OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 4/1/04

[Chanel #99]

The OAOAST logo flashes on the screen for a second, before it fades into a montage video of Anglemania III, set to "Wish I May" by Breaking Benjamin. It shows shots of the opening pyro scene, and then the entrances, high points, finishes, and aftermaths of every match on the show, with the video and song fading away to a slowed-down shot of Zack Malibu clutching the OAOAST World Title in his hands after his huge main event win over Calvin Szechstein.

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

“Trust me” by Lucy Woodward plays as we SEE THE LOGO~



The opening pyro explodes, as the crowd at Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Indiana goes wild! The camera gives us several shots of the sold out crowd before finally resting on Sofa Central and Triple C!

MC
WELCOME to your number one stop for the best wrestling in the world...welcome to HeldDOWN~!

COACH
We had some huge developments go down on Sunday night, with the biggest of them all being that Zack Malibu finally overcame every overwhelming obstacle that was in his path, and defeated Calvin Szechstein for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! We'll hear from the new World Champion for the first time since he won the belt tonight!

CABOOSE
We've also got some huge filings going down in the OAOAST offices, as Intense Zone and HeldDOWN~! are now one and the same, and we'll be seeing many of IZ's biggest stars come to HeldDOWN~!, starting tonight. Think about this: The Lightning Crew in HeldDOWN~!? Dan Black in HeldDOWN~!? This is going to be huge!

MC
Speaking of office happenings, HeldDOWN~! is currently without a GM due to Bill Watts and his underlings suspending Northstar's power indefinately. But, we're going to hear the announcement of the new GM....wait, it's right NOW?!?!? Well, I guess we're going to be hearing the big announcement right now!

("Cowboy" Bill Watts then comes to the ring, wearing a grey suit with a big cowboy hat. The fans give him a warm reception. Watts is handed a microphone by Michael Buffer, and then enters the ring.)

WATTS
Thank you, thank you all. This past Sunday, a major coup was revealed to me when I found out that Dan Black, who had been running our IntenseZone brand for us, had sold out to the current HeldDOWN~! General Manager Northstar. Not only did Dan Black not report this transaction to OAOAST Corporate, but he and Northstar took it upon themselves to lay their hands on me in cowardly fashion.

(The fans talk amongst each other, as Watts takes a breath.)

WATTS
Now, this leads me to my business tonight. It is in fact official that IntenseZone and all of it's assets, including talent, staff, and video footage, amongst other things, have been absorbed by HeldDOWN~!, thus once again merging the OAOAST into one sole property.

(Mixed reaction from the fans.)

WATTS
Now that this has taken place, I'd like to make several things clear. One...HeldDOWN~! will still stand as the OAOAST's flagship program, and will continue to take place on Thursday nights. Two, as of right now, all titles will remain active, unless deemed otherwise. Last, but not least, the only man who can make a proclamation regarding a title, a booking, hell, anything regarding a major decision...will NOT be Northstar!

(Fans pop, and the announce team is shocked!)

WATTS
Northstar, you have led HeldDOWN~! to tremendous success, but you did not do it on your own. You began to take credit for the hard work of others, and made rash, impulsive decisions at the expense of locker room morale. Whether it was showing blatant favortism to certain members of the roster, or bringing in major Hollywood players who threatened the livelihood of the company, your current evaluation is not looking pretty. What you did this past Sunday was just the icing on the cake, because this has been a long timing coming. So, as of right now, as it stands, neither Northstar or Dan Black will be in ANY position of power starting RIGHT NOW!

(MAJOR pop~!)

WATTS
That's right, clear out your desk and order new tights, because as of now, no more sitting in an office, sending out SilverStar or Flameout to do your dirty work. You want to continue getting the checks in the mail that allow you to afford body glitter and Diesel jeans, then you'd better up your workrate, son! You are no longer on a higher level than any other roster member, and I'm going to LOVE seeing how well you fit into the normal locker room atmosphere.

CABOOSE
I can't believe this. Watts is a bitter old bastard! He's abusing power!

COLE
Like Northstar never did?

CABOOSE
But that made this show FUN!

WATTS
Now, enough is enough as it pertains to Northstar, because I refuse to ramble on with personal grudges. The reason I am out here was not only to relieve Northstar of his duties, but to say that OAOAST Corporate has had a choice to make this past week. With Northstar no longer in power, who would be his successor? Would Dan Black resume control? Hell no. Would a former star make his grand return and take the reins? Not this time. What OAOAST Corporate has decided on is that a new leader should be placed in as an overall Director of Authority position. The final say will be made by this man at all times, and only in dire circumstance would Corporate feel the need to step in. We've opted not to go with any current or former roster members for fear of politics coming into play, and tensions arising. However, I'd be lying if I didn't say that Northstar was somewhat of an inspiration to this choice, as his unpredictability led to the OAOAST recapturing some of that "random magic" from the glory days. This is why the man that we've chosen is not a former wrestler, competitor, or even a contracted staff member of the OAOAST or of any other wrestling organization. This will prove that he is coming in without bias, and that no roster member will need to feel shortchanged or held down, for lack of a better term. The man in question is a man with experience and authority, as his fiestiness has made him one of the most lovable characters in television history. This man is one to be reckoned with, and will now oversee OAOAST operations. Ladies and gentlemen, OAOAST roster and staff, and people watching at home, I present to you the OAOAST Director of Authority...
























...MR. ABE VIGODA~!

The theme song from "Barney Miller" starts up, and the fans (well, the ones who are old enough to know, or at least the ones who watch TVLand) pop loudly, as the man who was best known as "Fish" slowly walks down the aisle!

CABOOSE
What the hell is this? Watts put that walking corpse in charge of us!?

COACH
Hey man, he's a young 83!

CABOOSE
Are you kidding? I think Watts put him here hoping he'd die on the air for shock value.


Vigoda, clad in a black suit with a red tie, climbs up the steps and into the ring, where Bill Watts grants him the microphone.

COLE
OK, quiet everyone, he's about to speak.

VIGODA
Thank you everyone, for you kind ovation. Mr. Watts, thank you for giving me this position, because Lord knows I've been sitting at home long enough. Now before anyone says that I'm not capable of this job, I'll have you know that I've watched much wrestling in my day. Of course, with that logic they could have also put me in porno movies, but heaven forbid I get cut a break like that. Now...where was I? Oh yes. As my first duty as the new Director of Authority, I would like to direct this to the current 24/7 Champion, a beautiful young lady by the name of Crystal. Of course, 55 is still young compared to me. Anyhow, Crystal, seeing as how you are the 24/7 Champion, I would like to inform you of a new stipulation regarding that title. Being that a pinfall or submission could take place virtually anywhere at anytime as long as that title is active, I have hired a camera crew to begin following the 24/7 Champion around to pick up any possible action. Think of it as our own version of Survivor, minus the naked gay men.

CABOOSE
Hear that Cole? Might as well resign right now.

VIGODA
That's my first act, and my only act, for right now. I've got to sit down, because these spotlights make me feel like I'm locked in a tanning bed, and the only time people are looking at my skin color these days is to make sure it's not blue. I will, however, be going over both the roster as well as the current title situations, and promise you more changes in the coming weeks. That's all for now folks, but I look forward to doing right by you all. Thank you.

The "Barney Miller" theme hits again, as Abe Vigoda shakes hands with Bill Watts before waving to the crowd, and exiting the ring. Watts and Vigoda share some words in the aisle as they head to the back, and HeldDOWN~! cuts to commercial.
 

[Chanel #99]

COACH
We're back, and...wow. Just wow. I cannot believe what we just saw.

MC
Abe flippin' Vigoda is OUR new Director of Authority...what's next, Jackie Gayda interviewing Hoff backstage?

The cameras cut to the backstage garage area, and a cheer goes up from the fans as we see Hoff walking into the arena! Dressed in his street clothes, a pair of sunglasses on his face, Hoff walks with a purpose...but is quickly stopped by Jackie Gayda, microphone in hand.

JACKIE
Hoff, hi! Um, everybody wants to know -- how do you feel?

Hoff looks at Jackie slowly, then looks down as he slowly pulls his sunglasses off. Hoff looks up at the ceiling, then back to Jackie. He breathes deeply.

HOFF
How do I feel...

Hoff cocks his head slightly as a small "Hoff" chant breaks out over the arena. A half-smile creeps onto his face.

HOFF
How do I feel...let me tell you, Jackie. There's a lot of things I could feel right now. I could feel ashamed...embarassed. I could feel like a loser.

The fans boo.

HOFF
I could feel pain. Hell, I do feel pain. I feel a lot of things right now. But most of all, I feel....good.

The fans begin to cheer again. Hoff smiles wider now.

HOFF
Because you see, Jackie, last Sunday I went into Anglemania with something to prove. I went in with a chip on my shoulder. And in that ring I gave everything I had. I gave myself to the match. And even though things didn't go as planned...

Here Hoff pauses, smirks, and the fans cheer louder.

HOFF
When these fans did what they did to me, when they let me know that they cared and respected me, it was like that chip fell right off my shoulder.

The fans go wild. Jackie smiles, and Hoff smiles back at her before continuing.

HOFF
I don't know what's coming next for me. I don't even know what's coming yet tonight. But there was a fan last Sunday who had a very prophetic sign, and that sign said, "Hoff is the future." And I believe that.

The fans go BANANA and NUT all at once!

HOFF
I believe that down to my very soul. So yeah, Jackie...

Hoff brushes Jackie's cheek and grins.

HOFF
...cutie...

Jackie smiles wide and blushes.

HOFF
I guess you could say I feel....good.

The chant of "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" swells over the arena as Hoff gives Jackie one last, long look, and walks away. Jackie looks in the direction Hoff walked away in for a loooong moment, before snapping back to reality and looking into the camera.

JACKIE (blushing)
Michael, Coach, Caboose...back to you.

The camreas cut back to 'da SC, where Caboose has an absolutely disgusted look on his face.

CABOOSE
I cannot believe this guy.

COACH
What?

CABOOSE
Oh, come on. First he's Mr. Badass, now he's Goody-Two Shoes? Whatever.

COLE
He's trying to change, Caboose!

CABOOSE
Whatever. And don't get me started on that despicable display with poor Jackie Gayda.

COACH
I think she kind of liked it, 'Booze! And what's the matter, don't you like the ladies?

CABOOSE
That's NOT IT at all, I'm just--

COACH
Jealous?

COLE
Oh, TAG~!

Coach dances in his seat as Caboose fumes

COLE
--Folks, we've just gotten word from the back that tonight, right here on HeldDOWN, we will see Hoff take on the brand-new 24/7 champion, Crystal, for the title!

COACH
CRYSTAL!!!!!

COLE
Coach?

COACH
CRYSTAL!!!!!!

COLE
I think he's still a little excited over Crystal's big win at Anglemania.

COACH
CRYSTAL!!!!!!!!

CABOOSE
Well, obviously.

COLE
We've got a lot more action ahead--

COACH
Yeah and CRYSTAL! LIVE! TONIGHT!!!!

COLE
That's huge, but up next on Held...

(Out of nowhere, The Minions (Michael and Nathaniel) come out to the ring, without entrance music and in t-shirts and jeans as opposed to their usual altar boy robes. They then grab the house microphone from Michael Buffer.)

MICHAEL
Excuse us, but we have something we would like to get across...

COACH
These guys TALK?!?!?!?!?

MICHAEL
Sunday night, we got our rear ends handed to us by a couple of guys who, quite frankly, we don't like. But, after the great series of matches we had with them, we have no choice but to respect them. (hands mic to Nathaniel)

NATHANIEL
So...Global Party Exchange, get your butts on out here! We have something we want to say to you!

("Make Her Say" starts up...but suddenly, the PA system scratches, and the lights go out. The lights come back up, and both Minions are laid out in the center of the ring, with Nathaniel's forehead bleeding. Saint Andrew and Gibraltar are standing above them, and Gibraltar throws down a bent chair that he had in his hand, looking as if he had come in and bashed both Minions over the head with it. Andrew has the microphone.)

ANDREW
All I've done for you...and THIS is the thanks I get? I picked you two up off of the street, and I gave you a place of shelter! I gave you two a home when your drunken, abusive father wouldn't let you back into your own! I gave you two something to believe in, back when your lives were so hectic that you didn't believe in anything! Most importantly of all, I gave you two a family, back when the people that were supposed to fill that role were too busy in-fighting and shunning you two!

MC
This is pretty deep stuff here.

ANDREW
I brought you two under my wing, and made it one of my missions in life to make life good for you two, as long as you followed my word. So, what did you do to thank me for my tutelage and leadership? After the grueling match that you two had on Sunday night, you chose to show respect to two lowly, gluttonous, disrespectful, good-for-nothing, blasphemous sinners! You shook their hands like they were worth something! Then, you came out here tonight and broke one of my golden rules: thou shall not speak unless spoken to!

COACH
I wish Saint Andrew would follow that rule!

ANDREW
I don't know where I went wrong with you two. What I do know is that you two have been excommunicated from the church for life!

(A group of trainers and referees come to the ring to help Nathaniel and Michael out, but Gibraltar charges towards them to keep them out)

ANDREW
Gibraltar, it's okay...back up, let them clear our sanctuary of the sinners.

(Gibraltar walks back to Andrew, and Nathaniel and Michael get helped to the back)

ANDREW
Now that I have that out of the way, I would like to shine the perennial light on the man in this ring that truly deserves it, and that's....ME! Why? I found a merely self-destructive, albeit gigantic man and turned him into the single most monstrous force that this promotion has ever seen! On Sunday night, Gibraltar hit the apex of his career thus far, and sent the man who was supposedly the most destructive monster in the history of this company in Brock Auustin, and sent him and that fat load Rick Heyross packing!

COACH
That's merely speculation, but they aren't here tonight. But, Gibraltar did win decisively at Anglemania III.

ANDREW
Therefore, it is safe to say that Gibraltar is now the best monster in the business...

("Black" starts playing over the PA system, and out comes Hoff to a sizeable ovation. Hoff quickly walks to the ring, and pulls a microphone out of the pocket of his jeans.)

HOFF
So, I hear you out here talking about how Gibraltar is supposedly the "best big man in the business", and how he is supposedly "the most destructive force anyone's ever seen", eh?

ANDREW
He's definately more monstrous than you!

HOFF
(softly laughs to himself) I swear, I just heard you say that the big galoof standing behind you is bigger, badder, and better than me.

ANDREW
That's because I did, you simpleton!

HOFF
That makes you an idiot. See, I don't like idiots. And what do I do to people I don't like? That's right, I beat the hell out of them!

Hoff drops his microphone, and clotheslines Andrew out of his boots. He goes to put the boots to Andrew, but Gibraltar comes from behind and delivers a knee to Hoff's back. Gibraltar then forearms Hoff in the back of the head as he turns him around to send him off to the ropes. Gibraltar goes for a clothesline as Hoff bounces off the ropes, but Hoff ducks it. Gibraltar turns around and takes a big step backwards as Hoff charges at him, and clotheslines Gibraltar over the top rope! Gibraltar lands on his feet, and Andrew, holding his chest in pain, walks over to order Gibraltar to the locker room. Gibraltar charges onto the apron for a second before listening to Andrew and going to the backstage area, keeping his eyes locked on Hoff during his entire walk up the aisle.

MC
We thought we were done with feuding monsters on HeldDOWN~!

COACH
Just like with Brock and Gibraltar; for the sake of my own life, I hope that I am nowhere near the collision point when this explosion finally happens!

CABOOSE
All I know is that I hope that Gibraltar wipes the earth of this blasphemous glutton!

MC
Since when did you get religious?

CABOOSE
Shut up, you buffoon!

COACH
Both of you need to shut up; more hD~! in three!

[Chanel #99]

CABOOSE
We're back on HeldDOWN~!, and I think we've just see exactly how ballsy Hoff can be.

COACH
Standing up to a man as big and mean as Gibraltar does take some guts.

COLE
Speaking of ballsy, how ballsy will the superstars of the OAOAST be come April 25th, as we present our next huge Pay-Per-View spectacular, The Year of Living Angleously, which already has its main event signed, as for the first time in history, OAOAST World Champion Zack Malibu will go head-to-head with former X Champion and current Totally Endorsed member Sly "The Sly" Sommers!

COACH
I cannot wait for that match, or that entire show!

COLE
And now let’s take it to Jackie, who has one of our newest superstars in the back. Jackie?

*The camera cuts back to Jackie Gayda standing backstage with “Reckless” Drek Stone. Drek begins to fix the jacket of his seemingly-expensive Armani suit as Jackie is speaking to the home viewers. Giving a smirk to the camera, he pulls a comb out of his front pocket and starts to methodically run it through his hair. Finally, once he’s finished grooming, he clasps both hands in front of himself*

JACKIE
Thanks, Michael. Folks, I’m back here with one of the newest acquisitions to OAOAST, Drek Stone. Mr. Stone, could you tell me….

DREK
Whoa, whoa, whoa…..don’t you worry your pretty, little face about introductions. Jackie, I have this one. Why don’t you walk your cute, little butt out of here and leave this to a man. Okay, toots?

JACKIE
Whatever.

*Jackie leaves the backstage scene*

DREK *smirking*
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I warn you. Don’t think your television set has decided to begin playing tricks on you. In all reality, it’s actually telling you the truth. It's not impossible! There CAN be one man that is completely flawless. There CAN be one man that is the utter Total Package. And yes, people, there CAN be one man that is absolutely faultless…a Greek God if you will. And, in case you didn’t catch the name the first time, let me mention it again. This example of perfection goes by the name of DREK STONE!

COACH
God, what an ego

CABOOSE
You call that an ego, Coach? I call it confidence!

DREK
So…..I’m sure everyone here now has one burning question on their mind. Something that they are just begging to hear an answer for. “Why, Drek? Why are you here?” Why am I here, you ask? Because……as a professional wrestler…..I have an obligation to be here. Look at the statistics. Before making my way into the OAOAST, I was the Heavyweight Champion of three different federations. THREE! These companies were nothing before I arrived! However, once I became the representative of these federations, business absolutely skyrocketed. Arenas were being sold out, the companies were taking in truckfuls of money…..hell, David Letterman and Jay Leno were having bidding wars with one another to get me on their show! Every single time I became the champion, I was a runaway promotional machine. I brought those companies to heights they never reached before, and heights they would never reach again……which is why I am now here. I feel obligated to do the same to the OAOAST. To remove it from the status of being an absolute joke and actually making it something. Who the hell is going to do that? Alfdogg? Calvin Szechstein? Zack Malibu?! Jokes. All of them. An embarrassment to the sport, and I actually feel myself getting less talented as I stand in the same arena as them. I need to fix this mess. I need to do what I have done three times before. And you people….and these guys in the back…..they might not welcome me now. But soon, they will thank me. They will get on their hands and knees, and KISS my freshly-polished shoes. I will do what needs to be done. With my unsurpassed athletic skills and absolutely flawless physical features, I will be the epitome of the OAOAST savior. You all WILL thank me later.

COLE
Who asked for this guy to save the OAOAST? We don’t need him. The federation is better than ever!

CABOOSE
Oh stop it, Cole. It’s becoming a sinking ship, and Drek Stone is here to save it. Thank GOD!

DREK
Finally……wait, wait, folks, hold on a second.

*Out of the corner of his eye, Drek sees Simon Stone walking towards the locker room.*

DREK
Hey Simon……….SIMON……..come over for a second.

*Simon Stone walks up to Reckless with a smile on his face*.

DREK
Don’t tell me…..are you Simon Stone? THE Simon Stone?! You can’t POSSIBLY be the Simon Stone I’ve heard so much about!

SIMON
Heh, yes sir, I am.

DREK
Oh, this is quite an honor. It truly is. You see, I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time.

SIMON
Really? Thanks! It truly means a lot to me to hear that. But do you mind if I ask why?

DREK
Oh, no problem. See, I’ve been watching OAOAST programming off-and-on for the past couple of months now. And you…..YOU, friend…..were one of the people that caught my eye. And you know why that is?

SIMON
*shakes head* No…..

DREK
Because…..you’ve made a complete MOCKERY out of my name!

*Drek Stone plants a hard punch across the cheek of Simon Stone. Simon immediately crumbles to the ground, not expecting such a cheap shot. Drek grabs Simon’s hair with one hand, and begins to punch him in the face with the other. He quickly picks Simon off the ground, gets a solid grasp of his head, and absolutely RAMS it into a nearby wall.*

COLE
Oh my god, what the hell was THAT for?!

COACH
This makes me sick!

*Simon has absolutely no idea where he is at this point, but this doesn’t stop Drek at all. Once again, he picks Simon up off the floor. This time, he walks with him for a short distance before stopping in front of the locker room doors. He grabs Simon’s arm and gives him a VICIOUS irish-whip into the steel doors. Upon impact, the doors slams open and Simon is rolled into the locker room. Drek follows him and quickly picks up the clearly-in-pain Simon Stone.*

DREK
You son-of-a-bitch! Do you realize what you’ve DONE?! You nearly RUINED the wrestling name of Stone. Do you realize that?! DO YOU?! Thank God there are people like me to save it! But you…..you’re worthless!!

*Drek grabs Simon by the back of his head and smoothly slams it into a nearby locker. After nearly five different collisions, he lets Simon prop himself up on one of the lockers. He grabs a closeby metal folding chair and begins to chuckle to himself. Finally, he pulls the chair back and absolutely DRILLS Simon in the head with it. Finally, Simon slumps to the ground. He is an absolute, bloody mess.*

COACH
Why did he have to do that? Huh?! People SIT on those chairs!!

*Drek Stone finally stands over Simon, looking at the damage he has just caused.*

DREK
Simon, realize this. There is only room for ONE Stone here in the OAOAST. I don’t want to see you SOIL my name anymore. Do you realize the damage you could have caused?! How you might have almost GROUNDED the shooting rocket that has been my career?! It won’t happen again! I’ll make SURE OF IT!!

*He makes sure to give Simon a few more extra stomps, just to add insult to injury.*

COLE
That was disgusting. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING what he just did to Simon Stone.

CABOOSE
Hey now, let’s not jump to premature conclusions. I mean….Simon WAS ruining the name of Stone.

COACH
Somebody needs to teach this Drek Stone something about respect here in the OAOAST.

*Drek Stone starts to walk out of the locker room until he stops in front of a mirror. He slowly pulls out a comb, and once again begins to methodically run it through his hair. After combing his hair, he makes sure to fix his jacket and verify that both sides are even. Finally, he takes a long look at the time on his silver watch and silently laughs to himself. He winks at the reflection staring back at him in the mirror, and leaves the locker room and an unconscious Simon Stone.*

COLE
He actually took time to fix himself after that brutal attack just now. My god, what a despicable ego!

COACH
Correction. What a despicable human being.

CABOOSE
What a great set of hair!
Backstage, ABE VIGODA~! walks down a hallway, and stares at the door on his left, marked "D.O.A. Abe Vigoda".

VIGODA
DOA? I haven't even better here a night and people are wishing death on me?

Josh Matthews, who is a few feet away, comes over.

JOSH~!
No, Mr. Vigoda, it means Director of Authority. Here, go on in and sit down.

VIGODA
Ah, thank you young man. Are you my coffee boy?

JOSH~!
Uh...no sir, I'm Josh Matthews. You know, TOUGH ENOUGH? The Stone Cold Pimp of the Nation?

VIGODA
Pimp? Then where's your funny hat?

JOSH~!
I...uh...

VIGODA
Nevermind. Look, I've got some work to do, so you'll need to excuse me. I...now what the hell is this?

Abe reaches down, and pulls a spoon off his seat.

VIGODA
Is this your doing? Some type of prank?

JOSH~!
Why no sir, I...

VIGODA
Are you saying you want to spoon me?

Josh, most likely disgusted by the image of spooning Abe Vigoda, can't even respond, as he runs out of the room covering his mouth, holding back his lunch.

VIGODA
Heh. Kids these days.

We then cut to a shot in the back as Peter Knight, with bandaged nose and black eye to go along with his other aches and pains, walks through the corridors. The crowd cheers him out of respect for his performance at Anglemania.

COLE:
Here’s a man you have to take your hat off to.

CABOOSE:
Why? Have you forgotten that he LOST on Sunday?

COLE:
Knight gave it his all in that match, but just couldn’t hang on long enough against Sly Sommers.

CABOOSE:
Yeah, that’s kind of why I’m not exactly erecting monuments to the guy right now.

COACH:
Is he headed out here?

He does not. Instead, Knight stops in front of a door, lets out a sigh, and steps inside the room. As the door shuts behind him, the camera pans over to reveal a plaque reading “OaOast G.M.: Northstar.” The door clicks shut as we fade to the break.

*Commercial*

[Chanel #99]

COACH:
Welcome back to HeldDOWN folks. During the break, we were told that Northstar summoned Peter Knight to his office for a “little talk about Knight’s role in the New OaOast”, as his assistant described it.

CABOOSE:
Maybe he’s going to give him a ribbon for that spectacular performance while losing a world title shot, eh Cole? Like those “Honorable Mention” ribbons you got at the science fair as a kid?

The scene switches back to the office door.

COLE:
Well, there’s the office……

Suddenly, the door flings open with a loud *BANG*, kicked open by Knight’s good leg. Knight angrily slams it behind him and walks back towards the dressing room. As he walks, Josh Matthews runs up behind him, microphone in hand.

MATTHEWS:
PK! PK!! What did Northstar have to say to you?

Knight twirls around and snatches him up by the collar, lifting Matthews a good inch off the floor.

PK:
I really don’t want to talk about it right now. But even if I DID, I wouldn’t talk with a scrawny piece of shit like YOU! Now get the hell out of my way, unless you want one of THIS *points at nose* and two of THESE *points at black eye*.

Knight releases Josh, and pushes him away, continuing his walk. Josh fixes his glasses and smoothes out his shirt.

MATTHEWS:
Guess it’s too late to tell him who is waiting for him in the locker room.

We switch to another camera, which (while staying at a safe distance) follows Knight to the locker room. Knight opens the door, only to find the room dark.

KNIGHT:
*Sigh* If this is someone’s idea of a joke, he picked the wrong time to do it.

PK flips the light switch on, and blinks in surprise. The camera pans over to discover the source of his surprise: Parka. The crowd pops loudly in surprise at the sight of PK’s injured tag partner.

COACH:
YO~! Look who it is!!

PK, finally cracking a smile, walks up to his partner and shakes his hand, following it up with a MANLY~! hug.

KNIGHT:
Hey, man, this is unexpected. Sorry I haven’t kept in touch, I’ve just been focusing so much on my Anglemania match. So, how’s the rehab going?

PARKA:
Great, I’ve finally gotten rid of those damn crutches, and all I need is a brace. I’m still a few months away from getting back into the ring, but everything is on schedule. I actually was there Sunday, but I couldn’t get to see you since they took you to the hospital right after the match. Eddy’s at some retreat for motivational speakers: “Finding Your Gee”…”Lee”….”Bee”….hell, I don’t know, so I decided to see how everyone was doing. Great match on Sunday, PK, that’s a performance that gets people’s attention.

KNIGHT:
Yeah, everyone’s been saying that to me, but all the “great performances” in the world won’t get me anywhere if I can’t win a goddamn match. Not that I’m going to have many chances now *Grabs a towel and whips it against his locker.*

PARKA:
Wait, what do you mean by that?

KNIGHT:
I just had a meeting with the Effeminate One. It seems that Northstar doesn’t think I’m at my best of my abilities right now, so he’s taking me off the active roster for the month of April so I can heal up and “like, not suck anymore.” I’m off the TV shows, and I won’t have a match at Living Angleously, no matter who I challenge.

The crowd boos at that announcement.

PARKA:
What? That little power mad gnome, I’ll go to his office right now and…..

KNIGHT:
No. He’s right.

PARKA:
What?

KNIGHT:
Come on, Parka, YOU saw the match on Sunday. I quit. I tapped out. I told Sly that I couldn’t take it anymore. I DO suck. I went out there in front of millions of people and showed that I couldn’t get it done when it counted, when I told them that I could. Back home, when I did my fighting in that old warehouse on Friday nights, I took the punishment just as much as I dished it out, but I was always able to climb out of bed Saturday morning and get right back to it. Waking up Monday morning and barely being able to turn my head to look at the clock told me more than any person could.

PARKA:
Uh huh. I recognize this.

KNIGHT:
What?

PARKA:
Remember when I lost my mask a while back? I was just like you are now. Eddy told me to go back to my roots. I know, it sounds like some hokey “Movie of the Week” plotline, but I swear it worked like a charm. I saw people I hadn’t seen in years, places that reminded me of who I was, like that gym I trained in. It was a huge motivational tool for me, and I felt better right away, like myself again. I think you should head back to Fall River for a few days, get your bearings. It’s not like you have much to do here now, huh? *Smirks* Huh?

KNIGHT:
*Chuckles* Ok, ok, smartass. But I’m going alone. You keep taking care of that knee, and besides, where I’m going isn’t exactly the place for a guy with a bum knee and a La Parka mask *chuckles.* Let’s get out of here.

Parka and Knight, almost limping in synch, leave the locker room.

COLE:
How about that, an unofficial Dream Machines reunion right here tonight!

COACH:
I hope PK has a good trip home.

CABOOSE:
I hope they lose his luggage. And his return ticket.
MC
Right now...
[Cue: "SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT"!]

The crowd pops as CWM shows up onstage, dressed in his usual tattered jeans and old NIRVANA T-Shirt. He makes his way down to the ring amidst a bit of a mixed reaction. We're got a smarky crowd here tonight who must have gotten wind of CWM's rumblings of retirement. He slides into the ring and is handed a mic and signals for his music to be cut.

CWM
Well, sounds like the news has already spread. . .

COLE
I can't believe it . . . are the rumors true? Is CWM leaving us?

CABOOSE
Even if he did, he'd be back.

CWM
I came out here tonight to clear the air. Recent events have left me a little agitated with things. I'm here to say some things to some people and then I'm gone. I'm done. I'm finished. I --

[CUE: "Do You Call My Name?" by Ra]

COLE
Wait, what? That's SpiderPoet's theme!

CABOOSE
Do you even watch the shows? He changed his name you idiot!

(James Cone comes walking out when the rock part of the song kicks in. We cut to CWM, who looks . . . annoyed. Cone comes making his way down the ramp, looking at CWM with something like sadness. Cone climbs into the ring and is handed a mic from a ring official as his music dies out.)

CONE
C-Dub . . . bro. We've seen some rough times around here but there's no reason to quit. There's no reason to leave, man. I apologize for interrupting your 'goodbye' speech but I --

(CWM throws a hand up in Cone's face, cutting him off)

CWM
Who are you?

CONE
What? You know me, dude. We've ran the roads together, man. Back when SpiderPoet was just face paint and a newbie's dream.

CWM
No. I mean who the hell do you think you are?

CONE
I --

CWM
I don't care about your name or your titles or your history. I'm out here trying to say goodbye and you come out here interrupting me? Who do you think you are?

CONE
C-Dub . . . I'm your friend. I've been your friend for a long time, man. Even if we never worked together much here. You took me under your wing, you helped me make it.

CWM
So what? You think you've made it far enough to just come out here and think you can fix everything? You think you're worthy to stand in the same ring as me? You think you're on the level to interrupt THE MAN with some kind of pitying attempt to bring me back?

CONE
It . . . it's not about levels, man. You're a legend. I'm not you. But you are my friend. That is a level we share. I --

CWM
(Steps in close so they are almost nose to nose) I don't share a (bleep)ing thing with you. You self righteous piece of (Network Edit). You haven't earned the right to be out here right now. You haven't earned the right to try and direct my professional and personal life. You've got five seconds to clear this ring and not look back.

CONE
C-Dub --

CWM
One.

CONE
Bro, it's me --

CWM
Two.

CONE
(Throws the mic down and takes a step back)

CWM
Three.

CONE
(But remains, standing straight, staring CWM in the face)

CWM
Four . . .

CONE
(Shakes his head)

CWM
Five.

CONE
(Shakes his head, indicating that he isn't going to budge)

CWM
(Turns away for a moment, perhaps having reconsidered his threat -- NO! POLLYCUTTER! CONE IS DOWN! CWM throws the mic down, spits at Cone, and leaves, his music being drowned in a chorus of boos)

COLE
Oh my -- Caboose did you see that?

CABOOSE
You mean you did? You were paying attention?

COLE
CWM just nailed JAMES CONE with a POLLYCUTTER! I can't -- wow!

CABOOSE
Well, Cone had it coming. Don't interrupt a legend when he's on the stick

COLE
What a way to return to heldDOWN~! for JAMES CONE! We'll be right back!
*we see Ryan Smith walking backstage. He walks by the new champion Zack Malibu.*

SMITH
Hey Zack....good job Sunday night.

MALIBU
You to Ryan. I'm glad someone finally pinned that cocky punk Damaramu.

SMITH(looking down)
You know Zack I get this feeling it's not over......it'll never be over.

MALIBU
Don't worry about it.....you can handle it man.

SMITH
I know. Hey thanks Zack...catch ya later!

*Smith continues to walk as he turns the corner and runs right into the Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua*

CUBAN WALL
What do we have here? It's Ryan Smith.....good job last night Smith....good job.

SMITH
Umm...thanks guys. Welcome to the show.

CUBAN
Yeah I am new to this show.....and I do feel that I need to make a name for myself. Wouldn't you agree Mr. Boricua?

BORICUA
Yeah.

CUBAN
So Smith you're one of the hottest new stars on this show, especially after your victory last night. So what I'm going to do is have a match with you.

SMITH
You want me? You got it pal.

CUBAN
You're damn right I got it. I'm going to do what Damaramu couldn't do and cripple Ryan Smith!

SMITH
Good luck with that. But if a monster like Damaramu couldn't do it.......what makes a fat sack of shit like you think you can do it!?

*the fans cheer in approval of Smith's insult*

CUBAN
Funny........*Cuban starts to walk off then spins around with his chain wrapped around his fist and lays Smith out with a hard punch to the face.* Smart ass. You'd better get ready for the match. I'll see you after the break. I'm going to whip your ass all over this arena.

*COMMERCIAL BREAK*

[Chanel #99]

CABOOSE
Question: how did you get from the locker room to back at the desk so fast, Jonathan?

COACH
Who needs reasons when you have a time machine.....oh, we're back on air? Sorry about that!

COLE
We're back ladies and gentleman and we've just got a big match signed that is going on now!

COACH
That's right. The Cuban Wall wants to make a name for himself on Helddown! and he's doing it against Ryan Smith!

COLE
The guys already made a name for himself! We know who he is from IZ! Smith needs to rest. I don't know if his body can take another match after that war he went through last night!

CABOOSE
Well we'll find out guys!

*The fans all stand and boo as "LIGHTENING CREW!" is yelled through the arena. "No Chance in Hell* starts up as we see Cuban Wall's entrance video play. Smoke fills the entrance way as Cuban Wall walks out accompanied by Mr. Boricua. Wall pumps his fist at the sky as the entire arena boo's at him.*

ANNOUNCER
Making his way to the ring accompanied by Mr. Boricua! From Havana Cuba weighing in at 285 pounds........THE CUBAN WALL!!!!

COLE
First night on Helddown for the official muscle of the Lightening Crew. Man these guys have been all over the show. They're really looking to take over aren't they?

COACH
Well they were the hottest thing on IZ so why can't they be the hottest thing on Helddown?

*Wall is now in the ring as he stands on the turnbuckle shadow boxing while fans continue to yell various jeers at him. A "Wall Sold Me Bad Cigars" sign catches his attention as he flips the fan holding it off. Suddenly the crowd ERUPTS as the OU Fight Song begins to play. Smith walks out in his MMA ring attire and a has a towel to his forehead soaking up the blood from the chain shot. The fans continue to go crazy as Smith walks to the ring with a pissed off look on his face eyeing The Wall with murderous intent.*

ANNOUNCER
And his opponent! From Norman Oklahoma! Weighing in at 228 pounds......RYAN SMITH!!!!!!!

*The fans continue to cheer as Smith stops half way down the aisle and drops the towel. Blood is soaked into it and into the front of his blonde hair. Smith points at Cuban Wall who asks Smith to bring it. Smith erupts and speeds into the ring. Wall immediately goes for a clothesline but Smith is to quick ducking under and hitting the opposite ropes coming flying back in with a clothesline. But The Cuban Wall refuses to go down! Smith hits the opposite ropes and goes for another clothesline but Wall remains on his feet. Smith hits the ropes again and comes flying back in with a high flipping dropkick that takes Wall off of his feet and to the mat as the fans erupt!*

COLE
Smith out of the gate taking the big monster down!

*Smith goes for a quick cover!

1!


2!

Easy Kick out!

Smith jumps to his feet and starts laying some boots in on Cuban Wall. Wall just seems to ignore them and tries to stand but Smith is to tenacious as he begins to deliver hard boxer like punches to the face of Cuban Wall. Wall is staggered as Smith backs him into the corner. Smith begins to deliver some hard chops and then runs to the opposite corner. He comes back in going for the Stinger Splash but Wall quickly moves! Smith hits the top turnbuckle chest first and stays there as Wall takes a moment to collect himself. He turns to see Smith hanging on the top rope and delivers a hard kick to the stomach that bounces Smith off the rope and onto the top rope where he straddles it. The fans boo as Smith appears to be in a bad way now. Wall hits the ropes quickly and comes back with a clothesline that knocks Smith off the top rope and to the outside. Wall tries to go out after him but the referee pulls him back and begins admonishing him. This gives Mr. Boricua a chance to lay the boots to Smith before tossing him back into the ring. The ref turns to ask Boricua if he interfered but he just holds his hands over his head and looks the other way.*

COLE
This is two on one! That isn't fair!

COACH
Don't you know? When you have a problem with one member of the lightening crew....you have a problem with all of them!

*Smith rolls back into the ring as Wall walks over and pulls him up. Smith leans on the ropes while Wall gives him a good pounding with hard jabs to the stomach and face. Wall pulls him out of the ropes and picks him up bringing Smith back down with a hard powerslam. Smith gasps for air when all 285 pounds come down on him but Wall is not done. He is quickly to his feet hitting the ropes and coming back in with a legdrop bringing it right down on Smith's face. Instead of going for the cover though he chooses to punish Smith a little more. Wall pulls him up delivering an elbow to Smith's face as he stands that staggers him. Wall grabs him around the throat preparing for the chokeslam! Smith tries to fight out but Wall yanks him forward right into his fist giving him a good shot to the face that re-opens the cut he got from the chain and from Damaramu last night. Smith goes high as Wall lifts him by the throat before crashing him back to the mat. Wall goes for the cover!

1!!!!!!!!!!!!!



2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Smith manages to kick out! Wall is frustrated!*

COLE
The fans like the fact that Smith is still alive. I didn't think that he was going to be able to kick out of that one. Wall is really taking it to him and he's bleeding everywhere!

COACH
That chain reopened the cut that he recieved from Damaramu last night and now it's flowing.

*Wall pulls Smith up and nonchalantly tosses him into the corner before running in with a hard avalanche! Wall keeps his weight on Smith and begins to deliver hard knees to Smith's stomach before choking him out with his foot. The ref steps in pulling Wall back and admonishing him. However while the ref's back is turned Mr. Boricua jumps on the apron and begins to choke Smith out with the tag rope! Boricua drops to the floor as the ref turns back to find Smith falling forward out of the corner right into the arms of Cuban Wall who catches him and spins him around with a belly to belly suplex! The Wall stands pulling Smith up and sends him into the ropes. Smith comes back right into Wall's waiting elbow! Smith doubles over as Wall yanks his arms up and drops him hard with a double arm DDT! Wall goes for the cover!


1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SMITH KICKS OUT! THE FANS GO NUTS!*

COLE
Ryan Smith is not out yet! Not at all!

*Cuban Wall curses to himself as he stands up and pulls Smith back up. Wall delivers a fast bodyslam before climbing to the top rope!*

COACH
He's going for the flying headbutt.....or splash.....or legdrop.......or well.......HE CAN DO ANYTHING FROM UP THERE!

*Wall is indeed going for the flying headbutt as he comes flying off of the top rope with his arms outstretched into.....NOTHING! SMITH ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! The fans explode as Smith rolls to the ropes to try to regain his bearings. The ref goes over to check on Wall as Smith is helping himself up on the ropes. Suddenly Boricua is on the apron! He runs in for a clothesline but Smith ducks! Smith jumps on the second turnbuckle and flies back with a dropkick that takes Boricua off the apron! The fans go nuts as Smith punches himself in the face a couple of times and then screams as he's ready to do this! The Cuban Wall stands only to be met by a hard Ryan Smith right hand! Smith gives him a couple of more good shots before sending him into the ropes! Smith ducks behind him and goes for a german suplex! Smith tries but Wall is fighting it. Smith lets go and begins to deliver hard elbows to the back of Wall's head! Smith grabs back ahold of him and hoists him high dropping him on his head with a german suplex! Smith heads for the top rope! Wall is down as Smith heads up while the fans go nuts! Camera's flash as Smith comes flying off the top rope with a picture perfect elbow!*

COLE
Flying elbow! He and his rival Damaramu both do that move to perfection!

CABOOSE
Yes it's almost scary how similar they look doing it...........

*Smith rolls over for the cover!

1!!!!!!!!!!


2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO THE CUBAN WALL KICKS OUT! THE FANS BOO!
*

COLE
Smith thought he had him there!

*Smith delivers a couple of backhand shots before whipping Wall hard into the corner. Smith hits the other rope and comes flying in......HITTING THE STINGER SPLASH! Wall is dazed as he falls out of the corner right into Smith's waiting arms.......Smith manages to get the big man up for a running powerslam......and he connects! Smith for the cover!

1!!!!!!!!!!!!!



2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



NO THE CUBAN WALL KICKS OUT YET AGAIN! THE CROWD AND SMITH ARE BESIDE THEMSELVES!

Smith is quickly back to his feet. He goes over to pull The Cuban Wall up and is lowblowed! The ref didn't see it! Wall stands up and delivers a high knee to the doubled over Smith's face before putting his head between his legs and hoisting him up on his shoulders! The Wallbreaker! The Wall drops Smith hard with the Wallbreaker!*

COLE
It's over!

COACH
Nobody gets up from that!

*The Cuban Wall goes for the cover.


1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!









3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!










SMITH GOT HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE! THE ARENA EXPLODES! WALL AND BORICUA ARE BESIDES THEMSELVES!*

COLE
HE KICKED OUT!

COACH
He got his foot on the rope! He's still alive!

*The ref begins to go crazy as Mr. Boricua jumps up on the apron pulling Smith up and holding him around the throat as he just lays there limp and barely awake. The ref begins to admonish Wall as he gets his chain and wraps it around his fist. Suddenly Wall shoves the referee down and runs at Smith ready to give him a knockout shot with the chain........SMITH DUCKS! MR. BORICUA IS KNOCKED SILLY BY THE CHAIN!*

COLE
That backfired!

*The fans go nuts as Smith jumps up behind The Cuban Wall and wraps him up in a full nelson.......Smith puts all of his strength into it and........DRAGON SUPLEX! SMITH HITS THE DRAGON SUPLEX AND GETS THE BRIDGE ON IT!

1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!










3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DING! DING! DING!*

COLE
Yes another victory for Ryan Smith!

ANNOUNCER
YOUR WINNER.......RYAAAAAAAAAN SMITH!!!!!!!!!

*The OU Fight song begins to play as Smith slides of the ring and pumps his fist to the sky while Wall lays in the ring holding his neck and Mr. Boricua lays on the floor trying to wake up from the chain shot. The fans go nuts again for Ryan Smith as he backs up the ramp pumping his fist and jumping for joy.*

COLE
Ryan Smith with another big victory! He's going places!

COACH
Yeah to the hospital. He may have just pissed off the lightening crew.

CABOOSE
And that's never a good idea.

*If he did Smith doesn't care because he's to busy slapping hands with the fans and celebrating as he heads for the back.*


FADE TO BLACK
************************************************
[BACKSTAGE~!]

DA COACH is waiting by JAMES CONE'S DOOR!

COACH
Everyone, I'm waiting here to see if I can get a word with James Cone about his altercation with CWM earlier tonight. I --

(The doors opens and Cone steps out, dressed in a white button up shirt and slacks)

COACH
SP -- I mean, Mr. Cone! Can I ask some questions?

CONE
Let me guess: What do I mean to do about my altercation with CWM?

COACH
Exactly!

CONE
Well, it wasn't the reaction I was expecting from C-Dub. Back in the day we had alot of fun tearing up the highways. I was a newbie and he took me under his wing. Saw some potential. Helped me get my start. He even called me after my match with Triple H right after I first started in the OAOAST to see how I was doing.

COACH
So . . . any idea why he would suddenly think of you in such a negative manner?

CONE
I can't think of any. Maybe he's just getting old. I dunno.

COACH
Maybe it's because the tildeBANG~! is similar to the Pollycutter?

CONE
Perhaps. But the overall design of the move is different. That's like saying the Stone Cold Stunner is the same as the Buff Blockbuster. The tildeBANG is mine, it is that which I have mastered to be the most effective and deadly when it's done properly. Plus, it's got the nifty body press which adds more to the impact of the move.

COACH
Fair enough. We all know that you've become a fair man, so the question begs: what are you going to do?

CONE
Coach . . . we're wrestlers. We're paid to wrestle. Sometimes there's gold involved. Sometimes we've wronged one another. Sometimes it's purely for the sport of professional wrestling. If CWM has something to settle, then we need to do it within the boundaries of the social world we live in. In short: If CWM wants to bring it in the ring, I'll meet him there. (Crowd POPS!)

COACH
Whoa! Is that a challenge?

CONE
If C-Dub wants it, Coach . . . it's a promise. CWM . . . let me know. The Steel Steed will be there.

(Cone gives one last look at the camera and walks away, leaving Coach with an excited look on his face)

COACH
I gotta find CWM! We might have one heck of a match brewing here folks!


COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Chanel #99]

COLE
Whatta night! All this fallout from Anglemania! I'm not sure I can take much more of this!

COACH
You may have to. According to my schedule-

Cue: Smashing Pumpkins, "Quiet"

With a loud EXPLOSION, floods of dark smoke begin to pour out of the entranceway. Amidst the smoke, a storm of white, sparkly pyro builds until that disappears with another EXPLOSION~!

CABOOSE
Well look who it is...

The crowd rise as one to deliver the kind of reception this man must have known he would be receiving. As the smoke clears, a figure emerges, walking to the front of the stage, removing his jet black shades and taking a good look around the arena.

His new home.

"The IceHeart" Dan Black, former IntenseZone General Manager, former Mystery Eskimo, new member of HeldDown, walks down to the ring clad in sharp black business suit.

Dan steps into the ring, taking a microphone and grinning to himself.

COLE
Why's he looking so happy? What a jerk. Get him out of here!

CABOOSE
Hey, let's hear what he has to say, ok?

COACH
He's an IZ guy! We're supposed to hate him!

CABOOSE
He's a fellow countryman of mine, and he's on HD now.

Dan waits for the BOOOOs of the crowd to dim a little, but everytime he raises the mic to his lips the noise rises once more. Black laughs and shrugs and leans in a corner, waiting.

CABOOSE
Have some respect you idiots! This man could kick all your asses!

COLE
I doubt it. He doesnt look so tough.

At last the crowd noise abates, and Black steps back into the middle of the ring.

BLACK
Good evening everybody! It's such a pleasure-

BOOOOOOO!

BLACK
-such a pleasure to be here on-

BOOOOOOO!

BLACK
-HeldDown! And you know, the title of this show is appropriate. Because I've ALWAYS been HeldDown myself...ever since I set foot in this company, everyone has made sure I didnt reach my goal...the World Heavyweight Championship.

COLE
He's dreaming!

BLACK
And who stopped me from achieving this? Well, I have a list.

COACH
Oh man, Dan's so paranoid! He needs a vacation or something!

BLACK
Stephen Joseph. Calvin Szechstein. Zack Malibu. Northstar. Well, last Sunday at Anglemania, you saw me finish Stephen. You all saw what Dan Black is all about. I ended him, just like I ended IntenseZone- and I did it all because I do what I want.

COLE
Yeah right! He got fired from IZ!

BLACK
One down. A whole other show to go. Now I'm in the perfect position to eliminate the likes of Calvin and Zack, our precious World Champ. But to do this, I'm going to need some help. So I brought someone with me to HeldDown.

Crowd BUZZES with interest!

BLACK
He is a man with 20 years of wrestling experience! Allow me to introduce my new manager- the voice of wrestling, the dignified, the always professional- JR, Mr. Jim Ross!

COACH
BAH GAWD!

Cue: "Rock Your Body", Justin Timberlake

Strobe lights start to flash around the arena!

A spotlight falls on the entranceway, as good ol' JR appears!

Wearing a silver cowboy suit and flashing hat!

And dancing!

COLE
Well this is new...

JR dances down to the ring, throwing his own Timberlake-esque moves on the way. The crowd POPS for Dancin' Jim Ross as Dan stands with his mouth open in horror.

Ross boogies into the ring, where Dan gets back on the mic.

BLACK
Cut! Cut this damn music!

The music stops, as JR continues to dance.

BLACK
Jim- what the hell-

JR
Hey Danny! You like mah new image, BAH GAWD?! I was so sick of being good ol' JR, boring, conservative hoss-lover that I've reinvented myself as fast dancin, fast talking, all round STUD hoss-lover!

BLACK
Look, I wanted you to use your wrestling knowledge, your experience-

JR
Sure, I can do that! But I'll be dancing while I do it!

JR breaks into another routine while Dan looks on in disgust.

BLACK
Well....yeah....anyway....I'm laying down an open challenge- next week on HeldDown, my first match against anyone who dares take me on.

Dan throws down the mic as "Quiet" hits again. Black walks out quickly with Dancin' Jim Ross following, attempting to dance to the Pumpkin's grunge.

COLE
Well that was...interesting.

COACH
Jivin' JR is gonna go far baby! Dont forget to tune in next week to catch Dan's first HeldDown match. What's next?
*We are taken to a darkroom with chains hanging off the wall. A little bit of light shines in from the window as Northstar stumbles in.*

NORTHSTAR
Hello!? Anybody here!?

*Suddenly a green light is illuminated behind him to reveal Skull Mask standing there. Northstar spins around and shrieks like a little girl.*

NORTHSTAR
What the hell!?

DAMARAMU(not seen but heard from the darkness)
What are you doing here?

NORTHSTAR
Umm.....have you heard about the new GM?

DAMARAMU
Yes.......why do I care?

NORTHSTAR
Because you just lost your meal ticket buddy. I'm not here to help you out anymore.

DAMARAMU
I do not need you anymore Northstar. Now that I have regained what I lost inside of me......I am unstoppable.

NORTHSTAR
But Ryan Smith stopped you last night.......

DAMARAMU
YOU WILL NOT DISCUSS THAT WITH ME! He may have won a single battle.....but he has not won the war! I will never be finished with Ryan Smith....mark my words.

NORTHSTAR
Well I guess I wanted to let you know that this will probably be the last time you ever see me. I guess it's goodbye.

DAMARAMU
So be it.......

NORTHSTAR
You know! You've changed! I remember when I took you under my wing! You were a cocky little bastard with a vicious streak and I knew that would mold you into something new. I knew you were special and I wanted to do everything in my power to get you over. Well I did....but once Smith returned......you turned into a wild animal! Into this demon thing you are now! I mean shit man! I remember what the fuck you did to Alix! That still burns in my mind! Yes we broke ties......but that was uncalled for!

DAMARAMU
I suggest you leave now........

NORTHSTAR
I'm gone! Fuck you man.

*The door slams as Northstar walks out of the dark room. The light remains illuminated in front of Skull Mask as one lights up in front of Damaramu still showing only their faces. Damaramu still has the silver hair hanging in his face with white pupil-less eyes. Skull Mask looks at Damaramu and then cocks his head a little.*

DAMARAMU
Yeah he's not one of us. He never was. He was merely a tool to get us where we want to be. It's just me and you now Skull Mask. Me and you.

*Mask looks at Damaramu and for the first time ever.......changes his expression as a smile crosses his stone face.*

DAMARAMU
That's right buddy. We're going to win tag team gold. Then we take over Helddown........starting with the death of Ryan Smith............

FADE TO BLACK

[Chanel #99]

MC
Welcome back. We're going to be immediately going to the ring here, as we have a huge match between Panther and former WWE Superstar BodyDonna Skip about to go down!


::We cut out to ringside, where Michael is standing in the center of the ring::

Buffer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!!!

Female voice (off camera): Now you just wait one second Buffer! I'll take it from here!

::The crowd pops in the background as the Bodydonnas' theme song starts up over the PA system. The arena lights dim, and alternating red, yellow and blue spotlights begin to roam the arena as two figures, one male and one female, step out from the locker room in blue, yellow and red spandex. The woman is carrying a mic in her right hand::

Female: No introduction needed, because you people know who we are. He's Skip...I'm Sunny, and together WE'RE THE BODYDONNAS!

Cole, Coach and Caboose: THE BODYDONNAS?!

Sunny: THAT'S RIGHT, THE BODYDONNAS! And I think it's about time that you people here in the OAOAST get in the gym, go on a diet, because when I look around this place, all I can see, from top to bottom, are fat, out of shape, DIGUSTINGLY UGLY PEOPLE!!!!!

::The crowd boos as Skip and Sunny, now at ringside, make their way up the ring stairs and enter the ring::

Sunny: Well ladies and gentlemen, I just want you to take a look at us...the two most physically fit people in the world today! This is what true perfection is supposed to look like, and by the end of this match...I can guarantee you that it'll be one more victory for...THE BODYDONNAS!

::Sunny high fives Skip, who begins jogging in place as Buffer and the referee look on in bewilderment. Sunny steps out to the floor and Skip turns to look towards the locker room as the music begins to die down::

Cole: Candido and Sytch are apparently going retro tonight.

Caboose: Yeah...too bady Tammy couldn't bring her 95 figure with her tonight. Physically fit my ass!

Cole: Stop it! Well folks, Skip and Sunny...they've got quite the task ahead of them tonight, as they go up against the former 24/7 Champion! Here we go.

::"State Prop (You Know Us)" hits the PA system and the arena lights slowly fade to black. After approximately 5 seconds...

**BOOOOOOOOOOM~!**

...a HUGE pyro blast rips through the stage, and flashing red and white spotlights swarm the arena. The lights roam the crowd briefly before converging on the entrance, where Panther appears through a thick cloud of smoke. The crowd pops in the background as Panther walks towards the edge of the stage, soaking up the cheers as well as waiting for the cue in his music. Then, as the horns begin to blare in the background, Panther slowly raises his arms high above his head, holding the pose as white spotlights illuminate the set behind him. Then, he snaps them down, the spotlights disperse about the arena, and Panther starts down the entrance ramp to ringside::

Buffer: Skip's opponent...he hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania...weighing in tonight at ONE HUNDRED and NINETY-SEVEN POOOOUNDS...PAAAAAAANTHHHEEEEEERRRRRR~!

::The crowd cheers at the mention of Panther's name as he continues his path to the ring. Upon reaching ringside, Panther leaps onto the apron, takes a moment to look into the crowd, then steps through the ropes and walks out towards the center of the ring. He then brushes Buffer and the referee aside and turns to the main camera with a look of intensity in his eyes. As the horns begin blaring once again, Panther takes stance in front of the camera. On cue, the arena goes black, and four white spotlights roam the crowd to the beat of the music...getting brighter...brighter...and brighter before converging on the center of the ring, where Panther snaps his right fist into the air and pyro explodes from all four ringposts. The lights slowly return to normal, and Panther walks over to a nearby corner as Skip gets advice from Sunny on the other side of the ring. The music then begins to die down, Buffer steps out to the floor, and the referee calls for the bell::

**DING DING DING**

Cole: There's the bell, and fans, we're underway. It's Panther, Mitchell & Ness' favorite OAOAST star, going up against Bodydonna Skip.

Coach: This match brings a new meaning to the term "throwback".

Caboose: Yeah. Now if only somebody could throw Sunny back to whatever crackhouse she came from--

Cole: OH WILL YOU STOP IT?!

Panther and Skip begin to circle one another as Sunny, from the outside, begins banging the palms of her hands against the mat in an effort to rally the crowd against Panther. The fans pick up her beat, but instead, begin to chant "PAN-THER, PAN-THER", much to Skip's chagrine. He and Panther meet up in the center of the ring with a collar and elbow tie-up. Panther gains the early advantage by locking on a side headlock, but Skip quickly counters by shoving Panther into the ropes. Panther comes off and comes right back at Skip, only to be floored by a shoulder block from Skip. Skip cockily backs away from Panther, then draws the crowds ire by taunting his opponent with a series of jumping jacks.

Cole: Oh, this is ridiculous.

Caboose: I dunno, Cole. Say what you will about the Bodydonnas...Skip's a better wrestler than Panther could ever dream to be.

Cole: We'll see about that.

Panther right back to his feet, and Skip comes right at him, nailing him with a hard forearm to the side of the jaw. A second. A third! One more sends Panther back to the buckle. And with Sunny giving Panther the badmouth from the outside, Skip begins to open up on Panther in the buckle, with a series of forearms to the side of the head and boots to the midsection of Panther. Skip then hooks his right arm under Panther's left armpit, uses his left arm to position Panther, then hiptosses Panther out of the buckle...


BUT PANTHER LANDS ON HIS FEET!

Caboose: Huh?!

Skip charges at him from the corner, but Panther spots him out of the corner of his eye, turns and catches him with a Japanese armdrag that takes him up and over. Both men back to their feet, and Panther catches him with a full armdrag and twist, slapping an armbar on Skip as he lies on the canvas. On the outside, Sunny looks distraught.

Sunny: C'MON SKIP!!! GET UP!!! GET UP!!!

Caboose: Does she ever shut up?!

Cole: Could be worse...she could have a whistle.

Caboose: True...or a megaphone.

Coach: Or a puppy!

Cole:...a puppy?

Coach: I like puppies.

Cole:...right.

By now, Skip has fought the armbar back to a standing position. Panther then winds up on Skip's arm with an arm wringer, but Skip reverses into one of his own, and begins twisting up on Panther's arm. Panther flips over and onto his back, raises both feet and presses them up into the chest of Skip, knocking him to the canvas. Panther then kips up, and as Skip reaches his feet, Panther runs to the ropes, coming off with a Dusty Rhodes-like elbow that mows his opponent down. Panther hits off the ropes again, and Skip gets right back to his feet, only to be mowed down with another elbow to the head. Skip springs back up again and staggers back into the ropes. Panther raises his right fist into the air (drawing a pop from the crowd) before charging in with a full head of steam, but Skip catches him coming in and tosses him over the top rope...


The crowd boos as Skip celebrates in the ring, not noticing that Panther managed to land on the apron. As Skip jams his index finger into his temple to indicate that he's "got brains", Panther makes a cat-like leap to the top rope, bringing the crowd to its feet.

Caboose: Skip...turn around!

Cole: Panther's up on top...Skip doesn't see him...

Skip turns around and spots Panther...

Coach: NOW HE DOES!

But it's too late, as Panther leaps off the top with a missile dropkick that catches him right on the jaw. The impact sends Skip rolling to the ropes and to the outside, and the crowd cheers again in the background as Panther raises his right fist into the air.

Cole: Panther getting the better of Skip in that exchange, and this crowd is loving it. Skip's been knocked to the arena floor and...oh will you look at that?!

The crowd boos in the background as Sunny helps Skip back to his feet and hugs him. At this point, Panther walks over to the ropes over by Skip, yanks back on the top and propels himself over--

Caboose: Watch it Skip...

Skip and Sunny scatter, but Panther once again lands on the apron, faking Skip out once again. This time, however, he's unable to capitalize, as both Skip and Sunny rush towards him, grab him by the back of his jersey and YANK him off the apron, sending him crashing backfirst into the steel guardrail. The crowd begins to boo in the background as the couple begins to doubleteam Panther on the outside, Sunny choking Panther with a white towel while Skip lays into him with right hands!

Cole: C'mon, damn it! This isn't right! Referee, do something about this!

The ref slides to the outside to get control of the situation, having to physically pry Sunny off of Panther. The ref then shoves Sunny away from the Champ of Champs, and as the two argue, Skip walks over to the timekeeper's table, tosses the timekeeper aside and grabs his chair.

Cole: Hey ref! Skip's got a chair!

Caboose: Quiet, you! Lousy snitch!

With the referee distracted, Skip brings the chair over to Panther and clocks him over the head with it, laying him out on the arena floor. The crowd boos LOUDLY as Skip tosses the chair away. He then reaches down, lifts Panther back to his feet and drags him over to the ring apron, where he rolls him into the ring. Skip follows him in and goes for a cover, as Sunny points the pin out to the ref.

Cole: Oh no! Not this way!

The ref slides back into the ring and crawls into position to count the fall...


1...


2...



3!!!!!!!




Cole: NO!!!!!! IT WAS JUST A TWO!!!

Caboose: Are you sure?! It looked like a three to me!

Cole: That was a close call. Skip and Sunny just tried to steal one. And look at Skip.

Skip grabs Panther with both hands and begins choking him on the canvas. The referee steps in to try and break it...

Ref: 1...2...3...4...BREAK IT!

Skip breaks on four, then uses a handful of hair to bring the groggy Panther back to his feet. Once at a standing position, Skip slaps on a front facelock, tosses Panther's arm over his head, then takes the smaller wrestler over with a vicious snap suplex. Then, Skip runs over to the buckle adjacent to Panther's body. He then climbs onto the middle rope, takes a moment to yell at the crowd (enciting LOUD boos), then leaps off with a flying leg drop onto Panther's head and neck. Skip with the lateral press, and begins doing PUSH UPS as he covers Panther!

Cole: What an ass...

1...


2...


3--NO!!!!!!! Panther gets the shoulder up before the count of 3! Frustrated, Skip hooks the leg...


1...


2...


NO!!!! Panther kicks out again, and Skip is frustrated.

Cole: Skip unable to put Panther away, and he doesn't look happy.

Coach: Of course not. I hear he doesn't like to break a sweat, you know.

Skip yanks Panther back to his feet again, and once again begins tearing into him with a series of forearms to the jaw, sending Panther staggering backwards into the ropes. Irish whip by Skip sends Panther in, and he catches him coming off with a beautifully executed dropkick right to the jaw! Sunny applauds on the outside as Skip springs back to his feet, showboating for the crowd.


Cole: Nice dropkick by Skip!

Caboose: He needs to stay on him, though.

Cole: Skip has Panther down...what's this...?

With Panther rolling around on the mat, clutching his jaw, Skip gets down onto the mat, and with Sunny cheering him on, he does...

Coach: More push ups?!

YES!! The crowd boos loudly in the background as Skip does five push ups, then looks up at Sunny and gives her the thumbs up...

Suddenly, Panther springs to life...


Cole: WAIT A MINUTE!!! 3/4 NELSON...PANTHER'S GOT HIM HOOKED!


1...



2...



3--NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Skip manages to kick out JUST before the count of 3!!!! Both men try to get back to their feet, but Skip beats Panther up, catching him with a forearm to the jaw that sends him staggering back into the ropes. Another Irish whip by Skip sends Panther in, but Panther ducks the clothesline coming off. Coming off the other side, however, Skip manages to catch him with a sleeper hold. On the outside, Sunny is ecstatic.

Cole: SLEEPER!!!!!! Skip's got the sleeper cinched in deep on Panther!!!! Panther...he's in some trouble here.

Caboose: Yeah! And ya know, Michael, with the beating Panther's taking here, I wouldn't be surprised if he just went and tapped out right here...JUST LIKE HE DID AT ANGELMANIA!

Cole: He didn't tap!

Caboose: That's not what I saw! I saw Panther's hand strike the mat while he was in the sharpshooter!

Cole: I...I'm not gonna argue with you. Panther's in trouble here. Skip's got the hold perfectly applied, and Panther's beginning to fade, folks!

The fans are clapping and stomping in unison, trying to bring Panther back into the match, but it doesn't appear to be doing any good, as Panther slumps down to the canvas. Sunny's grinning from ear to ear as the referee moves in on Panther and checks the right arm. He raises it high into the air...


...AND IT DROPS ONCE!



He raises it a second time...


...AND IT STAYS UP!!! Much to the crowd's delight!

Cole: The arm stays up...Panther's still in this thing, folks!

Yes. Frustrated, Skip throws Panther down to the canvas and catches him with a well-placed boot right to the bridge of the nose. Skip then walks over to a near corner, and with Panther still on the mat, he climbs to the middle rope once more. He measures Panther, then leaps off with an attempted fist drop...


BUUUUUUUUUT...

Cole: HE MISSES!!!!!!!

Panther rolls out of the way at the last second, and Skip gets NOTHING *BUT* CANVAS!!! He sells the fist like crazy, letting loose a loud scream and running around the ring clutching his fist. As Panther climbs back to his feet, Skip shakes his hand off, then charges in at him with a right hand. As he follows through, however, Panther catches him in a half nelson, and uses it to drive him down, with the back of Skip's neck hitting hard off his knee. Panther quickly springs to his feet, and as Skip sits on the mat clutching the back of his neck, Panther runs to the ropes opposite him, and...

**WHAM**

..comes off with a running front dropkick the catches him right on the jaw!!!! Panther springs right back to his feet, and HE'S FIRED UP, DAMN IT!!!!

Cole: Oh boy!

Coach: Panther's feeling it!

Indeed! With the surging crowd behind him, Panther turns back to Skip, who's slowly pulling himself back to his feet. Once he reaches a vertical base, Panther slips behind him with a rear waistlock, and DRILLS him with a nasty looking German suplex!!!!! Panther springs back to his feet, and he's not done! NO! He reaches down, pulls Skip back to a standing position once more. He locks on another rear waistlock, and drills him with another German!!!!!! He springs back to his feet a second time, and shoots an intense look into the crowd, bringing the fans to their feet.

Cole: This crowd is loud as hell here on HeldDOWN~! Panther has worked them into a frenzy, and look at him now! He's measuring Skip.

Yes. Skip is slowly pulling himself back to his feet as Panther waits on him, begging him to get back to his feet. He pulls himself to one knee...then back to a vertical base, where Panther slips behind him with another rear waistlock! He goes for another German Suplex--

NO! IT'S BLOCKED!!! Skip fires off a couple of reverse elbows to Panther's jaw, breaking his grip and sending him backwards into the ropes. Looking to regain the advantage, Skip runs to the far side, and tries to catch Panther coming off with a clothesline...

But Panther counters into a full nelson, and drills him with a DRAGON SUPLEX!!!!!! Panther holds the bridge...


1...


2...



3!!!!!!!!



Caboose: NO! NO! NO! Only a two!

Cole: DAMN!

Panther releases the bridge and Skip rolls back into his knees, then falls forward to the canvas. Panther then climbs back to his feet, reaches down and grabs Skip by the hair, pulling him back to a standing position. He motions to the crowd with a throat slitting gesture (drawing another pop), then locks on a 3/4 headlock...

Cole: Panther Cutter coming up--

No! Skip shoves Panther into the ropes. Skip drops down as Panther comes off, Panther leaps over him and runs to the other side, when...

**THUD**

Cole: Oh wait a damn minute!

As Panther hits off the ropes, Sunny reaches in and catches his ankle, causing him fall forward onto his face. The crowd boos as Sunny celebrates on the outside...but the boos slowly turn into cheers.

Coach: Uh oh! Look who it is!

IT'S TINA!!! She's walking down the ramp with purpose, and as Panther yells obscenities at Sunny from the ring, Tina comes up from behind and grabs her by the hair. Sunny's eyes open wide with fright as Tina drags her towards the base of the ramp, spins her around and RIPS into her with a vicious clothesline. Tina then drops to her knees and begins pounding away on Sunny...ripping and clawing away at her gear!



We then cut over to sofa central, where JOEY MOTHERFUCKING STYLES hops the guardrail and clotheslines Coach from behind, knocking off his headset. Style dives for the loose headset, Coach grabs the other end, and the two men begin to struggle...

Coach: (grunts) LET....GO!!!!

Styles: (into Coach's mic) CAT FIGHT!!!!!!

Coach: LET...(grunt) GO!!!!!

Styles: CAT FIGHT!!!!!!!

Coach: SECURITY!!!!!

Styles: CAAAAAAAAATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHT!!!!!!!

With that, security and event staff hop over the guardrail and rush Styles, wrestling him to the ground. Meanwhile, in the ring, Skip is hammering away upon Panther with clubbing forearms. He drags Panther back to his feet, and locks on another front facelock. He throws Panther's arm over his shoulder, and takes him up and over with another suplex...


BUT NO!!!! Panther lands on his feet behind him. He grabs Skip by the hair, pulls him into an inverted headlock, then ROLLS THE DICE, taking him over and putting him flat on his face. Still with the headlock applied, Panther presses his feet against the mat and pushes off, rolling onto Skip's back, hooking his right arm, and cinching back on the...

Cole: DRAGON CLUTCH!!!!!! DRAGON CLUTCH BY PANTHER!!! HE'S GOT IT LOCKED!!!

The crowd cheers wildly in the background as Panther leans back as far as he can. Skip's hand extends into the air...looking for a way of escape, but when none presents itself, Skip brings his hand down onto the canvas and bangs against it repeatedly!

Cole: HE TAPPED! HE TAPPED! HE TAPPED!!!

**DING DING DING**

**Cue "State Prop (You Know Us)"

Buffer: Here is your winner...by way of submission...PAAAAAAANTHEEEERRRRRR!!!

Panther slams Skip facefirst into the canvas, and the crowd pops in the background as he looks into the camera with intensity!!!!

Cole: Panther has done it! Panther has picked up a win over Bodydonna Skip, and Caboose, make no mistake about it...THAT *WAS* A TAP OUT!!!!!!

Caboose: Ah...whatever! Panther got the win, yeah! Too bad he couldn't do that Sunday when it actually mattered!

::Tina slides into the ring and raises Panther's right arm, drawing more cheers from the crowd. Suddenly, Panther pulls away from her and calls for the tech crew to cut the music. As the music dies down, Panther grabs the mic from Buffer, turns toward the locker room and begins to speak::

Panther: HD~! (crowd pops in the background) What you just saw right here tonight was a first class, genuine, grade A, Champion of Champions-style ass whooping! (Crowd pops) Chris...good job, man! You put up a great fight...now "Skip" your ass the hell outta the ring, because I've got something I need to take care of!

::The crowd pops as Skip rolls under the bottom rope and to the floor, where he's consoled by Sunny. Together, the pair starts back up the ramp and to the locker room. Panther continues::

Panther: Now...Chris Bryte...(crowd boos) yeah! Bryte, ya know...your actions over the past few days have made me lose what little respect I had for you. I mean...first at Anglemania! Me and Gunner Sharps! The son of a bitch cost me the match by saying I tapped out, when even Stevie Wonder could see, plain as day, that I was reaching for the rope. Was it a mistake? I dunno! It could've very well been. But instead of owning up to it...like a man, instead, Bryte hopped his ass over the guardrail and he ran away! He ran away from the OAOAST, he ran away from his responsibility, and what pisses me off the most is that he even ran away from his own woman! He ran away from Tina! See...these last few days, no one, Tina included, has even seen or heard from Bryte, and quite frankly, that makes me sick!! I mean...these last couple of months, Tina has done just about dedicated her whole life to this Chris Bryte! She's stuck by his side, supported him despite his flaws, she's loved him no matter what, and the piece of garbage just runs out on her and doesn't look back! She's been an emotional wreck over the past few days. Bryte, if you can hear me right now, you should be ashamed of yourself. But Chris...

Bryte: (off camera) Panther! Wait a minute, guy...

Cole: Huh?

::The camera focuses on the entrance, where Chris Bryte appears with a mic, drawing LOUD boos from the crowd::

Cole: It's Bryte! Bryte is here!

::Panther eyes Bryte with a sinister smile and motions for him to come down to the ring, and Bryte starts down, slowly and cautiously::

Bryte: Now Panther, Tina...I know your both mad at me and I can explain. See, Panther...I've watched the tape of that match over and over again! I've watched it backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down...and yes, it did appear that you were reaching for the ropes and not tapping out, and for that mistake, I apologize! (crowd boos) I know it doesn't mean much now, but I'm really ashamed of myself for my poor officiating! I'm sorry! But the reason I've been so low profile for these past few days is because I've been planning something for tonight, and I've been trying to make sure that everything is perfect,

Cole: Chris, buddy! Could you speed it up a bit? We don't have all night?

::Bryte pulls out a remote control from his back pocket and presses a button. Suddenly, confetti, red and white baloons and ticker tape begins falling from the rafters::

Coach: What the hell?!

::As Panther and Tina look on confused. Bryte walks down to ringside, slides into the ring and walks up to Tina. He reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a small black box and opens it! It's a ring. He then takes Tina's hand and gets down on one knee. Panther looks on intently::

Bryte: Tina Marie Laurer...I love you more than life itself...WILL YOU MARRY ME?!

::The crowd boos wildly! Chants of "Just Say No" start up around the arena. Tina looks overwhelmed, and begins to tear up!

Tina: YES!

::Tina and Bryte hug, and the crowd boos in the background. Panther looks pissed as the couple kisses, and we fade out::

[Chanel #99]

::Still photos of the Puerto Rican Lightning/Mad Cappa Puerto Rican Championship Career vs. Title Match at AngleMania III are shown on screen.::

Michael Cole:
Last Sunday at AngleMania III, The OaOasT IntenseZone brand went out with a bang as the final IZ main event saw The Mad Cappa defeat his archrival Puerto Rican Lightning to become the OaOasT Puerto Rican Champion for the first time ever.

Jonathon “Da Coach” Coachman:
It was an incredible match. A match that saw both men give it their all and use any and all moves they could think of in order to win. It went for almost 30 minutes, and neither man wanted to be the one to lose. It was the most important match in PRL’s and Mad Cappa’s lives. If The Mad Cappa were to lose the match, then he would have to retire from the sport of professional wrestling.

Caboose:
The Mad Cappa became the first superstar since “Shooter” Jay Darring to kick out of the P.R. Nightmare and it was a shock to us all. PRL decided to use the ringbell once again and crush Mad Cappa’s repaired larynx, doing what he did to Cappa on the May 27, 2003 edition of IntenseZone, putting Cappa out of action for 3 months.

MC:
However, out of nowhere, Zack Malibu, then HeldDOWN talent, came to Cappa’s rescue, pulling the ringbell away from Tha Puerto Rican just in time. This triggered a brawl between The Lightning Crew and the IntenseZone superstars and Zack Malibu, and through it all, somehow, Colombian Heat entered the ring, and with just one chairshot, Colombian Heat knocked out PRL, and was thrown out of the ring.

Coach:
One BUST A CAP later, and The Mad Cappa pinned Puerto Rican Lightning to become the new OaOasT Puerto Rican Champion, and finally get his revenge on the man that nearly ended his career 10 months ago.

Caboose:
It was an emotional moment for The Mad Cappa and the OaOasT fans. Infront of 74,000 fans in the Pontiac Silverdome in Detroit, Michigan, Cappa celebrated his Title win.

Michael Cole:
It will go down as one of the greatest matches in OaOasT history, and an AngleMania moment that will never be forgotten. An emotional moment and the perfect way for IntenseZone to end, because right after the match was finished, it was announced that IntenseZone was cancelled and absorbed by HeldDOWN.

Coach:
But right before then, the IntenseZone brand had its moment in the sun, its last hurrah, its last great moment as the entire IntenseZone lockeroom came out and celebrated with The Mad Cappa since everyone on IZ was sick and tired of PRL running dominant over the show. Zack Malibu even joined in on the celebration too!

Michael Cole:
It was truly an emotional moment as IntenseZone stood by Mad Cappa to celebrate his victory. What we DIDN’T show you was that celebration, so now, here is a look at what happened after the PRL/Mad Cappa match ended this past Sunday at AngleMania III. The entire IntenseZone lockeroom comes out to celebrate with The Mad Cappa.

::The OaOasT and HeldDOWN logos flash by on the screen. The camera cuts to the post-match celebration Mad Cappa had at AngleMania III after defeating Puerto Rican Lightning. A caption reads at the lower right hand corner of the screen “OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III COMING SOON TO OAOAST HOME VIDEO.::

JR:
“PAYBACKS ARE HELL!” THAT WAS MAD CAPPA’S BATTLE CRY FOR TONIGHT!!! HE PROMISED REVENGE!!! HE PROMISED COMEUPPANCE FOR CRUSHING HIS LARYNX AND NEARLY ENDING HIS CAREER!!! TONIGHT ALL THAT CAME THROUGH!!! THE MAD CAPPA HAS DEFEATED PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING TO WIN THE OAOAST PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP AND FINALLY GET REVENGE ON THE MAN WHO NEARLY ENDED HIS CAREER AFTER A ONE-YEAR FEUD!!! WHAT A VICTORY FOR INTENSEZONE!!!

::Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is shown crying. PRL turns around to see The Mad Cappa celebrating in the ring with the Puerto Rican Championship belt. He starts to cry himself. He screams “OH NO! NOT HIM! ANYONE BUT HIM!” A sad expression appears on PRL’s face as Mr. Boricua grunts and snorts. Cappa dances in the ring as PRL continues crying yelling, “WHY HIM? ANYONE BUT HIM!!! IT’S NOT FAIR! IT’S NOT FAIR! I WANT TO DIE! I WANT TO DIE! NOT HIM!!! I HATE YOU!!!” The LC walks slowly to the entrance watching Cappa celebrate with sad looks on their faces. Zack Malibu enters the ring and congratulates The Mad Cappa. Zack places the belt over Cappa’s right shoulder and raises his right arm in victory to a loud pop. Zack saids “YEAH! YOU DID IT BUDDY! WAY TO GO!” Zack and Cappa hug.::

JR:
A STANDING OVATION FROM THE 74,000 FANS FILLING UP THE PONTIAC SILVERDOME IN DETROIT, MICHIGAN!!! THE MAD CAPPA IS IN THE RING CELEBRATING HIS WIN!!! AFTER ONE YEAR OF DOMINACE!!! AFTER ONE YEAR OF HATRED!!! AFTER ONE YEAR OF EVIL!!! AFTER ONE YEAR OF BEING IN CONTROL!!! AFTER ONE YEAR OF BEING PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION, PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS BEEN DE-THRONED AS PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION!!! THE MAD CAPPA IS NOW THE NEW CHAMPION AND BAWD GAWD IT COULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED TO A BETTER GUY!!! A BRAND NEW ERA HAS DAWNED ON INTENSEZONE!!!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” has to restart. The crowd is still cheering chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” as PRL and The Lightning Crew all stand in the entrance crying. “Shooter” Jay Darring and Lauren Gellar enter the ring and congratulate Cappa. G-Money, Shuffle, and Spider-Poet then enter the ring. Y2Jailbait then enters the ring and is followed by Stephen Joseph, who gives Cappa a handshake and then a hug. “Reject” Aaron Justin then enters the ring and high fives Cappa, and then followed by 40 Oz Jimmy Carter and K-NESS. They both congratulate Mad Cappa and shake his hands. The crowd is still cheering and chanting “CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA!” Damien “The Dames” Gonzalez then enters the ring and hugs Mad Cappa thanking him for getting him good ratings during his General Manager term. Blurricane and Judas then enter the ring to celebrate. Sonic “Icon” Youth and The Shocker, former tag partners of Jay Darring, then enter the ring and congratulate Mad Cappa for his victory. J.O.B. Squad then enters the ring and shakes hands with Cappa. J*INGUS then enters the ring and celebrates, giving Cappa a hug which squishes him. Teddy Weddy then enters the ring with J-Train and Gary Busey and bearhugs Mad Cappa. Cappa fights to let go. “The Professional” Mike Darring enters the ring and gives Cappa a handshake. Dangerous A then enters the ring, along with Alfdogg. Kyle Landis enters next. The camera does a birds-eye view of the ring, where every single IntenseZone wrestler minus Dan Black and Zack Malibu from HeldDOWN~! celebrates and congratulates The Mad Cappa, who is raising the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt with a wide smile on his face, dancing, and playing to the crowd, who are all cheering loudly and chanting “CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA!” The ring nearly fills up with wrestlers.::

JR:
LOOK AT THAT SCENE! LOOK AT ALL THOSE WRESTLERS!!! EVERY INTENSEZONE STAR THAT HAS COMPETED ON IZ SINCE DAY ONE OF THE ROSTER SPLIT IS IN THE RING IS IN THE RING CONGRADULATING THE MAD CAPPA FOR HIS WIN AGAINST PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! EVERYONE ON INTENSEZONE HATED PRL, AND ARE NOW HAPPY THAT HE HAS LOST HIS TITLE!!! THAT HE IS NOW BELTLESS!!!

Jesse:
That’s not true, Jim Ross! I don’t see Black Widow there. Nor, do I see The Goblin, and Dan Black is absence from this celebration.

JR:
WHO CARES HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN THE RING? THE POINT IS THAT EVERY INTENSEZONE WRESTLER WAS SICK OF PRL AND SICK OF THE LIGHTNING CREW AND ARE HAPPY THAT THE MAD CAPPA HAS DEFEATED HIM REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT THEY’RE FAN FAVORITES!!! THIS IS INTENSEZONE UNITY!!! THIS IS WHAT THE OAOAST IS ALL ABOUT!!! AND ZACK MALIBU IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CELEBRATION HELPING ONE OF HIS NEWFOUND FRIENDS, THE MAD CAPPA!

Jesse:
THIS IS MAKING ME SICK!!! ZACK MALIBU HAD NO BUSINESS BEING INVOLVED IN THIS MATCH IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM!!! AND COLOMBIAN HEAT WAS RESPONSBILE FOR CAPPA WINNING! THAT ONE CHAIRSHOT CHANGED THE COURSE OF THIS MATCH!!! IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE CHAIRSHOT, PRL WOULD STILL BE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION AND THE MAD CAPPA WOULD HAVE BEEN RETIRED, AND THIS CELEBRATION WOULD NOT BE TAKING PLACE RIGHT NOW!!!

JR:
WHAT A MATCH!!! WHAT AN ANGLEMANIA MOMENT!!! THE INTENSEZONE SUPERSTARS HAVE FILLED THE RING AND ARE CELEBRATING WITH THEIR FELLOW COMPETITOR ALONG WITH ZACK MALIBU, THE MAN CALLED THE “FRANCHISE” OF THE OAOAST BY MANY!!!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” by DJ Kool has to restart again. The lights go down in the arena causing the crowd to pop again. Fireworks shoot up from the arena as PRL and The Lightning Crew still stand by watching.::

Puerto Rican Lightning (Crying):
NO! NOT HIM! ANYONE BUT HIM!!! GODAMNIT!!! NOT HIM!!! NOT HIM!!!

JR:
THA PUERTO RICAN IS FURIOUS THAT HE HAS LOST. BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THAT?!!! THE MAD CAPPA GOT HIS REVENGE ON PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING FOR NEARLY ENDING HIS CAREER!!! THE MAD CAPPA IS NOW THE MAN ON INTENSEZONE!!! HE IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!!!

::Zack Malibu challenges PRL to enter the ring. He threatens to kick his ass. The Mad Cappa gets on the turnbuckles and poses with the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt. The crowd cheers loudly and chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” A single white spotlight shines on Mad Cappa as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” continues playing. Cappa smiles and gets the crowd hyped up as they are still cheering. Cappa then directs his direction to PRL. He raises the belt in PRL’s direction, which makes PRL cry even more. Cappa gives PRL a double middle finger salute and then spits in his direction. PRL sneers at Cappa, so Cappa sneers back. Confetti and red, white, and blue balloons fall from the top of the dome. The crowd cheers even louder as fireworks explode over the Pontiac Silverdome. The crowd chants “CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA!” Cappa chants along and raises the Puerto Rican Championship belt for the crowd to see. He smiles a wide smile and shakes hands with Zack Malibu and Stephen Joseph. He gets a kiss from Lauren and a hug from J*INGUS. “Shooter” Jay Darring gives him a handshake. PRL and The Lightning Crew leave through the entrance. The Mad Cappa hypes the crowd up. Smiling as the crowd gets louder and louder.::

JR:
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT!!! WHAT AN EMOTIONAL MATCH!!! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT!!! WHAT AN ANGLEMANIA MOMENT!!! THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WILL BE REMEMBERED FOREVER BAWD GAWD!!! THIS MATCH, THIS MOMENT WILL BE SOMETHING THAT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET!!!

Jesse:
I am sure Puerto Rican Lightning is going to want to forget about AngleMania III starting tomorrow! And I gotta say that Mad Cappa might want to cut that belt in half and give half to Zack Malibu, since the glory hog is going to want to have something to remind him that he helped DESTROY a man’s title reign, and he didn’t have anything to do with the wrestlers involved!

JR:
HE DID IT BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!! HE COULDN’T STAND THERE AND WATCH PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING CRUSHED MAD CAPPA’S LARYNX AGAIN!!! HE COULDN’T STAND THERE AND WATCH THE MAD CAPPA HELPLESS!!! HE HAS A HEART!!! HE HAS MORALS!!! PRL HAS NONE OF THAT!!! HE HELPED CAPPA BECAUSE HE HAD TO!!! BECAUSE HE HAS A HEART!!!

::”Shooter” Jay Darring, Lauren Gellar, The Shuffle, 40 Oz Jimmy Carter, Y2Jailbait, Stephen Joseph, “Reject” Aaron Justin, G-Money, “The Professional” Mike Darring, Teddy Weddy, Dangerous A, Alfdogg, Damien “The Dames” Gonzalez, J*INGUS, Spider-Poet, Kyle Landis, K-NESS, Sonic Youth, The Shocker, J-Train, Gary Busey, Blurricane, Judas, J.O.B. Squad, Zack Malibu and The Mad Cappa all stand in the ring celebrating. They all smiling and happy as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” continues playing.::

JR:
WHAT AN INTENSEZONE MAIN EVENT! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THE MAD CAPPA DEFEND THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP ON INTENSEZONE TUESDAY NIGHTS!!! PRL FINALLY GOT HIS COMEUPPANCE!!!

Jesse:
THE MAD CAPPA WILL NOT BE 1/5 THE CHAMPION PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING WAS! AND IT WAS ALL STEPHEN JOSEPH’S FAULT THAT THE MATCH BECAME NO DISQUALIFICATION AND THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP BECAME AN OFFICIAL OAOAST TITLE! SO REALLY IT WAS STEPHEN JOSEPH, ZACK MALIBU, AND THE MAD CAPPA’S FAULT THAT PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING IS NO LONGER THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION!!! A MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE!!!

::The Mad Cappa raises the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt to the cheering crowd. He hugs Zack Malibu and then suddenly, Zack Malibu, “Shooter” Jay Darring, and Stephen Joseph lift Cappa up on their shoulders. They parade The Mad Cappa around the ring. The guys smile and cheer, getting the crowd hyped up. The rest of the IZ wrestlers applaud Mad Cappa and give him a standing ovation. The Mad Cappa smiles and raises the belt. The crowd chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” Zack Malibu, Stephen Joseph, and “Shooter” Jay Darring continue parading The Mad Cappa around the ring. Fireworks explode over the Pontiac Silverdome in Detroit, Michigan. The crowd cheers loudly.::

JR:
AT ANGLEMANIA II, THE MAD CAPPA WALKED OUT OF THE RING A LOSER!!! BUT AT ANGLEMANIA III, THE MAD CAPPA WALKED OUT OF THE RING A WINNER AND WITH HIS CAREER STILL INTACT!!! HERE IS YOUR REIGNING PUERTO CHAMPION, THE MAD CAPPA!!! HIS LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!!! AND NEITHER WILL PRL’S LIFE BE THE SAME AGAIN!!! IT IS THE DAWN OF THE NEW ERA HERE ON INTENSEZONE!!! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING’S ONE-YEAR DOMINACE OVER INTENSEZONE HAS COME TO AN END!!! THE LIGHTNING CREW WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!!! INTENSEZONE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!!! THE OAOAST WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!!! PAYBACKS ARE HELL!!! THE MAD CAPPA GETS HIS REVENGE!!! THA PUERTO RICAN FINALLY GETS WHAT HE DESERVES!!!

::The Mad Cappa is put down. He shakes hands with Zack Malibu, Jay Darring, and Stephen Joseph, and then gets on the turnbuckles and poses with the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt to cheers. The crowd chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” He gets the crowd hyped up as they continue cheering him as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” by DJ Kool restarts again. Cappa smiles.::

JR:
WHAT A GREAT MOMENT!!!

Jesse:
This is horrible! This is highway robbery! Zack Malibu should never have been in the same ring as the IntenseZone guys. Colombian Heat shouldn’t have ever been in the ring with a steel chair. This is a tragedy! This is horrible!

JR:
THIS IS A GREAT MOMENT!!! THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING!!! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MATCH!!! THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE MOMENT IN OAOAST HISTORY!!! AN ANGLEMANIA MOMENT!!! YOU WILL NEVER FORGET THIS MATCH!!! REMEMBER THIS MOMENT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! THIS IS TRULY THE GREATEST OAOAST SHOW THERE EVER WAS AND I AM DAMN PROUD TO BE APART OF IT!!! THIS IS THE GREATEST WRESTLING SHOW OF ALL TIME!!! AND WE STILL GOT MORE TO COME!!!

::The IntenseZone wrestlers start leaving the ring. Zack Malibu congratulates The Mad Cappa once again and leaves the ring. The Mad Cappa stands in the center of the ring and raises the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt causing the crowd to cheer loudly and chant “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” The camera cuts to several “Pro-Cappa” signs in the crowd.::

JR:
FOLKS, THANK YOU FOR WATCHING THE INTENSEZONE PORTION OF OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III!!! YOU’VE JUST SEEN THE INTENSEZONE MAIN EVENT!!! THAT IS ALL THE TIME WE HAVE!!! WE’LL SEE YOU THIS TUESDAY FOR THE FALLOUT FROM ANGLEMANIA, LIVE ON ANOTHER EXCITING, ACTION PACKED EDITION OF OAOAST INTENSEZONE!!! FOR JESSE “THE BODY” VENTURA, I’M “GOOD OL’” JIM “J.R.” ROSS SAYING “SO LONG”, AND I’LL SEE YOU THIS TUESDAY FOR INTENSEZONE!!! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MOMENT THAT YOU WILL NEVER EVER FORGET!!!

::The last image is of the IntenseZone wrestlers and Zack Malibu standing in the ring. The Mad Cappa gets on a turnbuckle and poses with the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt. Cappa smiles and gets the crowd hyped up as fireworks explode over the Pontiac Silverdome and 74,000 fans chant “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” Confetti and red, white, and blue balloons fall from the dome. Mad Cappa dances in the ring and with the belt. The Mad Cappa raises the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt to more cheers and “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” chants as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” by DJ Kool continues playing. The camera fades out.::

::FADE OUT::

::The OaOasT and HeldDOWN logos flash by on the screen. The crowd cheers loudly as the camera does a pan of them holding up their signs. A deep, slow voiced man saids "LIGHTNING CREW". The AngleTron lights up with an image of Puerto Rican Lightning on it. The crowd boos the moment his face is shown. The image of a smiling PRL changes to another image of PRL raising the Puerto Rican Championship belt after a match. The crowd continues booing waiting for Puerto Rican Lightning to show up. As the AngleTron shows image after image of PRL, music is being played in the background. The music is slow and mellow sounding like the opening to a classical song. A man whispers the words "Chance" throughout the opening. On the AngleTron, the image changes to an image of PRL choked up. Follow by PRL being very very angry. Follow by PRL crying. Finally, the last image is of Puerto Rican Lightning smiling in a psychotic matter. The music swells, the crescendo hits, the AngleTron switches to a waving Puerto Rico flag with, in big white blocky letters, LIGHTNING CREW appearing in front of it. A lightning bolt hits the entrance. Fog fills up the entrance as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds begins playing. The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron as the crowd boos waiting for PRL to arrive.::

Michael Cole:
And now he is going to be making debut here on HeldDOWN~!

Jonathon Coachman:
I can’t wait to see Tha Puerto Rican come out here, along with his girlfriend Lindsay!

Caboose:
Keep it in your pants, junior.

::”No Chance In Hell” continues playing as the crowd chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" until finally, Puerto Rican Lightning steps through the fog and smoke and the flickering lights.::

MC:
And there he is. The former OaOasT Puerto Rican Champion.

Caboose:
It’s ashamed that HeldDOWN must now be the home of Puerto Rican Lightning. Why couldn’t he just disappear?

MC:
All the IntenseZone wrestlers have been absorbed into HeldDOWN. Now they are allow to be making appearances since HeldDOWN is now the only OaOasT show on T.V. That was the announcement made by former HeldDOWN General Manager Northstar last Sunday at AngleMania III.

Coach:
It was defiantley a shocking announcement, even more shocking is that Puerto Rican Lightning is actually on HeldDOWN now, following the impact he’s had on IntenseZone the past year.

MC:
And PRL looks not to be in a happy mood tonight.

::The crowd boos PRL loudly, chanting "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" but PRL does not listen. Puerto Rican Lightning has a depressed look on his face as he looks at the crowd. The Lightning Crew are also sad and nearly at tears. Lightning tries to calm down, ordering the Lightning Crew to walk with him to the ring.::

MC:
He has been called the MVP of IntenseZone. He is the longest reigning North American Champion in OaOasT history. He was responsible for the first OaOasT show to be held in Puerto Rico, by having The Lightning Crew take over IntenseZone on February 10, 2004 dubbed “Battle of San Juan”. He calls himself the single greatest wrestler in the OaOasT today. He is the leader of The Lightning Crew. PRL, Puerto Rican Lightning, is now appearing EXCLUSIVELY on HeldDOWN~!

Caboose:
You know, at first I was pissed that these IntenseZone scrubs were going to be appearing on our show, but you know, if we have guys like Puerto Rican Lightning on our show, maybe it won’t be so bad.

Coach:
I’m okay with it. It adds one more hot girl into the show every Thursday for me to look at!

Caboose:
I hate Puerto Rican Lightning now, thanks to you!

MC:
PRL HAS to be depressed after his lost last Sunday. PRL has been involved in a one-year feud with Cappa, and it all came to a head at AngleMania III. Cappa put his career on the line against PRL, and it all fell apart. Now PRL is beltless for the first time since August, and it is thanks to The Mad Cappa.

Caboose:
And HACK Malibu. Don’t forget that pretty boy took that ringbell from Puerto Rican Lightning.

Coach:
But it was The Mad Cappa who got the pin on Puerto Rican Lightning. Not Zack Malibu!

Caboose:
But history will show that Zack played a part. Cappa would be in the hospital by now if it weren’t for Zack. That damn prep caused PRL the Puerto Rican Championship!

::Puerto Rican Lightning walks to the ring with his head down moping and frowning along with The Lightning Crew as "No Chance In Hell" continues to play. The crowd continues booing him, some even throwing garbage in his direction. PRL jaws with some fans at ringside and flips them off. PRL steps on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd and then enters the ring. The crowd chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" but PRL just sneers at the crowd as "No Chance In Hell" by Lloyd & Boyd continues playing.::

MC:
This is certainly historic. PRL is now in a HeldDOWN ring for the first time ever. But he is not in a good mood. Infact, he is practically crying right now as he stands in the ring without the Puerto Rican Championship.

Coach:
I’m sorry, but I just can’t pay attention to PRL when Lindsay Gonzalez is right there standing next to him. DAMN~! That girl is one fine Latina!

::PRL jaws with the fans, then grabs a microphone, as the fans chant "P.R. SUCKS!". "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds dies down. The crowd still chants as Lightning stands in the ring with tears in his eyes. The LC are all standing sad. The crowd is booing loudly. PRL doesn’t sneer, but instead turns his head and frowns. Anti-PRL signs are shown in the crowd. Vitamin X and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez try to comfort PRL, but it doesn’t work.::

MC:
This is unusual behavior for Puerto Rican Lightning. He is actually quiet.

Caboose:
Can you BLAME him? He lost his PRESTIGIOUS Puerto Rican Championship to THE MAD CRAPPA of all people?

Coach:
You’re certainly picking up where Jesse “The Body” Ventura left off.

Caboose:
Who?

MC:
Nevermind.

::PRL looks at the crowd, who are still booing. Finally, PRL closes his eyes and brings the microphone to his lips.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:
May I have your attention, please?

::BOOS~!::

MC:
PRL not receiving much respect on his first appearance on HeldDOWN~!

Caboose:
These fans are all morons. All OaOasT fans are morons.

PRL:
Last Sunday at AngleMania III. Last Sunday at AngleMania III. March 28, 2003. Pontiac Silverdome. Detroit, Michigan. Last Sunday at AngleMania III, something terrible happened to me. Last Sunday at AngleMania III, Puerto Rican Lightning, I, I—I---last Sunday at AngleMania III, I—I---I—I--…I LOST the Puerto Rican Championship to The Mad Cappa.

::The crowd cheers loudly. The crowd chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” PRL closes his eyes and nearly cries.::
Caboose:
Very heartbreaking for PRL to say. I’m glad he had the courage to say it.

Puerto Rican Lightning:
Last Sunday at AngleMania III, I lost the Puerto Rican Championship to The Mad Cappa. The belt that I have held for the past year. The belt that I’ve defended against all comers. The very belt that I have gave 100% of myself for. I lost it. And I lost it to the person I didn’t want to lose it to the most. THE MAD CRAPPA.

::The crowd cheers loudly again.::

MC:
PRL admitting to the world that he has lost to The Mad Cappa. PRL is not in a good mood. He is depressed. He has been depressed since last Sunday. 4 days have passed since AngleMania III.

Caboose:
His treasured title is now in the hands of his archrival. That has GOT to be killing him big time.

Coach:
The Mad Cappa has finally gotten his revenge on The P.R. Menace.

Puerto Rican Lightning:
I. Am no longer the Puerto Rican Champion. I have lost to The Mad Cappa. I have been defeated, and I was defeated at AngleMania III. And it is all, it is all---It is all. Sighs It…it…it is all….GRRRRRRR.

Coach:
He can’t take it.

PRL:
It is…. it is…It…It is all YOUR FAULT!

::Puerto Rican Lightning points his finger to Colombian Heat. The crowd is shocked. The Lightning Crew is also shock. Colombian Heat has an odd look on his face as PRL now is angry and walks towards him.::

MC:
WHAT? HUH? How is that possible?

PRL:
It is all your fault! It is all your fault Colombian Heat! It was YOU that hit me in the head with that steel chair. It was YOU who cost me the Puerto Rican Championship. It was YOU who made me lose to The Mad Cappa. It was YOU who made me lose at the biggest OaOasT show of all time. It was all YOUR DAMN FAULT COLOMBIAN HEAT! YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH! THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

::Puerto Rican Lightning gets nose-to-nose with Colombian Heat. The crowd stands up and starts to buzz in anticipation as The Lightning Crew try to hold PRL back. Colombian Heat yells, “I didn’t do nothing, man! I didn’t do nothing! I did nothing!”::

MC:
This is shocking. Colombian Heat has been blamed by PRL for what happened at AngleMania III.

Caboose:
Hey, can you blame him? Colombian Heat DID hit PRL with the steel chair.

PRL:
YOU ARE THE CAUSE FOR ALL OF THIS! ALL THE UNHAPPINESS! ALL THE PAIN! ALL OF THIS IS THANKS TO YOU!!! YOU STUPID IDIOT! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND! YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND! HOW DARE YOU DO SUCH A THING! HOW DARE YOU COST ME WHAT MEANS THE MOST TO ME! I HATE YOU!

::PRL shoves Colombian Heat to a turnbuckle. Colombian Heat defends himself by shoving PRL back. The crowd cheers for Heat’s comeback. PRL and Heat get into a shoving contest with the crowd cheering the whole time.::

MC:
OH MY! And it looks like PRL and Colombian Heat are at odds with each other!

Caboose:
This is not right! This is not right all all! Come on guys! You are best friends! You are amigos! You are padres! You shouldn’t do this!

::PRL shoves Colombian Heat, but Heat shoves PRL farther. PRL nearly lands on his ass. The two friends get in a staredown that causes The Lightning Crew to get involve. The crowd gets louder and louder, hoping that this means the LC are breaking up.::

MC:
We got some problems in The Lightning Crew camp happening right before our very eyes!

::PRL and Colombian Heat keep shoving each other, until PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member pulls PRL back and away from The Lightning Crew. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”::

MC:
And now PRL and Colombian Heat are now at odds with each other!
Coach:
DAMNIT! I wanted to see those two fight!

::PROTOTYPE tries to talk to PRL. The crowd stands up and boos loudly as PROTOTYPE holds Lightning back. The crowd boos loudly as PRL fights with PROTOTYPE. He shoves him, and then slaps him in the face causing the crowd to boo.::

MC:
Oh boy. That is not good. That is not good.

Coach:
PRL shouldn’t have done that. You don’t want to make the monster angry!

::PROTOTYPE has a fuming look on his face. Puerto Rican Lightning realizes what he has done, and tries to calm down his creation, but PROTOTYPE grabs PRL by his dreadlocks and places him on his back. The crowd stands up and cheers loudly as PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member does the PERFECT Finishing Maneaveaur on Puerto Rican Lightning to a loud pop. Lightning lies on the mat unconscious.::

MC:
AND OH MY~! PROTOTYPE: THE PERFECT LIGHTNING CREW MEMBER HAS JUST GIVEN PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING A REVERSE F-5! THE PERFECT FINISHING MANEAVEAUR! PROTOTYPE HAS JUST ATTACKED HIS CREATOR!

Coach:
Like Frankenstein, PROTOTYPE has turned on his own creator. The very man who made him!

Caboose:
Please tell me that this is just an April’s Fools Joke. Please tell me that none of this is serious! Please tell me that this is all a joke. PROTOTYPE did NOT just do that! He did NOT just attack his creator! Please tell me that this is a joke! Please tell me! Come on!

::The crowd cheers PROTOTYPE as The Lightning Crew decide to charge after him. PROTOTYPE yells and this causes The Lightning Crew to all stand back in fear. PROTOTYPE grunts and snorts and then yells at PRL, who is struggling to get up. He rips his white Lightning Crew t-shirt off to a loud pop and then climbs over the ropes, and leaves the ring. The crowd chants “PRO-TO-TYPE! PRO-TO-TYPE! PRO-TO-TYPE! PRO-TO-TYPE!” as PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member walks away from the ring sneering and grunting. The Lightning Crew all check on PRL, with worry looks on their faces, including Colombian Heat.::

Michael Cole:
Well, it looks like PROTOTYPE is out of The Lightning Crew!
Caboose:
This cannot be true! This cannot be true at all! PROTOTYPE is still apart of The Lightning Crew! This is all a joke! This is all a joke!

Coach:
I don’t think so, ‘Boose. PROTOTYPE ripped off his Lightning Crew t-shirt and has left the ring, leaving Puerto Rican Lightning in pain! I think PROTOTYPE has just turned his back on his creator!

Caboose:
Eh, go away! This show didn’t need 3 giants anyway! We’re better off without him!

MC:
You just said you hoped it was a joke!

Caboose:
Well, I changed my mind. I can do that. I’m Caboose!

::PROTOTYPE leaves through the entrance. The Lightning Crew struggle and pick up Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL grabs the microphone and coughs, catching his breath.::

Puerto Rican Lightning (catching his breath):
PROTOTYPE. Cough PROTOTYPE. Please, come back. Please, please come back. Clutching his stomach Please, I’m begging you. Please come back. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. I DEMAND YOU TO COME BACK! PROTOTYPE, I ORDER YOU TO COME BACK! PROTOTYPE! COME BACK! PROTOTYPE! COME BACK! COME BACK! COME BACK!!!

::PRL cries his eyes out as he holds onto the ropes. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member has left and The Lightning Crew tries to hold Lightning together. PRL is crying, but he speaks through his teeth, as an evil look appears on his face.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:
FINE! PROTOTYPE! YOU WANT TO GO! YOU WANT TO LEAVE YOUR LEADER? YOU WANT TO LEAVE YOUR CREATOR? YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH! YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO LEAVE ME? WELL, THEN, PROTOTYPE, YOUUUUUUUU’RRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE FIRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!! PROTOTYPE, AS OF THIS MOMENT, YOU ARE OUT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! I DON’T NEED YOU!!! GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK!!! YOU HEAR ME!!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!!

::The crowd is shock. PRL clutches his stomach and continues speaking.::

PRL:
HEY! YOU CAN LEAVE! YOU CAN LEAVE! BECAUSE TONIGHT, TONIGHT IS THE START OF A BRAND NEW ERA!!! TONIGHT IS THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW ERA OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! NO SCRUBS ARE ALLOWED!!! NO PUSSIES ARE INDUCTED!!! THE LIGHTNING CREW WILL START ALL OVER!!! AND IT WILL START ALL OVER WITH A NEW NAME!!! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING IS NO MORE!!! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING IS DEAD!!! SAY HELLO TO THA PUERTO RICAN!!!

MC:
WHOA!

Coachman:
Did Puerto Rican Lightning just change his name?

Caboose:
Indeed he did. Tha Puerto Rican is now his new name. You DO NOT call him Puerto Rican Lightning. His new name is Tha Puerto Rican. Get that right! Remember that! It’s Tha Puerto Rican now! Not Puerto Rican Lightning. It’s Tha Puerto Rican! THA PUERTO RICAN!

::The new Tha Puerto Rican lies on the mat, falling after hanging on the ropes. The Lightning Crew, including Colombian Heat, hold him up.::

Tha Puerto Rican:
AND THA PUERTO RICAN WILL DOMINATE HELDDOWN JUST LIKE HE DOMINATED INTENSEZONE! I AM THE ONE AND ONLY THA PUERTO RICAN! T-H-A P-U-E-R-T-O R-I-C-A-N!!! AND THA PUERTO RICAN WILL BECOME THE OAOAST WORLD CHAMPION!!! THA PUERTO RICAN WILL DEFEAT EVERYONE HE FIGHTS!!! THA PUERTO RICAN WILL PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT HE IS THE GREATEST WRESTLER THERE EVER WAS!!! AND THA PUERTO RICAN WILL CRIPPLE ANYONE AND EVERYONE WHO STANDS IN HIS WAY! STARTING TONIGHT, A NEW ERA IN THE OAOAST BEGINS! AND THAT IS THA PUERTO RICAN ERA!!! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH, RUTH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

::”No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds begins playing again. The Lightning Crew carry Tha Puerto Rican out of the ring while the crowd boos. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” and throw garbage at them. Tha Puerto Rican struggles to breathe and is in pain as Colombian Heat talks to him.::

Michael Cole:
Well, Tha Puerto Rican, as he is called now, has just suffered another case of bad luck. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew has just left The Lightning Crew and now P.R. is saying that he is now going to have a new era.

Coachman:
Tha Puerto Rican wants to leave Puerto Rican Lightning and IntenseZone behind. He wants to start afresh on HeldDOWN. He already has a new name, now can he actually make an impact?

Caboose:
Of course, he can make an impact. Tha Puerto Rican can do no wrong. He WILL make an impact on HeldDOWN and make it his show just like he made IntenseZone his show. Tha Puerto Rican, P.R., will become the OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion one day. He WILL become the greatest!

Coachman:
Puerto Rican Lightning, uh, excuse me, Tha Puerto Rican, seems a little cocky don’t you think?

Caboose:
He is confident! Tha Puerto Rican KNOWS he can do it. He is a main eventer! He is the longest reigning North American Champion in OaOasT history! He is the longest reigning Puerto Rican Champion in OaOasT history, and the first man to win the title more than once. He WILL win it again! He WILL become OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion! Like he saids “And that’s the truth, Ruth!”

MC:
Tha Puerto Rican has made his debut on HeldDOWN. We still got a lot more to come, as we continue with the first OaOasT show of the new era. More HeldDOWN in three! We’ll be right back after this!

::The Lightning Crew carry Tha Puerto Rican to the entrance. P.R. raises his arms in victory and sneers. He flips the crowd the middle finger and then The Lightning Crew carry him out as the crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” and throw garbage at his direction. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds comes to an end as the camera fades to black and Tha Puerto Rican exits through the curtain.::

::FADE OUT::

::COMMERCIALS::


::The camera cuts to the interview area backstage. The Mad Cappa is standing next to Josh Matthews. The crowd cheers loudly and chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” as Cappa smiles and holds the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt over his right shoulder. He smiles as the camera shows Mad Cappa signs over the arena.::

Josh Matthews:
Mad Cappa, you are just coming off your incredible No Disqualification Match against Puerto Rican Lightning, now known as Tha Puerto Rican, last Sunday at AngleMania III in which you put your career on the line. You are now the new Puerto Rican Champion. How do you feel?

The Mad Cappa:
I feel great!

::The crowd cheers loudly. The crowd chants “CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA!” The camera pans the crowd and shows all the pro-Cappa signs. Cappa smiles.::

Mad Cappa:
You know, J. Math, I have never been so happier in my life. I finally got my revenge on that annoying, evil Puerto Rican Lightning. AND I got my first title to boot! I am proud to be the OaOasT Puerto Rican Champion, and will be sure to defend this title against all challengers and make this belt prestigious the way it sure be!

::The crowd cheers.::

The Mad Cappa:
I am on cloud 9 right now. Things are going my way, and I couldn’t be happier. It feels great to know that my hard work has paid off. You know, last year I didn’t even know if I was going to wrestle again, now I am the OaOasT Puerto Rican Champion AND a superstar in the OaOasT! Life couldn’t be grander. GATALMALA! I feel good!

::The crowd cheers again. They chant “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” Cappa smiles.::

Josh Matthews:
Now Mad Cappa, you know that Tha Puerto Rican is now on HeldDOWN also, so even though you have defeated him, he says he will not take it down gently. Would you offer Tha Puerto Rican a rematch for the Puerto Rican Championship?

Cappa:
Tha Puerto Rican, Puerto Rican Lightning, whatever you want to call yourself. If you want to become Puerto Rican Champion again, just challenge me face-to-face. Because I am NOT like you. I don’t run away. I don’t hide behind my girlfriend. I don’t piss. I don’t moan. I don’t bitch. I FIGHT! And I will make sure to defend this title night after night, against all challengers and it includes YOU! The Mad Cappa is going to be one of the OaOasT’s brightest stars. YOU will not stop me. And neither will your Lightning Crew. I will give it my all, 100%, because I got a second chance to compete. I should be in a wheelchair right now, but I am 100% healthy and ready for what life has in store for me! Because, The Mad Cappa, because I AM ready for the challenges ahead. If I could overcome a crushed larynx, then I can overcome you and The Lightning Crew! You cannot beat me, and I proved it at AngleMania III when I kicked out of the P.R. Nightmare! I AM better than you, and you can’t accept it. Don’t ask just accept it! I am at my best. I am—AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Michael Cole:
Hey! Wait a minute! What’s going on now!

::Mr. Boricua elbows The Mad Cappa from behind. Josh Matthews runs away as the crowd boos loudly. Mr. Boricua beats on The Mad Cappa causing him to drop the Puerto Rican Championship belt. Tha Puerto Rican enters the fray and laughs evilly.::

MC:
Mr. Boricua with a sneak attack on The Mad Cappa!

Coachman:
And look who is responsible for it! Tha Puerto Rican has struck again!

Caboose:
HA! HA! I love this! Tha Puerto Rican is on HeldDOWN for not even 2 hours, and already he is dominating! Look at him beat the crap out of that puny Cappa! Yeah! That a way, P.R.! Show him who’s the better man!

::Mr. Boricua slams Mad Cappa into the wall. Tha Puerto Rican yells out “FINISH HIM!” Mad Cappa is dazed and confused. Mr. Boricua clutches Cappa’s throat causing the crowd to boo.::

MC:
NO!

::Mr. Boricua gives The Mad Cappa a chokeslam on the concrete to loud groans.::

MC:
A CHOKESLAM! MR. BORICUA! THAT DAMN MR. BORICUA, BY ORDER OF THA PUERTO RICAN, HAS JUST ATTACKED THE MAD CAPPA FROM BEHIND AND HAS GIVEN HIM A CHOKESLAM!

Coach:
The MAD CAPPA IS NOW ON THE FLOOR, COUGHING, AND HOLDING HIS BACK IN PAIN!

Caboose:
This is great! CRAPPA is getting what he deserves for beating Tha Puerto Rican at AngleMania III! The bastard deserves anything and everything he gets! This is great!

::The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as P.R. and Mr. Boricua look over Mad Cappa. Mr. Boricua yells, grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. P.R. saids “Good job. Good job.” Tha Puerto Rican stands over The Mad Cappa with the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt. P.R. laughs.::

Tha Puerto Rican:
CRAPPA! This isn’t over, Cappa! This isn’t over! Not at all! Not by a long shot! This is FAR from over! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

::Tha Puerto Rican spits at Mad Cappa and drops the Puerto Rican Championship belt onto The Mad Cappa. P.R. and Mr. Boricua walk away. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as Mad Cappa lies on the concrete floor breathing hard and coughing. He struggles to get up and grabs the Puerto Rican Championship belt with him.::

Michael Cole:
That damn P.R. has attacked again! Tha Puerto Rican is bittered that he lost the Puerto Rican Championship at AngleMania III and is now getting his revenge!

Caboose:
He is angry! Can you blame him for what he’s doing!

MC:
It looks like this feud between P.R. and Cappa isn’t over. We all thought it was over at AngleMania III, but it looks like another chapter is going to be written in this feud. A feud that has lasted 1 year.

Coach:
Is someone going to help Mad Cappa?

Caboose:
Nah. Just let him stay there on the floor and suffer pain!

Michael Cole:
Will you stop?

::The Mad Cappa gets on his knees, coughing and catching his breath. He grabs the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt and gets up. The crowd cheers.::

The Mad Cappa:
I’m going to get you, P.R.!

::The crowd cheers as Cappa leaves with the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship on his right arm.::

[Chanel #99]

MC
Welcome back. I'm not going to mince words here, but I just heard that something major is going down at the hospital currently occupied by OAOAST Superstar Ragdoll, who is still recovering from injuries suffered awhile ago. Let's go there now.

-The camera fades into a Hospital. We see three people walk in through the front door. They are Ken Baker (K-Money), Josie Saari Baker, and Brian Kendrick (Spanky). They walk towards the front desk and smile at the woman sitting behind it. She smiles back and nods, before pointing over towards a long hallway. Without speaking, the three make their way down the long hallway, before stopping at a door marked 435. Ken knocks on it and waits. The door opens slowly, revealing Jasmine Baker. She smiles and hugs Ken, then Josie, before motioning for them to come in. All three shuffle in as the camera shows who lays in the bed. It is Austin Baker (Ragdoll). He looks up from his issue of SLAP and sighs.

AUSTIN
...What're you doing here? I said no visitors.

KEN
Austin, we're not here to...

AUSTIN
What?...Help?

KEN
...to cause a ruckus. Regardless of whether or not you want to admit it, you ARE my baby brother and I love you. I'm here to help you.

AUSTIN
I don't want it.

KEN
...want what?

AUSTIN
Your help, you Hollywood piece of shit! You're just doing this because you want glitz and glamour and because you want everyone in the OAOAST to think you're some fucking saint.

KEN
....I quit, Austin...

AUSTIN
...What?

KEN
I quit...I told Watts and Northstar yesterday that I couldn't do it anymore.

AUSTIN
Wh...Why not?

KEN
Well, for one reason, I have a baby girl at home...I don't want her to never see her dad, so I'm taking some time off.

AUSTIN
I'm an uncle? Since when? Wait...Josie was pregnant?

KEN
Yep...that's why she was never on TV, she was always home. We've had Candice for about a week now.

AUSTIN
Well...where is she?

KEN
With Josie's mom...the other reason why I quit, Austin, is because I couldn't stand to go out to that ring and wrestle while you were here. You made the right decision to quit your addiction, and I'm going to be here to help you every step of the way. I love you, bro...and I'm not going to give up on you.

-Austin, for the first time in nearly a decade, has visible tears welling up in his eyes. He smiles slightly before wiping the tears away. Suddenly, another knock is heard. Jasmine goes over towards the the door and opens it.

JASMINE
...Who are you?

PERSON
A friend...can I come in?

JASMINE
Yeah, sure...

-Jasmine slowly walks back towards the bed as Austin finishes wiping his eyes. He looks up slowly, before his face is overrun with a look of shock.

AUSTIN
Melanie?!

MELANIE
Hey, Austin...I...

AUSTIN
Wh...What are you doing here?

MELANIE
I came to check up on you...

AUSTIN
How'd you find me?

KEN
I told her.

-Austin glances over at Ken before looking back at Melanie. She steps slowly towards him as Jasmine lays on the bed beside him.

MELANIE
I...I just came to say...I forgive you for what you did seven months ago.

AUSTIN
Why...you forgive me?

MELANIE
Yep...I know now that that wasn't the Austin Baker that I was in love with...I know now that that wasn't the man that loved life and everyone that was in it...that was Ragdoll. And although you let that part of you take over, I am so proud of you for kicking it out. I am SO proud of Austin Baker. So I forgive you.

-Austin is now visibly crying. He looks around at the entire crew of people. He looks at Melanie, who he hurt physically a long time ago; Brian Kendrick, whose arm he broke while addicted to heroin; Josie, who he caused so much mental pain; and last but not least, his brother Ken, whom he constantly tormented and hurt, but who kept coming back to help. He looks at all of them and cries.

AUSTIN
I've had a rough year...I'm so sorry!

-Ken, now also teary eyed moves toward the bedside and hugs Austin, who in return, hugs back. The two hug while everyone else smiles, everyone in the room teary eyed, as the screen fades to black.

[Chanel #99]

COACH
That was pretty emotional, what we saw before the commercial break.

COLE
Yeah, it was. I want to say, on behalf of everyone here at HeldDOWN~!, that we wish Austin "Ragdoll" Baker and his extended family of sorts the best of luck in the future, and that it was a pleasure to have them here. We'll miss you, Rags.

CABOOSE
Take care, Rags.

MC
Folks, next up is our big 24/7 Title match, as the new reigning champion, Crystal, takes on Hoff! GM Northstar made this match earlier tonight, and with the exploding popularity of both these stars, I think it's safe to say that he's finally giving the fans something they want!

CABOOSE
Screw the fans. What I want to know is how Hoff's gonna be able to focus on a title match with that big monster Gibraltar breathing down his neck?

COLE
Earlier tonight we did see Hoff and Gibraltar get into a confrontation. Guys, whatever he may say, I think Hoff's still got something to prove!

COACH
Well he did say that he's bigger, badder, and better than Gibraltar, but guys, I'm not so sure!

COLE
After what the moster Gibraltar did to Brock Ausstin last Sunday at Anglemania, I can't say I'm sure either. But Hoff seemed has seemed so focused, so determined as of late--

CABOOSE
LEt's get back to the match at hand, guys. Does Hoff really think he has a chance here?

COACH
Why 'Booze, I never knew you were a fellow Crystal fan. Are you in the secret club?

CABOOSE
Secret...secret club? DAMMIT, Coach, NO! God, get a life. What I'm saying is that Crystal's a multi-time champion, and Hoff has never even had a title match. In fact, outside of a few no-names, I don't think he's beaten...anybody!

COLE
But that could all change tonight!

Michael Buffer steps into the ring.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST TWENTY-FOUR-SEVENNNNNNNN CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!

The fans cheer...then get out of their seats as the lights dim!

BUFFER
Introducing first, the challenger...

A ROAR goes up from the fans as Sevendust's "Black" hits the arena speakers!! The roar gorws LOUDER as a spotlight appears on the stage, and out steps Hoff!

BUFFER
From Minneapolis, Minnesota, he weighs in at 275 pounds. Entering the first singles' title contest of his young career, here is.....HOFF!!!!

Hoff stands on the top of the ramp, sweeping his gaze across the packed crowd. Smiling slightly, he walks down to the ring. Hoff slides in under the bottom rope and rolls to his feet, climbing the turnbuckle and raising one fist in the air to salute the crowd! The lights come back up as Hoff's music fades out of the arena...

BUFFER
And....his opponent!

...and is replaced by the opening strains of No Doubt's "Just a Girl" as the fans go WILD! Smoke pours onto the entranceway, and red probe lights flash across the arena!

BUFFER
From Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada, weighing in at 128 pounds, she is known the world over as the "Female Phenom" and has broken height, weight, and gender barriers to become one of the top wrestlers in the world today....the OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Champion.....CRRRRRRRYSTALLLLLLL!!!!!!!

Crystal steps through the smoke and fog, wearing her newly-won 24/7 title belt! She walks briskly down to the ring before sliding in and climbing the ropes! Crystal points her index finger to the sky, then takes her belt off and hoists in into the air to a HUGE ovation!

COACH
She looks beautiful. *sniff*

CABOOSE
You always say that.

Crystal hops down off the turnbuckle and hands the 24/7 title to the referee. The official shows the belt to Hoff, who nods, then raises it into the air before handing it to the timekeeper.

COLE
This is what it's all about. The 24/7 Title.

The bell rings and Hoff and Crystal take a step toward each other, then stop as a "Crys-tal, Crys-tal" chant breaks out at ringside. Both competitors stop in their tracks and look at each other. Hoff then turns his head towards the fans, shooting them a slightly annoyed but playful look...and in response a "Hoff" chant picks up in another section of the building!

COLE
The crowd loves both of these two!

Hoff turns back to face Crystal, a smug smile on his lips. Crystal frowns and puts her hands on her hips...and in response a huge "CRYSTAL" chant breaks out and drowns the other chant out!

COACH
Yeah! Crystal, Crystal!

CABOOSE
Alcohol...alcohol.

Crystal looks back at Hoff, who chuckles slightly. Hoff looks out around the fans...then back to Crystal, whose gaze turns serious. The chants taper off as Hoff's smile also fades, and he stretches his neck out.

COLE
What a great show of support for both these competitors--

CABOOSE
THE BELL RANG LIKE A MINUTE AGO!!

COACH
Easy, tiger.

CABOOSE
Don't ever call me that again.

Crystal and Hoff finally begin to circle, each looking the other over.

CABOOSE
In fact, don't ever call me anything again.

COACH
But how am I supposed to talk to you?

CABOOSE
Interesting conundrum.

Crystal steps toward Hoff, but Hoff jumps to the side and darts away. Crystal shoots in for a takedown, but Hoff steps to the side and then rolls away. Crystal scowls...and Hoff stops. Hoff steps toward Crystal, and raises his arm in the air!

COLE
Wait a minute, is he doing what I think he's doing?

Hoff smiles and tells Crystal to "come on," flexing his fingers. Crystal's eyes narrow.

COLE
A test of strength? Come on, I love Crystal, but no way she wins this.

Hoff waves Crystal on, but she just looks at him and shakes her head no. Hoff puts down his arm and shrugs.

CABOOSE
Well hey, he's right -- it was worth a shot.

The "Crystal" chant picks up again as the competitors circle. Finally, Hoff shoots in and throws a clothesline, but Crystal ducks! Hoff turns around, and Crystal catches him with a knife edge chop!

COACH
WOOOO! Go Crystal!

Crystal throws a few more chops that redden Hoff's chest. Hoff reels backwards into the ropes, and Crystal whips him across the ring. Hoff comes off the far side, and Crystal leapfrogs him. Hoff bounds off the near ropes, come toward Crystal, and Crystal bends down, but Hoff leapfrogs her!

CABOOSE
Leapfrog from HOFF? The hell?

COLE
We've seen him use some surprising agility in there before.

CABOOSE
Still...

Hoff shoots off the other side, and catches Crystal with a shoulderblock before she can react. Crystal goes down hard and rolls over backwards from the impact...but pops right onto her feet and charges at Hoff, taking him down with a SPEAR!

COLE
Nice move by Crystal! It takes a lot of dexterity and ring presence to land on your feet after a bump like that.

COACH
HOW DARE HE HIT HER?

CABOOSE
It's a WRESTLING MATCH, Chachi.

Crystal begins hammering Hoff with lefts and rights! Hoff lifts his arms to protect himself, and so Crystal stands up and beings stomping him in the ribs! Hoff curls up before eventually rolling to the outside!

COLE
Hoff taking a powder here.

CABOOSE
You blame him? Crystal looks focused.

COLE
She's determined to keep her new title and-- hey wait!

Hoff catches his breath on the outside, leaning on the ring apron...until Crystal kicks him off of it with a baseball slide!

COACH
WHAT A MOVE!!

COLE
Nice baseball slide dropkick by the champ, and Hoff is reeling!

Hoff holds the side of his face as he stumbles away from the ring. However, Crystal rolls to the outside, grabs Hoff, and throws him back into the ring as the fans cheer!

COLE
Crystal's keeping this one in the ring tonight!

Crystal follows Hoff into the ring. Hoff stumbles to his feet, but Crystal meets him with another stiff chop and sends him into the ropes. Hoff comes off, and Crystal catches him with a high flipping dropkick! Hoff hits the canvas, and Crystal lands on her feet. Crystal turns her back to Hoff, and nails him with a standing moonsault! Crystal covers Hoff!

ONE!



TWO!





KICKOUT!

COLE
Crystal's really had the upper hand so far.

Crystal pulls Hoff up off the mat and throws a roundhouse kick to his stomach. Hoff doubles over, and Crystal swings him to the mat with a neckbreaker. Crystal hops to her feet and drops a leg across Hoff's throat. She goes for the cover, but Hoff again kicks out at two. Crystal gets up to the mat and pulls Hoff up again, and grabs him in a rear waistlock, trying to arch him over in a German suplex...but Hoff resists the move!

COACH
Come on girl!

CABOOSE
That's 275 on 128, Coach. It's a big difference.

Crystal tries to bridge back again, but Hoff blocks the move with his leg before throwling a reverse elbow to Crystal's face. Hoff throws another elbow, and Crystal breaks the hold. Hoff quickly oulls a standing switch and hooks Crystal from behind! Hoff lifts HER up....but Crystal shifts her weight and rolls forward, catching Hoff ina rollup! The ref administers the count!

ONE!




TWO!






THREENO~! KICKOUT!

COLE
Great counter there by Crystal!

CABOOSE
Absolutely. She knows that Hoff's game, by and large, revolves around power. She's got to avoid getting suplexed or thrown around in there.

Both competeitors pop to their feet. Hoff throws a clothesline, but again Crystal ducks! As Hoff spins around, Crystal catches him with a stiff right hand! Crystal catches Hoff in the temple, and Hoff spins around. Crystal wastes no time in goign back to the rear waistlock, and this time takes him over with a beautiful release German suplex!

COACH
YEAH!

CABOOSE
Whoa! Nice power by the champ there!

Hoff uses the corner to help himself up as Crystal springs to her feet. Crystal begs Hoff on as the fans cheer! Hoff turns around, and Crystal kicks him in the gut! Crystal hooks him in a front face lock, but Hoff grabs her around the waist and takes her over with a Northern Lights suplex!

CABOOSE
You know how you can't power bomb Kidman?

COLE
Yeah?

CABOOSE
Well, I'm starting to think you can't DDT Hoff.

COACH
Wait, who's Kidman? (zing~)

Hoff holds on to the bridge, but the move only gets a two count. Crystal actually beats Hoff to his feet, and runs toward him, but Hoff catches her with a quick release belly-to-belly suplex!

CABOOSE
This is exactly where Crystal DOESN'T want to be.

COLE
Hoff can change the tide of a match so fast in there--

COACH
CRYSTAL! Get up!

Coach looks very concerned as Crystal holds her back in pain. Hoff gets to his feet. The fans are booing...but Hoff looks over the crowd and the boos turn to cheers!

COLE
This crowd is STILL split!

CABOOSE
That's great, but Hoff's wasting too much time in there.

Hoff heads over to where Crystal is lying and picks her up. He scoops her and slams her down to the canvas, then hits a legdrop of hos own across Crystal's chest!

COACH AND COLE
NOT HER CHEST!

CABOOSE
Wait, Michael, not you too?

COLE
Hey...a man has priorities, 'kay?

Hoff rolls over into a lateral press, but Crystal gets her shoulder up at two. Hoff gets to his feet and pulls Crystal up. He whips her into the ropes. Hoff throws a clothesline as Crystal comes off the far side, but again Crystal ducks! SHe comes off the other side and launches into a cross body block...but Hoff catches her!

COLE
Uh-oh, Crystal in a bad way here!

Holding Crystal, Hoff walks over to the corner, then drops her across his knee!

CABOOSE
Nice variation on the backbreaker there, kind of a rib breaker...oh what is he thinking.

Hoff steps through the ropes and onto the apron as the fans cheer!

COLE
Hoff is going up high!

CABOOSE
No, it's too soon!

Hoff climbs onto the ropes. Tenatively, he gets to the top. Still crouched, Hoff looks down at Crystal, who's motionless on the mat. Hoff looks out across the crowd...and CRYSTAL POPS TO HER FEET!

COLE
What the hell? Crystal was playing possum!

Hoff's eyes go wide as Crystal scales the buckle! Hoff tries to shove her off, but Crystal catches him with a quick shot to the gut, and another! Crystal climbs all the way to the top rope...and SUPERPLEXES HIM OFF!

CABOOSE AND COLE
WHOA!

COACH
AWWWWWWWWW yeah~! What a big bad move by Crystal! Oh yeah, oh yeah...

Crystal floats over into the cover!

ONE!





TWO!








THREENO!

Hoff barely kicks out of the pin attempt!

COLE
How did Crystal get Hoff over for that?

CABOOSE
It's simple physics, Cole. All Crystal had to do was hook Hoff up and fall back. Still...mighty impressive.

The fans begin to chant "Crystal" as the champion gets to her feet. She pulls Hoff up and slams back down to the mat....and heads to the ropes!

COLE
This could be the end!

Crystal checks over her shoulder, springboards off the ropes, and arches backwards....but Hoff rolls out of the way!!

COACH
DAMMIT!

COLE
Diamond in the Rough, but nobody home!

Both Crystal and Hoff lie on the mat, trying to find their feet!

COACH
Come on Crystal! Beat this son of a--

COLE
Coach, why are you so seemingly mad at Hoff?

Coach looks down.

COACH
You really wanna know?

COLE
Yes.

CABOOSE
No.

COACH
Well...I'm a little miffed I never got that Playstation 2.

Cole and Caboose look at each other quizzically.

COLE
Wait......you're mad Hoff didn't DIE?

COACH
....A little.

CABOOSE
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....oh man, that is great!!!!! Ah ha....

COLE
Would you stop? Jeez, both of you. We've got a 24/7 title match to call!

Both Hoff and Crystal use the ropes to pull themselves up. They meet in the center of the ring, and Crystal kick at Hoff, but Hof catches the boot, spins her around, and rolls her up in a quick schoolboy!

ONE!



TWO!




KICKOUT!

Both competitors get to their feet. Hoff kicks Crystal in the midsection, and hooks her for a vertical suplex, but Crystal tunrs the move into an inside cradle!

ONE



TWO!




KICKOUT!

COLE
Look at this!

Both competitors get up again, and again Hoff catches Crystal with a boot to the midsection! Hoff pulls Crystal into a standing headscissors! Hoff slashes his arms, but Crystal pulls out of the position and grabs Hoff's legs! Crystal pulls Hoff down in a double leg takedown, then holds onto his legs and flips over him into a bridge!

ONE!




TWO!





THREENO! Kickout!

CABOOSE
Some quickness out of both competitors!

Crystal pulls Hoff to his feet, then grabs his arm! Crystal swings her feet up, and catches Hoff's other arm, taking him down with a crucifix rollup!

ONE!



TWO!



NO! And Hoff shifts his weight, rolling on top of Crystal!

ONE!



TWO!




KICKOUT!

Both competitors pop up as the fans cheer....but the cheers turn to boos as the fans look to the entranceway!

COLE
Wait, what's this?

COACH
It's St. Andrew and Gibraltar!

The fans jeer as Gibraltar storms to the ring, with St. Andrew yelling directions every step of the way.

COLE
Come on, he's gonna ruin a great 24/7 title match!

CABOOSE
I think that's the point, Michael.

In the ring, Hoff looks at Crystal, Crystal looks at Hoff, then both turn their attention to the moster approaching the ring! Hoff walks to the near side of the ring as Gibraltar approaches. Suddenly, as Gibraltar nears, Hoff grabs the top rope and dives to the outside, catching Gibraltar with a big cross body!

COLE
Whoa!

COACH
Dayum!

The fans cheer like mad as Hoff begins pounding on Gibraltar with right hands! St. Andrew tries to pull Hoff off, but Hoff catches him with a back elbow! Hoff then gets off of Gibraltar and comes after St. Andrew!

COLE
Yeah, get him Hoff!

Andrew backs up the ramp quickly as Hoff stalks toward him...but Gibraltar catches him from behind with a big forearm shot!

COLE
Aw come on, cheap shot! It's 2 on 1, this is no fair!

Gibraltar spins Hoff around and catches him with a stiff shot to the forehead! Hoff spins and falls to the ramp! Andrew pops to his feet and stomps at Hoff! Gibraltar picks Hoff up again, but this time Hoff catches him with a shot to the face! Gibraltar reels, and Hoff reaches up and grabs him by the head, dragging him to the entranceway and throwing him into the back! Andrew follows Hoff and Gibraltar to the back!

COLE
Well Gibraltar has made his presence felt here tonight!

In the ring, Crystal looks on, not sure what to think...until the bell rings!

COLE
What?

CABOOSE
It's safe to say the match is over.

The official takes the 24/7 title and hands it to Crystal, and the fans cheer!

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen...Hoff has been counted out! Therefore, the winner of this contest.....CRYSTAL!!

COLE
Counted out?

CABOOSE
Well hey, what else is the ref gonna do?

COACH
Who cares. Crystal won!

"I'm Just a Girl" kicks up over the arena loudspeakers as Crystal looks down at her belt. Crystal looks out aross the fans, and simply shrugs, and climbs the ropes, belt held high!

COLE
Wel, Crystal certainly deserved the win here, but I'm not sure this is how she'd have liked it! What other damage can Gibraltar and St. Andrew cause?

COACH
This is a situation that is about ready to explode, but up next...our new World Champion speaks. Back with more hD~! in three!

[Chanel #99]

COACH
I'm not going to waste much time here at Sofa Central, as I do not want to steal any of this man's spotlight. Without any further ado, let's go to the ring, as Michael Cole is going to address our BRAND NEW World Heavyweight Champion, Zack Malibu. Michael, take it away!

(Cut to ring, where Michael Cole is standing. There's a red carpet covering the entire aisleway to the ring, as well as a seperate red carpet covering the ring mat.)

MC
Ladies and gentlemen, it's the moment you've all been waiting for the entire night. At Anglemania III, this man overcame all of the odds and defeated his mortal rival, Totally Endorsed's Calvin Szechstein for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of the biggest show in OAOAST history, Anglemania III. (crowd slowly rises in bunches, getting louder as the seconds go by) He is the premier athlete and personality of HeldDOWN~!...ladies and gentlemen, give it up for YOUR Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOORLD, Zack Malibu!

("Bring Me to Life" blasts through the arena, as the entire audience rises and blows the roof off of the building as Zack Malibu comes to the ring, wearing a blue polo shirt, khakis, and his World Title belt. Confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling as Zack slaps hands with all of the fans sitting on the front row, and then enters the ring, and climbs on the second rope on two sides of the ring, as fireworks explode above the ring and on the entrance set. Zack then steps down and comes to mid-ring with Cole, and the crowd is still on their feet and giving Zack a standing ovation. Zack looks to be even shedding a tear or two.)

COACH
Without a doubt, this is a very emotional moment for all of us here at HeldDOWN~!, and for all of you watching at home.

CABOOSE
These people need to shut up, I can't hear myself think!

(The crowd finally settles down a bit, so the microphone can be heard clearly in the arena.)

MC
Zack...all I have to say is congratulations, champ! It's been a long struggle, and you definately deserve this more than anyone else here! I'll leave the ring and let you have the mic to yourself.

(Cole leaves the ring and goes back to the commentary booth)

ZACK
Thank you very much, Michael. And to all of you at home, I want to thank each and every one of you who stood by my side each and every week. The more the odds got stacked against me, the more that I got shoved down, the more bleak things got...you people got behind me even more. If it weren't for you people, I probably wouldn't have the motivation to do what I had to do to finally win the single most cherished prize in this business back. For that, I thank you, the HeldDOWN~! fans! (the fans rise again for another huge standing ovation)

COACH
You can NEVER say that our new World Champion isn't proud of his fans!

ZACK
Now that I have that out of the way...

("Orange Crush" starts to blare throughout the building, and Sly Sommers comes out wearing a custom-made designer suit, with a giant smile on his face. Zack has a very angry look on his face in the ring as Sly taunts the fans sitting close to the aisleway. He puts his hand out to one fan, but pulls it back as soon as the fan goes to slap it. He then picks up a balloon, offers it to a kid, and pops the balloon in the kid's face. Sly then struts into the ring, and pulls a microphone out of his pocket.)

COACH
I know Sly had a huge win over Peter Knight at Anglemania, but this is Zack's time to celebrate, damn it!

ZACK
What in the hell do you want?

SLY
It's not what the hell I want...it's what the hell I NEED. Zack, I NEED my time in the spotlight. Zack, I NEED the attention I damn well deserve. So, I am going to take this time and attention from you for my own personal gain! It's not like you need it...I mean, everything around here is, "Zack Malibu this" or "Zack Malibu that"! It makes me sick to my stomach!

ZACK
I deserved every single thing I got here!

SLY
If you actually deserve all the breaks you've gotten around here, then guys like me deserve entire countries named after us! Now, I'm going to start talking, and all you're going to do is stand right there and be a good little boy.

ZACK
Who in the hell is gonna make me?

SLY
It's not "who" that's going to make you; it's "what" that will make you obey me. Zack...to say you and me have a past is an understatement. I mean, we go WAY back. But, none of these people know that. Hell, a lot of the newer guys in the back don't even know that! If you want this secret to stay a secret, you'll let me have my time here to speak, uninterupted...

ZACK
You wouldn't....

SLY
(gets right up in Zack's face) Try me, Zack...just try me.

ZACK
Okay, fine. Say your piece, and get the hell out of my sight!

SLY
No, it's not going to be working that way. I get my time, uninterrupted, for as long as I want...or the secret comes out.

ZACK
Fine, fine.

SLY
Good, I'm glad you agree with me. Now...(backs off from Zack)...First off, let me congratulate you on the big win on Sunday. Cal's one of my best friends, and probably the most talented wrestler here not named "Sly Sommers". But at the same time, you stole something from Totally Endorsed. You performed the worst theft of them all, and that was the theft of the cornerstone of greatness. You stole the World Heavyweight Title from us. Rest assured, come April 25th, we will get that belt back, and I will bring it back home.

MC
Strong words from a cocky young man.

SLY
But, I'm not just out to win that belt from Colvid and Cal. I'm out for myself, moi, number one himself...me. I've wanted the gold every since I first set foot inside a wrestling ring. Sure, I've been the X Division Champion. That was a fun time. Sure, I once held the WCW World Television Title, and that was cool and all...but I still found myself, stuck in the middle of the card against inferior opponents who are, by far, below me.

CABOOSE
You tell 'em, Sly!

SLY
There's only one belt that guarentees a top slot on every show. There's only one belt that guarantees you top billing on promotional ads. There's only one belt that makes you a worldwide celebrity. There's only one belt that makes you immortal. There's only one belt that turns you into a legend just by wearing it! That belt...is currently around your waist. I want that fame, I want that glory, and I want that immortality. I want it so bad that I can taste it.

COACH
I hope, for his sake, that Sly means what he's saying!

SLY
Zack, history has shown that anything I've wanted, I've gotten. I wanted to be an elite member of this company from the second I signed my contract, and about a month in, I joined Totally Endorsed, the single most elite group of athletes alive today! I wanted the X Division Championship, and I won that in a cage match against TWO other men! Can you say you had to go against those types of odds to win your belt?

MC
Zack Malibu had all of the odds in the universe stacked against him, and he overcame them!

SLY
I wanted to ensure that I would be the first man in line for a World Title shot after Anglemania III, so I took it to one of the most intense competitors in this promotion, Peter Knight, and I beat him in the middle of this ring! Trust me...I want the World Heavyweight Title more than ANYTHING in the world, and I'll go through you as often as possible until I have it in my possession. I will make sure this current reign of yours becomes the most embarrassing in the history of the company. I mean, how good would it look for HeldDOWN~! if the man who came out on top in the biggest show of all-time in the main event dropped the belt a month later?

CABOOSE
Malibu's a shame to this industry!

COACH
Will you shut up?

SLY
I'm going to make sure this title reign of yours embarrasses this company as much as you have! Zack...face it, you're overrated. It's ironic that we're here on April Fool's Day since, after all, you are the biggest fool in this company! The only reason that you are in the spot you're in now is because of the fact that you pander to these lemmings, and since the lemmings buy the tickets, merchandise, and Pay-Per-Views that support HeldDOWN~!'s cash flow, you have to be given more opportunities than anyone else here. You're about as deserving of that belt as I am of castration!

MC
I pity the poor fellow who has to perform that on Sly!

SLY
By holding that belt, you disgrace every great competitor to ever be the top dog in this great sport of ours. First off, you're a disgrace to the name. If I can revert back to my roots for a second, Zack Morris, who you've based your persona off of, never pandered to the people. Zack Morris never was an honest, smiley good guy. Zack Morris cheated every chance he could, and cut every corner possible. Face it: Mark-Paul Gosselaar would kick your ass if he saw you on the street right now!

CABOOSE
Mark-Paul is a cop now, you know!

MC
Only on "NYPD Blue", you dimwit.

CABOOSE
He's still more real on there than Malibu ever will be!

SLY
By holding that belt, you disgrace these people you like to call your fans who support this sport, by making a sham out of the sport they love by being an undeserving champion. You disgrace every guy in that locker room, especially the ones who deserve that belt way more than your spoiled ass ever will! Most of all, you disgrace yourself, coming out here every week as the "Pissed Off Prep", a bad-ass yuppie, which is by far the biggest oxymoron I've heard in my life. The fact that you get all of this attention and fame disgusts me, Zack.

COACH
This is going a bit far now...

SLY
(bends down so that he's at eye-level with Zack's World Title belt)

CROWD
"Sly sucks cock! Sly sucks cock!"

SLY
(looks out at crowd) First off, I do not do that! The only guy around here that does that is the one wearing the big gold belt! (Zack looks down, with his face turning redder by the second) Now, I'm talking directly to you, Mr. World Title Belt...don't worry. You're coming home soon. What is that? Oh yes...Zack, the belt says it wants shined thoroughly twice a day. But, World Title Belt, you won't be with this disgrace of a champion for long. I know he doesn't deserve to hold you, and he'll lose you soon enough.

MC
Sly's gone off the deep end!

SLY
(comes back to standing position) Zack, I hope I've gotten across my point to you. (gets right up in Zack's face) Zack, you're not looking at the future of this business any longer. You're looking at the new present-tense superstar of professional wrestling, and he says that, in his world, you mean absolutely nothing! (Sly looks down, takes a deep breath, and then spits a loogie in Zack's face)

MC
Damn it, that was uncalled for!

Sly turns around, and cockily poses with a big smile on his face. Zack wipes the snot and saliva off of his face angrily, and takes a couple of steps back. Sly then turns around, and walks right into School's Out!

COACH
Way to go, Zack!

MC
Give that bastard what he deserves!

CABOOSE
I'm ashamed of both of you! Where's your professionalism?

Zack grabs the belt from around his waist, and holds it in the air as the crowd applauds him and takes pictures of their favorite superstar with the big, gold belt. Zack then walks out of the ring, and up the aisleway to slap hands with the fans as he leaves the arena. Right as Zack gets to the top of the aisle, a dazed Sly sits up and picks up the microphone. Zack turns around to see what Sly has to say.

SLY
Zack...Zack, I told you that if you interrupted me that I would reveal the one secret between you and me that you NEVER wanted to be revealed. Next week...consider the cat let out of the bag!

MC
What could Sly possibly be meaning? How is this going to effect the World Title picture, and Zack Malibu in particular? This situation has already exploded, and we're still three weeks away from the big World Title match between these two! We're out of time! See you next week!

We fade to black as Sly and Zack intensely stare at each other from where they're at in the building.

*End Of Show*

[Chanel #99]

PROPS
Me
Zack
Hoff
Damaramu
What?
NY Untouchable
Kingpk
Mystery Eskimo
Spiderpoet
Papacita
PRL