH Make that a FOURTH time, Cole! The crowd boos loudly! Bohemoth collapses onto the floor! PRL has a look of RAGE on his face as he watches Bohemoth on the ground. COLE Bohemoth is down! PRL got him with the chair again! COACH This is just a little preview of Saturday, Cole! Bohemoth is dead meat! Bohemoth slowly gets to his knees. He crawls around the ringside area, severely weaken by the chairshots. PRL makes things worst by hitting Bohemoth in the back with the chair again! COACH FIVE TIMES! That's five times, Mikey! How many men can say that they've done that before? HOW MANY!? COLE Bohemoth is in a bad way here! COACH Thanks to Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And a chair. COACH But more importantly Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And a chair. COACH Shut up, Cole. Bohemoth is only stopped for a few seconds, before he starts moving again. PRL takes this as a sign to leave running up the entrance ramp with the steel chair in his hands. Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug follow him. COACH PRL keeps using chairs as weapons! I think he's found Bohemoth's kryptonite! Cut to PRL's promo afterwards.PRL I took him down. I. Took. Bohemoth. Out! I busted him open! I made him BLEED! I DID IT! ME! THA PUERTO RICAN! And then, suddenly, the hype was gone. The myth had disappeared. And I finally realized something. Bohemoth isn't a god! He isn't a monster! No! Bohemoth is human! And humans can be hurt. Humans can be feel pain. Humans...can bleed. And I did all those things to Bohemoth. And I intend to do more of the same this Saturday night on OAOAST Syndicated when I put my OAOAST X-Division Title on the line against him one-on-one! Bohemoth is in for the fight of his life this Saturday! If he thinks I'm just gonna roll over and die, HE'S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! For it will be ME who does the killing this Saturday! I've drawn first blood, and on OAOAST Syndicated in two days, I will draw last blood. IF BOHEMOTH CAN BLEED, BOHEMOTH CAN DIE! PRL walks away, bumping Josh Matthews while doing so. The crowd boos. The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen again. We return to live action with a crowd shot. SCHIAVONE And so that brings us to today! Bohemoth is looking for some revenge in addition to another title reign, his first X-Division Title reign. And if he wins, he'll most surely be the biggest X-Division Champion the OAOAST ever had! VENTURA And it's nice to hear you say, 'if' he wins. You're giving PRL a chance. He might not be as tall as Bohemoth, but his speed, his endurance, and his INTELLIGENCE will help him defeat the mighty Bohemoth one-two-three! SCHIAVONE Well, never doubt Tha Puerto Rican. The Lightning Crew IS in the building. VENTURA Oh come on, Tony! Tha Puerto Rican's going to win using his talent! Not The Lightning Crew! SCHIAVONE It would certainly be the first time he's won because of that! VENTURA Hey! SCHIAVONE We've taken our last commercial break. You will see this match uncut! Let's go to the ring for the main event of this edition of OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! *DING DING DING* The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role '99” begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway, and strobe lights appear around the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, and out from the curtains and through the smoke come “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, his manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick, and his fiancée and the OAOAST Women's Champion, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, wearing a black tanktop, a dog collar around her neck, gold bracelets on her left wrist, a watch on her right wrist, black tight jeans with a skull and crossbones belt buckle, and black heel boots. Oh, and she's got pink highlights in her jet black hair now. The crowd boos loudly. VENTURA Stand up Schiavone! THE CHAMP IS HERE! PRL, wearing his HBK-like entrance attire of a blue vest and blue chaps, “smells the electricity”. He looks at the crowd in disgust while he and Lindsay raise the OAOAST X-Division Championship and OAOAST Women's Championship belts over their heads. Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his left shoulder, and then looks at Lindsay, who slings the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her right shoulder. They both look at Popick, who is holding PRL's black spray-painted briefcase containing his Golden Contract, and the three of them begin their walk down the aisle as “Know Your Role '99” continues playing. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining, and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Championship! Introducing first. Coming down the aisle. Accompanied to the ring by manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick, and his fiancée, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion of the woooooorrrrllllllllddddddddddd! “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The crowd boos. PRL puts his right arm over Lindsay's shoulders as they walk to the ring. SCHIAVONE The Corporate Champ is oozing with confidence as he steps into the ring for the biggest match he's ever had, based on simply how BIG Bohemoth is! VENTURA PRL has dealt with big men before, though! John “Rock Hard” Brickston, Cuban Wall. SCHIAVONE And PRL needed help to beat Brickston both times! As for Wall, well, we all know about that whole 'Conspiracy' that took place last year! VENTURA Yeah, that was great! Tha Puerto Rican, Popick, and Lindsay climb up the ring steps, with Lindsay stopping to chastise the guys who are staring at her ass. This just so happens to play into PR's usual sneering at the crowd on the ring apron, so PRL takes the time out of his usual routine to scold those same guys, threatening bodily harm. Lindsay holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. Popick follows. SCHIAVONE The Lightning Crew is out here! You've got Lindsay Gonzalez, the OAOAST Women's Champion, who by the way, hasn't defended the belt at all since winning it! VENTURA The OAOAST Women's Division is afraid of Lindsay! That's the thing! Nobody has stepped up to the plate, and frankly, I don't blame them! SCHIAVONE We're getting close to the 30-day mark with no title defenses. You think Popick's gonna enforce the 30-day rule like he did with the 24/7 Title, or will he let it slide just because a Lightning Crew member is holding the Women's Title? VENTURA Oh let's not start that again! That was two years ago! Get over it! SCHIAVONE I'm just sayin'. PRL spins around; soaking in the fans' boos while “Know Your Role '99” continues playing. PRL points to the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt and then lies it in front of him. He does the HBK-muscle pose while Popick stands behind him and raises the spray-painted briefcase while Lindsay stands next to Puerto and raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt with her right hand. Pyro explodes behind Popick. The crowd is still booing. PRL grabs the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt and his black spray-painted briefcase and heads to a second turnbuckle, where he raises both items up to boos. PRL heads to another second turnbuckle and raises both items again. Puerto Rican then heads to a third second turnbuckle and raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt with his right hand and “smells the electricity” ala The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. VENTURA Look at PRL. He's not scared! He's not shaking in his boots! Look at him! He's ready! He's got his manager and his wife-to-be with him and they've got the best seat in the house! SCHIAVONE Oh, he might not be showing any fear on the outside, but we'll see how he reacts when the bell rings and Bohemoth is standing only a few feet away from him! THEN, we'll see if that fear comes out! VENTURA He's not scared! He's gonna be all fire when the bell rings! He came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and he's all out of bubblegum! No seriously, he just spit some gum out. SCHIAVONE Well, the way he's acted these past three weeks isn't making me think that he's full of confidence going up against Bohemoth tonight! VENTURA He's playing you, Tony! He's 'frontin'' as the kids say. Watch. When the match starts, you're going to see a completely different side of Tha Puerto Rican! Just you wait! Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring, and his HBK-like entrance attire while the lights go back on in the arena. PRL chats with Popick and Lindsay. SCHIAVONE “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. First time he's ever faced Bohemoth, and it will be for the OAOAST X-Division Championship! And if Bohemoth wins, then he'll be the tallest X-Division Champion in OAOAST history, at 6'7” 284 lbs of pure muscle! VENTURA Schiavone, put your tongue back in your mouth! Stop salivating over him! SCHIAVONE Oh will you stop? PRL kisses the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt and hands it over to referee Nick Soapdish. Nick Soapdish raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head to let the crowd know that this is a championship match, and then hands the belt over to a ringside attendant. Popick hugs PRL, and Lindsay gives Puerto a kiss on his left cheek. Lindsay and Popick then leave the ring as PRL bounces off the ropes to prepare for his match. “BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!” “BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!” “BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!” “BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!” SCHIAVONE These fans are trying to psych out PRL already! VENTURA It's not working. Tha Puerto Rican's got his game face on! He's ready for Bohemoth! Bohemoth can JUST BRING IT! *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” SCHIAVONE Listen to this ovation! “Liberate” by Disturbed starts playing, bringing the crowd to its feet! PRL stands tall in the ring, still looking ready for a fight. Bohemoth marches out onto the aisle, drawing more cheers from the thousands in attendance. Bo flexes his muscles, then points a menacing finger at Tha Puerto Rican, before making his way to the ring, slapping some hands along the way. His bandage has come off. BUFFER And his opponent. The challenger! From Greensville, South Carolina. Weighing in at 284 lbs. He is a former One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion. BOHEEEEEEEEEEEMMOOOOTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SCHIAVONE I think it's a bad idea PRL wore red tights tonight! VENTURA How come—oh. Oh will you stop? PRL does the “JUST BRING IT!” hand gesture. VENTURA See? He's not scared! SCHIAVONE Yeah. Sure. Bohemoth continues his walk to the ring as “Liberate” continues playing. Bo lifts his orange tinted sunglasses and sneers at Tha Puerto Rican, before taking the sunglasses off and throwing them to the crowd. Bohemoth then jogs up the ring steps, limbers up a bit, and then enters the ring. SCHIAVONE Bohemoth is now standing a few feet away from Tha Puerto Rican! His bandage is off. He's now at 100%! VENTURA And look at Puerto! He's remaining cool. He's not afraid of Bohemoth! PRL hides behind Nick Soapdish once Bohemoth enters the ring. SCHIAVONE You were saying? VENTURA Shut up. Bohemoth walks towards Tha Puerto Rican, which causes The Corporate Champ to back off, dragging Nick Soapdish in front of him! THA PUERTO RICAN You can't hit me until the bell rings! You can't hit me until the bell rings! SCHIAVONE I think it might be a bad time to be Tha Puerto Rican now! Bo continues walking around the ring, with PRL frantically running backwards while still using Nick Soapdish as a shield. SCHIAVONE PRL is making sure that not one body part touches Bohemoth! VENTURA This is all a charade. Watch, when the match starts, PRL will unleash the fists of fury! PRL shakes a finger saying, “Not yet! Not yet!” He then shoves Nick Soapdish into Bohemoth's hands. Bo then punches Nick Soapdish, knocking the referee out cold! VENTURA What the--? Bohemoth turns back around, staring a hole into Tha Puerto Rican! P.R. starts shaking and sweating bullets. Bo's teeth are grinding back and forth as he slowly moves towards Tha Puerto Rican, who begs for mercy! SCHIAVONE The referee is gone! That means Bohemoth can do anything he wants! VENTURA Which is EXACTLY how he likes it! That sick bastard! He should be locked up! He's going to kill him! SCHIAVONE Whatever happened to the fists of fury? VENTURA Uh—they're come...I hope. Bohemoth lunges after Tha Puerto Rican...and PRL slides out through the first and second ropes! PRL shakes his head saying, “No! No! No!” PRL No way! I'm not going to do it! I'm not having this match! He's crazy! That guy's crazy! “BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!” “BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!” “BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!” “BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!” PRL SHUT UP! SCHIAVONE He's walking? Already? PRL says, “NO! NO! NO!” again and walks away from the ring with Bohemoth staring at him. PRL Crazy fuck. No way am I fighting him! There's not gonna be no match tonight! VENTURA He's decided to live to fight another day! Smart move from Tha Puerto Rican! SCHIAVONE He's robbing these fans of a main event! VENTURA So what? They'll get their money back! What's more important: PRL's safety or these fans happiness? SCHIAVONE Jess, I think the answer should be obvious. VENTURA P.R. can't fight Bohemoth now! The man is unhinged! He'll snap at any moment! SCHIAVONE You maybe right, and he may just snap on Tha Puerto Rican! PRL checks on the referee, who hasn't moved at all. He then points to Bohemoth and says, “You're crazy.” and then joins up with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph Popick in the entryway. The crowd starts booing. SCHIAVONE The referee is out cold, and Tha Puerto Rican wants to get the hell out of here! VENTURA Good call. PRL chats it up with Popick and Lindsay, and they agree that Bohemoth is crazy and PRL shouldn't fight him tonight. While the three of them chat, Bohemoth grabs Nick Soapdish's carcass and hoists him up over his head. SCHIAVONE Hey! What is Bohemoth doing? Bohemoth thrusts Nick Soapdish over the top rope and onto Tha Puerto Rican and Popick! SCHIAVONE Oh my! Holy—My God! Bohemoth just threw Nick Soapdish over the top rope like he was a sack of crap! VENTURA Is Lindsay all right!? SCHIAVONE I'm pretty sure Lindsay is fine. She got far enough from PRL and Popick! But Popick IS out! And maybe so is Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd cheers loudly. Popick is lying knocked out in the entryway. PRL is trying to get up, while Nick Soapdish lies in pain. Lindsay checks on her man as Bohemoth just stands in the ring. SCHIAVONE Bohemoth has managed to take out one PRL supporter! There's still seven more to go! VENTURA Are you suggesting that he beat up Lindsay and Princess Stacey? You are such a misogynist! Finally, Bohemoth climbs over the top rope and onto the outside. At the same time, “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican has gotten back to a vertical base. So the moment PRL is up, Bohemoth grabs him and punches him in the face, causing PRL to fall a few feet away from ringside! SCHIAVONE And not surprisingly, Bohemoth strikes first! PRL is in a daze, crawling up the entryway with Bohemoth slowly walking behind him. P.R. gets up and runs through the curtains...only to get caught by his shirt collar and pulled back out onto the entryway by Bohemoth! SCHIAVONE Bohemoth ain't letting PRL escape that easily! Bohemoth punches PRL in the face again, causing Puerto to flop down onto the floor! The Corporate Champ flops up and down like a fish out of water. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez can only watch with great concern as “The Metrosexual Monster” picks “The Corporate Champion” up and hoists him in the air in the gorilla press slam position! SCHIAVONE Look at this! It's amazing! The size and sheer force of Bohemoth! The crowd cheers loudly! PRL is SCREAMING as he's being held up in the air. Finally, Bohemoth completes the gorilla press slam, slamming PRL onto the floor! PRL AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SCHIAVONE Bohemoth is dominating the X-Division Champion, and the match hasn't even begun yet! VENTURA Someone should castrate this guy! PRL is seeing stars now. Bohemoth lifts PRL up by his shirt, and then throws him back first into one of the scaffolds holding the AngleTron! PRL stumbles out and collapses onto the floor. Puerto crawls for a little bit, and then stands up, slowly. Once he stands up, Bohemoth winds up, and knocks PRL back down with a STIFF~! right jab which causes PR to roll across the entryway like he's in a Looney Tunes cartoon! “OOH! AAAH! OW! AAAH! OWW! OH! AH! OW! OW! OW! AHHH! OOH! OOH! OW! AAH! OW!” PRL is kissing the protective mats. Bohemoth slowly walks across the entryway. When Bohemoth gets near her, Lindsay simply runs as far away from the big man as she can. SCHIAVONE PRL is taking more punishment in these first five minutes then I think he has ever taken in his entire career! VENTURA And this is a guy who has done battles with The Mad Cappa, Colombian Heat, Thunderkid, and Leon Rodez! Bohemoth is like all those guys rolled into one! SCHIAVONE There won't be anything left of Tha Puerto Rican when this match is done, if the bell even rings at all! Bohemoth has vengeance in his eyes, and as such, Tha Puerto Rican's X-Title reign could end only 28 days after AngleMania VI! Puerto Rican uses the ring apron to pull himself up. His eyes are already glazed over. The CORPORATE X-Division Champion stumbles around ringside with The Epitome Of Masculinity following him. SCHIAVONE There is no referee! Bohemoth can and IS doing anything he wants with no repercussions! Bohemoth grabs PRL by his hair and takes him over to some ring steps, where he proceeds to slam his face on the top step! The impact causes TPR to collapse to the floor again! Bo grabs some cable wires and wraps them around PR's throat, choking him! P.R. gasps for air while Lindsay cries for Bohemoth to stop hurting her fiancée! SCHIAVONE Bohemoth is choking the life out of him! VENTURA And look at poor Lindsay! Forced to watch all of this! This is her future husband getting beat up here! SCHIAVONE You know, she can just not look. VENTURA As if that's so simple! Haven't you ever been in love before? SCHIAVONE I'm married. VENTURA I'm talking about REAL love! Not love between a man and his mail order bride! PRL tries to grab the ringbell, but Bohemoth has choked him so much that he doesn't even have the energy to use it, instead simply dropping it on the floor! Bohemoth chokes PRL until he is lying face down on the ground, finally letting go of the cable wires. Bo simply looks down at disgust at his opponent and rival. PRL starts to get up, so Bo helps him by picking him up by his hair (“AAAAHHHHH!”) and throwing the severely weakened Puerto Rican into a barricade! The crowd cheers! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ LEAVE HIM ALONE! PLEASE! Bo picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He punches PR square in the face, sending Tha Puerto Rican FLYING into another barricade! Once again, PR collapses onto the floor. SCHIAVONE I have never seen anybody ANYBODY manhandle Tha Puerto Rican in his four years in the OAOAST the way Bohemoth is manhandling him tonight! This is amazing! VENTURA Maybe for you, Tony Schiavone! But to me, this is a SLAUGHTER! PRL does not deserve this! Somebody should come out here and stop this match! SCHIAVONE How can they? The bell hasn't even rung yet! VENTURA This is the OAOAST! Stranger things have happened! PRL is breathing hard. He flails his hands in the air while only barely squeaking out, “Air. I need air.” Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up, making sure to hold onto his upper lip extra tight while doing so. SCHIAVONE What's Bohemoth going to do now!? Bo throws Tha Puerto Rican into the ring. SCHIAVONE I think Bohemoth's gotten bored with manhandling Tha Puerto Rican! I take it he wants to end the match now! He wants to become the X-Division Champion in just a few seconds! VENTURA The sooner this match ends, the better it is for Tha Puerto Rican! I don't care if he loses the X-Division Title! His health should be more important than a belt! SCHIAVONE That's not how Tha Puerto Rican thinks, and you know it. PRL begs for mercy. Bohemoth responds by stomping PRL in the stomach! PIMPHEMOTH~! picks The P.R. Menace up and slams his head on a top turnbuckle pad. PR becomes dizzy and starts punching the air. Bohemoth decides to stop that by giving PRL a MUDERLINE~! SCHIAVONE Well, he did bring this all on himself! VENTURA No he didn't! PRL doesn't deserve this, and it's only a sign of the incompetence of OAOAST Corporate that they allow this match to continue! Bo bounces off the ropes, and drops a MASSIVE knee onto Tha Puerto Rican's face! He then does it again! Bohemoth goes for the cover, and it's only then does he realizes that there's no referee! VENTURA Hey, you have nobody but yourself to blame for that, Bohemoth! SCHIAVONE There is no referee! Bohemoth has just spent five minutes brutalizing Tha Puerto Rican! VENTURA Someone get a ref out here now and stop this! Bo is pissed that there's no referee, but there's no use crying over spilled milk, so he picks The Corporate One up and takes him over to a turnbuckle corner where he slams his head on the top turnbuckle pad. Bohemoth then nails PRL with lefts and rights to the face and body. These are the following sounds PRL makes: “OOF!” “OW!” “AH!” “YEOUCH~!” “SON OF A--!” “GAH~!” Bohemoth grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his right arm and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron, and then falls off the ring apron and onto the floor. SCHIAVONE That match didn't last much in the ring did it? VENTURA I can't believe you're joking, Tony! A man is getting PUMMELED by a monster! An innocent, sweet, honest man! SCHIAVONE Just who are you talking about there, Jess? VENTURA Tony, I am NOT in the mood! So just lay off or I'll come out of retirement just for you! Referee Earl Hebner runs down the entryway. Tha Puerto Rican sees him and immediately clasps onto him. THA PUERTO RICAN Save me Hebner! This guy's crazy! HE'S CRAZY! SCHIAVONE Well a referee has finally come down here. VENTURA Oh thank God! PRL You gotta call for the bell! Disqualify him! Disqualify Bohemoth! EARL HEBNER I can't! The match hasn't even started yet! PRL You have to! He's killing me! HE'S KILLING ME! DISQUALIFY HIM! DISQUALIFY HIM! EARL HEBNER No! Get back into the ring! The match hasn't officially begun! Get back in the ring and lets go! VENTURA What is he telling him? To continue!? How dare he! Hasn't he seen what's happened thus far? SCHIAVONE Earl Hebner wants this match to begin, that's all. VENTURA Who cares about the bell ringing? That's all technical mumble, jumble anyway! The match should be called off NOW! SCHIAVONE Hey, the referee has the final say. VENTURA Damn crooked refs! PR crawls up the entryway. Meanwhile, Earl Hebner enters the ring. Just as he does this, Bohemoth climbs over the top rope—but is stopped by Earl Hebner! Bohemoth is not exactly in the mood to be held back, so he starts threatening the Senior Referee of the OAOAST. Bo stalks Earl Hebner, and while he does this, PRL suddenly regains his courage and stands up, charging across the entryway and sliding into the ring, clipping Bohemoth's left leg! VENTURA Yes! Yes! I told you! I told you! It was all a charade! PRL really isn't afraid after all! SCHIAVONE Come on Jess! Bohemoth's back was turned! That doesn't prove anything! VENTURA It proves everything, Tony Schiavone! Bohemoth's in trouble now! Bohemoth stumbles around the ring, resting on the ropes. There, PRL finally gets some offense, grabbing Bohemoth and pummeling him with left jabs! Finally, FINALLY, Earl Hebner calls for the bell. *DING DING DING*OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN (Champion with Stephen Joseph Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez) vs. BOHEMOTH (Challenger) The crowd boos loudly as PRL switches to Rock-style punches to Bohemoth's temple. PRL is FURIOUS as he hammers the 6'7” monster. SCHIAVONE And now we can say that PRL is in control of Bohemoth! VENTURA What did I tell ya? He's unleashing the fists of fury! HA HA HA! P.R. grabs Bohemoth and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. Bo hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD. TPR then follows that up by charging forward and hitting Bohemoth with a Stinger Splash! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez can finally cheer as PRL climbs the second rope and starts punching Bohemoth's forehead! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! PRL stops when he realizes that the fans are counting along. He punches Bohemoth again, this time faster, so that the fans can't count along. “1234567....” Bohemoth shoves PRL off of him onto the mat! But PR rolls through, and goes back onto the second rope to punch Bohemoth again! Bohemoth shoves PRL off of him again! But PRL rolls through AGAIN, and goes back to the second rope—NO! Bohemoth gives P.R. a big boot to the face, staggering the Corporate Champ! Bo gets out of the turnbuckle and goes for the attack, but PRL kicks him in his left leg, stopping the would-be assault. Tha Puerto Rican starts hitting Bohemoth with Rock-style punches to the temple, causing the crowd to fire up that old chestnut: “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” VENTURA He does not SUCK! Look at him! He's manhandling Bohemoth! Bo is on his knees! How many men can say that they've done that! SCHIAVONE Not many. VENTURA Exactly! Bohemoth is on his right knee, so PRL bounces off the ropes, and goes for a Shining Wizard! HOWEVER, Bohemoth ducks, gets up, and starts punching PR in the face again and again! “The Metrosexual Monster” takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, clotheslining PRL over the top rope and onto the floor! PRL stumbles into another barricade! SCHIAVONE And once again, we are outside, as Bohemoth hasn't given Tha Puerto Rican much room to breathe in this contest! VENTURA He is intent on annihilating Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd is going nuts. Bohemoth stops to catch his breath in the ring, as PRL lies on the protective mats. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez covers her mouth while Popick is now starting to get up. SCHIAVONE I'm just glad our announce table is so far away from the ring, Jess! VENTURA Yeah. But if I was nearby, I'd stopped the match myself! SCHIAVONE What's stopping you from doing so now? VENTURA The distance is too far! PR slowly, but surely gets up to his feet. Although he now looks at the ceiling, groggy. PRL Come into the light? You want me to come into the light? But Bohemoth doesn't give PRL much time to decide if he should break on through to the other side, because PIMPHEMOTH~! grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his now increasingly growing hair and lifts him up to the ring apron so that he can punch him back down! VENTURA This is a massacre! SCHIAVONE This is the OAOAST! Popick is now slowly getting up. Meanwhile, Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up by his hair again, and punches him in the face, knocking him down! Bo picks up Puerto again by his hair...but this time, Puerto escapes from his grasp and headbutts him in the stomach! SCHIAVONE Oh my God, he got some offense! P.R. headbutts Bohemoth in his stomach again! Bo is bent over, so PRL pulls himself back, and then does a sunset flip on Bohemoth! SCHIAVONE Is he gonna fall? Is he gonna fall? Bohemoth struggles to maintain his balance. The crowd roots him on. Finally, Bo grabs Tha Puerto Rican's neck with his bare hands and lifts him up, hoisting him up into the air for a double chokehold! SCHIAVONE And Bohemoth has got him up! How much more can Tha Puerto Rican handle? Bohemoth walks around the ring still choking Tha Puerto Rican. After a few more seconds, Bo simply drops PR onto the mat! TPR Oh God in Heaven! TPR gasps for breath. He pushes himself over to a turnbuckle corner, while begging off Bohemoth. But Bo won't have none of that, as he slowly walks over to where PR is trembling and starts stomping him in his stomach. Stephen Popick has gotten up and is watching the match with Lindsay. SCHIAVONE This has certainly been a match PRL will never forget! Bohemoth has managed to dominate Tha Puerto Rican before the bell even sounded! We may be in for a new X-Division Champion after tonight! VENTURA And if Bohemoth wins, who in the X-Division can stop him? SCHIAVONE That's the $64,000 question, Jess. VENTURA Can it be the $2 million question? $64,000 is too little for my tastes. Bohemoth lifts Tha Puerto Rican up to his feet by his shirt. He then punches him in the face several times, taking him off his feet. Bo then grabs PRL by his left hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. PR hits the opposite turnbuckle sternum-first HARD! Bohemoth grabs Tha Puerto Rican before he can fall to the mat, and applies a Cobra Clutch on him! Bohemoth then gives PRL a backbreaker! SCHIAVONE Style Injection! Bohemoth gets down to his hands and knees and makes the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT! SCHIAVONE My goodness! He kicked out! VENTURA PRL is resilient, Tony! He may have taken quite a beating tonight, but he will keep fighting till his heart stops! SCHIAVONE And if Bohemoth keeps this up, his heart MAY just stop tonight! VENTURA Tony, way to bring the negativity! Bohemoth can't believe it! But Earl Hebner throws up two fingers, signifying that it was only a two count. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Popick breathe a sigh of relief. Bohemoth stands up, and watches PR crawl around the ring, before grabbing him and lifting him up again. Bo then applies a facelock on Tha Puerto Rican, and then puts PR's left arm over his head. Bo grabs the waistband of PR's tights and lifts him up...giving The Corporate Champ the Bo And Arrow! SCHIAVONE And now the Bo And Arrow! Bohemoth with his version of the Falcon Arrow on Tha Puerto Rican! Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. He grabs P.R.'s left arm and twists it into an arm wringer. He then attacks the arm with several shoulderblocks. PR lets out a few girlish screams with each hit. Popick winces with each shoulderblock. Bo then lets go of the left arm, and then lifts PRL up onto his left shoulder. VENTURA Oh this won't be good. Not good at all! Bohemoth parades around the ring with PRL on his left shoulder. He then charges forward with the running powerslam-- NO! PRL slips off of Bohemoth's shoulder, and Bohemoth hits the turnbuckle stomach first! VENTURA Excellent counter by Tha Puerto Rican! Bohemoth stumbles back out. PRL grabs his face from behind and gives him a Backcracker! SCHIAVONE Backcracker from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL gets right back up and starts stomping on Bohemoth with his shaky leg kicks. The kicks cause Bohemoth to roll out onto the outside, landing on his feet. VENTURA Look at that! He's running away! Bohemoth walks slowly around the ring, catching his breath. Suddenly, PRL bounces off the ropes, and hits Bohemoth with a baseball slide, knocking him down! VENTURA Safe! SCHIAVONE PRL mounting a comeback! He may just pull through tonight! Lindsay cheers her man on, applauding him. Popick nods his head in approval. PRL taunts the fans at ringside, spitting in their general direction. PRL then heads near the ropes, waits for Bohemoth to get near him, and then launches himself over the top rope with a pescado! CAUGHT BY BOHEMOTH! PRL OH SHIT! Bohemoth has an evil smile on his face as he holds PRL up in the air. Bo rushes forward and hits PRL back-first into a ring post! PRL OH GOD! OH GOD! Tha Puerto Rican just slumps forward, his stamina meter empty. Bohemoth has to hold him up, so that he can hoist him up again and slam his back against the ring post for a second time! And a third time! Bohemoth drops PRL to the floor! SCHIAVONE PRL's eyes are rolling to the back of his head! When PRL hears a fan taunting him, he gets right up and gets in his face. He then rests his head on the ring apron. But he doesn't rest for long, as Bohemoth finds him and throws him back into the ring. SCHIAVONE Back into the ring we go. Bohemoth has got PRL right where he wants him. All he has to do is hit the Erotic Awakening Of B and it's over! VENTURA He's withholding that because he wants to continue the punishment, that sadist! He wants PRL to feel pain and misery tonight on Syndicated! Bohemoth should get his head examined! He's in no condition to perform here in the OAOAST! PRL crawls around the ring once again. He finds the ropes and tries to crawl through the second and third ropes, but is stopped when Bohemoth grabs his tights. Still, PR keeps on crawling, even with Bohemoth holding onto his tights tight. Finally, PR stops crawling when Bohemoth hits him in the left leg! Bohemoth picks PRL up and places him sternum first against the ring ropes. Bo starts pounding on PRL's back, and Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph Popick are helpless. SCHIAVONE Bohemoth just taking his time. He's in no hurry. He can be here all night! VENTURA But we can't! We gotta be gone by 11 pm before the local news starts! SCHIAVONE Well in that case, stay tune to OAOAST.com for the ending of this match if this match ends after 11 pm Eastern Standard Time! Bohemoth grabs PRL's left wrist and gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. PRL bounces off the ropes, and Bohemoth responds with a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Oh no! Bo goes for the cover. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP! SCHIAVONE Another nearfall! Tha Puerto Rican, despite all the pain he's gone through in this match, still STILL won't quit! VENTURA You're underestimating him, Tony! Just like all the people in this arena are underestimating him! Watch! PRL is something special. He's gonna pull out something special. Just you wait! PRL motions that that's enough, and crawls towards the ropes. Once he gets underneath the second rope, Bohemoth grabs him by the tights again. Still, PRL keeps crawling, but he doesn't actually get anywhere. Instead, PR's tights start to fall off, resulting in a completely unnecessary shot of Tha Puerto Rican's bare ass. The girls squeal, everyone else vomits. SCHIAVONE Okay, I think this is more of Tha Puerto Rican then we EVER needed to see! VENTURA I never thought I'd say this, but you're right, Tony Schiavone! PRL keeps crawling, trying desperately to grab anything that's around him. But Bohemoth holds onto PRL's tights tight and won't let go. Bohemoth pulls Tha Puerto Rican back into the ring by his tights, and then lifts him up by his face. Bo punches PRL in his back, knocking him down again! PR crawls around the ring, and uses the ropes to pull himself up. Bohemoth then punches PRL in his face. Bo whips PRL into the ropes. Bo goes for a clothesline, PRL ducks, bounces off the—NO, holds onto the ropes, and slides underneath the bottom rope! SCHIAVONE PRL running for cover there! VENTURA He's saving energy is all. No need to panic! Bohemoth stares at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL taunts Bohemoth from the outside, walking backwards around ringside. Bohemoth soon follows PRL. SCHIAVONE PRL, trying to escape from Bohemoth, but it seems like no matter where he goes, Bohemoth is right behind! Tha Puerto Rican tells Michael Buffer to get out of his seat, and then grabs his steel chair! The crowd boos! VENTURA Yes! There it is! The great equalizer! This is going to be the fourth week in a row that Bohemoth's gonna taste STEEL! PRL throws the chair into the ring, and follows suit. SCHIAVONE Oh boy. I see Bohemoth. I see a chair. I see Tha Puerto Rican. Oh no. This is not going to be pretty. Not pretty at all! If the past three weeks are any indication, this won't be good! Bohemoth power walks around ringside and slides underneath the bottom rope. PRL grabs the steel chair and lifts it up over his head. SCHIAVONE He's got the chair! He's gonna try for it again! PRL charges forward, the steel chair over his head-- --AND BOHEMOTH HITS HIM WITH A BIG BOOT KNOCKING HIM AND THE CHAIR DOWN! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” VENTURA Lucky shot. SCHIAVONE Bohemoth finally managed to save himself that time! VENTURA He better be careful. That chair is still in the ring! The Corporate Champ flops around like a fish out of water. The P.R. Menace crawls over to the bottom ring rope and rests there. As he does this, Bohemoth grabs the steel chair. The crowd cheers louder. Lindsay and Popick start panicking. VENTURA Get that chair away from him! Get it now! SCHIAVONE Oh no! Bohemoth might be looking for some revenge now! VENTURA Why does he need a chair? He's done enough damage with his hands! PRL crawls over to a turnbuckle and pleads for his life! But “The Metrosexual Monster” just stares at PRL with no expression on his face, holding the chair with his right hand. Bo slowly walks over to Tha Puerto Rican. SCHIAVONE This won't end good! This won't end well! Bohemoth lifts the chair over his head... ...and Earl Hebner grabs it! VENTURA Oh thank God. Thank you Earl Hebner! But Bohemoth won't let go. Bohemoth and referee Earl Hebner get into an argument over the use of the steel chair. Both men stubbornly refuse to lose their grip on the chair. As this tete-a-tete takes place, Tha Puerto Rican gets up, charges forward, and hits Bohemoth with a dropkick to the back! This causes Bo to fall forward, which causes the chair to hit Earl Hebner, which causes Earl Hebner to collapse to the mat! “OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” SCHIAVONE ANOTHER referee is down! VENTURA The referee ended up getting the chairshot! How about that? Bohemoth can't believe it. He checks on the fallen ref, and then turns around, and gets hit with a flying forearm from Tha Puerto Rican! P.R. grabs Bo and starts hammering away at his face with right fists of FURY~! SCHIAVONE Tha Puerto Rican has taken advantage of the situation! He wants to retain his X-Division Title tonight against overwhelming odds! VENTURA He's showing the world that he can hang with Bohemoth! PRL lifts Bohemoth up, and then heads to a turnbuckle. He charges forward. Shining Wizard! SCHIAVONE Whoa! A Shining Wizard from Tha Puerto Rican! We haven't seen that move from him in a while! VENTURA He's pulling out all the stops tonight, Tony Schiavone. He wants to retain his Title, AND beat Bohemoth! A “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up again. Tha Puerto Rican sneers at the crowd. He exits the ring and climbs the top rope. VENTURA His 'Airness' is gonna fly! SCHIAVONE That nickname's not even from wrestling! What's next? Is PRL gonna call himself P.Ro now? PRL is hunched over on the top rope. Puerto Rican removes his left elbow pad, and then throws it at the crowd. He taunts the fans and then Bohemoth, and then gives the fans the international “FUCK YOU” hand gesture, before standing tall on the top turnbuckle and then leaping off, doing the “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air, and then hitting Bohemoth in the heart with the Corporate Elbow Drop! SCHIAVONE Corporate Elbow Drop from The Corporate One! VENTURA It's the best damn elbow drop in the business today! Period. PRL stands right back up, and thinks about what to do next. And apparently he has a good idea as he grabs Bohemoth, and drags him a little bit towards the center of the ring. Of course, since Bohemoth is significantly bigger than PRL, this proves to be a little difficult. PRL Goddamn you're heavy. Puerto does manage to finally get Bo perfectly positioned in the middle of the ring. With Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph Popick looking on, PRL glances at the crowd, glances at Bohemoth...and then kicks his right arm onto his chest. “YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH”/”BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SCHIAVONE Oh no. VENTURA Yes, Tony! I can't wait for this! Popick and Lindsay nod as PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and then throws it down onto Bohemoth's head. PR then does some weird hand signals, then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Bohemoth, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. VENTURA It's now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling. The IntenseZone Elbow! PRL stops in his tracks, does some stereotypical “muscle man Hulk” poses to mock Bohemoth, and then flips him off, before hitting Bohemoth with the IntenseZone Elbow to a mixed reaction! SCHIAVONE He hits it! The IntenseZone Elbow! VENTURA Now Bohemoth knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of that CLASSIC move! SCHIAVONE Let's not go that far, Jess. VENTURA I can and I will! SCHIAVONE A Corporate Elbow Drop followed immediately by an IntenseZone Elbow! Will this be enough to put Bohemoth away? We are about to find out as PRL makes the cover, yelling at Earl Hebner to get up and make the count. PRL COME ON YOU OLD FART! I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY! Apparently, that hurt Earl Hebner's feelings, as he still slowly crawls back up. VENTURA Puerto's gonna do it! Puerto's Gonna Kill Bo! Not the only way around! Suddenly, the crowd starts booing as Cuban Wall walks across the entryway! SCHIAVONE What's he doing here!? Earl Hebner makes the count. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 BOHEMOTH THROWS THA PUERTO RICAN OFF OF HIM ONTO EARL HEBNER'S BACK! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” SCHIAVONE And no! What a move! Bohemoth is still in this match! PRL can't believe it. Earl Hebner returns to being knocked out, holding his back this time. SCHIAVONE This match is STILL going strong! It has been non-stop chaos since before the bell even rang! And now Cuban Wall is out here, so ANOTHER Lightning Crew member is only a few feet away from Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall reaches into his black vest right pocket and pulls out something. He then walks over to Popick and hands the mysterious item over to him. Popick nods and grins evilly. Popick walks over close to the ring. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Yo, P! Popick throws the item into the ring, with PRL grabbing it. VENTURA Nice catch. SCHIAVONE What the—those--those---THOSE ARE BRASS KNUCKS! Brass knuckles to be precise. And yes, PRL has them in his possession. This causes the crowd to boo loudly. PRL quickly slips them onto his left hand. VENTURA Heh, PRL's trying to be like his buddy, Félix “Tito” Trinidad SCHIAVONE And we all know about the part he played in PR winning the X-Division Title at AngleMania! TPR heads to a turnbuckle and waits for Bohemoth to get up. The camera does a close-up of the brass knuckles on PR's left hand. VENTURA He's gonna make Bohemoth get gold all right! When Bohemoth gets to a vertical base, PRL rushes forward. Bohemoth turns around, and gets WALLOPED with the brass knuckle covered left hand! Earl Hebner is still on the mat! SCHIAVONE What a shot! PRL has just hit Bohemoth with brass knuckles! VENTURA PRL, once again, proving the naysayers WRONG! He CAN go toe-to-toe with Bohemoth after all! SCHIAVONE With a little help from some weapons that is! VENTURA Eh, that's all schematics, Tony! The important thing is that PRL has got Bohemoth right where he wants him! VENTURA True. But the question is, can he capitalize? PRL takes the brass knuckles off and puts them inside his tights. He goes for the cover, but then realizes that the referee is still knocked out. So, he gets up and tries to wake the referee up. Finally, Puerto gets frustrated and kicks Earl Hebner in the back of his head. But as he does this, Thomas Rodriguez rushes down the entryway and slides into the ring! Mr. Boricua is right behind him. Thomas tells PRL to make the cover. PRL does so, and Thomas makes the count. ONE! TWO! THREE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCHIAVONE That wasn't it! It was close, but that wasn't it! The crowd is going nuts! VENTURA How could that be!? Why won't Bohemoth stay down!? PRL can't believe it either. Thomas is disappointed. But his disappointment turns into fear when PRL tells him, “Why didn't you count faster!?” THOMAS RODRIGUEZ I didn-- PRL WHY DIDN'T YOU COUNT FASTER!?!? THOMAS I'm sorry, boss. I—prom--promise I won't do that again! PRL You should have counted faster! That is why I'm paying you, you know! THOMAS I know—but.... PRL stands up, causing Thomas Rodriguez to stand up too. Thomas is terrified of PRL, much in the same way PRL's terrified of Bohemoth. PRL corners Thomas, with the scrawny referee begging for mercy. SCHIAVONE PRL seems a little annoyed with Thomas now! VENTURA He screwed up! SCHIAVONE He did a fair count. VENTURA That's what I'm saying. He screwed up! PRL berates Thomas some more, with The Official Referee of The Lightning Crew taking all of it. Thomas is shaking and breaking into a sweat. Then-- *BAM!* PRL punches Thomas Rodriguez, knocking him out! SCHIAVONE Whoa! PRL just knocked out Thomas Rodriguez! That's his very own referee! VENTURA Tha Puerto Rican is NOT in the mood to be messed with! He wants to beat Bohemoth at any cost and Thomas failed him. He was being punished! SCHIAVONE PRL just took out a referee, and not just any referee, but his own Lightning Crew member! VENTURA Again, Thomas failed him and paid the price! Next time he'll remember! Cuban Wall drags the knocked out Thomas Rodriguez out of the ring onto the floor. Meanwhile, back in the ring, PRL stomps on Bohemoth's back with his shaky leg kicks. He then starts kicking him all over his body. SCHIAVONE Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Stephen Joseph Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are at ringside. We have seen three referees get knocked out, INCLUDING The Lightning Crew's very own Thomas Rodriguez! VENTURA Things are getting hectic, Tony Schiavone! Whoever wins this match deserves SOME credit! SCHIAVONE They sure do, Jess. Both men have put forth the effort. Both men want to become X-Division Champion, but only one of them shall wear the gold after tonight's through! PRL stomps on Bohemoth, kicking him over towards where Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua are. PRL kicks Bohemoth out of the ring. Cuban Wall picks Bohemoth up and starts punching him in the face! SCHIAVONE Cuban Wall, the OAOAST 24/7 Champion going to work on the man he took the 24/7 Title away from! VENTURA And he's showing us how he did it! SCHIAVONE Yes, by brawling and cheating. VENTURA No, I meant by talent and determination! SCHIAVONE No you didn't. Cuban Wall pounds on Bohemoth with Mr. Boricua getting a few shots as well. Wall and Boricua grab Bohemoth and whip him into the ring steps, with Bohemoth hitting the steps right-knee first! SCHIAVONE Whoa! Bohemoth just got attacked by Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua! VENTURA He could have a broken knee! That shot could be heard all over the arena! Cuban Wall chuckles while Mr. Boricua yells, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. PRL applauds his two Lightning Crew members. Bohemoth lies on the protective mats, breathing hard. PRL We got him. We got him. Cuban Wall grabs the steel chair that was in the ring and throws it to the outside. PRL tries to wake Earl Hebner up in the ring. Earl Hebner starts to get up. VENTURA Look Tony! The ref is back up! SCHIAVONE Indeed, Jess! Earl Hebner can now return to officiating this match-up, that has gone completely out of control! PR helps Earl Hebner get to his feet. The Senior Referee of the OAOAST is dazed and confused. PRL asks him if he's okay. Earl Hebner nods his head. PRL asks him if he's sure. Earl Hebner says he's okay. PRL then says, “Good. Good.” Then slams Earl Hebner's head on the top turnbuckle pad! SCHIAVONE Wait what!? What was that for!? VENTURA I have no idea, Tony! But I like it! SCHIAVONE PRL just intentionally took out the referee! But why? VENTURA I think he might just be looking for the disqualification, Tony! SCHIAVONE Oh yeah. That's REAL brave of our X-Division Champion! REAL brave! VENTURA Stop hounding him on that! PRL is a dignified Champion! SCHIAVONE Not after what he just pulled! VENTURA Well...there's a time and a place for everything and it's called college. PR sneers at Earl Hebner's carcass and spits on him, just to be a dick. A LOUD “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up again as Tha Puerto Rican walks around the ring with a swagger in his step. PRL looks back at Earl Hebner and chuckles. He motions for Bohemoth to get back in the ring. Cuban Wall helps with that by throwing the monster back into the squared circle. The moment Bohemoth's body is in the ring, Tha Puerto Rican pounces like a cat, choking Bo with his bare hands! The booing actually gets LOUDER. SCHIAVONE PRL can do whatever he wants! That seems to be the story of this match! Both men knocking out the referee so that they can do anything they want! VENTURA And they're definitely doing everything they want! Cuban Wall taunts Bohemoth while PRL continues choking him. CUBAN WALL Not such a big guy now, aren't ya? PRL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! You're gonna lose! You're gonna lose! You're gonna lose! You're gonna lose! SCHIAVONE The Lightning Crew laying in the bad mouth on Bohemoth! VENTURA They're laying the verbal smackdown now! TPR climbs the second ring rope and springboards off of it to give Bohemoth a knee to the face! He then does it a second time! PR stays on top of Bohemoth, grinding his left knee into Bo's face. PRL gets up and taunts the crowd. He then wipes the sweat off his forehead and flicks it at the fans. PRL stops to catch his breath. “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” SCHIAVONE This crowd desperately trying to bring Bohemoth back to life! VENTURA But it's not gonna work. I think Bo maybe done for! PRL picks the weakened Bohemoth up, taunting the fans while doing so. PRL bounces off the ropes and goes for a punch—BLOCKED! Bohemoth punches PRL, giving him an right uppercut, which causes saliva to come spewing out of Tha Puerto Rican's mouth! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PRL goes for another punch—BLOCKED! Bohemoth gives PRL a right jab! And another right jab! And another! And another! And another! P.R. kicks Bo in his left knee, stopping the punching. Puerto Rican then starts hitting Bo in the head with Rock-style punches. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! PR then switches to standard punches, which take Bohemoth to the ropes. The man formerly known as Puerto Rican Lightning takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, clotheslining Bohemoth over the top rope and onto the floor! Cuban Wall then runs over and starts stomping on Bohemoth with Mr. Boricua following suit. Wall picks Bohemoth up and holds him up, so that Mr. Boricua can hit Bo in the face with left hooks! SCHIAVONE The Lightning Crew once again using their gang tactics to weaken “The Metrosexual Monster”! VENTURA And it's working! Look! Bohemoth is severely weakened! SCHIAVONE PRL has done much better than anyone thought he would tonight! But he still needs help in bringing down Bohemoth! Bohemoth breaks loose of Wall's grasp and punches Mr. Boricua! He keeps punching Boricua until Cuban Wall grabs him. Bohemoth responds by grabbing Cuban Wall's throat! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Corporate Axe from Tha Puerto Rican! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SCHIAVONE PRL from behind with his double axehandle, the Corporate Axe! VENTURA PRL saving his friend just in time! What a great guy he is! Bo falls to his right knee. PRL gets up and taunts Bo while doing so. The Corporate Champ grabs some cable wires and wraps them around Bohemoth's neck! He pulls back on the wires while Bohemoth gasps for air. PRL Scream for me, bitch! VENTURA Ah-ha! A little karmic retribution from Tha Puerto Rican! A little turnabout's fair play! SCHIAVONE PRL choking Bohemoth with those cable wires, just like Bohemoth did to him earlier! VENTURA Bohemoth won't notice, because it's not like any oxygen goes to his brain anyways! SCHIAVONE Oh will you stop? While PRL chokes Bohemoth, The Bone Thug makes his way out and kicks Bohemoth in his stomach! SCHIAVONE And now The Bone Thug is out here! VENTURA Cousins helping each other beat an enemy! Isn't that wonderful? Bone Thug keeps kicking Bohemoth in his stomach until PR lets go of the cable wires and Bohemoth simply collapses to the floor. Bo's eyes are glazed over now and he is coughing, gasping for air. SCHIAVONE What can be left of Bohemoth now? VENTURA Nothing. That's what! Bone Thug taunts Bohemoth (in Spanish of course) and then shouts, “ARRIBA LA RAZA~!” PR enters the ring and raises his hands in victory to boos. A “BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!” chant starts up, but P.R. laughs it off. P.R. Kill me? No! I'm gonna kill him! PRL orders for Bohemoth to be brought back into the ring. Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug pick Bohemoth up and roll him back underneath the bottom rope. PR picks the big man up and gives him an European Uppercut. Puerto then grabs Bo's left hand and whips him into the ropes—NO--Bohemoth reverses—and grabs PRL. THE EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRL elbows out of it. He kicks Bohemoth in his stomach, grabs him in a facelock and grabs his tights. CORPORATE NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111 NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bohemoth slips out of P.R.'s grasp and punches him in the face, causing more spit to come out! As this happens, Earl Hebner starts to get up. Bohemoth keeps punching PRL in the face, holding him by his shirt so that he doesn't fall. Bohemoth gives PRL an Irish whip into the ropes. FRONT SPINNNNEEEEEEEEEEBUSSSSSSSSTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH~! SCHIAVONE Sidewalk Slam! The crowd cheers loudly! Bohemoth gets right back up and reaches down into PRL's tights. VENTURA What's he doing? That pervert! Bohemoth pulls out the brass knuckles! SCHIAVONE That's what, Jesse! Bohemoth puts the brass knuckles on his right hand. The crowd cheers louder. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph Popick are panicking on the outside. SCHIAVONE The leader of The Lightning Crew is in a bad way here! VENTURA He's gotta be careful! Bohemoth has a weapon! Bo picks Tha Puerto Rican up with his left hand. PRL's still groggy. And Bohemoth doesn't make things better by knocking PRL in the face with the brass knuckle covered right hand! PRL is down! VENTURA He can't do that! He won't become X-Division Champion! SCHIAVONE I think Bohemoth only cares about injuring Tha Puerto Rican at this point! Bohemoth puts the brass knuckles inside his tights. Cuban Wall gets on the ring apron, and Bohemoth knocks him down with one punch! Bo then goes over and covers Tha Puerto Rican. SCHIAVONE The cover is made! We could have a new OAOAST X-Champion! But Earl Hebner has yet to move into position. The crowd is begging for Earl Hebner to make the count, but he moves like a snail across the ring. VENTURA These referees move like molasses! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph Popick can only watch as Earl Hebner FINALLY crawls over and makes the count. The crowd counts along. CROWD ONE! TWO! THREE! WRONG! VENTURA He's still got something in him! SCHIAVONE Indeed! PRL is not out yet! And I don't believe it! VENTURA Neither can these fans. They're pissed! Bohemoth is shocked. PRL barely got his left shoulder up. He goes back to lying on the mat breathing hard. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick root PRL on. Bohemoth slowly gets up. And when he does, he picks Earl Hebner up and yells at him. Then he gives him The Erotic Awakening Of B!!!! VENTURA That poor referee! SCHIAVONE Earl Hebner has been taken out! Again! VENTURA He's flat as a pancake and Bohemoth has no one to blame but himself! P.R. gets up and attacks Bohemoth! He hammers Bo with lefts, and then whips him into the ropes...Bohemoth reverses...goes for a clothesline, PRL ducks, bounces off the ropes, Bohemoth hits him with a Yakuza Kick~! Referee Nick Patrick runs into the ring...and calls for the bell!?!?!? *DING DING DING* (16:56) VENTURA That's it! It's over!? SCHIAVONE Apparently it is! VENTURA Then who wins, PR or Bohemoth? SCHIAVONE I—I--I don't know! But the match is over! The crowd reacts to the bell ringing as well as you'd expect. Bohemoth doesn't even notice the bell ringing because he's about to do The Erotic Awakening Of B on Tha Puerto Rican! VENTURA That means Bohemoth isn't the X-Division Champion! SCHIAVONE You're right. PR keeps the Title for another day! VENTURA Well I'm not complaining! Bohemoth turns his attention to Cuban Wall, grabbing him and throwing him over the top rope into the ring! Nick Patrick calls for the bell again! Bohemoth slowly grabs Cuban Wall and throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! He turns around-- *KA-POW~!* --AND GETS HIT WITH THE SWEET CHIN MUSIC BY THA PUERTO RICAN! VENTURA Whoa! What a Sweet Chin Music! SCHIAVONE PRL hitting the Sweet Chin Music! But the match is over! PRL remains X-Division Champion! Bohemoth falls into the ropes, getting tied up in them. The crowd boos. PRL smiles evilly. SCHIAVONE Oh this might not end well for Bohemoth! VENTURA Hey, the match is over! Anything goes now! SCHIAVONE You say that as though it's been any different throughout this match! PRL tells Bone Thug to bring him something. Bone Thug tells the timekeeper to get off his chair so that he can grab it and slide underneath the ring with it. Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez enter the ring. SCHIAVONE Bohemoth is incapacitated! The Lightning Crew are in the ring! Lindsay checks on Puerto. Nick Patrick calls for the bell again. Lindsay helps TPR to his feet. The crowd starts booing. Nick Patrick tries to restore order, but Cuban Wall grabs him and knocks him out! Popick tells PRL to use the steel chair on Bohemoth. Lindsay hands the chair to PR, who nods his head. SCHIAVONE Oh no! Oh come on! Not this again! He's had enough! VENTURA Hey, the match is over! There's nothing the referee can do about it! SCHIAVONE That's because he's knocked out! PRL smiles evilly. He lets out a maniacal laugh. PRL charges forward with the chair in his hands! VENTURA Here it comes! Bohemoth kicks the chair in front of PRL's face! Bo breaks free from the ropes and grabs Cuban Wall! THE EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 SCHIAVONE Oh my God! Bohemoth just gave The Erotic Awakening Of B to the 6'7” 285 pound Cuban Wall! VENTURA He's snapped, Schiavone! Bohemoth's gone loose! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez wisely leaves the ring. PRL goes for a punch, and gets punched instead. Bohemoth then grabs PR, going for The Erotic Awakening Of B, but Mr. Boricua hits him from behind! Boricua keeps on pounding Bohemoth from behind, and soon PRL joins him! SCHIAVONE And now a double team effort from The Lightning Crew members! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Mr. Boricua hammer away at Bohemoth, taking him to a turnbuckle corner. Soon OAOAST Road Agents come out. “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Terry Funk try to stop the beatdown...and receive a Sweet Chin Music and a Corporate Nightmare for their troubles! SCHIAVONE PRL just took out two hall of famers! VENTURA He doesn't give a damn who he takes out! He just wants to take out Bohemoth for good! Terry Taylor comes out, and he gets knocked out before he enters the ring! While PRL does this, Bohemoth has fought back, and he bodyslams the 6'9” 300 pound Mr. Boricua onto the mat! VENTURA He slammed him! No way! SCHIAVONE He did, Jess! Mr. Boricua has been bodyslammed by Bohemoth as this situation gets crazier and crazier! VENTURA We've got wrestling legends knocked out! We've got Terry Taylor knocked out! We've got referees unconscious! We've got Lightning Crew members on the mat! And PRL and Bohemoth are STILL fighting! I don't think I've ever seen anything like this in my entire career in wrestling! Bohemoth takes out Stephen Joseph Popick with one punch, and then gives The Bone Thug a big boot to the face! PRL nails Bohemoth from behind and gives him some more Rock-style punches to the temple! But Bohemoth fights back with punches of his own! SCHIAVONE Nothing's going to stop Bohemoth! Not OAOAST Road Agents, not referees, nothing! VENTURA Someone stop this! Suddenly, “Showtime” Shayne Brave comes into the ring! Then Dance Dance Dragon! PRL knocks down Brave, and then punches Dragon a little bit! Then, both members of The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, and Theodore Moneymaker slide into the ring! Together, the three men hold back Bohemoth! SCHIAVONE Look at this! The lockerroom is emptying out! VENTURA We're going to use all the manpower we can to keep these two apart! Rico De Janeiro tries to calm Bohemoth down, but he gets The Erotic Awakening Of B for his troubles! Jamie O'Hara, “Narcissistic” Ned Blanchard, and Scotty Static rush into the ring and charge forward, pushing Bohemoth back into the ropes! SCHIAVONE The OAOAST roster is out here! Pretty much everybody is trying to control “The Metrosexual Monster”! Friend or foe, they're working together to tame the beast! Johnny “Jam” Jackson joins his partner in helping control Bohemoth. They're joined by “Sweet” Luscious Soul, Simon Singleton, Theodore Moneymaker, Dance Dance Dragon, and Zack Malibu! SCHIAVONE Zack is here! VENTURA It's his company! He doesn't want it to get torn apart! Zack plays the role of peacemaker, trying to talk some sense into Bohemoth. More people keep coming into the ring! The Mad Cappa! Spanish Fly! Colombian Heat! John “Rock Hard” Brickston! Dr. Steven Pigley! Dr. Max Anderson! Even Christian Wright comes out to talk some sense into his former proteage. Bohemoth is FURIOUS~! SCHIAVONE Everyone's in the ring! This is unbelievable! By now, PRL has escaped from the ring and is walking up the aisle with The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick. CPA comes into the ring! So does “Tremendous” Tyler Bryant! And Otaku II! VENTURA I see The Sooner Bruisers! The NRG! The Heavenly Rockers! CPA, John “Rock Hard” Brickston, Zack Malibu, and Dr. Steven Pigley hold Bohemoth back with their own hands. Bohemoth appears to be calming down thanks to Zack speaking to him. SCHIAVONE It looks like we've got things under control now. PRL has left the arena! And I wouldn't be surprised if he's left St. Louis by now! VENTURA The wrestlers have gotten control of this thing, thank goodness! SCHIAVONE They have all piled out! The entire OAOAST roster is practically in the ring! Tha Puerto Rican walks back out, despite Popick pleading for him not to. PRL has a swagger in his step as he walks closer and closer to the ring. SCHIAVONE What? He's still here! What for? VENTURA He's not done yet, Tony! PRL raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head and breaks out into a little tease sing-song. PRL YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! Seeing this makes Bohemoth's blood boil, and he actually BREAKS FREE of Zack's, CPA's, Brickston's, and Pigley's grasps, rushing forward...AND DOING A TOPE SUICIDA OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THA PUERTO RICAN~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 SCHIAVONE OH MY—OH MY GOD! VENTURA DID HE REALLY JUST DO THAT!? SCHIAVONE HE DID! HE REALLY DID! Bohemoth gets on top of PRL and starts pounding him, but is immediately pulled back by the OAOAST wrestlers! The crowd is going nuts! VENTURA DID YOU SEE THAT!? PRL is lying in the entryway! The Lightning Crew tries to pull PRL back up, but Bo is trying to get his hands on PRL! Logan “Usher” Mann, Spanish Fly, Uber Bruiser, Sam Jackson, Zack Malibu, and Vincent “Whitey” Ford pull Bohemoth back away from Tha Puerto Rican! SCHIAVONE Bohemoth FLEW over the top rope and took out Tha Puerto Rican! I've never seen him do that before in my life! I don't think he's even ever left his feet actually! VENTURA He just took out Tha Puerto Rican using a high flying move! That's what PRL does! He's stealing from Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Stephen Joseph Popick, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and The Bone Thug lift Tha Puerto Rican up and take him and his OAOAST X-Division Championship belt back to through the curtains. Meanwhile, the OAOAST Superstars force Bohemoth to go back into the ring as the crowd quiets down. SCHIAVONE What a scene this was! What a wild unbelievable brawl we just witnessed! VENTURA I tell ya Tony, I thought this Syndicated was already memorable thanks to the Caboose-Vitamin X match! But then THIS happens! This is why I love the OAOAST! The Mad Cappa, Colombian Heat, Zack Malibu, “Sweet” Luscious Soul, Marcellus “One Eyed” Wallace, Theodore Moneymaker, Officer Tango Bosley, EMT Tim Cash, Jock Mulligan, and Baron Windels stand guard as Bohemoth returns to the ring. SCHIAVONE Bohemoth is in the ring, PRL is gone! And I'm sure he won't come back out again! VENTURA Heh, no kidding! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled this match...a NO CONTEST! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BUFFER Therefore, STILL the One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion, “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! SCHIAVONE Uh, Buffer, do you really think it's a good idea to make that announcement right now? Just in case, the OAOAST roster stands ready as “Know Your Role '99” starts playing. Instead, Bohemoth simply grabs the steel chair that PRL was going to use and slams it on the mat several times. SCHIAVONE There is a lot of anger in Bohemoth right now! VENTURA He's FURIOUS! PRL better pray that another match between them is never signed, because Bohemoth will take out all his frustration on Tha Puerto Rican, and that will NOT be pretty! SCHIAVONE For Tha Puerto Rican's sake, this match better be the First Time...Last Time...and ONLY Time that he ever faces Bohemoth! VENTURA Oh, clever one there, Tony! SCHIAVONE Thanks, Jess. “Know Your Role '99” dies down, and is replaced by “Liberate” by Disturbed. The crowd cheers loudly. Bohemoth stops smashing the steel chair and instead just holds it. He is breathing hard and his face is red as his theme song plays. BOHEMOTH I WANT MORE! GIVE ME MORE! Bohemoth holds the steel chair up and yells for Tha Puerto Rican to come back out. The OAOAST roster stands their guard as Bohemoth continues yelling inside the ring. VENTURA Bohemoth wants more of Tha Puerto Rican! SCHIAVONE Well, PR said, 'Just Bring It!' Bohemoth brought it, and he's STILL not done yet! Bohemoth slams the steel chair down and paces back and forth in the ring IN ANGER~! SCHIAVONE Bohemoth came here tonight to win the X-Division Championship and extract some revenge on Tha Puerto Rican! Well, he got more than some revenge but PRL leaves St. Louis STILL the X-Division Champion! However, I don't think Tha Puerto Rican will EVER forget tonight's edition of OAOAST Syndicated! And neither will Bohemoth! VENTURA Well, he better be content with what he got, because I think this will be the last PR/Bohemoth match for a long while! SCHIAVONE Never say never, Jess! I get the feeling a rematch maybe sooner than we think! VENTURA Then it'll be more proof of OAOAST Corporate trying to destroy Tha Puerto Rican! Damn Front Office! Trying to hold back a future OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! You know the OAOAST NEEDS Tha Puerto Rican more than they need him! He could walk out tomorrow and Bill Watts would be begging for him to come back! If I was Tha Puerto Rican, I would-- SCHIAVONE Jess, Jess! Let's stop the ranting and look at the replay okay? VENTURA You win this round, Schiavone! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Cut to Bohemoth doing a tope suicida onto Tha Puerto Rican from different angles. VENTURA I still can't believe what I saw! Bohemoth flew, he literally FLEW right onto Tha Puerto Rican! SCHIAVONE Bohemoth surprised all of us, maybe even himself with that tope suicida! I don't think anyone suspected that he had that in him! All 6'7” and 284 pounds landed on Tha Puerto Rican! VENTURA He could have seriously injured PR! SCHIAVONE I think that was his intention, Jess. VENTURA And yet these people cheer for him yet boo PRL? What the hell's wrong with these fans? SCHIAVONE They, like everyone else, are sick and tired of Tha Puerto Rican being allowed to do whatever he wants with no repercussions! For four years now, PRL has run rampant in the One And Only AngleSault Thread with no end in site! Well now, it looks like, PRL might have, just MIGHT have hit a dead end! Bohemoth could quite possibly be Tha Puerto Rican's biggest threat yet! The biggest challenge he has ever faced in his entire career! VENTURA I'm afraid he might be, Tony. I'm afraid he might be! Bohemoth is still pacing back and forth in the ring as “Liberate” continues playing. The OAOAST Superstars are still watching him while the crowd cheers. Bo yells for PRL to come back out. SCHIAVONE He is “The Metrosexual Monster”, and as we end this edition of OAOAST Syndicated in PRIMETIME~! he is standing tall alone in the ring! Listen to the respect this capacity crowd is giving him! What love and admiration these fans have for Bohemoth! Fans, thanks for tuning in to this special PRIMETIME~! edition of OAOAST Syndicated! It was the biggest Syndicated in OAOAST history! For Jesse “The Body” Ventura, this is Tony Schiavone saying good night, and we'll see you at School's Out! Bohemoth plays to the crowd who cheer him on. The OAOAST Superstars finally start to walk back to the entrance. Bohemoth is still in the ring, pacing back and forth. He is breathing hard. Bohemoth points to the steel chair on the mat and dares for Tha Puerto Rican to come back out again. He stares at the wrestlers going back to the entrance as “Liberate” by Disturbed continues playing. The crowd cheers as Bohemoth continues staring at the entrance. This is the last image we see before we fade out. * FADE TO BLACK * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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