School's Out 2004

[Chanel #99]

Intro
Cheering as the School's Out logo appears fills the volumes of air. Slowly the logo creeps back into the entwining darkness. A cold shot of a desk appears from the blackness, expanding as a light begins to shine brighter. The camera pulls up, into the smiling visage of Stephen Joseph.

The fans now boo.

Stephen Joseph
Welcome to School's Out, a quintessianal OAOAST Pay-Per-View special. Tonight we're having a plethora of great matches, one with my friends T-Bod and Dan Black facing the pathetic rag-tag team of G-P-X. An old Pal Puerto Rican Lightning will light up Columbian Heat. Even Calvin...Calvin, I will look forward to him destroying Sly.

But let me turn to more important matters. This is my PPV, one I only get every other month. So I'm going to make this count...introduce a new philosophy.

Tonight, Zack Malibu faces Crystal. Zack Malibu, then man I said would betray you. The man who did betray you. Tonight, I hope Zack destroys Crystal. This is a man's game, not a woman's. But Zack buddy, you're still a boy in a man's world.

Tonight, I will present your next OAOAST Champion,someone I have hand selected to face Zack Malibu down the line and take the title back into more...deserving...honest...hands.

Fuck Me?

::Stephen points his index finger at the camera:::

Fuck You!

::Fade Out::

[Chanel #99]

Overture: A lone speaker, gruff in voice, speaking over past clips.

There have been many teachers. There has been only one straight A student.

I've learned from AngleSault, not to be fickle
I've learned from Caboose, not to be depressed
I've learned from Alfdog, not to be forgotten
I've learned from Cobain, not to anger
I've learned from Zack Malibu, not to pander the fans
I've learned from Calvin Szechstein, pride cometh before the fall.

I am not just a student.
I am student who has surpased his teachers.

I am Zack Malibu, OAOAST World HeavyWeight Champion
And if you're not IN...
You're Out.

Class Dismissed.

::Fade::

[Chanel #99]

Michael Buffer
Ladies and Gentleman, it is time for School's Out: Class Dismissed to begin. Introducing your announce team of Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, and the enigmatic Caboose!

::The three walk out, Cole sporting a wedgie. Coach can't dance, but he tries.::

And now, the OAOAST asks you to join in a ten bell salute to the Armed Forces around the world, in particular The Mad Cappa, who when not here is out serving for our freedom today. We are grateful for his presence today.

Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!

Michael Buffer
Ladies and gentleman, let's get ready to rumbleee!

[Chanel #99]

COLE
Fans, we're once again gonna cut live to a shot of Crystal, our 24/7 Champion, preparing for her World Title match tonight. Crystal has a chance to win double gold here, as well as become the first female World Champ in history, and...

The cameras cut to a shot of Crystal stretching out in her locker room as the live crowd goes NUT watching on the video wall!

COLE
You know Crystal's got to be as determined tonight as she has ever been.

CABOOSE
Like her or not -- and I don't -- but she's a hell of a competitor.

COLE
Coach?

COACH
Tonight's the night, boys.

Cole is heard laughing gently in the background as there's a knock on Crystal's door. Crystal looks up quickly, a nervous expression on her face.

CRYSTAL
Just a second...

Crystal reaches for the door handle, but the door flies open, knocking Crystal into the wall. Crystal reels, then looks at the doorway, fury running across her face. Crystal charges the doorframe--

*CRACK*

COLE
Oh my God!

Crystal falls down hard, motionless, as the camera pans to the doorway...revealing Hoff, holding a steel chair.

CABOOSE
HA! YES!

COLE
Oh no.

HOFF (motioning)
Get in here.

Hoff reaches back and grabs a referee, throwing him in the room.

CABOOSE
OH, YES!!!

COLE
He's not gonna--

CABOOSE
YES HE IS!

Hoff lies down across Crystal, and points to the referee, who reluctantly counts...

ONE

TWO









THREE!!

Hoff gets up, and the official raises his hand to a VILE round of boos from the live crowd.

COLE
He can't!

CABOOSE
Oh yes he can! It's the 24/7 Title!

Hoff steps over Crystal's fallen form, grabbing the 24/7 Title from a shelf and throwing it over his shoulder.

COLE
This is beyond contempt...

CABOOSE
This is the Thrillogy!

Hoff looks down at Crystal, a sick smile spreading across his face.

HOFF
Good luck tonight, sweetheart.

Hoff turns and leaves the room, as the chorus of boos gradually fades into a chant of "Crys-tal." The official checks on her as the cameras cut back to Sofa Central.

COLE
Fans...

CABOOSE
This is the greatest! I always knew Hoff had it in him!

COLE
Well, like it or not, we do officially have a new 24/7 Champion here tonight.

CABOOSE
A deserving champion! A great champion! A--

COACH
Caboose...

Caboose looks over to Coach, and waves him off, but stops talking.

COLE
Well, we can only hope that Crystal will be all right for her World Title match here tonight.
 

[Chanel #99]

(Backstage we see Abe Vigoda walking the halls. He stops in front of the men's locker room and walks in. In the corner AJ Flaire and Gunner Sharps sit talking. AJ has an ice back strapped to his back.)

ABE
AJ can I have a word with you?

AJ
You can have more than one word if you like.

ABE
Well it's nice to see you in a good mood at least. However, what I'm about to say might put you in a bad one. After Thursday I am having a hard time letting this match happen.

AJ
Abe I swear if you cancel this match I'll kill you.

GUNNER
Maybe you should listen to him.

AJ
Not you too! I have waited weeks to get my hands on Rick Edwards and I'mnot going to be stopped now! I've seen my chiropractor today and I've taken some pain killers. I will make it through this match, but you have to trust me!

ABE
I cannot in good conscience let you go out there!

AJ
Abe if I get injured out there I promise you I will not hold you or the OAOAST responsible! I know what's at stake tonight and I've made my choice! I have done everything from ice packs, to rest, to pain killers, to exercise, and I feel ready!

GUNNER
I don'tlike the idea of pain killers.

AJ
Don't worry this is the first time in a very long time I've used them. I'm going out there tonight and neither of you can stop me. Rick Edwards has started something he can't finish! Tonight I'm going to make him bleed all over this damn arena!

ABE
Fine, but watch yourself out there tonight kid.

[Chanel #99]

*Ding Ding Ding*

MICHAEL BUFFER
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Ladder Match for the X-Division Championship!!

*The fans cheer loudly*

*Tear Away by Drowning Pool begins as the lights go down and the spotlights begin to blink along with the guitar intro.*

I'm tearing away
Pieces are falling I can't seem to make them stay

You run away
Faster and faster you can't seem to get away

BREAK!!!!!

*Rick Edwards makes his way out to a chorus of boos. Sadly for Rick it’s not a chorus of booze. He is wearing his trademark bleeding Superman symbol shirt, black pants, black boots, and black elbow pads. He walks down the ramp, stops at the ladder standing in the middle, and folds it up.*

COLE
What is he doing? You’re not supposed to bring the ladder to the ring before the match starts!

COACH
Yeah! He’s cheating already!

CABOOSE
I can’t believe you two! Where does it say that in the rule book and how can you cheat in a match with no rules anyway!?

*Rick drags the ladder to the ring, but before he can make it AJ Flaire comes running out and blasts him with a forearm to the back of the head! Rick drops the ladder and AJ tosses Rick into the ring.*

CABOOSE
Hey!!!

COLE
Like you said…it’s not cheating.

*In the ring Michael Buffer looks a little upset that he once again isn’t allowed to introduce both competitors when these two are around*

COACH
Poor Buffer I hope he’s alright.

COLE
What the hell are you talking about?

COACH
Well the narrator guy said?br>
CABOOSE
Why do we have to put up with him??

Rick hurries to the other side of the ring and tries to escape, but AJ grabs him by the foot and pulls him back. Rick stands up on one foot and goes for an Enziguri, but AJ ducks. Rick goes to kick back, but AJ tosses his foot forwards so that he flips onto his back. Rick quickly makes it to his feet and backs into a corner where he extends his hand for a handshake. AJ looks at him as if he had just killed his dog before blasting him with a hard chop to the chest.

COLE
AJ has lost it and he has good reason to!

AJ continues blasting him with more and more chops and open hand smacks to the chest. He picks up speed with each strike and soon Rick is begging for a way out of the corner as AJ is just smacking the hell out of him! The fans are absolutely eating it up as AJ starts smacking Rick in the face as well. Rick finally finds an opening and kicks AJ in the gut, causing him to step back a few paces. Rick then grabs him and tosses him into the corner before wailing on him with some chops of his own. He then backs up a few steps and nails AJ with a Running Back Elbow. Rick sees that AJ is stunned so he backs up even more and runs in for a Splash, but AJ moves and Rick bounces off the turnbuckle hard!

COACH
Nobody home on that move!

Rick stumbles back, right into AJ, who then grabs him by the head and smashes it into the turnbuckle repeatedly as the fans count along!

1?????????0!

AJ then reaches up and yanks the turnbuckle pad off the top rope and goes for it again!

COLE
Oh my God he really is going to make him bleed!!

CABOOSE
This is just sick!!

COACH
Don’t tell me I’m gonna have to close my eyes during this match!

AJ goes to slam Rick’s head into the corner again, but Rick puts his foot up to stop it and then plants a couple of elbows to AJ’s gut. He then hooks AJ and hits a Back Suplex before bailing to the outside for a breather. Rick stumbles around for a second and then reaches under the ring for something.

COLE
What is he looking for? The ladder is right there!

Rick finally pops back up with a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand and begins to drink.

CABOOSE
Finally some booze!! Hey AJ! Up here bud!

The fans heckle Rick and he just spits some whiskey at them. Rick then turns around to see AJ standing there and he spits whiskey into AJ’s eyes as well. AJ fumbles around for a second as Rick puts the bottle on the time keeper’s table and then grabs AJ to toss him into the ring post. AJ regains his sight and reverses Rick right into the ring post! Rick hits hard and falls to the mat as AJ comes over to pick him up again. AJ then tosses him back into the ring and goes for the ladder.

*The fans cheer for the ladder coming back into play.*

AJ grabs the ladder and slides it into the ring before lifting it up lengthwise and slamming the top down onto Rick’s right shoulder. Rick holds his shoulder in pain as AJ slams the ladder down two more times onto his shoulder and then tosses the ladder down. Rick finds himself crawling across the ring to get away from AJ, but he just pulls Rick back and places his arm in between the sides of the ladder and jumps with both feet onto the ladder!

COLE
Good God he’s gonna break Rick’s arm!!!

COACH
Did you just say “Good God?? You’re not JR!

CABOOSE
Who cares Coach!? Just shut up!

Rick recoils in pain and scoots his way into the corner, where he sits and tries to shake out the pain in his arm. AJ takes a running start and Low Dropkicks Rick right in the hurt arm to an amazing reaction from the crowd! AJ comes up showing a little pain in his back, but he quickly shakes it off and grabs the ladder again. This time he waits for Rick to stand and charges in with the ladder aimed at Rick’s shoulder. Rick sees him coming and moves in time as the ladder impacts with the turnbuckles and slips out of AJ’s hands. Rick uses the opportunity to rest his arm and move as far across the ring from AJ as he can. AJ quickly picks the ladder back up with both hands and thrusts it towards Rick, but he moves. AJ swings again and Rick moves once more, but as Rick comes up AJ quickly jerks the ladder back in his direction and catches Rick right in the head! Rick falls to his side and barely grabs hold of the ropes to keep from falling. AJ backs up a few steps, waits for Rick to stand, and nails him in the face with the top of the ladder, sending him tumbling over the top rope. As the ladder hits him AJ releases and it comes to a rest, leaning on the top rope. Rick lies on the outside almost out cold and AJ sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring for the first time.

COLE
AJ might have this won right now!!

COACH
Go AJ Go!!

CABOOSE
No AJ No!!

AJ climbs the ladder slowly as not to hurt his back and slowly Rick starts to stir on the outside. Rick catches a glimpse of AJ climbing and stumbles his way into the ring as quick as he can with half his wits about him. AJ makes it to the very top and places his fingers on the belt just as Rick basically stumbles right into the ladder and causes AJ to lose balance and fall. AJ manages to land on his feet, but Rick is there to hit a desperation clothesline sending both men over the top rope and to the outside! AJ hits hard and noticeably arches his back in pain.

COLE
Oh no!! AJ may have just aggravated that back!

CABOOSE
What did you expect!?

COACH
That could spell the end for the Flaire man!

CABOOSE
I swear it’s like sitting next to a 3 year old!!

Rick, who took the least of the impact on the floor, begins to stir and finally pulls himself up on the guardrail. Rick slowly makes his way to the time keeper’s table and grabs his Jack Daniels bottle again to take a drink.

*The fans start chanting AL-CO-HOLIC clap clap clap AL-CO-HOLIC*

CABOOSE
That’s terrible!!!

Rick flips them off and takes another drink before noticing AJ begin to stand. Rick finishes off the bottle, gives it a good look over, and then smashes it over AJ’s head!!!!

*The fans boo loudly and chant “Ricky Sucks?

COLE
No!!!!! Now that is terrible!!!

COACH
He isn’t bleeding is he??

CABOOSE
Cole you idiot!! You said so yourself that there are no rules in a ladder match!

AJ slumps over to the mat as Rick slides into the ring and sets up the ladder. Rick climbs the ladder with a smile on his face as the fans try to cheer AJ on. Rick makes his way up…half way…three quarters of the way…and as he reaches the top he looks down and sees AJ pulling with all his might on the guardrail to get up. Rick reaches for the belt, but AJ yells at him from the ground.

AJ
I’m not done you son of a bitch!!! You haven’t crippled me yet!!

CABOOSE
He’s obviously delirious.

Rick pauses for a moment in anger, but he reaches for the belt again and AJ slides into the ring and kicks the bottom of the ladder as hard as he can! The ladder shakes and Rick has to adjust himself to keep from falling, so AJ pushes the ladder with his feet and it begins to teeter. Rick leaps down before it falls to keep from getting hurt and looks pissed.

COLE
I can’t believe it!!! AJ’s plan managed to buy him enough time to actually stop Rick from winning!!!

A look of anger crosses Rick’s face and he pulls AJ up by the head, takes a step back, and leaps in the air for a Doomsday Kick…but AJ ducks and Rick just falls flat on his face! The fans cheer and laugh, but Rick quickly gets to his feet nails AJ with a Clothesline as he stands up straight. Rick looks out into the crowd and shouts at them.

RICK
Shut up!!! If I hear anymore booing or laughing from you and I’ll break his freakin back!!

Rick seems to be getting even angrier as he lays the ladder on the ground and places AJ on top of it. He then gets a running start and splashes AJ on the ladder, which causes AJ to yell out in pain. Rick then picks him up and hits a Russian Leg Sweep onto the ladder, which elicits even more cries of pain from him.

COLE
Dammit he’s going to cripple him!!!

CABOOSE
You just now figured that out!?

*The fans boo and chant “A-J?as Rick sets the ladder up in the corner.*

Rick tries to pull AJ to his feet, but AJ goes deadweight on him and Rick ends up just shoving him to the mat. Rick then grabs the ladder, holding it horizontally, and lifts it above his head. He then brings it crashing down on the back of AJ as he tries to get up! He then raises it above his head again and waits for AJ to try to get up again. However, this time AJ begins kicking Rick in the legs. Rick becomes shaky and drops the ladder behind him as AJ continues kicking his legs. AJ then sweeps Rick’s legs out from under him and sends him falling onto the ladder!! Rick hits hard with his upper back and head and lets out a loud cry of pain!

COLE
AJ is coming back!!!

COACH
That’s right!! You can’t stop?br>
CABOOSE
Oh shut up already!!!

AJ pulls himself up, rope by rope, as the fans reach their feet in anticipation. Finally AJ stands and the fans go nuts as he raises his fist in the air. AJ grabs the ladder and sets it up in the middle of the ring as Rick rolls around on the mat, holding the back of his head in pain. AJ slowly climbs the ladder and makes it almost to the top and then stops.

COLE
What is he doing?

AJ raises his hand in the air and then leaps off the top of the ladder with the Extra Special twisting 450 splash!

COLE
Oh my God what a move!

CABOOSE
What a stupid move!!!

The force of the leap knocks the ladder over as AJ soars through the air……..and misses because Rick moved!!!

CABOOSE
What did I tell you!? He’s lucky that move ends with him on his stomach and not back!

COLE
He doesn’t look lucky to me!

AJ lies on the mat in immense pain as Rick slowly pulls himself to his feet. Rick then sets the ladder in the corner like before and pulls AJ to his feet by his head. Rick then places AJ against the ladder, moves to the opposite corner, and takes off with a big Splash onto AJ! AJ starts to fall over, but Rick places him back where he was and takes off again to the other corner. This time Rick comes running in for a High Knee Strike, but AJ falls over at the last second and Rick hits hard! Rick hops around the ring in pain and rubs on his knee as AJ lies on the mat and rests.

CABOOSE
Come on Rick! You’re toying with him too much!

COLE
What’s with the cheerleading?

CABOOSE
What is it okay if you do it for AJ??

Rick rolls to the outside and starts searching the fans for something. Rick shoves people aside and finally comes up with a cup of water. Rick drinks a little and then dumps the rest on his head as he tries to regain his composure. Rick is resting against the guardrail when a mysterious man in a suit walks up in the crowd and whispers something in Rick’s ear before handing him a briefcase with the name Williams and Horn on the side. Rick opens the briefcase and finds a pair of handcuffs!

COLE
Oh hell no!!!

COACH
Kinky!

CABOOSE
I’m not touching that one!

Rick then slides in the rings with the handcuffs and cuffs AJ to the bottom rope!

COLE
No dammit don’t do this!!!

Rick then grabs a chair from ringside and slides back into the ring. He raises the chair above his head and the crowd erupts as Abe Vigoda comes running down the ramp with a cop.

ABE
Stop that right now!!! Stop that or you’ll never get your hands on that X-Title!

Rick slides out of the ring to argue with Abe as the cop unlocks the handcuffs. Rick is just screaming in the face of Abe.

RICK
You can’t do this!!! Ladder matches are no disqualification!!!

ABE
That doesn’t mean you aren’t still under MY RULES!!!

*The fans cheer and chant “ABE, ABE, ABE?

As Rick argues with Abe AJ recovers in the ring and goes for the ladder.

ABE
You might want to get back to your match Mr. Edwards!!

Rick turns around quickly and sees AJ with the ladder. AJ sets up the ladder and climbs as Rick slides back in the ring. As Rick runs towards the ladder AJ leaps off and nails him with the Elegance!!!

COLE
Shining Wizaaaaaard!!!!

CABOOSE
Holy Mother of God!!!

AJ lands hard and the pain is evident in his face, but the fans are on their feet.

*HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!*

Both men lie on the mat in pain, but AJ manages to crawl to the ropes and slowly pull himself up. AJ’s face is racked with pain, but he pushes through and makes it to his feet. AJ stumbles and falls to one knee, but soon is back to his feet again. Rick finally stirs and AJ quickly grabs him and puts him in position to begin the That’s Phenomenal cradle piledriver. AJ tries to lift him, but the pain in his back hinders him. AJ tries again and gets him half way up, but has to stop. Rick seizes the opportunity and hits a low blow!

COLE
Oh son of a bitch!! I know, I know, there are no rules.

CABOOSE
Unless that old fart finds low blows too offensive as well!!

Rick then places the ladder on the mat and grabs AJ with a reverse chinlock before signaling for the end.

COLE
Please don’t tell me he’s going to hit the Superman’s Dead on the ladder!

CABOOSE
That would make my night!!

Rick then lifts AJ up with an inverted vertical suplex, but AJ slips out and hits a Reverse DDT on Rick, barely missing the ladder.

COLE
Oh thank God!!

COACH
I don’t think I could have watched that!

CABOOSE
Dammit what happened?? You were so quiet for awhile I was almost happy Coach!

AJ then stands and raises his arms in the air as the fans rise to their feet and cheer. AJ then grabs Rick for another attempt at That’s Phenomenal, but this time he straddles the fallen ladder.

CABOOSE
Oh no!! Now what do you have to say about this Cole!?

COLE
I say go for it!!

AJ then pulls with all his might, through the pain, hooks his legs in front of Rick’s arms and hits the Good Taste on the ladder!!!

COLE
Styles Clash on the ladder!!!

CABOOSE
Abe get out here now!!!

Rick’s head hit the ladder hard and as the camera zooms in we see a trickle of blood from his forehead! AJ sees the blood and gets a look on his face like that of a madman!

CABOOSE
No!!! Get him out of the ring now!!!

AJ then grabs Rick’s head and pounds away at the cut with hard right hands! The fans are going absolutely crazy as AJ even gnaws at the wound!

CABOOSE
Cannibal!!! He’s a cannibal!!

Rick screams in pain as AJ bites his head and then AJ slams Rick face first into the ladder. Rick comes up with blood just pouring down his face and AJ grabs him by the right arm and hooks a Hammerlock in. AJ then lifts Rick up and tosses him forward so that he lands on the ladder with his right arm still behind him! Rick cries out in pain and holds his arm as AJ plays to the insane crowd!

COLE
Yeah!!! AJ is not dead!! He is still in this!!

AJ shows some effects from his last series of moves as he holds his back and waits for Rick to stand. As Rick stands AJ grabs him by the right arm and forces him down into a Fujiwara Armbar!! The fans erupt as AJ yanks back hard and Rick is screaming his heart out!

COLE
Sadly there are no submissions in ladder matches!

CABOOSE
Yeah! So why is he doing this!?

COACH
To soften him up! Duh!

CABOOSE
Don’t ever say duh to me again!

Rick begins to tap out, but the ringside ref shakes his head no. Rick then scoots himself slowly towards the ropes and places a foot on the ropes. AJ mistakenly lets go of the hold and pulls Rick up by the arm.

COLE
He didn’t have to let go!

CABOOSE
Yes he did!!

By this time Rick’s face is a crimson mask. Every painful cry sends blood spraying from his lips as AJ twists his arm into an Arm Wringer. AJ then armdrags Rick across the ring, but the move causes AJ pain in his back. AJ comes up slow as Rick pulls himself up and notices AJ’s pain. Rick then reaches his hand up and sees the blood on his hand, which infuriates him and he lands a soccer-like kick to AJ’s balls that sends AJ to the mat! Rick then pulls the ladder to the center of the ring with his good arm and then pulls AJ to his feet.

CABOOSE
It’s on now punk!!

Rick grabs AJ’s head and Bulldogs him right into the ladder as hard as he can with his good arm. Rick then grabs AJ by the head and begins bouncing AJ’s skull off the ladder as if it were a basketball!

RICK
You son of a bitch!!!

Rick holds AJ’s head by the hair and slaps the hell out of him before pulling him up and whipping him to the corner. Rick then grabs the ladder and shoves it forward so that it smacks AJ in the face and comes to rest on top of him in the corner. Rick then moves the ladder aside, wipes blood from his face, and hits a hard open hand strike to AJ’s chest, leaving a bloody hand print and a loud echoing smack!

COLE
That is just sick!!

COACH
I’m going to be sick!

Rick then turns AJ around in the corner so that his back is facing him and replaces the ladder on top of him. He then backs up and hits a Dropsault to the ladder that sandwiches AJ between the ladder and the corner!

COLE
Dammit no!!

Rick shoves the ladder down and tosses AJ over the top rope to the floor. He then signals to the crowd that it’s over and sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring.

*The fans are just flooding the arena with boos and chants of “A-J, A-J?

Rick starts climbing the ladder as AJ pushes himself slowly off the mat with a look of pain on his face that would make you cry. Somehow AJ is just dragging himself to his feet by pulling on the ring apron as Rick nears the top of the ladder. AJ then drags himself into the ring and crawls to the ladder.

COLE
Come on!!

COACH
Is there still blood?? *Covers his eyes with his hands*

Rick reaches

And

Just touches the belt when AJ, still off his feet, but in the ring, manages to shake the ladder with his hands. Rick almost looks insulted by the weak attempt and goes after the belt again. AJ then begins yanking on the bottom of the ladder as hard as he can from his stomach and Rick becomes really angry. Rick jumps down and begins stomping on AJ before pulling him up and tossing him over the top rope again, but Rick turns away too soon and doesn’t see AJ somehow hook a rope and land on the apron!

COLE
He’s not all the way out!!

AJ holds on for dear life as he halfway hangs off the apron, but doesn’t fall because of his death grip on the rope. Rick climbs the ladder again as AJ crawls across the mat and slowly pulls himself up by the rungs of the ladder. Rick notices him and gets a “what the hell?look on his face. Rick kicks AJ in the head a few times before climbing back up and reaching?br>

And.

No!! AJ grabs a hold of Rick’s foot and Rick can’t believe it!! AJ pulls himself up the ladder some more and finds himself side by side with Rick. Both men punch back and forth for control of the ladder, but neither will give! The fans are all on their feet cheering as each man teeters, but still holds on.

COLE
My God this is insane!!!

COACH
I’m gonna wet myself!

CABOOSE
Okay that’s it!!!

*A strangling noise is heard over the headsets*

RIGHT HAND BY AJ…RICK HOLDS ON!!!

RIGHT HAND BY RICK…AJ HOLDS ON!!!

RIGHT HAND BY AJ AND?

RICK MANAGES TO HOLD ON!!

Rick grabs AJ by the head and slams him face first into the ladder, but AJ still holds on. AJ then takes a wild swing and Rick ducks. He then grabs AJ’s outstretched arm, wraps it around AJ’s neck, jumps out and?

NAILS THE ROUGH BREAK NECKBREAKER OFF THE LADDER!!!!!

COLE, COACH, AND CABOOSE *All at once*
HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

AJ lands hard and lets out the most awful scream as Rick lands hard too and holds his arm in pain!!

*THE FANS: “HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!?

Rick pulls himself up by one arm and starts to climb the ladder.

COLE
Get up AJ!!

CABOOSE
Stay down!!

Rick slowly scales the ladder by one arm as AJ lies motionless on the mat.

CABOOSE
Climb up!!!

COLE
Fall down!!

Rick makes it to the top and reaches for it?br>

And

He

Gets it!!!!

*Ding Ding Ding*

*The fans raise a loud boo in unison as Rick holds up the X-Title, exhausted and bloody.*

COLE
Dammit!!!

CABOOSE
Yes!! That was awesome!!

COACH
I can’t believe he won it!!

MICHAEL BUFFER
Here’s your winner and new X-Division Champion!!! RICK EDWARDS!!!!

*Tear Away plays as Rick climbs back down and watches as trainers come out to check on AJ, who still hasn’t moved.*

COLE
What a travesty! That man is not the kind of man you want representing the X Division!

*Rick exits the ring and holds his X Title high as the fans toss garbage at him. He then heads to the back as the trainers help AJ to his feet. AJ looks like he just went through hell as they help him to the back.*
 

[Chanel #99]

CLOSE UP - J.R.'s face.

The camera pulls back to reveal Jivin' J.R., microphone in hand, standing at the backstage interview position (Blackboard with the SO logo written in chalk).

J.R.
Would you please stand as I welcome the men who will be making their first OAOAST tag team title defense -- Dan Black, T-Bod...Black T.

Black T enter the picture, proudly wearing the gold around their waist.

J.R.
I just wanna let you guys know, I'll do whatever it takes to help you, cum.

Dan & T-Bod just look at each other, wondering if they heard what they think they did.

DAN
I-I-I beg your pardon?

J.R.
I was always a big hand down at the farm.

J.R.'s last comment further befuddles the guys.

J.R.
You know, what are friends for?

DAN
Oh, you meant "chum"? (chuckling) For a minute there -- you know, you living on the farm and all...

T-BOD
There's an old saying: "You always remember your first time." Now Scotty Static and Johnny "Jam" Jackson might not be no Jill Rohm, but I promise you Black T will remember their first time, while GPX will recognize our victory against them in the tag tournament finals was no fluke. Tell them, Dan.

DAN
There's a cultural difference between us and GPX: they're young, jive-talkin' horny males, who are more concerned about binge drinking and committing statutory rape; Black T is high society. We are success. We're the envy of every 9-5 working man and woman. Our role model is Michael Douglas' Gordon Gekko character from Wall Street, for God's sake. "Greed is good. Greed is right." I tell you boys -- and I mean, boys -- something. Me & Tony didn't join forces just to lose in our first title defense. We're here to become the most dominate tag team this company has ever seen. Our skills are impeccable. Our resources make fortune 500 companies look like a mom and pop business. You better be ready. Me & T-Bod are.

T-BOD
See you in 5.

T-Bod smooches the camera.

J.R.
Those are my boys! The tag team champions of the OAOAST. And tonight, you'll witness them cush those rejects from Fast Times At Ridgemount High. Let's send it over to my colleague, "Mean" Gene whose standing by with the eventually losers.

MEAN GENE
Thank you, J.R. Standing with me are the challengers for the tag team titles -- the Global Party Xchange.

SCOTTY STATIC & JOHNNY "JAM" JACKSON
(together)
Yo, Gino!

JOHNNY
I gotta say Gino, me & Scotty (imitating static) have better watchin' ya since we were lil', throwin' the wildest parties in daycare.

GENE
Those must've been some parties.

JOHNNY
You betcha. The sh -- I mean poop -- was flying, diapers being torn off, rockin' out to "Fight For Your Right (To Party). Dang, yo, those were the days. We always watched ya with a hot chica we called "'Mean' Genna."

GENE
Mean Genna?!

JOHNNY
Yep. A cute little lady, brown hair, hazel eyes.

GENE
That was my daughter?!

JOHNNY
Whoa, baby! Gino, daddy, we didn't know blood. We didn't know. Maybe we should of, though. I don't recall 4 year olds having a 'stache. She was hot anyways. You bring the genes, Gene. Say a lil' somethin'-somethin' for the pub-lic, S-Man.

SCOTTY
Yo, peoples, peeps, bros, sistas, 'cuz, homies. Scotty...

Johnny once again imitates static.

SCOTTY (CONT'D)
...here to give you the 411 on tonight's tag title match, and you don't have to dial up a 900 number -- sorry Gino -- only to "accidently" call a phone sex service, like our friend T-Bod.

Johnny leaves the interview position. A secondary camera in the room catches JJ taking over the hard camera. Now back on the hard camera, Jackson ZOOMS IN & OUT of focus while Scotty playfully showcases an array of poses.

SCOTTY
The G-to-the-P-to-the-X has ordered up a helping hand of feud with Black T. Like a comic book, we're open up to interpretation. It took Babe to beat us for the titles in the tourny of tag, then the following week my boy Johnny "Jam" got an out of body experience from T-Bod. Then this past Thursday, I took care of business by blacking out Dan.

JOHNNY
What's that supposed to mean, huh?

SCOTTY
Yo, Johnny, it don't mean nothin'. I'm just explaining to our clan what went down between us and BT. It don't mean nothin'.

JOHNNY
Is it always about wins and losses? Don't forget who's older and stronger on this team.

SCOTTY
Come on, Johnny. Winning isn't always being first...sometimes, winning is just finishing.

JOHNNY
Where the hell did you get that from?

SCOTTY
A calender.

As the fire grows in Johnny, Scotty becomes more worried the team may implode before they even reach the ring.

JOHNNY
Look at me! Look at me!

Johnny gets face-to-face with Scotty.

JOHNNY
I'm just kiddin', dawg.

Johnny begins laughing hysterically as camera crews storm the area, followed by ASHTON KUTCHER, laughing his ass off!

JOHNNY
You just got punk'd!

SCOTTY
(playfully hitting JJ)
Damn, dude, you had me. You own me, fool.

Ashton shakes hands with the boys and Gene.

SCOTTY
Yo, where's Demi?

ASHTON
She's watching from a skybox.

GENE
I take it you're quite the fan?

ASHTON
Oh, yeah. Not only am I a huge fan of the OAOAST (watch all the pay-per-views, and attend many live events as I can) I've known this two wild and crazy guys for a couple of years now. They'll also have guest starring roles on That's 70s Show next season, with a few other OAOAST names. I hope to see my favorite tag team win the straps tonight.

JOHNNY
All we want are those shiney gold belts around Black T's waists.

SCOTTY
I'm feelin' oh so good, so here's a little something that'll be on our first album, which will be released later this year.
(Singing)
Come and listen to a market called the Global Party Xchange
Two party animals, tearin' up the fed
Then one day we was shootin for some gold,
And then came the waddlin' from a totally uncool jivester,

JOHNNY
Dickheads, Black T.

SCOTTY (CONT'D)
Well the next thing you know good ol' J.R. causes us the match,
Stephen Joseph said "What a travesty that is"
Said "GPX should get a rematch, but Black T will decide what stipulation it is"
So we par-tay throughout nightclubs, scoring with some chicks, awaiting our rematch

JOHNNY
School's Out: Class Dismissed, that is. Straight-forward wrestling match, no gimmicks. We gonna party up and throw down tonight!

SCOTTY
Yahtzee~!

GPX and Kutcher goof around for the cameras as Gene tosses it back to 3-C.

GENE
There you have it. A little bit of everything here -- humor, singing, and Scotty getting Punk'd by his partner and Ashton Kutcher. Ha! Personally, I think Ashton is a major ass-wipe. If Demi Moore was rockin' the cradle with me, she wouldn't need to date men who could be her son. I'd bang her so hard. (thrusting his pelvis) Yeah, you like that, don'tcha? Ooh, oh, ah. Harder? Yeah, you dirty, dirty girl. Yeaaaah!

DIRECTOR (Off Screen)
Control yourself, Gene. We're still rollin'.

GENE (CONT'D)
Um...uh... Right now on option 2 of the OAOAST Hotline, you can listen to Chairman of the Board of Directors "Cowboy" Bill Watts give his thoughts about the direction the OAOAST, and E-Fed's in general are going in. But the major story -- What former OAOAST Champion is in major trouble with the authorities? Reports say the District Attorney is looking for life in prison, and former associates are coming forward against the former champion. What does the OAOAST have to do with the next James Bond motion picture? Stephen Joseph vs. Jesse "The Body" Ventura for the Presidency of the United States of America in 2008? What did the former Executive Producer of OAOAST Entertainment say to spark that thought, and what bombshell did he drop about who'd he pick as his running mate? Can somebody say Body vs. Body? And why was OAOAST Champion Zack Malibu detained at JFK Airport for two and a half hours Friday morning? Plus who's the tougher shit: Jack or Bull? You can find out about all this and more by calling the OAOAST Hotline at: 1-800-909-9000. That number again: 1-900-909-9900. Kids under 18 get your parents permission before calling. $2.99 a minute. But call right now!
 

[Chanel #99]

* DING DING DING DING *

BUFFER
"School's Out: Class Dismissed" continues with the battle for the OAOAST tag team championship of the world. 4 men, two teams, two title belts. But only one pair will walk out with the gold. Introducing first, the OAOAST presents, Scotty Static, Johnny "Jam" JACKSON -- the Global Party Xchange!

"Make Her Say" by O-Town starts up, as strobe lights start to flicker...

In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees,
there finally emerges a group
which has come to set the record straight.
so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard
can you say uhhh na na na na...

When the heavy beat kicks in, the lights go spastic...Static (sporting the new GPX jersery, available now at OAOASTshopzone) and Jackson come barrelling out from the back, rockin' their heads to the beat and bustin' out some dance moves to the delight of their peeps. The entranceway quickly becomes filled with panties (all sizes and designs, including SpongeBob Squarepants) and little pieces of paper (which have phone numbers written on them).

COLE
The fans in attendence are lovin' this. Perhaps the most beloved tag team in the OAOAST today.

CABOOSE
My sources tell me Black T is the most "beloved" tag team in the company today.

COLE
And I'm sure you're the most beloved OAOAST champion, right?

CABOOSE
As a matter of fact, I am.

COLE
How long did you hold the title again?

CABOOSE
Longer that Alfdogg.

COACH
Un. F'N. Called. For.

The teenybopper music of GPX fades out to the manly "Quiet."

BUFFER
Their opponents, followed to the ring by the self-proclaimed "Farmer of Champions" Jivin' J.R. First from London, England, he was once apart of the famous "Mystery Weirdness Connection." Now, he is partners with another legend. His cold persona has labeled him the "Ice Heart." Not only is he one-half of the world tag team champions, he has also held the titles of Adrenaline and General Manager of IZ. Coming to the ring is the "Ice Heart" Dan Black! His partner -- under his leadership the OAOAST became a force not only within the parody e-fed world but in mainstream entertainment as well -- from Hollywood U.S.A., he's simply ravishing, T-Bod! They are the OAOAST tag team champions of the world...Black T~!

Black T take a moment to pose at the entraceway, their "manager" Jivin' J.R. tries to join in but is repeatedly pushed back. As they head to the ring, Dan and Tony look at the crowd in disgust while holding up the titles with great pride. Dan mocks one fan by pretending he's flipping a burger with a spatula, a reference to Black T's theory of life: There are winners and losers. And, yes...they (Black T) are winners.

CABOOSE
Look at 'em! I haven't seen the titles shine like that in ages. It's wonderful to finally see a team proud to be our champions. At this time everybody should get on their knees and pray to whatever God they worship, that Black T retain the titles and give you a reason to continue living your sad, miserable lives. Can I get an amen?

COACH
Amen.

J.R. jives over to SOFA CENTREL!

COLE
What's this?

J.R.
Get up, Michael, I'm here to take my spot back. Up, I say!

COLE
Look, J.R., I don't want any problems.

J.R.
If you get your ass up, there won't be.

COACH
Yo, just give 'em your spot, M.C.

Cole looks J.R. right in the eye as he hands over his headset to the original voice of the OAOAST. "See, it wasn't that hard was it?" asks J.R. Cole shakes his head, then is met with a kick to his groin, he drops to his knees, whimpering.

J.R.
Good ol' J.R. back in the saddle, and I gotta say it still feels the same. Although I gotta get my ass imprint back on this seat.

CABOOSE
Welcome, J.R. Big fan.

COACH
What?

J.R.
Nice to be with you, Caboose. Don't know if I can say the same for Blacula over there. You know, that sonuvabitch tried to take over my spot some months ago, same thing for Michael Cole. Together those two couldn't fill my chair.

CABOOSE
I can see why. Nobody likes them anyway. They all watch our shows for Caboose and what I'll say next. Now I'm joined with the original voice of the OAOAST, this is great.

J.R.
The buyrates just went up another million buys.

CABOOSE
(laughing)
That's right.

* DING DING DING *

J.R.
Alright, here we go with the tag title match, those dirtbags GPX vs. my boys, Black T -- Sir Roger Moore's favorite tag team. Dan & T-Bod are saints -- I say, saints. You know, Caboose, I'm like a proud papa when it comes to Black T. Sometimes it looks like they went me outta the way -- but what child doesn't feel that way about their parents?

CABOOSE
Absolutely. I agree. You raised some mighty fine talent, J.R.

J.R.
It was about damn time, too. Nathan Jones, Albert -- they're guys I raised as well, but the pesticides must've damaged them. Black T are a little Midnight Express, Road Warriors, Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard rolled up into one. T-Bod's the son of a highly respected gyneclogist, mother was an actress, trained by the late great Hiro Matsuda, who also trained guys like Hulk Hogan and Lex Luger, but we all know T-Bod is a helluva lot better those two combined. Hogan has told the infamous story where Hiro broked his ankle during his first day of training, so you know you're a badass if you can survive his camp. T-Bod is also a former high school football player of the year, an All-American at the University of Texas, would've won the Heisman Trophy but told the NCAA to let one of the less fortunate have it instead, was projected to be the #1 pick in the NFL draft before deciding to get involved in wrestling and eventually the OAOAST as Executive Producer and later as a wrestler. Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells has said T-Bod could've been one of the all-time great Quaterbacks in NFL history, right up there with the Unitas', the Joe Montanas, Troy Aikmans, Marinos, Farves, I can go on and on. You know why Tony could've been one of the all-time greats?

CABOOSE
I live in the U.K. so I can't say I'm familiar with American football, tell me why though.

J.R.
Well, son, American football is a man's sport -- guys beat the hell outta each other. On the football field QBs are the leaders of their team, and T-Bod is a born leader. So is Dan for that matter.

Dan Black & Scotty Static start it off for their respective teams. After some consultation with his partner T-Bod, Dan Black and Scotty Static lock up. Smoothly, Static armdrags Black. Again and again. Dan bails outside the ring to shake off any ill-effects. Back in, he goes. Collar-and-elbow tieup...wham...knee to the gut, Static slouches over allowing Dan to hit a kneelift. The champs immediately take advantage as Dan whips SS into their corner. T-Bod's tagged in. He goes right to work on Scotty's back, by using his massive forearms to weaken the ribcage, which is one of the many points affected by the "Out of Body Experience" spinebuster. T-Bod uses the laces of his boots to rake the eyes. SS falls to one knee, very close to Black T's corner, rubbing his eyes. Tag made. From the ring apron, Dan jumps between the second, driving his feet (much like a missle dropkick) into Static's face.

1...2...Kickout!

J.R.
What educated feet by Dan. No surprise as he was recruited by Manchester United -- the New York Yankees of soccer -- but turned them down to follow his goal of becoming a professional wrestler. As a matter of fact, Dan holds the record of having scored the most goals in a junior league game -- 100. A lot of people think he poured it on well after the game was over, but, folks, until the whistle/buzzer sounds, the game continues.

Another tag made by the champs, their third; none yet by GPX. Black T have done an excellent job keeping the ring in half.

In one crisp swoop, SS takes T-Bod down with a droptoe hold, then summersault's to his corner, making the tag to his partner Johnny "Jam" Jackson. To huge cheers Jackson moonwalks his way towards T-Bod, who's just getting up after the droptoe hold, 360s and connects with a hard right, sending down God's gift to women. Excited by the shift of momentum Scotty Static lets out his trademark "YAHTZEE~!" from the ring apron while Johnny gives a brief dancing lesson to the public.

J.R.
Come on, referee, this isn't "Dance Fever!"

COACH
It ain't "Showtime at the Apollo" or "Soul Train," either.

CABOOSE
And there's no such thing as "peace, love, and soul."

As Dan climbs into the ring, so does Scotty Static. Jackson sees Dan coming at him from the corner of his eye giving him time to block Dan's punch and hit Dan with one of his own. GPX go global on Dan, nailing him with punches. They whip him to the ropes...what elevation!...DOUBLE TEAM HIPTOSS! GPX kip-up and send Dan over-the-top with a double team dropkick. The crowd is going crazy!

SPLIT SCREEN: GPX take this short "intermission" to bust out some hot and heavy dance moves, while on the outside, Black T are kicking the guardrails and slamming their fists on the aprons in frustration.

J.R.
Black T is having some technial difficulties. I'll be right back.

COACH
Now that J.R. is gone I can talk a bit more.

CABOOSE
Shut up, Blacula!

Black T and J.R. huddle outside. The crowd is still going wild, the cameras can barely pick up T-Bod saying, "Let's keep the match at our pace. Right now everything is going for them. There's no time limit! Keep it at our pace. You're shoulders need to be down for 3 seconds, so all this shit (refering to the cheering) doesn't mean a thing. 'Black T' on three. One, two, thr...Oof!" Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson came flying through the air, landing on Dan, T-Bod and J.R.

CABOOSE
What in the...?

COACH
I didn't catch it, either. We were all paying attention to what T-Bod was sayin' then everybody went down. I understand we're going to get a replay shortly. Here-Here it is.

OAOAST Be Kind, Rewind
Presented by Blockbuster Video
Available Now: The Brady Bunch In The White House DVD -- Starring Shelley Long & Gary Cole

Wideshot of Black T on the outside: Scotty Static jumps onto the apron, springboards back inside the ring...Meanwhile Johnny "Jam" hits the ropes...simultaneously, kamikazelike Static & Jackson deliver THE SHOOTING STAR LARIAT (on T-Bod & Dan) and a PLANCHA (nailing J.R.) respectively. JJ slides T-Bod back in the ring. He places T-Bod's head between his legs, lifts him up...powerbomb!...into the Boston Crab (the crowd senses what's coming)...Static double underhooks T-Bod's arms...BOOM -- CHAIN LETTER~!

COACH
I hate receiving those.

The ref orders Scotty out of the ring, Jimmy with the cover.

1...

2...

3 -- No! Dan connects with a kneedrop off the top. Just a split second away from crowning new champions.

The crowd sighs in disbelief. At the right hand corner of the screen, we can see J.R. resting his head on the apron, he too is stunned -- yet thrilled -- that Dan was able to make the save. Back on the apron Dan encourages T-Bod to make the tag. The chant of "JAM! JAM! JAM!" reverberates throughout the arena as the crowd attempts to give Johnny strength to tag in Scotty Static. Tony tags in Dan. Jimmy ducks an attempted clothesline, summersaults his way to his corner, and leaps to his partner -- but Dan sends Scotty down with a stiff forearm shot just as Johhny was about to make the tag. NIGHTSHADE (Dragon Suplex)!

1...

2...

Jimmy just gets his shoulder up. T-Bod tags in.

COACH
What an amazing turn of events. GPX was rockin' and rollin' then one kneedrop changes everything. Jimmy must have a concussion, he hasn't been the same since takin' that shot from Dan.

T-Bod drives a knee into JJ's throat, sending him rolling around in pain -- and a warning by the referee. T kicks Jackson in the head then drops his knee on his throat, this time choking him. He pretends like he's tired as he gets another warning by the ref. T-Bod pleads his case but the referee isn't buying it, he knows T-Bod is using the knee to choke Jimmy.

COACH
In case you've just joined us--

CABOOSE
If you did, you're a moron! This is the OAOAST. And this has been one helluva show. Not to mention one helluva match we're witnessing for the tag team titles, currently held by Black T.

COACH
You'd make a great customer service rep.

CABOOSE
Tired it one time, was fired in 15 minutes.

COACH
Why?

CABOOSE
Eh, the boss said I was too rude. Can you believe that?

COACH
Sadly, yes. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. In case you just joined us, Michael Cole was...uh...

CABOOSE
De-balled. Jivin' J.R. kicked Cole in the balls after he -- stupidly, I might add -- didn't want to let the original voice of the OAOAST join us at the booth.

COACH
Yes, that is correct. J.R. joined us; went to help his boys and got caught in the crossfire. Now it's yours truely, The Coach, and Caboose callin' the action. Michael will rejoin us after this match.

JJ throws a couple of weak punches, which don't even faze the 6'6, 292 pound stud. T-Bod's eyes become "bug-eyed" as J.R. would say, Johnny low blowed the co-holder of the tag titles. JJ rocks Tony "The Body" with rights, lefts, and judo chops. After the pain subsides T-Bod begins fighting back, exchanging wild punches with Jackson. "Jam" blocks a right, wraps his right arm under T-Bod's, goes behind him, wraps his left arm around T-Bod, lifts up...FULL NELSON SLAM~! The crowd lets out a "Ha. Ha." ala the Nelson character from "The Simpsons."

1...

2...

No! Again, Dan disrupts the count. This time dropping a double-axe handle across the back of Jackson. But the results are slightly different this time as well, as JJ sends Dan to the outside with a dropkick. Dan gets up quickly and takes a swing at Johhny who ducked. T-Bod charges towards Johnny, but he moves out of the way, sending T-Bod into Dan, knocking him back down and allowing Johnny to school boy T.

1...

2...

Kickout!

The crowd lets out a collective sigh. They're now on their feet.

COACH
I know this phrase is overused a lot, but what a match!

CABOOSE
Overused, yes. But it's been a good while since the tag division has had this type of intensity.

The two exchange punches and chops midring, Johnny finally takes control until T-Bod thumbs him in the eye. Irish whip. T-Bod is going "for the move he's signature to do" as Dusty Rhodes once said. Tony squats to prepare to lift Johnny up for the Out of Body Experience spinebuster, but JJ jumps over him for a sunset flip. Bad mistake. While Johnny is the bigger and stronger of GPX, his 6'1, 215 pound frame is no match for T-Bod who lifts him up by the throat and executes THE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE spinebuster!

1...

2...

COACH
No! Scotty Static just came off the top with a Hotlanta Jam (Legdrop from the top). Dan Black & Jivin' J.R. are furious, but they did the same thing themselves. All of this is about one thing: the OAOAST tag team titles. Both Dan & Scotty cheer on their fallen partners. The crowd, still on their feet, reboot the "JAM! JAM! JAM!" chants. Who'll make the tag first?

Johnny & T-Bod slowly crawl to their corners, a massive amount of energy already used by both. T-Bod is the first to make the tag. Dan once again tries to stop Johnny from making the tag but to no avail this time. Scotty jumps over the top rope from the apron, hitting Dan with a spinwheel kick. Scotty rubs his hands through his hair, jumping up and down in the process, he's jacked up like never before! T-Bod charges Scotty from behind, but he moved and T-Bod goes chest-first into the turnbuckle. Scotty smashes T-Bod's & Dan's head together. Double Coconut! Black T stumble around the ring, dazed. Their butts bump into each other, thinking they bumped into a member of GPX, both men swing at each other...WHAM! T-Bod slumps over immediately, Dan continues to stagger around the ring...

COACH
I can't believe this. The tag champs are reeling. Is tonight the night all the GPX supports finally get their wish and witness the crowning of new champions?

CABOOSE
No way! It's all part of the script. I'm sure Dan's gonna fall to the outside, then Scotty would miss some high-risk move.

On cue Dan falls outside while Scotty runs the ropes, using T-Bod's back as a springboard (he's slouch over), crashing all his weight onto Dan.

COACH
You were saying?

CABOOSE
Must've been a rewrite.

In the ring, "Jam" slowly climbs the ropes... He whacks T-Bod with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE, nearly taking his head off in the process. JJ looks at the crowd, asking "One more?" The crowd is behind him every step of the way as he goes back to the top...again he jumps off...but Tony "The Body" catches his arm midair and applies the HEART OF ICE (Crippler Crossface).

COACH
Tony is using one of Dan's finishers.

CABOOSE
Dan must've taught him that. That's what teamwork is all about Coach! Everybody knows about the extensive training sessions Dan & Tony go through.

COACH
Scotty & Dan are the legal men.

Scotty jumps from the apron to the top rope, facing the crowd, then motions to the heavens before twisting midair to face the ring...

The crowd holds their collective breaths...

The Heart of Ice is stilled applied on Johnny, he doesn't know Scotty is getting ready to go on an air-raid. T-Bod tugs JJ's head back trying to add more pressure to the hold, but doing so allows Scotty a clear shot at executing... STATIC SHOCK~!

COACH
Whoa, baby!

CABOOSE
Coach!?

COACH
What?

CABOOSE
Coach!?

COACH
What!?

CABOOSE
Look at Dan.

Dan reenters the ring, spins Scotty around...kick to the midsection, BLACKOUT (Stone Cold Stunner).

1...

2...

3!

* DING DING DING *

BUFFER
The winners of the match, and still OAOAST tag team champions of the world, Dan Black, T-Bod...Black T!

COACH
What a wild finish that was. To be honest with ya, I thought GPX was taking this one home. While Black T prides themselves on being able to adapt to any style, it was clear to me they were having trouble stopping the air assault.

CABOOSE
I'll give credit where credit is due, GPX put up a helluva effort. But you can help but see GPX is a team without a clear objective; they have no goal. No soul, if you will. You know who Black T are, not GPX. And that's why Black T walked out with the gold. GPX's career accomplishment: Getting owned by Black T! It'll be interesting to see where the champs go from here.

COACH
We'll be back after this quick word

ANGLEMANIA IV

IT BUILDS UP ITSELF, LIKE THE HULK~!

COMING MARCH 2005
 

[Chanel #99]

COLE
What a contest that was, and--

Cole is cut off by the sounds of Sevendust's "Black" as Hoff steps out onto the ramp. In his streetclothes, the 24/7 Title over his shoulder, Hoff looks out across the jeering crowd with a mocking grin on his face.

CABOOSE
Woo-hoo! More Hoff, I love it!

COLE
Hoff's not scheduled to be out here, but--

CABOOSE
Who cares, Mikey! Just enjoy the ride!

COLE
You know, you never used to like Hoff, what's with the change!

Hoff walks down the ramp, jawing with the fans. One fan spits at him, but Hoff simply steps back out of the way/

CABOOSE
Are you blind? Do you even have to ask? LOOK at this man, Cole! This is a man who has finally realized how great he can be!

COLE
Great?!

CABOOSE
Look at him! Hoff has finally realized that he needs to look out for himself. And now, he's running with the best in the business, and he's got a title to boot!

Hoff climbs the ring steps and enters the ring, raising his hands in the air and smiling as the arena drowns him in boos.

COLE
Hoff stealing--

CABOOSE
Aw!

COLE
STEALING that 24/7 belt from Crystal earlier this evening, and...

CABOOSE
Oh shhh, quiet now, Cole. You too, Coach.

Coach says nothing, watching in silence as Hoff takes a microphone from the ring announcer. Hoff walks to the center of the ring, raisies the mic to his lips to speak -- then lowers it, smirking as the fans' boos grow louder and louder.

FANS
ASS-HOLE, ASS-HOLE!

COLE
These fans are giving it to Hoff.

CABOOSE
They just don't recognize greatness.

Hoff chuckles slightly, then raises the mic to his lips again...before pulling it back down as the boos swell.

CABOOSE
They hate him...they genuinely hate this man. And I love it.

COLE
Will you stop.

Hoff finally raises the mic and speaks.

HOFF
You know...

Hoff pauses as the "asshole" chant picks up yet again, and shakes his head.

HOFF
You know...the best part is that we had you all fooled.

The fans boo, and a few throw cups and other items toward the ring.

HOFF
We had you all, from the very beginning. And rest assured, this has been a long time coming. But from the first night I spoon-fed you all that line about cleaning up this place, you've been eating out of the palm of my hand. Hell, since I shook hands with CWM -- a man I retired -- you haven't been able to get enough of me.

COLE
Is he honestly saying he retired CWM?

CABOOSE
He did!

HOFF
Well, here's your chance to get a good, long look.

Hoff raises the 24/7 Title in the air as a "you suck" chant picks up in the crowd.

HOFF
You see, I've told you before, and I'll tell you again -- I am the future of this industry. And it's high time I started looking out for myself. So when Zack Malibu called me up and asked me to join him and Calvin in what would be the greatest supergroup in pro wrestling history, I told him, "you bet your ass, I'm in." And from that moment on, while you people brayed like sheep, the wheels were in motion. And you are now witness to the most dominant force in wrestling: The Thrillogy.

The fans boos, somehow, swell up even louder.

HOFF
And while we're talking about history, I better remind you all to mark this date down on your calendars. Mark it down, because this is the beginning of the first title run in the career of the most talented, most charismatic, and just plain greatest superstar in the history of this industry. And when it's all said and done, after all the main events and all the World Titles, all the memories, you'll be able to tell you kids, "I was there when Hoff got his first title. I was there when the man took his rightful place in the winners' circle. And let me assure you all, I am the man.

Hoff drops the microphone and climbs the turnbuckle, hoisting his title belt into the air as the fans spew venom toward him.

COACH
This is beyond contempt.

COLE
Hey, you said it, Coach-- hey, HEY WAIT!

The fans jeers suddenly turns to shrieks of delight as Axel comes barreling down the ramp!

COLE
It's AXEL!

Hoff, catching Axel out of the corner of his eye, hops down from the buckle and throws down his belt, waiting to meet Axel. Axel slides into the ring and charges, and before Hoff can react SPEARS~ him to the mat and begins clobbering him with punches!

COLE
Axel's out to avenge Crystal!

CABOOSE
Oh, man, come on!

Axel throws punches at Hoff, who rolls over onto Axel, which sends both men rolling out of the ring! Hoff tries to sneak off after they land, but Axel jumps him from behind and pummles away! As the fans cheer on, Axel grabs Hof and tosses him over the guardrail!

COLE
Axel is--

COACH
GET HIM AXEL! KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Axel and Hoff trade blows, with Axel getting the upper hand. They brawl, and brawl, and eventually Axel chases Hoff out of the arena.

COLE
Wow, what anger from Axel!

COACH
Yes. Axel is the man.

COLE
Well--

CABOOSE
No no no, Hoff is the man. Hoff is--

COACH
THAT'S IT! Caboose, if you say ONE MORE THING about that scumbag...

Caboose looks up at Coach, who is on his feet.

CABOOSE
....Fine. For now.

COLE
Try to calm down, Coach.

COACH
I know, I know. It's just...Crystal, you know! I get...weird.

COLE
It's okay, brah. Relax.

CABOOSE
Did you just call him a bra?

COLE
We're all set for our next contest tonight, so let's go!


MC
It's now time for our European Rounds format contest of the evening, as Sly Sommers faces former stable leader and member of the new controversial group the Thrillogy, Calvin Szechstein.

COACH
Like Michael said, not only has Calvin been busy setting in the betrayal on his former Totally Endorsed members, but just this past Thursday night, Hoff, Zack Malibu, and Calvin himself formed a group that, despite my extreme disrespect for the individuals, will be a force to watch out for: the Thrillogy.

CABOOSE
That's right, the Thrillogy will be a force to be reckoned with, and they will take over the entire universe, bitches!

COACH
But, with all this out-of-ring momentum that Calvin has, let's not forget that, in the only match he's had since losing his World Title at Anglemania III, he lost to Crystal on HeldDOWN~! this past Thursday, which doesn't signify a lot of momentum coming into this contest.

CABOOSE
You also have to point out that the wimp himself, Sly Sommers, thinks he has to prove himself to the fan favorites' locker room to show that he's no longer one of us. Let me save Sly some time by letting his fellow wussies know that, yes, Sly is now a giant vagina like yourselves. We sure as hell want nothing to do with him; you guys can have him.

MC
Anyway...let's take a look at the rules to the European Rounds match (which you can view via Powerpoint at this location).

COACH
As we saw on Thursday night, the rounds format can be both a blessing and a curse, as it will give your rests if you get tired, but will also hamper your momentum with the thirty-second rests.

CABOOSE
You also have to almost re-train your train of thought as a wrestler, as you aren't allowed to attack an opponent on the ground unless you've chained the move together with a legal hold or strike. Speaking from a wrestler's point of view, that's almost against our nature to follow.

MC
We've seen Sly win a match of this nature on HeldDOWN~!, but to say that Calvin Szechstein is of a different class than Tom Goran is an understatement. Let's go to the ring for this contest!

("Gimme Back My Bullets" starts up, and Sly Sommers come out looking as focused as ever. Colvid follows behind, carrying a bucket filled with ice and two water bottles, and a towel draped over his shoulder. Sly's mid-section is taped due to a back injury suffered on Thursday night via Calvin's chair attack.)

MC
One thing we forgot to mention was Calvin viciously attacking Sly with a chair after his European Rounds exhibition on Thursday night, and how it's left Sly's back slightly weakened. Outside of the slightly-wrapped mid-torso of Sommers, he doesn't seem to be showing it. That could be a tactical mistake, as the more he tries to act as if his back is at full strength, the more he is sure to strain it.

(Calvin's music hits, and he comes out with Hoff as his cornerman. Hoff cockily struts to the ring behind a slightly determined Cal, even squirting water from Calvin's water bottle at front row fans.)

COACH
Calvin looked to have a little ring rust on Thursday; let's see if it's worn off.

MC
And look at this jackass Hoff...he's gone from being one of the guys on this roster I admired greatly to being someone that I hate even looking at. What he did to Crystal as this show went on the air was TOTALLY uncalled for!

BUFFER
The foll.....

(Hoff takes the microphone away from Michael Buffer.)

HOFF
I'm sure you are a fine ring announcer, but I think I'm better suited for this job. Take a hike, Mike. (Hoff throws his fist back, and Buffer runs out of the ring) Now that he's gone, let's do some ring intros, shall we? Okay...(reading through cards)...eh, these sucks (tosses them and pulls his own out of his pocket). Introducing first, the douchebag in the corner to my left...weighing in tonight at a scrawny 89 pounds, from Gayside, California...he's apparantly wrestled before, but his in-ring skills sure don't show that to be fact...he is the World's Most Homosexual Man and the boy who will lose this match...The Guitarist from Quiet Riot...I mean Sly Sommers. Sorry, flamer.

(Sly gets agitated with Hoff's comments, as some fans cheer Sly and others boo Hoff.)

HOFF
And his opponent...weighing in tonight at a lean, mean, ripped, cut, muscular 197 pound of twisted steel, sex appeal, and lots of beal...from the glorious wrestling town that's produced such stars as Calvin Szechstein and...Calvin Szechstein of Milwaukee, Wisconsin; he is the man that brought Totally Endorsed to the forefront of the universe and then single-handedly brought it down with the force of his hand, and one of the reasons why the Thrillogy will rock this mutha like a hurricane until the day we die. He is the man who killed both disco and Glen Gilbertti! His accomplishments include: defeating Goliath months before David even became the number one contender to his crown, coming up with the idea to double-cross Caesar and murder him, defeating Lou Thesz multiple times in the months leading up to his first World Title victory, having sex with your girlfriend, and being a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. He is a true icon of life itself, and the MOTHERFUCKING JESUS of professional wrestling...he is Calvin Szechstein!

MC
Very...um, enthusiastic ring introduction by the third member of the Thrillogy, Hoff.

::BELL RINGS::

Both men circle the ring, trying to think of a way to get the match started in their favor. They both then collide with a collar-and-elbow lock-up. Sly uses that to drop down and attempt a fireman's carry takeover, but Cal clutches Sly by the neck and thigh, and ball-and-chains him over for a pin..........1.........Sly uses the momentum to lean back and apply a side headlock on the mat, but Cal leans back and kips out as both men come to their feet. They lock up again, and Cal locks in a wristlock. Sly then grabs the arm and reverses to one of his own.

MC
Very catch-as-catch-can thus far.

Sommers pulls Szechstein in for a headlock. Calvin squeezes his head out, and applies another wristlock on Sly. Sommers tries to find a reversal but can't, so he performs a headstand. Sly then kips back onto his feet and armdrags Cal. Both men come up, and Sly sends Calvin down with a shoulderblock. Sommers comes off of the ropes, but Cal brings him down with a drop toe hold, using it to transition to a bridging hammerlock.

COACH
Great use of his surroundings by Calvin.

Sly attempts to slowly roll out, but by the time he gets rotated, Cal positions himself and keeps Sly down with a headscissors. Sly kips out, Cal comes to his feet quickly, and they speedily lock hands for a Greco-Roman knucklelock. Sommers kicks away one of Cal's hands and pulls him in for a headlock. Calvin lifts Sly, and tosses him down to a seated position. He nearly goes for a kick to the spine, but then stops himself and remembers the rules of the match.

MC
That's exactly what we were discussing earlier: having to re-train your thought as a wrestler in this type of contest.

Sly slowly gets to his feet. When he does, Cal comes behind him, but Sly hooks Cal's head for a snapmare attempt. Cal reverses that by dropping down and bringing Sly over with a fireman's carry. Cal transitions that into a side headlock, but Sly quickly reverses to an inverted crucifix pin.........1...........2.............kickout. Both men come back up to their feet, and lock up again. Sly locks in a front chancery (single-underhook front facelock), and then twists through to lock in a cravate. Szechstein can't get his head out, so he actually climbs up Sly, hooks Sly's left arm, and brings him over and down with an armbar.

COACH
That move was very monkey-like in its ways.

Sly rolls backwards in an attempt to get out of the move, but Cal holds onto the armbar. Sly then attempts to lock a headscissors in, but Cal uses his right hand to hold Sly's top leg away. It takes Sly a while, but he figures out that the headscissors won't work. So, he goes to his back and kips up to his feet. Sly then grabs Cal's free arm, twists around, and brings him over with a backslide..........1............2..........kickout. Both men come back up, and Sly does a rolling leap behind Cal into a schoolboy, which he then transitions to a jackknife pin.....1.........2..........Cal kicks out, causing Sly to fall beside his head and lock in another headlock.

MC
It looks like Sly might be reverting to his strategy from Thursday of using the headlock as a major wear-down manuever.

Cal cannot get out of the predicament by simply pushing, so he rolls backwards and reverses Sly's headlock into a front facelock. Cal then rises to his feet, pulling Sly up in the front facelock in the process. Sly reverses that with a legsweep, and keeps ahold of the leg. Sly then goes for a spinning toe hold, but Calvin shoves Sly off with his free foot. Sly rolls through, and both get to their feet. Sly charges at Calvin, ducks a forearm, and scores with a reverse hammerlock transitioned into a headlock takedown.

CABOOSE
Isn't that illegal in seven European countries?

MC
No, but listening to your crappy commentary is.

Cal attempts the umpteenth headscissors of the contest, and gets it locked in. Sly kips up, and we are again at a stalemate as they lock up. Sly goes for a hiptoss, but Cal blocks. Cal then flips Sly backwards, but Sly lands on his feet. Sly uses the momentum to bring Cal over with an armdrag. Sly then grabs Calvin's ankle, and rolls him backwards onto his feet. Sly then locks in a cravate. Calvin attempts to roll out, but Sly rolls with him to keep the hold locked in. The momentum of the rolls bring both men back to their feet. Calvin then lifts Sly and attempts to toss him off. However, Sly holds onto the cravate and forces Calvin to roll along with him. Calvin then frantically tries to get Sly off of him. It seems like the more that he struggles, the stronger Sly's grip on the cravate gets. Cal then attempts to crawl to the ropes....

*DING* *DING*

MC
This signals the end of round one, a bell in which Calvin Szechstein is probably very thankful for ringing.

COACH
That's how rounds will benefit you, as if you're stuck in a predicament like that, it gives you an automatic out.

CABOOSE
Calvin was NOT in a compromising predicament. He was just playing around with your guys' heads. He was joking!

MC
Yeah, and I can grow wings and fly...

COACH
Aren't there wings on those tampons you bought.....?

MC
Dude, shut up!

*DING* *DING*

Round two begins as both men come to the ring and go for a Greco-Roman knucklelock. But, after locking one set of fists, Calvin brings Sly over with an armdrag. Cal then pulls Sly up by the arm and locks in a wristlock. Sly twists out backwards, and then brings Calvin over with a flying headscissors takeover. Both men come back up, Sly brings Calvin over with an armdrag, pulls him up by the arm, and locks in a front chancery. Calvin drops down to bring Sly over with a fireman's carry takeover, but Sly stays stationary.

MC
Sly is again keeping to the strategy of wearing the opponent down early so that the end of the match comes easier.

Calvin then comes to his feet and goes for a Northern Lights suplex. However, Sly lands on his feet behind Calvin and twists it back around into a front chancery. Sly drops Calvin to the ground, and then cradles him with a ball-and-chain.........1.........2......Calvin grabs Sly's arm and locks in a cross armbreaker. Sly gets to a standing position, as he literally has Calvin hanging off of his arm. Sly then repeatedly kicks Calvin in the spine. The referee declares this position a stalemate, and orders both men to drop their defense and seperate.

CABOOSE
That was a biased call by the referee; Cal just about got Sly to tap there!

Sly immediately goes for a cravate when getting up, but Cal brings him down with a Fujiwara armbar. Sly rolls through that, and then brings a staggered Szechstein over with a sunset flip.......1...........2.........kickout. Both men get up, and Calvin scores with a go-behind into a double chicken wing. Cal falls to his back with it, but Sly then rolls back to pin Calvin's shoulders to the mat..........1...........2..........kickout! Both men then lock up in a very strange grapple (Sly with side waistlock, Cal using a shoulderbar) that ends with Sly spinning Calvin around and taking him down to the mat.

MC
Very American Gladiator-esque move by Sly Sommers.

Sly keeps ahold of Cal, straddling his back, and rolls him through with the Gedoh Clutch........1............2.......kickout. Both men come back up, and Calvin bring Sly down with a Fujiwara armbar. Sly tries rolling out, but Cal manuevers himself frontward so that Sly can't roll through. Sommers then slowly crawls sideways. When he gets in front of Cal, he is able to slide his arm out from Cal and lock in a front facelock. Both come back to their feet while in that position, and Cal brings Sly over with a Northern Lights suplex..........1............2.........kickout. Both back up, and Calvin goes for a single-arm DDT. Sly reverses with a go-behind into a vicious reverse snapmare!

COACH
Calvin working over Sly's arm might not be working....

MC
It doesn't seem like he's even thinking like a wrestler and going after Sly's injured back.

Sly keeps ahold of Calvin's head and neck and goes for the Dragon Clutch. But, Cal is able to grab ahold of Sly and spin him off. Both men get up to their feet, and Szechstein goes for a charging kick. However, Sly catches the leg and shoves it down, forcing Cal to front-flip back-first onto the mat. Sly goes for the cover......1.....kickout, and both men come back up. Sly ducks a clothesline, and goes to the reverse waistlock. Sly then spins Calvin around and slams him to the mat.

MC
It looks as if Sly's using speed and neckwork to out-do his former leader.

CABOOSE
He's also cheating, I swear

MC
The only cheating I know of is you on your wife...

CABOOSE
Hey, the bitch had it comin'...she didn't give me good coffee this morning.

Cal pops up, and receives a dropkick for his efforts. Cal pops back up again, and ducks a forearm. He then hooks his arm under Sly's and goes for a hiptoss. However, Sly bounces by the back of his knees off of the top rope, and flips back to bring Cal over with an armdrag. Cal pops back up, and Sly jumps to wheelbarrow position. Sly then pushes himself upward, and brings Szechstein down with a bulldog!

COACH
It seems as if Sly's not afraid to wrestle at a faster pace, now that he has crowd support.

Sly goes for the pin........1...........2.........kickout. Cal stumbles to his feet. When he gets to a fully-standing position, Sly goes for a spinning headscissors takeover. Cal lands Sly on his feet to reverse, and locks in a high-angle shoulderbar. Sly can't just pull his arm out of the hold, so he twists around and locks in a cravate. Cal somehow is able to power his head out of the hold. He lifts Sly for a sideslam, but Sly reverses with a flying headscissors takeover into a victory roll.........1...........2...........

*DING* *DING*

COACH
That signifies the end of round two.

MC
You can again notice the bell saving Calvin's ass at the end of that round...

CABOOSE
Are you kidding me? That was a WEAK cradle. Coachman could have kicked out at two>

COACH
I could also insert myself inside of your sister...

MC
Dude, that's just wrong.

CABOOSE
::vomits::...Hey, I just lost ten pounds.

COACH
This is starting a chain reacti...::vomits::

MC
::vomits::

READERS ACROSS THE WORLD
::vomits::

*DING* *DING*

MC
Now that the upchucking is out of the way, let's get to round three.

Cal runs after Sly and literally dives at his left arm. Sly makes that attempt vull and noid, spinning behind Calvin and bringing him over with a schoolboy..........1...........kickout. Cal rolls backwards to his feet, but walks into a judo takeover into a side headlock on the mat. Sly pulls Calvin off of the mat with the headlock, and then performs a go-behind that positions Sly for the rolling prawn hold........1..........2........Calvin kicks out! When he does, the force causes Sly to flip into the corner, sending the edge of his spine hard into the top turnbuckle.

CABOOSE
That's it! Sly is DOWN!

MC
Well, that cannot be good for Sly's back.

COACH
This may be the early turning point in this contest, if Calvin can capitalize.

Cal then waits for Sly to get up. Sly slowly makes it to his feet, painfully clutching his back. Cal then comes up from behind and bring Sly over with a Russian legsweep into a side cover.........1........2.......kickout. Calvin pulls Sly off of the mat with a headlock, and then performs a go-behind. Cal grabs Sly by the neck and pulls him down onto his knee back-first. Calvin then pushes down on Sly's neck and thigh, creating a backbreaker submission.

CABOOSE
Calvin Szechstein is targetting Sly's hurt back like a shark targets the color red.

Sly gets out of the hold by slowly kneeing Szechstein in the face four times. Sommers then charges at Calvin when both men are standing, and goes for a Tornado DDT. Szechstein grabs Sly's legs in mid-air, repositions him, and brings him down with an F-U into a backbreaker! Szechstein keeps ahold of Sommers, and brings him down with an STO onto the knee. Szechstein then keeps Sly in place and locks in a choke from that position.

MC
Szechstein's looked like a machine in this round.

Sommers works his way off of Calvin's knee, and gets a rope break. Sly gets to his feet, and Calvin goes after him. Sly side-steps him, and brings him down with a sunset flip cradle.....1..........2.......Calvin rolls out. When Sly makes it to his feet, Calvin sends him down with a shoulderblock. Sly then rolls to the apron in pain. Sly gets to one knee on the apron while showing excrusiating pain in his back. Calvin then pretends that he has something in his eyes and can't see. He then comes off of the ropes on the side in which Sly is standing, and sends him crashing to the floor!

COACH
That dirty son of a....

CABOOSE
Yeah, Sly probably did get filthy from taking that fall. Clumsy idiot.

The referee starts yelling at Calvin. While his back is turned, Hoff clotheslines Colvid and then runs over to Sly, pulls him up, and slams him back-first into the guardrail repeatedly before throwing him back into the ring. After that happens, Cal pulls Sly up and sends him back down with a half-nelson version of an STO. Cal keeps ahold of that to pull Sly up, and then lifts him to take him down with a Finley roll. Calvin goes for the cover.........1..........2.......Sly gets a burst of energy and attempts to roll Calvin into the Cravateface!

MC
Where'd that come from?

However, Calvin easily rolls himself to the ropes. Both come back up, and Sly slowly charges at Szechstein. Calvin sees it coming, and drops Sly throat-first onto the top rope with a Hot Shot. Sly stumbles around while holding his throat and walks right into a side suplex from Cal. Calvin then chains that into a Russian legsweep, sending Sly back-first into a corner. Cal spins Sly around, and brings him over with a regular Russian legsweep into an Octopus hold!

COACH
I cannot respect this puke, but I have to say that Calvin Szechstein is putting on one hell of a clinic here!

Sly struggles to get out of the hold before pushing Calvin's free leg upward and then rolling Szechstein onto his back. Cal rolls to his knees, keeping in an armbar. Sly then rolls backwards and shoves Calvin down to get out of the hold. Cal pops back up, and they lock up for a quick Greco-Roman knucklelock. Sly rolls slowly onto his back, placing his feet in Cal's stomach. Sly then rolls himself forward, and uses the momentum to nail a flying headlock takeover. Both come back up, and Sly steps over a ducking Szechstein's head. Sly then hooks Calvin's head and brings him over with a small package...........1...........2............kickout!

MC
That was a close one!

Both come up, and Sly lifts Szechstein for the Sommerset. But, Calvin knees Sly in the back twice, and then brings him back for a John Walters Backbreaker! Cal quickly locks in a bow-and-arrow, but it's to no help, as the time runs out for the round as he hooks the leg.

*DING* *DING*

CABOOSE
Is it safe to say that round three was OWNED by Calvin Szechstein? Hell yes.

MC
I actually will have to agree with you there, as Calvin has been dominating Sly since Sly's back got messed up early in the round from going into the corner spine-first.

COACH
Who knows if Sly can overcome that and come back to win the match?

CABOOSE
Short answer: no. Long answer: Shut up, you dumbass.

*DING* *DING*

MC
That didn't seem like thirty seconds...oh, that's right...we're using time machines for this match. Time for round four!

Both men charge at each other, and Sly dives over Calvin! Sly scores with a sunset flip......1..............2.............THREE!

CABOOSE
WHAT IN THE HELL?

MC
Just goes to show you that, in a match like this, anything can happen at any time!

COACH
That was a fast one!

BUFFER
Sly Sommers is now one fall up on Calvin Szechstein...one fall.

Calvin angrily gets up and kicks Sly in the jaw! The referee then pulls the yellow card out of his pocket, as Calvin has been issued a Public Warning!

BUFFER
Calvin Szechstein has been given a public warning...two more, and he will be disqualifed!

MC
This round sure is sucking for Cal thus far!

Szechstein angrily kicks at the bottom rope as Sly gets to his feet. When Sommers finally does get up, Cal lifts him and drops him with a vicious backbreaker! Cal holds on, and tries for a Catatonic. However, Sly reverses in mid-move with an impressive Ace Crusher! But, Sly cannot capitalize, as he hurt his back on the landing. Both men come back up, and Sly goes for a go-over. But, Calvin catches him in mid-motion and brings him down hard with a Samoan Drop.

COACH
That was a bad fall!

Cal decides not to cover Sly and instead pulls him to his feet. Cal then takes a few steps back and charges at Sly. Sly ducks a clothesline, and both men turn around. Sly charges at Calvin, but he side-steps Sly, kicks the back of his leg, and sends him flying into the tree of woe. Calvin then pulls Sly up by the neck, and repeatedly connects with some vicious kicks to Sly's spine!

CABOOSE
THAT is how you get a job done!

Calvin then hooks Sly for a side suplex, lifts him, and brings him down with yet another backbreaker! Szechstein then cockily pulls Sly up, holding him up on his feet in order to mock him. But, the second that Cal takes his eyes off of Sly, Sly hooks Calvin's neck from behind and brings him over with a front-fall neckbreaker! Sly then rolls Calvin onto his feet and nails an impressive float-over neckbreaker!

MC
Sly's displaying some impressive offensive defense here!

CABOOSE
He just flat out offends me.

Sommers then hooks Szechstein in an inverted small package........1.........2........kickout! Both come back up, and Sly goes for it again. This time, Calvin twists out and goes for an Irish whip. Sly reverse the Irish whip, sends Szechstein to the ropes, and brings him down with a hiptoss neckbreaker! Calvin stumbles to his feet and goes to a corner. Sly charges at him, but Calvin moves and Sly goes chest-first into the corner. Calvin then hooks Sly for a reverse DDT. But, Sly reverses that into the One Hit Wonder!

COACH
He got a fall off of that on Thursday! This could potentially be over!

Sly landed on his back funny on the landing, and is clutching his lower back instead of going for the pin. Both men come back up, and Sly charges at Calvin for the O'Conner Roll. Calvin clutches onto the ropes and won't let go. As both men struggle for position, the round ends.

*DING* *DING*

CABOOSE
That didn't seem like three minutes...

COACH
Remember: time machines.

MC
As you two ramble on, I want the cameras to show what's going on in Sly Sommers's corner, as Colvid seems to be icing down Sly's back in between rounds in order to seeth the pain in little bits. That's a smart friend, if you ask me.

COACH
I wish I had friends....

*DING* *DING*

CABOOSE
Round 5.....YAAAAAAAAY!

Cal comes to mid-ring, and sticks his hand out for a single-arm Greco-Roman knucklelock. Sly comes in and locks hands. Szechstein then kicks Sly's hand away. Sly spins around upon impact, and Calvin forearms him in the small of his back. Calvin then hooks Sly's arms, and brings him down with a pumphandle backbreaker. Calvin rolls Sly onto his stomach, and then nails a devastating running double stomp into a senton!

MC
It seems like Calvin's faults in the last round have motivated him into performing even harder in this round.

Sommers crawls over to the ropes and pulls himself up with them. Szechstein comes over and starts thrusting his shoulder repeatedly into Sly's lower back. Calvin then follows up with a devastating cradled Russian legsweep. Calvin goes for the cover..........1............2..........kickout! Calvin then rolls Sly onto his feet by rolling him backwards. Calvin then lifts Sly up on his shoulders in Samoan Drop-like fashion, and then flips him sideways. Cal falls backwards and sticks up both knees, driving Sly back-first onto his knees!

CABOOSE
Sly Sommers is broken in half! Hallejulah!

MC
What a devastating backbreaker!

COACH
Calvin's just been full of those in this contest, eh?

Sommers slowly pulls himself up with the ropes, as the referee forces Calvin to stand back and wait. Sly eventually makes it to his feet. Calvin charges at him, but Sly sidesteps almost by accident, tripping Calvin and making him fall throat-first onto the middle rope. Sommers painfully rises to his feet and goes to the apron as Szechstein stumbles around while holding his throat. Sly then springboards off of the top rope and connects with a STIFF springboard clothesline!

COACH
Sly still has some fight left in him!

Sly then signals for the USA High Angle Backdrop to applause from the audience. Szechstein slowly rises to his feet. When he does, Sly hooks him from behind and tries to lift. But, Sly overestimates the strength in his back, as he has to let go of the grip to clutch his injured back. Szechstein turns around and kicks Sly in the stomach. Calvin then forearms Sly three times in the back and lifts him over his shoulder. Szechstein drops Sly with a vicious Canadian Backbreaker Drop!

MC
He could have murdered Sly there!

Calvin keeps ahold of Sly's arm after that so he can legally stand up and lock in a Standing Surfboard, placing his foot on Sly's back as he yanks back on his arms. Sly screams in pain as Calvin continually pulls back harder and harder. Szechstein finally gets impatient, lifts his foot, and stomps an elevated Sly in the back, slamming him down chest-first onto the mat!

COACH
Shades of Super Dragon...

CABOOSE
Who?

MC
Jonathan: he doesn't work here, so don't mention him.

Sly crawls over to the corner, and uses the turnbuckles to help pull himself up. As soon as he's on both feet, Calvin comes up from behind, hooks Sly's head, and nails a reverse DDT/Russian legsweep combo! Calvin immediately hooks Sly's leg for the cover......1..........2.........kickout! Calvin keeps ahold of both Sly's outside thigh and neck, lifting him over his shoulder as he rises to his feet. Calvin then charges Sly into the corner for a Canadian Stampede, and follows up with a Rene Dupree-style sitdown slam!

CABOOSE
Milwaukee Stampede, bitches!

Calvin cradles the legs and goes for the cover........1...........2........kickout!

*DING* *DING*

MC
Wait...Calvin thinks that Sly kicked out too late and is celebrating!

CABOOSE
Cal...that was just the round bell! Go back to your corner!

COACH
As much of a mistake it is to be wasting energy celebrating, which Hoff stopped Calvin from doing just now, I'm almost doubting that it matters since Sly's back is swollen and covered in bruises. It looks quite gross, actually.

MC
Here we see our head trainer coming out to the ring, looking over the damage done to Sly's back here. Let's get a microphone in the corner...

TRAINER
Sly, I can't let you go on with this contest...

SLY
I HAVE to!

TRAINER
If you continue, you could risk serious spinal damage that could last a lifetime!

SLY
That's just the risk I'm gonna have to take!

*DING* *DING*

Sly angrily charges to Cal, but Calvin takes advantage of Sly's lack of focus and performs a go-behind. Calvin then hooks Sly around the thigh region in waistlock-like fashion, and drops him with a German suplex in which all of Sly's weight is forced onto the hurt back. Calvin goes for the bridging pin........1..........2....Sly kicks out! But, Calvin rolls backwards over Sly, pulls him up, and hooks him with a reverse pumphandle (pulling both of Sly's arms between his legs from behind).

MC
This predicament looks horrible for the state of Sly Sommers!

CABOOSE
There's no American state called "Sly Sommers", you idiot!

Calvin lifts Sly in the position, but Sly performs a front-flip to get out of Calvin's clutches, and then nails Calvin with a backwards dropkick into a front roll to knock him down. Both men come up, though not nearly as fast as in the first couple of rounds. Sly then connects with a flying back elbow to Szechstein's jaw. Both come back up again, and Sly nails a flipping side neckbreaker on the bent Calvin. Sly keeps ahold of the neck, comes to his feet, lifts Calvin in piggyback fashion, and drops him with the Sommerset!

COACH
This could be it!

Sly goes for the cover........1..........2.........Szechstein gets his foot on the bottom rope! Sly waits for Calvin to rise to his feet. When he does, Sly connects with a forearm to the face. Sly then takes a few steps back and goes for a flying headscissors. But, he misjudges his ring positioning and accidentally drapes himself throat-first across the top rope in mid-move!

CABOOSE
What an idiot!

Szechstein lifts Sly off of the top rope and drops him with an inverted tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Calvin keeps ahold of Sly, pulls him up, lifts him with an electric chair, and then flings him forward to drop him with an Edge-o-Matic!

MC
That'll do it!

Calvin goes for the cover........1..........2.......kickout! Calvin angrily gets up, and waits for Sly to. When Sly does seconds later, Szechstein hooks him for a side suplex. He lifts, but Sly locks his leg around Cal's head and locks in the standing Octopus! Szechstein can't find a reversal, so he simply shoves him off. Sly lands horizontally on the top rope. Szechstein pulls him back in before he falls to the floor, and then drops him with a side slam swung around into a sitdown powerbomb!

CABOOSE
I love me some Calvin Szechstein innovation!

Calvin keeps him down for the cover.........1.............2.......kickout! Szechstein waits for Sly to crawl to the ropes and pull himself up with the ropes. As soon as Sly's on both feet, Calvin grabs his legs, pulls him away from the ropes, and locks in a Boston Crab! Sommers screams in violent pain as Cal leans back on the move. Sommers pushes up with his arms as Szechstein starts to lose his footing on the hold. Seconds later, Sly flips Szechstein over into a cradle pin...........1...........2..........kickout!

MC
That just shows how much one mistake can mess you up in a high-profile contest like this!

Both men come back to their feet, and Calvin connects with a shinkick to Sly's back. Sly flies chest-first into a corner. Szechstein then climbs to the second rope in the same corner and connects with some vicious crossface strikes to both sides of Sommers's face. Calvin then repositions himself behind Sly, and falls back with another vicious John Walters backbreaker!

CABOOSE
How Sly Sommers can possibly walk straight after this contest, I have no idea!

Sommers shows off his heart again by pulling himself up after such a devastating move, but Szechstein's one step ahead by delivering a knee strike to Sly's lower back upon Sly getting to both feet. Szechstein then lifts Sly for a slam, but spins him into a Catatonic version of EZ Money's old Money Clip suplex/flip slam move!

COACH
Whattamanuever!

Calvin goes for the cover...........1............2.........Sly gets his foot on the bottom rope! Szechstein then grabs Sly's ankle and rolls him backwards onto his feet once again. Szechstein delivers a knee to Sly's stomach, and then drops Sly with another Walters Backbreaker, but this time pulling him down by the arms in order to lock in an inverted surfboard. Sly's almost bent entirely in the wrong direction.

MC
Sly needs to submit here! His back cannot take it any longer!

Sly yelps out in maximum pain as Szechstein bends the angle of the hold deeper and deeper...and Sly taps out!

BUFFER
Calvin Szechstein has scored a fall via submission...the next fall will determine the winner!

The referee helps Sly to his feet, as he looks as if he can't stand up on his own. Szechstein charges forward and kicks him in the stomach. Calvin then comes off of the ropes and connects with a stiff kick to the side of Sly's head!

*DING* *DING*

MC
This has been, by far, a horrible round for Sly Sommers. He looks like a battered and beaten warrior here.

COACH
As much as I hate to say this, it looks as if Calvin Szechstein will have an easy ride to victory in this contest.

CABOOSE
THANK YOU! You two finally will admit to the dominance of Calvin Szechstein! It only took you twenty minutes!

*DING* *DING*

Calvin attacks Sly in the corner as he's taking his final sip of water. Calvin pounds Sly with a series of forearms to the face, and then lifts him for a Samoan Drop. Sly starts pounding on Cal's back, and then reverses with a DDT! Sly floats into a small package.........1................2.............kickout. Both come back up, and Sly fights Calvin off with a series of European uppercuts!

MC
Somehow, someway, Sly Sommers has found his third wind!

Sly then puts Calvin's head in between his legs and goes for the piledriver! But, Sly can't lift Calvin due to his back. Cal then lifts Sly up from that position, and slams him down with a big waterwheel slam (Alabamaslam), sending Sly into a corner! Cal then brings Sly over and down with a powerslam and goes for the cover...........1...........2..........kickout! Cal has to wait for Sly to get up. When he does, Calvin dives for a wheelbarrow, but Sly reverses that and brings him over with the USA High Angle Backdrop!

COACH
How'd he do that?!?!

Sly then rolls back with the Cravateface! It's locked in, and Calvin's about ready to tap. All of a sudden, Hoff jumps up to the apron and tells the referee to check Sly's hands for a fish-hook. Sly angrily won't let go, so the referee pulls a yellow card out of his pocket and issues Sly with a public warning!

MC
Come on! That's a ripoff!

CABOOSE
Hey, Sly broke the rules and deserves to be noted for it!

As Sly argues with the referee, Szechstein pops up and goes for a schoolboy out of nowhere while hooking the tights...........1...........2.........kickout! Both men come up, and Sly brings Calvin over with a crucifix pin..........1............2........kickout! Both come back up, and Sly nails a sunset flip............1...........2........kickout! Both men come back up and Sly goes for a forearm. Calvin ducks it and then nails a brutal Blue Thunder Bomb! Calvin goes for the cover..........1................2..........kickout!

COACH
This match sure as hell has picked up!

Calvin then waits for Sly to rise to his feet. When he does, Calvin charges at him with a clothesline. Sly ducks Szechstein's attempt and goes for a swinging neckbreaker. Calvin twists out, and positions Sly's head in between his legs for a powerbomb. Calvin lifts him, but Sly lands on his feet in front of Calvin and kicks him in the mid-section. Sly positions Calvin...and drops him with the piledriver!

MC
This match is over! The piledriver is the deal-maker in any Sly Sommers match!

Sommers squirms around on the mat in pain, and slowly crawls over to Calvin as time runs out in the round.....

1........

2........

*DING* *DING*

MC
THAT was close!

COACH
Wow, what a round!

CABOOSE
It's ILLEGAL to drop men on their heads in Switzerland and Luxembourg, therefore it should in a European Rounds match!

MC
What's this?...

Just then, Hoff grabs the water bottle and squirts it in the referee's eyes, blinding him in the process. Szechstein runs to Sly's corner, forearms Colvid off of the apron, and knees Sly in the groin repeatedly. Hoff then slides a chair inside of the ring, and Calvin positions himself for the Code Red Clash. Calvin then drops Sly on his face on the chair with the Code Red Clash!

COACH
That's bullcrap!

MC
Come on!

Hoff pulls the chair out of the ring as the referee comes to.

*DING* *DING*

The referee checks on Sly, and sees if he's concious. Sly is unable to answer. The referee then orders for the bell to be rung.

*DING* *DING*

BUFFER
Your winner of the contest in the eighth round via knockout....Calvin Szechstein!

MC
This victory reeks of crap!

CABOOSE
The only thing that reeks of crap is YOU, Michael Cole! The fact of the matter is that the Code Red Clash is so devastating that it knocked out Sly Sommers in the middle of this ring. It might have come in between rounds, but there is NOTHING clearly stated in the rules about fighting in between rounds!

Hoff showers Calvin with the remaining water in his squirt bottle in celebration, as both men high-tail it out of the ringside area and back to their locker room. As they leave, various officials come to the ring to check on Sly Sommers, who's still unconcious in the ring.

MC
This is just sad.

The officials help Sly, who has a small opening on his forehead that is leaking blood, to the back as the fans respectfully applaud for Sommers.

COACH
That was a hell of a match, but the fact that it's ended in this manner is crap!

CABOOSE
It ended with a knockout...big deal.

MC
Big deal? Pssssh. I just hope the Thrillogy goes home unhappy and that Crystal wins the World Title tonight. I'm starting to hate this new group of individuals...

COACH
As do I!

[Chanel #99]

COLE
Coming up next is the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship matchup. The Mad Cappa, who has been on an amazing hot streak these past few months, will be trying to defend his gold against none other than the currently undefeated “Reckless” Drek Stone!

COACH
Both men really are coming off a stellar month. At Living Anglelously, The Mad Cappa was able to defeat his rival Tha Puerto Rican to successfully defend his championship and, in the process, ended one of the absolute most personal feuds the OAOAST has ever seen

CABOOSE
Yeah, yeah, that’s good, whatever…..don’t forget that at Living Anglelously, Drek Stone was able to soundly defeat Damaramu, thus continuing his dazzling rise to the top of the OAOAST ranks. Then, just two weeks later, he was able to continue his progress by beating Hoff and becoming the #1 Contender to the title. And what could The Mad Cappa do? Nothing more than watch!

COLE
On an edition of HeldDown at the beginning of May, Drek publicly said that The Mad Cappa was next on his list. He made it his personal goal to defeat Cappa and add the Puerto Rican Title to his list of accomplishments.

CABOOSE
Ahem….LONG list of accomplishments.

COLE
But the question remains……can he beat someone AS GOOD as the Mad Cappa?

COACH
Cole, I just don’t think so.

CABOOSE
WHAT?! Of course he can!!

COLE
Let’s get down to the ring!

Woke Up This Morning
Got Yourself A Gun
Mama Always Said You’d Be
The Chosen One

ANNOUNCER
Coming down to the ring first is the challenger. Hailing from the mean streets of Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 240 pounds…..he is the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Athlete” and “The Best Looking Man To Ever Step Into a Wrestling Ring”……..please welcome DREK STONE!!!!!

*The fans start to loudly jeer as Drek struts out of the entranceway with a confident grin on his face. He slowly saunters down to ringside making the championship-belt gesture around his waist. Once he climbs into the ring, he stands in the center and waits a few seconds, soaking up the disgust of the crowd. Finally, he pounds his chest defiantly as an impressive series of fireworks rise from the four corners.*

CABOOSE
There we go, everybody. Look at that man standing in the ring! THAT is your next Puerto Rican Champion! I sure hope there’s somebody nearby that’s currently designing a 50-foot golden statue in the likeness of the amazing Drek Stone. Perhaps there’s even someone erecting a pyramid in this man’s honor. He really deserves nothing less and, after tonight, he’ll hopefully start receiving the respect he rightfully deserves.

COLE
Are you finished?

CABOOSE
Are you kidding? I have a whole report planned for tonight. Let me continue, PLEASE, Michael Cole. Anyway, Drek was born to two parents on April….

*1, 2, 3! HIT IT!*

ANNOUNCER
And coming down to the ring is the champion! Hailing from Anacostia, Washington D.C., weighing in at 185 lbs…….he is the UNDISPUTED OAOAST PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION OF THE WORLD…….THE MAD CAPPA!!!!

“Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” blasts over the loudspeakers as The Mad Cappa walks out of the entranceway to a roaring reaction from the crowd. With the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title around his waist, he slowly walks down to ringside with a smile on his face. Along the way, he stops to slap hands with some of the fans sitting ringside while the crowd begins to loudly chant “CAPPA! CAPPA!”. After getting in the ring, he raises his arms up to the people and receives an even louder reaction. Finally, he turns his attention to Drek Stone*

CABOOSE
I swear, I’ll never understand the love this guy gets.

COACH
What’s there not to understand? He gives it his all EVERY SINGLE TIME he comes down to the ring, and he makes sure to acknowledge what the fans have done for him. It’s a simple formula…..

CABOOSE
Call it what you want, Coach, but face the facts. Cappa is the epitome of the OAOAST Teacher’s Pet.

COLE
I don’t even know if I want to deal with the lunacy of that statement…..

*The Mad Cappa slowly unclips the Puerto Rican Championship from around his waist and hands to the referee. The ref holds it up for the crowd, and then hands it to the ring announcer.*

CABOOSE
History is being made tonight. It’s officially the last time The Mad Cappa will ever touch the Puerto Rican Championship. Forget the Declaration of Independence. Disregard the moon landing. This is one of the most important times in American history!

*DING DING DING*

COACH
Well, Boose, the bell has sounded and we’re finally ready to begin this thing!

The crowd starts cheering and rises up with yet another chant of “CAPPA! CAPPA!” as the two men share stares across the ring. They slowly walk towards each other, eyes locked, until they’re just a few feet away. Finally, they hook up in a grapple. Drek quickly gains the advantage with a side headlock, and brings Cappa down to the mat. Cappa instantly wraps his legs around Drek’s neck, and Drek is forced to spring out of the move. Both men swiftly pop back up, but Cappa speedily takes down a running Drek with an armdrag. He then locks it into an armbar.

COLE
So far, some interesting chain-wrestling going on here

CABOOSE
Cole, I’m gonna have to admit…..that was one crisp side headlock from Drek.

Stuck in a Cappa armbar, Drek struggles to make it onto his knees. Finally, once he does, he uses his other arm to hurl Cappa into the ropes. Bouncing back, Cappa completely leapfrogs over a kneeling down Drek, hits the ropes again and, on his way back, wraps his arm around Drek’s head and quickly brings him back down with a headlock.

COACH
Man, Boose, what atheticism Cappa is showing so far tonight. He’s really brought his A-Game.

CABOOSE
I know, Coach. Never underestimate the devastating, match-ending abilities of a headlock.

While both Drek and Cappa are on the mat, Cappa smoothly transitions the move into a front facelock. After a few seconds of twisting and struggling, both men get to their feet. Cappa releases the hold and quickly grabs Drek’s arm. He twists the arm behind Drek’s back, holding it in a hammerlock position.

COLE
For some reason, Cappa is trying to exploit Drek’s arm in the earlygoings of this matchup.

COACH
You think it could have anything to do with stopping the power of the StoneCutter, Cole?

COLE
Hmm…..that could be a possibility…..

CABOOSE
I don’t even think I need to come in here with a sarcastic remark…

With Drek’s arm locked behind his back, he uses the momentum of his body to shove Cappa into the ropes. Cappa hits the ropes and, after coming back, slickly slides underneath Drek’s legs. Popping right back up, Cappa grabs Drek’s head from behind and slaps him into a modified Dragon’s Sleeper. He eventually turns Drek’s body around, and puts him back in another front-face lock, bringing him down to the mat. However, this time, Drek manages to roll over onto his back. With Drek now laying on top of Cappa, and Cappa’s arms locked around Drek’s chest, they lay there for a few seconds until Cappa uses his back strength to bridge both men up from a horizontal position. Once up, Cappa shifts his body around Drek and brings him down with a backslide.



1…….




2…….




KICKOUT!

Both men hop up out of the move, and the fans solidly applaud the technical effort they’ve seen so far. The claps then break into a loud chant of “CAPPA! CAPPA!”

COLE
And the crowd is showing their support for the purely technical affair we’ve seen so far! Yet, obviously, they are still giving their undivided backing to The Mad Cappa.

CABOOSE
Of course. They don’t wish to applaud for the guy actually RESPONSIBLE for the wrestling we’ve seen so far.

COACH
No, no, I think they are. They’re chanting Cappa…..

CABOOSE
Coach, Cappa is wrestling this way because Drek is LETTING him wrestle this way. If he wanted, Drek could snap Cappa’s neck like a twig at any time. You saw how he weakened it up in that tag team match on HeldDown! So, by prolonging the inevitable, he’s pretty much hand-delivering this match so far tonight.

COACH
Yeah……I must have missed that……

Cappa and Drek stare at each other for a few seconds, until a flash of pain suddenly crosses Drek’s face. He falls to his knees holding the back of his head. Cappa cautiously walks over towards him, and Drek gives him a hard blow to the midsection. Drek quickly swings his body behind Cappa and lifts him up for a back suplex. While in the air, Cappa manages to backflip out of the suplex. However, immediately after hitting the ground, Drek brings Cappa down with a drop-toe-hold, and Cappa falls neck-first right across the middle rope.

CABOOSE
If THAT didn’t just show you how much of an amazing mat technician Drek Stone is, I don’t know what will ever convince you. He pretended to be hurt to sucker Cappa in, KNEW Cappa would reverse out of the back suplex, and managed to know exactly what his positioning in the ring was so he could drop Cappa’s neck across the top rope. I’m…..I’m still in awe.

COACH
Or love.

COLE
Suddenly, the tide in this match has dramatically changed. Cappa is rolling around the ring with his hands massaging his neck, and Drek could already smell the opportunity to capitalize.

Once Cappa is able to get back to his feet, although with his hand around his throat, Drek brings him down with a vicious clothesline that manages to take both men off their feet. Drek then rolls Cappa onto his stomach and begins to drop a nasty series of knees across the back of Cappa’s neck.

COLE
And suddenly, this match has transformed from a technical affair into a pure dismantling of Cappa’s neckline.

CABOOSE
And nobody could be happier…..listen to the clapping from these fans!

COACH
I don’t think they’re clapping for Drek. Something tells me they’re trying to bring Cappa back into this match.

After his series of kneedrops, Drek rises back to his feet and begins to drop a few elbowdrops across the neck of the Mad Cappa. After three separate elbows, he quickly rolls Cappa onto his back and makes the cover.




1…..







2…..








Kickout!

Drek rolls off of Cappa with a smile on his face. Once again, he rolls Cappa onto his stomach. This time, he drops the knee across the back of Cappa’s neck, but holds it there. He grabs Cappa’s head and starts to stretch it back as far as he can.

COACH
Dammit, why does Drek insist on putting The Mad Cappa through this kind of torture? If he keeps it up, he could paralyze the guy!

COACH
Cole, I’m going to give Drek Stone his just-due here. He’s not a stupid man. He knows Cappa’s neck isn’t 100% after that terrible brainbuster on HeldDown, and he’s trying to exploit that weakness here. But after all that we’ve seen Cappa come back from in his rivalry with Tha Puerto Rican, I don’t know if this is enough to put it down.

CABOOSE
Oh, it is. And it will!

After releasing the hold, Drek holds out his arms and gives a large, cocky smile to the crowd. They begin booing and a chant of “Drek Stone Sucks!” rises up from the capacity crowd. With a confident look on his face, he slowly picks a limp Mad Cappa off the ground. He throws him into the ropes and prepares to hit a clothesline. But Cappa ducks that. Bouncing back, Cappa ducks under yet another Drek clothesline. On the third rebound, in one sudden move, Cappa grabs Drek’s head and does a 360 around the ring with a BUST-A-CAP!!

COLE
OH MY GOD!! IT’S OVER!!

CABOOSE
WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?!

COACH
MAKE THE COVER, CAPPA! YOU HAVE THIS ONE!!

However, Cappa isn’t really in the condition to be trying to make the pinfall. After that high-impact move, he has no chance but to lay there and hold his neck. With both men down, the referee starts to count them out.


1……


2…….


3……..


4……..

Cappa grabs the bottom ring rope and starts to move back up to this feet.

5………


6……….

Drek lifts his right arm up, and begins to use that to guide his way back to his feet.


7………….


8…………..


But The Mad Cappa is back on his feet! He walks over to Drek as quickly as he can and knocks him into the corner with a HARD right fist. With Drek stuck in the corner, Cappa begins to hit him with alternating stiff shots to the face and the stomach. He then starts to give Drek a series of solid stomps until Drek has no choice but to slump down in the corner. Cappa begins to choke up with his boot, and the referee starts counting for Cappa to release the hold. After a four count, Cappa takes his boot off Drek’s throat and looks to the crowd who are on their feet with cheers.

COACH
Caboose, you actually had the nerve to count The Mad Cappa out of this thing?! Never count Cappa out! If anybody can make a thrilling comeback, it’s him!

CABOOSE
I……I still have faith in Drek Stone. This match is his to claim.

After the hold was released, Drek rolled a few feet away from the turnbuckle to catch his breath. Cappa begins to scale the turnbuckle as Drek rises to his feet.

COLE
I don’t know if this is a good idea. With the bad condition his throat is in, he might not be in the best of shape to try a move like this.

Once Drek is able to get back into a standing position, he sees Cappa standing on the top rope out of the corner of his eye. He quickly runs over to Cappa and gives him a STIFF thrust to the neck. Cappa begins to wobble on the top turnbuckle, but Drek grabs his arm. Turning his back to Cappa, he grabs him from beneath his armpits. He then FLIPS CAPPA OFF OF THE TOP ROPE WITH A DIAMOND DUST!!

COLE
WHAT A MANEUVER!

COACH
See, the Mad Cappa should have never been on the top rope like that! He wasted an opportunity to finish off Drek Stone!

With the Mad Cappa lying on the mat, Drek now begins to climb up the turnbuckle. However, he stops on the middle rope and waits for Cappa to move. Cappa begins to stir and, after a struggle, is able to get in a sitting position with his back to Drek. However, seeing the chance, Drek jumps off the second rope WITH A DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF CAPPA’S NECK!! Cappa’s head snaps forward violently, but he then suddenly falls to the mat with his eyes shut.

COACH
This could be it!!

CABOOSE
Don’t be so negative, Coach! This IS it!

Drek quickly grabs Cappa’s leg to make the cover.



1……..












2……..














KICKOUT!! With a strenuous effort, The Mad Cappa is able to lift a shoulder up! Thinking the match had to be over, Drek eyes the referee with a look of disbelief on his face. He then looks back at the Mad Cappa and his expression changes into a scowl. He grabs The Mad Cappa by his hair and brings him over to the turnbuckle. With Cappa’s head in a DDT position, Drek climbs up to the second turnbuckle. He pounds his chest for the fans, hearing only boos as a result, and jumps off the middle rope with a Tornado DDT. BUT CAPPA DOESN’T FALL! He manages to plant Drek on his feet AND THEN BRINGS DREK DOWN WITH A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! The referee makes the count as the fans in attendance chant along!





1……









2……












THREE…….








KICKOUT!! The fans let out a loud sigh as Drek managed to get his shoulder up at the last second!

CABOOSE
Oh, thank God! Drek almost got screwed out of his title tonight

COLE
What an amazing reversal by The Mad Cappa! But it just wasn’t enough to keep Drek Stone down!

After getting back up, Drek runs at The Mad Cappa, but Cappa swings his body around Drek and brings him down with a crucifix pin.




1……










2…….











AND DREK JUST ROLLS OUT OF THAT! Once again, the fans give out a loud scream as Drek is just able to escape from it. He pops up and runs at Cappa angrily with a clothesline. But The Mad Cappa ducks it and brings Drek back down with a rollup.







1……










2……











THR…….







E……..





E…….NO!! ONCE AGAIN, DREK MANAGES TO GET A SHOULDER UP!! Cappa pounds the mat once in a bit of frustration, then starts rubbing his neck once again.

COLE
The Mad Cappa is showing off his wrestling ability tonight and, with every passing move, he’s getting just THAT much closer to successfully keeping his title.

CABOOSE
But he’s not getting the win, Cole!! Drek is kicking out of every rapidfire move the Mad Cappa is trying to throw at him! He’s continuing to earn my respect, as if he didn’t have enough of it already!

This time, Drek isn’t so quick to get back to a standing position. He makes it onto his knees, but Cappa runs at him and brings him DOWN WITH A SWINGING SLEEPER SLAM!! THE FALL FROM GRACE!! After hitting the move, he once again scrambles over to make the cover.



1…….








2……..










KICKOUT!!

COACH
What is it going to take to KEEP DREK STONE DOWN?!

CABOOSE
Nothing, Coach. Absolutely nothing!! He was undefeated before tonight, and he will remain that way after this match!! Nothing can beat him. Understand that?

Sensing an imminent victory, Cappa looks at the crowd who once again begin to LOUDLY chant “CAPPA! CAPPA!” until it booms around the building. He walks over to Drek and picks up both his legs.

COLE
The fans know what’s coming!

COACH
Are we going to see it?! THE WALLS OF CAPPA?!

Holding both legs, Cappa tries to shift Drek’s body over into the Walls of Cappa. But Drek is doing the best he can to prevent the move from happening.

CABOOSE
Do you see that? THAT’S what happens when you do intense workouts with your thighs. When you……WAIT!!

However, despite Drek’s struggling, Cappa is able to turn his body over into the WALLS OF CAPPA!! The fans start going crazy for a second, but Drek is speedily able to move onto his back once again. Cappa bends his head down to get a better position, but Drek scoops it up and rolls Cappa into a small package.






1……












2…….















KICKOUT!! KICKOUT!!

CABOOSE
We were ONE SECOND AWAY from seeing history tonight!! And the Mad Cappa had to ruin it!! What a selfish human being, only caring about himself!!

Both men need to lay on the mat for a few seconds to get their breath back.

COLE
I really think we’re seeing something special tonight. Perhaps two of the greatest athletes in the OAOAST going at it tonight for the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title. Despite what you may think about the combatants, you still have to respect the effort they’re giving tonight.

CABOOSE
Hmmm……nah, I still don’t like Cappa. Sorry.

Finally, after both wrestlers take a while to stand back up, they stagger towards one another. Drek gives a slow punch to the head of Cappa, and he returns the favor with a sluggish punch to Drek’s face. This time, Cappa smacks Drek across the chest with a knife-edge chop, but Drek smacks him back with an unhurried chop. Suddenly, Drek grabs The Mad Cappa by his arm and tries to irish-whip him into the corner. However, Cappa reverses it and Drek goes chest-first into the turnbuckle. After the impact, Drek sways around and IS MET WITH THE CAPPABOMB!! THE MAD CAPPA JUST HIT THE CAPPABOMB OUT OF NOWHERE!!

COLE
IT’S OVER!!

CABOOSE
NO! IT CAN’T BE OVER!

Cappa takes a few seconds to hold onto his neck. However, he still somehow summons the energy to roll onto Drek and hook the leg.



1…….














2……..










CABOOSE
KICK OUT, DREK! DON’T LET IT BE OVER!!











…….












KICKOUT!! The fans can’t believe it!! They start getting rabid with boos, but still don’t let up with their “Cappa!” chants.

COLE
And the match continues! How long can these guys continue to withstand this damage?!

COACH
You have to figure that Cappa’s neck won’t be able to deal with these high impact moves for too much longer. He needs to start reeling this baby in now.

CABOOSE
Reel in WHAT?! This is Drek’s night to shine – this has ALWAYS been Drek’s night to shine. We NEED him to make this gold something to proud of. Forget calling it the Puerto Rican Title. The OAOAST Italian Title is something we can ALL be proud of.

Drek begins to slowly crawl towards the turnbuckle, hand outstretched to grab onto anything. Once he touches the bottom rope, he tries to use the other turnbuckles to hoist himself up. However, Cappa is right there behind him, holding onto the back of his tights. Once Drek is able to stand, Cappa manages to stand up as well. Drek begins to make a solid effort to climb up the turnbuckle, but Cappa grabs him around his waist to stop it. He hoists Drek up and TOSSES him across the ring with a german suplex!

COLE
This is it! Drek looks like he’s out! IT COULD BE OVER!

COACH
THE MAD CAPPA IS CLIMBING UP TO THE TOP ROPE!!

CABOOSE
SOMEBODY STOP THIS!!

The Mad Cappa’s standing on the top rope and Drek is still down on the mat!! Cappa prepares to jump off the turnbuckle, but Drek, in an absolute last ditch effort, uses the referee’s clothing to get himself off the mat. Once he’s back up, he hurls his body onto the top rope, making it shake violently until Cappa’s legs give way and he falls groin-first onto the top turnbuckle. Drek slowly walks over and hooks Cappa up in a suplex position with Drek’s feet flat on the ground.

COLE
Shades of Thursday night. Cappa’s crotched on the top rope and Drek has him set up in a suplex position.

CABOOSE
And THIS TIME…..there’s no Colombian Heat to save Cappa!!

Drek pulls Cappa off and holds him up in perfect brainbuster position.

CABOOSE
THAT’S IT! IT’S OVER! DROP HIM ON HIS HEAD!

COLE
I don’t think Cappa’s neck will be able to absorb this blow!

Camera bulbs flash all around the arena as Drek prolongs the suplex position. However, while upside-down, Cappa begins to shift his weight around. Cappa starts swaying around in the air, with Drek forced to wobble around the ring trying to hold him up.

COACH
What’s the Mad Cappa doing?! THIS IS SUICIDE!!

Suddenly, Cappa’s body falls forward out of the suplex! Drek doesn’t release the hold and, as a result, Cappa is able to wrap up Drek’s head and arms along the way down! As the two men hit the ground, Cappa has Drek tied up in a small package! The referee makes the count!








1…….

















2…..
















……




















THREE!!!!!

THE FANS START GOING INSANE WITH CHEERS!!

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentlemen……your winner……AND STILL OAOAST PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION……..THE MAD CAPPA!!

CABOOSE
NO! NO! HE RUINED DREK’S NIGHT!! HE RUINED EVERYTHING!!

COLE
What a counter!! That had ALL the makings to be a repeat of Thursday night! Cappa KNEW he would be finished if Drek hit the brainbuster, and he did EVERYTHING he could to escape out of it!

COACH
Now THAT’S a Puerto Rican champion you can be proud of!

CABOOSE
WHO can be proud of that champion?! Not me! The champion you could be proud of JUST GOT SCREWED!

The fans continue to go crazy as Cappa is handed the Puerto Rican Title. He holds it up for the crowd as flash bulbs continue to flood throughout the building. Meanwhile, Drek is now sitting in the middle of the ring, beside himself that he somehow lost. Cappa walks out of the ring with the title around his right arm, slapping hands with the fans along the way. Drek slowly gets up and stares at Cappa who is standing at the top of the entranceway, with his left arm gripping the back of his neck.

COLE
Drek Stone…..taking a long, hard look at the man who outwrestled him tonight.

CABOOSE
Outwrestled? He’s looking at the luckiest man in the world!

As the two men look at each other, Drek silently mouths the words “This isn’t over!” Cappa just looks at him for a few seconds before holding the belt up for the crowd one last time and walking into the back.

CABOOSE
Did you see that, Cole?! It’s NOT over. Cappa might have been the luckiest man tonight…..but that luck isn’t going to last long.

COACH
Imagine…..Drek’s undefeated streak in the OAOAST has been ended.

CABOOSE
Ugh, don’t talk like that Coach.

COACH
Fortunately, he can’t feel too bad, considering it was done by someone with the spectacular skills of the Mad Cappa.

CABOOSE
Heed his words. This isn’t over. He’ll restore some dignity to that title….somehow.

COLE
Looking at tonight’s matchup, I think the Puerto Rican Title has enough dignity already.

[Chanel #99]

MICHAEL COLE:
Well fans, coming up next, is one of the more "unique" matches that you will be seeing at School's Out: Class Dismissed. A match that we thought we would never see. An Empty Arena Match between two men who at one time were best friends.

::The OaOasT School's Out: Class Dismissed logo flashes by on the screen. The matchup graphic for Tha Puerto Rican/Colombian Heat Empty Arena Match appears on screen. The crowd pops loudly and buzzes in anticipation for the upcoming bout.::

JONATHON "THE COACH" COACHMAN:
That's right, MC, it is an Empty Arena Match. The first Empty Arena Match in a long time here in the OaOasT. And the opponents are two men who were best friends for 4 years. But now, that friendship has disinagrated into bad blood and hatred. And it will culminate tonight in an orgy of blood and bruises, and stuff like that.

CABOOSE:
That is one of the weirdest things you've ever said. Anyway folks, coming up next is a match I am PUMPED for. Tha Puerto Rican, former OaOasT North American Champion, the longest reigining NA Champ in OaOasT history, 2 time Puerto Rican Champion, and the REAL People's Champion, will kick the crap out of his lackey, that coattail rider, Colombian Heat! The man who he conned into believing he actually LIKED, when all along he just used him to make himself look better!

COLE:
I do not believe that at all. P.R. and Heat were at one time the best of friends, closer than most brothers. No way could that be faked. These two men were "tight" as the kids say.

COACH:
Well you heard what Heat said. He never wanted to be P.R.'s friend. He just used him to get to the top.

CABOOSE:
See! That proves to you that Heat was just a coatail rider. Using P.R. for his own gain? That sounds like a coatail rider to me!

COLE:
Regardless of the circumstances, this match will defintley be a memorable one. An Empty Arena Match means just that. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat will fight in an empty arena with no one but the referee there. It is a No Holds Barred Match and Falls Count Anywhere. No titles on the line in this one. This is just two friends turned enemies settling the score at the OaOasT Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennslyvania!

CABOOSE:
You forgot to mention, Cole, that not only will there be no people in the arena, but we won't do the announcing. Instead Vitamin X and P.R.'s girlfriend, the lovely, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez will call this one. And you can damn well bet that they will be rooting for Tha Puerto Rican in this one!

COLE:
Indeed they will. So, fans, without further ado, let's head now, via satelite, to the OaOasT Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennslyvania, where the leader of The Lightning Crew, Tha Puerto Rican goes one-on-one with his former best friend and second-in-command, Colombian Heat inside an empty arena! Vitamin X, take it away!

::The camera cuts to the OaOasT Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennslyvania. The camera does a widepan of the empty arena and then stops at the entrance, which is the same as the regular HeldDOWN~! entrance. The crowd inside the School's Out arena cheers loudly, which can be heard as Vitamin X begins speaking. The camera cuts to Vitamin X.::

VITAMIN X:
Alright, thank you, Michael Cole. Welcome, idiots, to the first ever Empty Arena that Tha Puerto Rican has ever fought in. It is going to be the bomb~! I, for one, can't wait, to see my fabolous boss and great leader, Tha Puerto Rican, teach that punk kid, Colombian Heat a lesson. I'm sure you people are looking for an upset. I'm sure you people are looking to see Colombian Heat win. UH-UH! Not going to happen tonight, and it's not going to happen anynight. Heat will lose, just you wait. Now, P.R. and Heat have been mic'd also, so we can hear them talk in between the brawling which you will surely see tonight.

::A piano tune plays over the P.A. system. White lights flicker on and off. The crowd at the School's Out arena cheers.::

X:
And here we go!

::"What's My Name (DMX)" by DMX begins playing. The AngleTron shows the words COLOMBIAN HEAT appear in graffitti font. Orange smoke fills the entrance as red and orange lights flicker on and off. The lights are dimmed as Colombian Heat steps out from the smoke. He has a determined look on his face, but still manages to dance as he walks down to the ring.::

VITAMIN X:
And here comes that punk, Colombian Heat. I can't believe he would think he is better than Tha Puerto Rican! And to think, I actually LIKED this guy! I thought he was a team player, and now we find out that he was in it for himself!

::Colombian Heat continues his walk to the ring with a determined look on his face. He is wearing his usual wrestling attire of a Colombian flag bandana with the knot on the front, gold chain, clock around his neck, pierced left ear, googles, red t-shirt, yellow tanktop minus The Lightning Crew logo and with HEAT 1 on the back. Red basketball shorts, white socks, and black NIKE sneakers. Heat enters the ring and stares at Vitamin X. X stares back.::

VITAMIN X:
What? Do you want some? Is that it? Come on Heat! Come on! Bring it! I'm right here! (X stands up) I'm right here, bitch! Come on!

COLOMBIAN HEAT:
You're next, X!

::Vitamin X removes his leather jacket and shows his white Lightning Crew t-shirt. He then sits back down, putting his sunglasses back on. Colombian Heat stares a hole through X.::

VITAMIN X:
Lightning Crew 4-Life, baby! Lightning Crew 4-life! YEAH! You're nothing, Heat! NOTHING! P.R. is going to kick your sorry ass! Kick your candy ass!

::Colombian Heat continues staring at X when "What's My Name (DMX)" by DMX dies down. A deep, slowed voice man saids "LIGHTNING CREW". The AngleTron lights up with an image of Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd in the School's Out arena boo very loudly. A lightning bolt hits the entrance in the OaOasT Arena.::

VITAMIN X:
HERE WE GO! BOO-YAH!

::"No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds begins playing. Fog fills the entrance. Colombian Heat stares at the entrance while the crowd in the School's Out arena chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!"::

VITAMIN X:
HERE COMES THE REAL PEOPLE'S CHAMPION!

::Tha Puerto Rican steps through the fog and looks at Colombian Heat accompanied by Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who has her hair down, and is wearing a black kango hat backwards, hoop earrings, a sliver necklace, blue tanktop with a pushup bra, black leather pants, chains around her wrists, and black heels. P.R. is not wearing his usual wrestling attire, instead wearing a Puerto Rican flag doo-rag, gold chain, pierced left ear, Puerto Rican flag basketball jersey, black elbow pads, black wrist tape, blue baggy jeans, and his Puerto Rican flag wrestling boots.::

VITAMIN X:
Tha Puerto Rican didn't come here to wrestle. He came here to fight!

::Tha Puerto Rican and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez walk down to the ring. P.R. and Colombian Heat stare at each other. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez sneers at Heat, and curses him in Spanish. P.R. trash talks Heat, and then enters the ring, continuing staring at Heat. P.R. gets a good luck kiss from Lindsay as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. P.R. enters the ring while Lindsay heads to the announcer's table with Vitamin X. The camera cuts to her putting on her headset. Vitamin X wipes a seat and sits Lindsay.::

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
Thank You, X.

VITAMIN X:
No problem, madame. So, Lindsay, are you ready for this match?

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
No question, X. P.R. kicking ass always turns me on, and I can't wait till the night is over, and P.R. stands victorious once again.

::Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat engage in a staredown. P.R. removes his doo-rag and throws it at Heat, letting his dreadlocks go free. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds dies down.::

VITAMIN X:
Who do you predict will win this match?

LINDSAY:
P.R. Duh! Colombian Heat is just a chump. Just a jabrony. No match for my man.

VITAMIN X:
Well, we shall see, since the match is starting right now!

::The referee calls for the bell.::

*DING DING DING*

Empty Arena Match:
Tha Puerto Rican vs. Colombian Heat
(with special announcers Vitamin X and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez):
The crowd in the School's Out arena cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat circle the ring, staring at each other.

VITAMIN X:
And here we go. The Empty Arena Match is underway here at School's Out: Class Dismissed!

THA PUERTO RICAN:
We don't have to do this you know. All you have to do is just bow down, and say I'm the leader. That's it. Just kiss my feet. Come on. Go ahead.

COLOMBIAN HEAT:
I rather get a lobomontry than be your friend again.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
You won't have to get a lobomontry, since you don't have a brain to begin with!

COLOMBIAN HEAT:
Ooh. Good one. Did you watch Def Comedy Jam or something? You KNOW you stole everything from me! The moves, the mannerisms, the catchphrases.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
I--wait a minute. Why are we talking? This is wrestling! Let's wrestle. Come on. Take the first shot. Come on! I dare ya! Come on Heat. Hit me. Hit me right here! :.R. points to his right cheek.:: Come on! Come on, chicken! Come on! Don't be a chicken! Bawk! Bawk! Bawk! Bawk! Hit me! Hit me! HIT ME!!!

Colombian Heat punches P.R. in his right cheek. P.R. is shocked.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
You dirty motherf(bleep).

Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat brawl in the center of the ring. They go back and forth with neither man getting the full advantage.

VITAMIN X:
And we begin, with a slugfest in the center of the ring! Back and forth, we go!

LINDSAY:
Come on, P.R.! Go for it!

P.R. and Heat continue their brawl with the referee just watching. P.R. gets the advantage, but Heat strikes back with lefts and rights. Heat Irish Whips Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes. Heat lowers his head, but P.R. grabs him and gives him a Dangerous DDT.

VITAMIN X:
And a Dangerous DDT right from the start! And now the cover!

1...









2....













KICK OUT!!!

VITAMIN X:
DAMNIT!!!

P.R. gets up and grabs Colombian Heat. Heat lowblows P.R.

VITAMIN X:
HEY! No fair! I don't care that it's No Holds Barred! That move should be illegal!

Colombian Heat beats on Tha Puerto Rican in the ring. P.R. scratches Heat's eyes and then takes over. P.R. Irish Whips Colombian Heat into the ropes. He leapfrogs over him, and then does a reverse leapfrog onto him. He follows with an armdrag. Heat immediatley gets right back up, so Tha Puerto Rican gives him a dropkick sending him back down. He goes for the cover. It gets a two count. Tha Puerto Rican picks up Colombian Heat and gives him several European Uppercuts into the ropes. Tha Puerto Rican then whips Colombian Heat into the opposite ropes, and comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
How do you like them apples?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!!

Tha Puerto Rican pumps his boots, and then heads to the ropes. He stops, shakes his shoulders, dust his right shoulder off, and then drops a fist onto Heat, completing the Five Knuckle Shuffle.

VITAMIN X:
Five Knuckle Shuffle from Tha Puerto Rican! Don't believe the hype, folks. It was Tha Puerto Rican who invented that move! Not that white rapper guy from WWE. Cover! 1! 2! And Colombian Heat kicks out at 2! Nice to know, that we aren't even 5 minutes into the match, and P.R. has already come close to winning several times!

P.R. drops several fists onto Colombian Heat in the style of Ted DiBiase. Tha Puerto Rican picks up Colombian Heat, who is a little dazed, and beats on him some more. He Irish Whips him into a turnbuckle. Tha Puerto Rican follows with a Stinger Splash.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
COME ON HEAT! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!

Tha Puerto Rican Irish Whips Heat into the other turnbuckle. P.R. goes for another Stinger Splash, but Heat moves out of the way.

X:
NO!

Colombian Heat beats on Tha Puerto Rican, getting a 2nd wind. Heat whips P.R. into the ropes, P.R. goes for a clothesline, but Heat ducks, grabs P.R., and gives him the Gangsta Slam. Heat then heads to the ropes again and does the "Where The Hood At"? At the School's Out arena, the crowd is cheering. Heat goes for the cover.

VITAMIN X:
Don't cover! 1! 2! And...Oh Thank God! Thank God for that! Heat, unable to pin Tha Puerto Rican. Whew!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
COME ON! P.R., BABY, KICK HIS ASS!

COLOMBIAN HEAT:
Come on, P.R. Show ME what you got! Looks like you're not so tough, aren't you? HA! HA! HA!

VITAMIN X:
Ugh. Such words coming from such a short punk. Colombian Heat is nothing more but a punk. That's it. He's a nobody. P.R. is the man!

Colombian Heat grabs P.R., but P.R. elbows him in the stomach. He goes for the Latin Slam, but Heat escapes, and kicks P.R. in the stomach. Colombian Heat grabs Tha Puerto Rican and goes for the Colombian Necktie.

VITAMIN X:
OH NO! OH NO! NO! NO! NO!

Tha Puerto Rican manages to escape, and pokes Heat in the eyes. He then low-blows Heat, and throws him over the top rope. Colombian Heat crashes onto the floor with a sickening thud.

VITAMIN X:
And now this match is out of the ring.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
That had to hurt, didn't it? HA! HA!

VITAMIN X:
Just like to say props to whoever thought of micing P.R. and Heat. Oh wait. That was me! So, props to me for this ingenious idea! It is working out better than I expected!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
You never get tire of giving yourself credit, huh?

VITAMIN X:
Hell no!

Tha Puerto Rican heads to the top rope as Colombian Heat begins getting up. P.R. encourages Heat to get up.

VITAMIN X:
What great idea does P.R. have now? I wonder.

P.R.:
LOOK OUT BELOW!

Tha Puerto Rican leaps off the top rope onto Colombian Heat with a moonsault.

VITAMIN X:
OH MY! OH MY GOD! WHAT A MOVE! WHAT A FREAKING AWESOME MOVE! HA! HA! HA! HA! THA PUERTO RICAN HAS JUST SACRIFICED HIMSELF ONCE AGAIN TO ATTACK HIS ENEMIES! AND NOW COLOMBIAN HEAT AND THA PUERTO RICAN ARE DOWN ON THE MAT!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
You mean the protective mat outside.

VITAMIN X:
Yeah. That.

Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat lie on the floor outside the ring while the crowd in the School's Out Arena chants "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" P.R. and Heat slowly get up.

VITAMIN X:
Both men are showing signs of life once again. COME ON, P.R.! GET UP FIRST!

P.R. and Heat slowly get up. They begin brawling once again. P.R. begins to take control. He punches Colombian Heat in the face several times, spits in his right hand, and goes for another punch, but Heat blocks the punch, and fights back. He knees P.R. in the stomach, and goes for a Russian Legsweep. However, P.R. holds on, and gives Heat a Russian Legsweep of his own. The crowd groans. Tha Puerto Rican gets back up and heads over to the announcer's table. He and Lindsay smile at each other. P.R. winks.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
How you doing honey?

P.R. kisses Lindsay and then high fives Vitamin X.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Nice job with the announcing. Hand me that headset, I gots somethin' to say.

VITAMIN X:
Here you go, boss.

Vitamin X hands P.R. the headset. P.R. catches his breath, showing signs of perspiration already, and holding onto the announcer's table. Vitamin X and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez watch P.R. in awe while Colombian Heat slowly gets up.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Finally, Tha Puerto Rican has return to Pittsburgh, Pennslyvania. It's here! School's Out: Class Dismissed! A night where Black T will retain the OaOasT Tag Team Championships. A night where Zack Malibu will retain the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship. And a night where Tha Puerto Rican, THE SINGLE most electrifying man in professional wrestling, will beat that sumbitch Colombian Heat up and down, down and up the OaOasT Arena until he is screaming "Mercy!". Now, P.R. didn't want to do this to you, but you pissed me off one too many times. YOU were like a brother to me, Heat. YOU were my best friend! But you flush it all away! It's YOUR fault we're fightning! It's YOUR fault we're enemies. It's all your Fu(Bleep) fault! YOU are to blame! You are a screwup! And you will always be a screwup. A nobody. A chump. A grade-A Loser. And tonight, the millions upon millions of Tha Puerto Rican's fans will see what I've been saying all along, that you are a jabrony. A scrub. A---AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Colombian Heat chokes Tha Puerto Rican with a cable wire.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
I HATE YOU!!!

Tha Puerto Rican tries elbowing Heat. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is screaming.

VITAMIN X:
NO COME ON! Tha Puerto Rican was in the middle of a stirring speech, but Colombian Heat had to ruin it like he always does! That bastard! Leave him alone. He caught him unprepared! Come on! Heat! Let him go!

THA PUERTO RICAN:
I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!

COLOMBIAN HEAT:
NOT ANYMORE!

Colombian Heat lets go of the wire, and beats on Tha Puerto Rican.

VITAMIN X:
Heat with the advantage once again, but not under fair circumstances. That's for damn sure!

LINDSAY:
HURT HIM! HURT HIM! HURT HIM!

Colombian Heat beats on P.R. some more. He Irish Whips P.R. into a barricade. However, Tha Puerto Rican reverses, and Colombian Heat hits the barricade, breaking through it.

VITAMIN X:
OH! THAT HAD TO HURT! THAT HAD TO HURT! WHAT A MOVE BY THA PUERTO RICAN! WHAT ANOTHER INCREDIBLE MOVE! WOWZA!

Colombian Heat groans on the floor as Tha Puerto Rican heads towards him. He spits on Heat's face.

LINDSAY:
Oh SNAP~! He just did not do that. Oh no he didn't!

Tha Puerto Rican urges Heat to get up.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
You won't get up? Fine. I'll do it for you!

VITAMIN X:
That was a great move. Heat just done got thrown through a barricade! Let's take a look at the instant replay.

::The instant replay plays::

VITAMIN X:
Goddamn. Only Tha Puerto Rican could do somethin' like that. That was sweet.

Tha Puerto Rican grabs Colombian Heat and beats on him in the seat section of the empty arena. The referee follows.

VITAMIN X:
Just to let you know, we have cameras all over the arena that will pick up the action immediatley, no matter where they are at. And the best part is, we have no idea where Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat will go next!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
Only an Empty Arena Match could have this level of unpredictibilty. You can't get this kind of action anywhere else!

P.R. goes for the cover.

1...












2...



















THR-KICK OUT!!!

P.R. curses Heat.

VITAMIN X:
I feel for you, P.R. I understand what you're feeling. I'm pissed too.

Tha Puerto Rican grabs Colombian Heat's head and smashes it on the cold hard floor. He then grabs Heat again and whips him into a row of chairs that collaspes the moment Heat hits it. Heat groans loudly. Chairs now cover the floor, with Heat lying on top of some of the chairs.

VITAMIN X:
And Heat continues getting dealt with a lotta pain, as Tha Puerto Rican has just sent Colombian Heat into a row of chairs. Keep going, P.R.! You gotta keep going! Make Heat suffer!

LINDSAY:
COME ON!

Tha Puerto Rican curses at Colombian Heat in Spanish. Heat struggles to get up, but is unsucessful as P.R. grabs one of the chairs, and drops it onto Heat's back. Heat lets out a loud scream. P.R. grabs another chair and uses it on Colombian Heat.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
THIRD TIMES A CHARM!

P.R. smashes a third chair onto Colombian Heat's back. P.R. tries to kick Heat, but Heat grabs P.R.'s foot and shoves him onto the chairs. P.R. hits hard and grabs the back of his head. Colombian Heat quickly gets up and stands over P.R. Colombian Heat chokes Tha Puerto Rican on top of the chairs. P.R. gags for air, but Heat continues the assault.

VITAMIN X:
WHAT'S COLOMBIAN HEAT DOING? HE'S GOING TO KILL THA PUERTO RICAN! HE'S GOING TO KILL THA PUERTO RICAN!!!

Colombian Heat continues choking P.R. with the crowd in the School's Out arena getting hyper. However, P.R. grabs one of the chairs and hits Heat with it stopping the choking. He tries to fight again, but Colombian Heat grabs him and gives him the Pimp Juice on the floor.

VITAMIN X:
And a flatliner on the cold hard concrete. Could that move possibly damage P.R.'s matinee idol looks?!

LINDSAY:
What do you care? You're not the one that has to sleep with him!

Colombian Heat kicks P.R. in the face several times. He does a soccer like kick in the gut of Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican coughs several times. Colombian Heat trash talks Heat in Spanish and then picks up Tha Puerto Rican. The two former best friends head towards the stairs in the empty arena. Heat smashes P.R. on one of the stairs. Heat does it several times.

VITAMIN X:
COME ON! COME ON! ONCE IS ENOUGH! ONCE IS ENOUGH COME ON! WE DON'T NEED THIS! OH! P.R.'S GOOD LOOKS! DAMAGE BECAUSE OF SOME JEALOUS PUNK!

Colombian Heat drags Tha Puerto Rican up the stairs.

COLOMBIAN HEAT:
I'll teach you to call me a scrub! I'll teach you to say I was a coatail rider! I'll teach you to call me an idiot!

VITAMIN X:
Tha Puerto Rican is being dragged AGAINST HIS OWN WILL up the stairs to the concession stand by Colombian Heat!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
UGH. THIS IS AN INJUSTICE. THIS IS NOT RIGHT!

Colombian Heat and Tha Puerto Rican reach the concession stand. P.R. suddenly spears Colombian Heat into the popcorn vending machine. The force of the spear causes the glass to break and the popcorn to spill out onto the floor and onto Colombian Heat.

VITAMIN X:
OH YEAH! THERE WE GO! THAT'S MY BOY! THAT'S MY BOY! HA! THERE WE GO!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
OH YEAH! THAT'S MY MAN! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!

Tha Puerto Rican laughs at Colombian Heat and then takes one of the popcorn and eats it. He then spits it back out at Colombian Heat.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
YUCK! Too much salt!

VITAMIN X:
HA! HA! That's the great wit and humour of our boss. Only he can be so witty!

P.R. beats on Heat and then shoves Colombian Heat onto a chair. Colombian Heat lies on one of the stairs. P.R. gets a sick look on his face...and does a soccer like kick onto Colombian Heat's stomach causing Heat to fall down the fleight of stairs until he reaches a barricade.

VITAMIN X:
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
HA! Colombian Heat took a mighty big fall with that move.

VITAMIN X:
Tha Puerto Rican just hit a soccer like kick onto Colombian Heat, sending him falling and falling down and down. Let's look at the replay.

::An instant replay of Colombian Heat's fall down the stairs is shown.::

VITAMIN X:
There you see it. Colombian Heat falling about 5 feet down. His head bouncing off the stairs. Bum-da-la, bum-da-la, bum-da-la, bum-da-la! BOO-YAH! Colombian Heat gots to be in serious pain at this moment. His poor wittle body has just taken too much punishment from Tha Puerto Rican to surive in this matchup any longer!

Tha Puerto Rican laughs evilly at Colombian Heat and walks down the fleight of stairs, trashtalking Heat. Heat struggles to get up, coughing and wheezing, while P.R. smiles. The referee checks to see if Heat is okay. P.R. shoves the referee away and grabs a trashcan. Tha Puerto Rican smashes the trashcan onto Colombian Heat.

VITAMIN X:
OUCH! THAT JUST HAS TO HURT! Colombian Heat just got with a trash can by Tha Puerto Rican and the match still continues. It looks like we are now heading into another part of the arena. I don't know which part exactly. But P.R. is following Colombian Heat who is crawling somewhere else.

The camera cuts to Vitamin X and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez.

VITAMIN X:
Okay. We are now told that P.R. and Colombian Heat are...now in the kitchen. The kitchen of the OaOasT Arena. Our cameras will now be heading to that location and filming. Just hang on a second folks.

The camera kills the time until it P.R. and Heat are found by zooming in on Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez's clevage. Vitamin X notices this.

VITAMIN X:
HEY! You little--wait a minute! Hold on...yes. Yes. We are now going to head to the kitchen backstage at the OaOasT Arena. Let's head to it right now, action is happening as we speak. Let's go! Move it!

We cut to a cameraman running towards the kitchen. He opens the door and finds Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat brawling.

VITAMIN X:
No one's in the kitchen making food. Remember, this is an Empty Arena Match. The only people that are here in this arena are me, Lindsay, the referee, Colombian Punk, and Tha Puerto Rican.

P.R. and Heat continue their brawling. Colombian Heat charges after Tha Puerto Rican, but P.R. grabs a pot and smashes it across Heat's face, knocking him to the floor.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
COME ON YOU JABRONY! GET UP AND FIGHT ME! COME ON, YOU CLAIM YOU ARE SUCH A TOUGH GUY? WELL, GO AHEAD AND PROVE IT! HUH? FIGHT ME! DAMNIT! FIGHT ME! TAKE THIS!

Tha Puerto Rican grabs a stick and breaks it across Colombian Heat's back. He then uses the pieces of the stick as drumsticks.

P.R.:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! YOU. ARE. PATHEIC. YOU ARE AN IDIOT! YOU SUCK, PAL.

VITAMIN X:
Tha Puerto Rican is continuing the assault in the kitchen! He's using everything but the kitchen sink.

P.R. looks for whatever he can use to attack. He grabs bags of popcorn and drops them on Colombian Heat, making sure to keep him on the floor with the referee looking the entire time. P.R. smashes Colombian Heat's face on the floor repeatley and then grabs a rack filled with cotton candy in plastic bags. He throws the rack into Colombian Heat's face knocking him down once again.

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
Oh man. Such good cotton candy going to waste. Which reminds me, we gotta go out later tonight to celebrate P.R.'s victory over Colombian Heat! What do you want to do, Italian or French?

VITAMIN X:
Italian.

P.R. takes off Colombian Heat's bandana and chokes him with it. Tha Puerto Rican drags Colombian Heat over to an oven and smashes his head into it creating a dent.

VITAMIN X:
GOOD GOD! THAT HAD TO HURT! COLOMBIAN HEAT'S UGLY MUG NOW HAS AN IMPRINT IN THAT OVEN! HA! CAN YOU BELIVE IT?

Tha Puerto Rican bodyslams Colombian Heat onto the floor. P.R. takes the clock that is hung around Colombian Heat's neck and waits for him to get up. When he does, P.R. smashes the clock into Heat's face breaking the glass on the clock. Tha Puerto Rican heads to an oven that is marked 400 degrees and opens it and throws the clock in there. Tha Puerto Rican leaves the oven open and grabs Colombian Heat. He heads towards the oven.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Would you like your Colombian Heat original or...

Tha Puerto Rican shoves Colombian Heat's face into the oven burning him. Heat screams for his life. P.R. finally lets go.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
...or extra crispy?

P.R. beats on Colombian Heat.

VITAMIN X:
That was incredible! Colombian Heat, the man who, at one time was Tha Puerto Rican's best friend, has just got his head forcefully shoved onto a 400 degree oven by Tha Puerto Rican! That's the ticket!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
I never knew my man was capable of doing such things! I like it!

VITAMIN X:
Tha Puerto Rican with an Irish Whip onto one of the tables.

Pots and pans go flying off the table the moment Heat hits it. He lies on top of the table, while P.R. beats on him. Colombian Heat is dazed, in pain, sweating, and breathing hard. Tha Puerto Rican trash talks and then heads to the top of another table. Tha Puerto Rican removes his left elbow pad, and leaps off onto Colombian Heat hitting the F.U. Elbow Drop.

VITAMIN X:
A F.U. Elbow Drop from one table to another! Wow. An incredible innovative move from Tha Puerto Rican debuting tonight at School's Out: Class Dismissed! What a great match we are seeing so far, with Tha Puerto Rican having the advantage, kicking Colombian Heat all over the arena.

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
WHOOOO! GO P.R.!

Colombian Heat falls onto the floor. Tha Puerto Rican grabs a cookie sheet and smashes it onto the top of Colombian Heat's head. Heat crumbles onto the floor. Tha Puerto Rican covers Colombian Heat.

VITAMIN X:
HERE WE GO! THE MATCH IS OVER! THE MATCH IS OVER!

1...











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THRE--KICK OUT!!!

VITAMIN X:
DAMNIT!!! DAMNIT!!! DAMNIT!!! DAMNIT!!! DAMNIT!!! THAT WAS A FLUKE! HOW WAS HEAT ABLE TO KICK OUT! AFTER ALL THE PUNISHMENT HE WAS TAKING? AFTER ALL THE ASS KICKING? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!!!! COME ON! PIN HIM! PIN HIM!

P.R. goes for another cover. It gets a two count. The crowd inside the School's Out arena cheers loudly and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" but then transforms that into a "LET'S GO HEAT! LET'S GO HEAT! LET'S GO HEAT! LET'S GO HEAT!" P.R. and Heat get up once again. The two men begin brawling once again, going back and forth with neither man getting the advantage. Tha Puerto Rican gets an edge and whips Colombian Heat into a cart filled with plates. However, Heat reverses, and Tha Puerto Rican hits the cart filled with plates, causing some of the plates to fall off and break onto the floor. The crowd cheers.

COLOMBIAN HEAT:
I am NOT going down without a fight! I will take it to you, P.R.! Even if one of us has to die from this!

VITAMIN X:
That's tough talk, but you can't back it up in the ring, G! HA! I made a funny! HA!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ (sarcastic):
Yeah. Surrrreeeee.

VITAMIN X:
And it looks like the fight in the kitchen is over, since as you people can see, Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat are heading out the exit door.

Colombian Heat drags Tha Puerto Rican out of the kitchen. The camera stays in the kitchen for a few seconds causing the crowd to boo.

VITAMIN X:
Well, we now are going to get the other cameras into position as we once again don't know where Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat are going.

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
I'm starting to worry about Tha Puerto Rican, X. Colombian Heat seems to be beating him up.

VITAMIN X:
SHHH! Don't say that on the air!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
Oops.

The camera cuts to someone running down a hallway through a door. It is the cafeteria where Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat are shown lying on the floor with food covering it. P.R. and Heat are breathing hard, sweating, and struggling to get up.

VITAMIN X:
Okay. Okay. We are now...we are now in the cafeteria of the OaOasT Arena. Yes, in the cafeteria, and it looks like something big must have gone down during the break since P.R. and Heat are both down on the floor struggling to get up.

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
I hope Tha Puerto Rican isn't hurt. I don't want my baby to be injured.

VITAMIN X:
Relax Lindsay. It's going to be fine. Tha Puerto Rican is going to be fine. And the brawling continues. P.R. and Heat are getting shots in left and right. The fighting is still going on. We don't know how much longer. P.R. and Heat may fight all night long! But don't worry, we're not going anywhere. We will not stop till the match stops!

P.R. and Heat continue brawling in the cafeteria. P.R. and Heat head over to the catering table. Tha Puerto Rican beats on Colombian Heat there, smashing his head on the table. Tha Puerto Rican grabs a dorito chip, and dips it in salsa.

THA PUERTO RICAN (singing):
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance and take off their underpants/my salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance and take off their underpants/my salsa.

P.R. eats the chip, but then spits it back out into Colombian Heat's face.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
It's mild!

Tha Puerto Rican kicks Colombian Heat square in the jaw.

VITAMIN X:
Ooh. That ain't good. Everyone knows Tha Puerto Rican likes his salsa nice and hot!

Tha Puerto Rican grabs the salsa and throws it all over Colombian Heat. Heat screams as he is now covered in salsa. "IT BURNS! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

VITAMIN X:
Looks like Colombian Heat can't take the heat, huh? HA!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
No.

VITAMIN X:
I'll stop now.

Tha Puerto Rican beats on Colombian Heat some more, yelling and screaming along the way. He grabs a garbage can and hits Colombian Heat with it several times. Tha Puerto Rican grabs Colombian Heat and slaps him in the face.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Gee, Heat, you know, you are very skinny. 173 lbs. That's awfully skinny for a wrestler. Here, let me help you gain some weight! Enjoy!

P.R. puts Colombian Heat on the table and slides him across it, knocking food off the table. Heat falls face-first onto the first. Heat groans and holds his head, while P.R. laughs evilly.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Come on skinny bones. Eat! Damn you. Come on skinny bones.

Tha Puerto Rican flips over several baskets filled with bread, forks, spoons, knives, plates, and cups. Some hit Colombian Heat.

VITAMIN X:
We got a food fight going on in the cafeteria.

Tha Puerto Rican grabs Colombian Heat, but Heat hits P.R. with a basket filled with bread. It knocks P.R. off balance, giving Colombian Heat enough time to beat on P.R. The crowd in the School's Out arena cheer loudly as Colombian Heat goes between trashtalking and beating on Tha Puerto Rican. Heat chokes Tha Puerto Rican and kicks him in the stomach.

VITAMIN X:
This has been a non-stop brawl. Going back and forth. We only saw actual pure wrestling in the beginning first 5 minutes. Ever since then we've seen nothing but brawling everywhere in this arena in this Empty Arena Match at School's Out: Class Dismissed Sunday May 23, 2004. The pay-per-view will later tonight Zack Malibu will DESTROY Crystal to retain the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship.

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
And look whose been in control for the majority of the match, Tha Puerto Rican!

VITAMIN X:
YES! THAT IS TRUE! Tha Puerto Rican has been in control for a while now. But the match still continues with no signs of stopping. And--NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Colombian Heat puts Tha Puerto Rican between his legs, and prepares to lift him up.

VITAMIN X:
NO! NO! NO! THIS CAN'T BE! NO!

Colombian Heat tries to lift Tha Puerto Rican up, but P.R. refuses to go. He tries again, but P.R. still holds on. Colombian Heat tries again, but P.R. lifts Heat up and sends Colombian Heat to roll across the catering table and land on the floor face-first. Heat groans.

VITAMIN X:
Oh Thank God. Oh Thank God. P.R. is still safe. Tha Puerto Rican has yet to lose. Yes. Yes. Oh Thank Goodness. The match still continues. Let's Go P.R.! And now Colombian Heat crawling, trying to find some sort of escape, but P.R. is still continuing the assault.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Come on Heat! You're too skinny! Come on skinnybones! Get healthy! Eat! Here! Have some apples!

P.R. throws an apple at Colombian Heat's head as he gets up.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
How about some bananas?

P.R. throws bananas at Heat as he is on one knee.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Want some pears?

P.R. throws a pear at Heat.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
And what about some nice grapes!

Heat gets hit by grapes. Tha Puerto Rican picks up a cantoloupe. P.R. has a confused look on his face, wondering what exactly he is holding.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
I don't even know what the hell this is!!!

Tha Puerto Rican throws the cantoloupe straight onto Colombian Heat's head. Heat staggers a bit but continues fighting.

VITAMIN X:
That was a cantoloupe, ladies and gentlemen. Tha Puerto Rican threw a cantoloupe at Colombian Heat.

P.R. gets on top of the catering table, and dives off with a flying clothesline knocking Colombian Heat down.

VITAMIN X:
My, what an incredible move!

Tha Puerto Rican quickly gets back up as Colombian Heat still stays on the floor, crawling, breathing heavily. P.R. looks at the catering table for something else to use, and finds a single 40 oz malt liquor bottle standing solo. P.R. grabs the liquor bottle and looks at it with a confused look on his face.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Wha--what the? What? Who exactly drinks a 40 oz. bottle of malt liquor at this time of day?!!! You people should be ashamed of yourselves. *sigh*

Tha Puerto Rican opens the 40 oz. bottle and stands over a crawling Colombian Heat, all sentimental and depressed. Pretending to cry, he speaks.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
This one goes out to all my dead homeys.

P.R. pours the 40 oz. malt liquor onto Colombian Heat. Heat groans while being covered in malt liquor.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Yeah. You hear that? My DEAD homeys. You know why? Because you're dead to me, Heat. You're not my friend, you're not even ALIVE to me. You're dead. You no longer exist! You're dead! You're history!

VITAMIN X:
Ooh! That has to hit Colombian Heat hard. That has got to hurt him emotionally. That must break his heart.

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
God, Heat is one ugly bastard. Look at him! Covered in sweat, salsa, and now malt liquor. And I'm not even talking about his face! Gawd! What woman would want to get with him, my god! He ain't handsome like Tha Puerto Rican.

Tha Puerto Rican spits in Colombian Heat's face. The crowd in the School's Out arena boos once again, chanting "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" P.R. drags Colombian Heat, now covered in sweat, salsa, and malt liquour out of the cafeteria.

VITAMIN X:
And now, they're gone once again. But--wait--we can now go to the other camera, they are now in Bill Watts' office in the OaOasT Arena. Let's go immediatley to that right now.

The camera cuts to Bill Watts' office in the OaOasT Arena. The crowd cheers when they finally see some action on the screen. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat are now brawling in the office. The crowd in the School's Out arena are cheering loudly. P.R. whips Heat into a bookcase and then follows with a spinning heel kick. He then waits for Heat to get up and gives him a spinning wheel kick. P.R. heads to a couch and then does The Mad Cappa Crusher 2003 on Heat sucessfully. Tha Puerto Rican continues beating on Colombian Heat, punching him onto the couch, and then takes off his battery for his mic and hits him with it, followed by choking him with the mic itself. The referee tries to stop P.R., but P.R. shoves him back. Tha Puerto Rican stops choking Heat and throws the mic away and picks up Colombian Heat and sends him into the table. P.R. laughs evilly and sneers at Colombian Heat, when suddenly, the phone rings.

VITAMIN X:
Huh? Well, who can that be? Who would be calling now, we're in the middle of the pay-per-view which Bill Watts is watching!

The phone continues ringing, so Tha Puerto Rican picks up the phone, while holding Colombian Heat. Tha Puerto Rican speaks in a friendly voice with a smile on his face.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Hello, Don't-Call-Me-Lightning-Kid Hotel, Tha Puerto Rican speaking. No, I'm afraid Colombian Heat cannot come to the phone right now. He's a little busy...with THA PUERTO RICAN'S FOOT IN HIS MOUTH!

Tha Puerto Rican hangs up the phone and kicks Colombian Heat in his face again and then beats on him. Colombian Heat screams in pain, trying to escape, but Tha Puerto Rican continues the attack. Suddenly, the phone rings again. P.R. stops the attack, annoyed.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
Not again. (Picks up phone; a little annoyed) Hello, Candy Ass Cafe, how can Tha Puerto Rican help you? No, I'm sorry. Colombian Heat's not available right now...HE'S A LITTLE TIED UP!

Tha Puerto Rican wraps the phone cord around Colombian Heat's neck. Heat gags for air, but P.R. continues choking Heat with the phone cord.

VITAMIN X:
Tha Puerto Rican is thinking of new and creative ways to make Colombian Heat suffer. This is great. This is excellent. I am in awe of P.R.'s abilities right now. They are incredible. And now the fight is out of Bill Watts' office, and who knows where.

Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat continue their brawl in a hallway. They fight all the way down the hallway with Colombian Heat smashing Tha Puerto Rican's face into one of the walls. They continue brawling and head out through another door. The crowd in the School's Out arena boos loudly.

VITAMIN X:
And once AGAIN, we don't know where they are going. But don't worry, folks, we will find out where they are going ASAP. Just a few more seconds left to wait. Don't worry. Ah--here we go. They're now in the parking lot, and luckily, we are there just a few seconds early before they show up!

The camera cuts to the parking lot entrance. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat come crashing through. It is nighttime in Pittsburgh as the two men continue their fight. Neither man has the advantage as they fight all over the parking lot.

VITAMIN X:
COME ON, P.R.! STRIKE! STRIKE! ATTACK! ATTACK!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
COME ON, P.R.! COME ON BABY!

P.R. and Heat continue fighting. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat collide with a double clothesline and fall on the concrete at the same time.

VITAMIN X:
And now both men are knocked out. Which one will get up first? Hopefully, the REAL People's Champion does! Come on! P.R.! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP DAMNIT!

LINDSAY:
COME ON!

P.R. and Heat both lie on the floor. Both men show signs of getting up, and soon do.

THA PUERTO RICAN:
TIME TO LOSE, HEAT!

Tha Puerto Rican kicks Colombian Heat in the gut.

VITAMIN X:
YEAH! HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! P.R. NIGHTMARE TIME! P.R. NIGHTMARE TIME!!!

Tha Puerto Rican sets Colombian Heat up for the P.R. Nightmare. He goes for it, but he can't do it. Colombian Heat holds on and escapes. He kicks Tha Puerto Rican in the gut, gets behind him, turns him around, and lifts him up. The crowd in the School's Out Arena is going crazy. Colombian Heat is about to do the Colombian Necktie.

VITAMIN X:
NO! NO! NO! NO! IT CAN'T BE! IT CAN'T BE! NO! DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT! NOOOOOO!!!! NO!!!!

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
NOOOOO!!!

The crowd in the School's Out Arena is cheering loudly as Colombian Heat gets set to bring P.R. down on the concrete. Suddenly, Colombian Heat gets brought down with a lead pipe used by a man. P.R. falls to the floor on top of Heat. The crowd is shocked.

VITAMIN X:
WHAT THE? WHO? WHAT? UH? LINDSAY? WHAT WAS THAT?

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
I don't know. Uh. Who was that? Who saved P.R.?

The camera pans farther away to reveal the mystery man....STEPHEN JOSEPH. The crowd is in shock at what they just saw. Tha Puerto Rican is shocked too. He looks at SJ saying "WHAT?"

VITAMIN X:
WHAT THE? STEPHEN JOSEPH! THE MAN FORMELY KNOWN AS BIG POPPA POPICK HAS JUST ATTACKED COLOMBIAN HEAT WITH A LEAD PIPE! BUT WHY? I THOUGHT HE HATED THA PUERTO RICAN! REMEMBER, IT WAS HE THAT MADE THE OAOAST PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP AN OFFICIAL OAOAST TITLE BELT!

Stephen Joseph removes his leather jacket to reveal a white Lightning Crew t-shirt. The crowd boos even louder. Even Tha Puerto Rican doesn't know what to make of it. Stephen Joseph orders Tha Puerto Rican to cover Colombian Heat.

STEPHEN JOSEPH:
COVER HIM! COVER HIM!

VITAMIN X:
I THINK EVEN THA PUERTO RICAN IS SHOCKED AT WHAT WE JUST SAW! DID HE KNOW ABOUT THIS?

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
I DON'T EVEN THINK P.R. KNEW ABOUT THIS. STEPHEN JOSEPH IN A LIGHTNING CREW T-SHIRT?!!!

Tha Puerto Rican picks Colombian Heat up and kicks him in the gut again. P.R. Nightmare on Colombian Heat. The crowd is still stunned. Stephen Joseph orders the referee to count. Tha Puerto Rican covers Colombian Heat.

1...

















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3!!!!

*DING DING DING*

VITAMIN X:
What? Uh--I--I--I don't know. What does this all mean? Why is Stephen Joseph out here? And why is he wearing a Lightning Crew t-shirt? He's not a member...is he? What does this all mean?

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
I don't really know. This is all confusing. Tha Puerto Rican had the match won, then Stephen Joseph appears and attacks Colombian Heat with a lead pipe. But why? Joseph has screwed with P.R. many times in the past. What's the point of this?

MICHAEL BUFFER:
The winner of this match....THA PUERTOOOOOOOO RICCCANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

::"No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds plays in the School's Out arena while the crowd boos loudly, shocked at the apparent heel turn they've just seen.::

VITAMIN X:
Out of all the people in the world to help Tha Puerto Rican, why did Stephen Joseph do so? Why has he had this sudden change of heart. 2 months ago he was congradulating The Mad Cappa for defeating Tha Puerto Rican and was probalby Cappa's biggest fan, now he is helping Cappa's opponent 2 months ago, for some unexplained reason!
Trust us, we have no idea, NONE about why Stephen Joseph is wearing a Lightning Crew t-shirt. And this is The Lightning Crew talking.

::"No Chance In Hell" continues to play as Colombian Heat lies on the floor in pain. Tha Puerto Rican is still confused as he looks at Stephen Joseph. Joseph motions to P.R. about The LC showing his shirt. He sticks his right hand out. P.R. looks at it with hesitation. A little confused, P.R. finally plays along and puts out his left hand. Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph shake hands causing the crowd to boo even louder. The crowd chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph look at each other with sneers on their faces which turn into sly smirks. P.R. mutters "I could get use to do this." P.R. and Joseph look down at the fallen Colombian Heat and laugh evilly. Joseph kicks Heat in the stomach one time, causing P.R. to applaud. He raises his arms in victory causing the crowd to boo.::

VITAMIN X:
P.R. and Stephen Joseph appear to be on the same team, but why? That is the question everyone wants to know.

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ:
P.R. and Joseph just shook hands. Lemme talk to P.R., I can talk to him later. P.R. has just beaten Colombian Heat, but...Stephen Joseph helped him.

VITAMIN X:
This should be a great moment, and it is, but the bigger question is why exactly Stephen Joseph helped P.R. Did P.R. want to suprise us with a new member, because we always know who is going to join The Lightning Crew before they do. This is a big suprise that must be sorted out, starting this week on HeldDOWN~! on Thursday.

::Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph walk side by side away.::

STEPHEN JOSEPH:
You know, P.R., I think this can be the start of a beautiful friendship.

::The camera focues on Colombian Heat, who is still knocked out. The referee goes to check on him as Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph disappear.::

VITAMIN X:
Well, that was a great match with the right man coming out on top! That's all from us, now let's send it back to School's Out: Class Dismissed announcers' Triple C: Michael Cole, Jonathon Coachman, and Caboose, take it away!

::The camera cuts to Sofa Central with Triple C. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds continues playing as Triple C sit in shock at what they saw.::

MICHAEL COLE:
If Stephen Joseph DID infact join The Lightning Crew, he has sunk to a new low that I thought he would never sink to again!

COACHMAN:
Stephen Joseph forced P.R. and The Mad Cappa to fight each other, which led to the match we just saw. Why then, would these two men, want to join up as a team? I thought Stephen Joseph turned over a new leaf since he stopped the Trinity!

CABOOSE:
I guess *that* Popick wasn't the real Popick. Maybe this one that we just saw is the real Stephen Joseph! Maybe Trinity Popick is the real one. Maybe this OaOasT Corporate Representive was just that, a representive. Not the actual person. Maybe this was the real Stephen Joseph all along!

MICHAEL COLE:
This was certainly a shock. No one saw this coming. Stephen Joseph, retired OaOasT Superstar and member of OaOasT Corporate, helped Tha Puerto Rican. But why? And is he actually a member of The Lightning Crew? I guess we'll get the answers this Thursday on HeldDOWN~!. And something tells me that this P.R./Colombian Heat feud is far from over.

COACH:
No doubt, yo. You know Colombian Heat is going to be fuming when he wakes up and found out that he lost. That is not going to sit well with him at all. Oh boy. This is going to get him mad. I can't wait to see what's next in this feud!

COLE:
What a rollercoaster of a match we just saw. The Empty Arena Match. Tha Puerto Rican vs. Colombian Heat with Tha Puerto Rican coming out on top thanks to the help of none other than STEPHEN JOSEPH! But I tell you this, if you are going to have someone on your side, it's a good idea to have an OaOasT veteran like the man formely known as Big Poppa Popick.

CABOOSE:
Damn right, Joseph is a WAY better right hand man than Colombian Heat. He is an OaOasT veteran. A ring techinician. And don't forget, he is apart of OaOasT Corporate so his connections can help Tha Puerto Rican. Kudos to both P.R. and SJ. They made the right decision.

COLE:
Already a wild night here at School's Out: Class Dismissed. You can bet that Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat STILL have a score to settle and with Stephen Joseph now in the equation, things just got a whole lot more interesting! What's next in this unique feud? We'll find out this Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!.
 

[Chanel #99]

COLE
Well, what better way to cap off the night than with a good old fashioned grudge match?

CABOOSE
You mean a good old fashioned squash, don't you Cole? I mean, you don't expect Crystal to WIN, do you?

COACH
Yo...holla atcha boy! I do!

CABOOSE
You don't count, you mental midget.

COLE
Caboose, as I've learned from Zack Malibu's recent attitude change, anything's possible. Take a look at what happened earlier, as he couldn't even do things fairly tonight. He had to have Hoff attack Crystal right when we went on the air, and even steal the 24/7 Title from her in the process. Now she's not at one hundred percent, but she's also not going to take these attacks lightly. Only one way to find out who's going to be right, and that's to pass it up to Michael Buffer for the introduce tonights main event!

The camera cuts to the ring, where the world reknowned announcer stands, holding his ever present microphone.

BUFFER
Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS is your main event at School's Out:Class Dismissed, and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

As soon as Buffer finishes his sentence, "Set It Off" starts up, and the fans jump to their feet! Smoke spreads across the stage area, and the bright lights of the arena are replaced with pulsing red strobe lights, as CRYSTAL comes charging out of the back, looking as energized as ever! Crystal jogs across the stage, stopping at each end and pointing out to her fans, who show her respect with a huge pop.

BUFFER
Making her way to the ring now...she is from Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada. She weighs in at one hundred, thirty eight pounds...she is the Female Phenom of the OAOAST...CRRRRRRRRYSSSSSSSSTALLLLLLL!

Another loud pop follows Buffer's introduction of Crystal, as she slingshots over the ropes, into the ring and walks to the corner, propping herself up on the ropes and raising her hands, continuing to egg the crowd on.

CABOOSE
For someone who's about to be taught a life lesson, she's awfully happy.

The music fades, and the lights dim again, though this time they cause the arena to be pitch black. Upon the opening guitar chord of Stabbing Westward's "Nothing", golden pyro shoots from both under and above the stage, showering the entrance, as Zack Malibu, accompanied by Candie, walks out. Fans boo the OAOAST World Champion heavily, as he surveys the crowd, scowling at the fans who lack respect for him. He and Candie then begin walking down the ramp slowly, stopping every few moments to glare at the crowd, silently scolding them for their anti-Zack chants.

BUFFER
Introducing now, the champion. Now hailing from his new home in "The OC", he weighs in at an even two hundred pounds. He is the current reigning and defending OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORRRRLLLLLLD, the leader of The Thrillogy, "The Franchise", ZAAAAAAAACK MALLLLLIBUUUUUUU!

Malibu stands on the ramp, unstraps the belt from around his waist and raises it high, showing it off to the fans in the building. Malibu holds the ropes for Candie to enter the ring, and then steps in himself, jogging in place as a warmup as he eyes his rival across the ring. Candie moves forward, pointing and calling out Crystal, but referee Charles Robinson blocks her path, pushing her back. Candie continues to mock Crystal as she's ushered out of the ring, and Malibu leans through the ropes to get a pre-match kiss before the bell is rung.

COLE
Here we go!

Malibu and Crystal circle each other, with Zack smirking at his opponent and Crystal burning a hole through him with her glare. After a few moments of measuring each other up, they collide in mid ring, tying up and jockeying for position, and Malibu quickly shoves Crystal back. Unaffected, she comes right back at him, and they lock up a second time, with Malibu using a quick go behind into a waistlock, and then shoving Crystal forward!

COACH
He's playin'!

CABOOSE
No, he's just showing her how much better he is than her.

Crystal turns around, daring Zack to fight her and stop treating her as a joke. Malibu comes at her and waves his finger in her face, talking down to her, but she knocks his hand away and then fires off a series of punches, each one hitting their mark, and backing Zack up to the ropes! Crystal quickly takes his arm and sends him to the opposite side, then slides to the mat, laying on her stomach so that Zack hops over her on the rebound. Crystal gets up as Zack rebounds the second time, and catches him with an arm drag, tossing him across the ring! Zack quickly gets to his feet and charges in, but again gets carried over with an arm drag! Quick to his feet again, Malibu comes forward, but gets taken over with a fireman's carry, and as he's getting up from it, gets caught with a dropkick that sends him falling back into the corner, as the crowd roars in approval of Crystal's dominance! Malibu, perturbed by her taking the advantage, sneers at Crystal, while she smirks right back, egging him on. He comes charging out of the corner after her, but gets taken to the mat with a drop toehold by the Female Phenom! She slides across his back, moving out in front of him and grabbing a front facelock, and pulls him up to his feet, but Malibu shoves off, shoving Crystal into the corner, and then follows up with a corner charge, nailing a clothesline as he sandwiches her! Crystal slouches, but Malibu jerks her up by the hair, and props her up in the corner, letting loose with a stiff open hand chop that echoes throughout the arena! Crystal moans in pain, and that's music to Zack's ears, as he lets her have it again, nailing her with a second chop. Crystal hunches over, trying to deflect anymore, so Zack takes her by the arm and whips her across the ring, into the far corner. Crystal crashes against the turnbuckles, and Zack charges in, but this time catches a foot to the fact, stunning him! Malibu staggers, and when he turns back to face Crystal, she props herself up on the second rope, and jumps over his back, pulling him down with a sunset flip, as the crowd cheers wildly!

ONE!

TWO! NO!

Malibu rolls through, backing up into the ropes and coming off with a YAKUZA KICK~! as Crystal is getting up, but she catches the foot! She spins Zack around, and quickly grabs him around the waist, lifting him up and putting him back on the mat with a back suplex! With Zack down, Crystal quickly runs the ropes, jumping over Zack's body on the rebound, and jumping up, springboarding off the ropes with the DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH~!...NO! Malibu rolls under it, and to the floor, causing Crystal to land on her feet, watching as Zack makes his escape.

COLE
And now, of course, the coward runs.

CABOOSE
What are you talking about, you twit? He's not a coward, he's just getting some air!

Malibu slides out, and is greeted by Candie, who quickly comes to the aid of her man. Malibu stands up straight, and as soon as he does, the first thing he sees is Crystal coming at him, as the Female Phenom launches herself over the top rope with a pescado that wipes out both Zack and Candie!

CABOOSE
There was no need for that! What did Candie do?

COACH
I know what she CAN do...

CABOOSE
You've got class in your ass, Coach.

COACH
Uh uh. Exit only!

The crowd shows their approval with a "Crystal" chant, as she gets up and tosses Malibu back into the ring. As Crystal starts to slide in, however, she's pulled back out by Candie, who's not to happy with what just went down! Candie rips into Crystal, bitching her out as Crystal just looks at Candie, and then DECKS her with a right hand! Candie goes flying, and now Crystal goes to re-enter the ring. She climbs up on the apron, but Zack is right there, dragging her in by the hair and then picking her up for a scoop slam...NO! Crystal slides down Zack's back, and grabs a waistlock, running Zack into the ropes, but Zack grips the top rope and prevents a rollup, causing Crystal to roll through on her own. She gets back up to her feet and charges at Zack, but he sidesteps it, and she bounces off the ropes right into his arms, as Zack catches her and then spins around, drilling her with a spinebuster!

CABOOSE
I'll bet Hoff taught him that one!

Malibu quickly covers, hooking the leg of Crystal, as referee Robinson makes the count...

ONE!

TWO!

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Crystal kicks out! Undaunted, Malibu gets up, dragging Crystal to her feet as well, and locks on a front facelock...then drives his knee into the ribs of Crystal! Malibu holds onto the facelock, doing this several more times, then finally pulls her arm up around his shoulders, and lifts her up for a delayed vertical suplex...then walks forward and drops her across the top rope, hanging her out to dry! Crystal dangles over the rope, until Zack comes and grabs her by the head again, lifting her up, then executing a slingshot suplex, and floating over into a pin! Malibu covers, ordering Robinson to get to counting, and he does...but only gets to two, as Crystal throws her shoulder up!

Again, Malibu is quick to remain on the attack, and pulls Crystal up, sending her into the ropes, but as Malibu jumps up with a great looking dropkick, Crystal holds onto the ropes and prevents herself from running into it! Malibu crashes on the mat, and as he's stunned Crystal runs forward, jumping up onto the shoulders of Zack and swinging around, taking him over with a flying headscissors! Malibu is further stunned by that move, and scrambles to his feet over by the ropes, only to have Crystal charging at him! He ducks, and Crystal goes flying over the top rope...but lands on the apron! As Malibu goes to walk away, he's pulled back, slammed head first into the canvas by Crystal, who then slingshots herself back into the ring with a slingshot senton to Malibu! Crystal pops up to her feet, raising her arms up and working the crowd, as she goes back to work on Zack. She picks him up and applies a front facelock, and now turnabout is fair play, as she lifts him up and drops HIM on the top rope! Malibu teeters on the ropes for a moment before shifting to a standing position on the apron, but as the weary Malibu is regaining his composure, he's dropkicked off the apron by Crystal, and goes soaring down into the security railing, nailing his chin! Malibu drops instantly, and the fans rejoice, as Crystal gets up on the second rope and encourages the crowd cheers directed towards her! Crystal then climbs up onto the top rope, and as Zack gets up, she leaps off, soaring through the air and crashing down onto the champion with a flying bodypress, leaving them both laying on the floor!

"CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL!"

The chant goes up, but both competitors are down, as Charles Robinson starts the ten count. Crystal rolls over onto her stomach, and pushes herself up to all fours, while Malibu struggles to his feet, crawling back into the ring under the bottom rope. Zack crawls across the canvas, and reaches up, tugging on Robinson's pants in order to bring himself up to his feet. Robinson tries to pry the champ off him, while on the outside, Crystal recovers, and turns around right into an APRON RUN DIVING CLOTHESLINE FROM CANDIE~!

COACH
WHOA~! I mean...YO~!

CABOOSE
Who are you, Joey Lawrence now?

The fans boo mercilessly, as Candie gets up, talking trash to Crystal and paying her back for the shot that Crystal got in on her earlier. Candie picks Crystal up and heaves her back into the ring under the bottom rope, and then quickly backs away before Robinson can see. Zack, having allowed Candie to get her licks in, backs away from the ref and turns to Crystal, picking her up off the canvas and holding her in a standing legscissors, then reaching down and pulling her up onto his shoulders...and slamming her down with a powerbomb! Malibu holds on though, and lifts Crystal up again, before slamming her back down!

COLE
A double powerbomb! This could do it!

Malibu keeps her legs cradled as he drops her the second time, and calls for Robinson to make the pin. Lil' Naitch slides in...

ONE!

TWO!!

THR...HAND ON THE ROPES! CRYSTAL GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE!

Angered by her ability to escape, Zack drags Crystal away from the ropes, and picks her up again, going for another powerbomb, but when he lifts Crystal, she rolls through, landing in front of Malibu, but before she can execute a followup to the counter, he grabs her around the chest and lifts, dropping her across his knee with a Rock Bottom Backbreaker~!

COLE
He almost snapped her in two!

Malibu wipes the sweat off his brow and flicks it down on the fallen female, who is in obvious pain and favoring her back heavily. Malibu kneels on the canvas, pulling Crystal's head up by the hair in order to get her to look at him, and then he takes his free hand and slaps her across the head, taunting her and running her down! Malibu stands up and pulls Crystal up with him, setting her up for another backbreaker, but this time Crystal elbows out of it, and when Zack backs away, she hooks him around the waist and carries him over with a Northern Lights Suplex...but can't hold onto the bridge due to her back pain! Crystal rolls to her knees, grimacing in pain, but stays on the attack, pulling Zack to his feet and then...

SMACK!

She hits an open hand chop, stunning Malibu!

SMACK!

Another one!

SMACK!

Another one!

Malibu nearly falls over as he tries to back away, but Crystal stays on him, grabbing his arm and whipping him to the corner, where he hits hard. Crystal hurries over to the corner and jumps up on the second rope, raising her fist to the crowd before bringing it down across Zack's forehead!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

Malibu grabs Crystal around the legs, however, and turns around, dropping HER in the corner! He then goes up to the second rope, and starts firing off his own punches!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

Crystal grabs Zack around the legs though, and walks forward with him, then drops him down across her knee with an inverted atomic drop! Malibu's jaw drops upon impact, and Crystal quickly goes behind him, lifting him by the waist and dropping him over her shoulder with a back suplex! Crystal turns around and goes for the cover...

ONE!

TWO!!

THR...KICKOUT!

The fans boo in reaction to the kickout, but Crystal maintains control, pulling the champion up to his feet and whipping him to the ropes...NO! Malibu reverses, sending Crystal into the ropes, but makes the mistake of putting his head down! Crystal rebounds off the ropes, and grabs Zack by the head, jumping up and swinging around with a DDT...NO! Malibu slides his head out of the front facelock, and pushes Crystal off. The Female Phenom lands on her feet...AND THEN GETS TURNED INSIDE OUT BY A LARIAT! Malibu falls forward after hitting the move, and quickly crawls over Crystal, draping himself across her upper body!

ONE!

TWO!!

THRE...KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!

This time the fans roar upon the kickout, as the sentimental favorite continues to fight back despite the odds. Malibu gets up and approaches referee Robinson, patting his hands together three times while talking down to the senior official.

CABOOSE
That's it Zack, show him how it's done!

Malibu shoots Robinson the evil eye before turning back to Crystal, picking her up off the canvas, and lifting her up, seating her on the top rope. Malibu follows, climbing up to the second rope, and then hooks Crystal for a superplex...but Crystal hangs on!

COLE
Thatta girl, Crystal!

Malibu tugs again, but can't carry her over. He steps up onto the top rope, hoping that his height advantage will add to the leverage, but she still grapevines the turnbuckle with her legs and won't budge. As Malibu tries, Crystal pushes Zack's legs back, causing him to lose his balance and tumble from the top rope, landing crotch first ON the top rope! The crowd goes nuts as Malibu's expression is priceless. Malibu sits still, too pained to even move, while Crystal pushes her hair back out of her eyes, stands up on the top rope, and hits a dropkick from the top onto Zack, sending him spilling off the rope and out onto the raised rampway!

Malibu rolls around on the ramp in a fetal position, while Crystal rests on all fours in the ring, physically drained. Malibu slowly gets to his feet, almost in sync with Crystal's recovery, but as he turns around Crystal is waiting on him, her hands clutching the top rope as she eagerly awaits him to turn around, then jumps up to the top rope, springboarding...backwards! Malibu turned away as Crystal prepared to soar through the air, but the Female Phenom is one step ahead, as she jumped backwards to fake him out! Malibu swings around, wondering what just happened...and gets caught with a running flip senton, as Crystal propels over the ropes and takes him down!

COACH
That's what I love about that girl! Well, that, and the obvious features.

CABOOSE
Like the similar taste you share in clothes?

Crystal stands up, as Malibu is the one worst off at this point. He lay still on the ramp, while Robinson begins a ten count on both of the participants. After looking down at Zack in his fallen state, Crystal lifts her head, looking out to the crowd...and starts walking up the ramp!

CABOOSE
Get back and fight, you coward!

COLE
This is certainly surprising.

Crystal walks up the ramp, with many fans starting to boo, wondering why she's giving up with Malibu so weakened. Crystal stops, and a slight smile comes across her face as she turns around to face Zack and the ring again, then once again looks out to the crowd. With a sudden burst of Adrenaline, Crystal runs forward, jogging down the ramp...

CABOOSE
What in the...

COLE
Oh yes...YES...

...she jumps over the body of Zack, landing on the second rope, scaring the hell out of Robinson, who was standing RIGHT THERE...

COACH
Motherf*cker!

...AND HITS THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH ON THE RAMPWAY!

COACH
YO~!

Malibu's been flattened, and the fans ERUPT, cheering loudly for the challenger, as she's just nailed Zack with her patended finishing manuever!

CABOOSE
It's all good for the highlight reel, but doesn't this stupid bitch realize pinfalls only count IN the ring?

Crystal gets up to all fours, and starts to roll Zack down the ramp, into the ring under the bottom rope. She crawls in after him, and immediately lays across him for the cover. Robinson is right there to make the count...

ONE!

TWO!!

THREE!!!



NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Two count only, and many in the building bought that as the end of Zack Malibu's second title reign. Crystal gets up, seeing that Zack is in proper position, and runs to the ropes, coming off and again jumping over Zack's body to the ropes just above him, springing backwards off the middle rope...

...AND COMING DOWN ACROSS ZACK MALIBU'S KNEES!

CABOOSE
That's what they call "going to the well too often"!

Crystal holds her ribs in pain, crying out in agony, as Malibu rolls to his feet. He nearly falls backwards, but catches himself in the corner, leaning on it for support as he sees Crystal getting to her feet. She turns around...and MALIBU HITS SCHOOL'S OUT, KNOCKING HER SILLY!

CABOOSE
Now THIS is it!

Malibu falls onto Crystal's body, not hooking the leg this time, but he may not need to...

ONE!

TWO!!

THREE!!!!!!!






KICKOUT~!!!!!!!!!!!! CRYSTAL GETS A SHOULDER UP!

ENORMOUS POP~!, as Candie pounds on the apron, shouting at Charles Robinson for not counting fast enough. Malibu crawls off of her and over towards Candie, who shouts words of encouragement towards her significant other. Zack gets up, and lumbers towards Crystal, picking her up off the canvas and quickly setting her up for the POP Drop~!...

...BUT GETS ROLLED UP IN A SMALL PACKAGE BY CRYSTAL!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

THREEE!!!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Malibu kicks her off at the last possible instant, and as both of them are getting to their feet, Malibu seizes the opportunity to strike while Crystal is dazed, kicking forward with another SCHOOL'S OUT~!...

...AND HAS HIS FOOT CAUGHT~!

Crystal reaches down, pulling the left leg out from under him....AND TURNS ZACK OVER INTO THE CRYSTALLING~!

COLE
SHE'S GOT IT HOOKED!

CABOOSE
NO! Malibu...COME ON!!!

The fans are on the edge of their seats, as Crystal leans back, holding Zack's legs up and putting pressure on his lower back. Malibu screams in pain, struggling for the ropes...anything that can get her to break the move. Malibu struggles, and the cameras quickly cut to Candie, who reaches over Michael Buffer and pulls the OAOAST World Title off of the timekeeper's table!

COLE
What is Candie doing?

Candie, holding the belt, slides into the ring and runs at Crystal to knock her head off with the belt...but gets roadblocked by Robinson! Robinson pulls the belt away from Candie, and tells her to leave the ring, causing a heated argument that ends when CRYSTAL SPEARS CANDIE~!

COACH
YO~!

COLE
Listen to this crowd! They are on their feet here tonight!

Indeed the fans are roaring, as Crystal gets up, standing over her one time friend as she rolls out of the ring! Robinson watches to make sure Candie exits as well, but when both of them turn around, neither expects Zack Malibu to be waiting on them...

SCHOOL'S OUT...


FOR CHARLES ROBINSON~! Crystal ducked, and the referee got hit with it, sending him falling through the ropes to the floor!

COLE
Little Naitch is DOWN!

CABOOSE
Go give him mouth to mouth, Cole.

Without hesitation, Crystal spears Zack as he turns to her, and lets loose with a flurry of punches, hitting him with rights and lefts while he's down! Crystal gets up off of Zack and calls him on, watching him try to stand on his own two feet, before jumping up onto his shoulders and snapping him over with a quick huracanrana! Crystal pops right back up, energized by the cheers of the crowd, as she comes at Zack...AND GETS A BELTSHOT BETWEEN THE EYES~!

COLE
Damn him!

Malibu quickly covers, but Robinson hasn't moved since hitting the floor! A few moments later, the crowd rumbles as another referee, this time Earl Hebner himself, darts down the ramp and into the ring. Malibu stays on Crystal, holding her down for the pin, as Earl makes the count!

ONE!

TWO!




THREE!!!










NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The roof on the arena is nearly blown off by the cheers from the sold out crowd, as Crystal gets a shoulder up JUST BEFORE Earl's hand hit the canvas! Earl holds two fingers up, showing that it was not a three count, much to the chagrin of Zack Malibu! Zack gets up, shocked, and grabs Earl by the collar, shouting at him and threatening to punch him, but Earl swings Malibu's arms off of him, and then sticks a finger right in his face, telling him to back up or be disqualified! Malibu eases away from the senior official, and turns around, pulling Crystal up off the mat. Crystal is dead weight though, and falls right back to the mat. Zack reaches down for her again, but Crystal quickly grabs Zack's legs, taking him to the mat AND GOING FOR THE CRYSTALLING AGAIN!

COLE
If she hooks it this time, that's it! New champion!

Crystal struggles, but her weakness shows as this time Malibu is able to fight her off and kicks her backwards. Crystal falls onto her back, and Zack rolls over, quickly trying to get to his feet. Crystal gets up as well, and before Malibu can stand up, Crystal runs at him, jumping in the air and drilling a knee into the side of his head!

COLE
ZACK ATTACK ON ZACK MALIBU!

CABOOSE
She just stole his move!

Zack crumples to the mat, his eyes rolling back into his head as he falls, and Crystal immediately lays across him, pulling his leg up and holding him down for the count!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

COLE
He kicked out!

COACH
What is it going to take for either one of these two competitors to stay down?

Crystal gets up, and drags Zack away from the ropes, setting him up in a neatly placed position parallel with them. Crystal then quickly runs the ropes, jumping over Zack's body, and again looking for the Diamond In The Rough...

COLE
If she hits this, it's all over! New champion!

...but Zack Malibu rolls over, out of range for Crystal...BUT SHE LANDS ON HER FEET!

COACH
Yeah, you go girl!

CABOOSE
1993 called. They want their catchphrase back.

Zack pulls himself up by the ropes, each grip seemingly like an endless struggle to get to his feet. Crystal comes up behind him and tries for a Russian Legsweep, but Malibu shoots an elbow into her cheekbone, knocking her away from him. When she staggers, Malibu shoots down with a double leg takedown...AND GOES FOR HIS OWN VERSION OF THE CRYSTALLING~!

CABOOSE
HA! Fighting fire with fire!

COLE
Her back can't handle this! C'mon Crystal, fight it!

Malibu rolls the determined challenger over, and cinches back, attempting to bend her in two. Crystal screams in pain, but her small stature allows her to slide out of Zack's grip and quickly slide under the bottom rope to the apron! Crystal gets up, and as Zack approaches her, ducks down and shoulderblocks him in the midsection, keeling him over. Crystal then slingshots in over Zack's back, pulling him down with a sunset flip...But Malibu sits down on Crystal and holds onto the top rope, pinning her shoulders to the canvas!

ONE!

TWO!!

THR...EARL HEBNER GETS UP AND KNOCKS ZACK'S HANDS OFF THE ROPES~! CRYSTAL PULLS HIM INTO A SUNSET FLIP!

ONE!

TWO!!

THREE!!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

COLE
People with pacemakers should NOT view this match!

CABOOSE
Listen to this crowd egg that stupid broad on!

The sold-out crowd, all on their feet, collectively chant Crystal as both competitors AGAIN get to their feet after another close call. Crystal comes towards Zack, but Malibu quickly wraps one arm around her neck, and puts his other over her head, locking her in a sleeperhold! Crystal squirms, and fires off elbows into his bread basket, stunning Zack enough so that she can break free! Crystal hits the ropes, and comes at Zack just as he's coming for her...AND THEY TAKE EACH OTHER OUT WITH SIMULTANEOUS FLYING BODYPRESSES~!

COLE
Oh My God!

CABOOSE
This is insane! Why won't she just give it up!

COACH
Because she's out to prove buttmonkeys like you wrong!

CABOOSE
Well, that was certainly an intelligent debate, Coach.

Both competitors sell the impact, rolling around on the canvas and favoring their ribs. Malibu crawls across the mat, finding his title belt resting in the corner after the part it played in the match earlier, and he scoops it up, but Hebner catches him red handed! Earl pulls the belt away from him and throws it aside, causing Zack to stare down the diminutive referee! All of a sudden, Zack is pulled back to the canvas, as Crystal uses a desperation schoolboy rollup, hoping to seal the fate of the The Franchise right here and now!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

COLE
SO CLOSE! COME ON CRYSTAL!

COACH
Not like that, Cole...LIKE THIS!

CABOOSE
Coachman, what the hell are you doing?

The cameras cut briefly, but Jonathan Coachman gets up on the announce table, and from Sofa Central, encourages the cheers of the crowd!

COACH (and everyone!)
CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL!

The audience follows, as Coach stomps and cheers from on the table, leading the chant for his favorite female. Crystal gets up and sends Zack to the ropes, but he manages to counter, and sends Crystal in...and she's tripped by a recovering Candie, who was just getting up!

COLE
NO!

CABOOSE
Oh yes!

Crystal turns around and yells at Candie, who is still very groggy from before. Hebner scolds Candie as well, and with his back turned, Malibu swipes up the title belt and runs at the distracted Crystal, nailing her in the back of the head with a beltshot!

COLE
That sonuvabitch!

Crystal falls forward, nearly taking Hebner down, but Malibu catches her, and spins her around...

COLE
NO, not like this! C'mon Earl!

...He hooks her for the POP Drop~!, but instead of dropping her with a fisherman buster, cradles her and then sits out, using a SITOUT PILEDRIVER variation of his signature move!

CABOOSE
I think I heard her neck snap, Cole!

Malibu covers, and doesn't bother hooking the leg, as Crystal is OUT COLD.

ONE!!!

TWO!!!!

THREEEEEEE!!!

*DING DING DING*

CABOOSE
You can get down now, Coachman.

"Nothing" kicks right up, as the fans in the arena shower Zack Malibu with their negative opinion of him, as he rolls out of the ring and falls to one knee on the floor, attempting to regain some composure.

BUFFER
Here is your winner...and STILL OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion...ZAAAAAAAAAACK MALLLLIBUUUUUUU!!!

COLE
Crystal could have done it! Malibu had to take the shortcut to get the victory!

CABOOSE
Tough shit. That's the way the world works. Not everyone is going to fight fairly. Crystal obviously wasn't cut out for this.

Crystal, still out cold on the canvas, is checked on by OAOAST staff and medical personnell who have run down to the ring. Several check on Malibu as well, but he shoves past them, choosing to raise his belt high and use his last ounces of energy to gloat, as he and Candie stand on the rampway, posing for the crowd.

COLE
Fans, this was one hell of a fight, but I'm sure the war is far from over. Zack Malibu put one over on Crystal this time, but karma's a bitch, that's for sure.

CABOOSE
We'll see about that, Cole. We'll see.

COLE
That's right, we will. Fans, thank you for joining us tonight, and we hope to see you all again this Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!. For Caboose...

CABOOSE
I can speak for myself, thank you.

COLE
Well then say goodbye.

CABOOSE
Adios.

COLE
...and the Coach, who's slightly perturbed at the moment, I'm Michael Cole, saying ...What's THIS?

::Stephen Joseph and Puerto Rican Lightning have appeared on the stage::

Stephen Joseph
Zack Malibu?!

::Fans Boo::

Fuck Me?

Puerto Rican Lightning
Fuck YOU!

Puerto Rican Lightning stares intently at Zack Malibu, face heaving back and forth, as Zack stares right back.

COLE
What a way to end the show! Will Puerto Rican Lightning get a title shot?

::END SHOW::