OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 3/11/04

[Chanel #99]

Instead of the usual opening video we’re treated to this Video Package~!

[A deep, bass-like thud sounds, and as it hits and fades out, we see a slow-mo shot of Goblin and Widow standing over the prone form of SpiderPoet. Fade to black.]

[Another deep thud, this time slightly louder. A shot in time with it of a pair of red boots with white webs steps onto the hD~! entrance set. The camera is on the stage itself, and all we see are the boots. The fans in the background are cheering, though there is no audio. Only the resounding bass from the thud. Fade to black.]

[The thud hits again, this time louder than before. A strings section stirs softly with a sorrowful rising sound. The shot is a slow-motion shot of the Dark Poet walking along the arena rooftop from IntenseZone last year. Fade to black.]

[Another Thud. This time with these simple words: It's Happening Again.

ANGLEMANIA 3]

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!




The opening pyro EXPLODES into the air as the crowd is whipped into a frenzy! They hold up their signs as the camera pans the arena. Finally we settle in on Sofa Central and two familiar faces and one new one.

Michael Cole: The Road to Anglemania CONTINUES!

Caboose: Are you going to start every show like that?

Cole: As a matter of fact, I am! Today the ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA takes us to Philadelphia! This may be the city of brotherly love, but tonight's going to be anything but LOVELY!

Caboose: Oh brother....damn it, you've got me started also!

Cole: Fans, Jonathan Coachman has been delayed backstage due to filming of an overdose scene for "3 Stages of Hell", so subbing for him is none other than....JEWEL!

Jewel: Hi America.

Cole: Thanks for sitting in with us, Jewel. On the ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA, we'll be seeing Axel defend his newly won 24/7 championship against the Rookie, Chris Bryte!

Jewel: Wow.

Cole: Plus Hoff and Mad Matt are both in action and we're guaranteed to see more steamy developments from the saga that is Ryan Smith and Damaramu!

Jewel: Sounds great.

Cole: ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA, Jewel! It sounds better then great. IT SOUNDS AWESOME! ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA! CHANT IT WITH ME!

Cole and Jewel: Anglemania....Anglemania...ANGLEMANIA!

Caboose: Man, I'm too sober for this shit.

Cole: I'm not! For some reason, Josh Duhamel is in our ring! The opening segment is reserved for wrestlers, not primadonna actors! I'm sure he's out here to run down the hard work our athletes put in night in and out. I hope someone pelts him with a peanut that goes in his mouth, down his throat, and chokes him to death

Jewel: Quit being so mean spirited and listen to what he has to say. Then if you don't like it, you can criticize.

Cole: Fair enough.

(Like Cole said, Josh is standing in the center of the ring. He's wearing a bucket hat to cover up the wound Zack gave him last week.)

Josh Duhamel: Good evening America! I would like to rap with you about wrestling fans. During my time on "3 Stages of Hell" I've noticed that wrestling fans are incredibly odd. A fickle bunch, they flock to the nearest smokey barn and outdated arena to catch a glimpse of so called athletes. They live and die with each carefully scripted movement their heroes make, cheering these roid monkeys on to a predetermined outcome. The fans use these performers to make them feel like the man they wish they could be. Not once do they come to grips with the fact this is just an elaborate illusion. Northstar told me they live their life in a dream world, tossing aside all semblances of common sense and logic for a two hour television show. It's all pretty stupid if you ask me.

Cole: No one is, chump.

Duhamel: But wrestling fans, like fans of the arts and sports fans, all have one thing in common; they all want to be entertained! And where do these people go for to satisfy their first for quality entertainment? To the movies, where else! That is why I am privileged and honored to bring you the first ever sneak peek at the last movie you'll ever need to see, "3 Stages of Hell"!

(The fans meet this announcement with a round of boos and taunts)

Duhamel: I know, you want to see the whole movie! But you'll have to wait until August. For now enjoy this clip.

(We go to a scene from "3 Stages of Hell". Vance Mackman played by James Woods is sitting in his office, talking to Max Blaze played by Josh Duhamel.)

Mr.Mackman: Max, do you like working for RPW?

Max: Sure, I guess.

Mr.Mackman: You guess?

Max: Yes. Yes I like working for RPW. There's no other company I'd rather work for, I guess.

Mr.Mackman: You guess? There are those two nasty words again. Doesn't sound to me that you're committed to being the best that RPW has to offer. I only want people on my roster who have the drive to be the top dog in this industry.

Max: I want to be the best, sir.

Mr.Mackman: Do you? It seems to me that you're willing to talk the talk, but not walk the walk. You want to be the best? Prove it.

Max: How?
(Mr.Mackman reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bottle of anabolic substances. He pushes it across the desk and at Max, who slowly backs way from the jar)

(Back to the arena)

Josh: Entertainment at its finest, friends! I don't how you'll be able to wait until August to get a view at this guaranteed Oscar winner!

Cole: More like guaranteed Razzie winner.

Jewel: It won't be that bad.

Josh: Rest assured, that we here on the "3 Stages of Hell" set will be working closely with the HeldDOWN crew to bring you more sneak peaks at this summer’s most anticipated film, "3 Stages of Hell". Throughout the spring and summer you can expect the cast of "3 Stages of Hell" to play a more active role on HeldDOWN. Can you handle the heat?

("Trust me" by Lucy Woodward plays as Josh exits the ring to a chorus of boos! He pretends that they're cheers and bows to the fans as he makes his way up the ramp)

Cole: I'd like to thank our special guest, Jewel for filling in for Jonathan Coachman.

Caboose: Yeah, it's nice to have someone who doesn't make awkward homoerotic comments about our boss.

Cole: And who wears deodorant.

Jewel: Ah ha. It was my pleasure to be here. Let's do it again some time. I had fun.

Cole: More fun on the way! Stick around, because Jeremy Red is in the house!

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(We come back from break with Coach replacing Jewel.)

Coach: Good to be back, peeps!

Caboose: Bad to have you back, ass.

“Higher” by Creed plays and out comes Jeremy Red for this next match. His opponent, Mike Hunt, is already in the ring.

Cole: Here comes the man who attacked Mad Matt, while he was handcuffed last week, Jeremy Red. An unfair attack on a helpless man who was injured.

Caboose: Oh please. Mad Matt was the one who attacked Jeremy Red and Matt got planted. Mad Matt would not be foolish enough to face Jeremy Red at Anglemania III after being punked decisively.

Coach: Red has a microphone and he is looking about ready to speak.

Red: Last week on this show, Mad Matt showed what happens when you rush in and hope for the best. Matt, please I am begging you. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you before you suffer an injury that you can’t walk off. To give you some time to reconsider your decision to face me and get your career ended at Anglemania III, I have put you on a restraining order of 200 feet. If you come less than 200 feet from me, you will be thrown in jail. If you still are foolish enough to think that your broken down body can withhold me at Anglemania III, then well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Red drops the microphone and attacks Mike Hunt. Red throws Hunt into the ropes and shoulderblock. Red picks up Hunt and wraps an arm around his head. DDT driving Hunt headfirst into the canvas. Red stomps away at Hunt and wraps both of his hands around his throat choking him. Red picks up Hunt and throws him into the ropes. Red knees Hunt in the ribs as he is coming off the ropes. Red grabs Hunt in a headlock and drives him down across the knee. Red backs up and drops an elbow onto Hunt. Red goes for a cover hooking the leg.


One….


Two…..


Kickout at two by Mike Hunt.

Caboose: Jeremy Red has this ham en eggar right where he wants him. All he has to do is put the finishing touches on him.

Coach: Sure he could do this to a prelim talent but can he do it to Mad Matt at Anglemania III.

Cole: Red is picking up his opponent and pounding away on him.

Red throws Mike Hunt into the ropes and huge spinebuster slam. The crowd is starting chants of “Jeremy sucks” and “We want Matt”. Red climbs to the second rope and waits on his opponent. Red leaps off the second rope and clotheslines Hunt down causing him to crash down to the canvas. Red picks up Hunt and puts him in an inverted facelock. Red blasts Hunt with a reverse DDT. Red gives the signal. He picks up Hunt but Hunt punches him. Hunt fires some more punches.

Cole: Mike Hunt is battling back.

Coach: Come Mike, you can do it. Show that no good Jeremy Red a thing or two.

Caboose: Jeremy is just luring him into a false sense of sercurity.

Hunt throws Red into the ropes and HIGH back body drop. Red flies to the canvas and Hunt hooks Red. Hunt scoops up Red and bodyslam. Hunt is climbing up to the top rope. Hunt leaps off but misses a knee off the top rope. Hunt gets up, favoring his knee and Red clips the knee. Red grabs the leg and drops a scissors stomp onto it. Red drops an elbow onto the leg. Red spins around and drops a leg onto the knee. Red reaches outside the ring and grabs a microphone.

Red: Mad Matt, this will be you at Anglemania III if you still want to face me.

Red picks up Hunt and lifts him up. Knee Crunching Atomic Drop. Red kicks Hunt’s leg out from underneath him. Red spins around the knee and Red locks Hunt in the figure-four leglock. Red is putting all the pressure on and Hunt is looking around but he is nowhere near the ropes. He submits and Jeremy Red is your winner.

Caboose: Red gave Mad Matt a little preview of the agony that he will experience at Anglemania III.

Cole: Red is not done yet. He has a steel chair.

Coach: He has some bad intentions to do with that chair.

Red raises the chair above his head but “Beware of the Shadow of Madness” plays over the loud speaker.

Cole: Mad Matt wouldn’t violate a restraining order, would he?

Caboose: Of course he would. He’s a psycopath.

Red drops the chair and the image of Mad Matt appears on the Angletron.

Matt: Jeremy Red. You attempted to take me out last week but you know what. I’m still here. I am still standing up and able to kick your ass at Anglemania III. In fact let’s make this match at Anglemania III at Streetfight. I don’t want you to get yourself disqualified or counted out to escape my wrath. That’s not all I’m afraid. When I destroy you and pin whatever is left of you at the end of the night, your contract is null and void. Your wrestling career is FINISHED. But see, what if my some miracle you win. Well, I will never step foot in a wrestling ring ever again. Just like you wanted Jeremy Red. One career will be ended while another will rise above but I can guarantee that neither of us will remain the same.

Red nods his head.

Red: You’re on Matt. The last image these morons in the crowd will see of you is lying on the mat after I pinned you for the victory.

Matt: See Jeremy, we don’t have to wait until Anglemania III. We can do this right NOW!!!

Red: You stupid son of a bitch. You have a restraining…

MAD MATT SLIDES IN THE RING BEHIND JEREMY RED WIELDING A METAL BASEBALL BAT. That video on the Angletron was pre-taped. Red sees Mad Matt swing the bat just in time to duck and get out of the ring. Red is on the ramp and Mad Matt chases Red.

Cole: I hope Matt murders him with that bat after Jeremy Red attacked him last week.

Coach: Matt looks pretty angry and looks to be doing some damage.

Caboose: Jeremy Red doesn’t want to injure Mad Matt. He is backing away to save the money making match.

Matt chases Red up the ramp and Red flees into the dressing room. Matt looks around for Red and Red is standing at the end of the hallway. Matt goes for Red but several police officers stand in his way.

Red: That psycho attempted to assault me. ARREST THAT NO GOOD SON OF A BITCH RIGHT NOW.

The police advance on Matt and Matt is handcuffed and led out building by the four cops. They are putting Mad Matt in the back of the police car. Red waves at Mad Matt and a handcuffed Mad Matt gets free and rams his shoulder into Red, knocking him down. The cops eventually restrain Matt and put him in the back of the cop car. The police car drives off and Jeremy Red looks on.

Red: Maybe a night in a cruddy jail cell, instead of a nice hotel room will help you reconsider your decision to keep attacking me when I keep trying to save you from these bloodthristy fans. If not, well at Anglemania III I will end your career and you will have no choice in it. Happy rotting, Matthew.

Coach: This has turned into one hell of a feud! Remind me not to piss off Jeremy Red.

Cole: Well, Jeremy Red's got Mad Matt seeing red! But I think at AM III, Red will be seeing the house lights, if you know what I mean.

Caboose: You give Mad Mike far to much credit. Jeremy Red is the next Triple H. A true cerebral assassin. Mad Marty's in for long night at AM

Cole: That remains to be seen. Fans we'll be back with more hot wrestling action! Stick around.

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

We cut backstage, where ZACK MALIBU~! is caught by our cameras entering the building with a purpose. Zack storms down the hallway, but as soon as he reaches the end of it, someone blocks his path...that someone being HeldDOWN~!'s very own General Manager, the ever flamboyant Northstar.

NORTHSTAR
Zackie!

Malibu shoots a glare that could freeze hell over to Northstar. Northstar does a McMahon-esque double take and gulp.

NORTHSTAR
Turn that frown upside down, Zack. Don't you listen to the Black Eyed Peas? Where is the LOVE!?

ZACK
The only thing that's going to be black eyed around here is you, you friggin'...

NORTHSTAR
Ah ah...langauge! See Zack, this is where we need to come to an understanding. Your ramblings as of late have shocked us all, but needless to say they shocked me the most. I mean, who would have known...who would have thought that the great Zack Malibu was so...so...insecure!

ZACK
What are you talking about?

NORTHSTAR
Oh don't play coy with me, Zackie Wackie Poo. The hair, the clothes, the whole "look", it can't mask the pain forever. But now you've become Mr. Machismo all of a sudden, and expect it to take? Since when did YOU grow a spine, the same man who less than a year ago was afraid to lock up with a female competitor on this show in a title match!

ZACK
What does a match with Crystal have to do...

Northstar cuts Zack off.

NORTHSTAR
It's not about that, Zack. It's about the telltale signs. I feel partially responsible, I mean if Alix, as much as I'd love to give her a bad dye job and make her wait tables for the rest of her life these days, hadn't run off Alison, and Calvin didn't capture...

Before even another vowel can be uttered, Malibu FLOORS the General Manager with a right hand.

NORTHSTAR
Security! Charlie, you fatass, where the hell is that lousy porker when you need him!

Zack crouches down, so that he's eye to eye with the stunned Northstar.

ZACK
You listen to me, pretty boy. I'm not living in the past. I'm very much looking forward to my future. To Anglemania 3, and beyond. Now I WILL get to AM3, no strings attatched, and I WILL get my title shot. And after that, I'll continue to do what I've done best. I'll proudly defend this company's honor worldwide, and keep it free from the materialistic, selfish pieces of crap like yourself. I'm sick, and I'm tired, Northstar, of picking up the pieces of the lives you fracture. Same goes for Calvin, Ragdoll, or anyone else who thinks they'll get away with it on my watch. This is the one time I'm going to be selfish, but most would agree...this is MY company, and I'll be damned if it's going to be run into the ground. This ain't WCW, you're not Russo, and the ship isn't sinking. The only thing is, I doubt YOU will be able to stay afloat much longer, got me?

(Northstar points his finger past Zack, causing the former champ to turn around expecting something, instead he gets a swift kick to the balls courtesy of Northstar! Zack doubles over in pain, silently cursing Northstar. Northstar rolls away from Zack and quickly springs to his feet!)

NORTHSTAR
Made ya look! Made ya look!

(Looking to gain an advantage, Northstar quickly elbows Zack in the face, stunning him! Northstar lunges forward with the speed of a bullet train and nails Zack in the jaw with a punch! Zack staggers back against the wall. Consumed with hate Northstar charges at his rival! Zack throws out a punch, but at the last second Northstar dips his body, driving his shoulders into Zack's stomach, sandwiching Zack between himself and the wall! Without so much as batting an eye, Northstar begins to drill Zack in the gut with his knee! A deplorable look of joy crosses Northstar's face as he brutally lays into Zack!)

ZACK
You...son...of..

NORTHSTAR
Sweetie pie, you're only making things worse for yourself and funner for me! But keep on digging that grave a little deeper, love! Maybe in a couple of weeks you'll hit China!

(Northstar steps way from Zack. He cruelly spits blood in Zack's face, before charging forward with a punch! DUCKED! CRAAAACK! Zack's ducking caused Northstar to ram his fist into the concrete wall! )

NORTHSTAR
SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY, DID THAT HURT!

(With the tables turned, Zack nails Northstar with hard right hands! He slugs at Northstar with every thing he's got! But Northstar retaliates with a quick jab to the temple! The move temporarily dazes Zack, but Northstar's to winded to capitalize. Instead of seizing the moment and ending the fight, he's forced to exchange blows with an equally winded Zack! With each colossal strike they land, spurts of blood fly through the air and land on the tile floor. Too busy trying to hold off defeat, Northstar fails to notice that Jenna Elfman, his gorgeous girlfriend, has come to try and separate the longtime foes.)

JENNA!
Edward! Stop this at once!

(Northstar turns around to tell Jenna to get away and gets nailed in the back of the head with a forearm! He quickly turns back to Zack and smacks him with a backhanded blow!)

JENNA
Stop fighting. You're acting like a stupid child!

NORTHSTAR
GO AWAY, S'IL VOUS PLAIT!

(Jenna grabs Northstar's arm and uses all the strength in her one hundred twenty pound body to pull him away from Zack! However, Zack refuses to play fair and continues to nail Northstar's ribs with crushing body blows! Northstar uses his free arm to flail away at Zack, a move that elicits nothing but laughter from the bloody prep! Wanting to end this fight, Zack springs forward with a closed fist aimed at Northstar's boyish face! DUCKED! BAAAM! Zack's punch connects with a target, just not the intended one! The second Zack's punch connects with Jenna's face she falls to the ground, releasing her grip on Northstar's arm, and hitting her head on the hard tile floor!)

ZACK & NORTHSTAR
.......

(The old friends and older enemies stare at each other blankly. Jenna still conscious covers her face, preventing the cameras from seeing if there's any blood.)

NORTHSTAR
Nice job, Jackie Chan! You just Steve Austined my girlfriend! Real smooth, Vin Disel!

ZACK (Using his "POP" baseball jersey to wipe away blood)
I....I...didn't mean to! You ducked!

NORTHSTAR
Uh, yeah! Like, what else was I s'posed to do, love, let you rearrange this beautiful face with a punch? Puhleaze! I have a modeling career to protect!

ZACK
Is she going to be okay?

NORTHSTAR
Darling, do I look like George Clooney and does this look like ER? How on earth should I know?

ZACK
I didn't mean to.

NORTHSTAR
Earth to Malibu Stacy! You're not a 78' quit repeating your self! It's totally annoying, sweet stuff!

ZACK
Jesus, I seriously didn't mean to.

NORTHSTAR
Well don't just stand there and wallow in regret, Screech. Help her up!

(Zack walks over to Jenna. She tries to roll away, but stops when Zack says he wants to help her. He bends over and moves her hands away from her face in order to see how badly she's hurt. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that she's not bleeding. He whispers that "everything will be okay" as Northstar, standing behind Zack, watches on.)

NORTHSTAR
I'm Ashton Kutcher, you're Justin Timberlake and you got PUNK'D, HOE! VIVA LA NORTHSTAR!

(Northstar puts his leg onto Zack's neck, then nails him with his version of the "Play of the day" called the Hollywood Homicide! The move does what Northstar intended and floors Zack, knocking him out just enough that he's still able to hear Northstar's gloating but not able to do anything about it. Northstar whips out an OAOAST HeldDOWN compact mirror to check out his dashing good looks and carefully applied makeup)

NORTHSTAR
Gosh, I'm such a cutie! I really like how the blush compliments the blue in my eyes. Ooh, and the structure of my cheek bones, I know people who would die for it! (Northstar glances at Zack) Oh! You're still here, Zack? Same old Zackie poo! Try as you might you'll never shed the image of a wishy washy, self absorbed, cookie cutter prep. Don't waste my time and yours, dimples! We all know you're the same little girl I beat six times in one night. Whatever, I'm soooo not dealing with you anymore, child.

(A gang of security officers and medics come to help Jenna and Zack to their feet. Northstar grabs an empty bottle of Pepsi out of a trash can and proceeds to sing a modified version of "WAR". )

NORTHSTAR
ZACK! HUUH! What is he good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again! Zack! HUUH! What is he good for? Absolutely nothing! Zack I despise. Cuz he means destruction of innocent eyes! Zack means boredom for thousands of fans. When Zack goes off to fight, I wanna take my life! ZACK! HUUH! What is he good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again! Zack! HUUH! What is he good for? Absolutely nothing. Zack-Good God, now. What is he good for? I forgot the words, yeah! Zack-good god now! He molests small children! Say it again! ZACK! HUUH! What is he good for? Sucking Crystal's penis! Yeah!

(Northstar leaves trailing behind a group of medics that are carrying Jenna back to her dressing room. Halfway down the hall, he stops, turns around and blows Zack a kiss!)

NORTHSTAR (Walking away from Zack with his back turned)
My company, love. Play by my rules, or don't play at all. Your choice, hot shot. Back to you, Triple C!

(Back to the SC)

Coach: Zack-huh, what is he good for? That song's pretty catchy!

Caboose: I smell Grammy.

Coach: No, I just farted.

Cole: Ignored. Guys, I think Jenna will be okay, however I don't think our show will. Zack and Northstar have been at each other's throats since June. It doesn't bode well for the future of the company when the General Manager and the top star don't like each other.

Caboose: I like Northstar

Cole: You're not the top star.

Caboose: I'm not?!

Cole: Caboose, in terms of merchandise sales, you rank thirty-fourth. There's only thirty people on the roster.

Caboose: You mean to tell me the human erection over here ranks higher then me?!

Cole: Coach? He ranks fourth.

Caboose: God. I need a drink. Something's going on backstage, go there while I get wasted.

::The scene cuts backstage outside of a locker room door, where we see Tina prevent Panther from entering the room::

Tina: Panther, will you just calm down?

Panther: Why should I? I mean, last week, your dumb ass boyfriend comes down and costs me the 24/7 Title. There ain't a man walking the face of this earth that can tell me that I wouldn't still be the champion if not for him, and now tonight, I find out that he's getting a shot at Axel?! Chris Bryte gets a title match before me?!

Tina: (sigh) Panther...I know you're upset, but you can't blame Chris. I mean...you know what Axel's done. He's attacked Chris. He's attacked me. He's been causing us grief for the past few weeks...

Panther: I don't give a damn! If he had beef with Axel, he could've handled that on his own time. But he didn't do that, he moved in on my time, and now I'm suffering because of it. Now Tina, I couldn't care less about his little problem with Axel, but when his problems start causing me problems...well then I become him problem.

Tina: Panther, I'm really sorry you lost the title, but damn it I don't want you to fight! I mean...Jesus, Panther, you know how I feel about you...

Panther: Yeah...

Tina: ...but I really care about Chris too. I mean...I know he's not the smartest guy...he's not the most talented wrestler here, but Panther I really care about him, and I don't wanna get caught between the two of you.

Panther: Tina...

Tina: JUST LISTEN TO ME, PANTHER! I am your friend. We've already established that, and you know that I'll support you in just about anything you go through here in the OAOAST. But Panther, if you come after Chris...if you hurt him...Panther I can't side with you. I don't wanna go against you, Panther, but if you force me...well...so be it.

::Panther glares long and hard at Tina, and there's a long silence between the two as they stare one another down. Suddenly, Panther cracks a smile::

Panther: You...uh...you really like him, don't you.

Tina: (smiles) I do. I really do. I mean...Panther, I've never met a guy like Chris Bryte before. I've never met a guy who treats me the way that he does. Who always puts my needs first. Who treats me like a queen. Panther...I can't believe I'm saying this, but...I think I love the guy.

Panther:...oh.

Tina: What?

Panther:...nothing.

::Panther momentarily goes silent, looking at the floor, then looking up at the ceiling and letting loose a deep sigh::

Panther: I tell you what...for you, I'll leave Bryte alone. I'll let what happened last week slide.

Tina: (smile) Good.

Panther: But...uh, you let Chris Bryte know: stay the hell outta my business, and stay the hell outta my way. Next time, I won't be so forgiving.

Tina: Fine.

::Panther turns and walks away, leaving Tina standing with a somewhat nervous smile on his face::

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

Cue: ‘Man in the Box’ by Alice in Chains

The crowd delivers a mixed reaction of boos and cheers as the X Division Champion, AJ Flaire, comes to ringside with a frown on his face. He walks down the aisle, belt shining over his shoulder, and steps into the ring.

COLE
Well, it’s about time we got some answers from our X Champion! Eleven days ago at Zero Hour, he ruined the celebration of the Super X Cup winner, Jacob Lyne!

CABOOSE
He had every right to come out and congratulate him! Lyne was taking no notice of AJ, and AJ came out to be a good sportsman!

COACH
I’m inclined to agree with you there Caboose, AJ Flaire came out to promote the AngleMania match, to have the first face off and congratulate Lyne for his efforts in winning the super X Cup. This match was going to be a respectful wrestling match, but now it has become a bit personal!

AJ grabs the mic as his music dies down, and the fans give him quiet.

AJ
Over the last eleven days, everybody has been asking me one question... Why did I attack Jacob Lyne at Zero Hour? Well, you people deserve an answer, a true and honest answer. Because you see the reason I attacked Jacob Lyne at Zero Hour was simple. He didn’t show me the respect that I deserved as the X Division Champion. Jacob Lyne didn’t show me any respect (a small section of the crowd boos). I’m sorry I attacked him, I see the error of my ways, but I will not stand by and watch someone just ignore me. I am the greatest X Division Champion that this company has ever seen. I’m better than Rando. I’m better than Ragdoll (slight boos). I’m better than Mad Matt, and I know that I’m better than Sly Sommers.

COACH
He has a point guys, he is one of the best X Champs that we have ever seen.

AJ
I appreciate you people, as you show me the proper respect that I deserve as the X Division Champion. I appreciate the other members of The Firm, as they also show me the proper respect. Eleven days ago, I beat Tyler Bridges and I beat TJ Burns. I beat the damn Tag Team Champions. Money and I, we beat Gunner Sharps, but I lost one concentration for one moment, and Axel took advantage and pinned me. I make no excuses for the loss; it was a black mark on my career. But the same thing will not happen at AngleMania. I will keep this belt around my waist. I’ll have the edge at AngleMania Three.

COLE
That’s debateable; Lyne defeated three guys at Zero Hour.

AJ
Because that’s what I’ve been lacking, an edge. You people just see me as the ‘No Gimmick Needed’ type of guy, the guy who shuts up, plays by the rules and gets things done. Well, that might work for Benoit, but playing by the rules doesn’t get you anywhere in this company. Being respectful to your opponents doesn’t get you anywhere in this company. So from now on, screw respect. I’m showing you a different side of AJ Flaire. Now that’s Phenomenal.

Cue: Man in the Box

CABOOSE
I like the new attitude! That will get him far in this business.

AJ rolls out of the ring and carries his belt up the ramp. The crowd is still delivering a mixed reaction, as they don’t know what side to pick! AJ poses at the top of the ramp, when suddenly; Jacob Lyne appears and spears AJ down! Lyne starts hammering away at AJ Flaire, as officials try to separate the two men!

COACH
Wait a minute!

COLE
JACOB LYNE WANTS PAYBACK!

The officials finally break Lyne away, but he soon goes after AJ again, eliciting a pop from the crowd!

CABOOSE
Get him out of here; he can’t attack AJ like that!

COACH
AJ attacked him at Zero Hour, this is payback Caboose!

Jacob Lyne is taken away by officials as the referees attend to AJ Flaire, who pushes them out of the way and tries to go after Lyne. More officials come from the back to separate the two men.

COLE
I really don’t understand the sudden change of heart by AJ Flaire. Am I the only one who thinks his actions were unjustified just now? Are you all blind?

COACH
Well Michael, AJ’s right, Lyne should have respected him, so now AJ is showing Lyne no respect, and he is going to keep his title at AngleMania.

COLE
In any event, at AngleMania Three, it will be AJ Flaire defending his X Division Championship against Jacob Lyne, the winner of the Super X Cup. This is sure to be a very technical affair, with both men wanting the respect of their peers, as well as each other.

COACH
Stay tuned, the NEW Twenty Four Seven Champion, ‘The Dark One’ Axel, will have his first title defence NEXT, against none other than the rookie, Chris Bryte! We’ll be back!



*COMMERCIAL BREAK*



COACH
We are back, LIVE on HeldDown, and we have a Championship match for you coming right up!

Chris Bryte is already in the ring, waiting for his opponent.

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty Four Seven Championship! In the ring is the challenger, from Topeka, Kansas, weighing in tonight at One Hundred Seventy Five Pounds, CHRISSSSSSSSSSSSS BRYYYYYYYYTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE!!!

COLE
Boy what an opportunity for Chris Bryte, a shot at the Twenty-Four Seven Championship. This is also a bit personal for Bryte, as he is trying to avenge Axel’s attack on Tina last week.

CABOOSE
One wonders though, Michael, if Bryte has bitten off way more than he can chew on this one.

BOOM!BOOM!BOOBOOBOOBOOOMMMMMMMMMBOOOMMMMMM!!!

Cue: ‘The Game’ by Disturbed

The crowd starts to boo their asses off as the NEW 24/7 Champion, AXEL, appears at the top of the ramp, belt around his waist. He does the crucifix pose at the top of the ramp, before spotting Chris Bryte, who is running up the entrance way, chair in hand!

COLE
Bryte is on the rampage! Bryte wants Axel!

Chris Bryte runs at Axel and tries to take Axe’s head off with the chair, but Axel ducks under him! Axel takes his belt off with one hand, waits for Bryte to turn around, and smashes him in the face with the Championship!

COACH
What a shot!

CABOOSE
He took Bryte’s head off!

The referee runs up the ramp to tell the opponents to get in the ring, but Axel just hands him the Title belt and walks over to Bryte, who is just starting to get to his feet. Axel grabs Bryte by the hair and ‘helps him’ up, but soon takes him back down with a hard right hand. Axel spots the chair and picks it up, while Bryte tries his darnest to make it to his feet again.

CABOOSE
Ah, Michael? You got a clock on this one?

COLE
I know what you mean, ‘Boose.

Bryte turns around slowly, his face now a bloody mess from the belt shot, and is greeted by a hard chair shot, splattering his face on the steel!

COLE
MY GOD what a chair shot!

Axel grabs Bryte yet again by the hair and literally THROWS him down the ramp, with Bryte rolling the rest of the way down, and stopping just outside the ring.

COACH
Axel is decimating Chris Bryte!

Axel picks Bryte up again and LAUNCHES him face-first into the steel steps, a ‘CRASH’ echoing throughout the arena. Axel then smiles a wicked smile, as the crowd keeps booing his actions. Axel looks over to the apron as his smile grows wider.

COLE
What is he thinking?

CABOOSE
I think he’s getting his toys Cole!


Axel then looks under the ring and pulls out…




…a Table!


COLE
Oh no! Axel is looking to injure Chris Bryte! Axel wants to send a message to Crystal!

Axel grabs the table and slides it into the ring, before going over to Chris Bryte again, who is now up to his feet. Axel goes for the DREADED DOUBLE AXE HANDLE! But Cris Bryte lands a LEFT HAND OF DOOM! Axel staggers back!

COLE
Bryte is fighting back!

Axel tries a right hand, but Bryte blocks it and hits a RIGHT HAND OF DEATH! Axel stumbles forward!

CABOOSE
C’mon Axel, block it!

Bryte tries another hard left, but Axel connects with a knee to the midsection! Axel puts Bryte over his shoulders, and starts to run at the ring post…

COACH
Not this, this move could crack Bryte’s skull!

…But Bryte slips off, and Axel’s head goes crashing into the post! Axel staggers backward and turns around, only to run into a HIGH ELEVATION DROPKICK from Chris Bryte!!!

COLE
Beautiful textbook dropkick from Bryte!

Chris Bryte picks Axle up by the hair this time and rolls him into the ring! Axel gets to his feet and staggers back into the corner, and Chris Bryte meets him there! Right hand by Bryte! And a left! And a Chop! And another right! And a kick to the midsection! And ANOTHER CHOP!

COACH
GENERIC OFFENSE BY CHRIS BRYTE! Axel is reeling!


Axel stumbles out to the middle of the ring, and Bryte takes hi down with another HIGH ELEVATION DROPKICK! Cover by Chris Bryte!


COLE
He could have him!!!

COACH
We could have a new Champion!

ONE…


TWNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Axel kicks out with authority!


COLE
I thought Bryte had him!

Bryte looks at Axel, stands up, and signals for the Bryte Out!


COLE
Bryte might be going for his move!

Bryte lifts Axel up, and Drives him down with a vicious Bryte Out!

COLE
That’s his move!

CABOOSE
Thanks Tony.

Bryte desperately covers Axel…

ONE…



TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO…




NOOOOOOOOOOO!! Axel JUST kicks out!

COLE
Bryte can’t believe it!

COACH
We were a count away from a new 24/7 Champion!

Bryte looks over at the referee and holds three fingers up in protest. The referee will have none of it, as he tells Bryte to go back to his opponent. Bryte turns around, and signals for another Bryte Out!

CABOOSE
He’s going for the same move again!

Axel gets up slowly and turns to face Bryte. Bryte lifts Axel for the Bryte out, but Axel slides off! Bryte turns around, and Axel DECAPITATES him with a HARD clothesline! Axel looks insanely pissed off!

CABOOSE
Uh-oh, you’ve done it now.

COLE
What is that look in Axels eyes?

CABOOSE
Michael, remember when Shamrock was in the ‘Zone’?

COLE
Oh, shit. Run Chris, Run!

Axel grabs Bryte and lifts him on his shoulders. Axel drives Bryte’s head into the mat for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH, but Axel doesn’t cover him!

COLE
Stop the madness Axel!

Axel walks over to the other side of the ring and sets up the table just out from the corner. He then walks over to Bryte and hauls him over to that very corner!

COACH
What’s he going to do here?

Axel lifts Bryte up for a Back Suplex, and crotches him on the top turnbuckle backwards. Axel then goes up to the top rope, and grabs Bryte ready for a Reverse Death Valley! Axel lifts Bryte in the air on the top turnbuckle, and rotates him over…

COLE
Oh no, Axel, don’t do this. You can’t do this to the poor kid. Please Axel no-


AXEL SLAME FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH A TABLE!


COLE
MY GOD IN HEAVEN! BRYTE COULD BE DEAD!

Axel covers Bryte and hooks the leg…


ONE…



TWOOOOOOO…


CABOOSE
Foregone conclusion.


THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!


*DING DING DING!!*

ANNOUNCER
Here is your winner, and STILL the OAOAST Twenty-Four even Champion, AXXXXXXELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

Axel looks at Bryte’s lifeless body and mouths the words “You Son of a Bitch”.

COLE
Impressive victory by Axel! I think he is sending a clear message to Crystal before AngleMania!

Axel grabs Bryte’s lifeless body and picks him up again for another Axel Slam!

COACH
C’mon Axel, you’ve made your point…

ANOTHER AXEL SLAM ON CHRIS BRYTE!

Axel gets straight back up and demands a microphone from the announcer, who obliges. He starts talking, breathing heavily.

AXEL
Crystal, this (points to Bryte) is what will happen to you at AngleMania. THIS is what happens when you fuck with me, THIS is what happens when you go against me. Remember Crystal, I FUCKING MADE YOU! YOU WILL SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY AFTER ANGLEMANIA! I WILL FU-

Cue: ‘I’m just a Girl’ by No Doubt

The crowd goes absolutely NUT as Crystal appears at the top of the ramp, microphone in hand. She puts her hand up to stop the music…

CRYSTAL
Axel, I’m damn sick and tired of you and your tirades, your CRAP! Why don’t we give these fans AngleMania three weeks early? You and me, one on one, right NOW.

The crowd pops HUGE at the mention of this.

COLE
I’d like to see that!

AXEL
Crystal, my dear. I wanted to beat you at AngleMania, not on HeldDown! If I wanted to face you at a mere TV show, I would have pinned you last week. I have a better idea. Why don’t you face my good friend, your former friend, Gunner Sharps, next week on HeldDown?

CRYSTAL
Fine, you’re on. I’ll kick his ass too.


COACH
Crystal showing no fear!


AXEL
Alright then, next week it’s Crystal versus Gunner Sharps, have fun in the next week Crystal, it’ll be your LAST.

Cue: ‘The Game’ by Disturbed

COACH
What an announcement by Axel! Crystal and Gunner, one on one, next week on HeldDown!

COLE
And we still have an action packed show! Stay tuned.

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

Pikmin, we have to cook! Group: OAOAST Mods Posts: 7,210 Joined: 3-September 02 Member No.: 2,593 Warn: (0%)

(Return from break) "Black" by Sevendust plays as the lights go down over the arena. A mix of cheers and boos rises up from the stands. BUFFER Making his way down the aisle, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 275 pounds, he is...HOFF!!! Hoff steps out onto the stage and surveys the crowd, some still booing, some still cheering. COLE Guys, Hoff requested this matchup specifically so he could keep himself in shape for his big match with CWM at AngleMania 3. CABOOSE IF it happens, Michael. Anyway, yeah, the next few weeks Northstar has agreed to let Hoff showcase his skills against the fine enhancement talent of HeldDown. I think I saw this guy in the ring flipping burgers at McDonalds a few weeks ago! COACH You eat at McDonalds? I didn't know they had those in Losertown. Caboose smacks Coach upside 'da head as the cameras cut to Tom "Capital" Goran, already in the ring. Goran stretches his neck as Hoff strides down the aisle, jawing with the fans. COLE Well, Hoff has really seemed to gain a lot of confidence, but I guess he wants to get ready, or stay ready, for CWM at Anglemania. CABOOSE IF IT HAPPENS!! Geez, I bet CWM isn't even at 10%, no one would clear him to wrestle. Hoff rolls into the ring and climbs the far turnbuckle. The fans' cheers pick up as Hoff raises one arm, saluting the crowd. COACH Man, these fans are kinda into Hoff after he stood up to Northstar last week! COLE Well, our GM hasn't exactly been making friends lately. CABOOSE Blame that on Zack Malibu. That guy's a menace, I'd fire him. COLE You would not. CABOOSE The hell I wouldn't! Zack Malibu sucks. COACH I like Candie, though. She's hot. CABOOSE You like MEN. COACH I...uh...SHUT UP! The bell rings as Hoff stretches his back muscles, then crouches down and circles Goran. The two men lock up, and Hoff throws Goran down to the mat. COLE Nice power there by Hoff! CABOOSE Well, at 6 foot 5, 275 pounds, he's not a small man by any means. Goran gets to his feet and approaches Hoff again. The two men lock up collar and elbow, and Hoff pushes Goran back to the corner. Hoff steps back, then unloads several knees into Goran's midsection. Hoff steps back, and whips Goran HARD into the far corner! Goran hits the turnbuckle and collapses, holding his back! COACH Whoa! CABOOSE Nice drop-in there, Harry Doyle. COACH Who? Hoff stomps Goran across the back once, then picks him up by the hair. Hoff scoops Goran up, slams him down to the mat, and drops a big leg across his throat. COLE Quick cover here! The ref drops to his knees, but only gets a two count before Goran gets a shoulder up. Hoff picks Goran back up, whips him off the ropes, and catches him with a back elbow smash. Goran, dazed, stutters backwards, and whips him off the ropes again, this time catching him with a back body drop. Hoff makes a cover again, but only gets two. CABOOSE Man, even....what's this guy's name again? COACH Hoff? CABOOSE No, nitwit, the other one. COLE Tom Goran. CABOOSE Right. Not even Tom Goran will go down that easy. Hoff picks Goran up off the mat, whips him into the ropes, and comes off the other side with a big clothesline! Goran stumbles back to his feet, but Hoff hiptosses him over. Hoff plays to the crowd before flexing and dropping an elbow across Goran's chest. The referee counts one, two, but no three as Goran kicks out again. Hoff gets to his feet and again pulls Goran off the mat, but Goran surprises Hoff with a quick right hand! Goran shoots another right to Hoff's temple, and another! COLE Tom Goran showing some signs of life here! Goran steps back, and plants Hoff with a dropkick that sends the big man down! Goran pumps his fist in celebration, but as Goran plays to the crowd, Hoff gets to his feet! COACH Uh-oh, looks like Hoff wasn't fazed! Goran turns around, but Hoff catches him with a boot to the midsection. Goran doubles over in pain, and Hoff grabs him in a front face lock and DDTs him down! Hoff goes for a cover... ONE......... TWO........... THREE-NO!! Goran kicks out!! COLE Goran barely kicked out of that DDT, and I know we just got rolling, but this may be the beginning of the end. Hoff picks Goran up, hooks him, and takes him over with a vertical suplex. Hoff gets up, pulls his opponent up, and suplexes him over again. Hoff gets up, hooks Goran for a third time, and lifts him, leaving him in the air!! COACH More power from the big man! The fans cheer as Hoff walks around the ring, carrying Goran on his shoulders before bringing him crashing down with a delayed vertical suplex! COLE Cover here! ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREEEEENO! COLE Goran JUST got out in time! CABOOSE Oh, I don't think he's out just yet, Michael. Hoff picks Goran up and sends him into the ropes with an Irish whip...but holds onto Goran's wrist, bringing him back in and demolishing him with a short-arm clothesline! Hoff again plays to the crowd! COACH Goran just got run over, big-time! Hoff picks Goran up off of his feet and holds him up by the head. Hoff taunts the groggy Goran before hooking him around the waist... COLE What's coming here? Hoff tucks his head under Goran's arm and bridges him over in a Northern Lights Suplex! CABOOSE Wow, Northern Lights! I didn't expect that from a smash-mouth guy like Hoff! The referee falls to make the count... ONE............... TWO.............. THRNO! Shoulder up! Hoff sits up, a mildly annoyed look on his face, then gets to his feet. Goran tries to roll away, but Hoff grabs him by the hair and throws him into the nearby corner. Hoff sizes him up carefully, then starts working the midsection of Goran with a series of left and right hooks. COLE We saw Hoff do this to CWM at Zero Hour; it's very methodical, and it slows down the pace of the match. COACH Absolutely, if Hoff can wear down his opponents ribs and back, they're much more susceptible to a spinebuster or H-Bomb. Hoff steps back after delivering the punches, then rushes forward, catching Goran with a clothesline that crumples him in the corner. Hoff picks Goran back up and sets him on the turnbuckle. COLE Oh my, where is Hoff going here... Hoff climbs up the buckle, to the second rope. He hooks Goran for a superplex...then steps up to the top rope! COACH ALL the way up high! Hoff pulls Goran up to the top rope, and comes off with a huge superplex! Hoff floats over and makes the cover! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO! Tom Goran kicks out! CABOOSE How did he kick out of that, Cole? COLE I don't know, but he may still have some signs of life! Look! As Hoff bends down to pick Goran up, Goran thumbs him in the eye! Goran gets to his feet as Hoff reels, and catches the big man with a fluury of fists! Goran whips Hoff off the ropes...but Hoff reverses, Goran comes off the ropes and COACH SPINEBUSTER!!!! COLE Hoff just PLASTERED Tom Goran with that huge spinebuster! My God, he must be out cold! Hoff looks down at Goran's body for a minute, then places a foot on his chest. The referee counts... CABOOSE This is academic. ONE......TWO.....but Hoff lifts his foot!! COLE Aw come on, enough is enough! As the referee checks on Goran, Hoff shouts to the jeering fans: "CWM!!!! This is for YOU!!!!" Hoff pulls Goran away from the ref and onto his feet, and applies a standing headscissors. COLE Come on, the ref needs to stop this... CABOOSE WHAT?! This is great! Hoff's sending a message! It's about time he got a set! Hoff lifts Tom Goran up over his head into the powerbomb position, then swings Goran's legs down off of his shoulders and catches him in a whiplashing spinebuster!! COACH That's the H-Bomb! That's it!! COLE That has to be it. The referee counts.... ONE............... TWO............... THREE!! *ding ding ding* BUFFER The winner of this bout..........HOFF!! "Black" by Sevenduist plays as Hoff exits the ring. As he walks up the ramp, the fans largely boo, but a few cheers poke through. COLE Well, Hoff did what he came to do: tune his skills, and send a message to CWM. CABOOSE Yeah, some nice power moves by Hoff, I'm not sure if CWM can take those at Anglemania. IF it happens. Which it won't. COACH YOU like men!!! Michael Cole and Caboose exchange a confused look. CABOOSE ......huh? COACH Earlier you said I like men! Well, YOU like men! BOO-YAH!! CABOOSE That was like five minutes ago! COACH Well, it takes me a while to think up these sweet lines. CABOOSE What you call sweet, I call uh...um... COACH See it ain't easy being witty like the C.Note. CABOOSE You aren't witty! Someone feeds you your lines, you...uh...SHIT! When we come back, I'll snap you good! (Go to break) (Return from break) Backstage, JOSH~! is standing by with the party pimps of the OAOAST, we're talking about Johnny "Jam" Jackson and Scotty Static, the Global Party Exchange. JOSH Scotty, Johnny, tonight, it's round six for you. The Seven Sins Series stands at 3-2 in favor of the Minions, and tonight, you've got them in a tables match. SCOTTY Look here, Joshy Josh, here's the deal. You see, we've been in this company for a few months now, and yeah, we've made some waves. Sly Somers and me, we threw down, and had some wars. Ol' JJJ here got stuck on the shelf for a little, but ever since he came back, the GPX wanted nothing more than their chance at the prize. Now some could say we've gotten sidetracked, some could say it's about revenge. No matter what you call it, this Seven Sins Series is going to be the true test. It has been since the first match. We've been down, we've been out. People said we had no shot. The Minions, yeah they got over on us more than a few times. Now tonight, it's time to turn the tables, and put Nathaniel and Michael right through them damn things! Right, Johnny Jam? JOHNNY Like my main mac diddy says, Josh Matthews, we've been the underdogs from day one! No one gave us a fighting chance against The Minions. They're intense, they said. They've got St. Andrew, and Gibraltar. They feel no remorse, no pain for their past actions. Well you know what, I felt the pain! You'd better BELIEVE I felt it, because it was thanks to these glorified altar boys that my career got stuck on pause like an XBox game for a little while. Then we entered the Seven Sins Series, and we were down. Oh man, were the odds against us. Tag matches, Tornado Matches, something new every time, and somehow, the Minions were able to get us time and time again. Well NO MORE, boys. The GPX are on the great comeback tour of '04. It started two weeks back, it carries through to tonight, and it ends in Match 7. You can make it whatever kind of match you want, but the bottom line is you better get it booked now, because in a few minutes, the only thing you'll have to worry about is how to get the splinters outta your asses. GPX is comin' to party up, and just like every party we've ever been to, we ain't afraid to break a little furniture. Believe it! A silent Josh Matthews looks approvingly at the camera, as the Global Party Exchange head off, psyched to the nines for their match tonight against St. Andrew's charges, The Minions Of Mayhem. (Back to the SC) Coach: Thanks, dork! Hey, I'm getting word that Damawhatever and Northstar are watching "Sex in the City" let's watch them watch! (We go backstage where Damaramu and Northstar are eating Chinese food and watching a "Sex in the City" DVD. Well, Northstar's watching it.) Damaramu: How's Jenna? Northstar: She'll be okay, love. She's more pissed then hurt. Dama: Yeah, that preppy pussy stepped way over the line. We need to get a gang together and put that punk six feet underground. Sick of him! Northstar: The thought is appreciated, and the sentiment is admirable, darling. But the truth is she's not mad at Zack, she's mad at me. Frankly, I can't entirely blame her. In her time of need, I focused my energy on trying to best my old rival, Zack Malibu. Consumed by an ancient rage, I leveled him with a Hollywood Homicide instead of tending to her needs. For that I deserve her anger. For misleading her into thinking that I truly am a kind, thoughtful and caring individual who would do his best to provide aid to those who need it, I deserve her hate. And for questioning her integrity and acting ability, an ability that she dedicates every moment of her life to improving, I deserve a broken heart. (Dama digs in the bag of food) Dama: Hmm....want an egg roll? Northstar: Sure. (Dama hands over an egg roll) Dama: What's going on with Alix? I saw her in the arena early today. Can't believe she had the nerve to show her fucking face 'round these parts. Talk about dumping a truck load of salt in a wound. Northstar: Actually, sweetheart, I'm a little glad she's here. Dama: What? That bubbleheaded dick breath dumped you the national TV! Why the fuck would you want her around? Northstar: Well, I know this sounds kind of weird and pathetic. But, I just like knowing that she's around. Even if she's not talking to me, and she wants nothing more then to see me to die the slowest, most agonizingly brutal death one can imagine, I still feel better knowing that she's near. (Northstar softly chuckles) You must think I'm beyond pathetic. Don't you, sugar? Dama: Pathetic never once crossed my mind. I think I'm understanding how you feel. I just have one question, if you're going out with Jenna, who you've apparently had a crush on since you were ten, why are you still hung up on Alix? Northstar: You really wanna know? Dama: I wouldn't have asked if I didn't. Northstar: It's kinda weird. I mean I love Jenna and all. But, I like Alix a lot, ya know? I mean, she's my friend. Or at least she was. But, I'll always think of her as a friend, my best friend actually. I know that sounds incredibly stupid and corny, but that's how I feel. It's like she means too much to me to get married. Long after Jenna's left me with divorce papers in one hand and a limp dick in the other, I'll still be friends with Alix. I'll still like her. There are things I can talk about with Alix that I couldn't dream of talking about with anyone else. She knows my deepest and darkest secrets, and I feel comfortable with that. There are moments we shared together, like the aftermath of the Ironman match, that I couldn't share with any one else. No one could ever understand me the way Alix did. She gave me so much and I returned so little. When she dumped me last week, it wasn't my fiance saying she couldn't love me, it was my best friend saying that we couldn't hang our together. Unless you've experienced something like that, you can't even begin to imagine how deep the pain was after I heard that. Dama: Chin up. Things'll work out. They always do. One way or another, things will work out. Northstar: How can you be so sure? Dama: Don't question. Just believe me. And if you need anything, I've got your back. (Northstar cracks open a fortune cookie.) Northstar: Aren't you sweet? Hey, you'll be happy to know that I've booked Charlie Hoss to take on Skull Mask at Anglemania. Dama: Skull Mask would willing to take over as interim chief of security while Chuck recovers from the face breaking he'll be receiving at AM three. (Northstar nods) Northstar: It'll be the battle of the hosses Dama: Is his last name really Hoss? Northstar: Yessir. Dama: If my last name was Hoss, I'd kill my parents. Northstar: You mean just your dad? Dama: No, I'd kill my Mom for marrying a guy with the last name Hoss. Actually, I may just kill his Mom and Dad for the hell of it. Northstar: ! Dama: Only kidding, man. I'll see you in a few, I've got some..uh..buissness to take care of. Like I said, if you need anything, I'm here for you, pal. Count on it. (CUT to the SC) Coach: Could it be? Am I imagining things? Does Damaramu actually have a heart? Cole: I'm just as surprised as you! He sat still and attentively listened to Northstar's problems. Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all. Caboose: Told you! But you cock jockeys do nothing but make snap judgments about everyone who comes across your path. You're like gossiping old lady bitches sitting under the hair dryer all day, talking smack about everyone, when you know you'll never amount to a damn thing. You both make me sick! We'll be back after break. (Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

We cut to the back, where CWM is on a payphone. He's talking softly, and the conversation appears to be serious. As he speaks, Hoff, still in his ring gear, approaches him from behind and taps him on the shoulder. CWM glances back, then quickly says "hey, I'll call you back" and hangs up the phone. CWM turns around to face Hoff.

HOFF
So. You got your shit together?

CWM
No. I was TRYING to work on that now, but someone interrupted me.

Hoff smirks.

HOFF
Yeah, I figured you might have some problems. Listen, just leave it to me.

CWM looks suspicious.

HOFF
Listen, I know a guy who can do these kind of things, all right? I'll make a few calls. It shouldn't be a problem.

CWM
Why the hell should I trust you?

HOFF
Were you watching my match just now?

CWM smiles thinly.

CWM
Oh yeah, big boy. I saw every minute of it.

HOFF
Then you know I'm serious.

Both men's expressiosn turn dark.

HOFF
Listen to me--

CWM
No, you listen. I'm gonna get you in that ring, you hear me? And when I do, I swear, you're going to regret everything you've done to me. You sorry son of a bitch.

Hoff glares back at CWM...then steps back and smiles.

HOFF
I'll go ahead and make my calls. Rest up, buddy. You got a match coming, and you need to be ready...

Hoff's expression once again turns serious.

HOFF
...I wouldn't have it any other way.

Hoff walks off as CWM stares down the hall.

(Cut backstage, where Josh Matthews is standing by in the interview area with Rick Heyross and Brock Auustin.)

JM: Rick, on Sunday night, March 28th, your man, Brock Auustin, will be involved in maybe not the first, but sure as heck the biggest, "Battle of the Giants", as he faces perhaps the biggest challenge to his throne as the bully on the block, St. Andrew's Gibraltar. Your thoughts?

RICK: Anglemania...the biggest show of the year. Anglemania, the biggest show of all-time.....

Out of nowhere, Gibraltar charges in from out of nowhere and nearly kicks Rick Heyross's head off with a running boot to the side of the head.

JM: What the hell? (Gibraltar knocks Josh out with one forearm to the side of the head.)

Brock and Gibraltar then start trading rapid-fire punches. They switch to forearms to the face, but no one really gets an advantage. Finally, Brock grabs Gibraltar's head, and starts slamming it into the wall behind him. But, before he can get much of an advantage, Saint Andrew comes from behind Brock and kicks him in between the legs.

Brock turns around, grunts his way through the obvious pain to his groin, and then grabs Saint Andrew by the throat. Brock then lifts Andrew over his head in gorilla-press position. He then drops Andrew in F-Stunner-5 position, and starts heading to the ring. But, Gibraltar shakes off his pain, and paces to the ring behind them.

Right as they come through the curtain, Gibraltar catches up, and forearms Brock in the shoulderblade-region in order for Andrew to escape Brock's clutches. Gibraltar connects with a few more forearms to the back, sending both of them down the aisle. But, three-fourths of the way down, Brock fights back with a series of punches to the face. They make it all the way down to the ring, brawling back-and-forth.

Auustin charges at Gibraltar, but Gibraltar steps to the side, and Brock goes shoulder-first into the ringpost. Gibraltar then tosses Brock into the ring. Gibraltar steps into the ring as Brock struggles to his feet. Gibraltar knees Brock in the face, and then puts Brock's legs in between his legs. Gibraltar goes for a powerbomb, but Brock starts to punch Gibraltar in the face as he gets lifted. Brock eventually is able to punch his way to escape, and lands on his feet. But, as soon as Brock hits the ground, Gibraltar pulls a hammer out of his pocket, and BREAKS IT OVER BROCK'S HEAD!

MC: My god! That's disgusting!

CABOOSE: That's what I call "home improvement"!

Brock's forehead becomes a faucet for blood, as it quickly covers most of his face. Gibraltar picks up the metal part, and starts scraping into Brock's forehead, trying to widen the cut. Eventually, a gigantic crew of referees, enhancement talent, and security come out to try and remove Gibraltar from the ring. It takes nearly the entire crew to remove Gibraltar's grip off of Brock, but they get him off. Gibraltar then begins to go after the motley crew that came out to remove him, but Andrew, obviously in pain, comes down to ringside, and orders that his monster come to the locker room. Gibraltar exits the ring, and follows Andrew to the back.

MC: That is some scary power!

CABOOSE: But what's the scarier power: Gibraltar's physical power, or Andrew's mental power over such a dangerous weapon in his war on sinners and gluttons?

COACH: That's actually a really good question, Caboose. Both are freaky in their ways, but Andrew having total mind control over such a beast is definately scary.

MC: Nonetheless, Brock Auustin is laid out center-ring in a puddle of his own blood, which might be the first time he's even been left in such a predicament in all of his time in wrestling! As the crew helps get Brock to the back for some help and cleans up the blood, let's take a commercial break. More hD~! in 3!

(Go to break)

(Return from break)
MC: Up next should be an interesting contest. Last week, Northstar threw together a match for Anglemania III, set up to give the two most underrated wrestlers in this company the biggest opportunity in their careers. Peter Knight will be battling Sly Sommers from Totally Endorsed, with the winner going on to face the winner of the HeldDOWN~! World Title match at Anglemania III at Living Angleously in April.

COACH: Whoever wins that match will be immediately elevated to main-event status in this company!

MC: Tonight, Sly's partner-in-crime in Totally Endorsed, Colvid, will battle Knight in a preview of sorts for Anglemania.

CABOOSE: It will be interesting to see how similar Knight will find Colvid and Sly in his strategy going into Anglemania.

MC: With that being said, let's go to the ring for our next match!

(The music hits, and out comes Colvid, accompanied by his stablemate Sly Sommers.)

BUFFER: The following contest is set for one fall, and has a twenty-minute time limit. Introducing first, from Cleveland, Ohio...weighing in tonight at 230 pounds, accompanied to the ring by Sly "The Sly" Sommers; representing Totally Endorsed, he is Colvid!

MC: Colvid has been out of action for about a month; let's see how rusty he is.

("Oh Hell Yeah" then starts up, as the blue strobe lights begin to shine, and out comes Peter Knight.)

BUFFER: And his opponent...from Fall River, Massachusetts, he weighs in tonight at 230 pounds also....he is Peter Knight!

COACH: Knight looks more focused going into Anglemania than I've ever seen him!

(bell rings)

Both men circle the ring staring at each other, and then lock up collar-and-elbow style in mid-ring. Colvid scores with a headlock, but PK sends him off to the ropes. Knight leapfrogs over Colvid, and Colvid bounces off the ropes on the other side. Colvid goes for a flying headscissors takedown, but Knight puts Colvid back down on his feet, and then nails a side headlock takedown. Colvid reverses with a headscissors, but Knight quickly kips out of that, as both men are back up. Colvid then draws Knight in with a side knee to the mid-section. Colvid sends Knight off to the corner as he chases, but Knight kips over Colvid, and brings him back with a state roll/prawn hold........1.............2........Colvid kicks out, sending PK shoulder-first into the ringpost.

MC: Early in the match, and it looks like Knight's already gained a big handicap!

Colvid gets to his feet as Knight turns around, grabs PK's hand, and pulls him in for a shoulderblock. Knight goes down, as Colvid steps on his arm with both feet. Colvid then jumps with both feet onto the shoulder area. Colvid pulls Knight up, and whips him off to the ropes. Colvid then grabs Knight by the arm, going for a single-arm DDT. But, Knight is able to place his leg behind Colvid, and reverse with an inverted STO. Knight then grabs Colvid's leg, and goes for a standing leglock. But, Colvid balances all of his weight back, and kips onto his free leg. However, Colvid keeps ahold of the leg, turns himself around, and nails an inverted Russian legsweep.

COACH: I'm definately liking the reversal-fest here.

Knight keeps ahold of the leg as he rises to his feet, and locks in the standing leglock he was originally going for. Colvid grabs onto the hand of Knight's that isn't pulling on his leg, and pulls himself up with it. Knight uses his leverage advantage to scoop Colvid up for a slam, but Colvid swings himself around, and drops Knight with a divorce court (single-arm DDT). Colvid then holds Knight's arm down to the mat, and drops repeated kneedrops onto the shoulder. Colvid pulls Knight up by the arm, and locks in an arm-wringer, pushing down on the shoulder with all of his weight.

MC: Ever since Knight's shoulder connected with that ringpost early on, Colvid's been all over it!

Knight tries to roll out of it, but when his back touches the mat, Colvid comes down with a legdrop on the shoulder. Colvid then comes up, and pulls PK to his feet by the arm. Colvid then chicken-wings the arm behind Knight's back, and slams him, dropping all of his weight down on the shoulder. Colvid follows up by simply kicking PK in the shoulder. Colvid pulls Knight up, and extends the arm. Colvid then, while holding the arm out, nails a perfect dropkick, placing all of the impact on the shoulder area.

CABOOSE: Colvid's pulling every trick out of the bag to punish Peter Knight...and I love it!

Knight crawls towards the ropes, but Colvid walks over to him, and repeatedly stomps the shoulder. Colvid pulls Knight up, and shoves him in a corner. Colvid then wraps Knight's arm around the top rope, and pulls down. Colvid lets go at the referee's command, but then backs up to mid-ring. Colvid charges forward, but Knight moves and Colvid misses with a flying avalanche. Colvid stumbles around, and walks right into a stomach kick/DDT combo from Knight. Peter goes for the cover.........1............2..........kickout! Knight pulls Colvid up, and goes for a suplex. Colvid slides out the back end, spins Knight around, lifts him, and drops PK with a shoulderbreaker.

COACH: No better way to punish a body part than to just drop your opponent on it!

Colvid goes for a pin, smothering the shoulder..........1............2.........kickout! Colvid then stands up, and pulls PK up to a bent-over position on his feet. Colvid then places the messed-up arm in between his legs, and instead of kicking Knight's face with the back kick, he aims and connects with the shoulder. Colvid keeps ahold of the arm, and nails an inverted Japanese armdrag; bridging back with it so all of his weight is pressured on Knight's shoulder. Colvid then pulls Knight up by the arm, and performs another bridging Japanese armdrag. Colvid pulls Knight up by the arm again, but this time, he drops Knight with an inverted shoulder-stunner.

MC: Very reminescent of Zero-One competitor CW Anderson there!

Colvid pulls Knight back up to his feet, and whips him off to the ropes. Colvid then goes for a hiptoss, but Knight goes for a standing switch into a hiptoss of his own. But, Knight's shoulder is too damaged to do anything, so Colvid is able to switch positioning, and grab ahold of Knight's hand. Colvid then pulls Knight in, and brings him right into a stiff knee to the shoulder region. Colvid then pulls Knight up immediately, and hooks him in a pumphandle position, making sure he torques the shoulder extra-well. Colvid then lifts PK up, and brings him down with a sit-down pumphandle powerbomb..........1.............2........kickout!

COACH: No doubt about it; Colvid is breaking out all of the stops to try and take Peter Knight out!

Colvid pulls Knight up again, and looks to be going for something with a double-underhook. But instead, he hooks the right arm with both arms, and yanks back to arch the bad shoulder at a horrendous angle. Colvid steps on the back of Knight's knee so that he kneels and the arm arches even worse. Knight suffers for a while before arranging himself so that he's able to roll forward, and bring Colvid down with a sunset flip.........1............2......kickout! Both men back up, Knight ducks a punch, and brings Colvid down with a fall-forward neckbreaker.

COACH: The tide might be turning here!

Knight pulls Colvid up, and connects with two forearms to the face. PK then whips Colvid off to the ropes, then latches his arm around Colvid's jaw, and brings him down with a swinging sleeper neckbreaker. Knight goes for the cover........1.........2........kickout! Knight pulls Colvid back to his feet, and goes for the Knightmare. But, Colvid sneaks out the back end, and locks in a waistlock. Knight reverses with a go-behind, spins Colvid around, and brings him right into the Knight Roll!

MC: That was a devastating suplex and falcon arrow cycle!

Knight goes for the pin..........1...........2.........kickout! Knight then goes up top. But, as soon as he scales to the top turnbuckle, Sly Sommers jumps up to the apron, obviously looking to shove PK off the top rope. But, the referee catches this early, and orders Sly to go back to the floor. This entire ordeal distracts Knight long enough that Colvid is able to get up and lunge himself into the top rope, crotching PK on the top turnbuckle. Colvid then climbs to the top turnbuckle, planning to bring Knight down. But, PK is able to mount a punch-only offense long enough that the force knocks Colvid off the ropes, and down onto the mat. PK then goes back to a standing position on the top rope, and nails a top rope legdrop! Knight goes for the cover................1..............2...............kickout!

CABOOSE: Just a couple of high-impact moves won't keep Colvid down!

Knight pulls Colvid up, and lifts him for the Knightmare again. Colvid slides out of the back end, and spins Knight around. Colvid kicks Knight in the stomach, and sets up for his signature jumping piledriver. But, PK is able to punch Colvid in the mid-section four times, and then reverses that into the Knightmare position again. PK's off...and he nails it! But, as he spun Colvid around, Colvid's feet accidentally collided with the referee's head, knocking him out.

MC: We have no referee!

COACH: Madness will ensue!

CABOOSE: You're an overdramatic crybaby!

Knight goes for the cover, not knowing that he accidentally knocked the referee out. Knight finally notices, and goes to check on the ref. Sly Sommers uses this opportunity to sneak into the ring. He creeps up on PK, but right before he touches Knight, Peter turns around, and punches Sly in the face. Knight nails three more punches to Sly's face before lifting Sly onto his shoulders and bringing him down with the Knightmare! On impact, a chain flies out of Sly's hand, and Colvid, who is slowly getting back to his feet, catches it. Knight rolls Sly out of the ring as Colvid gets to his feet and wraps the chain around his hand. Knight then turns around, and walks right into a chain-assisted punch from Colvid! Colvid then puts the chain inside of PK's pants, and the referee re-awakens to groggily start counting.......

1............
2............
3!!!

BUFFER: The winner of this contest, Colvid!

MC: Come on, what the hell was that?

(Sly helps a groggy Colvid to the back, turning around to taunt Peter Knight every few steps.)

CABOOSE: That's called "psyching the opponent out". These two are so even in what they can do in the ring that they have to be pulling out the mind games if they want a shot at the World Heavyweight Title in April!

COACH: Actually, that's a smart plan. Knight and Sommers are both evenly matched competitors, and any edge possible going into a match with this big of an opportunity for the winner is a big one.

MC: Well said. More hD~! in 3!

COACH: Your formatting sucks! It's time to check in with FOSHI!

(The camera fades in to a dark alley. It appears to be the later hours of the evening. For a less than desirable place to be at such a time, the alley is remarkably clean and upon seeing several signs, it becomes clear that this is a Japanese alleyway. The camera pans around a bit taking in the setting before focusing on a dark figure sitting against a wall. The man is staring forward with a blank expression and it becomes clear that it is once again Mongoose Foshi.

The camera focuses solely on his facial expressions for a few more moments when he begins to stir. He stands up and begins to pace back and forth. At various points in his pacing, he stops and looks back in the original direction he was facing before pacing once more. He repeats this several more times before walking right up to the wall opposite the one he originally sat against. He looks closely at the wal before going back to pacing. He stops one final time and glances over at the wall again. Then, slowly he walks off towards the exit of the alley with his head down. The camera zooms back over to what he was staring at. On the wall is a large painting of a young man who closely resembles Mongoose. There is writing in Japanese at the top of the picture. Underneath in English reads: "RIP Kaz Foshi 1976-1999")

[Chanel #99]

*We're taken backstage where Alix is walking in the back looking pretty angry. She's not even paying attention to where she's going because she ends up walking almost into a wall. She looks up around her. She's in some sort of a storage area with large holding cages lining each wall. And a large series of pipes running on the wall in front of her.*

ALIX
Oh god dammit. This stupid arena is like a maze. And it's dark here. I don't have time for this shit.

*She puts her head in her hands and sighs when we hear the creaking of a gate behind her. She turns her head and looks back towards the opening gate and her eyes grow wide with fear as the shadow of a large man appears on the wall. She begins to slowly back up.*

ALIX
No......please don't hurt me. No.........no.........please..........

*Real tears are streaming down her face as she backs into the wall. She begins to feel behind her at the solid brick wall and then turns to try and see if there is any way out. She stops and realizes that she's trapped like a rat. The tears get bigger as she crouches to the ground while the shadow moves closer and closer.*

ALIX
PLEASE! Just go away! PLEASE! DON'T HURT ME! I'M SORRY!

*The camera pans out as we see DAMARAMU standing there with a sadistic look on his face. In one hand he holds a lead pipe and he is slowly advancing on Alix without saying a word.*

ALIX
Get back! No!

DAMARAMU
Your crying and begging is just making me angrier. I despise cowards like you that can't stand up and take what's coming to them. Get on your feet or it's going to be worse.......I swear to god you'd better get on your fucking feet right now.

*Alix begins to cry very loudly as she stands to her feet. She is still pressed up against the wall and she holds her hands in front of her.*

ALIX
Please........SOMEBODY HELP ME!

DAMARAMU
SHUT UP! I'm tired of your crying! Dry your tears little one....they'll be the last ones you ever cry.

ALIX
HELP ME! ANYONE!

DAMARAMU
Nobody can hear you this deep into the arena...

*Damaramu lifts the pipe before giggling for a second and tossing it to the ground. Alix looks up smiling as if Damaramu is about to back off. Her smile quickly changes to an expression of pain as his foot comes flying up into her stomach.*

DAMARAMU
You make me sick.........

*Alix grabs her stomach and slumps over but Damaramu is on her. He lifts her up by the hair and then grabs her throat picking her up against the wall by her throat.*

DAMARAMU
RYAN SMITH EMBARASSED ME THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS! EVERYONE THINKS I'M A JOKE! I AM NOT A JOKE! I AM DAMA-FUCKING-RAMU!

ALIX(choking)
Why me?

DAMARAMU
YOU SHOULD'VE DONE WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO! YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER QUESTIONED MY FRIEND! NOW YOU PAY THE PRICE!

*Damaramu turns tossing Alix almost over his head by the throat. She flies for a few feet before skidding to the ground. She appears to have busted her face open on the landing. She tries to stand as the blood drips to the ground but Damaramu is there again grabbing her and throwing her into the cage. She tries to fall over but he keeps her up with a couple of uppercuts to her face. She is now a bloody mess as he grabs her by her hair and drags her to the cage on the opposite wall slinging her into it. A box from on top of the cage comes down and hits her in the head as she slumps over to the ground knocked out cold. Damaramu seems to be letting up but then he comes back and delivers a hard kick to her while she's on the ground. He stands over her with his foot firmly planted on her throat choking her lifeless body.*

DAMARAMU
Now it's over........

*Damaramu lifts his fist high over his head ready to deliver a final blow when a hand comes from offscreen and grabs him by the wrist. He turns with a look of pure rage to see who has stopped him. His look turns to shock and then anger as he realizes who has ahold of him. The camera pans out to show Ryan Smith holding Damaramu and Charlie Hoss standing behind him.*

SMITH
You sick bastard........

DAMARAMU
You dead men walking...........

*Damaramu turns and flies at Ryan Smith taking him off of his feet. Both men end up on the ground throwing wild punches. However Charlie Hoss is there as he grabs Dama by the hair and tosses him off of Smith. Dama tries to get back to his feet but Smith rushes him taking him back down. Smith is on top of him laying punches and knees in as Hoss runs up. Smith backs off and Hoss lifts Dama by his throat. Dama however appears to be feeling no pain as he is like a wild animal swinging at Hoss's face. Hoss tosses him into the cage as he once again gets to his feet. Smith meets him head on delivering some hard punches that finally stagger the enraged Damaramu. Hoss stands to the side when suddenly the other cage door is kicked off of it's hinges! We turn to see that Skull Mask was hiding inside and he has taken the door off of the cage in his rage! Hoss turns to be attacked from the side by the monster. Hoss is immediately taken off of his feet. Skull Mask begins to lay clubbing forearms and hard kicks into the fallen Hoss. Hoss tries to stand but Skull Mask picks him up on his shoulders and runs straight at the brick wall. He drives Hoss into the wall with the force of a train. Hoss's eyes roll into the back of his head as Mask begins to lay hard headbutts into his face. Hoss is almost out but Mask continues to beat on him while he is pressed up against the wall.*

SMITH
CHARLIE!

*Ryan Smith begins to head over to help his friend but Damaramu is right there.*

DAMARAMU
Never take your eyes off the ball Ryan!

*Damaramu grabs the leg pipe he tosses aside earlier and runs up behind Smith delivering a hard blow to the back of his head with it. Smith is immediately taken off of his feet. Damaramu stands over the fallen Smith before bending down and lifting him off of his feet. He grabs him and slings him into the cage with enough force to shake the whole thing. The cage rattles as Smith hits the ground and a whole slew of boxes come falling down on top of Smith. Ryan is buried underneath them with only his head and one arm sticking out. Damaramu still holding the pipe squats down beside the struggling Smith.*

DAMARAMU
Listen good Ryan. I hate you. I hate everything about you. I want you gone from this business. I wouldn't go as far as to say I want you dead Ryan. No that'd be the easy way out. I just want you crippled for the rest of your life. That way you'll suffer......until the day you die. Who knows....maybe you won't be able to handle it and you'll KILL yourself. That'd make me really happy Ryan. To wake up one morning and find out that OAOAST star Ryan Smith has blown his own brains out all over his sleeping girlfriend. That'd be really great Ryan. Then I could die a happy man. *Damaramu leans in really close* Listen you son of a bitch. I've never been pinned. You've got a big task ahead of you at Wrestlemania. Because I've talked to Northstar. The only way to win our match is to PIN your opponent. That's right.......no DQ, no countout, and no Submissions. No I won't let you give up and take the easy way out. I'm going to pin you 1, 2, 3!And I've never been pinned pal...so you'll need to be better than me to pin me......and you aren't better than me. By no means are you better than me. I'll see you at Anglemania.

SMITH
Fuck you.......you're a deadman.

DAMARAMU
Wrong answer.....deadman.

*Damaramu steps back and lifts the pipe high over his head ready to deliver another blow to the helpless Smith to finish him off for good when police sirens are heard in the background.*

DAMARAMU
SHIT! SKULL! LET'S GO! COME ON!

*Skull Mask who is choking the unconcious Charlie Hoss looks up with no expression and then begins to run towards Damaramu. Both men stand together for a second looking down at the fallen Smith before they take off running as the sirens get louder. We go back to the scene of the crime as Charlie Hoss lays beaten agains the wall, Ryan Smith lays bloody under a pile of boxes and poor Alix is nearly dead against the cage in a pool of her own blood.*

(CUT to the SC)

Cole: Folks, I don't think words can describe what we just saw. I'm left totally speechless.

Caboose: Well, I'm not! I'm a fan of Damaramu's, I've sung his praises before, I'll likely do so again. But his attack on Alix was deplorable and indefensible. No matter how much you admire Damaramu's killer instinct, you cannot find a way to justify what he's just done. Alix has been taken to a hospital, we don't know the extent of her injuries, but you don't have to be a doctor to know that she's in bad shape. Thank god Charlie Hoss and Ryan Smith were there to help, or we could be planning funeral arrangements. Just despicable. Cowardly and despicable. Coach?

Coach: Peeps, we've seen a great deal of beatdowns since we've been doing the show. But this was far worse. Far worse then any we've seen. Alix Spezia is a wonderful girl, in an industry full of asshats she's usually one of the most down to earth and level headed people you'll meet. She didn't deserve this. No one deserves that. Damaramu should be suspended for a year. Just my opinion.

Cole: For once we can agree on something. But fat chance he'll ever see a suspension.
With he and Northstar planning this attack, he'll be getting a nice fat bonus check.

Caboose: You think Northstar had something to do with this?

Cole: Caboose, I wouldn't put it past him. Not at all. I'm getting word that he and his sister, Holly-wood have gotten into it over this incident. Regardless, the police are now looking for Damaramu and Skull Mask. We'll be back. Don't go away.

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

Cole: THE ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA will be making a few pit stops in the upcoming weeks as our mega stars make a variety of appearances on America's favorite Television programs!

Coach: Damn skippy! Monday you can catch Northstar and Jenna Elfman on the Today Show and set your VCR to record Alix Spezia's appearance on "Good Morning America." <if she's able to talk> That same night be sure to check out our world champion on Leno!

Caboose: That's not all, next Tuesday look for former 24/7 champion Panther to appear on TRL along side yours truly. Believe me it wasn't my choice to team up with old bitch boy.

Coach: Two Saturdays from now on BET, Holly-wood and "3 Stages of Hell" director John Singleton count down their ten favorite hip hop videos of the nineties. That same night, Calvin and Jim Ross will be on MTV at 7:00 EST to countdown the top five best Anglemania matches!

MC: Coming up right now is the sixth match in the Seven Sins Series between the Minions and the Global Party Exchange.

COACH: After being down three-to-nothing, the GPX have come back the past couple of weeks to bring the score up to a one-win defecit, as they've won both a two-out-of-three-falls match and last week's Tornado match against the Minions.

CABOOSE: After the GPX OBVIOUSLY cheated and used a table last week to win, Northstar's ordered that tables not only be legal this week, but be cause for elimination.

MC: The rules go like this: Once you go through a table, you're down as having lost half of the match for your team. However, if you're able to go on, you can legally stay in the match, despite having already gone through a table. But, once both members of a team have gone through a table, that team loses the match.

COACH: Without any further ado, let's go to the ring and get some WOOD!

CABOOSE: That was truly disturbing....

("Make Her Say" starts up, and the fans pop for the expected entrance for Scotty Static and Johnny "Jam" Jackson. However, neither man comes out.)

MC: This is very odd.

CABOOSE: Strange, indeed...for normal men. But the GPX are glorified wimps!

COACH: Whatever.

(Confused, the sound crew starts up "Pompeii", and the Minions come to the ring. They bow right before they get to the ring, and then start setting up tables around ringside. They set it up so that nearly every inch of the front half of the ringside area has a table set up on it in some form; seven tables overall.)

MC: This could get insane.

BUFFER: From St. Andrew's Cathedral, weighing in tonight at a combined weight of 411 pounds...Nathaniel and Michael, the Minions!

Out of nowhere, the lights go out, and the opening lyrics to "Make Her Say" play over the P.A. system again. The music stops right as the lights come up, and the GPX are standing behind the Minions. Nathaniel and Michael then turn around, and walk right into stereo superkicks from Static and Jackson!

COACH: The Global Party Exchange were fashionably late! What a start!

Static and Jackson pull Nathaniel and Michael up, and send them off to the ropes. The GPX follow the Minions, attempting to catch them at the ropes to send them over the top with clotheslines. However, the Minions see it coming, and are able to send Static and Jackson over the top with backdrops. Both GPX members land on their feet on the apron, but get met with shoulder blocks to the mid-section. The Minions then launch themselves over the top, and go for stereo sunset flip bombs through the tables on the floor. But, when the Minions touch the floor, the GPX clutch the top rope, and kick their assigned Minion in the face three times to get out of the predicament. The Minions then stumble around in between two tables, and are then met with stereo top-rope Asai moonsaults!

MC: The Exchange are coming from all corners tonight!

Jackson pulls Nathaniel up and sends him into the ring, as Static straddles Michael on the floor and starts punching him. Johnny goes to the apron, and then slingshots himself into the ring with a flipping legdrop onto Nathaniel. Johnny pulls Nathaniel up, and stands him up in the corner. Jackson then lets loose with repeated, stiff chops to the chest. Johnny follows up by pulling Nathaniel out of the corner, lifting him over his shoulder, and then twisting that into an inverted neckbreaker. Jackson then clutches the top rope, and launches himself up for an Arabian press. Seconds earlier, Nathaniel sent Scotty Static face-first into the guardrail on the floor, and was able to get to the apron in time to grab Jackson's legs, and leave him hanging over the top rope by the knees.

MC: The Minions are masters of the two-on-one attack, especially the two-on-one sneak attack!

Nathaniel gets to his feet, and then clutches Jackson's head, following up by dropping him with an elevated falling reverse DDT. Michael then slingshots himself over the top rope, and comes down on Johnny Jackson's chest hard with a twisting splash. Scotty Static makes it to his feet on the floor, so Nathaniel launches himself over the top rope, and sends Static back down with a pescado. Michael lifts Jackson to his feet in the ring, and connects with three stiff European uppercuts. Michael then hooks Jackson in a reverse DDT position, lifts him, and brings him down hard neck-first onto his knee.

COACH: That's not a Curtain Call; that's an acting career ender!

Michael then sits Johnny up in a seated position on the mat, and connects with three stiff kicks to the spine, as Nathaniel connects with a brainbuster on the floor on Scotty Static to keep him down. Nathaniel slides into the ring as Michael comes off of the ropes in front of Jackson, and connects with a running knee to the face. Nathaniel pulls Jackson up to his feet, hooks him in a headlock, and then smashes Jackson face-first onto his knee while keeping ahold of the headlock; as Michael latches on for the second part of the move, as in one fluid motion, the Minions bring Jackson down with a Russian legsweep/STO combination.

CABOOSE: I love how the Minions have effectively kept Scotty Static at bay as they're able to work on Johnny Jackson and take him out first.

Nathaniel pulls Jackson to his feet, and attempts to go for a suplex. But, Jackson lands on his feet behind Johnny, turns him around, hooks the head, and attempts a Sliced Bread No. 2. However, on the way back, Michael catches Johnny over his shoulder, and both Minions bring Jackson down with a Stunner/gutbuster double-team manuever. Just then, Scotty Static is able to climb onto the apron, and then up to the top rope. The Minions turn around, and Static launches onto them; attempting a cross-body block. However, they both catch Static. Nathaniel clutches Static by himself, and spins him around into a Catatonic, right onto Michael's bent knee.

COACH: Yet another in the devastating series of double-team manuevers from the Minions!

Nathaniel notices that Johnny Jackson has stumbled back to his feet, and attempts to send him back down with a superkick. But, Johnny catches the foot. Just at that second, Michael comes into the picture and connects with his superkick, sending Jackson down to the mat hard. Michael then slides outside of the ring, grabs one of the tables, kicks the legs in, and lifts it over his head. He then tosses it into the ring, having to slide it over the top rope. Michael slides back into the ring as Nathaniel lays it down flat on the mat. Michael slides back in, and lifts Static off of the mat. Nathaniel stands in front of his partner, as Michael lifts Scotty up for a powerbomb. But, Static is able to roll out the back end, and dropkicks Michael into a spear on Nathaniel doing so!

MC: Superb reversal by Static, using his opponents against themselves!

Michael comes back up, trying to apologize to Nathaniel. Static spins Nathaniel around, and brings him over with a Northern Lights suplex onto the flat table as Johnny Jackson gets to his feet and nails a running flip senton onto Michael's stomach. Nathaniel sneaks out of the ring as Static pulls Michael to his feet, and stands him up in a corner. Jackson then rips into Michael with a series of repeated side knees to the stomach, followed by a running double knee strike to the face from Static. Jackson then lifts Michael onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry, and brings him down with a sit-down facebuster. While this is going on, Nathaniel already has another table in the ring, and is setting it up diagonally in the corner.

CABOOSE: Never underestimate the down-right sneakiness of the Minions!

Static turns around to see what Nathaniel is doing, and charges at him. But, Nathaniel drops down, and Scotty's momentum sends him over the top and back to the concrete floor, making a sickening "Splat!" noise in the process. Jackson then charges at Nathaniel, but gets met with a savate kick to the stomach, followed by a superkick to the jaw, sending him down. Nathaniel pulls Jackson up, and basically stands him up using the table in the corner, forearming Johnny three times in the face to keep him there. Michael is standing in the opposite corner, and then charges at Jackson to send him through the table. But, Jackson moves. Michael is able to avoid going through the table by launching himself to the top rope in an amazing leap, turn around, and nail an incredible missile dropkick to the back of Jackson's head, sending him straight into a Flatliner from Nathaniel!

COACH: I am impressed with the Minions knowing their way around the ring this well at such a young age, and being able to avoid certain danger like that!

Both Minions then pull Jackson up to his feet, as Static crawls to the apron. Nathaniel then nails a basement dropkick to send Static back down to the floor. Nathaniel then joins his brother Michael in attempting a double Irish whip to send Jackson through the table in the corner. But, Johnny stalls himself, and uses the Minions to flip himself back onto his feet between them, and follows up by pulling both Minions into each other, head-first. Nathaniel goes down as Michael stumbles around. Johnny Jackson gets to his feet, and hooks Michael in a waistlock. Michael reverses, and is in position to attempt a German suplex on Jackson to send him through the table. But, Jackson latches his legs around Michael's waist on the way up, and rolls forward, sending Michael down to the mat on his back. Jackson pops back up, but is immediately met with a stiff Yakuza kick from Nathaniel, sending him back into a dazed position and propped up on the table in the corner.

MC: That's the thing about these Minions: whenever you get one down, the other will hit you twice as hard!

Nathaniel then pulls Jackson to his feet, and quickly lifts him in powerbomb position. Scotty Static is on the apron by the time this happens. Jackson is barely able to squeeze out the back end, and even lands on his face doing so. Nathaniel turns around, and walks right into a tremendous springboard missile dropkick to the face from Static! Static kips up, and immediately brings a charging Michael down with a hiptoss into a neckbreaker. Scotty gets to his feet, and lifts Nathaniel to his feet. Static then places Nathaniel's head in between his legs, and lifts him for a powerbomb, presumably through the table in the corner. Static tries to take a step with Nathaniel lifted, but Nathaniel slips out the back end, turns Static around, and connects with a knee to the mid-section. Nathaniel then lifts Static up on his shoulder for a running powerbomb. Nathaniel charges forward, but right before he launches Scotty off, Static brings himself forward, and nails an amazing hurricanrana reversal, flipping Nathaniel through the table in the corner!

MC: WOW! What a reversal!

COACH: And just like that, the tides have turned, as the Global Party Exchange have now taken the lead in this match, with only one more Minion to go through a table before they can tie up the series!

Both Global Party Exchange members then set up the other table center-ring, and immediately get Michael to his feet. They attempt to bring him over with a double hiptoss into a double powerbomb. But, Michael punches his way out of the move, and walks over the table to get away from them. Michael then charges into Static's mid-section with his shoulder, and sends him into a corner. Johnny Jackson charges at Michael, but Michael is able to turn around and deliver a drop toe hold on Johnny that makes him accidentally deliver a headbutt to Static's groin. Static rolls to the apron holding himself, as Michael picks up Jackson in slam position, and lays him down on the table. Michael then heads to the top rope.

MC: This is NOT good news for Johnny Jackson!

Michael then launches off to attempt a 450 splash! But, Jackson rolls off of the table. Michael is able to manuever himself at the end of the rotation so he can land in front of the table and roll onto his feet. But, when he turns around, Jackson charges, leaps onto the table with one foot, and then launches onto Michael with a bodypress! Jackson then connects with rapid-fire punches to Michael's face as Nathaniel is still practically unconcious in the corner after the referee cleared out the table residue, and Static's just getting to his feet on the apron. Johnny pulls Michael up, and lays him down on the table. Jackson then connects with three forearms to the throat to keep Michael on the table. Static then runs across the apron, closer to where the action is going on. Scotty climbs to the top rope, and looks to be positioning himself for a moonsault. But, Michael is able to reach up and rake Johnny Jackson's eyes, causing him to wander backwards blindly as instinct, and accidentally crotch his own partner on the top turnbuckle.

CABOOSE: Michael's brain is a much better partner than Scotty is to Johnny!

MC: Will you shut up?

Michael gets up off of the table, and connects with a knee to Johnny Jackson's mid-section. Michael then climbs to the second rope, using Jackson's back as a stepping stone, clutches onto Scotty Static from behind, and brings him off of the top rope with an inverted Blue Thunder Bomb, landing in a standing position and sending him straight through the table below!

CABOOSE: Michael just drove Scotty Static straight to hell!

MC: With that table break, it now ties up the two teams, and the next man to go through a table, whether it be Johnny Jackson or Michael, will be the deciding break in the contest!

Jackson gets fully standing, and starts going back-and-forth with punches to the face with Michael. Finally, Jackson is able to duck a punch from Michael, and clothesline him over the top rope. But, right as Johnny lands on the floor, Michael backs up as Nathaniel finally gets up from his table fall, and hooks Michael, bringing him over with a devastating release German suplex! Nathaniel takes a second to shake off the cobwebs, and then gets to his feet, and signals to Michael to send a table into the ring. Michael flips over one of the tables at ringside, closes the legs, picks it up, and slides it into the ring, under the bottom rope. Nathaniel then picks it up to set up, but turns around, and gets it dropkicked into his face by a groggy Johnny Jackson. The table goes flying over the top rope, and back to the floor as Nathaniel goes down. Jackson then waits for Nathaniel to get to his feet. When Nathaniel gets up, Johnny charges at him. But, Nathaniel drops down, and sends Jackson over the top rope and onto the apron.

MC: Again, Jackson is in a horrible position.

Michael slides back into the ring, as Nathaniel turns around, and they both pull a dazed Scotty Static to his feet. They lift him up, and attempt what would be a devastating double powerbomb over the top rope. But, Static snaps out of his daze and starts punching both Minions in the face enough to get them to just flip him and drop him stomach-first onto the top rope. Nathaniel then goes to center-ring, and charges at Scotty to possibly spear him to the floor. But, at the last second, Scotty latches onto Nathaniel and brings him down to the floor with an amazing suplex!

COACH: Where in the hell did THAT come from?

Michael has the ring all to himself, as he sees Johnny Jackson getting to his feet on the apron. Michael then charges to the ropes that Johnny is facing, bounces off of them, and knocks him back down with a tremendous Yakuza kick to the face! Michael then rolls Jackson onto a table right beside the apron. Michael then heads up to the top rope, but very slowly. When he gets to the top rope, he is distracted by Scotty Static getting to his feet. Static starts talking trash to distract Michael further. While this is going on, Johnny Jackson is able to roll off of the table behind Michael. Out of nowhere, Static is handed a chair from a fan in the front row, and tosses it at Michael, who is unable to catch it and takes the brunt of the chair toss to the forehead, sending him off of the top rope and through the table!

BUFFER: Your winners...the Global Party Exchange!

MC: My lord, what an ending!

COACH: I think they just killed Michael!

The referee, Nathaniel, and a few attendants check over Michael as the GPX groggily head backstage. Northstar suddenly appears on top of the stage.

NORTHSTAR: My my, that was a daredevil show if I've ever seen one. Those were some amazing risks you four took, and for that I thank you. Now, next week...the conclusion to the past six weeks of blood, sweat, and tears that you guys put into this series. Match number seven...the finale. Series is tied three-to-three, and this is the big one. Whoever wins this become superstars forever. Now it's on my plate to decide the match stipulation...hmmm...let me think here. Wait, I got it. See, the finish to this match featured you, Scotty Static, deciding to take it upon yourself to step outside the boundaries of the stipulations and use a chair, therefore proving that this feud's gotten too deep for any rules whatsoever. So, next week...don't even bother bringing ring gear. You four are going to settle this feud the old-fashioned way. Forget wrestling...next week, you four are going to beat the hell out of each other in a STREET FIGHT! Goodbye. (Northstar exits as the crowd is abuzz.)

MC: Next week, this series will be settled...no rules, no regulations...it'll be the GPX versus the Minions...it's just a good, old-fashioned street fight!

COACH: I have a feeling these four will be taking the brawling style that populates the street fight style to a whole new, innovative level!

CABOOSE: It'll be good, indeed. I guess I have to be the one who says this....more hD~! next week! Later, ass wipes! Buy my t-shirts!



(FADE to black)