Chanel #99 Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 Out for a promo was TMW HARD Champion and TV Champion, Painbow along with Kiki Kix PAINBOW Got me in a match at Ascension against Storm Bellmare for my HARD title. You must got me twisted, Lisa Ann! Nigga, I don't give a single fuck about no damn Storm Bellmare! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!” PAINBOW I'm from Thomson, Georgia my nigga, I get money and fuck bitches. I just beat niggas down when they say dumb shit, mostly bout how they gonna beat me and now about how they gonna be HARD champion. You ain't gonna be HARD champion, my nigga, but you can be my next victim and you can remember that even if you burn in hell. ***Murmur Vs Sumergai*** Fresh off his Challenge dealings, Sumeragi was back and ready to fight the soft spoken Murmur, a handsome lad out of Egypt. The two men dueled with technical wrestling that will be sure to impress the suits back at SMUSH. REJECT Sumeragi showed me a lot in The Challenge. I like a guy that's willing to say to hell with it and cheat blatantly. That's how its done in the Bronx. And Sumergai did just that trying to uncover the turnbuckle posts, but getting stopped by the official each time. Most of Sumeragai's cheating tactics didn't help him, and in the end he lost to the Careless Whisper, a rolling kick to the back of the head. Winner: Murmur, via pinfall Post-match Murmur took a little too long to celebrate and was attacked by a recovered Sumergai. But Murmur whispered something into his ear that had the SMUSH star running for dear life! Sara Jean was on hand to interview JESSICA FERGUSON, the sister of Jesse Ferguson. SARA JEAN Jessica, why don't you tell me about yourself? JESSICA Me? I wasn't expecting such a stupid question. Do you really need to know that? SARA JEAN Well...I dunno, I was just wondering. I guess no but... JESSICA Don't "no, but" me, idiot. I hate having to answer pointless questions. SARA JEAN Hmmmm, I apologize. JESSICA Meh. As long as you understand. Jessica announced that she's at least twenty times more talented than her brother and far superior in intellect. ***Das Wrestling Machine Vs Keyboard Warriors KyDon'tDy and WilkosWorship*** WilkosWorhsip threw chairs before the match, but it was KyDon'tDy that actually impressed looking strong against a well oiled German wrestling machine. But a machine they are and DWM were a forced to be reckoned with. Wilkos' chair throwing ways weren't enough and neither were the impressive skills of KyDon'tDy as DWM took home the win off Wanderlust a Double Crucifix Powerbomb. Winner: Das Wrestling Machine, via pinfall Post-match The Same Ol Shits arrived on the scene and gave an earful to DWM. HORSE We're damn sick and tired of being damn sicked and tired of ya'll foreigners, ya'll Euro trash coming in and stealing our titles and stealing our spots and stealing whatever ya want from us! WAKEFIELD If you had a set of stones between ya, you'd man up and face us! The SOS was promptly attacked by THE UNION JETS, who ran them off. But DWM was not happy with The Union Jets meddling and refused to shake their hands. Backstage the team of Wesley Singleton and Ignatius Maddix watched this. IGNATIUS A shame isn't it. Why can't they get along? Aren't they supposed to be the cream of the crop around these lands? WESLEY Who them? I call them the cream of a rotten crop. They'll find out soon enough where they stand in the pecking order. Heh. ***Amber O'Shea and Adelphe St.Nerdregard Vs H8U (Glass Juliet and Effie Reese)*** With football season back in action, Effie and Glass were happy to sport their UofM cheerleading outfits. REJECT Matthews, nothing like two hot teenage cheerleaders. MATTHEWS I'm with you! REJECT Yeah, right. Adelphe entered the ring first to face off with Effie... ADELPHE The chosen heroine arrives! And what is she called, this maiden of darkness? Adelphe St.Nerdregard is her name! Effie managed to overwhelm Adelphe at first, but felt bad about because Adelphe is such a nice person. Still she worked her over before making a tag to Hottie's Champ, Glass Juliet. The blond vampire went wild, hammering her foe with punches and kicks. “YOU'RE A MEANIE! YOU'RE A MEANIE! YOU'RE A MEANIE! YOU'RE A MEANIE!” GLASS JULIET Mean?! Meeeeaaaan! Mean? Mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean! REJECT I think her switch might be broken. Glass was distrateced by the attacks and allowed Adelphe to hit her with a crossbody. Then Amber got the tag which popped the crowd! MATTHEWS Partner, these two hook up in a cage match at TMW Ascension. REJECT Trapped in a cage, I don't know who I feel worse for Juliet or Amber. Amber fought hard against Juliet, using an array of brawling attacks, but then she got drapped over the ropes and got her booty exposed by Glass! GLASS JULIET Buh-dum-buh-dum! She's a hot young mom and every man's fantasy! And mine, I'm gonna bite those cheeks! But Amber fought back against having her butt bitten and made the tag to Adelphe. Pierette's baby sister looked strong, but was grounded by the vampires. Yet she was able to make a hot tag to Amber and the Hotties raced to a finish. Effie decided to take a page out of Krista's playbook and try for a bootysault, but got blocked by Amber. The tag was then given to Adelphe who hit Luminary Uppercut on her foe and got the win for her team! Winner: Adelphe St.Nerdregard and Amber O'Shea GLASS JULIET Unfair! Unfair! Unfair! Backstage we found fuckery afoot as UNDIE BROWN was seen sniffing around the locker room. UNDIE BROWN Undies, boxers, briefs, everywhere! But he eventually ran into the brick wall of GOATman Pains. GOATMAN PAINS Pain. Everywhere. BAM! GOATman knocked out Undie brown with haymaker! ***Chad Mustard Vs Burlington Pembrokshire*** After a series of losses to Storm Bellmare, Chad looked to turn it around against Pembrokshire, which he decided to do with a squat competition. Which he lost. MUSTARD Ow, my back, my legs, my ass, my taint. God, my taint. The Englishman impressed more than Chad by picking up Chad and pressing him and carrying him around the ring, then throwing him out. Chad took his sweet time in returning, but when he did looked much better than his failed squat exercises. In fact Chad was able to get back on the winning tack by hitting The Dickie Dollar brainbuster onto a knee. Winner: Chad Mustard, via pinfall Post-match Chad cut a promo! CHAD Bros, I am caught up in the emotion of my very existence right now. Not only have I lost to a transsexual many times, but xhamster continues to taunt me by prominently featuring transexual videos. And now I've been out squatted by this land before time character, but I also won. And won big. And won heroically, like a just fully white Derek Jeter. And frankly I don't think I'll ever lose another match for as long as I live... At that point Nas' “HATE ME NOW” hit and a big ovation from the Pepperdine crowd came out as one Abdullah Abir Nerdly emerged from backstage! REJECT Hell yeah, my boy is back in town! MATTHEWS Didn't you try to kick his head off last time you saw each other? REJECT I do that to almost all my friends. That's what we do in the Bronx. ABDULLAH Chad, my child, as speaker of the prophets I must speak what I have learned to you! CHAD Finally a blessing! Lay it on me! ABDULLAH The prophets say you will never WIN a match again! CHAD ABDULLAH But, if you would dare to defy the words of the holy beings you can face their emissary at TMW Ascension. CHAD What would Jetes do? What would Jetes do? Hmmm....okay, you're on! “YYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” A video package was shown of the Japanese Hottie called Princess Danger. It was a simple but frightening show of PD sitting beneath a broken throne, holding a katana that dripped with blood. There was an in ring promo to mainevent the show between Tristian and Fabian Nystrom. TRISTIAN Sometimes I hear our brothers' voices and our fathers', even our fellow Viking warriors, asking what am I doing fighting my own brother. FABIAN What are you doing then? You may have issue with me, but you have no chance of besting me in single combat. I asked you to ally with me, your own brother, your Viking commander. TRISTIAN That was thousands of years ago. FABIAN The brotherhood does not die. Allegiance should never waver. TRISTIAN Is that why you're so quick to serve Ivar? FABIAN A relic, I won't serve an antique. TRISTIAN And I won't serve a despot. Then we're at an impasse. And all that's left, if you're to be credited is our fight. FABIAN On my honor, brother, I swear to fight you in a fair match. TRISTIAN If there's honor in you, Fabian, you hide it beneath sneers and smirks. FABIAN The weak have no place at the feast for the strong. TRISTIAN What are you saying? FABIAN I want you gone from TMW. I rule this roost now. Understand? When you're defeated by me at TMW Ascension, I will spare your life out of the memory for our loving mother. But you will depart from TMW once and for all. “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” TRISTIAN You're not made to lead TMW. Or anything. You'll fail and be turned against as you always are. FABIAN That will never happen. TRISTIAN Look around, Fabian. Its already happened. Pray excuse me, I need to prepare to fight my own brother. Tristian departs the ring with Fabian yelling at him to get back here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts