OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 8/6/2016

[Chanel #99]

OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-
BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD 

RENEE
Ladies and gentlemen welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Renee Young, and I've had the restraining order lifted off Da Coach so he was with me, and we're bringing the heat tonight! The Challenge rolls on and it starts right now!  
 

A video package aired highlighting matches from The Challenge which aired earlier this week on OAOAST SYN. 

Simon Singleton d. Sumeragi 
Logan Mann d. Bi-Curious George 
THE FLEX d. Tony T
Big Papa Thrust and Mr. Dick fought to a DRAW
Deuce d. Baron Windels
Blaine Cayley d. Lucius Soul

CURRENT STANDINGS

Blaine 6-2
Deuce 6-2
BPT 5-2-1
Logan 5-2-1
Mr. Dick 5-2-1
BW 5-3
Lucius 4-3-1
Simon 4-4
Bi-Curious George 2-6
THE FLEX 2-6
Sumeragi 1-7
Tony T 0-8

*** The Challenge: THE FLEX (2-6) w/ Lorelei DeCenzo vs. Deuce Deuce Bigelow (6-2) ***

Coming into tonight tied atop the standings, Deuce control his own fate as we approach the final two weeks of the tournament. THE FLEX, however, does not. His fate sealed long ago. A recent win over Tony Tourettes doing little to quell the anger over losing his claim on the MITB briefcase.

COACH
Poor Flex. Homeboy wins Money in the Bank at AngleMania but is forced to put it on the line for The Challenge after Sophie took a joke by Lorelei literally! 

RENEE
All because Tyler Bryant declined The Challenge. 

Looking to vent his frustration, Flex took it right to Deuce in a HOSS FIGHT~! that ended with both men being counted out. 

Official decision: Double count out.

[Chanel #99]

DELTA DELTA DELTA HOUSE
LIVING ROOM

Its a house meeting, minus Madame President, so Madame Vice President has happily taken over. Sitting in on the meeting as well is Gory Dragan.

CASSIDY
Okay, you incompetent heifers, I need to know it's physically possible for Wanda The Zombie to have survived 15 minutes in a cryochamber set to negative 200 degrees below zero. Gory Dragan, go.

GORY
I have it! I heard about these Buddhist Monks that found a way to meditate, so they can sit outside all night, way, way up in the Himalayas in weather that would kill a normal person, but their core temperature stays one hundred percent normal. 

CASSIDY
So, you think Wanda studied meditation with Buddhist monks in the Himalayas? 

GORY
…..Maybe?

CASSIDY
Pierette, go.

PIERETTE
So, I saw this documentary once about this high schooler who could grow all this really thick hair all over his body, if he concentrated really, really hard on it. And maybe Wanda can do that, too. I mean, this kid was, like, amazing. Like, he won this high school basketball championship singlehanded... 

CASSIDY
You're thinking of the movie Teen Wolf, you brainless gash, which is not, in fact, a documentary!

Pierette sags in dismay. Her entire life has been a lie!

NUMBER TWO
Maybe Wanda is like Rasputin. 

CASSIDY
Like what?! 

NUMBER TWO
Uh, Rasputin. He was a mystical Russian peasant who became a close advisor of Tsar Nicholas II because he could magically cure Prince Alexei of his hemophilia.

CASSIDY
Okay, this seems totally not germane to what we're talking about, so can we please just skip ahead...?

NUMBER TWO
No! Listen! Rasputin gained more and more power with the Tsarina, so, a group of conspirators invited Rasputin to dinner so that they could give him a cup of poisoned wine. But when Rasputin drank the entire bottle of poisoned wine, it had no effect on him, except just making him burp a lot. So one of the plotters freaked out and took a pistol right in Rasputin's chest and shot him. But it did nothing, except just made him scream, along with the burping. So they shot him again-- nothing! And then, they shot him in the head. Still nothing! Rasputin wouldn't die. They decided to just take a club and start beating him until finally, Rasputin stopped moving. They cut off his genitalia, wrapped him in a rug and threw him into an icy river. Two days later, when they found the body floating downstream, Rasputin's nails were gone! He tried clawing himself out of the ice. In the end, he drowned. Maybe she has some magical powers that make her unable to die, like some horror movie villain, like Michael Myers, or Jason, or Dr. Giggles.

CASSIDY
Hold on. I just thought of something. I was gonna wait to give you guys these to celebrate another successful meeting without Gretchen. But now I have another idea. They're brand-new smartphones.

Cassidy reaches into her purse and dispenses a wave of smartphones to the group.

CASSIDY
And keep them on you at all times. 

GORY
I like the phone I already have. 

CASSIDY
These phones are better! Trust me! I already activated each phone, so when I call you, the edge will silently flash a color. In this case, red. Now, when you see the edge go red, don't even pick up. Just quietly head down to the pool. I'll lure Wanda there by asking her to meet me alone, and then, right before she can murder me, we'll drown the bitch, just like Rasputin. Got it? Good.

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

I was reminiscing just the other day,

While having coffee all alone and Lord, it took me away.

Back to a first-glance feeling on New York time.

Back when you fit in my poems like a perfect rhyme.

Took off faster than a green light, go,

Hey, skip the conversation when you already know.

I left a note on the door with a joke we’d made,

And that was the first day.

 

And darling, it was good never looking down.

And right there where we stood was holy ground.

With “Holy Ground” by Taylor Swift thumping out the entrance stage is lined with drummers beating out the beat and yo-yoing to the ceiling! In the middle of all this Cinnamon Spoons and ChubChub, who prevents Cinnamon from being able to drum herself because he eats her drum sticks!

BUFFER
The following match is scheduled for one fall! Now making her way to the ring, being accompanied by CHUBCHUB from Lovelock, Nevada, she is “THE SPICE OF LIFE” CINNAMON SPOOONNNSSS!

“YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

RENEE
The life of Teddy Buckworth is in turmoil but Cinnamon is hoping she can help him out by defeating Caeldori Fox tonight on HeldDOWN~!

Cinnamon slides into the ring, then pops up full of exuberance and love for her many adoring fans!

They will not control us
We will be victorious
BZZZZT BZZZZT BBBRRRRRRRP!

Paranoia is in bloom,
The PR transmissions will resume
They'll try to push drugs that keep us all dumbed down
And hope that we will never see the truth around
COME ON!

Another promise, another seed
Another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed
And all the green belts wrapped around our minds
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined

COME ON!

Car Show by Das Sound Machine thumps, trickles and rocks into the arena as white lights roll across the entrance stage. The doors spread apart and out comes a towel clad Caeldori Fox. The beauty is all too happy to sexily peel it down, and whisk it away to show off her killer bod!

COACH
OH YEAH~!

BUFFER
And her opponent, she hails from Miami, Florida, she is THE FULL METAL BITCH....CAELDORI FOXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!

COACH
I don't know if Caeldori should have rejected membership to The Menagerie. You need all the friends you can get in the OAOAST.

On the way to the ring, Caeldori was given a microphone and sought to address Cinnamon.

CAELDORI
I feel one hundred percent perfect today. No enemy can stand against me. Victory would be assured!

RENEE
Would be?

CAELDORI
But we're not having our scheduled match. I've been waiting for a full week for this to happen, for my sickeningly sexy tag team partner to go Vaeldomort on you!

COACH
Yo, what's this chick talking about?

The lights start flickering and confusion fills the air. Wondering eyes watch a busty figure slide into the ring behind a defensively crouched Cinnamon.

RENEE
Cinnamon, look out!

Cinnamon turns through flashing lights and sees this grinning face of RUBY! The Valkyrie takes a swing at the TMW starlet, only for Ruby to cast a curse and cause Cinnamon to hit herself in the face instead!

“OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!”

As the lights return to normal, Caeldori slides into the ring and captures hold of an ailing Cinnamon. With Ruby chuckling at all this, Miss Fox delivers a teardrop brainbuster to poor Cinnamon!

“BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

RENEE
Say My Name!

COACH
Caeldori Fox!

The duo would just love to do more damage to Cinnamon, but ANNAGRET WICKEDBORN and her sword of Surt slide into the ring and the heels have enough sense between them to make their retreat. Still Annagret directs her sword to them, promising punishment for their crimes.

RENEE
So Caledori Fox laid out another trap, and fresh from TMW its Ruby, and she is sickeningly sexy!

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

We're in the state of the art interview lounge where Josh Matthews is stood beside Coco Chanel, wearing a blue three piece suit.

MATTHEWS
Coco Chanel, your thoughts heading into the Elimination Chamber at AngleSlam.

COCO
A life without purpose isn't worth living, is it?

MATTHEWS
Food for thought.

COCO
Truth to accept. I have my purpose, though. Northstar and Ser Alearys Chance find themselves trapped in a massive cage with myself, Conan Coco Chanel. They may be in the Kingdom but people like me are the ones with true power.

MATTHEWS
You are?

COCO
I am the .5 percent that controls the world. My family may have had their struggles lately, Teddy being stabbed with a sword, Tony being harassed by Tyler, myself being concussed by the Kingdom. But make no mistake, ultimate victory will be ours. Always. Ser Alearys Chance and Northstar will find this out at AngleSlam, so will everyone else.

[Chanel #99]

*** The Challenge: Sumeragi (1-7) vs. Mr. Dick (5-2-1) ***

Despite going to a draw in his last match, MD continued to control his own fate with a win over Sumeragi following The Jackhammer.

Winner: Mr. Dick, via pinfall.

RENEE
A win next week and Mr. Dick all but secures his spot in the finals at Angleslam.

COACH
'Cause his opponent on finale night is Tony T. But Dick's opponent next week...

RENEE
Former partner and rival Baron Windels!

[Chanel #99]

*** VICE w/ Joey The Rat vs. The Masked Mutants w/ Studderboxx***

Basically a public execution. VICE with the W after CPA's GIGATON PUNCH. 

Winners: VICE, via pinfall.

Post-match Joey (covered in 6-man gold) gloated about adding the OAOAST tag titles to their collection at ANGLESLAM.

Inside Teddy Buckworth's dressing room, the brand new vampire is draining the blood and the life out a janitor as Flynn Stevens and Coulter Doyle stand uncomfortably by.

BUCKWORTH
Flynn, Coulter, talk to me.

COULTER
Uh....

FLYNN
We have a problem.

COULTER
We stayed on Colin's trail all day like you said, trying to find out where you can hit him where it hurts. But he did the most mundane shit. Nothing cool like he used to.

BUCKWORTH
And you're telling me as his former lifelong friends you can think of no way to assail him?

FLYNN
He's a changed man since we knew him. Besides you can hit him hard as vampire possible in the ring at AngleSlam.

BUCKWORTH
And so I will, please make no mistake about that. And yet I prefer a continuous bombardment of hell, of misery, of soul crushing agony to hit our erstwhile running buddy. I will attack him now, I will attack him at AngleSlam and I will continue to attack him, until he begs me to plunge the stake through his heart.

Buckworth tosses a wad of cash at Flynn and Coulter.

BUCKWORTH
Your payment. Keep me abreast of any updates.

THE CHALLENGE AFTER PARTY!
Hosted by Josh Matthews with insight from Reject, Todd Cortez and Dan Black
Immediatley following HeldDOWN~! on the OAOAST Network

[Chanel #99]

***The Challenge: Lucius Soul (4-3-1) W/Melody Nerdly and Jade Rodez-Duncan Vs Baron Windels (5-3)***

MELODY
Whooaaaaaaaaa, its Baron! 

BARON
Melody we play PS4 together nearly every damn day, if not in the arena then online.

MELODY
But I haven't seen you in front of the fans! Thus I most acknowledge it. And I have. Carry on, simple humans. 

Both Lucius and Baron shrugged their shoulders and went to work. With high stakes in this match, each men went for home run swings with their finisher's early. Both men failed with escapes, and then went into a brawl. Baron was stronger, but Soul was quicker and wound up knocking Baron through the ropes. Baron barely made it back to the ring in time, and when he did Soul blasted him with a superkick. For a good while it seemed Baron would fall in defeat, but lo and behold The Gunslinger mounted a comeback and with a mighty Texas Tea lariat secured victory!

Winner: Baron Windels, via pinfall

RENEE
That went by fast and furious!

COACH
Baron went hard from bell to bell.

RENEE
Well, so did Lucius.

COACH
Fuck that nigger. And I said with -er on purpose.

[Chanel #99]

JESSE FREGUSON'S LAB
OAOAST PERFORMANCE CENTER
MALIBU, CA

Yes, the PC has an actual lab for Jesse which is outfitted with enough gadgetry to rival the most prestigious of institutions.  As of right now Jesse is looking over a brain scan with Gretchen Wright stood behind a dead, and brainless, zombie.

JESSE
Ah yes, yes, most interesting indeed!

GRETCHEN
Can you elaborate?

JESSE
Do you see this...for lack of a better word....stream running through the cerebral cortex?

GRETCHEN
Indeed I do. What of it?

JESSE
Its a, how can I put this, a communication device. Magical communication device that is, I suppose. The wonders of the universe never cease to amaze! Do they?

GRETCHEN
I fear I do not understand. A communication device to what end?

Jesse gets up and looks over the body of the dead zombie, taking in deep breaths before turning with wild eyed excitement.

JESSE
This, dear Gretchen, is a telekinetic link to something, no someone! Or several someones!

GRETCHEN
A hive mind?

Jesse turns his eyes back to the brain scan and rubs his chin for a good while.

JESSE
No, that would be inaccurate I'd say. No, the link is one way. One way. So then someone is directing information to this zombie, perhaps all the zombies. Or maybe just this one. Who's to say? I only have this one.

GRETCHEN
It is a disagreeable surprise to think that there is a greater power at work. Though perhaps its not as shocking as we think.

JESSE
How so?

GRETCHEN
The zombies all seem to follow Clem Buzzlefoxxer's lead, the way that lout Ice Quiz follows my brother's lead. It could very well be that Clem Buzzlefoxer is driving the rest of his n'er do wells. If my brother were to fall, I believe Ice Quiz would foolishly impregnate a llama and raise the child happily. If Clem were to fall, can we not assume that the affect would be the end of his fellows? All the women with glorious posteriors would be saved!

JESSE
Only maybe, only maybe. Though Clem will have to be defeated. We can both say that for a certainty. But then why not let him have his fun? It could be a great experiment, to see how humanity faces zombies come off the screen and into their Dennys and AMC Theatres and public pools. A great experiment.      

GRETCHEN
You are the scientist. I am the warrior princess and president of Delta House, I will shred my parasol through every inch of Clem Buzzlefoxxer's frail body before I dare see Delta Delta Delta laid waste. Jesse, thank you for help.

Gretchen twirls her parasol and is off.

JESSE
Frail body....I have the thing for that. Absolutely.    

[Chanel #99]

***Krista Isadora Duncan W/Queen Esther Vs Damian Hill***

RENEE
Its rare to see Krista face someone not on the OAOAST roster, but Damian Hill is a Young Boy from SMUSH, doing a tour of the US.

Krista of course didn't care about any of that and slapped up Hill early and often. She did feel bad for beating a child, but referee Nunzio informed her Young Boy is just a title not a reference to his age. After that Krista gleefully beat down Hill and finished him off with Lightning on My Feet!

Winner: Krista Isadora Duncan

KRISTA
Honey, I'm sorry to have to ruin your career before it really starts, but when you're not fifty years old and suffering from chronic memory loss due to having eighty million concussions you'll thank me.

Krista stomps away at Hill to keep him down, then exits the ring to dive under the ring apron. When she comes out, she's comes with a toy world title belt, a bottle and an adult diaper!

QUEEN ESTHER
Just like the captain of my household guards wears!

KRISTA
I'm sure he wanted that revealed on camera.

Miss California slides into the ring and further beats on Hill to keep him thoroughly incapacitated. Thanks to this beating, she's able to shove the bottle in his mouth, tie the diaper around his waist and lay the toy world title belt on his shoulders!

QUEEN ESTHER
As dashing as Ser Steffon! And prone to the bottle as well!

RENEE
I don't think that's dashing. I think that's a mockery of Tyler Bryant! Krista's saying he's acting like a big baby.

Apparently Tyler got the message as the world champion appears on screen, red in the face and snarling.

TYLER
Krista!

KRISTA
Come here and point to where Flex touched you.

TYLER
Damn it! Damn it! Who am I? Who am I?

KRISTA
A victim of date rape as we established last week. 

TYLER
I am The Serial Thriller! The world champion! The future of this business, of this very world! I am someone that's better than anyone who's ever came before me. Better than you, better than Malibu, better than Alix, better than Dan Black, and damn sure better than Tony Brannigan.  What I am not, what I am for sure not  is I am not a big baby.

KRISTA
Big baby or big pussy. Choose one, bitch.

TYLER
Argh! You want to see me in Three Stages of Hell? That's what you want? Then that's where you'll see me at AngleSlam!

“YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

TYLER
It will be more than hell for you, though, Krista. It will be a god damn nightmare! 

Krista isn't intimidated in the least and rather grins at finally getting what she's sought for so long. In fact she holds up the toy world title and parades it about the ring, then starts sipping on the bottle??!!!

KRISTA
Fun fact, I put gin in this!

THE HOTTEST EVENT OF THE SUMMER RETURNS

MONDAY NIGHT, AUGUST 29

[Chanel #99]

MAGUIRE FAMILY RESIDENCE
POOL NIGHT

The pool area houses Cassidy Maguire, dressed in a sexy suit and sipping on a fruity drink as she pounds away at her phone.

CASSIDY
Come on, what is wrong with these idiots?! This has something to do with Number Two's creepy graveyard fetish. They're having an orgy without me. Stupid braindead skanks.

WANDA (OS)
Hellllloooooo, Casssssidddddy

CASSIDY
(gasping)
Oh. Hi!

WANDA
Whhyyyy didddddd yoouuuuu assskkkk meeeee to meeetttt you hereeeeee?

CASSIDY
You see....

WANDA
Whhhatattt thhhatttt baggggg nexttttt toooo yoooou?

CASSIDY
Um... bondage. Bondage? Yeah, I-I thought for this week's Campus Feminist Collective, we could talk about the rise of S&M in contemporary literature. I thought you might have a few words to say on it.

WANDA
Whererrreeeee issssss evevvverrrryyyboooddddy?

CASSIDY
Actually, I don't know.

WANDA
Iiii juustttt killllll yoooouuuuuu!

Wanda dives forward as fast as a zombie can and tackles Cassidy into the pool! Ker-splash!

CASSIDY
No!

Snapping at Cassidy, Wanda tries to sink her teeth into her flesh as bursts of water jump from around them! Cassidy fights with fury and fear and kicking and clawing at Wanda! But Wanda stays firm in her attack and pushes Cassidy bellow the water! It seems like Cassidy might drown until she pulls herself up and gouges Wanda's one good eye! 

WANDA
AHHHHHHHHH!

As Wanda recoils in agony and horror, Cassidy hurries out the pool and makes a frantic dash to the safety of her sorority house! 
 

[Chanel #99]

*** The Challenge: Bi-Curious George (2-6) vs. Big Papa Thrust (5-2-1) w/ The Freakazoids ***

Fond of muscle men and beautiful women, George was like a kid in a candy store being in the same ring as BPT and the Freakazoids. BPT took noticed and struck a double bicep pose, asking George...

BIG PAPA THRUST
You wanna feel the largest arms in the galaxy?

George's eyes lit up and then he got clotheslined!

RENEE
Hey! Come on!

COACH
What? George got to feel the largest arms in the galaxy! 

Still in control of his own fate BPT was extra motivated knowing a win puts him in the top 2. Taking into account George's flamboyance BPT figured this one would an easy match, only to find himself in a heck of a battle. In the end BPT did emerge victorious after BCG passed out with a smile on his face in the Lay-Z-Boy.

Winner: Big Papa Thrust, via submission.

COACH
I think George jizzed himself!

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

***The Challenge: Blaine Cayley (6-2) W/ Vs Tony Tourettes (0-8) W/Papa Duncan***

PAPA DUNCAN
This guy is even worse to piss off than the last guy you pissed of, Tone. This guy right here is the most dangerous man in the OAOAST. So just keep it zipped, will ya?

TONY
Nope. I gotta speak my peace, Papa D.  Blaine and I are two lions from different dens and its time the world knows what we're about. We're both are stupid rich, and if I had a sister, I'd fuck her on sight! I bet she'd look like Alix! 

BLAINE
Are you drunk or just merely stupid?

TONY
A little bit of both.

The match went poorly for Tony, in fact it was almost his worse outting yet. So bad was Tony's performance, Blaine actually felt bad for ripping through him and defeating him with Cruel Intentions after a minute of work.

Winner: Blaine Cayley, via pinfall

SAMMI
Why do you look so down?

BLAINE
This poor sot traded antique porn for the right to go on an endless loosing streak. He can't be proud of that choice.

RENEE
Wow. I think even Pete could have won ONE match by now.

[Chanel #99]

COACH
Yo, it goes down at the house show!

RENEE
Sure does! Here's a clip from a show in Baton Rouge that gets pretty wild.

 

Quote

Outlaw Cello has just defeated Tim Cash to defend his 24/7 title, when he's attacked by TurboWolf! The fans are delighted with what they see as TW begins railing on Cello. The brawl spills outside where the werewolf throws his rival into the guradrail and makes him groan in agony. He then pins him to try and win the 24/7 title but Cello kicks out. More than that, Cello hits a low blow on Turbo then makes a desperate dash backstage! It took a moment for TW to recover, but when he did he ran after his foe

 

RENEE
So TurboWolf almost caught Cello is what we hear, but Cello jumped onto a city bus and used that as his get away!

COACH
That dude didn't want a damn thing to do with TurboWolf!
 

***Logan Mann W/Holly (5-2-1) Vs Simon Singleton (4-4) W/Molly Nerdly***
Logan strutted to the ring in his 300 dollar grey sweat shirt, a black dad hat, and jeans lined with rhinestones, cocky as ever and promising a future world title around his waist.

RENEE
Logan and Simon renew hostilities again. So we're gonna see if Logan learned anything from losing to Simon in the US Title Tournament.

To start the match Simon wanted a greco roman lock but Logan threw a punch. A punch that was ducked as Simon swung behind him and took the back. Agent 009 tried to push Logan to the ground, but Leezus Price wasn't having that and tossed elbows Simon's way. The Anaheim native used one of those elbows to drag Logan down with a held arm drag, then floated into a cross arm breaker. Luckily for Logan he was at the ropes.

MOLLY
Well done so far.

HOLLY
(mockingly)
Well done so far. Well done so far.

MOLLY
Why look Holly has been reduced to the insults of a five year old. Or Melody.

Logan hurried to his feet and was made to endure a headlock sequence, failing to get a headlock of his own as Simon constantly slipped out. Leezus Price was able to muscle Simon to the mat and put him in a ground head scissors, but Simon did a head stand and locked Logan's head again.

HOLLY
(beep)ing shit, Logan! You're not my bitch, your his bitch!

That motivated Logan who fought out the headlock, and then made Simon eat a hip toss. After that Logan stomped Simon in the chest over and over again, before taking to the air with a leaping elbow drop. That only got a one count, but Logan's confidence was boosted. So comfortable was he in fact Logan went for the Liberation DDT, yet got turned into a northern lights for a close two.

RENEE
I know he wants to win baaaad, but he's letting his record cloud his judgement.

COACH
Gotta swing for the fences, babygirl. Imagine if he had hit Liberation, he'd be right up top.

Simon tripped up Logan, then top rolled him to his feet, before muscling him over with a underhook suplex. Logan rolled into the corner and managed to get his boot up then made Simon take a WICKED LEFT HOOK~!

“OOOOOHHHHHHHH!”

RENEE
So Wicked it belongs on Broadway! Hehehhe!

LOGAN
I ain't Logan Mann tho?!

“BBBBBBOOOOOOOO!”

Simon got to his feet and ducked a lariat, but Logan quickly hit a side Russian leg sweep, then dropped a running leg on his foe!

LOGAN
I ain't Leezus Price tho?!

“BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!”

Leezus ground Simon down with a reverse chinlock, and the crowd and Molly sought to rally the superstar face. The Anaheim native used his strength to catch Logan's arm and twist him into an armbar, and continued to hold it until Logan made the ropes.

COACH
Logan got cocky and he almost got got. 

Irritated Logan ran himself into getting the Living Daylights kicked out of him! From there Simon went up top and dropped Skyfall with a leg drop that popped the crowd but only got a two count.

COACH
There's still tricks up Logan's sleeves.

RENEE
Yeah, like getting his wife sprayed with gross mist. That's grounds for appearing on Divorce Court!

Logan rolled onto the ring apron and blocked Simon's charge, then reentered the ring to beat on his foe. Simon fought back but Logan won out with a tilt a whirl shin breaker.

RENEE
Got a question?  Logan Has the Answers! 

Logan went to the corner and tried to show off with a headstand body splash, but wound up landing on Simon's knees. He still got up and tried a neckbreaker, but Simon sucked him into a backslide for two. Back on their feet, Logan hit Simon with an elbow to the face and tried again for the Liberation. Simon countered with another arm bar, this one rolled through by Logan....but not rolled through enough as Simon kept on a half nelson and proceeded to slam him to the mat!

“YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

RENEE
License to Kill! 

And that secured the win for Agent 009!

Winner: Simon Singleton, via pinfall.

OFFICIAL STANDINGS

Blaine 7-2
BPT 6-2-1
Mr. Dick 6-2-1
Deuce 6-3
Logan 5-3-1
BW 6-3
Simon 5-4
Lucius 4-4-1
Bi-Curious George 2-7
THE FLEX 2-7
Sumeragi 1-8
Tony T 0-9

FADE OUT