OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 5/6/04

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

“Trust me” by Lucy Woodward plays as we SEE THE LOGO~



(The opening video DOES NOT play! Instead we’re treated to clips of Zack’s shocking heel turn that took place last week.)

(We go to the arena where the camera pans the crowd, who are waving their hands in the air as if there were no repercussions for their actions. Finally we settle on E’merica’s favorite announce squad TRIPLE C. Oh yeah some, pyro explodes and some stupid shit happens. And a chick shows her boobs. That was cool.)

COLE
What a night we have in store for you tonight here on HeldDOWN~!, ladies and gentlemen. After last week, we...

Michael Cole's hype for this evenings card is quickly cut off by the lights in the arena shutting down, leaving the hyperactive crowd cloaked in darkness.

CABOOSE
Yep, this is a great way to kick off a show, with a power outage.

The ensuing harmony that fills the air shows Caboose and anyone else that thought that to be the case are wrong, as the song "Bring Me To Life" begins to play, drawing major boos for the first time ever.

CABOOSE
Go ahead, Cole, you were saying...

COLE
...after last week, we've all been waiting to hear from this man, and it looks like we're not going to have to wait very long, now does it?

Once the chorus hits, so does the PYRO~!, as it explodes across the stage, sending sparkles flying and a heatwave across the rows of fans close in proximity. Through it all walks the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, who comes out to the stage and pauses, almost basking in the fact that he's being soundly booed. Clad in blue jeans and a black button down shirt, Zack Malibu turns to look behind him, and motions for Candie to follow him. She comes out as well, but doesn't look as cocky as her boyfriend does this evening.
COACH
Man, I thought Zack was my dog, but after last week...hell man, I should kick his ass myself!

CABOOSE
Go try. Please. I beg of you.

Malibu strolls down the aisle, with Candie lagging a bit behind. He turns to her and motions for her to speed it up, but then stops and looks up at the entranceway, waving his hand for someone to come on down.

COLE
Let me take a wild guess as to who he's calling...

CABOOSE
It'll be an ambulance, for you, if you don't shut up, Cole.

Cole's guess is probably the correct one, as Zack's waving brings out Calvin Szechstein, drawing even more boos from the already unhappy crowd. Zack and Candie stay put in the aisle, waiting for Calvin to catch up to them, before heading down to ringside all together.

CABOOSE
Look at this Triple Threat of Talent right there! I love it!

COACH
You hate Zack Malibu, 'boose.

CABOOSE
No, I hate phony baloney baby kissing fan-suckers. I don't see any of that going on these days, which grants Zack my utmost respect.

Malibu gets up on the apron, and sits on the middle rope, lifting up the top one and allowing Candie to enter. She does, but the expression on her face signals that she might want to be somewhere else. Calvin takes advantage of Zack holding open the ropes and enters as well, trading quips with his newfound ally as Malibu finally enters the ring himself. Zack walks over to the corner, and waves Michael Buffer over to the ring apron, ordering him to bring him the microphone. Buffer obliges, and Zack swipes it away without so much as a thank you.

COLE
This should be good.

COACH
You were being sarcastic, right Mikey?

The music has ended, but the catcalls of the fans have not, as the boos are deafening. Amidst the jeers, a chant starts off small, but then rolls through the crowd, growing and growing before the majority of the people in the building are screaming "ASSHOLE" at the top of their lungs. Zack just shakes his head and laughs, and pulls the microphone to his lips.

MALIBU
So...let me guess...you people want answers, right?

(Crowd cheers)

MALIBU
You people have had the burning desire to figure out exactly what happened last week, aren't you? It's the question that's on everyone's mind...you all want...hell, I bet you all feel the NEED to know...just WHO moved that forklift, don't you?

The crowd boos.

CABOOSE
What's their problem? I was wondering the same thing!

COLE
That's the least of my concerns.

MALIBU
Waitaminute...stop it, just stop the booing. You mean you didn't want to know that? Funny, because...ooooooh, OK, I get it. You're questioning my decisions as of late, right? You want to know why the glory boy, the pride and joy of the OAOAST, did what he did last week, right? You're questioning the character of the World Champion, am I correct?

(Crowd cheers).

MALIBU
Well, quite simply people, it has finally gotten to me. I've surpassed the boiling point. Quite frankly, I think you should look around you, look at each other's face, and start booing each other, because it is each and every one of you that is responsible for what I did to Crystal!

(MAJOR heat for that one, as Calvin Szechstein nods his head in the background).

MALIBU
The truth hurts, doesn't it? I bet you're all saying "No, it's not our fault!", but it is. Let's go back in time, shall we? Let's go back to all the politics, all the games being played behind closed doors that eventually found their way into public view. Let's talk about all the OAOAST Corporate drama, all the locker room heat, all the hatred. Every time Anglesault had a hissy fit, or Stephen Joseph had the revelations where he saw himself as a God, who did they look to? When CWM brought in The Underground to take over and show the world his view of how this company should be run, who did they target first? Who had to save the day? Who had to stop the Hollywood wheelers and dealers from turning HeldDOWN~! into a glorified studio backlot? It was ME, people. You all wanted...hell, forget that, you NEEDED me at those points. You NEEDED me in order to keep this company going, and you STILL need me to keep it going. You thought I was above all the politics and the games, well you were right. That hasn't changed. It's just that now I realize I can take full advantage of the fact that I stayed clear of all that hoopla. Hell, I knew what I was doing all along. Let corporate take each other out. Let the dissension and distrust fill the locker room. I have posed as the go-to guy for TWO YEARS. Two years, all the responsibility fell on my shoulder. Two years of blood, sweat and tears, and for what? Let's face it people, the system used me. The locker room, my "friends", used me, and each and every one of you ungrateful sons of bitches that are sitting in this arena and at home, have USED ME!

(By now, the asshole chant has started up again. Malibu takes a breath, and continues.)

MALIBU
So, now that I'm doing things the way I want to do them, now that I'm not conforming to your views of me, you want to turn on me? Each and every one of you would be doing the same thing. Isn't it convienient that every time I was bloodied and beaten, well, people just let that happen. Malibu's a fighter, they'd say. He can take care of it. Yet as soon as I return to the top of the mountain, everyone wants to be my friend. This is where you come in, Crystal. This is where you come in, Sly Sommers. See, we'll start wtih Sly. Everything he said about me? As a certain Olympic Hero would say, oh it's true. I taught him everything he knows and then some, but instead of doing things the way they should be, he wanted to cash in on my name. He wanted to use me for my notoriety. He didn't want to have to work the indies, driving state to state for $50 payoffs, no. He wanted Zack Malibu to be attatched to his resume. He wanted Zack Malibu's name to get him where he's at, and do you want to know how he got in here? It was because of ME! That's right Sly, the only reason you got in, the only reason you aren't working in a Blockbuster Video recommending "100 Girls" to every friggin' customer that walks through the door is because I let you in here. Damage control, you see. I didn't want you taking my name with you somewhere and using it to propel yourself up the ranks. I didn't want to be responsible for anything you did. I didn't want the association with you, and that is why you're here today. You wanted to air the dirty laundry? Well, let's face facts...I showed you that I'm better than you at the pay per view, and now you're getting the whole truth. I suppose the fact of the matter is that you picked the wrong guy to attempt to screw with, because you can't con a con artist.

COLE
Well I'll be damned. Mr. "I never play games" has been holding Sly back all along!

MALIBU
So yeah, Sly Sommers, whom I might add does NOT deserve the responses you've been giving him lately, is nothing more than your typical run of the mill wannabe young lion, trying to make his way in this crazy world. Reality check time, Sly, you're not going to make it, because you can't do it on your own. You still want your name attatched to me now, boy? Ain't gonna happen. And it's not going to be attatched to Totally Endorsed either, because they are history. Done. Poof...they're gone. Calvin will get to that later, but right now, Sommers, you're just one man trying to do something that ten couldn't do...you want to bring me down? Sorry, wrong number. Try again.

The fans are livid at these revelations, as this "holier than thou" persona of Zack has rubbed them all the wrong way.

MALIBU
Now, since Sly is old news anyhow, we move onto the current OAOAST 24/7 Champion, you're friend and mine, Crystal!

(HUGE pop for the mention of the Female Phenom's name.)

MALIBU
Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy. It did'nt have to be this way. You could have just settled for the belt you've already got. You could have settled for being able to hang with the fellas. Hell, you could have settled for being this pervo's (points to Coach) wet dream, but no. You had to get greedy. People want to talk about MY attitude...it's about YOUR ego now, Crystal. Suuuure, as soon as I get the belt you think I'm ready to offer it up to you? What have you done to earn another title shot? What did you do, survive a feud with Damaramadingdong? Ooooh, big whoop. Won the 24/7 Title? Been there, done that. The truth is, much like Sly Sommers, you are just another person who is trying to get by on my name. You sucked up to me, but where were you when I needed you? Where were you when The Underground came here? Where were you when I had B-rate actors and wrestlers getting in the faces of myself and my girl? It all changed after Anglemania though, didn't it? You wanted to be my friend. Honey, let's face it...the one thing you could offer me is the one thing I don't need since I have a beautiful girl already. One that you can't compete with, and...

(As Zack goes to put an arm around Candie, she knocks it away, stunning Zack.)

CANDIE
You know what...I can't do this.

MALIBU
What did you just say?

CANDIE
I said I can't do this, Zack. This isn't right. This isn't you. I KNOW it's not you.

MALIBU
Then you don't know me very well, do you?

(The crowd is abuzz now, as Malibu and his girlfriend are eye to eye, arguing over his recent attitude adjustment.)

CANDIE
Zack, I love you, I honestly do. But I do not love what you've become. I think that title has made you lose track of what you should really be doing. I think it's made you lose track of what people should mean to you. You're not the same person I fell in love with, Zack.

MALIBU
Wait a sec...are you dumping me?

CANDIE
No...not at all, I...I just wish that...

MALIBU
Let me get this straight...you're questioning my decisions? Do you not trust that I'm doing what I feel is best for us?

CANDIE
No...yeah...Zack look now is...

Malibu inches towards Candie, so that he's looking down on her. She backsteps, but he follows.

MALIBU
You are just as ungrateful as these people then.

(HUGE HEAT from the crowd.)

CANDIE
Zack, listen I...

MALIBU
No, YOU listen, OK? You want to question what I do? Why, Candie, do you have some input as to how I should direct my career. Why don't you do what you were made for, just stand here and look pretty, OK?

*SLAP*

The crowd ROARS, as Candie lets Zack have it across the face, leaving a red handprint on his cheek. Malibu turns his head upon impact, snickers...THEN TURNS AND SHOVES CANDIE DOWN! Calvin quickly jumps in the middle of this and holds Zack back, as Candie is shocked, and begins to cry. She quickly gets up, and storms over to Zack, brushing right by Cal.

CANDIE
That's it, Zack, I've had it. I love you, and I can forgive you for things, but this is the last time. You've got a week to think about what I mean to you, what that belt should mean to you, and what these people mean to you. Because quite frankly, I think I speak for everyone when I say you need to reconsider what you're doing, because after this, there is no going back!

MALIBUWas that a threat? Here, let me get the ropes for you...and get the hell out of my ring.

Malibu moves over to the ropes and sits down, again holding the ropes for Candie, this time for her exit! Candie wipes the tears away and slowly exits, stopping to look Zack in the eye as she leaves, but he merely smirks back.

COLE
What a cold hearted bastard. He just kicked Candie to the curb!

CABOOSE
Cole, for me to say "I'm loving it" would be an understatement.

COACH
It would also get you sued by McDonald's!

Back in the ring, Zack continues...

MALIBU
Well, now that that's over and done with. (turns to the aisle) Bye bye, Candie, I'll see you at home later on, right? Hehe, anyways, I feel I've gone on for long enough, we've pretty much covered all the...oh wait, I know what we're forgetting! (slaps forehead in sarcastic manner). You people want to wonder exactly why we're standing side by side wtihout killing each other, don't you?

(Many fans nod "yes" or shout it out loud, as Zack and Calvin mumble to each other.)

MALIBU
Let's sum it up as best way we can. What you see here, is a marriage of convienience. Bottom line, we all know everyone's main goal is this belt, and as a former champion I know that sooner or later, Calvin's gonna get that itch for it. Right now, however, we've decided to pool our resources, because after Anglemania we got to thinking. I was determined not to be anyone's stepping stone, and Calvin didn't want to lose focus of his career. So after Anglemania, he called me up, and after cursing me out for beating him, actually came clean and said for as much as he hates me, he respects me. I replied that I felt the same way. That one phone call, that one comment that he made, got my motor running. I figured that the elite should only hang out with the elite. This man, I'll give him credit, has kicked my ass on many a night. We've had our wars, but when you look at us together, there is nothing...not a tag team, not a union, not a corporation, that can hold us back. OAOAST Corporate are falling apart at the seams wondering how they can deal with us. We've got the mainstream appeal, the right connections, the money, hell, forget Lex Luger, because we're the Total Package, baby! Call it a hostile takeover if you want, but I think we can all agree that no matter what fancy title you pin on it, this company isn't going to be the same with us running the show, right Cal?

Malibu passes the mic onto his new friend, and former rival.

CALVINSee that, folks? Simple, yet effective. I bet you expected some long, drawn out, Days of Our Lives explanation that Zack and I found out we were really brothers and have decided to make up for the sake of our sick mom or something, right? Well if you want a soap opera, you're on the wrong station. All it comes down to are three things: talent, gold, and the almighty dollar. What you're looking at is an elite force, and the genesis has begun. Say goodbye to the Zack Malibu you knew. Say goodbye to Totally Endorsed and the "comical" Calvin Szechstein. Our time has come, our time is now, and...

Calvin is interrupted by the sight of a familiar face coming down the aisle. Into the ring slides Colvid, the protege of Calvin Szechstein.

CALVIN
Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?

COLVID
Cal, Zack, you guys have no idea how happy this makes me. Have you seen what Sommers has been putting me through? Quite frankly, I think the kid's gone soft, and we need to take care of him ASAP. Whatever you guys want to do is cool with me, I just...

CALVIN
Colvid? Were you not paying attention?

COLVID
To you? Sure, boss, then...

CALVIN
Then you'd know that no more Totally Endorsed...means no more you.

COLVID
Bu...

Colvid can't even finish, as Malibu clocks him from the side with a forearm shot, knocking him down! Both Malibu and Calvin start stomping on the video-obsessed superstar, before Calvin pulls him up to his feet, allowing Zack to crack him with School's Out! As soon as he hits the canvas, Calvin picks up Colvid and tosses him out to the floor, watching him hit with a sickening crash.

CALVIN
You see people, this is what we mean. Do you actually think that glorified errand boy was going to ride on my coattails any longer? Zack and I are out to trim the fat. Everyone and anyone is expendable, so to anyone listening in the back, I say...

Again, Calvin gets cut off, as the fans pop HUGE for Sly Sommers, who runs down the aisle and right into the ring, tackling Calvin down! Before Malibu can even react, the fans pop again, as CRYSTAL rushes the ring, and does the same to him!
COLE
We've got a melee going on in the ring!

Sly pulls Calvin up and has him in the corner, raining closed fists down on his temple, while Crystal pulls Zack up and sends him into the ropes, only to have Zack put on the brakes and duck out of the ring! Sly pulls Calvin out of the corner, but Zack quickly reaches in and pulls his partner down and slides him out, saving him from an assault from Sommers!

CABOOSE
You know, we finally had a twenty minute promo that was NEEDED, and these two had to ruin it for me!

Sly and Crystal just look at each other, questioning what the other one was doing out there, and with this distraction Malibu and Cal go to sneak back in...but they're caught! The two heels duck back out of the ring, as "Set It Off" begins to play over the roar of the crowd. Sommers and Crystal stare down their foes, Calvin eyeing his old boss and Crystal eyeing her former friend, before the cameras cut to a commercial break.

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

Woke Up This Morning
Got Yourself A Gun
Mama Always Said You’d Be
The Chosen One

*Drek Stone walks out of the entranceway to a loud series of boos. Standing at the top of the ramp, he casually adjusts his Armani gray blazer, then saunters down to ringside. Drek walks over to the timekeeper’s table, yanks the microphone out of the announcer’s hand, and folds up the steel chair that the announcer was getting ready to sit on. He slides the chair into the ring and, after walking into the ring himself, sets the chair up in the middle. After a few seconds of staring at the fans with a cocky smirk, he sits down and begins to talk*

DREK
You know…..you people ought to really be ashamed of yourselves.

*Once again, the fans start to boo Drek. He lifts his hand up and starts to motion for the fans to quiet down, which only makes them boo louder.*

DREK
I hope you know this isn’t helping matters.
*The chant of “Drek Stone Sucks” slowly begins to boom from the crowd.*

DREK
THIS…..is the kind of garbage I’m talking about. The trash that you people chant at me. So far, since arriving here, I’ve done nothing but treat you people good. Night after night, I’ve brought such fine quality to the shows around here. My words – nothing less than inspirational. My matches – absolute works of art. And what do you do to show your appreciation? HUH?! What do you do? Roll the tape.

*The AngleTron shows us a flashback to last week when, in the middle of The Mad Cappa’s interview, Drek comes out to a rowdy negative response.

The scene then cuts to Drek looking at the people in the audience, as they start to loudly scream “Asshole” at him.

Finally, another scene is shown where Drek punts a balloon into the crowd, and the fans start to loudly chant both “Drek Stone Sucks!” and “CAPPA! CAPPA!”*

CABOOSE
That was a pure and absolute travesty. Drek has a right to be angry after the reaction he got last week. SHAME on all of these people.

DREK
What the hell was that about? After the sacrifices I’ve made to correct the OAOAST S.S. Titanic, that’s the reaction I get? THAT’S what you think of me? You people don’t deserve me. Damnit, I should get up and leave this ring right now.

*The fans start to cheer as Drek rises up out of the seat. However, he quickly sits back down.*

DREK
Oh…..but I won’t. That would be the coward’s way out. Why, THAT…..would be the Cappa way out. And who am I? I’m Drek Stone. I don’t take the Cappa way out. I’m not like you people…….I’m successful. And when I make a promise to do something, I actually go through with it. And you people actually know it too. Remember when I promised to dismember Damaramu at Living Anglelously? Didn’t I come through with that vow?

*The fans start to quickly scream “NO! NO!”, which only makes Drek grin to himself*

DREK
How quickly you people forget what I’ve done for you. Gentlemen, once again….roll the clip.

*This time, images of the Drek/Dama match at Living Anglelously are shown. However, the clips have been spliced together to make it look like Drek was on the advantage the entire time. He’s shown punching Dama in the face……bringing him down with a chop-block…….hitting Dama with the StoneCutter……connecting with a beautiful moonsault from the top rope……finally, the clips stop when Drek slaps the corner figure-four on Damaramu. The camera zooms in onto Dama’s face, an emotion of pain evident on his face. However, Dama’s face has been technologically altered. He now has a large quantity of blood streaming down his face, although it’s easy to tell that the image has been manipulated.*

DREK
There you go. Will you people look at THAT!! Is it slowly starting to come back to you now? Are you starting to remember? I physically manhandled Damaramu in the match. Tore apart his knee. Nearly broke his neck with that vicious StoneCutter. And the blood, my god, the blood that was streaming down his face. Tremendous! Look at his expression right there! Look at it! Can you people see how he’s screaming for mercy?! Do you now remember what actually happened?

CABOOSE
How could anyone FORGET the vicious beating he gave Dama? I’m worried for these people if their memories are that faulty.

COLE
Oh please, Caboose. You know as well as I do that those shots were clipped. And the blood is completely fake!

CABOOSE
It’s just like you to be a ripper of Drek’s accomplishments. You are such an ITALIAN-IST!

COLE
An Italian-ist?! There’s no such thing.

COACH
I’m gonna have to agree with Boose over here, Cole. You’re a rabid Italian-ist.

COLE
What?!

DREK
So, like I said, I obviously accomplished Mission #1. Now, as for the next one I set…..it’s something that can benefit us all. Yes, you people will truly begin to see the error of your ways when I wrest that Puerto Rican Championship out of the Mad Cappa’s untalented hands.

*The fans start to boo once again*

DREK
You might boo now, but I’m sure you’ll thank me later on. And, as the natural #1 contender, I feel this is the best time to announce….

*Suddenly, the image of Dama’s “bloody” face that had been on the AngleTron starts to shake until it’s finally wiped off the screen. Replacing that image is a close-up of OAOAST Director of Authority Abe Vigoda.*

COACH
AHHhhh! What the hell was that?!

COLE
Why, that’s our ever-respectable DOA, Mr. Vigoda.

CABOOSE
Oh god, we really didn’t need that closeup. I think I saw a family of boils growing on one of his liverspots.

ABE
I am really quite shocked, Mr. Stone. Shocked, indeed. You are the LAST person I ever expected to come out here and act cocky.

DREK
What? Who are you to call me….

ABE
And by cocky, I do mean conceited…..arrogant…..terms of that nature. I don’t actually mean cocky, as in the brown pieces of fecal matter that….

DREK
ABE!!! I know!! I got that. Listen, I’m actually glad you interrupted my thrilling promo for a second. I was a little tired of shouldering this show on my well-toned back muscles. What I need you to do is write up a little contract. Right now. Pitting myself against The Mad Cappa……the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title on the line……at School’s Out!

*Most of the fans start to cheer at the suggested matchup, but some of them continue to yell “Asshole!” at Drek*

ABE
Hmmm…..that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all……

DREK
So, feel free to make the match. Making yourself useful can actually be quite fun.

ABE
Oh, I imagine it could. And I WOULD write the contract up…..IF you were the #1 Contender.

DREK
…..if I was the #1 contender?! IF?! Listen….ARRUSO……

ABEYes. If. Because there was someone else that I thought deserved a title shot considering the hell he’s gone through the past couple of weeks. But, you deserve an opportunity too. No doubt. So listen, tonight, you two can battle it out. The winner goes on to face The Mad Cappa at “School’s Out” for the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title. Sounds fair?

DREK
Of course not.

ABE
Good to hear. And, as for your opponent tonight……

*“Black” blasts over the loudspeakers. The fans EXPLODE as Hoff walks out of the entranceway with a microphone in his hand. Looking extremely determined tonight, there isn’t a hint of a smile on his face. However, before he can talk, Drek begins speaking once again*

DREK
Oh, man. I must be in some kind of serious trouble now. Some bad kind of trouble. This is terrible…..oh god…..The SUPERHERO is out to get me. Oh Christ, when should I start groveling for forgiveness? Dio mio, what a terrible fate is awaiting me. I’m going against a real-life superhero tonight.

COACH
What is Drek trying to do?! He’s basically signing his own death warrant!

COLE
We’ve seen what Hoff has been capable of in the past few weeks. Why does Drek want to anger him?

CABOOSE
You guys are so predictable. I’m SURE he knows what he’s doing…….

DREK
So come on. Which justice fighter are you like? Hoff, what savior of humanity do you aspire to be? Superman…..Batman……Spider-Man……Wonder Woman. Come on, HOFF. Come on…..CAPTAIN AMERICA!!

COACH
……I have a bad feeling about this.

DREK
Listen, cacchio, I know you went out and bought those spandex tights and everything, thinking that you’re now the redeemer of the world……but you never met me. Hoff, compared to myself, people like you are a joke. You called yourself a hero last week because you want to rid the OAOAST of all the nasty, evil baddies……Hoff, if ANYBODY can be considered a hero….it’s me. Saving this federation from further sinking into the toilet bowl of mediocrity, one step at a time. I MAKE a difference. What do you do? What have you done? What makes you the new GUARDIAN of the OAOAST?!

HOFF
…..the fact that I’m going to finally SPINEBUSTER your ass here, tonight!

*The fans once again begin to cheer, and break into a chant of “HOFF! HOFF!”*

HOFF
Come on, Drek. Go ahead. Laugh it up. Make fun of the fact that my new mission is to rid the federation from scumbags like yourself. Tell all the jokes you want……..but do it quickly. You really won’t have much more time.

CABOOSE
Oh, now he’s making threats, is he? Fire his ass!

COLE
Dammit, what are you talking about? Drek, dammit, tells his fair share of, dammit, threats.

HOFF
Last week, I made it a known fact to every single individual in the audience and in the back that I was serious about what I said. I will not rest…..I will not die…..until I get rid of the trash that litters these rings every week. And, according to Abe, tonight…..I’m going to start with the mafioso.

DREK
Wait….wait….WAIT……..don’t you dare! There’s no such thing as the Mafia!

HOFF
Oh, yeah? Interesting. Because there’s no such thing as a Drek Stone title shot either.

*The fans explode again with cheers*

DREK
You better watch….

HOFF
YOU better watch your mouth! Drek, tonight, I’m going to accomplish Stage 1. I’m going to take you out like I vowed to last week. Then, once I get the #1 Contendership…..I’m going to beat The Mad Cappa to capture the Puerto Rican Title. It’s only a matter of time. The dominoes are falling into place for the Hoff cleanup brigade. And congratulations…..you’re the first one on the list.

*Hoff drops the microphone and stomps towards the back, looking as determined as he did when he came out earlier. Meanwhile, Drek can’t help but continue to stare at the ramp. Finally, he picks up the chair that had been sitting in the middle of the ring, and he hurls it over the ropes, right near the timekeeper table. He starts walking to the back with a scowl on his face*
COLE
And very quickly, the Puerto Rican Title is becoming one of the more sought-after titles in the OAOAST.

CABOOSE
Oh, this is nonsense. That title shot was already Drek’s……after that gut-wrenching performance at Living Anglelously, he DESERVED it. And what does Hoff do? He tries to steal it from him!

COACH
Steal it?! Hoff deserves that title shot just as much. Besides, for him, this shizzinit tonight is about more than just a title. It’s about cleaning up the filth.

CABOOSE
Filth?! Are you implying something?!

COACH
Of course not.

CABOOSE
You’re an Italian-ist too, Coach. This is ridiculous. I’m surrounded by a bunch of racists.

COLE
Ladies and gentlemen….tonight, Hoff……Drek Stone……The #1 Contendership for the Puerto Rican Title is on the line!!

CABOOSE
And somebody tell me this. Since when do superheroes steal title shots….?

*COMMERCIAL*

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

(The cameraman arrives at Sharky’s Bar and we see J. Arthur Edwards sitting at a table filled with shot glasses and beer bottles. He is arm wrestling a burly woman and losing. At the bar Rick Edwards sips on a beer and laughs at J.A.E.’s misfortune. The bar suddenly goes quiet as AJ Flaire appears at the doorway.)

RICK
AJ! So glad you could make it. Take a seat.

*AJ hesitates, but finally sits down on the stool next to Rick.*

RICK
Here have a beer. *Hands him a beer*

AJ
Cut the crap. You didn’t invite me here to have a beer together. What’s your deal?

RICK
I invited you here to make you an offer.

AJ
What could you possibly offer me?

RICK
I can offer you a way out.
AJ
A way out of what?

RICK
A way out of the beating I’m gonna have to give you for that X-Title. We all know that your back is mush and the doctors are telling you not to wrestle. In fact I’ve seen your X-Ray’s.

AJ
How the hell did you see those!?

J. ARTHUR (Now standing behind AJ)
I have connections. Don’t forget that I work for the best law firm in the country. My boss can get me just about anything I want.

AJ
Well your boss isn’t getting you my X-Title. Especially not this way!

RICK
Listen AJ! You can forfeit the title over to me and save your career, or you can go through with a match with me and become crippled!

AJ
I’d rather be crippled than give you my title!

RICK
I’m sorry bud, but that’s the wrong answer!

*J. Arthur suddenly breaks a beer bottle over the back of AJ’s head! A woman screams as Rick proceeds to punch AJ in the gut and shove him on top of a pool table. Rick goes to grab him, but AJ grabs a pool ball and smacks him in the head with it! Rick stumbles back against the bar as blood trickles down his forehead.*

RICK
You son of a bitch!

*AJ staggers off the pool table and keeps himself from falling over by grabbing the arm of a nearby drunk. J. Arthur then breaks a pool cue across AJ’s back, causing him to cry out in immense pain. AJ falls to the floor, but Rick picks him back up and hits the Rough Break on AJ! AJ crashes to the ground, hard on his back, and cries out again in pain. Rick and J.A.E. then leave AJ lying on the floor in pain.*

RICK
You chose your fate bitch! You’re gonna get what’s comin’ to ya!
*Rick and J.A.E. leave the bar as the camera zooms in on AJ cringing in pain.*

(Take me the arena, cock sucking piece of shit!)

*All of the lights go out in the arena as two green headlights shine from the entrance way. “Scarecrow Man” by the Misfits begins to play over the arena’s speakers. The fans stand and boo as Skull Kid makes an appearance on stage.*

ANNOUNCER
The following bout is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring from Mexico City! Weighing in at 175 pounds...........SKULL KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*The fans continue to boo as Kid stoically makes his way to the ring and climbs in showing absolutely no emotion.*

COLE
Here we go! Skull Kid vs. Ryan Smith! Smith is once again having problems with Damaramu only this time he’s dealing with not just Dama but Dama’s cult as well!

*The OU Fight Song blares through the arena as the fans go wild! Ryan Smith runs out onto the stage pumping his fist to the air as the wild cheers continue!*

ANNOUNCER
And his opponent! From Norman Oklahoma! Weighing in at 228 pounds.......RYAN SMITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Smith slaps the fans hands as he makes his way to the ring. He stops at the base of the ramp talking a little trash to the emotionless Skull Kid. Finally Smith slides into the ring and pumps his fist to the crowd one more time! The ref gets both men to there corners and.......

DING! DING! DING!*

COLE
And we’re underway! This is the first meeting between Skull Kid and Ryan Smith!

*Both men lock up in the middle of the ring. Smith ends up rolling Kid into an arm drag. Kid quickly bounds to his feet and comes back at Smith receiving yet another armdrag. Kid tries to come in one more time and Smith decks him!*

COACH
Well looks like Smith didn’t want to play any typical cruiserweight games!

*Smith pulls Skull Kid up and tosses him into the corner by his hair where Smith starts delivering hard chops to Kid’s bare chest. The fans “whoo” along with each chop. Smith pulls him out of the corner and irish whips him into the opposite corner! Smith comes flying in with a hard stinger splash!*

COLE
Smith is super angry at the Cult and he’s not holding anything back!

CABOOSE
He’s throwing Kid around like he’s nothing!

*The rage of Ryan Smith continues as he pulls Kid out of the corner and quickly drops to his knees and takes Kid over with a fireman’s carry. Kid comes to a sitting position and Smith jumps up delivering a hard kick to his back! Kid winces in pain and arches his back as Smith hits the opposite ropes.......dropkick to the sitting Kid’s face! The fans cheer in approval as the beating from Smith continues! Smith pulls Kid up by the hair and begins to deliver hard boxer-like rights and lefts to Kid’s face. Kid is backed up to the ropes, Smith with an irish whip.........high back body drop! Smith hits the ropes......legdrop! Pin!*

1!!!!!!



2!!!!!!!!!!


Kid kicks out!

*Smith grabs Kid and pulls him to his feet going for a german suplex! Smith lifts him.......Kid flips onto his feet! Kid tries to run in but is met with a clothesline!*

COLE
This is a pretty one sided affair!

COACH
We know when Smith is pissed that there is no stopping him!

*Smith pulls Kid back up and then delivers the german suplex! Kid looks loopy...Smith sends him flying into the ropes with an irish whip...Kid reverses.......Smith goes for a clothesline.....Kid ducks and stops on a dime! Kid spins around and kicks Smith right between the legs from behind with blinding speed!*

COLE
Oh my god! I don’t even know if the ref saw that!

*Kid grabs Smith around the face from behind and yanks him back bringing him down on his head! Kid gets to his feet over Smith who is starting to come to his feet. Kid is fighting some cobwebs but then he begins to deliver hard kicks to Smith! Smith tries to block the martial arts kicks but he can’t get his arms up in time! Kid rolls Smith out of the ring with his hard kicks.......Kid hits the opposite ropes.........SPRING BOARD MOONSAULT TO THE OUTSIDE!*

COLE
What a move! Skull Kid is so fast!

*The fans cheer at the high risk move they just saw as Kid fights to his feet and pulls Smith up......Kid with a short irish whip into the ring post! The ref begins to admonish Kid for the move but Kid just ignores him putting Smith back into the ring. Kid gives the symbol for the Michinoku Driver.....he picks Smith up........AND DROPS HIM STRAIGHT ON HIS HEAD! Pin!*

1!!!!!!!!!



2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




SMITH KICKS OUT!

*The fans go nuts as Skull Kid looks angry that Smith wasn’t put away so easily. Kid heads to the top rope giving the sign for the 450 legdrop!*

COLE
Here we go! He nearly takes people’s heads off with this move!

*Smith is back to his feet and he run up the ropes.......pop up belly to belly! Both men are down! The fans begin chanting for Smith.......Smith slowly helps himself up on the ropes as Skull Kid starts to get up......Smith hits the ropes......SWINGING SLEEPER DROP!

1!!!!!!



2!!!!!!!!!!!!




3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

DING! DING! DING!

COLE
Wow! Just like that Smith takes out one of the Cult members!

ANNOUNCER
Here is your winner........RYAN SMITH!!!!!!!!!


*The fans stand and cheer but suddenly the cheers turn to boo’s as Ryan Smith turns right around into a Skull Mask big boot! Damaramu slides into the ring from out of nowhere with a metal pipe! Skull Mask grabs Smith by the back of the head and pulls him up.......Dama winds.........AND SMACKS SMITH RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE WITH THE STEEL PIPE! SMITH’S NOSE IMMEDIATELY GUSHES BLOOD! THE FANS ARE BOOING!*

COLE
He probably broke his nose!

CABOOSE
HAHAHAHA!

*Dama grabs a microphone as Smith lays flat on his back out cold.*

DAMA
You see Ryan......you can beat one of us........*points at Skull Kid laying on the ground*....but you can’t beat all of us!

*Paramedics rush from the back to help Ryan Smith as the Cult exits the ring. Skull Mask grabs Skull Kid and pulls him along with him as Damaramu walks out in front of them hugging his blood soaked pipe. The fans throw garbage and boo as the sick display continues up the ramp.*

COLE
This is terrible! Ryan Smith will never be able to beat them all himself!

CABOOSE
Well then he’s GONE!

FADE TO BLACK

(Take a break)

[Chanel #99]

(Come back)

LAST WEEK
9:45 EASTERN TIME

Dan and TB snatch a tag belt each, holding them up in celebration, before hugging. Jivin’ JR skips back into the ring, nodding seriously at the new champs. Dan turns to JR, a new look of respect on his face, and shakes his hand. T-Bod, grinning, does the same.

FADE TO BLACK....

BLACK T DRESSING ROOM
9:48 P.M. EASTERN TIME

The champagne is flowing inside Black T's dressing room as the NEW OAOAST Tag Team Champions celebrate, surround by beautiful women.

DAN
Life is made up of one guarantee: There are winners and losers. The wealthly, middle class, lower class...nothing. If you flip burgers for a living, you are a loser. If you drive the fastest cars out there, date the finest women Hollywood can offer, and wear custom-made clothes, you, my friend, are a winner. Basically, greed is right. Greed works.

Take the touranment to declare new tag team champions for example. Global Party Xchange vs. Dan Black & T-Bod -- Black T. We -- Black T -- were greedy, we wanted more. In the end, it paid off as we now have in our possession the OAOAST tag titles. GPX, you are nothing more but street punks! You see them hanging out at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue or 10th Downing Street, and they're arrested on the spot. Black T on the otherhand are high class all the way. 5 star hotels, the best restuarants world wide, women -- and even guys -- throwing themseleves on you. Are Black T full of themseleves? You bet your ass we are. It's not our fault we're--

T-BOD (Off screen)
Gr-rrrreat!

DAN (CONT'D)
(pointing at T-Bod)
This man knows the OAOAST inside-out. His incredible contributions have been terribily disrespected from day one. This gentleman was the only person in the OAOAST who took time out to help me with anything I needed, and had enough convidence in me from the very day I became GM of IZ. Unlike those wannabes upstairs, this man knows what it takes to get to the top of the mountain. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, from Hollywood U.S.A., he's Simply Ravishing, he's T-Bod!

T-Bod enters the screen and shakes Dan Black's hand. Dan pours champagne over Tony's head.

T-BOD
That's right people. It is I, T-Bod. OAOAST Tag Team Championships: Mission Accomplished. Mr. Black, it is without question, an honor and complete pleasure to be working with you. Thus far, winning the tag team titles has been the greatest accomplishment of my career. The key to tag team wrestling is simple: teamwork. Black T is a collective unit.

You see, when I became involved in OAOAST affairs the OAOAST was between a rock and a hard place. Nobody, and I mean nobody, had a clue where to take this uncontrolable monster until I became involved. I took over a prison that let the inmates run the asylum. That all changed when I became the warden. Over the course of 2 months I built the OAOAST to massive heights. The first Pay-Per-View held under my leadership -- The Great Angle Bash -- was the most watched event at that time. AngleMania III, the final major event under my watch -- before Anglesault took over and left me and others to run that sham of an administration -- destroyed all OAOAST box office records. Records that still stand till this very day. But I'm not here to toot my own horn; I have seen every person walk through that entrance since day one -- liars, cheats...You name it, I saw it. I've seen guys come in as young up-and-comers, and leave like former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar -- big headed. Guys will bullshit you in front of your face. Once they're outta your view, they'll start bad mouthing you. That pisses Dan and I off. You can tell the guys who are here to earn a living, or just want power. People hate success. Hell, the OAOAST is the personification of an American success story: A little mom and pop business who stood in front of the superstore and told them to kiss our ass!

Sunday night my phone rang, I checked my Caller ID and it said "Black, Dan." I pick up the phone and the first thing Dan tells me is, "Ton', I want you as my tag team partner." After being overwhelmed with such an honor, within seconds I respone with "You got it." Just like that the greatest tag team in OAOAST history was born. Think about it. I mean this team has it all. The brains, the money, and the talent. When you're sick, besides the usual drink lots of fluids and eat soup deal, a lot of people will tell you to drink tea. Well, in due time the OAOAST's tag division will come down with a cold, and we'll serve it with an unhealthy dose of...BLACK T~! Because you see, Dan & I are like the American (looks at Dan) -- and British -- armed forces: We can take what we want, when we want, if we want.

DAN
Since we've won the tag titles moments ago, we've already gotten calls from all over the world. T-Bod's good friend, President George W. Bush called to congratulate us. He also promised to take care of any problems we might have. (So if you own Tony or myself any money, etc., you better pay now or a cruise missle is coming threw your front door. And you don't have to leaves the lights on.) Even the Queen called from Buckingham Palace -- where I let her live, I might add.

T-BOD
So very generous of you, Mr. Black. Haha!

DAN
(pauses as T-Bod pours champagne over him; wiping his eyes)
Everybody who's anybody has been contacting us.

T-BOD(looking to his right)
J.R.!

The room erupts in cheers, as the "Farmer of Champions," good ol' J.R. enters the picture, jivin' like only he can.

J.R.
(pouring a carton of milk over himself)
Good 'ol J.R. is proud to be the Farmer of Champions. I just came back from ringside, where GPX were crying like one of STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD'S wives. Everybody fell for our trap. Lemme tell ya somethin'. Foreshadowing is the greatest weapon of all. The way we duped the entire wrestling world into thinking Dan and I parted ways, reminded me when I was a child, hogtieing those uncontrolable steers down at my daddy's farm in Oklahoma. Dan mentioned me being from Texas when everybody knows yours truely is Boomer Sooner through-and-through, all the way down to MAH fat lil' toes. Foreshadowing at its finest. The tag team divison was a sucking pond. People will claim they saw -- and the footage might indicate I had a role in the outcome -- me cause GPX the match, but to quote the greatest American President of all-time, Richard Nixon -- (doing a horrible Nixon impression and his famous salute) "I'm not a crook."

J.R. jives his way to the ladies hanging out in the back, where they proceed to rip off his shirt.

DAN
Truer words were never spoken. Thank you J.R. As of right now, I'm here putting everyone involved in the OAOAST on notice: Do as we say, or get the hell outta the way. Tony & I have huge goals! Some of you will reek the rewards, others will become footnotes in history. We already hold the tag titles, so heed the warning.

In the background, Jivin' J.R. -- only in his underwear -- is rolling on the floor like a pig rolls around in mud, as the lovely ladies pour milk on him.

T-BOD
Be prepared, ladies. Be prepared.

Black T hold up their titles as the camera ZOOMS IN on the OAOAST Tag Team Championships.

FADE TO BLACK... (No pun intended)

(Break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return)

COLE:
Now it is time for the the return of a man that I am very interested in seeing. I actually saw him backstage before we went on the air and it should be interesting to see how the events of the last month have affected the man we call PK.

CABOOSE:
I’ll bet he still sucks.

COLE:
Let’s go to the ring.

DA BUFFMAN:
*Bell rings* Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, from Jefferson City, Missouri, weighing in at 230 pounds, Tom”CapitALLLLLLLLL” Gor-annnn!!!

Goran acknowledges the crowd by raising his arm and extending his index finger.

COACH:
Wow, Randy Quaid has really let himself go. PK is facing THIS guy?

CABOOSE:
Apparently Abe had never heard of PK and thought he was some new guy, so he put him against this jobber.

COACH:
They’re “enhancement talent”, Caboose.

CABOOSE:
And the guy that made my sub today was a “sandwich artist”, right?

CUE: Oh Hell Yeah (Remix)

The crowd explodes as a new version of PK’s theme blasts through the sound system and blue strobe lights illuminate the dark arena. A single spotlight shines on Peter Knight as he steps through the curtain. He is wearing his familiar blue singlet and black pants, but his head is almost clean shaven, and a dirty blonde goatee has grown in. He is also wearing black leather gloves with the finger holes cut out.

BUFFER:
And his opponent, from Fall River, Massachusetts, weighing in at 274 pounds, Peterrrrrrrrr Knight!

COLE:
You heard right, folks, Knight has bulked up by about 20 pounds since he was gone, and seems to have changed his look a bit.
CABOOSE:
He’s also still got that shiner on his eye. He hasn’t taken a break from getting his ass kicked, I see.

Knight walks up the steps onto the apron and steps through the ropes as the house lights come back up and his music fades. He pulls on the ropes and adjusts his gloves as the ref gives instructions. The crowd starts up a moderate “P-K”! chant as the ref signals for the bell and the two men circle and lockup. Goran backs Knight into the corner and holds him there while the ref starts his count. 1…..2……3……4, and Goran breaks, but he gives Knight a little shove as he does so. They lockup again, and again Goran gets the advantage and backs Knight into the corner. 1…..2…..3…..4, and Goran breaks, and gives Knight a harder shove.

COLE:
Goran grabbing the advantage early on in this one, but Knight is visibly getting very angry.

CABOOSE:
See, I told you, Knight learned nothing.

They circle and lockup once more, and once again Goran backs Knight into the corner, and waits until the count reaches four before breaking, but this time he does so with a slap to Knight’s face. Knight immediately retaliates by almost taking Goran’s head off with a clothesline.

COACH:
Let that be a lesson: don’t piss off a guy with a goatee.

Knight picks Goran up and sends him off the ropes. Goran ducks a clothesline, but Knight connects with a jumping side kick to the face on the rebound. Knight picks him up and dumps him over the top, following him to the floor. Knight scoops him up and drops him onto the barrier and whips him hard into the ringpost before tossing Goran back in. Once back in the ring, Knight fires off a HARD clothesline, and another, and one more as the crowd gets whipped up into a frenzy.

COACH:
He’s channeling the Ultimate Warrior!

Knight waits until a woozy Goran gets to his feet and then takes him down with a standing dropkick! Knight then mounts Tom, and slugs away as Goran tries to cover up.

COLE:
We’re seeing moves that I don’t recall PK ever using before. He’s also being VERY aggressive, not letting Goran breathe in there.

Knight begins to choke him, and the ref starts his count. 1….2…..3….4…..5, and the ref is forced to get involved and pulls Knight off Goran and gives him a warning. Knight pushes the ref aside and picks Goran up, but Goran reverses a whip and sends Knight into the corner. Goran charges, but Knight sidesteps him and Goran rams his own shoulder into the post. Knight then goes to town on the shoulder, starting with ramming it into the corner once…..twice…..three times, and driving his own left shoulder into it. Knight wrings the arm and spins Goran to the mat, dropping a leg on the shoulder. Goran gets up, his left arm hanging by his side, and takes a swing at Knight with his good arm, but Knight ducks it and delivers a belly to back suplex, driving his head and shoulder into the mat.

COLE:
Man, we are just speechless here. Knight is quite literally tearing Tom Goran apart!

Knight yanks Goran to his feet, goes behind and takes him down with a Russian leg sweep, but he holds onto his arm and locks in a variation of the octopus stretch!

COACH:
And now a submission move! We are seeing some new weapons in the arsenal.

CABOOSE:
Ok, maybe he DID learn something.

Knight yanks back on the arm and shoulder of Goran while wrapping his legs around his throat. Goran struggles for the ropes for a moment, but realizes the futility of that and taps out.

BUFFER:
Here is your winner, by submission, Peterrrrrrrrrrr Knight!!

The electrified crowd goes bonkers as Knight’s music starts again, but Knight keeps the hold on after the bell. The ref quickly starts his five count and the timekeeper frantically rings the bell as Knight still won’t let go. The ref threatens to reverse his decision and Knight finally lets go.

COLE:
Well, it sure looks like PK has come back with a purpose tonight. I wouldn’t want to be Goran, or Knight’s next opponent, whoever that may be.

Goran rolls on the mat in extreme pain as the ref raises Knight’s hand, but he quickly jerks it back down and looks over his fallen opponent while the ref checks on him. Knight exits the ring and starts up the ramp, but he stops and looks at the highlights of the match on the HeldTron, which includes Goran’s slap that set him off. Knight exhales sharply and turns back towards the ring, sliding in as the ref is trying to help Goran up. The ref tries to get in his way, but Knight roughly shoves him aside and slaps the submission hold back on, as Goran screams in pain. The ref recovers and calls for help to get Knight under control. Various OaOast officials enter the ring and all try to get Knight to stop.

CABOOSE:
You know, I’m starting to like this guy.
COLE:

Things have gotten a bit out of hand here. We’ll take a break and get this problem settled. Stay tuned to HeldDown, folks!!

(BREAK!)

[Chanel #99]

(RETURN)

HeldDOWN~! returns, but rather than live footage of the announce crew, the crowd, or the backstage area that usually greets us, instead, we get a crackling screen, with footage that looks slightly grainy. The words "Via Satellite" then scroll across the bottom of the screen, and in the background you can hear "Make Her Say" by O-Town playing.

The screen shows a nightclub, somewhere in this world, and the camera then turns to point the man holding it, Scotty Static of the Globaly Party Exchange.

SCOTTY
YO, peoples! Scotty Static comin' to ya live and in technicolor, as me and Johnny are at The Hot Box in Hotlanta, GA, doin' a little filmin' for our special "GPX-rated" webcasts. Now me and Johnny are doin' our thang here tonight, but we just saw what happened a little while ago with Black T and Stevie JoJo, and we gots somethin' to say to that. YO, JOHNNY!

Static calls out to his partner, who walks through a crowd of very attractive, under-25 women. Jackson grabs the camera from Scotty, giving us an extreme close up of his face, hidden behind the trendiest sunglasses money can buy.

JOHNNY
Yo, Johnny Jam here, sayin' what's up to all the fans watchin' this right now, and callin' out those two suckas Dan Black and Tony The Body. You guys mighta gotten over on us last week, but even the sun will one day shine on a dog's ass. I have no idea what that really means, but the gist is, you boys are just holding on to what we deserve. We made it to hell and back with The Minions, we lit up that tournament like a bonfire, and you boys had to get all down and dirty? That's all well and good, because you take it to the pay per view, you pick anything you want for our match. Tables, ladders, chairs, straps, hell, bring 'em all. Let's make history, and after we do, you'll BE history! It's time to party up and throw down, boys...the GPX is ready to cross "The T" and we're gonna come and dot your eyes too! Believe it, playas!

Jackson hands the camera back to Scotty, who looks into it and adds a "YAHTZEE~!" for no real reason whatsoever, before fiddling with the camera controls (while still looking into it) and then shutting it down, thus cutting out the signal and the screen turns to static.

(Break)

(Return from break)

Cole: We’re back live and Dan Black (cut)
Caboose: The MAN! Dan Black
Cole: Excuse me Mr. Caboose. The Man Dan Black and his tag team partner T-Bod, the new Tag Team Champions, are in the ring…waiting.
Caboose: They can do whatever they want!
Cole: Suckup.
Caboose: You.
Cole: Me.
Caboose: Yes. You. Suckup

Cue: “Aww Naww’

Caboose: <censored> A!
Cole: Stephen Joseph making his presence felt, could it have to do with Dan Black and T-Bod?

Stephen Joseph, complete with “OAOAST Savior” T-Shirt (with accomplishments on back) walks out from behind the HeldDown Stage with a microphone, a clipboard, and paper on the clipboard. As his song continues and he walks down the rampway, the HeldDown fans boo, Dan Black stands there with a curious look, and T-Bod is applauding. Stephen slides into the ring, his neck now healthy again, and stands up.

Stephen Joseph
So great to be here on HeldDown today. (loudly) Yeah…Right. Didn’t I warn you LAST YEAR at this time that Zack ONLY wanted the title. That he DIDN’T care what you fans thought, that it was all a show. Well, you were once blind, but now you see don’t you…I WAS RIGHT! I’m Allllways right, and that’s why I’m here today. Still here, with chumps like Caboose just commentating how good my ass looks in these pants, Right Caboose?

(Fans Boo)

Stephen Joseph
But enough of my self-ingratiation, I’m here for a reason tonight. Dan, T-Bod congratulations on your winning the Tag Team Titles. Sure Dan, you nearly ended my life on two legs, but you did what you had to do to prove a point. And while the Tag Team Belt looks good on you, a World Title would look…much…better, in time, of course, because I have another individual who I want to topple Mr. Zack (censored)’ing Malibu. Congratulations Dan and T-Bod…Can we applaud their great accomplishments?

(Fans Boo)
::Stephen shakes the hands of T-Bod, then pauses at Dan before shaking his hand as well. Looks like that is behind them::

Dan Black
So why bring us out here, just to congratulate us?
Stephen Joseph
That, and to sign you both to a match at my PPV, School’s Out: Class Dismissed coming up in a few weeks. Against G-P-X.

Dan & T-Bod
GPX?!
(fans cheer)
Dan
We beat them Popick! What the…who’s friend are you now?

Stephen Joseph
Dan, you’re too presumptuous. I said you were going to have a Tag Team Title Match against GPX. You have to, its in your contract, and they’re the top contenders. I didn’t say it was all bad.

T-Bod
We’re…listening.

Stephen Joseph
Because at School’s Out, Class Dismissed, Black T faces GPX … in any match, with any rules, that Black T wants.

Cole: Black T faces GPX
Caboose: And Popick puts the odds in the old iZ wrestlers’ favor. Someone should FIRE HIM!
Cole: What will Black T choose for their match? Will GPX be even able to survive…What will they think?

(fade to commercial)

[Chanel #99]

*return from commercial*

The cameras pan over the crowd, stopping on several signs, such as "Hack Mali-BOO," "Dama suks balls," "Crystal for PM," and "Chris Bryte's ass sucks," the last one complete with a fake ass made out of cardboard.

COLE
Folks, welcome back to Held--

Cole is abruptly cut off by the opening strains of Sevendust's "Black" as the lights dim over the arena.

CABOOSE
Ha! That's the first time I've ever been glad to hear that man's music!

COLE
That's cold.

The fans pop HUGE as Hoff steps onto the stage!

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following match has been set for one fall, and it will determine the #1 contendership to the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship!

CABOOSE
Which should be Drek Stone's already.

COACH
Come on 'Booze, you know Hoff deserves a shot!

CABOOSE
I know that Drek Stone, the most athletic, talented, and charismatic newcomer to come through our doors in ages is having his toes stepped on by Wonder Woman there.

BUFFER
Currently heading down the aisle, hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota, he has dedicated his life to cleaning up the moral trash of this organization...ladies and gentlemen, HOFF!!!

Hoff slides into the ring, climbing the turnbuckles and saluting the crowd, pointing to one particularly rabid fan with a "HOFF: Take Out The TRASH" sign.

COLE
Now, see, that's what you're forgetting, Caboose. Hoff's got a new mission, a new purpose here, and it's to take out guys like Drek Stone!

CABOOSE
What do you mean, "guys like Drek Stone?" ITALIAN-IST!

COLE
What?

COACH
Geez, come on, Cole.

COLE
I--

But Cole is once again interrupted by the arena speakers:

Woke Up This Morning
Got Yourself A Gun
Mama Always Said You'd Be
The Chosen One

The fans' cheers turn quickly to boos as Drek steps out onto the stage.

BUFFER
And his opponent, by way of Brooklyn, New York...A man whose style and grace inside the ring are surpassed only by his style outside of it..."Reckless" DREK STOOOOOOONE!!!

Drek smiles smugly at the fans as he makes his way down to ringside, strutting along confidently.

CABOOSE
There's my man. What a guy. What a... oh, listen to these fans. They're so ungrateful. Jealous, even.

COLE
I don't think Drek Stone has too many fans at ringside, Caboose.

COACH
Oh, I don't know, Caboose. Drek does have a certain fashionability to him.

Drek calmly enters the ring. He turns away from Hoff, not meeting his gaze, and looks out across the fans, thumping his chest arrogantly and smirking as his impressive pyrotechnics sparkle off of the corner posts. Drek turns around...

and gets caught with a double-leg takedown from Hoff! The bell rings and Drek's pyros die off as Hoff begins pummeling Drek with a flurry of fists! The referee pulls Hoff off, warning him while Drek scurries to his corner and pulls himself up.

COACH
Why does that ref keep pulling him off?

CABOOSE
Because he's DIRTY!

CABOOSE
Hoff, or the ref?

COACH
Hoff, obviously. But maybe the ref too...hmmmm....

COLE
Guys, Hoff's been jumping guys before the bell. We've seen this angry streak come out in Hoff as of late, and quite frankly, I like it!

COACH
Me too!

CABOOSE
Simps. Give me Drek's quiet confidence any day, over the antics of that pink ranger wanna-be.

The referee backs Hoff into the opposite corner, then checks on Drek, who shoves him away and checks his hair. The fans jeer loudly at the arrogant gesture as the referee waves the combatants on.

COACH
Let's get it on!

CABOOSE
All right, Mills Lane.

COACH
Huh? No, no, I was looking at the cover of this month's OAOAST HeldDOWN magazine. Look!

The cameras cut back to Sofa Central. Coach holds up a copy of this months OAOAST HeldDOWN Magazine, featuring a photo of Crystal on the cover with the caption "24/7: The Female Phenom Lives For The Business."

COLE
For crying out loud, Coach.

COACH
Yeah, and the article is great!

CABOOSE
Yeah, I'm sure you're reading that for the articles.

COACH
Uh...

*OAOAST HeldDOWN Magazine: The Source For All The Latest. Subscribe Today! 1-555-4-OAOAST*

COLE
Let's get back to the action in the ring.

In the ring, Drek and Hoff lock up in a collar-and-elbow tie up. Drek slips into an arm drag, sending Hoff down to the mat. Drek slips the move into an armbar, but Hoff finds his feet. Drek keeps the armbar locked, but Hoff twists, steps back, and catches Drek in a dorp toe hold, sending him down. Hoff slides forward and slaps on a side headlock, to the delight of the fans. Drek struggles to his knees as Hoff wrenches in on the hold, but Drek finds his feet. Grabbing Hoff's arm, Drek slips his head free from the hold, and applies a hammerlock, wrenching Hoff's arm back. Hoff staggers forward slightly and Drek smiles, but Hoff catches him in the face with a back elbow!

COACH
Ouch!

CABOOSE
Right in those perfect teeth.

COACH
He is a handsome man.

COLE
Coach?

COACH
I'm just saying.

Drek's head snaps back, and Hoff slips his arm free of the hammerlock. Hoff turns around, and catches Drek with a big right hand that sends him stuttering back. Hoff grabs Drek's arm and whips him in the ropes, catching him coming off with a back elbow that stuns Drek. As Drek reels, Hoff grabs his arm again and twists, doubling Drek over. Hoff quickly releases the arm and, before Drek can react, grabs his neck and takes him over with a snapmare!

COACH
Quick as a cat, Mikey!

COLE
Absolutley, but I wouldn't necessarily suggest that Hoff tries to match speed with Drek Stone.

CABOOSE
Or looks, or ability, or personality...

Hoff kneels down behind Drek and locks in a rear chinlock, wearing Drek down. Drek, though, fights back to his feet. Drek elbows Hoff in the ribcage, causing the big man to release the hold, and Drek whips Hoff over with a snapmare of his own! Hoff lands in a seated position, and Drek wastes no time running off the ropes and catching Hoff with a diving dropkick! Hoff whips forward, then falls back!

CABOOSE
What a move! Everything he does is flawless!

COLE
Is that right?

CABOOSE
I can only imagine.

Drek hops ot his feet and smiles across the fans, who boo. A "Drek Sucks" chant picks up as Stone drops a knee across Hoff's face.

COLE
He is so cocky in there...

CABOOSE
He has a right to be! He's DREK STONE! A consumate professional athlete!

COLE
You really love this guy, don't you.

CABOOSE
Who doesn't! Coach?

COACH
......well, he is pretty amazing...

CABOOSE
Damn right.

Drek picks Hoff up by the hair, giving him a thumb to the eye for good measure. Drek ignores the ref as he whips Hoff into the buckle, charging in after him with a big clothesline. Hoff sinks into the corner as Drek steps back and unloads with a knife-edge chop.

FANS
WOOOOOOOOOO!

CABOOSE
You'd think they'd stop doing that. This isn't even the right promotion.

COLE
What?!

CABOOSE
Uh...I mean....

The fans, in the midst of their boos, can't help but "woo" along as Drek unloads chop after chop to Hoff's chest, turning it bright red. After the last chop, Drek whips Hoff into the opposite corner, chraging again, but Hoff raises a boot that catches Drek in the face!

COLE
Nice counter!

CABOOSE
What? He lifted his foot. That's easy.

The fans cheer as Drek staggers back from the impact, and Hoff charges out of the corner, flattening Drek with a clothesline. Drek gets to his feet again, and again Hoff sends him down. Drek gets up a thrid time, and again, Hoff bowls him over with a clothesline that keeps him down. Hoff tenses and flexes his muscles and roars out to the fans, who shout their love back at him!

COACH
Hoff's an animal!

CABOOSE
No, he's a hero, remmeber? A big fat hero, and if you ask me, a big fat zero.

COACH
Oh, nice line, smarty. God, Cole can do better than that.

COLE
...No I can't.

Hoff picks Drek up and shoves him into the nearby corner, catching him with a big right hook to the body, and a left, and another. Hoff methodically works over Drek's ribs before finally unloading with a big right hook that almost sends Drek sailing over the top rope! Hoff whips Drek out of the corner...but holds on and turns around, switching the momentum and whipping Drek HARD into the same corner! Drek crumples, holding his back in agony! Hoff look down and begins stomping away at Drek!

COACH AND COLE
STOMP A MUDHOLE! WALK IT DRY!

CABOOSE
Jesus.

COLE
Hey, you never had to work with him.

Hoff unloads the series of boots to Drek's midsection before pulling him to his feet. Hoff pulls Drek out of the corner and grabs him for a high angle scoop slam, but Drek shifts his weight and slides down over Hoff's shoulder! Drek lands behind Hoff and rolls him up, grabbing a handful of tights!

ONE!




TWO!







THREE-NO!

COLE
Drek almost stole it there!

CABOOSE
That's what you get for wearing those tights, hero.

COLE
He wears those because he's a WRESTLER.

CABOOSE
Sure.

Drek pops up to his feet and catches Hoff with a clothesline of his own. Drek gets up, and stomps away at Hoff, then picks him up again, smiling out toward the crowd.

COLE
What's Drek thinking here?

Drek grabs Hoff by the head, throwing Hoff's arm over his own neck, and lifts him up, taking him over with a vertical suplex. Drek sits up after the move with a huge grin on his face as the fans boo. Drek grabs Hoff again and lifts him up, bringing him down with another veritcal suplex.

COLE
Oh man, what arrogance by Drek Stone.

CABOOSE
It's great.

COACH
We've seen Hoff do this many times to people, and it's worked every time, and I'd imagine it'll work against him just as well.

Drek picks Hoff up and hooks him for a third suplex, but Hoff blocks it! The fans pop as Hoff blocks another attempt by Drek, then reverses the hold into a suplex of his own! Hoff rolls to his feet and grabs Drek, taking him up and over with the move again! Hoff pops up, grabs Drek a thrid time, hooks him in for the move, and lifts him up....




Up.....

COLE
What power!





...and finally DOWN with a third vertical suplex! The fans cheer as Hoff rolls into a lateral press!

ONE!








TWO!









THREENO~! Drek kicks out!

COLE
Drek showing some nice resiliency! Hoff's used a lot of wear-down moves in this match so far, but Drek keeps going!

CABOOSE
You have to understand that Drek is a champion, and has been all his life. He's wrestled for eight years, he's held titles...I think he can take a few suplexes.

COACH
Well Hoff's gonna test him again....~!

Hoff pulls Drek up, then grabs him around the waist and snaps him over with a belly to belly suplex! Hoff floats over into another cover!

ONE!




TWO!






NO!

Drek kicks out of the pinfall attempt, drawing a look of frustration from Hoff. Hoff gets to his knees, then his feet. Hoff looks down at Drek for a moment, thinking...then grabs Drek's head and tucks it under his arm.

COACH
Hoff seems a little unsure in there!

COLE
He's definitely had a lot on his mind lately. Looks like he could be going for a bulldog here...

Hoff runs forward, looking to drive Drek's skull to the mat, but Drek slips free and uses Hoff's momentum to push the big man into the ropes. Hoff rebounds off and comes at Drek with a clothesline, but Drek ducks and grabs Hoff, driving him down with a Side Effect!

CABOOSE
Yes! Now THAT'S an effective counter.

COACH
A SIDE-effective counter.

CABOOSE
Oh, cripes. Just stop.

Drek floats into a cover!

ONE






TWO







THREENO~!

Hoff gets the shoulder up in the nick of time. Unfazed, Drek picks Hoff back up, catching him with a European Uppercut that spins Hoff around. Drek seizes the opportunity and drives Hoff down with a facebuster! Drek rolls Hoff over for the cover, but Hoff again gets out at two. Drek again picks Hoff up, and this tme simply pulls Hoff's legs out from under him. Drek looks down, grabs Hoff's legs...and applies a Texas Cloverleaf! Drek turns Hoff over and cinches in on the hold!

COLE
Texas Cloverleaf from Drek here!

COACH
This is a debilitating move, guys, putting all sorts of pressure on the knees and especially the back of Hoff!

CABOOSE
Yes yes yes YES! Come on Hoff, tap, dammit! TAP! TAAAAP!

The referee checks on Hoff, but Hoff shakes his head no! Drek looks back, and rears back on the hold, causing Hoff to scream out in pain!

COLE
Will Hoff tap out? Can he hold on? We'll find out!

*go to break*

Fans, don't forget to buy your Chris Bryte novelty asses now! Pay tribute to one of the funniest OAOAST moments in recent memory! Goof on your friends! The Chris Bryte Fake Ass, available only through this offer! Call now at 1-555-4-OAOAST or order online today!



*return from break*

COLE
Folks, welcome back to the #1 contendership match for the Puerto Rican Title! Here's what you missed during the break:

"During the Break" rolls by on the screen, showing Hoff reaching the ropes while locked in the Texas Cloverleaf. The referee calls for the break, but Drek simply lets go, grabs Hoff's legs, drags him away from the ropes, and reapplies the hold.

COLE
Drek Stone is playing dirty pool, guys.

CABOOSE
Dirty? I think you mean "smart," Cole! Drek does what it takes to win! And that was legal anyway!

COLE
It doesn't make it right, Caboose. Drek should have broken the hold--

CABOOSE
He did!

COLE
Anyway, Hoff in some trouble here...hey, wait!

The fans cheer as an image of The Mad Cappa appears on the Angletron! Cappa is sitting at a monitor in the back, the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title draped over his shoulder, watching the ongoing match intently.

COACH
Aw yeah, Mad Cappa in the house!

COLE
You know Mad Cappa's got a lot of interest in this one! He's gonna face the winner for his title at School's Out!

CABOOSE
I gotta admit, Drek vs. Cappa should be a hell of a match.

COLE
Will you stop.

In the ring, Drek, catching a glance at the video wall, looks up for a second, momentarily distracted, leaning forward...allowing Hoff to power out of the hold! Hoff kicks his legs free as Drek stumbles forward!

CABOOSE
Oh, he's pissed now. You DON'T break out of a Drek Stone submission hold. No you don't.

Drek's smug visage is replaced by a scowl as he storms toward Hoff, who is holding his back in pain. Drek kicks at Hoff's back HARD, sending spazms through the big man's body. Drek begins to tear into Hoff, kicking wildly! Drek leans down and yells "STUNAD!" right in Hoff's face, drawing a round of boos from the crowd. Drek levels one last, HARD kick at Hoff's back before turning to the fans and pounding his chest, drawing a HUGE chorus of jeers!

COLE
Drek is showing his reckless side here!

CABOOSE
It's how he got the nickname, Cole. No respect for his opponent's health or safety.

Drek picks Hoff up, and grabs him by the head, positioning him for the STONECUTTER!!

COLE
If Drek hits this it could be over right here!

CABOOSE
You mean it WILL be over!

COACH
I hate to agree with Caboose, but-- whoa! Wait a minute!

Drek grabs Hoff's tights to lift him for the move, but Hoff uses a free arm to hit Drek in the ribs! Drek drives an eblow into Hoff's back in response, but Hoff hits him again! Drek lifts bothn his hands free to drive a double-axehandle blow to Hoff's spine...

But Hoff counters into a bridging Northern Lights suplex!

ONE!







TWO!









THREE!!!











NO!!!!!

Drek BARELY kicks out of the bridge!

COLE
Hoff was an eyelash away there!

COACH
Drek picked the wrong day to have a DDT as a finisher!

CABOOSE
Picked the...damn, you are SUCH a moron!

COACH
Maybe, but your boy just got served!

CABOOSE
I-- argh.

Drek actually beats Hoff to his feet after the Northern Lights Suplex, but gets met with a right hand to the gut! Hoff climbs off of his knees, and delivers another right hand to Drek, and another, and sends him into the ropes, catching him...with the SPINEBUSTER~!

COACH
He said he would!

COLE
And he did! The cover!

ONE!






TWO!









THREENO!!!

COLE
Drek barely gets the shoulder up, but he is in trouble here!

CABOOSE
Oh, come on, Drek, come on...

Hoff pops to his feet after the SPINEBUSTER~, and looks down at Drek, before looking out across the fans and finally allowing himself a smile.

CABOOSE
Oh I don't like this.

COACH
This could be the end, boys!

Hoff picks Drek up, holding the woozy Italian's hair in his hand before screaming out, "H-BOMB!!!"

COLE
The H-Bomb! God, we haven't seen this for months!

COACH
Hoff's been using the Rock Bottom but that H-Bomb...oh my!

COLE
A powerbomb into a spinebuster, I don't know if ANYONE can get up from that!

Hoff throws Drek into a standing headscissors, reaches down, and flips him up onto his shoulders...but Drek shifts his weight and slips down over Hoff's shoulder, rolling Hoff up and grabbing a handful of tights!!!

COLE
Not like this!

ONE!







TWO!











THREE!!!!!

*ding ding ding*

The fans begin to boo like mad as Drek pops to his feet, raising his hands in victory.

BUFFER
The winner of this bout, DREK STOOOOONE!!

CABOOSE
YES YES YES! Drek does it again!

COLE
That was despicable. Drek used the tights to--

CABOOSE
Drek outwrestled Hoff, Cole. Pure and simple.

Drek rests on the turnbuckle, keeping one arm raised. The referee raises his arm in victory, then rolls out of the ring as Drek stands up and smiles a big grin out over the rabid crowd.

CABOOSE
What perfect teeth! Well Cole, guess your hero didn't get the job done, and-- AH!

Drek, still smiling, turns around...

RIGHT INTO A ROCK BOTTOM!

The fans ERUPT as Hoff drives Drek to the canvas, popping to his feet and screaming at him!

COACH
Oh yeah!

CABOOSE
This is UNCALLED FOR!

COLE
Hoff getting some small measure of satisfaction after having the match stolen from him!

CABOOSE
STOLEN?! STOLEN?! Cole, I oughta-- OH NO! He's gonna do it again!

COACH
Yeah!

Hoff picks Drek up by the hair, throws him into position, and drives him down with ANOTHER Rock Bottom!

CABOOSE
What the hell?! Somebody stop him!

Hoff said he was going to punish the wicked, and...oh, no.

CABOOSE
!!!

COLE
Oh, my.

COACH
Again?!

Hoff picks Drek up again, and levels a HARD glare into Drek's glazed eyes. Hoff grabs Drek around the neck, lifts him up, and DRIVES him to the mat with a THIRD Rock Bottom! Hoff pops to his feet, glaring down at Drek as the fans chant his name!

CABOOSE
Listen to these idiots! This is horrible! What kind of superhero is this man?

"Black" starts up as Hoff leaves the ring after one last glance at Drek.

CABOOSE
Well, depsite what the sound guy seems to believe, the winner of this match was DREK STONE, and it'll be him, NOT Hoff, vs. The Mad Cappa at School's Out this month.

COLE
Yeah, but Hoff made his point. These kinds of actions will not be tolerated.

"Black" fades out, and after a minute or so, Drek slowly gets to his feet, raising his hand in victory.

CABOOSE
There's your winner. God, poor guy...

COLE
Well Caboose, you're right, at School's Out it will be that man, Drek Stone, against The Mad Cappa for the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title. But we've got more action ahead here, so stay tuned!

*fade to commercial*

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)
::The scene opens at ringside, where Jackie Gayda stands in the center of the ring with a microphone in her hand::

Jackie: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time is a man who a little over a week ago at The Year of Living Anglelously, defeated Panther in a 2-out-of-3 falls match to end his career in the OAOAST. Then, just last week here on hD~!, he shocked us all when he turned on and attacked Tina in the middle of their wedding. Fans, please welcome...CHRIS...BRYTE!!!!!

::"It's Goin' Down" by the Linkin' Park feat. the X-ecutioners hits the PA system, and the arena slowly fades to black. A deep blue hue covers the arena, white strobe lights begin flashing at the entrance, and a thick smoke pours out from the locker room.::

Watch them flee

Watch them flee

Wa...Wa...Watch them flee
Hip-Hop hits

*scratch* *scratch*

And you do it like this!

::Suddenly, the locker room curtains swing open and Chris Bryte steps out from the locker room, met by a chorus of boos from the capacity crowd. He's wearing an expensive-looking 3-piece suit, black shades and black dress shoes. He saunters down the ramp with a smile on his face, dodging the cups and bottles being thrown by the ringside fans. At ringside, he climbs up the ring stairs, steps through the ropes and walks out to the center of the ring with his arms extended into the air, soaking up the boos from the crowd. Chants of "Chris Bryte sucks" start up in the crowd as the lights slowly begin to return to normal. The music fades out, and Bryte walks up to Jackie with a smile on his face.::

Jackie: Now, Chris--

Bryte snatches the mic from her, drawing boos from the crowd. He reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out a second pair of shades and places them on Jackie's face. He then raises the mic to his mouth and says...

Bryte: Jackie baby, you're gonna need these, because things around here just got a whole lot BRYTER~!

::Bryte passes the mic back to Jackie as the crowd boos once again, with the chants of "Chris Bryte sucks" growing louder. Jackie removes the shades and tosses them to the mat. She then continues::

Jackie: Chris, last week, fans were shocked by your betrayal of your...well, former fiancee Tina. This, the same woman who helped you break into the business. A woman who has stood by your side for months. A woman who many say is the ONLY reason you still have a career here in the OAOAST after Living Anglelously! You betrayed her, you attacked her, and you absolutely humiliated her in this ring last week. For those of you who missed it last week, we've got some footage for you. Take a look...

::Both Jackie and Bryte turn to the Angletron as the HeldDOWN~! logo scrolls across the screen. The words "LAST WEEK" appear in the upper right hand corner of the screen as footage of the Bryte/Tina wedding begins to play. Tina has already said "I do", and now awaits Bryte's answer. As the fans, announcers, and MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE egg Bryte on, he turns to Tina,
places his right hand over his heart, opens his mouth and says...


Bryte:...NAH!

Cole: "Nah?!"

*WHAM*

Cole: OH NO!!!!!!!

::Suddenly, Bryte turns and blasts Tina with a spinning back kick to to gut, doubling her over. He follows up with a with a knee lift to the jaw that knocks Tina to the canvas. The crowd is LIVID!!!! Bottles, cups and other items fly into the ring as Bryte knocks over the podium, shoves the Minister out of the ring and grabs the mic. He turns to Tina with a look of disdain in his eyes::

Bryte: YOU BITCH!!! YOU STUPID...DISGUSTING BITCH!!!!! (crowd boos) DID YOU *REALLY* THINK THAT I LOVED YOU?!??! DID YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT I COULD BE IN LOVE WITH A FREAK LIKE YOU?!?!?!

::Tina sits on the mat holding her jaw, in total disbelief at what has just happened. As tears begin to flow down her cheeks, Tina tries to rise, but...

*CRACK*

...Bryte sends her right back down with a kick to the temple. A second one to the back causes her to roll over onto her stomach, and by now, officials are beginning to pour out from the locker room::

Cole: This is absolutely disgusting! I cannot believe what Chris Bryte has done! The son of a bitch...in the middle of the wedding...

Caboose: And I don't think he's done, Cole! Look!

::With a series of martial arts kicks and strikes, Bryte sends the officials flying from the ring. Meanwhile, a groggy Tina is beginning to pull herself back to her feet. Bryte turns back to her with a sinister smile::

Cole: Oh no! C'mon, Chris! You've done enough!

::When Tina reaches her feet, Bryte rushes up to her and boots her in the midsection, doubling her over again. Suddenly, he scoops her up over his right shoulder and parades her around the ring as the fans look on, booing wildly. More officials enter the ring, trying to talk Bryte down, but to no avail. Bryte turns to the main camera, lifts Tina high into the air, and drops her down in...

Cole: THE BRYTE OUT!!!!!!!! MY GOD, HE JUST GAVE THE BRYTE OUT TO TINA!!!!!!

::Bryte springs back to his feet, soaking up the boos from the capacity crowd. Then, to complete the humilation, Bryte reaches down and rips off Tina's wedding gown, leaving her lying on the mat in her bra and panties. He throws what's left of the gown into the crowd, then hops out to the floor as officials attend to Tina. We freeze on an image of Tina crying in the ring as the HeldDOWN~! logo scrolls across the screen once more and we cut back to live action, where the fans in the arena are now chanting "ASSHOLE" at Bryte. It doesn't seem to phase Bryte, however, as he just smiles calmly. Jackie looks pissed::

Jackie: How could you do that?! How could you do that to someone who loved you?! Someone who cared about you! And you're laughing! You find this funny! Chris Bryte, you owe each and every last one of us and, most importantly, you owe Tina an explanation!

::Bryte rolls his eyes and snatches the mic from Jackie.::

Bryte: Jackie, Jackie, Jackie! (chuckles) What is there to explain? My career here in the OAOAST has been the proverbial diary! Just turn through the pages...you'll see the answers if you read closely enough. However...last week, you, * PANTHER* (LOUD pop from the crowd), and EVERYBODY around the world learned a harsh lesson. You know what they say about diaries, right? (chuckles) You may think you know, but in reality, you have NO IDEA!

::The crowd boos as Bryte passes the mic back to Jackie. She looks confused::

Jackie: What's that supposed to mean?

Bryte: What it means is that last week, I proved without a shadow of a doubt just who's the REAL brightest mind in the game, and it isn't Panther...IT'S ME!

::There are a few boos scattered about the arena, mostly from longtime Panther fans who recognize Bryte's use of one of Panther's old catchphrases. Bryte continues::

Bryte: Just think back to January 1st--the night that, with the help of Tina, I got my tryout match here in the OAOAST, against none other than the "CHAMP OF CHAMPS" himself! Now Panther, it was no coincidence that you were my opponent that night, because I requested you specifically. And no, it wasn't because Tina put me up to it, which I know there's been speculation about for a while now! My reasons for targeting you go much, much deeper, than that! See Panther, I know you! I know you a lot better than you think, and I've known you for a lot longer than you actually realize. (chuckles) Panther, once upon a time, I actually looked up to you! Yeah...I was one of those loving...caring...ADORING fans that you used to go on and on about in those long-winded promos of yours! Remember that, Panther? Remember?! (smiles) Man! Panther, I used to think that you were to coolest man alive! I idolized you! You were everything I wanted to be, Panther! You had it all...the looks, the brains, the skill, the attitude...the charisma! Panther, in my eyes, you truly were the Personification of Greatness, and even now, as I stand here before you, I can say that there's no reason that you shouldn't be a legend...an ICON in this business! No reason at all! You had all the tools, Panther!

::Now getting worked up, Bryte begins to pace the ring. Jackie nervously backs away from Bryte as he attempts to compose himself. Bryte breathes a couple of deep breaths before turning back to the camera with a slight smile on his face. He continues::

Bryte: Yeah, Panther, you really could've been something special...but unfortunately, it didn't quite work out like that, did it? (crowd boos) You people may not like it, but IT'S THE DAMN TRUTH! And why? Because, Panther, as great and as talented as you were...you had a weakness, and a very big one at that. See Panther, you've always...ALWAYS been a sucker for the ladies! (more boos) It's true! I look back to 2000, 2001 when you were at your peak! You were on the verge of breaking through to superstardom! I just knew it! It was only a matter of time before you made it to the big leagues, Panther! You had proven your greatness to me, and I knew that it'd only be a matter of time before you came in and showed the whole world what I and thousands of others already knew, and that's that you were the best damn wrestler ever to lace up the boots. But then came along came the women! I'm talking about the Chynas...the Diamonds...the Nikkis...and oh yes...THE TINAS! (mild pop from the crowd) THEY RUINED YOU, PANTHER!!! THEY RUINED YOU!!!! You let them get into your head! You let them take your mind off of your craft! You let them get in the way of your career, and you suffered because of it! They made you soft, Panther! They made you completely soft! In a matter of months, you went from being...possibly the next big thing in professional wrestling to being a glorified house wife! To being a stay-at-home babysitter?

::Bryte scornfully shakes his head as the crowd boos once more in the background::

Bryte: Man. Imagine my surprise when I turned on the TV last fall and found out that Panther had made his way to the OAOAST. Not the Panther I knew, though! This wasn't the Champion of Champions I knew and idolized! No! This man was a mere shell of his former self! All of the promise you showed in 2000, Panther...it was gone! The skill, the charisma...GONE! You'd lost your focus...you'd lost your killer instinct. Heh...I never thought I'd see that day that my hero, Panther, would break down and cry on national television, but IT HAPPENED! Panther, you came out on this show and you cried in front of the world! Imagine how embarrassed I was when I saw that! (sighs) It was at that moment, Panther, that I knew that you were no longer fit for this business. You didn't belong in a wrestling ring any longer, Panther, and once I realized that, I knew that I had to take action, to save you and anybody that's ever looked up to you from any further embarrassment! And THAT, my dear Jackie, is why I came to the OAOAST! That is why I've done what I've done! From day one, I set out to drive Panther out of the business once and for all. And Panther...damn, you made it so easy!

::Bryte laughs, drawing more boos from the crowd::

Bryte: I mean, c'mon people! Did you really think that a sexy stud like me would ever be interested in a skank like Tina?! (crowd boos) Please! I knew exactly how to get to you, Panther! I knew that all I had to do was get to Tina, all I needed to do was get to the woman you love, and you'd fold like a book! And you fell for it, Panther! You fell right into my trap, and now, as I stand before you people here tonight, that washed up has been that USED TO BE the Champion of Champions is no more! He's gone, and now, only Chris Bryte remains! I stand before you tonight with all the skill that Panther had in his prime...all the talent, all of the charisma, twice the attitude, but none of the weakness! (crowd boos) Mark my word, fans, Chris Bryte will never go soft! I will do anything and everything I can to live up to the expectations that Panther failed to reach, and with me here in the OAOAST, you people can deny that the future has never been BRYTER!

::The crowd boos once again in the background as Bryte passes the mic back to Jackie. He seems to be getting ready to exit the ring, but--

Jackie: So that's it? You used Tina to get to Panther? You not only end a man's career, but you humiliate this woman, you destroy her mentally and emotionally all because over some unfulfilled boyhood fantasy?

::The "ASSHOLE" chants start up once again, causing Bryte to smile and shake his head. He turns back to Jackie and grabs the mic once again::

Bryte: Jackie, Jackie, Jackie! You make it sound so...so BAD! (crowd boos) Hey, let me tell you people something...do not feel sorry for Tina! Don't! Believe me, I've known her just as long, and you OAOAST fans have NO IDEA just how rotten that bitch truly is! (louder boos) I mean it! Panther's life isn't the only one this woman has destroyed! Hell...I can name dozens of people...DOZENS...hell...my own...

::A commotion in the crowd distracts Bryte, stopping him mid-sentence. He reaches up and slowly removes his shades from his face before turning to the entrance. An evil smirk comes across his face::

Bryte: Well, well, well! Speak of the devil! Cameraman...(pointing to the stage) get a shot of that! Please...get a shot...

::The camera cuts to the entrance, where an *ANGRY* Tina comes into view. There's a look of fury in her eyes as she glares at Bryte from the stage, breathing deep, rapid breaths through clinched teeth::

Bryte: HELLOOOOOOOOO MRS. BRYTE! (laughs) Oh my goodness! Tina, I must admit, I didn't expect this! I didn't expect you to be here! Hell, after the way I embarrassed you here last week, I never thought you'd show your face here in the OAOAST ever again! I mean...

::Tina starts down the ramp, drawing a loud pop from the crowd.::

Bryte: HEY! WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!!!

::Tina stops 3/4 of the way down the ramp, causing the crowd to boo. She takes another deep breath and clinches her fists as she looks up at Bryte::

Bryte: Calm down! Just calm down, Tina! I see you down there...all angry! You're full of piss and vinegar...you're huffing and puffing so hard that you're gonna end up popping an implant if your not careful...

::Tina starts down the ramp once more, drawing another pop from the crowd. In the ring, Bryte extends his open palm::

Bryte: WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT...TINA! CALM DOWN!

::Tina stops just as she reaches ringside, again, drawing boos from the crowd. She looks up at Bryte once again::

Bryte: Now honey...I know how you feel! I know that you're still hopelessly in love with me! You're probably down here right now to beg, to plead with me! (in a higher, more "feminine" tone) "Take me back, Chris! Please! Take me back! I'll do anything you ask! I'll scrub your floors! I'll clean your toilettes! I'll clip your toenails! I'll...I'll..." (Tina begins to tear up on the floor) OH GO AHEAD AND CRY!!!!!!

::The crowd boos wildly in the background as Tina looks down at the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks. The chants of "ASSHOLE" start up once again, which, again, don't seem to phase Bryte.::

Bryte: Please! You come out here trying to gain sympathy from all of these idiots in the crowd! You'll get none from me, Tina! Absolutely none! You wanna cry, you wanna bitch about how I you loved me, how I broke your heart, you are more than welcome too! You go right ahead, but Tina...and you look at me when I say this, you stupid bitch...

::The crowd boos as a teary-eyed Tina raises her head and looks up at Bryte::

Bryte: ...you may not like it, but you might as well accept it: there is no way...NO WAY that someone like me could EVER love a disgusting freak like you!

::The crowd boos once more in the background as Tina's body begins to tremble on the floor. She clinches her teeth, and balls up her fists, huffing and puffing as she eyes Bryte intensely...

Tina: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH~!

...suddenly, she charges the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and DRILLING Bryte with a tremendous spear, driving him to the canvas! Tina suddenly begins tearing into Bryte with a series of rapid-fire rights to the head, as a group of officials suddenly storm the ring::

Cole: TINA HAS JUST EXPLODED ON CHRIS BRYTE!

Caboose: Somebody get her outta here! This woman is a sex-crazed freak! Look at her!!!

::The officials manages to pull Tina off of Bryte, but she quickly breaks free from their grasp, going right back at the rookie and ripping away at his clothes. Threat by thread, she rips apart Bryte's 3-piece suit, leaving him lying on the mat in his boxers. Embarrassed, Bryte rolls to the floor and quickly sprints up the ramp, desperately trying to cover up as the fans heckle him. In the ring, Tina tosses the remains of Bryte's suit into the crowd and lets loose another wild scream as the "You gets No Love remix" hits the PA system. Officials try to calm her down as she glares back at the locker room with a look of intensity::

Cole: Fans...Tina has just gotten a measure of revenge on Chris Bryte!

Coach: Yeah, and I've got a feeling that this whole issue between them is far from over!

Cole: My goodness!

::Tina throws her arms into the air, drawing another pop from the crowd as we fade to a rerun of Hang Time::