Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD No time for an intro! I gotta get this show up! ***The Challenge: Sumeragi (2-8) Vs Deuce Deuce Bigelow (6-4)*** Officials from SMUSH were in attendance to survey their youngster, who will be heading back to TMW after this. Sumeragi sought to impress and took the fight to Deuce early on. But Deuce used his power advantage and overwhelmed Sumeragi. But, Sumeragi is the dirtiest player out of SMUSH and used eye rakes and chokes to even the odds. Deuce was so befuddled by the dirty tricks of Sumeragi it looked like he might fall in defeat. But then the flame broiled monster took back control and dominated his foe until ending him with the Deep Fryer. Winner: Deuce Deuce Bigelow, via pinfall RENEE Deuce won't be heading to the finals but he finishes The Challenge at a pretty decent 7-4. COACH He looked dominate sometimes, and that'll carry over to the rest of SlaughterHouse when the time comes to raise some hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 As HeldDOWN returned from break a chic dressed Rhaenys The Unheard stands with her sister, the cute attired Alysanne The Charming. Rhaenys went on a controlled rant about The XFL's infatuation with Bobbi and December. RHAENYS I will not be pushed aside! Not by some two bit floozies, eager to make a buck off Xavier. Those are my bucks and my man! Alysanne and I have had up to hear with you two cheap hoes. ALYSANNE I'm still a fan. But, it would be a dream come true to be a two time Hotties' champion with my sweet sister. RHAENYS And champions we will be! At AngleSlam I want you to know, who will be established as the boss bitch. Me! ALYSANNE And hopefullly me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 ***The Challenge: Blaine Cayley (8-2) Vs Logan Mann (5-4-1)*** Blaine was outwardly overjoyed to be in the finals, and teased wrestling with sunglasses on like Tyler. But then he noticed how dejected Logan was over his failure to advance. BLAINE Say, don't cry. That’s a nice face you’ve got there. Would be a shame if someone were to slash it. Let’s have some fun, shall we? Blaine pounced on Logan after that and beat him into the corner, then terrorized him with the dreaded ten punches. Logan offered no answer and Blaine was easily able to hip toss him to the center of the ring. Still, Logan did nothing so Blaine casually hit a seated dropkick to his head. HOLLY Pull your shit together, dumbass! SAMMI You call that being supportive and loving? HOLLY Hey, mind your (beep)ing business. If I had a real man for a husband I'd be (beep)ing loving and supportive. RENEE Eh, I doubt that! Logan did manage to reverse vertical suplex...with great sorrow. As Blaine got to his feet, Logan took aim with a less than wicked right hook, but got blocked and forearmed to the ground. Yet, Leezus Price was able to avoid the Welsh Press and jackknifed his for a two count. But as Logan got up Blaine unleashed his own WICKED LEFT HOOK~! HOLLY You got a (beep)ing problem, Cayley? BLAINE Oh, I don't think even you have the stomach to hear a true recitation of my problems. Blaine tried for a Lion Tamer, but Logan was able to push him away. The Leezus Price hit a running neckbreaker, but was too sad to taunt the crowd. From there he worked in a reverse chinlock that Blaine had little trouble in escaping. Still Logan was able to hit a back suplex, and went up top to try a body splash. Yet Blaine rolled out the way, and again dropkicked Logan in the head. Leezus Price rolled into the corner, and got blasted with a running splash and then drilled with the Welsh Press! “YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAA”! Logan rolled onto the ring apron, and managed to escape Blaine's attempt to suplex him back inside. The Vegas native went for a school boy, but Blaine kicked out then lunged forward to hit Cruel Intentions to send Logan to a depressing end of The Challenge. Winner: Blaine Cayley, via pinfall COACH Is this the dude who's gonna win The Challenge: Singled Out? RENEE Maybe so! He stormed to the finish, now all he has to do is cross the line and we're looking at an even richer Blaine Cayley and possibly a future world champion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 *** The Challenge: Tony Tourettes (0-10) w/ Vinny Valentine vs. Mr. Dick (6-2-2) *** On a media blackout since last week's draw with Baron Windels, Mr. Dick blew off OAOAST correspondent Terry Taylor right before what is potentially his final match of the tournament assuming he doesn't get the help needed later in the night to advance to the finals. TERRY Dick, all the OAOAST Galaxy wants to know is what's going through your mind? Especially after the whole controversy la-- MR. DICK What's going through my mind is me knocking your teeth down your throat with a Stiff Kick. At that point Terry stopped following MD who looked over his shoulder and said, "That's what I thought." RENEE Emotions are high and rightfully so. Everybody in the tournament wants Money in the Bank but only one superstar will leave with it at Angleslam. Tonight we find out who will meet in the finals. COACH Funny how Dick's fate rests in the hands of a couple former tag partners. But at least we know what he's pulling for -- a draw. Cuz that creates a tie for second between Mr. Dick and Big Papa Thrust that sets up a 3 Way to crown the winner of The Challenge. RENEE But first Mr. Dick must take care of business against Tony T. COACH The fool's-- I mean, the guy's 0-11. Shouldn't be much of a problem for Dick. RENEE Oh yeah, now that Tony T has money he's no longer a fool, idiot, bum, etc. He's just-- COACH One of the guys! RENEE Riiiight. As expected, Tony T gets his ass handed to him, landing only a few body shots that have little effect on MD. In fact, the blows seem only to upset MD who gets even more physical before finally putting Tony T away with the Jackhammer. Winner: Mr. Dick, via pinfall. RENEE All Mr. Dick can do now is watch and hope BW defeats Big Papa Thrust later tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 As HeldDOWN returns from break, in ring is Ser Felix Strutter, the lackey of The Kingdom, grinning and readying for singles action. Until.... Hey, hey I let you walk all over me, me You know that I’m a little tease, tease But I wanna play there please, please As Avirl Lavigne's “Bad Girl” hits and rocks out the supernatural sister duo of Fire & Ice stride to the ring in their sexy etheral glory. COACH Yo, what's these chicks doing out and about? Not that I mind Annagret, but wherever Cinnamon is that crazy horse is around. Annagret directs her sword at Ser Felix Strutter. ANNAGRET Scram. And scram Strutter does, showing great cowardice for a knight! But with him gone, Annagret and Cinnamon are free to talk. CINNAMON Sorry about that! But the truth is the Justice Cabal must address the united federation of deep realms. ANNAGRET What the hell are you talking about? Everyone ignore her. She sucks. Pay attention to me. Midnight Foxes, from a whore to a couple of bitches, you suck worse than my sister. You have to seep to new pits of hell and lameness to get past her, but you did it. And now? Looks like you have to pay for it. But all this talk about your big surprise at AngleSlam is kind of moot. Unless you're lining up the Showtime Lakers and the And-1 all stars, its gonna be us balling on the both of you. CINNAMON True fighters of good, don't keep surprises from their foes! I learned that in Heroism 101 and again in Heroism 202. ANNAGRET There's no class like that. CINNAMON Uh-huh! I had to pay two thousand dollars per credit hour, get a co-signer for five different student loans, and if I don't repay it back in two years I owe the Nevada government my spleen. ANNAGRET Ugh. They will not control us We will be victoriousBZZZZT BZZZZT BBBRRRRRRRP! With the playing of “Car Show” rocking out, the fabulously adorned Midnight Foxes arrive in expensive fur coats. RUBY Well, well, well. I see someone's interested in the surprise we have prepared for AngleSlam. Wouldn't you like to know what evil schemes we've cooked up for you in our boiling cauldron. CAELDORI But, its just too bad you won't find out tonight. Do you honestly think you can goad us into telling you what's up? Perfection doesn't answer to imperfection. That's just the way it is. That might be like if I sleep with the first guy who happens to buy me a drink. Perfection is picky in the bed room, and in the ring, and to the both of us you two weirdos just don't happen to meet the criteria to measure up. You shouldn't feel about yourself, though. After all The Midnight Foxes are perfectly fierce and twice as sexy. ANNAGRET I know you just talked, but all I heard was “We're totally full of shit.” RUBY You'll be full of your tits, our tits, your asses, our asses when we reach AngleSlam and I work my dark magic. Maybe the surprise won't even come out, maybe it'll tun into the Lethal Bang in August. But if it doesn't and you just keep resisting then...MWWWHAHHAHAAAA! “Car Show” hits once more and Caeldori and Ruby linger long enough only to wave good-bye to their vexed and disgusted AngleSlam foes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 *** Big IQ vs. Keyboard Warriors (Benoit Was Framed! & The ProTROLLcol) *** In a non-title affair, OAOAST tag champions Big IQ made easy work of their opponents, picking up the W following Get Ya Mind Wright. Winners: Big IQ, via pinfall. Prior to the match the OAOAST Galaxy heard pre-recorded comments from VICE and their boy Joey The Rat about the upcoming tag title match at Angleslam. Joey reiterated VICE's desire to add the OAOAST tag titles to their collection which currently includes the OAOAST 6-man tag titles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 On the interview stage Sara Jean stands next to a pole and a line of five mega hot Hotties! SARA JEAN What a group of Hotties we have for the Pole Dancing Olympics! The babe meter is off the charts, and our girls are going for the big prize and the big eruptions if you know what I mean. First off representing, Ireland... LYRIC DELACEY! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAA!” Lyric licks her lips and performs a sexy pout. SARA JEAN And representing Ukraine....DASHA! “YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAA!” Dasha smiles and waves and delights in the fans response. SARA JEAN Representing Canada....PIERETTE SAINT NERD REGARD! “YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” PIERETTE Kyyahaahahaa! SARA JEAN Representing America....MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD! The FuckSlut from Hell pumps her first, then pumps them like she's jerking off a dude! A fan favorite showing! SARA JEAN Also representing America....GRETCHEN WRIGHT! The Hotties Champion bows, which seems to demure until we realize she's giving us a panty shot! SARA JEAN Lyric, make those legs sing! Lyric steps forward, all confident swagger and leggy sexiness as Sara Jean just attested to. LYRIC Ay, I can dance any one of ya under the table, the table I'm hidden underneath giving head. But this a pole dancing comp so you gotta settle for lusting after my gorgeous pins. As “Don't Stop” by French Montana hits, the Irish rep in this contest goes into her scorching routine... LYRIC I got more ye dirty little fuckers... LYRIC Ahhhh yes, soak it in and soak that dirty sock, ye yankers. Lyric finishes with a twist before coming down on her high heels and once again tracing her tongue along her lips. SARA JEAN Hot, hot, hot! You've been alive for 500 years, your hottness is the cause of climate change! Now from an immortal blood sucker to mortal blood spiller, its Pierette! PIERETTE I've got a body to die for! And if you fuck me right, there's a chance you are gonna do for it! Kyyhaahhahaaa! The mad and wild ginger rocks out to sounds of Val Venis' entrance music of all things, flipping her gorgeous locks then going for a wild twirl! PIERETTE Whoooo, I feel like I've floated into space, so work those rockets in your pockets! PIERETTE Kyyhaahhhhaaaaa, the only thing better than stripping for a crowd full of guys is cutting up a crowd full of out guys! Come 'ere boys! SARA JEAN Eeeek, don't do that! Dasha, hurry up and show your sexy Euro babe stuff! DASHA This super good for me! I spend time practicing pole dancing on the light post in town during high school. LYRIC The light post? There's only one light post? DASHA That make us having one more of the light post then next combined three towns! MAYA There's something sexy about a hot poor girl. Hit it, sister! Some crazy ass Russian rap begins playing, and though we can't understand the words to the song we understand the sexiness inherent in Dasha crawling to the pole. The babe pulls herself up and begins a delectable hip roll... DASHA Mmmm, I be doing the rocking n the rolling in the bedroom too. Much more funner, but much more stickier. Dasha gives one final twirl off the pole and into a jumping wave to the roaring audience! SARA JEAN That lucky lamp post! Alright, next up we've got Maya! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAA!” MAYA What's up, America, are you ready for the hottest teenage body in the history of hot teenage body! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA I make eighteen year old Cleopatra look like Sophia from Golden Girls, and I'll get your blood pumping so fast, and your dick so hard, producers will be lining up to cast me in A Striptease remix. One of the favorites of this torunament, Maya wiggles her tight tight ass and she sways and struts to the pole. The lights highlight her baby oil slicked body, making her look all the hotter, and all the nastier. Maya rubs the pole up and down, stroking it as if was the largest cock in the world. But a cock wouldn't let her spin around like so... MAYA I'm doing it for America! I'm doing it the red, white and boobs! MAYA Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the baddest bitch of them all? Then there was a quick pause Then the mirror responded, "You know you got the pussy game locked, stop actin' retarded.” Maya rolls back om to her knees and flashes a charming and oh so sexy smile to a round of hearty applause from the fans! SARA JEAN Way to go, Maya! Leading the way for all nymphomaniacs. From one hot nineteen year old to another, let's give it up for Gretchen! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!” A semi hip-hop semi classical song plays and Gretchen gracefully glides to the pole, where she offers a sumptuous look at her favorite body part... GRETCHEN I am the best of beauty, sexiness and elegance! Gretchen gives us one last look at her hot and muscular legs, before finishing off with a ballet style pirouette to cheers from the fans. SARA JEAN Okay then let's get our winner! You the fans... Sara Jean trails off as Wanda and a gang of zombies arrives onto the stage! DASHA This be the dead who are walking! GRETCHEN Not for long! I shall make charred mincemeat out of you Wanda. And feed the corpses of your friends to zoo animals. WANDA I WAANNTT POLLLEEE DANNNNCEEEE! I WANNNTTT HOTTIES TITTTTLEEE! GRETCHEN Of those you shall never have. You could not have bestowed your presence on a lesser entertained object. I demand your withdrawal. WANDA I DEEMMMMAAAANDDD POLE DAANNNCEEE ANNNDDD WOMMNEESSSS TITTTTLLLE! MAYA I have an idea. Zombie sexuality and Zombie integration is the next hot button human rights issue. But of course, and old money socialite such as Gretchen shouldn't be required to just bend over and let these people into our stripper jobs fair and into freezers holding dried brains. Nope, she has to fight for the social order of things and its wihtout a doubt in my pretty little head that I KNOW Gretchen should be fighting Wanda at AngleSlam for the Hotties Title! WANNNDDAAAAA I WINNNNNN AND POLLLE DDANNNCEEEE FORRRR CLEEMMMMM! GRETCHEN You are free to pole dance in the kennel of the hounds of hell as that is where I shall be sending you! Security is timid and afraid but have no choice but to get in front of Gretchen and the zombie invasion. Both Wanda and Gretchen are furious with one another, but manage not to come to blows over this glut of security DASHA I win contest! LYRIC How do you figure?! DASHA Win by default! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 ***The Challenge: THE FLEX (3-7) W/Lorelei DeCenzo Vs Lucius Soul (5-4-1) W/Melody Nerdly and Jade Rodez-Duncan*** Lorelei was deep in mourning again, which Jade found funny, but Melody was too busy ranting about No Man's Sky. MELODY They said there would be multiplayer! I went to the same planet as EliteGamer0334 and he wasn't there! Same planet! Same time! He wasn't there! Where's the multiplayer?! WHERE GOD DAMN IT?! SOUL Titty Mama, calm yourself, or it'll be two player with me and Jade in the bedroom tonight. As for the match, Soul spent a lot of time sticking and moving, and Flex spent a lot of missing and Melody spent a lot of time complaining. MELODY Gravity is the same on every planet! Every planet! Malarkey! Flex did manage to ground out Soul, but Pimp Magic would use his agility to escape most of Flex's holds. In the end, Flex was defeated by a simple small package providing a sad end to his tournament, but finally giving Melody and her beautiful bouncing breasts something to cheer over! Winner: Lucius Soul, via pinfall RENEE Lucius didn't win The Challenge, but the showing he had was awesome. Even you have to admit that, Coach. COACH Fuck that nappy haired ho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 Atop the interview stage stands Tony Brannigan in jeans and AngleSlam baseball jersey... BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen...my guest, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion....TYLER BRYANT!!! “GIVE IT TO...GIVE IT TO ME!” “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”! As “Rising Up” plays Tyler Bryant steps out clad in a blue polo shirt and faded jeans with Lorelei DeCenzo matching him in a sparkling blue strapless gown. BRANNIGAN Tyler, let's try- TYLER I'm not like you Tony Brannigan, I don't make a career out of reminiscing. I don't sit on the Network with Zack Malibu, Dan Black, on Lunch For Two, talking about the good ol days. Because every day for me is a great day, because I am The Serial Thriller and everyday I reestablish myself as the top of this industry. The only mainevent player worth keeping your eyes on. BRANNIGAN Can you just answer a few questions. LORELEI Beg for him to answer your questions. BRANNIGAN Beg? Beg? LORELEI Get on your knees and beg. BRANNIGAN ….I won't. TYLER Then stand back and let me shoot from the hip. The Challenge is going on, so many men hungering to get what I have. So many midcarders bellow them trying to fit in the scene. But you don't have to worry about fitting in when you're custom made like me. Custom made and self made. I worked my ass off to build myself into The Serial Thriller, and now Krista comes back like one of Delta's zombies hounding me, running after me. I'm not Gretchen, there weren't be a parasol to the brain. What there will be is a superkick, a 0 to 100 and win for me and another haircut for Krista! BRANNIGAN You wouldn't do that again! TYLER I can and I will. I once had Krista's back when all she did was front. And now she continues to front like I don't own her? I am The Serial Thriller, the present and the future of this sport! Make room at the old timers table, Brannigan, because you're about to have another guest. Krista is fronting like she's still what she used to be. When I cut her hair, I cut her glory. Let her burn my stuff, let her take my picture. She and the world can burn the picture of me standing above her as world champion into their mind because once again I will defeat her! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!” TYLER Keep your boos, you can't fix this with jeers and taunts. This world title knows me better than you, better than I know myself, and it knows I'm never letting it go. Like a good woman, this belt is a keeper, its spice in my life and I'm David Beckham. Krista you're like McMahon with no chance in hell. The game belongs to me, what a time to be alive! “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Tyler raises his world title high into the air as the fans continue to deride him and Lorelei applauds him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 *** The Challenge: Big Papa Thrust (7-2-1) w/ The Freakazoids vs. Baron Windels (6-3-1) *** Backstage, finalist Blaine Cayley watched along with the rest of the OAOAST roster, including Mr. Dick, at the lounge area as BW and BPT battled for a spot in the tournament finals. RENEE It's this simple, ladies and gentlemen: Whichever superstar wins advances to meet Blaine Cayley in the finals at Angleslam. A draw creates a tie for second between Big Papa Thrust and Mr. Dick, setting up a 3 way final with Blaine Cayley at Angleslam. Right away the guys started throwing haymakers. After all, they are working with a 15 minute time limit, and we've already seen in the tournament how impact that can be. But the only person hoping for a draw is Mr. Dick and his supporters. BW and BPT were out to win and it seemed BW was about to do just that around the 11 minute mark when he looked to serve a Brigham Young Cocktail DDT only for BPT to block the move and spike BW with the 69 Driver for the W! Winner: Big Papa Thrust, via pinfall. Backstage, MD slammed his shot glass on the table and stormed off while Blaine looked on (Sammi by his side) at the man he'll face at the finals at Angleslam, BPT. RENEE It's official! Big Papa Thrust vs. Blaine Cayley in the finals of The Challenge at Angleslam! Next week we'll have The Challenge All Stars 10 man tag right here for you on HeldDOWN~! FINAL STANDINGS Blaine 9-2 -- Finalist BPT 8-2-1 -- Finalist Mr. Dick 7-2-2 BW 6-4-1 Lucius 6-4-1 Deuce 7-4 Logan 5-5-1 Simon 5-6 THE FLEX 3-8 Bi-Curious George 3-8 Sumeragi 2-9 Tony T 0-11 FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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