Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 We hear (or pretend to hear) the sometimes beloved/sometimes maligned theme song, (whatever that is, use your imagination) as we view the dizzying introduction video. Once that usual bit of preamble is complete the logo is shown.... And we go into the sold out Staples Center in Los Angeles, California..... Pillars of orange fireworks dart down the entrance ramp, creating an illuminating wall in front of the cheering front row fanbase. Atop the entrance stage blue and red sparklers twirl in hypnotizing fashion. The camera pulls away from the amazing pyro display, to showcase the fabulously wild fans who fling signs dedicated to their favorite superstars into the sky. Eventually the image settles upon HeldDOWN's announce team. COLE Folks, welcome to the highest rated show in all of sports entertainment, OAOAST HeldDOWN! I am Michael Cole, joined as always by DA COACH! COACH We are live in Hollywood! The stars are out tonight, I see Paris Hilton, Heath Ledger, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp all here to get a glimpse of DA COACH live and in action! This is my big break! You're talking the next Denzel! This is my big shot! I won't forget you though, I'll always remember the little people. Fame won't change me. I'm still Jenny from the block. Used to have a little but now I've got a lot. COLE Uh, right. Anyway, tonight in our mainevent we have a fifteen person world tag title battle royal! This match came about when Theodore Moneymaker used his position as third largest TSM investor to go over the heads of OAOAST officials to get the match made. Obviously he wants the title off Chicks Over Dicks, and he wants it to happen in their home town. The match features, The Beverly Hills Blonds, The Militia, Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez, The Lonestar Gunslingers, GPX, America's Team, among others. Also tonight, Zack Malibu goes one on one with 24/7 champion the Cuban Wall! I can't wait for that one!PRL PROMO. Maybe??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 We cut to "Mean" Gene Okerlund at our backstage interview location. Next to him, already dressed to compete, the Beverly Hills Blonds and their manager, Enterprise CFO Mackenzie DeCenzo. OKERLUND Still to come, the over-the-top rope battle royal for the One & Only Anglesault Thread World tag team championship. But it's another championship my guests at this time wish to discuss, that being the 6-man title held by the awesome trio of Brock Ausstin and America's Team. SIMON Cowards! OKERLUND You see, one week ago on this very program Theodore Moneymaker all but guaranteed his Enterprise would capture the 6-man tag titles tonight. However-- BLANCHARD Let's cut straight to the chase, son. Brock Ausstin and America's Team are afraid to step in the ring with the Enterprise, just as we've always said they were. The only reason those belts are still around their waist is because they took advantage of CPA's inexperience the last time we met. He's not a trained wrestler; he's an ass-kicker. Ausstin and the A-team shook in their boots for a week knowing CW was going to be our third man. So when the opportunity presented itself to postpone the match, or a 'clerical error' as the company is saying, you bet your bottom dollar they jumped at the chance to do so. Like they couldn't pull double duty? I have a funny feeling that if the roles were reversed the OAOAST would have us compete twice in one night. Then again, I wouldn't blame them. Any excuse to put the hottest tag team in sports entertainment on the tube = ratings. OKERLUND Anytime you can give the fans more bang for their buck, I'm all for it. Despite your attitudes, there's no denying you're two of the best wrestlers in the sport today. BLANCHARD What? OKERLUND I said they're two of the best wrestlers in the sport today. SINGLETON You're lucky we don't sure you for defamation of character. Get with the times, gramps. Wrestlers are rednecks with two front teeth. The Beverly Hills Blonds are cool and tanned sports entertainers. We're the guys everyone wishes they can be, but aren't. Take the teams involved in tonight's battle royal. I mean, the Heavenly Rockers? We beat them so bad in the past we nearly ran them out of town. What about the Lone Star Gunslingers? Now there are some real rednecks. And who can forget America's Team? They may have chickened out of our 6-man tag match, but they won't be able to escape us in the battle royal. OKERLUND Mackenzie? MACKENZIE They say diamonds are a girl's best friend. But honey, I'm no girl... I'm all woman, and this woman desires championship gold. BLANCHARD And you're gonna get some tonight, sweetheart. The Beverly Hills Blonds were the first 3-time OAOAST World tag team champions, and we'll be the first 4-time titleholders too. You can deposit that in the bank. A familiar voice is heard from the shadows, though the person isn't seen. MAN (Off-screen) It might not be solid gold, but it's a championship. OKERLUND Hold on just a minute. Outfitted in a red Hawaiian shirt and stroking his trademark 70's porno mustache, Rico walks on set with Lucius at his side and newly won HI-YAH tag team titles draped across their shoulders. The duo pause to observe Mackenzie. An attention whore, Mackie plays to the men, which nearly sends Soul into cardiac arrest. SINGLETON "Sweet" Lucius Soul and Rico de Janerio, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! I gotta ask how it feels to have championship... silver around your waists, or shoulders in this case? SOUL (licking chops) About as 'ol Mackie here looks Double S... mighty fine. RICO Speaking of fine, babe alert at 8:37. Heads and camera turn to find HOLLY-WOOD grabbing some munchies for the absent Heavenly Rockers, cup in hand. BLANCHARD Oh, hell no! Sloppy seconds and the wrath of Logan Mann? You don't want any of that. Been there and done that. SOUL Yo, I ain't hatin', but we don't need no advice on the ladies there brah. Excuse us, ladies and gents. I gots'a funky feelin' the Homewrecking Crew has found its latest woman to liberate and lubricate. SINGLETON Let's get the hell outta here. I got a bad feeling about this. The Blonds dodge out of town while Rico and Soul scroll over to Holly. RICO Hey, doll face... (strokes porn 'stache) ... you must be exhausted because you've been running through my mind all night. HOLLY Excuse me? RICO Allow me to introduce myself... and perhaps later expose myself. The name's Rico de Janerio. Pleased to make your acquaintance. (extends hand) HOLLY And I'll be pleased the second you leave. RICO Ooh, feisty AND a sense of humor. My kinda lad-aay. Anyway, how 'bout... HOLLY Uh, HELLO! Ring on finger. Holly-Wood points to the sparkling wedding ring on her hand, causing Soul to wipe a smirk from his face. SOUL Hey that's cool, baby. All adds to the excitement. HOLLY Who the hell are you? SOUL Sweetness himself, sugar. "Sweet" Lucius Soul to be exact. HOLLY Nice nickname. Is that supposed to impress me? SOUL You know, Rico, I'm startin' to get a little tired of this 'forbidden fruit' act. What the deal, sweet thing? I know it ain't no race thing because you the property of Logan... HOLLY I'm no one's property. Logan's my husband. And if you don't leave me alone, you'll have to answer to him. Once I'm through kicking your asses, that is. RICO Come on, baby. Doesn't everyone want a little fun in their lives? Your old man seems to think so, otherwise he wouldn't have planted one of that foxy Nerdly chicá at AngleMania! Seems to ol' Rico here, he's getting bored playing Ozzie and Harriet. The comment strikes a nerve with Holly, pausing in deep thought, clutching the cup in her hand... SOUL (whispering to Rico) Awwww yeah. I'm ready to wreck that chick. ...before TOSSING IT IN RICO'S FACE!! RICO :firedevil: With the brown colored beverage trickling down his face, Rico takes a step forward... but is cut off by the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS!? SOUL What d'you fools want? JOCK For you two fellahs to leave this dame alone and head on back to where it is you came from. Lucius glances at the camera and then back at Jock, who along with Baron escort Holly back to her dressing room. SOUL Oh, no you didn't. OH, NO you didn't! I got yo punk ass on video uttering a racist remark. I ain't havin' that! Nah, it jus ain't goin' DOWN like that foo'! I'm'a have Al Sharpton and the Reverend Jesse Jackson on yo ass! Gene-O, quit standing around. You here saw that. Collaborate my story. OKERLUND There was nothing racist about his remark at all! He simply asked you and Rico to leave Holly alone! SOUL Man, I shouldn't have expected you to help a brother out. (looks at Rico) Somebody get a burn unit out here! Can't a brother get some EMTs up in this place!? My man could be scarred! The women wouldn't like that... yo, Rico, you ain't screaming or nothin', bro. Don't it burn? RICO It should, shouldn't it? Rico runs his tongue across his now brown porn 'stache. RICO Chocolate milk. SOUL Say what? RICO Chocolate milk. She threw chocolate milk in my face. SOUL DAYYUM!, the girl even prefers her milk brown! I'm down with that! RICO Let's get out of here. I gotta change my shirt. But it damn sure ain't the last of this. While Rico ponders his wardrobe decisions, you and I will go to a commercial break.COMMERCIAL BREAK The first image after our last commercial is a waist up shot of Maggie Nerdly, standing next to a super imposed graphic of the oaoast logo. MAGGIE Didn't get enough of your favorite oaoast superstars tonight? No prob, dudes. Surf on over to oaoast.com and checkout OAOAST Afterparty. This week we hit the Los Angeles nightlife with Alix, go surfing down under with my brothers Marvin and Melvin, and Zack Malibu talks about the joys and trials of fatherhood. All this on OAOAST afterparty, hosted by your's truly, the hostess with the mostess, Melody Nerdly. I mean, Maggie. Shoot, I forgot which one I was. Maybe I'm not even Maggie, maybe I'm really Monica. Uh, just watch the Afterparty, I'll be there, whoever I am. Maggie's advert fades from view, replaced by the sight of...... the Lightning Crew locker room, now being vacated by The Cuban Wall! COLE And coming up next on HeldDOWN~!, Cuban Wall to take o... *CRACK!* COLE ...what the hell!? Suddenly the moody 'Coming Up Next' music screeches to a halt as a steel chair slams across Cuban Wall's left shoulder, at the hands of JAMIE O'HARA!! The 24/7 Champion, caught completely off-guard by the sneak attack, collapses back into the wall behind him as O'Hara retrieves the chair that flew out of his hands from the force of it rebounding off of Wall's body! COACH What the hell is this!? Wall's got a match! COLE Damn right he's got a match, he's got his first title defence, right here and right now! Cuban Wall learning what it's like to be the 24/7 Champion! O'Hara stalks over Cuban Wall as he angrily shakes off the unexpected chairshot and pulls himself away from the wall. The LA wall. Wall, the human one (man, too many walls! And now I just broke the fourth wall! AAAHHH!) , turns around in search of where the attack is coming from... *CRACK!* ...and FINDS IT, in the form of another chairshot, right over the head! Wall goes down from the second shot and quickly O'Hara dives on top of the 24/7 Champion, as referee Charles Robinson scrambles into view... "ONE!" "TWO!" Kickout by Wall! Regaining control of the chair again, O'Hara again waits on Wall to get back up... O'HARA C'MON GEEZ', GEDDUP YA OVERSIZED BASTARD! ...before swinging down with the chair... *CLANG!* ...and getting it PUNCHED clean out of his hands by the 24/7 Champion! O'Hara is understandably surprised by that and doesn't react in time to block the knee to the gut that follows, as Wall climbs back to his feet. Shaking his head clear of cobwebs, Wall then grabs O'Hara behind the head... AND PITCHES HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE WALL!! Unfortunately for The Birmingham Bad Boy, The Staples Center doesn't consist of those flimsy walls you can get thrown clean through. They're hard. And they hurt. O'Hara slides down the wall with his flesh screeching down the paintwork, ending up slumped against the wall and seeings stars. Growling under his breath, Cuban Wall now grabs the chair... *CLANG!* ...and simply TOSSES the chair at O'Hara's head, the steel impliment bouncing off of O'Hara skull and coming to a rest at his side. Having finally gained his bearings in this unexpected 24/7 Title match, Wall finally afford himself a sneer as he looks down at the Brit. WALL Nice try kid. And with that Wall strolls off, leaving the dazed Birmingham Bad Boy slumped against the wall. COLE ...uhm, Cuban Wall on the way to the ring! Hopefully, this time. COACH And he's still the 24/7 Champion! A fine title defence! COLE Well, we'll see if he can handle Zack Malibu, and that match is next! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 "LIGHTNING CREW" Those two words are all it takes for the crowd to be whipped into a collection of catcalls, as "No Chance In Hell" hits, marking the entrance of the resident muscle of the Lightning Crew. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a non-title match, scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle at this time, from Havana, Cuba, and weighing in at two hundred, eighty five pounds, he is the current reigning and defending OAOAST 24/7 Champion...from the Lightning Crew, this is CUUUUUUUUUBAN WAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL! The big man isn't afraid to tell a few fans where to go, even threatning to whip a boy of maybe 10 with the 24/7 belt! The startled youngster hides behind his father, who is just as intimidated, as the big badass makes his way to the ring, sneering at anyone who dare look him in the eye. COLE This is a scary, scary man. Wall circles the ring, throwing a few phantom punches and cracking his neck, as "Getting Away With Murder" replaces his theme song, and brings the crowd to their feet! BUFFER His opponent, hailing from Providence, Rhode Island. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and five pounds...he is the Franchise of the OAOAST, the Modern Day Warrior, ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MALLLLLLLLLLLIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Through the pyro shower steps Zack Malibu, his usual focused self. Zack walks the aisle slowly, approaching the ring to lock up for the very first time with Tha Puerto Rican's hired henchman. COLE This all came about when Tha Puerto Rican got in Zack Malibu's face backstage last week, and now apparently Cuban Wall wants to make an issue out of it. COACH As big of a badass as he is, he's got to know that he's in there with "the man", right now. Not to mention Zacky boy ain't been a fountain of happiness lately. COLE Indeed, the war with Drek Stone is taking its toll on Zack Malibu, and we'll see if any of that serves as a distraction here tonight. Malibu hops up on the apron and slingshots over the ropes into the ring...but just as his feet hit the mat he's taken out with a hard running lariat from Cuban Wall, who wants to get started before the bell rings! Wall then pulls Malibu up, sneering to the crowd before lifting the former World Champion up over his head, pressing him high before throwing him OVER THE ROPES AND DOWN TO THE FLOOR~! COACH YO~! COLE The 24/7 Champion is impatient tonight! Zack Malibu hasn't even removed his entrance gear, and he's already been laid out on the ringside floor! Wall moves through the ropes, hopping down to the floor, as referee Charles Robinson tries his best to get him to stay in the ring. Wall rolls his eyes, as if to say that Robinson's crazy if he thinks Wall is gonna listen. The big Cuban pulls Malibu up off the floor, holding him by one arm...and pulls him into a short arm clothesline! He lifts Malibu up again, and this time he whips him across ringside, sending a dazed Malibu crashing into the cold steel of the guardrail! COACH I bet Drek Stone is LOVING this. Wall charges at his opponent, but Malibu kicks up, planting both of his feet in Wall's chest! Cuban Wall staggers back, as Malibu runs, springs off the ring steps, and nails him with a diving clothesline to the crowd's delight! COLE He's not loving that, that's for sure! Malibu tears off his hooded vest and throws it down before picking Wall up. He nails the big man with a European uppercut, then connects with a hard chop as well before taking him by the head and rolling him into the ring. Once Malibu hops up on the apron, Robinson frantically calls for the bell, looking to make things official...and just after the bell sounds, Zack springboards into the ring, nailing Cuban Wall with a missle dropkick! The Wall goes down, and Malibu eggs him on to get back up, spitting in the face of danger! As Wall gets up, Malibu rocks him with hard slaps to both sides of his face, then takes him and whips him into the corner before following up with a running clothesline! He takes Wall by the head and runs him out of the corner, looking for a bulldog, but Wall pushes him away! Malibu stops short, then turns around and fires off SCHOOL'S OUT...but Cuban Wall catches Zack's foot and spins him around, grabbing him by the throat and lifting him into a two hand choke before drilling him into the canvas! COLE He just threw Malibu down like he was nothing! Wall puts the boots to Malibu, then hits the ropes, coming off with his patented big splash on the fallen Malibu...BUT ZACK ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Wall winds up driving himself into the canvas, coming up short, as Malibu rolls to his feet! Zack immediately sits on Wall's back as he pushes up, nailing him with several hard crossfaces before rushing towards the ropes and coming off with a basement dropkick, right into his face! Wall rolls away, then gets up near the ropes, and Malibu follows suit. He takes Wall by the arm and sends him in, but Wall reverses the whip and sends Zack to the ropes, drilling him with a big boot on the rebound! An elbowdrop onto the fallen prep follows, and so does the first cover of the contest! ONE! T-KICKOUT! COACH Near fall for the Wall! Wall drags Zack to his feet, and starts pummeling him with soupbone shots all over his upper body before setting him into a standing headscissors, lifting him up for a powerbomb...but Malibu slips out of his grasp and lands on his feet before him! Malibu starts firing off left handed jabs, staggering Cuban Wall more and more with every shot before spinning around and cracking him with a discus clothesline! Malibu then ducks out to the apron, looking over his shoulder to the crowd and nodding to his supporters before leaping onto the top, springboarding off with an elbowdrop down onto Cuban Wall! The impact of the move rattles Wall, as he rolls away from Zack, standing up near the ropes...only to get dumped over the ropes courtesy of a clothesline from Malibu! Wall lands on his feet and shakes off the blow, and pulls Zack out to the floor by his ankles, then rams his back into the hard edge of the apron! Wall walks away from Malibu, still a bit in a fog, while Malibu reels from his brief attack. COLE Wall bought himself some time here by smashing Zack's back into the ring apron, now we have to see if he can maintain control over Malibu. Wall walks back towards Malibu, holding him by the head as he beats on him with hard forearm shots, then takes him by the waistband and hurls him into the ringsteps, knocking them over! Wall stalks Zack as he struggles to get up, and lifts him off the ground, slamming him on the bottom part of the steel stairs! Malibu howls in pain as Wall picks him up again, but this time Charles Robinson is on his case to take it back into the ring or risk a count-out. Perturbed but yet compliant, Wall tosses Zack back into the ring, then re-enters himself, keeping an eye on his foe. Zack comes up, but gets pulled into a knee, then gets sent into the ropes. Zack bounces back, headed right towards the Wall, who elevates Malibu high into the air before gravity takes its toll and sends Malibu falling down hard to the canvas, face first! Wall hits the ropes and delivers a legdrop to the back of Malibu's head, and rolls him over, covering him once again! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Malibu gets a shoulder up just in time, but the big man is certainly earning his stripes tonight, putting up a hell of a fight against the OAOAST Original. COACH Zack knows what it's like to deal with a big man after that war with Blank, but Wall is holdin' it down for the LC! Wall picks Zack up, and scoops him up onto his shoulder. Getting a running start, he rushes towards the corner, but just as he's about to hit snake eyes on Zack, Malibu slips off his shoulder behind his back, and shoves him into the corner! Wall htis and stumbles back, right into a release German Suplex by Zack Malibu! COLE Zack takes the big man over! With the crowd behind him, Zack comes up to his feet and rests in the corner, watching and waiting as Cuban Wall suffers from the suplex. As he gets up, Zack runs out of the corner and cracks him with a running kneelift, which sends Wall up to a (dazed) vertical base, leaving him open for a spinning wheel kick off the ropes! Zack covers, and Robinson is right there for it! ONE! TWO! NO! Wall pushes Malibu up off of him, but when he sits up, Zack strikes with a kick across the back, then pulls him to his feet and stuns him with a European uppercut! Wall gets sent to the corner next, but when Malibu runs in, Wall nails him with a back elbow, sending him back pedaling! Malibu looks up just in time to see Wall coming at him with a clothesline, but Zack ducks it and reaches back, dropping the big man with a snap neckbreaker! Wall kicks his legs as he agonizes, holding his head in pain, while Zack again waits for him to get up. As Wall gets up, Zack rushes up behind him, hitting a German Suplex, but this time not letting go! He rolls to his feet, and again, takes Wall over with a German suplex! Another roll-through, but this time Wall elbows out of it! He grabs Zack and pounds on him with forearms again, then takes him up for a vertical suplex...but Zack falls behind him and quickly hits the ANGLE SLAM~! The crowd roars as Wall gets dropped to the canvas, and Zack crawls on top of him for the cover! ONE! TWO! THR-WAIT! WAIT! VITAMIN X PULLS MALIBU OUT OF THE RING! COACH YO! COLE What the...Vitamin X, just saving Wall from what was likely a Malibu victory! The beatdown takes place at ringside, with X working over Malibu while Wall recovers. He throws Malibu back into the ring, and when Wall gets up, it's a 2 on 1 on the popular superstar! COACH They're beatin' him down, Mikey Cole! COLE The Lightning Crew, looking to send a message here tonight, and...waitaminute! The crowd roars as JAMIE O'HARA rushes out from the back to make the save! The young Hooligan quickly leaps onto the top rope and springboards into the ring, making a hell of an entrance as he hits a springboard crossbody that takes both Wall and X down! The crowd roars as O'Hara goes to aid Malibu in getting to his feet...but as he does, he's nailed from behind by The Bone Thug! COLE What, is the WHOLE crew coming out tonight!? Bone Thug takes J-OH down, but Malibu starts firing off right hands to fight back...until he's blasted from behind by Wall! Once again, the numbers work in favor of the LC...until the Metrosexual Monster starts charging down the aisle! COACH BO! Bohemoth slides into the ring, catching a charging Bone Thug and drilling him with a spinebuster slam! Wall comes forward and the two start trading blows, as Bohemoth has evened the odds...for all of about 30 seconds, as HE gets nailed from behind with a chairshot from THA PUERTO RICAN! COLE Dammit! The Lightning Crew momentarily celebrate, until the boss tells them to keep working on Malibu, O'Hara, and Bo. The 4 on 3 continues, with Wall pounding on O'Hara, X and Thug trapping Malibu in a corner, and the X Division Champion choking Bohemoth with the edge of the chair! The Crew has the situation going well in their favor, until... ...THE LIGHTS GO OUT~!~!~! COACH Hold me, Mikey! COLE GET OUT OF MY LAP! The fans buzz, fully knowing that a blackout in wrestling leads to something worth talking about the next day. In this case, the streak continues, as when they come back on, CABOOSE is in the ring, cricket bat in hand! COACH 'BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE! The fans roar as Vitamin X charges, but gets caught with a bat shot to the gut! Cuban Wall comes and gets the bat jabbed in his ribs, then slammed across his back! Bone Thug takes a shot but it's ducked, and Caboose wraps the bat around his throat, then snaps him down with a quick Russian legsweep! COLE CABOOSE IS TAKING OUT THE LIGHTNING CREW! The last one standing is the leader, and Caboose goes right for him, but Tha Puerto Rican holds the chair up like a shield, blocking the bat shot! He then throws the chair down and bails out of the ring, gathering his wounded troops in the aisleway as Caboose and friends stand tall in the ring! COLE A one on one match between Zack Malibu and Cuban Wall turned into a frenzy here tonight, and The Lightning Crew has been sent packing! The X-Division Champion and his loyal followers issue threats from the aisleway, but are in no rush to hit the ring and make good on them. Malibu and Caboose shake hands and hug, their friendship one of the longest lasting in the company, as Bohemoth and O'Hara stand on the ropes, begging for the LC to come back. Malibu and Caboose stand side by side with them, and now that the odds are even, what could happen next between these eight men!? The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen.The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover)In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance.Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows.And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing.Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror....and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM.But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Stevens looking off into the distance.The bitter world that they could unite... Head shot of Axel staring off into the distance.And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement.World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? After the hype video concludes we rejoin HeldDOWN~! in the bustling metropolis that is Los Angeles, with the cameras taking us into the bustling metropolis that is the backstage area. Standing by is someone who has nothing to do with metropolises (metropoli?), bringing that runner to an abrupt end, one of the legion of OAOAST interview staff Tony Schiavone, alongside two more of the Battle Royal competitors. SCHIAVONE Landon Maddix, Todd Cortez, after varying levels of success at AngleMania you return to action tonight in the big Tag Team Championship Battle Royal. Victory tonight would mean you become the first team to win both the OAOAST and SWF World Tag Team Championships, a potentially history making night. MADDIX It's funny how things sometimes work themselves out in life. You know, a few months ago me and Todd here were gunning for the tag team titles. HI-YAH, OAOAST, whatever. We were after tag team gold. We came to an agreement to let bygones be bygones and leave the past in the past. Let sleeping dogs lie, don't cry over spilt milk, two heads are better than one... we followed virtually every cliché going right to the letter. Until, that is, ONE of us ballsed up our plans. Todd's eyes narrow a little, which apparantly goes unnoticed by Landon or Megan. MADDIX But, as it turned out, everything worked out just fine. Instead of me and Todd going to AngleMania and challenging for those Japanese titles, Todd found himself in a high-profile AngleMania match and yours truly went on to capture this... Reaching off screen, Landon picks a piece of paper up off the floor. Not just any piece of paper though, a contract. MADDIX Don't worry, it's laminated. SCHIAVONE Oh. MADDIX Yeah. Apparantly they ran out of briefcases, what with all these guaranteed title shots flying around. But briefcase or no briefcase, at AngleMania, I earned myself this Money In The Bank contract, a contract that guarantees me a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at any point I so choose within the next twelve months. Infact, you can just go ahead and call me 'Dinero Del Señor En El Banco'. Silence. SCHIAVONE Uhm, say what? CORTEZ It means Mister Money I... MADDIX MR. Money In The Bank! Never a more fitting name than when associated with yours truly, Landon Maddix. You see, I've got this contract. (looks down at his waist) I've got this, the SWF World Heavyweight Championship. I've got a lucrative endorsement deal with the good people at Pepsi. Megan not so subtely holds a can of Pepsi Max up over Schiavone's shoulder. This blatant advertisement doesn't seem to impress Todd though. MADDIX Nothing like a can of Pepsi Max to prepare you for battle. And now, tonight, it's right back to where we were. Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez going right back after those OAOAST World Tag Team Championships, one more time. We've cleared the air after what happened at Syndicated and we've made it pretty clear that nobody is above this team. One of us has been warned over his future conduct... of course, in the interests of fairness, I won't say which one of us, but I'm sure you can all figure it out for yourselves. In the background, Todd's eyes narrow again. MADDIX But the point is, Martial Law has been RE-declared on the OAOAST! Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez are back in synch and back in pursuit of the gold. In a Battle Royal no less! It's so perfect, it almost reads like a Hollywood script! I think my track record in Battle Royals speaks for itself. And I've been training my buddy Todd here on the finer points of the art of the Battle Royal for the past week to make sure he can hold up his end, so there is no weak link on this team. You're looking at the new, history making OAOAST Tag Team Champions... Landon holds his contract up again. MADDIX ...the perfect thing to tide me over, until it's time to cash this baby in. And, by the way, Drek... Zack... I've got my ticket stamped for Houston and I will be there at School's Out. Watching. Waiting.COMMERCIAL BREAK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 The shot is an overhead view of the jam packed Staples Center, with corporate logos appearing on the screen as Cole reads down the sponsor list. COLE Folks, HeldDOWN is brought to you by Woolite, tough love for your carpet. And by Audition, the online dance club, get in the groove at Nexon.net. And buy Nieva good bye cellulite, touch and be touched. COACH I bet that cellulite remover is real popular with you.PRL SEGMENT?COMMERCIAL BREAK Fancy pictures! When we return we're shown an outside image of The Staples Center Or as I like to call it, the building where Luke Walton gave me a funny feeling in my tummy. Um, anyway, the announce team has important information for us. Let's listen! COLE As we will see later on tonight, HI-YAH Promotions have a big live event running in conjunction with HeldDOWN~! tonight in Yokohama, Japan. Obviously, the HI-YAH World Title will be on the line and also scheduled was to be a HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship defence by the gaijin heartthrobs D*LUX. That was, until last week, when D*LUX found themselves in an unscheduled title defence here on HeldDOWN~! against The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew...Rolling his own, illegal partner away from the ring, Rico turns Tyler over. Another big elbow finds the mark, this time to the chest. And staying sat beside the boybander, Rico then sits Tyler up and grabs him by the head, locking on an Anaconda Vice! COACH The Rico Vice! He's got it locked it! COLE And look at him sit back with it, Rico trying to cut the air off on "Tremendous" Tyler! Already struggling to breathe as it is Tyler immediately starts to flail around as the hold gets clamped on. With his head bent completely forward over his throat Tyler fights and fights but the more he fights, the more pressure he finds his airways under... "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LU..." *TAPTAPTAPTAP!* *DINGDINGDING!* COLE I... I don't believe it! We've got new Champions! The crowd completely sink as the bell sounds and Rico releases the hold and flops backwards, punching his fists into the air in celebration. Lucius looks up from behind the ring apron and his eyes bulge, hardly able to contain himself as Michael Buffer walks over and lays the titles down on the apron. Lucius grabs the belts and looks at them in disbelief, before breaking out into a dance right there in front of the announce table. BUFFER Your winners of this contest... and the NEEWW HI-YAH WORLD Tag Team Champions... "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL and RICO DE JANEIRO... THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOMMEEEWRECKING CCRRRRREEEEEEWWWWW!!! COLE A stunning victory, which has thrown plans up in the air across the world. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew tonight look to make history in the Tag Team Battle Royal for the OAOAST Tag Team Championships, with the chance to become the first team to hold both sets of titles at the same time. Differing fortunes for the former champions though. They're still out in Japan to fulfill their commitments, still to take on two of HI-YAH's homegrown stars... but, without titles to defend. COACH And, obviously, out of the running for the OAOAST Tag Titles tonight. COLE Yes. Obviously they weren't scheduled to be here tonight anyway, but they had no to chance to re-arrange their bookings with HI-YAH and the OAOAST and trade places with the new champions. Or, rather, Jade Rodez had no time to re-arrange the contracts she'd signed. Conveniently, she was 'busy'. All week. COACH Of course she was busy! She's involved in a very high-maintence and above all very professional operation now she's with The Enterprise, you can't just expect her to be available at the drop of a hat anymore. COLE So, D*LUX were left up the creek without a paddle again and they're in Japan as we speak. But we understand they will be back here, live, next week on HeldDOWN~! I wonder what 'certain people' have in store for them when they return to these shores. Fans, our mainevent is coming up shortly. Don't go away!COMMERCIAL BREAK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 CABOOSE PROMO? The view is sofa central, or Michael Cole at least. Though we do see Mackenzie DeCenzo, attired in chic business suit, situated atop a director's chair, behind the announcer. Coach is apparently absent, and whether that's a good or bad thing is a value judgment I leave you to make. COLE Fans, it's time for the mainevent of our spectacular show. You see Mackenzie DeCenzo positioned behind me in a director's chair, she's very eager to observe the upcoming contest. As is my guest on commentary, the CEO of The Enterprise, and the richest man in sports entertainment, Theodore Moneymaker. Mister Moneymaker, welcome to sofa central. MONEYMAKER The pleasure is all your's, Michael Cole, I assure you. Sofa central, huh? What city dump did you drag this dilapidated piece of crap out of. I feel like I should've called the Orkin man to fumigate before I set down. COLE I'm so terribly sorry that my meager accommodations do not meet your high and lofty standards. Now, you are the man responsible for this tag title battle royal, using your clout as a TSM investor to go over the head of the oaoast matchmakers to get this contest created. I think it's fairly obvious that you're doing this to get back at Chicks Over Dicks, embarrass them, and cost them their titles in their hometown. MONEYMAKER You have it all wrong, as usual, Cole. This is about opportunity! This is about pitting fifteen of the greatest tag teams in the world to fight over the greatest prize in all of tag team wrestling. I'm not like Chicks Over Dicks, your current champions. All they care about is their fame, and the spotlight, and being the “it” girls, and partying. Wrestling means nothing to them! I love this sport, and I wish to uphold it's many traditions and excellencies! COLE Come on! MONEYMAKER And if they should lose their tag titles tonight, preferably to a member of The Enterprise, I wouldn't be overly upset about that. COLE Let's turn it over to Maggie Nerdly. The hostess with the mostess, eighteen year old Maggie, has positioned herself atop the second turnbuckle, peering into the rabid audience. Her attire is that of a unique mixture of prep and goth, ruffled black mini skirt with a detectable rose embodiment, fishnet stockings that plunge into green army boots, purple mesh wrist bands that stretch to her elbows, and black polo shirt from Hollister, with the right side of the collar popped into the air. MAGGIE LA, it's been a beautiful night! You've been off the chain, and we've had some great matches and heard some great interviews, but are you ready for your main event? Because if you are make some noise! As prompted the sold out arena throws forth an army of cheers and applause. MAGGIE Then the upcoming match is a fifteen team, battle royal for the most coveted title in tag team wrestling the oaoast world tag team titles! Let's get this party started on a Thursday night! The sound of bars slamming that marks the opening of Cross That Line by Rick Ross slithers through the arena. The fans buzz with a joyful anticipation not likely to be found in any other arena in America, as the lights shine a blue glow upon the staging.Convict....Convict....Convict Up front Yeah.... Convict Music A direful piano melody increases the dramatic tension of the mood, while images of the South Central Militia's various conquests flash across the Angletron. Small outcroppings of “MILITIA!” chants begin to seep from the higher sections of the arena.Oooooh ooooh oooooh If you ever cross that line I guarantee ya there'll be nothin' to save ya (save ya, save ya) I got a whole bunch of gorillas ready to pull the trigga And we all for that paper (paper) Comin' from a life of crime Tryna be on my best behavior You see my rep's gettin' bigger but still that same nigga bustin' shots at them haters (them haters, them haters) But only if you cross that line The enormous bass of Rick Ross' gangsta theme sends tremors through the arena's floor, as the small cheers now grow in an enormous manner. The entrance doors rip apart, showcasing The South Central Militia to the only city in the world that appreciates their unique personas, their home, Los Angeles, California. A rocking ovation joins the booming nature of their entrance as One-Eye Wallace rushes through a cloud of smoke to enthusiastically toss up gang signs to his applauding hometown. White tank top covering his near emaciated upper body, and legs housed behind a pair of Artful Dodger jeans who's backside feature intricate cursive lettering above a drawing of a rose, Vincent Santana simply stands with his hands folded, nodding with the satisfied smugness that being in front of your own people brings. MONEYMAKER These men are convicted criminals, drug dealers, pimps, and a blight on their community. And of course these people cheer for them! Just because they're from the same city doesn't mean you have to cheer them! What kind of miserable place is this? Outfitted in a pair of pale electric blue jeans, that boast brilliant gold dollar signs on their rear pockets, Marcellus Wallace patrols the entrance stage, emitting fierce howls, that are eagerly matched by those audience members nearest the stage. MAGGIE Introducing team numero uno! First, throwing it up for all his homies in cell block six, he is the 2002 San Quentin State prison's worst prisoner of the year, Marcellus “One-Eye” Wallace! And his partner...lodi doddi, he likes to party, he don't cause trouble, he don't bother nobody, he is VINCENT “WHITEY” SANTANAAAAA!” Together they're representing for all the real hoods, the real gangsters, the real pimps, and the real players of Los Angeles County, they are the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIAAAAA! The end of Maggie's introduction is serenaded by grand applause from the fans. The Militia who usually use their trip down the ramp to insult and berate the oaoast fanbase, now rake in the positive reaction, rolling their fists through the air and pointing towards those fans who proudly hoist their SCM signs into the sky. MONEYMAKER Those are children with those signs, Michael Cole. Children are holding up signs supporting felons and drug dealers. Has this city no shame? No honor? The south Los Angeles soldiers dive into the squared circle, while blue and gold lights dance around the battlefield. Both men ascend to the top turnbuckle, where their arms move into the skies, matching the cheers which grow to their highest point yet. After the Cross That Line fades into nothingness, a familiar sermon enters The Staples CenterIn a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... The playful musing of O-Town's Make Her Say keeps the crowd in a joyful mood, as they prepare for the arrival of The Global Party Xxchange. The cherished youngsters burst onto the stage, gliding through a sea of roving red, yellow, and green spotlights, as their energy matches the frantic bounce of their entrance music. Scotty's Nike adorned feet slide across the stage, while his hand makes the motion of cruising with a steering wheel. Johnny's arms pump in the air, as his head matches the nods of the cheering audience. Eventually the duo come together at the center of the staging to pass along high fives, fist pounds, and motivational words for the fight to come. MELODY And team number two! First from ATL Zone 3, he's dope boy, da-da-dope boy fresh, he is JOHNNY “JAM” JACKSSSSOOOOOON! And his shawty, from the 313, Detroit rooooooock citaaaaaaay, he's slapping you haters with his business hand, SCOTTY STATIIIICCC! If you're a girl between the ages of eight and nineteen, you probably have a poster of them on your wall. They are THE GLOOOOBAAAAL PARTAAAAAY EXCHAAAAANGE! Outfitted in matching LA Clippers jerseys and red track pants, the pair waste no time in speeding to ring, sliding into the squared circle amidst a wealth of cheers. They pass high fives to each other, and make the ubiquitous belt motion, showing their desire to become three time tag team champions. COLE The Global Party Xchange. They need no introduction, both these kids are still in their early twenties, but have made an incredible impact on the oaoast since day one. They have to be one of the strong favorites to win this match. Folks, we'll return with more when we come back.COMMERCIAL BREAK When HeldDOWN returns to screens worldwide, the ring has now become an ocean of bodies, occupied by GPX, The SCM, Rescue 911, The Beverly Hills Blonds, Christian Wright and Craig Patrick Allen, The Heavenly Rockers, America's Team, Los Conquistadors, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew NRG, Los Diablos De Fuego and The Love Doctors, ten of the fifteen teams in the contest. You didn't really think I was going to write all those entrances, did you? I'M ONLY HUMAN!Laaaaaaast summer we took threes across the boooard, But by faaaaaall we were a cover story, Now in stooooooreeees. Make us poster boys for your scene. But we....are not making an acceptance speech. I found the safest place to keep all our old mistakes. Every dot com's refreshing for a journal update. After several weeks of confusion, the audience has finally learned to recognize the high arcing vocals of Fall Out Boy's Thriller, and pour down their cheers and appreciation for the soon to be arriving Lonestar Gunslingers. Their support gets even louder, when the Slinger's manager, Melody Nerdly, giddily skips onto stage, her svelte figure poured into highly revealing daisy dukes and tied up red flannel shirt. As she two steps across the staging, her boys appear behind her, giving the women in the audience something to hoot and holler over, showcasing their gorgeous bodies. COLE Here come The Lonestar Gunslingers! Perhaps the fastest rising team in the OAOAST! Melody continues converting the entrance stage into the world's largest ho-down, enlisting Baron in her round of comical dosey-doeing. Jock isn't much for the dancing, and simply looks on with an amused grin as his associates dance out of sync with the pop-rock tune.I can taaaaake your problems awaaaaaaay, With a nod and a wave of my hand, 'Cause that's just the kind of boy that I aaaaaaam. The only thing I haven't done yet is die. And it's me and...my plus one at the afterlife. Crowds are won and lost and won again, But our hearts beat...for the diehaaaaaaaaards. MAGGIE And team...I don't know what number we're one, actually. They are being accompanied by the greatest sister in the world, my big sis, Melody, first he is The Texas Twistah, and one hot mistah, JOCK MULLIGAN! And his partner, he is my future husband, even if I have to drug him, brain wash him, and keep him tied up in the basement, BARON WINDEEELLLSSSS! They are god's gift to all of woman kind, all my girls give it up for THE LOOOONESTAAAAAR GUNLISNGERSSSS! Give it up they do, shrieking and yelling as though they were in the presence of Justin Timberlake and Robin Thicke. Somehow the boys are able to ignore the thousands of women screaming their names as they enter the overcrowded battlefield. Their geeky manager takes position next to Holly-wood, and discusses her latest conquest in Gears Of War for Xbox360. Holly reacts with all the interest of a three year old being presented with a dissertation on Walden.REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH The industrial glam stylings of Marylin Manson's Personal Jesus, and the sudden swirl of deep blue spotlights, are met with a frigid cold front from the sold out arena. The entrance doors come tearing apart, first revealing the lovely Megan Skye, outfitted in a light blue, floral print, ruffled trim dress. However, Her face doesn't match her peaceable attire, directing a harsh glare into the eye of the camera. Parading from her side, is boyfriend Landon Maddix, sporting a much rosier disposition, thanks in large part to the laminated Money In The Bank contract resting within his hands. As the green and gold attired fighter dances along to his entrance music, he thumps his fingers against the prized piece of paper, showing it off to the hateful audience. Cortez is the last to saunter out, his tapped knuckles cracking in the same fashion as his neck. A scowl appears on his face, while his eyes stare down his many foes. MONEYMAKER Cole, if the belts aren't won by the two Enterprise teams, these men are my pick for success! Landon Maddix is the only world champion within the match, and that means something. That means he can handle pressure, he can handle tough situations, and he handle this tag title battle royal. MAGGIE Being accompanied by the perfect ten, Landon's gurrrrl friend, Megan Skye, they are The Urban Legend, Mama Cortez' answer to the nuclear missile, TODD CORTEZ! And his partner....he is internationally known and locally respected, I know you heard about him, he is Mister Money In The Bank, The SWF World Champion, from Huron, South Dakota, by way of Madrid, Spain, he is LANDOOOON MADDDIXXXXX! They are MARTIAAAAAL LAAAAAWWWW! Unlike the nineteen thousand in attendance, Landon heralds his name with great happiness, sinking to his knees and tossing his arms to his side, as tears of joy stream down the contours of his face. His ridiculous show does nothing to endear him to the already disgusted fans, and he's treated to an increase in the volume of their many jeers and taunts. Cortez puts as much distance between himself and his hyper arrogant partner, rushing into the ring to join the numerous combatants. Todd does very little to earn the respect of his opponents, eying each one with a ferocious glare, making no bones about informing them they'll be leaving Los Angeles beltless. COLE Certainly Landon Maddix has great experience in battle royals, winning two SWF Clusterfucks and the Money In The Bank Battle Royal at Anglemania. However, one wonders how his partner will fare in this situation. In a scene reminiscent of 98 Chris Jericho, Landon preens and primps his way across the ring apron in an elaborate goose step. Again his outrageous performance gain him no fans with the audience, and even his fellow wrestlers call into question his unmatched arrogance. When Maddix reaches the center of the apron, his arms head towards the sky forming a one man testament to his supposed excellence. Hatred pours all around him, but judging by the mile wide smile on his face, it's apparent Maddix neither realizes nor cares he may be the least popular man in the contest. Once Los Angeles realizes the only team left to make it's entrance is it's hometown heroines, screams of anticipation that are enough to send shivers down spines millions of miles away, fill the Staples Center. Thunderous chants of “C-O-D! C-O-D!” build into a mighty roar from the fans who impatiently cry for the long awaited arrival of the treasured pair.Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! The bouncy sass of Avril Lavigne's hit song cause the cheers to enlarge exponentially in volume, nearly drowning out the aggressive pop vocals. A beautiful red pyro fountain erupts from the entrance stage to embrace the embers of a glamorous pink pink pyro waterfall that seeps from the ceiling. Within moments those docile pyrotechnics are shattered at the hands of a booming gold explosion that engulfs the entire stage. Through the smoky haze stands an image that sends the fans into a euphoric frenzy, that of Krista Isadora Duncan, striking a pose of alluring dominance, with one hand on her hip, and her head cocked to the side in dismissive arrogance. Her lean and chiseled fitness queen body lies behind a pink Dom Rebel t-shirt that reads “FUCK PINK”, and a slinky open sided micro skit, that reveals the crowd pleasing sight of her entire left leg. The decibel level climbs even higher, when Alix skips from the entrance doors. Bedecked in a saucy white tie-up front tube top that's cropped all the way to the chest,white booty shorts., and faux fur covered boots and wrist bands, Ally charts a path across the stage, rocking her body to and fro, matching the immense excitement of the raucous spectators."C-O-D! C-O-D!" MONEYMAKER (screaming over the fans) Why? Why would I make this match here tonight? Shouldn't they have a hometown advantage? No! They've only lost three matches as a team, and two of those matches came right here in their home city. They choke, Michael Cole. They can't handle the pressure of being watched by friends, family, hangers on, agents, publicists, managers, personal assistants, hair stylists, makeup arists, whoever they've got here. They fail, they flunk, and I guarantee new tag team champions. I took Jade away from them, and I can take their tag titles away from them in front of their own people, without even stepping in the ring. I have that kind of power. Unlike most of time, where Krista has to corral Alix for an embrace, the bubbly brunette dips her body into Krista's waiting arms. In an airily romantic manner, Alix throws her body backwards, and a sultry kiss is tossed towards the camera, leading super imposed red lips to shoot on screen."C-O-D! C-O-D!" MAGGIE And, finally, the team you've all been waiting for, the champions! First, she's hot, she's tall, she's blond, she's rich, she's a best selling author, she founded her own line of top selling fitness videos, she's famous, she's smart, but sorry, guys, she's a lesbian, she is Miss California, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! And her partnaaah.....her cookies make Betty Crocker's taste like the dog crap scrapped off of the bottom of your shoe, she is the CEO of Miss Spezia's Sweeties, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! America may think they're it's sweethearts, but California, they were your's first, SO MAKE SOME NOISE FOR CHICKS OVER DICKS! The fans, every one of them on their feet, explode with that final announcement, tearing the roof off the arena. The only thing that could make them pop louder is a “and still oaoast world tag team champions...” proclamation at the end of the contest. Alix gingerly skips down the ramp, waving like a beauty queen towards the legion of adoring fans. Even Krista, normally so averse to fan interaction, musters some kindness in the comfort of her own home. When she eyes an unbelievably obese woman in a shirt that reads “KRISTA'S FUTURE WIFE”, she pushes aside her “No fat chicks” rule, and leaves red lip mark on the woman's cheek with a kiss. Satisfied that she's done her good deed for her lifetime, she dives into the squared circle, immediately staring daggers at the sizable Enterprise contingent. Ally joins her shortly thereafter, meaning every team involved in the contest is in the ring. COLE Can you believe that reaction? Almost as big as what I got when I came out here before the show. I noticed The Enterprise guys, and their entrances weren't even televised, didn't get a whole lot of noise. It was pretty quiet actually, if I remember right. MONEYMAKER You think your funny, Michael Cole.. Just remember who I am and what I can do to you. I place one call into the president of this network, and you're off the show and flipping big macs in east hell. Remember that. And remember this, the fans mean nothing. They aren't in the ring. The Enterprise is. Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez are to. Los Conquistadors, and The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, they're in there also. And those two teams....they have certain orders as to who they need to eliminate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 DING DING DING The second the bell rings, The Love Doctors inexplicably charge the Beverly Hills Blonds. While everyone else converges on one another, the camera focuses on the battle between the Medical professionals and the former Midnight Express. Simon subdues Max with an eye rake, which allows him to join Ned in double teaming Pigley. The duo stride forward and paste the man with a lariat. He staggers backwards into the ropes, but doesn't go over them, instead tangling himself within their web. But he doesn't stay in that position for long as Vinny Santana sneaks towards him, grabs onto his ankles and dumps him head over heels out of this contest! "YEAAAAA!" scream the fans, happy to see South Central Militia's early success COLE We have our first elimination!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Love Doctors LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: The South Central Militia LEFT IN RING:14 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Militia and The Blonds brief alliance disintegrates, as the two parties begin hammering each other with wild punches. Directly to their left stands Jock Mulligan, trying to fend off both members of NRG. His partner resides in a far corner, decimating Mariachi of Los Diablos De Fuego with knife edge chops. When he's through with his chopping routine, Baron backs towards the center of the ring to build up speed for a running attack. The Slinger then charges forward to flatten Mariachi with an avalanche. But the flamboyant luchadore's partner interferes with that plan, when he leaps onto the cowboy's shoulders for a hurricanrana! But Baron counters this hold with an earth shaking powerbomb! He tosses his hands into the air in triumph, but this moment of distraction permits CPA to latch onto his white trunks and hurl him over the cables. Thankfully for his team, he's able to land with his back on the ring apron. He rolls back into the ring, but is immediately pummeled by stomps from The Enterprise's debt collector. Christian Wright frantically attempts to dead lift Logan Mann out of this match, but the rock n wrestling superstar holds onto the cables for dear life. Mann is granted a bit of help, when his partner Synth Eszier begins rifling clubbing forearms into Wright's back. Logan frees himself from the cables and joins The Synthmesiter in hooking The Natural into a front facelock. They lift him into a double suplex position, intending to simply toss him from the ring. Unfortunately, Wright shatters their dreams by taking them down with a double ddt! MONEYMAKER That is my friend, my comrade, and my boy. His victories are my victories, his defeats...are non existent. The Enterprise does not lose. Moneymaker's kudos may have come to soon for Wright, as Krista tries to knock his head off with a yakuza kick. He dives bellow her incoming missile, but can offer no avoidance for Alix's springboard enziguri! The girls celebrate with Alix jamming on the air guitar and Krista gruffly reminding her to focus. “C-O-D! C-O-D!” their hometown fans roar The joyful fans may soon be in a state of mourning, as EMT Tim's charging body seeks to blast Los Angeles' favorite daughters straight out this contest. But the girls avoid such a fate, by catching the Rescue 911 member with a hiptoss. His legs land onto the ropes, causing his entire body to be returned to the canvas in standing position Confused by this nauseating trip, he's totally unable to stop Ally and Krista from dropkicking him over the cables. The fans emit a gargantuan ovation that quickly degenerates into boos when they witness Tim land with his boots on the apron. His landing isn't much of a problem to Miss California, who simply surges forward and spears him from his perch! Cash's muscular frame departs the apron, and collides with the steel barricade, and The Staples Center crowd reacts as though the Lakers just won the championship.“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!”~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RESCUE 911 LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: CHICKS OVER DICKS LEFT IN RING: 13 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MONEYMAKER BWAHAHAHA! First the Love Doctors then those morons. It's a bad night to be in the field of medicine. Shoulda gone to law school. You ever sue anyone, Cole? COLE I can't say that I have. MONEYMAKER You should. It's good for the soul. It's liberating. Makes me feel like a true American, which I am. The truest of them all, I say. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm suing for. I just make up charges, and it sticks in the court of law. My lawsuits are twenty percent bullshit, and one hundred percent winners. This is America, Cole, and I love it! The Militia and The Blonds continue to trade blows, while Rico of the Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew tries rid the ring of Flex Phillips' presence. In the nearby corner, Scotty Static unleashes a bevy chops onto the chest of Todd Cortez. Witnessing his partners' dire condition, Landon Maddix weaves his way through the glut of bodies in order to assault Todd's assailant with a round of clubbing forearms. Together he and The Urban Legend brutalize the former tag champ with a deadly array of kicks and stomps. Thanks to their attention being held captive by the task of decimating Static, they fail to notice Lucius Soul working his way up the turnbuckle. But a sudden murmur of anticipation from The Staples Center fans causes Cortez and Maddix to realize something is amiss. But before they can comprehend what the problem is, it's crashing into them and Scotty with a moonsault press! COLE The smooth Soul brother wiping out four people! MONEYMAKER Perhaps he should consider wiping them out of the ring? All in due time, Theodore. All in due time. For now, Lucius must perform the honorable art of moonwalking. But given that only two teams have been eliminated there isn't much space for moonwalking, and so Soul eventually backs himself into Jock Mulligan, who smokes him with a neckbreaker. Leaving Soul to nurse his sore neck, The Texas Twister retreats to the ropes to assist his drinking buddy, Logan Mann in removing CPA from the squared circle. They both get a solid grip on the monster's legs, but can accomplish no more then that, as the lumbering giant swats them away like house flies. But, Mann isn't deterred by CPA's brute strength, and quickly resumes the task of working to eliminate the ogre. But that brute strength proves to be an impassable obstacle, and CPA squashes Logan's efforts by clamping his hands around his neck. Into the air Mann goes, as Allen readies the rockstar's body to be choke slammed out of the ring. The audience urges Synth Esizer to save his partner, but his path is blocked by a swarm of punches from Moracca. Fortunately Jock comes to Logan's aid, diving low and chop blocking Moneymaker's personal hired muscle. The beast lets out a terrible roar, as his fingers detach themselves from Mann's neck. The Heavenly Rocker puts his new found freedom to good use and pummels his rival with a Percussion DDT! As the audience cheers for appearance of the finishing move, Mann and Mulligan trade high fives for their excellent team work. MONEYMAKER What is this manner of goody two shoes nonsense? Do these idiots not even realize the essence of all battle royals? Every man for himself! In this case every team, but they're ruining the spirit! That's not American. Rico crashes the Rocker/Gunslinger party by clubbing Logan down to the canvas with a polish hammer. Watching his friend crumble to a heap sets off a blaze of fury in Jock's heart, and leads him to direct a firestorm of punches towards Rico's porn stache! Unable to stave off the torrent of blows, The Brazilian calls for help. His cries are answered by his wingman Lucius Soul who bulldogs The Texas Twister away from his mentor. Synth Esizer spots the trouble his comrades are in, and fights past Moracca to lend them assistance. He exchanges jabs with The Wrecking Crew, but it doesn't take long before their numbers advantage overwhelms him. However, he's given help from Logan Mann who subdues Soul with a waistlock. But Mann's efforts are wasted, as the New Orleans native frees himself with a mule kick! Soul is kept on the defense, however, by Baron Windells charging towards him with a big boot! The afroed fighter ducks the approaching attack, and Baron's enormous shoe collides directly with the face of Logan Mann! Not expecting the lethal strike, Mann is unable to brace himself for the impact, and the force of the attack propels him over the ropes and to ringside mats! The fans are distraught by the stunning elimination, and Windels can scarcely believe his eyes. He apologizes profusely to Logan, but Mann can hear nothing past Holly's yelps of “Are you okay?” and his own agonizing headache. “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” the fans chant. COLE The Heavenly Rockers are out at number three! I can't believe it!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: The Lonestar Gunslingers LEFT IN RING: 12 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MONEYMAKER A shocking, and well deserved elimination. Logan Mann can't even muster up the courage to defend his wife from the advances of Rico, he has to depend on team Brokeback Mountain to do his work for him. And, now that same team eliminates him from the match. Life is good! Unless you're Logan Mann or Synth Esizer. While Mariachi and Biff Atlas do battle in the corner, Charlie Moss pounds away at Ned Blanchard with stiff kicks, weakening him enough to begin pushing him over the ropes. But the savvy Blanchard avoids elimination by rolling beneath the bottom cable. He stays in that sprawled out position on the ring apron in order to reclaim his lost breath. Problem is, his foe isn't willing to grant him the much needed time out. Thus Moss slingshots himself over the top rope, and to the delight of thousands, drills his wrestling boots into the Handsome Hustler's face with a gruesome double stomp! As Ned screams in bleak agony, a charging Simon Singleton seeks to eject the apron based Moss from his nest. But Charlie is one step ahead of the Video Voyeur and springboards into the ring to annihilate him with a lariat! The pair go tumbling backwards dragging the nearby brawling couple of Dos and Landon Maddix down with them! The catastrophic collision is all the SWF World Champion needs to decide he's had enough of this particular battle royal, and The Money In The Bank winner begins to roll towards the safety of the outside. Unfortunately he's halted by a sudden downpour of punches from archrival, Johnny Jackson! MONEYMAKER Talk about a team that's fallen off hard. GPX are also rans, has beens, the tag division left them behind two years ago. But if they had my money, and my drive, I could turn them into worldbeaters. Elsewhere, Christian Wright darts towards Alix Spezia with arm outstretched for a lariat. Yet, she evades his strike by leaping behind him, and collaring her arm around his neck. The Natural is cursed with a nauseating 360 whirl, before her tornado inverted DDT punishes his cranium against the canvas. Her home city reacts with an outpouring of excitement and jubilation, but there's little time for Alix to bask in their support, as One Eye Wallace is closing in on her. But Ally overtakes her fellow Los Angelino with a spinning back kick, that leaves him dazed and bleeding. The Hollywood Bad Girl then takes hold of his arm and whips him through a small outcropping of space towards the cables. Upon his return Wallace attempts to take out her legs with a baseball slide! Ally Cat avoids the sneaky tactic, leaping over Marcellus' full six feet and three inches, and carrying herself to the cables. Her return sees her bull towards Wallace, head lowered, and nostrils flaring. Rather then have her impale his testicles, he leapfrogs the perky diva and lets her continue traveling the ropes. As she nears him once more, One Eye falls onto his back, telegraphing a possible monkey flip! Ally Cat decides to show off for her fellow Californians, using a picturesque frontward flip to sail over his curled up frame! She uncoils behind Todd Cortez , who's too busy trading elbows with Quentin Benjamin to notice her emerging behind him. He's made aware of Alix's presence when she turns his organs inside out with a lung blower! No sooner then two seconds after Cortez is defeated, does Quentin Benjamin fall to the True Life:I just got beat up by a girl(STO)! In response to her besting of three people, the audience showers her with a geyser of cheers and applause. "If you ain't got no money, take yo broke ass home!" she screams to no one in particular.ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! After a flurry of kicks and chops, Mariachi manages to wear Biff Atlas down to the point where the exhausted bodybuilder can do nothing but sink to his butt, and lean his weary bones against the turnbuckle pad. The flamboyant superstar then does what any right thinking homosexual luchadore would do with his foe in that particular position, he attempts the Bronco Buster. As he backs away from Biff, Mariachi notices a glut bodies lies before him. But that brings him no worries for not even Patton's army could keep him from driving his testicles into the handsome brawler's face. Unfortunately, a diving shoulder tackle from Flex Phillips can, and it can also launch the Mexican through the ring ropes and to the outside mats. The nearby officials are quick to note that this does not count as an elimination, but that fact doesn't stop Phillips from flexing his HGH enhanced muscles. MONEYMAKER Biff Atlas is from Venice Beach, his parents and his siblings have come down to this arena to watch their youngest child, win a tag team title, and that disgraceful piece of filth Marinara tries to ruin it by rubbing his crotch in the man's face. COLE It's Mariachi, you said Marinara. MONEYMAKER Who gives a damn? They're half Mexican, half queer, and all stupidity. Moracca tries to capitalize on Phillips' vanity by hurling the self absorbed bodybuilder from the squared circle. But Biff repays Flex's previous favor, and spears the Cabo San Lucas native to the mat just seconds before he could get his claws on his partner. The members of the Atlas family in attendance tonight pay tribute to their kin with a round of applause. But all is not coming up roses for NRG, as the members of The Global Party Xchange try their hand at bundling Phillips out of this contest. But a right hook from Flex slams into Johnny's head, seconds before a left hand nearly slices Scotty's head off his neck. Quickly, Flex drags his carcass away from the ring ropes and darts towards a stunned Static. But Scotty recovers just in time to lob a discus punch towards his foe. But Flex swings away from it, and move his body towards Scotty's in order to lock him down with a full nelson! Static tries to worm his way free of the hold, but his efforts are for naught as Phillips compresses his spine with a full nelson atomic drop! Jackson is then the recipient of diving lariat, effectively pushing GPX's chances of eliminating Flex to the wayside. One person who's luck is faring a bit better then GPX's is Conquistador Uno, who has miraculously managed to topple Krista over the ropes. Under assault by a succession of glitter soaked gold boots, a panic stricken Miss California clutches onto the ring ropes, as the audience prays to whatever religious deity they can think of that she'll be able to wade through these troubling waters.”LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” MONEYMAKER This it, Cole, prepare yourself to witness the crowning of new champions. This is what Los Conquistadors are here to do, eliminate Chicks Over Dicks! Despite being immigrants, Los Conquistadors have never failed The Enterprise before! COLE Immigrants? They're from New Mexico! You've employed them for five months, how do you not know that? Using his lanky arms to his advantage, Uno reaches through the ropes and hauls the dizzied champion to her feet. The audience openly wonders why Uno would rob himself of such an advantageous position. Their question is answered when they eye Dos crawling up the turnbuckles, ready to sacrifice his chance become a champion, in order to rob Krista's status as one. “Chinga tu madre!” He screams to the thousands of fans still rooting on the hometown heroine. Dos departs his perch and laces his black clad legs around Krissy's neck. However, his planned hurricanrana goes horribly awry when Krissy attaches her arms around his skinny legs and refuses to go down! The Staples Center crowd blares their approval for Krissy's resilience, as a shocked Uno makes moves to correct the problem she's caused. But whatever was his solution was to the vexing issue, will remain permanently locked in his mind, as Alix uses his back as a launching pad to propel herself towards Dos with a thrust kick! The New Mexico native shields his targeted face with his gloved hands, but can do nothing to prevent Krista from power bombing him towards the mats! As camera flashes litter the air, the defeated luchadore's body splatters about the canvas to the total disgust of Moneymaker and Mackenzie DeCenzo! The fans are beside themselves with glee, celebrating as though a simple elimination of Uno and Dos was enough to secure the tag titles. "THIS SHIT IS BANANAS. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" Ally yells, borrowing from yesteryears catchphrases. MONEYMAKER What in the sam hill is going on here? It's not supposed to happen this way! The Moneymakers do not no disappointment!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOS CONQUISTADORS LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: CHICKS OVER DICKS LEFT IN RING: 11 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mackenzie's shouts of “Someone do something!” resonate within the mind of HI-YAH tag champ Lucius Soul. He darts through the maze of flesh, in order to undertake Los Conquistadors failed task of eliminating Chicks Over Dicks. When he nears the champions, he mimics Alix's prior movements, mounting his feet onto the cursive Uno written on the back of luchadore's costume. Like Alix, the smooth soul brother uses Uno's body to project him towards the apron based Krista. But rather then utilize a dropkick as Ally did, Soul situates himself atop the third cable in hopes that he can easily swat the blond goddess off. But these hopes go down in multicolored flames as Krista elevates herself next to Lucius' on the third cable. Not expecting her sudden change in location, Soul is left as a sitting duck on his orange tight rope. Krista capitalizes on his shocked state, by leaping into the ring, and as she sails past Soul she extends her legs behind her, causing her New Balance tennis shoes to impact perfectly on his back! The HI-YAH tag team champion is thrown from his ledge and into the unwitting arms of beleaguered Dos. A deafening ovation bounds from every inch of the arena, as Krista gracefully bows before her friends and family.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREW LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: CHICKS OVER DICKS LEFT IN THE RING: 10 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ”C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” chant their nineteen thousand friends and family. COLE There goes the HI-YAH tag team champions! They had an opportunity to hold both the HI-YAH titles and the OAOAST tag titles, but Soul got too cute and too fancy and his team paid the price for it. A rookie mistake from a talented, but very young wrestler. Cole seems more perturbed about The Wrecking Crew's elimination then Rico, who quickly makes good use of his free time, marching towards the eighteen year old Maggie, and laying down that smooth Brazilian charm. For his part, Soul appears more worried about the health of his afro then his sudden ejection from the contest. Elsewhere it appears we're headed for another elimination, as SWF world champion Landon Maddix tosses Baron Windells over the ropes. Baron lands with his feet firmly entrenched on the ring apron, but this supposedly excellent footing evaporates the second Dinero Del Señor En El Banco slams a running shoulder block into his rival. The tremendous impact of the charge slings the sexy cowboy so far off the ring apron, this his fetching body lands impaled on the guardrail. Mister Money In The Bank begins to celebrate the sixth elimination of the contest. However his parade is rained on by the words of Billy Silverman, that inform him, and the nearby Melody Nerdly, that Baron is still in the match, because his feet have yet to touch the floor. “Don't worry Baron, I'll save you! I'm from the Internet!” Melody nonsensically screams as she rummages beneath the ring for god knows what. After much examining what lies bellow the battleground, the geeky Canadian unearths a lengthy ladder. The dangerous object generates quite the pop from the highspot hungry Californians. But the tool won't be utilized to facilitate any body splashes or moonsaults through tables tonight, as crafty Melody uses it as a bridge from the guard rail to the ring, to allow Baron passage into the contest. COLE That...was actually pretty smart on Melody's part. After nodding thanks to his helpful valet, Windels begins trekking across the makeshift platform. When he reaches the ring apron, he's intercepted by an enraged Maddix who pounds him with forearms. Baron raises his body past the cascade of the strikes, and valiantly fights against the SWF world champion. Eventually, Windels is able to overpower his smaller foe, and this victory allows him to trap Maddix into a front facelock. Despite trashing his against the grip, Maddix cannot prevent Baron from hauling him into the skies. All he can do is scream in terror, as Baron's vertical suplex lacerates his back through the ladder! “OOOOOOOOH!” go the audience in sympathy pain. “Baron Windells number one in ya hood, G!” Melody hollers, as Landon writhes in agony. MONEYMAKER If the man had any smarts, which he so obviously does not, he would've moved Maddix to the left and suplexed him onto the floor, and got an elimination. While ringside officials attend to an injured Maddix, America's Team makes it their personal mission to end CPA's participation within the contest. But like the previous men who've tried to chop down the Redwood, their efforts yield only failure; the big man hoists Moss into sky in a gorilla press slam position. He ambles towards the ropes, ready to throw the amateur wrestler into the fourth row. But Benjamin prolongs his team's pratcipation, by slamming a basement dropkick into the knees of CPA! The strike requires the howling monster to let Moss go free, and when the grappler lands on his feet he pitches CPA towards whatever superstar is willing to deal with him. It's Jock Mulligan who steps up to the plate and knocks CPA out of the park (but not the ring) with a Bandit Kick! The America's Team/Gunslinger confederation ends shortly thereafter as Moss and Benjamin begin terrorizing the hunky Texan. Unmoved by their numbers advantage, Jock strikes down Moss, then throws a discus lariat towards Benjamin. But QB lowers his shoulder and sends Jock toppling over the ropes! COLE Jock could be done here! The women in the audience scream with glee when they watch the sexy stud muffin land with both feet on the apron. Moss moves to eradicate the resilient Mulligan, but is countered by a shoulder block. The shot reduces Moss to a whimpering mess stretched between the second and third ropes. Jock takes the opportunity Moss' ill health has afforded him and ambles to the turnbuckles. He then charges forward, and beautifully implants his padded knee into the skull of the Minnesota native! Melody once again celebrates her teams' showing in the most unusual way, dancing around, waving a pokemon card into the air and singing “My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like, you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard!” Elsewhere, the “epic” struggle between Los Diablos De Fuego and NRG continues; Biff “Shampoo” Atlas and Moracca exchange colossal blows in the corner. Thanks to his incredible strength advantage, Shampoo is able to overpower the queer luchadore with a succession of right hooks. This conquest allows the hair fetishest to hook Moracca into a front facelock and situate him atop the highest turnbuckle. Biff joins his foe on the posts, ready to blast him with a suplex. But Moracca stages an admirable rebellion against the bodybuilder, slamming punches into his midsection. However, Biff's sheer power is again too much for Moracca to handle, and he's raised into the standing position for the superplex! But Vinny Santana and Scotty Static team up to shock both grapplers, when they sneak behind their position and give them one mighty shove off the ringposts! As the fans gasp in amazement, the pair nose dives off the turnbuckles, not stopping until their bodies are plastered across the ring mats! “SOUTH CENTRAL LOS ANGELES, MOTHER FUCKERS, IT AIN'T SAFE TO LEAVE YA HOUSE ROUD HERE!” Vincent proclaims to the great ecstasy of those audience members who hail from that section of Los Angeles.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Los Diablos De Fuego LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA & GPX LEFT IN THE RING: 9 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NRG LEFT:7th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA & GPX LEFT IN THE RING: 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Your boys Los Diablos are out of here, Moneymaker. MONEYMAKER My...my...my what? I wouldn't even let them clean my pool! They look like the guys working drive through at Taco Bell. While the officials escorted the befuddled Moracca and Biff Atlas to the backstage area, the action in the ring continues at a breakneck pace! Christian Wright and Todd Cortez trade punches, but with a nickname like “The Urban Legend” it's not much of a surprise when Mister Cortez gains the upper hand. With The Natural dazed and confused, Todd seeks to disable him with the Twist of Fate neckbreaker. But Wright makes sure no such move will occur when he shoves The Urban Legend into the ropes. However Cortez's body isn't deposited into the cables, rather it's caught by Wright's Enterprise mate, Simon Singleton, who lobs the superstar over the top rope with a back body drop! But, Cortez miraculously succeeds in landing with a hand attached to the ring apron. He quickly pushes himself back into the squared circle before the bloodthirsty Enterprise hounds can seize upon him. As he renters the match, he tosses a pair of jabs towards Singleton, then turns his attention to Wright with several knees to the gut. But Simon returns to the fracas, and overpowers Cortez with a round of elbow strikes. Feeling that TC has been sufficiently weakened, Simon prepares him for a DDT. But Todd isn't nearly as decrepit as Singleton led himself to believe, and he's exposed to this horrible fact, when Cortez breaks away from his grap, and launches him through the skies with a slingshot! Simon's screaming and hollering body collides with the two hundred twenty five pound brick wall known as Christian Wright, and Moneymaker's lackeys tumble to the canvas a vanquished duo. Elsewhere, Scotty Static aims a top rope crossbody block at Craig Patrick Allen, who's busy fighting off Quentin Benjamin. Unfortunately, bruiser's six feet and six inches afford him the ability to look past Benjamin and eye down Static's descending frame. Shoving aside QB as if he were nothing more then a common fruit fly, CPA steps forward to catch Static into his arms. He shifts the Hooligan's body across his chest, so that it lays face up along his shoulders. CPA then decimates his smaller foe, by pulverizing him with his finisher, The Dominator! However, his work isn't complete with the destruction of the two time tag team champion, as America's Team soars at him like guided missiles with a pair of shoulder blocks! CPA remains upright, however, offering little more reaction then an annoyed grunt. Not dissuaded by their flop, the duo retry their shoulder blocks. Once again they scarcely make a dent in the beast's armor, unable to move him a single inch. MONEYMAKER All throughout the contest, these peons, these second rate mental midgets, have tried to double my man out of this match. But, they've failed! They all failed, and they'll continue to fail, because The Enterprise is a force that can not be stopped. The former collegiate athletes decide to give it the ol college try one more time, and bounce of the ropes to blast Allen with a double lariat. But the burly pugilist has grown weary of being their personal tackling dummy, and terminates their efforts with a swipe of his left hand! The former team Heyross is left dazed, and through a quickly played game of eeny-meeny-miny-mo, CPA chooses to target Moss for elimination. And so young Charles is heaved over the top rope like a rag doll. MONEYMAKER (excitedly) Moss is..... Landing on the ring apron, much to Moneymaker's chagrin. Unfortunately for him, CPA ventures to his location to fulfill his boss' wishes of an America's Team elimination. But Moss cages the incoming beast with a front facelock. Despite being a strapping young athlete, Charlie is incapable of lifting CPA's massive poundage into the air for a vertical suplex Thus, Benjamin is required to lend his assistance, grabbing onto Allen's ankles and trying to heave him out of the ring. For all their grunting, sweating, and general hardwork, the duo get nowhere as Ned watches on in the background ,a devious grin taking hold of his face. The Handsome Hustler feigns contemplation over turning on his Enterprise partner to assist in his elimination. He eventually takes the predictable path, moseying on over to Moss and casually shoving him off the apron and out of this contest! “BOOOOOOOO!” MONEYMAKER (singing) God bless America, glorious and free, proud with my trumpet.... COLE I don't think those are the lyrics to that song MONEYMAKER The lyrics are whatever the hell I say they are! Don't you ever talk over me again. It may very well get violent out here if you try that again.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ America's Team LEFT:8th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS LEFT IN THE RING: 7 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Benjamin and Moss have to be restrained by the officials from returning towards the ring to wage war on the smirking Enterprise members. The crowd feeds ofF the anger of America's Team and begins to jeer violently, hateful music that's only a delight to the ears of Ned and Christopher Patrick Allen. MONEYMAKER Bwahahaah! That's only a preview of the fate that awaits America's Team when The Enterprise faces them for the six man titles. With space seemingly cleared by the minute (or by the paragraph), muscular bodies like that of One Eye Wallace are able to move more freely in order to wreak their personalized brand of havoc. And wreak havoc he does, as he throws Landon Maddix into the ring posts. The thuggish grappler then tries to squash La Cucaracha with a body splash. However Maddix yanks his figure away from Marcellus' trajectory, leaving the man to collide with steel posts. Normally, Landon “the king of battle royals” Maddix would take advantage of Wallace's groggy state to dump him out of the ring. But he's unable to do such a thing, thanks to Jock Mulligan zeroing in on him with an avalanche! Maddix quickly skirts aside, and Mulligan's figure slams into One-Eye as a result! The sudden jolt seems to shake Wallace from his stupor, and place him into a status of blood-red rage. Acting on this sizable anger, he mows Mulligan down with a lariat! Landon isn't spared from Wallace's wrath, either, and is dropped with a high knee lift. One Eye's work isn't finished yet, as Johnny Jackson begins peppering him with right hands. Soon the two warriors have locked themselves into all out slug fest, wildly tussling against the cables. “S-C-M! S-C-M!” the South Central contingent chant, marking the first (and probably only) time you'll ever hear an SCM chant. Ever the crafty one, Maddix uses their little scuffle to his advantage, and with the aid of Todd Cortez lifts the pair up and over the ring cables! But the two men manage to grab hold of the ropes, stunning the fans who thought their time in this contest was at an end. Jackson and Wallace drag themselves back onto the apron. However, they completely ignore the team that just tried to eliminate them and instead return to the task of hammering each other with crazed haymakers. Insulted at the slight from the grapplers, Landon is all like “wtf todd? Let's smoke these bitches.” Well, maybe those weren't his exact words. But whatever was his real scheme was will forever remain a mystery, thanks to Jock Mulligan hitting he and his partner with a double bulldog! Abandoning the battered carcasses of Maddix and Cortez, The Texas Twister heads into battle with Jackson and Wallace. One Eye takes the intelligent, yet cowardly, road and drops to the mat to preserve his safety. This narrows the brawl down to Mulligan and Johnny Jackson. But Johnny is no match for the raw punching power of the Lone Star hunk, and with one resounding thrust of his arm, Mulligan takes Jackson out of the contest with a simple punch! The audience doesn't know what to thing, upset that an oaoast favorite was eliminated, but pleased to see the Gunslingers continue their meteoric rise through the tag division. GPX isn't as nearly as indecisive as the audience, and show great sportsmanship by congratulating The Gunslingers, and wishing them good luck for the rest of the bout.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GPX LEFT:9th ELIMINATED: NRG, LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO ELIMINATED BY: THE LONESTAR GUNSLINGERS LEFT IN RING: 6 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MONEYMAKER Can you say uhhh uhhh naaa naaa? No, but I can say get the hell out of my match, you just got eliminated! BWWAHAAHAHA! Melody isn't shy about expressing her joy for her squad's showing in the contest, “Hey, Jock! Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base Are belong to you !” MONEYMAKER God must have fouled up when he was assigning personalities in heaven. Somewhere I believe there's a pasty white, morbidly obese shut in walking around with a Tyra Banks-esque personality. If you are the owner of this personality, please return to it to Melody at once. BWAHAHAHAH! COLE Why do you have to laugh at everything you say? MONEYMAKER Because everything I say is worth it's weight in gold, wisdom, comedy and genius. COLE Truly. Fans, HeldDOWN returns after we collect some of that sweet ad revenue! Don't go away!COMMERCIAL BREAK! When we return from break, we witness Vinny Santana making a crazed towards Alix. But to the audience's enormous glee, Ally disposes of him with her famous dropsault. She tosses in an agile twist to her trademark move, and lands perfectly on her feet. Beaming with joy, she blows kisses to the cheering audience, unaware of the sly Ned Blanchard sneaking behind her. Rather then attempt an opportune elimination, as one might expect, The Ned Man instead chooses to satisfy his yearning libido. He draws the extreme outrage (and jealously) of the capacity crowd, by clasping his hands around her enormous milk jugs. He vigorously jiggles her enormous jugs, while his mouth emits groans of orgasmic ecstasy, and Alix wonders how much she can get in a sexual harassment law suit. "BLANCHARD SUCKS! BLANCHARD SUCKS!" chant the fans, that are hushed down by Mackenzie DeCenzo. MONEYMAKER That's why I respect the hell out of Ned, a true gentlemen. He treats a lady like a lady, and a tramp like a tramp! And even more admirable, he's dedicated his title win to his daughter, who's mind is being poisoned by that liberal thought terrorist, Krista Isadora Duncan. Having had enough of the sexual assault, Alix begins to turn his ten seconds of pleasure into a lifetime of pain, first by elbowing her boobs free of his clutches, and then by rotating her figure into an enziguri! Ned ducks her roving leg, but she manages to land on her feet. She doesn't stay standing for long, though, as Blanchard sweeps her legs away with a double leg takedown. The Ned Man then scurries up to the highest turnbuckle, gleefully preparing to swan dive head first into Ally's flesh pillows. Unfortunately, a big boot from Enterprise mate CPA sends Vinny Santana tumbling into the nearby ropes, crotching Ned on the turnbuckles, and crushing his fantasies of entering Alix's land of milk and silicone. “YEAAAAAAAA!” Astoundingly, Ned has managed to go the entire contest without incurring the vengeance of his child's mother, Krista Isadora Duncan. But stuck atop the turnbuckle, with nothing but an army of hostile brawlers laid in front of him, it appears his luck has run out. Murder in her blue eyes, Krista utilizes the middle ropes to preform a handstand that allows her to wrap her lovely legs around her old flame's head. Normally, this is a position Ned would kill to be in, but in his particular situation he's quite adverse to it, and works to move her into an elevated boston crab. However, he meets with little success as Krissy delights the fans by lifting her flexible body so that it sits squarely on Ned's lap. Ned asks, “And what would you like for Christmas, little girl? Oooh wait. Oooooooh, oooooh, ooooh. Yeah, Santa just grew himself a twelve inch stocking stuffer.” He remarks, through a chuckle. Disgusted, Krista replies by firing her elbow into Blanchard's face, thrilling the now standing fans. Another solid elbow tears through his flesh, causing him to grimace in pain. Gritting his teeth against the impact of the strikes, he lobs carefully measured fists towards her collarbone, while she punds ceaselessly at his sweat stained face.“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” MONEYMAKER This is it! This is what The Enterprise came to do, make sure Chicks Over Dicks loses their titles in their hometown. You try and humiliate The Enterprise, and you go to war with us. And, Cole, just like this great country of ours, The Enterprise never loses a war. COLE Since when are you such a patriot? MONEYMAKER I've always bleed red,white, blue unlike the liberal propagandists here in Hollywood! I eat democracy and crap patriotism! Ned's arms flail out, his left nailing her so hard, it nearly topples her from his lap. Krissy bites down on her lower lip to keep from crying out, while continuing to attack with her eblows elbows. Ned drives his angled fist even deeper into her flesh, as he positions her body towards the edge of the ring ropes. The chance of Miss California's elimination sets off alarm bells in the fans' heads, and they desperately urge her to fight back. But it's Ally who answers the battle call, rescuing her girl by taking her into a back suplex position. She pulls her away from the snarling Ned, who's more upset with not having his hot ex-girlfriend on his lap, then being unable to dispatch her from the contest. The Handsome Hustler raises to his full vertical base, readying to descend upon the champions like an angel of death. But his dream degenerates into a nightmare, as Ally uses Krista's extended legs to bulldoze Ned from his ledge! Joined by the roar of thousands, Blanchard plunges through the arena air! His unmoving body is impaled upon the metal ring steps, before sputtering onto the mats. Shocked by the grosteque nature of his elimination, Mackenzie runs from her director's chair to her shattered charge. Bending over him, she lays her hand against his cheek, trying and failing to gain a response.”YEAAAAAAA!” Smirking contemptuously, an overjoyed Krista, still atop Alix's shoulders, simply waves bye-bye to the obliterated corpse of the reason she's a card carrying member of GLAAD. COLE Ned said, he was going to embarrass Krista, but it looks like she's the one who embarrassed him! Go on homegirl!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Beverly Hills Blonds LEFT:10th ELIMINATED: America's Team ELIMINATED BY: CHICKS OVER DICKS LEFT IN RING: 5 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Los Angeles sings the name of it's adored daughters, ”C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Somewhere bellow the cloudburst of cheers is Krista's airy voice telling Alix, “Put me down! Put me down!” MONEYMAKER Son of a bitch, Michael Cole! Real Americans like Ned and Simon tossed out by a liberal, anti-American lesbian single mother and her anorexic, pill popping pony girl! That's Hollywood for ya. You're a dead man, Michael Cole. COLE What the heck have I done? MONEYMAKER You exist. Aghast with indignation over his associates' removal, Christian Wright darts towards his hated rivals! It's a good thing Alix hasn't followed Krista's orders to set her down, as she's able to use Miss California as a baseball bat to foul away The Natural! Wright, is unrelenting, however, and once again rampages towards the adored champions. Ally finally grants Krista's wish to be set free, but does so in a way most harmful to Wright, chucking Krista at the oncoming grappler. Krissy wraps her legs around his neck and pulls him over for a hurricanrana that enraptures the spectators! Nauseated, Wright brings himself upright, only to be bludgeoned by a wave of punches from Baron Windels! Unable to stage a suitable defense, the overmatched Natural is knocked over the ropes and to the apron. Krista rushes capitalize on Christian's terrible position, but she's tackled to the mat by the man beast, Christopher Patrick Allen! MONEYMAKER That a boy! The Enterprise is as strong as we've ever been! Free from the threat of Krista Isadora Duncan, Wright clamors to his feet. He latches onto the ropes and begins to slingshot himself into the warzone. But just as soon as he moves upright, Jock Mulligan springs forward to horsewhip him with a Bandit Kick! His boot slashes through Wright's face, and the Washington DC native tumbles like a rock towards the mats bellow. The solid flooring jolts him as he splashes into the canvas. He kicks madly back up to his feet, verbose mouth demanding some type of inane redo, as the audience cheers loudly for his defeat.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Christian Wright and Craig Patrick Allen LEFT:11th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: THE LONESTAR GUNSLIGNERS LEFT IN RIGHT: 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “RIIIIDE MEEEEEEE COWWWWBOOOYYYYSSS! YEEEEEEHAAAAAWWW!” screams Melody. So overcome with excitement, she even snags her little sister, Maggie in a preemptive victory hug. Maggie simply makes a face that reads “Please, tell me I'm adopted.” MONEYMAKER Damn it all to hell! The Lonestar Gunslingers don't belong in the same universe as The Enterprise, much less the same match! I feel like making like Alix after dinner, and vomiting. The only good thing about the Gunslingers is that stupid little blond. COLE So we're down to the final four, The Lonestar Gunslingers, The South Central Militia, Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez and the reigning champions, Chicks Over Dicks. MONEYMAKER My hopes and my dreams rest with Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez. Proud countrymen, proud athletes, and proud millionaires if they can get the titles away from those acid tripping dykes. And don't tell me I can't say that! I practically own this network, you won't Imus Theodore Moneymaker! “Damn, ya'll peckerwoods steady stay on ya grind!” Proclaims One Eye Wallace, displaying a platinum toothed smile towards the amped up Gunslingers. MONEYMAKER Translate. COLE “Wow, my friend, you country boys constantly do an admirable job at your chosen vocation.” One Eye and Vinny show further respect to the cowboys by slapping hands, and raising their arms in triumph. Unfortunately the gangsta's soon expose the Texans' naievette, by THROWING THEM OVER THE ROPES the second the make the fatal mistake of turning their backs! Melody shrieks in horror as she watches her team plummet into the abyss of elimination just seconds after tasting the fruit of success. “That is the suck!” She bemoans. “Maggie, this is all your fault!” MAGGIE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Lonestar Gunslingers LEFT:12th EIMINATED: The Heavenly Rockers, GPX, Christian Wright & CPA ELIMINATED BY: THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA LEFT IN RING: 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In any other city in the world, the Militia's bit of trickery would see them served with an order of boos, but we're in LA tonight, and all we get is a raucous ovation for the homeboys' fourth elimination. MONEYMAKER Idiots. Everybody. If the remaining three teams were suffering exhaustion from having to outlast thirteen other warriors, it's certainly not evidenced in the way they wage war on one another, each person pairing off with another rival to stage their own private battle. Alix takes Cortez, Vinny and Krista fight, and One-Eye and Maddix slug it out. Landon leaps onto the shoulders of Wallace to hurricanrana him out of the squared circle. Yet it's Landon's who's dipped over the ropes by the Wallace, popping the audience! COLE Landon Maddix is done! Cole's claim came seconds too early, as Landon hooks onto the turnbuckle pads behind him, and utilizes his lower body strength to pull the south central gangsta up with him. Hovering between the ring and the apron, One-Eye frantically fights to free himself from the clutches of Dinero Del Señor En El Banco' . But the fiercer his resistance grows, the stronger Landon's grip becomes, and Maddix eventually succeeds in dumping him to the apron. But that victory costs Landon his hold on Marcellus, and the brawler quickly scuttles into the ring. Landon soon rejoins him and their pair resume their exchange of punches. Maddix wins the exchange by driving his knee into Marcellus' gut. Stunned, One-Eye can do nothing to prevent the South Dakotan lifting him into a fireman's carry position. The worried fans, fear that Maddix is preparing to hurl Wallace over the ropes. But Landon surprises them, by tossing One Eye off his shoulder, and implanting his knee into the man's descending head with theGo 2 Sleep! Wallace somehow stays upright, but the glazed over look on his face makes it obvious that he's under a grand amount of pain. His ill health permits Maddix to stride forward and shove him over the ring cables! But in midfall, the gangsta “awakens” from the Go 2 Sleep just in time to latch onto the middle rope! He painstakingly pulls himself upright, but is met with a flurry of punches from the furious SWF world champion! But One Eye is granted an unexpected assist from Alix Spezia, who rushes to their location and dropkicks Landon over the ring ropes!“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” While Alix is free to soak up the jubilation from her native land, One Eye has to fend off crazed strikes from a man who's desperate to acquire oaoast gold. With only one swipe of his arm, Wallace knocks Landon back into a ringpost. He then grabs the struggling wrestler's throat and presses him into the air, wishing to chokeslam him off the apron. But Todd Cortez saves his partner a trip to the ER by diving across the ring to blast his forearm into the One Eyed monster's one eyed monster! “AHHH SHIT!” Wallace bellows, having the good sense to fall into the ring to attend to his considerable anguish. Without warning, Vincent Santana surges through Cortez, skewering him with a spear. An instant latter, Vinny's fists snap forward like the jaws of a trap. Diamond ring covered fingers pierce Cortez's face, slamming the back of his head against the ring. However the savage strikes meet an abrupt finale, when Krista pulls Vincent away by the strands of his dirty blond hair. Cussing and screaming, Vinny tries to tear himself free of the woman's vicious pinions Unfortunately his efforts are wasted, as the fitness queen pumps a right hand into his chin. A left darts along his cheek, followed by right that explodes upon his left eye. Left nearly blind, Vincent Santana stumbles back and forth with the grace of a town drunk. With her foe conquered by misery and dizziness, Krissy takes time out to admire her unmatched beauty. She removes a compact mirror from her top, then flips it open to gaze upon her traffic stopping looks. Finally, she plants a kiss onto her angelic reflection, then chucks the mirror into the stands where the frenzied audience battles for ownership of the priceless souvenir. Miss California then refocuses her attention on Vincent and drives him to the canvas with a leg lariat! While he squirms in anguish, his enemy carts herself to the ropes. But instead of charging back like usual, Krista decides to treat her home fans to a scintillating dance show, and salsa dances towards him. Her curvaceous hips gyrate in steamy allurement, while her arms wiggle through a pattern of mesmerizing euphoria. Unfortunately for Vincent, he's the only one in the audience who doesn't enjoy the exhibition, as it ends with the point of Krista's knee is driven into his forehead! MONEYMAKER Sexy moves, indeed. Ones she no doubt learned grinding the pole at Big Louie's Titty City. How do you think she put herself through grad school? Maybe you should ask Ned the real story on how they met! The chants of “KRISTA! KIRSTA!” scarcely leave the lips of the capacity crowd before Todd Cortez grabs hold of their beloved child's luscious blond locks and flings her over the ropes! The audience reacts in total shock and terror, deathly certain that they've witnessed the end of COD's title regin. But Krista alleviates their fears by skinning the cat back into the squared circle. Yet, no one's able to breathe any sigh of relief as One Eye Wallace is angling to finish her off with a running boot! Krissy sweeps bellow the incoming missile, and Wallace finds himself caught on the ring ropes, suddenly in grave danger. Landon Maddix realizes the perilousness of Marcellus' position and rushes towards him to abolish him from the ring. Wallace tries to intercept his charge with a wave of his fist, but the simple counter can do nothing to prevent Landon from jettisoning him to the floor!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The South Central Militia LEFT:13h EIMINATED: The Love Doctors, Los Diablos De Fuego, NRG, The Lonestar Gunslingers ELIMINATED BY: MARTIAL LAW LEFT IN RING: 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “BOOOOOOOO” groan the fans, both out of anger to see The Militia eliminated, and out of anger in seeing Maddix one step closer to tag team gold. “Thank you, thank you! No applause!” Maddix remarks , even forcing a solitary tear of joy to trickle down his cheek. The jeers of the fans eventually transform into a round of appreciative applause for the South Central Militia's efforts in the contest. Of course the always self centered Maddix thinks this showing of support is for him, and comments. “I said no applause, damn it!” MONEYMAKER And so here we are, Cole, with Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez seconds away from an inevitable title victory. How very fitting and appropriate that the title change will occur in the land of stars, because Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez may be the biggest stars in the oaoast, outside of The Enterprise, of course. While Theodore may be ready to break out the champagne, his predicted champions still have the pesky matter of vanquishing the current title holders, who have an entire state firmly on their side. Cortez, as usual, is far more proactive then his partner, and seizes Ally's wrist to toss her towards the corner. He charges after her, assuming he'll be able to lariat her over the ropes. Unfortunately, this won't be the case, as The Hollywood Bad Girl latches onto the top ropes and flings her body into air. The second Cortez nears, Alix's legs snake around his neck for a head scissors. But he reacts quickly, taking hold of her ankles, and catapulting her figure onto the ring apron. She lands on her feet, but is instantly put on the defensive by Todd's shoulder block attempt. Ally counters his strike by smashing her knee into forehead, rifling him back into the ring and causing him an immeasurable amount of pain. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” The people sing. While Krista and Maddix trade chops in the background, Alix escalates to the top turnbuckle. She patiently waits for The Urban Legend to rise, and when he does, her bewitching legs once again tangle around his neck. Using his overpowering strength, Cortez shifts his body to face away from Alix, so that he can simply electric chair drop her from the squared circle. But Alix again thwarts his plans, this time by bending backwards over the ropes, and employing her furry footwear in a crowd pleasing choke on her foe. MONEYMAKER A rather flexible young lady, I see. That can be very handy. Maybe if she keeps her mouth shut, learns to be a bit more respectable and subservient, I might make her as one of my many mistresses. COLE Keep dreaming, Moneymaker. Alix, after much prodding from the ringside officials, finally releases Cortez. But the excitement and attention is located elsewhere, focused squarely on Landon Maddix who's trapped Krista within a standing fireman's carry. Stricken with panic, Ally rushes to Krista's aid, but she can only look on with horrified eyes as Landon's Go 2 Sleep wreaks havoc upon her girlfriend's physical health.“LANDON SUCKS DICK! LANDON SUCKS DICK!” the audience screams MONEYMAKER They like that kind of thing out here in California, don't they, Cole? Overwrought with anger, Alix lunges for Landon, her procession of kicks and chops throwing tremors of pain throughout his body! But a clenched fist explodes from his side, and bulldozes Alix into the corner. He dashes towards her vulnerable figure, only to be rebuffed by an elbow strike. The counter doesn't deter Landon, however, and he again for the feisty diva! Ally greets his charge by lifting her legs into the sky, then locking the tanned limbs around his shoulders. Maddix counteracts her efforts, by tipping her body over the ropes. Soon Todd Cortez, joins his side and elimination appears only mere moments away! Desperate to see Alix and Krista to victory, the city of angels rally their daughter with a rousing “LET'S GO ALIX!” chant. Spurred on the by the love of the fans, Alix finds the strength to preform a modified handstand that gives her the base she needs to lower her legs onto the ring apron. The exhausted champ speedily bustles back into the squared circle, but she's afforded no time to rest; The Urban Legend drags her upright. But, a sudden flurry of movement cuts short his offensive attack. Her faux fur covered boot explodes forward in a superkick, striking Todd with the force of a wrecking ball! The former SWF tag champion crashes through the ropes behind him, landing on the ring mats so hard, the impact may have cracked the concrete bellow. As Megan Skye makes a half hearted inquiry to his health, the fans let loose with a monstrous cheer, thinking their girls have won the match. But the referees are quick to point out that Cortez went through the ropes, not over, drawing a chorus of boos. MONEYMAKER The ignorance here is damning. The rules were well stated when the match started, it's not the referees fault if you the fans can't even remember what happened a half an hour ago. With his partner incapacitated, Maddix realizes that his chances for title victory are rapidly thinning. Thus he forces the bone weary Alix onto his shoulders in the familiar standing fireman's carry hold. Inching closer to the ropes, Landon showcases his beautiful victim to the wrathful audience, before finally slinging her off his shoulders, and slashing his knee into her face on her fall. COLE Another Go 2 Sleep from Landon Maddix! “¡Buenas Nooooooooochessss!” Landon sings in an exceptionally high pitched voice “FUCK YOU LANDON! FUCK YOU LANDON!” the fans yell. MONEYMAKER I thought people on the West Coast were supposed to be more polite and laid back. What gives here? With volcanic eruptions of anguish pulverizing her skull, Alix is completely incapable of preventing Landon from scooping her up and disposing her from the ring. Fortunately, she doesn't have to, because a resurgent Krista, returns to the fray to unleash thudding elbow strikes to an unsuspecting Maddix! The onlookers cheer wildly, as pair of whirling back kicks double over a now nauseous Maddix. Krissy then situates her hands on the mat, and wraps her legs around Landon's neck. The hapless grappler is spun through the air, then deposited on his back courtesy of the spinning head scissors! “YEAAAAAAAA!” bellows the crowd, that's been on their feet for the past ten minutes. The force of Krista's aerial assault leaves the Spanish born wrestler stunned and breathless, but he's somehow able to scrape himself away from the canvas, and fire off a lariat. But the strike moves far too slowly to be effective, and Krista bends her limber body backwards to avoid it. COLE Taking a page out of Keanu Reeves playbook from the Matrix! Maddix, who thought the Matrix was an overrated piece of pretentious crap, is unamused by her shenanigans. Thus he swings one leg over her elevated torso, then violently drops his crotch onto her tightly toned stomach, smashing her into the canvas! MONEYMAKER Landon Maddix is fighting a one on two match against both tag team champions, and he's winning, Michael Cole, he's winning big time. That's why he's a world champion! Because world champions can get victory no matter what the odds. Landon's boot tears into Krista's throat, causing her every breath to produce a spasm of agony. While his choke reduces Krista's body into a dried husk, the despised superstar begins singing show tunes “We're in the money! We're in the money! We've got what it takes to get along!” At the request of the outside officials, Landon ceases his choke hold (but not his singing, unfortunately). Still whistling his tune, he lifts Krista to her feet, and slings her over his shoulders. The fans groan, believing their about to witness another Go 2 Sleep. But Landon's intentions for Krista are far more sinister. He plans on heaving her over the cables, securing his victory and robbing her of her tag team titles. But as he nears the ropes, her limp body suddenly springs to life, and her hands desperately attach themselves to the cables. The crowd bursts with joy, but Landon is outright enraged, and vehemently increases his efforts to dismiss Miss California from the contest. But it's a task that quickly turns impossible when a recovered Alix pulls Krissy away from his prison!“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!"the city sings, willing their girls onto victory. Sensing that his Cinderella title dreams are fast turning into a midnight pumpkin, Maddix begins detonating wild punches on The Hollywood Bad Girl's body. But, while places Ally on the defensive, he has zero counters for Krissy, and she effortlessly tumbles him onto the apron with flipping dropkick! The spectators are rabid as COD's victory grows closer by the second. COLE Your man is trouble, Moneybags! MONEYMAKER He's a world champion, you emaciated troll. World champions are never in trouble! Landon pie faces an approaching Krista away from him, thinking that will be able to buy him reentry into the ring. But his numbers disadvantage shatters those dreams, as Alix steps between the ropes to join him on the tenuous ledge! Maddix greets her arrival with a lethal lariat, but she evades the strike and his arm and body harmlessly sail by. The aftermath of his missed move isn't as harmless, however, as Krista grabs onto his head and slices his neck through the ring ropes! Jolts of pain now ripping through his neck, Landon staggers from side to side, eventually walking himself into Alix's deadly diamond cutter! Maddix crumbles to the apron, shrieking in chilling pain, as his battered body sinks to outside mats, a victim of the match's final elimination. COLE That's it! It's over! It's over! MONEYMAKER No! No! Not fair! Not fair god damn it! Not fair! The screams of glee from the girls' home city are utterly deafening, shaking the building to it's very foundation as Girlfriend returns to the audio forefront of the arena. Alix instantly leaps into Krista's arms, forgetting that the dog tired woman has been the victim several high impact moves through the course of the contest. But Krista is so overwhelmed with delight, that she matches Ally's embrace, a moment that's captured for an eternity by the flashes of thousands of camera phones. Maybe not an eternity. Maybe just until the phones break. Which they do. Often. fuk u verizon.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Martial Law LEFT:15th EIMINATED:The South Central Militia ELIMINATED BY: CHICKS OVER DICKS LEFT IN RING: 1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MAGGIE Los Angeles, I don't have to say anything, you go ahead and do it. Needing no further prompting, the audience accepts Maggie's invite.... “THE WINNER AND STILL WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, CHICKS OVER DICKS!” they scream, before breaking into another round of gargantuan cheers.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHICKS OVER DICKS THE WINNAHZ! ELIMINATED:Rescue 911, Los Conquistadors, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, The Beverly Hills Blonds, Martial Law ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maddix lies a defeated wreck, sagged against the ring apron, stripped of every last drop of his vitality. His mouth is as dry as the most expansive of deserts, unable to even mutter an answer to Megan's questions towards his health. His sweat soaked tights feel like sandpaper against his raw dehydrated skin. His partner has already retreated up the ring ramp, an icy chill penetrating his bones as he watches the celebration surrounding him. COLE Brilliant plan, Theodore. Worked perfectly. Very good job. I'll sure miss Alix and Krista as tag team champions. MONEYMAKER In the sixties these two would've been locked behind the walls of a mental hospital! Homosexuality was defined as a mental disorder, but gay groups put pressure on the American Psychiatric Association to force them to drop it as a disorder! That is the first and only time in the history of medicine that a disease disappeared because of the demands of people suffering from it. Can you imagine cancer patients getting it removed from the medical encyclopedia. It's absurd! Your kind and those lezzies up their with their tuxedos and cigars, should be locked away! Not celebrated on national TV, and looked at as heroines. COLE Tuxedos and cigars? Update your stereotypes, sweetheart. Do you need a hug? MONEYMAKER No. Because I still have Jade Rodez on my side, and nothing can ever change that. They didn't take anything from me, they just protected what they already had. I stole from them, and I will steal again. And who can stop The Enterprise? Nobody. Krista and Alix toss their arms over one another's shoulders, as they showcase their titles and glowing smiles to their thrilled fans. Though both women can barley stand on their own to feet, they make it a point to share in their city's jubilation. COLE For, Theodore Moneymaker.... MONEYMAKER You don't speak for a billionaire! COLE Very, well, for myself, goodnight from Los Angeles, we will see you next week from Omaha, Nebraska! With the fans still chanting “C-O-D! C-O-D!” we fade to blackness!GOODNIGHT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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